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readerinsertfanfiction · 4 years ago

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Hello, dearest Nemo. Inspired by a matter you're probably aware of, here I come, to ask you for certain opinion, although perhaps in form of HeadCanons... Let's say we have Ghibli Movies and the Warlords. Which movie would be each warlord's favourite? What do you think?

Ooooh, lil'Lorei remembers my obsession with Studio Ghibli movies, I see. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

Fandom: Ikemen Sengoku

Characters: All - Kanetsugu because idk I can’t find shit on him only that he is a tsun.

Prompt: The warlords and studio Ghibli movies. Disclaimer: I only listed the movies I have watched, which is a fair amount but by no means all.

To sit on the couch with a Sengoku warlord felt strange. No, it was definitely weird! All the more so when you put up a Studio Ghibli movie. Just any, because you felt like it. Little did you know that the warlord would take so well to it. He had been rather apprehensive at first, after all, moving pictures and that strange sound? But after a while the movies won him over. After all, who could resist the peaceful charm of Studio Ghibli, dreaming away at the romance of everyday life set in a beautiful landscape far away from all worry and chaos?

Nobunaga Oda: Spirited away

“The soot sprites have good taste,” the Oda leader pronounced, a proud smile etched on his face as he enjoyed the movie playing. On the screen the little black balls could be seen carrying off the konpeito, dancing around the little girl that had just lost her name to Yubaba, a move that Nobunaga had heartily laughed at. “I should consider doing this myself,” he had exclaimed, eyes glistening in mischief, “but I would rename them,” and to this remark you could only feel yourself sweatdrop, recalling the animal-inspired nicknames he tended to give his vassals.

Ieyasu Tokugawa: When Marnie was there

Something about the movie triggered something within him. The themes of loneliness, and constantly being moved around, but most of all, the trope of a found family and the concept of home. They resonated with his own childhood that he had resented so much. The past in which he was treated kindly, but also at times cruelly. All of these stories consolidated into one movie and two girls. “Marnie was weak,” he would later say, “good for Anna,” was his end review, but you could see the tears in the corner of his eyes. The movie had touched him.

Hideyoshi Toyotomi: Tales from Earthsea

A story of guilt and servitude? Prince Arren and the shadow that chases him? An inner fear, but yet a strong resolve to sacrifice all to reach ones goal? Hideyoshi is sold. The promise in the end is what gives that extra edge needed as Hideyoshi is weeping at the end of it all. “I will return to you, lord Nobunaga. I will repay all of my sins!” he wails and you know that he means it. Strangely enough, you have a feeling that Nobunaga would like the concept of ‘True Name’

Masamune Date: The wind rises

The story of a young boy whose dreams are shattered because of his weaknesses and then overcoming them? That’s his boy! Masamune has been cheering Jiro on since the opening of the movie and never stopped. Not until halfway through the movie and a frown settles on his face until the man has to gulp audibly to keep himself in check. All that chasing after a dream and the sacrifices made. It definitely hits a snare with the man who is quiet after the movie. He will need a cuddle or two.

Mitsuhide Akechi: Kiki’s delivery service

“There is just something about watching a little mouse grow up, isn’t there?” Mitsuhide teases with that lilting smile of his ever-present. But between the affectionate nickname and watching the movie there is something wistful about the man who sees the peaceful coming-of-age and finding identity and inspiration for live and passion within the little girl on her broom. He doesn’t say it, but he hopes that children in the future can grow up in such peace as Kiki does, able to adventure and a home to return to.

Kyubei: Whisper of the heart

Two kids chasing after their dreams, one set and the other just learning about it and a very capable cat that guides them. Kyubei enjoys the relationship that develops and the romance that comes with it, finding the fantasy element adorable. “I have a favourite person as well,” he tells you later with a mystifying smile, referring to the poster advertising the movie. A favourite person and a dream, he realises, which he hadn’t before.

Mitsunari Ishida: The secret world of Arrietty

“How very inventive!” the man constantly exclaims as he watches the little Arrietty move around in the garden. When she is fighting off bugs her own size Mitsunari clasps his hands together, as he rattles off on the many efficiencies they can make use of the bugs and employ the garden and the doll house. In the end Mitsunari feels only a little sad about Arrietty’s departure, though he has all faith that the friends will meet again, “is there a sequel,” he asks you for that, eager and beaming.

Keiji Maeda: Howl’s moving castle

Of course Howl’s theatrical ways are what enraptured the man at first, accompanied with Sophie’s determination and go-getters attitude. “That is no dull woman!” he exclaims happily as he watches the older sister fall to the curse cast by the witch. And though it is only vaguely implied Keiji comes to understand that it was something about the heart, just as Howl transforms because of his own heart. ‘A heart is a heavy burden.’ Sophie’s line catches him and Keiji agrees that Sophie’s hair is like starlight. He turns to you, however and tells you that you’re his starlight.

Ranmaru Mori: The cat returns

The cats, Baron the gentleman cat that just looks super cook and a whole slew of shenanigans about to happen. Secretly Ranmaru sees Kennyo in Baron, dreaming away watching his master be the cool hero that he was always meant to be. A little mysterious, totally awesome and can kick ass. Yes, that’s his favourite person!

Kennyo: My neighbour Totoro

There is something homely about the strange giant figure with its creepy smile and silent gestures. In fact, the whole movie endears the man. Two girls surrounded by the beauty of nature, growing up in peace and afraid of soot, catbus riding them to their mother. Kennyo can’t help but smile at the outrageousness of it all, finding it all very endearing. Secretly he thinks himself as Totoro, hiding in the forests and watching over the innocents.

Kenshin Uesugi: Princess Mononoke

A story about rulership, about how humanity ruins life eventually, about destruction and a lot of fighting. Kenshin loves it, especially for the last part. But as a former monk himself with a good appreciation for the gods and nature Kenshin relates to lady Eboshi who is willing to fight all if it means keeping her people safe and San, who fights to protect what she holds dear. He understands that and he relates to that.

Shingen Takeda: The tale of the princess Kaguya

A classic he is familiar with turned into an animation he has never experienced! Shingen loves it. Though he has to admit that he likes the story versions better he has a good appreciation for the artistry and the interpretation of the story, along with the pain of forgetting and leaving.

Yukimura Sanada: Porco Rosso

His favourite nickname turned into a character! Yukimura was flabbergasted at first, but then he came to understand that this was a spell of sorts, just as the movie itself was a trick of magic called science. But alas, that’s not why Yukimura was so in awe with the movie, it was the cool zeal in which the main character flies for his convictions. And somewhere deep down, though he will never admit such, the main character reminds him of Shingen.

Sasuke Sarutobi: Grave of the fireflies

Ah, the classic on which a whole generation was cruelly introduced to Studio Ghibli’s magic, the movie that started it all and above all: made everyone cry. Some may find him a bit of a weirdo to choose this as his favourite movie, after all it is such a sad movie. But it is the history, the message behind it, the themes dealt with and at last the pain and love of the siblings bereft by war. Sasuke’s heart is beaming just at the thought of the entire movie as his eyes start to tear up, dryly.

Kichou: Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind

There is no movie that quite agrees with him that the world is set out for doom than Nausicaä. The world is destroyed by humanity in a war, humans are still at war, but not only amongst each other for their greed but also with nature. Nature is trying to kill them for the sins committed by man. It all comes together and shows how the blight of this world truly is men and how the future that you come from is just an illusionary peace.

Yoshimoto Imagawa: Ocean Waves

Modern life poured into an artistic expression of young love. There is nothing quite more artistic than that in Yoshimoto’s opinion. The art is pretty, the story is enjoyable and not too riddled with all ugly traits and reminders of chaos and war and he gets to observe the modern world and its beauty a little more. Yes, Yoshimoto is indeed trying to forget about all the ugliness back in the Sengoku.

Motonari Mouri: Castle in the sky

Sky pirates, raiding a precious city, chaos overall and a booming ending? Sign him up. Motonari doesn’t really care for the main characters, finding them too sweet and innocent, but he has noticed that this is an overall trend within Studio Ghibli movies. Do, tell him more about the sky pirates, however and he definitely needs one of those flying machines.

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen #ikesen headcanons #ikesen nobunaga #ikesen masamune #ikesen ieyasu #ikesen mitsuhide #ikesen hideyoshi #ikesen mitsunari #ikesen keiji #ikesen yukimura #ikesen shingen #ikesen kenshin #ikesen kennyo #ikesen sasuke #ikesen ranmaru #ikesen yoshimoto #ikesen motonari #ikesen kichou

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yaboylevi · 4 years ago

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“Let’s talk!”

In this post, I’d like to examine why the words chosen to sway and stop Eren in chapter 133 didn’t resonate with some readers, as well as with Eren.

Disclaimer #1: This isn’t a justification of any kind. I merely tried to look in a critical way at the individual parts, because while reading them, I felt a disconnect with what the 104th thought could get to Eren. As I read, it felt obvious that what they were saying wasn’t gonna work. So I asked myself, Is Isayama such a bad writer that all his characters say is so obviously inappropriate or ineffective, or is this on purpose? (I still don’t know the answer)

Disclaimer #2: I realize that the 104th was suddenly brought in front of “Eren”, so they were surprised, and didn’t have time to sort through their reasonings, but I’d also say they have had plenty of time before. Also, maybe the suddenness of it all was actually a good thing, so we could see how some of the characters really felt.

Let’s start with Jean:

“We’ll figure out the rest from here” and, after Eren says he won’t stop, “Why not? Are you saying you can’t trust us?!”

First of all, Eren has been feeling like he was partially* pushed to this outcome, because in 4 years they couldn’t figure out what else to do to save the island in the long term. They still cannot come up with anything better than “we will be left alone for a while”, so Jean’s words offer an empty promise. It has been established that Eren won’t settle for “a while”, he wants a “forever”. Never mind that a temporary solution would still require for Historia and her kids to be sacrificed.

*Eren also feels like it was his own fault, due to “his past self wishing for everything to disappear”. We are still not sure what this means exactly, and if it is true (I’m thinking of Paths shenanigans here).

Then, Jean talks about “trust”, particularly in comrades in arms. This is a topic that has been explored repeatedly since the beginning of the story, through Levi’s “make a choice” speeches, and Eren’s harsh experiences. Basically: when Eren decided to trust in his friends and comrades, in the forest of Giant Trees, Levi’s squad got killed, Eren captured, Levi injured. All in all, it resulted in many losses, and Eren has felt a deep guilt for that outcome ever since those events, all the way through Uprising Arc and probably even later on. No matter that it wasn’t his fault, he felt that it was. So the next time he had to decide whether to trust in himself or in his comrades, he decided to trust in himself. The story also calls back to the time he “chose wrong”, as if it wasn’t an obvious parallel already.

Eren is rewarded with his friends safe and sound.

So it is no surprise that, as much as Eren - I believe - would love to trust them, experience told him that he cannot, or the price to pay will be their lives. Eren has been entrusting the SC to find another solution to the Rumbling for 3-4 years, and in the end Marley was close to declare war on Paradis. Eren isn’t averse to trusting his comrades, he just feels like he cannot, not on this one choice. (Albeit I think he’s trusting them to do the choice of stopping him - but there is something he needs to do alone).

When it comes to Connie, I feel like bringing up Sasha’s death wasn’t the best of choices. Eren feels guilty about that. He broke down in such a helpless, desperate way, that I find it hard that Connie’s words would absolve any of that hatred and guilt he must be feeling. “We are the same” - both Eren and Reiner have acknowledged this about each other, and if it has even a bit of credibility, then no amount of apologies for not understanding them, or forgiveness for what they did, is gonna make them feel any better about the death and destruction they have both caused and feel guilty about.

It was when Reiner threw himself to the ground and refused to accept Eren’s understanding and forgiveness that Eren reiterated they are the same, after all.

Hence why Connie’s words couldn’t have had the desired effect. (Also, guys, look, the “let’s band together against a common enemy is RIGHT on this page...lol)

Now, Armin’s words.

To me, it seems like he doesn’t really know what to say. Or rather, he tried every idea that bounced in his head at that moment, without a clear strategy. He didn’t have time to form one, and besides it’s difficult to decide whether to use an objective approach or an emotional one when it comes to your best friends. But even then, I felt like the reasonings, and reasons, he brought up, failed to reach Eren in a significant manner. And by this, I don’t mean that Eren wouldn’t want to just drop everything and hug his friends... we all know he would, under normal circumstances, because there is no doubt he loves them deeply... but it seems to me he has resolved to push his own feelings down and just...move forward - which is in a direction away from his friends.

Armin starts with logic, “Eren has brought so much destruction that nobody will interfere with the Island for centuries”. Except, Armin has no proof. On the other hand, Eren has probably seen that there are still enemy forces advancing in their attack of the Rumbling, so if he were to stop the Rumbling now, they’d attack Paradis. “The island is fine now.” It isn’t. I think Armin is aware that this was a lie on his part.

Armin immediately realizes that’s not good enough, and that he’s wrong, and Eren knows, so he switches to the emotional route.

“We were wrong. We forced you to this point”. It would not resonate with Eren, because Eren is too aware of the fact that what he is doing is not because his friends never understood him. As bad as they acted toward their friend, they aren’t the cause for this war. The Rumbling exists because there are people who were ready to destroy Paradis.

This prompts Jean to bring up another elephant in the room: “Eren is doing this for our sake”…which isn’t wrong, but telling Eren he doesn’t have to do it for them just won’t make Eren stop. Eren has repeatedly stated that he wants them to live, and be free. Armin has just reminded him that if Eren stops, that freedom will be crushed, along with their lives. Eren, of course, cannot accept that.

After Eren refuses to stop, Armin gets in full desperation-mode, saying they will be forever together. This is untrue, and I am not sure Armin fully realizes in the moment (how could he not, though?), because Eren will die in 4 years, Armin in 9. Besides the more pressing matter that the island can be attacked again, if Eren stops.

Lastly, “Don’t go any futher away from us than you already have”.

This is a sentiment that Armin shares with Mikasa, since all the way back to the Clash of the Titans Arc. At the time, they thought back on how Eren was always rushing forward, leaving them behind. Mikasa’s argument, in chapter 133, also touches on this. I said “argument”, but it’s more like a confession. The chapter is called Sinners for a reason, after all.

So yeah, Mikasa.

Amongst all the ineffective argument that were brought up, Mikasa’s words are the ones that took me aback the most, honestly. I am not sure if I am interpreting this right, but she sounds like she’s okay with falling to Eren’s level, as long as she can be with him. Nothing new here, but more specifically, the worst sins Eren has committed, for example killing innocents and children, which is what Mikasa focused her horrified shock on in Liberio, she is willing to do herself. That’s how you share a burden of sins, by taking part in committing them. And that’s what she acknowledges. What she wants. She says it quietly because she seems ashamed of that. Because she wanted to be like Eren, to stay close to Eren, and to share his sins, she killed and enabled Eren. So now that she has “committed the same sins”…? She has conquered a spot next to Eren? So he should stop and come back. This seems to be her line of reasoning. This is horrifying, I understand why she didn’t have the courage to yell it.

We know that Eren’s fear is that he may have enslaved her to his will, and whether he still believes it or he has just a few doubts left, seeing Mikasa admitting to something like this, must have reminded Eren of exactly why he wants Mikasa to be separated from him. ‘Cause this isn’t healthy.

Eren surely can’t feel any better by knowing Mikasa had followed that logic - maybe unconsciously. If he tried to be firm and cruel once to get her to “abandon” him, it can only get worse.

The second part of Mikasa’s little speech isn’t any better, as far as situational context goes.

In the text, Mikasa has embodied the concept of family in regards to Eren, just as much as Armin instead embodied their childhood dream of freedom.

And sure enough, Mikasa repeats what she told Eren in Liberio: “Please come back (home)”. Well, at least the Japanese version is the same, lol.

It is (still) her wish (it seems like nothing has changed in 30 chapters). But other than that, it brings up memories of Liberio, and of Mikasa’s disappointment and pain for Eren’s actions. The fact that Mikasa is willing to forgive (or better, accept) everything just because it’s Eren, may make Eren feel like she’s still not free from his influence. He may be feeling as if he brought her to accept killing innocents as something that can be partially overlooked…And I doubt it is what he wanted.

Besides, it seems that the story wants Mikasa to learn to let go as well. If Mikasa has kept on trying to keep Eren close, and it’s now become even as explicit as saying, literally, “come back home”, that “itterasshai” at the beginning of the manga counters this need and seems to imply Mikasa (who I suppose is the girl saying that) will learn to let Eren free to “go far away from her”.

“Itterasshai”, in Japanese, is a wish for someone to be safe on their journey, whenever they go out, with the expectation that they will come back. Mikasa is soflty smiling, meaning that she is okay with Eren “going out and away”. Meanwhile, the Mikasa who costantly repeats that she wants Eren to come back, to stay close, is a Mikasa who suffers and cries.

And finally, Levi. What a lacklustre moment.

It feels like Levi believes no word can sway Eren (he isn’t wrong, but still…).

Levi has never been averse to “talking it out”. He has always mostly resorted to talking, before anything else, when it counted. With minor characters such as Dimo Reeves, but mostly with regards to Eren: when the first Levi squad was about to attack Eren, Levi tried to talk them down; whenever Eren was in doubt or set on hating himself, Levi reasoned it out with him, with heartfelt little words that hit Eren’s core at the right angle. Even when Eren was out of his mind and high on adrenaline, fear and rage on the rooftop in Shiganshina, Levi opted to try and talk to him first.

The point is, he has always tried to understand Eren so that what he ended up saying, it would help the situation or resonate with Eren, or so he hoped.

This time, he doesn’t say anything of the sort. He merely admitted, in a very roundabout and lacklustre way, if not a bit too parodic for my tastes, what everyone else has said: that he would forgive Eren if he stopped now. Which isn’t bad, per se, but it’s not even close to what Levi used to be, or how he used to approach Eren.

Where Eren’s friends have missed out on what their words could achieve, potentially, due to a mix of not understanding Eren fully, and a concoction of feelings (panic, desperation, frustration) making them spout things that had no significant influence on Eren in that moment, Levi on the other hand didn’t even try this time, even though he has always done so before.

I am not sure if it’s because of Isayama’s total disinterest in Levi’s character as of late, or if it’s due to Levi himself not caring anymore - albeit it doesn’t seem the case, because he has kept on trying to find alternatives to killing Eren, so I don’t understand why he didn’t even try...

...unless he already knew it wouldn’t have worked out how Armin&Co wanted (and here I have conspiracy theories but let’s end it here lol).

Anyway, I hope this wasn’t too boring, I just felt like breaking down the scene a bit. Let me know what you thought of the various things the characters said in Paths, and if you agree with me, or if I am the only one who was disappointed by the scene, lol!

#snk 133 #shingeki no kyojin #snk spoilers #snk meta

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samsoleil · 4 years ago

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9 and 10?

ask game

V I am sending the most fond vibes in your direction I hope they make it there okay!!

10. Your favourite season and why.

Honestly? Either S2 or S11.

Season 2: Sam has psychic powers and Dean is terrified that his brother might actually be bad, but is still ride or die for him. This is where we can see their relationship flourish without the search for John hanging over their heads. But y'know what does hang over their heads? John telling Dean he'll either have to save Sam or kill him, and Sam who is desperate to be saved and willing to be killed. And then!! when Sam dies!!! Dean saves him in the worst possible way!!!! Also, it's visually gorgeous. You've got the high contrast vibes from S1 but slightly less desaturated and you've still got the grainy film texture. An excellent time.

Season 11: Listen. I still think it should have been Chuck sending Sam visions. And I don't particularly care for the B plot. But Sam and Dean peak in this season for the first time since pre-s4 and it was amazing. It's the immediate aftermath of Sam literally unleashing "a force on the world that could destroy it" to save Dean. Codependency at its peak. And in two mid-season episodes they absolutely nail the S2 energy. I mean, establishing beyond any doubt that Dean loves Sam? And then making him think Sam is dead in the very next episode? Where Sam is also the dictionary definition of BAMF? Not to mention, Sam is just. so understanding of Dean and his messy feelings about Amara. Love that for them.

9. What episodes best encapsulates the brother’s relationship? Does this change throughout the series? Doesn’t have to be the best episode btw.

To answer the second question, the brother’s relationship very obviously changes throughout the show. It’s obviously very codependent from the get go (especially from Sam’s perspective! Literally unendurable), and it varies in toxicity. Some seasons they are very soft! Some seasons I want to shout at Sam to run for the hills and never return. And then there are some episodes in seasons where their relationship is literally awful that are wonderfully tender (like 08x21 when Dean says “You gotta let me take care of you, man”).

Imo, S1-3 are peak brothers. S4/5 are excellent to watch but not the most tender. S6 is on thin fucking ice. S7-10 are, generally speaking, when I would absolutely be willing to kill a man (Dean), but are still SO compelling because these crazy kids are devoted and have no moral boundaries when it comes to the other. S11 is a return to the good stuff! I haven’t seen the seasons after that but from what I have seen, Sam becomes a Dean apologist and Dean just gets worse. But they’re still codependent, so that’s fine. “You were gonna leave and you weren’t even going to tell me?” and “What about me? Would you trade me?” are baller lines. Sam is a grown man but he’s out here saving the world by being Dean’s baby brother. Iconic of them.

OKAY so. First question. I originally had several episodes per season but I have to limit it to 2, this is going to be too long otherwise. Also, as you well know, I've only watched up to 12x06, so I won't include S12 here.

Episodes (and explanations) under the cut!

Obviously, both 01x01 Pilot and 15x20 Carry On. Literally the perfect bookends for this show. I don’t need to elaborate.

01x05 Bloody Mary - Has the moment where Dean actually has an emotional conversation with his brother, because he’s switched on to Sam’s emotional needs. He was willing to let Sam blame him for Jess’ death so that Sam didn’t blame himself! And near the end it has the iconic line "You're my brother and I'd die for you." Dean, right? No! It was Sam!! Anyone with any sort of reservations about whether Sam cared about Dean in early S1 can refer to this episode. It’s episode 5!! of the whole show!! and it has that line!!

01x11 Faith - Sam has absolutely no regrets about someone dying to save Dean's life. In retrospect, this episode says a lot about how much Sam loves Dean.

02x01 In My Time of Dying - Sam can sense that Dean is there, either through psychic powers or because they are soulmates. Both are good. Also, Dean is told that he may have to kill Sam, which influences their dynamic for the rest of the show <33

02x21 All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1 - Dean, on his knees in the mud, telling Sam's corpse that it'll be okay and screaming his name. That is all. Also, after thoroughly chewing out a victim earlier in the season for selling his soul to save a loved one, Dean sells his soul to save a loved one.

03x08 A Very Supernatural Christmas - Sam decorated a Christmas tree with pine air fresheners to give Dean a Christmas. Obsessed.

03x11 Mystery Spot - Dean dies repeatedly, then dies for good for about 6 months, and Sam becomes a ruthless hunter in order to bring him back. Dean spends longer dead in this episode than he actually does at the end of S4.

04x14 Sex and Violence - Dean's siren is literally just a version of Sam that is devoted to Dean and would do anything he says.

04x22 Lucifer Rising - Bobby coming for Dean's life. The VOICEMAIL!! Dean acting as though them being family is a cure-all and saying he'll beat Sam up, but also apologising. I'll take it. And then, of course, the voicemail Sam hears, which is more or less what Dean said in 04x04, and that being what tips him over the edge. The edge, of course, being killing Lilith to avenge Dean’s death, which has been his quest since the end of S3. Excellent.

05x16 Dark Side of the Moon - Ohoho. This episode. You know why this episode is here.

05x22 Swan Song - Same as the above! Dean who doesn't have a plan, just doesn't want his little brother to die alone. Sam, who fights off the devil himself and (essentially) kills himself to save his brother and the car they call their home. That memory sequence, for me, gave Sam the power not to save the world, but to save his brother. The world was just a bonus.

06x11 Appointment in Samara - "Dean doesn't care about me, he just cares about his little brother, Sammy, burning in hell. He'll kill me to get that other guy back." Dean's anger at himself for screwing up and forfeiting Sam's soul was. a lot. Also, Sam begging for his life and Dean just continuing anyway? Horrific. But very testament to their relationship at this point. Dean wants Sammy back and he WILL kill this other guy to do it.

06x22 The Man Who Knew Too Much - Sam being right about the consequences of having his soul put back in. And "You know me. You know why. I'm not leaving my brother alone out there."

07x03 The Girl Next Door - I was tossing up between this and 07x02 but. this has some flashbacks to past Sam!! Unfortunately, it also has Dean punching Sam for using the Impala, the car they both rely on to get around. And Dean murdering Sam's childhood friend for killing rapists. This isn’t an episode that makes you think “Awh, they’re codependent!”, it’s an episode that makes you send Sam vibes screaming at him to get out.

07x14 Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie - Ever think that maybe Sam fears clowns because he associates them with being abandoned? Also, nostalgia vs reality.

08x09 Citizen Fang - The voicemail from S4 is still hanging over our heads. Dean asking “Does that sound like the Benny we know?” and Sam replying “I don’t know Benny.” Dean keeping Benny away from Sam because Sam is apparently the one who will kill monsters with no nuance or remorse. But this episode is on the list specifically because of how pivotal the line "Yes, I do – too well. In fact, every relationship I have ever had has gone to crap at some point. But the one thing I can say about Benny – he has never let me down." is in absolutely wrecking Sam's mental health down the road!

08x23 Sacrifice - For obvious reasons! “You know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down!” and then Dean’s speech of blatant lies. It sounded good, though. Dean really is that devoted, but unfortunately he has amnesia.

09x01 I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here - Autonomy violation. This is what advanced care directives are for. Dean being so dependent on Sam that he would violate his autonomy and trick him into consenting to possession. Dean will do anything to keep Sam alive, including destroy Sam.

09x16 Blade Runners - The parallels between Colette and Sam are unbearable. “Drop the blade.” Also, Dean becomes SO feral when Sam’s cheek gets cut.

10x19 Book of the Damned - Sam’s speech! “But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother. And if he’s gone, then I don’t….”

10x24 Brother's Keeper - Ahahahahaaa. Sam kneeling down in front of Dean and letting him kill him, if he wants. Dean not doing so. Please do not emulate this relationship in your real human lives.

11x04 Baby - Obvious reasons. Also, the perfect example of how these two communicate. Dean clearly states his opinion so that Sam has something to base his arguments around, and then Sam provides his perspective. That meta about how Dean and Sam communicate and how Sam is the major decision maker opened my eyes. Impeccable takes.

11x16 Safe House - The thing Dean loves being Sam (and Sam being genuinely relieved that it was!!). Sam propping Dean’s sleeping body against the fridge while saying “I got you! Stay with me.” Him cradling Dean in his arms and patting his head and Dean being SO confused but not fighting it.

11x17 Red Meat - Okay, I lied about the 2 per season thing, I just needed all three of these episodes. They are too good to not include. Dean joking to hide how scared he is for Sam? Being willing to let all three of them die just because he thinks Sam is dead? Attempting/committing suicide to try to bring him back? Sam fighting through immense pain to get back to his brother? This episode is so good. They are absolute lunatics (affectionate).

#emblian #ask game #answered #spn #V I LOVE YOU!!#kael.txt

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deivorous · 4 years ago

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HE BIG BLEACH HC MEME centering around politics, repost & fill out! For anyone who wanted to explore those aspects more, considering it played a big role in the story. Some things may be unknown to your Muse, just think in WHAT IF then & well, have fun and take your time!

BASICS

Name: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez / / / Age: Unknown [<100 yrs] / / / Gender: He/Him (Agender) Race: Shinigami / Quincy / Hollow [ Arrancar ] / Fullbringer / Visored / Human / Other Currently lives: Soul Society / Hueco Mundo / Silbern / Living World / Hell Exact Location: Las Noches, Hueco Mundo ; Urahara Shoten Rooftop, Karakura Group(s): Las Espadas; Aizen’s Arrancar Army

QUESTIONS

- Would your muse consider themselves more: GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL ? - Would your muse consider their group more: GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL ? - How does your muse think others see them: GOOD / EVIL / NEUTRAL ? - How does your muse think others see their race: GOOD / EVIL / NEUTRAL ? - How does your muse think others see their group: GOOD / EVIL / NEUTRAL ?

- Is your muse considered a threat: YES / NO ? From whom?: Shinigami, Humans, Hollows - Is your muse powerful: YES / NO ? Could they be considered OP: YES / NO ? - Did your muse commit any crimes: YES / NO ? [ Idk everyone seems pretty chill with murder ] - Does your muse think they are doing mostly the right thing: YES / NO ? - Would society think the same: YES / NO / MIXED OPINIONS ?

- Does your muse think they are treated unfairly: YES / NO ? - Does your muse feel understood from others: YES / NO ? - Is it important for them what others think of them as a person: YES / NO ? - Would they welcome death: YES / NO ? - Will they ever find peace: YES / NO ?

01.0. Do they fully stand behind the group they are part of? YES / NO. Why is that? Explain: Grimmjow firmly believes that Aizen is right. The system is broken and it failed Grimmjow personally. But Grimmjow is disinterested in revenge, and has even less interest in fixing the broken world. All that feels too large, too tumultuous. Why is it his problem? What if they do kill the Soul King. What’s next? Replace one tyrant with another (Grimmjow knows Aizen is not a good man). The fallout can’t be predicted and honestly, his personal goals have very little to do with Aizen’s. Grimmjow’s biggest goal has an always will be to stay alive. It’s hard to do that if you back an organization and a man who is willing to dispose of him the moment his use runs out. Despite this, Grimmjow stands behind Aizen. He does not stand with Aizen’s army.

02.0. Do they like as things are in Soul Society? YES / NO / INDIFFERENT. 02.1. Is there anything they would change? Explain here: The whole thing is rotten as far as he’s concerned, but he hasn’t put more thought into it then that. If he could change it without too much effort on his part, he just wants to create a place that is safe for him and the very few people he cares about.

03.0. Would they ever actively try to bring change (in general)? YES / NO. 03.1. Is your muse more: passive / active ? introverted / extroverted ? 03.2. Does your muse care more about: others / themselves ? 03.3. Do they trouble their mind over a lot of problems, others? YES / NO. 03.4. Do they mostly involve: the world / everyone / themselves / comrades / friends / family / elderly / kids / teenagers / home / workplace / strangers / souls / humans / quincy / shinigami / nobles / fullbringer / visored / hollows / espada / arrancar / (former) boss(es) / pets / animals / zanpakuto spirit / enemies / partner / lovers / soul king / god / other…(add more) 03.5. Name (up to) three which are the most on their mind (optional, adding names): - himself - enemies (shinigami, kurosaki ichigo, aizen sosuke) - surviving espada (nelliel and hallibel)

04.0. Do they think frequently about politics? YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Why is that? Explain: He only starts paying more attention once Harribel ascends to the throne and he is one of the three leaders of Hueco Mundo. Even then, he leaves the diplomacy to Harribel and Nelliel, preferring to take up a more security and defensive based role in protecting their stronghold. His interest only extends so far as to determine ways to benefit himself.

05.0. How do they feel in their current location: POSITIVE / NEGATIVE / NEUTRAL ? 05.1. Why is that?: It’s just a place. He happens to be here.

06.0. Does your muse have any goal: YES / NO ? BIG / SMALL ? 06.1. Does it involve anything world-changing: YES / NO ? 06.2. If goal or not, any future plans? Share here: He would like to amass enough power as to no longer feel unsafe or threatened. He wishes to gain recognision and acknowledgement - originally as the King - this goal is largely achieved within Hueco Mundo.

07.0. Does your muse know about the Original Sin of Soul Society*: YES / NO ? [ Peripherally he is aware ] * curious? Read about it here. 07.1. If they knew, would it change their views on Soul Society: YES / NO ? 07.2. More: POSITIVE / NEGATIVE / NEUTRAL ?

08.0. Who is the worst person in their eyes?: Luppi 08.1. What should happen to them? Execution (quick / slow death) / Imprisonment / Stripped of their powers / Torture / Repay for their sins / Pay a Fine / Social Work / lose their loved ones / Exile / other… (add more). 08.2. Explanation: Nobody is really good or bad in Grimmjow’s eyes. They are either his enemies or they are a neutral party. Luppi is just the bitch that stole Grimmjow’s rank, and Grimmjow can’t let that stand.

09.0. Thoughts on: Quincy Massacre if they knew: POSITIVE / NEGATIVE / NEUTRAL ? 09.1. Would they be alright with such thing happening again: YES / NO / INDIFFERENT ? 09.2. Would they try to prevent it: YES / NO / DEPENDS ? 09.3. Explanation: Grimmjow is a hollow. The Shinigami kill hollows, sure. But the Quincy wipe them from existence. He has no mercy for the Quincy.

10.0. Would they ever switch sides: YES / NO ? 10.1. If yes, What could bring them to do so?: - Grimmjow is and always will be on his own side. The side he is on is therefore just whichever aligns best with his wants and needs. He is however, also very loyal. One must earn this and then work to keep it. 10.2. Would they create a new one: YES / NO ? or join a current one? If so, which: - N/A

11.0. Does your muse follow a certain moral code*?: YES / NO / GRAY AREA ? * (ethics) A written, formal, and consistent set of rules prescribing righteous behavior, accepted by a person or by a group of people. 11.1. What does it involve?: He always repays his debts. He doles out retribution as it is deserved. 11.2. What does it NOT involve?: He will show no bias in threatment regardless of sex or gender. He does not seek consent or permission. The ends justify the means at any cost. Murder. Violence. Hurting children.

YOUR MUSE’S VIEWS / OPINIONS ON THESE GROUPS ?

Central 46: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: Eh. They’re in charge of the shinigami. Grimmjow hates them by association. He doesn’t really know anything about them beyond what Aizen told him.

Four Great Noble Clans: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: Shinigami affiliated. He has no real idea who these people are or what the want.

Royal Guards / Gotei 13: positive / negative / neutral . ━ because: They hunt and kill his kind. THey are his natural enemy.

Fullbringer: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: He does not have an opinion. He has only met two and one was a shinigami.

Visored: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: He has... mixed feelings where the visored are concerned. On one hand, they are of shinigami origin. On the other hand, they are definitely at least partially hollow. Grimmjow feels an uncomfortable sort of kinship to them in the sense that both his and their lives were irrevocably affected by Aizen.

Espada: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: Every single one of them wants him dead. They can not be trusted.

Quincy: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: They want to exterminate not only his whole species but also the cycle that may one day grant Grimmjow absolution. They invaded his home, hurt his people, strung up his queen. They deserve death, and he will gladly bring it.

YOUR MUSE’S VIEWS / OPINIONS ON THESE (IMPORTANT) PEOPLE ?

Aizen: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: Grimmjow’s relationship to Aizen is much too complex to boil down into a single post. Aizen simultaneously offers Grimmjow what he wanted, and then proceeded to dangle it in front of him and laugh as Grimmjow failed to meet his expectations. Though Grimmjow is willful, he has never desired Aizen’s death (despite what he may say about it). Grimmjow goes to extensive efforts, placing both himself and his pack at risk, and placing Aizen’s desires above his own in attempts to please him. He desperatly wishes to earn his favour and though he knows he will likely never succeed, his fragile hope, fierce possessiveness, and craving for recognision drives him onwards. Grimmjow both loathes and loves Aizen.

Yhwach: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: An enemy who impeded on Grimmjow’s way of life, threatened and his territory, and whats left of those that Grimmjow could categorize as his ‘people’. The threat must be eliminated.

Mayuri: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: He doesn’t know who this man is. If he knew that he was responsible for reviving Luppi, he would hate him. If Grimmjow met him, he would decide that Mayuri gives off Szayel vibes, which are bad vibes made significantly worse by the fact that he is a shinigami.

Kurosaki: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: Again, Grimmjow’s perspective on Kurosaki is a complicated and convoluted one that really deserves it’s own post. Grimmjow was specifically made by Aizen as a stepping stone for Ichigo; as intent is realized through the Hōgyoku, at least some of that intent affected Grimmjow during his evolution. Grimmjow fixates obsessively on Ichigo, primarily as an enemy who must be destroyed. However, Ichigo is also one of the very few people who views Grimmjow as his equal, and though Grimmjow is frightened and threatened by this, he also respects Ichigo a great deal for it. These conflicting feelings cause him a lot of confusion which he expresses in violent ways.

Soul King: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: He has no strong opinions on the soul king prior to seeing it. He believes it is the actual, literal King of the Soul Society. His own pride and desire for power would have him see it as competition. Upon realizing that this is not what the Soul King is, Grimmjow is viscerally disgsted. It’s an abomination and makes him uncomfortable down to his bones. It cements in his mind that Aizen was on the right track, though he now knows of the side effects that may result in destroying it. He is outraged and abhorred that he nearly died tryign to protect such a thing.

CONGRATS, you managed till to the end, now tag your fellow bleach partners!

TAGGED BY: stole from @skyvar TAGGING: No one! It’s much too long for me to force on you, but it is super interestign and I would LOVE to read what everyone elses thoughts are!

#[ Repost Games || OOC ]#[ hc || pry open the armour plating and get at the soft meat ]#ooc ; so if u dont know yet I LOVE bleahc politics its so fascinating to me #Grimmjow isnt really interested or involved tragically #but i really love explorign and understandign the different factions #why this universe works the way it does #imagining the different outcomes if say the Quincy won or Aizen won #thats fascinating to me #and grimmjow is technically a political leader now lmAOOOOOO so he should probably try harder and be more aware and knowledgable on politics

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zorarpg · 4 years ago

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Each of us has heaven and hell in him.

- Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

NAME: Guinevere Davignon BIRTHDAY: November 22nd 1626 GENDER: Cisgender female SPECIES: Witch OCCUPATION: Seamstress at M&A Tailors YEAR THEY JOINED ZORA: 1816 FACECLAIM: Astrid Bergès-Frisbey

HISTORY

The notion of home has been a fickle one for Guinevere since she can remember, at least when it comes to having a stable, unmovable place to reside in. Home was never a place, but people, as she recalled. She was born in her mother’s homeland, surrounded by the vibrant nature of the Irish valleys and brought up by the wisdom and magic of the druidic witches from her mother’s coven. Her father was a French witch from Bretagne, an alchemist and a tailor, and his work usually took the family to the road, to wherever good business called. As a child Guinevere fancied herself a sort of wanderer, enjoying their life in the woods and traveling in their colorful caravan. Her mother was a talented potion maker and she often posed as a healer in whichever town they temporarily settled in. Since she was a little girl, Guinevere was fascinated by what her mother did and by all that nature could give to conjure magic and heal almost every malady in the human body. However, her own magic had always responded better to her father’s teachings of alchemy and she set her mind on mastering that branch of witchcraft as well as her father, studying closely with him and keeping a journal on everything she learned and experimented with regarding the deconstruction and transmutation of various forms of matter.

Guinevere was a girl of sixteen when hysteria and fear of witchcraft reached the town of Fougères, where her family had just settled a few months prior. It all began when the town’s chaplain, Mathurin Trullier, was accused of possessing grimoires and conducting alchemical experiments in search of the mythical Philosopher’s Stone. Physician Isaac Marais also came under fire, being accused of having used incantations to the devil in the treatment of the plague some years earlier. The accusations went out of control after that. Healers, farmers, tailors, butchers, midwives, all sorts of people were looked at with suspicion and incarcerated to be trialed. Some accused others while tortured just to save their own skin and such was the case when the names of Guinevere’s parents were spoken as practitioners of magic, as so-called ‘devil worshippers’. Her mother made her drink an invisibility potion when they came for them, a powerful potion that not only made her unseen and unheard by anyone, but also rendered her magic useless for a fortnight. Guinevere knew her mother did it to keep her safe, to prevent her from getting caught as well, but the girl wouldn’t do anything to help her mother and father when they were held captive in the dungeon, when they were tortured, when they were trialed and publicly proclaimed as witches and when they were hanged. When her mother drew her last breath the spell vanished and Guinevere vowed to make everyone involved in the execution of her family pay for their sin. In the midst of her intense grief, Guinevere schemed how to best carry out her vengeance until it hit her: the basic concept of alchemy was based on equivalent exchange. The matter you take is the same matter you transform and shape into something new. Could humans be treated as source material, though? Those people -accusers, judges, and executioners- had taken away lives so each of them would give lives in return. Their own lives.

Based on her father’s work and her own studies, Guinevere theorized how to take away those people’s lives and transmute them into life-force energy. She couldn’t bring back her mother and father from the dead but she could keep those lives for herself, live on longer for all the years stolen from her parents. It took some time to work out how to use that experimental form of alchemy but ultimately she found out how to do it. She carried out her vengeance and transmuted the nine lives of the people involved in her parents’ deaths, turning their souls into sheer energy. This caused her to live longer than the average witch but something twisted happened as well the day she committed what many would deem a sin, or took a turn for the darker side of magic. Those nine souls resided inside of her and their individual wills didn’t fully vanish. They live in her and they hate her for what she did to them, sometimes getting in the way of her magic, particularly when it comes to protective and offensive spells. Having a sort of ‘broken’ magic is a cheap price to pay for the justice that needed to happen for her parents’ deaths. So Guinevere lived on and on, turning a century old, still moving from one place to another as she did in her childhood and teenage years. It was in Ireland when she was researching more about druidic healing magic to find a way to quiet down and tame the souls in her, that she encountered the collective and learned of what Zora was. With no family and no real ties to anyone or anywhere, there was nothing to lose by joining their supernatural community. If anything, she had hopes that perhaps one of them might have some solution for her and the willful souls that live inside of her. While she doesn’t regret in any way what she did to those nine people, there are days she wishes the souls would be silent.

CONNECTIONS

N/A

STATUS

Guinevere Davignon is taken.

#lsrp #lsrpg #literate rp #dark rp #period rp #taken f #astrid berges-frisbey #witch #guinevere davignon #taken

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diveronarpg · 5 years ago

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In fair Verona, our tale begins with MATTHIAS WARREN, who is THIRTY-THREE years old. He is often called MALCOLM by the MONTAGUES and works as their CAPTAIN. He uses HE/HIM pronouns.

TW: DEATH

Some sons and daughters spend their whole lives trying to distance themselves from their parents, to distinguish themselves as their own person entirely, but Matthias Warren has done no such thing. Proud to be his father’s son and eager to be compared to the man who gave him life, he strove to follow in his father’s much larger footsteps as a child, wearing his old clothes and playing with toy guns in the hopes that one day, he might be HALF the man Marius Warren was. And whether he realized it or not, he got his wish; worn collared shirts turned into suits and toy guns turned into pistols, and day by day, an endearingly ambitious boy turned into a respectable man. He became his father’s equal, his brother-in-arms, a man worthy of bearing the Warren name. But he didn’t stop there; his father had been a Montague for years—longer than he’d let on when his young son had asked, he was sure—and despite Marius’s insistence that he avoid the mob and pursue a career of his own, the younger man was drawn to it, to the risk, the danger of defending one’s family with blood in your mouth and a finger on the trigger. As a child, he’d dreamed of being just like his father. Given the chance, he took it and RAN. But that wasn’t the only running Matthias Warren would ever do. A few short years after he joined the mob, he awoke one fateful Wednesday morning to the news that his father had been killed—shot down while out for a drink at a bar just across the Castelvecchio—and lost without the guidance of his idol, his best friend, he ran. He left the city to clear his head and avoided alcohol like the plague, suddenly determined to do things differently than his father had in order to avoid the same end. He took his time and mourned his father privately, comforted by the ANONYMITY of being in a city where no one knew either of their names, and once he’d come to terms with the fact that the man he’d aspired to be was gone, his next task was to make peace with his obligation to avenge his father’s death. It was his duty, one last way to honor his father’s name, but for all that he would’ve liked to storm back into the city, guns blazing and blades drawn, he knows that haste would do him no favors. REVENGE is an endeavor best pursued with much forethought, and it was this careful planning that kept him away from Verona a few months more. And plan he did. Ever his father’s son, he spent much of his time in Paris using whatever resources he could to pin down the guilty man and decipher how to ensure he would never get up again. He drew from his inheritance to hire eyes in Verona and and bribed an emissary to scour the records for him—he did anything and everything he could to complete the puzzle, to assemble piece by piece the picture of Marius Warren’s final hours. And now, nearly a year later, he’s almost certain he’s found his mark. They called him a coward, a son who looked retribution in the face and fled, but even SNAKES may pause before striking, and Matthias is nothing if not prepared. Prepared to make his father’s murderer pay for his sins—prepared to cut him down at his knees, for what better position is there to beg for mercy from? Not all that glitters is gold, and not all who wander are lost; in much the same way, not all who run are AFRAID. He’s returned to Verona with a vengeance, every ounce as vicious as he was when he left, and he won’t rest until he sees the man who killed his father buried six feet under. He’s been running for so long that he’s forgotten what it feels like to have both feet planted firmly on the ground, but the city should hold its breath in anticipation for the moment that he REMEMBERS, because men like him—righteous in their ways and justified in their revenge—are often more dangerous than those that seek to stop them. But dangerous or not, he’s not a monster. His enemy can take heart in the fact that he’s dealing with a man far more honorable than himself, but even HONOR calls for reparations, and he’s not afraid to take what he knows is his: retribution. As long as his father’s killer still breathes, no one is safe, for a man who does wrong for himself is fearsome, but a man who does wrong for another is terrifying.

RAMONA AGUILAR: Companion. Ramona is relentless; often behaving like a tigress unleashed in long-overdue free reign and although he keeps warning her that her recklessness will be the end of her, he respects her for it. Unlike him, a man chained to his past and his loyalties, Ramona is a free spirit and it makes their encounters interesting, to say the least. She reminds him that there can be more to his existence than calculative tact and often entices him to be more impulsive with his actions which is a welcome change sometimes but not one he is really willing to give in to.

MIKAEL FALCO: Mark. All the signs point to him, and if Matthias has anything to do with it, the next thing that will be pointing in his direction is the barrel of a gun. He’s watched the man for quite some time, both through the keen eyes of another and with his own, and he’s been pleased to find that of he and his wife, the latter seems far more lethal. It almost makes him question whether Falco could’ve even committed the crime he’s convicted him of, but Warren knows the dangers of underestimating his enemy, and he refuses to lull himself into believing that the Capulet man will go down without a fight. He’s not sure whether or not he wants to be proven right. ALEXANDER RALLIS: Private adviser. Despite how conniving Matthias is, you can only go so far on your own and two heads are always better than one. With how tentative the situation is between the two mobs, Matthias can’t afford to make a single wrong move when executing his revenge—it’s imperative that he keep the broad picture in mind and who could assist him with that better than the renowned Montague adviser himself? He often goes to Alexander for advice and tactical guidance and the Rallis man indulges him, although Matthias is unsure why. Perhaps he finds his consultations to be mutually beneficial for the both of them but whatever his reasons are, he’ll help bring Matthias’s plans to fruition and that is all that matters. DELILAH BELLO: Interest. He first laid eyes on her while trying to get a feel for Mr. Falco’s favorite haunts, and he was intrigued enough by her to keep looking long after he’d found what he was searching for. There’s something in the way she carries herself, a sort of tried elegance in the way she moves, and he’s taken it upon himself to get closer, to introduce himself to and learn more about the woman the Capulets seem to treat like a plague. No stranger to feeling like an outsider himself after months out of the circuit, he empathizes with her, but with that empathy comes the acknowledgment that there’s always more to the story than what meets the eye. He just might be going crazy, but he wants to know hers.

Matthias is portrayed by CHARLIE HUNNAM and was written by BREE. He is currently TAKEN by HAYLEY.

#literate rp #active rp #shakespeare rp #crime rp #mafia rp #matthias warren #mont #m #tm #t

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lemonsknees · 6 years ago

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Is the Bible clear on Homosexuality?

reposting this here cause apparently while i was off learning about the Bible my other account got flagged, go figure ¯\_(’-’)_/¯

I have been attending a bible college for a year now. Why? Because I have a passion for the Lord and have an unhealthy desire to know all the things. Now I would have attended regardless but I had some ulterior goals in mind when I started attending. I wanted to know what caused people to be homophobic. I myself am bisexual (though at the moment i’m very firmly at the back of the closet like I’m hanging out with C. S. Lewis in Narnia rn). So the school doesn’t know about this. But I also have close family member who is apart of the LGBT that had a large hand in raising me and the school does know about them. so when I question into things like this the other students and the teachers think it’s on the basis of concern for them.

Now I could go on about the homophobic behaviors I noticed during the year, in fact I have a copy in which I tried to go through it and it just took to long to try to go over exactly what they were getting wrong every time. so instead of doing that I’d like to go over something that people said repeatedly which got on my nerves and kill it.

“The bible has a very clear view of homosexuality and if a church accepts people of the LGBT it means that they aren’t a Biblically accurate church”

The Bible doesn’t actually discuss homosexuality often at all. People like to look at verses about marriage but the Biblical examples of marriage aren’t exactly meant to be the ‘ideal.’ The book which supposedly the best example of what marriage is supposed to be like, The song of Solomon, was written by a man with multiple wives.

The occasions where the bible does talk about homosexuality it isn’t talking about a loving relationship between two people the way we understand it today. I’ll be looking at three (fourish) places where its talked about.

Sodom: this is one most people don’t really get caught up on if they’ve actually read the story instead of just thinking they know what sodomy means (it actually means any form of sexual activity which isn’t meant to produce children not specifically homosexual) the story of Sodom and Gomorra is that two angels entered the city and found lodging in Lot’s house. After they’d entered the house however they had to struggle to keep the people of the city out of the house because they wanted to drag the men out and rape them. lot’s response is to offer up his two daughters to them instead (an example of how even the people the Bible roots for aren’t people who we are meant to model our lives after) the crowds don’t accept Lot’s offer and God ultimately decides to destroy the city. Now having read this is it safe to assume that God destroyed the city because the people there were gay? Or was it maybe because they tried to gangrape foreigners?

This isn’t even the last instance in which we see this. In judges there’s a story that is very similar to this. A man is visiting and stays in someone’s house, the people of the town descend on the house and demand to be allowed to rape this man. The man who owns the house instead offers them the visitors mistress. This time they accept the offer and the woman is raped to death. This story is an awful one to read, and the narrative treats it as such, a war is started over the death of this woman. Because of the parallels between this story and the one of Sodom and Gomorra and how no one ever sights this as a story against homosexuality but against rape and the mistreatment of foreigners I think it is safe and Biblical to assume that Sodom was destroyed for the sins of such, rape and mistreatment of foreigners.

Leviticus has a law specifically against a man sleeping with another man, this is easily dismissible as another law that was only applicable to the Jewish people, but let’s look at why this would have been in place. Culturally woman were seen as lower than men, to sleep with another man would be seen as him lowering his partner to the status of a woman. Sexual relationships were barred outside of marriage, marriages were arranged for the purpose of bringing children, thus two men had no chance of ever getting married, thus making it unlawful by default. A man would be likely be cheating on his wife to do so. A woman sleeping with another woman would be seen as ruining her value as a virgin in an arranged marriage or other wise she would be cheating on her husband.

Now all this to say that what is being described here is a far way off from committed gay relationships that are seen today and that cultural views have a huge impact on things like this. A lot of these things can be said about other points against gay marriage but I will try to avoid repeating myself.

It is also worth noting that the church has historically not taken the other Levitical laws which fall into the same category as seriously as they’ve taken this one.

Lastly for this I’d like to discuss Paul’s comments on the subject. Again we need to look at the cultural meaning of what he is saying. A lot of it is the same as before but now Paul is talking to the Greeks, who have a different culture than the Jewish people. Non Jewish people,(gentiles) were allowed into the church after the death and resurrection of Jesus. When this decision was made the church had a large debate on whether or not gentile converts had to follow Levitical law. The ultimate decision was that they didn’t, (again a point against the Levitical law against this) the laws which the gentiles were however to follow were the ten commandments, they were to follow laws against idolatry (such as not eating any meat that had been offered to idols or other gods) and that they were to avoid fornication, or sexual intercourse between people not married to each other (again a main point here is that gay marriage wasn’t a thing even conceived at that time

Now those of you who know your history will know that the romans and Greeks were pretty gay. Paul knew this too and came against this pretty harshly. Why? Because being gay is a sin? Maybe. Or maybe because people were sleeping with one another at temples as a form of worship to the Greek gods, or maybe because all gay sex was extramarital. Or maybe because the view of sexuality at the time wasn’t I fall in love with such and such type of people. Instead people, when a person slept with a person of the same gender saw it as that person being so lustful that they wanted to sleep with everyone.

There’s also the point that the apostles were convinced that the end was coming any day. Paul was working as quickly as he could under the assumption that the end could be any day, going so far as to tell people it was better to just not get married unless you absolutely needed to in order to avoid fornication. He didn’t exactly think he had time to fix the social climate beyond declaring the Lord and condemning those who continued to sleep with those they were not married to.

So can the argument be made from a Biblical perspective against gay marriage and homosexual relationships? I won’t say no. in fact I’ve met plenty of people in my life who have committed themselves to being single in order to avoid being in sin. And if a persons convictions lean to that view I’d honestly recommend the same. If you’re convinced something is wrong you shouldn’t do it. But if you don’t have that sense, I want you to know that the Bible is in fact not clear on this issue. I was watch a video an atheist made about why he became so. One of the reasons he listed was he realized that if people are born gay that means being gay is the only sin that a person is born into. Don’t let this be the thing that destroys your faith. Don’t let the church be a stumbling block to Jesus. Don’t let them dismiss you in this way. The Bible isn’t clear on this. There are other arguments out there with as much biblical validity as the argument that it’s wrong. I’d recommend that a person prayerfully listen to both sides of this if they are looking for which is true. I obviously have a preference but you shouldn’t just accept what I say, instead please go and do your own research on the subject and find people who are respectful and willing to talk to you about this. if you wanna talk to me i’m definitely open to listening. (actually i’d be really excited that someone wanted to talk to me)

sorry that this is more an argument against homophobia than something like against Transphobia, i’ve sort of been hyper focusing on the subject,but if you’re trans and want some encouragement then i suggest you read Galatians 3:28!

i’m not on tumblr often anymore but my discord is lemons knqueezies#6065 so feel free to talk to me there, or if you didn’t like this feel free to send me funny and clever insults to my character!

have a great day :D God Bless!

#Bible #Biblical Argument for homosexuality

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lemonsknqueezies · 6 years ago

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Is the Bible clear about Homosexuality?

k so i know i don’t exactly know what else to do with this. i just really need to get this out of my head and i think it might be helpful to somebody out there.

“The bible has a very clear view of homosexuality and if a church accepts people of the LGBT it means that they aren’t a Biblically accurate church”

It is also worth noting that the church has historically not taken the other Levitical laws which fall into the same category as seriously as they’ve taken this one.

have a great day :D God Bless!

#Biblical Argument for Homosexuality #the bible on Homosexuality #Bible #the church

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wisdomrays · 7 years ago

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BASICS OF ISLAM :Avoiding Sins .Part2

- I -

On slippery, dangerous roads, one walks very carefully, as if through a mine field or dangerous enemy territory. A comparable caution and alertness are necessary while one goes out in the streets and market-places, because it is always possible that the forbidden things will present themselves to our eyes. One should avoid looking at and seeing the forbidden by casting down the eyes or turning the face away. One who shuts his eyes to the forbidden does not lose anything materially and spiritually, and he does not give any harm to anybody. One who works efficiently, honestly and sincerely and serves in the way of God, can never be a passive victim of evil and vice. On the other hand, those who stare at others or let others stare at them do not gain anything thereby except danger. Hospitals, courts, prisons and the reports in the dailies are clear testimony of what such persons themselves, who court danger, and their partners, families, societies and countries, have lost by doing so. You cannot expect much from those who paralyzed their hearts and wills by wandering glances.

In one hadith the Prophet said:

"A time will come when to preserve faith will be like holding a red hot cinder in one's palms. If you throw it away, you will lose your faith, if you keep it, you will get burnt." ( Tirmidhi, Fitan 73; Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Musnad, 2/390. )

In another hadith he said:

"Nazar (glancing at the forbidden) is one of the poisonous arrows of Satan." ( Tabarani, Mu'jam al-Kabir, 10/173; Hakim, Mustadrak, 4/349. )

When it hits the heart or penetrates it through the channel of the eyes, one perishes. And the Prophet expressed the Divine Will in his words and added that:

"If anyone leaves it out of fear of Me, I will give his heart such an exhilaration of faith that he feels it thoroughly in the very depths of his heart." ( Ibid. )

The Prophet expressed his attitude toward the poisonous arrows of Satan in speech and also demonstrated it in his dealings with his close relatives. While they were descending from Mount Arafat during the pilgrimage, he let his cousin, Fadl, son of 'Abbas, ride on his camel. In order to prevent his cousin's gaze being caught by the women who were passing by them, the Prophet with his hand pushed his cousin's head from one side to the other.Recall that this happened during pilgrimage, when any intention to look at women for pleasure is impossible, and when, in the words of 'Aisha, mother of believers, women used to cover even their faces, at a time when everyone felt the sublime atmosphere of the Archangel Gabriel's Revelations, the nearness of the Hereafter, and the miracles, the Age of Happiness. Even as we seek to control our hearts in the mosques and in the company of other sincere Muslims, how should we evaluate the Prophet's turning his cousin's face from one side to another during a Hajj in that epoch? The Prophet did so because he did not want his cousin to be distracted, to be hit by a poisonous arrow which might sow the seeds of evil and vice in his heart and mind, even at a time when Fadl was far from dreaming of such a thing.

The meaning of this event is to cut off evil at its root. It is like not allowing a box of matches into the forest so as to protect it from being burnt down; or, even when there is no threat of war, to maintain the practice of guarding the frontiers and headquarters with many sentries; or to stuff all the holes and crevices so that snakes and scorpions have no dwelling-places in which to breed. That is, to set barriers before vice and evil so as to prevent many individuals from being led astray and families broken; to eliminate all the ways and means leading to rape, adultery, murder, all sorts of immorality, perversions and corruptions; and to deter all sins by prevention. That is the way defined by God.

The Prophet said to 'Ali, who became a Muslim at the age of seven, who grew up within the atmosphere of the Prophet, was his cousin and was to be the father of the generations that would come from the Prophet's lineage:

"O 'Ali, the first glance is in your favor, but the second is against you."

That is, when your eye lights on something forbidden, you will not be responsible for that glance because it is unintentional and accidental. Your will is not in that first look. But, if you do not turn your eyes from it and keep on looking, your carnal self and will are in it, and you will be questioned and punished for it; because this is the first ring of a chain that will drag you into deviation, into the forbidden.

So the Prophet would have us close the gates to the forbidden, to prevent it in advance, before it can happen.

- II -

One should not go out simply when one is bored. Going out just out of boredom is a weakness and error of attitude. For, one exposes oneself thereby to more negatives, a sort of "falling out of the frying pan into the fire."

Boredom arises from the dissatisfaction of the heart, lack of closeness and relation to the Prophet and God, being unable to do the religious duties and prayers properly or adequately, being free or idle due to not reading and contemplating enough, having few good friends and having no duty or responsibility on one's shoulders to fulfill or not serving in the way of God as one is supposed to. In such a person, there are many openings for Satan to get into. This is like walking again through the trenches where one was wounded by Satan, or like drinking sea-water to quench a thirst aroused by drinking sea-water.

There is another way to look at this situation. God, in virtue of His name Qabdh, grips man's heart and puts him into a state of qabdh (literally, "contraction," "gripping"); a state of spiritual desolation, which is a test for man to see his level of determination and loyalty. That is, the man is tested to see whether he will turn to God and do prayers and supplications—or turn away. Let me point out here that prayers, supplications, duties and services done in such a state are far more rewarding than those done at bast (literally, "expansion," "extension"), in a joyful and happy state, or than those done with ease, amid other Muslims at normal times of congregation. And later on, as the sun shines after a short burst of cloudy weather, God, in virtue of His name Basit, expands the man's heart and returns him to comfort and eagerness. Thus, God gives man the reward proportionately to the hardship he endures.

In sum, one should not go out unnecessarily and, when he does so, he should try to accomplish not a single but a couple of tasks on one occasion. He should keep away from the places and districts where sins are committed and where there is no service in the way of God.

When one goes out, one should give the time and place the attention that is their due. The Companions of the Prophet, like Abu Bakr, 'Umar and Abu Dhar, often went out to teach the truths of Islam. Those who go out onto the public streets with such aims in mind give the streets their due right and thus are protected from committing sins. When the Prophet forbade his Companions to sit alongside the roadway, they said they had some business or good reason for doing so. Then the Prophet said: "Then give the roadway its due," that is, clean it of all stones, thorns or obstacles, receive and respond to the greetings of passers-by, enjoin the good and forbid the bad and tell them the truths. Only with this pure intention, one's sins and wrong-doings can be replaced and turn to good deeds.

- III -

One should refer to, read, listen to, or have to do with works that encourage knowledge, awe and fearful reverence (makhafa), purify the senses and feelings, direct one's attention to the higher purpose of living in this world, and keep one's thoughts and feelings under the influence of that purpose while one is going out to school, or work, or is engaged in service. One should review one's purpose before going out, take a deep look at the self's accounts and balance-sheet, do self-supervision, and be equipped with some spiritual tension so that it may serve as a cover, or shield, between oneself and vice. In that way one may be protected by God from Satan and sins.

- IV -

One should not go out, as it were, unattended. One should have the company of one or more good friends who can always help guide one's attention and who are accessible for consultation and who can keep one's spiritual resources alert through guidance and counseling. For, often one's inner control may not suffice to brake and hold oneself safe against temptations. One's level of faith may not be of the strength and quality to feel that one is always under the watchful supervision of God. One may sometimes suffer such weak moments that self-control fails, one's gaze slips to the forbidden, and thus one receives a wound in the soul, the seed of bad ideas may spread in the mind and a sin begin to ferment in the soul. However, when one has good friends around, each watching out for the others, conversation can always turn to good things and one can be more careful about what enters the eyes and ears. There are moments when one will forget that the watchful supervision of God is constant; in such moments, the desire and need not to embarrass and disgrace one's friends may serve to prevent acts or manners that constitute or lead to wrong-doing. This may be considered a lack of sincerity, to some extent even a sort of hypocrisy, a mere pretending to be good; but, whereas hypocrisy ruins the essence of the positive deeds, like salat (prescribed daily prayers), it does not ruin the negative deeds, the not-doing of what is bad. For example, if a man does not commit adultery while only pretending to be good, still he did not commit that sin, or if he does not steal something only because people are watching him, even so he did not steal. When the adultery of the hand or foot, eye or ear, or mind, or whatever else will draw man's imagination toward sin is renounced, even to seem good to others, one is considered to be safe from that sin unless and until it takes control of the soul and one commits the sin, as it were, in the heart though not daring to do it in fact. Furthermore, there is some reward in not committing and renouncing the forbidden. For instance, each closing of the eyes to the forbidden earns man the reward of a wajib (necessary) act.

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mejomonster · 4 years ago

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Help me I’m on ep 24 and I love this show too much:

Gu xiang is GENUINELY my favorite character. Hands down. I’d read so much of her story, I’d read epic novel lengths of her as the lead I. I am so emotional over her story. She’s my favorite kind of heroine - she grew up a monster, is fiercely loyal, she’s ruthless but also loving and has a heart of gold, she’s so much like Zhou zishu but younger and with more innocence life hasn’t quite ruined of her hope, while still seeing the world so much bleaker than cao weining does.

And how wen kexing and all the ghost valley women raising her shaped her... how beauty ghost told her to value the time she has with loved ones, so she’s coping with her own inner guilt and fear and willing to try. She’s so scared cao weining won’t love her and she won’t be able to keep him in her life but on a deeper level she’s worried she’s only someone who could be hated. Someone no one can see as a good person. That there’s lines in the sand and she’s on her side already and it’s not a side most people would ever care to even hear out or let exist in peace, let alone befriend. But she still wants to exist, she still wants there to be a way she can exist With these other people. With at least the ones she loves like cao weining, like Her new brother Zhang Chengling.

And the moment her and cao weining talked! How he said “you’ll kidnap me then!” And then she was like “who would” and he’s like “I’d kidnap you then!” When he’s insisting they’ll be together no matter what. It was so cute and heartbreaking and wholesome and overwhelming all at once (much like this whole show lol). And god I love them so much. I ship them more then I probably shipped anyone in Eternal Love, at least as much as I cared about the leads in Goodbye My Princess (and the kind of tragic setups of their lives different from each other sure seems familiar lol).

I loved that scene so much.

Also just. Still can’t get over how much Gu Xiang is like our lead hero Zhou Zishu, she has so many of the same fears, sees herself with that same kind of villain origin (even tho she’s probably not got as much innocent blood on her hands as he does, she still feels that guilt). And cao weining really is her own little Zhou zishus husband equivalent - like wen kexing, cao weining is direct with her and ride or die and decides she’s his soulmate pretty clearly and is COMMITTED. That boy is LOYAL. Loving, straight to the point, overt, intensely affectionate. And for all that he’s more innocent than wen kexing, the way he loves her is very much with his whole heart and resolved and I’m so glad gu xiang has that. It’s grounding and healing for her. It’s stable. It lets her be both her disguises and real self and feel safe, feel like she wants the companionship and the full life she wants to fight for.

Also the scene where wen kexing has a nightmare about joining the ghost valley oh god. 1 I love how Brave and Intense kid wen kexing was, you can tell that innate intensity and willingness to fight was there even as a kid, and 2 how xi sang gui sort of saved him and had a soft spot for him. I suspected that but it’s cool to see it confirmed, nice writing.

3 I loved that when he woke up, and Zhou Zishu said shidi.. he was probably talking about the Dead one from ep 1. The one who’s death caused him to drive the nails into himself, who’s death drove him to leave the window of heaven, who made him break. I love that the shidi referenced is almost certainly THAT one. A dead reminder of his sins, his guilt and grief and regret and loss. That he can’t turn back time, that it’s only forward, that his mistakes have been made. He has a new family he’s made now, and he’s trying to rebuild his home. But the past is gone. Wen kexing he might have met once in the past but for wkx this is all mostly new too. Wkx was mostly a stranger who was lost. But that Shidi Zhou zishu was crying out about was the one zzs the ADULT let die, was responsible for, loved. The one zzs has both this manor and his nails to remind him of. Wen kexing is his future, his new family who wakes him up and soothes him. His new connection to the world. It’s a lovely parallel between new and old, guilt and forgiveness. Zzs returning is him giving himself enough forgiveness to live. To rebuild. To trust himself with lives again. Surrounded in that room by Lao Wen and his new disciple... ;-; it was just such a nice past versus present character moment for both of them.

Also whenever he says Lao wen I feel like he’s saying husband wen. I know that’s not what it means but the vibe. I feel the vibe. ;-;

I also like Shen Shens reappearance honestly because him dealing with Zhang Chengling last episode also felt like a nice showcase of past and present for everyone.

#word of honor #word of honor lb #I’m happy knowing the ending will be happy #I am now watching at a chiller pace than y’all lol #truly gu Xiang is...my favorite you have no idea how much #my favorite kind of woman character is harder to find usually #cause I feel women are less often written this way and sometimes turned flat villain when they are #so woh is great in that ALL the lead women are my preferred kind of character #and gu xiang especially cause I. LOVE when characters put on acts and are cold to know #and care so much #also rattan I’m quite liking cause again FINALLY a lead I connect to #I cannot connect to leads who are emotionally open and happy and silt #like I love xuanji but only related to god of war and lhjd #i love a Ning too she’s more relatable lol ToT

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wreckthelist · 4 years ago

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on ‘BE’ing here: part i

rambling of sorts on Grammy nominated artist Bangtan Sonyeondan

(note 1: I was planning to complete this the day of the nomination, but judging from the state of how things are - this right here is the opportune moment to, as my friend Mint had put it, clear out whatever I’ve been wanting to do but didn’t get the time to)

When Spotify announced, loud and clear, on that 2020 Year-End summary instagram story, Dynamite was the song that helped me through 2020 (this fuck-up of a year), that wasn’t an understatement.

I’ve seen Bangtan before, heard of them in passing, even (slightly, really slightly - when you’re hanging out in film-dom or western doms, I doubt you’d come in contact with a full-fledged Korean dom as it is, or perhaps my circles were small and quite closed in on themselves. Regardless!) - and opened that Boy With Luv SNL performance for my parents on the TV in the living room, not long after they went on the show. But it took that one song, one full English song, for me to listen.

(sorry and thank you Namjoon for that diss. Yes, the song’s message’s definitely digestible and easy to consume - for foreign, western audiences. No one much had to care what you guys had to say way back when and they were wrong for it.)

Dynamite pretty much saved my life. (Still waiting for that damn vinyl, BigHit. Think I’ll get it come new year’s.)

The first time I started listening, I couldn’t really stop. I think I played and replayed and replayed the song 20++ times as I did mundane household chores which were asked of me in the morning. Sunday August 24th, my life was transformed (and my digital and physical wallets along with it. Sobs.)

I had no idea who was singing which part, no idea which boy was which, but what got me in, locked and loaded and in place, were the beats, the uplifting sounds that got me dancing again after a messy heartbreak caused by a personification of immaturity who had refused to let go. I was only one week into my new job (old job again now. Such is the way of life - and we lead separate ones now, no reason to cry over invisible lives and imagined smiles or smirks of satisfactions I am not in any current position privy to - or will ever be. Thank God.)

Then there were the messages - the lyrics - “I’m diamond, you know I glow up.” - I mean, Yes, Fucking YES - Kim Seokjin, of course I’m a piece of precious Jewel. Of course I am one and whole of myself and one of a kind (apologies for being cliches, felt good to type out loud right). Asked on Twitter who the “other black-haired” guy was and learned that it was Hobi. Spent time watching a couple of interviews, took 3 hours to tell the boys apart (”You had a lot of free time,” Shareef said, amused, and I quite abashedly admitted to him yes.), and picked him as my bias (little did I know).

I was attracted (still am) to sunshine. I needed smiles and laughters like his in my life. He stood out to me in almost every interview, beaming with his heart-shaped lips and his eternal catchphrase - “I’m your hope.” I was exactly at that point in my life when I needed to hear that. From him, in that voice, from those lips, with those eyes.

And I thought, dear god. I’m always attracted to guys who bring smiles to my face. Of course it has to be him.

(Natalie replied “You’ve joined the party!” in a reply to my screencap of Taehyung wearing those adorable black-rimmed glasses on Stephen Colbert not long after.

That Beatles-Boy With Luv performance remains one of my favorites.)

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Bangtan has since performed and performed and performed Dynamite, and to this day I and the rest of the fandom have witnessed and seen about 30++ performances of Dynamite, and it has yet to grow old on us. (Well.) I swear I can still play the song at least once a day, and that irresistible bubble of hope in Jungkook’s voice in the opening simply shines through. The rest of the song just does its magic - every single time.

I mean, “Life is sweet as honey,” “I’m in the stars tonight,”? Talk about hope, about confidence, looking forward. Straight and simple as that. I had yet to discover what BTS truly has in store.

Note 2: My favorite dance move in the performance itself is Hoseok’s, for the Japanese taping (FNS Music Festival) right here.

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After Dynamite, I burned through the usual favorites, seeing as there was a literal treasure trove of Bangtan songs to discover and listen to, thanks also to this chart.

Go Go and Pied Piper are fun teases to listen to every now and then. Their Halloween dance practice and MNet countdown (I could die over Tae’s clear-rimmed glasses) are bundles of colorful energy. (Until I came across Lotte 2018 Jungkook?! Adding Best of Me here because it’s become a recent favorite. Dance moves are impeccable. There was a stint in my life where I was watching the Airplane Pt. 2 MV almost every day because of how in love I was over Taehyung’s whole look - pink hair, flowing robes, and how the boys pull off their outfits. )

I proceeded mainly through the orange branch, bought myself a few Love Yourself albums along the way, and the day I saw this Min Yoongi in In the Soop, my Bangtan life took a turn.

Yep. Simplicity.

What’s not to fall in love with?

One of my current, low-ranking regrets may include having forgotten the exact moment I first listened to Trivia: 轉 Seesaw, but I fell hard and deep. To that point of no return when I read the lyrics and that analogy Yoongi had penned.

I mean, add Autumn Leaves (the complexity of layered notes, beats, and resulting emotions... ah) and you’ve got this king of breakup songs right here.

What beautiful words, what gorgeous language. I wish I could learn Korean just to fully appreciate the message.

Another friend recommended me Butterfly and I lost my shit realizing they referenced Murakami.

More obscure songs like 134340, Paradise and Sea I didn’t get to till much later. Whalien 52 could make me cry just with the lyrics alone (I doubt my exes had ever felt that level of emotional toward me - the more tragic thing is that the doubt would always exist). Just One Day was that track I had on loop this one afternoon I had to go into town for a dinner party, and Miss Right was an accidental discovery that had me grinning and blushing to the boys’ voices alone, same as 21st Century Girl (’Cause you’re my only girl, oh yea. If you love me, just say it straight. We love a confident but committed guy.)

*Dope is that one MV I waited to watch because of my love of uniforms and managed to get to on a day I could not recall.

*This MIC Drop MAMA performance is the hottest clothes-on, turn on performance I’ve ever watched.

Coffee was the track I first listened to on a drive back from a rather unsuccessful and uneventful beach (bitch?!) trip, and the bitter nostalgia cut me deep. Jungkook’s voice could string up my soul any day of the week. Yes, baby, I still drink Caramel Macchiato every time I think of you - the song, not the person, or any person at all.

I discovered HOME because of this comfy Kimmel performance and died over the camaraderie and obvious ties they have as a family.

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Plus a blue-themed home, uh, have you seen my bedroom, sir?

Boy With Luv will cheer me up any time of day - no thoughts but blue haired Tae and bubblegum pink haired #Jimim, indeed. (That mirroring of a glow-up from the 상 남자 of Boy In Luv is genius. Girl, ‘m not begging for you no more, but letting you know that I’m whole and ready and intent on keeping you safe.)

Spring Day I listened to on an off day in October and wrenched my own heart over the lyrics, even starting off a chapter in one of my fics with the verses that hit me most in particular.

The ON:E concert re-introduced me properly to Filter, My Time (sexy personified as a performance), Persona, Interlude: Shadow, Ego, UGH!, Moon (Prince Kim Seokjin - you have my heart, and my light, always), and 00:00 (picked up through Twitter that it was the song for personal therapy and reminded me of that quote - nothing good ever happens between midnight and 2am, go to sleep. Add 2!3!, which I’d properly listened to after viewing the ON:E exhibit, to this and we are done.)

It wasn’t until I listened to Blood, Sweat, and Tears that I went full-blown head over heels (more than I was before). I’m a musical theater kid, have always been at heart, and those boys dancing in the suits and literature and arts references. You could have just plunged that knife a bit deeper into my heart.

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Needless to say that I bought Demian couple of days after (my 3rd Herman Hesse! Regrettably not my favorite.)

Blood, Sweat and Tears joins my own mini self-compilation of songs on the attraction and sublime relishing of a toxic relationship. That sweet temptation that’s so lush in theory yet acidic in real life.

You’re willing to give it all to this person, this passion, this love, this lure of attraction, imprisonment, and just lose yourself.

You’re begging to be hurt, even when you know it.

You’re asking to stay bathed in acid, drown yourself in punishment, and you’re okay. As long as the “you” in the lyrics is ok - to have you.

You’ve signed over your mind, your body and soul - “I know well they’re all yours” - what sinful admittance, what a delicious way to say you’re under the other’s spell. Not like I haven’t been there before (fitting to think of Jimin holding that apple. God.)

“Peaches and Cream/Sweeter than Sweet/Chocolate Cheeks and Chocolate Wings” - talk about dessert, about diabetic, diabolical sweetness that both indulge and burn your soul. These are saccharine metaphors and goddamn if I wasn’t and am all over them.

Sweet as they are, they melt - they expire, they’re tangible but transient, and you’ve chosen to have them anyway, just to taste them, just to know, to satisfy your sense and just to possess.

“There is a ‘bitter’ next to your ‘sweet’“ - this is my kind of writing. My kind of getting your sweet now and being punished for it later, the kind my friend had commented before of living for today and choosing to forgo the punishments of tomorrow that you’re all too aware of.

And here comes Hoseok!

Kiss me, it's okay if it hurts Just make it as tight As that I can't feel the pain anymore

Goddamn. That Blade Runner 2049 phrase about how pain makes you human - this is next level of hurting just so you could feel. This is hurting to know that it’s real - that the ‘you’ exists - and this “tightness”, this tense sensation, is only reminding you that the lover(?) is worth the pain (grit your teeth and continue!)

Baby, it's okay if I get drunk I'll drink you in deep now Deep into my throat The whiskey that is you

Intoxication - another one of my favorite topics sprouting a platitude of interpretations. Aside from being a sucker (and loving it myself) of saying “baby,” (signaling intimacy, no less) - this is an artful, eloquent way to sketch another version of “love is the/a drug,” which the lover/”you” is consciously consuming with consent.

There’s a repeat in the “d’s” that definitely conjures an imagery of diving deeper and deeper into a bottomless abyss, or of drinking your bottles dry - but this is a translation so that’s that.

But where we have been (or were) in love, we could feel the other person intoxicating, consuming us, consuming our senses, straying our conscience, blurring the lines among reality, reasoning and our own thoughts and what they may have driven us to think or view, just like alcohol or drugs would lead you to do. That inebriated state would be just a self-enriching cycle of docile submission and self-driven continuance.

It doesn't matter if it hurts Tie me up so I can't escape Hold me tight and shake me up So that I can't come to my senses

Like Jimin with the cloth over his eyes in the MV, this is another conscious decision to be held imprisoned, bounded, senses so disrupted you’re choosing to stay. I don’t know about you, but there’s an inkling of weakness in me when I’d chosen to do that, to opt for that choice and stay in something I was fully aware from experience wasn’t going to last (’can’t come to my senses’) but choosing to blind myself to indulge in the fleeting sweetness anyway.

When you’re making that firm and persistent decision to beg for pain and consciously choosing to numb your senses so you could feel nothing else but what you may have thought you desire to feel - you’ve got it bad, baby. That absinth’s hit you hard.

(And we love it.)

Kiss me on the lips A secret just between the two of us Deeply poisoned by the jail of you I cannot worship anyone but you and I knew The grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway

Yoongi’s “Kiss me”, like his “불타오르네” (and obviously “용서해줄게“) in Fire may as well linger in my ears as my personal on-demand whisper sounds. His voice is that sexy as fuck ASMR I never knew I needed (and queue Ben Whishaw’s...)

Here we see “poisoned” harking back to intoxication, and “jail of you,” calling back to the whole verse I’d interpreted above before. What interested me here was the couplet - “Kiss me on the lips/a secret just between the two of us” - kissing as an act of sealing a deal or secret reminds me of age old love songs, of promises made between lovers before they part. Not to mention, this is that sexy, 섹시한 way of “sealing the deal” you may have heard about.

“I cannot worship anyone but you...” holds the lover up high, almost godlike, maybe on a pedestal. It’s that everest, that peak point when you’re more than head over heels in love, when you’re able to see no one but this person. “Worship” is that word signaling holy, direct, and submissive devotion - just powerful.

“...and I knew/The grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway” - again the voice of submission in line with above verses, submitting yourself to temptation, same as biting into that apple despite knowing consequences. “Grail” embodies the whole MV image of the classics.

Close my eyes with your caress I can't resist it anyway I can't even escape anymore

You are too sweet, too sweet Because you are too sweet

“Close my eyes” is the same as asking to be blinded (see above). Adding “with your caress” only enhances the intensity of the speaker’s desire, of the intimate and physical nature - you know full well what that person does to you, your heart, conscience, and senses with just one simple touch or the trace of a finger on your skin - especially someone as addicted to skinship as I am. The repetition “You are too sweet...” brings us back full circle to Namjoon’s dessert verses, intoxication, indulgence, and submission.

What a delicious song. I fall in love every time I listen.

Second song in my trilogy is Love Maze - an intoxication of a different, lighter flavor yet still an an intoxication nevertheless.

youtube

Trapped in a maze of decisions Exhausted by all the different chaos We’ve wandered around, looking for the answer Lost in the maze, in the darkness

Jimin’s first verse traverses over the trials and tribulations of every day life - naturally we’re caught in decision-making from the moment we open our eyes (ah, sigh. my major. what the hell), and that, in extreme cases, can escalate to choice paralysis). Life is a mess, to say simply. At times you can feel (and you are) lost in some sort of maze which seems impossible to escape from.

[Verse 2: Jungkook] We ran and ran endlessly But all the fake noise Can’t tear us apart It’s true baby [Refrain: Jimin, Jin] We must believe only in ourselves Can’t let go of each other’s hands We need to be together forever

And now this is just asking your partner to hold your hand throughout the darkness, holding hands while the walls come tumbling down type of way.

[Verse 3: RM] People say That I’ll end up a fool But I don’t wanna use my head I don’t wanna calculate Love ain’t a business Rather like a fitness I’ve never been in a calculating love I know it’ll be cold like winter But I still wanna try

Yup, sure. Love isn’t logical, and we feel it when we feel it. This is a more considered version of love or succumbing to temptation/infatuation, compared to Blood, Sweat, and Tears, see here:

If you push me, I’ll fall, just raise me up again Even if I pull, you don’t have to come

Upon a close look, this is the more confident, the more ‘out-there’ you - like a rocking doll, a full human ready to get back up on its own once fallen, not a blind follower or submissive slave. What I find particularly captivating is the bottom verse - “Even if I pull, you don’t have to come” - this is a show and declaration of independence at its finest. I’ll woo you, I’ll say I want you, and I’ll grab you toward me, but you “don’t have to” be with me, [if you don’t want to.] (Plays I’m Fine)

No matter what others say, don’t listen Just let’em talk, whatever they say The more they do, the more I’m sure

Honestly this reminded me of a past relationship, where figurative hand-holding was the emphasized union to help us make it through. Would have been half the fight if it was that aspect alone, though.

Baby just don’t give a damn

This is the sentence I sing to every single time I play this aloud. The sentence.

I always think, even if eternity is hard I wanna try it, let’s be forever

My ex once asked, “How long is forever?” just ripping off that sign in a mall we walked past, and yes, that’s what I do remember about us. Part of it. Since then, mentions of eternity like this has always hit me.

And forever doesn’t exist, guys. COVID does.

(Bad joke, sorry.)

The song that completes the trilogy is one I discovered only last week. My last BTS x Steve Aoki crossover: Waste It On Me.

Queue neon club lights and bad decision drinks. Kook being Kook, his voice in songs like these, House of Cards, and Savage Love slices you right through, like a young, impressionable boy asking you to give this love a try, to forget yourself in being attracted to him, and to waste the time you aware you’re willing to waste on him:

[Verse 1: Jungkook] You say love is messed up You say that it don't work But, you don't wanna try, no, no (You don't wanna try, no, no) And baby, I'm no stranger To heartbreak and the pain of Always being let go (Always being let go)

This verse, man. When your heart’s rusty and battered and beaten and broken enough, “Baby, I’m no stranger/to heartbreak and the pain of always being let go,” is that overwhelming elixir to slosh it altogether, like soaking your lone damn heart in warm bathwater, and with Jungkook’s inviting voice, you may have added your favorite flavor of Lush bathbomb.

[Pre-Chorus: Jungkook, RM & Jimin] And I know there's no making this right, this right (This right) And I know there's no changing your mind, your mind (Your mind) But we both found each other tonight, tonight (Oh yeah) So if love is nothing more than just a waste of your time

It’s that exact moment when it’s the night of your birthday, you’re all dressed up with only one place to go in a town where you knew a handful of people, and the guy at the bar had bought you a shot of mysterious substance to drink. So you’re here. So he’s here. And the drink’s here, between you two, and you’ve downed it in. And you’re here.

So why not?

‘Waste it on me’ is a sexy invitation in itself, that momentarily grasp for pleasure. Ok, yea. I’m all yours.

Tonight.

[Verse 2: RM] So we don't gotta go there Past lovers and warfare It's just you and me now (Yeah, yeah) I don't know your secrets But I'll pick up the pieces Pull you close to me now (Yeah, yeah)

Namjoon’s voice has always been sexy to me. Masculine, dominating, in control, in the same way that Yoongi’s raspy, gravelly voice grabs you and stubbornly holds you close.

Maybe this guy you’d just met in a club’s blabbering away to pierce who you may have been or who you’re presenting yourself to be just for you to be with him, and takes ahold of your waist before you could say no.

What do you say?

Yay, don't you think there must be a reason? Yeah, like we had our names Don't you think we got another season That come after spring? I wanna be your summer I wanna be your wave Treat me like a comma I'll take you to a new phrase Yeah, come just eat me and throw me away If I'm not your taste, babe, waste Waste it on me

I’m speechless over the “Treat me like a comma, I’ll take you to a new phrase,” wordplay. Most of all, it illustrated my past relationship in that all too on-the-nose way, for me and him both. English is sexy, man, please don’t ever say it isn’t.

“Yeah, come just eat me and throw me away/If I’m not your taste, babe.” I’m partial to babe as much as baby, let’s be real. Haha. The whole “come just eat me” paints that picture of the speaker being “consumed,” just devoured whole (echoing the earlier image of being “washed over” from “I wanna be your wave”) by the to-be-lover, without a care, a giving-himself-away submission reminiscent of Blood, Sweat, and Tears’ intoxication and blind bondage. The speaker here doesn’t even care if he’s not tailored to the ‘lover’s’ desire, ready to be discarded, treating himself here as disposable, even worse than Love Maze’s partnered hopefulness and teamwork or Blood, Sweat and Tears’ irresistible, spellbound attraction.

Aaand there you have it, my ramblings on Bangtan (as of now). There’s just so, so much - I’ve recently received my HYYH Pt.1 (RIMBAUD! SEXY CONVERSE!!! BOYZ with FUN!) and YNWA albums, not to mention my rap line songs, vocal line, In the Soop, Performance details, Run BTS (source of joy and laughter, more than any man has ever affected me), Premiums, and the whole “Love Yourself” concept + B.E. Itself.

I’ll be sure to pop back in very, very soon!

#BTS

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phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess · 7 years ago

Text

so at current we have three doggos, one is a foster who has (through a lot of care and affection and training) reached a point where she is ALMOST ready for adoption to a furever home...

but there’s an emergency foster coming to us tomorrow, the poor little old doggo was horribly mistreated and the heartless cunts that had her left her to starve for 3 weeks in the hopes she’d die or run off... i don’t know how you can curse someone without knowing their names or faces, but i’ll find a way

she’s obscenely thin from the photos, but we’ll give her anything the vet decides (our doggos usually eat optimum dog food, appropriate to age, or age-appropriate and supplemented with puppy stuff, if they’re rake-thin and need to gain weight) but if there’s something else that will help, we’ll make it happen

there are so many foster families desperately trying to look after as many as they can, and some of the dogs and cats they rescue have such horrific backgrounds you just want to find the people who hurt them and peel their flesh off as they scream for mercy, have them look into eyes that say ‘you don’t deserve that, do you?’

they have been beaten, neglected, starved, whipped, burned, left to die of injuries or illnesses because ‘we can just get a new (animal) for cheap’, they are little old doggos and kitties who have known only one family their entire lives but apparently their age is now inconvenient and they’re turned in for a newer model (literally, people bring their old dog in to the pound, adopt a puppy and walk out, they can go straight to hell), abandoned at the side of the road, left to die somewhere bc they’re just a Thing and not part of the Family, the ones who were presents... up until people realised there’s EFFORT in raising an animal... bc puppies/kittens are BABIES and need to be taught how to live and feel safe... etc.

and the thing is... even the most damaged dogs and cats, the ones who can’t sit still, the ones who snap and growl and quiver in fear, even the ones who tear things apart, the ones who can’t stand the sight of men or raised voices or sudden movements or physical contact...

they all have the capacity for love

maybe it’s not the way you would anticipate, but it is there.

for example, an extremely anxious/damaged little fluffball of a doggo being cared for by an experienced carer... after six months of being unable to trust contact (spending the first few weeks hiding under the couch shaking with fear) actually came up to her human dad, as he was laying on the floor with her, and licked his head. She ran at the attempt of further contact (raised hand), but it really said, in her own way, that she felt safe there. She has sat on a lap and licked again, since, apparently; and her carer(s) are over the moon about it, because they never though it would happen

our foster fail (pupper we ended up adopting bc we couldn’t let her go) was so thin, and so scared when we got her; sometimes she still gets frightened, but she comes to get one of us if that happens. She knows she’s safe, and loved.

our current foster pupper, willow, was neglected and abused and terrified of everything. its a long story, but she was given to us as a complex case that needed care, and she’s come so far in a few months. from hitting the floor and submitting at every noise or movement, to only occasionally if very freaked (thunder, random fireworks going off with no warning -fucking carols by candlelight), she doesn’t destroy as much (attention seeking and anxiety behaviours), she doesn’t fight with her doggo siblings but instead plays, she can follow basic commands, she has lost a lot of the excess she came with (through proper mealtimes and games, occasional treats), little fucker is ridiculously smart too so she’s a challenge...

for example, now she’s less rotund than before... the little bugger realised she can slip through the dog fence. it’s like an octopus, she pops her head through, a leg, and zoop, out. she never goes anywhere, just sort of sits out there being smug, until we find her, the sneaky devil. or climbs on chairs to look out of things, or jumps on the bench when the humans aren’t looking to sneak things. etc.

very clever, and she’s confident enough to show that, now.

i had a point, but i think i forgot, but basically... do not get a pet for a gift, don’t get one if it doesn’t fit in with your lifestyle (this whole ‘on a chain out the back their whole life’ thing is BULLSHIT), you hesitate at the thought of dealing with an old dog, you are getting it to ‘teach the kids about death’ (heard that more than once), you only think its a thing you should have but don’t really want, you only want an animal that fits specific expectations (eg won’t bark, or wee on the rug, or chew your shoes, etc.) bc they all do that, at some point... etc.

people are cruel, and while there is no way to shove all of the offenders in a blender to atone for their sins (pear wiggler machine broke), the animals they hurt can be helped.

Do not get an animal unless you know what you’re doing, understand the effort and expense (worming, flea baths -do not use collars they can kill, food/meals, water containers and bowls, toys, beds, specialist shaving/fur trimming, accidental vet trips and annual check-ups and vaccinations, incidental issues, kitty litter, pooper scoopers, leads/leashes/harnesses, etc.), treats, training pads, understand that puppies/kittens will need training bc they are BABIES who need to be taught just like toddlers do (they will mess up but that’s normal, we all shat in nappies at one stage of our lives and no one holds that against us), that dogs/cats age and require different things, that they need stimulation and play, safety and shelter, love and affection, patience and understanding, boundaries and rules, etc. Just like kids.

Understand this animal joins your family, it becomes a part of it. It is a commitment, and you need to understand that the second they join your family it is your responsibility to care for them. From puppy or kitten to little elderly doggo or kitty who can’t hear all that great and sometimes pees on the rug bc of mild incontinence. It happens, it might be a little annoying or stressful,m but you deal with the situation. You are the only people they have known, the only family they have been part of and loved, they love you their entire lives (sometimes they are hyper-affectionate, other times animals show it by simply feeling safe enough to fall asleep near you, they’re individuals), so the most important thing is not abandoning them for something younger, newer, cuter.

Do not get an animal, unless you understand that this little life is dependant on you. You feed/wash/clean up after/play with/care for/love them all their lives, keep them healthy and safe... and it will not always be easy, but it is always worth it. If you make that commitment, you can’t just cast them aside when they’re no longer fun, when they’re no longer young and chipper, when they become ‘a hassle’. They’ve dealt with your shit this whole time, too, and you haven’t been kicked to the curb...

TL; DR - Do not get an animal unless you are prepared, informed (or willing to learn about how to care for them), and committed to caring for them their entire life. They are your family, and they will love you if you treat them properly.

There are too many damaged foster animals who have had physical, emotional and psychological abuse in their lives; who just need love, understanding, boundaries and kindness. Where ‘no’ means ‘stop that’ and not ‘I’m gonna hurt you for not doing what i wanted!’. Don’t contribute to their suffering, be sure you are in a good place in order to have an animal and be able to meet their needs.

Don’t ever get an animal as a gift unless there has been significant discussion about the situation beforehand; and please, stop leaving kids with animals, some kids are just the worst because they may not comprehend that a puppy/kitten (also a baby) is not a toy, and that’s why they do awful things.

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aurantia-ignis · 7 years ago

Note

Velvet and Magilou and Eizen for the meme, please!

That’s a lot haha. Going under cut for spoilers!

Velvet

First impression

She looks like a typical emo edgy character. On top of that, the whole revenge thing just made her seem like a female Sasuke. I was so apprehensive about her because it is so easy to write such a character badly. Also, her clothes are absolute fanservice and that really sucks.

Impression now

I love her, She got some really amazing character development. Hitting all the important points aside, the way they executed her writing was so emotional and beautiful, and I really, really appreciate how her character growth was tied directly to the plot. Not many video games do that.

Favorite moment

Ummm there were quite a few… but for Velvet herself, I think I loved the ending the most. She knew that she had committed many sins in her quest to kill Artorius, and she knew she had to pay for that. She acknowledged that. She also knew that it was selfish of her to make the choice to eat and be eaten by Innominat, leaving Phi to live. But despite knowing that, she made her choice. I find that extremely beautiful… and very, very human.

Idea for a story

WELL SHE KIND OF “DIES” AT THE END SO THERE CAN BE NO SEQUEL. ;___; But originally, I’d wanted to see Velvet make a choice between saving Laphicet and fulfilling her revenge. In canon, her revenge itself was rendered meaningless due to Innominat, and while I do like that as well, I’d really have loved to see her make a conscious choice between killing Artorius and saving Phi. I’d like to see her decide that vengeance was not as important as keeping someone important to her alive.I also want all the happy family AUs, but then again, in AUs she wouldn’t have gone through all that beautiful character development ;w;

Unpopular opinion

I don’t ship her romantically with anyone. Although I joke about crack Velcro because of the ship name, I honestly didn’t see her (or any of the others in Main Cast Berseria) doing anything (in canon) that is considered undeniably romantic. But I love the whole main cast coming together as a really unorthodox family, supporting each other and caring for each other.

Favorite relationship

Her and Phi, of course.

Favorite headcanon

Someday in future, Sorey and Maotelus find a way to deal with all the aftermath, then wake Velvet for a final goodbye, and then she, Innominat and Maotelus are put to eternal rest.

Magilou

First impression

Interesting design, although not my favourite style. Typical joke character.

Impression now

Much as I appreciate her character development points, I wasn’t fond of the way it was executed. It felt rushed and squashed mostly into one tiny segment of the whole game, which made it very difficult for me to really like her. Personality wise, she makes me laugh whenever she interacts with the rest of the Berseria party, but she’s not my favourite type of character either.

Favorite moment

Probably her crowning moment of glory? When she stood before Melchior to protect her adopted family and ensure that they have a safe way out of the Earthpulse. You go, girl, admit that you love them.

Idea for a story

I’m not sure I have any ^^;

Unpopular opinion

Basically what I wrote above about her character writing execution. ^^; I know a lot of people love her and her development, and i do get why, but I just can’t… get over how badly it was done :

Favorite relationship

Her and Bienfu and Grimoire, I think. But also her with the rest of the Berseria cast.

Favorite headcanon

I don’t think I have any for her, sorry ^^;

Eizen

First impression

IT. IS. EDNA’S. BROTHER. WE. KNOW. WHAT. HAPPENS. TO. HIM. IN. THE. END. HOLY YULIAJSOJESOJASOIENAKEAlso Edna said Sorey reminded her of her brother but this guy looks nothing like that happy cinnamon roll type?

Impression now

Okay the similarity is explained because they’re both nerds over archaeology. This guy is such a dork On top of that I really, really, REALLY love him. Eizen doesn’t get very clear character development in the game, which is a shame. But his personality, his beliefs, they appeal to me a great deal. I love how they didn’t simply make him an overprotective older brother who left his sister to protect her, because of his curse. Although that seems to be the case on the surface, Eizen’s problem is more complex than that. He realised that he didn’t want to go back to living with Edna on the mountain because he loves adventuring and exploring with the Aifread pirates. He was being selfish, and that’s okay. I do imagine that after the whole battle with Innominat and Artorius ended, he’d start to visit Edna once in a while, but continue his travelling with the Van Eltia, because that’s the life he wants.

Favorite moment

Oh no I have two that I can’t choose between. 1. “Laphicet, tell this self-absorbed idiot what she needs to hear!” The way he slammed his chains into the ground and held Phi… He knew what his two team members needed. And he was right there to support them. 2. When he stood before Theodora and told Zaveid all those home truths. In the words of Eep from the Croods, ‘That wasn’t living! That was just…. “Not Dying”!’ He knew that, and he had to show that to Zaveid, too.

Idea for a story

HE ALSO DIES IN ZESTIRIA everyone I love dies, basically.But I’d love to see him journeying around on the Van Eltia with the Aifread pirates even after Berseria. He strikes up quite a friendship with Zaveid, who begins travelling with them as well. And from time to time, they visit Maotelus at his shrine with some of the stuff they collected on their travels. Zaveid tries to teach him all sorts of things Velvet wouldn’t have approved of. Eizen smacks him.

Unpopular opinion

I love the fact that he died in the end. I wouldn’t have wanted him saved, like in the ZX anime, because that defeats the point of his entire character arc. He believed in living his life to the fullest, doing what he wanted to do, no matter what his curse or the malevolence system did. And he was perfectly willing to die after he had lived that life. I think that’s how it should be for sentient beings. Malaks/seraphs living forever is just ridiculous, but that species being so horribly crafted is another can of worms that I won’t open here XD; Also ditto on the romantic relationship business, particularly with Rokurou or Zaveid. :/

Favorite relationship

Him and Benwick and the rest of the Aifread pirates, as well as him and the Berseria party. Also him and Zaveid, although mostly in the future, since they were clashing far too much to really get along properly during most of the canon story.

Favorite headcanon

As seen above! He’d also give Benwick’s kids and grandkids toys from far-off places. Benwick tells them that the Earth Fairy brought them.

#thank you for asking #berseria #tales of #tales of berseria

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overdrivels · 7 years ago

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Take It to the Grave (Drabble)

Remember when I said I had a coroner!reader thing in the works? This is it. It’s just a ‘what if’ thing: what if Jack knew about the attack on Swiss Headquarters and planned to fake his death anyway? As is expected with this sort of thing, mentions of death and dead bodies.

A shadow of a person falls over the headstone at the top of the hill that reads, ‘Here lies Jack Morrison, Commander, Overwatch’. Soldier: 76 stares down on it, taking a moment to read the inscription before closing his eyes and steeling his nerves.

Quietly, he kneels in front of it, hands together in silent prayer. He could recount the events unfolding as though it were yesterday. The sins of what he asked you to do weighs in his chest like an old stone–heavy, and damn near permanent.

He had told everyone he needed to go down to the morgue to identify a body–he could tell that Angela didn’t believe him, but she had no proof, no choice, not when she’s needed by so many people all at once. If Gabriel were here, he’d be the first to call him out on his bullshit–a commander does not need to do things like that–but he hasn’t had a good look at him in weeks. And Ana? Well, hopefully, she’s in a better place now.

Everything’s been going to hell in a hand basket, and he’d be happy if he were the only one to get caught up in it. Soon, the secrecy can be over, and soon, justice will be served.

He hoped.

The trip to the morgue was a short one–it was built nearby for convenience sake, and the one at the on-site hospital was only meant for temporary storage.

The receptionist was quick to get you when he came in, and you were quick to respond, greeting him with a warm, jovial smile that didn’t quite seem to reach your eyes.

“Good evening, Mr. Morrison, we’ve been expecting you. Would you like some tea or coffee before we begin?“

Professional, but still personable. He doesn’t know whether he’s grateful that you’re this way or very tired of it.

He shook his head and held up a hand. “No need, director. I just came to do what I have to do.”

You merely nodded before you began to lead him through the little facility. He’s been here many times before, having to pay respects to some unfortunate young soul that was snatched up by death too early, to console families who blamed him for the loss of their child, their spouse, their beloved. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, trying to stem the vivid memories that accompanied these drab walls like a poltergeist.

He was never going to sleep well at night and he’s long resigned himself to such a reality.

But you, you have always overseen these ceremonies and duties with steadfast professionalism: cremations, embalming, burials, even the social interaction parts that Jack would’ve never guessed would be necessary for a job like this. He wondered sometimes if the ghosts of those bodies you handled ever haunt your dreams. He couldn’t imagine the horror.

You glanced back at him as though you sensed his unease, but to his infinite relief, you said nothing and continued to guide him down into the basement. It grew noticeably colder, even with his coat on.

You both entered through a door that required your biometrics and a few keys--a bit old fashioned, but it would protect against would-be cyberattacks that took the building’s electricity offline, at least for some time. The room looked like a smaller version of an operating room with square, metal doors that lined the entirety of the walls. He could take a gander at what lay inside them.

The door swung shut behind you both, the echo of it cementing a feeling of absoluteness--you were both held in here, surrounded by corpses in an unsettling room that serves as a stop for a body’s journal to their final resting place. It was sobering, and made the hair on his neck stand on end.

“Rest assured, Mr. Morrison. You are safe here,” you said gently, smiling at him again. He doesn’t know how reassuring such words were when the two of you were literally surrounded by--well, he supposed there couldn’t be much danger from the dead.

You pointed at each door in a specific order, counting mentally before you came to the door you required.

“I believe this person will suffice for your purposes.”

You opened the door–he could tell it was heavy, but you didn’t betray any sign of a struggle–and pulled out the contents. A cadaver covered in a modest white sheet. There was no stench of death or blood. The contrast of his memories and the imagery before him was jarring. He clenched his jaw tight, a feeling of repulsion rushing through him--not because of the body, but what he was going to do to it.

Either out of consideration him or for the body, you did not pull the sheet back for him to see. The commander was very used to death, of course, it was practically part of the job description, but it didn’t mean that he liked it or wanted to be near it anymore than necessary.

“He is very similar in build to you–came in just last week,” you said matter-of-factly. “We’ve been trying to get family to identify the body, but no one has stepped forward.”

“This is–” If he didn’t burn in hell for what he had to do to protect Overwatch, he’d surely burn for this. “--I’m sorry,” he breathed hoarsely, “for forcing you to compromise your morals.”

You looked at him with a look he could almost remember his parents giving him when he left Indiana for the first time–resigned yet resolute--and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Mr. Morrison. You came to me because you trusted me. I wish to repay that kindness.”

Jack was keen enough to notice that you did not deny or affirm his claim. But if you weren’t going to mention it, neither would he. It was hard enough as it already were. After all, it was more than just his life that hung in the balance. Your’s, your staff’s, all of Overwatch would crumble and be crushed if he didn’t do this. Mentally, he thanked you profusely for the blasphemy you were going to commit at his command. Outwardly, he balled up his fists, willing to keep his feelings of turmoil at bay.

The attack at the Swiss Headquarters was to take place in a couple of days. He already knows that that’s where his enemies plan to bury him along with everyone else. He just had to make sure that everyone made it out safely and that ‘he’ was the only casualty, hence the preparation of this poor soul by your hand in absolute secrecy.

Without your cooperation, he wouldn’t have a chance at pulling this off.

He entrusted you with this knowledge–knowledge that he couldn’t even share with Ana while she was still alive or Gabriel. It hurt so much, god, it hurt when they accused him of forgetting Overwatch’s purpose, of being a puppet, of understanding nothing when that’s the furthest thing possible from the truth. By making the world believe he was dead, maybe the blame would die with him, and then, he’d be able to move freely to find the bastards who decided to screw around with the lives and happiness of those he had come to call a family.

“Will you have trouble bringing this to Zürich?” he asked finally.

You barely blinked, impassive as always. “Arrangements have been made for an affiliate to receive us. There should be no issues.”

“And planting it?” This part was going to be difficult even for an Overwatch agent--you were just a funeral directory, a coroner, nothing more.

You looked at the body, and he noticed your grip on his shoulder had become tighter.

“Rest assured. When it happens, we just have to make sure we’re the ones who secure the body. Just be sure your will clearly states you wish to be cremated.”

“It is.” But he has no choice. He had to do this.

“Excellent, then we will handle everything else on this side.”

“I’m counting on you.” It sounded more like a plead to his ears than it did an assurance, but you smiled at him all the same.

“Yes.” You paused for a moment as if debating you next words. You shook your head and smiled again at him, this time, with more emotion than he’s seen all day. “Please stay in good health, sir.”

“...I’ll try.”

#working on literally everything else except what I'm supposed to be working on #jack morrison #reader #death death death and more death #my writing

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fffinnagain · 7 years ago

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Expected Snap

I got a ficlet request from @privatelyvex and it turned into a lot more words than expected. The prompt was #141. “I don’t care if your 4 or 40, you don’t hit people.” And out came this story of John confronting Eurus after she attacks Sherlock (again).

Warning: This dabble touches on domestic violence from the perspective of the aggressor. I’m not trying to make excuses for anyone, nor do I claim any great insight into PTDS or other psychological factors that might realistically explain Eurus or John’s behaviour. I’m just trying to work the consequences of S4 into my understanding of these characters. Hence John being rather darker here than a lot of fandom takes.

Title: Expected Snap

Characters: John, Mycroft, Eurus, Sherlock (marginally)

Tags: Post S4, POV John, Sherrinford, Dealing with The Lying Detective, John’s dark past, Johnlock Agnostic, sort of happy ending?

Rating: Teen (or higher? I don’t know how people rate on violence.)

Word count: 1190

It took two years, but it was going to happen eventually. So said Mycroft:

“He was asking for trouble, stepping into her cell. We have protocols for a reason.”

So said Mrs. Hudson:

“I didn’t want to say so earlier because it’s his choice. But I’d understand if you encouraged him not to go back. He needs to take care of himself first.”

John had also expected Eurus to attack Sherlock at some point in their violin lessons, but that didn’t prepare him for the urgent call from Sherrinford. In two hours, he had arranged for Molly take Rosie overnight, found cover for his surgery shift the next day, and was on a helicopter back to that godforsaken island he had hoped to never see again.

Sherlock looked a mess. Broken nose, black eye, cracked ribs, broken fingers, and an ugly abdominal stab wound that had been made with the remains of his own bow. But he was stable, and asleep. The medical staff of Sherrinford had worked through the worst of it, defaulting to morphine to dull the pain. Hm. So Sherlock mustn’t have been responsive when they’d started, and Mycroft hadn’t thought to keep copies of his medical records here. Withdawal was going to make him an even greater pain in the arse as he healed, but even that pain in the arse was better than what might have been…

Mycroft stepped into the small med room and cleared his throat. John snapped to attention and turned to look at him, but said nothing.

“John. I’m sorry for alarming you with my first call. I’ve just come from meeting with the surgon here, and it seems none of the damage should be permanent. Thankfully. Eurus is being treated for a broken arm, under armed surveillance, of course.”

John turned back to stare at Sherlock and clenched his jaw.

“Any idea what provoked this?”

“Not yet. According to the footage, Eurus seemed to be giving him feedback on finger positions when she jumped him. Considering how much his tuning has improved in the last few weeks, I doubt the trigger was a musical one.”

Sherlock’s heart monitor cointinued to beep steadily. God, but John was tired of looking at him in a hospital bed.

“I want to speak to her.”

“That’s not a good idea, John.”

John skoft. “You think *I* don’t realise how dangerous she is? Put us in a glass divided room, leave guards outside, I don’t care, but I WILL to speak to EURUS.”

****

It was hard for John to resist smiling at the sad state of Sherlock’s little sister, sitting on the floor in the middle of her cell. Her neck showed red scratch marks, and a gash on her forehead that had been stapled closed. Her left arm was already in a plaster cast, and a heavy bandage was wrapped around the toes of her right bare right foot. Was it safe to put splints around her bones and joints? Maybe not, as they appeared to have swaddled her injuries instead.

John had known a lot of violent people. There were a few in his family (surprise surprise) and he could always find one or two rough guys on a rugby team. Or rather they found him and then he made sure they regretted their initial attempt at intimidation by stepping in to play the hero for everyone else. The army was plenty more people who enjoyed the violence they had license to commit. (A limited license, sure, but license all the same.) Some even argued that war and warfare justified the existence of heartless sadistic bastards, although John wasn’t quite convinced. When a confirmed arsehole had gotten shot, or had lost an arm, or had a lung flooding with blood, John changed his gloves and got to work because a life is a life and that’s what doctors do. But after following Sherlock around for years, John wondered if he could do that again, to hold judgement and heal when a bad one could just as easily be left to rot. Maybe it was good that his current medical practice kept him far away from those split second life or death decisions.

When John had first been shown in, Eurus had glanced up and scooted around to turn her back on him. She didn’t feel like playing right now. Well, too bad for her.

“Eurus!”

Silence.

“Pretend all you want, but I know you are listening.”

Silence.

“How DARE you hurt the one person willing to help you. He did NOTHING but CARE.”

Silence. John clenched his fists.

“You petulant, thoughtless, brat. I wish you had some kind of life here so we could hold it back and teach you a lesson.”

At this Eurus finally snorted.

“A lesson, dear doctor. As if a fool like you had anything to teach me. Don’t treat me like a child.”

“I don’t care if you’re 4 or 40, YOU DON’T HIT PEOPLE.”

With a grunt, Eurus rose to her feet and turned. Her eyes glinted.

“Like YOU don’t hit people?”

She hobbled towards the glass.

“I know all about your little blow up, your ‘episode’ at that hospital morgue.”

Standing carefully at the three foot line, her face shifted into the patient concern of her therapist guise. With the faint Austrian accent, she continued: “As your therapist, I was more than disappointed at how you glossed the severity of your attack on our dear Sherlock. You didn’t even mention how you kicked him, how satisfying it was to feel his body absorb all of your force, and how delicately he shrank under the blows.”

John couldn’t stop himself flinching. He remembered. Of course, he remembered. That devastating day had worked itself into his scrolling marquee of nightmares. From his family and military history, John had known to be wary and had tried to keep his temper. He had seen the signs that previous night and pushed Rosie onto one more reluctant carer. He had thought that saving the world from yourself was the same as saving the world from everything else: stay calm, stay focus, and always be ready. But he hadn’t been enough to save Sherlock, not from the anger and pain and grief and infuriating powerlessness that grows in silence.

Eurus face sharped back to her usual scowl. “But you aren’t the bad person here, are you, Doctor? He forgave YOU and your tortured soul, accepted your excuses, absolve your sins. And you? Have you forgiven him for leaving you behind?“

John’s eyes snapped up to met hers again. With a deep breath, he relaxed shoulders, and then gave her a small rueful smile. “Mostly. I’ve mostly forgiven him, but it comes and goes.”

He leaned back on his heels. “We are not the same, Eurus. We never will be. But you’re right. We both know what it feels like to hurt people we love. And we both know something about being abandoned by those we need. If talking about it will help you avoid strangling Sherlock, well, he should be asleep for another hour, so I’m happy to start right now.”

#Eurus Holmes #John Watson #Finnagain writes #unbeta'd #ficlet #canon compliant

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