#will probably delete at some point

[darlingletshurttonight]

a long rant that’s apparently controversial

there was this indian dark academia blog i followed here, and respected that person despite not agreeing on some of their views on certain things. i got into a disagreement with them on tumblr about ncert scrapping off chunks of mughal history from textbooks. they mocked that the board would be teaching us about ‘rig veda and nalanda’. i replied with a comment that there’s more to indic civilisation than the vedas. we should be knowing about a lot of our dynasties and some exceptional rulers before the mughals invaded. it is a fair deal to scrap a bit of sucking up to mughal imperialism and talk about those who made india the candy that it was for invaders, why it was such a hotbed for trade that made it the one of the richest countries to exist in the medieval era. these things are not widely known and they should be known. what kind of history only talks about invaders and not the ones who lived here. why can’t we have both in appropriate measures.

they straight up blocked me lol. they replied to my comment after blocking me, so i couldn’t explain my point to anyone else tagging me and making fun of what i said, which they misinterpreted in the first place. they dug up all my older posts, specifically the hindublr tag and mocked the fact that i think hinduphobia is a real thing.

i’m not mad that these people ridiculed me. i don’t care for their wilful ignorance either. they removed any chance of discourse and want to live in their own bubble of ignorance, fine. there can be people who still disagree with me and that’s okay. i wish people would stop resorting to blind hostility and actually try to read what someone is trying to convey.

it bothers me how they think they’re inclusive at the expense of another community. they (them and their followers) pride themselves on their education and liberalism but don’t seem to know the concept of critical thinking, or conversing with someone they disagree with. how do you villify a person for having an opinion different than yours. an opinion that doesn’t oppress anybody or any community. nothing i said was erasing a community or history.

it concerns me that they’re hell bent on thinking india can be a better place by downplaying the role and significance of hinduism and redact its attempted erasure, when it was literally called hindustan. this isn’t a ‘left vs right’ or ‘religion vs. religion’ or ‘govt vs people’ thing. why is it so hard to believe that religious clashes can go both ways. why is it so hard to go beyond ncert textbooks and agenda-driven historians to actually read about our ancient civilisation. you don’t have to be religious for that.

it was appalling that they they would dig up my older posts on this certain topic to have their followers hate on me. i guess i held them at a higher standard.

my only point was that we shouldn’t always ask “how did mughals rule in this country?”

we should also ask “why was india so sought after by other kingdoms and emperors?”

“who all were involved in making this land so prosperous that it attracted people from all over the world?”

“why should we be proud of our ancestors and not consider this a defeatist nation?”

[notdeadyetmatthews]

Hair dried in a way I really like.

Don't mind the face.

[abybweisse]

Finally taking some time, on this 4th of July, to just sip some coffee, read about sanctioned deaths... and watch my pets (and a FEW of my plants) enjoy the new digs.

Not even getting dressed just yet.

Kuro anime in 2024 helps give me life.

😌

[pyrefection]

if anyone has nice things to say i could use them plz (i am okay just a little sad)

[theoculus124]

Uh so am I the only one who comes up with traumatising experiences in their head to A) script what I will do in those instances B) feel valid for feeling traumatised even thought you haven't gone through anything traumatic you spill spend days crying over fake scenarios you've made in your head that has traumatised you

Cause same

[timaeusterrored]

Woke up so anxious I threw up but then thought about Kerry’s arms so we good

[hey-imma-fangirl]

Alright next part of A Very Devil Christmas is finally almost done, just gotta do some finishing touches ^^

[ariadnes-red-thread]

Getting older just feels like your life becomes a longer and longer to-do list that gets in the way of anything that makes you happy or fulfilled and just sucks the energy out of you until you die.

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

rant abt my family - personal;

tw abuse, tw manipulation, tw emotional abuse

okay I usually don't post stuff like that on here but I just came from Easter brunch at my father's house and I am so pissed off and hurt and upset and I'm pretty anonymous on here, so I'm just gonna release this into the tumblr void and leave it there. might delete it later though.

I am so sick and tired of being disrespected, ridiculed, dismissed, criticised and underappreciated in the very house I grew up in. From start to finish, today, it was horrible. I'm a Christian, I believe in God and in Jesus. My family doesn't. I went to Bible School for a year and learned about so many historical (I mean proven, historical) facts, about Jewish Culture (the culture Jesus Christ was born into) even a bit of Hebrew and Ancient Greek. I graduated with excellence and am very respected in my spiritual community even though I'm barely 20. And yet, my non-Christian work colleagues show more respect to my opinion and my faith than my own father and brother. We were celebrating EASTER. and they dare try to dismantle and attack my believes?

but it was more than that. I told my father I might get a chance at a assistant manager position at my job. I've been excited about that for months. His only reaction was to ask me when I intend to start studying (I already studied at the bible school but I also want to study something else still). Because he wants me to start as soon as possible and he's scared this opportunity might keep me at this job longer, preventing me from moving away for my studies. Again. I have a month left until I turn 20. I have all the time in the world, yet he rushes me to accomplish certain things in his time frame.

I told my family I have the opportunity to release a book consisting of my poetry. I told them I was invited to speak at a night of poetry and spoken word. The only person who was even remotely happy for me was my mother. These are great opportunities but the only way I got my dad to comment on that was to ask for his thoughts personally (and he isn't exactly a man of few words. he has an opinion on everything). one of his thoughts? he isn't necessarily interested in poetry. my brother said absolutely nothing about it. just changed the subject the first chance he got.

there were whole periods where my mother and I had to stay entirely silent because the men were discussing "important political things" and we couldn't get a word in edgewise. and believe me I tried. But when I interrupt them it is disrespectful. Of course it isn't when they do. And when I tell them I feel disrespected they need an explanation and an argument as to why, because naturally, they didn't do anything, did they? they are simply discussing things. I'm just emotional and dramatic, aren't I?

these men were trying to convince me that gun control wouldn't do anything to stop mass shootings. they were trying to argue that looking at our situation over in Europe and comparing it to the US wouldn't do any good. They said Of course there is more shootings in America. It's a bigger country. (THEY ALSO HAVE MORE GUNS PER CAPITA ASSHOLE. THAT'S THE REAL ISSUE)

I know that I am an intelligent, accomplished, educated young woman, who is starting to make a name for herself in the artistic part of her community and that my accomplishments are certainly worthy of note. but everytime I spent time with my family I feel disrespected, stupid and worthless. And I am so sick of it. I am so tired of these Trump-Supporting, Andrew-Tate-Listening, Racist Sexists. If I had the choice to cut them off fully, trust me I would. I'm just so fucking done with these pricks.

[mydarlingdearestdead]

When they rebuilt this building after the fire they built in an entrance to the roof. I don't see it having any logical reason, but it's a place to run too, so I'm glad.

At mid December it's easy to sit here through the sunset. I don't watch it, really, just lay on my back and watch the colour drain from the sky above me. It's therapeutic, in a way. Like a metaphor. Don't ask me what metaphor- that's Karma's thing.

"Mx. Kenning, pray tell, are you trying to catch a cold?"

Jan offers me a hand and helps me up. His cheeks are as pink as his hair, even wrapped in a sunshine yellow scarf as he is.

"I don't really feel the cold." I admit. Jan looks unconvinced. He turns to survey the rooftop, a few sparsely lit lanterns surround us. They cast just enough light for a vauge, fuzzy, sort of visibility. Like silhouettes with a little extra detail.

Jan kicks a stray stone and it skitters off the edge and below. He looks mildly pleased.

"Can you dance?" He asks abruptly, he swivels back to face me.

"No." I say simply, "Why?"

Jan motions sheepishly to the backdrop, "This feels like a setting for a dance. Rooftop, bad lighting, stars etc."

"And no music." I add. Jan waves my concerns off with a smile, then he begins unwinding his scarf. He leaves it to lay loosely around his shoulders, instead of the tight knot at his throat.

Once finished, Jan begins to jerk oddly, in a weird repetitive circular motion. I realise what he's trying after a moment.

"Are-" I cut myself off with another chuckle, "Are you trying to waltz?"

Jan scoffs, "Yeah, well, it wouldn't look so stupid with a partner."

I almost double over in laughter before the impact of his words settles in.

"Wh- wait me?" He looks at me expectantly, "No. I am not going to dance on a rooftop under the stars. that is so clichéd."

"Love, what if I want to be clichéd?" Jan asks, fluttering his eyelashes innocently, "You couldn't do that for me?"

I groan, taking small steps toward him. I allow him to drag me into it, doing my best to grit my teeth and keep the irritated look on my face.

It doesn't work for very long.

After a few steps I'm laughing breathlessly, leaning into Jan and bumping my head against his shoulder. It really is incredible just how little he knows about the dance steps, and how honourably he can mess up what he does know.

We step on eachothers toes, fail hopelessly trying that spin move, we generally forget what dance we began with and almost tumble off the edge a couple times. All in all, it's a disaster and we must look like a couple of maniacs dancing in silence in the darkness, squealing with laughter at random intervals but it was uniquely flawless in its own flawed way.

Jan commented after we'd caught our breath and settled back indoors that he could almost hear the music. I laughed.

[g0rechan]

Ok I’m back

[abybweisse]

I want an AI-voice service that I can select to answer phone calls from suspected scam and spam (telemarketing) callers. So the AI can waste the annoying caller's time. It could even make number selections to "speak with an agent", if it's answering that sort of robocall. Then just keep chatting with the fake agent.

But... what should I call it? RoboReply? CallerGPT? ChatterBox? 🤔

[jessefandomunited]

Personal rant - mental health-

What they don’t tell you about trying new things is that If you are not good with change like me , you will end up having a compleat mental breakdown after probably the best day of your entire life.

Currently I’m sobbing my eyes out while watching H20 pretending it’s 2020 again . My chest has loosened a bit but I literally have no idea what I can do to stop this I’ve been breathing drinking water and anything under the sun that can reduce stress. I feel like such a fucking child I feel so stuck

It dosent help that I got like 3 hours of sleep

[egophiliac]

Hi it's just to let you know that the official romanization of Revaan's name is Raverne ! Also they have romanized Baul's name to Baur !

Twst coming back at us again with the least expected romanization! thank you everybody (oh god my inbox) (no it's great, I literally asked for this and the reactions have been INCREDIBLE, thank you all!)

I do like Raverne though, I think it's got a nice fancy sound to it! (I had kinda suspected it was going to be an R instead of an L, so the fact that it's SO close to Laverne except for that is hilarious to me personally.) and Dragoneye Duke is honestly probably the best translation for his title, I wasn't envying the localizers that one. :') Baur instead of Baul I was NOT expecting, but in retrospect I think his name's supposed to be a reference to the Bauru crocodile, so that actually makes way more sense!

someone else also said Meleanor has become Maleanor, which is the REALLY weird one to me, because I was so surprised it was written as Mel instead of Mal in the first place?! oh god no I can't decide which one I like better. 😭 (I wonder if they might change it to Mal...they have made romanization changes before) (like I remember House of Distraction being corrected to House of Destruction in Playful Land) (I did check and she's still Mel for now, but I dunno, they might Mal her up and some point and save me from having to make a decision about which one to use) (HECK I CAN'T DECIDE)

uhhhh thank you for letting me ramble about anime names, let's just say MONOGRAMMED SWEATERS FOR EVERYONE

[theoculus124]

I literally was just pacing the room listening to music when my mom comes in looks at the songs that has been playing and gives me a judgemental look. And then she tells me about how the media influences me and shit. Like ffs

I know this isn't that bad but even simple homophobic comments get to me cause A) you're wrong B) I'm literally just listening to music and maladaptive daydreaming cause life sucks why

Also the NHS is stopping kids going on puberty blockers.

I hate this, WHY

It's also weird cause I understand my parents have done alot for me at the same time I just feel this resentment for them being homophobic, transphobic, pro life. And it sucks cause it feels like I'm the selfish one

But back to the whole my mom getting mad at me, I just left the room cause I couldn't be asked to deal with it and my mom is now pissed off at me

I'm feeling so shit, I know it's one thing. But it hurts so bad I hate this

[kittykatkatfish]

Sometimes I wish I could restart my own brain.

I like guys that well supposedly like me back but there is always someone else they are waiting on and I’m a placeholder.

Even when I try to set boundaries and make sure people have the same intentions the minute things get serious the ball drops and I feel like a idiot for letting myself trust this new person.

You like me but you can’t let go of the what ifs. You still want to talk to me and flirt, but moving forward is too much because it would be harder to leave.

I know I should value myself more, but he spent 3 months diligently breaking my walls down on for the last two weeks to pull away and rip my heart out. I know it’s because his ex messaged him. The one he can’t get over. They talked and he suddenly was pulled back in even though his friends have told him to move on.

But now I’m hung up on the what if. At the same time it’s not like I’m going to meet anyone else. He was my last try at dating before I pulled the plug. I married and abuser and divorced him. I should be done with bs. I had my rebound right after already. I was ready for love. Guess I’ll be getting that farm in the woods alone.

Dating is so disheartening now. I’m just done. I want to stop feeling.