#wine aunt Gale

[randomfanner]

Gale has all the bath stuff. He has got the soaps, salts, oils, herbs and flowers to make the most luxurious bath time in a large magic tub that he can keep at his perfect temperature, fret not it is big enough for two.

he has an array of different product for his hair and beard and of course to keep himself smelling fantastic. Along with lotions and such to keep himself soft.

Of course all of this is accompany by a glass of wine, some soft music playing in the background and soothing candles that waft through the air.

[autism-swagger]

I'm sooo gonna spread my trans Chad agenda with this fic

[saltycryptid]

"Gale and Astarion share some friendly banter back at camp."

Is it friendly? 😭 not 100% sure but i AM sure that whatever check Astarion had to roll was a crit fail.

((🫶💖 a little moment from the tiefling party with a bloodweave spin! TY for the ask!!))

[pendragon1400]

Halsin is a plant dad.

Gale is a cat dad.

Minsc is a confused but well meaning hamster dad.

[krikeymate]

What’s your thought (or headcanons if you have any) on Sam and Kirby being girlfriends? I totally respect your view and opinion on it if you don’t have any thoughts or if it’s not your cup of tea.

So I'm only really interested in Sam & Tara as characters, but I do hope we see her again in 7, because I really liked the interactions we got in 6, and I'm a big lover of Big Sister Kirby for the girls, but putting her in a relationship with Sam would also be a cool dynamic, and we would still get Kirby being the second best big sister to Tara.

Kirby's could be Sidney's Kincaid for Sam.

She becomes close to the girls after 6. They have trouble finding somewhere else to live, but they can't afford the rent between just the two of them, so... Kirby makes a suggestion. Or well, she just... kinda moves in and starts paying rent.

Kirby's there as a sympathetic ear and to offer advice when Danny starts pushing for more out of their relationship. He wants to talk about the future but Sam doesn't have a future planned beyond tomorrow, the only thing she knows for sure about what she wants for the future is her sister being there. Kirby gets it, she tried to have a normal relationship, to be a normal person. It didn't work out.

Kirby is instrumental in helping Tara deal with her trauma, she's been there, the injuries... the betrayal. They bond in a way that Sam thinks she should feel threatened by, but she can't. Because Tara smiles so much now, and she's so much happier, and she's always talking about the places Kirby takes her and the things they do together. And whenever Sam catches them going out or watching a movie, they always try to drag her in to join them. There's something that feels so special about sitting on the couch, her leg against Kirby's, with Tara sprawled out across them. It feels a lot like family.

Kirby's a little flirty, but Kirby's always been a little flirty, and she talks the same way to a lot of people, so Sam doesn't think anything more of it.

Ghostface comes back to haunt them. Danny makes the wrong choice. Kirby makes the right one. Sam begins to realise there's something there. Kirby gets hurt protecting her sister, and Sam realises she might actually love her.

Neither of them want marriage, neither of them are interested in kids. They just want to focus on the today.

Kirby takes both the girls shooting, but Sam refuses to have another gun in the house. She's adamant that Kirby keeps hers locked in a safe and that only she knows the code. Kirby doesn't pry, although she has her suspicions, she respects Sam's demands.

They're the type of girlfriends who roast people together.

Gale, Kirby, and the girls become a sort of family unit. Gale and Kirby are sniping at each other over dinner one day when Tara goes "that's no way to speak to your mother-in-law" and dinner descends into chaos. They hadn't even told anyone they were dating yet, it was so new, and Sam had been agonising over how to tell Tara, terrified that it would ruin everything. And that doesn't even touch on the mother in law comment.

[recitedemise]

A sad tale's best for winter. I have one of sprites and goblins.

Sprites and goblins?! Well, oh me, oh my!

Looking over, Gale's expression goes half-stunned. He stirs their cooking pot, the fragrant scent of spices simmering with herbs, and here, he's all too relieved for the autumn weather. After all, a sad tale, last he checked, pairs miserably with beef. "Oh, I'm sure you've your Iion's share of stories, Wyll," Gale remarks, checking their supper's thickness, "though as the Blade of Frontiers, I'd admit to some surprise. I'd have thought you more for tales that'd warm the cockles." Of course. Legends of silver-clad adventurers and rose-tiara'd knights... Wyll, eyes blown bright with the midnight starlight, must have fancied them dizzyingly in his tender youth. Gale adds some thyme, cutting their warlock a genial grin. Truthfully, he, too, had read several as a boy himself, and perhaps still a romantic in his foul, sick heart, he discovers that happiness is still his lean. That said... "Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. The leaves are just beginning to golden with Marpenoth's timely arrival. Besides, with your penchant to wax lyrical, you'd do wonders for more delightful stories—or even those more scandalous. Consider me your very willing ear."

Wow. Wyll as something a sliver more renegade? Now, that, Gale's certain he has to hear of. 

[vibingandsimping]

Randomly assorted headcanons (sfw+nsfw) for randomly assorted characters… pt. 2

I have yet to make a pinned post with some sort of navigation/rules guide but I will state in all my posts. Asks and Submissions are always open and if you have trouble with it comment!

Not proofread cause that’s for the weak 🥰

Characters involved: Gale, Halsin, Karlach

Tags/Forewarnings: AFAB + AMAB genitalia mentions, use of magic to enhance sex, size differences, breeding, general worshipping, oral (receiving + giving), temperature play, fingering, penetration.

Gale

Y’all love pathetic men… I support. Anyways… Tell me i’m wrong but he’d love to spoil you. We already know he practically worships the ground you walk on. You entered his life full of strife and paved a way for him to have a more hopeful future. His eyes are practically hearts when he gazes upon you. As such, he’d love to buy you and craft you things when he can. He’d buy you a gorgeous dress/vest/suit and enchant it to your liking. It feels, quite literally, like magic when you wear it. He presses kisses to your ear as he sings about how downright breathtaking you are. You hate the fact that the words make a giggle bubble in your chest.

He holds you at any opportunity he gets. In truth, he cannot fathom that you two are lovers. He’s been with a goddess before but even she did not compare to you. His pinky grazes yours as you two stand near eachother. When someone’s back turns, he presses kisses onto your cheek until you forcibly push him away. Which he always uses his puppy eyes as a retaliation to show his hate. Curse those big brown eyes. If you’d let him, he’d be more intimate without being inherently sexual. His hands glide along your skin as he helps you bathe in a nearby river or lake. Occasionally he whispers about how perfect you are to him, inside and out.

Personally, this man is the male version of a wine aunt. Once he feels that he can unwind in the camp without facing repercussions, he likes to get delightfully tipsy. Enough that his skin warms and his tongue loosens. He laughs along with the companions and makes chatter in the quiet camp. If you happen to grace him with your presence, he sings out your name and beckons you forth. To his surprise, you settle next to him on the bedroll and he wraps an arm around your waist. Squeezing you tight as he presses his nose against the pulse in your neck. He murmurs almost incoherently but you can tell from the tone of his voice it was sweet nothings.

When the camp is silent and everyone is asleep, he enjoys the thrill of seeking you out. He finds you in your bedroll and gently shakes you awake, claiming he desires you and cannot sleep. If you are so kind to spare your sleep and indulge him, he promises he’ll make it worth your time. You two trail off to somewhere more secluded before he grasps you by the waist and presses his lips onto yours. His lips aren’t too rough against yours but pleasantly warm. His fingers dance along your skin, trailing the expanse of your stomach. Suddenly, he’s whispering against your lips. You can’t tell if he’s worked you up properly or if he’s genuinely speaking nonsense. Then, a sudden and intense shiver runs through your body. He smirks at you slightly and you cannot help the excitement in your veins.

You’d nearly forgotten about the strange shiver that encompassed your body until you were on your knees in front of him. His expression held a soft intimacy yet a deep desire. He was anything but pure… just so willing for your attention and love. His cock would throb before you in a silent plead for touch. You wrap your hand around the base before wrapping your lips around the tip. He gasps softly at the sensation whilst your eyes widened. As you touched him, there was a tingle in your own loins. It was shockingly intense and you mentally cursed this man for the effect he had on you. Steeling yourself, you began to work on his shaft. Suckling, licking, stroking… all while breathy gasps and whimpers escaped his chest. The tingle in your body didn’t dissipate- no, it only grew stronger. That’s when you gazed up at him in realization. His gaze was knowing and a little dark. The bastard charmed you… so that all the pleasure he experienced you’d experience and vice-versa. So that you two were properly intermingled for all the pleasure indulged that night.

He takes a certain pleasure in finding the spots on your body that make you shake and moan. Especially those that aren’t explicitly between your thighs. If he finds a spot on your neck, or thighs, or chest that makes you whimper and grasp his hair? He’s showering it with all his attention and love until it’s practically numb. His beard tickles your skin and causes you to occasionally squirm from the sensation. He wants you as turned on and into him as he is you. You can feel his erection against your thigh as he covers your neck in hickeys. His hips occasionally grinding for some sort of friction as he focused on you. If your hand trails down to his bulge, he grabs it swiftly and holds it beside your head. His lips are swollen and wet from his kisses and his pupils are blown wide. “Not yet, please, I’m not done. Not ready for this to be over yet…” He whines and gazes at you with a certain twinkle. Who are you to tell him no? Or, maybe that’s what you want to see?

Halsin

He adores the size difference you two have. He towers over nearly everybody he knows and gotten used to being large. Honestly, it was kind of a nuisance at times. He envied others who could bed anyone without the worry of repercussions. Yet, that is a topic for discussion later down this list. Point said, he loves the feeling you provide in his chest. A protective instinct overwhelms him. No matter how soft, rugged, muscular or chubby you are. He wants to hold you and ensure you’ll be safe. The look in his eyes as you stand on your tiptoes to even reach him bending over for a kiss shows the thrill he finds in it. It’s even better when you two are cuddling and you can rest your body so comfortably ontop of his. He’ll encapsulate his arms around your form and keep you close, enjoying the thrum of your heart as you sleep.

He’d teach you how to carve wood, if you’d like. It was one of his hobbies and for you to show interest in it only reminds him of how fine a specimen you are. He’s careful as he teaches you, watchful eyes constantly glancing and staring over your shoulder as your thumbs turn the wood and the knife makes shavings. His hands wrap around yours and guide you when you struggle or use improper technique. His chest slotted against your back as he hums softly, paying no mind to how flustered you’d get. When you finish your first lesson, you both show off the sculptures you made. He’s thoroughly impressed and praises whatever you decided to carve. Later, you find it on a table in his tent. The sight makes your chest tighten and heart soar. He loves you so utterly deeply.

He craves you so desperately it is almost amusing. Your touch, your voice, your presence. He doesn’t outwardly express it but there’s a certain air around him when you approach. His gaze softens as his chest puffs and he watches you expectantly. Despite all the lovers he’s taken in his years, you’d swear he looks like he’s fallen in love for the first time. He’s nearly whipped by you. No-one has seemed so enraptured by you before. Each word you speak he’s hung unto, he watches all your movements so closely. Halsin makes sure to wrap you tightly in his hugs. Both to show you that he loves all of you and to remind you of the fact he wishes to protect you. He knows his boundaries and doesn’t follow you like a lost puppy… but when you seek him of your own accord he’s utterly thrilled.

This man is a breeder. Don’t argue with me on it. He seeks all the thrills and pleasures of nature. Regardless of if you can or cannot get pregnant, he stuffs you so full that in your haze you are sure you’ll carry his kid. He tries so hard to be gentle with you and to some degree he is. His hands trail your skin softly like you were fine china. Though, he allows himself the pleasure of gripping your curves, dips and muscles. While he holds you so gently, you cannot say the same for where he’s pushing his length into. It’s vigorous- almost mind-numbing. He groans into your ear shamelessly and with the knowledge you find it attractive. If you’d let him, he’d give into his desires and fill you til he was sure he had nothing else left to give. He’d pick you up after and bathe you. Washing you of the forest dirt and sweat accumulated on your skin. All while whispering about how he adores you and you’ve done so well for him.

We all know he’s a munch/dick eater. It’s literally confirmed in his sex scene that he immediately goes down on you… and for that I will write for.

AFAB. He’ll hook a thigh over his shoulder and press his nose against the bump of your cunt. His tongue lavishes your clit in licks and suckles as his gaze remains heady on yours. If you can even look at him, that is. One hand trails on the leg you’re standing on before teasing your parted lips. He gathers your wetness and pushes a singular finger inside. He watches as your body tenses and relaxes from his ministrations. His tongue does not stop it’s assault. Then it’s two fingers, hooking and searching for the spot that he knows will make you abandon previous care. Once he finds it, you’re crying out to the woods. His large fingers practically abuse your walls as he sucks your clit like a madman. You began to whimper and shake in his hold. His strength became apparent when he pushes your hips against the tree to keep you still. To show that you cannot escape his pleasure and act of love. Pride swells in his chest and he keeps going until you’re shuddering in his hold. The coil in your belly snapping as hands fly down to grasp his hair, hips rocking against his face.

AMAB. There’s a smirk that engraves his face when he sees exactly how hard you’d gotten for him. His hands wrap around your thighs as he trails kisses along the skin of your stomach. Then, as soon as you open your mouth to protest, a kiss is placed on the tip. You tense and he begins to show your length some attention. One hand abandons your thigh to favor your sack, gently fondling as his kitten licks and kisses turn into something more intense. Lips wrapping around the head before taking you in one gulp. Your head throws back and your thighs quiver. Either he had tons of experience or you were simply smaller in comparison and he could do it with ease. Either way, the warmth of his throat is nearly overwhelming to your senses. He looks up between your legs when he could, bobbing his head as you began to melt into the pleasure. His nails gently scratched the skin of your thigh while his other continued it’s undivided attention to the sensitive skin of your balls. He continues like this, humming and suctioning around your cock until you either spill down his throat or pull him off of you. Either way, he has a cocky smile on his face as he wipes spit and precum from his lips.

Karlach

She is a very passionate woman. She burns bright, literally and metaphorically, and is a flame that will forever burn by your side. She is especially passionate about her companions and most importantly you. She supports you in nearly every decision you make and if she doesn’t agree, she tries to understand anyways. She’s loud and speaks so highly of you to those she meets. Almost like a mother showing off her kids accomplishments in life. She’d likely be such a good mother if she ever had that opportunity. Until you fix her mechanical heart she supports you with just words and actions. As much as she craves to pull you into her grasp or press her lips on yours, she’s a ticking bomb and is capable of hurting those. When you do fix it? She can barely keep her hands and lips off you. Ten years of forced abstinence nearly drove her MAD. While she doesn’t outright burn you, she’s so, so warm.

She loves jamming out. Dancing, playing an instrument, singing… it gives her an excuse to release her pent up energy. Bard or not, she gives you those puppy eyes and nearly begs you to join her. She’ll dance with you and wrap her arms around your waist or hold your hand as you two dip and twirl. Her laugh is an angelic sound and any reservations you held melted away in her intense heat and passion. She had a way of lighting the room up and bringing out the best in those around her. You admired her for it. She eventually slows the rhythm between you two and smiles against your skin (hunched over or not). She whispers against you, light and full of emotion. “You have no idea how thankful I am to have met you. I feel complete.” The breath you take is shaky as her words fill you with such fullness. This tiefling had wormed her way into your heart like the tadpole your mind. Except, this was a worm you wished to keep. You both would do anything for each other and you both knew it.

She absolutely seethes when anyone does you dirty. The girl is quite literally growling when someone hurts you emotionally or physically. Even a wrong look can have her hackles raising and her all pissed. You sometimes have to sit her down and remind her that you’re fine. She assures you’re safe and you appreciate it. After losing so much in her life, the control of her own body and mind, she cannot imagine losing you. Small threats alarm her and she feels guilty that she cannot contain her emotions. This time you assured her that you weren’t going anywhere because she was passionate and hot-headed. You two had your own issues… and she wants nothing more than to work through them together and be the biggest supporters for each other. She pulls you into a bear hug afterwards, nuzzling against your jaw as her horn tangles in your hair. She plants kisses along the skin til you’re laughing and the air is less tense between you two.

As much as she so UTTERLY wishes to touch you, she’s so touch deprived. You know that she needs the attention after she’s had her heart repaired. You lay her down on the ground and trail kisses from her lips down to her throat and to her chest. She watches you with an excitement. It appears as if she was ready to jump out of her skin from the pure joy of being able to enjoy the sensations of flesh once more. You pay extra attention to her breasts and nipples before continuing further down to her navel. At this point, she’s squirming and whimpering desperately. “Come on, babe. Don’t tease me. I need you- so badly..” Her tone was pathetic if anything. There was no true fight or bite in her words. She liked giving her submission to you for once, letting her mind shut down. You wished nothing more than to give her what she deserved after all this time.

Once you finally reach further south, your hands slot around her hips and hold them down as you plant a few kisses against the inner of her thigh. All the teasing between you two was so worth it when you hear the wanton moan escape her lips as your tongue finally met her most sensitive parts. The heat of her cunt was intense- just like the rest of her. It was nearly overwhelming… almost burning your tongue. Yet, you ached for that warmth. To finally enjoy her moans and provide her with such pleasure. She has claws in your hair, tugging and tickling your scalp. One hand on her chest as you begin a rhythm with your tongue against her clit. Once she was beginning to properly fall apart against your mouth, you released a hand from her hip and trailed betwixt her lower lips. Your fingers sought her warmth and was pleasantly surprised with how she burned even hotter inside. Truly a creature of the hottest hells. Yet, it didn’t quite burn you… certainly was a different sensation compared to the crisp air around you. You know that she’ll return this pleasure tenfold to you. It’s her nature… and you couldn’t wait til you two were properly intertwined later in the night.

[robinaa]

god i loved wine aunt gale vs actual proper hero wyll

you know if he was even slightly less noble he woulda just let gale get arrested

[monster-mash-m]

Past my limit

Halsin x Afab!Reader

MDNI

Urggggg I can’t get this big beefy man off my mind it’s actually a problem.

Cw: smut with oh so very little plot, size difference, Afab reader, words like ‘pretty’ and ‘beautiful’ to describe reader, gn reader, pinning, growling, spoilers for act 3, Halsin is at his limit, p in v sex, creampie, biting, established relationship, grinding.

Lemme know if I missed any!

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It was a cool night in the camp. Everyone was surrounding the campfire, bantering and telling their little stories of the day to one another. You telling Gale and shadowheart about how you got turned into a wheel of cheese at the circus. Of course they laughed at the absurdity of the situation.

You continued to talk and listen in turn, that was until your hairs stood on end, you felt hungry eyes on you. Your skin rose in goosebumps as you turned your head in the direction of the feeling of the demanding stare, and who it belonged to. Halsin. Is eyes trained on you like a predator ready to pounce, his whole body tense, the veins in his arms bulged as he restrained himself.

You smirked and quickly looked away. You and halsin had a little… bet at the moment. You and him were the camps official pda couple and you somehow made a little bet with each other. On who could last the longest without any sexy time. And my, you have not made it easy for the Druid.

Accidentally stopping abruptly infront of him when he’s following behind you, getting him to press up against you. Or timing your bathing time so when he goes to bathe, you’re out of the river putting on a show of drying yourself off. Or how you licked the honey from your hands a few days ago, making intense eye contact with him. All of this, it was driving him crazy that he couldn’t touch you. He started looking like a mad man, not to mention how irritable he had become to others.

So now you’re sat at the fire with a smug grin. Astarion ever the prying type lets out his typical wine aunt laugh “Tav dear, what are you doing to the poor Druid? He looks like he’s about to explode.” You snicker and smirk back “oh I bet he is.” You make eye contact with halsin licking your teeth as you look down to his lips. His eye twitched. Wyll rolled his eyes and Gale let out a scoff at the whole scene, the less open people at the camp.

You stand up “Hm, I think I shall have a walk in the woods, would anyone like to join me-“ before you could even finish Halsin was on his feet and looming next to you “I shall accompany you my heart…” he gruffed out. Everyone giving eachother knowing glances as Halsin practically drags you to your usual…. Fun spot.

You grunt with a grin as he presses you against a tree, his large hands firmly on your squishy hips. “My heart…” his voice strained and full of need. He pressed against you, gods he was already rock solid. He subconsciously began to grind against you, “you’ve pushed me to my limit… every waking moment I’ve wanted to devour you, claim you infront of all our friends… you’re a little minx…” he groaned out with a tattered breath.

“Awh seems like my big Druid can’t stand a little teasing?” You let out a condescending coo with a pout to tease him, push him further. His eyes glowed that dangerous yellow as he let out a low growl that rumbled in his chest “You play dangerous games my dear…”

“Do I?” You purr as you begin to tug on his trousers. “What prizes do I get for playing such games?” One of your hands sneaks down to palm his straining cock before pulling his hot cock out. He shuddered and practically ripped your clothes off, it’s fine I’m sure he’ll get you some more sometime. “You win the inability to walk tomorrow.” He whispered as his eyes glazed over as his growling eyes traced your body. “And I get the prize of taking my hearts cunt.” He chuckled cockily.

He dives into you neck and begins to kiss and suck, missing your scent, your taste, the way your skin melds with his so perfectly. He grunted as he hoisted you up, making you wrap your legs around his firm but soft hips. You gasp, feeling his pre dripping cock slide between your ass cheeks. He resisted the urge to thrust as his hands gripped onto you greedily.

He pulled away with a smirk as he admired the myriad of hickeys on your neck and collar bone “mh… nod isn’t this better my heart?” You nod with a love struck face “Halsin please… I know I’ve managed to stay calm but… gods I miss you… your fat cock, I want you to fuck me. Hard, and now.” You gaze up at him, your words making his heavy cock twitch. “Yes my heart, what kind of partner would I be to not oblige?”

He carried you to a soft patch of grass and laid you down, hovering on top of you. His one of his hands instantly trails to your wet cunt “Mh, I’m glad to see the feeling is mutual…” he chuckled to himself as he sunk a finger into your fluttering cunt slowly. His breath hitches as yours does, he bites his lip as he watches his finger disappear. “Oak father guide me… I can’t hold back much longer, if I do… I might truly lose myself…” he muttered.

The man was impatient, he needed to be inside of you like now. Only problem was, he won’t fuck you until he knows you’re stretched enough to take his thick cock. He grunted impatiently as he grabbed your hips and pulled them upwards until your head was inbetween his thighs, his cock resting against your neck and cheek. Your back pressed against his chest and legs on his shoulders “Ah Halsin wha-Ahh-“ you gasp out before you could ask him what the fuck he was doing.

His thick tongue licked a slow stripe up your glistening cunt. He groaned at the taste “sweeter than the finest fruits nature has to offer my heart…” he growled before digging in. He resumed his fingering, slowly adding more and more until he was 4 fingers deep. All while his lips were wrapped around your clit with eagerness, sucking and licking with urgency.

Your body tensed as wave after wave of warmth built up in your abdomen as Halsin brought you closer and closer to the brink. He was practiced, he knew where and when to poke and prod at your sensitive slit. You noticed quite a large amount of pre smudging against your cheek. “Halsin- please-“ you pleaded. He looked up from his meal. “Need you in me now, fuck me full of your cum.” With that he froze. His eyes narrowing as he let out a low as fuck growl. He pulled away from your dripping cunt licking your juices of his lips “yes my heart.”

He immediately complies as he lays you down again gon your back. Not wiping away the pre on your cheek since he had more important matters to attend to. He immediately lined the angry red mushroom tip of his cock up with your excited entrance. “Brace yourself my love.” He hummed out gruffly as he groaned, slowly pushing his pre covered tip in.

“Oh gods… my heart your cunt is always so tight for me…” he huffs out as he isn’t even half way in. You let out a shaky moan at the feeling of being stretched out by his second leg. “Fuck halsin… I swear you’ve gotten bigger…” he lets out another breathless chuckle as he slowly stuffs you full. He grunted after he’s finally bottomed out in you. Waiting for a moment or two for you to adjust to his fat cock.

Soon after you begin to squirm “Halsin… fuck- hurry up and ravage me already.” You hiss out demandingly. He just laughed again at your demanding tone “I’m just making sure I don’t actually break you my heart.”

Soon he begins to move his hips slowly, it was clear it was hard for him to hold back, sweat rolled down his hairy chest as he gazed at you intensely. You keened out at feeling his heavy girth drag against your clenching walls as he moved in and out slowly. “I’m going to go faster now my heart…” he whispered lowly. You only able to respond in a nod as he began to pick up the pace.

Soon not after he’s ramming into your cunt like a feral beast, he has your legs pressed against your chest as he hits every deep spongy spot in you. Making you mewl his name as you scratch his back. His heavy breeder balls slapped against your ass as his hips went at a rapid pace. His muscles tense in delight everytime he heard a lewd squelch of your cunt being stuffed. “Halsin- I’m close- fuck” you groan out throwing your head back as he bullied his cock in and out of your pussy,

His own thrusts becoming sloppy and erratic as he got closer to his own climax “my heart… fuck-“ he swore out in bliss as his abdomen contracted, along with yours. You both let out whorish noises in unison as you gush around his cock, your walls spasming, sending him over the edge. His leaking cock trembled before his hot load shot into you instantly. He grunted and began to slow his hips “Silvanas really blessed me with such a beautiful partner…” he gasped out as he gulped in air to catch his breath.

You hum and smile goofily “gods I needed that good fuck .” He once again chuckled, pulling out, his seed oozing out of your used cunt. “That’s it my heart… “ he hummed gently as he finally pulled all the way out. “You lost.” You say with a cheeky smirk, making him roll his eyes.

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Urg love me that man.

Hope y’lot enjoyyyy

[neontokyoo]

Hello I saw your post about fic request and I'm here to humbly ask you if you'd write anything with Halsin and a pregnant partner (Tav) after the epilogue party.

@amorgansgal and me both wrote a little something about how he would be at the party and that kinda brought my thoughts back to that whole thing.

I'm thinking some domestic fluff, or maybe how the companions would react, would they visit/ come over to care for the soon-to-be-growing-family, who's gonna be the cool uncle and/ or wine aunt and the likes of that.

Of course I'd also take anything with smut, I'm enthusiastically on board with anything Halsin related :D

Anyway, if you get around to writing a lil something, I'd be very happy! <3

of course! I love my bear-man! This is quite possibly one of my cutest requests I have ever gotten. Hopefully my heart is still functioning in one piece by the time I finish this 😂

Pairing: Halsin x Fem!Tav Genre: fluff Summary: After finally defeating the Netherbrain Tav finds herself expecting Halsin’s baby. Which, unfortunately, the rest of the party was able to find out about fairly quickly. Warnings: possible mentions of (bear) sex and bg3 spoilers.

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Everyone at the party after the final battle knew that there was something different about Tav. They couldn’t quite wrap their heads around it, but they could tell something was going on.

Perhaps it was the extra weight she gained, or the way she waddles when she walks. But they definitely knew something was up. Especially when Halsin was beaming every time he saw Tav, or occasionally wrapping his arms around her waist with his hands resting on her stomach. It wasn’t until then that they realized what it was.

Tav was pregnant.

“Hmm, do you think that the child would come out as a bear or a person?” Astarion snickered. “That sounds like quite the interesting—and painful—delivery for Tav.”

“That’s enough of that.” Gale grumbled, elbowing the vampire’s shoulder. “I highly doubt their offspring will be a bear. Halsin isn’t even completely a bear.”

“No, but he’s a man-bear,” the vampire replied matter-of-factly. “Who knows, maybe they got down and dirty in bear form,” he shrugged, “it’s always a possibility.”

“That’s not a weird way to think about your friends at all,” Shadowheart muttered. “But I’m pretty sure their baby is not going to be a bear. They might not even be a Druid like Halsin is, so the chances of them being a bear are pretty slim.”

“I love how we’re arguing about whether the child is a bear or a person,” Karlach chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest. “Usually it’s an argument about whether it’s a boy or a girl.”

The group continued their banter, only to go completely silent when the couple in question came in to view.

The couple held hands as they talked to each other in the distance, close enough for the group to stop talking so they’re not overheard, but far enough for the group to not hear their conversation.

Tav looked at her boyfriend, laughing to herself as she glanced over at the rest of her companions. “Do you think they know?”

Halsin couldn’t help but smirk as he laughed along with her. “They definitely know about it if they’re arguing over if it’s going to be a bear or not.”

“Then there’s no point in telling them?”

The elf shook his head as he looked at the group with an amused expression, visible fear on their faces as they realized Halsin knew what they were talking about. “No, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

A sudden light blush spread across Tav’s cheeks as the realization hit her. “But how in the nine hells do they know that I fucked you as a bear?!”

Halsin shrugged.

“You guys are just so fucking loud, we could hear the roars from camp!” Astarion shouted, overhearing parts of the conversation as they got closer.

The couple burst out laughing.

“Well, looks like we’ll need to go even deeper into the woods next time.” Halsin chuckled.

“If we go any deeper we might run out of woods!” Tav exclaimed.

Halsin smiled, turning to meet Tav’s gaze as he pulled a strand of hair out of her face and pulled her in for a quick kiss.

“At least we know that it’s not a bear baby.”

Extra headcanons:

The pregnancy was planned and Tav and Halsin have been thinking about it for a long time before they decided it was something they really wanted to do.

Astarion and Gale are constantly fighting over the baby after it’s born.

Karlach, Astarion, and (possibly) Minthara are the rich wine aunts who like to gossip with the kid about all the drama going on in their life as they get older.

Gale, Wyll, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart are the cool uncles who spoil the child and teach them how to defend themselves.

Halsin has a soft spot for girls. I personally just see him being the biggest girl dad.

when the baby was born, Tav and Halsin had to distance themselves from the rest of the party because they were never able to see their child when they had all their companions together.

Gale teaches the child magic.

Lae’zel, Wyll, and Karlach teach the child how to fight.

Astarion teaches them how to sneak around, steal without getting caught, and break into locked doors.

Shadowheart teaches them how to help protect themselves and the people around them

Tav and Halsin try to teach their kid that half of what they’re being taught is not okay. They don’t want their children sneaking around and picking fights 😂

[senualothbrok]

Open Hands, Open Hearts

Summary: With the Netherbrain defeated and the companions about to go their separate ways, Gale decides to be honest about his feelings for Tav.

A slow burn one-shot, featuring pining Gale, monk Tav, and agony aunt Shadowheart.

Word count: 5.4k

Non-18+. Gale x Tav (f!monk). Pining. Mild hurt/comfort.

AO3 link

A/N: Big thanks to @inglorionamy-ammy for being my beta-reader extraordinaire. I hope you enjoy some slow-burn pining and reflections on the philosophy of non-attachment. As always, comments and feedback are welcome!

She stands apart.

She cannot see you watching her. She swirls an untasted drink, her gaze drifting over the bustling merriment of the weaving crowd. You are memorising the curves of her face, illuminated in the glow of the bonfire. The gossamer scar on her left cheek, and the lilting arc of her nose. The weather-worn dips of her skin. Amidst the clatter of trenchers and shouts of laughter, she wears a faint smile like a veil. As usual, she is lost in a world of her own. 

It had been you who suggested celebrating your victory against the Netherbrain with drinks in your hands and reckless abandon in your hearts. You had been swept up in the elation of the moment, the flurry of embraces from your companions, all grins and clasped shoulders. The dizzying promise of freedom as you clutched the mark of the orb on your chest. Tav had nodded at you, smiling brightly, her dark eyes glimmering before she looked away. She had maintained her customary reserve, as she does now, as she has done at all the parties and gatherings since this journey began.

Tav has always worn her hair in a tight bun, as though any concession to beauty would be a distraction. But tonight, obsidian locks tumble over her shoulders like the feathers of a raven. Against the hard muscles of her frame, her tresses look impossibly soft. You wonder, not for the first time, how they would feel against your lips.

You throw back the wine in your glass. 

“Enjoying the view?” 

You spin towards Shadowheart’s dulcet drawl. She smirks before taking a sip of wine, then wrinkles her nose in disgust. 

“I hope it makes up for this disappointing vintage. I suppose even the heroes of Baldur’s Gate don’t deserve the best wine in the cellars.”

You shift along the bench, making space for her. “Alas, beggars can’t be choosers. We’re remarkably fortunate there are any wine cellars left, all things considered.”

Shadowheart huffs as she sinks down beside you. Her voice is light with affection. 

“Ever the optimist, aren’t you?”

You titter, setting your empty glass on the ground. “I auditioned for the role of pragmatist, but you'd scooped that up already.”

Her eyes dance. You can sense the intensity of Shadowheart’s appraisal as she looks from you to Tav. She clears her throat.

“I don’t mean to be blunt, Gale,” she begins.

You arch an eyebrow. “Don’t you?”

“Well.” She sighs. “Maybe I do.”

You are all immeasurably tired, not just from your adventures, but from the lives you have led. The battles you have endured, together and alone. You can forgive any directness on Shadowheart’s part. You have grown accustomed to it, after all - maybe even fond of it. 

“You do realise that after tonight, we might never see each other again?” 

You baulk at this. You almost make a reflexive joke to dismiss it - that you are looking forward to being spared Astarion’s cutting remarks, or the overpowering evidence of Minsc’s poor hygiene. But sorrow quivers in Shadowheart's brow. You realise that the thought is anguish to her too. 

“Of course we will,” you manage. “Bonds forged in blood aren't so easily severed.”

Shadowheart stares at you. There is a heaviness in her eyes that makes you look away.

“If we do, who knows how long it’ll be before our paths cross again.”

You are reminded of your hasty farewells on the docks. You still half expect Wyll to appear beside you with a chuckle. A hearty slap on the back from Karlach. A solemn hum from Lae'zel. Their absence is a living, breathing thing that simmers between you. 

You wave your hand weakly, an attempt at dismissal. But the determination in Shadowheart's features arrests you.

“If you have important things to say to her, Gale, you should say them now.”   

You frown, backfooted. “What could I possibly have to say to our fearless leader that I haven't already said in the many months we've enjoyed together?”

Shadowheart snorts. “Come now, Gale. You're many things, but you're not subtle.”

You try to feign ignorance, but it does not deter her.

“I’d have to be blind not to catch all those longing looks and stolen glances, or notice the purple wash of your tent on lonely nights.”

You start in your seat. Fire blazes up your neck, burning in your cheeks, smouldering in your ears. You gape, resisting the urge to bury your face in your robes. 

Shadowheart chortles, patting you briskly on the shoulder. “Not to worry. We're all mature adults.”

You cough. At a loss, you fumble at your breeches, wringing your hands. You wonder if it would be unconscionably rude to misty step away from this conversation altogether. 

Amusement crinkles in Shadowheart's gaze. There is tenderness there. All at once, you are reminded that every moment left with your companions, however mortifying, is precious. And perhaps it was foolish to expect such things to remain hidden, living in close quarters as you have been, forever teetering on the precipice between life and death. You have all been stripped bare with each other.

In the end, it has been an honour. To know and be known, after an eternity of being alone.

You would not usually discuss the matters of the heart so openly. But Shadowheart is right. Who knows how long you have left? 

You clear your throat, your gaze returning to Tav like an anchor. She is crouched now, ruffling Scratch’s dusty fur intently as he nestles into her. You steady yourself.

“That ship sailed long ago, Shadowheart. In fact, it didn't just sail. It arrived at its location and returned a few times over.”

It still pains you to admit it. Pathetic, you know. You have tried, in vain, to rid yourself of your feelings. It was easier, with the constant threats to your existence, the relentless fight for survival. There was always some danger to distract you from that gnawing ache. Now, with the joy of victory, you are left with the suffering of wasted love.

What a sad, sorry thing.  

Shadowheart grimaces. “Yet you’re still waiting at the docks.” 

You stare at her, questioning. Once again, she sighs. 

“Tav’s a monk, Gale. An incredibly committed one. She was trained to deny every single desire she has. To sacrifice her every need for the greater good. You know that, right?”

She stresses every word, like it is a secret code. You strain against her meaning. 

She grizzles. “You have no idea? None at all? Truly?”

You suddenly sense where this is going. And truthfully, there was a time when you had wondered. You remember standing beside Tav, so close you could smell the tang of her sweat, the Weave flowing between you, making you one. Awe radiated from her, her vision lit up by the miracle of a magic that was not Ki, cocooning her in an altogether different kind of peace. In the purity of that instant, you were overcome by a longing to be closer. You let your eyes soak in every inch of her, the perfect balance of her body, the softness within her hardness. So much strength, always wielded in kindness, never for cruelty. So much power, always wielded for life, never for death.

You wanted to understand, then. The Way of the Open Hand, and all its tenets she held so dear. The mystery of her, in all her quiet glory. The secret behind her unwavering goodness. The resilience of her peace. Such tranquility, such certainty of purpose. Such a far cry from the rot inside you, the crushing burden of your mistakes. 

She is beautiful, you thought, knowing she would feel your thinking of it.

When the image first came to you, you struggled to parse it. The fluttering of her cut and calloused fingers over the bristles of your beard. The warmth of her bruised skin against your own. The quiver of her plump and parted lips, searching for and finding yours. A swirling wet desire, raw and piercing. 

When you realised what it was, you gasped. You stepped back. She withdrew too, her dark eyes averted, her face shadowed and unreadable. And then the connection had broken, and as you felt the Weave dissolve into the hollow night, a silence descended on you like a flood. 

Perhaps you had imagined it. She could not have felt such a thing. The desire had been so intense, so sharp, like the grasping thrust of a blade. It could not have belonged to someone whose hands were always open, whose entire being was steadfast as still waters that had never seen a storm. She was a master of the Way, a seeker of Enlightenment. She lived like she had surpassed the passions of the heart and flesh. 

You had planned to forget it. Ignore it. Pretend it never happened. But the image stirred something inside you, hot and red and hungry. It grew with every brush of her fingers as you traded tomes and scrolls, every flicker of her curious eyes when you shared musings great and small. Every evening lounging beside her as she meditated, cloaked in a peace that transcended words. 

But when you had confessed to her on that fateful night, beneath the canopy of beauty and wonder you had conjured in her honour, she had turned away. She had whispered a choked apology, her brow twisted like never before. For the first time, shame and guilt trembled in her features as she retreated. 

That had been the end of it. For Tav, perhaps, but not for you.

Shadowheart narrows her eyes. “So you didn't find it strange to see the calmest, most courteous woman in all of Faerun lashing out at Elminster Aumar, the most respected wizard in all the realms?”

You frown. It is true. Tav had been unusually animated, maybe even a little brusque, when Elminster had asked you to sacrifice yourself. You had chalked it down to pragmatism, weariness, maybe. An inordinately long day, or a torturously sleepless night. You did not have the presence of mind to reflect on Tav’s reaction, anyway, in the midst of your own devastation.

“Even paragons of virtue aren't immune to the short fuse of fatigue,” you suggest. “And cheese can wreak havoc on one’s digestive system, particularly in the amounts we consumed that evening. In fact, on more than one occasion, troubles in my breadbasket have led me to some rather disgraceful outbursts to Tara-”

Shadowheart groans. “Are you telling me that Tav disrespected the Sage of Shadowdale because she was a bit tired and had too much cheese?”

You swallow. Resolve clenches in her jaw in the awkward pause that follows. She tries again.

“You never wondered whose idea it was for me to make you all those special remedies, to take the edge off your orb pain?”

You scratch your head. “Was this a question I ought to have asked?” You are confused. “Should I have doubted your kindness and generosity?”

“Your faith in me is flattering,” Shadowheart drawls. “But we were practically strangers back then. I would have needed some incentive. Tav didn't. Your existence was incentive enough.”

A memory assails you. The aftermath of your defeat of Ketheric Thorm, when Tav was forced to draw on your ingenious resurrection protocol. Her juddering breaths as she leaned over your bleeding body. The anguished panic in her eyes. The muffled sound she made as you revived, lurching towards you and then flinching away. Her face impenetrable, her chest heaving as she withdrew. 

No. It cannot be. 

You shake your head. “You've misunderstood, Shadowheart. Tav cares for all of us. Everyone, indiscriminately and in equal measure.”

‘To walk the Path of Enlightenment,’ Tav had said when you asked her what she desired above all else. ‘To defend the weak and defenseless.’  If Tav loved anything, it was that grand purpose. There was no room for anything, anyone, else. 

“I certainly don't hold a special place in her heart. Far from it. When I…” You grimace, sweeping your hand through your hair. “Well, she set me straight in no uncertain terms. Whatever feelings you imagine she harbours for me are confined to the bonds of simple friendship, nothing more.” 

Shadowheart sucks in a breath. She looks up, as if she is appealing to the heavens for strength.

“I never thought an archwizard could be such a fool.” 

You bristle. “An archwizard would have little tolerance for unwarranted displays of discourtesy.”

At your reaction, she softens. For an instant, she looks almost sheepish. Leaning back, she gestures towards Tav. Tav is cross legged now, her head tilted upwards, seeking the stars overhead. She had marvelled, too, at the azure sky you created for her, as though every constellation you crafted carried the wisdom she so craved. 

“Do you know how hard it is to make Tav laugh?” 

There is a wistfulness in Shadowheart’s tone. A kind of recognition. You remember that she knows the struggle for joy better than most, having spent most of her life cloistered in darkness and loss. You wonder, vaguely, whether that is so different from being cloistered in the confines of virtue.

“Not that polite smile,” she goes on. “Or that little nod she does. A real laugh, like she truly feels it.”

You know. You store each peal of Tav’s laughter within you like a priceless treasure. You have beheld each occasion as a miracle, a fleeting glimpse behind the veil.

“It's a rare and beautiful sight.”

“It is.” Shadowheart holds your gaze. “And she only does it for you. Your awful puns, and what you think passes for witty observations. Your unnecessarily detailed anecdotes.”

Something is unfurling inside you. Fear and courage, swirling into something swollen that throbs with every pulse of your heart. You struggle to keep still. 

“Please just talk to her,” Shadowheart says. “Consider it a favour to me, so I don’t have to spend the rest of the night watching you drinking bad wine and pining miserably.”

You recoil. “Excuse me, but I don't pine. Pining is not something I do. In fact, I most certainly-”

“Yes, yes.” She rolls her eyes. “You don't pine, and Tav is an open book. You're both paragons of healthy communication.” She swigs her wine, pursing her pale lips in distaste. “I don't even know why you're still talking to me, at this point.” 

You huff. Turning slowly, your eyes seek Tav’s across the expanse. A strand of hair trails over her collarbone, caressing the peak of her breast. She dips her head gently towards you.

Who knows how long you have left?

You slap your knees, take a shaky breath, and rise.

******

“How does it compare?”

Her eyes are burnt almonds framed by butterfly lashes. The firelight draws out the sun-kissed olive of her skin. It has a warmth that burns within you even in her absence.  As you approach her, she bows slightly. 

You point upwards. “The celestial canvas,” you explain. “The real thing. How does it fare against my earnest imitation?”

You have never spoken of that night, not even to mention it in passing. After her retreat, you were too desperate to salvage whatever remained between you. Any bond with her, any friendship, was worth more than kingdoms, even if you could not win her love. 

But tonight, with Shadowheart's words reverberating in your mind, you feel brave. Reckless. Inexpressibly grateful. And now that you have come to the end of the road, what more do you have to lose? You may never see her again. This may be your last chance.

Something flickers on Tav’s face. You cannot quite place it. 

“The art reveals the artist, and the creation the creator, as you told me before.”

Her words are so soft, you must dip forward to catch them. The petals of her mouth curve into a smile.

“Nothing could rival the beauty of a night sky wrought by your hands.” 

You remember that conversation well, but you did not think she would. It was only one of hundreds you have shared. For a second, you let yourself indulge in the fantasy that she cherishes your words with the same passion and reverence with which you treasure hers. You let yourself imagine that her words carry an affection which mirrors your own. 

But Tav speaks in formalities, riddles and proverbs. Her true feelings remain, as always, a mystery.

You listen to the rhythm of her breathing. Though even, there is a laboured focus in her breaths, as though she is forcing her intention. You recall an evening when you had sat beside her for a lesson in meditation. You had been lost in her closeness, her earthy scent, the supple arcs of her relaxed form. 

‘In times of turmoil, we return to our breathing,” she had explained. ‘The breath is an anchor. A reminder that all is temporary. Every burden, every struggle, every blessing. All is dust, and all will pass.’

Does she seek relief from turmoil now, you wonder? What burden strains against her breathing? What load does she struggle to lay down?

She shuffles a little. You gesture towards a bench nearby. She drifts towards it, her hand grazing yours as you both sit. She does not shift away. 

“So.” You fiddle with the edge of your robe. “Where does your path lead now?” 

She looks towards the bonfire. “My duty will be to return to the Order in Neverwinter.”

“Your duty.”

She nods. “It is what is expected for a monk of my position.”

“I see.” You study the stillness of her features in profile, impassive as ever. “And is that your desire?” 

She turns towards you briefly, but does not meet your eyes. Her gaze returns to the sparkling canopy above, as if the distant stars steel her soul. 

“I have always seen the monastery as my home. I know it does not serve, to cling to the idea of a home. We must be adaptable to change, to move where the Way takes us. And on this journey we have shared, I have seen and learned more than I ever would, had I remained in the monastery. Immeasurably more.” 

She draws in a long breath.

“And I would be deceitful if I said that I would not…miss….this.”

Her focus falls on the living tapestry before you, swathed in the music of joy and celebration. Astarion's fanged grin, returned wryly by Shadowheart. Minsc’s booming guffaw as Boo twirls in his palm. Jaheira’s lively gestures to a chuckling Halsin.

It is unmistakable. For an instant, Tav’s mask slips, and you see sorrow, tender and true. You had wondered if she felt the pain of parting, having always kept herself at a distance. Now, you are certain that she does.   

Without thinking, you reach for her hand. Then you catch yourself. Your fingers hover above hers.

“It doesn’t have to be goodbye.” Your voice quavers. “It would be…a great loss to me, to lose the honour of your company. A very great loss indeed.”

Her brow steeples as she looks into your eyes. Then her features tremble, her hand jerking into her lap. You retract yours briskly. 

There is a long pause. It feels like a misstep, an intrusion. A boundary you have crossed, as you had when you bared your soul to her beneath your northern lights. Mentally, you curse yourself, fretting and fumbling for an escape. And yet, you cannot ignore the tension that hangs in the air between you. The murmur of something you do not recognise, peering out from the depths.

When she speaks, you do not expect it. 

“My Masters taught me to eschew attachment. Desire.” 

She halts at the word, as though it is an admission that shames her. 

“We are to alleviate suffering, wherever we find it. Desire and attachment do not serve…”

Her voice breaks. You have never heard that before. She has always been so sure, her speech always level and calculated, echoing her constancy. You are overwhelmed, not just by a yearning to understand, but to comfort.

“They are a distraction, then,” you say. “From your purpose.”

She averts her eyes. Her sigh is weary - a weariness that has always been subsumed by her stoic exterior.   

“Everything is temporary,” she breathes. “Nothing endures.”

She closes her eyes. You watch as she lifts her hands, turning her palms up towards the constellations. 

“We are taught to live with open hands. To let all things flow through us, and never to be tethered to the current. So it is with every privilege, every gift, every… person… that comes our way.”

She opens her eyes, staring into the space above her fingers. 

“If I do not grasp it tightly, when it goes, there is no pain.”

She balls her hands into fists.

“If I hold fast to it, when I lose it, I mourn.” 

Her brow knits.

“It does not serve.”

She looks down, her hands returning to rest on her thighs. 

“Attachment only brings loss. Desire only brings pain. Everything is temporary. Nothing endures.”

The realisation is a lightning bolt that pierces you. The answer to the puzzle of her detachment. The reason for her ceaseless distance. Why she has always held back from your merry band of companions, avoiding connections beyond superficial courtesy. You see it now, as clear and certain as her kindness. It is not just a habit, the preference of an introvert more comfortable with solitude than companionship. It is not just a setting aside of distractions for the pursuit of a grand purpose. 

It is a fear of loss. Abandonment. Grief.

All this time, she has been protecting herself. The revelation fills you with a desperate urgency. 

“Does desire always beget suffering?” There is pleading in your voice. “Can attachment not be a source of wonder, beauty, goodness?”

She is taken aback by your abruptness. In this moment, you wish you still had a tadpole, so you could show her without words. You wish you could reveal how your bond gave you a reason to live when you thought there was none. How she gave you hope when you thought the only meaning to be salvaged from your life was through your death. How she brought the dawn in what you believed was an endless night.

“Your friendship, your kindness - they kept us all alive,” you say instead. “Our attachments were a source of strength. They alleviated our suffering, they never compounded it.”

You know it would be easier not to love her. If you had no attachment to her. You would not yearn for her like a lost part of yourself. There would be no agony of wanting, no suffering within your solitude. But then you would not know the wonder of her nature. The light of her laughter. The balm of her goodness and grace, unwavering as the sunrise. You would not trade them for anything, not even freedom from pain.

She is quiet, her head bowed. An ebony curtain falls around her face. You know the weight of what you are asking her to consider. But you cannot bear to see unnecessary suffering, especially not in the woman you cherish above any other.

“Is it actually possible?” you ask. “To never forge a bond with another? To remain…forever empty-handed?”

Determination hardens in her eyes as she lifts her head. 

“It is a path. I strive to reach the destination. It is a great struggle. A journey without end.” She straightens, her frame tensing. “Perhaps I am too weak and wretched to achieve it. But I must make myself worthy. Every day, I try harder.”

You stare at her in disbelief. “You are the kindest, wisest, most patient person that I know. You give of yourself without asking anything in return. You saved the world,” you gesture to your bustling companions within the throng, “each and every one of us.”

When you try to hold her shifting gaze, all you see is doubt.

“You don’t see it, do you?” You resist the urge to clasp her by the shoulders. “You’re extraordinary, just the way you are.”

She shakes her head. “I am like any other soul on the Path to Enlightenment.” 

You do not allow her to avert her eyes. “No, Tav. You're much, much more than that.”

“Gale.” Her brow creases. “There are many, many more important things to consider than…my own selfish doubts and desires.”

You can see the mask returning to her features. That impenetrable fortress of sagely Tav, a vessel of virtue without self. You have come too far to return to the facade now. 

“What of your own suffering?”

Confusion twists in her face. But the truth is a tide that rushes from you, and you cannot stop it.

“What of the joy you forfeit as you watch from the sidelines? The loneliness you carry as you stand apart, shirking companionship? Denying your own desires, crushing your attachments - surely that begets a suffering of its own?”

She turns away. Anxiety flares within you. Perhaps you have gone too far. It is too much for her. You begin to wrench at yourself. You have pushed her back into her shell, an armour against hurts that you will never know. In your folly and impatience, you have lost her.  In the silence, you mourn.

And then, a confession.

“My parents gave me to the Masters when I was a babe,” she whispers. “The Way is all I know. All I have.”

You spin towards her. The torment of memory lingers in every fibre of her frame. You understand her in a way you never have before. She is a woman without a family, forever apart. She is a door cracking open now, allowing you entry.  You leap through it.

“Not so.” You lean towards her. “You have me.”

Fear roils in the black sea of her eyes. You know what you are asking. You are asking her to trust in a love that could endure the vicissitudes of life, the foibles of human lack, the everyday tragedies from which no one is spared. You are asking her to lay down every tool she has wielded, every defence she has erected against the loss that trails behind her like a shadow. 

You are asking her to trust you.

“I know I speak out of turn.” Your voice swells. “I know you’ve made it clear that there’s no place for me in your heart. But I can’t remain silent, after all we’ve been through, knowing there’s any inkling of a chance that I might not lose you forever. I can’t remain silent, when there’s a chance that I could relieve you of the burdens that you carry alone.”

She is shaking now. You can almost feel the reverberations. But she is still here, still listening. It gives you strength to go on.

“I cherish you, Tav. It's beyond desire. Beyond attachment. More than admiration, infatuation, or lust. I love you, more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything. To me, you’re perfect. There’s no one like you. There never has been, and never will be.”

You can hear a catch in her breathing. She has frozen still, so still, as if she would crack if you touched her. Your words are broken and tattered, but you do not stop.

“I can’t promise that I won’t age or die. That I won’t change, as everyone and everything in life does. But I promise that I will love you for as long as I draw breath. I promise that my love for you will endure. And I promise to walk the Way with you. I will never abandon you. You need not walk alone.”

Her eyes widen as she clasps her palm to her lips. You hold your heart out like an offering before her open hands. Your chest heaves as you wait, trying desperately to parse her silence. 

She turns away, lurching upwards, retreating into the night.

Her withdrawal wounds you like a blade to the gut. A muffled cry escapes you as you watch her receding back. 

It is over. 

The tears scald your skin as they fall. You wince through the rending of your heart. But amidst the fracturing, waves of gratitude ripple through you. To have beheld the glory of her, to have earnestly loved her in the stolen moments you shared, however fleeting - it was the privilege of a lifetime. An honour which will endure beyond the anguish of love’s passing. You are sure of it.

It takes you a moment to register it. She has stopped in her tracks. Her body, usually as elegant as the wind’s caress, judders as she turns back to face you. Through the mist of your grief, you see that her eyes are glistening with tears. You bound towards her, distressed beyond measure. It is the first time you have seen her cry.

She does not speak. In the waterfall that cascades down her scarred cheek, the throbbing ache in her gaze, you see an emotion that needs no words.

You surge forwards. You are so close that you can smell the jasmine notes of her hair, feel the spasm of her breath against your collarbone. You take her quivering hands and press them against your beard. Her eyelids flutter, but she does not pull away. You whirl with surprise, relief, elation, yearning - a thousand feelings you can name and more that you cannot.

“I have tried,” she chokes. “With everything I have…for so long I have tried. But I could not…”

Her words are torn whispers, panting breaths. Her fingers grasp at your bristles, dancing into your hair. Her touch is dizzying, lithe and earnest, tracing every part of you. You draw your fingers up the dip of her neck, cupping her cheeks as you have longed to so many times before.

“You don’t need to anymore.” 

Her skin feels as you have always imagined it - firm, smooth and warm. As you brush her tears away, she falls into you, and you catch her parted lips with your own. Her mouth is wet and hot, and she tastes of spring flowers and salt musk. You gasp at the pulse of her tongue, the hard heat of her body flush against yours. Her desire rips through you as keenly as your own, a whirlpool of love and longing which holds you fast.

She is everything you ever dreamed of and more.

You are not sure how long you remain wrapped up in each other, clutching, tasting, searching and finding. Hoots and hollers begin to reach your ears, familiar voices, teasing and congratulatory. You tear away from each other, foreheads pressed together, swaying breathlessly in a stupor. With her crimson cheeks and half-lidded eyes, her lips swollen from desire, it takes all the resolve within you not to whisk her away to your bedroom. 

You must steady yourself. You know that you must tread slowly. Love is a brave new world for her, and there are a thousand nights ahead of you.

“There’s a monastery in Waterdeep,” you say eventually.

Through halting breaths, she struggles for words. It is intoxicating, to see Tav’s unyielding stoicism dissolve into her need for you. You have never felt so powerful. You plant a trail of kisses from her forehead to her chin. She nibbles at your earlobe, nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

“The Monastery of The Sun,” she murmurs after a while. “Notorious for heresy. I have always wanted to see whether the controversy is well-founded.”

You take her hands in yours. You swallow, the last remnants of apprehension churning within you.

“Would you return with me to…”

She looks at you, wide-eyed and curious as always. A smile breaks on your lips. You know, then, that there is nothing more to fear.

“Would you allow me to take you there?” 

In your tumultuous life, you have seen many things. You have beheld the singular beauty of the Outer Plains, the unparalleled majesties of your home city, manifold vistas of nature’s bounty. But nothing compares to what you see before you now. 

Joy, plain and pure, beams in every line and curve of Tav’s features. A chord of laughter bursts from her, crisp as birdsong. She radiates with love. 

She kisses your hands, then cradles them against her heart. 

“Nothing would give me greater pleasure.”  *****

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[deconstructivesurgery]

listen i haven't posted seriously in long-form about bg3 in a hot minute but i've been getting back into it bit by bit and i'm still on my gale and astarion shit.

not the "they hate each other but they love each other" stuff or the "toxic yaoi" (although it is funny to me sometimes) dynamic people seem to typically slap onto them, but rather just- whether you wish to see it in a romantic light or not- the pure potential for a true bitchy wine aunt relationship that lies there.

not only do i think they genuinely like each other in a surprisingly uncomplicated way at times despite how complicated both of them are personally, i will die on the hill of them just being... a bit snobbish together. bitching about wine or food that astarion can't even taste (won't stop him from insulting something based on look alone), reading and reviewing books together, perpetually remaining pretentious about architecture and style in distinctly different ways (grand and gothic versus the absolute hullabaloo of softer maximalism that i can see gale enjoying).

i can see in their good endings an outcome where once in a blue moon a vaguely irritable Newly Minted Adventurer/Locally Morally Dubious Hero Astarion Ancunin occasionally manifests his merry little self at one Prof. Gale Dekarios' door because what IS he there for if not to serve as a free-to-access resource of magical aid anytime he encounters some sort of odd curse or magical foe or what-have-you that he isn't well-versed in. who else is going to gleefully and without question provide him with enchanted weapons that most people would look at with concern. to boot, who else is going to provide said things while also being a good conversation partner.

if he happens to dredge up odd magical shit once in a while while he's romping around the country and drops it off at gale's doorstep (chance of spontaneous combustion, mad howling emanating from a haunted amulet, etc. be damned) every so often, it's only fair.

people love the drama that comes with a less stable outcome to their relationship, and that's entirely fair if that's the dynamic that you prefer out of these characters, but i think the potential for just genuine non-spiteful banter and connection is often overlooked. i think, at very least, that they could and should be good lasting friends. send tweet

[redlittlefoxari]

Astarion Epilogue An Adventure in Making Life: Chapter Ten: Little White Dress

Relationship: Astarion X Tav

Warnings: NSFW 18+, smut, blood, violence, sex, blood drinking, pregnancy.

Summary: All hell breaks lose as Tav and Astarion share with the rest of the party that you are expecting.

~~~~This Chapter contains Smut~~~~

Master List

People who wished to be tagged: @ofmyth-andmagicart @lunaredgrave @littlekidsteve @omnia--mea-mecum-porto @ayselluna @myreadingmanga123 @kismet-of-the-divine @nicalysm @justlilpeaches21

If you want to be tagged in future updates, send me a message.

Twelve weeks pregnant

“I knew it! I knew something was up with the two of you!” Shadowheart was practically out of her seat as she spoke. “I just didn’t know it was his. I thought the two of you just got a segregate or something.” 

“We're going to be an aunt and Uncle Wyll, isn’t it amazing!” Karlach released the hold she had on herself and let her excitement spring free. Shaking Wyll like he was a rag doll. 

“Yes, that is amazing, Karlach dear, but could you stop shaking me? I fear I’m going to be sick.” At his words, Karlach stopped shaking him, and he placed one hand on the table and one on his stomach to try and stop the room from spinning. 

“That…That’s amazing, you two.” Gale looked positively shocked. “I just have a few questions, if you don’t mind.” The others nodded in unison. 

After what seemed like hours of being questioned by your friends, the food was finally served. Gale had spared no expense for the meal, crafting each dish so that everyone had what they wanted and what they would enjoy the most. You sliced into a relatively rare steak and watched as the red blood covered your plate, causing you to salivate. Your pregnancy cravings had two settings, sweet and bloody; there was no in-between. 

When you took a rather large bite, Gale started to ask more questions. He was always searching for knowledge, and the topic of vampire children was something that was yet to be covered majorly. It felt like he was entirely too interested and asking far too many questions so he could publish a book on the topic and be credited as the one who found out how it was done. 

“Tell me again, how exactly did you manage this astounding feat?” Gale had a large glass of red wine beside him and began slicing into his own dinner that you had no doubt paired nicely with his steak. 

“When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they…” Astarion spoke for you while your mouth was full of meat and blood. 

“Asatrion, I know how sex works. What I want to know is how her fey blood allowed your seed to impregnate her.” Gale looked at Astarion, not too pleased to be getting a talking to about the birds and the bees. 

“We don’t know, maybe since he’s also technically still a high elf, my ovaries allowed it.”  You said after you swallowed your mouth full of steak. “What we do know is I’m pregnant, it's his, and I’m a walking miracle.” 

“I can see why you kept this a secret. There’s no telling what would happen if people found out what you were carrying.”Glae took a small bite of his food. 

“What do you mean?” You placed your knife and fork on your plate. 

“I only mean that vampires aren’t people's cup of tea usually. And there's a reason why there is not a lot of knowledge about half vampire half humanoid children….” Gale hesitated, not wanting to go on.

“And why is that?” Astarion stared at Gale, a challenge in them. 

“They’re hailed as being unholy abominations and killed…” Gale looked down at his plate, not wanting to meet yours or Astarion’s eyes. 

“We won’t let that happen! Aunty K and Uncle Wyll will not let that happen.” Karlach slammed her fist on the table. 

“No, we will not.” Wyll echoed his wife's sentiment. “We will just have to keep the fact that they are Half-vampires a secret. How is it that people normally find out the parentage?” 

“Other vampires, usually it’s almost as if they can smell it.” They all looked at Astarion. 

“We can. There’s a particular odor that goes with the undead. I hide mine because I can’t stand the smell.” Astarion looked at you, noting the color that had drained from your face. “We can do the same for our child, dear.” 

You reached for Astarion’s hand under the table, and he did the same. This opened up a whole new fear. Maybe if you moved out of the city, that would lessen your chances of being discovered. Though, as far as you knew, the last vampire to grace the city was Cazador, and since then, it had just been Astarion these last fifty years. He never mentioned smelling another vampire. 

“There hasn’t been another vampire in Baldur’s gate since Cazador… right?” You looked at Astarion. 

“No, I don’t know why usually there is always a vampire lord in a large city. Maybe they are afraid after what happened to the last one.” You saw his eyes glaze over, going a thousand realms away, and squeezed slightly. He returned the squeeze, gently glancing at you sideways and sending you a small smile. 

“What about the rest of the population?” Shadowheart spoke up. “Are they going to be a threat?”

“Astarion walks around, and normal people can’t tell he’s a vampire… Well, unless they look at his teeth.” Gale said as he tilted his head.

Astarion flashed him his best shit-eating grin.”It took you all days before you realized, and it was only because this one woke up and caught me.” He gestured towards you.

“Then we should be fine. They probably won’t have long fangs like Astarion, and we’ll teach them not to go around biting people unless they deserve it.” You picked up your glass of blood and blueberry juice and took a long swallow. The blood and juice mixture coating your tongue and filled your belly.

“I should have known you weren’t drinking wine this whole time.” Shadowheart picked up her own glass. “I can smell the blood from here.” 

“Yeah, all the signs were there, but at the time, none of you knew Astarion had it in him to knock me up.” You smiled at Astarion as he glared at you. 

“I was always more than capable. I just didn’t know I could, and if I did, I would have been trying a lot harder to do so all these years.”  He pulled your hand to his lips and kissed the ring that he had placed on your finger earlier that day. 

You felt your face grow hot as you thought about all the ways he would prove that to be true. Every night, a different position, and every night, you would scream his name in ecstasy. Astarion could sense your arousal and mouthed one word in response. Later. 

“You two are disgusting.” Shadowheart took a long drink of her wine.

“And you’re just jealous you don’t have someone to make love to.” Astarion’s eyes didn’t break from yours. “This child will be loved and protected. I can promise you that no one will harm them or you for as long as I still draw breath.”

“Fuck.” You cursed as his decoration of love and devotion to you and your child only stoked the fire growing in you more.

The others looked away, looking as if they wanted to be anywhere but where they were now. 

“If the two of you are going to…. I gave you a private room for a reason… Please use it.” Gale pushed his plate away. 

“Oh, we’ve already broken in the room, Gale.” Astarion stood up slowly. “One thing you can write about if you are going to publish a book about vampire humanoid babies is that the hormones the mate gives off are simply irresistible.” 

“Don’t call me your mate; that's creepy and weird.” You stood along with him. “We’re not animals.” 

“No but we Certainly act like we are in heat.” 

Astarion extended his hand to you, and taking it, he led you towards the stairs. You twisted your fingers in with his, creating a weave that even Mystra couldn’t untangle. The hormones racing through you felt as if someone had placed a lust curse on you. Every inch of you buzzed with the need to have Astarion touch you, taste you and have him fill you. 

“See you all in the morning. Don’t wait up.” Astarion said as he moved up the stairs towards your room. 

You and Astarion made your way toward the room that neither one of you would be leaving the rest of the night. Reaching the stairs, you slowly made your accent, the wetness between your legs growing slicker as you thought about everything you wanted him to do to you. Astarion looked at you sidelong, and you saw that he was doing the same. You peered down to see his length straining against his pants. 

“Don’t you wish you could not wear pants to Astarion?” You turned your focus back to traversing the stairs, your legs growing weak from your thoughts. 

“I’m not sure the others would have liked me coming down for dinner in nothing but what the gods gave me.” He said as you made it to the top of the stairs just down the hall from your room. 

“Probably not.” You turned the corner, now entirely out of sight from the others. “But maybe n…”

You were cut off as Astarion pinned you against the wall, his body flush against yours. his erection pushing into you. You moaned as his lips collided with yours, and his tongue entered your mouth. doing a full sweep of the area before pulling out and biting your lower lip. He let go and looked at you hungrily.

“Gods, you smell delicious, my love.” His teeth moved down to your neck but paused just short of taking a bite. “And you tasted divine earlier.”

You could feel his fangs on your neck just above your skin, primed and ready to sink in if only you asked. You turned your head to the side to give him a better angle. He still hesitated. His hot breath came out in short bursts on your neck, and you could sense his animalistic need to feed. 

“Is it because you bit me earlier? Is that why you won’t bite me now.” You pulled back, no longer feeling his teeth or breath on your neck. Placing your hand on the side of his face, you forced him to look at you. His eyes were dilated. “What if I feed from you first?” 

“That would work.” He turned his neck towards you, giving you the left side of his neck. The one you bit a few weeks prior. 

“Not out here.” You grabbed his hand once again and led him to your room, shutting the door behind you and locking it. 

Astarion stood in the middle of the room, looking at you in anticipation. You stared back at him, not knowing what to do. The last time, it was rough and full of need. This time, you wanted it to be a little different. 

You pulled off your dress, exposing your body to him, not breaking eye contact, but for the split moment, the gown went over your eyes. Astarion drank you in, looking up and down as he took in your naked form. He moved to touch you, and you put your hand up. 

“You too, Astarion. Get naked.”

Astarion gave you a cheeky smile as he pulled off his doublet, then his shirt, boots, and then his pants, making sure that they would be last. His length sprang free, and you felt yourself grow even hotter as you drank in his form. He did an added spin for good measure, letting you see all of him. 

“If our child has half of both our good looks, then they’re going to have an easy life.”Astarion’s fingers shook as he spoke. He longed to touch you but waited for you all the same. 

“Sit down on the bed, Astarion.” He did as you asked. 

You walked over and sat on his lap, your button sitting between his legs so that both your legs were hanging over his right leg. You kissed just under his left jawline, and you felt his length stiffen more as it sat against your leg. You trailed light kisses down to his neck just by his jugular, paying extra attention to that area. 

“Are you teasing me, or have you lost your nerve to bite me?” Astarion sounded out of breath. 

“Patients Astarion.” You placed your teeth on his skin like had done to you earlier when he was fighting his instincts to bite you. “Good things come to those who wait.”

At that, you sunk your teeth in, breaking the skin and feeling his hot blood enter your mouth. He flung his head back and moaned as your tongue probed and sucked the holes you made in his skin. You sucked until you couldn’t taste his blood anymore on your tongue, pulling away from his skin with a pop.

Astarion moved his head to look at you. This was only the second time you had bitten him, and from the look on his face, it would not be the last. He grabbed and twisted you so that you now laid on the bed with your legs between his and them hanging slightly off the bed. He placed a hard, needy kiss against your lips and slid his tongue into your mouth once more. 

“The taste of me on your tongue is something I want to taste every day, my love.” He broke the kiss. “And it’s time I returned the favor. 

He moved to your neck, wasting no time as he sunk his fangs into your skin. You gasped, Since being pregnant, this is one thing that you missed the most. The feeling of his fangs in you as he sucked blood from your veins was simply erotic, and you could see why there were so many erotic novels about vampires. 

You reached your hand down to find his hard length, taking it in your hand and pumping it slowly. Astarion moaned into your neck as he sucked more of your blood out and into him. You wrapped your legs around his waist and used your hand to place him at your entrance. Arching your hips slightly, he slid into you, and Astarion gasped, pulling away from your neck. 

“Don’t stop.” You said as you angled your neck to give him a better angle. “Feed and Fuck Astarion.”

“Gods, I love you.” 

Astarion’s fangs sunk back into your neck and, as he did, started a slow, lazy thrust of his hips in and out of you. The feeling of his fangs in you, taking your blood, and the feeling of his length taking his pleasure sent you close to the edge. You moaned his name as his slow, lazy thrusts turned into harder, needier thrusts. 

He pulled his fangs from your neck, not waiting to drink too much, just taking as much as you took from him. Astarion hooked his hands under your knees, allowing you to rest them as he thrusted into you harder. Pulling almost entirely out before slamming back into you. You moved your hand to your now swollen and sensitive clit, rubbing circles and allowing your climax to grow faster. 

You looked at the holes you made in his neck and thought about the hole in yours that would match the thought pushing you over the edge of your climax. As you moaned, his name Astarion soon followed after the mix of you tightening around him and his name on your lips being too much for him to contain himself. You felt him fill you fully as he still thrusted his length inside you, milking his own orgasm to completion. 

“We should definitely get into the practice of trying to make children,” Astarion said as he leaned down to kiss you. “I have never seen you so aroused.” 

He placed a hard kiss on your lips. “I agree; how many do you want? three ? four?Though it took us fifty years to conceive this one.”

This child was a miracle in itself; truth be told, you weren’t sure Astarion and yourself could handle more than one child. Let alone this one. 

“True.“ He was grinning ear to ear. “But we can sure try.”

[krikeymate]

What if I just throw out some stupid headcanons based on absolutely nothing ?

Kirby likes to fish

Sam meditates

Tara chews on her fingers when she's nervous

Chad was actually really bad at football

Mindy has a Werewolf phobia

Gale doesn't actually drink alcohol

[bloodycyrano]

TEAM TADPOLE AT THE TAVERN. LETS GO.

Karlach: Currently drinking a very buff, burly dwarven man under the table. There's a betting pool going on who will win, and Astarion's already rigged it in his favor- nevermind the fact that Karlach could drink an elephant under the table anyways.- Had to help carry Gale and Shadowheart home after they had drank too much.

Wyll: Enjoying the music, enjoying a bit of wine. He has also broken up and prevented about 4 bar fights so far.

Shadowheart: Embracing her inner wine aunt. Maybe she doesn't socialize a whole lot, but she does enjoy some conversation with her closer comrades. She does get a bit more sociable when intoxicated, however, and talks *so much* shit about people in elvish.

Astarion: Has caught the eye of several other people at the bar. He has a naturally flirtatious energy about him- (It's called trauma) -And whether it's people somewhat recognizing him from him luring victims in the past, or genuine attraction, Astarion is a little uncomfortable with some of the unwanted attention. And now that he's free, he isn't afraid to voice it, either. He's also pickpocketed several of the bar patrons so far.

Durge: On edge, and extremely irritated. They've reluctantly grown attached to all of their companions, but Astarion especially (I can't help it, I romance Astarion in every playthrough). Being a child of Bhaal, denounced or not, violence is quite literally in their blood, and they are 100% ready to deck the shit out of someone should they need to- As an avid enjoyer of divorced dad rock, I feel like the vibes are very "Next contestant" by nickelback.

Gale: Started with talis card readings for random bar patrons, and is now very drunk, and spewing weird facts that literally nobody else asked about - Such is the curse of sad Autistic wizards. This is, however, one of the very few instances in which Durge enjoys conversation with Gale. Info dumping about special interests can be more fun when part of a drinking game.

Lae'zel: Mostly keeping to herself. She can handle a lot of alcohol, but she doesn't feel the need to drink excessively. She's not exactly having fun, but she is content. She tried to get in a bar fight at one point, but much to her dismay, Wyll put it to a screeching halt.

Honorable mention, Withers: Is the parent everyone calls when they're too drunk to get home correctly.

Outcome overall: It was a fun outing until Durge started a drunken barroom brawl, and everyone had to get involved. They are now banned from this tavern, and owe some money to cover the damages- Except for Wyll. Wyll made friends with the Barkeep, and got invited to their family gathering next Tuesday.

[fandomchokehold]

Musical Songs I Think The Boys™ Would Do a Burlesque Number To

*obviously these are only ones I've listened to, I wasn't a theater kid and don't really know much about plays and musicals, please don't be weird or mean in the notes 😭 and YES as a huge ABBA fan I know all the songs in Mamma Mia are just ABBA songs*

also this is way longer than I intended so there's more under the cut

Solos

Astarion - "Sweet Transvestite" from Rocky Horror Picture Show

this one is pretty obvious and expected but like !!! yeah !!! that's just him !!! he'd do the full routine, coming up in the elevator, throwing the cloak off to reveal the slutty lil outfit he has on underneath, throwing his drink at the audience while Gale Brad is talking, lounging on the throne, and then leaving mysteriously in the elevator OH BABY !!!

Wyll - "Land of Lola" from Kinky Boots

he would absolutely slay this routine, the lyrics are practically about him - "with arms as hard as steel" "with the moves of Fred Astaire" "I'm black jesus, I'm black mary, but this mary's legs are hairy" ??? I need this man to absolutely let loose and I NEED to see him in those cunty thigh high boots 👏 RED 👏 IS 👏 HIS 👏 COLOR !!!!

Gale - "Toucha Toucha Touch Me" from Rocky Horror Picture Show

I honestly just think he'd be really good at playing the part of the "innocent shy reserved man who does a complete 180 after being exposed to pure unbridled sexuality"; we all know he's not actually like that it's fully an act because he knows he has the looks of a tired english professor but the soul of a whore I just- you don't know how badly I need to see him doing a slightly desperate unhinged strip tease on stage on a garrish four poster bed OKAY ?!?!

Halsin - "Toxic Love" from Ferngully

I need him in his pretend villain era, I think he'd be cartoony like if he's gonna work a stage he's gonna werk a stage m'kay; he is actually using this performance to raise awareness about the climate crisis and donate the money he makes towards more accessible clean energy and environmental conservation efforts and would love to provide more info and resources while still in his g-string to all interested parties in the lobby of the venue

Duets

Astarion & Gale - "Planet Schmanet Janet" from Rocky Horror Picture Show

Astarion as Dr. Frank N. Furter, Gale as Janet; we all know this is a trademark Astarion ruse to get to chase a scantily clad Gale around menacingly and torment him in front of an audience, I mean c'mon who wouldn't want to do that 👀

Astarion & Wyll - "Does Your Mother Know?" from Mamma Mia

Astarion as Tanya, Wyll as Pepper (I had to look that up apparently his name is Pepper); I feel like Astarion would identify with Tanya on a spiritual level, they're both wine aunt cougars who love luxury, and after seeing that Wyllstarion interaction where they flirtatiously talk about their age gap this song just really is about them huh

Astarion & Halsin - "I Can Make You a Man" + "I Can Make You a Man (Reprise)" from Rocky Horror Picture Show

Astarion as Dr. Frank N. Furter, Halsin as Rocky; tbh this is just so Astarion can show off the "bounty of nature's gifts" that have been bestowed upon him and Halsin just finds how this twink is climbing him and swinging on his outstretched arm like a jungle gym too amusing to not participate

Gale & Wyll - "Horny Angry Tango" from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

either of them in either role; this is purely for the theatrics and to show off their actual ballroom dance skills, Gale is going to be the one getting dipped though

Gale & Halsin - "La Seine" from A Monster In Paris

Gale as Lucille, Halsin as Francoeur; I can't lie it's purely for the height difference that's totally canon and I didn't make up in my head, the contrast between Gale "Lil 5'8" Wizard" Dekarios and Halsin "The 6'5" Bear" Silverbough is just *chef kiss* 👌

Wyll & Halsin - "Lay All Your Love On Me" from Mamma Mia

either of them in either role; they're lowkey almost fucking on stage, Wyll chose it for the drama and Halsin went along for the overtly sexual choreography

Group Numbers

"Lady Marmalade" from Moulin Rouge

Astarion's favorite and Halsin's least favorite for the same reason: it's extremely flashy and dramatic

"Rose Tint My World" which transitions into "Don't Dream It" from Rocky Horror Picture Show

Astarion as Janet for "RTMW" but Frank for "DDI", Wyll as Columbia, Halsin as Rocky, Gale as Brad, with special guest Elminster as Dr. Scott during "Don't Dream It"

"Haus of Holbein" from SIX

tbh I don't have an explanation for this one I've really only listened to the corsets part and think it's kinda cunt, idk they'd all slay in corsets

"Big Spender" from Sweet Charity

ok just imagine any of them doing Fosse choreography

"Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)" from Mamma Mia

ok just imagine there's stripper poles-

"Cell Block Tango" from Chicago

with special guests Minsc and Volo; no one knows how they got here, Minsc is a bit too uncoordinated but he's got the spirit and Volo was recording everything from the audience for research purposes but saw they were short a character and thought to himself "what better way to learn than through participation?"