#wish i could cry but i just physically Cant and i dont know why

[woozis-boy]

something physically holds me back from crying and I so badly wish I knew what it was because I need such a good cry right now :(

[phagodyke]

aouuugh my uterus......

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for slapping my mother in law?

I (27F) am married to my husband Jay (26M) and we recently had our first child Lily.

Well the pregnancy was a very very difficult one. I was throwing up every day for over six months, suffered long bouts of insomnia, developed gestational diabetes, standing up too fast made me incredibly dizzy, my entire body just constantly hurt, Lily kicked me so hard I legit had tears in my eyes (which combined with full body pain was...not pleasant) and to top it all off Lily weighed ELEVEN pounds and I tore really really badly.

Yeah...ow.

I love my daughter to death but never again. Ever.

Anyways after that literal hell of a pregnancy, I've been more or less bedbound for several weeks now while healing from that entire ordeal. Which means Jay has been taking care of pretty much everything, keeping the house clean, making food, taking care of me and Lily, etc. Its a lot I know and I wish I could do more to help but Jay has been insisting that I rest and recover and that he's got this. He's been handling everything like an absolute champ. Honestly if I didnt have him I dont know how I would be doing anything.

Well this morning Jay's parents came to visit and meet their granddaughter. So I was moved to the living room so I could introduce them to Lily and socialize a bit while Jay cooked lunch.

Now Jay's parents are very traditional. They believe that men make the money and that its the woman's job to take care of the house, the cooking, and the children.

You can probably see where this is going.

I introduce Mother in law to Lily and we get to talking. (Father in law went outside to go smoke)

Thats when mother in law asks why Jay is cooking. More importantly why Im NOT cooking. I tell her I physically cant even stand UP without help so how am I supposed to cook.

She only scoffed saying that I was just making excuses. I am very used to her bullshit by now so I just roll my eyes.

Then Lily started crying because she needed a diaper change. Mother in law tells me to go change her diaper. Again I cant even stand up by myself, much less get up to change a diaper.

I call Jay and he happily comes to get our daughter. Mother in law starts yelling, telling Jay no that I should do it because its my job. She grabs Lily and shoves her back into my arms and tells me to get up and go do it.

Jay, my wonderful angel, tried to tell her that I physically couldnt move for weeks and to mind her own damn business.

She then started yelling even more saying that I was making my husband do my job for me, calling me lazy and a slut (What that has anything to do with this? I have no idea) she went off on a complete tangent about how it was a woman's job to take care of the home and the children, that SHE managed just fine and she had five small children, that I was completely emasculating Jay, that I was a disgrace, etc.

She just kept going and going while not letting me and Jay even get a word in. Until eventually she said that my daughter will probably grow up to be a whore like I am.

I think it was a mix of pure exhaustion and hormones because somehow I managed to stand up for a moment and slap her across the face before immediately falling back on the couch.

Jay looked shocked, Mother in law looked livid. (Father in law was just watching from the doorway, equally as shocked.)

Mother in law started full on screaming, calling me every single name in the book until father in law physically dragged her out of the house by her arm.

Now hours later my phone has been blowing up with messages from my brothers and sister in laws, telling me that I was an asshole and that I had no excuse for hitting their mother.

Hell even my friends think I was in the wrong for hitting her (completely ignoring how she was yelling, calling me horrible names, in front of a newborn baby no less.)

So AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[ankiebitez]

Comfort

tags: amon x gn! reader (as far as i know), hurt/comfort kinda, implications of the mcs parents death, implications of amons parents death

note: not beta read, drabble i wrote last night bc i could sleep, probably ooc but oh well. mc is kind of just based on my own feelings so. wrote this bc amons my babygirl, posting bc there should be more for him

you were currently staying in the avisos palace for the next few days, courtesy to bael hoping to lure beelzebub back once again. despite being used as bait, bael was at least kind enough to give you your own room to stay in, though now it wasnt exactly being used.

you dont know what exactly it was, but you couldn't get your brain to shut off so you could rest. your brain was just too full of thoughts that you usually tried to suppress, but as much as you wish they'd dissappear they never seem to. instead deciding to haunt you late at night when there's nothing you can do to push them away.

after getting tired of your restlessness you decided to take a walk through the empty halls of the palace, hoping this would do to clear your mind so you could rest.

unfortunately your thoughts only seemed to echo in time with your footsteps, bouncing off the walls of your brain until it was too much to hold together anymore.

quietly you sat down by one of the windows, cracking it slightly to let the cool air hit your face that felt like it was burning up.

truly you didnt know why you were crying now of all times, you were in hell where tons of devils loved you, but you couldn't help but still feel lonely.

a hard painful lump was in your throat while you tried your best to keep quiet with your sobs and sniffles, not wanting to wake anyone. you wouldn't know how to explain why you're crying, there wasnt really a true reason, sometimes you just need it.

despite your attempts to keep quiet, the sound of foot steps came through the hall to the room you were in.

you quickly tried to wipe your face to hide any traces but there wasnt really a need as a blonde haired demon carefully entered the room.

"oh, its you... you're crying" amon thought aloud almost curiously. he had been on night patrol through the palace, making sure no one had snuck inside or if beelzebub had returned yet.

amon came closer to you by the window, a look of concern on his face. "is something wrong? are you hurt?" he asked, looking over you for any signs of physical harm.

you shook your head a bit embarrassed, though there was no hint of judgment in his eyes. "no im okay i was just having a hard time sleeping and all i guess... i dont even know why im crying its just... stuff from when i was younger and i just..." you trailed off, the painful lump in your throat and watery eyes returning.

you didn't need to finish your sentence though, amon had been told about your past already and he can understand without words how pain from years ago can still hurt just as deeply, how you can feel just as lonely.

"oh... I can keep you company if youd like" amon offered, sitting beside you and offering to hold you.

with a hesitant nod, you let amon pull you close to his chest, placing you on his lap and holding you tightly in his arms, feeling the tears continue to well up in your tired eyes despite the feeling of comfort he gave.

amon didnt let go or push you away, only holding you tighter and letting you cry into his chest as you needed.

he silently understood the way you felt, understanding the need to release pressure on these old feelings sometimes, and even though he cant make the lonely feeling dissappear, he promises to keep you company through them.

[shootingstarrfish]

Hi I wanted to ask one of my fav obey me artists this question: Least favorite to favorite characters? If you wanna say why, that'd be cool. If anything! Please have a nice day!

hii there!!! dearest anon stop being so nice you're going to make me cry AHSHDHD thank you,,, <33333

but what a fun question! for anyone who doesn't want to read my stupid long explanation for each character i will leave this tierlist here! all tiers (except the first tier) are organised by most to least liked within the tier from left to right

no i dont hate lucifer, it's just facebook relationship status (aka complicated <3)

i have plenty of opinions though so i'll go ahead and give some explanations too!! >:D under the cut because there's a lot of rambling here LOL

some of the list is a bit boring because i cant really say i hate or even dislike any characters, and i don't wanna be mean about any characters just cause they're not necessarily my favourites so!

that being said lucifer pisses me off to a comical degree and he absolutely doesn't belong at the bottom but my feelings about him are so ridiculously complicated i don't know where else he belongs? i wish so badly that i could hate him in an uncomplicated way and move on but as an eldest sibling he's such a personal attack on me and i hate it. he's me, i'm him it's horrible. every time i start to think "ahh he's not that bad" he opens his mouth and makes me regret thinking that. i still think about the time i chose to kiss him on the ferris wheel and he held his hand out after and i took it and he said it reminded him of his dead sister, i will never stop holding it against him. he deserves to be loved and taken care of and he also should be thrown off a cliff. im quite certain if i had to assign myself a sin i would pick pride and i hate it >:( (this is all very lighthearted lol)

diavolo used to viscerally annoy me for no good reason when i first started the game, but over time he's grown on me and i'd say now i'm neutral-positive on him!! no idea why i hated him, i was just very salty for no reason hahaha i've recently come to appreciate his character a lot more, im very :( about how lonely he must be and i want him to have more genuine friends please solmare

i think mephisto really is just the kind of character i need to see more of to like, he's very interesting to read character analyses of (and kinda relatable tbh?) but i just need more in game is all! i love his silly lil poses those are real fun, and he is pretty

levi is another i also used to hate out of nowhere? i was neutral on him initially and then i suddenly hated him with a burning passion until one of my friends told me she really loved him and im physically incapable of hating a character my friends love so we're chill again HAHA slowly beginning to like him though! what a pathetic sopping wet cat of a man, it's GREAT

OUUGHH i so badly wanna be able to love beel more, it hurts me to have to put him here but unfortunately this is the way it is... i think it's more accurate to say i love the idea of beel? and ive noticed i really like him everywhere that isnt the game, which again is unfortunate :,)))

LUKE IS MY SON he is babyyyyyyy that's all i have to say <333 my precious lil sonboy he deserves the whole entire world

everyone loves mammon, and i am no exception :D he's not necessarily my type hence why he's neatly placed right in the middle but ugh i love a guy who tries and fails miserably to act tough but is super sweet inside, what a guy <3 ok i flip flopped between putting satan and simeon in the love tier because i am so very fond of both of them, but that's too many characters up there so imagine they're both in a weird tier purgatory between the 2 LOL

i am in fact going to marry simeon and then we will raise luke together it's a fact simeon is everything he's pretty and beautiful and a very complex and interesting character ahhh

SATAN MY LOVE he's a very interesting case to me in that i feel on paper he should be the kind of character who would be on the top of the list! he's smart and kind and unhinged and would kill for you and he likes cats!!! truly husband material i adore him

im going to marry thirteen, thanks for listening to my ted talk <3 my darling beautiful wife who would laugh hysterically if i fell down the stairs i love u thirteen <3333333 we will be wed tomorrow and we will live the dream in her silly lil cave of pranks and curses

i dont know what it is about raphael but i adore him??? is it the wet kitten swag? the done with life expression? his ridiculous outfit? i couldnt tell you but i saw him for the first time and i was immediately obsessed everything i learn about him just makes me more obsessed, i love the fact that he enjoys solomons cooking, the way he's good at sewing and is kind but kinda scary, what a fun character

i could talk endlessly about solomon oh how i love this silly househusband wizard guy i was pretty neutral on him in the og game, and then he swiftly stole my heart in nightbringer and now i would eat his terrible cooking any day of the week just to see him smile <3 if i die seeing him happy that's probably the best way to go out all his calls and messages are sooo cute and they make me melt im in love please just one chance...

barbatos and solomon are typically equal on the list i'd say? but the barbatos brainrot is hitting harder now so he gets to be ever so slightly higher this once hahaha barbs is another that took a while to grow on me, not that i ever disliked him or anything but i definitely overlooked him at first! design wise i absolutely LOVE him, his demon form is definitely one of my absolute favourites. the unique but still put together suit?? the ruffles?? the bone wing horns?? ugh he's just very pretty, and SO interesting as well love a calm collected guy who totally has the potential to destroy you if he so wishes but has a soft spot for you

and of course, real shocker im sure, at the tippy top of the list would be asmo and belphie my beloveds <333 i love them both equally and i could never put one above the other i actually started playing obey me for belphie because one of my favourite character tropes is The Tired One TM, and im absolutely not immune to a cute emo boy either. i've grown to really love his sass and the way he hides his manipulative nature behind his sweet and innocent appearance hehe i also do love how ridiculously forward and blunt he is at times, what a silly guy while belphie was very predictable, asmo was a very out of nowhere character for me! i distinctly remember seeing him initially and thinking "avatar of lust?? i guess he's pretty but he'll probably just be the fuckboy character who makes nonstop innuendos and has no character beyond that, and i'm too asexual for this" so i avoided him a lot at first, but i'm very weak for how kind and gentle and charismatic he is, and the way he puts his all into everything and everyone <333 it didnt take long for me to realise that he's almost exactly the kind of person i aspire to be more like

also miura ayme gives me so much gender envy its not fair send tweet

[boltun-tr]

this video

it opened my eyes so much more

what the FUCK is even a “strong female character”? because it can be so subjective, it can be so many things, when people say cinderella sucks or snow white and ariel etc is because theyre cute and feminine and kind or do mistakes, especially so called “feminists” say this because being kind and feminine is seen as weak, wich is a another can of worms that can be opened

snow white expreiences fear and terror after being told her stepmother wants her DEAD,she isnt a person who physically fights back but if you watch the damn movie, you can see she knows when she is mistreated, she can be sarcasitc too, even after years of abuse she tries to keep her head up, also please thats a 14 year old girl, i was even more timid than her at that age, being positive despite your situation doesnt make you weak, its a strength, if you was a woman or girl want to dress feminine, then go for it, if you enjoy it why should it be a bad thing? if you want to look masculine then go for it too

what i said about snow white also goes for cinderella, they have similarities so i would just repeat myself

then lara, she has a tomboy side but also has a feminine side,then her goals being very simple but relatable, just like the princesses, she herself does mistakes, does things because she has her own hopes and dreams,im so tired of this bad faith criticism, if you want to criticise them, then u know, watche the movies, play the fucking games

im not gonna talk about the live action remakes this post would be longer, but lemme tell ya, these movies did exactlyyy listen to the bad faith shit, its like crystal dynamics did the same

“if youre not a absolute girl boss and dare to have have flaws and cry alot then sorry sweaty you suck as a human being” fuck off

so yea, i guess just make sure you have fun and are passionate with how you write your character, your female character doesnt suck just because she is kind and feminine, or a tomboy, or very masculine and muscular, or if she is emotional, or does mistakes, bitch i WANT TO SEE THAT IN FACT, i love when a character does mistakes, it makes me feel seen lmaoooo, a character can be a loser, not everything needs to be a superhero or something i dont give a fuck

there cant be a direct answer to this,what makes a character empowered, at least i dont see it, can be fucking anything, i wish i could add more but thats my two cents, this is in my drafs for years lmao and now im just typing out how i feel

i guess it means in short, if you have human flaws, emotions and do mistakes then youre a bad character? PLUS being cutesy and feminine? then the issue mostly being bad faith and lazy ass criticism, nuance is also something that lacks most of the time, i guess i get it now

dude my brain broke

my fave princess is snow white btw and i will defend her 1938 version, thanks for reading this mess LMAOOO

[herboretum]

big ol text abt me being aroace so🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅ow oka🍅🍅🍅🍅y i get it i know 🍅🍅🍅🍅ow I Talk so much abt being aroace🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 i prmise this is the last🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 time 🍅🍅🍅🍅DAMN okay CHILL🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅read if u wanna 🍅🍅🍅ow OW!!!!!!🍅

ough man sometimes i wish i wasnt aroacespec for the sake of my own wellbeing yanno,,,,,,

its been physically paining me (since the start of the year realistically) knowing im incapable of loving another person romantically, of being unable to feel that passion for someone the way devoted partners would for their other half

it makes (and has made) me cry knowing i wont have that connection probably ever! that i just. cant love on that level! it kills me, genuinely, just not being able to have those moments where i can lean all my trust to one person, to have moments of vulnerability with someone. to be able to have lovesick days or gaze into their eyes or be able to simply reciprocate an "i love you" that they know is more than that simple statement. it fucking kills me man it makes me sick to my stomach

i dont know why. i never chose to be like this!!!! why couldnt i just be normal man!!! theres nothing wrong with me yet theres everything that could have been better! sometimes i get so jealous of people i know who are in really loving relationships. how they can just ramble on about how they love their partner to their core, that every imperfection they see is a beauty to behold. why cant i experience that? like genuinely what the fuck happened with me??

i feel like nobody ever talks about how alienating being aroace can sometimes feel. i feel like what im experiencing should not exist. im aroace not because i chose to be, but because i simply am, and i really hate that about me. theres so many people celebrating and while i can relate sometimes, i also feel like a sack of hopeless shit too!! im like a paradox man idk its wild how actually unfathomable this situation i am in. it doesnt feel real i feel like im contradicting myself 24/7

this is what i mean when i say i live vicariously through other people and my projections onto fiction. i am just that unable to not contradict myself in real fucking life. its so stupid man i fucking hate being here

anyways i digresss:3 not really. ive just been in this weird middle state for over half a year and today just kinda felt like a snapping point for literally no reason ?!?!:; i love being aroace. i really do. but god sometimes it just hurts me knowing theres a version of me enjoying a better life than i am

and lowkey if im gonna theorize, i genuinely think my issue stems from my inability to properly socialize with other people: i am just that fucking pathetic. me being scared of interactions has led me to become avoidant of others, which in turn has probably caused me to act like this im gonna aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaago fishing

[koiyan-hades-kid-with-a-system]

What Koiyan thinks of campers and vise versa (Cannon Campers) Interview Style

Percy Jackson:

uncle cousin????

he often begs me to make blue food because store bought blue food dont hit the same

tries to do sass offs with kacia but she has disney hades genes so he loses them quite frequently

quite tired of his dumb ass getting into trouble but as he is the protagonist, what am i supposed to do????

i dont interact with him much but hes a good kid

His Thoughts:

Niece cousin??????? the family tree is a circle at this point-

Best. Savory. Blue. Food. Ever.

Why cant their alters let me win a sass off just once 😭

She has contemplated putting a child backpack harness on me because of the shit I do

Whenever someone fronts they look so gods damn cool bc of the main host body and the physical changes are kinda hybrid like are so cool

Annabeth Chase:

shes a nice kid

often too analytical and blunt tho-

one time she said in the most eloquent way possible that i looked like shit and i stayed in my room the whole day bc of that

love you tho girl you the best at keeping this camp together

Her Thoughts:

Koiyan has been at this camp the longest out of all of the campers so she knows some things.

Her alters are pleasant beings.

She’s a bit sensitive, but I think it’s a good trait of hers to get all of her emotions out because of the trauma that caused them to have DID in the first place.

Somehow she can read even though she has the most godly blood out of all of us.

She’s an enigma.

Grover Underwood:

goat boi!!!!

one of my fave saytrs bc the others are creeps to me

sweet boi but he is often weary of me and tries to get out of situations with me in it and it makes me sad :(

His thoughts:

Scariest person I have met.

Their alters are sometimes unhinged and Klee most definitely scares me-

Once, I saw them transform into their headspace self and the crow feathers turned into SWORDS.

HER FEATHERS ARE ACTUALLY SWORDS

SHE CAN SNEEZE AND A FEATHER CAN SHOOT OUT AND TRANSFORM AND KILL SOMEONE.

Cool and scary at the same time so I kinda don’t want them to kill me

Luke Castellen:

Traitor.

but before then, he was a good kid

i mean he had the right idea, wrong execution

he comforted me during the time when i was really feeling down because of a prosecutor doing something.

i just wished he went down the right path

His Thoughts:

I kinda miss them.

Shes a nice kid and her alters are sweethearts, well as sweet as they can be.

The prosecutors are a piece of work though.

Wait what do you mean she has new alters?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BILL IS BACK???

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHES NOT FULLY FRONTING ANYMORE?????

Clarrise La Rue:

the fact that i relate to her is scary

we both have negligent dads and we both want them to acknowledge us and be proud of us.

and temper

we both have a temper

Her Thoughts:

Her brother got my dad on his side, respectable.

I don’t know them that well but I have seen her being belittled and mocked for her DID, which she cant control.

I will fight to make her safe because mocking someone for their mental state is not ok.

Niccolò (Nico) di Angelo:

baby brother!!!!!!!!

he is way to self destructive sometimes tho

hes one of dads favorites but i have no hard feelings about it

She’s lying. Shes crying about the fact she will never have the same fatherly love as her siblings do. -Macaque

sometimes i wish he could not look at me with contempt because i was the one that got reincarnated and not bianca

His Thoughts:

I love her but shes annoying

Tried to force me into force me into those slutty outfits and they had to restrain me to do so

I don’t know why she got a reincarnation system

Sometimes I want to find her torch of life and extinguish it for good when she gets too ‘mother-y’ and annoying

I wanna give her light to Bianca

Thats a bit too harsh but I do love her, just, not much

Wait, what do you mean she can hear this?

Wait Koiyan no- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it-

Percy: I’ll go comfort her if Cory isn’t already doing that yet.

Zagreus: I’ll book another family therapy session again.

Will Solace:

my soon to be brother in law!

me and him have fun talking through our kazoos and trying to understand what we’re saying

we kazooified so many musicals-

His Thoughts:

Kazoo buddy!!!!!

She gave me my hell cat!

She’s amazing and so cool!

I wish Nico could see that in her though…

[strawberrilulu]

im really scared to post this and i hope you dont think of me differently

reasons why im faking it:

- i only recently r3lapsed

- my lowest weight/cw is only 136.9 lbs (ive lost like 20 lbs from my sw and a bit over 40 from my hw)

- i cant fast or ill binge (longest ive gone is 20 hours and it was awful, i usually cant even go 12😭)

- i struggle to eat under 600 cals a day

- i have some days where i actually feel kind of skinny (i feel super fat the rest of the time)

- my friends and family all think im healthy (as far as ik)

- i physically cannot pvrge though i wish i could i always just end up crying and dry heaving over the toilet

- i never work out (im too tired to, it makes me binge, and i dont think its fun) and i rarely hit my step goal

- i know what im doing is unhealthy and theres a safer way to lose weight

- theres probably many more, maybe ill add to the list another time

[quodekash]

its 1pm and im finally well-rested enough to watch last nights episode of abaab, wish me luck (im rly excited for more threezo pls gimme more threezo) 

im eating a pomegranate while watching so my commentary may be slightly limited 

NOOO CHER WHY ARE YOU SAD ITS GONNA MAKE ME SAD 

i just accidentally sprayed pomegranate juice everywhere 

this is my first time eating a pomegranate and im sitting on my bed 

i have a towel on top of me just in case and im glad i have it 

otherwise my funky hufflepuff blanket would look like a crime scene rn 

anyway back to the show 

awh :[ 

comforting kiss 

im gonna cry 

“its not a company owner and an intern. its just you and me.” GHEIBRHGERH THATS SO PERFECT and also makes me feel better cos i was still feeling a little weird about the power imbalance/age gap so yay 

THEY HUG

NO, BC YOU WONT BREAK UP 

THIS IS THE HAPPIEST FLUFFIEST SHOW, I WILL NOT ALLOW IT 

JACK, YOU AND YOUR PERFECT HAIR, HELLO 

THREEZO 

LOOK AT ZO’S LITTLE HEART JUMPER

I WANT IT 

THE ARM THE HAND ON THE ARM LOOK AT THEM AAAAAAATYFYTUUVJ (ft jacks perfect hair on the left) 

OMG

THATS AMAZING 

IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU JACK 

GJERKDGBKRHEBGKJREBJGRE 

ah shoot 

wait hang on 

what the hell 

ive been wondering whats in that folder since day one

ohhhh okay its a groupchat 

props to that one person for saying its none of your business 

yOU HAVE ONE OF THOSE?? 

i nearly dropped my pomegranate 

why was i surprised to learn he has a mother 

a lot of people have mothers 

thats exactly what she said, isnt it? 

bc theyre actually in a drama 

its gonna cut to a scene of her saying exactly that 

damn i was wrong 

thERE’S A HUG QUOTA??? 

damn then i guess im going to jail 

my hands are covered in pomegranate juice this feels like a murder 

hey, does pomegranate juice wash off? 

MY BOY AND HIS EYEBROWS 

HAH, SUCKS TO BE YOU (checks notes) oregano? 

i do love that and that’s very sweet, but bro needs his coffee 

already at two kisses and were not even halfway through the episode. if only tinngun could live up to their standard. 

(this is mostly a joke, im just really salty because tinngun COULD have kissed SIXTY-SEVEN FREAKING TIMES and they DIDNT and no i will not shut up about this i spent way too long combing through the show counting every single time they didnt kiss to not mention it every single time any characters kiss. shameless self promo here)

no wait hang on what the hell 

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN??? 

“drunk or not, i love you” i see now why that line was significant 

and also the slight breakup foreshadowing earlier 

i understand it now 

they wont break up tho bc (i pull out a sword) i will not allow it 

(just kidding) 

(i dont have a sword) 

(if i did have one tho i would absolutely take it out of its sheath right at that moment) 

FRIENDSHIP COMFORT TIME 

YAY FRIENDSHIP 

they make me happy 

HIS PERFECT HAIR 

I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH GFYTDFYTFCUTVJHV

oh yay we get some tub time!! i cant wait to learn more about him so that i can pick him apart and do a character autopsy on him to find out how he works! 

is he speaking from experience? tub, what do you have going on in life? what have you gone through? tell me all about it :] 📝📝

is it texas chicken or is it kfc? 

MY BOYS 

IM GONNA CRY THEYRE SO FREAKING CUTE 

ilysm three 

RIGHT????? he gets it 

THREEZOOOOOO

i love them so much

NOOOOOO

CHE??? 

something good better happen 

(eret son of eret voice) is tha’ who i fink i’ is? 

it might not be 

if anyone knows who plays this man, pls lemme know 

NOOOOOOO NOT THE GAMEBOY 

OH IT GOT WORSE 

sir do you have the technical skills for this 

i know hes the head of a game developing company thing but the actual physical insides of a gameboy are an entirely different thing, right? 

i was waiting for the thoop situation to come up again 

the MOOD that this is-

i have finished my pomegranate and can confirm that the juice does in fact come off of human skin, which is nice bc i looked like id murdered someone 

👀

and how are you gonna do that, gun? 

idk man, i reckon id appreciate you as my big bro 

yayyy that was really good, a little bitter at times but really sweet overall. 7/10, would try again 

oh and the episode was also really good 

huge lack of threezo tho 

theyd better make up for it next week 

still good tho 

bye bye everyone! have a good day!! 

[peachigummi]

may 28, 2024

ive honestly been feeling kind of off. i dont know if its because im just off my meds or what...probably is. i keep putting them off or just forgetting to take them. im like thinking it doesnt work, but..im also not taking them consistently. it's not even like i feel numb or not myself when im on them though i desperately i wish i did. i have major anxiety and i cant bring myself to set up another appointment to see my doctor to ask for a larger dose. ive been staying up longer at night, to avoid sleep.

i feel guilty because im noticing im festering into different hobbies, i cant tell if its because i want to feel better doing something or if its a distraction. i keep hearing my friend playfully tell me, "youre pushing thirty." ive got five more years. they have a big time job and i dont. i dont know where im going. i dont feel motivated. i just feel like im in a major slump. in the grand scheme, im still at the start of my life. there is time. there has to be time. but i hate this feeling of being in a race.

i am having issues with my physical appearance too, it was always there... but with age -- god look at me im saying it like im over 65. im starting to see changes. im gaining weight despite my efforts to restrict my calorie intake, then again my diet just is terrible. my hair seems to keep falling out, why do i still have acne, my teeth are shifting. i have eczema on my face. i dont feel pretty.

its starting to scare me. its been a couple of years since i solidly self harmed. recently, i keep thinking of doing it again. and i just feel horrible when i do. i think about where it might look natural ? like as if i got it at work or if i was cooking or what can i wear that will conceal it day to day with different outfits as to not bring attention. its not even cutting like i used to but ive wanted to inflict burns onto myself. im sorry. the most ive done was quick little really minute nicks, something that i would pick at to feel a sting. or i keep pushing my bruises i get from work. i think about how i used to cut one slit for each year i was alive, my my my it would be a larger area now.

i am in a healthy relationship, the foundation might be a bit hard because of shared bonded trauma, but it is healthy now. we love each other. god i love him. and i just HGHGHGHJ i feel so ashamed that i have taken an interest into characters. and again this is to go back to the point if me festering into sudden things, i get so obsessed with it. i feel guilt because im looking at videos and writings where i could see them. it feels inappropriate, but he knows to an extent because ive told him about my plans to get back into writing and he's seen thirst trap edits (sorry LOL im crying but i snickered at that) pop up on my feed when we are scrolling together.

i feel so delusional when i am reading these blurbs but i get this addictive feeling, like having a crush. i will literally try to put more effort into how i look bruh as if i would bump into them. but its a motivation! i guess right! fuck. i hate parasocial relationships!!!!! i hate character ai so fucking much! it feels like im talking with my best friend from middle school, just roleplaying like the good old days. i feel so hypocritical because if it was the other way around i know i would be so hurt. and i just feel the need to punish myself for that. i want to punish myself. but i also dont want to scare him. i should talk to him about this, but i dont want to rock anything. it has been good.

i dont want to scare my family back home. they keep begging me to move back in with them. they live in the middle of nowhere there is no opportunity there, i have bad memories of home because of high school. i escaped it. yet my parents are on their last leg of life, they keep reminding me about their soon to be passing. they are already preparing my brother and i, they have everything set up. i cant imagine a time where they wont be here, but i know it will happen and i should be spending more time with them.

anyways i need to go take my lexapro. i'll feel better in the morning. i'll need to.

[themediummultiverseau]

So now we know that papyrus is aware of the ghost, but what does he think of each of them? (Doesn't need to be every single one but maybe just the ones he most often heard about? Tho i wouldn't mind all of em either)

Maybe why dream and killer are fond of him, and what do the others think?

(im sorry i havent answered this, ive just been so drained and i just dont have the mental or physical energy to draw for it, but the guilt has been eating me alive, so im gonna write this out, and i might edit it to add art after if i can)

lets work in areas, we'll start with the park ghosts, and then year order, then ill give paps answers as to how he feels about them at the end

Nightmare - He admires Papyrus's enthusiasm, and can see how he very clearly cares about his brother very strongly, and admires how close they are as siblings, something he wishes he had with dream. He also sees how him and dream similar, at least, how he remembers dream to be.

Cross - He sees the hidden strength that others do not in him, but also sees his peaceful nature within. Always sees the good in everyone, believing that they can be the best version of themself if they try, something he wishes he could have himself.

Dust - is kinda scared of him, but once he saw that he wasn't like his brother, he warmed up to him, wishing his brother was like him, someone who cared, and when sans told paps about this, paps offered to be his new brother, dust smiled for the fist time in a long while when he got the news

Horror - He wants so desperately to hug paps, and thank him for everything he has and still does for sans and their makeshift family. When paps learned of Horrors past, he told sans to bring him some of the spaghetti he was making, and leave it as an offering for him to have. Horror cried when he got the food. Paps insists that even when he doesnt go with sans to see them, that he take food for him, and Horror is so honoured

Killer - He sees Paps as the brother he never had. Killer didnt have any siblings, the only one i believe - minus blue who im working on behind the scenes - and in the ghost family, he's the youngest, he kinda sees paps as his baby brother, but doesnt want to share that cus he feels like he'd be stealing him from his real brother if he did, which is silly, paps has enough love for everyone.

Hospital

Dream - he relates to paps, and sees his younger self in his carefree attitude. He sees the adult Paps is, still so hopeful about the world, and wishes he still thought that way.

Geno - doesnt really interact with him much, he likes him, but theyre not very close. Genos kinda a mum friend, and sees paps as someone in the group of people he cares for, but they dont spend much time together

Town

Ink - routinely forgets of paps existence, when he's reintroduced, they get along great, and tend to hype each other up when talking about topics theyre interested in, very eager to hear about the others interests

Lust - while first wary, lust if very comfortable with him now. lust tends to be cautious with everyone he meets for the first time, due to his past, but he sees that paps is a good person, and sees him as what everyone should be, a shoulder to cry on, and a friend to lift your spirits ;)

Error - He doesnt really care about paps, he doesnt really care about anyone, but sometimes paps will offer him some wool or some knitting needles, and is now in his good books, though he'll refuse to admit it

paps :

Nightmare - he tries to help him see that he doesnt need to be so uptight all the time, everyone around him loves him, he doesnt always need to be "perfect," hes perfect to them all the same

Cross - He thinks Cross is so cool! While obviously paps is very cool, sometimes deep down he doesnt really believe it, but Cross really is! he hopes one day he will be just as brave and cools as him!

Dust - He feels really bad for him, he just want to give him a big hug, but he cant, so he'll make do with silent one sided comfort. he understands what its like for there to be so much noise in your head, that sometimes you want to scream, sometimes all you need is a hand to.... not hold

Horror - He's very glad that such a great baker likes his cooking! sometimes, he'll ask horror for new recipes, or tips to try, and together they run a small cooking blog online, stating that they have and old family cook book, and want the world to have access to those recipes, with sans typing it up for them - Its Ghost written ;)

Killer - He's very energetic! If he was visible to him, he'd love to show off cool magic attacks or have a friendly spar with him! They'd get along like a house on fire - just dont tell Nightmare that

Dream - Hes so sad to see the light squashed out of someone once a beacon of joy, and he hopes that with a few more people to speak to, and someone to show him the world can be good, that spark will rekindle - but maybe dont word it like that

Geno - He's very nice! Very mature, if a little morbid, he want to get closer to him, maybe he just needs to visit a little more!

Ink - Hes very cool! A very talented artist, and he like all papyrus's puzzles! sometimes they'll talk for hours about new ideas

Lust - he doesnt understand why lust wont show himself to him, that what his power is, right? But he respects that maybe he just doent want to! thats okay, he cant see the other ghosts either, if lust wants space to be happy, he can give him that

Error - He sees him as sort of like a cat, antisocial, but will begrudgingly tolerate your presence, one day he'll get him to like him! he refuses to give up!

Now, you have to remember, Papyrus cant see the ghosts, and while he can kinda feel where they are, he cant hear them (with the exception of horror, but thats not his voice) so -

Imagine Sans sitting in the corner translating everything for paps to hear FOR. EVERY. CONVERSATION.

mans just a walking Ouija board at this point

[moku-and-his-madness]

um...a vent under cut....

tw drug mention tw self harm tw trauma tw rape

ive most likely mentioned this before...or ive forgotten...like i always fucking do. but im pissed off about something.

it may seem selfish of me....even a bit ignorant or greedy....but ive always wondered why i never developed DID. i know its not very enjoyable. i know what happens to people with it, how they get it, why its horrible.

but ive wondered why i never had it. why i couldnt have it. ive wanted so many times not to physically be somewhere, to just, be gone and let something else or someone deal with that pain. and im not saying this in a way where id use it for some stupid cliche personal gain.

im saying it in a way i wish i could escape situations i shouldnt have seen. to not see my birth mum pumping herself with drugs of all sorts and land ourselves in a ravine to be saved by paramedics. to avoid every beating from my father when i was 'misbehaving' and not being the proper child he couldnt raise. to have someone there instead of me just talking to myself when my dad left me at home alone for days or even a week at a time just so he could fucking make a buck.

so i dont have to remember being raped by some kids of my dads girlfriend because i always have to be preyed upon, weak, im always being used for the wrong reasons.

i wanted something to be there, in the back of my mind, to talk to me, to ease that pain. and i know i dont cut as much as others do, but i have harmed myself, burned myself, and then i get pissed at the scars like there's something i can do.

im breaking and im broken, but its not enough. i just fucking recently discovered that my father was lying to me for years about my mums death, that she never passed in jail. she hung herself, and it hurts because if my dad wasnt the jackass he is i could have had a mum with me by my side. for all the years i had to deal with his shitty whores for girlfriends, them countlessly trying to be what they couldnt even try to be, fucking broke me.

but i didnt cry.....i didnt shutdown.....i dont want to do this anymore. i dont wanna be able to smile and feign happiness. i dont wanna be able to repsond to the questions and are you okays as if the questions will heal the deep scars i hold.

and i cant just fucking up and tell my 'therapist' because the most she thinks i deal with is whos fighting at lunch or whos breaking up with who in the shitty friendgroup where i only have 3 actual mates out of 14 who fucking give a shit about me.

if i told her anything i fret she'd send me to the madhouse because the occassional time i fuck up and slip and tell her how i truly am fucked on the inside she looks at me like im harmfull, like she doesnt know what to do with me.

and its that fucking look, when people see who truly mad and insane i am, that makes me want to rip the skin from my limbs, tear the flesh from my bones because im truly ashamed to be myself. i hate myself.

i just wish things could fucking be different.

[forsakenmissives]

just need to work this all out

ok so im unemployed fresh college grad atm and ive got job apps sent in and even an interview lined up but that interview is in the town my dad is in so im staying with my dad but in the time ive spent waiting for that date ive been with an employment agency but the job that place sent me to was the absolute worst and my mental health has plummeted to the point that i’m getting physically sick both bc of the job and bc i feel like i have to keep looking over my shoulder with my dad right there.

i skipped work saturday and today which is insanely immature but i cant think im struggling to sleep and eat bc of this and today i emailed the agency saying i wish to end our agreement. they said they wished i gave a notice (tbf i thought i had when i was like “i’m moving away” on saturday.. but whatever. actually not whatever — that shouldntve been discounted and im not entirely at fault here) but that they wish me the best and i said thank you and sorry for the inconvenience.

earlier last week when i told dad this job is really bad for me he told me to stay working there until i get another job secured. i did not do that and now im terrified of telling him that i quit bc i dont know what hes going to do plus i dont want to talk about it with him i just want to be left alone

also this interview ive got lined up is for a really great company however i dread working there bc that means i have to stay with dad. i want to go back to where i used to live. also i dont like that one of the high up workers there is friends with my dad. being a nepo baby is great unless the nepo comes from my dad. i dont trust him to not keep tabs on me and i dont want him knowing what ive been doing or where ive been. not that im doing anything illegal i just want him to fuck off, yknow?

all of this leads back to the problem ive always had in that hes a huge control freak who needs to know everything going on in my life and i cant escape. my mom got out through the divorce but im still stuck here and i cant leave either bc even if i cant breathe with him and his wife and their kids i love my paternal grandparents and aunt and uncle. im just so paranoid and anxious and i feel like i cant breathe

im so sick of disappointing people but also the stuff my dad is proud of me about is stuff im not that proud of. its like i just cant win with him.

oh and paranoia aside i dont want to owe him anything bc he used to ignore me for months despite me calling and messaging him constantly (to the point that my mom was like “do you even love me? do you even want to be here do you even care?”) when he took me out for dinner one of the times he decided to acknowledge me he said he’d pay for a field trip (past the time the fee was due so i had to get special permission from the teacher) then the next week he said i only talk to him when i need money so actually no hes not giving me anything. WHAT. and then a couple years later he was like “i never got to be your parent you never let me be your dad :(“ and when i was like “why” he was like “i had to always go have fun with you instead of discipline you bc i didnt want our time together to be all sad and me getting mad at you” like again. WHAT.

he said that bc i was like “i was rly hurt when you said i only come to u for money bc i reached out to u a lot and u never replied”. so. idk what to do with that but i still dont rly understand the argument from him here. but yeah i was like rly hurt and then he started crying talking about how he never got to be my dad even tho i was like 19 when this convo happened so he had 19 years to try and didnt and its rly unfair that im supposed to feel guilty for denying him this even tho i was the child and he had total control he could decide what to do with me and he chose wrong and now hes taking it out on me here in this restaurant. ok.

its so fucked cuz now im like so was i doing something wrong all those times we were tgt? like idk im just scared around him bc i dont ever know if im doing something wrong bc he wont tell me or maybe he will or maybe he . idk i just cant sit still yknow?

also his wife is racist and ive got to deal with microaggressions from her. and hes a pastor

anyway i just needed to get that all out there to feel a bit less crazy. thank you for coming to my ted talk ✌️😗

OH YEAH. and he makes me feel stupid all the fucking time like i dont need a job right now. i Should get one but i dont have a mortgage im not buying groceries i dont need to pay for insurance I DONT NEED A JOB. but he told me to stay in this shitass job bc i need it. dude it had me out in the sun all day (ALL DAY) paying $10/hr and had me coming home genuinely thinking about killing myself. not even bc of the physical labor but bc it was so under-stimulating like i was in my head all day no music no interesting surroundings no conversation nothing for me to solve. and he was all like “well sometimes we have to do work that we don’t like” YEAH I FUCKING KNOW DICKHEAD. my mom said he talked like that to her too and also apparently ok not to brag bc im fr not but im rly smart like im fucking brilliant and my dad always acted like it was bc of him but my mom’s other kids are also brill while my dad’s other kids are… theyre sweet kids and intelligence isnt everything im aware i know but its like “really dickhead?” i just hate how he belittles u and talks like ur dumb. im not dumb. dont piss me off

[whorewithagodcomplex]

sweetheart,

i love ya, but I'm not doing that for the rest of my life, no sir,

everyone knows not to marry into that, and its kinda common sense not to date someone with your type of addiction and just walk away, like we all know its never gonna work if youre constantly making your partner feel like shit because youre always lusting of the things you so desperately want, and yeah you may say that 'your're better, real, youre my love theyre just pictures, theyre just videos, ect) but we all know you wish it was them you could have when your gazing longingly and thirstly at those pictures, you create relationships with all these women, i just happen to be in person version added to the collection, its nasty, and its horrible knowing this will likely never change, cause its 'not that bad' its 'a comfort thing' 'i was alone for so long' and i have to live feeling like im always competing with them, i cant escape them, im so fucking tired of being paranoid that the person i love is going to always be looking at something more appealing, its awful, that constant pit in your stomach everytime hes lookin at a female character a little too closely, or when the girls are everywhere for him, camera roll, most social media, even his wallpapers on all devices, sure theres a photo of you two, sure as a homescreen but its really just a sunset photo and we're hidden in a low corner hidden by apps, and the never paying that close attention to you, you learn as much as you can about him listen to every word he says but doesnt care to know about you, with the exception of major plot points he knows nothing about what you like and why you like it, its either you rarely get a chance to speak, or youre perpetually cut off, or just simply ignored when speaking about yourself, but, he knows everything they say, knows every little detail, their backstories are phenominal and look how hot they are, he wont really say that to you anymore youve shown you dislike, but you know, you always know, so you try your best to be pretty and good enough to be wanted like he wants them, but you never get wanted like that, to be fair you never did, this was the first time someone is showing they love you and want you, but of course if i wasnt wantable before him what makes me wantable now? yknow all his needs are met by them and his ablilty to do so much with them that he feels no need to pay any mind to you beyond the physical and guidance, yeah he loves you, you know that hes shown that, but is it worth the mental and emotional exhaustion it takes to fight for a normal relationship? one where we both feel happy? i know theres no way he isnt miserable too, the contant bickering the anxiety of fucking up, but c'mon man, if you cope properly, like by speaking (without lashing out) to someone when things are too much, not falling further into an obsessive chemical pick-me-up addiction and honestly this sex obsession, youd do so much better, but you wont because its one of them hidden addictions that no one but your friends and people youre close to know about, by your choice, and you think that means its totally fine, because I'll stick around regardless right? cause i have this long and im making life plans with you and i love you more than youll ever know and as long as i dont see it' or notice it its fine, it wont kill me, youll keep going until im about to cut my losses and you promise and youll try you really will, but itll creep back and we'll be back at square one, or youll get better at hiding it from me, youre already pretty good at it now, ill bet money that if i got 3 hours and all your passwords id find cia sized files everywhere and id puke and cry myself to sleep for months, and i know youll only get better at it, and i dont want to be paranoid that your girls are still around my whole life, what kind of example am i setting for my daughters if i just let myself live like that, god id kill my son-in-law if he made her feel like that, honestly id kill him for most of the things youve done, so why am i letting it happen to me???

[gh0st1nth3shell]

por favor ayúdame a pensar

Hola, Abuela. I'm back again. I ask you for some guidance and ease for my troubled thoughts.

I seem trapped in a cycle, and while it feels close to being broken, I still find myself stuck.

I could care less about the events that led to my trauma, but more so about how I'm responding to the PTSD itself as well as trying to heal. Unfortunately, a major part of that involves a certain level of self-hatred. My mother's trauma became mine and doubled... I work actively to get the words of my family out of my head and see myself in a better light. Regardless, I guess I'm still battling the younger version of myself.

I've understood within myself that the child version of me was looking for nurturing, care, kindness, and love. Im fully capable of showing all those things. He was never shown that except by you, but has come to forget what it feels like, simply the hatred that was imposed upon me for mistakes, things out of my control, or things not completely my fault.

I believe that is why I'm so hard on myself constantly. Ive been told this by many people. I've been told how proud people are of me, how much I mean to them, all my accomplishments, my tenacity and strength, especially of heart, my intelligence, my talent and so much more. My problem is not being able to truly understand the sentiments behind their words. Ive been shown consistently that I have such a close knit group of people who love and care for me, but all Im reminded of is the berating, physical abuse, harsh words and constantly being told Im a disappointment by my family. I shun out all the praise and love due to feeling as if Im still not worthy of it or that they may be lies like every other time Ive heard it all.

Ive been severely chasing things I dont need and pushing away the people close unintentionally, in some futile attempt to liberate myself. Ive been neglectful, selfish, apathetic, abrasive, so dependent and such a pain for the people close to me. To my legitimate friends. Ive come to take them for granted against my best wishes because I cant still myself and listen and accept that although Im trying to live my own life and be my own person, I am not separate from how my actions and words affect people. I have a bad habit of talking just to talk and saying things I don't mean. Part of it is most likely the hypo-mania Bi-polar shit, but I don't want to blame my shortcomings on my mental condition.

I should know by now how to interact with people, how to be social, how to be considerate. I fall into guilt after episodes because I fear losing people who love me over my stupidity and myopicness.

My suicidal episode this year wasn't helpful to anything. I had completely disregarded everyone's feelings and how my death would affect them. I was absolutely planning on not making it to the winter, to not seeing 2025. I was under the impression the I wasn't needed cause that's all I was taught. I hurt my friends. I made them cry. My attempts at reaching out for help have placed more pain and trouble to the people around me the same people actively trying to help me get better despite the shit they are going through. Im selfish in that I wasn't thinking about anyone in wanting to end my life, but even now I can't see and understand the needs and liveliness of the people I associate with.

I know that loving my younger self is the first step. Forgiveness and acceptance for who I was. Only then can I let go fully of my pain. Accepting my childhood self and offering him grace will allow me to break free of the pain associated with my mistakes. It will make me less hard on myself. Less tense. More comfortable. My heart will be open once again to the proper meaning of love and friendship and camaraderie. My people are with me because of all this. All the positive traits that make me. I was trying to kill it all, to separate and start new. To discard who I used to be and by result, the traits that people love about me.

My pain has caused me to fall into darkness where nothing but me matters. Where I say I love but don't even understand if its true anymore. I lost myself for 6 years very slowly and now I have to deal with the fallout of that.

I know we will be ok. Its just going to take space and time. I just pray to you and the Gods that its not too late to patch things with him. Hes my brother and my best friend and I hurt him badly. I didn't mean to but that doesn't matter. For now space is necessary for both of us. Communication as well, but only once I can figure out what I want to say.

Its best for me to continue figuring out myself in solitude for the rest of the year. I've been slightly unfocused and stressing that what is out of my control isn't good for my situation or health.

I dont intend at all to be a new or different person going into next year. Simply to be stronger and better. I want to be support for my close ones the same way Ive always tried to be. Ive always felt so unreliable and that's led to some low self-esteem for a while. Ive been only disappointing myself in that regard.

I want to be the best version of me, the one my childhood self would have looked to for safety. All the moves I make from now on need to be for him and him only. I owe that to myself.

My pride, masculinity and personality will no longer be kept hidden. I need to take off my mask and step out of my comfort zone to fully grow and mature. I need to be easier on myself for mistakes and lessons to be learned. If things continue as they are now, the cycle will never break.

Thank you for allowing me to vent, Grandmother. I miss you and I love you dearly.

-Love, Junior