#also rattan I’m quite liking cause again FINALLY a lead I connect to

[mejomonster]

Help me I’m on ep 24 and I love this show too much:

Gu xiang is GENUINELY my favorite character. Hands down. I’d read so much of her story, I’d read epic novel lengths of her as the lead I. I am so emotional over her story. She’s my favorite kind of heroine - she grew up a monster, is fiercely loyal, she’s ruthless but also loving and has a heart of gold, she’s so much like Zhou zishu but younger and with more innocence life hasn’t quite ruined of her hope, while still seeing the world so much bleaker than cao weining does.

And how wen kexing and all the ghost valley women raising her shaped her... how beauty ghost told her to value the time she has with loved ones, so she’s coping with her own inner guilt and fear and willing to try. She’s so scared cao weining won’t love her and she won’t be able to keep him in her life but on a deeper level she’s worried she’s only someone who could be hated. Someone no one can see as a good person. That there’s lines in the sand and she’s on her side already and it’s not a side most people would ever care to even hear out or let exist in peace, let alone befriend. But she still wants to exist, she still wants there to be a way she can exist With these other people. With at least the ones she loves like cao weining, like Her new brother Zhang Chengling.

And the moment her and cao weining talked! How he said “you’ll kidnap me then!” And then she was like “who would” and he’s like “I’d kidnap you then!” When he’s insisting they’ll be together no matter what. It was so cute and heartbreaking and wholesome and overwhelming all at once (much like this whole show lol). And god I love them so much. I ship them more then I probably shipped anyone in Eternal Love, at least as much as I cared about the leads in Goodbye My Princess (and the kind of tragic setups of their lives different from each other sure seems familiar lol).

I loved that scene so much.

Also just. Still can’t get over how much Gu Xiang is like our lead hero Zhou Zishu, she has so many of the same fears, sees herself with that same kind of villain origin (even tho she’s probably not got as much innocent blood on her hands as he does, she still feels that guilt). And cao weining really is her own little Zhou zishus husband equivalent - like wen kexing, cao weining is direct with her and ride or die and decides she’s his soulmate pretty clearly and is COMMITTED. That boy is LOYAL. Loving, straight to the point, overt, intensely affectionate. And for all that he’s more innocent than wen kexing, the way he loves her is very much with his whole heart and resolved and I’m so glad gu xiang has that. It’s grounding and healing for her. It’s stable. It lets her be both her disguises and real self and feel safe, feel like she wants the companionship and the full life she wants to fight for.

Also the scene where wen kexing has a nightmare about joining the ghost valley oh god. 1 I love how Brave and Intense kid wen kexing was, you can tell that innate intensity and willingness to fight was there even as a kid, and 2 how xi sang gui sort of saved him and had a soft spot for him. I suspected that but it’s cool to see it confirmed, nice writing.

3 I loved that when he woke up, and Zhou Zishu said shidi.. he was probably talking about the Dead one from ep 1. The one who’s death caused him to drive the nails into himself, who’s death drove him to leave the window of heaven, who made him break. I love that the shidi referenced is almost certainly THAT one. A dead reminder of his sins, his guilt and grief and regret and loss. That he can’t turn back time, that it’s only forward, that his mistakes have been made. He has a new family he’s made now, and he’s trying to rebuild his home. But the past is gone. Wen kexing he might have met once in the past but for wkx this is all mostly new too. Wkx was mostly a stranger who was lost. But that Shidi Zhou zishu was crying out about was the one zzs the ADULT let die, was responsible for, loved. The one zzs has both this manor and his nails to remind him of. Wen kexing is his future, his new family who wakes him up and soothes him. His new connection to the world. It’s a lovely parallel between new and old, guilt and forgiveness. Zzs returning is him giving himself enough forgiveness to live. To rebuild. To trust himself with lives again. Surrounded in that room by Lao Wen and his new disciple... ;-; it was just such a nice past versus present character moment for both of them.

Also whenever he says Lao wen I feel like he’s saying husband wen. I know that’s not what it means but the vibe. I feel the vibe. ;-;

I also like Shen Shens reappearance honestly because him dealing with Zhang Chengling last episode also felt like a nice showcase of past and present for everyone.