#will keep getting updated as time goes on
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SR Jamil Viper - New Year's Attire Voice Lines
Due to event restrictions, Groovy related lines are locked until the event has been cleared. I will update once these are unlocked. Login line has been captured. New Year's Attire Jamil does not have a vignette.
Summon: This is the perfect day to welcome in the new year. Now, look around at our wares to your heart's content. If you need it, I can even give you a tour.
Groovification: --LOCKED--
Home: What do you think, stylish, right?
Home Transition 1: Looks like it's time for me to take a break. I got a message from Kalim a short while ago, so I need to check what he sent... I sure hope it isn't anything dire.
Home Transition 2: It's much easier to move around in this outfit than I thought. With how black it is, it absorbs the sun's rays, keeping me warm outside, too.
Home Transition 3: Jack's not going to listen to anything the rival team says, huh? He's a little too stubborn, isn't he? I would have liked that he'd at least listen to any suggestions I had on how he could improve his conduce.
Home Transition - Login: A Happy New Year to you. This time of the year sure can get chilly... especially in the early morning and late evenings. We should keep moving to keep ourselves warm.
Home Transition - Groovy: --LOCKED--
Home Tap 1: A shopping list is great to have to cut back on any unnecessary purchases. However... You won't be needing one today. Here, you should buy as much as your little heart wants.
Home Tap 2: While I was attending the register, Malleus-senpai asked me how it was possible that it didn't break when I used it. Well, there's no known reason for that... wouldn't you say?
Home Tap 3: When we have any issues or complaints, no other staff member is better at handling them than Floyd. You think he goes overboard sometimes? Hmmm, I'm afraid I don't know what you mean.
Home Tap 4: When you pick something up, I'd like it if you'd put it back in its designated place. Small incidents like that can add up, making our work to clear it up more tedious.
Home Tap 5: While working here, I've found I'm always shocked whenever we have a polite customer come in. Especially since during a sale, most often you'd see a ton of over-the-top folks.
Home Tap - Groovy: --LOCKED--
Requested by @farfalla049.
#twisted wonderland#twst#jamil viper#twst jamil#twst translation#twst new years#mention: jack#mention: malleus#mention: floyd#mention: kalim
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My Favourite Yapper [Ft. StayC's Seeun]
Author's Note: here is the bonus new years fic, a short fluff dedicated to Seeun because she is so adorable and so bless, i swear to god her smile is just arg-
Anyways, no beta readers/editors for this one, just my raw and wholesome thoughts about this adorable human being, hope yall enjoy it
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There she goes again.
it's not uncommon to hear Seeun, your best friend, gush about her hobbies, especially with you. from simple achievements in animal crossing to updates on her favourite anime shows all the way to her new figurine in her collection, every story must be shared with you.
In all honesty; you don't know why you like her talking so much with you.
Is it how every time she goes over to you, her face is always cheerful, shining her fox-like smile to you whenever she sits down, ready to start rambling about her new favourite video game for the 10th time this week?
Is it the way she always sits as close as possible near you, sometimes even having her arm around the back of your neck to give you the best view of her new figurine and as a bonus; a closer look at her soft, bread-like and delicate cheeks? its not like you touched them, you just had the chance of feeling them when she had her head on your shoulder while she was sleeping during the harry potter marathon
Maybe it's her gentle and sweet voice, that no matter how much she says your name, it always makes your heartbeat rise ten times over and the butterflies roaming around your belly, it always gets her giggling whenever she sees you jump whenever she mentions your name.
Or maybe how her face always feels closer than it really is, getting you nervous when her eyes are locked onto yours in a staring contest that feels like eternity, smiling you that damn obnoxious smile that gets you falling for her every day, wishing that one day, you will finally gain the courage to lean in, shutting her adorable, eternal yapping with a kiss that will tell everything you've been keeping in your heart just for he-
“Hello? Earth to Oppa, You're here?”
For how long have you been daydreaming about her again?
“You're staring at me again Oppa” Seeun says, she chuckles lightly at your cheeks turning red from embarrassment.
“Sorry, i kind of zoned out for a second”
“I swear, you are always so dense, were you even listening to me?” She asks, looking at you in a pretend-angry face and a playful tone, unable to hide her cuteness before she continues her ramble.
As if nothing has happened.
As if you are not in love with her.
If only you knew, Yoon Seeun…
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>>> TUNES TO LOSE YOUR MIND TO <<<
KEEP IN MIND: This is a living playlist! Songs may be added and removed at times to further curate the vibe I'm going for. I'll try to keep this post updated, but you can just check out the link for an up-to-date track list.
(EDIT: Song discussions are not finished! I have a lot more to say. I'll reblog when I've updated.)
This is set in a sort of nebulous time between Harry's life right before Martinaise and the night before he lost his memory. I wanted this playlist to feel erratic-- full of manic energy one second, then slow and bleak the next, dreamy, unreal, then right back to ridiculous.
(In no particular order. Shuffle for full emotional whiplash effect.)
I Don't Like My Mind - Mitski
I don't like my mind, I don't like being left alone in a room [...] And then I get sick and throw up and there's another memory that gets stuck / Inside the walls of my skull waiting for its turn to talk / And it may be a few years, but you can bet it's there, waiting still
The days before cleaning out the rooms... also, eating an entire cake and throwing it all up again feels very harry-esque... Overindulgence
A whole cake, so please don't take / Take this job from me
End Of The World - Hether
I mean, I could just post the entire set of lyrics as evidence, tbh. Struggling to find meaning and purpose in his life in the wake of heartbreak (5 year old heartbreak, but who's counting anyway)
I wake up in the morning and I wonder / Why everything's the same as it was I can't understand / No I can't understand / How life goes on the way it does
Cane Shuga - Glass Animals
Baby, don't go / I'll stop breathing coke / No more bloody nose / No more John Does Burn through my love / Just like your drugs / I've had quite enough / Or lack thereof
This is about the last moments of Harry and Dora's relationship to me. The chorus (a kind of circular, endless, self-aggrandizing internal monologue likely fueled by stimulants, implied in the song) continuing after the second verse kind of reflects the solution for Lonesome Long Way Home.
"11 Voyager Road. You no longer live there. Those times are gone, and so are those people. Why did you come here? Why are you still here? And where’s the dealer? You have to get back to work. That’s all you have now."
Hot Venom - Miniature Tigers
Hot venom is mixing with my blood / I can feel it on my fingers and taste it on her tongue / It feels so good to fall in love with you
I've heard a lot of people say this song is about heroin addiction, which is thematically appropriate for this playlist, but also. Harry's unhealthy obsession with Dora/Dolores Dei. Adoration (and hatred) so strong it's killing him.
Her venom makes me strong / Stronger than I am on my own / Before too long, I'll wake up to it gone / Wondering how I ever was happy [...] You can't go back now; that's not how this works / And as long as she's gone, I can never be happy
Who Is She ? - I Monster
This is just straight up about Harry's recurring dream to me. Just. Gestures at the lyrics.
Oh, who is she? / A misty memory / A haunting face / Is she a lost embrace? Am I in love with just a theme? / Or is Ayesha just a dream?
I feel like it falls in line really well with the idea that Harry's mind has been affected by the Pale-- a lack of memory, or maybe mixed memories, in a misty haze beyond the boundaries of reality. (and maybe Dolores Dei has started haunting him via Pale? Like some theories I've read.)
Somewhere across the sea of time / A love immortal such as mine Will come to me / Eternally
I Don't Miss You at All - FINNEAS
Dummy - Portugal. The Man
F the World - The Northern Boys
You Stupid Bitch - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV Show)
These shards are a metaphor for my soul Won't stop the self-pity 'cause I'm on a roll
This song perfectly captures the inherent melodrama of a mental downward spiral imo. Catastrophic and all-encompassing. This is what I think it sounds like in there (Harry's head).
You ruined everything / You stupid bitch / You ruined everything / You stupid, stupid bitch / You're just a lying little bitch who ruins things / And wants the world to burn / Bitch / You're a stupid bitch / And lose some weight
Oleander - Mother Mother
Intermission - Scissor Sisters
Skit #2 - Kanye West
Self explanatory. He's got no money. He's got no clothes. He has no car and he has no hoes.
We broke, broke broke phi broke We ain't got it Broke, broke, broke phi broke We ain't got it Don't spend no money, ain't got no clothes Ain't got no cars, ain't got no hoes
Nobody - Mitski
My God, I'm so lonely, so I open the window To hear sounds of people, to hear sounds of people
This one is more about the feeling of the song itself rather than the lyrics specifically; I love the upbeat tempo that continues through the song (trying to remain steady, continue working), how the beat is simple at first then builds into a kaleidoscope of sound by the end of the track (overwhelmed by the world), then ending in a distorted loop (trapped in a cycle). This song has always felt really authentic to my own experience with mental spirals. The themes of loneliness tie it all into a nice bow.
I'm A Broken Heart - the bird and the bee
Not Allowed - TV Girl
Party Time - The Northern Boys
Comfortably Numb - Scissor Sisters
(Do The) Act Like You Never Met Me - TV Girl
Novocaine For The Soul - Eels
Basket Case - Green Day
Do you have the time / to listen to me whine About nothing and everything all at once? I am one of those melodramatic fools / Neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it
I just think this one fits him well during Martinaise... just shaken up and unloading trauma onto unsuspecting strangers like a can of soda (bad analogy lol), depending on the dialogue you choose.
I went to a shrink to analyze my dreams She says it's lack of sex that's bringing me down I went to a whore, she said my life's a bore So quit my whining 'cause it's bringing her down
Sometimes, I give myself the creeps / Sometimes, my mind plays tricks on me It all keeps adding up / I think I'm cracking up Am I just paranoid, or am I stoned?
Also it's just a little pathetic, which just... it fits. Sorry Harry.
Labyrinth - Miracle Musical
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Hii, i read your childhood friend!Azul thing, and i thought it was adorable! If i can, I'd like to request the same thing but for Idia? I love my guy so much, and I think it'd be cute (you don't have to if you don't want to, obviously.)
Tysm!! This was sooooo nice to write
Childhood crush!Idia is tragic no matter how you spin it. As a kid in the Jupiter conglomerate, there’s a very small pool of people your age and of “appropriate status”. It’s not simple to make friends with Idia, but you learn to understand him well enough to love the company.
So you keep doing it. For all the times in your childhood you can’t remember, there’s NO explanation. Your family and staff can’t fill in the blanks either, apparently you were with foreign friends.. But it’s normal, isn’t it? Doesn’t everyone forget things from time to time? “Anyone who comes in contact with STYX goes into the river lethe. No exceptions.”
Attending NRC is one of the most popular teenage dreams, and you’re killing it! You don’t know the housewarden that well (considering you’re his vice), but it’s whatever- he’s a massive shut in, and you’ve done your part emailing him updates.
Childhood crush!Idia that’s fully marinated in the feeling of you in his life, and it makes it so much worse to tear you out of it. He watches as as you make NPC friends that’ll never compare to the “great anime binge” post middle school grad, or the 100% co-op completion achievement on “biggy littly planet” that you can’t recall. He insists to be the one to put you through the process. Just enough for a full data wipe. It’s a reminder to never get close to you again, but he can’t ever stay away.
Childhood crush!Idia loves you. And it’s not weird to say that because he’s known you for years, I promise!! He’d never get bored of getting to know you, but it’s scary to see you change. One moment he’s totally confident on what to say, but his input ≠ output! Atleast not anymore (what teenager is still into doing wall pushups while your friend ignores you?), sometimes he wishes he could preserve you like Ortho, then you’d never have to leave.
But childhood crush!Idia needs to get used to change- because before he knows it everything is flipped on its head. He overblots, even if nobody thought it’d be possible and you take the effort to nurse him back to health! No matter how much he flinches from your touch, you stay with him. It’s almost impossible to believe you remember,, Not the years you spent together, but he doesn’t have to break the “big news” anymore, and he’s so excited to make new memories together. Just like old times <3
#twst yuu#twst x reader#yuu twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twst wonderland#idia shroud#idia twisted wonderland#idia shroud x reader#twisted wonderland idia#idia x reader#idia twst
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Happy new year 2025!! ✨✨
So this is technically the first status update of this year on my end XD so yeah! congrats on making it this far! let's keep going into the next year! hopefully it's a good one full of new opportunities for everyone and that you make happen what you set your mind to!
That said, I've finished all commissions yesterday! though there's 1 that's still pending that the person hasn't given me all the references yet, I'll try to contact them again but we'll see how that goes this year ^^
and well I'm super tired, I worked almost without proper break for the last months of this year and I really need a break XD so I'll be on a offline hiatus for a while, I'll be back on the 20th!
hopefully I have some stuff figured out about commission dates and maybe new plans for the shop as well and I'll also be posting the finished commissions that I can post
though I'll be shortly be online on the 5th to post some commissions by the request of a customer ^-^ but I'll be back to my break after that!
so yeah that's all for now, thank you so much everyone for your support, for the commissions I got and for the shop purchases!
last year not only I was able to grow a bit on my shop, I was able to open commissions the most times on a more or less consistent basis,
and I wouldn't have been able to get that far without you, so thank you a lot! 🥰
Looking forward to what this year has to offer!
but now I go to take a break! see ya!
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Him and I Timeline
Pairing: Mob Boss Nico Hischier x reader
A/n: Here’s the official timeline of Mob Nico and readers relationship! I did my best to keep it simple and I linked some of the bigger blurbs I’ve written as you go through it. I’ve also included plans for future chapters with no big spoilers, and I will be updating with links to future blurbs and details!
2021
September
-Reader meets Nico at the Rock on a night out. She’s cheering up a friend that recently got out of a toxic relationship, deciding to visit the Rock for the first time because rumor has it “the boys are the hottest in the town.”
-Her and Nico enter a friends with benefit type of relationship for the next few months.
2022
January
-The Devils New Year’s party is actually a surprise birthday party for Nico’s 23rd birthday. At the party he discovers that reader was the one who planned it and she was also the only one to bring him a gift. Nico makes their casual arrangement exclusive, both agreeing to not see other people. They however do not have the official boyfriend/girlfriend talk.
-Reader goes home with Nico that night and addresses the rumors she’s been told about the Devils.
May
-Nico wants to keep moving forward with their relationship but is scared she won’t want to once she knows the details about his lifestyle. Instead of asking her to be his girlfriend, he tells her about how he started the Devils, what they do, how they’re seen by others. He also tells her how dangerous it is.
June
-Reader graduates from college. A few days before the ceremony she tells her parents about Nico, wanting to invite him to her celebration dinner. They forbid it, tell her they know all about him and what he does. If she’s going to continue being with him they’ll have to cut her off.
-Nico tells her he wants to take her out for a fancy dinner to celebrate. She admits that she wanted him to meet her family but her parents have given her an ultimatum. He asks her what she wants, trying his best to seem unaffected but it’s clear he’s upset to hear that her family already disapproves of him. She says she still wants him there, despite what they think.
-Knowing it’ll be even more damaging for him to show up to dinner with her family, Nico and a few of the boys surprise her at her ceremony. Him being there makes the decision clear for reader. At dinner that night, she tells her parents she chooses Nico. That’s the last night she speaks to them.
-Nico, scared and blaming himself for taking her family away from her, breaks up with her four days after the ceremony.
August
-Reader is waiting out her lease with her college friends for the summer. She’s spent the past few months talking to Timo when she can, but she mostly distracts herself with partying and working odd jobs. Nico’s decision to end things between them left her lost, questioning her own judgment and she’s second guessing her career plans, her future, and herself.
-Nico has spent the months since their breakup trying to make himself better. He wants to feel worthy of reader giving up her family. He also needs time to figure out how to make the Devils safe for reader.
-On a weekend out with the boys, he’s driving Timo home when his friend gets a call from reader. She’s drunk and upset, begging Timo to please come get her from a house party in Jersey City. Nico immediately goes to get her. They get to the house and reader freaks when she sees Nico. She’s angry and doesn’t want to see him. Nico begs her to hear him out, but she’s too drunk and heartbroken to pay attention. Timo calms her down, asks what happened. Her friends had said awful things about the way Nico treated her and teased her for being naive enough to try and be with him. She doesn’t want to go back to her place with them, so Nico takes her to Timo’s.
-Nico shows up at Timo’s the next day with a matcha for her and pleads for her to just take a walk with him. Unable to ever tell him no, she does. On this walk, Nico explains himself, explains how he needed to fix himself before he let things get too serious with her. He wasn’t ready before but he is now. For the first time, Nico tells her he loves her and that he wants to take care of her, if she’ll let him.
-Reader says she’s loved him since New Years, she’s just been waiting for him to accept the fact that he’s been in love with her the whole time too. They officially get together as boyfriend and girlfriend.
September
-Nico helps reader move into her own place. She’s working with a big catering company, assisting with finances and scheduling, but she’s struggling with finding a career she actually wants. It goes unspoken but they both know she’s still insecure from Nico sudden breakup with her. She’s also still mourning the loss of her family and now her friends.
October
-In attempts to cheer her up, Nico takes her to a concert in Manhattan. That night reader is taken by Philly.
-She officially moves in with Nico a week after Philly. That same week, Luke officially joins the Devils and moves into the loft with Jack and Dawson.
-Nico steps back from work to be with reader.
November
-Nico gifts reader her pendant, officially putting her under the protection of him and the Devs.
-He buys a mansion in Jersey, hires a team to gut the house. Together him and reader design their dream home. It’s a good project and distraction for her, but he can tell everyday that she’s fighting hard to try and be ok.
December
-Reader is at her lowest, refusing to eat and get out of bed. All she does is sleep and cry. She admits to Nico that she needs help, she thinks she sick.
-Nico is trying to take care of her. He goes with her to her appointments with a therapist, does his best to hold her up when it seems like talking is making it worst, and doing his best to keep the smile on her face when it looks like it’s working.
-They celebrate Christmas together just the two of them, reader still not wanting to see any of the boys.
2023
January
-Reader is falling back into a slump. Nico takes her to Pittsburgh where they spend new years and his birthday with Johnny and Sid. She looks happy when they’re there, but it’s not enough.
-Mid-January Jesper gets a call from a friend back home, begging him to take in a teenage boy that’s been kicked out by his family and in desperate need of some help. Nico accepts, and Jesper flies out to go get Alex Holtz.
-Her and Nico agree, and she distracts herself with getting ready for the teenage boy coming to Jersey. They plan to move him into the loft with the younger boys.
-She’s the one to greet him first at the airport and when her and Nico take him to see the loft, he wants to stay close to reader. She and Nico decide he’ll live in the apartment with them.
February
-Alex has really brought reader out of her slump. She’s genuinely happy with him and together they talk about their families and she tells him about Philly.
-Nico, happy that she’s doing better and wanting to keep her moving upwards, asks reader if she’d like to learn the basic training the devs go through when they join. She accepts and has daily lessons with Nico.
March
-They move into the house, where reader is gifted Moose. Alex is surprised with his own room at the house instead of going to the loft.
-Reader is struggling through her lessons with Nico but is trying to fight through them.
May
-At a plateau in her training with Nico, reader goes to Timo and tells him that she thinks she wants to stop. She doesn’t know if she’s meant to be a devil.
-She admits that it’s hard to train with Nico. His presence keeps her from focusing and she ends up breaking down in hard sessions. Nico is also struggling in pushing her, immediately stopping whenever she looks upset or scared. She’s afraid all he can see is her when she was sick, that he might think she’s weak.
-Timo offers to take over. She goes to Nico and requests he take over, saying it’ll be easier to focus and learn from the person who’s been her friend since day one. And Timo won’t have a hard time pushing her. Nico agrees, assigns Timo the job of guarding and training her. He returns to work with the Devs.
-Their first order of business is bringing Johnny to New Jersey.
-Johnny comes to the devils on June 1st.
-Two days later Nico gifts reader her ring, making her an official member of the devs rankings.
2024
November
Main storyline
2025 (Chapters coming soon)
April
-Reader and Nico, done basking in their engagement, get to planning a summer wedding.
-Reader and Nico have altercations with her family and secrets get out when a relative from Italy comes to town.
2026 (Chapters coming soon)
August
-Reader and Nico get married on the 13th, the day they first declared their love to each other.
-They have an unexpected reunion with an old friend on their honeymoon
2027 (Chapters coming soon)
February
-Nico and reader decide they want to try for a family. Together, they begin plans and preparations for how a child will fit into the Devils lifestyle in a healthy and safe way.
May
-Reader and Nico are officially expecting their first child.
December
-Nico’s family comes to visit for the holidays.
-The first Hischier baby is born
2030 (Chapters coming soon)
June
-Nico and reader welcome twins to their little family.
2032 (Chapters coming soon)
January
-Reader and Nico are surprised with the last piece of their little family.
#mob boss nico hischier#nico hischier#him and i#him and I timeline#him and i chats#new jersey devils#nj devils
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Harrow, my love…it’s been a while hasn’t it? Life has been crazy these last few months, and I completely missed your update. However, I am here now and ready to dig in!!
First of all I completely forgot that Jimin woke up in Yoongi’s pov (had to backtrack a little lol)…which threw me for a whole ass loop when I started reading this ‘cause what do you mean JIMIN?! The way my heart stopped and I wiggled in my seat. My baby has come the fuck home!!
How dare you throw Haegeum!Yoongi in my face like this…that man has me in a chokehold that I don’t wanna be let out of. The image of Taehyung wearing a balaclavas does something to my core…those eyes just peeking out…yeah, sir whatever you want, you can have it.
Okay the build up of Yoongi coming up to see MC is crazy, my vibrating in my seat! I want them to link up again already!!! Joon too, that man needs a good hug.
The main character has arrived!!! Yoooooonnnngggiiiiii…what an entrance my guy! Stroll in with a pair of bloody chopsticks and a simple, “Darling”...what a charmer.
You would be amused by the visual of Yoongi leaping onto him like a kitten if the situation were not so infuriating.
This right here? Yummy and funny. I like your visual even though I’ve seen it with my own eyes from the mv.
Coming up to the end of the first half, I know Yoongi is feeling all types of kicked sideways. Bringing Jimin is a huge gamble and kind of manipulative all things considered. If anyone could bring MC back it would be Jimin but I don’t think he would push for her to join them again. I feel that Jimin more than anyone can understand where MC is coming from and her mixed emotions about everything that has taken place so far. It seems that Yoongi knew his gamble might not work and has something else up his sleeve. He isn’t the type to just leave so willingly.
MC comparing Yoongi and Ryujin hurts. I can see what she means but damn does it hurt to admit it. After all is said and done, Yoongi is a shady ass dude with a shaky track record in love. The way he goes about things aren’t always clear and are often very infuriating. So, I can see why MC is reluctant to go back. The song lyric “How deep is your love?” comes to mind when I think of the trio together. Namjoon and Yoongi would kill for MC and if push comes to shove, I think she could do the same but she would feel bad about it whereas Namgi just keep it pushing like it didn’t happen. I have so many thoughts and feelings about this but I shall read more to see what’s going on.
Harrow, you play dirty! ATEEZ as bodyguards?! How am I going to survive this fic, huh?! You’ve pulled so many of my favorite idols into this universe that I don’t know who to drool over…it is unfair! But I will say, ATEEZ do fit the vibe, so good choice!
“Not so fast,” she says, causing you to chuckle despite yourself. “You always roll away. Snore in my face for once.”
Affronted, you attempt to wiggle out of her hold, surprised by how strong she is as she holds you in place. “I do not snore.”
Hwasa rolls her eyes, says, “Everyone snores a little,” and wiggles closer as her hold on you loosens—so close your noses nearly touch.
I love that you can include such innocent and cute scenes in between the death, sorrow and destruction.
Jimin is alive and well, the way I was tearing up as they hugged. But started giggling right after seeing how Ryujin and Hwasa left MC to be stuck in between Yoongi and Namjoon. What good friends they are lol
The one on one talk went a lot better than I thought it would. MC needed to let those tears out with Yoongi and I’m more at ease that he is willing to wait for her mental health to get better. Healing takes time and having him/the guys not push for her to come home too soon means a lot. Goodbyes and hellos are hard, but the way you pulled apart each interaction was wonderful, the tension between Jungkook and MC is still there which I love. I tend to forget that they have their own thing going on at times because I get so wrapped up in Namgi/MC.
There is a subtle shift in the family dynamics or I could just be reading too much into it but with Seokjin’s bullshit out in the open, it seems to me that everyone is a little more relaxed. Not as on edge with being alive.
Oh shit…things are bout to take a turn for the worst right? Now that I’m thinking about it, does Hwasa know what Christian looks like? Does Ryujin? And if so…would she give MC easily or put up a fight? Ryujin is asking waaaayyyy too many questions about MC's relationship with the family men and Hwasa is giving up too much information...I'm not sure how I feel about it.
I am starting to not trust Ryujin again. Her dinner speech had me on edge, like it was a backhanded request almost…kind of on the lines of “we’ll be cool once i’m back in my rightful place”. I could be wrong but idk, that’s the feeling I got. I’m not trusting Ryujin at all right now! What do you mean, it doesn’t matter? I swear if she was/is messing around with Christian, I’ll scream!
I mean it is possible she could have a relationship with Hwasa but I doubt that. I think it would be with someone that holds more power. Ryujin is starting to show her ass and I’m not a fan. If you were married/dating whatever with Yoongi in the past, keep that shit to yourself! Telling MC that nothing has changed or that you were the same as her…that’s just evil. Planting seeds of doubt when there really doesn’t need to be any….but if I want to play devil’s advocate, if Yoongi does truly feel something for MC he should treat her differently than how he treated Ryujin. On the other hand, he has an image to uphold, so certain styles are expected as the woman of the house.
I hope Yoongi puts a fucking bullet in Ryujin’s skull, right between her eyes! This slimy two-faced bitch! Harmless my ass! I want to reach through the screen and punch Ryujin myself! Damnit, I am so pissed off. You know MC’s history or at least a little with Christian. She knows MC wants nothing to do with him and once Yoongi finds out all bets are off. There is no respect or trust to be gained. Whatever good could have come with working together will be shot to shit cause it will be an all out war over MC.
I’m trying to think of what chapter it was but there was a part where either Yoongi or MC was trying to figure out how Christian got so much power. I know that Seokjin was a part of it but could Ryujin be too? Is there more to Seokjin that still hasn’t been uncovered yet? Once again this man is on my shit list. He knows more than he is willing to tell and Ryujin is on some kind of other shit that will backfire for sure.
Once again, I am left at the end of the chapter with so many theories and questions. I love that every character is so freaking two-faced. I never know what to expect. I'm excited to see what you whip up next and I'm prepared to scream about it. At some point I'll scream in your dms when I get the chance.
I love you and your mind!!!
Collateral 🗡️ 23: This life of death and destruction
Your ex-boyfriend gets in over his head working for the local mafia, and Boss Min has come to collect his payment: You.
But was it simply a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or has he always had his sights on you?
🗡️ Yoongi x Female Reader x Namjoon
🗡️ word count: 13.6k
🗡️ mafia au, strangers to lovers, graphic violence, major character injury, poly, smut, angst, fluff, nsfw, explicit 21+
🗡️warnings: violence (a man gets stabbed in the eye, weaponized chopsticks, blood); recreational drug use & getting drunk; vomit.
🗡️note: are we ready to continue this story??? the cast of characters has doubled in size, and i think the angst & drama has multiplied, as well. i wrote this opening scene on april 20, 2023 moments after watching the Haegeum mv. it feels good to have finally built the rest of the chapter around it over a year later. this chapter is like 80% dialogue, lol sorry. we are setting up for what is to come in the rest of the fic. enjoyyy!!!
🗡️ also note: in this chapter, mc is borrowing clothing. if you are comfortable with imagining the clothing belongs to the thin kpop idols, please do. if you are not, then please don't. i am not making assumptions or allusions to body size but instead trying to paint a picture of being at the mercy of others.
🗡️ if you have not read the Yoongi POV chapter, i strongly recommend you do so before reading this.
🗡️ beta read by @neoneunnajimin
🗡️ posted sept. 2024 | read on ao3
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“He looks hesitant,” Ryujin drawls in a bored tone. She turns to face you and her lips upturn at the edges, eyes sparkling. “Like he’s scared of what he may find when he gets here.”
The air is stiflingly hot, creating a sticky film over your skin, and your body feels heavier than it should. In this humidity, you are dizzy and agitated. More than anything, you are not ready to come face to face with the man who has caused you so much confusion and mental duress.
“Good,” you say, fighting the urge to roll your eyes. Your fingers dig into your hip bones, and you do your best not to shuffle anxiously. You do not fully believe in your conviction, but you want your performance to be believable enough that the girls don't think you're weak. “He should be.”
“Looks like he brought all the family men,” she adds, turned back to watch their approach.
Your heart flutters suddenly, wondering whether she means Jimin is there too, unable to hide the tremble in your voice as you ask, “A-all of them?”
This time, when Ryujin faces you, her expression appears contemplative, almost sad.
“All of them,” she confirms, causing nausea and excitement to stir.
All you can say in response is, “Oh.”
Before you can stop yourself, your feet are carrying you forward, toward the window. You do not fully approach, not wanting to be seen, so you stop as soon as you spot them walking in the street toward the noodle shop downstairs that doubles as your hideout.
Seven figures approach in a V formation. Six of them wear ratty dark t-shirts and khaki pants, and they hold what look like juvenile weaponry—baseball bats and chains. Over their heads are balaclavas, reminding you of Christian's men. Is it meant to taunt him, you wonder. Do they think they will find him and his men here?
Yoongi is in the center, leading the charge, with no face covering and wearing a baby blue satin bomber jacket with thick white lines down the sleeves. On the breasts of the jacket are embroidered dragon heads, reminding you of Namjoon.
Namjoon. The thought of seeing him again, like this, makes your insides stir. You feel the urge to vomit, but you hold your ground and watch as the men approach, wearing a frown on your lips.
When the heads disappear from sight, you turn and listen for the silence that lingers in the air, save for the thrum of your pulse. A calm before a terrible storm.
Ryujin lets out a long, loud trill of a whistle—a signal, no doubt—and you listen as the
hideout breaks out into chaos. Men scramble through the short hallway that leads out into the open space that Yoongi and his men will soon enter.
"No guns!" Ryujin commands as she stomps through the space toward the hallway, clad in a white tank top tucked into a short black tennis skirt and tall leather equestrian boots. "You are on the defense only. Do not harm a single hair on any of these men's bodies. Do so and you die!"
As you stand near the window, you listen to the street commotion below. Vehicles drive along the narrow roads, vendors shout while ringing bells and chimes, and in the distance, a dog barks.
You know that you will not hear the men's approaching footfalls, but you listen for them, anyway. Yoongi and the family men only need to walk through the small dining hall of the open-air restaurant below, then up a flight of stairs. You hear nothing that might give their positions away.
"Wanna hide?" Hwasa—the nickname of your darling friend Hyejin—asks. She rests her chin on your shoulder and loosely wraps her arms around you, engulfing you in a perfume of roses and lilies.
You shake your head and mutter, "No," watching the doorway for any movement.
Finally, heavy footfalls echo through the space, giving you goosebumps, and when you hear the sounds of shouting followed by someone running into the room, you hold your breath.
"Fuck, fuck!" a man yells as he rounds the corner and cowers, shaking like a leaf in the wind. He seems to be patting himself down for a weapon, then he sighs and squeezes his eyes closed as he presses his back to the wall.
"Ya!" Hwasa yells, making the man gasp. "What is it?"
"B-big Duri," the man stammers, eyes wide. He shakes his head quickly as if attempting to clear away his thoughts.
Duri is a hulk of a man who stands watch at the top of the stairs. He is as muscular as he is tall, with a bit of softness around his belly, and his towering status has earned him the title Big Duri from the other men. One snarl from him makes men cower away in fear.
"What about him?" Hwasa asks.
"He was s-stabbed," the man says, staring at the floor. "In the f-f-fucking eye."
Hwasa drops her arms from around you and stands up straight. You open your mouth to speak but find no sound can pass your lips.
Footfalls approach, heavy and fast. You are not sure who you expect storming in from the hallway, but for some reason, it is not Yoongi.
He walks in assuredly like he owns the place, dark hair framing his face in waves. Clenched in his right fist are two bright red chopsticks that look like the ones served at the restaurant downstairs, and you could swear the thinner ends of them are dripping with blood.
"Darling, let's go," Yoongi says, wide eyes fixed on you. He looks like a madman with his hair somewhat disheveled and a sheen of sweat on his throat.
You are surprised to see Yoongi dressed as he is. Under the pastel jacket is a white tee tucked into loose-fitting blue jeans. When was the last time you saw him in blue jeans? Your first trip to Hong Kong?
You heavy-blink, breaking from the thought process, and attempt to hold steady and keep cool. But you do not feel cool. Your pulse quickens, and you worry you might faint.
"I'm staying here," you say, voice trembling.
You half expect Yoongi to storm over and grab you by the arm. Part of you even feels saddened when he stays where he is.
"Darling," Yoongi says, lifting his free hand to wave you over. "I'm not asking you twice."
"How many men did you kill out there?" you ask, eyes on the chopsticks that drip blood beside his dusty white sneaker. Yoongi's arm drops to his side and he heaves a weighty sigh, shoulders falling.
Behind Yoongi, Ryujin saunters in. She grins and stands beside Yoongi, resting her head against his shoulder as she reaches for the bloodied chopsticks in his fist, saying, "You owe me a bodyguard."
Yoongi—whose eyes never leave you—throws the chopsticks to the floor, off to the side. They clatter against the uneven wood, and you wince at the thought of blood splattering.
He mutters, "Fine."
With that admission, you surmise that Yoongi has, indeed, stabbed Big Duri in the eye. How he managed to do so when he is so much smaller than the man is beyond you. You would be amused by the visual of Yoongi leaping onto him like a kitten if the situation were not so infuriating.
Slowly, Ryujin lifts her head from Yoongi's shoulder. She turns her gaze to you as she says, "She doesn't want this life, Yoongi. She told you so, herself."
"Darling," Yoongi says, seemingly ignoring Ryujin, making her roll her eyes. "I will make some changes. We will figure it out. Just come home."
You shake your head. "I told you I wanted to leave."
"You are in danger," Yoongi insists, and you scoff. For the first time since you have arrived to this dingy place, there has been no hint of violence until he turned up.
As Yoongi sighs, his nostrils flair. You can clearly see that he has something on his mind, but he remains still and silent.
Anger rises, and you clench your fists at your sides. This is not the reunion you expected, but you cannot say you are shocked. "I told you I no longer want this life, and the first thing you do is stab a man—a good man!"
"Darling, I—"
"Go home," you interrupt.
Yoongi watches you, expression cold save for a flicker of sadness in his eyes. Every nerve in your body wants to propel you forward and into his arms, but you do not want to return to the home of a maniac who attacks men with chopsticks, beautiful as that maniac may be.
"I have told you time and again that I cannot handle this life of death and destruction! And here you are, bringing it straight to my feet. Go home, Yoongi."
Yoongi tongues the inside of his cheek, raising his eyebrows. In the doorway, you see Namjoon appear, balaclava raised to his forehead. His dark grey tee is smeared with sweat and blood, and before he can open his mouth to speak, you turn around. There is absolutely no way you will be able to keep your strength if you are forced to face any more of them.
"She wants you to leave," Hwasa says. You are grateful for her as you hear the heels of her boots against the rickety hardwood. "Now!"
"I want to speak to her," Namjoon says, and you are surprised to hear Yoongi say, "She does not wish to speak. Come on."
As their deep, low voices mutter, tears fill your eyes. You breathe in deeply, hoping to ward them off, but as you exhale, the air comes out shattered, and you know that you are only moments away from crying.
"Tomorrow night, we can sit down and discuss matters," Ryujin says.
You keep your eyes on the late afternoon sky, hanging on her every word.
"Amicably," she continues. "No weapons. No hot tempers. And you have a man en route to Busan to take Duri's place when we arrive. Deal?"
"All of us?" Namjoon asks, and you fight the edges of your lips, which curl into a sad smile.
Ryujin sighs. "Yes, all seven of you sordid little devils. Now get the fuck out of my hideout. You gave our darling a scare and I will not have her fainting because of it. I will send you a time and place, and you will show up dressed as respectable men. Seriously, what the fuck are you guys wearing? You look like trash."
Ryujin's voice fades as she continues to berate them, footsteps retreating, and it occurs to you once more that somewhere out in the chaos is Jimin. You turn, and the movement causes Yoongi's head to lift and eyes to open wide and expectantly, standing halfway in the hallway. You were not expecting him to still be here. To your disappointment, Namjoon has already left the room.
"Is Jimin here?" you ask.
Relief floods Yoongi's face, and he cracks a smile, nodding as he says, "Yes. Come see him."
You shake your head, blinking back the tears that threaten to fall.
"Glad he's awake," you say. "Perhaps I will see you all tomorrow."
Yoongi's expression turns sad, and you watch as he mouths the word perhaps before you turn your attention back to the window. The sound of his shoes retreating makes you want to throw up, and you swallow it down as a single tear streaks your left cheek.
* * *
Ryujin lies on a large fur rug that she has pulled near the window. Atop the rug is a mess of blankets and pillows, and her limbs tangle with those of Hwasa and the other three girls.
You sit arrow straight on the wide window sill, staring at the street below. The sky slowly darkens, illuminating the buildings with an orange glow that is exaggerated by the neon lights on each restaurant and storefront.
"Yes, Yoongi," Ryujin says into her phone, playful irritation in her tone. "I swear to you there is nobody by that name in our ranks. Seokjin-oppa has already warned me about his possible presence."
You listen, hoping to hear traces of Yoongi's voice coming through the phone, but you know that it is hopeless; his dulcet tones do not exactly travel far even while in the same room as him. Muffled and at a distance, the notion is hopeless.
"You know," Ryujin continues, "you would have less to worry about if you hadn't stabbed my most trusty security guard in the fucking eye with a chopstick."
Her words make you wince, and you turn away from the window, staring at the empty wall opposite where Ryujin and the girls rest. The floral wallpaper is peeled in places and tinted brown from water damage, but otherwise, the space is clean and empty, save for six suitcases and the items Ryujin has brought in and strewn about for comfort.
Outside of this room is a hallway that connects to more rooms, though you have not bothered to look into any of them, save for the bathroom, which is the first room to the right as you exit this one. Whatever this hideout was originally built for, you do not know, and you do not care, although you imagine at least one of the rooms could serve as office space for the restaurant below.
A shrill laugh barks through the air, making you jump. You gaze over your shoulder to find Ryujin's head tilted back, eyes closed as she full-body laughs.
"Don't be a fucking idiot," she says, opening her eyes to meet your gaze. "No scrub in clown paint is going to buy our little darling from me. Now get some sleep; we'll talk about this tomorrow evening, as promised."
Something about Ryujin calling you our little darling sends a chill along your spine, and you turn back to staring at nothing. She ends the call abruptly, and you hear as her phone clatters against the wooden floor, undoubtedly tossed aside.
"Darling," Ryujin calls, voice soft and pretty, causing your shoulders to rise to your ears as if protecting you—from what, you are unsure.
You swallow hard. "Hmm?"
Ryujin giggles. "Come. You're so tense. Relax with us."
She is correct that you are tense. You have been tense for days. When you got into her car at the airport, she said you would be here for two or three days, but it is going on a week, and you are tired of sleeping on rugs in a pile of bodies. You want to return to a bed. Any bed.
As you turn to face Ryujin and the others, you are struck by a sense of homesickness and longing that makes your stomach churn. Hwasa and three slender beauties called Solar, Wheein, and Moonbyul crowd Ryujin, who sits up on her elbows, gaze fixed on you.
Hwasa's head is against Ryujin's left shoulder, near her breast, and she watches you, as well, gaze soft but pleading. Moonbyul, with her long, straight hair lightened to a pale gold blonde, has her head on Hwasa's tummy, curled in on her. The other two are resting similarly, with Solar clinging to Ryujin and Wheein clinging to Solar, long dark hair draped over limbs which are draped over more limbs clad in white cotton and black spandex.
You watch them in their near-stillness, questioning where you would fit. Clearly, the five of them are tight. They call her mother, and she proudly dotes on them as if they are her precious children.
Ordinarily, you wait for everyone to begin dozing off, then you curl up on one of the outside edges, back turned from whichever woman is beside you. But you know that Ryujin wants you to be physically close to her—you can tell by the way she watches you.
What would physical closeness to a woman like her entail, you wonder.
"So shy," Ryujin pouts. "So moody."
Hwasa, as if mirroring her energy, juts out her bottom lip.
Ryujin tilts her head, studying you. "What does the lady require to help take the edge off?"
Although she is not explicitly saying so, you know that she is offering pills. Every day that you do not give in and crawl to Ryujin and her pile of women, she assumes it is due to some defect in your ability to relax. In a way, you suppose, she is correct.
"Going home would take the edge off," you respond, voice flat and lacking all mirth.
Ryujin sighs, and her pretty, impish smile falls into a dramatic frown. "I, too, would like to go home. And I promise that we will, soon. Yoongi is convinced there is some third party attempting to track you down, and he has been insistent on weeding the man out. He seems to think that you are safest while remaining in hiding. I, however, think we are sitting ducks."
You hum and nod.
She sits up ever so slightly, causing the clinging women to shift along with her movement. "What do you think?"
What do you think? Such a simple, innocent question, yet it stirs an anger in you that is so deep, festering in the dark pits of you that are fed by lack of proper comfort and sleep.
There is a part of you that wants to snap at Ryujin and ask whether she really cares what you think. You want to storm up to her, take her by the straps of her white tank top, and shake some sense into her while demanding she returns you to Korea at once.
Another part of you worries that Yoongi is being too paranoid to think clearly and that he is making an already strange situation worse. You find it hard to believe Christian has weaseled his way into Taiwan and is lying in wait to pounce, if that is what the phone call just now suggests.
But, then again, you never would have imagined Christian would show up with a briefcase of money, nor did you expect to see him turning up to the mansion in the middle of the night. Still, the notion feels ridiculous. You're not in Korea anymore.
You shrug, purse your lips as if you are thinking it over, and say, "I don't really know."
Truth be told, you are exhausted, catapulting emotionally from one extreme to another, finding it impossible to truly relax. You are not sure whether Ryujin has done anything to deserve your vitriol; she has kept you safe and fed, even if you are slowly succumbing to exhaustion-induced hysteria.
Her history with Yoongi notwithstanding, she appears reasonable and kind. It is hard to hate her for her past when it has opened up Yoongi's arms to you—for better or worse. It is not as if you regret the time you have spent with him.
And, if you are being honest, you wonder whether the transgression between them was as simple as the men put it, or if there is more to her side of the story. Surely, she did not wake up one day and decide to betray the man she loved.
Or, perhaps, she is charming you the way Yoongi did. What better way to tame a wild beast than to uproot it from the comfort and safety it has grown accustomed to and force it into close proximity, giving it no other choice than to be grateful and eventually feel some semblance of love toward its captor. Maybe she and Yoongi have more in common than you realize.
The thought makes you snicker, and you stand, taking notice of how Ryujin lifts her chin and watches you. Hwasa stirs and sits up, causing Moonbyul to roll off of her with a groan and clench onto the pillow below her.
"Going to the bathroom," you say.
Hwasa stands as Ryujin sing-songs, "Buddy system," causing you to smile and roll your eyes.
You are not allowed to do anything outside of this room—including taking a shit—without the accompaniment of one of the girls. Lucky for you, Hwasa is always willing and eager to be close.
Hwasa tiptoes over and snakes an arm around your elbow, momentarily resting her head on your shoulder as the two of you walk. You have come to enjoy her company quite a bit, and you are relieved to have her here.
While it was shocking to lay eyes on Hwasa after your plane landed in Taiwan, she was very clear and open about her circumstances, and you found it easy to trust her. According to her, Seokjin and Jimin gave her the position at Paradise knowing she was one of Ryujin's women, reminding you of Hyunjin and how he and his family were safe, after all.
Yoongi may not have been working directly with Ryujin this entire time, but it seems that his men have been. And, judging by how comfortable he seemed with letting Ryujin touch him and boss him around earlier, you do not suspect that he harbors the same ill thoughts that he seemed to when you first encountered her all those months ago.
You wonder what has changed. Has it been your presence in his life, or something more? After all the destruction Ryujin's team has caused Yoongi's family over the last several months, ending with Jimin in a coma, some sort of truce had to have been made. You have heard whispers of conversations, but you are curious about the specifics. It seems the woman who was at the helm of the destruction, Hyungseo, is not here.
In due time, you think. You have no doubt Ryujin will open up to you.
As you and Hwasa leave the room and venture quietly into the hall, two armed men look up from the game of Chinese checkers that they play on the floor, and smile. They are beautiful, and you smile back, yanking your gaze away from them before you are able to make any more of an impression on either of them.
Admittedly, you are lonely. Physically, emotionally, sexually…and there is something in the gleams of their eyes that stirs you deeply, but you know that it is not them who do it for you.
It is their eyes. They share the same piercing, knowing gaze of hunger and brutality that glimmers in the eyes of the family men. Your family men.
"I think Yunho likes you," Hwasa teases, voice loud enough for him to undoubtedly hear, though you do not turn back to look.
Instead, you press your palm against the cold metal door leading into the small bathroom and sheepishly ask, "Which one is he, again?"
A snicker comes from the floor, undoubtedly from Yunho's companion Seonghwa, and you turn as you enter the dimly lit room, grinning widely at your friend. The bathroom door swings shut, and the scents of toilet cleaner and bleach sting your nose.
There are three toilet stalls in this room with mint green painted metal doors. The walls are a similar shade of green, and the yellow and white tiles on the floor are chipped in places.
You make your way to the sinks straight ahead and turn on the water, which is always cold, and run your hands under the stream. On the counter, in the corner, is a large black makeup case containing travel-sized toiletries for yourself and the rest of the women, and you open its lid and rummage around for your toothbrush and toothpaste.
"How are you holding up?" Hwasa asks as you unscrew the cap from the toothpaste and squeeze a small dollop of its contents onto your bristles, careful not to take too much.
You shrug, and rather than respond, raise the brush to your mouth. The mint is cloyingly sweet as it hits your taste buds, and you close your eyes, worried that its minty sting may tangle with your emotions and cause tears to well.
"Will you be joining Ryujin to meet with them for dinner tomorrow?"
Without opening your eyes, you begin to shake your head, not sure whether you can handle sitting at the same table with all of them. But then Jimin's bright, gleaming smile crosses your mind, and you shrug and nod. You may as well.
Hwasa chuckles, and her hands rest softly on your shoulders before giving a gentle squeeze. All at once, you relax, dropping your shoulders and tipping your head forward, instinctively giving her permission to do anything she would like.
As you finish brushing your teeth and tongue, she squeezes your muscles and rolls her thumbs in circles. You hold the small plastic brush between your teeth, feeling a dribble of frothy, minty spit roll down your lip to your chin, and you rest your palms against the counter until Hwasa lifts her hands away.
"I suppose I should brush my teeth, too," she says with a pout in her tone, and you open your eyes to see her squirting some paste onto a matching toothbrush that she has written AH on in large letters for Ahn Hyejin.
You spit, rinse, and spit some more, then use the inside of your sweaty black tank top to dab the moisture from the edges of your mouth. When Hwasa is finished, the two of you link arms once more and make your way out of the bathroom, ignoring Yunho and Seonghwa as you walk by.
The rest of the girls, led by Ryujin, walk by in a fit of soft giggles, and you make your way to the pile of blankets and pillows, feeling physically exhausted despite being uncertain of whether you may actually be able to sleep.
Hwasa follows and lies down beside you, beaming as she scoots nice and close and wraps an arm around your waist before you have a chance to roll away and face the wall.
"Not so fast," she says, causing you to chuckle despite yourself. "You always roll away. Snore in my face for once."
Affronted, you attempt to wiggle out of her hold, surprised by how strong she is as she holds you in place. "I do not snore."
Hwasa rolls her eyes, says, "Everyone snores a little," and wiggles closer as her hold on you loosens—so close your noses nearly touch.
You feel too warm, and the scent of Hwasa's perfume mingling with her body heat stirs something inside you, filling you with the urge to flee. You are lonely, and she is beautiful and soft, and suddenly it feels as if all the air has been sucked from the room.
At a loss, you close your eyes. Whether you roll your body away or continue to face her, she will not create more distance because she cannot. As soon as the other girls return, they will pile into the bed, and you will feel the weight of ankles and wrists drape over you.
"Good night, pretty dove," Hwasa sing-songs.
You crack a smile, unable to hold back despite how dangerous it feels to allow yourself to be anything but stoic and collected for the time being. The nickname reminds you of Paradise and of Jimin, and you are unable to hold back.
"Good night, Hyejin," you mutter in response, forgetting her nickname for the familiar one as her warmth and comfort lulls you fast into a sleep you did not expect to come.
You actually feel…good.
* * *
The rattle and clanking of dishes and silverware have all of your nerves on high alert, causing your pulse to spike and your palms to sweat. You are acutely aware of the fact that at any moment, several men you miss and adore are going to come walking into the private dining room to join you, Ryujin, and Hwasa, and you are going to have to face them.
Each time a member of the serving staff enters, your eyes dart up in panic, and each time they bow apologetically, confusion painted across their features. Under the table, from your right, Hwasa grips onto your hand and mutters kind words that are lost over the pounding of your heart.
When your trio arrived first, you were grateful. You assumed that by the time you waited on the arrival of the men, your nerves would have calmed and you would have composed yourself.
But you were wrong. Oh, how you were wrong.
With each passing second, your heart riots behind your ribs, quick and dizzying. You feel the urge to excuse yourself to the bathroom, but you are terrified of what it may do to Yoongi if he arrives to find that you are not sitting at this table.
Food and drink are brought in. Large dishes covered in steaming meat, vegetables, rice, and noodles. Carafe after carafe is set down, and as you sit forward to peer into one of them, Hwasa says, "That is kaoliang. Fermented liquor from China." Your mouth begins to water, but you are not sure you are ready just yet to start drinking.
Shadows linger outside the door to the private room, tall and wide blobs obscured by the privacy glass. Ryujin glances at her watch, mutters, "Fucking finally," and stands, causing Hwasa to stand as well.
You remain glued to your seat. Even if you wanted to stand, you are not sure you would be able to.
As the door slides open, your heart pounds. Seokjin enters with a smirk and a bow of his head, followed by Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, Jeongguk, Namjoon, and finally, Yoongi.
Jimin beams, eyes and mouth wide and happy, and he rounds the table in a rush, pushing past Ryujin, who attempts to pull him into a hug. Your eyes fill with tears, and as you finally get onto your feet, legs wobbling beneath you, the tears spill, streaking your cheeks.
You stumble and crash into the papered wall from the force of Jimin's hug, elbow scraping and stinging, but you do not care. Jimin smells and feels so familiar, and you sob in his arms, burying your face into his black lapel and letting out a deep, shattered breath.
"Oh my god," you manage to mutter against his shoulder, and he tries to loosen the hug to hear you speak, but you shake your head like a petulant child and pull him closer, refusing to let go. "I was so scared, Jimin. I thought I might never— I've missed you so much."
Voices greet one another, and chairs scrape across the floor, signaling that the others have begun to find their seats. This time, when Jimin begins to release the hug, you allow him, dropping your hands from his shoulders but holding them loosely around his hips.
Jimin's eyes are glassy with tears, and hair is slightly longer, almost grown out into a mullet. For the first time since you have met him, it is brown, and you mutter, "Nice hair," while doing your best to smile widely despite still crying.
He grimaces at you, lifting his hands to thumb away the moisture under your eyes. Then he leans in, kisses the tip of your nose, and says, "All better, dove."
"Thank you," you whisper, sound lodged in your throat, then you release Jimin for good and pivot to take your seat, taking a deep breath before allowing your eyes to fall on the rest of the men.
To your surprise and dismay, you find Ryujin sitting across from you with her eyebrows raised and a sharp, devious smile playing on her lips. To her left is Hwasa, and to her right is Jeongguk. You do not need to look to see that Yoongi and Namjoon have taken the seats on either side of you because of course, they have. Where else would they be?
But you do look. You sweep the sprawling rectangular table, starting with Namjoon at your left, then Hoseok, with Seokjin at the far end, where you anticipated Yoongi might sit. Past Seokjin is Taehyung, then Jeongguk, then Ryujin, who is leaning to the side and whispering something to Hwasa, whose hand reaches to where Jimin sits on the other far end.
Jimin inspects Hwasa's rings and nails, dainty fingers tracing delicate lines. When she turns back to look at him, there are tears in her eyes, and you realize belatedly that she has missed him, as well. Of course, she has.
You do not look at Yoongi, gaze ending with Jimin. Yoongi clears his throat, causing Ryujin to stand, and—feeling uncomfortable with also standing while she speaks—you quickly have a seat.
Ryujin bows her head, hair pulled in a tight bun at the back of her head. She, matching Hwasa, wears a black suit with a white silk blouse, blending in with the black suits and black satin undershirts the men wear. You are the odd one out in a sleek black evening gown; Ryujin was insistent. At least it, too, is satin.
"Gentlemen," Ryujin says, and all at once, the men stand, bow their heads, and sit, including Yoongi, who scoots in close beside you. "Thank you for joining us tonight. I trust you have found us a replacement bodyguard?"
Yoongi hums a gruff, low note, and you are acutely aware of his presence by your side. His scent—earthy and musky, ever so slightly tinged with citrus—sneaks past the savory blend of food smells and floods your senses. You swallow a lump of trepidation that has crept its way to your throat.
"First of all, I would like to thank you for trusting me with taking care of our little darling," Ryujin says, turning to look at Seokjin. She remains standing. "As you are all aware, things between Yoongi and I have not always been easy. But, moving forward, I would like for all of us to remain amicable."
At this, Ryujin's eyes land on Yoongi. She appears fierce and ruthless in the way she looks down at him, lips upturned as if to show that she is enjoying this position of power.
You glance from the corner of your eye to find that Yoongi peers back up at her, sitting tall on the edge of his seat. His expression is blank, as is to be expected. There is a long pause during which you wish someone would speak or move to eat or drink—anything to cut through the tension.
Finally, Yoongi folds his arms over his chest and sits back, shifting his weight in a more relaxed position. He clears his throat, and you turn your gaze to the piles of meats, vegetables, noodles, and rice.
It sounds as if Yoongi attempts more than once to speak but struggles to find the words. At this, Namjoon sits forward, pulling your attention to the left, and he asks, "May I?"
Ryujin's face lights up. "Of course, Joonie-oppa. The floor is yours."
"Firstly, thank you for your hospitality. The hideout was certainly difficult to locate—"
Ryujin snickers. At this, Jeongguk stands, facing her, "Look, noona, if you would have answered your phone, we never would have shown up there with—"
"Sit down," Ryujin snaps, turning a playful but intense glare on Jeongguk, whose mouth snaps shut as he takes his seat. Beside him, Taehyung snickers. "I didn't answer my phone because I wanted to converse with her before making any choices, and you idiots acted irrationally."
At the word her, Ryujin lifts her hand and gestures to you, momentarily pulling your gaze. Although you do not glance around, you are certain that all heads turn to look your way, causing you to shift uncomfortably in your seat while you begin watching droplets of condensation streak your water glass.
"Pardon us for being concerned," Yoongi responds, voice tense and pained.
This seems to quell whatever emotion that has Ryujin acting defensive, and she slowly takes her seat and reaches for the bottle of kaoliang. All seem to be waiting for her response, and she takes her time lifting her glass to her lips and sitting back in her chair.
"Nobody faults you for being concerned, oppa. But you need to be more considerate of the reason she has come to me in the first place."
Yoongi must open his mouth to speak once more because Ryujin lifts her hand to stop him before she continues.
"Yes, I know that you are concerned for her safety, especially in the wake of some mysterious man from her past showing up out of nowhere. But she was already planning on leaving for mental health reasons. So maybe storming in with chopsticks blazing is not the wisest way to reunite with someone who is already shell-shocked from all the other bullshit she has had to witness."
"Some of the bullshit was at the hands of your people," Namjoon interjects.
Ryujin levels her gaze on him. "The most heinous bullshit, I would imagine. And as you can see, Hyungseo is not present. I am dealing with her, and Seokjin, Yoongi, and I have already discussed ways I can help with harm reduction."
Your gaze moves to the right, to Jimin, and you are surprised to find he is already looking at you. You smile, unable to stop the tears that form from how relieved you are that he is alright.
"I know that trust has been tarnished between our families, and that myself and my girls have taken things too far," Ryujin admits. "I sent my people out to scare you, and they did so much more than that. I will never stop feeling sorry for what has happened. Not a night has gone by that I have not been filled with regret over someone so precious to all of us becoming seriously injured."
Ryujin lifts an arm, reaches over Hwasa, and holds out her hand to Jimin. He takes it without hesitation.
"He could have died," Jeongguk says, brows knit in a frown.
Ryujin sighs. "I know this, Ggukie. And I am so, so sorry. I am determined to quash any bad blood and begin earning your respect. Tomorrow we leave for Busan. Once we are all back home, Serendipity will be opened for a night of drinking, drugs…whatever you heathens do."
To your surprise, many of the men snicker, amused.
"Seokjin and Hoseok already have a security team on standby so that you are not only relying on my people to keep you safe," Ryujin continues. "The era of family feuding is over. I am happy with my little piece of the peninsula, and I want drug operations to continue in a way that is lucrative for both of us. We will remain your first line of defense in the harbor, and in return, all that I ask is that we get free reign in Seoul to come and go."
Yoongi clears his throat. "If Sunmi-noona will accept the offer, she can be your liaison in the city once more."
At this, a mischievous smirk tugs on Ryujin's lips. She gives Jimin's hand a squeeze before releasing it, then raises both elbows to the table to cradle her chin in her hands. "Tell me, oppa. Why does Sunmi-unnie spit at my feet whenever I mention your name?"
Yoongi says nothing.
Rather than press him, she winks, then reaches for a large metal spoon and begins to fill her dish. Everyone hesitates, and it is Jeongguk who breaks the tension and follows suit, scooping food onto Taehyung's plate and causing the others to act in kind. You sit still, unsure whether you have an appetite.
"Darling?" Yoongi asks at the same time two fingers gently caress the back of your arm.
Your evening gown is a form-hugging halter top with a low back, leaving your skin open to soft, delicate assaults like the ones Yoongi likes to conduct in gentle motions. You flinch but try not to pull your arm away, worried about hurting his feelings.
Yoongi chuckles softly. "Are you not hungry?"
You shake your head but mutter, "I don't know."
"Should I have sat elsewhere?" he asks. He shifts as if he is looking over and around you, and you imagine he is speaking nonverbally to Namjoon.
The room is too bright, the food and cologne smells are too numerous, and the sounds of voices and silverware and porcelain are too loud. You raise your shoulders to your ears, then turn toward Yoongi, still unable to meet his eye as you ask, "Can we talk somewhere else?"
Yoongi stands, says, "Excuse us for just a moment," and waits for you.
As you stand, you catch Ryujin's eye. She appears concerned and places her palms on the table as if ready to stand and defend you.
You nod and say, "We'll be right back," and watch as she relaxes.
A warm palm presses against your lower back, and Yoongi guides you toward the door, out into a small hallway, and to the left. The restaurant's main dining hall is to the right, and you are thankful to walk in the opposite direction, not sure whether you can handle another person's eyes on you.
Yoongi walks into an empty private dining room, switches on the light, and holds out his arm for you to enter. As you step inside, you hear him conversing softly with who you assume to be an employee, and then he joins you, closing the door behind him.
As you stand and face the large, empty dining room, you expect Yoongi to touch you or prod you into speaking. Perhaps you expect him to beg you to return home. Instead, he seems to be waiting.
After only a handful of seconds, you decide you cannot take it anymore. Every ounce of you yearns for Yoongi, and knowing he is so close and being so patient has you reeling. You turn and quickly step toward him, reaching for his lapels and burying your face against his chest. He smells like home, and as he wraps his arms around you, warmth fills your chest, and you begin to cry.
"I'm sorry," you say. "I'm sorry I had to leave. I miss you, Yoongi, but I can't stand being there. I can't do it."
"Shh," Yoongi whispers, lips pressing to your temple, causing you to cry harder. It has only been a week, and yet you feel as if you have been away from him for so long.
"I'm sorry we keep creating distance. I don't know how to make it work out. I'm so scared, Yoongi." You are fumbling, mouth on autopilot, dredging up each time you and Yoongi were apart, feeling somehow responsible for everything despite knowing you have always only done your best.
"Yesterday was a mistake," Yoongi says, peppering kisses from the crown of your hair to your cheek and back up. "I was terrified and not in my right mind. You left in a frenzy, and then there was that letter, and it all been very confusing—"
You sniffle loudly, letting out a sound that halfway sounds like a laugh. "Oh my god, the letter. I'm so sorry."
Yoongi chuckles, gently grabs your shoulders, and pries you away from his chest. You allow him to move you, and you stand straight but keep your eyes on his black satin shirt. You do not want to see his scar or the pretty way in which his eyes downturn when he is sad.
His voice is soft and conspiratorial as he says, "I almost killed Seokjin after I found it."
With wide, surprised eyes, you look up, unable to hold back any longer. Yoongi's smile is loving and big, and his eyes sparkle with happiness, making your stomach roil with uncertainty. His scar is still so red against his soft skin, but it adds so much to his allure and beauty.
"I was under the impression you were running away with Barom, what with the timing of it all. You packed a bag, left behind all of our gifts, and disappeared into the night the moment he arrived."
Despite Yoongi's high spirits, you shake your head somewhat desperately. "I wrote it earlier that day, thinking I might run away a night or two later. I was scared that if I said goodbye, I wouldn't be able to leave." Tears build once more, and your body goes limp, hanging against the weight of Yoongi's hands. "Yoongi, I'm so—"
"Alright, no more sorries," Yoongi says, pressing against your shoulders enough to signal that he would like you to stand up and get your shit together. "Seokjin explained your conversations and motives to us already, and I have long since forgiven the both of you. I understand why you felt you had to sneak away. Remember when I went missing in Hong Kong? I was also in the midst of a mental health crisis, darling. I have no hard feelings."
You straighten out and search Yoongi's eyes for any hint of dishonesty, but all you find is a soft, loving gaze looking back at you. With a relieved sigh, you step forward and wrap your arms around him, pressing the side of your cheek against his chest and listening to the steady beat of his heart.
"I love you," you say, feeling the words fill you with warmth.
Yoongi drapes one arm over your shoulders and rests his other hand against the back of your head. "I love you, too," he says. "And if you need time and space, I will give it to you. Despite everything, I trust the girls to take good care of you."
"Is it weird?" you ask, pulling out of the hug and stepping back only far enough to see Yoongi's face. His only response is to raise one eyebrow. "Being around her again, I mean. Was she always so bossy?"
Yoongi chuckles and shakes his head. "I suppose it is a little weird, but we were friends first and foremost, and being friendly with her again feels easy. She has not always been that bossy, per se, but she has always been strong-willed enough to face all seven of us down the way she did tonight."
This makes you laugh, and you lean into Yoongi once more, tilting your head to press your lips to his throat, just under his chin.
"Thank you," you say. Yoongi hums, and you add, "For giving me time and space. For being understanding. That night was a fucking mess, and I have been really scared for what the aftermath may look like."
"No hard feelings," Yoongi repeats. "As long as you are happy."
All at once, you are flooded with myriad thoughts. Are you happy? This last week, while being more or less calm on your nerves, has also been lonely and strange. Would you feel better if you cut your losses and went back home to your men, where everything felt familiar again? Could you cycle through medications until finding the magical cocktail that would allow you to be whole again?
No, you think. Probably not.
"Are you sure?" you ask, voice soft and uncertain. "I don't know how long I might need. I can't promise—"
Yoongi kisses your forehead, pressing his lips slowly as he hums. He says, "I'm sure. We can figure it out one day at a time."
With everything out in the open, your stomach pangs with hunger. You smile and ask, "Can we go eat now?" and you are delighted when Yoongi smiles with relief and says, "Yes, of course."
With his thumbs, Yoongi rubs below your eyes. His hands linger on your cheeks, and you expect him to lean forward and kiss you, but he drops his hands a beat later, then grabs onto one of yours and asks, "Shall we?"
Yoongi leads the two of you back to the dining room, and as you enter, you are pleased to find the entire table has erupted into pleasant conversation. Jeongguk's arm is draped over Ryujin's chair while Hwasa emphatically tells them a story, and Jimin is leaning close, listening with his chin propped onto his hands.
Taehyung is explaining something while glancing between Namjoon, Seokjin, and Hoseok, and as you and Yoongi round the table and return, nobody acknowledges the two of you until you take a seat and Namjoon—eyes still on Taehyung—gently places a hand on your knee.
It is only when you begin to reach for half-empty bowls of food that Namjoon takes your plate in his hand that you realize how long it has been since the two of you have spoken. You are once again overwhelmed with emotion and fight the urge to say sorry a hundred more times.
Instead, he points with a large metal spoon and says, "Both of these dishes have a tangy garlic sauce, but this one is a bit more spicy."
"I'd like to try both," you say, watching as Namjoon spoons a heap of chicken with vegetables onto your dish, followed by a heap of tofu and peanuts with vegetables in a slightly redder sauce full of chopped red peppers.
As Namjoon sets your plate in front of you, you reach with your long metal chopsticks with the intent to gather some noodles from a dish that is across from Yoongi, out of Namjoon's reach. However, Yoongi takes the dish and begins to scoop some onto a smaller plate for you, and you sit back with a smile and wait for him to finish.
"Still having those dreams?" Namjoon asks.
You know in an instant that he is referring to the dream that you wrote about in your letter, and you feel silly as you bite your bottom lip and nod.
"That has to be really stressful," he says, reaching for a pitcher of water to fill his empty glass.
You smile sadly, imagining his white shirt filling with blood. It is stressful, but— "On the plus side, I get to see you."
As you lift your gaze to meet Namjoon's, his furrowed brow and wilted frown gently lift, not quite into a smile, but at least something a bit more relaxed.
"Hi," you say softly, taking in Namjoon's familiar, beautiful face.
His smile widens, creasing his cheeks with dimples. He mutters, "Hey, you," and the soft, dulcet tone of his voice fills your chest with warmth.
You open your mouth to tell him that you love him. That you miss him. That you're sorry for leaving. So, so sorry.
But Ryujin loudly asks, "Caviar?" pulling the attention of everyone at the table.
Behind her, waitstaff hold new plates, and everyone nods in agreement before continuing their conversations. And although you could pour your heart out now, Hoseok steals Namjoon's attention away, and you decide the moment has passed.
Food and drink continue to appear in waves, and suddenly, you are tipsy and full and tired. Namjoon stands to walk around the table and have a quiet conversation with Ryujin, and Jimin seizes the opportunity to steal his seat. He and Jeongguk discuss business operations at Paradise while you rest your head against his shoulder and close your eyes listening to the sound of his voice. He is alive. He is awake.
He speaks slower, and there is a rough quality to his voice that was not present before. It seems to take him more time to process what is said to him, and he reacts as if on a delay. But he is here and alive and awake.
Only when more kaoliang is poured, and Ryujin raises a toast do you sit up and take your cup. You barely hear what she shouts, booze and excitement slurring her speech, but you make out the words together, family, and happy, and you tap your small glass against as many as you can reach before shooting the strong liquid down.
A large, warm hand rests on your right knee, and as you set down your empty glass, you turn to find Yoongi watching you, glassy-eyed with a smile on his lips. You attempt to smile back but instead, swallow thickly and search for something to say. Luckily, he speaks first.
“Do you have any idea how difficult it has been without you at home?” Yoongi’s gaze becomes pained but remains soft, tugging at your heart.
And although the sentiment is sweet, you are unable to ignore the impossibility of his question. In fact, for some inexplicable reason—you suppose you must blame the alcohol—you become somewhat annoyed.
You ask, “How could I possibly know that? And anyway, don't you have your hands full as it is?”
Across the table, Jeongguk snickers. It takes Yoongi a second to react, and you are glad when the corners of his lips raise into another smile, even if just for a second.
“Being around those girls has made you sassier than you were before, darling,” he mutters under his breath.
You roll your eyes. “It has only been a week, darling.”
Leaning close, elbows on the table, Yoongi lowers his voice and says, “It only took me about a week to begin wearing you down.”
Arousal stirs from the tone of his voice, but so does your stomach. Being kidnapped and worn down is not exactly a topic that you delight in discussing. You must not show your dissatisfaction, however, because Yoongi leans in close and presses a soft, warm kiss against your cheek.
As the raucous dinner comes to an end and you begin to wish everyone a safe trip home, Jeongguk finally approaches. You have been holding back the urge to kick him in the shin all night, feeling somewhat scorned by his lack of attention.
"So you're going to stay with the girls?" he asks, standing close enough to wrap you in an embrace but keeping his arms to his sides.
You nod and find it hard to hold his eye contact, looking down at his satin-clad shoulder instead. Jeongguk lifts a hand and delicately places two fingers under your chin, tilting your head until you look him in the eyes. The contact of his skin against yours sends an electric current through you, and you shiver.
"Call me if you need anything. I can be to Busan in a matter of hours."
Sheepishly, you glance down again and mutter, "I don't have anyone's number anymore."
Jeongguk drops his hand, turns to the left, and says, "Seokjin-hyung! What the fuck, man?"
Arguing ensues, but you are too distracted by Namjoon wrapping his arms around your side and pressing his lips to your neck. Suddenly, your bones are jelly, and you stumble to the right, leaning your weight against his embrace. Yoongi joins, taking your chin in his hand in a similar fashion to Jeongguk, and tilting your lips against his.
"We'll be ready whenever you are," Namjoon insists, lips grazing over your skin. "Whatever you need…please don't shut us out."
Somewhere behind Namjoon, Seokjin shouts, "Yah! I'll upload everyone to her contact list. Quit fussing!"
"Okay," you mutter while smiling against Yoongi's retreating mouth, unable to find anything more substantial to say despite it all lying in wait at the tip of your tongue all night.
"We miss you," Yoongi says, pressing another kiss against your temple. "But we can wait if that is what you need."
Tears well and you fight the urge to sob. Not here, you tell yourself. Not now. You have already cried so much.
You hug everyone, even Seokjin and Hoseok. Jeongguk attempts to play it cool, but he stares at your lips the entire time, and you practically beg him to kiss you before ultimately letting him walk away. Jimin litters your cheeks and temples with loud, wet smooches, causing you to giggle and shriek.
Taehyung asks about your medication, making your heart ache from his kindness. You briefly inform him that you have been having no dizzy spells, and he promises to send you more medication as soon as you are in Busan.
Finally, Namjoon and Yoongi pull you into another three-way hug and take turns kissing your lips, cheeks, and forehead. They mutter soft, sweet phrases that you only make out the tones of, feeling the whooshing of your pulse as you begin to question whether you are making a huge mistake and should just grab your shit and go home.
And then, all waving and clambering out the door haphazardly, they are gone, and the room is quiet.
You sigh and glance around at the dregs of food and alcohol, feeling simultaneously full and empty in more ways than one. Tears fill the edges of your eyes, and you do your best not to blink, worried that any movement will cause them to spill.
Ryujin sighs loudly. "Alright, well, this was fun and all, but I want to get fucking laid. You girls down for a night on the town?"
You glance down at your outfit, ready to complain, only you look good enough to go to a nightclub and find you have nothing to say to the contrary. You even wear a pair of cozy black ballet slippers, which you slid on while feeling unsure whether you could handle so many tumultuous emotions while wearing heels, and for that, you are grateful.
"Sure," you utter while turning to Hwasa, who has a drunk but devious grin tugging on her lips. Her smile widens and she claps excitedly.
The drive to the nightclub is long, and you are exhausted by the time you arrive, having been fading in and out of a stupor. You feel more drunk than you had earlier, and you are tempted to suggest taking a cab back to the hideout alone. Of course, that would never fly. You can already hear Ryujin singing buddy system in your head.
Hwasa eagerly pulls you from the back of the car and chuckles as she rubs her fingertips along the edge of your hairline and says, "Poor sleeping beauty. We'll get you something that will wake you up, okay?"
You respond with a halfhearted smile and nod, and she takes your hand in hers and yanks you to the door, not bothering to stop for the security guard who, to your surprise, makes no move to stop you either. Inside, loud bass-heavy club music plays, and you are led through a series of hallways until you enter a large room full of the rest of Ryujin's girls and a group of men.
The room is dark and somewhat hazy, lit by strips of purple lights along the ceiling and floor. Short two or three-person sofas line the mirrored walls and are dispersed throughout the space, most of which are occupied. On tables set beside each sofa are bottles of champagne and piles of cocaine, with glasses large and small scattered throughout and topped with small lamps that emit very little light.
Ryujin approaches a man sitting amidst the chaos by himself, sitting hunched over with his elbows on his knees, thumbing through his cell phone. You are curious whether these men are people she knows, and you watch to see how familiar she is with the lone man, but Hwasa steps in your line of vision and takes your chin in both of her hands.
"Coke?" she asks.
You want to say no, proud of yourself for being off the shit for as long as you have been away from home. But you are certain that without it, you will not survive this night, so you nod and allow yourself to be tugged further into the room, to an unoccupied table.
"Don't worry, this is from our stash," Hwasa says as she picks up a discarded rolled-up 100-dollar Taiwanese bill and tightens it between her finger and thumb. "Moon and Solar were in charge of overseeing the distribution process."
You mutter, "How generous," doing your best to smile, and watch as Hwasa snorts a small pile into one nostril and then the other. When she hands the bill to you, you take in a deep, slow breath, and let it out, then lean forward to snort from the edge of the pile first into your left nostril and then your right.
As you let the bill fall to the table and tip your head back, sniffing in again on each side, you ask, "Does Ryujin know these men?"
"Mmhmm," Hwasa hums as she fills two glasses with champagne and hands one to you. "A few of these guys worked at Paradise while I was there, and some of them are from Serendipity. Maybe you know them."
"Oh," you say, pulling the glass to your lips but stopping to ask, "How did they end up here?"
Hwasa purses her lips and tilts her head, making a show of how hard she is trying to conjure the answer to your question. Then her eyes widen and she says, "Oh! Some guy started to come around to Serendipity and just sort of gathered the rest of these guys up as, like, a posse. I don't really know what they do, to be honest, but they always dress up in matching suits and cover their faces, which is creepy as hell."
Your stomach tenses, and you feel too anxious to turn your head to the left and figure out who Ryujin is talking to. Although you know that there is absolutely no way in hell it is Christian, something about the description of the men reminds you of his men, and you begin to wonder whether there really was credence to Yoongi's worry surrounding the possibility of Christian being on this island.
"What's his name?" you ask, voice barely loud enough to be heard over the music.
"Hmm?" Hwasa asks into her champagne glass as she leans closer.
You begin to glance over to where Ryujin and the man are, but your heart pounds so hard, you worry you might be sick if you see him.
"The man who gathered all the guys, from Serendipity, " you say, leaning closer.
"What's his name?"
"Oh," Hwasa says, taking a slow slip of her champagne while her wide, dark eyes stare past you. She blinks owlishly, then pulls the glass from her lips and says, "He has a nickname…Insanity? Something like that."
Unable to stop yourself, your head flies to the left, searching the features of the man whose lap Ryujin has claimed with her legs. His nose is sharp and somewhat hooked, and it is not a familiar shape. Worried, you glance around the room, but there is no sign of Christian, as far as you can tell.
"Something the matter?" Hwasa asks, touching fingertips to your arm and making you nearly drop your glass of champagne.
You must look frantic when you turn back to her, based on the fear that pulls at her pretty features. You blink and wet your lips, shaking your head. Unconvincingly, judging by the way her brows knit and she continues to stare at you.
"I just..." you swallow thickly and glance around the room once more, slowly scanning every face you can see. "I just thought he sounded familiar."
Hwasa makes a small sound, and you scan several more faces before returning your gaze to her and asking, "Huh?"
"It's just," she says, uncertain, "well, I heard he was previously working on Jeongguk's team, back when he was a drug runner. So…maybe he is familiar?"
Something is not adding up. Although Seokjin mentioned that he has kept Christian around to do whatever he pleases, it seems odd that he would be known to these women as someone who was once part of Jeongguk's team. As you recall from the day you were taken to the mansion, he did not seem to perform his drug-running duties to Yoongi's liking. Did Seokjin keep him on Jeongguk's team even after that day? Could he have had something to do with the group of men Jeongguk massacred with kunai knives for fucking him over?
You stare at your glass of champagne trying to make all the pieces fit, but it feels like you are missing a huge chunk of information.
Hands touch your shoulders, causing you to jump. You mutter, "Shit," under your breath at the same time Ryujin's high, somewhat mocking laughter fills your left ear.
"So sorry to scare you, pretty darling," she slurs, sounding quite inebriated.
"Don't worry about it," you say, attempting to loosen your posture. Ryujin's hands remain on your shoulders and you do not want her to feel how tense you are. But then she squeezes your shoulders and you close your eyes, this time succeeding in relaxing.
"How do you feel after such an emotional dinner?"
"Good," you respond while her thumbs circle over your muscles. You wonder whether she is the reason Hwasa always gives massages. Or perhaps it is the other way around. "And, I don't know. I guess also conflicted. Homesick."
Ryujin's hands fall away and she rests her chin on your left shoulder, loosely wrapping her arms around yours and pinning yours to your sides. Hwasa busies herself pouring a third glass of champagne.
"You really like them, hmm?" Ryujin asks.
"Yeah," you say, possibly too quiet for how loud the music in this room is. "Most of them, anyway."
The last part is a joke. You like Seokjin and Hoseok just fine, but you are certainly not as close to them as you are to the others. Taehyung, too, for that matter, although he has had the pleasure of watching his boyfriend rail you, which has formed its own kind of bond between the two of you.
"What is your relationship with the guys?" she asks.
Hwasa hands her a glass, and she releases her hold on you and takes it, muttering a soft, "Thank you."
You turn to face Ryujin. Although you still hesitate to become too close to her, you do feel comfortable in her presence, all things considered. If Yoongi is willing to trust her again, then perhaps you should be, too.
"Yoongi, Namjoon, and I are a thing." After a pause, you add, "And…sort of Jeongguk."
Ryujin's mouth falls open and she gasps. "I need to know more!"
You feel your cheeks become hot, and you pick up your glass of champagne, which Hwasa has filled. But rather than explain, you ask something that has been on your mind for a while.
"Before, when you and Yoongi were together, was Namjoon…" Unsure how to finish the sentence, you trail off. Luckily, Ryujin knows just what you mean.
She nods. "Yes. Romantically, those two have always been the closest. Namjoon and I were never super physical. We were just very, very comfortable around one another because of Yoongi."
Interesting. You suppose this makes sense, remembering a conversation between you and Jimin a while back when he told you about how marrying Ryujin was a means to an end more than anything else.
"Yoongi and I were meant to bring two families together. And, don't get me wrong, we were physically and emotionally attracted to one another. But we also had more fulfilling relationships on the side. For Yoongi, it was Namjoon."
"And for you?" you ask before you can stop yourself.
Ryujin smiles wide, but then it falls to a frown. She shakes her head. "Doesn't matter. Nobody you know."
You nod and accept her answer. You suppose that perhaps the two of you are not that close, yet. In tandem, you and Ryujin raise your glasses to drink. But then she yells, "Oh!" and you startle enough to nearly spill your champagne onto yourself. "Jeongguk, though! What happened with him?"
You tip your head back and chug the rest of your bubbly. It is truly miserable to drink quickly, and you instantly regret your decision, feeling the carbonation sloshing around in your guts.
"We, uh…" you begin, feeling shy. Why do you feel shy?
"You should see those two," Hwasa interjects, causing your face to heat even more. "They bicker like children but then circle one another like feral animals. I can only imagine their chemistry behind closed doors."
Affronted, your mouth falls wide. "We what? No we do not!"
Hwasa nods, grinning. "Yes, you do! I thought the two of you were fucking for sure when I first started working for Jimin. I was shocked to learn Jeongguk was with Taehyung and you were with Yoongi."
"And Namjoon," Ryujin supplies.
Hwasa's grin widens.
You raise your hands to your face as if to hide. This day has been exhausting, and these two are giggling at your expense like a couple of school girls.
"Oh, stop," Hwasa says as one of your hands is tugged down from your face. You open just the one eye, keeping the other closed tight behind your palm. "Everyone wants a piece of your ass. Don't be shy about it! Embrace it."
With a sigh, you shake your head. "Not everyone," you groan, feeling defensive.
"Everyone with eyes," Ryujin says, waggling her eyebrows while Hwasa makes kissy noises. "I would shoot my shot if you weren't already so taken."
Hwasa nods and says, "Me too!"
Suddenly, it is too warm and too loud in here. "I need a stronger drink!" you declare, making both women laugh.
You take a step back and turn, moving in autopilot toward the door before realizing you have no idea where you are nor where a bar in this building is.
Ryujin takes your right hand and yanks you gently back, sing-songing, "Ah, ah, ah, not by yourself."
"Alright," you concede, interlocking your fingers with hers. As you begin to walk toward the exit, your left hand is engulfed and you glance to find Hwasa is coming along.
You exit the mirrored room and turn right, taking a dark hallway about halfway and then turning right once more, through a thick black curtain that is guarded by two men on the other side. There is a bar directly to the right, and Ryujin tugs you to the counter and orders a bottle of whiskey that you do not catch the name of.
With a nod, the bartender grabs an unopened bottle from a high shelf and then delicately stacks three medium-sized glasses. Hwasa takes the glasses, Ryujin takes the whiskey, and your hands remain held by both of theirs.
Back in the mirrored room, you return to the table off to the right, toward the back. The girls release your hands to pour three drinks, and you fidget by pinching the satin of your skirt between your thumbs and knuckles, suddenly feeling antsy.
"Cheers," Ryujin declares as she slides a drink in front of you. You take it, hold it up, and tap it against their glasses, then pull it to your lips and smell the strong, bittersweet liquid before taking a sip.
The potent, boozy caramel flavor that you have come to expect is accented by a hint of something earthy, possibly wood. You take a bigger drink, hold it on your tongue, allowing your taste buds to open and fully experience the onslaught as they adjust, and then you swallow it down.
"Tomorrow, we return to Busan," Ryujin says for the second time tonight as the whiskey flows down into your chest, filling you with warmth. You look forward to being at a proper home rather than on some random floor in a balmy, empty building.
"I'm looking forward to seeing your home," you say, sounding far more meek than you intend to.
"I'm looking forward to hosting you."
Hwasa leans her elbows on the table and says, "You finally get to have your own room. That is, of course, unless you want to stay with me."
The playful smile on Hwasa's face, paired with her tired and intoxicated bloodshot eyes is almost enough to make you melt. Almost enough to make you follow her into any room she wants to lead you into.
When you shrug and say, "Honestly, I may be too lonely to sleep alone," you are being brutally honest, and not all all flirtatious.
"I can even decorate it like your room in the mansion," Ryujin says. "Is it still yellow?"
Her words halt your movement of lifting your glass back to your lips. "How did you know that?"
Ryujin rolls her eyes and says, "Please, nothing about that man has changed, down to the way he likes to outfit you. It's exactly as it was seven years ago."
Bile swirls around in your tummy, and you set the glass down on the mirrored table with a clank that is louder than you intend. Could that be true? Is Yoongi really outfitting you in the same fashion he was outfitting her all those years ago.
Hwasa clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth and swats at Ryujin's arm, muttering, "Mother, don't say things like that to her," under her breath.
You shake your head, determined to not show how strange the information makes you feel. But Ryujin turns, pouts dramatically, and wraps her arms around you.
"Oh, sweetie, I don't mean to suggest he was trying to turn you into a second me. He just seems to have the same tastes and fashion sense, is all. Trust me, he loves you way more than he could ever love me. I can tell."
You have no idea whether Ryujin is being truthful or trying to make you feel better, but you decide that either way, you see no use in dwelling on it. You are going to be living under her roof for the foreseeable future, and becoming upset whenever she says something a little too blunt, snippy, or insensitive is not going to get you anywhere.
With a nod, you say, "I know. Don't worry." But it only makes her squeeze you tighter.
"Just look at his bullshit excuse for taking you home with him," she says. "Collateral, my ass."
What an odd statement. You ask, "What do you mean?" But what you really mean to say is what do you know?
"The man takes you as so-called payment from your ex but then spends millions of dollars on a wardrobe, an armored vehicle, the most lavish birthday party in all of Seoul. Make it fucking make sense!"
Ryujin releases the hug, and as soon as you are free, you slam back your whiskey and pick up the 100-dollar bill, squeezing it tighter into a tube. Ryujin whoops and claps as you lean close and snort from the edge of the cocaine pile into your left nostril and then your right.
"Mommy needs some, too," she says as she takes the bill from your hand and leans forward.
You tip your head back and raise a knuckle to each nostril, sniffing deeply to make sure none of the drug is stuck inside your nose cavity, then you stand up straight, stretching your back by pushing forward your chest, and reach for the bottle of whiskey.
"Partying so hard without me?" a male voice asks from behind you, and you nearly drop the bottle.
The tone, the accent, and the cadence all confirm your fears are true.
"Christian?" you mutter as you spin, and you almost do not believe your eyes.
From the expression he wears and the way his gaze falls to the floor, eyes widening as they lift to your face, you wager he also cannot believe his.
Christian steps forward and you take a step back, elbow hitting the table and causing you to grip tighter to the bottle of whiskey.
"Barom-oppa!" Ryujin shouts as she pounces on Christian, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"Hey there, dearie," he says, lifting his arms to return the hug, never taking his eyes off you.
Christian looks somewhat normal compared to the last time you saw him, with a white and red floral button-up tucked into black slacks, and a black leather blazer. His hair has some product in it to give it a slightly messy style, falling in front of his eyes, and he wears minimal makeup.
But there is a darkness to him. Smudges around the eyes rather than clean lines, tattoos on his throat and neck. On his left hand, he wears a black leather driving glove, and across his nose is a red scuff, as if he has been punched. Under the rich musk that fills the air around him, you sense the stale smell of cigarette smoke, and he has silver hoops in his ears and one in his left nostril.
A lot has changed about Christian in the months since you have known him.
Ryujin releases their hug and takes a step back, causing Christian to look down at himself and rub his hands down the front of his jacket as if her tiny body could have somehow managed to do anything to the leather. Then he stands up straight and shakes his head to the side just enough for his hair to move out from in front of his eyes, and you realize that his left eye is completely white. Is it…missing?
"Oh my god, your eye!" you shout, lunging forward before you can stop yourself and raising your left hand toward his face while your right hand nearly drops the whiskey bottle once more.
Christian takes your wrist in his gloved hand and holds firmly onto you, and your entire body flushes hot with nerves as you realize the mistake you have made. The way his gaze holds onto you, even with only one dark iris and pupil, is piercing and intense, and you attempt futility to pull your hand away.
"Funny story how I lost that," he says, expression pulling into a strange, sad grin. He leans close, nicotine on his breath as he says, "I'll have to tell you some time."
You pull on your arm, desperate to release it, but his grip is far stronger than you remember. Should you be afraid of this man?
"Christian," you begin, glancing from your hand to his face.
"Perhaps over drinks, some time," he continues. "Just the two of us."
You nod, willing to lie to him if it means letting you go. Panic rises as you continue to take stock of how different he is from the man you used to know.
Ryujin takes the whiskey from your hand, sets it on the table, and then grabs his hand in both of hers as she says, "Alright, that is enough of that. I need you two to play nice."
The room returns to view, and you remember why you are here and who you are with. You realize belatedly that these two not only know each other but that they are friendly with one another.
"Wait," you say, turning to Ryujin, "you told Yoongi—"
"Look, I lied to him," she says, cutting you off.
Your mouth falls open and your pulse whooshes in your ears. "You…but…" Could she possibly know what she has done by bringing the two of you together? "Why?"
Ryujin chuckles and steps close to Christian, placing her dainty, manicured hands over his chest. "Oppa is harmless. You know that! And Yoongi…well, he's paranoid. Trust me, darling. Nothing bad will happen to you."
You are not so sure you are convinced, but you know that freaking out will do nobody any good. Especially when you are so far away from home. You are not eager to show any more weakness to any of these people. Especially the one they call Mister Insanity.
Someone shouts for Christian, using the name Barom, and you turn quickly back to the table. Your glass contains more whiskey, courtesy of one of the women, you assume, and you pick up the glass with shaking hands and slam it down, then reach for the bottle again.
Intoxication roils through you in hot waves, and you squeeze your eyes closed to take a deep breath in and out before shooting more whiskey. A small hand touches your lower back, and you wish you were curled up in a bed all by yourself, far away from these people and this music. You are tired of being touched.
"I know it's weird to see an ex," Ryujin says. "Sorry for surprising you like this. He told me he wouldn't be around tonight."
"How did he lose his eye?" you ask, focused on the wrong thing as you turn to face Ryujin. You tremble so hard that your teeth clatter.
Her smile falls to a frown and she shakes her head. "That isn't my story to tell."
You nod, accepting her answer, and turn to Hwasa, who watches you with a concerned expression. You mouth the word, "Bathroom?" and she nods and rounds the table, taking you by the arm.
"Down the hall to the left," Ryujin says.
As you walk through the room, you squint, attempting to ignore all the movement in the mirrors in your periphery. It's too much. Everything is too much.
The darkness of the hallway is a blessing and a curse, relieving you from the chaos of the private room while introducing challenges of its own; it is almost too dark and somewhat claustrophobic.
You stumble and Hwasa's hold on you tightens. She picks up the pace and leads you straight into a single-stall bathroom, then turns on a light that is thankfully relatively dim. The moment she closes and locks the door, you stumble forward, fall to your knees on the rough tile before the toilet, and vomit the contents of your stomach.
Your mind races with myriad thoughts, but one is the loudest of them all: What the fuck is Christian doing here?
*
Oh, oh, I broke down all my doors Oh, do you see it now? Nothing was fixed at all
I never asked to be like this
🎵 visit the playlist
hello, hello!!! we meet again!!! i hope you have all been having great middle of the year months! things have been ok for me but i have been reading a lot more than i have been writing. how did you feel about this one??? it is a little slower, as it is setting the stage for the final chapters. any guess how things are going to go? how do we feel about the new (and returned) characters??? it felt really nice to writing Jimin into the scene again. 💜 i'll be honest, describing Ryujin & the Mamamoo girls laying on the rugs and blankets made me think of Quanxi and her harem of fiends from Chainsaw Man.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!! REBLOGS ARE IMPORTANT BLAHBLAHBLAH LIKES ARE ALSO AMAZING AND SO ON. 💜 tags will be coming in reblogs. also, character asks are always active if you have some burning questions or comments (just don't expect me to outright spoil anything hehehe.)
i love you, stay hydrated!!! if you are somewhere with a heatwave, stay cool!!! 😘😘😘 until we meet again!!!
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Collateral is copyright 2022-2024 theharrowing, all rights reserved. no translations of reposts allowed.
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jisung likes to hold hands when he cums and he gets so clingy afterwards
the way my phone flew out of my hand when i read this--
poor jisung, it doesn't matter how many times he's had sex, he stillllll is just a little guy with the same habits where he's constantly checking on you and asking for updates-- "is this okay?" "can i go faster?" "should i slow down?" "you want me to be rougher?? are you sure?" "can i cum?" he has to ask permission every time. every. single. time. he's searching for the sanity that you steal from him every time he thrusts into you and he can't think about anything aside from how perfect you are. since he can't think, you have to do it for him. yes, it feels good. go faster, yes! don't slow down-- please be more rough, you can do whatever you want! and his favorite thing to hear: "cum for me, baby." when your hands are tangled in his hair and he's got his fingers digging into your hips, his mind goes blank. he switches for your hands which he pulls out of his hair so that he can pin them over your head, both of you intertwining your fingers simultaneously, and you kiss passionately as he drills into you until suddenly-- "fuck, fuck, i can't hold back--" "don't hold back." "im cumming!" "cum for me, baby, you can do it. good boy." it's like he's terrified you're going to run away because his strong grip has you trapped beneath him as he finally lets his orgasm hit him with full force. condom or no condom, it doesn't matter. cumming inside of you is the best feeling in the world. when he comes down from his high, jisung slumps-- still inside of you because he doesn't have the strength to slide out yet-- and the second he can speak, he croaks, "are you okay? was it okay? i'm sorry if i was too rough-- did you cum? i can help if you need--" he's so cute, i swear omg. but his hands are still clasped with yours to keep you pinned against the mattress as his sweaty body lays on top of yours. finally, as he can slide out, jisung rolls over, pulling you on top of him so that he doesn't crush you anymore while the two of you relax for a bit. even when you have to get up to pee, jisung won't let you go. you've tried to explain that you literally HAVE to pee to be safe, but he begs for just another few minutes.......... it's only after he falls asleep that you can escape to clean up before crawling right back into his arms.
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coldflash fics 2024 wrap up!
I spend too much time hanging around in the coldflash tag on ao3 so here's some data I gathered on the fics published this year!
a total of 171 works published/updated by 87 writers (+orphaned and anonymous authors). it brings the total fics in the tag up to 4991 fics, we're almost at 5000! this is a total of approximately 2,924,914 words, which is over 1.5 times the entire ASOIAF series lol (technically this is an overestimate because I didn't bother excluding word counts of longfic chapters published before 2024 whoops)
34 people published a coldflash fic for the first time this year! welcome, we are very happy to have you :)
14 people published fics in a language other than English (5 Russian, 2 French, 2 Spanish, 2 Chinese, 1 Hungarian, 1 Portuguese, 1 Czech)
16-ish cross over fics (obviously this ship has way more crossovers than usual because len goes over to the legends so I didn't count those, but I DID count those highschool/college/groupchat/watch the show au's where every arrowverse/dcu character is chucked into one fic as a crossover) (my post my rules lmao)
1 podfic, 1 fic set in someone else's fic, and 2 translated fics! the transformative works are getting transformed :D
8 gifted works. much generosity, very wow
most fics: 🥇Lady_Meg_666 with 20 fics 🥈SoftBoyDepot with 10 fics🥉BeauregardsTaxicab with 7 fics
highest word count: 🥇 BeauregardsTaxicab with a total of 519,382 words 🥈alex_jude with a total of 155,458 words🥉MK_Morreaux with a total of 95,957 words
longest fic (began prior to 2024): 🥇Arrowverse watching arrowverse with 381,534 words 🥈That Rare Arctic Thunderstorm with 233,199 words🥉Just for a Second with 118,757 words
longest fic (began 2024):🥇Mr. Blue Sky with 268,722 words 🥈There Are Some Strings on Me with 124,404 words 🥉 This Is What You Came For with 107,485 words
oldest fic writers: 🥇 moriavis first published 25 December 2015 and published 07 February this year 🥈coldflasher first published 28 September 2016 and published 17 December this year 🥉n_a_feathers first published 02 October 2016 and updated 12 May this year
funniest tags goes to "Canon is an Ecclesiastical term and I am a heretic," "Slow Burn but just the feelings part they're having sex the whole time," and "Barry Keeps Learning Things About Himself"
least funny tag goes to "no beta we die like Leonard snart" WHY WERE THERE TWO FICS WITH THIS STOP I'LL CRY
most use of taylor swift lyrics as titles goes to alex_jude with three fics. literally no one else is competing in this category lol
thank you to all the fic writers who kept me well fed this year love you <3
#it's 11pm nobody post any new fics so my data remains accurate!!!#obviously I don't mean to make anyone feel bad with the rankings emphasising long fics but I wasn't sure what other data to track#if you have anything else you would like to see data on I can include that :)#k.txt#coldflash
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𝕀𝕟𝕜𝕪 ℝ𝕚𝕓𝕓𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝟙𝟘𝟙 / 𝕀𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕠 ℙ𝕠𝕤𝕥 🐙🎀
Template | Dividers
Their tag: #inky ribbons | Ship Pinboard | Moodboards | Icons | Playlist | Fankids | Genderbends | Other filled templates: 1, 2 (outdated) , 3 (will keep getting updated)
Inky Ribbons is a romantic (yume)ship between Azul from Twisted Wonderland and my OC Jovie. Jovie is not my self-insert/twst sona (I'm a guy lol) making it purely oc x canon. Note: This post will be about them in an established relationship, along with other fun little stuff, not how they became a couple (that needs its own post lmao).
Basics:
Azul Ashengrotto | 17-18 y/o, February 24, 176cm | Bisexual Cis Male (he/him) | Talented in Mental Arithmetic | Housewarden of Octavinelle | An Octo-merman of Coral Sea | Twisted after Ursula (The Little Mermaid)
Jovelina "Jovie" Enspellika | 17-18 y/o, March 1, 158cm | Bisexual Fem Enby (she/they) | Talented in Singing | Member of Ramshackle (not Yuu) | A Witch of Wicked Grove | Twisted after The Sanderson Sisters (Hocus Pocus)
(more undercut)
First impression/How they met:
How they met:
Azul and Jovie are technically childhood friends. Jovie was originally born in a seaside house near the Coral Sea, where her family lived before moving back to their homeland. One day, as kids, these two accidentally met by chance at the beach. At the time, Jovie was Azul’s first friend, as he hadn’t met the twins yet. They were friends for a few years until they eventually lost touch after Azul stopped coming to the shore to see her (around the time he started focusing on his studies and weight). They met again in NRC as freshmen (Jovie came as an international student seeking new experiences).
First impressions:
Jovie: (as kids) She was AMAZED by his appearance, much to his surprise. Jovie loves things that look/are unusual, so once she found out merfolk with tentacles exist she was THRILLED! (after reunion) She was shocked, almost didn’t recognise him! Not only because of his appearance but also because of the way he behaved and carried himself. It’s not that she didn’t like him! She was so happy to see her old friend again, he was just…different, in both good and bad ways.
Azul: (as kids) Terrified, someone saw him, a human no less! He was incredibly flustered by her overexcitement and kindness, even if it initially overwhelmed him. He quickly got attached to her and swam to see her every day. (after reunion) He immediately recognised her. Of course he would, in his eyes, she hadn’t changed a bit. Because of that assumption, he assumed he wouldn’t be interested in her again— until he noticed how able she was to catch him off guard constantly, then his feelings started to change.
Old doodle from April: First Meeting
Nicknames:
Azul calls Jovie: Angelfish (main), Angel, Dear, Darling (the simple and classy options).
Jovie calls Azul: Azzy (main), Zuzu, Sweetie, Honey, Honeypie, Moonbeam, Baby, Baby boy, Babe (the list goes on, she likes calling him by various ones).
Primary Love Languages/PDA:
Azul: (giving) Acts of Service, Quality Time, Gift Giving // (receiving) Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time
Jovie's: (giving) Physical Affection, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation // (receiving) Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Affection
Azul wanted to keep up appearances initially, so he prevented most of the PDA Jovie initiated. However, as he got more comfortable in the relationship, he let Jovie be more physically affectionate with him in public (it still flusters him, though). However, they're still much more affectionate in private.
Jealousy?:
Jovie is much more jealous compared to Azul, and it stems from her abandonment issues. She fears Azul may find someone who is less "difficult to deal with" and leave her. This fear makes her extra clingy and possessive since she worked hard to be with him and she's terrified of losing him (again). She tries to improve this aspect of herself since it does push Azul away a few times.
Azul doesn't get jealous as much as he gets envious. He feels envy when Jovie pays attention to someone else for qualities she usually admires in him (ie. intelligence, looks etc.). He'll analyse in his head why they did that, and try to adopt those qualities himself. Jovie usually notices this behaviour and reassures him they still think he's the most beautiful and intelligent person in her eyes.
Idea Dates:
Azu: He prefers when the two of them enjoy quality and peaceful time together, often accompanied by coffee or tea. Whether it's relaxing at the lounge after closing time, in their bedrooms, or just taking a stroll around the campus, he cherishes the time they spend alone together. He also loves to organise special dates, putting in the effort to make them memorable for her. For example, he'll set up a tablet at the harbour, surrounded by candles with food already prepared (example). These surprise dates are often planned for special occasions or simply when he wants to show how much he cares for her with a grand gesture.
Jovie: She adores dates where she gets to dress up— restaurants, bars, dance events etc. The process of finding her best dress and doing her make-up brings her joy, both for herself and because of Azul’s compliments. She's delightful to see Azul all dressed up too, taking every chance to shower him with praise (his fluster expressions are always worth it after all). However, unlike Azul, she doesn't necessarily prefer for things to be "nice and neat"— quite the opposite, in fact. If rain starts during a date, instead of finding a way to get back to school as Azul would suggest, they will pull him into the rain for a dance (example). There is nothing better than dancing with him, even in the rain (and even if it means getting sick because they're accustomed to the cold like Azul).
Favourite/Least Favourite feature about the other:
Azul:
Favourite: He loves her ability to think outside the box and find solutions to problems quickly, even with unconventional means. She will go against the professor's orders to not touch a ruined potion, only for her to fix it and prevent a mess inside the classroom. Admittedly— there are times when she scares him, but the majority of the time her free spirit ends up being useful. Least Favourite: Although he loves that she can freely solve issues, this free spirit of hers is often the source of many headaches. They will often do things completely on their own, often not taking the time to listen to him on why she may be wrong or what she’s about to do is a bad idea. Although, he knows Jovie’s actions are her own and the best he can do is advise her— even tho it’s annoying when they won’t listen.
Jovie:
Favourite: Jovie absolutely adores Azul’s determination to put effort into everything he does. Whether it’s for his studies, for the lounge or even their relationship they know he’ll give his 100%. They very rarely care about things being “perfect”, they value effort, and Azul puts plenty of that in everything. Even if a date he planned somehow goes wrong she won’t care at all, he still tried his best for her, and that fact makes her love him even more. Least Favourite: The way he tries to make things transactional. She understands why he does it, and they truly try to be as patient as possible with him, but damn i,t it does get annoying. He’s been improving since the start of the relationship, but doing things for him in the beginning would be exhausting, because he’d often worry she’d expect something in return from him (she didn’t).
Songs that fit their relationship:
Azul’s POV:
Outset Island - Hot Freaks Stupid Cupid - Connie Francies Hidden in the Sand - Tally Hally Dream Girl - Annaje Kiss the Girl - Little Mermaid | Cover by VoicePlay
Jovie’s POV:
Baby Boy - Hot Freaks From the Start - Laufey Sally's Song - The Nightmare Before Christmas Your Reality - Doki Doki Literutare Club Fight For Me - Heathers the Musical
Both:
Line Without a Hook - Ricky Montgomery (ft mxmtoon) If Only (Quartet) from start until 2:17 minutes - The Little Mermaid Musical Therapy - tick, tick…BOOM! Here Comes a Thought - Steven Universe / Cover by Caleb Hyles Good Old Fashion Lover Boy - Queen Seventeen - Heathers the Musical Must be Love - Laufey Finale/Reprise (Sally’s and Jack’s part) - The Nightmare Before Christmas (Royal AU) Sixteen Going on Seventeen - The Sound of Music (Pirate AU) Calico Jack - Karliene
Trivia:
🐙 They enjoy spending time together alone after the mostro lounge closes, enjoying a nice cup of tea and just talking about anything that comes to mind.
🎀 They're the only person who can give Azul a gift, or do him favours, without feeling indebted to her (however it took him a while to get there, and he still tries to find ways to “repay” her actions).
🐙 Jovie hoards earrings. She ADORES earrings, she has 3 holes in both ears. No wonder Azul's gifts tend to be...well, earrings! (sometimes necklaces too).
🎀 Jovie sucks at giving gifts (and often doesn't have the money for them) so instead she asks Azul what they wanna do for the day. Whatever he says, it happens, just a special day where they can do whatever he wants.
🐙 Azul knows that for Jovie words often aren’t enough (even though they’re appreciated). So Azul makes sure he shows how much he cares about them through various actions (taking food for them at the cafeteria, remembering the things she tells him, offering to carry her books etc). It's the small things that get her.
🎀 If Azul wants to convince Jovie to do something all he has to do is smooth talk/flirt with her and she gives in. However, he’s not any better than her, they’re both each other’s weaknesses.
🐙 They're in the same class! Azul will usually playfully scold Jovie for not paying attention in class. Jovie can get help from him with homework (for a price of course) (the price being a date) since she struggles with the non-practical aspects of lessons.
🎀 Azul did an excessive amount of research on Jovie's culture so he's prepared for the day they'll tell him "my family wants to meet you". He thinks it'll prepare him to make a good first impression if he's knowledgeable about their culture (It, in fact, does not help him regarding his stress over actually meeting them).
🐙 The first time they publicly held hands was during the SDC, and he initiated it, causing Jovie to freeze in place for a moment as they tried to process what he had just done (he’s very private about the relationship, so it was a surprise).
🎀 She's the only one allowed inside the bathroom in cases where his potion has worn off and he needs to wait for the next refill inside the bathtub.
🐙 With Azul’s birthday being on Feb 24 and Jovie’s on March 1, they spend Feb 28 as their own personal date to spend time alone between their parties.
🎀 Occasionally, when she hangs out in his VIP room with him, Jovie will quietly hum (mostly songs from her homeland). He finds it extremely relaxing, although sometimes he may get distracted from work and be enamoured with her voice.
🐙 Jovie likes to sneak into his room in the middle of the night and crawl under his blankets to sleep with him. 9 times out of 10 he knows she’s doing this, but after the first 3 times, he just stopped reacting and let her be.
🎀 Jovie occasionally enjoys preparing meals for Azul, and she's developed the habit of cutting his food into hearts. Whether it's veggies, meat, sweets, etc., she will make sure they're heart-shaped. Originally, they started it as a small way to help him deal with his eating issues.
Author's note: Wow, okay, this is *check notes* 2069+ words in total. Feel free to call me insane! Help, what do I even say? I feel like the post speaks for itself. I’m not normal about them. I WANTED TO WRITE MORE, LMAO. Umm, I hope you enjoy my…silly ship or whatever. Heh... I'm not sure what else to say. Uh, embrace your insanity, guys. It may lead you to make an almost 2000+-word post about your OC X canon ship.
If you read this far I love you forever muah muah kisses kisses hugs hugs/p
tag list: @ramshacklerumble @thehollowwriter @summerspook @scint1llat3 @skriblee-ksk
@cyanide-latte @twistedwonderlandshenanigans @oya-oya-okay @viperbunnies @gimmeurmoneyagh (lmk/dm if you wanna be added)
#twisted wonderland#twst#azul ashengrotto#twst azul#azul ashengrotto x oc#azul x oc#twst azul x oc#twst oc x canon#twst x canon#twst oc#twisted wonderland oc#jovelina enspellika#not yuu/mc#inky ribbons#harry's art#harry's writing#this has been rotting in my drafts for a while enjoy <3#will keep getting updated as time goes on
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i like him
#somebody needs to keep me 8 metres away at all times or else ill start chewing on him#i just want everyone to know if i end up making a character who happens to resemble harvey in any shape or form#it probably wasnt a coincidence 😐and it will happen again#if i remember maybe ill try getting stardew when it goes on sale.. my friend showed me her farm and she named her chicken after doja cat#or maybe it was nikki minaj i cant remember. and she also said smth about monsters and passing out if you stay out after a certain hour#idk how accurate tht is all i know is the funny fucked up grandpas bed#i read somewhere that harveys supposed to be in his early to mid thirties and i dont have a problem with it but i think itd be very funny#if hes actually younger than he looks hes just a med school postgrad lmao. idk how well that headcanon would hold up since ive#never played the game and idk how often ppl talk about his age or if itsjust an implied thing. i just think its really really funny#im trying to get into the habit of drawing poses so im using reference images to try and build up muscle memory#i found some cute pictures of two ppl playing by the sea shore and it reminded me of xin and sailor so im gonna draw em like that#i havent drawn em in so long..... maybe i should update xins reference since i changed their lore quite a bit#myart#my art#doodles#stardew valley#stardew#sdv#sdv harvey#kinda wanna see him whimper a little bit. as a treat
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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#demifiendcruithne this one is for you. i don't even know if this is your favorite pokémon but when i see it i think of you bc of your icon#lordy this blog is getting more and more difficult as time goes on. apparently we've exited the era of models Just Working for me and now#i have to spend hours tinkering with them just to get the eyes to show up and even then they don't look nearly as good as they used to#when they Just Worked#the alolan forms are kicking my ass. and i even tried to use the swsh models for these guys since i assumed those would work#but now i'm finding out that the Entirety of gen 8 is going to be even more difficult on me#dunno how much longer i can keep up This act unless i find some way to make this easier on me#alolan meowth#update from the future: incredible thanks to jodie-blend here on tumblr for her endless kindness in helping me figure out how to do#this at least a little bit easier. they'll still look a little bit different but at least this has me covered for gen 9#but for cases like alolan rattata and raticate i'm still fucked. also gen 8 i'm still fucked#but. the complaining above is now a little bit more bearable
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Good luck on the interview! Don’t be nervous, just remember the STAR method and you’ll do great!☝🏾🤓
I NEED TO DO ALL THAT IN 5-8 SECONDS??!?!?! NO WAYING IM COOKED BRO ORZ
#i just keep telling to myself if its okay if i dont ace the interview bc hey at least i tried yk#im alr struggling to come up with the question 'tell me abt yourself' or 'what r ur strengths' like shit dude i dont even know myself#i doubt they would want a cookie cutter answer bc i KNOW theyve heard of that a million times alr so ill just be honest but not TOO honest#if u get what i mean#TYSM THOUGH 🙏🙏😭😭😭 I WILL SEND AN UPDATE ABT HOW IT GOES#franswers
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A story of romance, drama, and politics which Cullen has accidentally become invested in.
Supplemental material for Unwanted, from the perspective of Cullen. In this addendum, Cullen is busy sulking :(
(Masterpost. Addendums. Words: 1,220. Rating: all audiences. Warnings: sad. Addendums may contain spoilers for Unwanted and are best read after finishing the story entirely.)
Chapters 30-31, Addendum
Darkness consumed Cullen’s office. The evening had drawn in, giving way to pitch and shadow, yet he had not cared to light a single candle. He slumped in his chair, hands pushing through his hair until it tangled into a mess of curls. Let the darkness have him.
A little knock sounded upon his door. He ignored it, as he had all the others. He didn’t want to see anyone, and he couldn’t fathom how anyone would wish to see him.
“Cullen?” they called. “Please may I come in?”
Josephine had never sounded so unsure. Sighing, Cullen pushed himself out of the chair, and trudged over to the door. He slid the bolt out of the lock, but left her to open it. By the time the sun’s dying rays had managed to slip through, his back was already turned, his palms resting upon his desk.
“Cullen, are you all right?” she asked.
One by one, candles came to life—ignited by her own. Cullen turned his head from their glow.
“I ruined everything,” he muttered.
“No—this is not your fault.”
“It is,” he growled. “She was right. I treated them abominably, without even considering the consequences.” He tensed his fist against the wood. “I needn’t have done this. But I did. Selfishly. This is what I deserve.”
“No, Cullen. You don’t understand.”
“Don’t try to spare me. It was I who—”
“Stop!” she snapped, causing him to at last look round. “Cullen, will you stop admonishing yourself long enough for you to listen to me!?”
He stared at her, confused, but only so much. Self-hatred drowned him sufficiently enough to prevent even a droplet of anything else.
“There is a darker truth to all of this,” Josephine confessed. “I am sorry, believe me, I am—but I lied to you. I told you that the Ladies were invited to be a deterrent to your enquirers, but that is not wholly accurate to my intentions.”
He narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, where to begin? You know, Cullen—you are always working in this office. Or training your soldiers. You never take breaks! We have all talked about it, tried to find ways to stop you.” It all tumbled out of her, like a dam had been broken. “Dorian and Leliana play chess with you, Bull and Cassandra spar, Varric invites you to cards—but you never come.” She sighed. “If you do not stop, you will destroy yourself doing this. And we cannot let you.”
Cullen strayed from the desk, pacing towards the bookshelf—if only to give himself a moment. A moment to digest, a moment to comprehend. Her plan, all along, was not to ward off his suitors… but to find a suitable one? Because he worked too much?
“This was your solution?”
“Not ours—but mine alone,” Josephine clarified. “I admit, it was clumsy. But, I had the faint hope that it might work. Had you not discovered their arrival beforehand, it would have all been quite natural. Accidental meetings, here and there. Nothing so forced. Simply... time to know each other.”
“Without my knowledge?”
“I thought you would object.” She chuckled to herself. “In that, at least, I was correct. But I assure you—it was not done out of a desire to make you… miserable. Indeed, I hoped for the opposite. I had hoped one of the Ladies might... catch your interest.”
Cullen placed a hand upon the shelf, and gazed at the spines of the books stood upon it. One recent addition caught his eye: a basic study of astronomy, borrowed from the library. He'd read it twice.
“Well done,” he muttered.
“Why?”
He retreated from the shelf. “It worked.”
Lady Trevelyan. A name that had rattled around his mind, for one reason or another, since he met her. The reason now was most painful of all.
“I know,” murmured Josephine. “I’m sorry. I only wanted to make you happy.”
Cullen slumped against a wall. “Happiness is wasted upon me.”
“Don’t you dare. I won’t abide by it.”
“No, Josephine. Nothing you have done justifies my actions. I hurt her, and the others. Entirely for my own benefit.” He snorted at himself. “And your greatest crime, in comparison, is believing that I could ever act in pursuit of anything other than self-sabotage.”
Something turned in Josephine. She rounded on him, furious.
“No, Cullen, don’t you dare! I will not allow you to wallow in self-pity—especially not for something I caused. Yes, you did wrong, and I did wrong. But it is not too late to make amends!” She strode closer, quietening as she did, but gesturing just as emphatically. “It will take time, and patience—things I know you struggle with. You must be willing to fail… but you must also be willing to try.”
In that moment, it was as if Cullen saw not Josephine stood before him, but Mia. Her words weakened his defences, pierced his heart, and struck him true. He wanted to try. But he didn’t know how. How did one make amends for… this?
Until he realised that he had already been told how. Lady Trevelyan had practically screamed it in his face.
“Perhaps”—he pushed himself to stand—“perhaps I could see the other Ladies?”
Josephine blinked, and she was right to. He was never this easy to get through to normally. “What?”
“I’d like to apologise to them,” he said. “Myself.”
The problem, at its core, was that Cullen did not desire some fawning noble. He wanted for a woman who would truly know him, all his facets and flaws. Who would judge him, accordingly. Who would challenge him, if necessary. Who would understand him, with complexity.
But for a man who cared so much about being known, he had certainly not extended the same courtesy to the Ladies. What little he knew of them was that the Baroness was the leader of Val Misrenne, Lady Samient was the daughter of some Duke, and Lady Erridge talked more of some other Lady than herself—which was impressive, considering how much she talked.
He saw Lady Trevelyan as different to them. She saw herself as no different at all. To insult them, was to insult her. To remedy that insult against her, he had to remedy the insult against them first.
Josephine grimaced. “That… may be difficult. They are aware of the truth. I cannot imagine they shall wish to see you.”
But that would not deter him now: “Could you at least ask?”
“Of course—I will try.”
Satisfied, he settled at his desk, and began to sort through the clutter. It was covered with documents and reports, incongruous and many. Abandoned, so readily, to see… her. Perhaps Josephine had a point.
“Cullen,” she said, “I am so sorry for putting you in this position.”
He shook his head. “I appreciate your friendship, Josephine.”
She smiled. “And I yours. I will see that you are not bothered, this evening.”
He thanked her, and she bid him farewell. He waited til she was truly gone, and then wandered to his window. The keep lay beyond, its walls concealing a sombre secret. That Lady Trevelyan was somewhere within, hurt and crying—because of him.
He would put it right. But not for himself.
#unwanted#unwanted fic#unwanted addendums#sorry this took a while! as i've said keeping up with both updates and addendums is a balancing act#fortunately i hit some easy chapters to edit (the quality definitely improves as it goes huh?) so i had time to write addendums#next one coming shortly and then we should keep up with the ao3 updates#i am also considering writing a new version of the epilogue because having read the story again i thought of a more fitting epilogue#though the current epilogue would remain canon to unwanted and would instead be a bonus chapter#i am to get all this wrapped up by october 31st so wish me luck
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Sable pic spam bc I'm ridiculously attached to this buggy game
#never encountered this many bugs in one place before but fuck if it doesn't make it more delightful at times#personally I think Sable and teen Aloy would get along quite well even if they had entirely different experiences growing up#actually give me canon age Sable with kid Loy meeting Guard Eliisabet#yes I'm delusional why do you ask#lou plays#Sable#Sable game#fishing msy or may not be broken for me at this point rip. the last three times I tried my game just quit reacting to inputs#couldn't even enter the menu to quit out properly#and between when I saved yesterday after playing and starting up again today it just yeeted the last bit of progress#still not sure what all I lost and if I've managed to get it all back. not sure what will happen next time I play either#if I keep losing progress it may just ruin the fun a little even if I have managed to get almost all the trophies by now#anyway. 100/10 from me even if it's borderline unplayable sometimes. the rest of the time I love it to the ends of the earth#music is great. npcs are wonderful. story and lore are dope. protagonist is a relatable kiddo who you can't help but adore#(and relate to) and the hoverbike is my new child who I will cherish forever#also: the art. but that probably goes without saying. unless you don't like this style in which case I feel bad for you#bc you're missing out#but yeah. don't play unless you don't mind bugs fucking up your progress or geometry and textures going wrong at times#still think they should be working on fixing that mess but alas.. I doubt we'll get any updates of that sort#sometimes if you play too long the audio just.. leaves. as do the pick up / dialogue prompts#sometimes they don't show up even if you have only been playing a little while#some plants have dialogue prompts except they don't do anything. the bucket side quest or whatever got scrapped#but the buckets all still have pickup prompts... anyway. it's a mess. but a lovable one
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