#winter recovery 👍

[lamina-tsrif]

hnn. i should draw

[deepperplexity]

Prompt 21: Star Of Wishes [B8]

Pairing: Snape x Fem!OC

POV: First, OC

Setting: OC’s home -> Severus’s hidden place

Continuation of: Prompt 2. Restless Waiting, 3. Snowballing, 7. Stormy Reunion,  8. Rosemary For Holly, 16. Keep Warm, 19. Hope & 20. Returning Home

A/N: TODAY WE WRAP UP SEVERUS’ STORY! I’m super drained, tbh, but I so loved writing this part and giving everyone that HEA even if it doesn’t happen until the very end so to say 😂🙈 We do get some lovely smut though, hope you'll enjoy the emotional ride of the intimacy too 🤭 This might be the last long fic for the year. I have 0 time, I have no idea how I’m gonna be able to write the next 3 fics and get them up but I’ll manage somehow 😂 I still don’t know what prompt 23 and 24 will be this year, I do know that tomorrows prompt will be the one I use to wrap up Turpin’s story — how, I have no idea yet. We’ll see 😂👍

+A/N: This part of the serial contains a relationship dynamic in the beginning that can be extremely toxic and dangerous when real, but this is FICTION, and as the author I have created this relationship with the intention of it being trauma-healing, safe, loving, and no harm have or will come to any of the characters due to the relationship or any acts of either of the characters. If you feel this relationship matches yours, PLEASE take a step back and really evaluate if you are in a dangerous relationship - if your partner is treating you in a manner that isn’t loving or safe.

Tags/TW’s: Kisses, embracing, Harsh and Soft Touching, Apologising For Ones Behaviour, Slight Snark, Trying Ones Best, Stunted Emotional Development, Confessions of Regret/Hurt/Anger/Fear/Pain/Lacking Knowledge/Love/Affection/Trust, Explicit Description, Dark Sexual Past, Gentle and Caring Touches, Hints At Past Sexual Abuse/Coercion/Rape (not graphic or described),

Word Count: 4.7k

LINKTREE // AO3 // MASTERLIST

It had been over seven months since the day I thought my heart would stop. The day I found him more dead than alive in the Shrieking Shack. The day a strange little elf was sent to me with a message from someone a mere boy, which led me to find the man I loved so broken — poisoned, snake venom slithering through his veins no magic could have stopped. But my mom, she stopped it. My mom, a muggle who the Dark Lord so much detested, had won over his own snake.

The year had passed in a blurry ordeal of pain, love, recovery, and healing. But still, there was so much healing needed I could barely wrap my head around it. Christmas was upon us, and I hadn’t the heart to decorate our home. The home we ended up sharing, just me and Severus. At first, it was to get away from everyone and give him a chance to heal, but it changed about a month ago. A month ago, it became something different, an emotional journey for the two of us one could say. Spewed words of hatred, panic attacks through dark nights, long stretches of time without a word spoken from him, my dear broken man.

I didn’t give up, yet yesterday, when he’d so viciously barked at me about the time I’d decorated his office and how stupid I’d been to do such a thing — well, something broke in me. I hadn’t decorated our home, I hadn’t put up anything related to Christmas despite it being the 21st of December now and my most loved holiday. I’d simply allowed our home to remain barren, for his sake, as he seemed to hate the holiday with a vengeance unlike any I’d ever seen.

“I’ll take a walk,” I called through the little house, not expecting any response. The cold winter air greeted me but there was no wind, not a sound from beyond the bubble the little house sat in at the very end of a clearing in some ancient forest I still had no idea of the location of. I could only apparate there since I knew what it looked like.

My heart ached for the man left behind in the house while stepping into the night. No matter what, I wouldn’t give up on him. He had every right to be broken, hurt, lost — but sometimes I had to take some time for myself to find the strength and courage I needed to go on when his hatred and pain shined too brightly. Sometimes, I was the only one around he could lash out against and even if it hurt beyond anything else to hear such foul words in his voice directed at me, I still loved him more than anything and the nights when I held him tight I just knew it would pass. Eventually, time would heal his wounds and I’d still be there. I would never abandon him, something I knew he feared above all else yet he always showed I was free to come and go as I pleased. He knew what it was to be trapped, he didn't wish that for me in any sense of the word.

The snow crunched beneath my shoes, I slipped on my mittens and shoved my hands into my coat’s pockets while walking ahead. Above me, just before I left the clearing and the trees would obscure the sky, I saw the little stars speckling the darkness. I paused for a second to just look at the enormity of the universe, to get perspective perhaps, or simply allow myself to think of how small things can mean so much in the enormity of it all. A falling star streaked by, and I couldn’t help but close my eyes and send a wish to it. It was a childish thing to do perhaps, but I wished for Severus to allow me to help him and be close with him. Some day it might come true, he’s trying already…

I walked around for nearly two hours, until my toes were numb and my cheeks beyond chilly. Just breathing, imagining a happy Christmas with him. “In the future, when he’s healed… Maybe then…” I murmured to myself as I stomped off my boots and stepped back into our little home.

I lost my breath.

When I left, the house had been dark, dreary, void of all things Christmas but now… Now there were decorations everywhere. Eternally burning candles, perfectly green garlands, golden ornaments, and red bows littered every surface, door frame, and window. The house had turned into a Christmas-littered haven perfectly decorated to my own taste, almost as I had decorated Severus’s office a year ago — just slightly different colours.

“What in the world,” I whispered as I dragged off my fluffy mittens and shrugged out of my coat. “S-Severus! I don’t mean to alarm you but I think Santa broke in!” I called, my brain not able to think of another reason why our house looked like Christmas heaven. “No, love,” he murmured as he appeared in the doorway to the living room beyond the hallway I was moving through. “I am apologizing,” he continued and the sweet look of guilt and hope covering his features made my heart ache.

“Severus, what-, why?” I asked as he straightened and reached for my hand to tug me into his arms. I followed without any resistance. I always wanted to be in his arms, one of the many things I always wished for while I nursed him back to health physically after my mom had saved his life. “I said dreadful things.” “You’re trying, Sev.” “No, you are trying, Linna—” he exhaled the words into my hair “—and I’m constantly making it harder for you.” “Healing takes time, Sev. It takes time.” “It gives me no right to take it out on you, you have done nothing but stand by me.” “I always will, I won’t abandon you.” “I almost wish you would, it would be easier to be in misery than… deal with it all.” “Oh, stop, you’re a strong man, you can deal with it.” “Love, you overestimate my abilities, and underestimate your importance…”

For a long moment, I said nothing, just thought about his words — the sweet ones he now spoke and the hurtful ones that came out when we tried to process his trauma. It wasn’t easy to stay, wasn’t easy to take it and not retort or yell or scream or cry. But the hardest thing I had ever done was stay away from him, nothing else came close to it.

“Will you forgive me?” he asked, his voice low and nearly that of someone frightened. “I-, Severus… you don’t need my—” “Your forgiveness is the only one I need.” “I won’t forgive you then,” I said softly. “I won’t forgive you until you fight harder.” “Love, I—” “No, you’re the strongest man I’ve ever met. I’m nothing compared to you and I have nothing to equal your pain and hurt, your strength, or your bravery, so if I only have this one thing to hold over your head I bloody well will, Sev.” “Feisty today, are we?”

His voice was teasing, yet the hurt and fear still lingered behind it all and I couldn’t help but feel even more love for the man who dealt so poorly with his own emotions — he’d never been allowed any, so how would he ever know how to deal with them properly? I did the only thing I could think of, I hugged him with all my strength until his arms wrapped around me and I felt some of the tension leave his body. “Silly man,” I whispered. “You really need to learn how to deal with your emotions.” “I’m… I am trying,” he confessed and I knew he spoke true. He was trying with everything he had and I’d be with him every step of the way.

We stood there, for the longest moment, until I felt the urge to explore all the Christmas decorations he’d filled the house with. “I thought you hated Christmas with a passion as strong as amortentia’s power to make people go insane with obsession.” “I do.” “Then, why?” “You are the obsessed in this case,” he chuckled. “So, for me, then?” He merely nodded but I smiled warmly at him. It was a giant act of care and love on his part, it only made me love the holiday even more.

We walked through the little house, I looked at everything he’d done in a sort of stunned silence until we got to the bedroom. “Really?” I asked and arched a brow at him, he shrugged while raising his own brows in a sort of “what?” kind of expression. “Rosemary?” “Well…” he murmured as his cheeks took on the tiniest hint of pink, barely there but significant enough for me to notice after having gotten to know him so well the past few months. “I love it,” I said and kissed his cheek gently. “It’s perfect,” I continued while allowing my eyes to rest another moment on the rosemary twigs replacing the holly — just like it had done a year ago.

“Love, I truly am sorry… I shouldn’t have said the things I did, or done it in the manner I did.” “I know, and you know, and it’s in the past.” “It is not in the past,” he said and sighed. “I fear I’ll never be able to… To…” “Sev, schh, it’s okay. You’re learning. Have you ever had a right to express yourself? Or even have feelings at all?” “No.” “So you’re a baby.” He sneered at that, almost recoiling. “If you think about it logically, you’re as able as a child to deal with your emotions and when children feel truly safe with someone they’ll act up, they’ll cry and scream and get pissed because they feel it’s safe to show their emotions and, eventually, with the help of safe adults they learn to communicate and deal with their emotions in a healthy and proper manner. Yes, you’re a grown man, but you’ve never had the chance to learn or become comfortable with your emotions.” “I’m comfortable with you.” “And I am with you, we can both show our emotions, and right now your emotions aren’t under control but that’s not your fault. You’ll learn, grow, and become able to handle it eventually.”

Severus simply stared at me. It felt like an eternity passed while his eyes seemed to dig themselves into mine. Eventually, he drew a long breath. “You are far too good.” “I’ll be anything you need me to be.” “I merely need you, just as you are. If you… if you are willing to be patient, with… me…” It sounded as if he had to push with all his might to say the word in a calm and collected manner, as if he felt a need to either spit them out or say nothing at all. It warmed my heart and I nodded gently, smiling up at him as I took his hands gently in my own. “I’ll always be patient with you,” I said and leaned up to kiss him. His thin lips pushed harshly against mine while he tugged me closer.

He backed me up, toward our bed, and gently laid me down without our lips ever leaving each other. “Severus?” I asked, my heart hammering too hard while my entire body tightened warmly under him. “If you don’t want this, say so now, love.” “I-, I do…” It feels like I’ve waited all my life for this moment. “But are you ready?” I asked in return, remembering all the times he’d recoiled at my soft touch or jolted at a sweet caress of his cheek. Loving touches, as I’d learned over the past months, wasn’t something he was used to or even knew how to deal with.

“I want to try,” he confessed after another kiss. “Okay,” I whispered and he kissed me again while his hands roughly caressed my sides. His kisses turned harsher and he bent my legs to fit himself between them. I simply moved with him, allowed him to lead the way while I avoided touching him, keeping my hands above my head even if all I wished to do was strip him and ravish him with all my love and adoration, thousands of kisses and hundreds of soft caresses — with all my warmth.

His hands travelled up my arms until one of them clamped around my wrists before the other tore open my blouse with a jerk. His breathing turned ragged, his hand clamped around my wrists harder while he undid my pants with his free hand — tugging at the buttons too harshly.

“S-Sev,” I whispered against his lips. All his motions halted. He looked down at me, his eyes darker than ever. “I won’t run away,” I whispered. “Even if you don’t hold me down, I won’t touch you unless you allow it,” I continued. “I-, I don’t know how to… How to do this…” His voice was a mere murmur, a deep droning of a confession barely audible. “I know. I understand. But I do… Let me show you?” I asked gently while holding his eyes with my own.

He hesitated, a fear of what was to come in those onyx eyes of his, while I laid utterly still despite the need to love him clawing at my skin with a burning desire. He nodded, a stiff motion, while he slowly released my hands.

I sat up and he backed off the bed, standing between my knees. I looked up at him, not making any quick moves but standing up while he took a step back and his fists clenched. “Will you let me lead?” I asked. He merely nodded. “No, Severus. I need you to say the words.” He looked bewildered for a second before his fists unclenched on a deep exhale. “You lead.” “Thank you.”

I gently reached out while he stood absolutely still. “I’m going to undress you. And then you will undress me, slowly.” He nodded at my words and I got to work with the buttons of his shirt, not letting my fingers tremble while he watched them work. I tugged the shirt off his shoulders without touching his skin, dragging the fabric down his arms while searching his eyes before it floated to the floor. I undid the belt of his pants, then the button and zipper before bending to tug them off as he wore no shoes.

He lifted each leg for me to remove the pants fully while simultaneously slipping my finger within the hem of his socks and taking them off at the same time. I heard him draw a shaky breath as I rose before him as he stood in just his boxers. He was such a beautiful sight in the candlelight and I couldn’t help but look him up and down while my cheeks heated, no matter how hard I tried to control my own emotions for his benefit.

“Now, you undress me in the same manner. But, you can touch me if you want to.” He nodded at my words and as he reached for my already open blouse I caught a glimpse of his unsteady fingers that seemed to be both stiff and trembling. But he managed to undress me in a somewhat slow fashion, even if he didn’t look at me while he did so. His eyes flickered all over the place as if he didn’t know where to look.

When he stood up we were only in our underwear. I was strangely relaxed while he seemed tense. So I stepped closer, my eyes seeking his, and allowed my hands to reach out. “I’ll touch you now,” I said and his eyes found mine. He looked terrified, but he didn’t move away as my hands reached his chest dusted with dark hair so soft to the touch I wanted to moan at just the sensation of him. “Touch me, Severus, feel my body. It belongs to you,” I said gently to encourage him to dare. “I-, I have never in-, in this manner,” he confessed. “Tell me how you’ve done it, share your experiences with me while we do this gently.” “Love… No,” he said, a darkness to his voice. “Tell me, and touch me.”

I allowed my hands to stroke down his arms, slip to his hips, and go up along his sides until I could spread my fingers over his chest — his heart pounded. Then his hands reached out for my hips. “It was rough,” he began while his uncertain fingers began exploring my body in a jaggedly jumpy fashion. “Never out of care or, want… A necessity, sometimes something done without my approval. Merely for the… mission …” “Never again, darling,” I whispered while my hands explored his back and my front went flush against his, forcing his hands to slip behind me as well.

I kissed his collarbone and allowed my lips to slant up along his throat until I met his jawline. “This will only ever happen if you want it,” I assured him and his fingers stiffened at my lower back while I felt his cock press against my pelvis. “I can’t talk about it,” he confessed. “Not like this,” he continued and I nodded before kissing his cheek. “That’s okay, Sev. Will you still allow me to lead and touch?” “Yes…” “Say stop and it all stops.”

I stepped back and took off my underwear before ridding him of his. As we stood face to face I searched his eyes, tried to read what few emotions he showed, I found none truly alarming so I continued to kiss and caress him before we ended up on the bed. He was stiff beneath me, but I kept kissing and caressing his upper body while snuggling myself between his legs.

“Love…” he murmured. “Yes, Sev?” “Are you-, do you truly wish for this?” “Yes. I want all of you, all you are willing to gift me.” “All?” “Yes, all . There is no part of you I don’t love. I want to be close to you, care for you, love you.” He seemed to soften beneath me at that. “I will try,” he said quietly while his hands finally began to caress my skin, travelling along my sides until his fingers reached my face and he pulled me closer before kissing me softly.

I moaned into his mouth and kissed him back with all I had while still keeping the pace slow and the touch gentle. His thumb caressed my cheek and the kiss ended. I began stroking his side, travelling from his ribs to his hips before lifting myself a bit to reach his cock. He exhaled deeply as my fingers wrapped around him and I began stroking him gently, each movement measured and controlled to be gentle and comforting.

“It-, it feels good,” he whispered as he laid back fully, relaxing and taking in my touch. “I’ll always make you feel good, Sev,” I said, my voice too low but I was desperate to keep my control when all I truly wished to do was ravish him and have him fill my aching cunt. But we both needed this, he needed this to be different and I wanted him to feel safe and adored with me — as he always should feel.

I worked him to the point of him moaning deeply beneath me, my hands touching and stroking, my lips slanting and kissing, my mouth whispering sweet words of adoration and care. The room turned too warm, his breaths came harder and his muscles tensed beneath me while my core turned slick and needy.

“Sev, I’m going to ride you,” I said, making sure he knew what was about to happen before I did anything, giving him the chance to stop me. But he didn’t, he merely looked at me with warm eyes of want even if a small sliver of worry still lingered within the onyx colour.

I climbed atop him, guiding his thick cock to my entrance while straddling him. He looked up at me, his hands landing on my thighs as I began to sink, allowing him to slip inside and fill me up deliciously slow. He groaned and threw his head back as I took him to the hilt. It felt too good. He felt too perfect within me.

His hands flexed, his fingers digging into my flesh, and I moaned his name while taking in the sensation of being with him. I had dreamt of that moment for so long, wondered what it would be like, what he’d feel like, how he’d react — never had I imagined I’d be the one leading. But with Severus, things were always different.

“Love,” he groaned as I began riding him slowly. “You feel so good, Sev,” I moaned as my cunt adjusted to his size. “Belinna,” he moaned. “I-, I can’t,” he continued with a strain to his dark rumble of a voice. “Want me to stop?” I asked while keeping on riding him in slow motions, steady rising and falling, using all of my power to not allow the frenzy building within me to take over. “No, no don’t stop,” he groaned as his fingers dug themselves into my flesh with a grip so tight I wondered if he’d leave marks on me from his desperate hold. “But I can’t, I can’t hold out,” he panted while I felt his entire body turn nearly solid beneath me.

I’d only barely begun, but I wouldn’t take away his pleasure or deny him a release he so obviously needed. “Then let go, darling,” I said while I upped the pace a tiny bit. “Just let go.” “ Belinna ,” he moaned in a near prayer as I splayed my hands out on his chest, leaning forward to find a new angle to take him. He jerked beneath me, his jaw clenched tightly while his hips bucked upwards, and I moaned as he came undone beneath me.

His cock jerked with me, warm waves coating my insides while I kept riding him steadily while my hands felt the hammering of his heart. “You’re so good, Sev,” I praised while he groaned deeply. “So good, darling,” I continued and he moaned a strange sound of relief and something darker. I slowed my pace until I stilled fully, not chasing my release.

I watched him, the pale skin with a slight tint to his cheeks and little beads of sweat across his forehead, and couldn’t help but be filled with a desperate need to comfort him. He looked strangely satisfied but confused, tense but relaxed at the same time.

“Sev, are you alright?” I asked while stroking away a few stray strands of his hair. He looked up at me, I was unable to understand what his eyes were filled with though. He just looked at me, his chest still rising and falling rapidly, while I felt him soften within me his hands released their grip on my flesh.

“I-, I don’t know,” he confessed. “That’s okay,” I said and leaned forward to kiss his hooked nose while he slipped out of me, a gushing of sticky cum flowing out of me. “We’re a mess, would you like to shower with me?” I asked with a smile even if my entire body was reeling with the need to come. He shook his head and I nodded before kissing his thin lips gently. “I’ll be right back, I don’t like cleaning up with magic.”

I handed him his wand after having stood and went to the bathroom on shaky legs. My insides pulsed and his cum streaked down my thighs. I locked the door and stepped into the shower, the warm water cascaded over me and I reached down to find the release I so desperately needed while his moans and groans filled my head from mere memory. His cum and my slick covered my fingers as I stroked myself into a trembling mess, taking support from the wall while biting down on my lip to not make a sound. I made quick work of it all, finding my release swiftly only to rush through cleaning myself.

I grabbed my robe from the hook on the wall and left the bathroom while cinching the sash around my waist. When I stepped into the bedroom Severus sat on the edge of the bed, dressed in a new shirt and his black silken pyjama pants. He was leaning his elbows on his knees, a hunch to his shoulders and a stiffness to his back.

I walked up, sinking down on my knees before him. “Sev? Are you alright?” I asked anew but he shook his head. “What’s wrong?” I continued while wrapping my hands around his where they were entwined before me. “Is that how it’s supposed to be?” he asked quietly. “What do you mean?” “Soft, caring… Warm …” My eyes widened as he looked up at me. “Sev… Darling… Yes, it’s supposed to be all those things. It’s supposed to feel only good.” My heart screamed at the torment and confusion in his eyes while he looked at me so intently that I felt as if he were trying to enter my soul.

“What do you need, darling?” I asked while squeezing his hands. “Need?” “Yes, what do you need from me?” “Nothing you haven’t already given too much of.” “Okay, what would make you feel safe and cared for right now?” I asked to change his view on the question I was asking. “I-, I don’t know.” “Cuddles?” I asked. “Or alone time? Food? Words of affirmation?” I kept going to try and jog his thoughts about it all. I knew what I wanted but what I needed was to comfort him in whatever manner he needed.

“I usually prefer some cuddles and snuggles after getting clean, and talking about what felt good and what didn’t,” I said to open up about my own wants to hopefully make him see it was okay to ask for something more, for what one needs. “There was nothing about that which did not feel good, love,” Severus murmured, his eyes cast down on our hands. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“Would you like me to stay or give you some time?” I asked after another moment. “Don’t leave,” he whispered. “Stay. Please…” The confusion and worry in his voice was heartbreaking but that he asked me to stay warmed me. “I’ll stay, for as long as you wish.” “Forever. I wish you to stay forever,” he said and I felt my eyes water at his honesty. “I love you, Severus.” “I love you too. And I am trying, I am truly trying, Belinna.” “I know,” I said and reached my hand up to caress his chilly cheek.

He leaned into my hand, a small smile across his lips. Such a difference to just a few weeks ago. “It may sound foolish,” he began quietly, “but I… I wished on a falling star for the bravery needed to be closer to you. It fell across the sky just as you left for your walk.” “I-, Sev, I wished on that star too,” I confessed and he blinked at me. “I wished for you to allow me to be close to you…” “Is that so?” “Yes…” “Star of wishes, perhaps we needn’t wish on stars in the future…” “Perhaps we can simply… talk with each other more?”

Severus reached up and cupped my face, smiling softly while I placed my hands on his chest. His heart beat steadily beneath my palms and warmth seemed to envelop the two of us among the garlands and candlelight. “I wish for nothing more than a future where we can speak openly,” he said gently and I felt as if I were melting on the inside. “Let’s make that future a reality, together.” “Together,” he echoed and kissed me deeply. My wish came true, and my hard work and patience were rewarded in the end. My own little Christmas miracle…

LINKTREE // AO3 // MASTERLIST

A/N: WAAAAAAAH!!!! Gosh, frikkin darn it, I love this so much and it's so sweet and they are so loving and caring and waaaaah..! I hope you enjoyed the end to this Rickmas2023 serial as well darlings! 🥰👏

+A/N: I am so so so sorry I haven't had the chance to reply to comments/reblogs yet - I am itching to do it and I will get to it as soon as I have a chance to and life isn't going crazy (I love and adore that you comment and reblog darling! I really do!) ❤

Q: Do you feel ready for 2024? A: I am so so so ready for 2023 to be over, it's been the most insane year and I can't quite wrap my head around it now that we're on the home stretch - how did I manage all I managed this year?

TAGLIST: @lizlil @snapefiction @darkthought15 @monstreviolet @flowerdementia @marvelschriss @once-upon-an-imagine @ravennight41 @caseydoodles98 @slytherinprincess03 @theconsultingdetectiveswife @grimmyhild @monster-energies @myobscureimaginarium @snowblossomreads @eternal-silvertongued-prince @cherryglossie @setsuna-meiou31 @helena211 @a-queen-and-her-throne @justsaturn0 @turvi @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky @sunnylikesfrogs @mamawolfsmith16 @dianilaws @sassanoe @snapesrn @bernadette-peters12 @sammy-13 @smartowl999 @castleofthorns @serenanight87 @leah1243

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[Dec:2023]

[taevisionceo]

Christmas Season … Good Morning ☕️ Have y'all a beautiful and blessed Saturday

Winter is a season of recovery and preparation. ~ Paul Theroux 👍💫💯

[thelifeoflorna]

~26/12/2021~ This ^^ is A's dog Cruz - he's a #romanianrescuedog and we went for a walk with him on Christmas Eve to help cheer us up - always think he has such kind eyes 🧡 Today started in much the same way as yesterday - except I watched Call The Midwife Christmas Special - which made me feel slightly sad as it was a case of doing something actually christmassy. Played some Sims, which always provides some good escapism. As the day went on, Boxing Day was feeling a lot harder than yesterday 🥺 - I felt quite trapped here as the buses weren't running, limited train service, so had no choice but to stay local. I went out to get some lunch from KFC and pick up a smoothie from the shops, and it was so super gloomy - started getting flashbacks of a trauma related to my mum separating from my day on Boxing Day when I was 8 - the loneliness of today felt particularly triggering 😰 Once I recognised this and attempted to settle my system, the day started to improve a little. I went out to Costa for a couple of hours to focus on some uni work, carried on when I got home, and then organised all my folders - it provided a really helpful distraction! 👍 🦄 #instadaily #instablog #update #mentalhealth #dissociativeidentitydisorder #cptsd #autism #traumarecovery #edrecovery #anxiety #chronicillness #disability #pots #potsie #dysautonomia #positivevibes #recovery #winter #december #boxingday #pettherapy #walking #walkinthewoods #mansbestfriend #nature #depression #gloom (at Ashenground Wood) https://www.instagram.com/p/CX9k40TK68Cf30YKfIF3JPMEAZcCmGJKZpPiz00/?utm_medium=tumblr

[fogsrollingin]

what are your favorite wincest noncon fics?

hmmm great question!

Noncon isn’t a tag I seek out but every once in awhile I come across it in a ‘that was rapey but I can handle it’ way. Also, I have lots of rape/trauma recovery recs, but ‘wincest noncon’ suggest you’re looking for a lack of consent between Dean/Sam so I’m gonna go that direction 👍 ✧ My fic recs are updated regularly on DW and quarterly on Tumblr. Link to the possibly updated reclist on DW here ✧ My entire catalogue of fic recs on tumblr here ✧ This post was last updated 1/21/2022 ✧ For epubs of rec’d fanfic from LJ or DW, click to this post.

leonidaslion’s Bright Lights of Disturbia (AO3). Rated NC-17, Dean/Sam, 373k words. Summary:  Not all of our scars are worn on the outside… ao3.org/works/181007 my thoughts: an epic & full of Dean whump which, oddly, also isn’t my preference, but despite it all I couldn’t put this story down... and its HEA ending had me reccing it in my favorite winter holidays fics, hah

Iron Ridge Pack ‘Verse by meus_venator. Rated NC-17, unrelated Sam/Dean, 193k. Summary: Federal Marshal Jensen Ackles of the Hunter Division was the best tracker the department had on the west coast. Having watched his entire family be slaughtered by a wolf pack as a child, Jensen dedicated himself to becoming a hunter. Under his watch no one would ever suffer as he had, and renegade werewolves would be brought to justice and shipped back to the rez where they belonged. When a call came in about a were sighting in the sleepy town of Munter’s Gorge, Montana, Jensen thought he’d be home in no time. Then he met Jared at the local coffee shop and the case suddenly became a whole lot more complicated. ao3.org/series/248002 my thoughts: Fucked up A/B/O in all its glory. I absolutely love it with zero shame - really, how can you wander about fandom with shame? Fanfiction is pure id and the journey into meus_venator’s on-point id game is always a rabbit hole of addictive depravity with wholesome love & tenderness that somehow bubbles out of it all. Her works (especially this one) hook and drag me in to bed as early as 8PM and doesn’t let me sleep until like 3. This fic is also in my animal transformations reclist.

Dragon Spell by virtualpersonal and brimstonegold (LJ). Rated NC-17, Sam/Dean, 112k. Summary:  Crossover with Anne McCaffrey’s Dragonriders of Pern. Snooping around in his father's storage locker, Sam touches something he shouldn't and gets sucked into a world where dragonriders must protect their world from a continuous threat of threadfall. Dean follows and finds Sam has lost his memories. Until they get out of this mess, they have to ‘make like the natives.’ virtualpersonal.livejournal.com/206751.html my thoughts: This story was my gateway fic to dragon AUs and it's been ah👏ma👏zing👏 reading and exploring this one and all the others! While it’s a crossover with Anne McCaffrey’s Pern universe, I had no idea and rolled with it anyway, so you definitely don’t need to have read the McCaffrey’s series to understand this story (but it’s a great in that it gives you the gist of what other Pern x SPN fics incorporate in their crossovers as well). Love the amnesia trope deftly used here to kinda excuse/explain how the wincest unfolds

Amidst the Chaos by AnOddSock. NC-17, Dean/Sam, 18k words. Summary: The apocalypse began and Dean’s world shattered. The rest of the world wasn’t too far behind. Years later, after fighting and planning and hoping, there’s finally a chance to get through to Sam — to give him the opportunity to come kicking and screaming back to the surface and wrest control away from Lucifer. Dean doesn’t want to hurt Sam, but he’ll do whatever it takes. He just needs to find a way to connect, a way in. And he always was better with his hands, and his touch, than he was with words. ao3.org/works/20580200 my thoughts: I’ve never read a story that makes sexual climax as close to the same thing as the story’s plot climax, lol. Fucking brilliant! I mean this got so graphic and brutal but it had explicit, deeply important reasons behind why it needed to be expounded upon. I totally loved this fic for that. It had me both riveted and a little turned on the whole way through.

Rattling Your Locks by cherie_morte (LJ). Rated NC-17, Jensen/Jared. 50k. Summary:  AU: Born into slavery, Jared has been trained and used as a pleasure slave ever since he was a teenager. Rare and coveted because of his Alpha status, Jared has always sold to the richest and often cruelest of masters. His new master, the young but ruthless CEO of TradeMark Entertainment, Jensen Ackles, seems no different. At least, not until Jared stops to wonder what a consummate Alpha male like Ackles would want with another Alpha as his pleasure slave. Things only get more confusing when Jared arrives at his new master’s home and finds that there are no other slaves. He soon learns that Ackles freed all of his father’s slaves when he inherited them and has been a vocal supporter and patron of anti-slavery groups since. Jared doesn’t know how to reconcile this knowledge with his master’s outward coldness, but the more he learns about Ackles, the less he seems to fit into the assumptions that Jared has made about him. infatuated-ink.livejournal.com/73226.html my thoughts: Normally I don’t go for alpha!Jared but this was an amaaaazing story. The development Jensen and Jared’s characters, the progress they made with each other, was terrific. A few times the events in the story had me take pause but at the end of the day I really liked how sketchy and gray and conflicted everybody was when it came to that reconciliation aspect mentioned in her summary. Just a really fantastic and wonderfully long read! This fic is in my slave reclist.

Fortress series by glasslogic (AO3). Rated NC-17, Sam/Dean, 225k words. Summary: Seven years ago Dean Winchester paid his due to the Crossroads Demon and fell into Hell. Grief almost killed Sam, a demon blood addiction came closer, but he rid himself of demonic attachments and spent years building himself a prison where no demon can set foot, determined to take himself out of the apocalyptic game that had crushed his family. But each year on Earth is an eternity in Hell, and now Dean is back. Angry, powerful, and demonic; he has a plan to wreck vengeance on those who destroyed his life. A plan that will shake the foundations of the Pit and send shock-waves into Heaven. Dragging a reluctant Sam in his wake, will Dean manage to pull it off before the combined legions of Hell get their act together enough to stop him ao3.org/series/20086 my thoughts: A super well-written, dark version of Demon!Dean where his ‘evil’ nature and his ‘good’ goals (and kind of amoral adoration of Sam) are balanced. It was satisfying to read Demon!Dean saving Sam from Ruby but warning there’s a lot of rape-or-die to that whole thing. Not a lot of tender shmoop but I really enjoyed this story. Quality, edge-of-your-seat plot progression (using seasons 4 & 5 as a basic road map)

thank you so much for the question, anon! 🤗💛

[transfagholmes]

[ID: a tweet by Piers Morgan "If we're going to start burning things - which we shouldn't - I'd rather start with your entire musical back catalogue. fyi." in response to a tweet by JEDWARD @planetjedward "Does anyone need firewood this winter! JK's new book is perfect to burn next to a Romantic fire 🔥 Aww get all cozy and comfy can't wait 😊"

Jedward replies "It's a joke Piers, you know like you're life. lol.

Supporting a book about a serial killer man who dresses as a woman to kill his victims that's being released when trans people are actually being targeted and killed isn't a good look, even for you.."

Piers Morgan tweets "You haven't read the book have you... so you called for it to be burned without even reading it. Ridiculous." in response to Jedward tweeting "Piers thank you for YOUR English lesson A+ for Grammar but you get a D for being a Dick 👍 Happy to hear you have our entire music back catalogue!"

Jedward replies "Piers! What's ridiculous is you fighting JK Rowling's battles when she needs to reevaluate her actions and be aware of the consequences and damage her fictional book is inflicting on the transgender community!"

Piers Morgan replies "I dont even like JK Rowling. I just find you clowns demanding her book be burned when you haven't even read it pathetic."

Jedward replies "You've been kissing Donald Trump's ass for years, now that's pathetic! You look like the clown 🤡 you don't even like JK Rowling and here you are attention seeking!!"

Jedward: "You can say it's a coincidence @jk_rowling but from your history and your actions 🤦 we all want a divorce hun! Twitter is serving your papers byeeeee 👋"

Jedward: "Conversion therapy needs to be banned in the U.K. and Worldwide now! It's fucked up that we live in a world where this is still happening!"

Jedward: "JK Rowling's pseudonym name Robert Galbraith is also the name of an eveil conversion therapist! this is unacceptable and needs to change! maybe have a google search next time hun 👍 @jk_rowling"

Jedward: "We couldn't be more proud of our fans! Over the years seeing the growth and development finding who they are and becoming their true authentic selves! We LOVE you

#TransRightsAreHumanRights"

Jedward: "#TransRightsAreHumanRights

Understanding is the first step to acceptance @jk_rowling and only with acceptance can their be recovery

It matters not what someone was born, but what they grow to be!

Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving!"

Jedward: "Do you remember when we used to sing Van Maskison - Sha la la la ma ma ma te da Just wear a mask

Sha la la la ma ma ma te da, la te da my masked brown eyed girl

@vanmorrison"

Jedward: "We're releasing a new album called OWNED by Jedward! Hit singles:

Wear a Mask ft. Noel Gallagher

Why don't you Runaway ft. Jim Corr

Cheekbones ft. Ian Brown

D for Dick ft. Piers Morgan

Transphobic ft. JK Rowling

Masked Brown Eyed Girl ft. Van Morrison"

/ end ID]

i did not expect to become a jedward stan in 2020 but I guess it’s not the only curveball this year’s thrown