#winter's edge reread

[tickldpnk8]

Winter’s Edge: How They Met Themselves

I’m back with another issue on my reread! Winter’s Edge has several stories that I have been reading for the first time. And because this story has so many historical references, it took me months to prep this post. I'd tinker on it a bit, do some more historical reading, and then tinker some more. (And ultimately, half of what I read didn't make it into this post. But it was a cool portion of art history to rabbit hold down.)

So first off, the art:

It’s got this lovely pen and ink line quality as if the inker preserved some of the sketchiness of the pencils. Or maybe they jumped right to a dip pen. The colors likewise feel more expressive than the typical coloring. To me, it feels a bit like the illustrations you might find in a book during the late 1800s: it has a full color lithography feel for me.

Desire’s nature

This is another Desire story and we learn a bit more about them:

First off, we get this more androgynous depiction of them. As well as some commentary by the other characters. It seems that Desire's gender is in the eye of the beholder:

We also get a line about how cruel Desire can be. They say that they always hurt when the poet asks for pain.

And another snippet that I'll put with the literary tie-in in a moment.

The inspiration

So who and what is this story about?? Well I just so happened to come across this work by Dante Gabriel Rossetti coincidentally as I was reading this:

Which goes along quite nicely with this panel from our story:

Two couples face each other in each. Both depict one of the women fainting. Which was the final clue that helped me trace the real-life people included in this story: Elizabeth Siddall, Dante Gabriel Rossetti and Algernon Charles Swinburne.

This story is basically another historical fiction that inserts the Endless (in this case, Desire) into the tale. Rossetti was an important painter within the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood and Siddall was his muse and became his wife. A painter in her own right, Siddall suffered from either tuberculosis or some other ailment and eventually became addicted to laudanum. She died of an overdose after an outing with Rossetti and Swinburne...perhaps after "meeting themselves" and Desire.

Rossetti for his part seems to have been an unfaithful partner...which could have contributed to the central theme of this comic issue: if the couple met their true loves in the woods, who was each of them in love with? I suspect Rossetti was just in love with himself. (As an aside, the Pre-Raphaelites didn't like another art history figure we've already met: Sir Joshua Reynolds!)

Literary Tie-in

Algernon Swinburne is our literary reference for this issue. We see a snippet of his poetry. He apparently often wrote about taboo subjects. But the snippet we see is actually a description of Desire and Despair as being "twin-born"...so perhaps this was the inspiration for our 2 Endless being portrayed as twins.

So in the end, we get a nice tie-in story that is primarily about Desire, and also includes allusions to Despair and Death.

[bhosadverse]

I'll kiss you (when you're not about to sneeze in my face)

james potter x gn!reader (friends to lovers)

a/n: is my obsession w using parentheses in titles obvs? duh. also this was inspired from this

c/w: fluff, implied gryffindor reader but not rlly, side wolfstar and rosekiller, cat allergies!!!! (james is allergic), usage of nicknames like 'babe' and 'doll' and 'angel', nothing else i can think of so lmk if i missed smth

The sun is shining prettily through the stained glass of the common room windows. As you stretch on the couch, lazily rereading one of your favourite books, you hear the unmistakable sound of footsteps dashing downstairs. Plopping up from your relaxed position, you turn to look at the staircase just as your favourite redhead-blonde duo appear, talking animatedly about something. Spotting your slacked form, Lily beelines towards the couch, immediately drawing a sound of protest from your lips as you notice her determined expression.

"Come on! You can't waste away a sunny day inside." A petulant whine escapes your lips at her words. "Lils, please, I'm reading!" Marlene tuts in response, now standing behind the couch with her hands on her hips as she looks down at your form much like she's a doctor analysing a patient. "Babe, no. You're turning into a snob."

Lily rolls her eyes at her crass words. "What Marls means is that you should come out with us to enjoy the sun while we can. Winter's almost here, please! You can still read your book too." Scoffing at her pleading form, you cross your arms in feigned irritation, "Stop pouting like that." Marlene nods behind you, agreeing. "Yeah Lils, stop pouting, and help me." "Help you do wha—Marlene McKinnon, unhand me right now!" You shriek with slight outrage as she grabs your hands from behind, giving Lily the cue to tickle you. The redhead looks at you with a devious grin, making you wonder what Professor McGonagall was thinking, making her a prefect. "What's it gonna be, love? Coming with us to the grounds or a merciless tickle attack?" Knowing you can do nothing but yield, you surrender to their whims, making them cheer. Grumbling, you straighten your clothes, glaring at the two, although there is no real heat in your eyes as the three of you start walking.

Chatting idly and affront forgiven, your trio reaches your destination after what seems like an unnecessarily long walk, finding the rest of your friends dawdling about near the lake. "Meadowes!" Marlene hollers, from beside you, her infatuation with the Slytherin painfully obvious as she draws the attention of not only your friends but also half the population on the grounds. You watch as Dorcas, Sirius, Remus and Peter turn their attention to the lot of you as you approach them, immediately taunting the boys, "Where's the funnier one of your group?" 

Sirius scoffs, pulling you down next to him playfully. "And here I thought you loved me. It's always the ones you trust the most." You huff in response, swatting him with your hardcover copy lightly. "The truth hurts, Black." You're saved from his inevitable retaliation when Remus beckons you closer. You abandon his other half, scooting up next to the scarred boy with appreciation evident in your expression which drops as soon as he opens his mouth. "James is over there," he nods sassily at the familiar group of Slytherins lazing around further along the water's edge. It's actually not even the entire group of them, just Barty and Evan cuddled up under a tree, with James crouching near them, apparently held in conversation. The sight is so peculiar that you're surprised you didn't notice them sooner. Remus gives you an impish smirk, knowing all about your feelings for the bespectacled boy and you roll your eyes at his nerve. Standing up, you brush off your robes and mumble to your friends who are all giving you knowing looks, "I'll be right back." Sirius eyes you, and then James, teasing salaciously, "Take your time, doll." He receives another swat of the book and a few creative insults before you start walking along the edge of the lake, overhearing the….one-sided conversation he seems to be having? "God, aren't you precious?" he whispers, which makes Barty snicker mockingly, "It's a lost cause, Potter." He looks up at you when your shadow blocks the sunlight from his face, jeering derisively, "Come to collect your boyfriend?" You roll your eyes for the hundredth time and grumble, "We're not dating, Junior." 

Before he can say something else that would get him punched, James turns to you, sniffling. "Hi, angel. How are you?" You find yourself horrified as you take in his form. "James, what the hell? Are you petting a cat?" You almost shout, noticing the black little ball of fur near his feet. His face breaks into a grin, even though it looks slightly strained. "Yes! He's so cute, isn't he?" You vaguely hear Barty snicker again as Evan admonishes him half-arsedly but your eyes are on your friend who is apparently stupid enough to pet a cat even when he's allergic. 

"Did you forget you're allergic or are you petting that cat knowing you're allergic?" You sigh exasperatedly, suddenly feeling a lot like a single mother of four. James has the decency to look sheepish. "I, uh, didn't forget." He says quietly, like he's disappointed in himself too. He immediately picks up the cat, holding it in front of him like a shield, "But look at him, angel, he's so cute!" You huff in annoyance, immediately taking the admittedly adorable, yowling cat who looks like he is a few seconds away from scratching James' eyes out, and place it on the ground, albeit gently. "Get up, James, we're leaving." James looks down at the cat, almost mournfully before nodding and standing up. "Goodbye, Angel of Darkness." He whispers down to the cat, his voice barely audible, much like a wife's tender farewell to her husband deploying to war. He doesn't see your bewildered expression since he's still bent over the cat, bidding adieu, but the couple under the tree do, Barty giggling like he finds something terribly funny and Evan smirking, although if that is at his boyfriend's laughter or at the supposedly amusing situation, you're not sure. You ignore it, grabbing James' arm and pulling it lightly, making him turn, the both of you slowly ambling towards your friends.

James, his arm still in your grasp, mumbles, "Godric, my eyes are so itchy." You give him a criminally offensive side eye but stay silent, unaware that you will deeply regret this decision later. You almost laugh, wondering whether you should judge him for apparently being so dumb or be charmed by his frankly endearing behaviour, when James stops in his tracks beside you, making you halt as well. You turn to him, questioning, before you freeze too, absolutely stock still. "James," you start in a heavily measured tone. "Did you…did you rub your eyes?" "No." He replies instantaneously, although the way his eyes, red enough to rival a vampire, are watering rapidly indicate the opposite. You sigh through your nose, crossing your arms and levelling a glare at him. "Try again." He meets your gaze with chagrin, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks, although that may just be due to the reaction. "Um, yes." 

You shake your head, sighing for the fiftieth time, probably, as you turn around, detouring towards the castle, expecting him to follow. "Angel, I'm sorry!" He apologises immediately, guilt etched on his features like he isn't the one with a runny nose and itchy eyes, and other, probably worse symptoms. Your eyes soften and your pace slows, "Jamie, I'm not mad at you, I'm just worried." His face breaks into a warm grin at that, and even though he looks like shit, a reciprocating smile tugs on your lips instantly. "About me?" He asks, wiggling his eyebrows cheekily and you roll your eyes, the heat on your face matching his own. "Tosser." You mumble, trying to school your features into a stern glare half-heartedly as you scold in fake annoyance. "But you know you wouldn't have survived in the Muggle world, right? You're so lucky you have Madam Pomfrey." 

He takes hold of your hand lightly, stopping the both of you from walking further as you turn to look at him curiously. "I'm lucky I have you too." He says tenderly, eyes soft and touch softer where his hand holds yours. "Your sycophantic tactics won't work on me, Potter." You reply, although your heart stutters in your chest, the way he is looking at you making you nervous. "Oh? What about a kiss? Will that work?" He murmurs softly, your eyes widening as you watch him step closer to you, head ducked to meet your gaze. His face is suave, warm eyes flickering to your lips with intention. However, there is a bit of vulnerability in them too, a hint of nervousness that contrasts the coy persona he is putting up. "Well?" His head tilts slightly to the side, your eyes immediately falling to the skin of his neck as your mouth goes dry. "James," you mutter with as much self-restraint you can muster, your eyes meeting his slightly bloodshot ones again. "I'll kiss you when you're not about to sneeze in my face." 

That effectively breaks the tension, and his face scrunches up in something between indignation and disbelief. "I'm not about to sneeze in your f-" He is interrupted by a sneeze. You give him a cocky look, simultaneously relieved and disappointed at the change your conversation has taken. "Angel, it's not my fault, you set it off! You said the 'S' word." He calls accusingly, following your smug form to the Hospital Wing. He isn't much disapproving of it later, though, when you pull him in an empty hallway after the matron fixes him up, letting you kiss him to your (and his) heart's content.

likes and reblogs appreciated! :)

[endlessdreamworld]

A Snezhnayan Homecoming

Childe X F!Reader

cw: not sfw, cunnilingus, edging, sexual frustration, frustration of a general nature

“I want to make you family.” You could still hear the whispers of his sweet proposal in your dreams, since it’s one of the last few good memories you still remember vividly enough to cling to. The joy you once shared has long since trickled through your exhausted and cold fingers. How were you supposed to know that becoming family meant you would be shipped off to Snezhnaya? Tartaglia, or rather Ajax as you call him now, asked you to let him introduce you to all of his relatives. You are, after all, his soon to be bride, and it was only appropriate for you to meet everyone.

You sigh and stare out the window. The family home was indeed everything he said it was and nothing less. Teucer was so excited to show you his Mr. Cyclops collection and calling you ‘Big Sister’ as he pulled you around by your hand. His mother went out of her way to learn as much about you as you would let her so you would feel right at home. In exchange, she taught you some traditional Snezhnayan dishes to bond over. The building itself was a lavish, well built mansion, and kept everyone warm even during the coldest, angriest winters no matter how ferociously they raged. It was also large enough where everyone had their own space. Even if they no longer lived there, this was the home they could always come back to. You never wanted for anything, or at least nothing material – a perk of being engaged to someone who was richer than God. But the one thing you wanted more than anything, your future husband, was nowhere to be found. 

When you were together in Liyue, you noticed how much time he spends writing letters back home. Back then you thought it was sweet and admirable. Now? It’s the only thing keeping you sane, since you’re the one waiting for them. You think about rereading some of your prior letters, but you settle on staring out the window like the heartbroken maiden that you are. He said he’d be back soon, and he doesn’t lie about that sort of thing. Frustrated, you pick up one of the pillows on your to-be-marital bed and throw it down onto the mattress just to blow off steam.

You hated him. You stared down at the pillow and couldn’t help but imagine him laying in your bed, sprawled out with a cocky little smirk on his dumb face. His stupid little lips mouthing ‘Good job’ to praise you for managing to throw him onto the bed. You punch your pillow in frustration, picturing his face. You hated that you know he would probably like it. You hated him. Of course you loved him too. But right now? You hated that you loved him. Finally, when your ire has died down, you give the pillow a kiss. Maybe it was a little embarrassing, but it wasn’t fair that he left you here. Everyone is truly wonderful to you just like Ajax said they would be, but you missed him so much your bones burned under your skin. Frustrated and unfulfilled, you fell asleep.

You wake up in the middle of the night in desperate need for a glass of water. When you go to sit up you notice it’s a bit more difficult than you were expecting. Something heavy feels like it’s weighing down. Soft almost imperceivable laughter lingered in the air. You grope around in the dark and feel an unmistakable swath of hair, and yank on it. “Ow!” That oh so familiar voice protested playfully. “I missed you too…” As much as you wanted to be happy, it was difficult. Why didn’t he wake you up? Doesn’t he have any idea how much you’ve missed him? You reached around onto your nightstand to grab the cup of water you have to spare you the midnight walk to the kitchen, and dumped it on him.

“What’s wrong with you?! Why didn’t you wake me up?” You whisper angrily. Everyone was asleep, and the last thing you wanted to do was wake everyone up. Your distress, however, was palpable even though your words could never measure up to how you were feeling inside. Light airy laughter quickly faded away into a concerned silence and it was suffocating. “It’s like you don’t even miss me!” You feel like you’re about to cry. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” The battle with your tears is quickly turning into a losing one.

“Well, I had a very good reason,” Ajax soothed you. He threw his arm over your shoulder to pull you close once more – although the situation was a little bit awkward since you soaked him, the covers, as well as the mattress. “It’s because I like watching you sleep.”

“That’s not a good reason,”You groan into his shoulder. “You’re the worst.” “I’m a real bad guy, huh?” his hands play with your hair. “I worry about things like that when I’m off in Liyue. Whether you’re sleeping enough, whether you’re healthy.” “Yeah but you’re never here, so even a few more minutes would be a difference for me that you can’t even begin to imagine. I wish you missed me even a quarter as much as I mis–” He cut you off with a kiss so ravenous it made your lips sting.

He didn’t pull away, and just regarded your form with open eyes – something he did when he was looking for answers to give you.

Ajax eventually pulled enough to touch foreheads with you. “I miss you so much, you can’t even begin to imagine. But I guess I was a little greedy tonight. Moments where I can see you sleeping peacefully? It’s paradise – truly my greatest joy, and it’s something I can never ever get enough of.” He strokes your cheek, hoping it’ll ease your pain at least a little bit. “But it seems like I failed you as your soon-to-be-husband, and we can’t have that now, can we?”

Ajax suddenly rolled you onto your back, and regarded you from above. “What kind of man would I be if I let you believe I didn’t miss you every single second of every day?” He kissed you once more, but much more briefly this time. His gaze swept over you in a way that felt nothing short of utterly dangerous. “So, I guess I’ll just have to do a very good job reminding you just how much I miss you. First, we need to get rid of this.” His arm snaked under your nightgown, and swiftly pulled it over your head and off of you. “Don’t you want to be close to me?” 

Ajax crushed your lips with his own once more, starving for you. His eyes remained open the whole time, darting around parts of you. You realized you would rather shut your eyes right now. It’s obvious he’s figuring out exactly how to remind you, and you didn’t want to know what he had in mind. “Feeling shy now all of a sudden?” He whispered into your ear and dragged your hair upwards to get access to your shoulders. His fingers traced along your collarbone. Ajax took a hold of one of your hands, and placed the palm of it on his cheek. He took a hold of the other one and kissed your fingers and wrist. Tonight was a rare clear night in Snezhnaya. The stars were bright and the moon was unobscured by the usual clouds seen in Snezhnaya giving you a clear picture of exactly how he was looking at you with your hands holding his face like a living frame. It was a sight that you couldn’t tell if you’d rather run away or get eaten, but it was certainly one you would never forget.

But the choice was stolen from you the moment Ajax sucked on the soft skin at the base of your neck, making a wet squelching noise as he did. Your senses were quickly becoming overwhelmed on all fronts. Now that you were liberated from the burden of your nightgown, you were entirely naked. He trailed his hand up the side of your torso. It made you shiver so much, you threw your arms around his shoulders just to ease you through the sensation. Ajax chuckled, and you could feel the air tickle your eyelashes. “Here I thought you were going to put up more of a fight…” He brushed the back of his fingers over your quickly hardening nipples. “But I like this face you make so much that I can’t feel disappointed.” He bit down onto your ear, and began circling the tip of your nipple with his index finger.

“And the noises you make,” he inhales sharply and his whole body shivered, “drive me crazy.” Something he’s said so many times, but you’ve never believed it more than today. “As much as I want to make you sing, it wouldn’t be good to wake everyone up. So, try your best to be good.” Your nerves were fried. Your hair was standing on end. You wanted to run. Your heart was pounding in your chest, but most importantly, you definitely felt like you were sorely missed. Ajax slid down the bed without removing his hand which diligently worked towards giving you an unforgettable night. He pushed one of your thighs off to the side so he could get a good look at you. Your weeping cunt was a welcome sight – one he couldn’t help but sigh in satisfaction at. He looked up at you and gave you the usual smirk that made you miss him so much you wanted to rip your hair out some days and it was like your heart did a backflip. Your respite was only temporary. He swiftly licked his index and middle finger and dove into you. His thumb rubbed steady circles on your clit, and you had to cover your mouth to stifle your erupting moans. It’s a dance you’ve performed so many times, but one you would never ever tire of. 

You clasp your hands over your mouth, as he stroked you with focus and purpose. He kissed your thigh and gently laid his head against it, able to navigate around your shaking hips and undisturbed by your suddenly thrashing limbs. He could feel you were close, he knew you well enough. So, just like that he stopped. Everything stopped, and he looked at you with that cocky grin and you just wanted to punch him. He winked at you as if able to read your mind. “Won’t it be more fun and memorable if I don’t make it easy for you.”

You groaned. “Aww don’t be like that,” he lowered his head between your legs and gave your swollen clit some sorely needed love. You grip at the bed sheets. Anytime he’s got his head between your legs, he’s so excited to ruin you. Your body reacts accordingly, and your back arches as if by instinct.

“I’ve missed you so much,” you whisper. Ajax grabs a hold of your thighs and pulls you a bit closer. He angles your hips upwards, to make it much harder for you to get away.

His mouth drops to you once more, and you grip onto the sheets – the covers – anything. You needed him so much, so fucking much and he’s here – he’s finally here. Your toes curl, and – he stops. Of course he does. Why wouldn’t he? You swipe at him. “Oooh kitten’s got claws,” he teased. 

“Just say you hate me and get it over with,” you whine.

“That’s not it at all.” He smirked down at you, enjoying your frustrated red face. “You want to cum? Not until I say you’re ready.” He said, and slid his fingers inside of you once more. It didn’t take long to get you teetering on the edge, and you had forgotten yourself for a moment. “Shhh, be good.” He placed his index finger against your lips to encourage you. You kissed it happily.

“I’m close, so close so so –” You felt like you were going crazy.

“I don’t think you’re ready yet,” he reminds you. You whine in exasperation. “You’re almost ready, so how about a countdown?” You don’t really have a choice.

Ajax picks up the pace, but not before laying his head against your thigh once more. “ten, nine, eight,” you cover your mouth and shut your eyes. “seven, six, five,” His rhythm is steady and his touch is focused. It feels so good to have him inside of you like this again. You wonder if it feels like home for him too. “four, three, two,” he laughs. “two, two, twoo.” You feel like you’re going to lose your mind. “Twooo… and one.” 

Your vision goes white, you can’t breathe, and pure ecstasy washes through every inch of every vein and every artery, leaving nothing untouched. 

After what felt like an eternity, your mind clears up and you notice Ajax’s fingers were placed over your mouth with a surprised look on his face. You give his fingers a swift kiss. “I uh – was I being too loud?”

“We’re lucky I’ve got such incredible reflexes or you would have woken up every single person in the house.”

You continued to kiss his fingers. “Thank you.”

“It’s so good to be back, you know?” He pushed you down onto the bed once more. “I’ve missed you so much.” He gripped his cock in one hand and spread you open once more. You weren’t sure you were ready to go again, but what you were sure of is that you didn’t really have a choice. Ajax thrusted into you from tip all of the base in a single thrust. You covered your mouth, but you quickly readjusted because you had to hold onto him with the way he was fucking you. Your ecstatic moans were leaking through. “Shhhh,” he quieted you but not before fucking you even harder. Your eyes rolled back in your head. Ajax covered your mouth with one hand, and brushed aside your hair with the other. He laid tender kisses along every inch of you while he fucked you into the mattress. “So g– hnnn ghh. So good. I missed you so much,” you muttered into his fingers.

At the breakfast table the following morning. “Ajax is your bride-to-be joining us for breakfast today?”

He smiled and covered his face with the back of his hand, sheepishly. “I got back pretty late and we were up all night talking, so she’s sleeping in. I’ll bring her something later though.”

[rwrbficrecs]

A combined rec list for July & August ❤️

Before This, After That by @orchidscript (book-verse)

@dot524: Henry has a serious horse-riding injury and is in a downward spiral with his recovery until Therapist Alex pulls him out of it. I liked the sharp-edges interaction between them as they fall for each other. I actually read this one a while ago and it was just as good as a reread!

The darkest part of the forest by @everwitch-magiks (book-verse)

@suseagull04: I've loved this entire series, but this was my favorite by far so far! The way the author does world building in her fics is incomparable, even in a fic this short! I would love if she decided to make this a multichapter someday!

Count The Stars and Constellations by @everwitch-magiks (book-verse)

@suseagull04: I've said it once already this month, but it bears repeating: the way the author does world building in her fics is absolutely phenomenal! This one's an outer space saga for the ages, plus it's a multichapter, so we get to see Alex and Henry fall in love over the span of several years, and it's a bit angsty, but absolutely worth it!

An Exquisite Temptation by @tinyarmedtrex (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Henry became a Catholic priest to escape his homophobic family. Never did he expect to meet a stunningly attractive and equally charming, mouthy Texan who would seriously challenge his devout faith. Y'all can guess where this is headed, right? Delicious in so many ways: emotional, full of ‘80s vibes, angsty, smutty—an absolute masterpiece! Chef’s kiss!

How to get over Henry Fox: A list by dazedandconfused (book-verse)

@na-dineee: This AU is set in 2002, and Alex breaks up with the love of his life Henry. Even though it's clear they’d only be apart for a year, the story is still so gut-wrenching. The hurt and angst really got to me—reading that fic is a challenge, but it's absolutely worth it.

late night devil (put your hands on me) by @nine-butterflies (book-verse)

@suseagull04: The way this author took a 4 chapter fic and gave the world so much history and lore is absolutely incredible! Plus there are so many moments of Alex and Henry's relationship that're reminiscent of the book. Everything about this fic is amazing- and it's also definitely a good fic if you're looking for something for Halloween when it arrives soon!

right there beside him (all summer long) by @theprinceandagcd (book-verse)

@daisymae-12: The winter in Australia had me craving a story with summer vibes and this fic was perfect for that. Loved everything about this fic!!

Interrupted (series) by RadioFriday (book-verse)

@dot524: Henry is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, just like his dad was. This story follows him and Alex through their painful journey, including the end of it and beyond. Read this if you’re in the mood to have your heart broken, over and over.

the very essence of love by dollarstoreannabethchase (book-verse)

@suseagull04: It's RWRB, but from Henry's POV. The angst of the original is heightened in this (believe it or not, it can be done), but that makes the ending that much sweeter, and I loved the insight into Henry's thoughts!

somewhere in your world by @callmevenji (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Prince Henry, student at Oxford, tries to reach a hook-up gone wrong – and ends up texting someone else entirely: Alex. A deep chat friendship unfolds, while simultaneously Henry begins to fall for the charismatic FSOTUS. Whether it’s the universe at work, coincidence, or fate, the pleasure of reading this heartfelt fic is indescribably beautiful !!

In the Grand Scheme of Things by @itsmaybitheway (book/movie-verse)

@suseagull04: Meet cute at a wedding, instant attraction, intellectual banter- this fic has it all! Plus this is the best AU characterization of firstprince I've seen in a while, it's fantastic!

marked by rizcriz (book/movie-verse)

@zwiazdziarka: a soulmate AU with some extra drama - Henry learns that the reason he hasn't met his soulmate was his grandmother's plotting. Extremely well executed - my heart was breaking and then singing when it all turned out well.

Someday Soon I’ll See You (But Now You’re Out of Sight) by MaryaDmitrievnaLikesSundays (book-verse)

@dot524: In the mood for some intense angst? I needed like two business days to recover from reading this one. The story is a devastating view of complex grief as different characters deal with Alex’s death. I thought that the odd and asynchronous ways the grief manifests for different people was raw, real, and well done.

peace by @raysletters (book-verse)

@suseagull04: This is the Sky High AU I didn't know I needed! I love how this isn't a carbon copy of the movie but uses each character's strengths and weaknesses- and it's also just a very cute magic high school AU, which is just the cherry on top!

Son of a Gun by foux_dogue (book-verse)

@na-dineee: I hope you’ve all read 'It's not a secret' by now? I wasn't aware until it was published, but I needed that follow-up so badly! In this fic, which can be read as a standalone, Alex cuts down his work as a tattoo artist to take care of the kids (good thing Henry is loaded) and inevitably has to deal with the Milton-Saylor Academy Mom Squad. Absolutely wholesome, full of domesticity—just like, excellent!

You Set The Tone by @iboatedhere (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Alex is an emergency room doctor and Henry a pediatrician in the same hospital, and their animosity (read: infatuation) with each other began just as unfortunate as in canon. Their gradual coming together, intertwined with the medical emergencies, is wonderfully crafted. The tension is effortlessly maintained over 70k words, never feeling contrived. I was so moved while reading, it hurt phenomenally good, and I cried more than I have in a long time.

pick your poison babe (im poison either way) by sheWritesToLiveVicariously (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Co-workers to lovers with lots of emotion and a touch of angst—it never gets old, right? This 5+1 story is part of the "little moments that pass us by" series, and like all the stories in it, it's rather short, but full of feeling, very soft, and so touching. I'm already looking forward to hopefully many more fics in this series.

Down In The Valley by @aforgottennymph (book-verse)

@daisymae-12: This Stardew Valley AU was such a lovely read and as an avid stardew valley player, I thoroughly enjoyed all the little easter eggs and references to the game. Even if you’ve never played Stardew, this is still such a sweet and delightful read!!

[daconfusedbanana]

My Fanfiction Recs: Korrasami

In 2020, I watched The Legend of Korra. (Fun fact: it helped me realize and accept that I was bi! So the show has a special place in my heart.) Crazy enough, I started reading Korrasami fanfiction the same year. For the next three years I devoured the fanfiction, and so the following list is an accumulation of my favorites. I think I've read enough to say these are some of the best. Though I haven't been into the fandom lately, I didn't want this old list to go to waste in case anyone was hunting for some good Korrasami reads.

Actually, I discovered some of my favorite stories through Tumblr blogs and am immensely grateful for those posters for sharing their lists. This is my way of paying it forward. Hope someone can enjoy these like I did.

I divvied these up in a way that only made sense to past me. Linked the Ao3 in titles. (You might have to be logged in to see some of these.) I tried to add some commentary for each. Also, I highlighted the ones in blue I really recommend you to read, though I do think everything here is worth a read! Without further ado, here is my compiled list of (Korrasami):

fanfics (that are actually quality)

beautiful prose & the feels

The Everthere by guileheroine My favorite one of them all. I would argue this is one of the best fanfics, if you like a cozy and character-driven read. You really get into Korra and Asami's heads and moods. Slow burn but so, so worth it. I've read this one three times.

Nightmares and Daydreams by Dispari It's been a while since I read this one, but I had a note saying this is "maybe my 2nd fave". Similar tone to The Everthere.

it’s such a gorgeous sight to see you in the middle of the night by badkids This is on almost every recommendation list I've seen. For a reason. College AU. Some angst but a whole lot of fluff and some humor and of course, dorkiness. Another cozy read. The title is from that The Cure song and is also one of my favorite lyrics ever.

like broken thunder by neurolingual Camp counselor AU. All of this writer's works are amazing. They truly have a gift for writing beautiful prose. This time, it's Asami pining for Korra, a different perspective from most fanfics.

I don't remember these as well, but I do remember them being very good and well worth a read. (I know I reread some of these.) And I haven't seen some of these on other lists, so I guess there are some hidden gems in the mix. Some shorter parenthetical notes here.

this winter, you're here by camphollstein (Modern AU. Asami POV. I think Asami was the one pining here. I also liked the family feels.)

all the choirs in my head sing, no by lupine (Canon AU. Short and cute.)

waiting for my chance to come by badkids (Sequel to it’s such a gorgeous sight to see you in the middle of the night)

if these sheets were the states by neurolingual (canon, sad with happy ending, pining/yearning, oh also Asami Pining)

be a girl like any other by neurolingual (grocery store au)

these little moments that lead me to you by raininthesea (quietly beautiful writing)

meet me at the rooftop's edge (at 3 am) by raininthesea (college au)

Out of the Woods series by ariadnerue (canon if I recall right? very feels)

One on One by paxbanana (canon. Asami Pining!)

Auld Lang Syne by aizia (modern au. how to tell your best friend you love her on new year's.)

Prison My Eyes by wreckofherheart (beautiful, canon divergence between books 3 and 4)

unique story

The Honeymooners by hellorhogwartsfics Honestly, should fall under the above category too, but the story really stood out. It was a wild ride! Modern AU. Asami is a jilted bride and her best friend Korra is there for her to take the place of her husband for the honeymoon. I'm a big fan of this author's humor too.

Brittle Wires by golari This was such a unique AU and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Maybe my 3rd fave. The way they wrote Korra and Asami here was so unique. Their interactions are subtle but meaningful. I'm also a fan of nerdy Korra and a secretly pining Asami. It shows the work as unfinished, but it's complete since the author was just thinking of adding an Asami POV chapter.

and you lift me up in a wave of love by overnights (Surfer AU, this one gave me a warm feeling I recall. Read it if you like the beach and sand. And rock.)

Maybe by selftaughthuman (Beautiful one-shot, feels, set in Boston)

Permeate by contronym (Mechanic AU, 2nd person POV, lil cliché but beautiful prose makes up for it)

humor!

An odd category, I know. But some of these really made me laugh out loud, all snorting and uglylike. Enjoy.

All These Lines Are Blurring by hellorhogwartsfics Vegas AU baby! I laughed so hard I cried at times. Opal is amazing here. I've read all of this author's Korrasami works.

Quick Bright Things by LadyRavenEye Oh, this one was absolutely wonderful. Do not skip the footnotes, that's where the humor is! Fake marriage AU. Both are oblivious.

p = mgh (potential) by the_oreo (another damn college au, crack lol, frivolously fantastic)

Paradiddle by bazaar (marching band au, very fluffy)

Sato, #22, Shooting Guard by MidoriAkiko (I don’t remember this much, but it’s slapstick funny. some angst tho. slow burn like most on this list)

fluffy and light-hearted

Direct to Video by Emirael (another college au, so much damn fluff)

Company by golari (both are nerds! cute and informative)

Time for You by AnotherShotofBourbon (soulmate oneshot, dorky)

cooler than the flip side of my pillow by camphollstein (FLUFF also literally)

Absolute Beginners by ReneeMontoya (college au! pining)

That's it! There's a lot more great ones out there, but these were just ones that personally stood out to me. I also wanted to highlight some lesser-known ones and give them some love! Hopefully this list was useful to some soul out there craving for some good stories about our girls. Happy reading! :)

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things The Dustin Experiment Review

If you haven't yet, be sure to check out my other Stranger Things Reviews:

Stranger Things Reviews/Theories:

Stranger Things Play:

Stranger Things The First Shadow

Stranger Things Comics/Graphic Novels:

Stranger Things Six

Stranger Things Halloween Special

Stranger Things The Other Side

Stranger Things Zombie Boys

Stranger Things The Bully

Stranger Things Winter Special

Stranger Things Tomb of Ybwen

Stranger Things Into The Fire

Stranger Things Science Camp

Stranger Things “The Game Master” and “Erica’s Quest”

Stranger Things and Dungeons and Dragons

Stranger Things Kamchatka

Stranger Things Erica The Great

Stranger Things “Creature Feature” and “Summer Special”

Stranger Things Tales From Hawkins

Stranger Things x Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Crossover

Stranger Things The Voyage

Stranger Things “Deliver Me From Evil”

Stranger Things Tie-In Books:

Stranger Things Suspicious Minds

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 1 of 3)

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 2 of 3)

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 3 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 1 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 2 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 3 of 3)

Stranger Things Rebel Robin Book and Podcast (Part 1 of 2)

Stranger Things Rebel Robin Book and Podcast (Part 2 of 2)

Stranger Things Hawkins Horrors Review

Stranger Things Flight Of Icarus

Stranger Things Lucas On The Line

Stranger Things Episode Reviews:

The Vanishing of Will Byers (Part 1 of 2)

The Vanishing of Will Byers (Part 2 of 2)

Synopsis: Following the Battle of Starcourt, Dustin attempts to adjust to life in high school as he deals with the fallout of being targeted by bullies and his friends growing distant. When he learns of a science fair taking place in Indianapolis, Dustin enlists the help of Eddie Munson to get the project off the ground as he begins to consider his future.............

Observations:

I ended up reading this book twice, prior to the 2024 Election. First time was difficult to get through due to a slow beginning and my mixed feelings about the last 4-5 pages. Rereading it a second time and thinking things through was a more positive experience, and I ended up having a lot of fun with the story, especially when it came to Dustin's science project and his personal adventure at the science fair.

In terms of how I'd rank it, I'd say it's definitely better than last year's Flight of Icarus, and even a cut above Lucas on the Line due to not having continuity errors. However, it's not quite to the level of Rebel Robin or my Top 5 best tie-ins in the series. There were issues with it, but the book does a good job sticking after you've finished it, and what it presents does make me excited for the direction they could go with Dustin in season 5.

I'll start with the parts I took issue with, and work my way up to the positives that made the book worth reading:

Part 1: Bullying (i.e. The First 3rd of the Book)

Those who have followed my blog know I don't have any patience for bullies. In fact, when it comes to Stranger Things and the themes it explores, I have a harder time watching scenes with characters like Troy, James, Tommy, Carol, Billy, Jason, Angela, the Rink-O-Mania crowd, and Two, in comparison with the horror aspects like the Upside Down, the Mind Flayer, and Vecna. A lot of it has to do with how the bullying is uncomfortably grounded in reality, as well as a lifetime of experience on my end dealing with people like this (both on social media and off it). The last year alone especially has been eye-opening with how shamelessly vile and hypocritical some people will be, especially if they think they can get away with it. It's gotten to the point I'm not hesitant anymore about blocking people, or dragging them over the coals if they continue to poke the bear one too many times. At some point, you either develop tougher skin and a "No patience for bullshit" attitude, or you continue to be a target and a dormant for these people. I chose the former.

Having read Lucas on the Line beforehand, I knew that a story focusing on Dustin between seasons 3 and 4 was bound to focus on him and Mike getting bullied, and wasn't surprised when they depicted it in all of its ugliness:

I'll be honest in admitting I never liked Jason as a character. When I first saw season 4, I pegged him immediately as self-absorbed and coasting on self-righteousness and arrogance (even before Chrissy got brutally murdered), and the way things played out did NOTHING to alter that perception. While I initially felt bad for him over the grief and anger of losing Chrissy, that immediately vanished the moment he whipped the townsfolk into conducting a witch hunt against the Hellfire Club without giving a damn about whether innocent people would be hurt in the process (which they were).

Since the release of Season 4, and the subsequent tie-ins that have accompanied it, my opinion of Jason has NOT improved, especially with how this book, Lucas on the Line, and Flight of Icarus depict him as a bully with his own prejudices and anger issues that would lead him to look for any excuse to pick fights with people he didn't like.

I would go as far to argue that Chrissy's death didn't turn him into a monster so much as it brought out the nastier aspects of his character that were already there to begin with. This dude was a timebomb waiting to detonate, and even if Chrissy hadn't died, something was eventually bound to set him off.

On top of that, Jason's treatment of Mike in this book is pretty awful, and only made him more detestable. It also makes his not-so-subtle threat to Nancy in "Papa" about going after Mike a lot more heinous in hindsight:

The book helps flesh-out Mike and Dustin's irritation with Lucas wanting to join the basketball team and why they have a problem with it. It also give context into why they believed Lucas was deluding himself when he claimed this would allow him, Mike, and Dustin to become popular in High School and therefore untouchable to bullies: That was ALWAYS a fantasy that was never going to happen. Jason and his squad were repeatedly awful to Mike and Dustin during their first year of high school, and no amount of Lucas kissing up to Jason was going to change that. Their frustration with Lucas was less about him wanting to play basketball (though neither of them show much enthusiasm for the sport to begin with) and more about wanting Lucas to wake up and realize how much of an asshole Jason and his buddies are.

I've seen fans criticize Mike and Dustin in the season 4 premiere for skipping Lucas's championship game to do Eddie's D&D campaign, and while I initially could understand that position, having time to reevaluate has made me realize they probably made the right call in hindsight. For all of his flaws, Eddie accepted Mike and Dustin and gave them sanctuary within the Hellfire Club, which made their lives in high school bearable. He even offered that same courtesy to Lucas in spite of Lucas also doing basketball (something that Jason had no intention of ever doing for Mike or Dustin while they were a part of Hellfire Club). Whatever acceptance Jason initially gave Lucas (which arguably had a lot to do with Lucas making the winning shot in the championship compared to if Lucas had messed up and cost them the game) came with strings attached. The moment Lucas crossed Jason is the moment he would become Jason's enemy, regardless of the reasons.

All of this makes me indifferent towards Jason's eventual fate. I'm not going to say I was glad he died, but at the same time, my sympathy was nonexistent by the time he bit the dust. Some people might call what happened to him Karmic Overkill, but Stranger Things has always made a point in demonstrating that karma doesn't distribute itself how you want it to. Decent characters like Barbara, Chrissy, Benny, Bob, and Eddie all suffered horrific fates they didn't deserve, whereas awful people like Troy, Tommy, Carol, Colonel Sullivan, Dr. Brenner, and Angela were lucky if they got any sort of comeuppance. Hell, Angela is one of the most loathsome characters in the entire series, and the best she received for her sadism and public humiliation of El was a Grade 2 concussion as opposed to the grisly death she arguably deserved.

Hell, I would go as far as to argue everyone in Rink-O-Mania who took part in El's bullying deserved a gruesome end a la Stephen King's Carrie, but I don't get to make that decision, and neither did El. They're all disgusting people devoid of any redeeming qualities, and I won't feel bad when they're eventually on the receiving end of the cruelty they've dished out (especially since none of them have the self-awareness to recognize how mean-spirited they are), but the cold hard reality is people like Angela and her ilk get away with that kind of behavior in real life (as we just saw a few weeks ago with the 2024 U.S. Elections). Characters like Angela and Jason getting any sort of consequences for their behavior, even if it's small, is cathartic for me, and that's not something I'm going to apologize for.

I will say that, for all the bullying Dustin experiences in this book, he handles it in a mature manner. A lot of this has to do with Dustin having life experience dealing with this kind of crap, and recognizing how pathetic and unoriginal it is:

Out of all the characters in the Party, Dustin is the one who adapts well to his environment, and it's a big reason he's been able to survive the hardships life throws at him. It's something I admire about his character.

Part 2: Dustin's Friendships/Relationships

Adding on what I previously said, it's notable Dustin is the one who makes friends the easiest. He may have come late to the Party (around 4th grade, according to him), but he was able to integrate seamlessly with Mike, Lucas, and Will, which is something the comic Stranger Things and Dungeons & Dragons depicts:

A good chunk of this has to do with Dustin working to find common ground with people and seeing the positive merits in others. It's how he developed his friendship with Steve and looks up to him in a big-brotherly way. It's how he formed a bond with Eddie in this novel. It's even how he's able to reach across the isle towards people like Ankia (who initially has a haughty attitude towards Dustin before she mellows out), or Danny, or Suzie, or the kids at Science Camp as depicted in that comic:

It's a good life skill that will serve him well when (and if) he leaves Hawkins alive.

A central focus in this book is Dustin reevaluating what he wants in his life, as well as how he views his relationships. Since the events of the Battle of Starcourt, the Party has split, and Dustin feels he's been left to fend for himself. In many ways, the structure of the story echos what Lucas went through in Lucas on the Line, except in this instance, it's Dustin aiming to try out something new in order to deal with the changes in his life. While Lucas veered into basketball, Dustin decided to put his intellect to use by entering a science contest. Unfortunately for him, neither of his friends express much interest in his passion: Max is depressed and isolated following Billy's death and Neil leaving her mom, Mike has shut himself away following Will and El's departure from Hawkins, and Lucas is in basketball training and hanging out with Jason's jock friends, which causes friction between Dustin and Lucas. The most support he gets for the project is from his mother and Eddie.

Speaking of Eddie, his introduction doesn't disappoint. Just like in Flight of Icarus, Eddie is someone who's moved past caring how others think of him (something Dustin respects him for), has no issue publicly calling out Jason and his jocks for their bullying, and is quick to adopt Mike and Dustin into the Hellfire Club (and later Lucas as well). Dustin's desire to impress Eddie, first by fixing his walkman and later his AMP box, is what inspires Dustin's science project: A Super AMP box of his own that would allow Dustin to record sounds, play them back, and measure changes in distortion and signal-to-noise ratios. With some encouragement from Eddie (as well as a promise for a drive to the fair and an arrangement to listen to Eddie's playlist of Heavy Metal music), Dustin heads out on his own side-quest (as he cheekily puts it).

The friendship between Dustin and Eddie is a highlight, and Eddie's attempts at helping Dustin are hilarious as well as heartwarming. Eddie is someone who likes Dustin for who he is, and encourages him to not let others tell him who he should be:

In many ways, Eddie reminds me of Jay from Lucas on the Line who also acted like a mentor figure/friend to Lucas, and motivated Lucas to be his true self.

The tragedy is, in spite of both Jay and Eddie being positive influences for Lucas and Dustin, both of them were cruelly driven out: Jay was forced to move after being targeted in a racist attack against him, whereas Eddie got scapegoated for Chrissy's death and died before he got to clear his name. It's a parallel that reminds me of Karen's words to Nancy in season 3: "This world, it beats you up again and again until eventually........most people, they just stop trying." Both Dustin and Lucas have always been fighters (same with the other members of the Party), but it doesn't make it any easier that the people they care about disappear from their lives when they're at their most vulnerable.

Speaking of vulnerable, part of the conflict Dustin has with his friends is also similar to Lucas's conflict in Lucas on the Line where both characters are going through their own hardships and assessing whether their friends will actually be there for them. Dustin does clash heads with Lucas over basketball, but a good chunk of that has to do with the crowd Lucas is hanging out with. Dustin knows Jason and his jocks are NOT nice people, and is baffled over why Lucas would want to be someone like that:

It takes some time, and a few missteps, but Dustin is able to eventually not only see Lucas's perspective, but also Mike's perspective regarding his issues, and make amends with both of them before things permanently fall apart:

This isn't much of a spoiler since the group is united again at the end of season 4, but the suspense leading up to that point comes from HOW they're able to keep their friendship together in spite of life's tribulations. There's a moving scene at the Video Rental Store where Robin and Steve hold an intervention to get Mike, Dustin, and Lucas to reconcile. During it, each find out that, despite the surface differences, their fears are similar in nature: Behind Left Behind. Losing friends. Failing the people they care about. Their bond is a lot stronger than they give it credit for. And as Steve notes, a lot of the problems they're having are manageable if they're willing to talk through it:

Speaking of Steve, it was nice seeing the book cover his relationship with Dustin. Just like in season 2, Steve takes on the role of mentor as Dustin keeps barging into his workplace (oftentimes before Steve closes, or else scaring off customers in the process) to vent about his issues. Steve, of course, takes it in stride, and offers what advice he can (along with the new video releases that Dustin is interested in).

I was initially worried this book would feature petty jealousy and contrived drama between Steve and Eddie over which of them Dustin liked the best as a friend (similar to what the show Supernatural did with Sam and Dean Winchester in Season 8 when they introduced the vampire character Benny and tried to play him as the new "brother" that Dean wanted over Sam). Thankfully, the book steers clear of that. We get brief glimpses that Steve is insecure that Dustin has started to lose interest in him as a friend (something that Dustin refutes in the narration), but Steve never becomes actively malicious against Eddie or tries to prevent Dustin from seeing Eddie (which is in direct contrast to how the Benny/Dean/Sam drama played out in Supernatural). The regrettable thing is that, had Steve and Eddie talked beforehand (similar to how Steve was encouraging Dustin to talk to Mike and Lucas before making any rash decisions), they could have become friends a lot earlier before season 4. 😞

Suzie also makes an appearance, and just like with Steve, she acts as an encouraging presence and voice of reason for Dustin as he's navigating high school. Their interactions are sweet without being over-the-top, and they even run a book club where they discuss novels they're reading together. In fact, compared to Mike and El's stilted communication while they're apart in different states, Dustin and Suzie are a lot more open with each other about what's going on in their lives (minus anything to do with the Upside Down). It makes their relationship look healthy in comparison.

I know people see Suzie as a "take-or-leave" character, but I like her, and I'm glad Dustin and her are a couple. I'm not sure what the future holds for them, but I hope she is eventually clued in to the Upside Down. I'm also hoping we get to see her interact with other characters besides Dustin (like she did with Mike, Will, Jonathan, and Argyle in season 4) and maybe even have some kind of role in helping Dustin against Vecna's army. Who knows? Her intelligence and love for fantasy could be put to good use in that situation.

We also see a little more of Dustin's friendship with Will in how they keep in touch via letters. It's a relationship that remains solid, with a nice balance between Dustin's intellectual side and Will's perceptiveness. Will encourages Dustin with his science project, and gives advice to Dustin regarding his difficulties with Mike and Lucas, as well as what he should do with his future:

There is something to be said about Dustin and Will being the glue that holds the Party together. Considering that Dustin is able to talk about his problems easier with Will in letters than he's able to with Mike or Lucas, it gives the impression that, out of all the members of the Party, Dustin is able to relate better to Will. Or maybe it's because it's easier for Will to speak openly about his thoughts and emotions, compared to Lucas and Mike who struggle more.

Dustin's interactions with Max and El are shown briefly, but aren't given the same in-depth look as his other relationships. Dustin is aware of Max's depression and living situation (and later finds out she broke up with Lucas) and does what he can in offering to be there for her. As for El, while he doesn't know the particulars, he picks up pretty quickly that El is unhappy in Lenora for reasons that are obvious to the audience (May Angela continue to get hit in the face with a heavy object every day for the rest of her miserable life). 😒

Finally, there's Dustin's relationship with his parents. The few interactions I've seen between Ms. Henderson and Dustin have always given the impression they're close and that they do a good job supporting one another, and this book confirms that. She knows that her son is a genius and allows him to nurture his creativity and scientific interests (even as she's having to call the power company multiple times since Dustin uses up the electricity in the house). I like their mother/son relationship, and I'm disappointed she's not coming back for season 5.

As for Mr. Henderson..............Dustin sums it up best to Eddie:

This is pretty consistent with how Walter Henderson was depicted in The First Shadow, and I'm glad the book includes this nod to the play.

Part 3: The Science Fair

The middle part of the book, which deals with Dustin building his "Bard Box" (i.e. the AMP box he uses to record sounds) and his adventure with Eddie in Indianapolis, was my favorite part. Not only does it feature great bonding moments between Dustin and Eddie (including the hilarious revelation that Eddie has a fear of ducks), but there's a fun mystery Dustin stumbles upon while he's at the fair that allows him to put his deductive skills to work. It's a plot with similarities to the comic Science Camp in that Dustin meets a group of nerds like him whom he befriends and they work to track down a culprit with malicious intentions.

Just like with Science Camp, I won't reveal the particulars or who the culprit is, but it was pretty easy to figure out the culprit's identity. However, the journey with Dustin and the new friends he makes is enjoyable, and I wouldn't mind seeing those characters again in a future tie-in. There's also a fun bit with Eddie having to look after a duck named Frodo Quackins (yes, that's actually his name) and his ability to improvise and entertain people:

If Eddie had survived, he could have had a career in theater, and he would have been good in it. 😞

All of this leads up to a moment where Dustin is offered the opportunity to escape Hawkins and attend a prestigious science school called Eastwood. And the remainder of the book deals with Dustin struggling over whether to accept the offer or not.

Based on how season 4 went, you can already guess how that panned out.

And this brings me to where Dustin's story goes from here......

Part 4: Dustin's Future in Season 5

I've speculated for a while that, just like with Nancy's crusade to get justice for Barbara in season 2, Dustin will be trying to clear Eddie's name in season 5 for Vecna's murders. Based on the BTS photos they've released, it looks like there's a long road ahead for him:

I'm hoping there's a major payoff to this potential arc beyond just clearing Eddie's name. Part of the reason I brought up bullies like Jason and Angela earlier in this review is because I've started to grow sick of seeing the main characters repeatedly getting dumped on while receiving zero credit for putting their lives on the line to save the world. Meanwhile, assholes like Angela and Jason make the main characters lives a living hell, all the while enabled by the people around them, and are either coddled for their behavior (Angela) or memorialized for it (Jason). While I doubt Angela or any characters from Lenora (including Argyle) are coming back for season 5 (though if she does return for some reason, I hope Vecna causes Angela's head to explode), I have a sick feeling that Jason's hold over Hawkins will still be there by season 5, and characters like Dustin will be dealing with the fallout of Jason's crusade. Whether it's in the form of Jason's basketball team taking revenge for their fallen comrade, or Hawkins residents swallowing the propaganda about the Hellfire Club being a Satanic Cult, I expect life isn't going to be easy for a while. That's not even getting into how Dustin will still be grieving Eddie's death and having to put up with the slander thrown Eddie's way.

What I'm hoping for is that, during all of this, there is an eventual reckoning for Hawkins. That the residents are forced to come face-to-face with the lies, the bigotry, the prejudices, the bullying, and all the uglier aspects rooted in the town's social structures and history. I'm not going to be happy if the townsfolk remain passive while reacting to the horrors around them as the main characters are forced to do the heavy lifting in keeping Hawkins safe. We've seen that for 4 seasons now. It's old and tired. The status quo needs to be broken in a major way that forces changes in Hawkins which will actually stick. The show has hinted in season 4 that it could go in this direction, especially with Vecna destroying the town and opening a large gate, and I'm hoping season 5 makes the most of it.

There are plenty of stories out there that have done this. J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings did this with the Scourging of the Shire where the Hobbits had their lands decimated by Saruman and his men, and were forced to take up arms and become self-reliant in fighting back and no longer remaining isolated from the world around them. Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood also did something similar where the main characters were forced into a reckoning with how the nation of Amestris was formed, as well as the corruption rooted in its government, and make hard but necessary changes that would bring peace to the world and allow for a better future. That is the kind of arc I hope Stranger Things explores with Hawkins in the last season. Not just having the main characters receive credit for defeating Vecna and the Upside Down, but actually having the residents of Hawkins play a role in that and go through a permanent change in the process.

As for Dustin.........if he survives the events of season 5, I hope he gets the opportunity to leave Hawkins and pursue his scientific interests in a way that makes him happy and allows him to keep in contact with his friends and family. He deserves that much.

[quinzzelx]

Stars of Solace

Cassian x Fem!Reader

Request: Would you pretty pretty please do cass looking after you after some bad news. [...]

Summary: You received some bad news regarding your family, Cassian finds you on the roof and comforts you, leading to a shared moment of love.

Word Count: 2k, A little shorter than usual.

Warning: Loss of a loved one, otherwise pure fluff!!

A/N: I hope you like it! This is on the shorter end but I still really enjoyed writing some soft boy Cassian!! ☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆

The wind was harsh atop the House of Wind, buffeting against you with an almost relentless force. Your hands clutched the crumpled letter, its edges frayed by the constant folding and unfolding as you read and reread the words that had shattered your heart. The sun dipped low on the horizon, painting the sky in shades of bleeding oranges and purples, but the beauty of it felt hollow, the colors a mockery to the darkness swelling within you.

Your brother, the constant in your tumultuous life, the one who had survived with you through the coldest, harshest winters of the Winter Court, had been killed in an attack on your village. The news had come unexpectedly, a cruel twist in what had been a peaceful chapter of your life in Velaris. Tears had long since dried on your cheeks, but your heart continued to weep, inconsolable in its loss.

You didn’t hear Cassian approach, his steps silent against the stone of the roof. It was only when his large, warm hand touched your shoulder that you realized you were no longer alone. You didn't need to look up to know it was him; his presence was a familiar comfort, a steady force amidst the chaos of your emotions.

“Hey,” he said softly, his voice a gentle rumble. He didn’t ask if you were okay. The letter in your hands told him everything he needed to know.

You shifted slightly, allowing him to sit beside you. Cassian didn’t speak. Instead, he sat close, his shoulder pressed against yours, sharing his warmth. The two of you watched the sun’s last light vanish, leaving the world to the soft embrace of twilight.

“It was an attack,” you finally whispered, your voice hoarse. “He didn’t make it. He... he saved two children. He died a hero.” The words were a lump in your throat, pride and pain mingling in a bitter concoction.

Cassian’s hand found yours, fingers intertwining with a grip that was both firm and infinitely gentle. “He was brave, just like his sister,” he said, his tone imbued with respect and sorrow for your loss.

You leaned your head against his shoulder, the fight to keep your composure wavering under his empathetic presence. “I should have been there. I could have—”

“Stop,” Cassian interrupted softly but firmly. “This isn’t on you. There’s nothing you could’ve done from here. He made his choice, a brave one, to protect others. It’s a choice worthy of honor, not guilt.”

The tears came again, and this time you didn’t hold them back. Cassian shifted, pulling you into his embrace, a shield against the relentless wind and your own spiraling thoughts. His wings unfurled slightly, wrapping around the two of you in a cocoon of warmth and safety.

“You’re not alone in this,” he murmured into your hair. “I’ve got you. We all do. Let us share this burden with you.”

In the sanctuary of his arms, surrounded by the strength of his wings, you allowed yourself to feel the full weight of your grief. Cassian held you through it all, his presence a silent vow of unwavering support. Time lost meaning as he held space for your sorrow, proving once again that in the face of pain, you did not have to stand alone.

As the stars began to pepper the sky, you felt a tiny flicker of solace in the darkness. With Cassian by your side, you knew you would find a way to navigate this grief. Together, beneath the vast, unending skies of Velaris, you would begin to heal.

The cool night air carried the faint scent of sea and jasmine from the gardens below, a reminder of life's continuity even amidst loss.

"You didn't choose this path for him, love," Cassian whispered, his breath warm against your ear. Each word was carefully chosen, meant to soothe the tumult within you. "He chose his actions based on his courage, his love for others. You taught him that courage, just by being who you are."

The guilt that gnawed at your insides made it hard to breathe, hard to accept his words, but the sincerity in Cassian's voice, the unwavering strength in his embrace, coaxed the tightness in your chest to ease, if only slightly.

"Look at the sky, love," he continued, guiding your gaze upwards with a gentle tilt of his head. "See how each star shines brightly, fiercely against the darkness? That’s how he lived—brightly, fiercely. And that’s how he’ll be remembered. Not for the moment he was taken from us, but for all the moments he lit up the lives around him."

His hand cupped your face, turning it back to meet his gaze. In the dim light, his eyes were a stormy sea of compassion and pain—pain for your hurt more than anything else.

"You carry him with you," Cassian said, his thumb wiping away a tear that had escaped down your cheek. "In your memories, in your heart, in every good deed you do, he’s there. Let the love you have for him be what drives you forward, not the guilt, not the ‘what ifs’. He wouldn’t have wanted that for you, (Y/N) "

You nodded, the lump in your throat easing as his words washed over you, a healing balm to the raw edges of your soul.

"And whenever it gets too much," he added, pulling you back into the shelter of his arms and wings, "remember that I’m right here. I'll hold you, just like this, until you feel strong enough to stand again. You’re not alone—not now, not ever."

In the sanctuary of Cassian’s arms, surrounded by the comforting weight of his wings, you felt the first thread of peace weave through your grief. His heartbeat against your ear was a steady drum, a grounding force in the swirling chaos of loss. As you sniffled, the weight of your sorrow still heavy upon your heart, you felt Cassian's gaze upon you, unwavering and tender. Meeting his eyes, you couldn't help but notice the way they seemed to hold entire constellations within them—stars of compassion, understanding, and love, twinkling in the darkness of your grief.

His features, carved with precision and strength, softened as he watched you, his smile a beacon of reassurance amidst the storm of emotions. You tried to look away, to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks at being caught, but his hand under your chin gently urged you to meet his gaze once more.

"There she is," he said, his voice low and teasing, a hint of mischief dancing in his eyes. His smirk tugged at the corners of his lips, a silent acknowledgment of your shared moment of vulnerability. Caught off guard, you felt the blush deepen, warmth spreading from your cheeks to the tips of your ears. You attempted to look away again, but his touch kept you rooted, his thumb brushing lightly against your skin in a gesture both comforting and electrifying.

"None of that now," he murmured, his tone soft but insistent. "I want to see your pretty face."

His words, delivered with a playful lilt, sent a flutter through your chest, a warmth that chased away some of the chill of your sorrow. It was a borderline flirtation, a reminder of the connection between you that transcended words—something deeper, something unspoken but felt in every shared glance, every brush of fingertips. Meeting his gaze once more, you allowed yourself a small smile. As you did, Cassian softly caressed your cheek, his calloused fingertips from fighting too many battles tracing gentle patterns on your skin. The contrast of his rough touch and the tender motion was soothing, grounding. Your heart pounded with a mixture of emotions, each beat echoing louder in the stillness of the night.

His breath fanned over your face, warm and steady, mingling with the cool air around you. It was intimate, the space between you charged with an energy that was palpable. Cassian's thumb then swiped softly over your bottom lip, a touch so light yet so full of meaning, drawing your breath to catch in your throat. His eyes, intense and unyielding, searched your face as if memorizing every detail, his gaze lingering particularly where his thumb rested.

"You've got this incredible strength about you," he said, his voice low and full of admiration. "Even now, with your heart heavy, you're here, fighting through it. It's one of the many things I..." He paused, his eyes flickering with a hint of vulnerability before firming up with resolve. "... admire about you."

His thumb pulled away slightly, but his hand remained, cupping your face warmly, grounding you to the moment, to him. His presence felt like a shield, protecting you from the remnants of your despair. His gaze held yours, unwavering and filled with an emotion that beckoned you closer, urged you to lean into his strength and warmth.

"In times like these, I want you to remember that you're not alone. I'm here, always," Cassian continued, his voice firm yet gentle, a silent promise hanging between the words. His other arm encircled your waist, pulling you closer.

As you leaned into the warmth of Cassian’s embrace, feeling the steady beat of his heart and the comforting strength of his arms around you, the tension in your body began to melt away. His words had been like a beacon in the night, guiding you back to a place of safety and assurance.

"I can't tell you how much that means to me, Cassian," you responded, your voice barely above a whisper, filled with a gratitude that welled up from deep within.

He smiled softly at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling in a way that always made your heart skip. "Anything for you," he said sincerely, his gaze locked with yours.

Then, after a moment, the intensity in his eyes shifted, giving way to a playful glint. He tilted his head slightly, his lips quirking up in a mischievous smile. "Would it be a bad moment to ask if I could kiss you?" he asked, his voice a mix of earnest and teasing.

The question, unexpected yet so very Cassian, broke through the somber mood, drawing a soft laugh from you. It was a sound that felt good to release, lightening your spirit and easing the remnants of sadness.

"No, it wouldn't be a bad moment," you replied, your smile growing as you looked up at him through your lashes, touched by his ability to bring levity back into your world, even in the midst of pain. His eyes lit up with joy at your response, and he leaned in closer, his breath mingling with yours. "Good," he murmured, "because I've been wanting to do this all evening."

And with that, Cassian closed the small distance between you, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that was gentle yet full of the emotions that had been simmering between you both. It was a kiss that spoke of comfort, of shared strength, and a promise of support through whatever might come. In that kiss, the last remnants of the day’s weight seemed to dissolve, replaced by a shared connection that felt both grounding and uplifting.

As you pulled away slightly, still close enough to feel his breath on your skin, you realized that with Cassian by your side, you felt stronger and more capable of facing the days ahead. And in that beautiful, starlit night, laughter and love found a way to coexist with sorrow.

☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆

I loooooove Cassian!!! He's so soft but also so rough? Golden Retriever warrior BF!!!! This is shorter, but I still really enjoyed writing this!

[helloalycia]

𝐍𝐎 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐁𝐘𝐄𝐒 [𝐎𝐍𝐄] — 𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐍

summary: when Katniss gets sick and doesn't show any signs of getting better, you fear the worst and have to do whatever you can to make sure she does.

warning/s: mentions of dying + usual warnings that come with writing for the hunger games.

author's note: thanks to everyone who voted on my first lil poll yesterday haha, here’s the katniss one that won! there’s 2 parts and it was written after i just reread all the hunger games books and became hyperfixated on katniss again lmao

i’ll post the jackie taylor yellowjackets one after this for anyone who voted that too :)

two / masterlist / wattpad

I tightened the woolly scarf around my neck, hoping it would do something to keep the cold, bitter air out despite its flimsiness. Winter in District 12 could be unforgiving, but by the look of things from the front window, it hadn't snowed anymore last night.

"I'm leaving, mum!" I called from the front door, grabbing my school bag.

"Have a nice day, hon!" she called back from the kitchen.

When I left my house, the first thing I stepped foot in was grey slush, and I wasn't sure if that was worse than a blizzard at this point. Nonetheless, I sucked it up and headed over to my best friend Katniss' house, not far from my own in the poor, ragged part of the district, the Seam.

We always met at her place before school since it was on the way and we could walk in together, but when I arrived, her little sister, Primrose, answered and looked worried.

"Hey, darling, what's up?" I asked, accepting the hug she gave me as I stepped inside.

"It's Katniss," she muttered. "She won't get out of bed."

Trying not to show my concern, I said, "I'll go check on her. You finish getting ready so we're not late, yeah?"

She nodded and I watched her go into the kitchen to finish her breakfast with her mum, the older woman offering a small smile when she saw me. I returned it before letting myself into the other room of their house, the bedroom that all three of them shared. Inside, Katniss was still in her bed, under the covers and blocking out the light. Whether she was awake, I wasn't sure, but this was certainly unlike her.

"Katniss?" I called, shaking her body slightly. "We're gonna be late, you've gotta get up."

She groaned slightly, not appreciating my interruption, and then seemed to realise what was happening as she rolled over, eyes squinted with confusion.

"Huh? What are you doing?" she mumbled, rubbing her face, and her voice was raspier than usual.

"It's time for school," I said knowingly, before frowning when I saw her cover her eyes with her hand. "Why are you still in bed? Prim has been trying to wake you."

"What...? I don't..." She stopped, before attempting to sit upright, but she squeezed her eyes shut and steadied herself on the bed.

"Hey," I said, much more concerned now, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. "You're not okay. Is it your head?"

She clutched her forehead, breathing out slowly. "I don't know. It hurts, it– god, it's bright in here."

I frowned, taking in her pained expression and connecting all the dots. "You're sick. You should stay home today. Get better."

As if I'd accused her of murder, Katniss shook her head and pulled the duvet off her with determination. "I'm not. I'm fine, I–" But just on cue, a throaty cough rattled her.

"I can stay home if you want," I offered, already pulling the duvet back on her. "Help you."

The last thing I wanted was to leave her alone whilst she was ill. Technically her mother would be here, but she wasn't the most attentive since she'd lost her husband, so it was essentially like leaving Katniss alone.

"No, you don't need to," Katniss gave in with a sigh.

"I don't mind," I offered, resting a hand on hers. "I can–"

"It's one day," she assured me, before clearing her throat. "I'll be okay. Go. Please. Or you'll be late."

I sighed disapprovingly before nodding, knowing one day of rest would hopefully prove to be useful. I leaned forward to hug her, about to wish her well, but she shoved me back quickly.

"Don't or you'll get sick," she argued tiredly, making me rub my chest where she shoved me.

"Ow," I said with annoyance, before rolling my eyes and standing up. "Very well. Lay down at least."

Thankfully, she obeyed which was how I knew she must've really felt rundown. Pulling the duvet to her shoulders, I tucked her in before wishing her well and leaving the room. After letting her mum know what was wrong and to keep an eye on her, Prim and I left the house together.

"She's okay, right?" the twelve-year-old asked me as we trudged through the muddy snow.

"Oh yeah, of course," I reassured her with a smile. "It's nothing. Just that time of year."

This seemed to work, as Prim sighed with relief before smiling too. But deep down, a small part of me was a little worried. Firstly, Katniss never got sick, ever. And secondly, whereas a cold might not take some people out, it could be the difference between life and death in a place where it was freezing and had no electricity. I only hoped she'd be able to sleep it off and recover soon.

All day I was thinking of Katniss, unable to focus much at school. When the final bell rang and we were finally let out, I was relieved, only wanting to check on her and hopefully see some improvement. Our friend, Gale, accompanied Prim and I back home, since he lived in the Seam also, and we all went to the Everdeens to see if Katniss was okay.

When we reached their house, we saw Mrs Everdeen helping someone out as part of her job as a healer, so decided not to interrupt and instead headed straight for Katniss. When we walked in, Prim ran to her bedside whilst Gale and I took in the scene. Katniss was still under her covers, as if she'd not moved all day.

"Hey, Catnip," Gale said, hoping to lighten the mood and stir her awake, if she was even asleep.

An annoyed moan was the only response we got, so I settled by her bedside and pulled the duvet down carefully, revealing her face. Her eyes were closed, scrunched with discomfort, but she was sweating. I felt her forehead, surprised at how hot she was, and my worry was increasing.

"How is she?" Prim asked from behind me.

I cleared my throat, pulling my hand back. "Er, warm. But it could be nothing."

Clearly I wasn't the best liar, since she pushed me out the way and felt her sister's forehead before frowning immediately.

"That's not nothing," she exclaimed, before going for the door. "I'm getting mum."

I sighed, but knew it was for the best. When her and her mum returned, the four of us attempted to coax Katniss awake properly. She was reluctant, but finally opened her eyes when I closed the curtains, blocking out the light that was bothering her.

"You're burning, Katniss," I told her gently, taking her hand. Her mum rested a cold cloth on her forehead, moving her hair from her face, and I looked back to her tired eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm just tired," she said dismissively, yawning. "A little cold."

I exchanged nervous glances with Gale, who was as concerned for her as I was.

"You need to listen to your mum and sister," I told her. "They're gonna help you feel better, okay?"

"I'm fine, I just need to rest," she tried to assure me, but she wasn't very convincing.

"Katniss, please," I said quietly, and she looked to me with dark eyes, softening. "Just listen to them."

She nodded, giving in, and I offered her a small smile before looking to her mum for the next step.

"You should both go home," she said to Gale and I. "You can visit tomorrow."

I nodded, not keen to leave Katniss' side but knowing the best care she could be in was her family's. Gale and I said our goodbyes before walking home.

It was supposed to get better after that, Katniss was supposed to get better. But none of it did. She was still bedridden when I visited her after school the next day, though a little more awake than yesterday and itching to get up and leave.

"My legs work fine," she told me with frustration. "Why can't I just get up and push on?"

"Because you're weak, idiot," I told her, giving her a disapproving look. "You've still got a fever, too."

She frowned petulantly, staring off at the wall instead of me. I sighed, resting a hand on hers, and thankfully she didn't pull away.

"Your mum is taking good care of you," I reminded her. "You're gonna be okay, but you need to rest."

"You shouldn't visit me meanwhile," she said after a moment, finally looking at me. "What if I'm contagious?"

I tried not to smile, the thought of not visiting her sounding insane. "I'll live, Katniss."

She exhaled weakly, not bothering to argue. I swallowed hard, taking in her expression. Circles were becoming deeper under her eyes, showing her struggle to sleep properly, and she was still glistening in a thin layer of sweat. Even now, her hand was hot beneath mine, and it terrified me. But I tried not to think of the worst, instead manifesting positive thoughts the best I could.

Enough positivity to make Katniss puke, that was the goal.

Unfortunately, it only got worse from there on out. It was getting colder the deeper we got into winter, which wasn't helping, and Katniss was missing more and more days off school. And then we finally finished school for the year, and Katniss was still unwell.

Unlike that second visit, she wasn't fighting her weakness anymore, unable to play it tough when her migraines were ruining her. Her fever would break, then return, then break again. I didn't understand what was wrong and I'd never been so scared in my life. Gale and her family felt the same, but her mum was surprisingly consistent with her care, doing everything she could to make her daughter better.

But we all knew what nobody would admit – Katniss needed real medicine, none of this herbal stuff.

One day, I was visiting Katniss, going over more and more now that school was done, but she wasn't always awake when I visited. Thankfully she was today, and when I walked in, her head turned to the door to see who it was. When she saw it was me, she shook her head, unimpressed.

"You shouldn't be here," she said as she always did, and I rolled my eyes playfully.

Ignoring her, I took a seat at the edge of her bed, aware of her eyes following my every move.

"Prim," she began, but I answered before she needed to finish.

"She's at Gale's," I reassured her, making her sigh with relief.

Having Prim seeing her like this always worried her, but I was making sure that the younger Everdeen wasn't always around. Of course, she was stubborn like her sister and sometimes insisted. Today though, she was content spending the day with Gale's siblings.

I looked down at Katniss, noticing how much weight she'd lost these past few weeks. She was already skinny, a consequence of living in District 12, but this was sickly, haunting. I'd never seen her so rundown before and I was seriously terrified that if we didn't get her real medicine soon, she could die. Nobody had a cold or flu or whatever it was for this damn long. She was struggling to eat properly, to stand at all, and she looked like hell. I couldn't just watch her deteriorate like this. Not my best friend. Not the girl I cared way too much for.

"Stop it," she said, an accidental whisper. "Stop looking at me like that."

"I'm not doing anything," I defended, embarrassed I'd been caught.

She knew me too well though. "I'll be okay. In fact–" She paused, and then suddenly attempted to sit upright, but her arms were too weak to hold her up and she slipped right back down. The tears were quick to pool in her eyes, a matching scowl on her face, at her incompetence.

"It's okay," I said sympathetically, taking her hand in between mine.

She squeezed it tight, like a lifeline, but avoided my eyes. A tear slipped from hers, and I pretended not to see it for her sake.

"I need to hunt," she said with a hoarse voice, no doubt holding in her emotion.

"Gale has it under control," I said, only imagining all she'd been worrying herself with whilst stuck here. She was the sole provider for her family, and with her out of action, the responsibilities were piling up.

"He has his own family to worry about," she snapped, before catching herself, instantly feeling bad. Quieter, she said, "It's not enough."

She wasn't wrong, of course, but I would never let her know that. Gale barely found enough to feed his own family, especially during winter, and he was sparing what little he could to keep Prim and her mum afloat. I did the same with what scraps I got, but I was no hunter and couldn't offer extra game like he could.

"We're sorting it," I said confidently. "Your mum and Prim are okay, aren't they?"

She finally met my eyes, hers glassy and exhausted. "For how long?"

It was much harder to lie to her when she was looking right at me, so I cleared my throat and forced a small smile. "All the more reason to get better, right?"

She pursed her lips, looking away again. It was quiet as she laid there, me holding her hand and keeping her company. I knew how horrible it could be when you were sick and alone, so I made sure not leave her side, as her eyes began to flicker close, struggling to fight the tiredness. I moved closer, pushing the hair from her eyes and raking my hands through her roots, knowing she liked the feeling but would never admit it. I was proven right when she let out a deep breath, squeezing my hand in approval, and I smiled softly at how cute she could be when she didn't even know it.

Only when she was out of it did I feel my tears blur my vision, unable to pretend that I was okay. She wasn't looking any better, and I couldn't just watch her like this, unable to do a thing.

I leaned forward, kissing her forehead, and closed my eyes briefly, praying to whatever God was out there that she'd be okay.

Everyone had their special something, a skill they had perfected or a hobby they could get lost in. Mine? I hadn't discovered it yet. I suppose I was doing pretty well in school, so taking tests could count, though it was a shit skill to have, impractical. But hunting, that was Katniss' and Gale's thing. No, definitely not mine.

They'd taken me out once, letting me join them on their weekly escapade. Gale found it hilarious that I moved too loudly, scaring away the prey, or that I stepped in my own trap, getting my foot stuck in the rope. I let him enjoy himself at my expense, knowing it was inevitable. Katniss however, despite the small smile that would ghost her lips at something stupid I'd do, was adamant on helping me. She took it too seriously, showing me how to use her prized bow and how to sneak around better. I'd like to say it worked, that I learnt something, but it didn't. It was safe to say they never took me again.

So, when I found myself in the forbidden woods outside the District 12 fence, with Katniss' bow in hand, I felt like a foreigner. I wasn't familiar with these woods, especially not in winter when it was a completely different ballgame to what I'd 'practiced' in last summer. Katniss' bow was too big for me, and no matter how hard I tried to take her familiar hunting routes, my approach always scared away the prey.

I was out there for two hours, certain my fingers would fall off from the cold, but I refused to give up. I couldn't return empty handed. Gale hadn't been successful last week, and family responsibilities had kept him from hunting today like he usually did. So, I took it upon myself to do it, especially because Prim was so hungry, her little face shrinking the longer Katniss was bedridden. I couldn't let her down, any of them, so I pushed on.

But every arrow I let fly missed its target, and every squirrel I approached scampered off. The sun, hidden behind thick clouds, was setting and it was getting dark out, even though the afternoon was barely over. I had to go home, but I had nothing to show for it. I couldn't even pick any edible plants because everything was frozen. I was a failure.

I couldn't catch a thing; the one job I had, to keep Prim fed, was failing; Katniss was dying and I couldn't do a thing to change any of it.

Tears streamed down my face, hot against the cold of my cheeks, and I collapsed in the snow, unbothered by it melting into the cotton of my trousers. It didn't matter anymore.

She wasn't getting better. Every day I visited her, she looked worse for wear. If it wasn't her fevers, it was her migraines. And if it wasn't her migraines, it was her throat. I was losing her day by day and I felt powerless. I couldn't even shoot a fucking squirrel to help. Nothing was working.

I was going to lose her.

Admittedly, I wallowed in self-pity for a little longer, appreciating having somewhere private to let it all out. It was hard playing it positive and tough all the time, for Prim's and Katniss' sake, when the truth was I was scared shitless. Living in a world without my best friend, the girl I so deeply loved to the point that she'd laugh if she ever found out, was terrifying. I didn't even want to envision it.

It was dark by the time I returned to the Everdeens home. I would have much preferred to go straight home, but I couldn't not update them on my false promise.

"Y/N!" Prim exclaimed when she opened the door, before tugging me in instantly.

"Hey," I said, forcing a smile, and I was glad the redness from the cold disguised my red eyes from crying.

"You're freezing," she realised, before calling for her mum. "You were gone for ages! Come, sit in front of the fire."

I pulled back as she attempted to drag me to the fire, and then her mum appeared and noticed the same thing Prim did.

"Y/N, you need to warm up–"

"I will, at my house," I promised her. "I just came to tell you that I– that–" I paused, afraid of the shakiness of my voice. Swallowing thickly, I said, "I'm sorry. I couldn't– I'm not–"

Fuck, why was this so hard?

"I'm gonna figure it out," I changed my words, nodding confidently. "I'll get some food. I'm sorry. I–"

Prim suddenly hugged me, arms wrapping around my torso and squeezing so tightly that I could have snapped in half from how frozen I was. But I appreciated it nonetheless and returned the gesture, letting out a shaky breath.

"Don't do it again," her mum said gently, resting a hand on my cheek before hugging me too.

I blinked back my tears as I let myself relax in their comfort.

I couldn't just stand by and do nothing anymore, and there was only one thing that I knew I could do. None of us could ever afford the medicine Katniss needed from the doctor in town, unless we traded something valuable, like food.

If I used my tesserae, adding my name another time into the potential tributes for District 12, I would receive a year's supply of oil and grain. Participants could only apply once for themselves, and once for any of their family members if they were between the ages of 12 and 18. I'd used mine for this year, but I could still use it on behalf of my parents. They never wanted me to, but this was an emergency and they didn't need to know.

So, on behalf of them, I used my tesserae and traded that two years' supply of oil and grain with the doctor in exchange for the medicine that would make Katniss better. After describing all her symptoms, he explained how it was some complex form of a cold, rare but deadly. I was lucky I'd got to him in time.

Gale didn't approve of my plan when I told him, trying to talk me out of it. Just like Katniss, he cared about whether I used my tesserae without needing to. I could see it was killing him to watch me do it anyway, wanting to do it himself if he could, but he'd already used all his family's tesserae for the year. It was the first thing he did every time it was available, having no choice since he had a big family.

After I collected the medicine from the doctor, I was quick to return to Katniss' house, giving a rushed explanation to her mum about the medicine and what the doctor said about administering it and how it would save her life.

"Y/N, how did you get this?" she asked once I finished to catch my breath.

"It doesn't matter," I said to her. "But it'll help. We can give her the first dose now."

"Y/N–”

"Mrs Everdeen, please," I pleaded, and she must have seen the desperation in my expression because she nodded slowly and went to make Katniss some tea with the medicine in it. It was a syrup of some sort, so the mint tea should have made it a bit more palatable.

Eventually we both went to Katniss' room, where Prim was sat beside her, holding her hand and chatting quietly. When she spotted us both, she perked up and smiled a little.

"Hey, Prim," I said, returning her smile and joining her side. "How's the patient?"

"She's got a headache," Prim answered, and I looked to Katniss who had a wet towel pressed to her eyes, both cooling her down and also blocking out the light.

"Y/N?" Katniss whispered, though unmoving.

"Yours truly," I said playfully, needing to disguise the permanent concern that was in my voice. "We brought you some tea, Katniss."

She groaned quietly. "I don't want it."

Her mum glanced at me, unsure how to proceed, so I took the mug from her hand and placed it on the bedside table.

"It'll help," I promised her, before gently pulling her duvet down. "Can you sit up for me, please?"

She sighed but thankfully obeyed, allowing me to help her sit upright. She leaned against the bed frame and let me remove the towel from her eyes. I smiled when I saw her blue eyes, though they were fatigued as they had been since she'd gotten sick. Not for long, hopefully.

"Drink up," I encouraged, offering her the mug.

She silently accepted it, blowing on the tea before taking the first sip. Her face scrunched up with disgust. "What is that?"

"New herbal remedy," her mum answered before I could struggle to.

Katniss wasn't impressed, but managed to drink the whole thing, probably because she knew I'd let her go to sleep if she did. After laying back down, I pulled the duvet back over her and pushed her hair behind her ear, smiling reassuringly.

"You should feel better with that," I told her with certainty.

She didn't reply, eyes avoiding mine, something I'd noticed she'd been doing for a while now. It was like she knew she wasn't getting better and was scared to admit the truth, but this was different. This would finally work.

Prim and I stayed by her side until she fell asleep, and that was when I told her about the medicine. The pure joy and relief on her face was enough to let me know I'd made the right decision, and she hugged me so tightly that I almost lost my breath.

"I told you she'd be okay," I said with a small smile, accepting her hug. "And so will you."

"Thank you," she muttered into my shoulder.

I squeezed her gently before we stayed there, sat side by side. She didn't want to leave Katniss' side, and neither did I, but it was getting late and, at some point, Prim had dozed off on my shoulder. Only after I had tucked her into her mum's bed did Mrs Everdeen politely kick me out, forcing me to get some rest of my own at home. For once, I didn't argue it, my exhaustion catching up to me. Plus, I could sleep well knowing Katniss would already be doing a lot better tonight.

As soon as I woke up and remembered the medicine the next morning, I headed straight to the Everdeens place, hoping to see some sort of improvement with Katniss. So you can imagine my surprise when I walked into her room and saw her sat upright in bed, eating an actual breakfast on a tray.

"Katniss!" I said with disbelief, before rushing to hug her. "You're eating!"

She returned my hug and I pulled up a chair beside her bed, studying her curiously. She'd looked like she'd had a better sleep than she usually did, and she was actually holding up her own weight which was an achievement in itself. The medication was working!

The sight of her looking a lot healthier and actually improving from her poor condition brought tears to my eyes, but I willed them away. She'd hate to see me crying over her, but I genuinely couldn't believe it.

"I'm not stupid," she said with a raspy voice, eyes narrowed my way.

I furrowed my brows. "What?"

She frowned. "You think I don't know that you gave me actual medicine last night? There's no other explanation for why I'm feeling better. And I know it's not because of a damn herbal remedy. I was doomed, Y/N. So, what the hell did you do?"

"So you do feel better?"

"Y/N!"

I sighed as she raised her voice. "Okay, look, I'm sorry for lying to you, but you wouldn't have taken it if I'd told you."

"Damn right I wouldn't have!" she snapped, glaring at me. "We can't afford that! Which brings me to my next question. How the hell did you get it?"

I shook my head, looking down at her breakfast tray. "It's not your concern."

"Y/N, I swear to God I'll–"

"What?" I cut her off, meeting her hard stare with my own. "You'll what?"

Her eyes flickered between mine before softening. "Y/N. Please."

I could have given in so easily, just from a simple glance, but I refused to let her bait me. I ignored her instead, shaking my head and returning my gaze to her breakfast tray.

"You traded something," she guessed, back to her irritated self. When I didn't answer, she said, "What? What did you trade?"

Again, I said nothing, neither confirming nor denying, but she wasn't having it.

"Goddamn it, Y/N!" she shouted, but her voice was still weak so it was more of a broken yell. "You can't just sit there in silence whilst I–"

"Stop it!" I raised my voice too, glaring at her.

"What the hell were you thinking?!"

I frowned, eyes pooling with tears. "I was thinking that I couldn't just sit here and watch and not do anything! I was thinking that I was terrified that you would die! That you were getting worse and worse every day, and that I would lose you, Katniss!"

Her eyes were glassy as they met mine. "How many times?"

I scoffed, looking away. "Katniss, not now."

I expected her to yell again, but she said in a quiet voice, "Please. How many times is your name in there?"

I clenched my jaw, crossing my arms over my chest stubbornly. But when I glanced at her, she was watching me like a little girl who'd just lost her puppy, and I couldn't not respond.

"Not a lot," I tried to sugar coat it. "Only twelve times." At this, she released a sharp breath. "I traded two years of food with the doctor. It was enough to get the medicine."

She pushed the tray off her lap before pulling her knees to her chest, hiding her face between them. She was shaking her head and I knew she was crying, the sniffling giving it away. Feeling insanely bad, I sat on the bed beside her and pulled her in for a side hug the best I could.

"It's okay," I told her, rubbing her arm. "I chose to do it, Katniss. And I'd do it again, over and over, if it means you'll be okay."

She shook her head. "You shouldn't have," she said with a muffled voice, her head still tucked between her legs.

"You shouldn't have got sick," I tried to joke, but she only looked up at me with red eyes and quivering lips. I lost my smile, admitting, "I wasn't going to lose you. You don't get it."

I love you, I wanted to add, but I couldn't.

"Neither do you," she mumbled, before shoving me off her childishly.

I didn't get to question her because she pulled the tray back onto her lap and tried to finish off the remainder of stale bread in her plate. I returned to my seat next to her bed, watching as she sulked, ate and gave me the temporary silent treatment. I didn't care too much, as long as she was eating.

Once she finished, I took the tray and put it to the side momentarily, flashing her a supportive smile.

"You finished every last bit," I pointed out. "I'm proud of you."

She rolled her eyes, but that only made me smile more because it meant she had the effort to be annoyed at me, which was something she hadn't had for a while now.

"Did you have your morning dose of medicine?" I asked reluctantly, but needing to know.

She nodded, crossing her arms. "My mum gave it me earlier."

I relaxed. "Good."

Before I could say anything else, the door to the bedroom opened and Prim ran in, a bright smile on her face. Despite Katniss' annoyance with me, she couldn't resist returning her sister's smile, accepting her onto the bed and hugging her.

"You already look so much better," Prim was saying with amazement. "I was so scared."

"Well, there's no need to be," Katniss reassured her. "You didn't struggle too much without me, right?"

Prim shook her head. "Gale and Y/N have been helping. Y/N wouldn't leave. Mum had to kick her out a lot."

I facepalmed, feeling my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. It only deepened when Katniss glanced my way with an unreadable expression.

"Yeah, she has a tendency to not listen," she said, making me roll my eyes.

"She saved you," Prim said to her.

Katniss licked her lips. "I know."

I felt awkward, definitely not wanting the credit, I just wanted her to be okay. But then Prim changed the subject, catching Katniss up on all she'd missed, so I was able to sit back and witness it all, chiming in whenever Prim needed.

For once, Katniss was able to listen and actually hold a conversation. It was heartwarming to see, and if this was what she was like after one dose, I couldn't wait until she'd had the full thing.

[mxdarling]

[send me a pic]

aventurine fluff post, ooc aventurine, could be read as platonic or romantic, reader is trailblazer, gn reader who uses they/them prns, mostly texting format, takes place after 2.2 trailblaze quest, spoiler free!, a bit rushed, lowercase, 1.0k wc, based on a in-game text interaction with aventurine.

[a/n; got a in-game message from aventurine and decided to write for him LOLL I couldn't resist, my writing is so rusty now i;m sorry huhuu]

you were chilling in your room, laying down with your limbs spread out on the bed, doing absolutely nothing. after the events of penacony, you were completely exhausted. the bed was too comfy to get up from, like some magnetic force pulling you into the soft texture of the mattress. it was unusual for you to be doing nothing—doing nothing would make you bored, and you hate being bored, which prompts you to do anything to make that boredom go away. so having your eyes glued to the ceiling was a new feeling to you; you weren't in the mood to bother march and dan heng with your antics, or help pom pom clean the astral express, or talk to mr. yang and himeko, no, none of that. you simply wanted to be in your room, doing nothing.

minutes have passed, and your eyes, void of excitement, continued to stare down at the ceiling. it wasn't interesting, so it was the only thing your eyes could focus on without much effort. seeing as you weren't going to do much for today, the thought of sleeping away time sounded rather pleasant to you, plus the droopiness in your eyes gave you the go signal to drift off and take a nap. as you're lured into the embraces of slumber, you almost gave in until your phone let out a buzzing noise, pulling you out of rest.

your phone stays still on the bedside table, you sit up straight and leaned over towards your phone to take a peek at the notification that has woken you up.

a: [hey friend!] a: [how's life been treating you?]

caught off guard by his sudden message you leaned back and took a second or two to recollect yourself before reaching for your phone and typing out a reply.

t: [uhh been doing okay, hbu?] a: [a new shop that opened up here on penacony—cosmic star.] a: [checking the place out, it's fun, there's a lot of interesting stuff here.] t: [you planning on buying something there?] a: [well sort of, i'm not buying for myself though] a: [actually gonna buy something for you]

you audibly let out a confused 'huh' as you read and reread his message. this is definitely a first. you knew he had the credits to buy the most expensive things imaginable due to being part of the IPC, but you didn't think he'd let you indulge in his wealth beyond his missions.

t: [wait really? like actually??] a: [yeah gonna buy you something, first i need to find what strikes your fancy] a: [there's this "horizon" series pajama is made with a material so light it feels like nothing, warm in winter, cool in summer, and extremely comfortable] a: [wearing it to sleep should considerably lessen the fatigue from travel]

you were tempted to immediately say that was the item you wanted; after all, having some new sets of pajamas would be nice. though you decided to wait until he described the other items to you, perhaps there was something you'd like even more than the pajamas.

a: [speaking of travel, these "night diamond" series gloves, they're handcrafted and limited to ninety pairs galaxy-wide, perfect for parties and special occasions]

you didn't feel much for the gloves, if you were being honest; the ones you already had were fine and very comfortable during your travels through different worlds. still, you kept the gloves in mind in case you had a change of heart.

a: [and then there's this windbreaker from the "unmanned flight" series—a timeless classic!] a: [you can wear it and stand on the edge of a cliff, listening to the flapping of its hem when the cosmic storm hits… it's because of that scene in the movie, "unmanned flight" has now become the go-to choice for a generation of the nameless and their followers.]

the windbreaker sounded fun, you thought, plus you had a feeling that he picked that item because you’re a nameless as well. though you weren't sure if it would be any use to you.

a: [now, which one do you like?]

thinking very carefully between the three items he had describe to you, trying to sort out the pros and cons of each items but you ended up getting tired of doing so—in the end you settle for the vibes each item gave off.

t: [the "horizon" pjs then] a: [that's all? are you sure?] t: [yeah i'm sure] a: [alright, i'll have it delivered to you, just don't mind the extra packages okay?]

raising an eyebrow at his rather vague message, you hear the sound of hurried footsteps approaching. suddenly, your door slides open to reveal a disheveled march out of breath. "hey! why did you order so many packages!?" march whined, still out of breath as she continued to breathe in and out to catch some air. you watched from your bed in shock as she continued to huff out for air. looking back at you, she whined once more. "hey! these are your packages. help me out over here!" quickly you got off the bed and on your feet running after march, and you helped her carry your packages into your room. you wondered if this is what he meant by 'extra packages'.

t: [how many did you ordered!?] a: [what do you mean friend?] t: [i thought you ordered just the pjs??] a: [i did! with a couple of others things of course!] t: [????] t: [what others things??] a: [why don't you check the packages to see for yourself] a: [don't forget to send me a picture!]

with a sigh of disbelief, you turned your attention to the pile of boxes sent by aventurine himself, guess you should start unboxing.

t: [sent 10 attachments.] t: [what do you think?] a: [10 pictures isn't enough my friend but oh well] a: [as expected, you look really cute in those pjs friend!]

PLEASE DO NOT COPY, REPOST, SHARE, TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO OTHER SITES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION + REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

[dariaslookalike]

Building Houses and Burning Bridges Pt 5: Bargains and Balls

Summary:

It seems, oddly enough, that Gregory House lives to annoy you. He takes 'arseholish boss' to the next level. Wake up in the morning, ready to have breakfast, and drive to the hospital where you both work? Nope, you're getting a text that says you're late to his impromptu 4:30 AM meeting where he's had the 'breakthrough of the century' on the team's latest case. Get your hair cut and walk into work, for once feeling confident? Nope, he's saying that he would have done a better job blinded, hands tied and going through Vicodin withdrawals. Finally, 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, prove him wrong and attempt to wipe the cockiness off his face? Nope, you're simply slow because you didn't get to your diagnosis quicker and weak-willed because you didn't fight him for it in the beginning. Everything House does infuriates you, and it seems everything you do infuriates him. No wonder you end up pinned to the wall of your apartment and groping him like your life depends on. And knowing House, it very may well.

Warnings: Adult language, mature themes, eventual smut, female protagonist, no reference of y/n

Rating: 18+ MDNI

Current Status: Ongoing

Masterlist: Building Houses and Burning Bridges

Next Chapter: Pt 6

-----------------------

The white envelope sears a hole into your pocket during your journey home. You toss it against your bedside dresser, and imagine it sizzling and scorching the wood.

It sits there for another week before you pick it up again. You blame work, of course. House hadn’t given up completely on making your life a living hell, but it seemed he had relented somewhat. Still, you were running around. Chasing after MRIs and lumbar punctures and CT scans and bloodwork and all the sorts. Cuddy, after your last conversation, seemed determined to make sure you weren’t about to collapse under House. She set up work counselling (that you skipped. Admitting that House was affecting you was admitting defeat, right?), and, by his snarky “Tattle to mummy? You’re just lucky I like seeing her with a whip” comment, she had reamed House out.

Any spare time that you did have at the hospital was taken up with clinic duty. Kids with snotty noses, men with sore backs, women with rashes, teenagers with acne; you had dealt with more incredulous patients in one week than you had during your residency.

So yes. You blame work.

You sit on your bedroom floor, your back pressed to one of the boxes. It has DESK STUFF scrawled across the side in sharpie. Of course, you couldn’t start unpacking until the rest of your bedroom was clean. Starting with the envelope.

You slide open the top and pull out the invitation. Small. A slight silver tinge. An embossed stamp of the hospital’s logo. Overwhelmingly underwhelming.

Still, your stomach curled, and you reread it, over and over. A charity ball, to celebrate the end of winter and more importantly, raise money for some of the hospital’s foundations. It had raffles, auctions, and games. A long list of celebrated donors and a longer list of speakers. You scan the list, and while you see Dr Wilson’s, House’s isn’t shown. Maybe he was shy, beneath all that boisterous toxicity.

You snort to yourself. Not likely.

It takes two more days for you to drag your feet to Pop’s. He’s tinkering away at something by his counter; too many screws and bolts for you to really guess what. But when he sees you, he drops it all, and rushes around the counter to crush you in a hug. You laugh, but it’s swallowed up by the scratchy flannel he’s wearing. He sways you on the spot, and you hug him back, clutching at his back.

When he releases you, his hands land on your cheeks. “You look horrible!”

You laugh and push away at his hands. You can imagine the flecks of dirt and iron on your cheeks, but you make no move to wipe them away. “Gee, thanks.”

He nods, and you follow him back to the counter. You lift yourself up, and sit on the edge, your feet dangling off like a child’s. He picks up what he was working on earlier, and grumbles. “Not rude. Just the truth. You look terrible. Like a ghost.”

You nod, swinging your shoes in front of you. “Work’s been a lot recently.”

His eyes swivel to yours, and his tinkering pauses. “Is it that man again? Home?”

In the past few months, even though you had slowed down on your impromptu home renovations, you had still visited Pop. On slow days, he taught you card games and how to shuffle a deck. In his large hands, the cards were like magic, disappearing and flying through the air. He had not been impressed at the news of your boss. Of course, you omitted some details (like how at one point, you were convinced you wanted to jump his bones), but he got the general gist of House’s behaviour.

Laughing, you shake your head half-heartedly. “A little bit. Even without him though, the job’s just tiring.”

He huffs. “You need food. Sleep. If you go home and get to bed, me and Ella will drop you soup.”

As if summoned, you hear her telltale shoes clicking against the hardwood floor. Ella, Pop’s wife, appears through the small door in the corner that leads to the back. She’s a beautiful woman. Dark, greying ringlets of hair frame her sun-kissed, weathered face, and a store apron is draped across her frame. You push yourself off the counter to stand and her smile is instantaneous. Just as Pop did, she rushes forward to hug you. It’s not as bone-crushing, but you squeeze her back tightly nonetheless. Her green eyes twinkle, and you have to force yourself not to stare at the full lashes that frame them. “It’s good to see you, sweetheart.”

You smile. “You too, Eleanora.”

Her smile drops, and she swats at your arm. “Ah, so you call him Pop and all I get is Eleanora? Call me Ella, at least.”

You duck your head and raise your hands in apology. “Of course, of course.”

You had this conversation numerous times in your past visits. Something about her nickname was too endearing. Of course, she was an endearing woman; a wide, toothy smile, rosy cheeks, and golden jewellery hanging across her neck. Yet, she was formidable and intimidating when she wanted to be. That’s what drew you to call her Eleanora. Ella was an amazing cook, and on some of the nights you stayed chatting with Pop until closing, she would push a plate into your hands and demand you eat it. For such a small woman, she could be intense. It was a demand you were willing to oblige.

Happy with your promise to concede, Ella turns and busies herself by tidying Pop’s counter. She replaces the screwdrivers and Allen keys that he has lying about to their home and is a flurry of cleansing movement around the two of you. You know better than to try to help; she had nearly had a hernia the last time you tried sweeping the floor. Ella was a self-sufficient woman and survived alongside Pop without taking advantage of others.

You raise yourself back onto the counter and sigh, looking towards Pops. “I don’t need sleep. I need a dress. At work, we have this biiiiig,” You stretch your hands over your head in a sweeping motion. “Charity event. I have nothing to wear; is there a dress shop around here? Or even a clothing shop?”

No way would you be able to meander into town near the hospital before or after work; the shops opened too late and shut too early. The thick caterpillars that are Pop’s eyebrows, scrunch together, but it’s Ella who stops her flurry and speaks. “No, no, I’ll have something for you.”

You tilt your head to the side and look at her quizzically. She taps your knee and bustles off to the back door. You shoot Pop a look, but he just shrugs his shoulders. “Best if you follow her, kid. She’ll drag you up there anyway.”

You nod and push through the back door. It leads to a larger back room, filled to the brim with filing cabinets, and thick, manilla folders that are bursting at the seams. To your left, you turn just in time to see Ella trudging up a sagging staircase. You spare one last fleeting glance at the room and follow her.

While she is able to make it up quietly, the stairs creak in protest underneath you. You sheepishly hasten your steps when Ella makes it to the next floor. There’s a small wooden landing and adjoining doors. Ella has already disappeared into one, so you gingerly open each. The first is a small, but pristine and ornate bathroom. There’s a lounge room, filled with bookshelves and a VHS player. The third is a small kitchen; a window looks outwards to a simple backyard, but you can imagine it in the summer, pushed open and welcoming all sorts of warm sunlight and songbird melodies. Finally, after feeling like the biggest intruder to their home, you find Ella in the bedroom.

She’s plunged into a large, wooden cabinet, and you toe off your shoes to abandon them by the landing before you cross onto the soft carpet. You sit on the edge of the large bed awkwardly, but when you clear your throat, Ella spins around and tuts. “No, up, up!”

Like a soldier, you stand to attention, but Ella doesn’t seem as offended at you sitting on her bed as she does seem interested in poking at you. For a moment, she stands in front of you and surveys you, her green eyes sweeping across your face, your torso, down to your legs and back up again. She steps forward on nimble feet and reaches up to push your chin up and your shoulders back. Now you really do feel like a soldier.

She pulls both of your hands in front of you, and you think it best to just let her play around with you like a doll; right now she was Eleanora, not Ella. She turns your palms upwards, and then back down. Then she guides your arms out to the side, and nudges your leg apart with her own, all while staring with a calculating eye. Now, standing in the centre of her room like you're in the middle of a jumping jack, she circles around you. Your head involuntarily turns to follow her, but she tuts again, and you look forward. She shifts your hips to the centre and places the palm of her hand against your back, pushing to even your posture.

She does odd measurements with her hands. She closes one eye, holds a hand parallel to your throat and shifts it down, lining it up against your waist. She gauges the width of your shoulders and mirrors it against your hips. She tuts at your chest, and you look at her with worry. She shakes her head, “It’s fine. Your mother and God were just kinder to you than they were to me.” She continues her measurements and when she circles back around to face you, she nods with determination. “It should be perfect.”

—--------- The days pass by in a flurry of snowy weather and icy roads. The charity event is quickly approaching, and your stomach is curling at the thought of it. Cameron, Foreman, and yourself are bundled into a small cafe booth. It’s overpriced and has horrible sandwiches, but it’s inside the hospital and most importantly away from the mini blizzard outside.

You poke at your sandwich and sip from your hot chocolate. Cameron got a pastry, which while you would usually expect to be burnt on one side and undercooked on the other, looks like sweet goodness. Foreman wretches at his salad. “This has got to be a health violation. Who puts anchovies in caesar salad anymore?”

You laugh. “Who buys anchovies from the hospital anymore?”

Foreman shakes his head and pushes his plate away from him. You reach across and push your own towards him, and he looks towards you with wide eyes. “Really?”

You nod. “Yep. I asked for no mayo and got mayo, so they’ll go to waste if you don’t have them.”

Cameron laughs. “When Chase shows up, they won’t go to waste. He’s like a tall, skinny, bottomless pit.”

You all laugh, and Foreman humbly accepts. In a mouth full of sandwiches, he speaks. “Fu wot, aryu affergeec?”

Cameron scoffs beside you and shakes her head. “Finish chewing, Foreman. I don’t want your crumbs spat in my coffee.”

He swallows and turns back to you. “I was asking if you’re allergic. To mayo? Or would it be eggs, then?”

You shake your head, feeling a blush creep over your cheeks. “I’m not allergic. It’s just gross and makes me gag. I used to be force-fed sandwiches which were basically drowned in mayo, and now I can’t eat it.”

Foreman nods. “I get it. My mum used to make us tuna pasta- she was a great cook, but something about that dish she could never get right. I think we were so broke at one point, even the tinned tuna was out of date. Just the smell of tuna makes me gag now.”

You sip your hot chocolate, trying to chase away the thought of fish and mayo. You stop when you spy Chase, weaving between tables, looking like Frosty the Snowman. When he slides in across from you, Foreman laughs. “What happened to you, man? Did House send you outside as a punishment?”

Chase scoffs, and whips his beanie and scarf off. It sends flecks of snow flying, which quickly melt against the table. “Nope. I went to five different stores, and the first three were closed.” He groans, rubbing at his side. “I think I busted a rib on the ice.” Cameron coos. “Did you slip over? Before we go back up, I’ll see if you’ve actually broken something, or if you’re just being a baby.” Chase locks eyes with you across the table,\ and rolls them. You stifle a snort.

Foreman speaks between mouthfuls this time. “What. Were. You. Shopping. For?”

Chase inhales and produces a white shopping bag. He places it on the table and slides it towards you. Now you’re the one locking eyes with him, and mouthing ‘What?’ He gestures towards the bag with a hand. Even Foreman’s put down his sandwiches to watch. “Open it.”

You’re sceptical, and gingerly reach a hand inside the bag, pulling out a box. You look back to Chase for confirmation, and he nods. “Go on.”

You open the box, and push past plain tissue paper. There’s a pair of glittery, black pumps. You look back to him, frantic. “Chase, I can’t, these are gorgeous and-”

He nods. “I barfed on your shoes. Literally barfed. And I was meaning to get you a new pair a few weeks back, but then I didn’t know what you liked.”

“No, really, I can’t take these, this is too much-”

“I tore up the receipt. Shredded it, actually.”

You blink. “Huh?”

Cameron nods along. “I saw him burn it too. And black’s not Chase’s colour, so I guess you’ll just have to take them.”

You shake your head, but Chase speaks first. “I’m serious. I’m not taking them back.”

You stare at him, willing him to break, but he pokes his tongue out at you. You furrow your brow. “Okay. You know these aren’t really practical for work, right?”

Foreman reaches over, plucking a heel and holding it up to examine it. “Look at it! You’ll finally be able to reach the top medicine shelves in the clinic.”

“Ha ha.” You laugh humorlessly, taking back the shoe, and returning it to its box.

Chase speaks. “Well, we’ve got that charity thing coming up this week…I was hoping it went with your dress, and that maybe, you’d like to-”

“Sit with us!” Cameron interjects. Chase shoots her a look and begins to open his mouth but she continues. “Cuddy’s asking us for table arrangements, so we thought we’d sit together as a diagnostic team. Right, Foreman?”

Foreman squints at her, but when there’s a resounding thump under the table and he winces, he nods. “Yep. Right.”

Chase chews his cheek, staring at Cameron. “You sure, Cameron? Maybe we should let her make her own decisions and not force her into something.”

Cameron shakes her head. “She’s not being forced into something. She’s being asked, and can say yes or no.”

You lean forward. “I’m lost. What am I saying yes or no to?”

Chase doesn’t look towards you anymore, staring down at the table. Cameron turns to face you. “Well, do you want to sit with us?”

You nod. “Of course; the only other people I know here is Cuddy and House.”

Cameron smiles, and if anything, Chase’s face turns even more sour. “Perfect. We’ll see you there.” —------ Chase avoids you for the rest of the week. You thought, maybe the shoes were a sign of something more. But he’s adamant in separating at every chance from you. Before, he used to seek you out at the coffee machine and talk to you about everything from you shouldn’t trust the creamer to how aliens must be real. It’s disappointing. Cameron shoots you sad smiles when no one else is around. “He’s just stressed. House has been riding his arse, but after this charity ball, it should be fine.”

Your logic wants to question her, and demand to know why she thinks that. But, you feel like you’ve lost a friend in less than four days, and nod, clinging to some semblance of hope. Yet, two days being the dinner-ball-charity-anxiety inducing-thing, it’s House that seeks you out.

‘I’ve been told to ‘talk’ with you.” He makes quotations with his fingers in the air.

You scoff, and spin back to the microscope, where about a minute ago, you were analysing liver cell enzymes in peace. “Oh, so no hitting this time? I’m glad, I thought your cane could use a break.”

House makes a weird noise in the back of his throat, and your eyes flick back to him. He coughs….almost awkwardly? “Mother superior says you’re skipping counselling.”

“Ohhh.” House had to talk about feelings. No wonder the narcissistic robot was feeling awkward. “Yep.”

He rolls his eyes. “Most people wouldn’t be so snippy with their boss.”

You nod along, staring back at the glass slide. “Yep. Then again, most bosses wouldn’t be the reason that most people need work counselling, but hey.” You don’t mention that you’re upset Chase is managing to ghost you at work.

He scoffs. “You don’t need it because of me. I’m sure there’s some weird, hormonal, womanly disaster you’re hiding.”

“So we agree. I don’t need it.”

“Don’t twist my words like that, newbie, I-”

You sit up, facing him fully. “The only reason Cuddy wants me in counselling is because she’s afraid you’re hurting my feelings. You’re not.” Lies. “It doesn’t keep me up at night when you act like a dickhead.” Lies. “Hence, I don’t need counselling.” Lies.

House runs his hand down his face, and you have to stop yourself from tracking the movement. Just stare at the pale wall to the left of his head. Just like that- no, no you’re staring at his face again.

He sighs. There’s a beat of silence, then two, and then three. You’re about to ask him why he’s still interrupting the task he ordered you to do when he speaks with a lively vigour. “So! If you’re not wanting to throw yourself down a set of stairs because of me,” Lies. “You could totally manage to go to the charity thingamajig with me. Something about dying babies or dying grandmas, I don’t know.”

You blink. “It’s for the hospital’s Domestic Violence foundation and Childhood Cancer.”

“Ah, so men acting like babies and children dying like grandmas. I’ll take that as a yes.”

“No!”, you blurt out.

He blinks, frazzled. “No? You don’t think abusive men act like immature babies?”

You roll your eyes. “Shut up. Why are you inviting me?”

His jaw flexes for a moment, and he stares at you. The silence is loud, but you see the chord of electricity connecting the two of you thrumming. Your thoughts are pulsing at the same beat. Say it. Chase didn’t say it. No one’s ever said it to me. Say that you’re inviting me because you want me with you. Not Cameron, not Cuddy, not some leggy blonde. Me.

Instead, he says “It’s the one apology you’ll ever get for me making you want to throw yourself down a set of stairs.”

Your thoughts zap and fizzle out with a pop. Even their absence is shameful, and you dumbly nod your head. It’s a work event. What were you expecting? Moreso, why were you expecting it from House? “Fine.”

His eyebrows shoot up, and you scoff. “Don’t make me take it back.”

“Hey!” He places a hand to his heart, faux wounded. “No refunds on sponsoring domestic abusers with me.”

“What? That’s not what the charity do-”

He’s already limping out of the lab and you’re left in silence. —------- There was no frumpled jacket, fraying sweater, and an untucked shirt. No coffee-stained jeans or pen-scratched slacks.

The black dress clung to your waist, cinching in, and widening out into a breathy, floor-length skirt fleckered with embroidered flowers and trailing leaves. God, you prayed no one thought this was too slutty; sure, there wasn’t a thigh-high slit or even any leg showing, but your full breasts were practically shoved up to your chin.

Ella’s dress. She was ecstatic when she handed it to you, and demanded that you try it on at their home and that Pop drive you to the ball. She helped you wriggle into it; almost a claustrophobic process, but Ella would laugh each time you hand stuck through the neckline or the skirt. “You’re like a silly monkey. When my daughter and my sons grew up, I thought there would be no silly monkeys left here.” She pinches your cheek tenderly while you're wrapped in odd angles of the dress. “But then you came. I’m so glad you did.”

Eventually, you stretch and jump and slide into the dress. Pop’s already waiting for you outside, by his old, clunky truck. He envelopes you quickly, squeezing you and resting his head on your own. “You look beautiful. Ella was right, the dress is perfect.”

You laugh. “She always is.”

You thank him again and again for driving you all the way, but his reply is a gruff laugh. You insist that you’ll be fine later tonight, and will get a lift home with someone or call a taxi. It’s two late for Pop to be driving out on icy roads. When he parks in the bay of the hospital, he turns to you. “You sure? I rather you get home with me then not at all.”

You nod. “I’m sure. Don’t worry, I’ll get home.”

He runs his hands across his moustache, and nods. The seriousness dissipates from his face, and he smiles tenderly at you. “Have a great time.”

The dress was beautiful, you think when you shuffle from the car and quickly into the warmth of the foyer. But Ella had been right in saying that your mother and god were kinder. Your boobs were nearly spilling out of the top, and as you step through the doorway, you cross your fingers that you wouldn’t give the whole hospital staff a nip slip.

The hospital’s foyer had been completely converted. There was no stuffy receptionist or odd potted plants. There was draped, flowing curtains along the wall, obscuring the view of the clinic and offices. There was a faux chandelier for god's sake, dangling down from the floor above. Even the floors seemed to gleam. The foyer seemed bigger somehow. There were large, circular tables, covered in white cloth, that bordered the edges, yet there was still room for (presumably) a dance floor in the centre. Furthest away, there was a large catering table, and you stomach was already growling.

The second you think of beelining to the food however House sidles into view. He whistles, staring at your chest. “Wow. I’d say you clean up nicely, but those sure do.”

You resist the urge to cover up, and a blush flames across your cheeks. “You don’t look absolutely repulsive yourself, House.”

That was far from the truth. House was wearing a form-fitting black suit. Had his hair been combed? Was his cane polished? Whatever it was, he looked…handsome. You would have to be wary.

He holds out his left hand. “I hope you don’t have rabies.”

You gingerly reach out, feeling his rough palm against your own. His fingers are against your pulse. “I do. Air-borne gonorrhoea, too.”

House smiles, and you find that you can’t look away from it. He realises you’re staring at him in awe however and a scowl quickly covers his face. He yanks you to his side and spins for the both of you to face the room.

You hiss, “You’re lucky I didn’t trip. I would have brought you down with me.”

“I have the cane as an advantage. Now,” you inch closer, til your shoulders are pressed together. Or rather, it’s your head by the tip of his shoulder. You tilt your ear, listening as he whispers conspiratorially. “The best thing I will ever teach you is how to get in, and out of a Cuddy-event.”

You snort. “I thought that you wanted to support domestic abusers?”

He peers down at you, scoffing. “You must have me confused for someone else.” He looks back out to the foyer, and gestures with his head, first to the catering table, “You get food. Not a lot, but enough to seem that you’re interested in staying for the evening. You dance, and make sure that someone remembers that you’ve danced.”

You nudge him in the ribs, and he looks back at you. “How do you dance? I’ve seen you avoid walking to an OR because of your leg.”

He grins and reaches into the pocket of his suit. He produces a pill bottle and rattles it. “I have enough of these bad boys to endure Cuddy’s torture tonight. I’m going to tear it up on the dance floor.”

You roll your eyes. “Okay, dancing, eating, what other great tips do you have?”

“Well, I have a great tip in my pants but another one is also to do the worst thing on earth- small talk. Luckily for me, I have Wilson.”

You huff out a laugh torn between humour and disgust at his innuendo. At that, he loops your arms together, and he walks towards one of the outlying tables. Wilson sits there, and you spy the ducklings a few tables over. You wave at them, and while Foreman and Cameron both smile back, Chase blanches.

Wilson draws you back to where you are when he says your last name. “It’s good to see you here. And with House! I thought by now, he would have made you a bitter enemy.”

House scoffs, and you feel where your arms are linked burn when he speaks. “I have. This is all a ruse to get her guard down.”

You roll your eyes, but smile at Wilson. “He roped me in. Something about dying babies and dying grandmas.”

Wilson squints. “That sounds like House, especially because tonight is for Domestic Violence-”

“And childhood cancer!” House interjects. “I bet you’ll see a lot of your little friends running around tonight, Wilson. Or is it more like wheeling around?”

Now Wilson rolls his eyes and turns back to you. “If you ever need a break from him, I’ve got a free seat at my table.”

House’s elbow seems to pull you in tighter, but you smile. “Thanks. I’m sure I’ll swing by later.”

House doesn’t say bye to his friend, already leading you away. It’s odd; Wilson and House bicker and fight, yet you get the sense they’re the closest friends in the hospital. You try to tug his elbow back towards the ducklings' table, but he tuts. “Small talkis donee. Food now.”

You shake your head. “That was hardly small talk. We were there for two minutes before you were an arse.”

You realise you’re saying we. What was the etiquette of bosses asking out employees on a not-date date? Or, moreso, dates in general? Were you supposed to leave him alone? Separate and enjoy the night before reconvening. Or, like you were doing now, be paraded around on his arm and cling to him like a hopeless bird clings to a dangling birdseed treat?

You’re brought out of your own head when House speaks. “It’s Wilson. He’s used to my arse if you know what I mean.”

You bark out a laugh. That would make sense on to why Wilson put up with House’s shit. Old flames always burn dully. House is weaving you in between tables, and directing you towards the catering table.

He swears and begins yanking you around like a getaway driver. “Shit. Left, left! No, now right. Oh, fuck-”

Cuddy marches up to you two and beams at you. She glares at House. “Were you trying to avoid me?”

House puffs out air from his cheeks. “No, why would you ever think that?”

“You’re behind a fake palm plant.”

He uses his cane to reach up and poke at the plastic shrubbery beside you. “Darn. I thought it was the real thing.”

Cuddy sighs, and turns to you. “You look beautiful. I’m glad you came.” She pins House with a stare. “Even gladder that you tried being kind for once.”

House gags. “Not altruistic though.”

Cuddy shakes her head slightly at him, and smiles at you. You scan her scarlet dress with an approving nod. “You look amazing. That dress is gorgeous”

A slight dusting colours Cuddy’s cheek, and she smiles again; smaller, but far more sincere. “Thank you, kid. Try to have a good night. You’ve worked hard, especially with a boss like that.” Her eyes slide to House, and he bares his teeth at her mockingly.

You nod, “Thanks, I’ll try.”

With that, House huffs and sidesteps Cuddy, practically dragging you with him. You shoot her an apologetic look, but for a man with a cane, House hobbles fast and you’re quickly crossing the room towards the catering table.

Finally, he untwines your arms, and you look down at his absence. You feel oddly bare. House is staring down at his own elbow, but then he shakes it out like it’s gone numb. He straightens his shoulders and nods towards the table. “Small talk is definitely done now. Food. The second best thing to drugs. Actually, third, to drugs and monster trucks.”

You pick up a plate from the end. “In that order?”

House scoffs, and mimics you, grabbing a plate. “God, no. Have you seen a monster truck? Those things are awesome.”

In silence, you both move along the table, scooping heaps of vegetables, roasted meats, and desserts. He’s the one to stand, and debate over the deserts; quite literally listing off the pros and cons of cream, fruits, chocolate, and pastries. He must sense you staring at him, and he straightens to his full height, looking down his nose at you. “What?”

You raise your spare hand in defence. “I just think that this is the longest you’ve talked to me. Definitely, the longest you’ve been nice to me.”

A strange mixture crosses his face. His mouth slightly opens and his eyes almost soften, but then it’s gone, and he’s clenching his jaw, and rolling his eyes so far back into his head you’re worried he’s having a seizure. “Don’t worry Newbie, I’ll make sure to ride your arse on Monday.”

You snort. Spoke too soon, huh? “I’m sure you’d like that, House.”

He stills and stares at you. “And if I would?”

You chew your lip, looking at him through your lashes. It’s all on the tip of your tongue, about to burst over the edge in a flood of words, but then, somewhere in the room, you hear Cameron’s laugh and remind yourself of her heartbreak. Was House worth that?

You shake your head. “I need to sit down while we eat, otherwise I’m gonna wear chocolate fondue down the front of my dress.”

House doesn’t follow you when you walk to the ducklings' table, and you force yourself to not turn and look for him. You plop into one of the chairs and smile at the three doctors sitting down. You sigh, “Hi. You all look fantastic. Odd, without the lab coats.”

Cameron laughs. She’s in a blue dress with a sweetheart neckline. It makes her eyes vivid, and you mean it when you say she looks fantastic. “Thanks. You look really nice too.”

You grin, abandoning your plate and whipping you leg upwards. You raise your skirt, feeling like a scandalous 1860’s woman, and point your toes at Chase. The ducklings all peer down, and Chase’s face becomes quickly flushed when you speak. “The heels are killer. They were a perfect find, Chase. Thank you.”

He nods, averting his eyes and staring at the table. “No problem.”

Okay. So still weird. It’s Foreman who clears his throat, dissipating the awkward air that had settled. He wriggles his brow. “So, House?”

You groan, and pick at some of the food in front of you. “Don’t get me started.”

Cameron peers at you. “Has he been…tolerable?”

“Um, yeah.” You nod. “At least to me.”

Her eyes dart across the table, but they’re quick to return to you. “I’m glad you’re having a good night then. Maybe it’ll show you that beneath it all, he has some humanity.”

You duck your head, bashfully. “Yeah. He was the one who asked to join me tonight; he said it was an apology for being a dick basically. I know it doesn’t mean he’ll never be a dick again, he’s House for gods sake, but… It’s a good reminder that he has a little bit of a soul.” You clear your throat, trying to blink away the tears springing up in your eyes. “I was thinking of transferring. Giving up. I never even started to make plans, and I’m not sure if I was actually going to.”

Cameron smiles. “I’m glad you didn’t. It’s been great working with you; House isn’t all thunderstorms and rain clouds.”

Foreman laughs sarcastically but Chase scoffs, crossing his arms against his chest. “Really?”

A beat passes, and he stares at Cameron, who shakes her head. “Don’t.”

Chase’s eyes dart back to the skirt of your dress, to where your heels are hidden again. “I think she should know.”

Foreman’s firm voice rings out across the table. “Don’t ruin it, Chase.”

Your eyes narrow. “Know what?”

Cameron begins to open her mouth, but Chase turns in his seat and faces you. “House didn’t ask you to tonight.”

You laugh softly, staring at him. “I was there Chase. He did.”

Chase shakes his head, his hands flying up. “No. Cuddy did. You were skipping counselling and getting withdrawn. You stopped coming out to drinks with us. She knew something was up. Maybe knew what you were planning.”

Cameron’s voice is stern. “Chase, stop it.”

Chase shakes his head, almost in a frenzy. “No!” He locks eyes with you, staring intently. “Cuddy asked him to invite you tonight, weeks ago. When he couldn’t even do that, she had to make a fucking trade with him. He is your date for one night, shows some sort of niceness,” He spits the word, “And gets a month and a half off of clinic duty. He’s not being kind or tender, or human, he’s being House.”

Your eyes flicker towards the rest of the table. Foreman is staring down at the table, shaking his head, and Cameron is practically murdering Chase with her eyes. Her eyes dart towards you, and the soft pity that you find there is enough confirmation. The mouthfuls of food in your stomach turn to lead, and you blanch, pushing up from the table.

Chase is still saying something, and it’s almost apologetic, but you can’t make out the words. There are definitely tears in your eyes now and they make your vision blur.

One of them calls out your name, but you’re already halfway across the room. Doctors at other tables stare at you, and you see Wilson's head perk up. He calls out your last name, but you storm past.

House is standing by the fake palm plant. His plate is jammed into the soil, and his fork stabbed through one of the plastic leaves. He smirks when you appear, and grabs your hand, spinning you. “Just in time Newbie.” He leans his cane against the pot plant. “One dance, and we get to go home.”

You don’t register that he’s leading you to the centre of the foyer. There are a few other dancers there, twirling gently and swaying to the music playing through the announcement system overhead. His hand burns against the curve of your waist and the other one guides your hand to the side of your body. You’re struggling to breathe, but huff out the words. “Are you high?”

He squints one eye and tilts his lips to the side. “A little bit. How else would I be dancing with no cripple stick?” He leads you around the floor, and your feet simply follow him. You clench your jaw. “Or are you just that desperate to get out of here?”

House nods and barks out a laugh. “I’ve already seen two people barf from the seafood. Of course I am.”

You shake your head. “Or is it just me that you want to get away from?”

House scrunches his face. “What? Do you actually have rabies?”

You try to escape his grip, but his hand is firm against your back, caging you in. You stop moving, stilling alongside the edge of the floor. In your peripheral, you think you see Wilson standing up. You drop House’s hand. “I know Cuddy asked you to take me tonight. Although it wasn’t really asking, was it? You had to be fucking paid for it.”

You shove against his chest, and his hand grips yours against his suit. “Did Cuddy say that?”

“What does it matter? Are you denying it?”

He raises his eyebrows. “Well, I wasn’t paid.”

You laugh humourlessly. “You got out of fucking clinic duty for this! Did you have to raise it? Did she offer one week and you demand fucking six of them?”

He scoffs, and drops your hand. “What did you think tonight was? A date?”

You clench your jaw, willing the tears to not fall. They wobble at the edge of your eyes. He blinks in realisation. “God, you wanted this to be a date, didn’t you?’

He soldiers on even when you shake your head. “Yes, you did. That’s why you were smiling and laughing and for once, not being a pain in my arse. You wanted to believe that I had asked you out.”

You have. “I didn’t think you found me so repulsive that you had to be begged to take me tonight.”

“What does it matter what I think? Did you want me to actually ask you out from the bottom of my heart? Pretend that I actually want to be here, and that out of everyone, I would want to be here with you? On a date?”

Wilson reaches you at the edge of the dancefloor, and you finally wrench yourself out of House’s grip. You spit venom at him. “Fuck you, House.”

House laughs your last name bitterly. “I’m sure you wanted to.”

Wilson calls out your last name. “It’s not what you think, he-”

You laugh, your shoulders hunching over. “No, I know exactly what it is. Forgive me for thinking that for once in your miserable life, House, you wanted to apologise to someone or do something kind for them. I’ll make sure to thank Cuddy for the great,” You hiss the word, “night.”

House just stares at you, his jaw flexing and Wilson’s the one rambling a long explanation that you couldn’t give less of a shit about. You turn on your heel and stride across the room, and out of the hospital doors.

[wolfstarhaven]

hello!!!! as autumn is beginning i have been craving some fall wolfstar fics so i would love recs :) specifically hogwarts era but honestly anything would be perfect

Hi anon🌸 You are so right for craving that! Here you have some fics to read, sitting under your blanket with a cup of tea🍂

Hogwarts era:

As Red As Hearts And Autumn (47k)

By: Rosie_Rues

It's the autumn of Sixth Year, there's a flu epidemic at Hogwarts, and the Blacks want their heir back.

Themes: Hogwarts era; slow burn; friends to lovers; epidemic (I read this during Covid but it was written in 2005 and that felt sort of wild I remember)

Fall, the Season of Love (14k)

By: IngeniumNoctuam

Fall is a surprising season and also, apparently, the season of love. Remus finds himself caught up in this seasonal parasite, despite his best efforts. An argument and a jumble of, mostly drunken, memories ensue.

Or, an ode to fall.

Themes: Hogwarts era; angst; Sirius is a bit cruel (but it’s done so well I promise!); self-esteem issues; happy ending.

Come In From the Cold (8k)

By: goodboylupin (somebetterwords)

The first Hogsmeade weekend of sixth year. Alternatively: In which Sirius frets and works to keep Remus warm, James argues it’s not that cold, Remus wishes the cold brought something more, and Peter just wishes everyone would get their heads out of their asses.

Themes: Hogwarts era; Hogsmeade date; misunderstanding; pining Remus; oblivious Sirius; meddling James; fluff.

Not hogwarts era:

ten reasons (to go to michigan) (59k)

By: greyeyedmonster18

A story of simple pleasures, love, and home.

Themes: muggle!au; adult!wolfstar; strangers to lovers; slow burn; grief; Sirius raises Harry; found family. (Will break your heart and then glue it back together)

Ullswater (31k)

By: eyra

A winter term at The Ullswater Institute: late-night rehearsals, dormitory karaoke, and secrets, kept in the labyrinthine corridors underneath the cavernous, frescoed auditorium.

Themes: muggle!au; university; music; friends to lovers; jealous Sirius; panic attacks; disabled remus; SO well-written. (Also: eyra has written many more autumnal fics!!)

On Edge (7k)

By: wannnabesuper

Every time they meet, Remus gives Sirius a new ridiculous reason for having been on the cliff where they met.

Themes: muggle!au; strangers to lovers; a misty cliffside; first fluff then some angst.

Harmonicas, Hinky-punks, and Heather (24k)

By: mblematic

Sirius and Remus get stranded in Scotland on Order business, and decide to walk to Hogwarts. Featuring the Brontës, a harmonica, a shrinking tent, and some self-discovery.

Themes: post-Hogwarts; first war era; rain; camping; friends to lovers; no angst.

Liebestraum (101k)

By: lunchbucket

“Do you still have a lot of friends in the area, then?”

“None,” Remus answered simply, which felt much easier than explaining at the level of detail that the question actually deserved.

Themes: muggle!au; post-break up; getting back together; slow burn; NYC; classical piano; musicians!wolfstar; adult!wolfstar; angst. (A classic. But if you’ve already read it, I think it’s time for a reread, don’t you?)

Degrees of Intersection (28k)

By: muse_in_absentia

Sometimes it takes two people who are a little broken coming together, not to heal, but to understand that being broken is okay.

Themes: muggle!au; strangers to lovers; writer!sirius; editor!remus; depression; suicidal thoughts and SH (read the tags!!!); angst with a happy ending. (I THINK this is set it autumn - but mainly it’s the angst in this that gives me autumn vibes)

Love,

Elliot🍂

[tickldpnk8]

Sandman Reread Recap

Time to update this pinned post with all of the latest links. I’m currently rereading the entire series (slowly!) as I look for clues and foreshadowing I missed during my first marathon read through. You can follow along by following any of my tags below or by following #sandman book club. So without further ado:

Season of Mists

Prologue/Chapter 1: Dream's nature, The Fates have it in for Morpheus, importance of Hob and Daniel to Morpheus

Chapter 2: Lucifer/Morpheus parallels

Chapter 3: plot setup and hierarchy of pantheons

Chapter 4: what the heck is Death up to? nature of Hell

Chapter 5: World-building, how Dream's aspects are perceived

Chapter 6: Morpheus' powers, foreshadowing

Epilogue Part 1: the terrible burden of Morpheus taking on so many names and denying himself attributes of those names

Epilogue Part 2: what exactly is the nature of Morpheus' deal with the trickster?

Bonus: At Death's Door: sisterly fluff and a softer take on Despair

Bonus Meta: Endless' relationships as concepts: or what did Nada do to defy Kai'kul?

Art comparisons:

That Ceiling: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Dream's Castle vs Assyrian Lamassu

Destiny's Gallery vs Sir Joshua Reynolds

Destiny's Gallery vs Pinkie

Lords of Order vs Piet Mondrian

Dream's Study vs Koryusai

Dream's outfit vs Mucha (by @notallsandmen)

Distant Mirrors

Thermidor: Morpheus' deals, how human is Orpheus?

Thermidor: Literary reference

August: Dream's ravens, Greek gods, dreams and the Dreaming, A Day to Live

Three Septembers and a January: family dynamics, foreshadowing and another literary tie-in

Song of Orpheus

Song of Orpheus: Orpheus' nature, notes on grief, Endless family, intro of Destruction, Morpheus' relationships, foreshadowing

Winter's Edge

Flower's of Romance: Desire can rock any outfit (or art style), Del's wedding, gods come from the Dreaming

Death: A Winter's Tale: Nature of death/Death, death as a concept, the sibling relationship between Death and Morpheus

How They Met Themselves: Nature of Desire and how they relate to their twin and also Death, an art history lesson on the Pre-Raphaelites and a literary reference

Misc Metas

Hob and William Caxton: some background information on the earliest printshop on English soil

My art

Sketch of Gault/Ann Ogbomo

Medieval Manuscript Morpheus

Sandman Netflix Speculation

Sandman Season 2 Casting Masterlist

My Final Prediction for the Episode Breakdown

Morpheus' Family Dinner Costume Analysis

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Language Barriers

same anon as like 5 minutes ago, I remembered the fluffy prompt! Could you write a Sanders Sides DLAMPR fic (before they get together) where all of the Sides have different love languages? And they’re all trying to flirt in their own way, but the others keep misinterpreting it? A lot of TSS fic features the Sides having different love languages (and I’d like to think they do, in canon), but I’ve yet to see a fic that specifically focuses on that fact and describes the differences between love languages. Feel free to ignore, and remember to take care of yourself! – anon

hey I love love love love LOVE your writing! If you’re open to prompts rn, I’ve just reread your story "Idiots, Idiots, Everywhere" and it’s awesome, thanks very much, BUT. Are you willing to write a Sanders Sides fic where it focuses more specifically on all the Sides having different love languages? Bonus points if it’s DLAMPR (but platonic PR, this is an incest-free household) and all the Sides are like “…but he’s like this with everyone”. No pressure at ALL, but it’d be cool to see how you approach that. – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: none

Pairings: dlampr

Word Count: 3431

Or, five times the Sides misunderstood each other's love languages, and one time Thomas got fed up with it and decided to just...explain it to them with the efficiency they have when they're trying to explain something to him. Which is to say: it takes them a second to get it. The Imagination helps.

Physical Touch

If you were to ask anyone, they would tell you that Patton loves giving people hugs.

It’s the bane of some of their existences, they’d try to claim, and the others might just shrug and say that’s Patton for you. He knows his kiddos love it, at least a little bit. But he won’t lie, he does love a good hug. There’s just something so magical about how, out of all the shapes humans could have possibly been, they’re just perfectly designed to hold one another. Isn’t that just perfect?

Logan would probably say something about evolution and adaptation to the needs of their environment, or something, but he’s not gonna rain on Patton’s parade. Humans are hug-shaped, so they’re gonna hug. Besides, he’s not complaining when he’s working downstairs in the winter and he’s gotten too absorbed in his work and then a Patton-shaped heating pad just comes along and hugs him.

Patton loves hugging all of the Sides. Logan because he’s always so surprised by it, in a good way! He gets this soft little look that is almost on the edge of a smile, like he wasn’t expecting it but it’s the best possible outcome he never could have predicted. Or when he’s trying to comfort Patton and he hugs with undeniable certainty.

Virgil is also fun to hug, because he’s such a pouty-face about it. He snuggles up as much as any of them but he has to put on his mopey show first, just in case anyone’s watching. Virgil also gives the mopey hugs too, but then he makes himself just a bit bigger so he can wrap all the way around Patton. Which is the best.

Speaking of wrapping all the way around, Janus has six arms and he uses every single one of them. They get into competitions sometimes—not serious! It’s all for fun!—about who can surprise-hug each other the worst. Or best. Janus is currently winning from the time he managed to make himself look like the chair in the living room with a blanket over it; Patton sat down and boo!

Remus isn’t allowed to do surprise hugs, not after he accidentally tackled Patton into his Kraken’s pond and they had to spend the rest of the afternoon trying to get out of the pond. But Remus’s hugs are the kind that squish his soul right back into his body and ugh, there’s nothing better than that after a long day. Besides, it’s not like expecting Remus’s hugs takes anything away, he’s still going to squeeze him so hard he might not be able to breathe for a few seconds, but that’s Remus!

And then with Roman—Roman hugs the way every single knight from a fairytale should hug. He just makes you feel safe and precious and like nothing in the world could hurt you. It’s why Patton always sits next to Roman during scary movie nights, after all, even if he gets teased about it a little. Roman doesn’t mind.

So yes, Patton does love hugging all of them. But it doesn’t have to be hugging! It can be holding hands, or just leaning against each other, just as long as he can feel them and tell himself yes, they’re okay, they’re right here, I love them.

Because he does. He loves them terribly. Even if they think he’s just a big fan of hugs.

***

2. Quality Time

Virgil has the reputation of being the cat of the Mindscape for good reason. Not because he hisses at things that don’t cooperate—the other Sides are not excluded from this—and not because he spits up hairballs—it was one time, Remus, and it was entirely your fault—but because he has a habit of just appearing in the same room and hanging out for a while.

…alright, it’s not a habit, he does it on purpose.

Companionable silence really is the best way to go about things. You’re both close enough to talk if you want to, but each of them is allowed to do their own thing and hey, there’s another person doing their own thing too. Which is why it’s his favorite way of hanging out with Logan, especially when he needs to make sure that something gets done. He’s always down to affectionately bully Logan into whatever he asks him to make sure he does.

He does that with Remus too, but it’s not exactly the same: Remus needs someone to make sure he doesn’t actually destroy anything, and he’s more than happy to oblige. Especially since he likes to get a bit of a heads-up before a rampaging beast goes barreling through the kitchen at some ungodly hour of the morning.

If he’s never beating the cat allegations, Janus sure as hell isn’t helping. There’s a big window in the Dark Sides’ half of the Mindscape that is perfect for lying in for, oh, a few hours on end. Remus has many—too many, if you ask Virgil—pictures of the two of them just basking in the sun, dozing like they haven’t got a care in the world.

Virgil’s actual favorite place to sleep is with his head in Patton’s lap. Especially after he’s just finished baking, when he’s all warm from the oven and he smells like sugar and spice…Virgil will sit on the counter or the floor and listen to Patton talk about whatever he wants and then while the oven bakes, he’ll fall asleep right in Patton’s lap. He even gets first dibs on whatever just got made.

Roman makes a game of it. He’s the Prince, every good Prince needs a rogue to work with. They trek all over the Imagination, having adventures, defeating monsters, it’s the perfect mix of Roman’s quests and Virgil’s need to be a creepy little shit in every dark corner he can find. Being with Roman even makes boring council meetings fun, because he gets to terrify the idiots that they’re just gonna fight later anyway and he gets to spend time with Roman.

He doesn’t care what he’s doing, not really, just as long as he can spend time with them. He just…wishes they would understand that sometimes.

***

3. Words of Affirmation

Logan is no stranger to impostor syndrome, but that doesn’t mean he has to allow it to plague those he cares for. Understanding something to be true on an intellectual level and feeling the validation that comes from hearing someone else voice it are two very different things. The other Sides are each remarkable in their own right. They deserve to hear it.

Patton is kind. He does not say that lightly: kind people who choose to be kind because they know how difficult it is are not individuals to be trifled with. Patton makes the conscious choice to try and be better every single day. He is earnest and sincere, sometimes painfully so, but he does not allow himself to be dissuaded by obstacles. How could Logan not want to express his admiration?

And Roman…oh, Roman is a wonder. There is so much that goes into his work that often goes unnoticed, or underappreciated, and it is a crime that Logan too often finds himself on the wrong side of that line. Roman is clever and funny and has a work ethic that, truly, rivals Logan’s own. For every slight he makes, however unintentional, he tries his best to make up for it by telling Roman in no uncertain terms how honored Logan is to be part of his creative process.

Remus is an entirely different story, no pun intended. Remus is unabashedly and unapologetically himself, and as such is a marvel to behold. He cares not for the sanitization or reduction of anything in his work, and so Logan does his best to follow suit. Remus is who he is, and it is beautiful.

He tells Janus he’s beautiful too. And not once is he lying. The first time he did it, Janus laughed in his face, at least until he realized Logan was telling the truth. He then didn’t see Janus for an entire week. It ended when a little snake plushie appeared outside of his door in the middle of the night with a tiny note that just said thank you. He tells Janus he’s beautiful every chance he gets now.

Virgil is his little alley cat. Perfectly fine to approach on his terms, but will let him know with no uncertainties when he’s getting a little too close. It doesn’t help that Virgil is quite fun to tease, even if all he’s doing is giving him compliments—true compliments, mind you—and watching in amusement as Virgil curls up into a ball with his hood pulled down over his ears as if that could hide how red they are. He’s not cruel about it, of course; he stops the moment Virgil appears genuinely uncomfortable and there are certain topics he doesn’t go near. But Virgil can’t always hide his little grin and so on it goes.

He’s quite happy to shower them with his words, he just…doesn’t know if they’d believe him if he said I love you.

***

4. Acts of Service

Words are difficult. There is so much ambiguity to be found in even the most basic of sentences, and when it comes to matters like this, Janus prefers to take as few chances as possible. Whoever coined the phrase ‘actions speak louder than words,’ Janus definitely owes a drink for how spot-on it is.

Whenever Patton needs a hand in the kitchen, he’s always the first to volunteer. He can do up to three things in the time it would take another Side to do just one, after all, and he’s had enough experience cooking for the troublemakers (Virgil and Remus) to know how to get around most of their pranks. And how to get them back.

Logan, bless him, has a tendency to overwork himself at the best of times. And in doing so, he gets these terrible knots and cramps in his neck and shoulders from hunching over his desk for hours on end. It might not be the most polite of things to practically blackmail his way into giving Logan a massage, but the poor dear always falls right to sleep so he mustn’t mind too much.

Remus and his delightful menagerie of creatures often need more than their fair share of attention. He had to pester Remus into getting him a raincoat and muck boots that could withstand the acidic slime, but weekend mornings found them strolling cheerfully through pens and cages and paddocks, tending to the bizarre flock. Anything to make the chore more of a fun activity and less of, well, a chore, when Remus really doesn’t suit stressed-out frowns as well as manic grins.

Virgil has a terrible habit of not asking for reassurance when he needs it. Janus regrets the part he played in making it that way. So, no matter how small and stupid Virgil may think it is, whenever he asks for help, Janus gives it. A tug on his cloak or a soft please will have him do anything from turn the light in the hallway on to checking the poor thing over for wounds after a brutal nightmare. It took long enough for Janus to re-earn that trust, he’s not going to lose it if he can damn well help it.

Out of everyone in the Mindscape, only Roman truly appreciates his love of theater. Sure, the others are game to help out here and there, but when it comes to the art of make-believe, Roman is the proud owner of Janus’s ‘yes-and’ partnership. The two of them make all sorts of stories together, from villains and heroes to morally grey adventurers, to simple fairytales and old plays. Roman needs someone else to help him play the roles and Janus is more than happy to play with him.

Perhaps one day, he might be able to reveal that everything he does for them, he does because it’s them, but for now, he’ll happily play the role they expect of him.

***

5. Gifts

Roman and Remus do not, in fact, fight over who gets to give the most presents to the other Sides.

Instead, they fight over whose idea they work on first.

For Logan, Remus’s self-writing pen narrowly won out over Roman’s proposal for a never-ending notebook, if only because said pen squirted ink into Roman’s mouth before he could finish his argument. They ended up giving both to Logan at the same time, but the pen was decidedly on top and did its own little celebratory wriggle when Logan used it for the first time.

Remus nearly challenged Roman to a formal duel when it came to designing a heat lamp for Janus that wouldn’t run the same risk of burning out the electricity in their section of the Mindscape. They managed to agree on everything up to the design on the lampshade. Roman said it should be a yellow snake, curled up and sleeping, and Remus wanted it to be a big leaf that Janus could lay under like he was actually outside. The compromise was eventually reached over many hours of almost bloodshed and now the sleeping snake under a leaf is a staple in the corner of Janus’s room.

Roman cleverly proposed Virgil’s weighted blanket while Remus was being crushed under said blanket, leaving not a lot of wiggle room until he had to agree. Of course, he promptly fell asleep and cuddled Roman into a pile of goo, so technically they made both the blanket and the plushie at around the same time. Virgil still brings the little skeleton to movie nights.

Patton gets their presents one after the other, because you need one to understand the other’s context. A rebreather designed to slip on over the person’s face just like any other face mask, to filter out particulates and allergens. Something that could be worn for up to two consecutive hours before it needed to be recharged.

The other present was a box full of kittens.

”Ro?”

“Yeah?”

Remus pushes his goggles to the top of his head and looks over the desk. “Do you think they’ll ever get it?”

Roman sighs, closing his notebook and leaning back to stretch. “I don’t know, Re. I love them, really, they just…”

”Don’t realize.”

“Yeah. It’s okay, though. We’ll get there eventually.”

“Of course we will. Hand me that wrench, would you?”

“The one that’s covered in guts, or the one that’s made out of foam?”

“The foam one. I need to whack this thing but I don’t wanna hit it too hard.”

“I’m not gonna ask any more questions.”

***

+1: I Love You

”Hey!” Patton rises up first, clapping his hands. “Oh. I’m the only one here.”

“Only by a moment,” Logan says as he joins him. “Is Thomas here?”

“No, I just got summoned by—well, I thought it was Thomas but he’s not here.”

“Whoa, hey!” Virgil appears on the staircase. “What’s going on? I was in the middle of watching someone.”

“Don’t you mean ‘something?’” Remus appears, covered in slime and cackling. “Ah. I see.”

“I’ve got it,” Roman says, rising up and spraying his brother with something that somehow manages to dissolve all the goo without staining or spraying anything else. “There. Now maybe you’ll think twice about surprising Uma when she’s feeding?”

“Oh, I’m gonna do this so many more times!”

”I felt the exasperation from my room,” Janus sighs, appearing, “what’s Remus done now?”

“Why did you assume it was Remus?” Janus just looks at Logan. “Fair enough.”

”Now that we’re all here, what is this about?” He looks around, frowning. “Where’s Thomas?”

“That’s weird, is he not the one who called for a meeting?”

“What’s that?” Virgil reaches out and picks up a piece of paper from the coffee table. “‘Each one of you needs a card, find the matches.’ What cards?”

“Here.” Logan picks up something that fell when Virgil picked up the paper. “There are only five of them, though, and six of us.”

“What do they say?”

“Let me see…one says ‘Physical Touch,’ one says ‘Acts of Service,’ one says…oh, I see.”

“I don’t,” Patton says, “can you share with the class?”

“Wait, wait, I think I know what this is, is one of them ‘Quality Company’ or something?”

“‘Quality Time,’ yes.”

Roman nods. “It’s the Five Love Languages.”

“Thomas doesn’t even speak Spanish!”

“No, no, Padre, not literal languages, it’s…it’s the ways you express your affection for someone. How you tell them you love them. There’s five: physical touch, acts of service, quality time…”

“‘Words of Affirmation,’” Logan continues, reading off the other cards, “and ‘Gifts.’”

Virgil hunches his shoulders. “So what, are we supposed to pick one?”

“I believe the intention of the exercise is to…select which one is our love language.”

Janus huffs. “Why? What does Thomas have to gain from doing something like this? And where is he?”

“Maybe he’s not the one who summoned us.”

“Well then who did?”

“Maybe if we do the thing we can find out.”

Janus sighs, peering over Logan’s shoulder and squinting. “I guess this one’s mine, then.”

“‘Acts of Service?’ Very well. I suppose I’ll take ‘Words of Affirmation.’”

“Can I have the touch one?”

“Certainly.”

“Twins get ‘Gifts,’ obviously,” Virgil mutters, “which means I get the…time one, or whatever.”

Logan hands out the last two cards and they stand there for a moment, waiting for something to happen.

Nothing does.

Patton looks back down at his card. “Wait, did you say these are how we tell people we love them?”

“That is a simple definition of this, why?”

“Because you guys do these with everyone!”

There’s a pause. Logan adjusts his glasses. “Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but…yes, I do indeed give you all words of affirmation, because, well…”

“Aww,” Virgil says, “do you love us, Logan?”

Logan coughs, blushes, and adjusts his tie. “I believe that is a logical conclusion, yes.”

“Aww!” Patton squeals. “I love you guys too!”

”So whoever set this up knew that we were all trying to tell each other that—“ Roman starts.

“—and needed to hammer it into our heads what was happening,” Remus finishes.

“Well,” Janus sniffs, even as a smile threatens the corners of his mouth, “how dramatic.”

Virgil tugs on the strings of his hoodie. “Yeah. How dramatic.”

There’s another pause.

Roman coughs. “Uh, this seems like a good a time as any, um…Remus and I put together a festival thing in the Imagination for everyone, if you want to…if you want to come and see it.”

“It has everyone’s favorite state fair stuff,” Remus sands, “and there’s supposed to be a northern-lights kind of thing after it gets dark.”

“Can we cuddle?”

“Of course.”

“Will there be food?”

“Your favorite, shadow-ling.”

“You two are so thoughtful,” Logan says softly, “I would love to come.”

“I can get the good blankets from the closet,” Janus offers, and everyone grins, “should we meet there in ten?”

“Oh, this is going to be so much fun!”

The Imagination is just happy they finally sorted it out. Now, to give the six of them a group date they’ll never forget…

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[illicien]

What drew you to winterbaron as a ship? What kind of content do you read? Is it different from the kind of content you write? Would you like to rec a few winterbaron works? My friend is into the ship and I'm trying to see if it's something I might like but all the fics they've recked me are kind of the same in tone so I'm looking for others opinions for some variety.

Hmm! I've sort of answered some of this in the past so sorry to my moots getting this rehash.

A friend of mine dragged me into WinterBaron (kicking and screaming!!!) rather simply, actually, though what kept me here was the more grand implications of her simple origins. I'm kind of a sucker for a true power bottom, and fanart my friend kept sending me implied the fandom saw Zemo as such, and I was at least a little bit intrigued there. Enough to take a deeper look, at least.

The better discovery wasn't that the fandom had decided he was a power bottom, but that there was a strong push and pull of power in their dynamic. Bucky has all the physical power between them, it's a big thing, he's strong as hell. On the other hand, Zemo is just a guy, and yet despite that Bucky should logically have all the power between them, Zemo's intelligence and knowledge tend to leave him with an edge. That continues to be the fascinating concept about Zemo to me, but that's a different matter.

So for me, it's the manipulation, the push and pull of power, it's Bucky trying to break free of being the Winter Soldier and Zemo trying to decide if Bucky's just like every other super soldier. But it's also about understanding that Zemo knows Bucky in ways most people alive don't. He knows and understands Bucky's history as the Winter Soldier both through his research, and as a man who did horrific things on behalf of his country. And that thought can sometimes lead to softer moments of understanding, I think, that can be enjoyable in fic.

As for content I read vs write: I generally gravitate towards dark fic with these two, though there's plenty of really good stuff that isn't. There are some excellent explorations of kink in the fandom for them which is refreshing. I don't really write them as dark as I read them, since I enjoy writing the power dynamics more than the overt manipulation, but if you're looking for more tonal variety I'm sure I can make some recommendations! (Under the cut!)

** Please make sure you read all of the tags thoroughly. What I enjoy in fiction may not be to your taste, and I respect that, but the best I can do is to link to the site with the tags. 💜

Recs (under 20k words)

Just A Little More by @six-demon-bag epitomizes a lot of what I've said above, and if I didn't start out with it on the list here I'd be doing myself a disservice for how often I reread this.

Bucky goes into a painful rut and Zemo seizes the opportunity to sink newer, more subtle hooks into him.

Breathless by @zsparz is one I like to return to whenever I'm looking to feel sad but don't have a lot of time to read. I can't explain why this one hits me so hard but holy smokes does it make me weepy. Sparz is great at making me cry, though, so like - anyway.

The water kept rising. Bucky could hold his breath a long time underwater, and he remembered vividly how he’d acquired that knowledge. Sam might find him in time.

But Zemo would be long dead by then.

Past Indiscretions by @sagegarnish makes me laugh, genuinely. The whole idea of it brings me a lot of joy, and the execution is delightful.

Bucky and Zemo are trapped in 1941.

Unfortunately Bucky's past self is the only one who might know where the missing Pym Particles are that they need to get home.

When young!Bucky pulls Zemo into an alley, Bucky is forced to watch as a drunken forgotten night from his past becomes a lot clearer.

Recs (20k+ words)

That Which You Fear by @spintwinwb is a trilogy that starts off feeling like an AU and turns into something really fascinating imo. Lots of extra goodies here for comics fans, too.

Instead of freeing the people of Westview, Wanda pushed out across multiverses to get her brother back, and the entire world was caught in the crossfire. Cast in a new, peaceful life in upstate New York in a world with mutants, no Avengers, and no HYDRA, Bucky Barnes struggles to reconcile memories and dreams that no longer make sense with what he thinks he knows about himself.

One Two Many by @six-demon-bag is sweet and fun and complicated, and I really did try not to double-up on authors here but agh. What am I supposed to do??

Bucky and Zemo meet on an anonymous dating app and find a deep connection in each other. In the meantime, they grow closer in person without realizing they’re falling in love online too.

Too Good To Be True by AnadoraBlack is really one of those fics where the tropes are used so well, imo. A very enjoyable read.

Bucky wakes up with no recollection of where he is, how he found himself there, and what the heck is going on. There's also a ring on his finger, and time lost. What the living FUCK?!

The Original Sin by @zsparz because I might as well completely fail at the "only one per author" in spectacular fashion. This sits here because it sits on a very peculiar line between canon and AU and just... like I said. Sparz makes me cry. This isn't a departure from that fact.

Bucky and Zemo keep meeting over the course of several lifetimes. Zemo remembers everything. Bucky doesn’t, but there’s an eerie impression of familiarity he can’t shake — an old pain he can’t explain, with roots too deep for him to reach.

AU Recs

Removing Bucky and Zemo from the context of their complicated history in the MCU can highlight different aspects of their characters that are really interesting to explore, as someone who finds their unique characters quite interesting as well, though I also know it isn't for everyone. Neither of these recs are short so if you don't mind an AU, set some time aside for these ones.

It Started Out With a Curse by Thorny is a fun AU I never really expected to find in this fandom. I personally have a history of writing in fantasy settings so this one has a special place in my heart.

What happens when the King and Queen of a human kingdom slight a powerful fae Lord known only as "The Baron"?

Enter a world of FairyTale/Fantasy Shenanigans as Prince James navigates his deadly curse and his confusing feelings for one (seemingly) cold and untouchable fae Lord. Meanwhile, something sinister is afoot trying to gouge a rift between the feywilds and the human kingdoms...

A Gentleman and a Scholar by EternalBeta is a no powers exploration of their dynamic that's... Beautiful. It also tackles a lot of things about kink that it feels like most fic and stories generally seem to ignore. There's also an amazing sequel series.

(this series doesn't have an easy summary available so I uh... I'll give it a go here: college student Bucky has a thing for his professor, and a whole series of bad decisions behind him. The trouble is, Bucky is impatient, and Professor Zemo doesn't fuck students. So Bucky better hurry up and graduate.)

Many of the writers above have at least a few WinterBaron fics, and I do highly recommend checking out their collections. Sparz and Six-Demon in particular have some really widely varied concepts and stories they tackle, and if you're curious at all I'd also recommend checking out Sholio who has some excellent Sam/Bucky/Zemo fics! I didn't toss recs here because they weren't the heart of the ask, but I gobbled those up easily for some very sweet treaties.

[mythrilthread]

Frigid by Guede

This story has a delicious dark fairy tale vibe. It's something I'll very much enjoy rereading on a cold winter evening.

❄️ Lovingly waxed the hell out of the covers, so they have a nice subtle sheen;

❄️ Really happy with this title page, I cleaned up an illustration from The Pacific tourist (1876) for it;

❄️ I knew from the start I wanted some fancy drop caps, and imagine my delight when I found that the author uses a letter form Goudy Initialen font as a userpic! Of course I went with it as a little easter egg!

❄️ For the endpapers I went for a dramatic red acrylic splatter over very textured paper for that blood on snow feel, because I can't resist being a bit cheeky;

❄️ And to complete the overall winter theme I painted the edges a fun glittery silver.

[merakiui]

Since you don’t mind being asked for recommendations, do you have any horror or thriller book recommendations to give? I just thought that you must have read a lot to nail the terrifying atmosphere in your fics so well.

Aaaa thank you for saying so!!! I'm glad my fics have scary atmosphere. As for horror/thriller recs, here are a few that I have read and enjoyed!

Definitely the Red Eye series. I can't recommend it enough. orz but my personal favorites from the series would be:

✧ Frozen Charlotte by Alex Bell (also the prequel Charlotte Says) - these are amazing. I can't recommend Alex Bell's work enough. I reread Frozen Charlotte every year because it's such a delicious horror story. I may be biased because of the Victorian charm it has, especially in the prequel, but overall it's really enjoyable and I highly recommend it.

✧ Flesh & Blood by Simon Cheshire - THE ENDING. OHHHHH, IT GUTTED ME IN THE BEST WAY. I loved the suspicion in this one. So tangible.

✧ Sleepless by Lou Morgan - this one was great! The concept of wealthy uni students getting their hands on "study aid" drugs and then losing their minds as a result was so fascinating to read about. It's been a while since I've read it, so I can't remember if it was truly horrifying. Moreso unsettling.

✧ Savage Island by Bryony Pearce (also the sequel Cruel Castle) - THIS STORY. OMG IT GUTTED ME IN THE WORST WAY. I had to take a walk after I read the last chapter in Savage Island. Savage Island is such a brutal horror. It made me squirm. It was just so !!!!!!!!!! Cruel Castle was also an enjoyable sequel filled with lots of tension.

✧ Whiteout by Gabriel Dylan - I love novels that confine the characters to a bleak backdrop, especially when it's in the middle of winter. Stuck in a ski resort that's been snowed in... aaaaa what a yummy premise. From beginning to end, I was on the edge of my seat.

As for things outside of the Red Eye:

✧ The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole - a gothic classic!!! I love the haunting imagery. It sticks with me.

✧ The Brothers Grimm fairy tales - I can't recommend just a single fairy tale because I think all of them are wonderful. So creepy. orz

✧ The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe - AAAAAA I LOVE TELL-TALE HEART!!!!!! One of my favorite works by Poe. The unreliable narrator, the tension, the suspense, the breakdown at the end when he tears up the floorboards........ so good.

There is so much more I want to recommend, but I can't remember the titles of everything. T_T my brain is scrambled egg,,,, but one day I will create a reading list/favorite fiction list and share it for more recs!!! >w<