#will take suggestions for one if you have a idea and Ill just edit it later | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lotus-tower · 10 months ago

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The Swiss Cheese Model of Covid Prevention

An edited version of the swiss cheese model tailored towards the measures that you as an individual can take to minimize your risk of infection. Public health is ultimately what its name implies, public, but that doesn't mean you're powerless.

Covid prevention is not all-or-nothing. Think of it as risk reduction, rather than a binary.

Let's go through these step by step.

VACCINES

The current vaccines are meant primarily to reduce chances of severe illness, hospitalization, and death. They will reduce your chance of infection a bit--but not nearly as much as you might think. You should still get your boosters regularly, because avoiding severe illness is of course worth doing.

If you haven't gotten the updated monovalent vaccine yet, go get it. It is not a booster. Think of it as a new vaccine. It's targeted towards the XBB lineages, which are now the most common variants. Your last boosters were likely of the bivalent type, aimed at both the original Covid strain from 2020 and Omicron. The new vaccine is monovalent, meaning it targets one family in particular.

Some studies suggest that the Novavax vaccine, which is a more traditional protein-based vaccine, is more effective and safer than mRNA vaccines, and offers better protection against future variants. Of course, the data we have so far isn't 100% conclusive (the last paper I linked is a preprint). Make of these findings what you will, just something to keep in mind. The new Novavax vaccine's availability is still limited, especially outside of the US.

MASKS

Masking is one of the most effective ways to protect yourself. While it is true that masking and reducing Covid transmission protects those around you, the idea that masks can't protect the wearer is outdated information from the early days of the pandemic when medical authorities refused to acknowledge that Covid is airborne.

The key to protecting yourself is to wear a well-fitting respirator. You want to minimize any gaps where air might leak out. If your glasses get fogged up, that's a sign that air is leaking.

Headbands will always have a tighter fit than earloop masks (and therefore provide better protection). However, you can use earloop extenders to improve the fit of earloop masks. You can find these online. Your comfort in wearing a mask is important, but there are options for compromise.

The above graphic doesn't include elastomeric respirators. While some (like the Flo Mask) are expensive, they can be much more affordable than buying disposables--look for P100 respirators at your local hardware store, but make sure it fits your face well.

For more general information, see this FAQ. For mask recommendations (NA-centric, sorry!), see my list here or Mask Nerd's YouTube channel.

For situations where you need to hydrate but don't want to take your mask off, consider the SIP valve.

Not even N95s are foolproof (N95 means it filters at least 95% of particles--with the other 5% potentially reaching you). Most people will likely not have a perfect fit. There will be situations where you'll have to take your mask off. The key is risk reduction, and that's why the Swiss cheese model is crucial.

If you can't afford high-quality masks, look for a local mask bloc or other organization that gives out free masks. Project N95 has unfortunately shut down. In Canada, there's donatemask.ca.

AVOID CROWDED INDOOR SPACES

This is rather self-explanatory. Indoor transmission is much, much, much more likely than outdoor transmission. If it's possible to move an activity outdoors instead, consider doing so.

If possible, try going to places like stores or the post office during less busy hours.

Viral particles can stay in the air for a considerable amount of time even after the person who expelled them has left. Do not take off your mask just because no one is currently present, if you know that it was previously crowded.

A CO2 monitor is a decent proxy for how many viral particles may have accumulated in the air around you. The gold standard is the Aranet4, but it's expensive, so here are some more affordable alternatives.

VENTILATION AND AIR FILTERS

Ventilation is effective for the same reason that outdoors is safer than indoors. If it's warm enough, keep windows open whenever possible. If it's cold, even cracking them open occasionally is better than nothing. Try to open windows or doors on different sides of a room to maximize airflow.

HEPA air filters can significantly reduce viral transmission indoors. Make sure to find one suitable for the room size, and replace the filters regularly. You want to look for devices with HEPA-13 filters.

You can use websites like these to calculate how long it takes for a device to change all the air in a room. Remember what I said about viral particles being able to hang around even after people have left? If an air purifier provides 2 air changes per hour, that means that after 30 minutes, any potential viral particles should be gone.

If you can't afford a commercial air filter, here's a useful DIY filter you can make with relatively simple materials. The filtration capacity is great--but due to being built with duct tape, replacing filters will be a challenge.

If you have to hold meetings or meet with people at work, having a smaller filter on the desk between you will also reduce chances of infection.

As a bonus, HEPA filters will also filter out other things like dust and allergens!

REDUCE LENGTH OF EXPOSURE IF EXPOSURE IS UNAVOIDABLE

Viral load refers to the amount of virus in a person's blood. If you've been exposed to someone with Covid, how much you've been exposed matters.

You might escape infection if the viral load you've been exposed to is very small. Or, even if you get infected, there will be less virus in you overall, leading to milder illness--and crucially, a lower chance of the virus penetrating deep into your body, creating reservoirs in your organs and wreaking long-term havoc.

A low viral load is also less contagious.

This is the same reason that wearing your mask most of the time, but having to take it off for eating, is still much better than not wearing your mask at all.

RECHARGEABLE PORTABLE AIR FILTERS

You might attract some odd looks. But if you're at high risk or just want to be as protected as possible, small portable air filters can help. Try to find models small enough to take with you on public transportation, to school, or while traveling.

These devices will be far too small to clean the air in the whole room. The goal is to have it filter air in your immediate vicinity. Be sure to angle the device so that the air is blowing in your face.

Unfortunately, rechargeable devices are much rarer and harder to find than normal air filters, and many are also expensive.

The best option at the moment, apart from DIY (which is possible, but you need to know what you're doing), seems to be the SmartAir QT3. The size and shape are a bit clunky, but it fits in a backpack. Its battery life isn't long, but it can be supplemented with a power bank.

NASAL SPRAYS

There's some research that suggests that some nasal sprays may be effective in reducing risk of infection by interfering with viruses' ability to bind to your cells.

These sprays are generally affordable, easy to find, and safe. The key ingredient is carrageenan, which is extracted from seaweed. So there are no potential risks or side effects.

Be sure to follow the instructions on the packaging carefully. Here's a video on how to properly use nasal sprays if you've never used them before.

Covixyl is another type of nasal spray that uses a different key ingredient, ethyl lauroyl arginate HCI. It also aims to disrupt viruses' ability to bind to cell walls. Unfortunately, I think it's difficult to obtain outside of the US.

CONCLUSION

None of the methods listed here are foolproof on their own. But by layering them, you can drastically reduce your chances of infection.

The most important layers, by far, are masking and air quality. But you should also stay conscientious when engaging with those layers. Don't let yourself become complacent with rules of thumb, and allow yourself to assess risk and make thought out decisions when situations arise where you might have to take off your mask or enter a high-risk indoor area, such as a hospital.

Remember that the goal is risk reduction. It's impossible to live risk-free, because we live among countless other people. But you can use knowledge and tools to keep yourself as safe as possible.

#covid #this took a while... i feel like i forgot stuff #but i can't think of what atm

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hehearse · 1 month ago

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i see we're sending song suggestions again! i sent a few orv songs a while back, but it was before you'd finished the novel (which i had not realized at the time), so i want to try my hand at it again (plus with some sctir songs since you're into that now). there's gonna be a lot so please don't feel pressured to listen to them all at once (or at all!)

for orv:

everything in the dear hunter's all is as all should be album, but specifically the right wrong for yjh & all is as all should be (the song) for either sp or 51% kdj

reset me & take this lonely heart by nothing but thieves (yjh, arguably also kdj for the latter)

stories by lilli furfaro (The Themes)

icarus & apollo by ripto (yoohankim...)

mephisto by queen bee (this one goes SO hard. yjh)

for sctir:

always gold by radical face (this is The han brothers song to me. i love doomed siblings.)

against the kitchen floor by will wood (this one is primarily focused on the relationship yoohyun & hyunjae have with yoojin, and how that relates to their relationship with their humanity. the first verse/chorus is yoohyun, the second is hyunjae, and the rest of the song is yoojin. This one makes me so ill you have no idea)

honestly i'm still holding back but i don't just want to list out my entire playlists ... i hope you enjoy these ones!

HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF US NO WORRIES!! apparently i blended in well. :D

oh that's gonna be long. breaking it apart for structure purposes and also a read more cause feels appropriate FDSFCVS

-> orv

the right wrong by the dear hunter...

yeah checks out. yjh, always watched by kdj in one way or another. always remembering all his mistakes, letting them cling onto him as he goes through one regression after another. and then going back again and again, attempting to get rid of people who are yet to wrong him. yes yes... /crumbles/

all is as it should be. that's yjh. that's plotter. to me. gah.

is there even a need to elaborate. the cycle of regression, his self moving further and further from the patient zero if you will. the crash of stepping back into the first moments of that loop. watching his own self afterwards, wading through the 3rd turn. dooming himself in the 999th turn. something something biting his own tail and i am weak to it.

Nothing But Thieves - Take This Lonely Heart

this one is also. self explanatory isn't it. the story ended but yjh did not. what else is there to do. his purpose gone, his constellation gone. star-shaped hole in his chest aching, but the world is no longer the one that could fill it. there is comfort in the end of the world, you know what to do at any moment of your life, don't you? prevent it. save the world. but once you're done. what then huh. ehe. <- on the verge of death

Nothing But Thieves - Reset me

i hear you but consider this: yoohankim. first kdj - carrying the end in his pocket (literal) - the edited version of ways of survival, if you will. changing their luck - also literal. you know the drill then yjh - carrying so many ends (pardon the implications). carrying the pocket watch too - why not. carrying his sponsorship that leads him to his end etc etc then hsy of course - carrying wos for years and years, bringing forth the end of the world, the usual ^^ and they all attempt to look after each other, don't they? carrying each other's names and faces to the end of universe and back, bringing each other to life (or back to life). self explanatory i think.

lilli furfaro - stories - that one you are correct. the themes. orv in general. ehe. (<- sobbing)

ripto - icarus & apollo well.

something something. han sooyoung paving the way for yoo joonghyuk. and kim dokja leading him astray (to the epilogue). and him going back still. bangs my head against the wall. yoohankim....

queen bee - mephisto

consider this: yjh talking to kdj. reciting his own words at times. ehe... <- shaking but absolutely. yoo joonghyuk risking his life by making that regression his final one (liar). while kim dokja becomes something else in front of his eyes . ^^ almost leaving his turn for the 1863rd. salvation in form of betrayal. isn't that a love on shape of a lie? very kdj truly. ^^

-> sctir

ALWAYS GOLD ABSOLUTELY i think it cropped up before and you are very correct. that's them, the doomed siblings of all time.

will wood - against the kitchen floor

yeah there is nothing to add. you are correct. yoohyun first, hyunje second, yoojin in the end. and hyh and shj both changed due to love. i had a whole essay somewhere on them attempting to humanize their love for yoojin, but dooming him by doing that. and yet still being loved back. head in hands. and ogh yoojin as quicksand? yeah checks out. with all the s classes drowning in his love mhm. sounds about right. (and of course the overwhelming guilt for existing in others' lives.)

#song asks #I DID ENJOY THESE stole a bunch of them for my personal collection #these are great. the last two especially so #enjoying the last one and its mood #THANK YOU

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fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow · 3 months ago

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Kill me slowly, Baby you know I don’t fucking mind

warnings: vent fic about illness, mildly graphic depictions/imagery of physical and mental illness

tim drake centric

title: life waster by corpse (don’t look at me ok im embarrassed)

word count: 912

beta read and edited by the lovely @vespertilionis

Do not cry. Do not cry.

That’s all Tim can tell himself as he stiffly walks back to his car. He knows how this is going to go, he’s not too sure why he got his hopes up. He feels like an idiot.

Finally, in the safety of his car, he actually looks down at the referrals he has been given. One for a CT scan and the other for an overabundance of blood tests. He didn’t ask for either. All he wanted was a referral to see an ENT, but the doctor hadn’t even looked at him before she started talking over him and suggesting other ideas.

There’s a few things we can do before you see an ENT. It’s been a year since he started feeling like this. All he wanted was to see a specialist, someone who would know what was wrong.

It’s probably not what you think it is. Probably?

You’re crazy, nothing is wrong with you.

Nothing is wrong.

Nothingiswrongnothingiswrongnothingiswrong

He throws the referrals across the car before slamming his fist into the steering wheel and letting out the loudest scream he could.

It peters off into a sob when he realises he can’t hear anything. Well, anything but a high ringing. He sits there hyperventilating in his own version of silence.

He calls the CT place while driving, desperately trying to sound like he hasn’t been crying. He almost breaks down when the receptionist mentions he had the same test done around this time last year.

As he pulls into the driveway of the manor, he takes a moment to calm down. Firstly, because he doesn’t want to talk about it, and secondly, because he feels guilty for being upset. At least the doctor was running tests. Sure, she didn’t really listen to him and suggested tests for allergies and anemia, which he is sure he didn’t have, but she still decided to do tests. Other people have been sick for years and don’t have doctors listen to them, so he should be grateful.

Maybe she doesn’t think he’s crazy.

He tries not to think about the fact that if the CT scan comes back and shows his sinuses blocked, the doctor might put him on his fourth round of antibiotics. Even after the other three rounds have completely tanked his immune system. Or that if the blood tests show he is anemic, she might focus on that instead of the actual problem. Like the horrible constant congestion that makes him feel like his brain is being compressed into a liquid that’s going to explode out of his ears and nose. Or that if he does have the disease he thinks he does, he might lose his hearing. He really doesn’t want to think about that part.

When he enters the manor, he heads straight for the cave. He’s hoping for the perfectly healthy distraction of vigilantism. His hopes are immediately crushed when Bruce turns to him and asks him how the appointment went.

“Oh, uh, it went ok. We’re redoing some of the tests we did last year,” he says awkwardly, wishing for once Bruce would notice he didn’t want to talk about it. Once again, his wishes go unheard as the older man just looks concerned.

“You don’t seem too happy about that.”

No shit, man, no clue how you got the title of world’s greatest detective.

He tries to push away the resurfacing anger by laughing, but it comes out wrong.

“Yeah well, last time the results didn’t really get us anywhere. So, I was kinda hoping she would try something else.” Another laugh. Bruce nods and turns away. Either he finally got the hint or doesn’t know where to go with Tim’s response.

Relieved that the conversation is finally over, he starts heading to the computer when he hears Jason scoff.

“Ya know what I think you need? Some concrete to harden you up.”

Harden you up. Fucking whiny baby.

Harden you up. Ungrateful child.

Harden you up. Nothings wrong with you Tim, you’re out of your mind.

Tim stops in his tracks and turns his head slowly to face the older boy.

“What?” he says coldly, causing Jason to raise his hands in surrender.

“Hey! I was just joking with you.” he laughs, and Tim’s eye twitches.

“No, explain it to me, so I can understand how it was supposed to be funny.” He can feel the anger rising again. Jason lowers his arms, looking guilty for his ‘joke’, but Tim couldn’t care less.

“I just meant that you complain a lot. It’s kinda miserable.” He answers, sounding defeated, but again Tim couldn’t care less.

“Why do you think that is Jason? Do you think I’m complaining because it’s fun?” “No—“ “No! I’m not! I am fucking miserable! I’m exhausted and dizzy and I feel like my brain is rotting in my skull! And I’m sick of people not listening to me and thinking I’m fucking CRAZY!”

His throat hurts from screaming. He’s hyperventilating again, but he can’t hear it over the sound of the ringing again. It hurts. He shakes his head to try and clear it, but it just makes the world spin around him. A hand reaches out to steady him but he pushes it away.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” God, his voice is always so much louder when his ears are blocked.

He stumbles up the stairs, knowing he’s probably stomping, but he can’t hear that either.

#ew i hate tumblr formatting #i’ll link the ao3 post as well but in a bit #sorry tim love you bud #tim drake #jason todd #he’s also here #batfam #chronic mystery illness #i’m fine guys 😀#fanfic #batfamily fanfic #tim drake fanfic #batman #bat family

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incorrect-play-it-by-ear · 9 months ago

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Tumblr simulator in the Play It By Ear cinematic universe part 4

🐻 bears-right-to-school

I don't want anyone to worry but there are some. TRuly concerning sounds coming from the zoo a few blocks over. We're supposed to be visiting it tomorrow, but if the distinct cracking of a gate i just heard is anything to go by that might be postponed lol.

👈TAGlikethefilmlikethegamelikethefilm

I thought you were like an animal rights person? Call the police or something you freak

🐻 bears-right-to-school

What? What gave you that idea? also I am not a freak chill

👈TAGlikethefilmlikethegamelikethefilm

Your username???

🐻 bears-right-to-school

Oh. Ok so what I am about to say is NOT going to help me in the freak/non-freak discussion here

📺 Brendanlovestv

Me reading the notes on this post

963 notes

💻 all-we-need-to-do-is-start

today's mood

🛜 financial-plans-are-for-nerds

Rachel please tell me this isn't another one of your "broad strokes, gets people in the door" ideas. We need an actual product

💻 all-we-need-to-do-is-start

How many internets are there?

🛜 financial-plans-are-for-nerds

...one?

💻 all-we-need-to-do-is-start

You're gonna fucking love this

13 notes

💃 I-do-want

Can't wait to see where my bridesmaids are taking me for my bachelorette's this weekend 😍

💃 I-do-want

This has been the worst weekend of my life

#I didn't know steamboats were still a thing # I didn't know you could book one for a bachelorette's party #and I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THE HELL THEY AGREED TO LET US STEER THE DAMN THING #SEVEN MOJITOS IN #SURELY WHAT HAPPENED CANNOT BE OUR RESPONSIBILITY

5 notes

🍄 funguys-and-gals

OK I need help settling a debate at work. SERIOUS VOTES ONLY

NO secret thirst option/see results button, we die like poorly informed geologists

🪨 rocks-stay-on-during-sex follow

OP how do I put this... a peach emoji for the fungi option might have been a tad. ill-conceived

🍄 funguys-and-gals

GET OFF MY POST

52 notes

✈️ airhost-with-the-most

So I took you guys' suggestion and hired a PI to follow my wife and see if she is cheating on me, to see if that is why it feels like our marriage is falling apart or if there is something else that we could actually work on instead.

I did NOT expect said PI to spend approximately 85% of his time monologuing into the air. HELP can I get my money back???

#He just said something about falcons and absinthe #I am working a flight to Phoenix in like an hour I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS

23 notes

previous editions

#zach reino #Jess McKenna #play it by ear #dropout #I know I post a lot of dumb shit but this might be the dumbest #tumblr simulator

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sokk1a · 1 year ago

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Prompt Voting for Sokkla Saturdays 2023 begins NOW!

Choose your EIGHT favorite prompts within the list and get ready for the official prompt announcement on August 31st!

To clarify the restriction to eight prompts: on this year's edition of Sokkla Saturdays, there will be eight pre-selected broader thematic prompts chosen by the organizing team. This choice is intended to allow further flexibility in the prompt selection process, as opposed to the previous years. Many highly specific and unique prompts in the past have not received any entries based on their concepts since they did not allow enough room for interpretation and creativity. Therefore, on this year we will only choose 8 prompts in the poll, as there are only 8 Saturdays between October and November in 2023, as opposed to the 9 weeks the event has lasted in previous years.

Alright, jump right in and begin voting before August 31st!

Note: Regarding the prompt suggestion process this time around... please read below the cut:

This event has always been a lot freer than many events in other fandoms or communities. Plenty of events don't even hold open prompt selection processes, the leadership holding the event takes care of choosing every prompt instead. We never wanted to do this with Sokkla Saturdays, but unfortunately, this year's situation has called for more restrictive measures on our part than ever before.

We have a grand total of 90 available prompts to vote for in the poll. As it happens, there were 147 prompts on the document where everyone was welcome to share their ideas for this event.

Whether out of malice or ignorance, it appears that one or two individuals took the open call for prompts as an invitation to add 57 prompts that, upon close inspection, were deemed completely inappropriate to feature in this event. The prompts remain on the document, in case anyone still wishes to see them and confirm their nature. Whether it was a matter of trolling, or of antis attempting to sabotage the event, the organizing team discussed the situation and agreed that these 57 prompts did not represent the kind of community and content we want Sokkla Saturdays to provide.

To make matters clear: NSFW content is allowed in this event, as always has been the case. But this event is also open to all audiences. NSFW content is meant to be OPTIONAL. A large number of the prompts that were eliminated demanded for NSFW content that versed along topics that were frankly alarming and disturbing. Some that weren't disturbing due to NSFW components were still alarming due to the ideas that were being proposed in them, ideas that seemed to have been suggested in ill faith by a foul player to create controversy or sow conflict within the community. There's also the possibility that these prompts were suggested in an immature manner as well, rather than out of mere malice: whatever the case may be, they will not be options available to vote for in the poll linked above.

In regards of NSFW prompts: prompts such as 'intimacy', or 'steam', are deemed appropriate due to the flexibility they provide in terms of possibilities for participants of this event to explore. You could very well write a story about NSFW topics, just as you could write a story about emotional intimacy, or about a steam engine. It's nowhere near as forceful as the numerous, highly inappropriate NSFW-themed prompts that we received this year.

It's worth noting that we do have NSFW-themed prompts within the options of the poll: namely, the ones that did not raise red flags pertaining the nature of what was being proposed, or regarding the potential ill intent with which they were suggested.

But considering this unprecedented, apparent sabotage or simple misuse of the prompt suggestion document, our next Sokkla Saturdays may see the prompt screening becoming much tighter and far more thorough than it was this time, and than it has been over the last years.

Prompts for events are not meant to be a way to coax the entire fandom to write your favorite kinks, or a specific kind of fic that is primarily meant for your personal enjoyment. Prompts are about jogging and triggering creativity in participants, they are meant to be ideas, concepts that bring plot bunnies to mind. Fully writing out a potential story's concept or summary is not a prompt either. While some of the suggestions that worked that way were kept in the poll, that won't be the case next time.

We want to make it clear from this point forward that, in the next iteration of Sokkla Saturdays, prompt selection will be much more strict to avoid any manner of misuse in the prompt suggestion stage, whether caused by those targeting the community for the sake of harming it, by those who find amusement in making the organizing team do extra work to weed out troublemakers, or by those who don't truly understand the nature of fandom events due to being too new to this kind of community. The organizing team has suspicions pertaining the identity of the primary responsible party behind the unacceptable prompts: if confirmed, this individual's participation will be excluded from all Sokkla Saturdays, going forward.

If there are any other questions regarding the exclusion of those 57 prompts, feel free to ask them. For now, vote away and look forward to our next iteration of Sokkla Saturdays!

#sokkla #sokklasaturdays #sokkla saturdays 2023 #sokka #azula

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hebuiltfive · 1 year ago

Note

😁

error 404: [character] refuses to admit they’re sick. With Kayo

None of these asks are going to be done in order, I fear, but I promise I am slowly working through them! It's so hot at the moment so I'm just going to use that as an excuse for only having done one of these in the past couple of days and not because of my perfectionism that has me editing every little detail when I read-through them.

Anyway, enough rambling! I hope you enjoy, @janetm74 😇

Error 404 (feat. Kayo)

The illness had slowly been creeping up on her all week, no matter how badly she tried to continue her routines as normal.

Kayo couldn’t possibly be sick. She couldn’t allow herself to be sick. She had things to do, for goodness sake!Only in the rare moments when Kayo was certain she was alone did she allow herself to cough up the bile that had been sitting on her lungs all morning, or allow herself to take five minutes to just sit down and rest her muscles that had been screaming at her to stop all afternoon.

Not that any of that made her sick, though.

She absolutely, positively did have a clean bill of health. She absolutely, positively did not need anyone making a fuss over her, and she absolutely, positively could still go this afternoon to help on this very specific mission which she’d volunteered to do weeks ago.

Absolutely, positively fit and healthy! Maybe she had a little bit of a runny nose, but who cared about that? She’d survived much worse and Kayo was proud to admit that fact out-loud.

Rigby, however, wasn’t as keen on it. “That shouldn’t be a badge of honour, K. You look like death warmed up right now. How did you even get off the island without being intercepted?”

It was a good question, one she didn’t have an actual answer for. Perhaps her ‘brothers’ knew any attempt in trying to stop her would have proven futile, or maybe it was because they didn’t want to get into an argument and possibly make her feel worse — not that she could get worse, of course, be she wasn’t ill.

“Because I’m not sick.” She helpfully replied, knowing full well that he did not believe her in the slightest.

Everything had been (and still was, thank you very much!) going to plan so far. She had met him on the ground nearby the warehouse they were to investigate and they had entered without anyone being alerted as to their presence. Nothing had gone wrong so far, and it wasn’t about to either. Kayo refused to let a little sniffle get in the way.

She shivered, despite her expertly crafted suit and the fact that they were in Oman. Kayo told herself it was the fault of some dodgy air con the building probably had, and not from a fever. Because she was not sick.

“You don’t have to be here, you know?” Rigby’s voice echoed up to her. “I can take care of this myself. Go and wait in your cozy little Thunderbird.”

She hadn’t realised how far she’d trailed behind until she glanced up from her feet. Rigby was no longer only a few paces ahead of her; he was already at the bottom of the stairwell.

“What, and let you get all the glory? No, thanks.”

The idea of moving any faster to catch up to him quicker was most unappealing so Kayo, watching her feet move inch by steady inch, kept moving at her very slow pace.

Her ears picked up on the sound of boots scuffing against the stone steps. They grew closer and closer until she saw the tips of Rigby’s boots in her vision.

Kayo lifted her vision to find him standing right in front of her.

“I thought you rescue guys weren’t about the glory.” He teased, offering out a hand to help Kayo down the last of the (what had seemed to be) never-ending stairs.

“We’re not.” She batted his hand away, her words slightly clipped. “I don’t need a hand.”

“You’re sick, Kayo.”

“No, I’m not!”

Rigby seemed to ignore her last comment, though that offered hand of his was retracted. “You’re going to slow me down, K.”

There was an edge to Rigby’s tone which had Kayo feeling guilty. There was also an edge that suggested he felt guilty himself for weaponising the fact against her.

She decided to ignore both. “I’m fine.”

“Are you actually fine, or are you a Tracy Fine?”

“What is Tracy Fine?”

“When you guys say that you’re fine but you’re actually the opposite?”

Kayo huffed at that, barging past him to clear the last few stairs. “That’s very insulting.”

“Is it an insult if it’s the truth?”

Her next move was a very dumb move. She realised this only after she had tried to jump the rest of the steps and found her legs giving out from under her, leaving her crumpled on the floor.

Somehow she managed to refrain from exclaiming sour words because ow, that hurt.

“Tanusha!”

It was the first time he’d ever called her by that name, the name which only a select few in the world chose to use these days. Between the pain spiking in her ankle and the confusion that had set in by that damned fever, only one other man came to her mind, and it wasn’t her father. This man’s face was a despising image whenever she saw it; the very worst of her family, of humanity as a whole. Whenever he spoke her true name, there was always an element of underlying devilry.

With Rigby though, it was a total antithesis. His was filled with care and, in this very moment, worry.

He raced down the rest of the steps and crouched beside her, offering up more assistance. This time, Kayo didn’t shrug him off.

“Maybe leave the jumping down staircases move for when you’re not ill?”

“For the last time, I am fine!” Kayo was helped into a sitting position, her back up against one of the walls of the small stairwell. “I made it to the bottom, didn’t I?”

A fond, if a little exasperated, chuckle slipped from his lips. “You almost broke your goddamn ankle is what you did.” Rigby gently rested the back of his hand resting against her forehead. The quirk of a smile vanished. “You are not fine. You’re burning up.”

Burning up? Huh, and here she thought she was freezing to death.

“I’m fi—”

“Go back to your ship, Kayo. I can handle it from here.”

“Rigby—”

“That’s an order.”

Kayo cast a glance over, meeting his steel eyes with a sobering realisation; no longer was she dealing with Rigs, her most trusted friend and ally outside of iR, but with Captain Wayne Rigby, one of the GDF’s finest and most efficient officers. In short, Kayo knew her battle was lost.

Before she could give in to the realisation that okay, yes, maybe she was a little sick and that okay, yes, maybe she should sit the rest of this one out, the door beside them swung open on creaking hinges. Two men blocked the doorway and directed a semi-automatic rifle each toward them.

Ah.

“You both took your time. Are the GDF underfunded or something, sending out rookies like you?” One of the men sneered.

Kayo, though still dazed with fever, managed to hold Rigby back from making a very stupid mistake.

The other rifle-holding man gestured for them to stand. “Don’t give him the satisfaction.” He turned to his partner in crime, giving him a look Kayo couldn’t quite distinguish right in that moment. “The boss wants a word with you first.”

#don't ask me how many times i edited this piece #it ended up so much longer than i'd planned #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #ask game #sickness prompts #five answers #kayo kyrano #wayne rigby #five fics

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clowndotgay · 1 year ago

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Hi!! I recently found your blog and your renders are amazing! I showed some of them to my friends and we went mentally ill over it (especially the deep diver and thomas one) I saw that you take requests and I was wondering if you could make a render of robert and thomas, it could be anything! I'd love to see the two bros spending time together. (But don't feel forced to do it if you don't want to, i'm just suggesting a little idea heehee)

Okay that's it byyyee!

i was super flattered by this ask so i kind of overdid it haha! images are big, you might have to zoom/open in new tab, sorry about that. but. that's how it goes. extra render + rambling under cut

okay theres the silly render ^ they have such a fascinating dynamic. weird distant capitalism brothers

DISCLAIMER IS: i realized SIGNIFICANTLY through putting this together that i uh... don't actually know much about the chairmans personality? i am a very new player and don't know a majority of the characters in depth so i'm kind of just trying my best when it comes to half of these personality-wise. so for the last 30% of making all this i was deathly afraid that i was doing severe character assassination on both of them. my bad if i did!!! it wasnt intentional!!!

my read on the chairman from what i know of him is that the only way he'd really "hang out" with a relative is by doing it under fake made up business pretenses. (also, i just found it really funny that chairman actually stands on the COO's head in a comic)

but also um. THANK YOU SO MUCH!! this is my first public social media account in. pretty much ever? and i only really started posting stuff here a couple weeks ago. all the nice interactions and cool people has been unreal! please please send render requests whenever you feel like, i absolutely love doing them and i'm not super imaginative when it comes to the characters that i'm already familiar with. (if left to my own devices i will perpetually make mingler x flunky renders)

honestly the render of mary and thomas might still be my favourite out of all the ones i've done so far. their friendship just makes me grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr its so sweet and nice. they are autism2autism communication. (note: almost everyone in toontown is autistic to me)

LAST thing! mildly odd proposition but message me if you want COO's model or chairman's model as blender files! or anyones model, really, but chairman and coo are the ones i have made the most edits to the head rigs of, so they're actually easy to use! and fun to use! (unheard of concept to blender users (its rough out here))

oh my god this post is way too long. i refuse to slim it down. my bad. thanks for reading (??)

#toontown #ttcc #toontown corporate clash #chief operating officer #thomas saggs #the chairman #chairman #robert cyger #cdg render

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smileymoth · 4 months ago

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I have no idea what marble hornets is but the stuff your sharing looks super interesting and makes me wanna get into it. What is it exactly?

i'm letting @theslyvoid9 answer this because he's the reason i watched it and he's literally right next to me rn. so um. listen to him. he's a connoisseur and has been hounding me about this for months <3 . take it away boy

okay hiiii sly here! so um anyway sdkhufsk gonna keep this kinda spoiler free but in short Marble hornets is a 15 year old youtube horror series and one of the first video projects to use the slendermans character for a more detailed story. The full series ran for around 5 years and lasts roughly around 8-9 hours. The story was kinda hosted on two separate youtube channels, with the main marble hornets youtube channel posting the main entries and a side channel that posts more cryptic videos inbetween the actual entries for lore^tm reason. To watch both of the channels videos in order i suggest this playlist as a easy starting point! Link Storywise. it starts off with our main character Jay getting the tapes for an old project from a friend and looking through them a few years later and noticing stuff.....very wrong in some of the tapes and deciding he needs to investigate further and that leads him down a...rather not good path and drags several characters back into the trenches with him in the process. Overall the editing and sound design is the main scare factor in this series with jumpscares being kinda minimal. So if you like horror with a more building and suspenseful atmosphere then this is a must watch! The characters are lovely, the story is really interesting and the mystery in it is really cool to see unfold. Fair warning tho that the editing does involve a lot of glitching aka flashing at points and the story starts of a bit slow but it picks up in a very natural way! ANYWAY yeah....in short its a youtube horror series about slenderman and glitching videos and mental illness :D I personally really recommend it and if you have more questions idk hit me up on my blog! Anyway back to danny o/

YEAH I AGREE W HIM !!!!!!!! very good summary :thumbsup: (he's not holding a gun to my head to say this) i found the story very captivating, the characters are definitely unique in personality and i was just staring at their face shapes all the time....... it hurts you a lot btw the story i mean it hurts SOOO much . watch it. NJEOW if you like angst and pain and interesting video editing and convincing acting

#asks

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christabelq · 8 months ago

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'SOULSTAR' BOOK REVIEW...

I haven’t done a review for a while, but I felt I should for this book, as I didn't like it and wanted to explore why. The book’s about a necromantic witch called Robin, who is fighting to make the country of Aeland a better place. At first she tries to do this by working with the new king, who appears to be quite progressive, but as time goes on, it becomes clear he’s not the person she thought he was and she needs to take a different route. She takes over as the head of the Free Democracy party when the previous leader Jacob is assassinated and ends up bringing about a revolution. The blurb for the book describes it as A WHIRLWIND OF MAGIC, POLITICS, ROMANCE, AND INTRIGUE, which sounded right up my street, but it totally didn't live up to my expectations and here are some of the reasons…

One of the villains (a terminally ill old man) is tried near the end and sentenced to hang. I find the idea of capital punishment deeply troubling, so this was never going to sit well with me. I think it’s inhumane, and when mistakes happen (which they totally do), there’s nothing you can do about it. The trial also left a bad taste in my mouth. It’s what I believe is commonly referred to as a kangaroo court, when the accused isn’t given a chance to defend himself and the verdict’s pretty much decided before anyone says a word. To make matters worse, Robin traps the man’s soul in a tree for a thousand years after he’s been hanged. This isn’t part of the court’s decision and there’s no consultation. She just does it. For me this little display suggests that power has totally gone to her head and Aeland has simply traded one arrogant despot for another, which I’m sure wasn’t what the author had in mind.

The pacing feels off. Parts of the book seemed rushed (e.g. the revolution and a lot of the magic stuff), while other parts felt bloated and unnecessarily drawn out. The author seemed unable to tell what to focus on to best serve the story, and if there was any editorial guidance, it must have been pretty poor judging by how it turned out.

Complex issues are dealt with in what for me seems like a totally simplistic way. The revolutionaries are holier than thou and the people they’re fighting against are like pantomime villains, when in the real world, almost everyone is somewhere in the middle. You only really hear one viewpoint about stuff and the whole mess gets cleared up in a ridiculously short amount of time.

The character of Zelind. Zelind is non-binary, which on the face of it sounds great, but the sense I got was that khe was a token character. I had no clue about kher appearance or what kher life as non-binary was like (e.g. the specific challenges khe faced). I noticed that the author used the wrong pronouns for kher a few times (usually SHE/HER, but also at least one THEY), which made me wonder if KHE was once a SHE and the non-binary element was added quite late in the writing process to be on trend or something. It certainly doesn’t add to the plot in any way. If it wasn't a late change, then it's another example of sloppy editing. You expect that kind of slip in self-published books, but not when they're from a big company like Tor and not when its something people might be sensitive about. I also wondered how everyone the character meets seems to immediately know which pronouns to use for kher. I don’t have any direct experience of this myself, but I’m guessing it doesn’t always work that way for real non-binary people, so it doesn’t ring true. Another thing that didn’t seem realistic was the way the character rustled up a machine to generate electricity at the drop of a hat, when others have been trying for years and utterly failing. It’s not properly explained how khe is able to do it and it all happens off camera so to speak, so you don’t get to see what it actually involves. This character could have been so much more and for me was a big disappointment.

The plot feels contrived. I knew all along where the book was headed, so getting through it felt like a chore. There were also quite a few times when seemingly hopeless situations were quickly resolved by unlikely events, e.g. Robin happening to know there would be a hidden door which would allow her and Grace to escape from a burning room, or footsteps lying undisturbed on a snowy rooftop for days, so Robin can solve the mystery of Jacob’s assassination (luckily there hasn’t been any snow in the meantime and it hasn't melted either). Magic also felt a bit convenient at times and the rules around it seemed to shift to fit the plot.

So those are my biggest gripes. I won’t tell anyone they shouldn’t read the book, because I’ve seen a lot of glowing reviews and I’m sure a lot of people will 💜 it, but for me it just didn’t work. I haven’t read the other books in the Kingston cycle and I won’t be doing now. This one was more than enough. 2/5

#follow for follow #follow back #like for like #christabelq #christabel simpson #soulstar #soul star #kingston cycle #lgbtq books #queer author #c.l. polk #good idea badly written #revolution is super easy #tor need new editors #book review #book recommendations

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madlad-sadgal · 1 year ago

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Goldenheart AU Pt. 3

I FOUND MY NOTEBOOK!

If you couldn't tell, I have found my notes about this AU and am finally able to make more parts (I could've just made new notes but for some reason my mind stopped everytime I tried to do that, so yeah). This part is gonna be about the band members' (Bal, Nimona and Meredith) backstories.

I highly suggest you check out these first if you wanna understand this, cuz it might not make sense: [Part 1] [Part 2]

(Edit: I'm an idiot and forgot to put the links when I first posted it)

Part 1 is just the base of the AU, and part 2 explains the Director/Livia's (the name I gave her) reasons to not want Goldenheart to be a thing.

Also, feel free to put any idea you might want to add on in the comments or the tags! I tend to look at them and take them in consideration. I don't tag you (some people don't want to be tagged), but if you want to be credited, just message me and I'll tag you if I use your idea!

Anyways, Enjoy!

Ballister Boldheart

Although he didn't live on the streets, Ballister wasn't part of a very fortunate family when it came to money.

Education was something his family struggled to provide to him, and food was thoroughly enjoyed as one never knew if the next meal would be provided or not

His parents worked in a quite successful company but were paid barely enough to survive despite the amount of work they did

Ballister also worked small jobs, such as helping the park keeper clean up garbage, helping the mailman deliver his letters and packages, and so on

When he properly met Ambrosius was when he was cleaning up the park

I say properly because everyone knows Ambrosius Goldenloin, future heir to the Goldenloin company, so when he walked up to a little boy with long dirty hair and worn down clothes, it was pretty safe to say he was wary of him at first

Slowly but surely, after they met up more and more, Ballister started to warm up to him until they became great friends

Ambrosius had tried many times to give money to his family or to buy him something, but Ballister always refused because 1) He wanted to prove he could help on his own, not thanks to some charity money, and 2) He really didn't need the rest of Ambrosius' friends to start rumors about how he was using him for money (It was pretty clear they didn't like him, mainly Todd Sureblade, the Sureblade's being long friends of the Goldenloins)

At some point in time, when they were about 9-10, Ambrosius had to leave cities because of something and the two boys wouldn't be able to talk anymore, so he left with heart wrenching goodbyes

After that, everything was basically shit

With Ambrosius no longer around, some of his old friends who had stayed behind picked on him (hiding the stuff he needed to work, throwing random objects at him when he was in the park, etc.)

His father succumbed to an illness he had been suffering from for a while which sent his mother spiraling into a depression and turning to drinks. She didn't abuse him, but behind her curtain of sadness, she basically forgot about him and it was up to Ballister to provide food and take care of the both of them

It didn't take long for child protection services to take note of this and, at 16, Ballister was placed in a foster home while his mother went to therapy and rehab

It was in the foster home that Ballister met Nimona (backstory later)

Nimona was younger than him by around ten years, a little six year old kid who looked harmless until you realized just how much chaos she could cause

Still, he enjoyed Nimona's company and his foster parents could tell, so they let the two kids be. It was a struggle to stop Nimona from causing chaos everytime they went to the market, but it was worth it if it meant they'd stay up until late into the night arguing about whether freestyle jazz was good or not, if pineapple belonged on pizza or not and what animals would be the best to have if you were running away from the police

Back to that last point, music (except freestyle jazz) was something that the two enjoyed greatly. Nimona enjoyed the drums, always getting a boost out of watching others go crazy on them. Ballister preferred bass (it may or may not be because he remembered Ambrosius had mentioned it being his favourite instrument once and he was desperately holding on to his old friend)

When Nimona turned 7, their parents' rights were terminated and Vivian and William (their foster parents) adopted them, and he was also adopted not long after because his mother's rights had been terminated as well, so now they were an actual little family

Ballister recieved a bass set on his seventeenth birthday, and Nimona received a drum set about three years later on her tenth birthday. By then, Ballister had gotten a lot better with handling and playing the bass and helped Nimona a little with her drums

When they were respectively 22 and 12, money became thin in their household and, having already been through it, Ballaiter didn't want to go through it again, so he decided he was gonna find a way to help his parents, except this time he knew little jobs at the park or helping the mailman wouldn't cut it

They knew they were talented and they could put their talents to good use, and the idea to create a band was somehow thrown into conversations

Only problem is, Bal is pretty good in technology, but he can't work backstage and on the bass at the same time, they'd need at least a third member

Enter Meredith Blitzmeyer

So I'm gonna stop this here because it's already pretty long, I'm exhausted and I'm pretty sure you can tell I got tired towards the end of this, but oh well.

Nimona's backstory's next.

And again, please add on to this with your ideas if you have any, I like hearing what you guys think.

#nimona #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #goldenheart #nimona movie #nimona 2023 #ballister x ambrosius #nimona netflix #nimona spoilers #nimona au #dr meredith blitzmeyer

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imraespace · 2 months ago

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‼️ before reading this i just wanna let you know i yapped so hard during this and i never realized how long this was until i started rereading im so sorry. i hope everything i said makes sense </3 ‼️

ohymogsh thank you for suggesting sae w mala by 6ix9ine bc you just gave me the most brilliant idea ever omg

ALSO OMG U ALSO EDIT/EDITED OMG YAYAYAY i wanna learn how to do like yk those complex transitions w them cubes and all that bc they look so cool but im so scared ill mess them up and its gonna look so bummy 💔

I ANIMATE/TWEEN AS WELL but i use the term animate more bc the term tweening reminds me of gacha life tweening tutorial and my gacha phase was something thats for sure..!

im lowkey considering to like stop editing and start writing stories or create smaus because it takes so long to animate and i cant really do anything else except a simple zoom in/out ☹️

ive been trying to tween this one kaiser fanart and i never realized how bad kaisers hair was until i was erasing each layer of hair for 12 hours AND IM STILL SOMEHOW NOT DONE?? I STARTED THIS ABOUT A MONTH AGO TOO. i have beef w ness now cuz he couldve just gave this guy a bob cut and my life would have been so much easier >:(

i apologize that i never stop talking bc once i start talking about something im interested in i just somehow never stop BUT IM GLAD WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON OTHER THAN OUR LOVE OF BLUELOCK !!

- 🐙

LMAO ITS OKAY once i start yapping i cant stop as well

ALSO YIPPEE IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!

ABT THE COMPLEX TRANSITIONS I REALLY WANNA LEARN THOSE AS WELL i went looking at my old edits and realized i didnt even have a certain style it was all over the place LMAO i mostly edit during my genshin phase and i swear one day it was a cute yoimiya edit then next it was a depressing albedo edit that looks wayy different..

i say you should do what you want to rn like i had fun editing for while until i got bored then randomly i made a book on wattpad and it was fun to do so now im here writing for fun! ive gotten the feeling to edit a few times before but i realized how TIME CONSUMING IT IS LIKE WITH WHAT YOU SAID WITH KAISER IT TOOK ME A WHOLE MONTH TO MAKE A WHOLE EDIT WITH JUST TWEENING.

and DONT GET ME STARTED ON WHEN YOU FINISHED CROPPING THE INDIVIDUAL PARTS AND PLACE IT IN THE EDITING APP you realized you missed something out or theres a noticeable spot you forgot to hide(esp for the hair) it makes me wanna just delete everything

i think ness was feeling a bit goofy when he did kaiser haircut bc his rat tails in the back of his head is kinda funny.. i wouldve just made kaiser bald and do the edit just like that for funsies

ALSO SAMEE i cant stop talking if its something im interested in AND YIPEPE WE GOT TWO(hehehe three if you count our non stop blabbering) IN COMMON

whatever you choose to do with the editing or writing just have fun with it and you can always go back to the other one if you want!

WAIT I FORGOT TO SAY THIS HELP I HAD A GACHA PHASE AS WELL I HAD A YT CHANNEL AND SADLY I DELETED EVERYTHING BC I WANTED TO WATCH MY CRINGE VIDEOS BUT ITS ALL GONE. but ya!

#imraesrandom #imraes inbox !#- 🐙anon #imraespace -♡

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odxrilove · 4 months ago

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can you give some writing tips ??

omg pls guys im really the worst person ever to ask this ...... ill try to give some advice i "usually" follow when writing!

1. if you have any ideas, write them down asap! for me, more often than not, my ideas come to me randomly, while listening to music, watching something or even just speaking or reading about a certain subject. it's like a fleeting thought? so i often have to write down the idea in my notes app (u don't wanna know how many notes i have...) because otherwise.. well i forget them and get pissed at myself

2. just open your laptop and write. this might sound really silly and dumb but it's as simple as that. just write, whether it be a few words or a whole page. the more you write, the more you'll be able to get on paper what you truly want to put down, you know? in the same context, don't directly erase your drafts and be too critical of yourself– there's a reason why it's a draft! go back on what you wrote, edit your drafts, and write!

3. for me, balancing between describing and narrating is really important. (not enough description, too much narrating... not enough narrating, too much description... etc). i did quite like the way i explained the 3rd point in this post so im just gonna link it (the 3rd one about balancing narrating, detailing and dialogue!)

4. also, be open to suggestions! to beta reading! to changes! to help! allowing yourself to understand that some things may be faulty and have to be changed (for whatever reason) will only help you grow more comfortable with your writing. it's okay to not feel satisfied with your work, it happens to everyone, understanding why you're unsatisfied and how you can possibly better yourself is the key!

5. lastly, don't stress too much about it. i get that you want to finish the story quickly and just write but it's not a competition and taking breaks from time to time when it gets stressful is necessary. writing should make you happy!

i hope this helps a bit!!!! (im so sorry if not TT)

#! mail .. 🧸#! love letters .. 🎐

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pokefossilclub · 5 months ago

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Hey! Dreepy man! Thanks so much for the help!

I am nearing my travelling date back home, so I wanted to ask for ideas on what Pokemon I should get for my second brother.

He used to be a photographer and used to travel the world, but now he's an editor for a channel and last time I heard he wasn't... doing so well mentally. In that he doesn't necessarily take care of himself that well. He barely goes outside and he's mainly editing for the company that he's working for. So I wanted to at least give a Pokemon that'll give him at least some boost in morale.

I'm not sure on where to start, but I do know it needs to be one of those pokemon that will only tolerate one person and ONLY one person (in our home we have a ranch of Pokemon but our parents are taking care of em, not my brother), I want a Pokemon that will only depend on my brother, forcing him to get out of his room and enrich the Pokemon. I honestly might get him an egg so it can imprint onto my brother if that's the case?

I also don't necessarily want something... too demanding, something that he'll reject completely from the get-go from how hard it is to take care of so... any thoughts on what Pokemon I should get him?

Oh, I'm sorry to hear about your brother's struggles! Having a Pokemon to look after has been well-proved to help with motivation and 'getting out there', but you're right that not just any will do!

I would be perhaps wary of getting him an egg, I'm afraid, simply because if you are afraid of him deciding caring for a Pokemon is too much effort, well, freshly-hatched Pokemon require more care than an already mature individual, and an egg as an object can be harder to bond with directly than a creature with a face that can easily respond to you, so it runs the risk that he could decide to get rid of it before it hatches and he bonds! A younger Pokemon in general, however, may be a fine idea.

If you think your brother would appreciate something cute, a Vulpix could be a good option- either Kantonian or Alolan, depending on if he prefers warm or cold! They are cuddly, intelligent creatures who bond tightly with trainers, and they require regular exercise and benefit greatly from socialisation- but their care needs are not too complex, they are popular enough both as battling Pokemon and as pets that food and equipment for them is easily accessible, and they are unlikely to be so clingy that receiving care from others when necessary would be difficult. Skitty would be another similar option, without having to do any Fire-type proofing or minimise cuddles in cold weather- the Normal-type is popular as pets for a reason! However they are very high-energy, and if your brother struggles with that he may find it more annoying than endearing! Delcatty, their evolved form, would remove that potential problem, but if not bonded with early or as a Skitty they can be very independent in a way that could be counterproductive.

Should your brother not appreciate cute so much, or prefer something more unusual, I could suggest Shuppet. They are emotivores, meaning they eat emotions, usually negative ones, and it has been reported that this can help people suffering from mental illness get a better grip on emotions that could otherwise be overwhelming. They are also very sweet and social, and do not require very much bodily care, being Ghost-types. However, they may not get him out much, and if too many Shuppet feed on one singular person, that person's emotions can easily be deadened beyond what is helpful. Another non-overtly-cute option might be a Steel-type such as Klefki or Klink. Klefki are surprisingly social and intelligent little creatures, and he might find interest in collecting keys for them to keep. Klink are, despite their appearances, very curious, and love to find new things and places to interact with, trying to fit themselves and various objects into and around each other! Steel-type care is not always intuitive to newcomers, given many of them are not mammals like humans are, but there are plenty of guides out there (I can give recommendations if requested) and, at least for the two I've named, is really not that complicated!

I wish your brother good recovery from his mental health diffculties, and I hope this gives you a notion what might help him out!

#Pokeblogging #Pokemon headcanons #Vulpix #Skitty #Shuppet #Klefki #Klink

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apparitionism · 2 years ago

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Tabled 4

And on we go, @barbarawar , as I continue to try your patience with this incremental approach to telling a @b-and-w-holiday-gift-exchange story about coffees and consequences. Where we last left our duo: Helena had proposed adjourning to a hotel room so as to avoid continuing to attract attention for disorderly behavior (i.e., launching coffees at each other, followed by raised voices) at O’Hare Airport—that transitory place where Myka had intended to have a final coffee with Helena before telling her goodbye and returning to the Warehouse to face a future she doesn’t really want. Part 1, part 2, and part 3 explained the tables, books, beverages, and lies that led to this point.

Tabled 4

The trek to the hotel is arduous. No conversation. Myka appreciates the tacit agreement she and Helena seem to have made to wait for the space, but she’s bowed by what it’s added: multiple steamer trunks of existential weight, all of them balanced on her head, her shoulders, such that it’s labor for her even to turn her head in Helena’s direction.

Nevertheless they navigate, side by side, destination mutual. That’s weight too.

All Myka is physically carrying is her laptop case; she’d told herself, “I can work on reports on the plane. Or prepare remarks.” Instead she’d sat on the plane. It might as well have crashed; she was already braced for impact. Braced, yet again. For all the impacts.

Helena is similarly unencumbered, but without even a work-pretense: only a slim little bag, its strap a delicate suggestion of metallic braid that adorns her shoulder. She offers the sleekest of presentations, with even her stained sweater somehow managing to speak to her apparent surety that whatever the thoughts of those regarding her might be, they’ll redound to her benefit.

Myka, on the other hand, wants to hold her case to her sullied chest, or better yet fold herself entirely over, to hide this... evidence. She hates giving anyone grounds for a negative inference, and the uncomplimentary list of things any given observer might take the smirch as evidence of is infinite.

She herself has felt that “redound to my benefit” certainty only in the rarest of circumstances. Once or twice, though, it’s happened when Helena was the one regarding her, giving Myka a fully confident sense of I know you like everything you see, and even better, you like it just the way I want it to be liked. Transporting, when it happened.

Helena chooses that moment to turn ever so slightly, meeting Myka’s eyes ever so briefly... as if in appreciative echo of the past.

It prompts Myka to think on a different kind of evidence: what she and Helena provide, as they pace beside each other through the airport. It could oh so easily support the idea that they’re traveling together, which in turn leads to the infinitely better idea that they might be traveling together.

Indulge, she tells herself, and the granting of permission... it shifts the weight.

Who are we, this me, this Helena, traveling together... traveling together. She starts simple: We’re Warehouse agents on a retrieval. But of course that’s too easy. Okay, instead, we’re... dealers in rare books? Better... And we’re heading to an auction... wait, no, we’re heading home (home together), home from an auction, one that yielded a rare first edition of... oh, let’s say The Invisible Man... and the auctioneer unfortunately made a slightly incorrect statement about its original serialization... one that Helena felt she had to counter emphatically... leading to the first fistfight ever seen at that auction house...

Myka can easily picture the self-satisfied snarl-smile Helena would have worn as she decked the ill-informed auctioneer. The ease with which she can conjure such a moment... that, paradoxically, is yet more weight.

Even so, she warms further to the story, folding in their coffee stains: On this first leg of our trip home (home together), there was dramatic, beverage-service-disrupting turbulence... but we got through it with only wardrobe-related disasters... which is to say, we protected the first edition...

The fantasy looms real enough for Myka to put her hand against her case, casting an impossible wish for confirmation that it holds a precious book.

When her wish isn’t granted, she’s nonsensically crestfallen. Her indulgence now seems yet another blunder, as foretold by that other... book. (She can’t get all the way to “precious,” not this minute, an aspersion of omission for which she’s pretty sure she’ll be expected to apologize.)

Remember that future, Myka tells herself. She pronounces those words in her head, and she’s half tempted to say them to Helena, too, despite the fact that she’d have no idea what it’s about. Though she might ask what it’s about... and Myka can’t land on whether she would hate or thrill to offering an explanation. I used an artifact, she might begin. Because of you. She might go on: And I lied about it. Also because of you.

That might get her a snarl-smile of her own. Maybe even a fistfight.

In the end she stays silent; it’s the theme of this hotel-destined journey. She should rather have focused on Helena, with no imaginings; should rather have just looked, no matter how great the weight. What would observers have concluded then?

You just told yourself a story about that.

As they near the hotel desk, Helena says, “Allow me,” and Myka... does. Because, for good or ill, Helena is the driver. If she were not, Myka would be at a gate, sitting and waiting for a flight, her mission nearing completion. Instead, she’s standing a good distance away from Helena in a hotel lobby, calling Steve, saying, “I’m pretty sure I’m missing my plane.”

The response in her ear: “Because...?”

“Do you really have to ask?”

“Really? No.”

“Good. But if anybody else asks—”

“And when you say ‘anybody else.’”

Myka sighs. “I mean protect me.”

“By saying what?”

“I’m stuck in an airport.”

“You believe that,” Steve says, with a little wondering hitch.

“Oh how I do.” She laughs, just a half-huff. “Oh how I’d prefer not to.”

She hears, “Is that Myka? Where is she?” It’s Claudia (not Pete, thank god), in the background.

“Stuck in an airport,” Steve says.

“Weather?” Claudia asks, now close to the phone.

“Storms,” Myka tells her.

“That sucks,” Claudia pronounces. “See you when the climate gods dispensate some dispensation.”

After a pause—presumably waiting till Claudia leaves earshot—Steve says, “You’re getting really good at this.”

“This?”

“Letting language slip. To do the dirty work.”

“Good at this,” Myka echoes, belatedly. She knows it now as cause for despair. She’s painfully aware that the work is dirty, but... she’s developing a facility. That’s what’s wrong. “I’ll try to get worse.”

“After the storms?”

“During,” she says, because speaking in private should—at the very least and very last, it should—entail saying what she really means. Not letting anything slip.

Should. Which doesn’t, dirty or otherwise, mean “will.”

“Take care,” Steve says.

“I don’t know how,” Myka concludes. It’s a weird way to end a phone call, but Steve seems to know it’s right.

Helena has decorously waited to approach, but now her seemingly eager “Shall we?”, key card in hand, is a painful parody of the invitation Myka has dreamed of for years. If it had happened in those earlier years, it could have been an invitation to everything. Now it’s just an invitation to... blunders. And their contribution to an end.

The existential weight lowers again onto Myka—countdown-tragic now—as she waits out the rise of the elevator (its mirrored walls too harsh) and the walk through the corridor (its canned lights too artificial). It freights even the too-sunny chirp of the key card’s success, as Helena inserts it into the door.

As Helena pushes the door’s handle down in further proof of that success, she looks over her shoulder at Myka with something like delight—but is it delight at this circumstance, this promise of new privacy? Or is it another instance of her generalized thrill at an encounter with technology? That she might not yet be so familiar with as to be jaded by this aspect of modernity is... something very like heartwarming. But also painful, because how many Helena-delighted-by-the-new episodes has Myka been deprived of witnessing? How many episodes of anything and everything Helena-related has Myka been deprived of witnessing?

And what is the consequence of letting herself know that as deprivation? And, more, feeling that deprivation as pain?

Helena pushes the door open and strides across the threshold, but Myka hesitates, hoping for... something. Purpose? All that comes to her is a maxim: never go in without knowing how you’ll get out.

Where Helena is concerned, Myka has never known how she’ll get out. Ridiculous to think she could start now.

She goes in.

The quiet: that’s what strikes her first. The closing of the door behind her is a muted snick; after it, there is no noise at all.

Then she apprehends scent: antiseptic overlain with some ruse of spice, as if “clean” couldn’t possibly be enough to justify the undoubtedly absurdly high price of the room. Of course it probably couldn’t; nevertheless Helena had paid it. Myka wants to resent that, but she’s the one who acquiesced to that “allow me.”

The scrimmed light from the window allows her eyes to discern only the barest detail, but they’re drawn immediately to... of course. A table. Metallically, shinily, obviously, a table. It’s small and round, seemingly innocuous (too low to sit at), but Myka skirts it. She sets her laptop case on the less-threatening desk.

Helena lays her own bag on the bed. The bed, which Myka had intended to ignore. Then she turns, eyes still eagerly alight, to face deskside-anchored Myka.

The look sends Myka back to ideas of I can’t do this, or maybe what she means is I can’t feel this, but that isn’t right either, for what she feels isn’t singular; instead it’s I can’t feel these, these battering, battling threads of sensation she can’t untangle. “Why are we here,” she says, groping, suddenly dull, feeling the air numb around her.

“For speaking,” Helena says. Over there. By the bed. “Freely. As you agreed we should.”

But where is the freedom? The table reminds Myka of constraint, and even the room’s privacy—this new, behind-a-locked-door privacy—chains her, making her question every movement, lest it speak as she doesn’t intend. Or does intend but shouldn’t intend. Paralysis. “What do you want to say?” she asks.

Whatever Helena wants to say, she wants to accompany it with a head-toss, followed by a contemptuous exhale. Quite a performance, at the conclusion of which she snorts and juts her hands at Myka. “At the very least, more words about the unbelievability of your putative romantic choices.” Contempt coats it all.

“You don’t know what’s in my heart,” Myka says. She means it as a dismissive judgment—of Helena’s continuing to insist that she knows how Myka feels or doesn’t feel about Pete (although of course, Myka has to concede privately, she does know)—but, more broadly, of Helena’s not bothering herself to know how Myka has felt about anything. Not for a very long time.

“I’m aware,” Helena says, and then, as if she’s heard Myka’s more-broad thoughts, she says, “I’m very aware.” Then she stops—another of those curiosity-piquing pauses—leaving Myka to wonder what’s next. What is: “So tell me,” she says. Soft. Sincere.

“Why?” Myka asks. “What will it change?”

“For one thing, you will have said it. Rather than simply felt it.”

“Said it to you, you mean,” she accuses. Right: something might change for Helena.

“Ah. You’ve spoken of this to others. Perhaps your sister? And have you found that unburdening to be helpful?”

That’s soft and sincere too, but internally, Myka snarls, with no smile, You can keep your therapy questions. I have all the Abigail I can handle on that front. She wouldn’t answer such a question no matter who asked it, and she is neither ready nor willing to explain Steve—Steve and what he’s meant. Instead, she says, “This room has a coffeemaker,” despite not knowing that for sure. But it must. “I’m going to find it and... use it.” A neutral action, that’s what she needs.

“I’ll watch you,” Helena says.

So much for neutral.

But turning her back on Helena... surprisingly, it loosens her. The gaze is on her, and she feels it, but she doesn’t have to meet it. She finds the coffeemaker on the bureau and begins the process: water, cups, coffee packets, filter basket. Of course it isn’t neutral, would never have been, but being occupied, putting something in that space between—standing and looking was never going to get them anywhere, given that it never did in the past—it lightens the atmosphere. It’s a purpose. It’s a purpose against which Myka can, and thus determines to, slide a question of her own.

“So you had this realization that there was ‘someone else’,” Myka says, making the quotation marks as clear as she vocally can, “and you broke up with him?”

“Essentially,” Helena says.

To her... credit?... it’s not an objection to the topic shift. Or to the quotation marks. But it’s also profoundly not informative. “What, seriously”—Myka had nearly made the mistake of saying “honestly”—“is that supposed to mean?” She turns around, away from her coffee task; the machine’s begun to noise, anyway, so it doesn’t need her.

Helena’s aspect doesn’t indicate that the renewed eye contact is meaningful. She says, “That is supposed to mean you have identified the essence of what occurred.”

More details are clearly not forthcoming. Back up. Ask something else. “Why did you go to that place at all? Why go there and make yourself so... small?”

The very idea is tragic—even worse, pathetic. Helena’s slight dip of head, signaling at least partial agreement, offers pathos too. “Safety,” she says. “Mrs. Frederic said I’d be safe there.”

“I could have kept you safe. Why didn’t she say that?” Myka hears herself getting louder now, angry at all the conversations, decisions, interactions that were kept from her, that she had a right to be part of, all these clandestine resolutions to problems that she and Helena deserved to solve together.

“She had other plans for you,” is the reason Helena gives. Pathos there too. It’s awful.

“What about my plans for me?” Myka cries, and it must have been audible all over the hotel, this nearest she’s ever come to a barbaric yawp, and it’s about all of it: Mrs. Frederic and Pete and expectations and everyone thinking they know and no one knowing, not even Helena, who might have been the only one who could have really known but went away, was taken away, and now Myka is going to have to push her away and this is exactly why she turned to the book: to steal back the tatters of her own capacity, one small bit of augury at a time.

“You work for the Warehouse,” Helena says.

It’s a bald truth. It’s why little auguries are all Myka has. But it splits her open, too, for it tells nothing at all about why Helena did what she did, and she shouts a new accusation into the yawning gap: “You don’t!” And another: “Since when do you bend the knee to authority?”

Helena straightens her spine. “Since authority rendered me incorporeal and suggested I would be returned to that state if I didn’t do as I was told.” She lowers her chin, giving that spine one more bit of extension. “I was disinclined to stop living.”

It breaks Myka. No, it re-breaks her. She knows she should say things, including “but you redeemed yourself” and “so what’s different now,” but all she can in fact do is reach out a hand and touch Helena.

Maybe that’s what Helena intended, but even if it is...

Between any two people, it might be nothing: a simple right hand resting upon a left shoulder, followed by a run down that left arm, to the left elbow, then wrist, brushing against a left hand’s fingers, falling away.

But it’s Myka’s right hand. It’s Helena’s left shoulder. Helena’s arm. Helena’s elbow, wrist, fingers.

They’re behind a locked door.

TBC

#bering and wells #Warehouse 13 #fanfic #Tabled #B&W holiday gift exchange #part 4 #barbarawar #I have to confess:#I love the word 'fistfight'#but don't worry #Myka and Helena won't resort to physical violence #other than the coffee-weaponization kind #because even if you remove bodies from the equation #they have no trouble doing violence to each other #or maybe it's that they do have trouble #and removing bodies from the equation makes it worse #which is not to say that adding bodies back in necessarily makes it better

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