#wish i could just be annoying as fuck in therapy

[fairycosmos]

wish i could just say things like "i went to neglectful asshole island and they had a statue of my parents 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣" in therapy

[hafwen]

Tw: eating disorder, anorexia, and abelism

Went to look up the therapist I’m talking to normally I don’t scroll to the bottom of the page and umm…. Are we using stock photos with mental health issues written on them for people to click on for more information? This place is such a clown show

[moderndayatlantis]

helluva boss fans stop being weird challenge (impossible)

[introvert-celeste]

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[celestial-sapphicss]

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[sensitivedead]

:--)

[zenmai--jikake--no--komoriuta]

I've been called on literally almost every day this week to cover people that are sick and honest to god I'm so burnt out holy fuck, I know we're severely understaffed and missing AN ENTIRE MANAGER and everyone has 2 jobs and it's busy school holidays and winter and illnesses are going around like crazy but........ fuck man whenever I keep getting called on it puts me into "I want to quit if you keep doing this" mode even if they're short shifts, I know I'm working less than the others who are often coming in to cover longer shifts and it sounds really petty and selfish complaining about two extra 4hr shifts but I don't have it in me to work this much over an extended period, and it fucking sucks losing those days off because I'm not even getting to recharge on the few I get to keep nowadays and I'm completely unproductive if I have work scheduled at all, my last job gave me this irrational not-quite-ptsd from ringing me every single day and this is triggering that same feeling of being boxed into a corner with no choice but to say yes to things I don't want to do and no way out............ I am stressed and I am tired and angry and I just don't see how we're going to get out of this deadlock ;;;;

[astrxealis]

sometimes (often) i think about the characters i kin or relate to and then the realization comes in again and again that i need therapy (/lh?)

[barcaatthemoon]

end of an era || jenni hermoso x reader ||

things don't always get better, but jenni tries to help you.

major angst warning, like implied/mentioned suicide attempt angst. proceed with caution.

everything and everyone went silent the moment you fell. it was daunting to watch back as you replayed the stream of your last game over and over again. jenni sighed as she glanced over at you. the two of you had been waiting in the doctor's office for hours now to see how your surgery had gone. both of you knew that it was going to be a long and hard road back, one that you honestly weren't even sure you'd have the chance to attempt.

"will you turn it off please?" jenni asked you. she was beyond trying to be nice about it. you got upset every single time that you watched it, and jenni hated hearing you get hit and go down again and again. she hadn't been there for that game, and it was one of her greatest regrets.

your teammates had told jenni how you had been immediately following the game. jenni almost couldn't believe it, not until she saw for herself that every ounce of happiness had been sucked out of you. you had become obsessive, attempting to figure out where you could have done something to reduce the damage. rather than listen to the countless people who had assured you time and time again that it was a freak accident, you still searched for an answer.

"it's not like i have anything else to do," you grumbled. jenni was really starting to get on your nerves. she was always a little annoying, but it had gone from being endearing to infuriating. "they're just going to tell me that i'm finished. my career is over, even if i can make a comeback. it will be too fucking late, jenni."

"no. no, stop talking like that. you're gonna be fine," jenni told you. oh how you wished that the doctors hadn't made her out to be a liar. jenni believed her words right up until the surgeon came in with a team of people that neither of you had ever seen before.

you felt numb as they gave the time frame of your possible return. it would be well over a year since you required multiple surgeries to fix the tears and breaks. you didn't understand how you had fucked up your body so badly, and it was obvious that jenni didn't either. however, you weren't left wondering for very long. the doctor mentioned old injuries that hadn't healed properly, claiming that your leg was a ticking time bomb that had been resting for nearly a decade.

"that was a waste of fucking time," you grumbled as you rushed towards the car. you were on crutches, so you weren't really moving that fast. jenni had slowed her pace down signficantly to keep up with you. she was carrying your bags, something that you only let her do today because she normally did it for you anyway.

"no, we have a timeline now. that's a good first step towards getting you back to where you need to be." jenni sounded so optimistic still, but you knew that it didn't matter. you'd miss the olympics, and you'd definitely have to retire by the next world cup. your time was running out, and it had essentially been cut in half by your injury.

"jenni, i'll be lucky if i ever get to step foot on a pitch again. let's just get home. i need a fucking drink." you got into the car, ignoring the look that jenni gave you. she was worried about you, despite you technically not doing anything worrisome yet.

you were depressed, and rightfully so. jenni had hoped that the doctors would have some good news for you, but they hadn't. your mood reflected that in the coming weeks as you moped around until you were cleared to start your physical therapy and rehab. your schedule for that was pretty light, especially since you had at least two more surgeries before you were in the clear.

jenni was great, and despite it being her off season, she didn't go back to spain. instead, she had moved temporarily to america to take care of you. you could tell that the move was hard on her, but she couldn't think of letting you stay by yourself. she was afraid that you'd do something stupid or dangerous if she left you alone.

you hated it, and because of that, you started to hate her as well. you hated that jenni kept looking at you like you were made of glass. you hated that she touched you so gently whenever all you wanted was for her to hold you down against the mattress and make you forget the past four months of your life. you hated jenni, and even more so, you hated that she never showed any resentment towards you.

there was always only ever going to be so much that jenni could handle. ten months out of your injury with only one more surgery to go, it all came crashing down around the two of you. the cracks in jenni's patience with you were starting to show, so she had taken a little vacation to spain without you. it wasn't for more than a few days, but it was long enough for your anger to betray you and turn into complete despair.

you had a family history of being fucked up. addiction, depression, anxiety, and a long list of other issues had plagued nearly every other member of your family for as long as you could remember. your parents had both tried to prepare you for the worst of it, and for a time, you thought that you had seen it. you had forgone taking your pain medicine because you had been terrified fo getting hooked on it. there never should have been so many pills in the house, but jenni knew she couldn't have just taken your extra ones with her to spain.

you wanted to call jenni, but she'd talk you down. you didn't feel like you deserved it. you had treated her so badly for nearly a year, to the point where she left the continent to get away from you. however, you believed that you owed her at least a text. something to thank her for taking care of you and apologize for being such a piece of shit for so long.

the time zone different meant that jenni should have been fast asleep. you didn't count on jenni being wide awake at 2 am. how could you have known that she hadn't been sleeping well since you got hurt. the vacation to spain should have been relaxing, but jenni couldn't quiet the voice in the back of her head warning her that you still weren't doing any better mentally. that was why she hadn't even finished reading your text before she was calling some of your american teammates to check up on you, hopeful that it wasn't too late.

…

"i'm here! i'm here!" jenni was nearly tripping over herself as she ran into your hospital room. she stopped when she saw you. you had expected her to start yelling at you or something, but instead she just broke down in front of you.

"i'm sorry," you apologized. jenni tried to tell you not to be sorry, but she couldn't get it out. all she could do is kneel by your bed and cry as your hand weakly ran through your hair. "it should have worked."

"i-is that how you really feel?" jenni asked you. you realized that wasn't at all what she wanted to hear, and suddenly you were filled with guilt. all of that hate and anger that you had felt before came back, but this time it was fully directed towards yourself.

"yes," you whispered. jenni wiped her eyes and stood up as she stared down at you. "i've been awful to you. how can you still love me?"

"are you fucking stupid?" jenni regretted her words as soon as they left her mouth. for the first time in months, jenni finally saw you cry. "shit. shit, shit, shit, c'mere. i'm sorry, i didn't mean it like that. i love you, i want to see you get better."

"jenni, i'm not sure that there is a better. what if i come back and this happens all over again? i think that i need to retire and take some time by myself," you told her.

"a-are you breaking up with me?" jenni asked you. there was a flash of anger in her eyes, one that completely overshadowed the hurt. "i took care of you for almost a year. i waited for you to get better, to be yourself again because i love you so much. you can't just make a decision like this by yourself, not when you aren't in the right headspace."

"jenni, they're keeping me here on a hold for a while until i can prove that i'm okay. i'm selling my place here. i don't want us to be over, but i think that if you can find someone who actually deserves you while i'm gone, then you should go for it. and if you don't by the time that i'm better, then i'd really like you to consider letting me come back to you," you told her. jenni didn't like the sound of that, but it wasn't a clear breakup. it was a break, if anything, and jenni knew for a fact that she wouldn't find someone else unless you actually forced her to. "i've already been let out of my contracts, they're just waiting to make the announcements."

"i wish that you'd reconsider this, but i am glad that you can make rational decisions," jenni said. you nodded as you gave her hand a little squeeze. there was a chair by your bed, but jenni crawled right in next to you. she had a couple days to stay with you before you were moved to the facility that you'd call home for as long as it took you to get better. jenni didn't know when you'd be back, but she kept a calendar to keep count of the days you were gone.

[auras-moonstone]

hii i love your work sm! do you think you do back to december by taylor swift ethan x reader?

back to december — ethan landry

word count: 1,876

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

summary: after insecurities got the best of her, y/n breaks up with ethan. a few months later, she goes to his dorm to say sorry for that night.

warnings: angst, mentions of toxic relationship, insecurities.

Y/N KNEW SHE HAD PROBABLY MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF HER LIFE BY BREAKING UP WITH ETHAN, but at the same time she knew it was probably the best thing for him. The ghost of her past relationship never quite stopped haunting her—do the wounds of a toxic relationship ever fully heal? Y/N was starting to believe they did, until she bumped into him, and the fears crept back into her mind after that.

Do you really think he loves you?

He only wants you for your looks, but he’ll eventually get tired of you, like I did, because you have nothing else to offer.

Smart boys like Ethan Landry end up with equally-smart girls, Y/N. You’re just a good fuck for him, a doll to have on his arm.

It’s not going to last, he’s going to break up with you. He’s too good for you, you know that, right?

Those were the words that he had said and Y/N couldn’t erase from her mind. Those were the words that led her to leave her only source of happiness, the only boy she had ever truly loved. Ethan was better off without her, he was too amazing and sweet to have to deal with her and her insecurities and demons.

But if it was for the best, why did it feel so wrong? She hadn’t been able to sleep ever since. She stayed up late and played the scene of her leaving the commodity of his arms.

The worst day after the break-up had been the one of his birthday. Many were the times she had opened his contact, her finger floating around the ‘call’ button, but she didn’t dare to do it. And then, she saw their friends’ Instagram stories and she broke down. They were throwing him a party, and Ethan looked so beautiful yet so sad, and she knew that was on her. It was wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming, but she wondered if one of the birthday wishes involved her.

She missed him so much, the pain wouldn’t leave her chest. She missed watching him laugh from the passenger side when they made their way to college, she missed his long fingers wrapped around hers, his big brown eyes that were like magnets, and she really missed those lips she used to call home.

It had been three months since she left him standing in his living room, with a crestfallen expression and without letting him fight for their relationship. Y/N knew that if she had let him talk, she wouldn’t have been able to walk away, so she ran before that could happen.

A few weeks after that, she got into therapy, thing she should’ve done since she stepped out of her toxic relationship, and was finally able to see she had messed up. She should’ve never walked away without telling him everything first, she forgot the most important thing in a relationship is communication. She had let herself get scared by the ghost of her past and hurt a person that had done nothing but give her roses, and in exchanged she had left them there to die.

Y/N had decided it was time to swallow her pride, take her feet towards Ethan’s dorm and say sorry for that awful night. Not only for him, because that’s what he deserved, but also for her. Because there hadn’t been a day in which she hadn’t gone back to December, wishing she could go back in time and change it. She couldn’t do that, but she could still make things right.

So building up courage, she knocked on his door. Heart beating faster as she listened the sound of footsteps getting closer to her.

Ethan cursed when he heard the knock. Dragging his feet across the living room, he scolded Chad on his mind. His roommate had the habit of forgetting his key and it really annoyed Ethan. Though when he swung the door open, he froze in his place as he came face to face with the girl who lived free-rent on his mind. Even if she had ran away after the three words left his mouth, he couldn’t help missing her.

That rainy december night, in that very same apartment, Ethan had told Y/N he loved her. It was something he had been dying to get off his chest. He hadn’t expect her to say it back—he would’ve understood if she wasn’t ready, but he definitely hadn’t expected her to walk out of that door without uttering a word. He had given her his heart and she had dropped it, breaking it into a million pieces like shattered glass.

“Hi.” she broke the heavy silence.

“What are you doing here?” he asked in a cold voice. Ethan stood firmly on the door, furrowing his eyebrows.

“I wanted to talk to you.” she said softly, and then, disguising the pain it caused her, though not doing a great job at it, she added, “I texted you, but you either changed your number or you blocked me.”

Guiltiness filled his chest, but then he shook it off—she left him, not the other way around. He shouldn’t feel guilty. Of course he blocked her, and then deleted her number to avoid giving into the need to call her and beg for an explanation. “Um, yeah. Look, if it’s about that night, it’s okay. I’m over it, we don’t need to talk about it. Let’s just move on, on our own way.”

I’m over it… those words were like a slap to her face. Did he really move on? Had the love he felt for her turn into ashes? Fighting the urge to cry, she pleaded, “I can’t move on if I don’t explain what happened. I understand if you don’t want to see me right now, I can wait. I just… I really need to tell you what was going on in my mind. I still live in the same apartment, so, if you decide you want to hear my version… you know where to find me. No pressure.” she gave him a tiny smile and turned around, ready to walk away.

Ethan heard the sound of his own voice say “Wait.”, making her turn around with hopeful eyes, and Ethan just gave in. Her eyes were still his greatest weakness, just as his eyes were hers. “Come in.”

The two ex-lovers sat awkwardly on the very same couch they had been laying on that night. "So, how's life? How's your family? Haven't seen them in a while." she said, meaning to clear the mood.

"Good, we are good. Busier than ever. Did you come from work?" his tone was a polite one, but it didn't hold the softness Y/N had been accustomed to. It was very clear that his guard was up, and Y/N knew exactly why—he hadn't moved on like he tried to make her believe a couple of minutes ago, he was still hurt and confused. The last time he saw her still burned in the back of his mind, and that's why she needed to explain everything.

"Yeah." she answered before sighing. "I know this is uncomfortable for you, so I should just get it off the desk. I'm sorry, Eth. I'm sorry for that night. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, I'm sorry I ever left."

The walls broke down after the situation was addressed, and Ethan finally showed how he really felt—his eyes got glossy and he looked her in the eyes, the desperation painted on his face. "Why did you do it? I told you I loved you for the first time, and you just left me. I don't understand. Did I scare you? Was it too soon for you? I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you, I just wished you would've talked to me instead of disappearing."

"God, no. Stop. Why would you apologize? You did nothing wrong." she assured him, resting her hand on top of his. "It wasn't too soon, and I didn't leave because I didn't love you. I did. I've known it since the fall."

"Fall? But we started dating during the fall." he said confused. Y/N blushed and shrugged—yes, she had fallen in love with him quickly and hard, but it was inevitable. Ethan was the most amazing guy she'd ever known. "If you'd known it since then, what happened? Why didn't you say it back?"

"That morning I bumped into my ex." Y/N confessed.

Ethan furrowed his eyes and his jaw clenched. Nothing good could've come out of that encounter. He remember the way she sobbed on his chest as he held her in his arms that September night; how, in between hiccups, she told him the manipulation and abuse her ex had put her through. And now, everything clicked: why Y/N had looked so shaken up when they met that day, why she looked so off. "What did that asshole say?"

Y/N repeated every exact word. Words that had worked as salt on a wound that had never quite closed. "I really thought I had moved on from all that hurt, but it took just a few words from him to tear all my confidence and progress down. After I broke up with you, my mom sent my this therapist's number... and now I’m finally okay."

Ethan was never a violent person, but now, he wanted nothing more than to find that piece of shit and cut his tongue so he can never speak like that to someone again, especially not to his girl. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I should've asked you what was wrong."

"You did, Eth. And I brushed you off." she smiled weakly. "I should have told you. I was just so scared, and I really believed he was right. I'm so sorry, Eth. I'm sorry for hurting you."

"It's okay. I understand now. You didn't deserve to go through the hell that asshole put you in. I'm glad you got help and moved on from that."

"Me too. I just... I just wish it hadn't been at the expense of your feelings." her voice got weak, and Ethan didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her.

"I know, but you are okay now, and you came here to explain everything." he assured her, pressing her close to his chest. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, you have no idea. I have been replaying that moment since December, I wish I could change what happened."

"Stop punishing yourself, love. It's done, it's in the past. You are here now, we are here now. That is all that matters."

"I love you, Ethan. I loved you then, and I still love you now. And... I get if you aren't ready for this but I want to try again. I swear I'll love you right, just like you deserve."

"I've been dreaming of this moment for months, love." he said softly and sweetly, eyes shining like fireworks. "Yes, I want to try again. I love you."

"Really?"

"Yes, really" he said, leaning down to let their lips connect. And as always, they were like two pieces that belonged together, two pieces that should've never been apart. "I loved you then, and I still love you now."

[depressopax]

Dating Berlin headcanons

Fandom - La casa de papel/Money Heist

NSFW version

SFW version can be found here

Pairing: Andrés de Fonollosa x gender neutral reader Genre: Smut, headcanons Warning(s): Sexual content. Semi-public, oral, cuss words, degradation, penetration Words: 1.2K Summary: Dating Berlin/Andrés would include…  English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! AO3 link soon

Andrés is a switch… You can’t change my mind

He loves being on top of you, making you beg for him and his cock

…But he also loves being under you, letting you have your way with him while he submits to all of your wishes.

It totally depends on what you like in bed

And what mood he’s in. 

He has much stamina and a high sex drive, but sometimes he just likes being lazy, letting you take control while he lays down.

Basically a bit of a “pillow princess” lmao

When he’s being submissive, you’re all his.

He appreciates you being loving, of course

But he also gets turned on by you being rough, with degradation/insults and moving in a fast pace

Fuck it, he gets turned on by you choking him and “light” slaps on his face.

As long as you don’t leave big marks on his skin, he doesn’t mind. 

When he’s in control, he has two moods: - Passionate and slow - Fast and rough - No in between, usually.

He loves seeing you all helpless underneath him, making you a moaning, whimpering mess with his hard thrusts and fast pace

Just slutting you tf out

Heads up - if you ask him to be rough, homeboy will NOT hold back.

Seriously, when he says: “I’ll fuck you so you can’t walk straight” He means it. 

But of course he also loves to show his love to you with slow, passionate love-making sessions, so he calls them. 

Long strokes, lots of praise and kisses

Sex with Andrés means a lot of foreplay and some damn good aftercare.

He likes to really prepare you before penetrating you.

…Which you probably need. He is bigger than other men.

Which he brags about. ;)

He could (and probably will) tease you for hours.

Foreplay with him is usually cheesy. 

He lights candles, gives you massages, kisses you and rubs you in oils 

He knows what he does with both his hands/fingers and mouth 👀

He takes lot of time to make sure you’re ready

He wants you to beg for his cock before he gives it to you.

He uses condoms, but only if you ask him too.

Otherwise, he probably “forgets”

But sometimes he simply skips the foreplay and goes straight to action.

Usually this is when he’s frustrated, angry or really excited to see you (after being away from you etc)

Where he takes you doesn’t matter

He’ll bend you over anything, at any time, thrusting his cock into you whilst whispering praise

Or while ranting about why he’s in a bad mood - using sex as “therapy”.

When he’s in the mood, he’s a needy/clingy bitch

Sorry not sorry lol

Kissing your neck, playfully spanking your ass… You name it.

Doesn’t matter if you’re around people, he will not hesitate to tell you just how horny he is.

He doesn’t hide his boner from you, either.

Stands behind you, his clothed erection against your ass

You think he’s being annoying? “Do something about it” He’ll murmur with a big ass grin

Won’t stop until he gets to fuck you

OR until YOU fuck him.

He likes riling you up, getting you a bit mad only so you’ll be aggressive with him in bed.

During sex, he is either very serious, but can also crack a joke or two.

He tries to be “funny” especially if you are nervous during sex etc.

Your comfort is his top priority.

Lot of reassurance and questions “You ok?” “Does that feel good, mi amor?” “We’ll stop if you want to.”

He also praises you a lot “Fuck… Taking my cock so well.” “You’re so beautiful. So damn perfect”

When it comes to oral, Andrés doesn’t really have a preference either.

Like I said, this man is a switch.

It’s pretty easy to make him submit to you

Definitely will get on his knees if you ask him too - ready to please your needs

He likes squeezing your thighs, slapping your ass or stroking your stomach and chest when his lips/tongue works down there.

When he gives you oral, he’s very passionate and teasing

But if he’s really turned on tho - he’s messy. 

Sloppy oral sex where he uses a bit too much tongue- (I’m sorry 😭)

He could - probably would too - spend hours between your legs, tasting you

…Talks a bit too much “I could spend hours between your legs” “You taste so sweet, mi amor.” “That’s it… Lay back down and let me take care of you.”

Hot, but sometimes annoying lmao

When he’s the one receiving it? Lord have mercy-

Berlin tries to be nice and wants you to feel comfortable.

But how can he not push your head a bit?

If he feels mean, he pushes his hips up, making you gag on his cock.

He likes hearing you choke on him, and the tears in your eyes is a turn-on.

He likes finishing down your throat, holding your head still and basically fuck your face

But if YOU take charge - he’ll lay back down and let you control everything

Just tell him to “Be still”/”Don’t fucking move” and he’ll obey like a good boy <3

This is also one of the times when he’ll whimper and beg for you.

He thinks you’re so damn good at blowjobs, and legit begs for them all the time.

He’s extra sensitive when your mouth is around his member, and making him whimper and moan is easy peasy. 

He’s very rewarding after you give him heads, too.

Andrés is a bit of a kinky mf.

He def has some kind of daddy kink, wanting you to call him “daddy” in bed.

Honestly? He wouldn’t mind calling you mommy/daddy in bed too (if you’re into that lmao) - or he will do so just to tease you

He’s into light BDSM, and owns some nice pairs of blindfolds, ropes/handcuffs, a gag and some whips- 

The scene where he was tied up? Homeboy enjoyed that a bit too much Iykwim ;)

Sorry, but Andrés is definitely into cockwarming 👀

After finishing, he usually doesn’t pull out but instead keeps his softening member inside of you.

If you are into that too, he suggests for you to cockwarm him during nights.

He just loves being inside of you

When it comes to aftercare, he loves it.

Running you a hot bath, giving massages etc.

He is not the guy that asks for aftercare from you, but he does appreciate you taking care of him after you’ve topped him.

He likes to cuddle you 

Also likes having late night conversations with you, talking about dreams and the future, or just random bullshit.

He is very affectionate afterwards.

He loves and cherishes you and always tries showing it to you.

But after sex he is extra loving, which you can tell by the way he looks into your eyes

Or his smile.

To summarize… This man appreciates you no matter what and doesn’t care if he’s over or under you. He is a very passionate man and loves sex with you.

Did I just spend like 2h straight on writing a very detailed Berlin smut? Yep. No regrets 😭

[procyonloser]

Mini au fic IDK. Pre adamsapple. Divorced Dad Adam. Modern/Human Au

Old man yaoi

Adam picked up Abel, who was still sniffing even as he latched onto Adam's leg. Cain, on the other hand, was glowering up at his brother, still holding onto his backpack and clearly not wanting to go. Admittedly, Adam wasn't happy about being here at fucking 2 in the goddamn morning either.

"Sorry," Charlie said, lisping a bit since she'd gotten braces. She might have tried to look goth, but she was still a theater kid at heart. "In school, everyone was talking about this new movie...I mentioned it to the twins, it sounded like they wanted to see it."

"I did want to see it." Cain complained, siding with his step sister and looking put out.

"Yeah, well, Abel pissed himself in fear, so maybe no fucking slasher movies for kids under 10?" Adam huffed, readjusting Abel on his hip so the kid wasn't strangling him. "Where's your mom?"

"On a date, in the city. They were dressed all fancy and left in a really cool car." Cain said glumly.

"Wouldn't take us with."

Yeah, no shit, Adam thought to himself. He couldn't imagine a worse hell than a romantic date with two 7 year olds tagging along the entire time.

"Why don't you have any cars like that?" Cain asked him.

"Because your mom took all my shit in the divorce, and then married a rich fuck." Adam said in feigned sweetness. Charlie looked upset, eyebrows fitting together, but she was all of 13, and she knew just as well as he did that her mom Lilith was Adam's other ex wife. So, he had reason to be annoyed. "Now get your shit and get in the car, we're going home. It's too late at night for this and your brother is going to need therapy."

"The monster that lived under his bed ate out the man's eyeballs." Abel mumbled into his shoulder. Great, Adam wasn't going to sleep alone for a year.

"You suck, I wish Lucifer was my dad..." Cain stomped down the front steps with as much force as a 7 year old could muster. Adam rolled his eyes, but before he could open his mouth again, a candyapple red car came screaming up the very long driveway.

"Fuck," Adam whispered under his breath. "Here we go again."

Lucifer practically jumped out of the front seat, running up the sidewalk looking concerned, but his tie was noticeably loose, and the buttons on his shirt weren't in the right spot. There was what a bit on lipstick on his neck.

"I got your message, Charlie, is everything alright?" Lucifer asked, looking at his daughter in worry. "No one is hurt, are they?"

"Everything is fine," Adam cut her off, glaring down at the older man. "Abel got scared, I'm taking the boys home."

Lucifer looked between him and the boys, frown curling his expression downwards. "Oh no, that's too bad. I'm so sorry to hear that, I was really looking forward to the weekends they were here..."

Not enough to stop you from going out and plowing Eve on a Friday night, Adam thought in smoldering anger. He'd had to drive all the way across town to drop them off, only to come back in the middle of the fucking night for them.

"Yeah, I had the rest of the weekend planned. Homemade pancakes and waffles with whipped cream and fruit, then I was going to take them to LuLuWorld, and then I was going to let them pick out any toy set they wanted." Lucifer listed off, seemingly legitimately upset by the news. Abel's head picked up off of Adam, and he looked at his step father in sudden fixation.

Eve got out of the car, glare fixed on Adam before rounding it to wrap her arm through Lucifer's. She sure as fuck never wore any dresses like that when he'd been married to her.

"Well, if the boys want to stay with Adam, that's fine. Nothing wrong with that, Charlie likes to stay at her mother's some days too." Eve practically purred, running a finger along Lucifer's jaw. Lucifer looked up at her with adoration that made Adam's stomach turn. How long had it been since he and Lucifer had been friends?

"I think I'm okay now," Abel said, pushing to get down on the ground. Adam let him go, and Abel ran over to his step sister's side, which caused Cain to do the same. "Yeah, I'm totally okay now. Thanks Dad, see you again Monday!"

"Or never, we could just stay here," Cain said under his breath, but Adam heard it anyway.

"Oh good!" Lucifer said, turning to smile at Adam, like he was doing him some kind of favor. "I'm sure you're happy to get your weekends back! I'm sure you're busy."

Eve scoffed, and Adam boiled below the surface.

"Fucking whatever man." Adam turned to walk towards his car, but Eve stopped him with a small smile on her painted lips. Lucifer was already leading the kids back into the house, promising them popcorn and a happier movie to watch.

"Maybe we should rethink custody arrangements?" Eve raised her eyebrow at him, a sly smile darkening her features. "The twins seem much happier here."

Adam fumed, marching up to get in her face, not afraid of how it looked. "Fuck. You. You didn't even want them. I had to fucking beg you to take them on the weekends because they wanted their mom. You're not taking them from me."

Eve didn't seem bothered by his response. "Looks like I already have." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and sauntered back into the house, only sending one last parting message to him. "By the way, Adam? He's bigger."

The door shut behind her, and Adam was left outside, cold, in the dark, and pondering arsony.

"Maybe I'll fucking steal him from you, see how you like it!" Adam shouted at the front door, hands balled up into fists at his sides. "I can't fucking wait until you're miserable and I'm the one sucking his fucking soul out through his co-"

The door creaked back open, and Lucifer looked out of it, brows furrowed. "...Uh...the kids can hear you."

Adam turned bright red from embarrassment. "Fucking good! I'm glad!"

Lucifer stared at him. "... Right, goodnight, Adam."

With that the door shut, and Adam got back into his car, slamming the door closed, and then hitting his head against the steering wheel about fifty times.

First loves sucked. Second loves sucked more. Third loves sucked hardest.

He hoped his ramen in the microwave hadn't gotten mushy.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

ep 1. but i’ll miss you | myj, jjk

sugar, spice, and everything nice ep 1. but i'll miss you.

pairing(s): yoonji (fem!myg) x reader x jungkook

summary: Sugar? Min Yoonji. Spice? The woman at the park. Everything nice? Jeon Jungkook (he is freaking annoying, though). The accidental chemical X? Well, the woman in the park that Min Yoonji finds incredibly attractive is kinda-dating-definitely-fucking Jeon Jungkook. And he's very obviously in love with her.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; Yoonji is pansexual and still in the closet; internalized homophobia + moments of gay panic; ft. best friend group, OT6 (specifically Kim Seokjin, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung during the bowling hangout), best friend!Jung Hoseok is at military service (sad); f/f/m love triangle? slow burn; there will be smut in the future; non-idol!AU - Yoonji's POV

set in South Korea, Karrot is resale app for clothing, furniture, etc

--

“What does it taste like?”

That mere smile sent chills down her spine.

“Sweet.”

There was nothing to say to that. She looked away, not wanting to look into those eyes anymore. Didn’t ask for a bite. It wasn’t hers. It seemed to be a homemade dessert of soft silken tofu and heavy ginger syrup. The kind of sugar syrup that was heavier than the tofu. The dark viscous liquid dripped between the cracks of puffy white, seeping into the decadence, similar to the way those scorched eyes seemed to see past any defense Min Yoonji had.

She didn’t know how she got into this position, yet here she was.

Sigh.

Inwardly, she wished her best friend Jung Hoseok was here. He wasn’t because he was busy fulfilling his service of being a Korean man. Hmph. Well, Yoonji could have come alone. She had done it before. She was tough enough. But something about this this had given her a bad feeling, so she had asked if a friend could accompany her to help pick up the light fixture that she had found on Karrot.

That friend being Jeon Jungkook.

Shit, Yoonji really fucked up asking Jeon Jungkook.

“I’m sorry, noona, but something came up! I messed up my knee. I’ll send my friend instead. Don’t worry. You’ll be safe!”

Now she was sitting here on this park bench with the…

Woman.

Really, Yoonji didn’t even know her name. She knew her face, of course. Seen it enough times. Had never once thought to ask her name, mostly since Yoonji only saw her from a distance, said woman now often leaving Jungkook’s side whenever their friend group made time to meet up. Everyone teased him, your girlfriend? And this young, tall, tattooed punk would grin and not say anything. Jungkook was incapable of lying.

Just “keke,” and that was that.

Yoonji didn’t like it.

She was the only girl in her friend group. Probably equated to some internalized discourse if she bothered to go to therapy about it. But, during the time that she had been able to talk to a professional, she had kept the conversation about other people gender-neutral and without names. At the time, her relationships with others were all affected by her disconnected and toxic relationship with herself. She had to fix that first before moving forward. Back then, she had been suffering from the common syndrome of being depressed, stressed, and well-dressed.

Yeah.

Those rough years were not that funny, but at least Yoonji could joke about it now.

Anyway, about this woman.

This woman had actually showed up before her, sitting gracefully at the agreed-upon public park bench that Yoonji would soon encounter some stranger for an industrial-looking black chandelier that may or may not be real. The replies had been in broken Korean. Probably a foreigner using a translator. There was probably nothing to worry about, but the messages had been… weird. Asking about what Yoonji was doing after and such. No, she didn’t like it, and so she had asked Jungkook to accompany her. Dude looked like a tiger, his stripes being his multiple tattoos and facial piercings, but he had the soul of an adorable and vigorous bunny. Wouldn’t hurt anyone. Looked the part just in case anyone got the wrong idea. Boxed as well, for fun. But, instead of Jungkook, Yoonji was sent this woman who came with her snack of sweet tofu, silently and unashamedly eating it with a foldable spoon at the opposite end of the park bench.

Jungkook’s woman?

Who cares.

Was this worse or better than that punk? They dressed similarly, to be honest. The spoken-of woman was wearing all black. A baseball cap with an upside-down smiley face, leather jacket with matte-black metal spikes, charcoal baggy jeans, and a tight crop top with some kind of insane, probably satanic pattern on it. Yoonji snuck a peek. Circles and runes and horned devil heads, glossy print on fabric. Yup, downright hellish.

She abruptly realized she was staring at another woman’s tits and looked away immediately.

Clothed, but still.

This woman also sat like an insane person. Legs wide open compared to Yoonji’s crossed ones. Relaxed stance with a completely straight back. Refined and uncouth at the same time. It made no sense. Her hair curled around her shoulders and chin, loose and messy and intensely sexy.

She adjusted her cap and Yoonji darted her eyes around the park.

Looking for the seller.

Obviously.

Yoonji came dressed as she normally did. Comfortably, in a loose beige hoodie and similarly baggy slate blue jeans with rips in the knees. She wasn’t going to dress up for some musty dude and his lighting fixture, and definitely not for Jeon Jungkook. And not for Jungkook’s, uh…

Girlfriend?

Meh.

There was a strange shiver fluttering in her ribcage. Unease of being underdressed somehow, even though they were simply meeting up for this very specific task. They had not agreed to go anywhere after. Perhaps she would help carry the chandelier. Presumably it was broken down and in its box. Allegedly. Still, the box could be heavy. Yoonji checked her phone. Not time yet. Five more minutes. She had the brief thought that it could be possible for the seller to be late due to transporting a larger package. Awesome. Couldn’t wait for this continued awkward silence with her soft tofu devourer.

She sensed movement by her side.

The woman capped the now empty glass cup with a black plastic lid, foldable spoon inside it, and slipped the whole thing into her small backpack. She shoved it back to her side. Yoonji noticed there was photocard holder attached to it. She couldn’t see the artist since it had flipped around. The other side was black with some grey text on it. There was also a black strap with a grey flame hanging off the photocard holder. Huh. Seemed like she liked idols. At the very least music in general. Yoonji wanted to ask, but that seemed weird to bring up now.

“Jungkook tell you how he busted his knee?”

She almost jumped at the throaty, silken voice. Stopped herself. The other woman cleared her throat, her brows furrowing. It must have been due to the ginger syrup. Even with the slight distance, Yoonji had been able to smell the intense strength of the spice.

“Uh… no, he didn’t.”

The cap bobbed. “Hm. Good.”

Good?

Yoonji frowned. “What do you mean, good?”

Light shrug. “I can help you carry the box back to your place. I gotta head that way to go to the fitness store.”

The fucking one-eighty in topic didn’t throw Yoonji off in the slightest. She said enough by saying nothing. Yoonji watched the way those shaded eyes remained forward, not lifting her shoulders from the bench. Then those dark orbs shifted and suddenly Yoonji was stuck in a penetrating gaze with faint smile, feeling as if she knew something but didn’t really know it.

Those full lips were beautifully shaped.

Anyone would think that.

She bit her lip. Say something. “Why do you need to go to the fitness store?” Yoonji asked, chewing the dead skin off. It was a bad habit. Didn’t usually happen unless she was stressed.

The woman raised her hand. Graceful fingers. Neatly manicured nails. Dark purple with a cobalt blue shimmer. Could be a pianist’s hands, if it wasn’t for the almond-shape of those nails. Yoonji felt her own fingers tuck into the sleeves of her hoodie. She didn’t usually paint them. Kept her nails short due to her job, repairing and selling guitars. Of course, she was no poser and played them too. Sometimes, though, she thought about trying those fancy manicures girls had.

Then she remembered that wasn’t like her at all.

“I have carpal tunnel, so I have wrist compression braces. They’re getting kinda ratty. I wanted to buy some new ones.” She laughed, in a naughtily cheerful, almost bratty way. It was stupid attractive. “The people in the shop probably think I’m lifting weights but, nope. Just feeding my gaming addiction.”

Her eyes flickered up and down, checking out the other woman’s frame. Yoonji couldn’t tell the size of her arms but a vague assessment could be made from those thin pretty wrists and previous knowledge when viewing from afar. “You don’t look like you lift weights.”

“Hey, I’ve got some muscle.”

And much to Yoonji’s surprise, the woman brushed off the right shoulder of her leather jacket and flexed her arm, showing off the small hard lump of a bicep with a laugh. Not much there at all yet undoubtedly defined. She even smacked it with her left hand for sarcastic emphasis, and then pulled her jacket back on smoothly with a smirk.

“Only got that from jackin’ dick though.”

It was pretty funny, but Yoonji wasn’t laughing.

She was slack-jawed at the ease of vulgarity and the shameless confidence oozing out of every pore, suddenly realizing the reason why Jungkook was with this woman. Her rapid heartbeat choked her throat as her brain mentally replayed the swift, seamless movement of black leather falling off that slim shoulder. That accompanying playful smirk. The devious mirth in those scorched eyes.

That aggressive smack that did… something.

At that second, there was a cheery jingle that sounded from the woman’s jeans.

“That’s the time you said the seller is supposed to be here,” she said, fishing out her phone and turning off the alarm. “Where is he?”

Grateful for having an excuse to look away, Yoonji aimlessly swiped at her phone screen to keep her hands busy. “Let me check my messages.” Not getting flustered about it. Definitely not.

She had to face reality.

She’s straight.

At any rate, this woman and Jungkook were undeniably fucking. There was no question about that. Too many times it felt like Jungkook was arriving at the gatherings with a big grin and better mood after being seen with her. That was the face of a man getting laid, for sure. Whatever. Yoonji didn’t care about her friends’ dating or sex lives. It wasn’t her business. Most of the time the girls weren’t even her type.

Most of the time.

Not that she had a type. Or anything.

In this current season of life, she had already come to terms with her sexual orientation. Yoonji had known all her life that she was who she was. There had been no internal struggles about if it was true or not. It was. Still, there was no reason to directly say anything to anyone about it. After all, so far she had only dated and had sex with men. Most of her friends were men too. Status quo could remain since there was no good reason to challenge it. She also wasn’t the type to act on impulse. Not with the delicate line that was this. Yoonji had mentioned it to Hoseok at some point. Being the smart man he was, Hoseok had advised that her sexuality was something she didn’t have to broadcast if she didn’t want to. But, if she needed to do that to feel like herself, then he assured her that their friend group would be accepting of whatever choice she made.

And if not, he would kick them out.

She had felt very appreciative about that. However, the topic of her sexuality never came up in conversation with her friends, so Yoonji had never voiced or alluded to anything about it to the other guys. It wasn’t necessary, so she remained in her comfortable little bubble. She had not yet felt compelled to search for a community or meet specific people. It seemed troublesome. She was content with her current friends and her daily life kept her busy. Besides, there was no one to risk it for.

Certainly not for Jungkook’s…

Um.

Friend-with-benefits.

“What did he say?’

Yoonji jumped as the woman scooted closer, indicating her screen with the open Karrot app. She looked down, the realization setting in.

“The… The profile is deleted?”

The sudden annoyance and rage overpowered any uncomfortable feelings. Listing disappeared. Profile deleted. Even the in-app messages erased because the seller didn’t exist. The fuck? Ugh, that deal was too good to be true. It didn’t even exist. Must have been a cowardly creep that was watching them right now and lost his nerve since Jungkook’s friend was here perched like a bird of prey. Yoonji felt a growl boil in her chest. All this for nothing.

“Aw, man, it was fake? That sucks.”

Holy fuck, she smells good.

Like warm coffee with a sensual depth.

Wait, what?

“Hm, well, I won’t bother you any more then. I’ll go some other time to the fitness store. These things happen,” the woman sighed in disappointment, standing up and stretching, her small backpack and photocard holder swaying. Some guy in a leather jacket. At the moment, Yoonji was too furious to note who the idol was. “Get yourself something nice to eat, Min Yoonji. You’re already out.”

She frowned.

“Hey, I never caught your name.”

Those predator eyes flickered back. “Oh? I figured Jungook would tell you.”

Why is she playing games? “It never came up,” she snapped back.

That fucking smile.

Yoonji hadn’t known it then, but she had already fallen down the rabbit hole at this point.

“Ah, don’t get mad at me. I just thought it was kinda funny Jungkook would keep it from you. Wonder why.” Light shrug with her thumbs slipping into her pockets. “I should teach him to have better manners. My name is…”

-

“Come hang out with us, noona. It’s okay.”

“No, no, I don’t want to intrude. I would only be in the way.”

“But I’ll miss you.”

A small, coy smile. An elegant hand reached up and tucked a bit of black hair back under the beanie. The smile grew wider as those manicured fingers lingered by an ear adorned with five lobe earrings. A chain connected the first and last in the line. Flashy for someone who didn’t have a flashy personality – at least, not to strangers.

Min Yoonji watched Jeon Jungkook wiggle childishly, tugging on the sleeve of a black denim jacket covered with gothic patches. Skulls and cats and devils. Shit like that. When the woman stood next to Jungkook, they visually suited each other well. The younger man wore a grey beanie, a loose black silk shirt patterned with flourishing white text tucked into baggy, ripped jeans, and a simple black belt. Chunky black boots that matched the chain-covered heeled ones his companion was wearing. Underneath the patch-covered denim jacket, she wore a tight-fitted, dark grey jersey minidress that showed off her attractive and clearly feminine figure.

She knew she shouldn’t, and yet Yoonji still lingered by the other side of the bus stop LED advertisement, eavesdropping on the conversation between Jungkook and his mystery-title friend.

The stop was located right outside the brightly-lit bowling alley that she was supposed to be meeting her friend group at. Uncharacteristically, Yoonji had ended up late due to a train delay. She had skipped the bus ride and had run to her destination. There had also been reports of a minor road accident and Yoonji wasn’t going to wait any more. Besides, she had worn sneakers, jeans, and a white hoodie, along with a black ball cap with some distressed detailing. Nothing fancy.

Or ladylike.

She was meeting a bunch of dudebros anyway.

“You know, most guys would be happy to ditch an annoying girl to hang out with their friends,” the woman was saying, chuckling as Jungkook swung her arm in an arc.

“But you’re not annoying,” he was saying, spinning her around as if they were dancing. “Ah, I don’t even wanna go bowling anymore…”

The woman poked Jungkook on the side of the head, still letting him tug her around. How bothersome was that? But she acted as if he was being totally normal and not causing a bunch of passerby stares. “Don’t be like that. Besides, you have an addiction.”

And then, much to Yoonji’s surprise, Jungkook dropped the woman’s hand and reached out to hug her.

Except his hands were on the woman’s ass.

Yoonji frowned.

Idiot.

“Mhm, I do…”

“Get off me,” the woman laughed, her hands cradling his head. Yoonji got the impression that she didn’t mean it in a cruel way, especially since she was feathering kisses over Jungkook’s cheeks. Or it sounded like that. Her current angle wasn’t great. “If your friends see, they’re gonna tease you.”

“Who cares? They’re just jealous.”

No, I’m not.

She hadn’t said it out loud and yet Yoonji tensed, feeling heat rush over her cheeks.

Never mind.

“Aww, okay, okay, I’ll go now. I can come over tomorrow night, right?”

A wonderful, exasperated laugh. “Don’t you have work? You need to sleep.”

“Sleep is for the weak,” Jungkook huffed, detaching himself and backing up. “I’m gonna come over.”

“And I’m not gonna stop you. See you, silly boy.”

She yanked her body back behind the advertisement as Jungkook grinned and ran off into the bowling alley. He wasn’t the type to walk like a normal human being. But who cared about that? What did Yoonji just witness? Of course, she had seen her friends in relationships before. The handsome and elusive Kim Taehyung had maybe one or two serious relationships. The ever-so-flirty Park Jimin was notorious for dating around. Educated literary fiend Kim Namjoon had a girlfriend for a long while. It had ended badly. Her best friend Jung Hoseok had friends of all genders and various stages of depth in those relationships. Hoseok himself was protective of his heart but not opposed to giving love. As far was Yoonji knew, goofy and well-off Kim Seokjin hadn’t dated yet, however, she wouldn’t be surprised. That worldwide handsome face constantly attracted people.

And Jeon Jungkook?

He had the bad boy look, but never got close to anyone. He flirted, relentlessly, but always backed out when it got serious. All that looked pretty damn serious to Yoonji, though. That was good. Right?

Except.

It was early evening, but Yoonji felt strangely cold.

Shouldn’t I be happy for him? What’s wrong with me?

“Eh?!”

The gasp cut through her thoughts and she jumped back, startled, snapping her head up to…

Oh.

“Min Yoonji?”

Oh, shit.

Her lips were moving. Nothing was coming out. That was very unlike herself, what is wrong with me, her cheeks blaringly warm, and Yoonji finally got her name out, bluntly, instinctively tipping her head in respectful greeting while also feeling the dire need to hide her face.

“Oh, shit, my bad. I freaked you out, huh? Sorry. I didn’t expect to see you on the other side of the bus stop. Did you only just get here? Jungkook already went inside,” the woman was saying, and Yoonji found she couldn’t look her in the face for some reason.

I know. I mean, what?

“Sorry, again. Uh. You’re standing in front of the schedule. Huh. Looks like there’s a delay.”

What the fuck is wrong with me?

“My bad,” Yoonji quickly mumbled, sliding to the side. “You came here with Jungkook again, huh?”

A pause.

Why did I say it like that? Yoonji winced, resisting the urge to slap some common sense into herself. She lifted her head, realizing the way her tone must have sounded, searching for the woman’s expression under the brim of the cap. Something flitted over those features. As soon as it was faintly visible, the unknown emotion was gone, replaced by a faint smile. Wisps of wild hair casted shadows over those cheekbones due to the oncoming sunset. People were rushing past. Conversations, purposes, desires, but suddenly all Yoonji could see was the endless darkness of those scorched eyes framed by smoked lashes.

“Do you like Jungkook romantically, by chance?”

What!

“No!”

The word shot out of her mouth with such force that Yoonji backed up, shocked at her own reaction. The other woman looked taken aback, tilting her head, and there was no way to save this situation, stuck, frozen in this mortifying moment, completely forgetting her previous engagement.

Those plush pink lips looked like they had been kissed all night.

By Jungkook?

A sting dug deep into Yoonji’s heart.

“Oh, I thought…” An awkward laugh, and the woman readjusted the black strap of her bag over her chest. “I got the impression you didn’t like me because I’ve been stopping by with Jungkook lately. My bad. Didn’t mean to ask so bluntly like that. It was on my mind, though. I should get going. Have a good evening, then.”

A gentle wave.

A turn.

And before she knew what she was doing, Yoonji reached out and grabbed that denim sleeve.

“Wait.”

Those scorched eyes full of shadows returned and she found herself breathless at the sight of them.

She had to force herself to speak.

“You should come bowling with us. I’m always the only girl. It would be nice if…”

The goosebumps danced all over her skin. It was like asking someone out of a first date, except this person actually made her nervous and there was going to be a bunch of other people there, including the one was she probably actually dating.

“Would be nice if you hung out with us too, sometimes.”

Yoonji knew she should have added, Jungkook would be happy to see you. She didn’t for some reason. No, she knew the reason, but she bit back those thoughts and let go of that sleeve, not wanting to be too pushy about it. Chewed on her lip, peeling away at dry skin. The other woman seemed to contemplate for a second and shrugged, chuckling.

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll go with you.”

It was at this moment that Yoonji knew.

She fucked up.

Too late now.

-

It wasn’t that bad.

There was some confusion, yes. Introductions, casual banter. Yoonji noticed that Jungkook seemed both surprised and a little hurt. What for? But then the woman went to stand next to him and whispered in his ear. He seemed much more satisfied after that. Yoonji busied herself with paying and picking out the right size for her bowling shoes. It was dark in here. Minors were no longer allowed since the bar was opening. The alleys were lit up with scattered color. Mood lighting. Jungkook loved that shit.

Yoonji noticed that they didn’t hold hands.

Interesting.

The women paid and was handed the beige and black bowling shoes. Their group was smaller today, just Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook, and Seokjin. Honestly, Yoonji would have dropped out if Seokjin wasn’t coming with. The other three were younger and they were noisy. Kim Seokjin was loud as fuck too, but he was reasonable and matched Yoonji’s energy when she was feeling drained of the other three. The woman was chatting with Seokjin. They seemed to know each other to some extent. Why does everyone seem to know you but me? That wasn’t a fair assessment. Taehyung and Jimin were jostling Jungkook around, teasing him probably. They didn’t seem as familiar with her.

Hm.

The next notable moment was when they were sitting down and changing shoes. Yoonji glanced over, seeing her unzip her boots. Normal. Shifting line of vision. The hem of that tight dress was hiking up those soft thighs. Well, she hadn’t dressed to go bowling, after all.

Yoonji paused, wondering if she should say something.

Then, all of a sudden, Jungkook’s jean-covered butt was blocking her vision.

Hey!

Clicked her tongue, busying herself with the shoes. He didn’t have to do that. Nothing was happening here. The music was so loud that Yoonji found she couldn’t hear their conversation. Annoying. Until…

“Oh! You have Gengar socks!”

“They’re cute! Is Gengar wearing a pumpkin? Haha, it’s not Halloween though!” Taehyung was laughing.

“Aw, who cares.? You can’t see them anyway,” Jungkook’s lady was chuckling, yanking on the bowling shoes. “It’s Halloween every day in my heart.”

“I didn’t know you liked cute stuff, noona,” Jimin teased. “You seem so tough, but you’re a big softie, huh? Of course, you must be if you like our Jungkookie!”

“Bleh, shush,” came the exasperated sigh and hand wave. “The real tough one is Seokjinnie over here for putting up with you guys.”

Yoonji frowned. The two of them must be somewhat familiar for her to address Seokjin with such familiarity. It came up in conversation later, after a few strikes and pleas with a higher power to give Jimin better aim (no higher power answered but Taehyung did accidentally bowl for Jimin, uh huh). Apparently, Seokjin and Jungkook’s friend had met online through an online team-based game. Yoonji didn’t play video games because she wasn’t good at them. At least, compared to her friends. She was fine with watching though.

“You’re doing great today. You must have eaten something good.”

Yoonji gave Seokjin the side-eye. “Or maybe you’ve gotten worse. Online video games aren’t the same as a physical sport.”

“Hey! It’s all hand-eye coordination. Same, same!”

“At this rate, even Jimin will overtake you.”

Seokjin’s handsome face twisted in indignation. He had the kind of facial features that were model-envy if he wasn’t contorting them to some ridiculous expression. Like right now. “He cheated and made Taehyung bowl for him!”

“I did not!”

“Oh, really?”

She ignored their squabbling, only to freeze up once she realized who was sitting next to her.

“I’m pretty sure I’m doing the worst right now,” came the wry chuckle. “Thankfully, Jungkook shielded my pride and typed in Gengar instead of my name.”

“You’re doing okay,” Yoonji said quietly, glimpsing to her left. She caught the scent of something warm and tangy. Perfume.

O… Oh.

“That’s very nice of you to say, but I’m fifty points behind Jimin.” A sigh. “I think it’s my manicure. I should cut my nails a bit. They’ll grow back.”

Then, much to Yoonji’s surprise, the woman leaned over and unzipped her bag, moving things around.

“W-Wait, really?” Turned and she really was pulling out a small silver nail clipper and a cerulean blue glass nail file. “It’s just a bowling game. It’s not that serious.”

The other woman craned her head and lined up her the nail of her middle finger with the clipper. “Yeah, but I’m not really trying,” she was saying. Snip! “I don’t really like that. if I’m gonna lose, I should at least lose trying my best.”

Yoonji watched in stunned fascination as the woman trimmed down her black cherry manicure on three nails on what seemed to be her dominant hand. Middle finger, ring finger, and thumb. Only those. She left the index and pinky in their pointed almond shape. She held up her hand after, graceful fingers spread out.

O-Oh.

“I… I’m going to the bathroom for a sec.”

“Oh, okay, I’ll–”

But Yoonji didn’t stop to listen, walking away quickly, quickly, into the women’s bathroom and closing the stall door, doing nothing but immediately pinning her back to the door and exhaling hard. Ragged. Rough. What is wrong with me? She knew what was wrong. Yoonji placed her palms over her mouth and forced out another breath. There was flushing and water splashing and currently popular pop music drowning out the more unpleasant noises, but Yoonji was too busy trying to calm down the screaming in her head. This was bad. This was really bad. She had watched enough girl-on-girl porn to know… No. Obviously, Jungkook’s friend was going to clip the nails of her middle and ring finger. Those were the ones to hold the bowling ball. There was nothing more to it.

Just a coincidence.

Don’t be delusional.

This would be much easier if it was a man. Yoonji knew how to be cool and calm when it came to guys. Besides, the male mindset was too airheaded to pick up on subtlety anyway. But, what if a woman could…? She had already caught on to Yoonji acting weird earlier. Even thought she had romantic feelings with Jungkook. Pfft. Absurd. That kid was grown up now, but he was still only a bright-eyed eager bunny. No amount of tattoos or piercings would ever turn Jeon Jungkook from prey to predator, although he could look the part with enough working out. Jungkook was certainly her type when it came to looks but as far as personality, Yoonji was sure she would be worn out by Jungkook.

Wait.

Yoonji froze.

What?

She pushed her hair back. Another tick that happened due to her nervousness. Ha. Haha. I did not just think that about Jeon Jungkook. No. No, no, she was simply confused. That was all. Confused and working though who-the-fuck-knows-what. No. This had to stop. You have to compartmentalize this shit. This couldn’t keep happening. Stop acting weird. Pull yourself together. When it came down to it, Yoonji had to step out of this stall and chill the fuck out.

She couldn’t let it show.

Nobody is stopping you from getting off to her later.

Yoonji told her brain to shut up and left the stall.

-

Once their bowling game was over, the adults moved on to bigger and better things.

“You want the Gengar, right?”

“I don’t want anything. I don’t trust these things. Don’t waste your money.”

“Don’t be like that, noona. She totally wants the Gengar,” Taehyung talked over her, shoving in tokens so Jungkook could attempt the claw machine. Jimin stood at the far corner of the machine and pointed animatedly, calling to move a little more left, no, right, no, back more. Seokjin snorted at him to shut up. Yoonji watched as Jungkook failed, his broad shoulders dropping heavily as the round bright purple plush slid out of the metal claw and plopped back into the mound of colorful plushies, face-first onto its teasing red eyes and big grin.

“One more time,” Jungkook insisted.

“You don’t–”

She watched the younger man turn to the woman and pull a big pout. There was an exchanged glance between them. A muscle in Yoonji’s face twitched. This had been Jungkook’s third time trying to get something from the claw machine. Their group was crammed in a corner of the arcade in the bowling alley, a couple drinks in, squabbling for a damn Gengar plush for their newcomer. It wasn’t the situation that was bothering Yoonji, but rather how adamant Jungkook was that it had to be him winning it.

This guy is so freaking annoying.

Yoonji reached between their bodies and jammed her own tokens in.

“Go ahead, then.”

She shoved Jungkook’s shoulder and broke the shared gaze between him and his lady friend. Jungkook snapped his head to the machine, startled as the lights flashed and the red timer came on, letting out a surprised yelp as he fought to move the clunky claw back to the faceplanted Gengar.

He had never tried so hard before for his other friends.

Hmph.

“Oh, shit! YAH!”

“LET’S GOOOOOOO!”

“Taehyung, stop yelling!”

“Well, shit. You did it.”

“I told you I would,” Jungkook roared triumphantly, yanking out the purple Pokémon plush and holding it up like a prestigious award. “Da-dang!”

“Fourth time’s a charm?” she laughed as Jungkook grabbed her hands and spun them palm up to delicately rest the incredibly round Gengar plush on them. Yoonji noticed he didn’t linger and pulled away quickly. “Thank you, then, haha.”

Seokjin, Jimin, and Taehyung were acting like Jungkook had just won a damn rice cooker on a prestigious game show, crowding around him and giving him high fives. Yoonji shook her head, glad it was over, and felt a hand on her shoulder. Froze as she looked up to scorched eyes twinkling brightly in neon lights of the arcade machines.

“Here. Sorry you had to use your tokens for me.”

Yoonji tried to push back to the coins suddenly placed in her palm. “No, it’s fine, I don’t–”

“I wouldn’t want to owe you.”

“I–”

Then she froze, realizing her hands were clasped around the other woman’s right. Holding the Gengar plush in her left, tucked underneath her breasts. The naughtily cheerful grin was aimed straight at Yoonji, silently laughing as if it had seen and knew everything. Before she could react, a handful of coins was dumped in her palm and her fingers were closed around it, pinned by a dark cherry manicure. Middle, ring, and thumb trimmed short.

Her heartbeat shot up to her throat.

“Yoonji-noona, come play this one with me!”

Her head snapped up. The other woman smiled at her calmly. Park Jimin grabbed Yoonji’s sleeve and dragged her to a racing game. That didn’t mean anything. It didn’t. I wouldn’t want to owe you. Why not? What was wrong with her? What was so much better about dork-ass Jeon Jungkook who was sucked into playing Tekken versus Kim Taehyung without a second thought? The other woman turned away and went to stand behind Jungkook, next to their consistent heckler Kim Seokjin, still holding onto the Gengar plush. Yoonji turned to sit down next to Jimin, suddenly mad she didn’t think of the claw machine first, why, she could have done it in less tries, she was sure of it.

“You alright?”

“What?” she snapped.

Jimin raised his eyebrows at her. Yoonji stilled. Somehow, Jimin always knew something was up. Oh, he did care if his friends were having a hard time. He also low-key lived for drama. High-key, even. He was a sneaky bitch behind an innocent face. Instead of answering, Yoonji jammed tokens into the machine, both for Jimin and herself, and cocked her eyebrow back at his suspicious, searching expression, placing her hands on the steering wheel.

“I’m gonna smoke ya,” she declared.

“I haven’t yet – HEY!”

Yoonji absolutely demolished him in the virtual race. Twice. Get rekt, Jimin-ah.

-

Sulky.

Well, no. Not really.

A little bit.

Ugh, fine.

Min Yoonji silently admitted she was sulky.

Just trying to figure out what was so great about Jeon Jungkook. She flicked through his Instagram, not impressed. It was a pretty dead account, as Jungkook had been very into keeping an aesthetic layout for a few months and then promptly abandoned the account when he got tired of it. He had commitment issues. The aesthetic he had chosen was the digital photo, found film vibe that had been popular when the kid was literally in elementary school and probably had no idea what social media even was. His TikTok was somewhat similar, with lots of effects and editing in the short videos. Also mostly abandoned, although Yoonji suspected his accounts were more for lurking and liking stuff than displaying himself.

Jungkook had a few candid, artsy photos of him shirtless that Yoonji wished she hadn’t seen.

Hah, why post that if you can’t even provide a decent picture?

She found that she was lingering on a side profile photo of him for a few seconds. Black and white. Ghost of a smile on his lips and his short black hair messily over his crinkled eyes. From this angle, one could see the definition of his jaw and the mole on his neck, plus the three piercings on his left ear. His shoulder was bare, a medium-weight linked chain loosely hanging on his neck.

Abruptly, Yoonji swiped away.

He doesn’t have a single photo of her on here.

There were occasional photos that included Jimin and Taehyung, (including one of Jimin’s hand photobombing a seriously poised Taehyung, Yoonji could recognize that tiny pinky anywhere), but not really anyone else. This didn’t surprise Yoonji too much, as over half of the photos were scenery shots, but surely a photo of a pretty woman would get likes? She frowned, then froze. There was a reel posted way down there, towards the beginning of the account’s creation. At first, it hadn’t caught her attention since the photo was a black screen, but then she clicked on it and listened to the audio. It was someone playing guitar.

But not just anyone.

After about ten seconds of black screen, the camera lifted from its spot and it showed Min Yoonji several years ago, leaning over a black acoustic guitar, playing a melody she had made up on the spot. She remembered that night. She had been at Kim Namjoon’s house, they had gotten drunk, and Jeon Jungkook had shown up at three in the morning for who-the-hell-knows-what reason. She had brought her guitar that night on a low-key depressed whim. Namjoon dabbled in music too, sometimes, not just produced it, so Yoonji occasionally brought her guitar to play for fun. They were longtime friends.

She hadn’t noticed that Jungkook had filmed her.

The caption read, music that makes you fall in love.

“… What?”

It had startled her so much that she hadn’t even realized she spoke out loud.

Ah, what was she thinking? This was years ago. Past was in the past. There wasn’t anything else interesting on here. Funnily enough, the specific melody Jungkook had complimented, Yoonji had turned into a breakup song. Sure, she had never really published her music past her SoundCloud, but she still made songs for fun even though she wasn’t trying to become an idol or anything of the sort. Would be cool to be a producer though.

It was only a damn reel.

There was no serendipitous shit going on here.

Yoonji rubbed her eyes. They were close, yes. Jungkook often came to her for practical life advice when Namjoon was a bit too philosophical. His words, although Yoonji could agree. She was known as the pragmatic one in the group. Something she learned in therapy, actually. Focusing on what could be done right now instead of fixating on the what-ifs of the future. The youngest did exasperate her sometimes, however it was an endearing kind of exasperation that she welcomed. He, unlike some other young people, expressed his gratitude often.

He called her cute often, too.

Not that… Not that other people didn’t. Hoseok did all the time. Well, Yoonji did go to Hoseok a lot for outfit opinions when she had an occasion. Jungkook also expressed skinship, usually resting his head on Yoonji’s shoulder or putting a hand on her back, even though he didn’t usually imitate with other people. Physical touch was not something Yoonji liked. She tolerated it if it was Jungkook, but he really hadn’t been touchy since…

Wait.

Why the fuck was she thinking about Jungkook?

This ain’t about you!

Right. So, anyway, since Jungkook had started seeing this woman, he hadn’t posted her on his social media, hadn’t initiated physical touch with Yoonji, and expressed neediness when the two were alone but treated the lady like a friend when in front of his friends. He didn’t even invite her to their gatherings despite having many opportunities, yet also specifically made them all wait for him to win her a plush prize that directly related with her interests.

Which all equated to Jeon Jungkook sending the most confusing batch of mixed signals Yoonji had ever analyzed.

A muscle in her face twitched.

Yoonji chewed on her lip. She wondered if she should scroll through those Jungkook was following to maybe find the woman’s account. Was that going too far? Sure, social media profiles were generally public, but actively looking for someone for dubious reasons seemed wrong. Not that her reasons were dubious.

Right.

She looked back to her phone screen.

It was somehow displaying a photo of Jungkook’s naked back. Again, black and white. Standing in a gym. The background was slightly blurred, but the hint of Jungkook’s toned front was unmistakable. Yoonji frowned and swiped it away, scrolling distractedly. She didn’t think about him like that. He was a dork. The woman he was dating was smoking hot. Were they dating, though? That was the whole point of this investigation. For fuck’s sake. Although Jungkook gave the impression he was a playboy, Yoonji knew he wasn’t. He didn’t have the damn attention span to be a player and he was obviously scared of hurting other people’s feelings. Still, there weren’t any telltale signs of them dating-dating. Which shouldn’t bother Yoonji anyway, because she didn’t get involved in her friend’s dating lives, so why the fuck did she care?

Plus, she’s probably straight.

Jungkook was a pretty manly man.

But what if she’s not?

There was literally nothing Yoonji could work off of in that regard except for the look in those dark scorched eyes when she closed her hand around Yoonji’s hand, holding her tight and within direct eye contact. There was literally not a single reason for her to believe that look meant anything other than what was said.

And yet.

I’m being delusional.

Jungkook and her looked good together. Yeah. They were probably gonna work out. Uh huh. It was just rough for her because this was one of the first few real moments that Yoonji felt strongly attracted to someone outside of purely sexual reasons.

Woah.

Woah, hold on there.

She knew for a fact she liked women sexually. Her porn history was enough evidence of that. She had been attracted to women she had met over the years, sure, but never had Yoonji pursued a woman, both because of the social stigma and also because she figured only doing it for the sexual desire seemed wrong. If anyone found out, Yoonji didn’t want to feel like it was for nothing.

So why am I stalking Jungkook on Instagram just for a glimpse of her?

And Yoonji couldn’t like her. She barely knew her. Right? They couldn’t have developed any emotional connection in their very minimal interactions. Yoonji placed her phone down, backing away from it like it was a bomb. These impulses… She couldn’t stop thinking about the woman holding the Gengar next to her chest. Couldn’t stop thinking about Jungkook dancing her around on the sidewalk. Couldn’t stop thinking about the woman casually eating her dessert in the park as if she owned the whole damn world.

Did Yoonji want to be her?

Or did she want to be with her?

Yoonji hadn’t allowed herself to fantasize yet because fantasizing about a real person felt much more abhorrent than a total stranger. It was a door she couldn’t bear to open yet. And, worse.

She didn’t know if she could stop if she started.

-

ep 2. what a shame. (see you friday) sugar, spice, and everything nice

--

min yoonji masterpost | masterpost

[reallyromealone]

i want to request a part 2 to the bonten cheating on reader for a 2nd time where the reader leaves them. it can either be angst or not. whatever you choose i just want to see any ending because it was really good 😭. just to refresh your memory of which one i’m talking about the ending says “if you actually mean it were al going to therapy” or something along those lines. Thank you

Fun fact, I couldn't find this fic for like five minutes till I went to my notes where I write and realized it was an event lmao

(name) sat on a chair as his alphas sat on the couches away from him, the therapist calm and collected as they stared at the large pack "we can start whenever you're ready"

"They lied and cheated and betrayed my trust" (name) said bluntly, arms crossed and not even looking at his mates "they broke the basic rule of our relationship not once but twice"

"I gave them an ultimatum, come here to therapy so we can figure out why they can't keep their dicks where they belong or I leave" (name) said seething, his ring finger bare and scent patches on his neck.

"I see, well thank you for sharing (name), I understand how this can be difficult for you" the therapist said calmly and turned to the alphas "and how are you all feeling about the situation" they asked calmly and Bonten was silent, not wanting to talk to the therapist but when (name) gave them a look to say 'fucking try me' Kakucho was the first to open up "It feels like shit"

"Could you elaborate?"

"We know we did something fucking awful, not once but twice" he said softly "we didn't deserve the first forgiveness and we definitely don't deserve this, I am honestly surprised (name) didn't go full no contact with us...he's not even staying with us anymore"

"I see, do any of you wish to share anything you feel? Remember this is a judgment free space and confidential"

Besides Kakucho, the rest of Bonten were pretty tight lipped about their feelings and after five minutes of silence (name) sighed annoyed "well this was fun, maybe next session you guys can learn the gravity of this"

Last night (name) learned something... Terrifying.

He was pregnant.

Somewhere between the first apology and the second affair (name) got pregnant and he desperately wanted his kid to know their dads but he didn't want them to betray the pup like they did (name).

He wouldn't allow it.

Bonten felt like shit but it wasn't easy for them to open up in any capacity, their entire jobs revolved around secrets!

But (name) wasn't a job.

He was their mate.

And he deserved better.

Chifuyu was gentle with his brother, the beta wanted nothing more than to beat their asses for what they did.

But sadly this was his brother's battle.

He was on (name)s side of just leaving them but they both knew it wouldn't be that easy, they were territorial and possessive alphas after all.

But that didn't stop him, kazutora and Baji from putting together a crib and such, the three having two spare rooms as they shared one.

The two were surprisingly excited at the concept of (name) staying with them even if for sad circumstances.

"I feel like I don't deserve him" Koko said simply, hands in his lap as he continued "seriously, were awful people and he puts up with our bullshit and does shit we don't deserve without any complaints! I don't know what god we sucked off in a past life to get this lucky"

The other men made sounds of agreement as (name) sat in silence, letting them continue "he's dealt with us at our ugliest and still gave us a chance, hell he sacrificed everything for us"

"And we took it for granted" Mikey spoke up, having been silent the entire session.

"My family would be ashamed of me" the tired blond said simply.

(Name) was pleased they were talking about this, actually making an effort.

The next few sessions were separate, each person getting to talk about stuff one on one to the therapist and actually learning to work through things.

"I have something to tell you guys" (name) said softly, sitting the men down after a therapy session and they could see the nervousness on (name) "i-im pregnant" (name) said practically shaking as the men sat in silence.

"When did you find out?"

"A week after you guys cheated the second time" (name) said staring at his hands and Bonten felt their heart break, they really didn't fucking deserve him and they knew he was probably debating on even telling them.

They should have been angry but the therapy made them understand that (name) didn't trust them at all anymore.

It also helped them understand their feelings and that there's serious shit they need to work on.

"If... If you guys improve by the ninth month... I will consider moving back here"

(Name) would be a dirty liar if he said he didn't miss the touch of his mates, cuddles and sleepy hugs.

But he wasn't a fool and he wasn't going to forgive them like that.

But he wanted what's best for his pup.

"We promise--we will do our best to be good enough for you"

[sam24]

Hearts on Ice (1/2)

Summary: You absolutely loved shadowing at Dr. Framer's physical therapy clinic. Except for whenever Bucky Barnes, injured star hockey player, came in for his 4:30 appointments. 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

enemies to lovers | college au | athlete bucky

part two

*****

“Ow.”

“That did not hurt.”

“What if it did, huh?”

“Then you’re a wuss.”

Bucky Barnes cried as he clenched his chest dramatically with a pained expression. “Oh heavens, I’m a wuss according to the wussiest girl alive, whatever shall I do?”

“How about sitting still for starters?” You rolled your eyes.

“I only sit still for people that are actually doctors,” Bucky said matter-of-factly. “Not for little college girls who’ll do anything to make their résumé look a little less pathetic.”

“I’ll let you know that I actually love shadowing here, not just for the resumé, thanks.” You narrowed your eyes at him, pushing his knee into his chest with an extra shove for good measure (not enough to injure him more, of course.)

“Oh, so you love tenderly massaging my knee every Wednesday for an hour?” Bucky raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“When have I ever had to tenderly massage your knee during a session?” You made a face. “And if I have, I am extremely grateful that I lost that memory.”

“ Right, my bad, must have been that other girl who shadows here during my Sunday appointments. You know, the pretty blonde one who’s much hotter than you.”

“Hotter than me? Impossible.”

“Please,” Bucky snorted. “You are the most mediocre girl I have ever met.”

“Wow, Barnes,” You smiled wide at him. “You certainly know how to win a girl’s heart, don’t you?”

“Keep your heart, Dr. Mediocrity, I don’t want it.”

You ignored him. “Let’s try this new exercise. It should build balance and stability on your bad knee.”

“As you wish. Impress me with your astounding lack of skill. Maybe one day, you’ll reach the lofty heights of acceptable.”

“And maybe one day, you’ll learn to keep your mouth shut. Until Dr. Framer gets back, enjoy my mediocre expertise, Barnes.”

🎕

“LET’S GO PIETRO! SHOW ‘EM HOW IT’S DONE!”

You joined in with Wanda’s enthusiastic scream, teeth slightly chattering from a mixture of the cold air and the excitement of the game.

The roar of the crowd blended seamlessly with the rhythmic scraping of blades against the ice, and the loud cheers reverberated against the cold walls of the arena. The stadium pulsated with the hollers of extremely loud frat boys, and you and Natasha cheered loudly along with Wanda.

You looked around a little, trying to spot the injured Bucky Barnes, but he was nowhere to be found.

“Where’s Bucky Barnes?” You heard the girl behind you ask out loud, having the same thoughts as you.

“He’s injured, silly. He’s not playing,” Her friend replied with a giggle.

“Yeah, I know that,” The girl rolled her eyes. “But where is he? He’s so fucking hot, I need to see my daily eye candy.”

You rolled your eyes so hard they might’ve done a full 360.

Sure, Bucky was objectively good-looking, and sure he had a nice jawline and cheekbones, and sure, he was built like a Greek god, and sure, you might have had a big fat crush on him in the past, but in reality, he was just an annoying pain in the ass.

Yeah, you knew you weren’t the hottest person in the world, but it certainly wasn’t helping your ego to literally be called “mediocre” repeatedly by the most sought after boy at NYU.

Your Bucky-hating-monologue was soon interrupted by the ringing of your phone.

“Hey, I need a favor.”

10 minutes later, you were trudging to the concession stands, silently cursing out Maria in your head. She had pulled the classic “I need someone to cover for me”, which roughly translated to “I want to sneak away for a make out session with my girlfriend.”

You sighed, desperately hoping for a miracle that you’d be paired with someone nice, tolerable at the least.

You were utterly wrong.

As soon as you turned the corner, you scowled. You could recognize those annoyingly muscular broad shoulders anywhere.

“Oh, fuck me,” You muttered under your breath.

Bucky looked up from his phone, surprise lighting up on his face, but he quickly hit you with a cheeky smile. “Hey there, PT girl. Craving a snack, are we?” He leaned back with a lazy stretch. “Lucky for you, you just stumbled upon one.”

“Well aren’t you just hilarious, how long did it take you to think of that one?” You took the chair next to him, making a point of scooting it far away from him before sitting down. “But no, I’m covering for Maria.”

“So I’m stuck with you until Maria gets back?” Bucky grimaced. “Fantastic.”

“Well I’m not exactly throwing a party over here either, Barnes,” You huffed.

“Speaking of parties, you going to the one after the game?” Bucky looked at you with a glint in his eyes. “Actually, never mind, you won’t. You’re too much of a goody two shoes.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Actually, I was planning on coming.”

“Really?” Bucky blew an eyelash. “Someone on the team invited you to the party?”

“Don’t sound so shocked.” You sneered.

“Well who is it then?” Bucky raised his eyebrows, slightly leaning in closer.

“What’s it to you?” You shot him a sickeningly sweet smile. “Jealous?”

“Please,” Bucky straightened his shoulders and looked away quickly. “Just wanna warn the poor fella.”

“Aw, how sweet.” You pouted sarcastically. “But no need to warn him, it was just Pietro.”

“Oh.”

Was that a slight scowl on his face? He leaned back into his chair, and it seemed like the playful mood went out the window. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. Men and their damn mood swings.

After a bit of silence, Bucky grumbled something out. “Is he your boyfriend or something?”

You arched an eyebrow, taking in his grim expression. You decided not to tease him this time. “No, absolutely not. He’s my best friend’s brother, so he’s like a brother to me too now.”

Bucky looked over through the corner of his eye, and you could’ve sworn something lit up on his face.

Or it was just you being delusional. Probably the latter.

“So do you get asked out to parties by all your friends’ brothers, or just this one?” Bucky smirked.

Apparently his brooding period was over.

“There was no ‘asking out’ involved, stupid.” You rolled your eyes. “He just said that there was a party after the game, and to come if I wanted.”

“If you wanted, huh?” Bucky feigned a swoon. “What a consensual king.”

“Consensual? Wow sweetie, such big words you’re using!” You shot back with a faux impressed expression.

Bucky chuckled. “Well, you know, I like keeping it classy. Unlike some people.” He gestured towards you.

“Yes of course. Bucky Barnes, the epitome of class and perfection, using big boy words like ‘consensual’. I’m honored to be in your presence.”

He bowed dramatically. “Yes, you should be. It’s not everyday you’re graced by this charm and wit.”

Before you could retort back, an annoyingly high-pitched voice interrupted.

“Hey, Buck.” The girl laid her chest on the counter strategically so her boobs were placed directly in Bucky’s eyeline.

You recognized her as the girl sitting behind you in the stands earlier, the one talking about her ‘Bucky eye candy’ and what not.

“Sup, Stacey,” Bucky nodded, seemingly not noticing the literal set of boobs in his face.

She frowned, and you almost felt pity for the girl. Almost.

Her friend next to her giggled. “How’s your knee doing, tough guy.”

“Pretty good, thanks for asking, sweetheart.”

You made a face, but the girl continued giggling. “Well that’s good.”

The first girl (Stacey?) shoved her friend behind her, fighting for Bucky’s attention. “Why are you here with this girl instead of watching the game, Bucky?” She looked at you with contempt, and you glared back at her.

Bucky seemed to not notice the malice in her voice directed towards you. You didn’t expect him to notice anyways.

“Watching makes me kinda sad, because it reminds me that I can’t get out there and play with my team.” Bucky shrugged.

“Aw, my poor baby,” Both girls cooed dramatically, and Stacey reached over the counter to stroke his chest. You watched with disgust as they both acted like Bucky was the first person in the world to ever discover what it felt like to be sad.

Suddenly, Stacey made eye-contact with you. “The hell are you staring at?”

You couldn’t resist a sarcastic smile. “Just marveling at the display of empathy. It’s truly heartwarming.”

Stacey’s eyes narrowed, and her friend giggled nervously.

“Let’s go Bucky, come hang with us,” Stacey flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I still don’t understand why you’re willingly sitting with this girl.”

“I’m just making new friends, spicing it up a bit from the usual party folk,” Bucky shot her a charming smile while you shot her the exact opposite.

“Spicy, huh?” She looked you up and down. “She looks more like a bland vanilla to me.”

“Good one, Stace,” Her friend giggled.

“Yeah, Stace, good one,” You mocked. “Must’ve taken all three of your brain cells working overtime for that masterpiece.”

“C’mon Bucky,” Stacey swiveled on the heel of her Uggs back to Bucky. “You’re way out of this girl’s league, come join us.”

Bucky’s easy-going demeanor seemed to falter, and something in his eyes swished with irritation. Unless you were imagining things, Bucky seemed to scoot his chair a bit closer to yours. “I don’t remember signing up for any leagues, Stacey.”

“You know what I mean, Bucky bear,” She pouted. “Stop slumming it with whatever this is, and have fun with us.”

You bit back a snarky retort, and Bucky’s jaw clenched. “She’s a person, not a ‘whatever’. She’s my friend, and I don’t put up with people that crap on my friends.”

Since when were you and Bucky friends? Since when did he start defending you from annoying blondes? What happened to the whole hating thing you two had going on?

“You’ve changed, Bucky.” Stacey turned on her heel and stomped in, her friend closely following.

Bucky slumped back in his chair with the roll of his eyes. An awkward silence settled between you two.

“We’re friends?” You blurted out.

“Don’t get your hopes up, Doc,” Bucky smirked. “I just said that so she would get off our backs.”

“Thanks for that, by the way.”

Bucky shot you a side glance. “Don’t mention it. I’ve got a reputation to maintain, and hanging out with you is not doing wonders for it.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, yeah, wouldn’t want hockey star Bucky Barnes to be seen with the ‘bland vanilla’, right?”

“Exactly.” He winked.

Suddenly, two boys entered, clearly your age, arguing about something.

“No, you dingo, fudge M&M’s are obviously better.”

“Those taste like dirt. The peanut ones hit so hard.”

“How about we let the pretty lady decide what we should buy.” The first one pointed at you, and you looked at them in surprise as Bucky snorted.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you.” He grinned. “It’s the perfect excuse to start a conversation with a pretty girl.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath, “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

“Well since you asked so nicely, I would say fudge M&M’s are for the win.” You smiled at the boy.

“Told you, Scott.” The boy stuck his tongue out at his friend.

“Shut up, Quill. Whatever the flavor is, you’re paying anyway.”

“How much for a bag of fudge M&M’s, cutie,” The boy, who his friend called Quill, winked.

Bucky pretended to throw up all over the counter.

“Two dollars.” You ignored Bucky’s antics. Quill handed you two dollar bills, brushing your hand with his own as he did.

“Watch the hands, I don’t even know your name yet.” You raised your eyebrows playfully as Bucky shoved the M&M’s into his hand.

“It’s Peter, and behind me is Scott,” He reached out to shake your hand with a flirty smirk. “And you are?”

“Not interested,” Bucky interjected loudly.

“A bit possessive, aren’t we?” Peter arched an eyebrow.

“Nope. Just wondering why you’re still here after you’ve received your candy,” Bucky deadpanned.

“He’s right, we should get back,” Scott piped in from behind.

“Alright then,” Peter straightened his shoulders and turned back over to you. “Hopefully I’ll see you at the party later? Only if your friend here gives you permission to attend, of course.”

“We’re not friends,” Bucky barked, seemingly scooting a bit away from you.

Even though you knew that you two weren’t actually friends, it hurt a bit to hear him respond with such venom laced in his voice.

Peter, undeterred, shot you a charming smile. “Well, if you find yourself free later, swing by. I’d love to learn more about you.”

You nodded, giving a small smile. “Sure, maybe I will.”

As Peter and Scott left, a heavy silence settled between you and Bucky. The air seemed charged with unspoken tension, and you couldn’t quite decipher the emotions playing across Bucky’s face.

“So, you’re not going to the party, right?” Bucky muttered, avoiding eye contact.

You sighed, feeling a strange combination of frustration and disappointment. “Why does it matter to you? We’re not friends, remember?”

Bucky’s jaw tightened, his gaze flickering with something you couldn’t quite place. “Yeah, I remember.”

The exchange left you both in an uncomfortable silence, the unspoken feelings lingering in the air like a heavy fog. The dynamics between you and Bucky had taken an unexpected turn, and neither of you seemed quite sure how to navigate the uncharted territory.

Your phone buzzed, and you fished it out of your pocket, reading the message.

“It’s Maria,” You waved your phone. “She’s coming back.”

“Okay.”

You gritted your teeth in frustration, getting up from the chair. “Bye.”

No response.

Fine, you thought as you stomped back to your spot next to Wanda and Natasha. Be that way.

🎕

Natasha’s eyes blazed with a fierce intensity, her hand gripping yours as if to channel her frustration through the connection. “Men are stupid,” she declared, a mixture of anger and exasperation evident in her voice. “He’s got the nerve to get mad at you just because another dude was flirting with you. I’m so tired of men getting mad at women for absolutely no fucking reason.”

You nodded along, finding comfort in Natasha’s solidarity, and you laid your head on Wanda’s shoulder as your friends tried to process the breathless story you’d just told them.

“Calm down, both of you,” Wanda interjected with a soothing voice, a stark contrast to her previous loud and enthusiastic support for Pietro from just a minute ago. “Men are just bad with feelings. Trust me, I know. He’s not actually mad at you or anything, he’s obviously just got a crush on you. He just got really insecure when he saw the girl he likes being flirted with right in front of his face.”

“Bucky Barnes? Insecure of some random guy flirting with me of all people?” You shook your head. “Fat chance, Wan.”

“Stop selling yourself so short,” Natasha chided, delivering a playful kick to your foot. “You said it yourself, there was a random guy flirting with you literally 10 minutes ago.”

“He probably was blinded by Bucky’s godly radiance and it ruined his eyesight.” You snorted.

“No one needs to get blinded by ‘Bucky’s radiance’ in order to think you’re cute,” Natasha rolled her eyes, her tone a blend of sincerity and amusement.

“Men can be pretty dense when it comes to expressing their feelings,” Wanda chimed. “I doubt he even realized he was acting out of jealousy. Sometimes they just need a little shove in the right direction.”

“Does that mean I can shove his annoying butt from the top of the stands?” You quipped, a mischievous glint in your eyes.

Wanda nudged her shoulder into yours with an amused huff. “Maybe later. Go talk to him first.”

Natasha leaned in with a wicked grin. “And if talking doesn’t work, then you have my full permission to go for the shove. Sometimes actions speak louder than words.”

The three of you shared a conspiratorial laugh, the tension from earlier dissipating as you contemplated the various ways to handle the perplexing enigma that was Bucky Barnes.

“Just be honest with him about your feelings,” Wanda advised, her eyes reflecting a genuine concern. “He might be a pain, but he’s a good guy.”

“Weren’t you the one who pointed him out and told me to stay away from him when we came to their first game?” You arched your eyebrow, a hint of skepticism in your voice.

Wanda chuckled, a sheepish smile tugging on her face. “Well, yeah. But people change, you know? He’s still a pain, but he’s our pain now. And if he's acting strange, it’s for a reason.”

You sighed, grateful for your friends’ support. “Fine, fine, I’ll talk to him. But if I end up shoving him, you both are witnesses that it was for the greater good.”

Natasha mockingly saluted. “Loud and clear. Just make sure it’s a spectacular shove.”

As you stood up, Wanda called after you. “Don’t forget to tell him how you actually feel about him, don’t just play Miss Tough Girl!”

“I myself don’t know how I feel about him,” You called back, a sense of honesty laced in your words.

🎕

Bucky was literally nowhere to be found. He wasn’t at concessions anymore, he wasn’t anywhere in the crowd, and if he was in the bathroom, you definitely weren’t checking there.

You debated going back to your friends and telling them you searched everywhere (despite only looking in two places) and that you couldn’t find him, but you were sure Natasha would throw her Twizzlers at you, and then come along with you to search for him.

Sighing, you decided to make one final loop around the arena, hoping to spot the familiar mop of brown hair or a glint of his pearly white teeth. As you walked through the crowd, your mind seemed to replay the scenes from earlier. The strange emotions on his face seemed to confuse you as much as they confused him.

After a few minutes of weaving through excited hockey fans holding hot nachos, you finally spotted his sweatshirt clad elbow sticking out from around the corner, his back facing you.

As you made your way closer, almost close enough to touch him, you quickly pressed yourself against the wall, realizing there was a girl who you didn’t recognize, who was facing you. She was pressed against him, giggling repeatedly and stroking his muscles.

“So, Bucky, I heard from Stacey that you were being all buddy buddy with some random chick at the concession stands,” She fake pouted with a flirty glint in her eyes.

“Oh her?” You heard Bucky say. “Just some random girl. The only reason I talked to her was because I felt bad she had no friends. She’s kind of a nerd, you know? She’s obviously crushing on me hard.”

Your heart sank as you listened to Bucky’s words, feeling a mixture of hurt and anger. The words resonated with a sharp sting, and you steadied yourself on the wall.

In fear of Bucky seeing tears well up in your eyes as you confronted them, you decided to retreat quietly. You weren't about to show him how much his words actually had an effect on you.

“Oh, Buck, you’re so sweet, talking to the weirdos,” The girl giggled.

Turning on your heel, you walked away, the echo of their conversation fading as you distanced yourself. The arena seemed to close in on you, and you quickened your pace, trying to shake off the hurt and betrayal that threatened to consume you.

[mcyt-trios]

PROPAGANDA:

Eclipse Federation:

i dont like them. they ruined my life. Subz and Vitalasy had already partnered in previous seasons but this one, Vitalasy ended up leaving for a few months, leaving Subz alone, and Zam ended up getting close to him after immense trauma at the hands of his former teammates. Zam has done SO many wrongs, including to Subz himself and Subz STILL took him in and made him join Eclipse Federation after Zam died 14 times in a row and got banned then revived by the same player who's been killing him all this time. And it could've been perfect but no, Zam had betrayed his previous team due to them using dupes via exploits, and now Eclipse Federation ALSO has exploits! And he decided that yeah his morals were more important than being loved! And so he murders Vitalasy when he's at his most vulnerable point, lets everyone gaslight him into thinking Vitalasy is an irredeemable evil monster who will never change, even as Vitalasy SAID he was ready to change before the betrayal even happened, Eclipse threw out their whole revenge plans because of Zam's positive influence and he just broke everything. Subz couldn't be with Zam but also couldn't see himself at Vitalasy's side, leaving him alone. Vitalasy hated Zam and yet never killed him or hunted him down, despite Zam acting like he did. And when Vitalasy left, banning himself off from the server, Zam had some time alone to think and realized he fucked up SOOOO bad. And Subz revived Vitalasy and told him to kill him. And ban him. His last wish. His Deliverance. And to make up with Zam. And Vitalasy tried, and they kind of did make up over Subz's death, but then Zam was like "actually im going to kill everyone and destroy the server now. because i want subz back and also because i always do extremely drastic things when i don't need to because i have unchecked mental illnesses i refuse to get help for". And surprisingly when Subz came back he didn't like that! And they ended in tragedy! Eclipse is fucked up. It's a trio that's always about the absence of one person, it's a team that could only happen in one timeline and it was doomed from the very start. But the love was there. It made everything worse, truthfully. But it was there. And that matters. Also as a fun fact Zam himself on twitter has referred to eclipse as a throuple, which is not canon but that's pretty funny. he also stated on stream he didn't want to get therapy because it'd ruin his lifesteal character. and there was a saga where they would "marry" (challenge lost kinda shenanigans) and zam was the only one happy about it. he's not normal. there's something wrong with him. love that for him though sorry for the block of text. I really dislike them. They're my beloveds :3

Drama Trio:

they are the most insufferable trio to watch, but at the same time i can’t stop but wish for more

They are the Silliest!!! They constantly tease each other but they always have each others backs when they need to. They're each others best friends and family and they will Die if they don't annoy each other every second they are together. Baghera and Forever are siblings, Bad and Forever have some kind of Weird Queerplatonic Kind Of Romantic Thing going on, Baghera and Bad understand each other and Baghera is able to tell when Bad is feeling bad even though he Never directly tells her anything. They mean So much to me!!