#will try to start on chapter two tomorrow
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hwaslayer · 3 days ago
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wildfire (cs) | 7.5
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—spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.
—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 1.2k
—chapter content/warnings: not much here!!, cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, subtle flirting (in san's and oc's terms lmfao)
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—a/n: hi! just a friendly lil reminder that these half chapters are random scenes/bits that couldn't really fit into a chapter or stand-alone as one. they're mostly in the past and will not always follow the exact timeline of the previous or upcoming chapter!
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San booked off most of his day to help Christopher with this symposium. Well, actually, most of the group has [minus a select few others] in order to make room for the quick tech rehearsal and run through before its official start time in the next half hour or so. The staff is now bringing in the fruit, cheese and other pastries, along with coffee, tea and juice— setting them outside of the conference room on a long table. The symposium is supposed to be 5 hours, being that everyone keeps to their 20-min presentation + 10-min Q&A times. San is off to the side speaking with Jongho and Chris, while Mingi and Zara are fiddling with the AV system to test their own presentations for the final time. Even though this is the one time most of their schedules worked, Yeosang had to skip out due to heading overseas for a conference. As San sips on his coffee, Yunho and Iseul walk in alongside of Namjoon. Per usual, he keeps greetings to a bare minimum:
AKA, a very subtle smile and nod to both. One that Yunho reciprocates, one that Iseul doesn't like to acknowledge.
But, whatever.
"Did you guys tell your labs about this?" Chris nervously wipes his hands on his dress pants, nervous about how his first symposium is gonna turn out.
"Dude." Jongho laughs and pokes fun at him. "Relax."
"I bragged about it way too much, I don't even know if people wanna come anymore." San teases, making Chris shake him by the shoulders. "Relax! They'll come!"
"What if no one shows up? We'll be giving presentations to each other—" Chris laughs, but a few people start trickling into the conference room; providing him with a sense of relief. "Oh, thank god." The three start giving small nods to the students and other faculty dipping in, greeting them just as they set their things down and grab some food.
"Can't believe you actually thought people wouldn't come. Think you might need extra chairs." San points out as more people flood in.
"Shit, I did it." Chris beams from ear to ear, shifting his attention to two more familiar faces. "Oh! Hey Y/N, Jiung!" He says as the two of you walk towards their group, giving them very curt bows.
"Hi." You smile at all, especially San. He bites onto his straw, trying his hardest to hold back his smile.
"Thanks for coming."
"Of course! Got a good lineup, excited to hear all the presentations!" Jiung tugs on his backpack straps.
"In that case, send me a full report on it tomorrow." Jongho jokes, making Jiung playfully roll his eyes.
"Do you see how he treats me?" Chris and Jongho laugh.
"Nah, he's been talking a lot about the work you've been doing and how you're probably the best person to help get the rig together for our optical electrophysiology project."
"Aw, really?" Jiung looks at Jongho. "You mean it?" Jiung has stars in his eyes and Jongho can't help but deny the allegations. He has said it time and time again; Jiung is definitely doing great work and Jongho doesn't want him to go anywhere. If he could keep him for good, he would. He hopes he can.
He'd just never say it out loud cause he's like that.
"Hey now." He shakes his head. "I never said anything, I don't know what he's talking about." 
"We have a few minutes actually, let's talk about that real quick and follow up in another meeting later on." Chris looks at you. "Sorry to have to pull him away from you, Y/N. Professor Choi #2 can keep you company?"
"All good." 
"Be back." Jiung looks at you. "I'll save us those chairs." He points towards two end spots near the middle section. You awkwardly watch as Chris, Jongho and Jiung approach another professor to talk about said project, leaving you with San. 
"Hi." He says shyly. You've never seen him this way, and he's too fucking cute, too fucking charming. It makes you replay the dinner events in your head, only pushing your curiosity of what he'd be like if you two were completely alone. 
"Hi. Is that your nervous face poking out? Are you nervous?" You tease a bit.
"Me?" He playfully scoffs. "No. Dinner was more nerve-racking than this."
"What, why?" You giggle.
"Because it's you. I have to be extra careful with you, remember?"
"Right." You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, heat rising to your cheeks as your eyes glaze over his figure; he's dressed nicely in a white button up, tie and grey vest. They're all dressed nicely for the occasion, but it's definitely an extra weakness for you seeing San like this. 
"You're cute." He mutters as he bites his straw again and takes a sip of his iced coffee, eyes looking around the room to make his flirting not so obvious. And it isn't, except Yunho has been watching from the side while he waits for Iseul to finish up working through some presentation issues with IT. He didn't mean to, but his eyes gradually glazed over to the two of you smiling and laughing.
He can't help it, but the interaction feels different. The only time he's ever seen San that shy and flustered is when he was courting Iseul. It almost feels like he's watching something unfold all over again. 
"All good!" Iseul says, knitting her brows together when Yunho seems to be preoccupied. "You okay?" She asks, Yunho finally returning his attention to her.
"Yeah, sorry. Was just people-watching." Iseul looks over, eyes also falling on San but she doesn't necessarily get a chance to think much about it before Yunho is chiming in again. "Let's go grab some food before it starts." He laces his hand with hers and leads her to the end, front row seats.
Meanwhile, you've been too busy keeping your attention on San to care about everyone else. You're so tempted to nudge him, be a little affectionate with him. And it's taking everything in you to remind yourself who you are and where you are at.
"Stop it."
"Glad you actually made it, though."
"I told you I'd come."
"And I'm glad it wasn't just something you said to brush me off in the hallway." You laugh.
"No, never." Jiung wraps up his talk with the other professors, his eyes meeting yours with a small nod towards the seats he sat his bag down at. "Well, guess they're done. I'll see you later? Goodluck on your talk, Professor Choi." He smiles toothlessly at you.
"Thank you, Y/N." He watches as you walk off and meet Jiung, plopping down onto the seat as he debriefs you on his impromptu meeting. 
"Hm." Jongho hums and clears his throat, slowly walking over to his bestfriend while sipping his coffee.
"Yes?"
"Nothing." Jongho squints his eyes at him, a small chuckle leaving his lips. "Productive conversations going around, I see."
"Mhm." San chuckles, knowing exactly what Jongho's hinting at.
"Hey!" Zara comes over with a bright smile on her face. "We saved you some seats." She points at the front row on the left side, waving them over. "Come." 
"Sweet, thanks." Jongho leads the way while Zara tucks her hair behind her ear and walks alongside of San.
"Ready?" San shrugs as he looks at her.
"As can be."
"I'm sure it'll be great like always." He smiles.
"Thanks." He lets her slip into the seat next to Jongho before sliding into the end seat, eyes quickly glancing over at you before he gets situated and switches modes for the symposium.
Though, you are incredibly distracting, and he can only hope he can get you alone sometime soon just to show you exactly how he feels.
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—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thespiffynerd @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny
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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 1 day ago
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Mystery of love
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Previously / Next chapter
a/n I came from the dead to write this. So sorry for the wait. This is a heavy one… so buckle up.
summary: when two lost souls meet at their mutual friend’s party sparks fly, the question is if whatever they feel can actually bloom into something more? But that’s the mystery of love.
warning: toxic, abusive ex, blood, fighting, injuries, hospitals, manipulations.
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10 months ago
“Thank you for inviting me over”, Matt smiled at you. The room was cozy, light with candles, smell of freshly made meals surrounded you all. “Got to feed Emmy’s double date fantasy”, you teased, touching her hand across the table as she rolled her eyes. “I'm happy you are here Matt”, you threw your best friend’s boyfriend a smile. Deep down needing this sense of normality. Normal life. Normal relationships. You didn’t have much. Emmy had been the only one who stuck with you after it all went downhill.
“Can we eat?”, Dan’s cold tone, made a shiver run down your back but you had mastered a fake smile by then. One that pleased him enough to not start a stupid argument. “Sure, help yourself”, you handed him one of the bowls before turning to your guests once more.
“You guys went on to Paris, how was it?”, you chirped, putting food onto your plate. “I could gush for ages”, Emmy squealed, clasping her hands around Matt’s arm. It was the look of pure adoration on his face that made your heart ache. You could tell that he loved her. That what they had was real. “Matt was the tour guide, planned the whole…”, she was mid-sentence when Daniel quickly cut in, “You’re eating that?”, he motioned to your palate. “Dan”, you said through gritted teeth, feeling embarrassment creeping up your neck. He said nothing. Didn’t even react as he reached for your plate, switching it with his empty one.
“Wtf dude”, Matt cut in, eyebrows knitted together. “It’s okay he’s just messing around”, you chuckled, “Right, Dan”, your pleading eyes watched his concert-cold face a bitter smile on his lips, “You should follow Violet's diet”, he tapped your hand as if you were a toddler. Your stomach sank. You could see Emmy’s face across the table, the shock and disgust, written all over it.
“I'm sorry, I’ll refill this, don’t wait for me”, you pushed your chair back, reaching for a still-full pasta bowl. You needed to breathe for a moment. Pull yourself together. “Why the fuck are you causing a scene?”, Dan hissed beneath his breath, eyes wild as he followed you into the kitchen. “Why the fuck are you being an asshole?”, you pointed your finger at him angrily. “Bitch”, he grunted, “know your place do you hear me?” He was right in front of you now. Towering over your frame. “Or what?”, you hissed back at him.
“You walk out and not make a peep or tomorrow might be a hard day for you”, he lifted his hand, muscles tense. But you just watched him. “Sorry Emmy wanted water”, Matt’s voice filled the kitchen. “Help yourself dude”, Dan mused, eyes still on you, before he turned back, walking back to the table. You closed your eyes for a moment letting yourself breathe. “If you need help squeeze my hand as you walk past”, Matt muttered. You met his eyes then. A different look there than you were used to. “What are you on about everything is fine”, you laughed softly, feeling the sting in your eyes, “here I’ll grab the water”, placing a hand on his upper arm, fingers digging into his skin. He simply looked at you nodding softly that evening.
present time:
“Missed me?”, the sight of him alone made you nauseous. “Get out of my apartment”, you bit back, trying to keep your trembling hands as steady as possible. “Is that how you talk to the love of your life?”, a smirk spread across his lips. “Daniel, leave”, you shook your head, shoulders slumping. You were so tired of this. “What did you tell him?”, he asked firmly. “What?”, frowning you shook your head. “That boy of yours what does he know?”, and here it was, the thing that had you in a chokehold for months. His fear. “He knows nothing”, you clipped back bitterly.
“I have pictures of you two”, the six words made your stomach drop. “I can sell them for a pretty penny he’s pretty private isn’t he?”, he loved this, knowing that once again power over you. “You don’t have shit”, you spat back, praying that this was just once again another toxic game for him. Cold sweat ran down your back as you watched him slowly pull his phone out, scrolling till a satisfactory grin spread across his lips.
“Like this one the most”, he mused turning the screen to you. And here you two were. Last coffee date, your fingers in Noah’s hair, his hand holding onto your hips. You couldn’t see your face but you could tell it was him. You could see the love there. Something that had been missing between you and Daniel from the start. Anger bubbled within you as you lunged forward trying to grab his phone only to be met with a harsh shove.
“What did you tell him?”, gripping your upper arms Dan shook you. “Nothing you paranoid freak”, you barked back angrily. He reached out taking a fistful of your hair, “You will leave him or I will ruin him”, angry tears burned your eyes, “Fuck you, you’re not taking him from me as you did with everything else”. Dan let out a bitter laugh,“Oh, here we go again. Saint Y/n, the martyr. Always the victim. You never let anyone forget how much you’ve sacrificed.” You clawed at his hand reaching for a kitchen knife that wasn’t all that far away from you, “And you never let anyone forget how much of a selfish, spineless—-“
But you don’t get to finish your sentence as Daniel’s grip tightens around your upper arms. You move to push away, palms pressing against his chest and in the heat of the moment, he let go. In that brief, frantic moment. Making you lose your balance, your elbow brushed against the kitchen counter as you try to steady yourself. But the movement only sent you crashing into the not-yet-finished bookshelf lying on the floor. The sharp corner of the wood slammed into your temple with a sickening thud. Your vision blurred for a second, a wave of dizziness overwhelming you. Sounds turning fluffy as you tried to blink.
You reached out to touch your head, feeling warm sticky liquid trickling down your fingers. A blurry figure loomed over you. Squinting your eyes you tried to make out a face. Anything. Was he calling to you? Looking? You let your head fall into the fluffy rug. Slipping in and out of patches of black.
Noah always wanted that domestic feeling. Never had he thought that getting screws with a smile on his face would be in the cards for him. To have someone you were ready to climb mountains for. The bleak, repetitive reality was what he had been living in. Wake up. Write. Record. Sing. Sleep. Yes, he had his friend. Friends who had been family for years but he always yearned for more. For a person that was his. That made you want more. Who made it more.
A wash of blonde hair made Noah do a double take as he made his way back to the apartment complex. Emmy’s worried face filled his eyes before Matt stepped right beside her both clearly in a rush. “Hey, what are you both doing here?”, Noah called out making the pair turn. “Oh thank goodness you’re here”, Emmy let out a deep sigh, clasping her hands over Noah’s. “What’s going on?”, he couldn’t help but frown, sensing the urgency. The stress poured out of both of them in waves.
“Some mutual friends said that Daniel was causing trouble”, Emmy shook her head. “Usually that means that he ends up here”, Matt nodded towards the apartment building with that same unapproachable tightness on his face. One Noah knew was a sign of shit being seriously fucked.
“I’ve been with Yn all day”, Noah pointed out. “It’s just that…”,’ Emmy stated right as the front door swung open. “Shit..”, Matt grunted through clenched teeth, “Hey”, called out, making none other than Daniel do a double take. The fright in his eyes made Noah’s stomach turn. “Motherfucker “, cursing beneath his breath Noah lunged forward. Ripping at the door. Fingers tapping the elevator button relentlessly before giving up. Hand on the railing as he took three steps at the time.
“Yn”, he called into the dim hallway. Not giving two shits about the neighbors. “Yn”, he muttered, eyes falling on the ajar door that led to your apartment. He had been there. He had been there and Noah wasn’t. The ringing that echoed in his head made his stomach twist. It felt as if he was no longer in his own body. Watching it all from the side, urging himself to step forward. Books were scattered around the hallway. Some stacks were barely holding up. Noah stepped over them, heart hammering so loudly that he couldn’t hear himself calling out your name. “Baby”, he turned the corner and it’s as if someone sucked all the air out of his lungs. All he saw was blood. Red and red and red.
“No, no”, he muttered beneath his breath, sinking to his knees, as his hand reached to lay on top of yours. Pressing onto the open gash. “Hey, love, look at me, darling”, Noah coaxed softly, pushing the strands of hair that had stuck to your forehead. “Fuck”, Matt’s voice rang from behind, followed by a pained gasp, “Oh my god, what did he do”, Emmy kneeled on the other side, hands pressing against your shoulder. “Don’t move her”, Noah warned her.
“We need an ambulance”, Matt’s steady voice was drowned once again by the panic drumming within Noah. “It’s all okay, it will all be okay”, he soothed, trying to at least. Not sure what one should even say in situations like this. “Noo”, you grunted, squeezing your eyes shut. “I'm here it’s all okay”, Noah muttered, his other palm softly brushing your cheek. Trying to block out everything else. Emmy crying. Matt on the phone. Himself.
Five stitches. Three hours in the most atrocious hospital chair. He hated hospitals. Now even more so. Noah wasn’t sure what he was feeling. It went in circles. From anger to fear. Anxiety to numbness. What pissed him off further was that they knew. Matt and Emmy knew shit he wasn’t looped in on.
“we’ll play protectors of one's truth later”, Noah grunted as Matt handed him yet another cup of that bitter water they called coffee here. “He wasn’t good for her”, Matt sighed, lifting his cap off to brush his hair back. “No fucking shit dude he’s an abuser”, Noah grunted through gritted teeth, throwing the cup of coffee straight into the bin. “He also owns a big company”, Emmy muttered wrapping her arms around herself.
“Do I look like I give a shit? He needs to be behind bars”, Noah gestured. “They signed an NDA she can’t speak about the shit he did”, Emmy blurted out, bottom lip quivering. Noah blinked slowly, “What?”, surely this all had to be a joke. “He managed to bankrupt her last store”, Matt sighed, Emmy just shook her head beside him, “I’m so sorry we couldn’t tell anyone she didn’t…”, a sob made her clasp a hand over her mouth.
“Come here”, Matt wrapped his arm around her bringing her closer to his chest. “He will go after you”, Emmy whimpered. “Oh, please”, Noah rolled his eyes. “We do need to consider the band here as well, Noah “, Matt warned him. “What would he have?”, Noah grunted, “a picture? Look at me and tell me that you give a shit about a picture, Matt”, his chest was rising and falling rapidly now. A part of him wanted to just punch someone. Something. Pack you up and take you with him. He was about to say just that when a nurse with a clipboard stepped into the hallway, “For Miss Yn?”, all three of them instantly jump up, turning to her.
He was standing in front of yet another door. Breathing in deeply before pushing the handle down. The beeping instantly made him nauseous even if the nurse had told him that it was simply a precaution. Your skin was a lot paler. It made Noah sick that the sweet night you two had planned had turned into this. You blinked slowly, tired eyes looking back at him. A slight smile spread onto your lips as you saw him. Noah pushed his anger down, letting the corners of his lips curve up ever so slightly as he crossed the distance between you.
“Hey”, you muttered, voice groggy as you reached for his hand. “Hi, gorgeous girl”, Noah mused, clasping your fingers through his as he kissed your knuckles. “How are you feeling?”, he carefully leaned in kissing your cheek. “There’s no longer three of you”, you tried to joke but Noah didn’t find it in himself to laugh alongside you. “Yn”, he murmured under his breath. “That was quite a tumble, I’m so clumsy”, you shook your head slightly. “Don’t lie to me”, Noah mused, watching as the look in your eyes shifted.
“Noah”, you sighed. “No, don’t cover for him 'cause I saw him leaving your apartment building”, he pushed on. “I slipped Noah”, you clipped back way firmer. “And the door to your apartment opened exactly how?”, Noah mused, crossing his arms over his chest. There was a moment of silence. Your eyes drifted away from him. He could feel it. Felt it right there and then. He was slowly losing you. You were slipping away.
“You should go”, your voice was barely a whisper but hit Noah just as hard. “No, I’m staying because I’m not letting you rot in this toxic environment”, he argued back. Reaching for the button by your bed you let your fingers brush over it. “Whatever he told you… it’s just another handful of lies”, Noah moved to stand beside you, brushing his fingers beneath your chin, but your eyes didn’t meet his.
“Miss, you called?”, a nurse stepped into the room. Making Noah clench his jaw. “He’s leaving”, you stated. “No, I am not”, Noah instantly shook his head. “Sir, hospital rules…”, the nurse warned him. “I know you don’t want this”, Noah pleaded. “Thank you for visiting”, you muttered, turning your face towards the window. “I love you”, he breathed out, “I’ll sit outside your door 'cause I want us do you hear me? I want US, and I'm not going anywhere”, he swallowed thickly trying to keep his emotions at bay. Catching a glimpse of you closing your eyes as silent tears fell down your cheeks, ripping Noah’s heart even more.
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@broken0mens @supersquirrel1996 @lma1986 @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @private-vampire @mayaslifeinabox @niicolelynn
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reader-lola · 17 hours ago
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Annoying screams
Chris Sturniolo Based on the last video (Making gifts for fans) Warnings: +18, oral (male receives), female masturbation, sexual intercourse, no reference to condom. Let me know if you see any more
Links X: 1 , 2
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You were in your boyfriend Chris's room. You were trying to read, but the screams coming from the kitchen weren't letting you concentrate. You knew your boyfriend was very loud and yelled a lot, but this time he was going overboard. “We're just going to record the invitations for the fans. We won't bother you.”
I missed the first few screams, knowing Chris it was usual for him. But there came a time when all you could hear was him yelling without actually saying anything coherent. I tried to concentrate on the book. I looked through the pages. I dwelled on the rest of the chapter. I repeated the same paragraph I had been reading for 15 minutes until I gave up and closed it. I focused on my phone for the rest of the time. “Hey mom, what are you doing with your phone? Did you finish the book?” Chris's voice brought me out of my trance. I turned off my phone and with a louder voice than expected I faced him. “I tried that, Owen, but by a strange coincidence, a boy kept yelling in the kitchen. I tried to read, but someone made it an impossible task for me. It was impossible because you, young man, NEVER STOP YELLING” “Take it down a notch with me, girl, or I'll have to put you in your place” “No, I'm sorry, you're going to apologize to me for not letting me read, it wasn't that hard to say nice things to your fans instead of yelling at them and, by the way, letting me read” “Okay, you've gone too far, let's see if you're capable of keeping quiet”
Without warning, he grabbed me by the hair and, without any care, he pushed me against the door “Let's see, you yelled at me, you answered me back, and you spoke badly to me. You deserve a punishment” “It's not true, I didn't do that” “And now we add that you lie to me and contradict me. Honey, if you don't want to make it worse, you better shut up.” With one hand he supported my head against the door and with the other he pulled down my pants and thong in the process. Without time to react he put two of his fingers inside me causing a loud moan from me. “You're going to have to shut up if you don't want to be heard. From what I understand Matt and Nick are going to be in the living room watching TV.” His fingers went in and out of my pussy causing me an incredible feeling of pleasure. My legs trembled as I noticed the imminent release, but then his fingers stopped. “No, Chris, please.” “If you ask me like that I'm not going to do anything else.” “Daddy, please.” I whimpered at the need of his fingers dancing inside me. “I told you that you needed a punishment, on your knees.” Without hesitation I got on my knees and as soon as he pulled out his member I didn't hesitate to suck it, choking in the process. His hand grabbed my hair marking the rhythm he had to follow. As I sucked I couldn't help but look up, meeting his blue eyes that gave me a satisfied look, making me feel grateful for being able to eat him. At times I heard small sighs coming out of his lips at the sensation I was feeling. “God, I can't take it anymore.” He pushed me away from his member and in the blink of an eye I had him on top of me. He quickly took off my shirt and mine. He placed his member at my entrance. “I should teach you a lesson and not let you cum,” he said, slowly entering me. I could feel the sensation of his body fitting perfectly with mine. The sensation of his veins entering my interior. “You deserve a punishment for the way you spoke to me. But now I simply need to have you. Feel you.” His thrusts began slowly as I adapted to his size. But they gradually increased in pace. My hands grabbed his back, scratching it as a way of releasing the sensation that was consuming me. Chris' lips traveled to my neck where he started sucking, I'd probably have a mark there tomorrow. “Daddy, I can't take it anymore.” “What do you want?” “Let me cum, please.” “Cum for me, princess.”
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reading-writing-dying · 6 months ago
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👀
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orcelito · 1 year ago
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ITNL chapters 11 and 12 re-edits are posted !!! im rly happy with the changes ive made in these
also i dont think i mentioned but chapter 10 i wasnt expecting big changes but i. changed the bath scene. so that he doesnt have his damn prosthetic on in the bath. bc that makes no goddamn sense
Patch Notes: removed electronic prosthetic from the bath. made vash even more obnoxious (unrelated)
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the-kipsabian · 2 years ago
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hi so im going to bed rn but ive been brain rotting really hard on some things this week and ive also been breaking habits and been writing a lot so like. stuffs happening over at @underratedandoverit <3
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a-b-riddle · 7 months ago
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Part Three
Warning: If you don't like Taylor Swift, you're not gonna like this chapter that much, homie. But So Long, London is so fitting for this drabble series. (I guess a series since it's longer than a drabble at this point)
Can’t stop thinking about reader just trying to move on
You had to remind yourself several times not to check in with the guys. It had almost become second nature doing something big like this. But going to another country…
Not that they would care. You told yourself. It was for the best that way.
The expo went better than you expected. You didn’t believe that there would be a line out the door of eager readers wanting to read your book, but you got a decent amount. More than a few told you they couldn’t wait to read it. Several asking for photos and asking questions on any future books, a spin-off or even continuing the series.
When one a particular large group of girls your age asked for a group photo, you could have cried. They were had found each other in an online book club. You had given them your book several months ago. All copies signed with a note thanking them for taking the time to read what you had poured your heart into.
You had spent a large chunk of your free time talking to them. Bonding more so as women than over your book.
"Have you listened to Taylor's new album?"
It had only been out for two days and you had been able to avoid it like the plague. You didn't need to even listen to 'So Long, London' to know it would fucking gut you. So you would enjoy your time in the states. Save the listening experience for when you were packing up their stuff.
They had posted and tagged you before continuing on with the rest of the expo. You had reposted the photo to your own social media. Or at least one attached to the pen name you had crafted. You only had twelve thousand instagram followers, but it was something.
The first day was much like the second. You had attended several Q & A sessions with a panel of more experienced authors and managed to go to a few meet and greets. Before you knew it, it was time to pack up shop.
The agent the publishing house had assigned to you had stuck with you for most of the day. You were able to pick her brain a bit about new ideas for possible future plot lines and her thoughts. Overall, the trip was great.
Not only were you able to make great connections and take a lot back home with you to reference, but for a few days you forgot what waited for you back home. Or rather what wasn't waiting for you.
By the time your plane landed back in London you could barely hold yourself up. You left the expo, went straight to the hotel to shower, pack and head to the airport.
Your flight was delayed. Your luggage was taking forever to get onto the belt. It was only seven, but fuck if you weren’t ready to just call it a day. Tomorrow you would have to start again. Opening up the shop. Coming back to an empty flat. Maybe start gathering up the items the boys had left behind.
Should you give them in separate boxes or just one giant one and let them sort it out themselves? It was easy to discern whose sweatshirt and t-shirts belonged to who, but when it got to things like socks and chargers...
Yeah.
They could sort it themselves.
You could drop it off at Kyle's when you knew he would be at the gym. He was good at avoiding you anyway.
It wasn't until you stood in your apartment did it hit you.
You were alone.
For the first time in over a year you couldn't call one of them over to soothe that ache of loneliness.
For the first time in over a year, you had to relearn how to handle just being alone.
You usually showered at night. Washing away the grime of the day before settling into bed. But today was a new chapter. You woke up wanting to start it on a good note. Plus you went straight to bed after getting home so you still had a bit of airport funk on you.
It had been a week. One official since you had sent that text nailing the coffin shut. You had touched base with your friends who didn't bat an eye at you dating four men at once. They liked them, even if Simon scared them. You didn't give them the details of the breakup or the cause. You were pretty private in your problems and if you wanted relationship advice, you would seek an unbiased unopinion.
You had a good group of friends, but the moment you told them that you were well and truly heartbroken, they would insist the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Something you were nowhere near ready for.
So you needed to look like you had your shit together. You put on a dress that was feminine and, most importantly, comfy as fuck. An A-line floral frock paired with a light sweater and some white trainers. You knew a few of your friends would be stopping by for tea so you need to look like you were taking the separation well. Even if you were barely holding it together.
With makeup and perfume on, you started the early morning stroll to your shop.
You loved openings. Starting up the register and selecting the playlist for today. Picking out the essential oil to put in the diffuser even though you mostly stuck with a lavender and vanilla blend during the spring months.
For the morning you stuck with a Taylor Swift Instrumental playlist you had found initially for studying, but you liked the peaceful feeling it brought. Even when it covered the most gut wrenching songs.
You had started to collect the online orders that had accumulated over the last week. Sending out the e-mails alerting to your patrons that their orders were ready for pick up. Luckily you weren't set to receive a delivery until tomorrow.
It was eight and everything was set. Although not many people came to a bookstore at eight in the morning, it really didn't bother you opening up that early considering you were the only employee that was on the payroll. It gave you the possibility of making money, but mostly you spent the morning reading or writing.
You flipped the sign over from CLOSED to OPEN. Ready to start take on the day.
You had turned the kettle on in the back room when your friends had stopped by around lunch. You always said it was just tea, but you always had an array of snacks on standby for you all to munch on.
Meredith was complaining about what a dick the new client at the law firm was being. An absolute slime who had been married to his wife for almost twenty-five years before he decided to fuck his twenty-two year old assistant.
Tabitha didn't want to talk about work. To her, her career in tech was just a paycheck. She did what she needed to do and left when she was done.
You talked about the expo and how your book. Although neither of them really read, they had promised that they would read your book. You didn't hold your breath. They had reposted your posts as well as making ones of their owns in celebration of you. Words of praise about your dedication and hard work.
You realized that even though they couldn't give you the support you needed as readers, they supported you blindly. You could have written absolute garbage, but they would still support you.
You talked about how many people liked your book and wanted pictures and to sign their copies.
Then came the question you had been rehearsing since you had texted them a week ago. They both shared a look before Meredith finally asked.
"How are you holding up?" You gave a half-smile and a shrug. So perfectly rehearsed in your head you were ready to deliver your lies lines.
"I'm fine," you lied. "It was just fading so there isn't much of a difference, I guess." Not necessarily a lie. "We just wanted different things and were on different paths in life." Not a lie. "It's for the best." You weren't sure if that last one was a lie or not just yet.
They both shared a passing look before returning their gazes back to you. "You know you can come to us about this stuff." Tabitha's hand reached across the table, placing a hand on top of yours.
"It wasn't going to work out." You added. "Situations like that don't and I should have known better."
"A situation?" Meredith asked. "When have you ever called it a situation?"
"It always was one."
"I love you enough to call bullshit." She raised her eyebrow at you, crossing her arms over her chest. "You loved them and you need to stop pretending this is easy."
"You're a divorce lawyer, Mere," You reminded. "You see marriages fall apart every day."
"I do. I get to see from across the table how a woman is still willing to take her cheating arse of a husband back. So the fact that you went from on cloud nine with all of them to not even talking about the break up is concerning to say the least."
"Tabitha," you looked at your only ally left. "A little back up would be nice."
"I'm with her on this one." She confirmed. "You loved them. Not that I cared, but if you weren't talking about books or the shop, you were talking about them. What you did, where you went. How they fucked you."
"I think I'll miss that part the most." Mere sighed. "I lived vicariously through you."
"You know you could actually date people." Tabitha suggested.
"I'd rather live with chronic carpal tunnel than a man." You almost choked on your tea. If you were wearing pearls you would have used the comedic relief of clutching them to break the awkwardness of the current topic of conversation.
"That should be put on a t-shirt." You suggested
"I wouldn't mind it on a welcome mat to be honest." Tabitha added.
"But in all seriousness, cut this bullshit." Meredith gave you an sympathetic smile. "We're here. Good, bad and ugly."
You returned her smile. "I know."
You had closed up shop for the evening. Your lunch had gone longer than expected so now you were left doing the dishes and clean up during closing. You were setting the last cup on the drying rack when you heard the front door chime.
Shit.
You must have forgotten to lock the door when you turned the sign.
“I’m sorry!” You apologized, making your way out of the back break area and to the front of the store. “We’re-”
“Closed.” He said, locking the door behind him. “I saw the sign.”
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itneverendshere · 1 month ago
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LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - TWO
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pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mentions of possible pregnancy, of abortion, of pregnancy risks & death. self-loathing. chapter one ┆ chapter three ┆ chapter four
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You lied.
You didn’t take the tests the next day.
Or the next. You couldn’t. Every time you picked up one of the stupid boxes, your heart would drop to the pits of hell and your hands would start sweating. You’d shove it back in the drawer like it could disappear if you just ignored it hard enough.
Once you knew, you knew. 
There was no more pretending as if nothing happened.
No more pretending like you didn't care that Rafe moved on like he didn’t just dump you, with no real closure and ran to the next girl he found. 
Fuck, why did he have to look so happy that night? He got to be carefree, living his perfect little life with her, and you were there, sitting on the bathroom floor, too scared to even pee on a stick.
What if it was positive? Then what? The thought of seeing his name pop up on your phone after you blocked him, or worse, hearing her voice if she picked up...you’d rather die. He didn't deserve to know.
He didn't deserve anything from you anymore.
You started googling abortion clinics before you even touched the tests. You could afford it. That wasn’t even the issue.
You had more money than you knew what to do with. Your inheritance was just sitting there. You could book a flight tomorrow, pay for whatever procedure, whatever it took—fly out of state, out of the country, if you had to. 
But that wasn’t the point. It has never been about the money. It was the overwhelming shame. The fear. The realization that Rafe might have left you, but he was still there, stuck in your head, in your body, in your fucking life. Even when he wasn’t.  
He didn’t have to worry about any of this. He was most likely out on the boat, not even thinking about you. Not thinking about what he did to you. 
And you— you were left with this. Sitting on a bathroom floor for hours a day, trying to figure out how you were supposed to make a decision that changed everything.
You started looking up clinics again, scrolling through the options, but your mind was barely even there. It was legal in North Carolina for now, but you read something about the 12-week ban they passed in June, and suddenly you were spiraling one more time, wondering how much time you even had. 
Could you wait? Could you put it off like you’d been putting off the tests, like if you waited long enough, maybe the problem would just... disappear? Shit, wouldn’t that be easier?
You heard that voice in your head, the one that sounded like your mom, at least what you remembered from watching old videos.
It was depressing how life didn’t let you hold tightly to your memories sometimes. She always reminded you of the kind of person you were supposed to be. The type of girl who had her shit together. The type of girl who didn’t get herself into situations like this, in the first place.
But instead, you were the girl who lost everything—the life you were supposed to have—and somehow, you’d still found a way to screw up what was left.
You kept scrolling like you couldn’t stop.
One page led to another, and soon you weren’t just looking up clinics—you were looking up everything. 
What happened during the procedure, how long it took, the side effects, the complications. You read horror stories about infections, about women who thought it was over and then bled for weeks, about people who changed their minds too late.
You even looked up what could happen if you didn’t get an abortion—what pregnancy could do to your body. And that was a whole other rabbit hole you didn’t need to go down. Your body changing, your hormones going insane. You thought about your boobs getting sore, your stomach stretching, the possibility of throwing up every morning, and it felt like your body was already betraying you. And then you read the serious stuff—gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, all these words you didn’t even know existed before that night. There was a minefield of things that could go wrong, things that would go wrong.
Complications. Risks. Dangers.
You read about women who almost died in labor. About miscarriages and stillbirths and the trauma of carrying a baby for months, only to lose it. You never even thought about that, how pregnancy wasn’t just this smooth, magical process people make it out to be. It was brutal. But you’d been the little sister, you never saw your mother go through it, or anyone for that matter.
Your younger cousin, Topper the bitching backstabber, had been born and raised in Los Angeles before he moved to Figure 8 when he was five. 
You were terrified—not just of being pregnant, but of what it meant to stay pregnant. Would your body even handle it? You’d always lived off coffee and takeout half the time. An unreasonable amount of parties. Too many drinks some nights.
You weren’t exactly the picture of health. What if you weren’t strong enough? What if something went wrong, and you ended up in a hospital bed, alone, because Rafe sure as fuck wouldn’t be there. It was just you.
For a second there, you thought you might pass out.
You’d thrown your phone across the room, it hit the wall with a thud, but it didn’t help. The anxiety was still there, vibrating under your skin, making you want to scream. You glanced at the bathroom drawer again, where the pregnancy tests were hidden like some cursed thing.
Maybe you should’ve just taken one.
Rip off the bandaid.
The stupid phone rang, like was having fun pissing you off, vibrating on the floor where you’d thrown it. You stared at it for a second, debating if you should even pick it up. You didn’t feel like dealing with anyone, especially not whoever was about to ask something from you.
But it kept ringing, and of course, it was a number you recognized—Lily, one of the coordinators from your dad’s foundation. Shit. You forgot about the gala. Again. The one that was happening in two freaking days, the one you haven’t even thought about preparing for.
You swiped to answer, “Yeah?”
“Hey, I didn’t want to bother you, but we need to go over the final details for the gala,” She greeted you, sounding way too perky for how you were feeling. “I really need your input on the seating arrangements, and the auction items, and—”
It hit you just how ironic this was. You were sitting here, freaking out about being possibly pregnant, scrolling through nightmare stories about abortion and pregnancy complications, while Lily was talking about a fundraiser for children’s health. Kids. It felt like some twisted repulsive joke the universe was playing on you.
You blinked back into the conversation, realizing she still talking, and you hadn’t said a word. “Uh, yeah, sorry. I’ve been busy. Can you just handle it?” you muttered, feeling guilty but not enough to actually deal with any of it.
“I’ve already taken care of most things,” she said carefully, “but we really need your approval on the final guest list and the speech. You’re the face of the foundation, after all.”
The face of the foundation. The legacy your dad left you. It was supposed to be this huge responsibility. And it was. You’d always taken it seriously. The one thing in your life you never ruined. But this year, you hadn’t written the speech yet. Jesus, you forgot it was even happening. And the guest list? No clue.
You rubbed your forehead, “I’ll look at it later. Just send it over.”
Lily hesitated again, probably sensing that something was off, you'd always been a control freak. “Okay, I’ll email it to you. Just let me know by tomorrow, alright?”
“Yeah, sure.”
You hung up before she could add anything else, staring at the ceiling. One more thing. One more responsibility piled on top of everything else. You were drowning in all these expectations—being the good daughter to dead parents, the responsible one, the perfect kook girl who was supposed to have everything. You were supposed to be the girl who had the trust fund, the perfect life, the foundation that helped kids in need.
You earned to be her.
Your phone buzzed again, this time with an email notification. You rolled your eyes, already knowing it was from Lily. She’d sent over the guest list, and you groaned, thinking you’d skim it, give it a half-assed glance, and send it back. But as you scrolled down the names, you stopped.
Rafe Cameron.
Of course, he was going to be there. Why wouldn’t he? His family had been involved in your dad’s foundation for years. It was like you couldn’t escape him.
The fucking nerve. To your gala. Your blood boiled instantly, your fingers gripping the phone so tight you almost cracked the screen.
Fuck him. 
If he thought he could just show up and rub his new life in your face, he had another thing coming. Without thinking twice, you deleted his name, erasing him like he didn’t even exist. And then, without checking another name, you sent the list back to Lily.
You didn’t give a shit if it was petty. You didn’t care if it wasn’t professional.
If Rafe wanted to play games, you’d ruin his life if you had to. He thought he could fuck you over, leave you with all this—leave you with nothing? No. You weren’t going to let him have that power.
Not over this. Not over you.
You were shaking now, but it almost felt good. Even if it was just a stupid guest list. Let him find out when he got there and there was no table for him. No seat. No fucking room. 
You still sat there staring at the screen with that stupid blinking cursor. The email from Lily sat open in front of you, and somewhere buried in the list of attachments was the speech. Blank.
Your speech—the one you were supposed to read at the gala in two days. The one you hadn’t even started writing.
This was always the hardest part. Writing it. Saying it. You used to cry every time. Standing in front of all those people, talking about your dad, your family, how the foundation was this beautiful way of keeping their memory alive. It was never just a speech—it was like ripping your heart out of your chest and letting everyone see it, year after year. It never got easier.
But Rafe, used to be there with you.
Every year. He’d sit with you while you struggled through every word, telling you it was okay to take your time, reminding you that you didn’t have to do it if you didn’t want to. And when the gala came, he was always by your side, standing just off stage, waiting for you after the speech was done. You’d run into his arms, and he’d whisper that you 'did great baby', holding you until the room stopped spinning so much.
You could still hear his voice in your head sometimes, 'you’re stronger than you think'.
That’s what he always said, even when you didn’t believe it. He’d hold you, kiss your forehead, and make you feel like it was true, like you really could get through it. He was always so sure of you. But this year? He wasn’t going to be there. He’d stop believing the lies he fed you. You were angry. You were seething. You were utterly alone.
You’d been avoiding this moment—writing.
This time around, it wasn’t just about the speech. It was about the fact that when you walked out of that stage, you wouldn’t have him waiting for you.
You’d step down into nothingness, with no one to catch you.
Your fingers hovered over the screen, but they wouldn’t move. What were you even supposed to say this year? How were you supposed to stand up in front of all those people and talk about love and family and legacy when yours was shattered?
You hated looking at yourself in the mirror, feeling like you’d lost every single piece of who you used to be.
Fuck the speech. Fuck the gala. Fuck Rafe Cameron and his stupid lies, his stupid smile, his stupid promises that he never kept.  
If he thought you were weak, if he thought he could break you, if he thought you were the same girl who used to cling to him like he was the only thing keeping you together—he was wrong.
You were going to do this without him.
You were going to stand up there and give that speech, no matter how much it hurt. And if it killed you, so be it. You’d still do it.
Because unlike him, you didn’t just walk away from the things that mattered. Even if it tore you apart. Even if it was killing you to keep pretending like you were fine. You weren’t fine. But you’d fake it. You’d fake it until the whole world believed it. 
You’d barely hit send on the email when your phone rang again, and this time it wasn’t Lily.
It was Topper. You hadn’t talked to him since that night—the night. The party where you’d found out, where you’d seen Rafe and Sofia together for the first time. Where you realized that everyone knew.
How he’d called Rafe over, like you needed him to fix it, like he was still yours to rely on.
“What?”
“Hey…” Topper’s voice was cautious, “I, uh, I wanted to call and apologize for the other night.”
You snorted, leaning your head back against the wall. “Yeah? For what part? For calling Rafe like his little bitch or for getting in front of my car when I was trying to leave?”
“I didn’t mean to fuck things up. I was just trying to stop you from doing something stupid.”
“Like what?” you snapped. “Leaving the party? Getting out of there before I had to watch him with her for one more second? Yeah, Top, real dumb of me.”
“You almost ran me over,” Topper shot back, his voice rising just a little, like he was offended you hadn’t mentioned that part. “Kinda felt like maybe you weren’t thinking straight.”
“You jumped in front of the car you fucking idiot. What the hell did you expect me to do? Slam on the brakes and listen to whatever bullshit you and Rafe had to say? Because trust me, ’m all out of patience for either of you.”
There was a sigh on the other end, the sound of him trying to not to lose his patentience, like he was the one in the right here. Typical Topper. Always wanting to smooth things over, play peacemaker between you and Rafe, like this was just another fight you’d get over.
He never really got it.
“Look,” Your cousin started, calmer this time, “I didn’t mean to call him. I just thought—”
“You always think calling him will fix things,” you cut in, “Like he’s the answer to every problem I have. He’s not. Not anymore.”
“I get that,” He added quickly, like he was afraid you’d hang up. “But I didn’t know what else to do! You were upset, and I thought maybe—”
“Maybe what? That he could swoop in and save the day?” You let out a bitter laugh. “He’s not your golden boy, Top. He doesn’t fix anything. He ruins things.”
Topper went quiet for a second, probably trying to figure out how to respond without setting you off on an angry rant again. “I get it,” he said finally, “You’re pissed at him. You have every right to be. But I didn’t call him to hurt you, okay? I was worried about you.”
You hated how genuine he sounded, hated that he meant well. He was a nuisance half of the time, sure, but he wasn’t malicious. He never was. He just had terrible judgment. 
“Next time, don’t,” you muttered, rubbing a hand over your face. “I don’t need you playing little brother and calling him when things go wrong."
“I wasn’t trying to clean anything up,” Topper explained, a little defensive now. “I just didn’t want you driving like that. You were upset.”
You rolled your eyes. “Upset doesn’t mean I need you or Rafe deciding what’s best for me. I’m not a kid.”
“You’re not,” he agreed, “But you weren’t exactly in a great headspace, so yeah, I stopped you. I wasn’t gonna let you leave like that and end up in a ditch somewhere.”
It hurt like a bitch, because deep down, you knew Topper had a point.
You were having a meltdown, and he’d stepped in, like he always did when you went off the rails. That was the problem with him—he cared, even when you didn’t want him to. He was family, the only family you had left, and he was too loyal for his own good.
“You could’ve told me,” you confessed what had been upsetting you, your voice losing some of its initial attitude. “About them. Instead of letting me walk into that party blind.”
Topper sighed again, “I should’ve,” he admitted. “I didn’t want you to find out like that. But it wasn’t my place to say anything. And I didn’t want to make things worse.”
Your hand instinctively moved to cup your stomach. You didn’t even realize you were doing it at first, but the second your fingers touched your shirt, the earlier panic welled up inside you again. If he only knew how bad things were. How bad they could get. You yanked your hand away like you’d been burned, heart hammering against your ribs most painfully. There was no way you could even begin to explain what was going on inside your head—or your body.
Not to Topper. Not to anyone. If he knew, he’d freak and you didn’t need that right now.
You clenched your jaw, pushing yourself to focus on the conversation, on Topper still yammering on about apologies and guilt You shook your head, a bitter smile tugging at your lips. 
“Are you even listening?”
“Unfortunately,” You sounded apathetic even to yourself, fingers tapping against the phone, agitated. “Look, Top, I don’t have time for this right now. I’m busy.”
He sighed. “I know you’re pissed, okay? I get it. But the gala’s in, like, two days. You... you still going, right?”
“Of course I’m going,” you scowled, barely able to hide the bitterness in your voice. “I have to. It’s not like I can just dip out and pretend it’s not happening.”
Unlike some people, you thought, but you bit your tongue.
“Good, because I’ll be there too. And I—”
“Oh, joy,” you interrupted, “Another chance for you to babysit me and make sure I don’t make a scene? Can’t wait.”
“Jesus, I’m just trying to help!” Topper groaned. “I didn’t want to make things worse the other night. I—”
“Yeah. Whatever, I’ll see you at the gala.”
You hung up. You didn’t have the patience to deal with him right now. 
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The day of the gala came faster than you thought it would.
It was like you blinked, and suddenly, you were standing in the middle of the venue, walking through final checks with Lily, nodding along as she rattled off details you barely absorbed.
The room was all glitz and glamour, with chandeliers dripping from the ceiling, and everything draped in the foundation’s signature gold and white. 
Crisp tablecloths. Flowers in perfect, elegant arrangements. Waiters in black-tie uniforms were circulating, making sure everything looked flawless. Flawless.
That word made you want to gag.
You moved through the space like a ghost, smiling at the right moments, giving half-hearted approvals when needed.  You didn’t care. People were running around, asking for your opinion on this or that. You’d stayed at the venue longer than planned, making sure everything was in order, but your mind was stuck in that floating-place. You wanted to burn the whole thing down, if you were being honest.
You should’ve called your doctor. Days ago. Hell, maybe weeks ago.
Making smart choices wasn’t your thing lately, was it?
When you finally slipped into the room where they’d set up your glam team, you just wanted to sleep. The room itself was a suite off to the side of the venue, a private space meant to make you feel like royalty.
A massive mirror ran across one wall, surrounded by soft, glowing lights. A table was set up with everything—hair tools, makeup brushes, palettes, serums. Bottles of champagne sat chilled in the corner, the condensation dripping down the glass, untouched. It was the kind of place you were supposed to feel special in.
Normally you did. But this year you were numb.
The stylist worked quietly on your hair, soft curls falling into place as she tugged and pinned each section with meticulous care. The makeup artist was dabbing foundation onto your skin, blending and contouring until you didn’t even recognize yourself in the mirror. The dress hung behind you, a shimmering white gown, custom-designed by Versace for the occasion.
You looked like you were stepping into one of those perfect, glamorous lives. But on the inside, you felt like you were going to lose it at any second. You nodded along, giving tight-lipped smiles when they complimented you, and then they finally left.
The room was dead silent now, just you and your reflection. You stood in front of the mirror, staring at yourself, the perfect curls, the glowy skin, the gown waiting behind you. It all felt wrong. It felt fake. You didn’t bear a resemblance to yourself.
You looked like the version of you that the world expected—the untouchable girl. A doll.
Your rifled through your bag for your phone, but instead, your fingers brushed something else. Cold, hard. 
You hadn’t even realized it was in there.
One of the pregnancy tests. You must’ve thrown it in without thinking earlier that morning when you were rushing out the door. You hadn’t even noticed it until now.
What the fuck were you doing?
You had a gala to host in less than an hour. People were going to be looking at you, waiting for you to give the speech, expecting you to hold everything together like always. And there you were, standing in a private dressing room, about to do something so monumentally stupid. Maybe it was the pressure of tonight, or maybe it was the anger you’d been shoving down for weeks, but suddenly, you didn’t care.
You were going to do it.
Without even thinking, you stormed into the bathroom. You were so fucking tired of avoiding this. Tired of pretending like everything was fine, like you were fine.
What the hell was fine about any of this? You tore open the box, hands trembling as you pulled out the test. The room was so quiet, you could hear every little sound—your breath still uneven, the rustle of your dress against the tiles, the click of the test cap as you flicked it off.
You sat down, staring at the stick in your hand. This was insane. You were insane. Who the fuck took a pregnancy test ten minutes before they’re supposed to host a charity gala? 
You couldn’t get a proper breath out as you waited, heart pounding so hard it felt like it might rip your chest open. You leaned against the sink, gripping the edge. Your stomach churned, the nausea rising again, and you had to close your eyes to stop the floor from spinning.
What if it was positive? What if it wasn’t?
You stared at the test, willing the result to appear, but it didn’t. Not yet. The little window stayed blank, as if taunting you, making you feel like you were losing your mind. You knew you had to wait longer. You weren’t stupid. You’d read those instructions a million times by now, but you hated waiting.
Hated not knowing.
You couldn’t take your eyes off the stupid little piece of plastic. Just one line or two. That was all it came down to. One fucking line or two, and your entire life would either fall apart or what? Be fine?
You glanced at the mirror, catching another glimpse of yourself, and it almost startled you—your eyes were wild. Desperate. They were the eyes of someone who was just about ready to do anything to get this over with. 
You tried to picture telling him again, but the idea alone made you sick. You thought of Sofia, of her perfect smile next to his, and bile rose in your throat. Your hands never stopped shaking. You wanted to run. You wanted to throw that thing in the garbage can and never stare at it again.
Your thoughts spun in circles, going nowhere, just making everything worse. The clock on your phone ticked louder and louder, and you knew—somewhere out there, everyone was getting ready. Guests were arriving. The gala would start soon, and they’d all be waiting for you. Watching you. Expecting you to be the poised, perfect version of yourself you’d spent your whole life pretending to be.
And you were in here, trying not to lose your fucking mind.
You peeked back at it. Still nothing.
No line. No answer.
It felt like you were suspended in time. You closed your eyes, gripping the sink harder, praying for it to end—something to happen, anything.
Then finally, you felt it in your chest—a heavy, sinking feeling, like the moment before a fall.
You opened your eyes. 
There it was.
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iamred-iamyellow · 5 months ago
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⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ Think Fast, You Only Get One Try - [Part 1]
♥ prev | next
♥ series masterlist | main masterlist
♥ pairing: lando norris x fem!reader
♥ chapter one synopsis: after almost two months it was finally time to tell lando about your daughter.
♥ smau + written - fc: girls on pinterest - none of the pictures are mine
♥ warnings: swearing !!!
♥ a/n: thank you so much for almost 400 followers and 1k+ notes on the intro <3 i really hope this part 1 lives up to your expectations! The next parts will have more smau and will ideally be longer (I just had to get the plot rolling with this first chapter lol)
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You knocked on Lando’s penthouse apartment door, knowing there was no going back now. Bless your sister for being able to find where he lives in just a couple of minutes on the internet.
The man who opened the door wasn’t Lando, but Max Fewtrell. His gaze narrowed.
“Who are you?”
“I’m not sure if you remember me... but I met you and Lando at a club in Melbourne last year.”
His eyes saccaded between you and the baby you were holding.
"Lando," he shouted from the doorway. "Stay here. I'll go get him."
Max made his way to one of Lando's rooms, where he was talking to Oscar.
"There's a woman here to see you," he paused. "With a baby. She said she knew you from Melbourne last year."
Lando got up quickly and made his way to the front door. Once he got there, he stared at you and your daughter.
You nodded. "Her name is Camila."
He held his arms out, silently asking to hold her. After you handed Camila to him, he gently rocked her in his arms.
"Come in."
-
You had a very long conversation on the couch with Lando as his two friends eavesdropped from the hallway. They didn't even bother going into another room and closing the door.
"I want to be a part of her life, if that's okay with you?"
You nodded. "Could you start tomorrow?"
"What?" Lando blinked at you.
"My sitter quit, and I have work tomorrow. I checked your race calendar; you just got back from Japan and don't have to go to Shanghai until next week."
"Yeah, but I still have sim and training and-"
"You better hope your physical therapist knows how to rock a baby to sleep then," you said sternly.
"I can help if you want," Oscar piped up. "With Max and I, I'm sure you'll be able to spend some time with your daughter."
You smiled at Oscar. "I'll be leaving you in charge."
That statement elicited an eye roll out of Lando.
He shifted his gaze from Camila to you. "Alright, yeah, I'll take care of her for the next few days."
"Thank you," you placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'll drop her off tomorrow at 10?"
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-The Next Day-
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oscarpiastri babysitting duty
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user7 who's baby?
user3 oscar would be such a cute girl dad
lilyzniemer I agree
user1 🥹
user5 AWWW
user8 that should be me 😔
user2 holding your hand
user9 that should be me
user4 making you laugh
user12 you and lily are so cute :(
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-first is lando's phone, second is yours-
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-A Week Later-
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landonorris life lately
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user7 Shanghai is soooo pretty
user9 so glad china back on the calendar
oscarpiastri proof that instagram is fake
maxfewtrell he's forgetting about sm REALLY important in his "life lately"
user8 ???
user2 @/oscarpiastri @/maxfewtrell what do you know
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theostrophywife · 1 year ago
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agora hills.
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pairing: lorenzo berkshire x reader.
song inspiration: agora hills by doja cat.
author's note: as always, this unhinged fic idea started in chlo and i's endless chats about these pesky men. enzo has a special place in my heart because he's so golden retriever sunshine (don't be fooled by that face though he's filthy).
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Enzo Berkshire was your best friend. 
Despite what your friends seemed to think, the relationship between you two had always been strictly platonic. Perhaps it was easy to misinterpret your actions as romantic. After all, you and Enzo were very touchy and affectionate people. It was typical of you two to hold hands in the halls, cuddle in the common room, and even share the occasional cheek or forehead kiss, which you deemed completely normal. This type of behavior has been the standard since you were eleven years old. 
Still, you weren’t blind. You knew your best friend was attractive. Enzo had always been handsome in your eyes, but then fourth year rolled around and everyone else started to notice it too. To be fair, he had grown at least a foot over the summer and quidditch definitely helped him pack on lean muscle. Needless to say, girls flocked to him like a swarm of bees to honey, but he never really seemed interested in any of them. Not that you were paying attention. It was a natural thing to notice when you spent every waking moment with someone. 
The point of the matter was that you had absolutely no romantic feelings for Enzo whatsoever. Or so you thought. Until the bloody dream that flipped your friendship on its head. 
It was a normal day. You and Enzo were studying in your dorm like you usually did after class. Enzo was sprawled out on the rug scribbling away for his assignment on Ancient Runes. You were on your bed reading up on History of Magic. You knew you should be focusing since there would be a test tomorrow, but the chapter was boring and you were absolutely knackered from attending classes all day. 
Before you knew it, you were fully knocked out. A part of you was aware that you were dreaming, but the surreality of it blurred the lines of reality. 
In your dreams, you were still in your room studying with Enzo. Except your best friend was no longer hunched over his homework on your rug. Now Enzo was standing at the edge of your bed, blocking out the afternoon sun. You stared up in confusion as he took the book from your hands. 
“Enz? What are you doing?” 
Enzo stared intently at you, his soft hazel eyes flickering down to your lips. It was a little like being hit with a beam of sunshine. Your heart stuttered in your chest as he ran his thumb across your bottom lip. 
“I want to try something.”
You held your breath as Enzo leaned over. The bed dipped from his weight as you sat frozen in place. He rubbed soothing circles along your wrist, causing you to melt into his touch. It was a familiar sensation, one that always calmed you down but right at that moment, you felt anything but. The beat of your heart echoed so loudly that you were sure he could hear it. 
Enzo leaned in close, his face mere inches away from yours. He stroked your cheek gently. “I want to kiss you,” he murmured, the low whisper of his voice conjuring goosebumps along your arms. “Can I?”
You blinked, swallowing thickly. He was so close that you could smell the woodsy smell of his cologne, combined with a hint of fresh laundry and citrus. 
“Yes,” you responded breathily. 
Before you could think better of it, Enzo was kissing you. It was soft and sweet, his kisses gentle while he tested the waters. The quick little pecks soon evolved into deeper kisses as your body responded to his touch. Your hands moved outside of your own volition, fingers tangling in Enzo’s hair as you pulled him closer. He groaned and tilted your head back for a better angle, your bodies pressed close together and radiating heat underneath your clothes. 
Enzo scooted back on the headboard and pulled you into his lap without breaking the kiss. You gasped when his hands roamed underneath your skirt, gripping your thighs so that you were fully settled over his length. What started as a sweet innocent kiss escalated into a full on heated makeout session. Kissing till your lips were swollen. Moaning into each other’s mouths. Grasping at every inch of skin the two of you could reach. 
When you felt him grind his hardness against your backside, you gasped. Enzo took the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth, swirling and sucking until you were panting above him. 
“Y/N,” he grunted huskily. “I need you.”
The desperation in Enzo’s voice made you shudder. You didn’t even think twice before unbuckling his belt and tugging his boxers down. Enzo groaned as he stroked himself, pulling your panties to the side. You whimpered as he teased his tip at your entrance. 
“I want you so fucking bad.”
“I want you too, Enzo.”
Friendship be damned, Enzo gripped your hips and watched as you sank into him. His eyes rolled back when he felt your warmth and wetness hug around his cock. 
“Fuck,” he groaned, resting his head in the crook of your neck. “Gods, you feel so fucking good. Better than I imagined.”
You clenched at his words and he inhaled sharply before rolling your hips to set the pace. Once you established a steady rhythm, Enzo pinned you with his lust blown gaze and watched as you rode him. He lavished you with sloppy kisses, stopping every now and then to moan into your mouth while you continued rolling your hips against him. 
“That’s it, princess. Feels good, yeah? Keep rolling your hips just like that,” Enzo said, thrusting upwards to fuck into you. “Wanna feel you cum on my cock, pretty girl.”
The filthy words sent you over the edge. Just as Enzo hit that perfect spot, your eyes flew open. 
You were startled to find yourself back in your dorm, warm, sweaty, and alone in bed. You nearly fell off altogether when you found Enzo still sitting on the rug below you. While you were dreaming about doing filthy things with him, Enzo was completely oblivious and focused on studying. Like you should’ve been. 
Enzo perked up, concern written all over his face when he saw how flushed you were. He immediately rushed over to your side. Your cheeks were so red that he thinks you might be running a fever. Enzo pressed the back of his hand against your forehead and you bit down on your bottom lip to keep yourself from moaning. 
“You’re burning up, Y/N.” Enzo sounded genuinely worried. If only he knew the reason why you currently shared the same temperature as the common room fireplace. “Maybe I should walk you over to the infirmary?” 
“No!” Your voice echoed shrilly in your dorm, causing you to wince. “I’m fine. I just…I just need fresh air.”
“Oh good, I’ll come walk with you.”
“No,” you said rather harshly. Enzo frowned. “I, uh, I think I should go alone.”
Now Enzo was truly perturbed. He pouted at your refusal. Why didn’t you want him to come? You always walked around the Black Lake together. 
“Are you sure you’re alright, Y/N?” 
He squinted at you, hoping to catch your gaze. You completely avoided looking him in the eyes before scrambling out of bed. 
“I’m fine, really. I’ll see you later, Enz.”
You were out the door before Enzo even had a chance to respond. 
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You were acting like a bloody idiot. 
After that unfortunate afternoon, you spent the next few days avoiding Enzo. The dream had completely flustered you. It was impossible to be in the same room as your best friend. You couldn’t even look Enzo in the eyes without thinking of him being inside of you.  
More than that, it was making you rethink your entire friendship. You adored Enzo. He had been a constant in your life since first year. The two of you were inseparable and he was pretty much the most important person in your life. You had never once thought about him in a sexual manner, but obviously you were attracted to him given the filthy thoughts that flooded your mind like a plague. 
You were praying to Merlin that this stupid little lapse of yours would pass and take all the hormone addled aftereffects with it. Perhaps it was just lack of physical affection that was causing you to think this way. After all, you had broken up with your last boyfriend months ago. There was the casual hookup every now and then, but those never really satisfied you in the way that you wanted. It certainly wasn’t anything like how Enzo had been in your dream. 
As you cataloged and compared your most recent stints, the intrusive thought slipped in without warning. There were no secrets between you and Enzo, so you knew that it had been awhile since he hooked up with anyone else too. Come to think of it, except for a couple flings here and there, Enzo has never really had a serious relationship. 
You never really thought much about it. It wasn’t like you were running headfirst into commitment either, but now you couldn’t help but wonder why Enzo had never had a girlfriend. Were relationships just not his cup of tea? If so, why the bloody hell not?
By the time you had unraveled that string, Pansy was snapping her fingers in front of your face. You shook your head and rejoined the present. Before your little spiral, you and Pansy had been discussing the homework for Charms. 
Your friend narrowed her eyes on you. “Alright, spill,” Pansy said. “There’s clearly something on your mind.”
You peered around the common room. For the most part, it was empty. Only a few of the other Slytherins lingered in your midst, but one could never be too careful in the viper’s nest. 
Once you were sure the coast was clear, you leaned closer to Pansy and spoke in a low voice. “Have you ever had a dream about one of the guys?”
Pansy leaned back on the velvet emerald couch with an expression of intrigue. “What kind of dream?”
“You know,” you urged, picking at the cushion in your lap. “The sexual kind.”
She shook her head, her glossy bob shimmering in the faint light. “No, I can’t say that I have.” 
“I have!” Theo said cheerfully as he plopped down between you. His presence startled you, but he looked utterly unperturbed as he butted into the conversation. “About both of you, actually.”
You wrinkled your nose and smacked him on the arm. “Gross, Theo.”
“I’m inclined to agree,” Pansy said with a look of disgust.
Theo was deeply offended by it all. “What? I’ll have you know that I was very loving and gentle,” you groaned and made a gagging sound. “I also had one about Reg and that one wasn’t as gentle, if you know what I mean.”
He grinned cheekily, which only made you lament further. Pansy shook her head in disbelief. “Really, Regulus? He’s the human equivalent of a grumpy black cat. All the first years are terrified of him.”
Theo shrugged. “What can I say? I’m into that. All that surliness and those curls, y’know…”
It was Pansy’s turn to smack him. “For Salazar’s fucking sake, shut it, Theodore. I want to know who Y/N had a dream about.”
“Was it Riddle?” Theo prompted.
“Which one?”
“Mattheo, obviously. Tom looks like he hasn’t had a woman’s touch in years.”
“That’s mean!” you cut in. “I’m telling Tom you said that.”
“Please don’t. I value my life, thank you very much.”
Pansy scoffed. “It’s not either one of the Riddles then.”
“Was it me?” asked Theo. 
“Gods, no.”
He rolled his eyes in response. “It can’t be Blaise because him and Pans are shagging on the daily.” Theo’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell me it’s Malfoy.” 
“Absolutely not.”
“But he’s close, right?” Pansy said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. You nodded weakly. She gasped. “Oh my god, Berkshire? Really?”
You buried your face in your hands. You were truly going to die of embarrassment. Pansy continued with her assessment. “Well, you two are practically attached at the hip, so it makes sense. Still, I truly didn’t expect it to be Enzo. He’s so sweet, I just can’t see him that way.”
The shit-eating grin on Theo’s face made you cringe. “Was it good? It had to be, right? Is that why you’ve been avoiding him all week?” 
“What? I haven’t been avoiding him.”
“Sure you have,” declared Theo. “Berkshire’s all broken up about it. Thinks he’s done something to upset you. The whole time you’ve been nursing filthy little fantasies about sweet baby boy Enzo. Oh, I can’t wait to tell the guys about this.”
Panic seized you and Theo yelped as you held his arm in a death grip. “You can’t say a fucking word, Theo. Do you hear me? It’s already humiliating enough to have a sex dream about my best friend. I will literally murder you if you tell any of the boys.”
Theo sighed. “Fine, I won’t tell. Now let go of me, woman.”
“What are you going to do?” asked Pansy. “You can’t keep avoiding Enzo forever.”
You sighed. You were completely and utterly at a loss. Pansy was right. Enzo was already starting to suspect something and you felt bad that he thought he’d done something to upset you when you were the one in the wrong. How could you possibly act normal after all of this?
“Maybe you should ask him if he’s ever thought about you that way,” Theo suggested. “That way the ball’s in his court.” 
You scoffed. “I’m supposed to just come up to him and casually ask, Hey Enz, have you ever had a sex dream about me that was so filthy that you couldn’t make eye contact for days after?” 
“I guarantee you the answer will be yes.”
As you chided Theo for being his usual ridiculous self, Pansy discretely nudged you. Enzo rounded the corner and waved at the three of you. Theo and Pansy shared a look before leaving you to your own devices. Bloody traitors. 
Enzo was unbothered by their sudden departure. “Hi, love. I haven’t seen you all week. You haven’t been avoiding me, have you?” 
His tone was light and playful, but it still made you nervous as all hell. “No, not at all,” you internally cringed at the forced cheeriness in your voice. “I’ve just been…busy. Yeah, that’s it. No other reason.”
For Salazar’s fucking sake. You were horrible at this. Lying to Enzo wasn’t something you were used to. 
Enzo nodded. “Okay, well we’re still on for movie night, right?” 
“Oh, yeah, about that—“
“It shouldn't be a problem,” he added thoughtfully, shooting you a cheeky grin. “Unless you’re actually avoiding me.”
Fuck. Your mind was screaming at you to say no. To make up some lame excuse. To do something other than gape at Enzo. 
Unfortunately, your brain decided to stop working as soon as those dimples of his made an appearance. Merlin’s bloody beard, you truly needed to get a grip. 
You forced yourself to smile back so he wouldn’t think anything was amiss. “”I was just going to ask what snacks you wanted.”
“Just you,” Enzo said, his grin growing wider. Did his voice suddenly sound deeper than it had a few seconds ago? No, it was likely just your delusion. “That’s all I need.”
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Later that night, Enzo arrived with the projector and a handful of movie choices. You spent the entire afternoon pacing and working yourself into a fit. He was entirely unaware of the cloud of anxiety hanging over you as he loaded up your favorite movie. 
Your dorm had never felt as cramped as it did at this moment. Enzo plopped down on your bed. The scene of the crime. You climbed in on the other end and resigned yourself to sitting perfectly upright and rigid while he made himself comfortable. Enzo looked at you strangely. Usually, the two of you would be cuddling. 
“What are you doing all the way over there?” Enzo asked, spreading his arms out. “Come cuddle.”
You sighed internally. This felt like tempting fate, but what could you do? If you refused, Enzo would definitely know that something was up. As slow as a snail, you scooted closer to his side. He took one look at you and shook his head before hauling you over to him. Besides being manhandled, the position was quite familiar. You tucked against his side, head resting on his shoulder while he nuzzled his cheek against your hair. 
Enzo pressed play and you started to relax while the movie unfolded. The peace didn’t last for long. As the opening scene played, Enzo absentmindedly tugged at the hem of your shirt. Again, his affectionate nature wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Yet you couldn’t help but hold your breath as he rubbed soothing circles against your hip. While the gesture usually comforted you, it had the opposite effect now. 
“You’re so tense, love,” Enzo murmured. His voice sounded so deep and delicious.
“It’s been a stressful week.”
“I bet.” 
You shuddered as he trailed his fingers over your spine, drawing patterns along your skin. Temptation wasn’t knocking at your door. It was kicking it down altogether. Enzo shifted, brushing his knuckles just below the hook of your bra. 
“This can’t be comfortable,” he said, hooking a finger around the band. “Maybe you’ll feel more relaxed with it off. Don’t you think so, sweetheart?” 
There was no time to analyze what the fuck was going on. All of your efforts were spent solely on fighting the urge to moan. Enzo toyed with the band, waiting for your answer. 
“Yeah,” you said breathily. “I think—I think you’re right.”
“Course I am. Let me take it off for you then, yeah?” 
“Okay.” 
Enzo unhooked your bra with a flick of his fingers. Almost like he had long mastered the art and this was merely just child’s play. He helped you shrug out of your bra and carelessly tossed it to the side. You sighed softly as Enzo switched to long, purposeful strokes. He started at your hips, then your stomach, gradually moving up until he was barely an inch away from the underside of your breasts. Your eyes fluttered close, completely lost to his touch. They opened again when Enzo nuzzled his nose against yours. 
“Hi,” he said with a smile. 
“Hi,” you whispered. “What are we doing, Enzo?” 
“Nothing that I haven’t thought about a million times over.”
“You’ve thought about me like this?” 
“I’m always thinking about you,” Enzo admitted. “Sometimes it’s just cuddling or holding hands. Just sweet stuff cause I love touching you like this, but other times…other times I dream about you like you dreamt about me.”
Your breath hitched. “You know about my dream?” 
“I heard you in the common room earlier.”
“I’m sorry,” you said. “I don’t know what came over me. That’s why I haven’t talked to you much this week. I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”
Enzo took your hand and slid it down the front of his gray sweatpants. You gasped when you felt how hard he was against your palm. “Do I feel uncomfortable to you, sweetheart?”
You shook your head, biting down on your lip. You didn’t trust yourself with words at the moment. Enzo nuzzled against you, littering soft little kisses in his wake. He pecked and nipped at your neck, your collarbone, your jaw. 
“You drive me fucking mad, you know that? I want you so badly I’d literally get on my knees and beg if you asked.”
The tension was too much for you to bear. You pulled him in by the front of his shirt and pressed your lips against his. Enzo groaned into your mouth. The hand underneath your shirt crawled up until he was cupping your tits, rubbing his thumb over your nipples. Enzo tried to keep the kisses soft. He intended to savor it, but every ounce of self control went out the window the second he heard you moan. 
Enzo flipped you over so that you were straddling his lap. He looked down and realized that you were wearing one of his old shirts and the sight of it made him even harder. The tiny shorts you were wearing was a pesky little barrier, but it didn’t stop him from grinding his hardness against your ass. He tugged at the hem of your shirt. 
“Take this off, right now. I need to feel you, pretty girl.”
He watched as you peeled off the shirt. Enzo did the same, tossing both articles of clothing over the side of your bed. He groaned at the skin to skin contact. Enzo smiled as he drank it all in. 
“You’re so fucking beautiful.”
“You’re not bad to look at either, Enz.”
Enzo chuckled. “Cheeky girl. Come on, then. Shorts off too.”
You took off your shorts as Enzo slipped out of his sweatpants and boxers. He kissed you again, sloppy, filthy, and downright obscene. There was plenty of panting and groping as the two of you explored each other’s bodies. Enzo practically purred into your ear as you rubbed over his shaft. He felt like velvet in your hands. When you flicked your thumb to spread the bead of precum over his tip, Enzo released an animalistic growl. 
“Oh fuck,” he whimpered. “Gods, I need to be inside of you right fucking now or I’ll die.”
There was no time to slide off your panties. Enzo merely yanked it to the side and guided you over him. He kept his eyes on you as you sank down slowly, taking him inch by inch. Enzo groaned, digging his fingers into your hips while you adjusted to his size.
“Goddamn, you’re so wet and so fucking tight.” 
You had no idea that such filthy words could sound like music in your ears. Enzo may have been sweet as sugar, but you knew that he wasn’t innocent. He was far too cheeky to be anything but downright dirty in bed. 
Enzo was also extremely responsive. He made sure to praise and worship like your body was an altar and he was the most pious believer. 
“Enz, gods,” you moaned as he flicked his tongue over your nipple. “You’re really good at that.” 
“Yeah?” He asked cheekily. “You think so?” 
You chuckled. It was such an Enzo comment. If you weren’t actively losing your mind, you might’ve rolled your eyes at him. Whatever fantasy your mind has conjured paled in comparison to reality. Sex with Enzo was easy. You knew him and you trusted him. It was like breathing air. 
Every moan and whimper only helped you grow more and more attuned with each other’s bodies. The sounds you made were a special language of its own, one that only you and Enzo understood.
“That’s it, princess. You’re taking me so well.” 
“Like that?” you asked, rolling your hips. 
Enzo groaned in response, which made you smirk in satisfaction. He chuckled and kissed you deeply. “Ride me harder, sweetheart. Fuck…yeah just like that.” 
He moaned into your mouth, meeting the roll of your hips with thrusts of his own. Enzo pressed his forehead against your, his long lashes kissing the tops of your cheekbones while he pressed you closer. The deep angle in which he drove into you had you clawing at his back. 
“Oh gods, oh fuck. I can feel you clenching around me, pretty girl. You’re gonna cum for me like a good girl, yeah?”
“I’m so close.” Enzo flipped you onto your back and fucked you into the mattress. The tension uncoiled in your core until you were panting, chasing after that sweet release. “Oh—oh gods, Enzo.”
The orgasm knocked the very breath from your lungs. It was a total out of body experience. Your back arched, your toes curled, and you screamed his name, but none of it registered past the pleasure of coming. As soon as Enzo felt you creaming him from base to tip, he came too. 
It was strangely beautiful to watch. Enzo was mesmerizing. With his sweat slicked skin and swollen lips, strands of his dark hair clinging onto his flushed cheeks. You’ve never seen such a pretty sight. 
The two of you stayed curled up into each other. Enzo slowly pulled out and placed a tender kiss on your temple. This time, there wasn’t a single hint of hesitation as you cuddled up against his side. He was warm and comfortable, lulling you into sleep as he tangled his long legs with yours. 
You didn’t know how long you drifted off. It only felt like a few seconds later when you found yourself on your stomach, blinking sleepily up at Enzo. He smiled, kissing along your spine as he pried your legs apart. You groaned into the pillow as he thrusted lazily from behind. 
It was dark as night outside when you were finally done. You couldn’t even remember how many times he made you cum. All you knew was that you were in complete bliss as you and Enzo sprawled out on your sheets. 
You looked up at Enzo. He looked down at you. The two of you burst into a nervous fit of giggles.
“Shit. Did we just—“
He nodded, curling a strand of your hair through his fingers. “Yeah, we definitely did. Two. Three. Four times? I honestly lost count.” 
You chuckled softly. There was a moment of silence as you collected yourself. Enzo lowered himself down so that you were facing each other. 
“Penny for your thoughts?” He asked, nudging your cheek with his nose. “Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, pretty girl.” 
Despite your steamy activities, you had never felt more shy than when he brushed his lips across your knuckles. 
“I care about you, Enzo and I know you care about me too. Tonight was….fuck. Tonight was great. I just want to make sure this doesn’t change our friendship.”
“Of course it’s going to change things,” Enzo said matter-of-factly. “You think I can stay just friends with you after that?” 
You swallowed thickly. “I don’t want you to feel obligated. I know you don’t really date. I mean, half the school’s asked you out and you’ve turned them all down, so I’m not expecting to be the exception. It’s alright if you just want this to be casual.”
“I don’t. I’ve said no to everyone because I’ve been waiting for you. You are the exception, Y/N. It’s always been you.” 
“Really?” you whispered, biting back a smile. “You mean that?” 
Enzo nodded and kissed your fingertips. “Sweetheart, you’ve had me in the palm of your hands since we were eleven. Of course I mean it.” 
You didn’t try to hide your smile. You were absolutely beaming. “So you don’t want things to be casual?”
“There’s nothing casual about what I feel for you.” 
“Okay,” you said, processing his revelation. “I don’t want things to be casual either. It might be selfish, but I think I want you all to myself, Enzo.” 
He released a sigh of relief. “Oh thank fucking Merlin. I want you all to myself too, Y/N.”
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sashaforthewin · 9 months ago
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Multi-chapter fic on Ao3
Steve had been enjoying a nice relaxing lounge by the pool despite it being night. He had his hearing aid off and his fruity drink and a romance novel Robin had let him borrow. He was determined to have a good time despite the circumstances. 
Someone tapped his foot, scaring the crap out of Steve and making him drop his book and nearly knock over his drink. 
It was a fellow cruise passenger and he was saying something. Steve turned his hearing aid back on.
“Sorry, what?”
“I asked why you were out here instead of at the concert,” repeated the man with a smile.
“Oh, um. I’m not actually a fan of metal music. It gives me headaches if I listen to more than one or two songs in a row,” Steve admitted sheepishly.
This stranger was still clearly a metal head, but he looked significantly less scary than most of the ones he had seen so far that day. Everyone Steve met had been nice, but Steve hadn’t felt comfortable telling anyone he wasn’t a fan until now. Maybe because it was just the two of them out here and he was smiling so cutely. 
“Not a metal fan? Well damn, not to critique your life choices, but I think maybe going on a metal cruise wasn’t an ideal choice for you? I’m Eddie, by the way.”
“Nice to meet you, I’m Steve.”
There were plenty of deck lounges around, all empty, but Eddie sat down on Steve’s right next to his legs. 
“Steve. So Steve, why are you on a metal cruise when you don’t like metal? These tickets were not exactly cheap and there’s no way you missed the theme, it was pretty clearly advertised,” Eddie asked teasingly.
Steve looked Eddie over, noting that he was actually pretty cute. Pretty eyes, nice full lips, dimples, and he was that type of lanky Steve was drawn to. He had good skin and his hair had some volume and texture to it, Steve could work with that. Bit of a fixer-upper, but a better starting point than most of the men that had flirted with him since his last failed relationship. He also had the vibe, so Steve decided this guy would be fine to open up to. 
“Well, Eddie, I bought this ticket for my dear friend Dustin for his birthday, but then the little shit went and outed me to my parents. Accidentally, of course, and he feels like shit about it. But still, that got me kicked out of my home so maybe I’m being petty but I decided he shouldn’t get to go on this cruise after all. I forgive him, it really was an accident, but still, gotta teach him a lesson.” Steve shrugged. “And I would’ve gotten the ticket refunded but the money would’ve gone back to my parents and they clearly don’t deserve to get anything back from me. So, instead of trying to figure out how to sell a ticket to a very niche interest cruise, I figured I deserved to just come and treat myself for four days before I have to go back to living in my ex-girlfriend’s basement. It’s actually pretty nice to have the ship to myself while all you guys are in there shaking your heads to loud music.” Steve gestured to the pool and the drink.
“Ex- girl friend’s basement?” Eddie asked.
“Shut up, I’m bi.” Steve smacked Eddie on the arm with his book. 
Eddie grabbed the book and looked at it as he replied, “Hey, just checking to make sure I’m not barking up the wrong tree.”
“Oh? Is that what you’re doing, barking up my tree?” Steve said, playfully.
“If you’ll let me,” Eddie flirted back.
“So how come you’re not in the show right now?” Steve asked, gently stealing his book back from Eddie’s grasp.
“Oh, I’m touring with those guys right now, I have heard them play the same set like fifteen times already. I’d much rather be out here getting to chat with you. You know you’re beautiful, right? How come you don’t live with your boyfriend? Or girlfriend?” Eddie asked, quite obvious in his fishing for information.
“I’m single and yes, I do know I’m beautiful, but I still like hearing it. Are you like a roadie or something?”
“Actually,” Eddie said, “I’m the lead guitarist in the headlining band. We play tomorrow night. Can I buy you another drink? Maybe dinner?”
“The, uh, the bill goes to our cabins,” Steve answered, too shocked that an apparently famous musician was asking him out to respond appropriately.
“Baby, I’ll put your entire tab on my cabin if you’ll let me. You are the most beautiful, and dare I say cleanest man on this entire boat. Metal heads are great, but they aren’t really my type.”
Steve takes a sip of his cold drink just to make sure he’s not fallen asleep and dreaming. The ocean is calm and the moon is full and he is most definitely awake.
“And what is your type?” Steve asked. 
“Handsome men with soft hands who will let me pamper them,” Eddie said, picking up Steve’s hand and feeling his lack of calluses. He placed a kiss onto each finger tip. “These hands aren’t meant for labor, let me spoil you rotten.”
Well, Steve reasoned, even if this ended up being just a weekend fling, it was going to be worth the price of admission.
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simpee9000 · 3 months ago
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Not Just Friends - 8 -
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M.List : Prologue : Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 4 : Part 5 : Part 6 : Part 7 : Words 2.6k
Childhood best friends turned into something more, at least with the label. Katsuki Bakugo, a fast-rising hero and fast-learning guy who is ever so slow in getting attached to and loving someone. Even three long years into a relationship, and your friends even forget you're even dating. Nothing happening, spare a few kisses.. like 3 kisses, during high school. Graduated and living together, and you guys have done absolutely nothing to further the relationship. Are you sure you're not just friends? Also not edited!! CW: Smut, brief domestic violence discussion, virginity loss, aggressive flirting from creeps, gore with pro hero stuff (lmk if i missed any) Applies to all chapters regardless of it is in said chapter.
"It's been two weeks," you pointed out, telling yourself and him.
"That doesn't mean you have to be okay already," Katsuki huffed at you, crossing his arms as he leaned against the makeup table in front of you.
You were going on for the interview that you promised that night. Truth quirk and all. They were prepping you right now for it, covering the dark circles under your eyes as they made sure to add highlights.
"I go back to work tomorrow, I want everything to be dealt with before hand," you dismissed. You wanted your plate clean so you could throw yourself fully back into work, you were itching to use the equipment. "Besides, Aizawa is here. He'll make sure to turn off the truth quirk if needed."
He grumbled, watching you intently as you got up, makeup finished and TV ready. "I don't like this." He didn't want you to go back to step one, even if you claimed to be fine.
"I know," you patted his arm, he's been trying to convince you not to. But his PR manager advise you to do it, knowing if you switched up that the public would think the worst.
An assistant knocked on the door, peeking through when you told them it was okay. "You're on in five," and with that, they left.
You swallowed nervously. "It's not to late," Katsuki offered.
"I said I'd do it, so I will," you looked yourself over in the mirror one last time, brushing your clothes smooth before you walked to the door. Katsuki following behind as you waited behind the curtain, ready for your cue. You made eye contact with Aizawa who was on the other side, next to the interviewer with a truth quirk. You gave a small wave and gained a nod back.
"Remember that you can dodge the question, it's not considered lying," Katsuki informed you for the millionth time, going down his prep list, "I studied them, they make you say the truth but not blurt it, so you have time to form your words."
"And now we have Dynamight's girlfriend," the talk show host called your name, greeting you on stage. "She'll be giving us all the details of her juicy relationship with our number two hero! All under a truth quirk." You walked onto the stage, giving Katsuki a nervous smile before turning to wave at the crowd.
It wasn't your first interview but it was the first major one. A huge live audience that filled the room. You shook hands with Gossip, the hostess nickname for the public. Shaking hands with the truth quirk interviewer as well before sitting down. Aizawa stayed off stage, ready to cancel things if needed.
"Nell, here," Gossip called attention to the truth quirk, "Known as 'Spills' will activate her quirk and ask questions about her secret relationship with Dynamight." Nell waved at her introduction, smiling brightly. "We've opened questions to the audience as well, so let's get started," Gossip grabbed a stack of cards from her desk, nodding to Nell to start.
You crossed your legs, hands clasped in your lap as you waited for the effect.
Gossip handed Nell the cards to read out. "You were the one on the phone with Dynamight two weeks ago, correct?"
"Yes, called me while I was making dinner," you laughed trying to add anything you could to the questions because you wanted good press.
"How long have you been dating?"
"Three years," you answered easily, feeling the small buzz of the truth quirk in your mind, "Since second year of high school, even though I liked him way before that." Well, you haven't meant to say that, the truth quirk making the small bit of information slip out.
Gossip grinned at what you were saying. "And you've never liked Deku? No romantic feelings there?"
"He's like my younger brother, absolutely no feelings there," you confirmed.
"You don't even find him attractive?"
"I do, just not like that. I only have eyes for Katsuki really," you didn't even know why you were anxious at this point. Part of you was worried it'd make you slip up, say something in the wrong way and make it seem like you wanted him.
"How cute!" Gossip gushed to the crowd. "Well now that we have that settled, lets get to the nitty gritty." You paled at that.
Opening your mouth the protest before Nell interrupted you, "What about Dynamight annoys you the most?"
You rolled your eyes, "He leaves his socks everywhere. Literally only his socks, everything else he is a neat freak about."
"Anything else?" they pushed for something more.
"He literally argues with himself while getting ready, calling his teeth stupid for getting dirty," you ranted, glad you had no real issue with him.
Nell and Gossip shared a look, unsure of where to go. "What do you love most about him?" the decided to switch from negatives to positives, trying to feed his fan base.
"Oh," you paused, mind swirling with too many truths, "He remembers all the small things," you settled on, talking fondly, "He bought an extra chair for his office because he knew I hated the ones he had. He might not talk a lot but he does so much."
The crowd swooned at how fondly you talked of him.
"Why are you with him?"
"Cause I love him?" you questioned back confused, paleing when you realized you haven't directly said it yet. You've been together for three years and knew you loved each other, it was just hardly, if ever, spoken.
"How about we open questions to the fans?" Gossip turned from you and pointed at someone who raised their hand.
"What's Dynamight's biggest weakness?" the crowd called out, Nell immediately asking you the question.
You froze, Aizawa was being distracted and couldn't save you. You faintly heard Katsuki's loud foot steps coming up, trying to save you.
"He loves his back being popped," you answered, truthfully, the interviews losing the spark in their eye as you didn't give good enough gossip. "Seriously, he loves it. Practically melts afterwards."
Katsuki stood next to you, grabbing your hand and pulling you to stand. "This shit is done."
"Dynamight," Nell called out as Katsuki dragged you away. The truth quirk likely making him stop. "Do you seriously love her?" She spit those words out in a manner that reminded you of the break in.
"Yeah, so fuck off," he barked over his shoulder, pulling you off stage.
---
In just the drive home, your phone was blowing up entirely. You were trending on Twitter, Tiktok, and any social media already. All they needed was an hour. You scrolled through TikTok as you curled in on the couch, swiping from one video of you to another video of you. People were gushing over your relationship, loving how he protected you and how you talked about him.
It turned the fan girls more on your side, having gotten a glimpse of your life with him. They concluded that you were one of them. You even saw videos of how you cheered him on during the first-year sports festival. They took any social media post with the two of you and over-analyzed it. Talking about how you looked at each other.
"Still looking at that shit?" Katsuki called from the kitchen. Currently packing up the leftovers of dinner.
"It's cute," you defended, "They found a photo of us during graduation," you lifted your phone over the couch for him to look, hearing him shuffle over to look.
It was a photo of you two hugging after the ceremony, probably seconds after he asked you to move in with you. "This is horrible for my image," he complained as he saw the caption, "Makes me look fuckin' soft."
You rolled your eyes, looking up at him from where he leaned over the couch, "You are soft."
He scoffed, "Sure."
Humming, you got up from the couch, moving to head to your room, wanting to grab a book from a box. You hardly unpacked, your room still empty as you've been spending the past few nights in Katsuki's room.
"Hey Kats," you called from your doorway, seeing more boxes in your room than before. Probably and entire third of boxes that you didn't put there, you were at work all day, busy with meetings while Katsuki got home early.
"What?" he asked when he met you in your doorway, looking over your room.
You stepped in, glancing into an open box and seeing Katsuki's stuff filling it. "What's all this?"
"Figured with you sleepin' in my room all the time we might as well share," he crossed his arms as he shrugged, leaning into the doorframe.
"Really?" you looked up at him, taking your eyes of the open box, lighting up inside as you looked at him.
"Why not?"
You've been waiting for this since he first asked you to move, but you knew that if you freaked out he would back out. You bit back a huge smile, joy seeping through your expression regardless. "Want to set things up then?" you offered, answering his unasked question of it was okay.
He didn't give an answer before he moved in the room fully, grabbing a box of his clothes and going into the walk in closet. You stepped out of your room, seeing how his old room was empty minus a bed. Smiling, you moved back into your room, grabbing another box of his clothes and placing it beside him before grabbing your own clothes and finally unpacking. You took two of the walls of the closet, him taking the last wall, having less clothes.
Cycling through each box until they were all unpacked, your room looking like a mixture of the two of you. His comforter but your sheets on the bed, pillows stacked the way you loved and his limited edition All Might alarm clock sitting on the nightstand. The dresser being spilt for the two of you with small touches of each of you adding to the room. Giving it personality.
It made you giddy, to see everything done up as a combined. You let a bright smile grace your features as you changed for bed, Katsuki showering in the connected bathroom while you slid under the covers. You grabbed a book from your nightstand and flipped to the bookmark.
Reading through the rest of the chapter before Katsuki came out of the bathroom, ruffling his hair under a towel as he walked in. Hanging the towel up and shaking his head like a wet dog to fluff it back up. He stayed shirtless, how he's been sleeping the past few nights, and only wore his boxers.
You eyed him over your book, watching his arms flex with any simple motion he made. Eyeing him as he walked to his side of the bed, slipping under the covers fully before wrapping his arms around your waist.
The motion was surprising, filling your stomach with butterflies as you accepted his hug. You were propped up on pillows, making it easier to read with the posture, his arm slipped easily under you, his other going under your book. He squeezed light, wearily of the wound that was still present on your left side.
"Your shower is so much better than the one in the hall," he grumbled, digging his face into your shoulder. His shampoo scenting the air as you leaned your head onto his.
"Our shower," you couldn't help but correct him.
"Do we want the old room to be your office? The other mine?" he questioned.
You closed your book, setting it on the nightstand as you held onto his arm. "Maybe one can be a guest room? Your mom called and said she wants to visit," you suggested.
"That hag been callin' you often?"
You slapped his arm for how he addressed his mom, "She's worried."
"Hm," he dismissed, "I don't care."
"The interview wasn't that bad," you changed topics, "Just made me say softer versions of the truth."
He took his head off you, moving to sit up so he could look at you, "They asked you about my weakness? Do you know how bad that coulda been?"
"But it wasn't, I did what I said and nothing bad happened," you matched his glare.
He rolled his eyes, falling back onto you.
"I surprised how cuddly you are," you said, not to tease but point out.
"Fuck off," he scoffed, moving to flip away from you. You hooked your arms over his shoulders, trying to pull him back but just got flipped back over with him, letting out a squeal of surprised. Situated right on his lap, close to his face. His hands held your thighs as you straddled him unintentionally. "'m not cuddly," he pinched your thigh.
"Sure," you teased now, "That's why you've been all over me."
"I can finally touch you, think I'm not going to take advantage of it?"
You pulled back, sitting up right on his lap as you looked down at him. Brows furrowed, "Is your watch always on?"
He shrugged, "Not always, but most of the time, 'round you."
Your stomach dropped, you moved to grab his hand and saw that it was on. Turning his quirk off. "You can't use it that often," you told him, worried.
"I turn it off before I sleep," he brushed off, moving his hand away from yours.
"When was the last time it was off around me?"
"When I was asleep last night," he answered easily.
"Katsuki," you frowned, "That's not good for you, you need to turn it off." You reached for his hand again.
He snatched it out of your hand, "The fuck's your problem?"
"I don't want every time you touch me you need that stupid watch on," you complained. It made you feel disconnected from him, like he had to hide his true self.
"It's not on all the fuckin' time," he argued.
"Then you should have no problem turning it off right now," you challenged. His face was all scrunched in distaste as he looked at you.
"I don't have shit to prove."
"You're using it as a crutch," you dug, "I shoulda never built it for you."
"So you would of prefered staying how it was? Don't want me to touch you?" he argued, getting frustrated that you were upset. Defaulting into anger.
"I'd prefer you," you clarified, "The actual you that doesn't need to suppress his fucking quirk."
"I don't need anything," he hissed, "I was doing it to make you fuckin' happy but now you're all bitchy about nothing."
You widdened your eyes, pushing yourself off his lap finally and moving to your side of the bed. "You'll kill yourself," you commented, "Not having access to your quirk is deadly."
"No I won't," he huffed, not moving from where he laided.
"You're right, cause you can turn it off," you decided, "I'm not going to touch you until I know it's off."
He sat up right, "Really?" he looked down at you.
"Yep," you popped the 'p', "I only made the watch for work training, not sex training like how you're using it."
"That's ridiculous," he tried to reason.
"Well, I'm going to be 'bitchy' about something that'll kill you," you crossed your arms, standing your ground.
He shifted, "So we're going back to square one? That what you fuckin' want?"
"Sure," your chest felt tight, hating how frustrated he was. But your side made sense. "I want you alive."
"I'm not going to die."
"Yep, cause I'm not encouraging you to turn it off anymore."
"Can't kiss you or anything then," he tried to threaten, failing to change your mind.
"Okay," you shrugged. Internally mourning the loss of it already.
"Seriously?" he was in disbelief.
"Goodnight Katsuki," you turned onto your side, making him unable to look at you anymore.
When he huffed and turned away you were worried he'd leave. Go back on sharing a room. Truly test how far you were willing to go.
But all he did was adjust onto his side of the bed, angrily turning his lamp off, darkness coating the room.
At least you had that, but who knows how long you would. You clutched at your chest as you sunk in on yourself. It would suck to go back to how it was two months ago. Not being able to kiss him, or hug him freely.
You've gotten so far and had to throw it away. But it was necessary. The nitroglycerin made his heart run slowly, he needed to have his quirk flowing or you didn't know what would happen. You weren't trying to risk it so you could feel him up.
---
-Next Part-
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girlgenius1111 · 2 months ago
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close to you part three
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alexia putellas x leila ouahabi x jenni hermoso x readera third installment of the orgy fic: rush by @vixwritesagain [all chapters + all OOYG chapters linked on her masterlist] jenni and leila embarrass their girlfriends. alexia and r being oblivious idiots once more 18+ for discussions of smut
---
The tension was palpable as you sat around the table, Alexia and Jenni occupied with their food and you splitting your time between taking sips of your drink and sharing looks with your girlfriend. No one spoke, which would have been awkward had you not been so wrapped up in trying to stop mentally replaying every sound Alexia made. 
What had Jenni been doing in there, and god why couldn’t you just swallow your pride and let Leila drag you in like she’d wanted to?
Too focused on your own stubbornness, and Alexia too busy fretting over just how much you’d heard, both of you missed the wordless conversation being shared by your girlfriends. Nodding once, Jenni leaned back in her chair, resting her hand on the back of Alexia’s possessively. Unconsciously, the midfielder relaxed. That was when Leila struck. 
“Ale, did you go on a run while we were gone?” Leila asked. 
“Uh… no?” Alexia gave her a questioning look, picking up the glass of water in front of her. 
“Oh, well Jenni must have been really good then. You’re walking with a limp.” Leila smiled. 
Alexia choked on her water, coughing into her elbow as her face turned red. Jenni gently patted her on the back, a grin rivaling Leila’s on her face. Alexia recovered, glaring at the defender across the table. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She snapped, returning to the food in front of her. 
“Really?’” Leila teased. “It sounded memorable.” 
It wasn’t often that Alexia was rendered speechless, but you couldn’t blame her. She glowered at Leila, her face beat red. You were about to scold your girlfriend, and maybe book her a plane ticket home for the following morning without you, when Jenni chimed in. 
“It was memorable. It sounded like you two had fun too. Sounded so pretty together - I wish I could have watched.” 
“Jennifer!” 
“You could have.” Leila grinned, settling her hand on your thigh under the table. “Maybe we could have been quieter, but she loves when I put my pussy on hers.” 
“Leila, I swear to god-” 
“We liked hearing. Alexia was so wet-“ 
“Jenni, I will break up with you-”
‘That’s why she was being so loud? I’ve never heard her like that before.” 
“No, it’s because she was riding my cock. It takes a little convincing but she comes the hardest from it, don’t you?”
Nothing either of you could say, no objection you made was stopping your girlfriends from proudly discussing the very lewd details of the past few hours. 
You turned your gaze towards Alexia across the table and raised your voice to a ridiculous volume. 
“The weather is nice, no?!” 
Alexia turned away from Jenni, her hand still attempting to cover the brunette's mouth, even as she replied. “Very nice! I like the heat.” 
Leila and Jenni just spoke louder, so you got louder, too.
“Wow. I need to see her-“
“I THINK IT’S GOING TO BE EVEN WARMER TOMORROW,” you shouted. 
“Yeah. She likes being held down, but it’s so hot when she starts-“
“I SAW THAT,” Alexia yelled back.
Finally, both Leila and Jenni fell silent, watching the two of you with amused stares. It was silent for a moment, a standoff as you glared right back. 
Jenni cleared her throat. “Leila, how did you start taking her ass? I want Ale-” 
“I’m going to the bathroom!” Alexia shouted, shoving back from the table and stomping away. 
The room once again fell into silence. You could feel your own flushed cheeks when two pairs of eyes fell on them. 
“You two are the worst. Stop it!” You hissed, shivering when Leila tightened her hand on your thigh.
“You're awfully rude for someone who just came. Loudly.” Jenni snarked, raising her eyebrows at you. 
You clenched your jaw shut, reaching down to fiddle with Leila’s fingers. In truth, it wasn’t so much irritation at them than frustration with the situation. 
“I’m just glad someone had sex today. Who knew sunscreen could be such a turn on?” Leila grinned.
“Sunscreen?” Jenni asked, tilting her head. 
“Sí. It’s not a type of sex!” 
Jenni narrowed her eyes at Leila before tilting her head a fraction. “What does sunscreen have to do with anything?”
“That’s why they were so turned on,” Leila supplied.
Stroking your fingers over Leila’s knuckles, you were almost embarrassed with how turned on it had made you. “Alexia asked me to sunscreen her back.” 
“And you said no?” 
“What?! No, I said yes. And she was so hot and slippery and I-“ 
“That’s why she was so worked up?!” Jenni interrupted incredulously. “She asked you to sunscreen her back and you didn’t have sex with her? What is wrong with you?!”
You opened your mouth to defend yourself, but the creak of the door down the corridor brought slow, quiet footsteps instead. Alexia reappeared, no longer looking flustered. Her face was back to normal, measured and completely expressionless. 
“It is cooler out. I am going for a run.” She announced. 
Leila opened her mouth, no doubt to make a joke about Alexia exercising after she’d just had a workout, but a sharp kick to her shin had her yelping quietly instead. 
Jenni turned to her girlfriend, a guilty look on her face. “I’ll come with you!” 
Alexia rolled her eyes. “No, you will not. You can stay here and pick which couch you want to sleep on tonight.” 
Jenni’s face fell. Watching Alexia go left a somewhat bitter taste in your mouth; whatever small alliance you’d come to with her just moments ago had evaporated, and she was back to refusing to make eye contact with you. Lost in your thoughts, it took a few tugs of your hand and your name repeated several times before you finally gave Leila your attention. 
“Bebé? Do I have to sleep on the couch, too?” 
“Well, I wouldn’t want Jenni to get lonely.” 
The striker laughed to herself, shaking her head as she got up and began to clear the table. “Ale will last maybe an hour without me in her bed.” 
Leila laughed too, pulling your chair closer until she could rest her chin on your shoulder. “I bought you ice cream for dessert. Chocolate, your favorite! No couch for me, right?” 
 “Chocolate is your favorite, Lei.” You stood up abruptly, leaving your girlfriend with a confused look on her face behind you. Leila would most definitely not be sleeping on the couch, but if you gave in too fast, you’d never escape the teasing. 
— 
“I’m so bad at this.” You grumbled into the darkness. 
Leila’s breath was even where her face was tucked against your neck. For a moment, you thought she must have already fallen asleep. Then, her thumb rubbed against your stomach. 
“Not bad, bebé. She just makes you nervous.”
“Sí,” you breathed back, “can’t you do it for me? I know you want to watch.” 
Even in her tired state, Leila smiled against your skin. “No. But maybe I can give you some inspiration?”
As Jenni predicted, just under an hour of her couch exile lasted before the bedroom door creaked open, and she heard her girlfriend approaching. She sat up happily, smiling even in the dark as the blonde appeared in front of her. Wordlessly, Alexia extended her hand, and pulled the striker to her feet. Jenni followed Alexia back to their bedroom, grinning as she went. 
“Stop smiling.” Alexia huffed, though she didn’t let go of Jenni’s hand even as they both slid into bed. 
Jenni frowned at her dramatically. “Better?” 
Fighting back a smile of her own, Alexia turned the lamp off, immediately rolling over into Jenni’s space. She let the brunette pull her close, arms encircling her comfortingly. 
“I’m still mad at you.” Alexia whispered. Jenni chuckled, something Alexia felt more than she heard. 
“I know.” The striker replied, gently kissing the crown of her girlfriend’s head. 
Jenni always let her be mad. Alexia loved that about her. 
— 
If you were expecting subtlety, you didn’t know your girlfriend very well. Leila had tried to drag you out of bed with her when she got up, but you only grumbled incoherently and yanked the covers up over your head. With a laugh, the defender kissed the covers where she approximated your head to be and left the room. You were content to go back to sleep for an hour or two, until you heard a loud giggle coming from the kitchen. It was flirty and adorable, and you were out of bed like a shot, realizing Leila was likely making good on her promise to ‘inspire’ you.
Sure enough, once you made it to the kitchen, you found Leila pressed up against Alexia’s back, smiling as she guided the other woman to cut strawberries on the plate in front of her. 
“Sí, like that. Now it’s a little heart!” Leila said enthusiastically, resting her chin on the blonde’s shoulder. 
Alexia was more relaxed than you’d seen her be this entire trip, and you couldn’t help but feel that it was a result of her being unaware you were in the room. She was completely content with Leila’s arms around her. 
You knew it shouldn’t make you jealous. Really, you did. And if anything, you certainly shouldn’t have been jealous of your girlfriend, rather than the girl she was touching. 
Leila was smiling at you, a glint in her eye as she pressed her lips to Alexia’s neck. She left a trail of kisses along the soft skin, up and across her jawline. The midfielder continued cutting the strawberries, unbothered by the woman draped across her back. 
She finished one all by herself, tilting her neck ever so slightly to the side to give Leila better access, while she looked up with a grin. “Jenni, look!” 
“Very nice, amor.” Jenni chuckled, watching closely as Alexia caught sight of you, her face immediately flushing. She went shy again, just like she’d been doing all week, yet she still didn’t seem uncomfortable with Leila’s body on hers. 
Alexia hummed quietly, fixing her attention back on the fruit in front of her, as Leila’s hands slid up her body. Your eyes widened as she gently cupped the midfielder’s chest, then sliding back down like she hadn’t done anything at all. 
And though a blush still adorned her cheeks, Alexia allowed Leila’s touch to continue, even seeming to lean back into the defender. 
That frustration remained at the forefront of your mind as the four of you moved outside. Your girlfriend kept herself within an arm's length of Alexia. Sitting on the same lounger as her, running her hands up and down Alexia’s tanned skin. It was maddening, and it only got worse. 
While you sat by yourself on your own chair, your girlfriend continued to try to inspire you, offering to braid Alexia’s hair. You expected the subdued captain to reject this offer, shove Leila away and make some quip about how this wasn’t a preteen’s sleepover. Instead, she quietly agreed. 
A pair of goggles hitting you square in the side of the head tore your attention away. Jenni smirked from where she was just peaking over the edge of the pool.
“Are you going to keep staring, or…” She called, nodding to where your girlfriend was working diligently on Alexia’s braids. Leila’s long fingers worked easily through the blonde’s hair, and you shivered, knowing exactly what those hands felt like on your scalp. 
As silly as it was, there was something transfixing about watching her build neat little braids, one after the other.
“I don’t understand you.” Jenni added with a sigh, planting her hands on the stone deck and gracefully pulling herself to sit on the edge of the pool. 
“What do you mean, Hermoso?” You asked, tearing your eyes away. 
Just then, Leila called your name, and your head whipped back comically fast. “Bebè, can you come hold this braid while I get a hair tie?” 
Without thinking, you slid the one you had on your wrist off and tossed it over to your girlfriend. You could have sworn you saw Alexia frown, just slightly, but it was gone before you could be sure. Leila returned her full attention to the blonde in front of her, and you looked back at Jenni. The striker pinned you with an icy stare. 
“What?” You asked. Jenni just shook her head, something akin to irritation on her face. 
“All done! Look!” Leila called excitedly, turning Alexia around so you could get a good look at her braid. 
“Pretty. Nicely done, Ouahabi.” Jenni grinned. Apparently, her unknown issue with you didn’t extend to your girlfriend. 
“Hey Lei-” You began, intending to ask Leila to braid your hair next. 
You were cut off by her. “Ale, your shoulders are so tight! Do you want a massage?” 
Leila missed the smile falling from your face, but Jenni didn’t. 
“Sí, that would be nice.” She said quietly, stretching out on the lounger so that Leila could straddle her back. 
Blinking hard, you got up from your chair, mumbling something about needing a snack even though you’d finished breakfast not twenty minutes ago. 
Finally, Leila seemed to understand that you were upset. She looked up at you with concern as you passed, reaching out to catch your hand. “Bebé? Are you okay?” 
“Fine.” You snapped, shaking off her hold and stomping into the villa. 
You knew you were acting ridiculous. It was just that Leila was paying you no attention, Alexia could barely look at you, and Jenni was being cold, and all of a sudden you felt shockingly alone. 
You threw yourself down at the counter, hiding your face in your hands. The door slid open behind you.  You expected to feel Leila’s arms wrap around you any moment, or to hear her voice in your ear apologizing followed by her lips on your cheek. 
Instead, you remained untouched. After five seconds of waiting, you turned to find that your girlfriend hadn’t been the one to follow you after all. 
Jenni stood in the doorway of the kitchen, arms crossed over her chest. Her stormy expression shouldn’t have made you feel like crying as much as it did. 
“What?” You asked again, raising both eyebrows at the striker. 
“What!” Jenni scoffed. “What is your problem?” 
“My problem?! You’re the one with the problem.” 
“No. Don’t you dare. You agree to come on this trip, you stare at my girlfriend, you put sunscreen on her, you make her listen to you have sex, but you can’t even act normal! If you don’t want her, that’s fine. I’ll get over it, Leila will get over it, but giving her mixed signals is mean.” 
You stared at her, mouth agape. 
Jenni continued, throwing her hands up in the air. “She’s so sad thinking you don’t want her - and she’ll be fine if you don’t - but stop playing games. If you’ve changed your mind just tell us-”
“What makes you think I don’t want her?” You cut in. 
The striker just glared at you. “You haven’t flirted. You haven’t touched her any more than she’s asked for. You haven’t tried. Even when she asked you to put your hands on her, you didn’t do anything.” 
“Jesus, Jenni! I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but your girlfriend has been avoiding me like I have an infectious disease. God forbid I give her the space she so clearly wants!” 
Jenni stared at you for a moment, before her whole body seemed to relax and suddenly her Cheshire grin spread.
“I really don’t think this is funny.” You seethed, furious that she had the audacity to come in here and shout at you, and then act like everything was suddenly fine. 
“You’re both so dumb.” Jenni chuckled, sobering up when you moved to leave the kitchen. She caught your hand, pulling you back in towards her. It was on the tip of your tongue to push her away and argue back, but any affection was welcome given the stone in your stomach. The arms which wrapped around you were familiar. “Not dumb. But you’re both too insecure for being such attractive people.”
“I’m not insecure.” You mumbled, words muffled by Jenni’s shoulder. Even as you spoke, though, a part of you preened at the compliment. 
“Maybe just dumb then.” Jenni teased, though you were hardly in a laughing mood. She could feel how still you were, not quite hugging back even though you longed to. “She wants you, cari. She told me the very first day. But she wants you to make the first move.” She pulled away, resting her hands on your shoulders. You looked at her doubtfully. “I swear. Alexia wants you. So badly. You’re all she talks about. She just wants to know you want her, too. Without Leila starting things, for once.” 
It was on the tip of your tongue to point out that one way or another, it would always be Leila that started things. Your eyes flicked over Jenni’s shoulder, to where Leila was still working her hands into the muscles of Alexia’s back. The blonde had sunglasses on, but she’d twisted her head. It seemed as though she was staring at the door. 
“You’re sure?” You asked. 
“Positive.” 
“This isn’t some prank where I’m going to go out there and she’s going to reject me and everyone’s going to laugh?” 
Jenni did laugh, then schooled her face a little as she turned to look outside too. “No. We’re not like that. And Leila would never let it happen. If she thought something was going to embarrass you, she’d put a stop to it.” 
“She embarrassed me at dinner the other night.” You pushed back, folding your arms as the chill of the AC started to get to you. 
“Not as badly as I did Ale. She’s still mad at me.” 
“You deserve it.” 
“Probably,” She admitted with a grin, then stepped behind you. 
For a few minutes, you’d thought Jenni had finally matured to adulthood. But then she yanked at your bikini string. The back this time, leaving the fabric hanging from your neck. 
“Jenni!” You snapped, pivoting to face her as your crossed arms protected your modesty. “We were being serious!” 
“I’m always serious,” she laughed. “Turn around. I’m about to get you laid.” 
You stared at her for a few seconds. 
“Or you can keep watching Leila on top of her. Whatever works for you.” 
You turned away from her once more. 
Jenni’s gentle fingers scraped against your back as she picked up the strings again and started tying. 
When it took longer than it should have, you shifted your weight. There was nothing else to look at but the scene outside. The ripple of the water, the tan swaths of skin. Leila, admittedly looking less happy than she had before, glancing towards the door every few seconds. 
“What’s the plan?” You muttered.
---
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nhlclover · 3 months ago
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𝐔𝐍𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 | 𝐋𝐔𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐒
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summary: you and luke say your goodbyes to jack and step into the newest chapter of your lives.
warnings: fluff, insinuation of smut towards the end
word count: 1.12k
The living room was a chaotic sea of boxes, turning your new apartment into a maze that the three of you had to carefully navigate. Some boxes were stacked precariously high, swaying slightly with each step you took, as if daring gravity to take hold. Others were haphazardly strewn across the floor, creating narrow pathways that forced you to sidestep and twist around just to get from one end of the room to the other. The faint scent of fresh paint still lingered in the air, mingling with the earthy smell of cardboard, a constant reminder that this place was truly new — truly yours.
“Oh god, this is going to take forever to unpack,” you sighed, brushing a stray strand of hair out of your face as you stood amidst the chaos that had consumed your new home. The task before you felt insurmountable, like you’d need a week just to clear a path to the kitchen.
Luke stepped closer, his presence a comforting anchor amid the disarray. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he pulled you into his side, his warmth easing the stress that had begun to coil in your chest. “Yeah…” he murmured, his voice low and soothing, before leaning in to press a kiss to your temple. “Maybe we start that tomorrow.”
Jack, who had been lugging boxes back and forth from the truck all afternoon, dropped the latest one—a heavy box labelled Kitchen—onto the couch with a thud. He let out an exaggerated sigh as he wiped the sweat from his brow with the sleeve of his shirt. “You sure you got everything?” he asked, casting a weary glance around the room that seemed to get more cluttered with each passing minute.
“I did a final scan right before we left… I think we’ve got everything,” you answered.
“And Jack, even if we forgot something, it’s not like we’re far,” Luke added.
After living with Jack for Luke’s first season in New Jersey, you’d finally decided it was time to get your own place. Jack had been a great roommate, but you and Luke had long reached the point in your relationship where it was time to be on your own. Although Jack had long joked about wanting you out of “his house”, you knew deep down he was going to miss having you as a roommate.
You slipped out of Luke’s grasp, taking a few steps toward Jack and giving him a playful poke in the side. “You know, Jack, I think you’re gonna miss me when I’m not here to clean up after your messes.”
Jack scoffed, though the smile he tried to suppress betrayed him. “Please, I’ll finally have some peace and quiet without the two of you bickering constantly.”
You and Luke both scoffed, seeing right through him. “Yeah right, you’ll be lost without us here.” you teased.
He rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
Luke chuckled, shaking his head at his brother. “You know, you can admit you’ll miss her, right? I know I would.”
Jack shook his head, trying to play it cool, but the small crack in his facade was obvious. “I’ll survive. I mean, who needs a sister-in-law who steals the last of the cereal?”
You laughed, the sound filling the room as you pulled Jack into a quick hug. Despite all the teasing, you knew Jack had genuinely enjoyed having you around. He had never complained about the extra person in his space, and you suspected he would miss the lively energy you and Luke brought to the apartment.
“Thanks for putting up with us, Jack,” you said softly, squeezing him a little tighter before letting go. “And don’t worry, we’ll still come around to raid your cereal.”
Jack smirked, shaking his head. “Just don’t make a habit of it.”
As you stepped back, Luke was quick to wrap his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close once more. The three of you stood there for a moment, surrounded by the boxes that represented a new chapter in your lives. The apartment you and Luke had chosen together was just a few blocks away, but it felt like a world of difference. It was the first place that would truly be yours—no longer just a guest in someone else’s home but a space where you and Luke could continue building your life together.
Jack gave you a mock salute as he headed toward the door. “Alright, lovebirds, I’m out. Don’t call me to help unpack.”
You grinned, watching him go. “We won’t,” you called after him, your voice filled with affection.
As the door clicked shut behind Jack, you and Luke were left in the stillness of your new apartment. The silence was almost overwhelming, but it was a comforting kind of quiet—the kind that spoke of new beginnings. You glanced around the room, taking in the boxes that surrounded you, before letting out a long, tired sigh and leaving Luke’s comforting grasp. “We should probably get a head start on this.”
Luke groaned, but you both knew you were right. Together, you tackled the important things—the bed, a few personal effects, and other essentials you’d need right away. When exhaustion finally got the better of you, you collapsed onto the couch—the only piece of furniture that wasn’t buried under a mountain of boxes.
Luke’s hand found yours, his fingers intertwining with yours as he gave you a gentle squeeze. “We did it,” he murmured, his voice filled with a mix of disbelief and pride.
“Yeah, we did,” you echoed, leaning your head against his shoulder. The reality of it all was just beginning to sink in. This was your home now. A place that belonged to the two of you, where you could make memories that were just yours.
Luke shifted slightly, turning his head to press a kiss to the top of your head. “I think we should celebrate,” he suggested, a mischievous glint in his eyes that you couldn’t ignore.
You laughed softly, lifting your head to meet his gaze. “Oh? And how do you propose we do that?”
A slow grin spread across Luke’s face, and you didn’t need him to spell it out to know exactly what he had in mind. Luke shifted closer to you, his lips brushing against yours. “We should christen the place,” he murmured.
The wave of exhaustion lifted, a new sensation of excitement filling your bones. You didn’t need any more convincing. The boxes could wait until tomorrow. Tonight, you had more important things to attend to. With a laugh, you tugged him off the couch and led him toward the bedroom.
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reidswhre · 2 months ago
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spencer reid x fem!reader
warnings: it’s silly and fluff
a/n: this is the intro of episode 7 from season 3, i founded it so funny so i made this blurb.
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“A popular theory among leading astrophysicists estimates that the hypermatter reactor would need about 10 to the 32nd joules of energy to destroy a planet the size of the Earth.” You didn’t exactly know what Reid was trying to explain to Morgan, but he looked cute.
Emily looked at you mockingly.
“Now, Lucas said it took 19 years to build the first Death Star, right?” Spencer looked at you.
“But if you look at The New Essential Chronology, there's a test bed prototype for a super laser that's been—” Morgan got up from his seat and headed toward Rossi’s new office.
“Where are you going?” Spencer asked Morgan, confused.
“Taking back the last five minutes of my life,” Morgan replied, and Reid made a face.
“I was listening to you.” You shrugged.
“I know you were, you always do.” He smiled at you.
“Don’t you want to know about this guy?” Morgan asked as he walked up the stairs.
“I do.” Emily quickly got up from her desk.
“I don’t! Are you kidding? No, no—This is dangerous.” You followed them.
You were starting to panic a little. Not for nothing, but this guy was pretty mysterious, and even though you might sound a bit like a people pleaser, you were dying to make a good impression on Rossi, and if he caught you snooping around his office, you two weren’t going to become friends anytime soon.
“I've got it all memorized. His books, his bio,” Spencer replied to Morgan.
“Yeah, books that sold over a million copies.”
“So?”
“That’s a million reasons not to come back, if you know what I’m saying.” Morgan explained to us.
I mean, of course, he was right. Why would a guy who had already ended his career years ago suddenly come back? He wasn’t going to do it out of kindness. But that wasn’t your problem.
“Huh!” Morgan exclaimed as he entered his office.
“Taupe walls. That’s a negative color.” Emily was analyzing it. “Cold. Distant. You know, emotionally, taupe is linked to loneliness and a desire to escape from the world.”
“I just figured the guy’s walls would be covered with plaques and commendations,” Morgan continued to Emily.
“Maybe he doesn't want to be reminded of past victories. It’s a new chapter for him.”
Spencer and you peeked into the office, you clinging to his arm.
“Whatever happened to the moratorium on intra-team profiling, guys?” Spencer asked the group.
“Come on, Reid. Team? I don’t think this guy knows the meaning of the word.”
“Probably not, but—We shouldn’t be here. What if he sees us?” You were quite scared.
“I don’t think he will, don’t worry.” Spencer took your hand, and you both entered the office.
“I found something. Looks like some type of religious art. Original maybe, definitely expensive.” Morgan showed us a painting in a frame.
You wrapped your arm around Spencer’s and leaned on his.
“It’s Renaissance art,” you replied to Morgan, looking at the painting in Spencer’s hand.
“If that’s original…” Spencer followed your lead.
“Is it?” Morgan asked.
“It’s kind of hard to tell, I mean, he’s into the classics,” you continued.
“What else?”
“Italian, strict Catholic upbringing, probably believes in redemption.” Spencer was pondering over the painting.
“I believe in a lot of things.” You heard a voice behind you, and it almost gave you a heart attack.
You lifted your head off Spencer’s arm, stepping away from him entirely. He gave you a puzzled look due to the distance.
“Catholic, yes. Italian American, 52 years old. Strict upbringing? Not so much.”
We shared awkward glances between us. This couldn’t be happening.
“Now the artwork? That’s 15th-century original, it costs more than my first house. And as for the wall color, it’s just a base coat, painters will come in and finish tomorrow.” He gave us an ironic smile.
You felt like you were about to die or something.
“Now, if you’re all finished, I think JJ and Hotch are ready for us,” he informed us. “Isn’t that how a team works?” This time he looked straight at Morgan.
You quickly ran out of there before the embarrassment swallowed you whole. Spencer followed right behind you.
“Hey! Wait for me.” You heard him behind you.
“Are you kidding me? I told you we shouldn’t have gone in! What a disgrace, I can’t believe it.” You turned to look at him. “What’s he going to think of me?”
“I don’t think he cares that much, really.” He took your hands in an attempt to calm you down.
“How could he not!? We snooped through his stuff! We profiled him! Oh, this is bad!”
Spencer laughed a little at you. “What are you laughing at!?” You frowned.
“I really don’t think it’s that deep, don’t worry.” He gave you a sincere look.
If you thought about it, it wasn’t that bad. He probably wouldn’t even mention it again, and it wasn’t like you did anything serious... at least you hoped so.
“You think so?” You looked back at him.
“Of course!” He smiled at you. “Come on, I’ll make you some coffee before we go to JJ and Hotch.” Spencer gave you a small kiss on the forehead, took your hand, and led you to the kitchen.
a/n: so this is how i was picturing Spencer and reader when they we’re watching the artwork.
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so cute i’m dying!!
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notjustjavierpena · 11 days ago
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Ubi tu Gaius, ego Gaia: Chapter III
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Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator
A/N: I'm excited to bring to you the next chapter! Happy reading!
Chapter Summary: In which you experience your wedding night and an uncomfortable conversation takes place.
Pairing: General Marcus Acacius x f!reader/you (no y/n)
Chapter warnings: +18, arranged marriage, historical sexism, probably historical inaccuracies, large age gap, religion in the form of Roman Gods, shitty parents, anxieties over wedding night, virginity loss, female masturbation, handjobs, piv sex, praise kink, dirty talk, painful sex but also not painful sex, creampie, politics, Marcus gets angry
Word count: 9k
Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57443332/chapters/154904269
Chapter III: You're a woman and a wife now
After you enter the room, Marcus closes the door to his night chambers with a soft click. He secures it to give the two of you an illusion of privacy despite the many servants walking up and down the halls that now belong to you as well, cleaning the rooms of any signs of guests so that new people can relish in festivities tomorrow too. 
“I noticed you regained your appetite. Did you like the feast?” He asks as he starts undoing his sandals with steadier hands than you can muster right now in your anxiety-riddled body, untying them where they stop just underneath his knees until he can step out of them completely. 
“Your cook is better than ours,” you compliment with a little smile, your arms crossed over your chest until you can hug yourself with your palms on your back. You try to self-soothe like when you had first met but the thought of the wifely duties that lie ahead makes your heartbeat pound in your chest in a dizzying fashion. 
“He is your cook now too,” he delves into small talk, trying to make a mundane situation out of something that so evidently weighs heavily on you. He is just about to continue when you hold up your hand to stop him, reluctantly having let go of yourself to signal that you wish to speak.
“Marcus,” you start in a soft voice without knowing where the sentence will go, doing the utmost to make sure that you are not sounding as if you are going to refuse to share a bed with him in case of evoking anger in him. He watches you curiously, graciously allowing you to interrupt him all the while you swallow the lump in your throat, “I must confess that I am nervous.”
You can barely get the sentence out before tears start to well up in your eyes, your throat constricting as you find yourself on the verge of crying. You reach for some of the fabric of your tunic, clutching it desperately as you hold a sob at bay. 
Marcus looks at you with sympathy that shouldn’t surprise you but still does despite the moment you shared the last time you were alone with each other.  
“What bothers you?” He asks despite knowing the answer already. 
“Is it not obvious?” You ask with a whimper, “I am dreading the thing that all wives so desperately long for on their wedding night. I have been told stories of blood and cries, of men being cruel in their passion, and— I know that it is my duty, that this is as important as the ceremony itself but it scares me. What if my body simply isn’t made for this act?“
It is odd to confess something so personal to a near-stranger but you suppose that there is no point in tiptoeing around the fact that you are united in marriage which demands the deepest form of vulnerability towards each other. A tear manages to escape your eye and it rolls down until it drips off your chin. 
“Carissima,” Marcus soothes gently. He dares walk to stand in front of you, his bare feet quiet on the cold floor and even though he can potentially reach out to put his hands on you, he does not, “Goddess Nox has given us plenty of time to take things slowly before dawn. These stories you have heard… I wish you would not think of me as such a brutal man. Our chambers are not a battlefield.” 
You reach up with the back of your hand to swipe away the tears that have started to continuously fall from your chin, catching some on your cheeks before they even manage to go so far. You feel a pang of guilt at your assumptions because Marcus is right and the proof is in the way he kissed you so carefully yesterday when you had asked. 
“I’m sorry,” you cry unhappily and stare down at your feet again, hating the way you come off as a scared child. You are married to a general of the great Roman Empire, meant to exude grace and strength even when the two of you are alone in your home. Your home. These chambers will forever be yours too.
“I know this is difficult but this is something we must do to start our lives together as man and wife,” Marcus coos back at you. He dares to put a hand underneath your damp chin to tilt your head up again, looking into your eyes with his own that seems to be miles deep with their brown color. You whimper but he shakes his head, “No more of that. I will not have you remember your first night in these halls with remorse and terror.”
His hand moves up to cup your whole cheek with how large his palm is, and as you feel his warm and gentle fingers on your skin, you close your eyes and lean into the same kind of touch that had made you explore yourself in bed last night. He smiles as you melt a little, “Very good, that’s it.”
Your eyes shoot open again as he praises you so effortlessly, a warmth spreading through your lower body at hearing words you have never heard from any man before. A tiny drop of need pools in your belly, making you bold enough to make a request, “Will you kiss me like yesterday? Perhaps then I might relax more.”
Marcus nods. You move to remove the crown of flowers that secures the veil covering your hair. You place it on one of the many marble surfaces in the room, handling it with the care that comes from your superstition as to what would happen if you were to tear it. You do the same with the veil, draping it across a chair while Marcus waits patiently. No tears fall from your eyes anymore.
You signal to him that you are ready and you don’t flinch as he leans close, the tip of his thumb resting underneath your chin while the rest of his hand is spread across your face. He pokes his nose into your cheek, pecking you there with featherlight touches of his lips before gently going inward to capture your mouth. 
The kiss is even better than yesterday. It makes you release the fabric of your dress in an instant, your arms coming up instinctively to wrap around your husband’s shoulders. You kiss him back with a desire that must have been asleep in your body because it wakes up as fiercely as linen catching fire. 
“What do I do?” You pant when he gives you a moment to breathe, your faces barely an inch apart. You might drown in his eyes. 
“You trust me,” he replies without hesitation and you can do nothing but nod slightly, so eager to follow orders that it terrifies you a little. You feel his strong hands bunch up the fabric of your tunic that’s draping over your hips as he captures your mouth once more, a soft moan leaving you as his tongue slips past your lips. 
He leads you towards the bed without pulling away. You can taste the honey and fruit from the dessert on his tongue, smell him when he forces you to breathe through your nose when his mouth does not leave yours. He smells faintly of scented oil that a servant probably recommended after a shave along his neck, of sweat and of himself, which you will fall asleep and wake up to for many days to come. He has you not worrying about yourself for even a second, not even when one of his hands reaches for the woven belt around your waist to undo it with utmost care. 
It sways in the air as it falls to the floor, lying forgotten for the maids to clean up tomorrow. He allows you a breath when he breaks the kiss but he takes the air from your lungs once more when his hands touch your shoulders. You feel lightheaded as he slips the tunic off of them, the soft fabric slipping down your arms and chest until it catches on your hips. You have never been this exposed to anyone before, the slightly cooler air outside of your clothes making your nipples harden and catch Marcus’ attention. He admires your bare chest without words at first but it makes you hesitate, knowing how effortlessly he had complimented your appearance when you had first met. However, when you reach up to cover yourself, he shakes his head. 
“You are radiant,” he praises and warmth goes to your face, eyes dropping to the floor at the idea that he might mean it wholly. You gain a shred of courage, pretending that you haven’t looked at the floor again by fixing your gaze on your skirt. You work the draping fabric over the swell of your hips, ripe for bearing children if that is what he should want, and let it pool around your feet. You have already had your blood this month, so you have no garments covering your sex. Suddenly, you are more exposed than you have ever even seen the depictions of Venus. Does he find you just as beautiful now that you are in nothing but the golden jewelry that your mother said he had sent?
Without word, your instincts guide you to sit down on the large bed and Marcus waits patiently while you crawl back on the linen sheets. You move your arms back to support yourself, bending your knees slightly but not daring to let your legs fall open like you know you probably should. You consider the pose of a siren, legs together like a tail and laying to one side to show off the curve of your body. 
“Seems like Venus has favored you. I shall wonder how your father has kept you in his house for so long,” Marcus finally breaks the silence but only to make you smile shyly, stirring up a little laughter and shortness of breath in your chest. Cupid seems to have hit you square in the chest with his golden-tipped arrow, filling you up with desire for your new husband when he says praise so effortlessly. 
“Are you going to join me now?” You ask, finding that nervousness is best fought by being direct. You gaze at his face to read him but you have no clue how these situations unfold, so you are unable to read his mind and foresee his next move. 
“You will not be ready,” he shakes his head. You narrow your eyes as you ponder what he means, watching him undo the knot of red fabric on his shoulder to slip off the top layer of his toga. He hangs it on the chair next to your matching veil. 
“Ready? But I am in your bed,” you let him know of your confusion. When he turns around to face you once more, you gasp at the sight of his sex, the length of it. He is visible through the toga now that the top layer isn’t covering him up anymore. His cock is outlined by it from the way he has gotten hard in response to seeing you naked, a thing you knew was going to happen but never could have imagined what looked like. 
“Come closer,” he says as he stands by the end of your bed. His tone has changed a little but you cannot confirm whether it has to do with him being aroused underneath the remnants of his clothes. It seems like a command now, so you follow through with a pounding heartbeat until your heels are pressing into the mattress right at the edge of the bed. 
“What did you mean?” You ask. 
“When you are alone,” he begins but the tone of his voice is still to the gentler side, his hand reaching out and hovering above your knee. He makes you gasp as he grabs it, carefully pulling it outwards until the most private part of your body exposes itself to him. His eyes only look down briefly, “Do you touch yourself here? Between your legs?” 
You glance away quickly as your heart leaps into your throat. The images of last night flood through your mind and you feel embarrassed, so you shake your head in response, “No, of course not.”
“I don’t believe your words for a second, Carissima,” he chuckles, his dominant hand going up your thigh until he removes it altogether to catch your wrist. He moves your hand to rest between your thighs, “Show me what you do.”
You release a breath you didn’t know you have been holding, feeling the warmth of your cunt against your fingers and how it aches for you to caress the spots you like the most. Your pulse is everywhere now but mostly centered around your clit, the pearl-shaped nub that you have explored just the night before. 
“I don’t do it long,” you babble nervously as you start to touch gently between your legs, two fingers rubbing in gentle circles over your clit. It makes you gasp a little, the sensations in your lower body heightened by being in another person’s proximity as you touch yourself, “I always stop right before… before something happens.”
“There’s no need to stop. Something beautiful happens when you keep going and get to that pinnacle,” Marcus teaches you with a kind expression, moving his hand to push your other leg out to the side. You are opened up to him like a lotus flower but he still doesn’t seem like he will move on top of you yet, crush you with his weight, and fall asleep afterward with horrible snoring that your sisters have joked about. 
You start to feel familiar wetness increase between your legs, your fingers gliding over your cunt easier and making you speed up your touches as the pressure increases. Marcus sees it from the way your slit glistens in the dim light of the oil lamp on the nightstand. He encourages you, his cock even more prominent underneath his clothes, “If you have touched between your thighs, you will know of what I speak. I see it now, the signs of your body welcoming intrusion by making itself warm and wet for me. It will feel like you are missing something… I assure you that I will give it.”
You furrow your brow at those words while you stroke yourself and feel a flutter of pleasure intense enough to make you moan, Marcus’ eyes dropping to his own lap where his length twitches. He readjusts himself with a soft groan and then something clicks. You do feel exactly like he said, perplexed by why you have not noticed the gaping emptiness all the other times you have done this. 
Experimentally, you reach lower to prod a finger at your entrance and you groan at the way it slips effortlessly inside yourself. You aren’t sure what to do next, letting the finger stay still inside of you as you get used to the unusual pressure, but the heel of your hand starts grinding down onto your clit in earnest. 
Marcus steps a little closer at the temptation you bring him with your growing pleasure. He squeezes your thigh and you nearly laugh in surprise when you can feel your walls squeezing your finger, “Will I not hurt you if I… grip you with my…”
You cannot say any of the words you know. Cunt, heat, sex. It somehow feels more exposing, more intimate in a way than the physical gestures you are performing for him. You hear him laugh but his eyes are not cheerful when you find them, instead, they’re dark with lust and you squeeze your digit again. 
“On the contrary,” he touches himself on top of his toga, his stomach rising and falling faster than just a moment ago when he didn’t have a hand on himself, “It’ll feel like I was made for nothing else.”
There’s the familiar gathering inside of your belly. Sweat prickles at your skin, pleasure steadily blossoming from inside of you as you reach a point of no return. This would be where you would stop back home, leaving you sensitive and emotional as you forced sleep onto yourself. This time, you chase the feelings that terrify you.
You feel like the most fragile person ever; like you are made of clay that might shatter at any moment. You clutch at the sheets with your free hand, Marcus’ eyes sure to make you succumb to how brittle you are as he watches intensely. You bite your bottom lip, a small whimper escaping you as you teeter on what you have always shied away from. 
“Don’t stop,” he urges when you hesitate for less than a second. His breathing is ragged now, synchronized with your own as you suddenly realize that you are doing the same thing. He seems better at controlling it than you, “Let it come, so we can enjoy each other.” 
You cannot breathe, snapping for air as you press a little harder on your hard clit. You want to squeeze your eyes shut but then you’ll miss the look on Marcus’ face as he sees you come undone, so you power through and, and… and—
A cry of surprise and pleasure leaps from your chest as you find release. You lift your hips to meet your hand, your index finger slipping out of you as you instinctively know to focus on your pulsing clit. It is like nothing you have ever felt before, going on for several maddening seconds where you don’t know whether to chase more or stop when you can do nothing but tremble from the sensation. 
The linen on the bed is wet underneath you and a cockiness within you tells you that you could handle him tenfold if you wanted. You are disoriented by the heat ebbing out of your body, leaving you in a state of daze and a mix of emotions that you cannot fathom has nothing to do with the wine during the feast. You let your hand rest on your stomach, feeling your panting underneath it and suppressing a giggle that bubbles up all the way from your belly. 
“Will it be like that every time?” You ask and stretch your legs to let your feet hang out over the edge. 
“It can be,” he replies with slight amusement, hiding a lopsided grin. He is standing with his knees brushing against the bed, having itched to get as close as possible without overwhelming you and perhaps scaring you off. He lets your foot brush his toga, “However it might get better with time and practice.” 
You stare at him in disbelief, not sure if you believe that there’s something even better awaiting you somewhere in your future. You stare down between his legs where he must be aching like you’ve been several times in the past. You are already aware that you are wrong in the assumptions you have about pleasure because you’ve learned so much in less than ten minutes. How will it feel when he gives it to you?
“Can I touch you?” You boldly ask and slowly find the confidence to sit up, feet planted on the floor. You are so close to his lap, “When you are undressed?”
“You can,” he nods, not able to hide the surprise on his face as you look curious above all else. He undoes the belt around his waist and lets it clatter to the floor, and you watch with nervous breath how he lets his own garments slip from his body until the whole of him is revealed. It is fascinating to see a man like this, much different from the statues around Rome and particularly where you sometimes have felt scared to look. 
He steps between your knees, looking down at you and the height difference should be intimidating but is not. Instead, there’s the calming reassurance of being watched and guided as you lift your hand to rest your palm on the softness of his stomach. He has muscles there, just a little less toned than what the working men back at the village sport. His arms are what hold his tremendous strength, the effects of carrying a sword or spear on the battlefield. He is gorgeous, you think to yourself while curiosity and unexpected heat stir in your loins. 
Your eyes wander while your palm skims lower. They follow the sculpt of his torso, a long scar weaving itself around his hip distracting you until your gaze settles on the sight of his erect cock. It is much larger than you expected - thick, long, and intimidating but somehow also beautiful - and the thought of it entering you brings new anxiety to your body and mind. 
“You are nervous,” he points out, chest rising and falling slowly as you explore the fine hair on his skin which becomes thicker the further down on his abdomen they are. You run your nails through the trail just below his navel, looking up as his cock jumps at the contact. 
“I try not to be. I’d rather be curious,” you tell him, finally bold enough to touch him where he is hard and straining. You wrap your fingers around his generous girth. He is warm in your hand as you stroke him lightly to simply feel the weight of him and it takes little else before he lets out a low, appreciative groan. The confidence his response gives you makes your mouth water but despite what your brain tells you to do, that seems over the line right now. 
Instead, you look up at him with big eyes as you continue in a rhythm that he seems to like because you can hear the catch of his breath. You think he might stop you when he covers your hand with his own but instead, he adds slight pressure to guide you in how he likes to be touched. 
You hadn’t thought this was how everything would go down. There’s a strange form of equality between the two of you when you are naked together, a comfortable feeling in your chest at the idea of a whole night of giving and taking pleasure from each other being before you. What you had gathered from what Cassius so disgustingly had tried to explain to you whenever you were by the river alone, it was supposed to be a cruel act for the woman. This is not cruel. 
Eventually, Marcus’ breathing has become labored and you know that he is within reach of his own pleasure. However, he tightens his grip on your hand to slow down your movements much to your confusion. 
“You’re a quick learner, almost too quick,” he says with a warm chuckle, removing your hand from his cock. There’s a bead of clear liquid at the tip, threatening to drip down onto your thigh. The room somehow smells sweeter when the both of you have been so close to experiencing a peak together. 
“Why did you stop me?” You ask curiously and let your hand drop to your lap. You can still feel his warmth radiating from his heated skin, it glowing with a sheen of sweat already. 
“I don’t want this to be over yet,” he explains with a few controlled breaths that seem to calm him. His jaw clenches as if he is in pain but he doesn’t sound like you have done anything wrong, “And it will be if I lose myself.” 
“Am I… are we ready now?” You question once more. 
“Lie back,” he orders with a nod. You do as you are told and he joins you on the bed with confident grace, as if he has done this a million times before, the mattress dipping underneath him. Gently, he pushes on your chest to make you lie down on your back. When you are comfortable, he lies down next to you with his body turned towards you. 
You see him come closer and meet him halfway, pressing your lips to his in a kiss even deeper than the first you’ve shared with him. He makes a noise of approval at your eagerness, cupping your face with a single giant hand while you cup the back of his head with both of your own. You try to initiate more kisses but suddenly his lips descend to your throat, leaving goosebumps in their wake as he pecks along the sensitive skin of your collarbone too. You start to feel impatient for another high with him, another peak of pleasure to dance its way through your veins. 
“Marcus,” you say with your fingers in his hair, “I’m ready.”
“Let me make sure,” he says while the hand on your face settles on your thigh instead. He rakes his fingernails across your skin when he goes inwards, causing you to gasp at the idea of what he means. Are you wet for him? Yes, you are. You know you are. 
Two fingers slide between your legs. He parts your thighs slightly to gain more access and then simply feels the slick that has been dripping from your cunt since you kissed him fully clothed. A gasp leaves you at the feeling of being touched by a man in a place that you’ve been told is your most private. In return, a smile spreads across his face and a satisfied hum escapes him. 
“You’re ready,” he whispers with his gaze fixed on you. Teasingly, he holds his fingers up before you and turns his wrist so you can see your wetness shine in the light. He then puts his digits in his mouth and licks them clean, to which you want to hide your face with a squeak. He describes you as ripe and sweet, juicy like the peaches in the Summer, all the while he shifts his weight and positions himself between your thighs. 
Feeling him like this - the skin of his rough thighs, the coarse hairs that feel nothing like yours as they grace your softness - makes a fresh wave of nerves wash over you. It feels like there’s suddenly a very short time to prepare for what you have come to understand will be a transformative experience. You start to tremble, looking down between Marcus’ legs and wondering how on Earth you are supposed to allow him into your body. Above you, you hear him say your name but it sounds like you’ve been trapped inside a bell jar. 
“We will go slow,” he promises when you look like a hunted doe. He has placed his hands on your thighs to soothe you, letting his calloused palms skim up and down your skin, but you tense up even more since he has barely touched you before. You swallow as he goes on, “You will guide me with your comfort. If anything hurts, I promise it’ll only be for a moment.”
“You will stop if I tell you to?” You ask with uncertainty. A part of you already knows that you will try to power through no matter the pain. 
“Yes,” he promises and removes his hand again when he realizes its effect on you. He places it on your chest instead, feeling your unsteady breaths underneath it, “But I need you to relax, Carissima. Take a deep breath and tell me what you fear.”
You do as he says, heaving for a large mouthful of air that makes your heartbeat settle down slightly as it fills your lungs. For once, you don’t shy away from his gaze as you talk about lying with him in such explicit terms. You chew your bottom lip after a few breaths, “What if it doesn’t fit?”
Marcus laughs and you feel embarrassed. He shakes his head as he notices, leaning over you to hover just above your lips. You hold onto the arm on your chest as he reassures you, “It’ll fit, I promise on the Gods. Your body and mine were made for this; for the act of making beautiful children.”
You decide to be brave and kiss him now that he is so close, and slowly, as you taste his mouth again, you tangle together in a way that makes sense for what you are about to do. Marcus is close enough to map out every detail of your face, one hand on your hip and the other resting just above your head. You, on the other hand, have grabbed both his bare shoulders, holding onto him tight enough for your fingertips to dent his skin. He has promised that it will be okay if you scratch him with your nails, that he, if he is completely honest, likes that sort of thing. 
“Okay, I’m ready,” you say with determination, feeling the way Marcus lets go of your hip to run his fingers through your folds again. You moan softly as he lets his hand gather wetness, your eyes going down to watch him take his cock in hand and smear it with slick. 
“Don’t look down there, look at me,” he guides you gently as he prods against your slit. You force yourself to meet his eyes again, a gaze in them that holds a mix of desire and restraint. He takes a deep breath that is followed by him starting to push forward, the feeling so intense that you whimper while keeping eye contact. 
“Shh,” he soothes during the initial sensation. There's a painful sting as the head stretches your walls that have never known such intrusion. It makes you breathe rapidly and shudder from discomfort until a cry leaves you when you are breached. Tears form at the corners of your eyes as it burns. It’s a feeling that you can’t describe, a fullness that feels unnatural and natural at the same time. He pushes beyond the thick head and it makes you tighten around him, so much he has to still completely. He looks angry but he isn’t, his teeth gritted as he continues to push despite the danger of finishing, “You’re tight around me, try to relax.”
“S-sorry,” you attempt to follow his instruction, try focusing on the exciting intensity of his gaze, the delicious way he looks at you because he wants you. His weight on you is so heavenly, his skin is warm against yours that is riddled with goosebumps despite not being cold, and the sound of his breathing reminds you of the way your own breath is rapid when you pleasure yourself. 
Yet when you seem to think that the worst is over, he goes a little faster with feeding you his cock and the pain intensifies by blooming into something more sharp. The air inside your lungs feels trapped as your breath hitches but you force it out until it releases into a pained cry. Mostly, you just want to stop but you’re reminded that this has to happen if the marriage is to be successful and legitimate. So instead, you clutch at Marcus’ shoulders and whine. 
“Am I hurting you?” He asks, resting his forehead against yours and stilling his hips. You nod at first but then shake your head quickly afterward, unable to speak in case you’ll sob. He doesn’t seem convinced, “I’ll try moving. I won’t go further in before you can handle it.”
You nod in approval, your heart beating so fast it is making your mind feel clouded. He begins to move with gentle, shallow thrusts of his hips, his eyes glued to you in search of anything that might tell him that it’s too much. The first few moments have you thinking that you might split in half but you find that the repeated fill of your cunt makes everything turn into a dull ache as you get used to it. Your noises are pained yet soft, soon switching to quiet moaning as he moves inside of you. 
“Doing so well,” he praises as you welcome him further without thinking. A sensation that you had thought would only be painful has kickstarted a different kind of feeling. It’s a warmth that spreads through your lower body, pleasure that mixes in with the rest in an almost insistent way. Marcus makes a noise that makes you clench around his cock, and he finds your mouth in a messy kiss, “I’m almost all the way in. It’s supposed to feel good. Does it feel good?” 
You nod repeatedly as you feel connected to him in a way that you never thought you would with another person. He is so deep inside of you and the discomfort that you thought would persist is fading away fast, leaving only a tug of pleasure that tightens more and more. You close your eyes and squeeze them shut as you moan a little louder for the first time. 
Without control of your body, your hips rise up to meet his and he fucks you a little harder. The friction is significantly more intense than what you have felt alone, but you can feel its effects mixing with your previous orgasm’s warmth. The room fills with the lewd sounds of your shared breaths and the scent of sex. 
Marcus’ hand settles on your hip, his incredible strength hauling your leg over his own hip so he can switch up the angle. Meanwhile, his other hand reaches down and pushes hard down on the back of your thigh to open you up even further to him. He stretches so his upper body towers over you and rolls his hips with controlled desire, mouth hanging open a little in his breathless state as he concentrates on making the pain disappear completely. 
It does a moment later. An involuntary moan leaves you when the head of his cock slides over a spot that seems different from every other place inside of you. Your eyes fly open after having been squeezed shut for so many seconds, fireworks going off in your peripheral vision. Your gaze moves down between your bodies to see a faint trace of red on his cock, setting your heartbeat into overdrive. You should be shoving him off now that you are bleeding but what the hell felt so good? He hits the same spot once again to make you cry out and crane your neck. 
“You like that? Was that all I had to do?” He asks with a satisfied smirk, breathing raggedly on top of you as he treats you to even more of the same pleasure. You want to come again, your hips rising to meet his thrusts more insistently if it means him giving you pleasure like that over and over again without fail. As your pleasure starts building into another peak, a shocked laugh leaves you. 
“How do you… How did you—?“ You start. 
“I knew where I wanted to reach. Feel that? That spot is made for feeling good,” he explains with a voice rough with his own pleasure before you manage to finish your inexperienced question, “I wanna hit that over and over, fill you up so you can feel it there for days when I’m done.” 
“Don’t stop,” you groan. 
“I’m not going to,” he promises but instincts tell you to make sure, that if he even falters a little, you’ll feel the frustration of no release like you have since you discovered what is between your legs. You tighten your thighs around his hips, locking your ankles around the small of his back and the move makes Marcus growl. 
He, who you are ready to call a master in the art of love, leans down over you and drives into you like a wild animal. You whimper but it isn’t of pain, the familiar feeling of ecstasy building rapidly between your legs again. He feels huge inside of you, the whole length of him throbbing against your overstretched walls. 
And he kisses you, seemingly not in control of himself anymore when he feels the same pressure in his lower abdomen. It is messy and sweet and rough at the same time, your hands cupping his face until they automatically slide up into his hair. You can feel his chest rub against your breasts, your nipples more sensitive than they ever have been and you moan as a fact runs through your head. No man has ever been this close to you before. Only the sun’s rays or the clouds’ rain has been this close to you.
You come once more with this thought in your mind, the intense and warm feeling hitting you as suddenly as the snapping of a dry twig found in the sun. You arch your back with a groan, feeling it even deeper inside of you than before because it seems to be the spot inside of you that has triggered it. 
“Oh! Oh Gods,” you moan into the air, Marcus’ lips having descended to your now-exposed neck and kissing with the same fervor as he had your mouth. His own noises have grown in volume, his cock seeming to respond to how your heat clenches around it. You have tears coming down your face without knowing why; you aren’t upset but rather quite the opposite. Everything below your navel is sensitive, slick, and used up. 
You feel it as he goes rigid as you have just done, a rough growl leaving him as he has his own orgasm. However, you instantly realize that Cassius forgot to mention something in his horrible renditions of love-making; the sticky, warm waves that come along with a man’s ultimate pleasure. You gasp in shock, looking down between the two of you as Marcus fills you up with his seed.
You cling to him, your hands grabbing at whatever they can while you whimper, and you stare at the milky white ring that forms around his length. He keeps going for a few thrusts more, and the noises coming from your connected bodies are on the verge of making you embarrassed. It’s squeaky and wet, but it’s not making you want to pull away. Instead, it makes you reach up to cup Marcus’ face so you drag his lips to your mouth and kiss him, the sensation of his seed inside of you making you feel more connected than ever.
You kiss for a moment before your husband buries his face in your neck. He leaves you empty when he softens, eliciting a weak gasp from you when you become aware of the sticky wetness smearing your inner thighs. Marcus pants against your already burning skin and chuckles without any particular reason. You are in awe of what has just happened, seeming to somehow know that this was the completion of the act. 
This act, once so unfamiliar and feared, now feels like a revelation to you. The new dimension of pleasure, so uniquely intense and intimate, makes you wonder how anyone gets anything done when they can do this all the time. You are sticky with sweat, dizzy with tears and pleasure, and by the Gods, you want to do it again and again with him. He will not leave this bed until you get tired of feeling this way between your legs. You think of commanding him this but you are already aware that it is an impossibility. He would probably laugh at you but given the way he lifts his head and looks at you now, he might also follow through on your order by sinking back into the mess between your legs.
You miss his weight on you when he rolls off, the both of you staring towards the ceiling. The room becomes very quiet in the aftermath, torches and candlelight flickering around you. You have a hand on your chest, trying to calm your racing heartbeat to no avail and breathing rapidly to catch your breath. Your whole body buzzes, feeling like it is aglow and warm, and you dare sometimes look at your husband out of the corner of your eye. He looks the same but less surprised by the state he is in, clearly experienced and you find it all enticing when everything inside you has shifted.
You let your back and legs relax fully into the bed. Marcus watches as you stretch your body, and there is some kind of tension between you that you cannot put into words. You know it stems from the silence that is also between you, an unspoken game of who breaks it first, and when you dare peek at him, you find him staring right back at you. Your heart rate spikes once more but Marcus holds your gaze in a way that makes you unable to look away. 
“Are you alright?” He asks after a beat. You see him look at you with a softness that reflects how vulnerable you must look right now. He reaches out to take your hand, brushing your knuckles with his thumb, “You are not in pain?”
“No. I– I’m fine,” you shake your head. You say the words and realize that they are true even despite your uncertainty at first. For now, your body feels afloat but you have a gnawing feeling that it won’t last. A thought enters your mind, “What do we do now? I mean, what does one do after being together like this?”
“Well, given our roles and the expectations placed upon our union, there’s a thing that I would like to do. I’d like to help you arrange yourself comfortably if you’ll allow me,” he gently releases your hand and shifts to sit upright beside you. 
You give him a puzzled look, not sure what he is talking about but you nod. It’s natural to trust him, you find, and his proposition intrigues you, “Yes, of course.”
Marcus reaches for the pillow against the headboard on his side of the bed. He fluffs it with care before patting your thigh, causing you to follow your instincts and automatically lift your pelvis towards the ceiling. When you have given him the room for it, he slips the soft pillow underneath your hips to elevate them, resulting in them laying comfortably at a gentle angle. 
Afterwards, he lies back down beside you but this time with his body facing yours. You try to smile at him but there’s embarrassment in your chest as the intention behind his act becomes clear. However, even as he senses your vulnerability, your new husband simply reaches for your hand again to kiss your knuckles. It is soft and intimate, it is kind reassurance in your time of transition. 
A moment after, he guides you to rest your palm just below your navel and places his own on top of it, caressing where new life may spring after tonight if Goddess Juno has the both of you in her favor.
"The pillow will help," he says quietly as he gently feels the soft skin on your stomach, the skin made to carry a child, "To ensure that our union bears fruit. Our alliance is only strong if I put a baby in your belly."
The words remind you of how your partnership is a part of something much bigger than yourselves, something to do with your father’s power and greed that you aren’t sure if Marcus feels too. Yet despite the impersonal nature of your union, the General’s tone is gentle and speaks of more than just mere duty. 
“And while we wait? What then?” You question, daring to entwine your fingers and feeling your chest flutter when he doesn’t protest. 
“We may rest…” He suggests with a smile, “Or, if you prefer, we may talk. It is different in every marriage.” 
There’s something about the way he words it that makes you feel more secure in your situation, that even if this is new territory, he is giving you permission to join in on shaping your relationship. 
You nod, “I think I would like to talk.”
“Then talk we shall,” he agrees without question, “Tell me something about yourself.”
You let go of his hand to place both palms on your stomach, looking to the ceiling as you reminisce about the life you have left behind back home. You tell him about the river all over again, about the sparkles the sun leaves on the surface of it, so beautiful it makes it seem like you can pick them with your bare hands. You tell him about wine and bread from the market, about a secret orange tree that you think only you and your sisters know of, and then you tell him about your sisters who all married for love. 
The latter makes Marcus shift slightly. A fleeting expression crosses his face before he gently clears his throat and gives you a small, hesitant smile to reassure you, “Do you think you’ll be happy here?” 
You take a moment to mull it over. You don’t want to lie to him but he looks so hopeful and sad at the same time, “I suppose that there’s always going to be a part of me that is going to wonder what would have happened if I had followed my own path and married someone I was deeply in love with, but I hope I will find happiness here. Perhaps it would have been you anyway, you never know. I would be as lucky as my sisters then.”
You say the last sentence with a twinkle in your eye, a soft and playful smile on your face, and Marcus looks almost shy, the importance and duty that he usually carries crumbling. You take the opportunity to see further under the surface, “And what about you? Do you have family that you are close to? I couldn’t help but notice that there were no formal introductions at the festivities.”
He hesitates briefly before answering, “My parents passed when I was merely a child. Thus the military became my family in many ways. I’ve always admired their dedication to each other. The responsibilities for the men I command seem like the next closest thing.”
“I’m sorry about your parents,” you say sincerely, touching his wrist gently, “I suppose it explains your dedication.”
He looks modest as he smiles, “I suppose it does.”
There’s a comfortable silence in the large chamber. Marcus looks down at your hand, opening his palm to invite you to place your own in it. You take his hand without hesitation and it feels natural, a thing so calming and warm, which invites you to venture further into his world. 
“May I ask you something?” You ask. 
“Of course,” he replies.
“Our conversation was interrupted earlier by one of your men, and I wanted to ask what was whispered in your ear. I hope I am not intruding—“ You tiptoe into the conversation, hoping your curiosity doesn’t come off too strong. 
He interrupts you, waving a hand dismissively, “We are husband and wife. I support the idea that we shouldn’t keep secrets from each other.”
“Yes. Yes, I quite agree with that,” you say with relief in your voice, “So you’ll tell me?”
“There was some unrest in the city today. The man was one of my men telling me that there’d been an incident - a confrontation - in one of the town squares. It led to the death of two of my soldiers.”
You gasp, “Gods! That’s terrible!” 
“The loss is shameful and upsetting, yes, but the people are hungry,” he explains simply, “Even the smallest of disputes can escalate when tensions are high. When one feels unheard by leaders, one can be driven to acts one might never have considered before.”
“But surely Rome’s subjects know better than to challenge Roman authorities?” You note with your brows furrowed, suddenly finding yourself speaking words that you have heard too many times around the dinner table at your childhood home, "A firm hand might be necessary to keep the peace. If the people are allowed this kind of behavior towards the empire - and thus the emperors - they might sometimes need to be reminded of their place."
There’s a shift so small that you could almost miss it in Marcus’ expression but disappointment clouds his eyes. You notice it because he follows it by subtly slipping his hand out of yours. He measures you with his gaze for a moment, “You don’t truly believe that instilling fear with unyielding force is the right way to rule?”
You sense his disapproval and feel embarrassed flood your system. With warm cheeks, you sit up and stutter a reply, "I... I suppose that's what I've been taught. My father always says that strength and control keep the empire strong and unwavering."
“And if I ask you to look past your upbringing?” He says it casually but there’s a command in his voice. Suddenly, the security you had felt moments ago is washed away by the feeling of being a mere little girl.
You look down at your hands, not able to keep eye contact despite how close you have just been, "I didn't mean to offend. I don’t— I don’t think I have ever taken the time to consider other perspectives. My father has given little room for such discussion."
“Is that so?” He raises a brow, “And does he seek influence in Rome’s leadership?”
"Yes," you reply hesitantly, still yet unaware of the implications of your words, "He hopes that our marriage might help him gain favor, perhaps even become an advisor to the emperors."
“It seems like your father was unaware of the fact that I served under Maximus Decimus Meridius, a man who believed in ruling with honor instead of fear. He would have done himself a favor by seeking alliances elsewhere if he aligns himself with ruling through oppression. Perhaps he should have married you off to the emperors themselves,” he says firmly, jaw tight and words filled with frustration, tingeing on angry. They come out a lot more venomous than you think are his intentions yet they sting nonetheless and you have to bite your lip to keep tears at bay. 
“I didn’t— I’m sorry, I was just repeating what I have always heard,” you stammer, swallowing around a lump in your throat. The vulnerability of your situation suddenly crashes over you like a wave trying to drown you, making you choke on a sob as his hard gaze scrutinizes you. You are young, barely out of childhood, and thrust into the role of a wife. You have never been expected to relay your views to anyone let alone a commanding general of the highest order in Rome. 
For a moment, an uncomfortable silence fills up the growing distance between you. You try to shift away on the bed but there’s a sudden ache between your legs from the previous activities of your wedding night. It’s shameful to look back at him but you have no one else to turn to right now. A tear escapes your eye but you find the courage to say what you need to say even if it is with a dizzying heartbeat, “My whole life, I have been taught to be obedient, to serve along with my sisters. My mother even. I don’t know who I am outside of that.”
Marcus suddenly mirrors your expression of shame, evidently grappling with his own emotions behind his eyes. He gently lifts his hand to catch the tear running down your face until it threatens to drip down from your chin. 
“Forgive me, I should not have raised my voice at you,” he says sincerely. He cups your cheek with a softening demeanor and you allow him, needing the affection and this is where you can receive it, “I know you have your concerns but I hope you can entertain the idea that this union might not just be a different cage.”
You nod, leaning your cheek into his gentle touch and earning a smile. There’s a promise beneath his words and despite everything, you allow yourself to feel hopeful. This man is not your father, actually far from it, and he is offering you something you are not used to; partnership and respect. 
Instead of answering him, you chew on your bottom lip and try to find the same courage that made him apologize so you can address the ache in your lower body. The pillow under your legs is all askew. You try to busy yourself by straightening it, “It has started to hurt where you…— Is that normal?”
"It can be," he says gently, and the hand on your cheek goes to skim over your bare thigh in an attempt to soothe,  "Your body needs time to adjust and recover.”
You pout as you automatically lie down again. You look like a child not getting their way, “Time to recover? Does this mean we can’t do it again?” 
Marcus’ expression flashes with amusement at your eagerness. He raises a brow, “Eager, aren't we? I admire your enthusiasm, but it's important that you give yourself time to heal. Rest might help.”
“Surely there's something else we can do?” You only just abstain from pleading him, tilting your head.
“This, my dear wife, was your husband's subtle way of saying goodnight,” Marcus chuckles quietly and you find that all tension has slipped from the room once more. He dips down to kiss your forehead, the tip of his nose skimming down the length of yours. He stares into your eyes, only an inch from you, “Say it.”
You smile and kiss him softly, “Goodnight, Marcus.”
“Goodnight, Carissima,” he whispers.You go to sleep next to your general, the man who is slowly becoming the commander of your heartbeat, unaware that your conversation has changed the course of your father’s future gains from your powerful marriage.
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