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solar-wing · 9 months ago

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⚣ ATLA/LOK: The Four Nations & Homosexuality ☀️

I'm planning to write for my favorite characters from the Avatar universe again. Any OGs from my first account know I started posting content about ATLA and LOK, specifically Bolin and Mako, WAAAY before I started posting DC and Marvel content among others.

So I wanted to talk about something I found really interesting about homosexuality within the four nations and their attitudes towards it regarding acceptance and whether they embraced or turned away from it. And since we are soon getting a new Earth Avatar series, we might as well start with the Earth Kingdom.

EARTH KINGDOM

First, let's consider the element of the nation itself and what it symbolizes.

Earth is not just the element of strength, but also the element of endurance and rigidity. In simple terms, it's a tough and stubborn element.

Also, Earth is a hybrid element, meaning it can be used in defensive and offensive manners easily.

Concerning its nation, it can be shown how citizens of the Earth Kingdom would more than likely be very conservative and adverse to any change or diverting from societal standards in the norm.

They're stubborn and stuck in their ways, so they may not react the most positively to displays of affection between same-sex couples. But, it can work in both ways.

As mentioned, Earth-benders and citizens, in general, tend to be very stuck in their beliefs, meaning if one were to have a more liberal position on the matter of social and romantic relationships, they would be just as defensive and stubborn in that belief as someone more conservative and traditional.

This goes back to my saying that Earth itself is a hybrid element. A mix of defensive and offensive tactics. Just as much as people way attempt to push their beliefs onto others, they're just as quick to defend their beliefs and ideals.

I'd also argue region/location within the Earth Kingdom is a major factor. If we're talking places like small villages or cities like Omashu in the animated version, you may be met with pushback and intolerance. But, places like Kyoshi Island where its founder was a lesbian so likely had very liberal beliefs concerning such topics. Also Omashu from the live-action since that version portrays Oma & Shu as a lesbian couple, and even Ba Sing Se since big cities are proven to attract a more liberal-leaning population.

But, interestingly enough, in the comics, it's stated that the Earth Kingdom is the slowest to accept change, and their default is still heterosexuality. Obviously, this comes from the rigidness and stubbornness of the Earth element itself. So even if Ba Sing Se has a more 'liberal' or rather "diverse" crowd, doesn't mean that crowd is automatically open to homosexuality. Ideally, the only known place in the Earth Kingdom where you could experience the most acceptance and grace from others would be Kyoshi Island

In summary, on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most accepting & embracing of homosexual relationships and 1 being the opposite, I originally was going to give the Earth Kingdom a 5, but remembering how it's stated in the comics that they are the slowest to accept change which checks out, they got bumped down to a 2.

It is a very big nation and thus has the potential to plant different seeds of belief and opinion, however, it's clear in the show how rigid and otherwise, unshakeable denizens of the Earth Kingdom can be. They have their beliefs, and they strongly stick to them.

Even with someone like Avatar Kyoshi who had to go and make a whole separate Island where she and her people could live in peace and prosperity without certain influences affecting them, they still have yet to come around to the idea that other people live with different interests and beliefs, and that there is truly no 'default' for even one person.

Acceptance Rating: 2/10

FIRE NATION

Starting with a focus on the element itself again, fire is the element of power, as described by Iroh. It can burn things in its path, but can also give life. In simple terms, it's an element of strong will and desire to expand and consume, literally and metaphorically.

Fire is also mainly an offensive element, with the capability of modifying certain offensive moves into defensive ones.

Its nation's citizens and benders heavily share these traits with their element. They tend to be willful and proud, and while that doesn't necessarily equal being close-minded, pride can very well lead to stubbornness.

This is evidenced strongly by the political government of the Fire Nation, with its monarchy power having complete and total influence and control over its citizen's lifestyles and choices. If one Fire Lord feels strongly about something and makes it into law, another Fire Lord can come two generations later and reverse and change it.

This is shown in the nation's history, where homosexuality was actually tolerated (I hate using that word) in the Fire Nation for a long time before Fire Daddy, ahem, I mean Fire Lord Sozin's rule. It was during his reign as Fire Lord that Sozin outlawed same-sex relationships and marriages among the Fire Nation and its citizens.

Some speculate it was due to the clear pressure he faced being the sole heir to the throne since his sister was born a non-bender, something that was frowned upon in the royal family. A potential heir to the Fire throne had to be a firebender, with no exceptions. Therefore, Princess Zeisan was allowed more freedom and control in her life than he was, as evidenced by her embracing Air Nomad culture and being confirmed as a lesbian.

It was common knowledge that Sozin and Zeisan had a very antagonistic and tense relationship with each other, despite them being siblings. They were pitted against each other from a young age which caused a rivalry between them. So, it's completely possible to speculate that Sozin implemented the law to spite his sister who fell in love with Sister Rioshon, an Air Nun.

it's also completely possible to theorize that Sozin harbored homosexual tendencies and feelings himself, especially towards his best friend, Roku we all know was the Fire Avatar before Aang. Again, his being a royal prince and next in line for the throne threw a wrench in this since Sozin was expected to marry a woman and produce an heir. So his potential feelings for his best friend could never be explored due to his duties and responsibilities to his nation.

So since Sozin couldn't have what or who he truly wanted, no one could, and thus, same-sex love and marriage were banned. And that didn't change no matter where you went in the nation unlike the Earth Kingdom where you could go from village to village and city to city and the rules would be completely different depending on where you were.

Again, fire is the element of power and will. And if it was the will of the Fire Lord to ban same-sex relationships in the nation entirely, then everyone had to fall in line. Meaning the door was opened for more conservative and traditionalist views to be voiced in opposition to same-sex relationships.

While some may have had differing beliefs and ideals, they more than likely had to keep it to themselves, especially among the nobility. This can lead to harboring feelings of anger and resentment, rather than love and acceptance, causing people to react harshly to any displays of such affection and behavior, just like Sozin.

As I said, fire as an element itself is primarily offensive in nature. Reflecting on its people, and especially its governing body, this is clearly shown by the notion that one person's opinion and belief can be pushed onto everyone around him if he or she so decrees it.

With that, the Fire Nation gets a 3/10 on the scale. Again, in the past, they were at minimum tolerant of it. which is not much if we're being honest. Tolerant actually is kind of insulting. But, after Sozin's rule, that tolerance more than likely dwindled and hasn't improved much following his reign as far as we know.

I'd like to think that Zuko as the Fire Lord, having seen much of the world and all its different dimensions and lifestyles people have lived, he'd at some point in his reign reverse the ruling, but that's a far-fetched hope knowing these writers and creators (no shade...mostly).

Acceptance Rating: 3/10

AIR NOMADS

Air is the element of freedom. It's flexible and lacks restriction, moving in any direction it desires. And because of its lack of constraint, it becomes easily adaptable in any scenario, whether it's evasion, offense, defense, etc.

However, the element of air is primarily and almost purely used as a defensive and evasive practice among its population, due to its nation as a whole choosing to live as pacifists. But, do not be misled. As mentioned, air as an element can be just as powerful offensively as it is defense-wise.

Just as their element, the benders of the Air Temples were very open and flexible people. As monks and nomads, they chose to forego many earthly and physical connections, seeking spiritual enlightenment. Because of this, there were never any non-benders in the Air Nomads.

Any child born from an Airbender was an Airbender themselves. Also, due to their style of life and spirituality, they were very adaptive to any situation they were placed in, making them very open to any and all change around them.

While they lived by the teachings of the monks and masters of the Air Nomads, they lived freely and openly, just like their element. The most restriction they had was as children or masters/monks that lived at the temples, males and females were not allowed to live together in the same space.

I'm not sure if this applies to temples as a whole as I've seen conflicting information. Some say the rule applies to temples as a whole, which would mean the Northern and Southern Temples were only inhabited by male Airbenders, and the respecting Eastern and Western temples were inhabited by female Airbenders.

But, I do remember a specific scene from Avatar, during the 2nd season when Appa was lost, and he had a memory of when he was a baby bison, and he and Aang met for the first time. I remember the monk facilitating this was a female Airbender, so that's why I'm not exactly sure what is concrete.

But, it does make sense as in many of Aang's flashbacks to his time at the Southern Air Temple, we mainly only ever saw male Airbenders. Thus, many have speculated that this specific rule would inadvertently encourage exploration and curiosity for these young Airbenders regarding their sexuality as they matured and eventually left the temples as adults and master Airbenders.

Also, on this, no child from the Air Temples was raised by their parents. They were only raised by the monks, enforcing that common belief and practice they all had. While they of course had their own identities, they were all taught the same thing from an early age, if an Adult Airbender met and had a child with someone from a different nation, that child likely being an Airbender would be sent to the Air temples to be raised by the monks.

All that to say, Airbenders would be the exact opposite of conservative. They technically wouldn't even be liberal since, again, they detach themselves from earthly limitations in favor of a higher spirituality.

So, since they don't subscribe to earthly practices or beliefs, they would be the most accepting nation of homosexuality and same-sex relationships. It's not in their nature or belief to judge others either so they wouldn't show any hostility or intolerance to LGBTQ+ people and relationships.

Just like their element, they practice freedom and adaptability to the world around them. And just as air is primarily used in defensive manners, they still will defend their beliefs and practices, they just avoid direct confrontation, preferring evasive maneuvers.

Just a quick note, the Air Nomads are what I like to think of as the example of how this world should have been. I read another column that detailed how the creators of the show ultimately created institutionalized homophobia because they couldn't imagine a world without it, and that's in large part due to the heavy influence of Western, colonial, Christian, and to be quite frank, European imperialism on the show's writing.

It's a fact that's becoming increasingly more well-known. Before European and Christian colonization/imperialism, many cultures and communities were not just accepting of same-sex relationships and LGBTQ+ identities, they embraced it! While there were definitely pedophilic relationships that were wrong and grotesque no matter what time period it was, same-sex relationships were just as normal as opposite-sex ones. There was no "default."

So in simple terms, the Air Nomads accept and embrace everyone, no matter who they are or how they live. As long as they don’t wrong and harm others, and even then, they see everyone as equal and deserving of respect and love. And that's what our society should be based on. Of course, they were killed off in an entire genocide, which, say what you will and think what you think, but the one culture that accepts and loves everyone as they are being killed off...ironic, don't ya think?

Acceptance Rating: 10/10

WATER TRIBES

Finally, water is the element of change. Like air, it adapts to its circumstances, but more fluidly and gracefully. Yet, unlike air, it relies on the flow of energy, turning its defense into an offense and back. In whatever scenario that sees fit, a Waterbender can change their liquid offense into a solid defense, or turn a solid offense into a gas defense.

This clearly makes the water an element suitable for either an offensive or defensive strategy. Its unique ability to change its form to fit its circumstances gives its user an extreme advantage in combat or any other risky scenario.

Now, even with this in mind, ironically enough, the people of the Water Tribe are not the most in sync with their element as far as when it comes to living standards.

While yes, in combat, they adapt and adjust accordingly to their needs and goals in the fight, in regular practice, they're more conservative and less open to change than you would initially believe.

Also, as confirmed in the LOK comics, while the Water Tribes are not openly homophobic, they are still lacking in accepting and embracing the concept that there is not one rule that applies to all when it comes to who they love. Which, when you think about it, checks out.

The Northern Tribe operated heavily off a patriarchal society as we saw in the first season, and it took Paku nearly getting his ass whooped by a teenage girl who was the grand-daughter of the woman he loved but refused to wed since it was arranged for them to start to change their ways. Even if the Southern Tribe was a bit ahead of their Northern counterpart in this sense, they still suffered from the restricting roles they placed on themselves concerning gender.

Giving props to Fire Nation and Air Nomads, they never had restrictive rules on who could fight in battle, even if the Nomads as mentioned tended to avoid conflict. However, the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes both practiced and thus, were limited by their rules that men were only allowed to serve in the army and in the guard.

Of course, we've already discussed the Earth Kingdom is the slowest to accept change, but for the Water Tribes, this is a bit unnatural, and if this is how they act regarding gender, it says a lot about how they would react when it comes to same-sex relationships.

So, it's understandable why Kya advises Korra and Asami to keep their relationship to themselves. But, I personally don't believe they should. Creating change means people are going to be uncomfortable. Oh well, boo-hoo, they'll get over it.

But, this does at least check out with the hybrid offense/defense nature of water bending. People of the Water Tribe will stand their ground and defend what they choose to believe in and love. And while they may not openly go out of their way to push their beliefs onto others like those in the Fire Nation, it doesn't mean they don't still have ways have doing so. Like water, I imagine their approach to such a subject can vary.

With that, Water Tribes get a 2.5/10. They're ahead of the Earth Kingdom in the sense that they've realized excluding women from fighting hurts them more than it helps them. Also, it's highly plausible that if a woman can learn how to fight, a man can learn how to heal, but I digress. However, they're still lower than the Fire Nation since this is less of a government-forced ideology and more of a societal norm they place on themselves.

Acceptance Rating: 2.5/10

I like doing analysis like this. If anyone thinks of other topics to discuss and do a deep dive into, send it in my asks!

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rurikredwolf · 2 years ago

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The Worry List: Wings of fire fanfiction

Last year, wrote a fanfic because Qibli’s arc was unconcluded imo. May as well post it here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35088850

Qibli and Moon have one last conversation before flying to Pantala. Set during the last chapters of The Dangerous Gift

(Posting below tag for those who wanna read it here)

Qibli was both nervous and optimistic. Cautious, yet roaring to go. Such a contradiction in his mind seemed to be the norm at this point. Ever since Darkstalker, he felt like he was on the verge of something. But he never figured out what it was.

It'd been some time since then. It felt like months, and honestly, he couldn't tell anymore. The days flew by, and he was still awash in their tide. At this point, it was better to just live day by day instead of worrying about the future. But that thought process made him even more anxious.

Not that anyone can tell.

The past while was great. No more deadly dragons of nightmares, no prophecies. He'd returned to Queen Thorn's palace and helped. It wasn't the most glamorous way to end his stand off with an ancient and powerful dragon, but he was satisfied. A quiet, uneventful life to return to.

Fate, however, showed up in the form of a beautiful Nightwing named Moonwatcher – or Moon as she preferred - and tore the 'epilogue' down.

"Are you okay?" she asked in that familiar, concerned voice of hers.

Qibli turned his black eyes to her, not realizing that his wings had been fidgeting. Something that had started after his encounter with Darkstalker. Whenever he was stressed, his wingclaws would start shuffling. He couldn't let anyone see his anxiety, especially now.

And yet all Moon had to do was look at her with those big green orbs of hers and he fell apart inside. The instant their eyes met, he couldn't lie to her.

It's why he avoided them so much these days.

"No," Qibli didn't bother lying. Ever since Moon showed up to see him, he promised himself he'd never lie to her. A good boyfriend wouldn't do that.

Well, maybe a white lie or two. Everyone lies, after all. But not anything serious like this.

"I could tell," Moon reached out one of her black wings and touched his with them. The membrane was like a starry sky, and he could get lost in it forever.

"What's wrong?" she asked gently, forcing him to stop.

They had decided to take a small walk around Sanctuary. They should be sleeping, as they had a long flight tomorrow. But Qibli was so restless that he decided to explore this place a little bit, and he'd run into Moon doing so. It was as if she knew he was out and about, too.

She couldn't read his mind, as he still donned the Skyfire. The black rock was attached to an armband, and that was the one thing stopping the psychic Nightwing from reading him like one of her many books. Even still, she was acutely attuned to everyone around her.

"I mean, where to start on this one?" Qibli rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Let's see, we have a bunch of dragons from another continent sharing a roof with us," he held up a talon as if counting, then raised another. "Secondly, giant evil plant. That's never good. And no army to bail us out." Another talon was raised. "Oh, and we just got done with an ancient and powerful evil. That we were thrown into a collision path with right after Scarlet. Which came from an unending war."

Moon winced at his words. He was playing it off as sarcastic and jovial, but his eyes must've looked dead, as she never broke eye contact.

"I suppose when you lay it out like that, it's hard not to lose your mind," Moon laughed nervously. "It does kind of feel like a never-ending cascade of events that just keeps tumbling down, tumbling down, and tumbling down again."

"And every time we breathe a sigh of relief, something happens." Qibli finished her thoughts. He picked up a nearby rock, settling near the river flowing down Sanctuary. Across from them, he saw Silkwings bustling amongst themselves, speaking to the few Leafwings that joined them.

SIlkwings were, admittedly, beautiful. From their iridescent scales to their four wings that resembled moths or dragonflies. Their twitching antennae that swished and swayed with every change in the air. That wasn't even getting to their silk, which strongly resembled a spider. Except it wasn't coming from a horrifying nightmare of legs and eyes.

That wasn't even getting to the Leafwings. They were more like the dragons Qibli knew, but even they had something foreign. Was it their horns that resembled branches? Leafy wings? The fact that they could talk to plants!? Or was it simply their green scales, as that wasn't quite common either.

Honestly, it was anyone's guess.

Qibli couldn't help but stare. Not only were dragons from another world real, but they were here. Right in front of them. And needed their help. And Qibli, without a second thought, rushed in to help them. Because that was what he did.

And yet, I feel like it's just not good enough.

Qibli was very grateful that he wore the Skyfire, as if Moon had heard that intrusive thought, she wouldn't never let it go.

"I do have to question why we're going, though," Moon said, watching the Silkwings and Leafwings work together. Both wanted to help, but it was better not to. They knew what they were doing, and they didn't need to accidentally get jabbed by Qibli's scorpion tail or something.

"What do you mean? They need us," Qibli's yellow scaled face frowned.

"No, I know," Moon's green and black face was contemplative. Her brows were constantly furrowed, as if having the biggest of headaches, but Qibli learned to read beyond that.

"Then, what?"

"Why are we, dragonets, going when there are trained warriors that could?"

Qibli burst out laughing before he could stop himself. A few dragons looked their way, and it was all he could do to hide his face behind his yellow wings.

"What?" Moon looked at him, mouth open slightly. "It's a legitimate question!"

"I know it is, and honestly, I never thought about it until you mentioned it," Qibli said between snickers. "Although, I have a guess."

"Do tell."

"Because the adults realized that they could have dragonets do everything while they can sit back," Qibli grinned widely.

That got a laugh out of Moon.

"Okay, that's probably true," she giggled. Just the sound of her giggling was enough for Qibli's worries to subside. "If I ever have any dragonets, you better believe I'm passing down that logic."

"Same. I'll be resting in the sun, having dragons fan me, and then pass off important duties to the three-year-old. Did wonders for me."

"Did it?" Moon questioned, and Qibli froze.

He never told her about his past. And he never was going to for a long time.

Yet it just slipped out.

"Oh, yes. It's how I got to be the handsome dragon you see before you," he placed a claw over his breast, wings splayed, head turned to a powerful pose. "I even have a nice scar to sell the look!" he ran a talon across the long, jagged scar across his face.

Despite the whole bravado act, Moon didn't buy a single word. She looked at him with a small frown, seeing right through him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked quietly.

"Nothing to say," Qibli shrugged. "Mom was abusive, and Queen Thorn – who I love, mind you – kinda… threw me into the war. That's the long and short of it."

"And yet it still bothers you. I can see it in your eyes," she scooted a bit closer. "Ever since you went on that adventure with Winter, you changed."

"Oh, speaking of Winter, did I tell you that Kinkajou visited Winter here?" Qibli changed the subject. "And she kept coming back, each time looking a bit happier?"

Moon, who's frown had deepened at Qibli's change of topic, now looked at him with a blank expression.

"No," she whispered.

"I know, I said the same thing. And yet…"

"No!" Moon stood up, shaking herself. Again, some of the other dragons looked over. "No way. I refuse to believe it!" Then, she paused. "Wait… I remember reading her mind back when we met. And how she admired his scales… no, no way! That couldn't…."

"Yet, she came all this way – on her own – to meet Mister Grump," Qibli smiled wickedly. "What does that tell you?"

"Yes, but… Kinkajou!"

"I know."

"Winter!"

"His real name is Prince Grumpington."

"Kinkajou!? Winter!?" Moon cupped her palms over her mouth, realizing she was shouting. She settled back down, scales scarlet. "You… you're not pulling my tail, are you?"

"I promised myself I'd never lie to you," Qibli chuckled. "But I understand how difficult it is to believe because I sure didn't at first. Of course, I could be a hundred percent wrong, but…"

The two dragons in question couldn't be any different. Kinkajou was an energetic, feisty little Rainwing that always spoke her mind. Nothing about her was proper or royal or whatever Winter would find remotely appealing.

Winter was legitimately the exact opposite of Kinkajou. A banished prince with a broody face – oh, suddenly things made a little bit more sense, now that Qibli thought about – that couldn't tell a joke to save his life. The Icewing took everything at face value and more than once attempted to kill Qibli. At least, threatened to.

And yet, Qibli never had a closer friend than that sourpuss of a dragon. Glancing to Moon, who was still processing the new information, it was obvious that Winter wanted her. Heck, Qibli was about to let him win. And yet, the light that showed up in Moon's eyes whenever she looked at him…

… Qibli saw the same when Winter looked at him. Oh, it was tiny. Barely noticeable. But ever since he got together with Moon, he recognized the look and remembered.

Suddenly, him making a joke to his mother about the two of them getting married didn't seem as out of left field as it was at the time.

Perhaps if Moon wasn't around, the two of them… well, no point in thinking about 'what ifs'.

"Do you know how?" Moon whispered.

"Kinkajou mentioned the two of them bonding over scav-err, humans. I guess that did it."

If there was one thing that could top the revelation of the two most unlikely dragons, it was the fact that scavengers were called humans. And they were intelligent beings. If Wren was a good example of them, they were dragon-like in intelligence. Qibli didn't think he ever ate a scavenger, but a lot of his memory was scattered in his first three years of life.

"Humans," Moon said. "This past week has been one thing after the other. Pantalan dragons, sentient plants, Winter and Kinkajou, humans…"

"Honestly, I stopped being surprised right around the time Darkstalker showed up," Qibli shrugged.

The massive Nightwing that burst out of Jade Mountain and nearly committed genocide against the Icewings was the tipping point for Qibli. Internally, he threw up his wings and walked away from the world making any form of sense.

Big, scary dragon the size of a boulder? Sure. Humans talking? Why not? Dragons from another land? Yeah, sure, add that to the list.

But just as Moon winced at the name of Darkstalker, so did Qibli in his mind. He vividly remembered the last conversation he had with Darkstalker. How close he was to falling to his temptations. How sincere and genuinely lonely the massive, immortal Nightwing had felt. Had he not been a brutal monster with the heart of a sociopath, Qibli probably would've stood right alongside him.

Their goals were similar; make the world a better place. But the price was not worth it. Darkstalker didn't see it, and that was his end.

And now he was this adorable little dragonet called Peacemaker. Qibli still kept his eye on the dragonet, but even he had to admit that the Rainwing/Nightwing hybrid was endearing. Still, something in the back of his mind said that there was always a chance of a return.

And if Qibli truly did break magic…

"And there it is again," Moon pulled him back to reality. He snapped his head to her, seeing her worried smile. "I hope you realize that I haven't forgotten what I said before my own sense of reality was warped."

"What did you say again?" Qibli pretended to clean his ear.

"That you changed. You seem lighter. Happier. But there's still a weight holding you down. And I understand if you don't want to tell me what it is, but I want you to know that I am willing to listen to anything you have to say."

"Honestly, there's nothing to-"

"Stop. It." Moon gave him a fierce look unlike anything she ever did before. It was like he was staring at another dragon. A faint snarl, a commanding presence. She certainly didn't get it from her mother. Her father? Qibli had no idea who that was, but it was the explanation.

"If you don't want to talk about it, that's okay," she continued. "I understand. There are things I don't talk about either. But you were about to lie to me right after saying you would never do so. If you don't want to discuss it, just tell me. But do not lie to me!"

Qibli stared. Moon never got angry. And right now, she looked like she was ready to cry. He read her face like a book, and saw she was angry at herself for snapping.

But… she was right. He was already about to break that promise.

"I can't tell you," Qibli admitted quietly. "I buried that deep down. And you're right, my little adventure with Winter solved a lot of problems. I got closure to things. But I am still having difficulty uh… processing it all."

"I understand," Moon held his claw in hers. The touch was enough to make his heart leap in his throat. For some reason, tears threatened.

"But I can show you," Qibli stood up. "Not here. Let's find somewhere quiet."

Moon shot him a questioning look but followed him to the outskirts of Sanctuary. Past where the Queens stayed with their tribes. Past Thorn. He briefly considered stopping to see her but moved on. She'd want to know as well, being more of a mother than his biological one. It was already taking every ounce of his willpower to back out of what he was about to do.

"I just hope that when I do this, you can take me off your worry list," Qibli forced an optimistic tone. "Really, I can take care of myself. It's me who has to worry about you!"

"Qibli, you will always be on my worry list," Moon shot him a disapproving look. "And right now, you're at the top."

"Well, I shouldn't be. We have a whole continent to free!"

"And how do you think I'll feel if you're still being wrapped up in what you feel, being unable to do anything? Even if it is just listening. I'll be so concerned about you that I could find it hard to focus. So, even if you can't tell me everything, I just want to understand."

Qibli hadn't thought about that. He cursed himself internally. He had a lot of growing to do if he was going to be a good boyfriend.

Eventually, they reached a small cave overlooking part of the river. Animals scurried out of their sight, and the few dragons paid them little mind. He thought he saw another human, but it may have been a trick of the light.

"Okay," Qibli paced nervously. "Uh… I don't know how to do this. Well, I do, but… well, I'm sure you figured out what I'm going to do."

"I have an idea, but I don't want to presume," Moon nodded. In the faint light, Qibli once more noted the teardrop shaped markings under her eyes. Whenever he quickly glanced, it as if she was constantly crying. Very strange, the markings were. But they added to her looks.

"Right, well… if it gets too much, let me know," Qibli swallowed nervously.

"I will," Moon promised.

Taking a deep breath, Qibli removed the Skyfire band that once shielded his thoughts from her.

And then he pulled up everything he could muster.

First was his time as a hatchling. His lifestyle, a life of constant crime and appeasement issues. He remembered wanting his mother's love, only to have it returned with scorn and disinterest. The day he earned his scar flashed in his mind. He felt his mother's – Cobra's - talons ripping into his scales. The sense of betrayal and hurt. The need to make her love him. How he felt like he was a bad son to earn such a scar.

That wasn't even getting to his siblings, Sirocco and Rattlesnake. He was used to being pushed around by them. Nothing he ever did was good enough for the three of them.

And yet, when Thorn showed up wanting him, he felt like he was betraying them by leaving. He was loved. He was accepted. And it was never enough because it didn't give him what he really wanted.

A life of pleasing others followed. His willingness to give Moon up for her to be happy with Winter. The desire to be needed. Wanted. Even after coming to grips with his family history and moving on from his mother's approval. Vulture, his grandfather, was still out there. His mother, although arrested, was still a threat. And here he was, about to leave his Queen to venture to the unknown.

Where he may never come back to protect the one dragon that gave him a berth.

Then came the feelings about Darkstalker. Again, how similar they were. How tempted he was to accept his aid. The fact that the two of them, indeed, shared wants and interests.

And finally, the future that loomed with himself and Moon. Even after all this time, he felt like he didn't deserve her. And even if he did, where would they go? He certainly couldn't leave Thorn. Not after everything she did for him. But there was no way he'd ask Moon to come live in the desert. Same with her mother. They were in the perfect environment.

And Qibli would never tear that away from them.

Each and every negative thought he felt over the past month or two loomed like a specter. Darkstalker, Vulture and his mother. Moon.

Himself.

They watched him quietly. Waiting to see what he'd do. Would he live up to his promises? Would he be the dragon that deserved the second chance he got? Could he truly move on from his own insecurities and needs? He felt like he did. He knew he'd taken the right step.

But was it enough? He was barely six years old, if he was actually that age. Truthfully, he had no idea how old he was. He just went with what Thorn told him and what he guessed. It never mattered. He'd forgotten his own hatchday. It was never important enough to remember. It was only when someone did that he remembered, only to forget once again.

A startled cry from Moon snapped him from his negativity. His eyes snapped open – he hadn't realized he'd shut them – and saw Moon clutching her head. Her talons looked ready to draw blood, and without thinking, he dashed over and pulled them away.

Tears streamed down her face, and she looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. Before he could react, she threw her arms and wings around him, sobbing into his shoulder.

"I never knew," Moon whispered. "No wonder why you could never tell me…"

"And your pain is why I was so hesitant," Qibli shakily returned the hug.

"My pain comes from what you feel," Moon gripped him tighter. "Moons, how do you even wake up every day?"

"By burying it like everything else," Qibli shrugged. "My wants and feelings aren't as important as the ones I love."

"That is the wrong way to do this, Qibli!" Moon pulled away, looking him in the eye. "You have to talk to others! You can't just hold that all in! I don't know if it's bravado, or if it's how you grew up, but it's not healthy!"

"Me? Healthy? Ha," Qibli chuckled. "You just saw how my entire life wasn't healthy."

"That doesn't mean you should keep at it!" Moon gave him a stern look. "I know you're using sarcasm as a shield, and I get it. I really, really do. But I want to know the real Qibli, whoever that is. That's the Qibli I want to love."

"But Moon… this is me," he answered blankly. Did she just say love?

"It's part of you. And it's part of you that drew me to you," she shook her head. "But it's okay to let the shield down. It's okay to let it all out. You helped lift me from my depression, it's only right I do the same for you. If we want this relationship to work, we have to support each other. One of us can't do the lifting."

Qibli, once again, remained silent. Mutual support? Such a concept was foreign to him. He gave everything for his friends and family. He was never on the same level as Queen Thorn. He was always there for Winter, for Kinkajou, for Moon. And he always had the thought process was their needs overpowering his.

Nobody ever spelled this out for him.

"I can read your mind now, you know," Moon smiled faintly. "But that's okay. You don't have to say a word. I just want you to acknowledge that I'm here for you. That everyone is here for you. That battle inside you doesn't need to be fought alone."

"But I…" Qibli immediately went to make an excuse. To shove her off. "No, you're right." He admitted quietly.

"I'm not expecting you to come to me immediately. I'm not expecting you to be uncomfortable sharing what you don't want to," Moon continued. "But I will repeat myself as much as I need to for it to sink in."

Qibli's mouth was dry. Throat parched, as if he wandered the desert for a week. He felt tears wanting to come, but they never did. He wasn't holding them back, but part of his mind wouldn't accept it.

"And, when the time comes, I'll help you beat Vulture into the sands. After we shove a cactus up his nose."

Qibli snapped his head to her. Her eyes danced with amusement; a smile plastered on her face. And despite himself, he let out a roaring laugh. The first genuine, heartfelt laugh he had in a while.

"That's so unlike you," he finally said through his laughter.

"I know, but I knew it'd get a reaction," she giggled alongside him.

"I needed that," Qibli wiped away a tear. "Moons, you have no idea how much."

"I think I get an idea," Moon winked, giving him back the Skyfire. "Here. I won't pry anymore."

"No," Qibli pushed her claw away. "Not tonight. Tonight, I want to be open with you."

"Alright," she put the Skyfire on a rock next to them.

"Question…" Qibli whipped his head to the cave entrance. No one was around. "Did you uh… mean what you said about… loving me?"

"Um, yes?" Moon said as if it were obvious. "Why do you think I flew to the desert to meet you? I would never cross such a place for anyone else."

"I suppose I should have known that." Qibli blinked a few times. "Well, uh… I guess I… feel the same?"

"That's a D on the confession scale, but it's still a passing grade," she gave him a loving look, leaning closer.

Their lips connected, and Qibli felt a spark unlike any other. Dragons didn't have proper lips, so it was more or less bumping their muzzles together. Yet, it still felt nice. Well, no, nice was too tame a word. He simply couldn't describe it other than how happy he felt in that moment.

The moment ended too quickly, but at some point, they had to breathe.

"I guess we should head back," Qibli said. "They'll be looking for us."

"True, but we're not exactly hard to find," Moon pointed out. "We have so many dragons here, they'll find us easily. Provided we don't wake up before them."

"We wake up?" Qibli turned his head back to her.

"Do you really think I'm going to let you sleep alone after all this?" Moon scowled, her grip tightening around him. Qibli had been so touch deprived that he almost instinctively pulled away. "No, you're staying with me."

"Oh," Qibli managed to say. "I guess that makes sense."

"You guess?" Moon raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not good at this emotional stuff," Qibli averted his gaze.

"It's okay, neither am I. Truthfully, I am just remembering how such things go from scrolls and making it up as I go."

"Well, you're doing a better job than me," Qibli chuckled.

"Only one way to get better."

Qibli smiled softly. She was right. Once again, he glanced at the cave entrance. Still, no one there. Nevertheless, he raised a wing over the two of them.

After all, the rest of the night was between him and her.

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