#will i beat this mode? probably not i'm not that good at video games

[mentalmeles]

Me, still in the middle of my BG3 replay with Calliope, suddenly getting the urge to retry a Dark Urge playthrough

BUT ☝️ I do it on Honour Mode

[sprunki-hcs]

I don't think that horror mode ACTUALLY actually happened. It was just a series of nightmares that everyone remembers as if it happened in the real world.

For context, the whole cast lives in a HUUUUUGE house owned by Wenda and Black caused the nightmares. Note that they are unable to die in the nightmares.

Wenda is from a SUPER wealthy family and inherited the mansion from a distant relative who included her in his/her will for whatever reason. So here she is with this HUGE house with like 15 vacant rooms. Of course, she's lonely (but that's because she is a serious jerk.) so she rents out the rooms for MUCH LOWER than how much rent usually is for a tiny apartment. Little does she know, there's an old basement dwelling spirit who does nothing but watch TV all day (Black) living in the mansion.

So for starters, Wenda is really snobby and just a passive aggressive jerk to everyone. Which is why she has no friends. She was basically like "hey I'm renting out these rooms in my mansion for like 300 bucks a month PLEASE I'M SO LONELY!" In horror mode (nightmare) she took her anger out on everyone cuz she knew she was dreaming and pretty much became mad with power.

Grey is just some dog who takes pictures at really awkward angles and posts them to Myspace. He's usually just quiet when he's home. But when he's at a show he's a different story. He "survived" the nightmares because he hid in the basement the entire time.

Garnold is a HUGE robotics geek and a big music producer as well. Like, making Fun Bot with Clukr was their Magnum Opus. They also programmed Fun 'Puter using an old monitor they found at a thrift store. They eventually built a suit for themself, making a sort of mechanism so they can lift heavy stuff without many issues. When they go to events with Simon, everyone is impressed by their suit. In the nightmare, said strength mechanism went haywire and crushed them in their suit.

Clukr is the "maid" of the house. He cleans up everything because nobody else does a good enough job according to him. He is OBSESSED with routine, so everyone thought it would be a good idea to let him do planning for the constant parties being held at the mansion. It was in fact, NOT a good idea. He's stressed all of the time but he's such a people pleaser, too. He has a slight (and by slight I mean HUGE) crush on Garnold. In the nightmares, he found Garnold frozen stiff on a hill, and when he went to check on them, a piece of their suit flung right into his head.

Raddy is SUPER, SUPER hateful. He hates Jevin and Tunner and misgenders Garnold and Sky constantly. If he's not playing video games in the basement, he's at the gym. In the nightmares, he was subject to a mob beating after he called Brud the r-bomb.

Oren is just... An alien dude I guess. He watches "indie" films, listens to "indie" music, and has anything with "indie" in the name. He goes to the skatepark with Grey and teaches him how to skate. He and Simon share a room, and of course, there is roommate drama. In the nightmares, he just got messed up by Wenda for some petty reason.

Simon is ALSO an alien guy. He goes to a TON of raves and has flyers strewn across his wall. Oren complains about him leaving dead glowsticks all over the floor but he's like, "whatever." He's super nice and gives out bracelets to everyone. In the nightmares, he got "corrupted." He can't see, but he can sense who is around him.

OWAKCX is some humanoid thing. His room resembles that of the inside of a rusty trailer. Sucks that Clukr's room is right next door to this guy. He is probably on everything you can think of on the top of your head. He actually got into rehab once, but they kicked him out because he was being super creepy to everyone around him. He also cheats on Vineria. A lot. In the nightmares he was partially skinned by Wenda (by Vineria's request.)

Speaking of Vineria, she's also humanoid-ish. She's super connected with nature, and has a full on greenhouse going on in her room. She has an elitist attitude when it comes to using all-organic stuff, and she even told of Pinki for wearing makeup once. Her nightmare version was caused by a corruption. She can't see, but unlike Simon, she can't sense people or objects around her.

Sky is a runaway who found the mansion after taking a bus to who knows where. Tunner opened the door to them and was like, "WENDY (sic), WE GOT ANOTHER CHILD!" They used to live with their SUPER unsupportive parents and decided to run away after they overheard them sending them to camp. After about two years of living at the mansion, Garnold and Clukr pretty much became their parental figures. In the nightmare, Sky was trying to defend themself against Wenda and a whole bunch of sharp pipes fell on them.

Jevin is a humanoid-type thing. He bottles up his emotions a lot and barely lets them show. He has industrial metal posters hung up in his room, but under his bed is a different story. He has a bunch of vintage Barbies and a pride flag under it. He keeps it secret because of Raddy's constant hostility towards him as well as the fact he wants to keep up his spooky/dark image. He "survived" the nightmares cuz instead of hurting him physically, Wenda decided to mess with him mentally. I'll explain this when I get to Tunner.

Durple is just your average fast-food drone who hates his life. He's also a water-dragon of some sort. He can breathe underwater so he has to clean up the pool despite him stating several times that he can't breathe in water that is full of chlorine. He also does dares and is MESSED UP after every party hosted at the mansion. He got corrupted in the nightmares. The following morning, he would slowly type, "Dream of.... Jaw... Being dislocated....... Meaning."

Pinki is a SUUUUUPER girly girl. She hosts tea parties all of the time and knows where to get the best party decorations! She's also a good baker and the designated cook of the house. She's also amazing at sewing (though Vineria is better than her), and made Kevin's cloak. In the nightmare, her face was ripped off by Wenda because she was jealous of her relationship status, as well as her beauty.

Tunner is a lizard-type guy who just keeps everyone from danger. He bottles up like Jevin, but he isn't afraid to show his anger, especially against Raddy. He also complains about people having too much screen time despite him being on level 9264 of Candy Crush LOL. He also gets everyone's names wrong (he called Jevin "Kevin" when they first met. He even called Durple "Spyro" once.) He was shot by his own gun in the nightmare. Wenda just thought his accent (which was kind of exaggerated) annoying and he was like "WENDY WHY IS THE SKY RED" and shot him. She then thought of Jevin (hurting him physically would do nothing.) and decided to drag Tunner's almost-corpse over to Jevin just to mess with him.

Fun Bot and Fun-Puter were unscathed but traumatized, despite not having the brains to actually have dreams. Not even Garnold knows how they were able to recall events from the nightmares.

Sooooo.... How did the nightmares happen in the first place? When Sky first moved in, they wanted to live in the basement for some reason. When they were moving their stuff downstairs they found Black with its face taped to the TV watching the series finale to the universe-equivalent of "The Young and the Restless". And Black got distracted by Sky RIGHT when the big twist ending happened, and it got REALLY mad about it. So as punishment they subjected all of the residents to 14 nights of nightmares.

Feel free to ask questions about these hcs, I'll gladly answer them with a reblog.

I'm also sorry that this is super long.

-PPK 🌈💚

read all of them and they were all FIRE 💜

[love-killed-the-superstar]

mikey ask game, 8 and 13!

(these answers will be about 2k3 mikey unless stated otherwise because he's ~my~ mikey. i apologise for the length of these answers, it seems i had a lot to say?! i also apologise for how much i bring up fast forward here, it seems that i'm fixated on it really hard right now.)

8. what’s your favorite dynamic of him and any other character? what makes it your favorite?

It's so hard to pick just one!!

i thought a lot about this, but i think splinter? he's exasperated that his son can be a bit lazy and distracted from ninja training, but still had him specialise in nunchaku, showing that he believes in his ability to master a difficult weapon. splinter surrendering in the battle nexus so that mikey could advance was so heartwarming and honestly makes me emotional to remember. in the first turtle titan episode even though he doesn't understand why mikey admires superheroes so much he acknowledges that his intentions are noble and he needs to follow the path truest to his heart. veering a little more into headcanon territory, i do think that being the most openly affectionate, baby mikey was a master manipulator in terms of melting his rat dad's heart. i can picture him climbing onto splinter's lap every time he sits down and being the most reluctant to go down for naps. and in a particular au i'm cultivating that delves more into mikey's potential romantic life, i think he would go to his father for advice. splinter may not be well versed in romance outside of his soap operas, but he will always be here for his kids when they need him.

(this, of course, makes me very bitter over the flanderisation of their relationship in fast forward. ff!splinter might as well walk around wearing a shirt that says "i hate my lazy video game addicted son" and it breaks my heart.)

honourable mentions for other characters i think he has a great dynamic with: leo, silver sentry, klunk, serling, angel, april, renet and turtle titan ii.

13. what’s something about mikey that nobody seems to talk about that should be talked about more?

tbh i think a lot of people love mikey and have analysed him in just about every way possible and what i end up saying is probably not the most groundbreaking take, but here is something that i've thought about a fair bit but haven't really seen from anyone else?

in fast forward, mikey is depressed. it is handled by the narrative about as delicately as a bull in a china shop, but it's there.

5 seasons of being bombarded with trauma-inducing storylines culminates in temporarily dying, going full dragon avatar mode to defeat the demon shredder and then finally they are able to relax, breathe easy, process some of these emotions - but noooo, instead they get ripped out of their timeline and dropped 100 years in the future with no way home and the studio execs wouldnt let them rightfully lose their shit at cody so instead we see the turtles bottle that rage and slowly descend into semi-flanderised madness. /lh

mikey in particular becomes very sensitive to rejection (see: losing his goddamn mind and going on an all out offensive against turtle titan ii, after being talked down the first time he raged out, because raph made One Comment about how his successor is better at heroism than he is), prone to emotional outbursts, especially anger (remember that iconic clip of him beating up cops and stealing their cars because they pissed him off?), loses interest in his ninja training, maintains very poor hygiene/living conditions, grows addicted to video games, and in rare moments of vulnerability (namely in graduation day of 2105) he expresses that he sees himself as lazy, unfocused, a 'goofball', and undeserving when it comes to being recognised for his ninja skills like his brothers. my man's self-esteem is in the toilet, he is craving normalcy after years of constantly fighting for his life, and his dopamine is clearly critically low because he is dependent on all the fancy material goods of 2105 to be happy. his method of coping with the difficult emotions being stranded in the future has brought up, while still maintaining the silly funny guy routine that his family expect from him, is to bury himself in VR. and why wouldn't he, when among the uptick in mikey roasts over the course of this season we literally hear splinter say the words "where did i go wrong with that boy?" THOSE WORDS STAY WITH YOU WHEN THEY COME FROM YOUR PARENTS. THEY HURT.

he's very empathetic to leo's own depression in season 4, being the voice of reason at the beginning of samurai tourist when raph is ready to fight him. we also see at several points in seasons 1-5 that his loud ego is a front and he is actually very aware of his shortcomings, especially seen in grudge match. in a different timeline where 2k3 wasn't neutered following insane in the membrane, i do wonder if the turtles would have been able to explore their turbulent feelings regarding the 2105 situation. since mikey and leo are often paired up for adventures in 2k3, it would be an interesting parallel to see leo recognising signs of depression in his brother and helping him, imparting some of ancient one's wisdom (and, in the great year of 2105 where mutants are equal citizens and cody has money to burn, finding him a good cognitive behavioural therapist).

i don't think the writers INTENDED to code mikey as depressed / struggling to cope in season 6 - i think it was a toxic combo of writing more 'mikey is lazy/immature/irresponsible and needs to be taught a lesson' episodes than the usual season average + thinking it was a funny social commentary gag to make him obsessive over video games. but i saw a lot of those traits in myself when i was deep in a depression hole. the show has already told us that the turtles' mental states have been impacted by the ridiculousness they have gone through. why would mikey be any different?

I DIDN'T MEAN TO WRITE AN ENTIRE THINKPIECE, BUT IF YOU REACHED THE END, THANK YOU FOR READING. AND THANK YOU FOR THE ASKS!

[otakween]

Digimon Battle Spirit 2 - Final Thoughts

This game was so FUN!! I liked it a lot more than the first installment of Battle Spirit even though the games were very similar. They just added a bunch of little touches to this sequel that upped replayability big time. I still only beat it twice (and on easy mode teehee) but I can see myself revisiting this one in the future :)

Notes:

I'm glad Frontier got a couple video game tie-ins despite the fact that it wasn't very popular. I think the quality of this game actually improved my opinion on Frontier somewhat. The sprites were so charming and each character's attack style was so anime-faithful. Very immersive for fans of the show.

There were digimon I didn't recognize in this? Who the heck is this rainbow one? This isn't the kind of game where you get digimon names on screen, so I was just like -shrug-

This was my first time testing out RetroAchievements and I think it's really neat. Here is me getting an achievement for beating the Shooter game:

I've given up on 100%-ing games but I'll definitely continue to use this feature just for fun!

I loved the little animation I got when I unlocked Lowemon of him jumping onto the character select screen, that was awesome.

I played as Chackmon and Fairymon, my two fave Frontier digimon and they both had such distinct play styles. I think I liked Chackmon's attacks more (it was really fun to perform icicle lala and freeze people by turning into stalagmites) but Fairymon was good for defeating Cherubimon because she could jump (fly) really high.

Even though it would be very annoying, I kinda wish this game had voice lines. I was mentally shouting "Brezzo petalo!!" when playing as Fairymon lol

There's a hacky way to win by hanging out in corners and stun locking your opponent, but I tried not to overuse that. It would be good for getting really high scores if I cared about that.

Speaking of scores, the tamer tags are such a good addition to increase replayability. You can get different tags based on the difficulty you play at and your final score. I can't be bothered, but if I was a kid with ample free time, it would be fun to try to unlock them all.

The shooter mini game was so fun! It was basically Digimon billiards. Of course, it was a lot easier to beat with save states because I lost many times lol. Fairymon kept launching me off the side of the board. It was funny to see the NPCs sometimes accidentally slide out of bounds and the digivolution mechanic was clever. This is the kinda casual game I could see myself playing just to kill time (like pinball or solitaire).

This game had way fewer digimon to play as/unlock? They probably only wanted to include digimon with human forms (I guess they could have borrowed Tamers characters for that). I could see this being a downside for some, but I was relieved. I unlocked Lowemon and had all the digimon just like that ;)

Cherubimon was very similar to Millenniumon, seemingly really hard at first, but you just need to learn the pattern. It was a little tedious still though because you had to get every move right. Not a battle you can zone out to lol. All the animations during and after the fight were very well done.

[madhogthymaster]

Master Recs: The "N64" Trilogy (2023)

Pseudoregalia

Let us muse over a very small, three-dimensional Metroidvania game stylistically fashioned after the Nintendo 64 era of graphical fidelity. It stars a deliciously polygonal rabbit-y, goat-y, cat-like girl.

Now, I am playing this on the fabled Steam Deck. It runs and controls smoothly on the platform but you might require to fiddle with the video settings as the default configuration is slightly blurry due to a very specific and fascinating reason. It turns out Pseudoregalia vaunts a certain level of depth in its technical customization, one that's surprisingly fun to manipulate. There's an option to toggle on or off a retro graphical scale and character movement rate, which graciously emulate the old school console experience. You can also manually reduce or augment the maximum framerate for the whole game. You could theoretically play something that looks like a 30 fps 3D Platformer from 1997 or the most HD upscaled version thereof at 144 fps, or everything in between! The default, blurry configuration comes as a result of the aforementioned retro scaling clashing with the 4K resolution in full screen mode. This is the first and last time in recorded human history that I will ever be this enamoured with "specs talk."

The point is, we have a darling gem with a cultivated aesthetic, a good level of polish: it will look "right" regardless of your favoured settings. I'm impressed by the extra layer of work placed in the subtle use of limited framerates for the character's movement.

Pseudoregalia captures the idea, the abstract concept and low-poly charm of a N64 title with a gameplay that recalls your memory of it, rather than the unwieldy reality. I say this as someone who doesn't have nostalgia for early 3D graphics: the game makes them look spiffy.

I shall be honest, this is normally not the sort of title I would enjoy playing, as precise platforming and traversal puzzles are my nemesis. I mentioned afore the level of polish, which is generally consistent, but some of the movement upgrades you get (such as the jump/wall kick) can be rather finicky to master. In that sense, be wary that the game does not openly provide you with tutorials for the moves that require more finesse, choosing instead to hide an additional set of instructions in the inventory descriptions. It's "old school", you see. Older versions were bereft of maps thus making exploration a burden for those like me who are directionally challenged - both in games and in real life. Regardless, I kept getting drawn by its world, its somber atmosphere, its tight gameplay and especially its protagonist, Sybil.

An appealing design for your avatars goes a long way in ensuring an emotional connection to them and Sybil just so happens to have one of the most striking and instantly recognizable appearances I can fathom. It's a pleasure to look at her go! Furthermore, I would posit that she has a lot in common with my precious videogame fluffy boy, Klonoa - and I do I mean, a lot. I will not elaborate. If you get it, you get it. In conclusion, Pseudoregalia is an impressively put together jam. It's easy to pick up yet punishing to handle, it's fun and fascinating in spite of its more irritating aspects. The best overall critique I can give it is that it made me want to keep trying, and trying, and trying, until I eventually became good enough to complete it several times and even beat the insanely hard Time Attacks. In short: game is good. Play it.

---

Corn Kidz 64

If I had a nickel for every time a throwback 3D Platform game starring a cute goat-like creature managed to grab my attention, I would have a whopping three nickels! Anyway, here is Corn Kidz 64, an artistically verosimile homage to the Rareware games you probably remember.

Deliciously stylized polygons welcome both you and I into a quirky mindscape. You play as a rude little prick named Seve who's having a vivid nachos related dream but has to contend with various bollocks - as it's often the case.

If you are even marginally familiar with all the Kanjo-Bazooies and Konkey Dongs out there then you will recognize its sphere of influences right away. It's a proper tribute to that era of gaming up to the inclusion of the "correct" low video resolution settings and insane completion requirements. There is much puzzling and platforming to be had, tactical traversal and secrets-within-secrets to bamboozle and titillate your gamer's lizard brain. Genre freaks will feel very welcome here.

I will say that I find the character design especially pleasing. Aesthetically, I would place it somewhere in between Rayman. Belgian comic book artist André Franquin and web strips from twenty years ago or more. It's expressive, to say the least.

As a sign of good will from the game's part, this is the track that greets you as you plunge into the realm of your dreams of childhood:

Corn Kidz 64 is a short, fun experience, bedazzled by tight controls, surreal atmosphere and "Early Internet" humour. It does not overstate its welcome and only occasionally gets immensely frustrating. Its dedication to the N64 ethos is both a boon and a detriment, in that sense. Let me put it this way: I shall not be doing a 110% completion run any time soon.

---

Cavern of Dreams

As a direct result of me wanting more, here is Cavern of Dreams. Yet another N64 aesthetically driven title that came out last year but was promptly overshadowed by Funny Goat Game and Sexy Goat Game - as far as my own pop cultural myopia is concerned, that is.

It is a small yet multilayered Collect-A-Thon with an emphasis on exploration rather than combat or complex platforming. There is no health bar and there are no traditional enemies. There is a handful of puzzles here and there, some of which might be legitimate head scratchers. The dragon baby is cute. I do have a couple of gripes with this one.

Playing this game is, in a word, annoying. It is bothersome how weighted and limited the movement is, it is fastidious how the character collision is in relation to the environment, it is aggravating how it all affects the gameplay in small yet noticeable ways. Here's an example: you can use the traditional ground pound to gain extra height. However, in order to do so, you have to keep pressing the attack button while in midair. The problem with that is the game still registers it as an attack when you do so. As such, if you happen to be hugging a wall, atop a small ledge, this action will inevitably cause your character to hit said wall and propel you backwards, resulting in you falling to your doom. This happened constantly. Generally speaking, the control scheme doesn't feel ideally tailored to an experience that requires precise platforming. A repeated offender would be grabbing onto climbable ropes. Which is to say, sometimes it just doesn't happen. You'll float towards a rope and, if the collision isn't pixel-perfect, you will miss it entirely. Also, Baby is unable to jump above once he climbs all the way to the top, half the time. The later levels are worse in that regard as they need some amount of skill.

Speaking of which, something that will always make me consider quitting a game in a fit of rage is being sucked down a drain that expels me into a different area, forcing me to walk all the way back to where I was before. Once again, annoying is the word.

All that said, the saving grace of Cavern of Dreams lies in the exquisitely crafted, imaginative stages that compose the dreamlike tapestry of the game's aesthetics: living airborne vessels, desolate ice kingdoms, nightmarish art galleries that twist and distort your senses.

The use of colour hues, sounds and deliberately non-contiguous spaces create this palpable atmosphere of both wonder and anxiety. A welcoming world may turn weird and alienating. A dream may turn into a nightmare. There is a depth beneath the surface presentation that is absolutely worth experiencing. I really wanted to like this game but, alas, I'm left with mostly mixed feelings. Regardless, it's an adorable title with some tinges of darkness and it might just be for you!

---

As a conclusive note, I find myself enthralled by the subtle similarities these games share as well as their abundant differences. All of them are stylistically reminiscent of a specific bygone era whilst being perfectly distinct in presentation, and they all are about Dreams...

They are about exploring dreamscapes, lands where subconscious thoughts and memories materialize in daunting vistas of a forlorn past, comically bizarre hyper-realities from an active imagination or an infant's idea of the world around itself. Pondering about the familiarity of it all fills me both with comfort and melancholy: the parallelism of Dream, Childhood and Gaming. The distant memories of youth in correlation to the experience of videogame escapism are akin to a dream from which we are expected to wake... Well, now I just want to gush about Klonoa again!

In fact, I would go as far as to say that Corn Kidz 64's "plot resolution" feels like a direct parody of Door to Phantomile's ending, and it gets funnier the more I think about it.

---

A/N:

Thank you for reading.

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[thessalian]

Thess vs the Betrayer of Felassan

I ... don't think I was supposed to do that yet.

Look, one of my things when I play basically any game that involves a fast travel system is to go a little out of my way when I'm travelling to a quest point in basically any area, so I can pick up useful fast travel points for later. The end result is generally not only making later area traversal easier, but ending up overlevelled right to hell for basically everything. Which is about what I need most of the time, especially these days. Anyway, end result was that I tripped over Desmal in Treviso at, like, level ten or something (which is hilarious when you consider that the walkthrough I read later when trying to figure out what the fuck I just did said something about waiting until level twenty, but that's the beauty of Storyteller mode) and ended up being able to unlock the Gate of Deep Sorrows. So I decided to make a detour in the Crossroads and get that off my quest list. That seemed like a good idea.

However, taking on what I later discovered was a level 30 boss at level 14 was ... probably ill-advised. In my defense, I had no idea what I was chasing down and what level we were looking at. Then again, I probably should have had an idea that I was out of my depth when the "trash mobs" were conning level 24. But by that point, I thought, "I'm on Storyteller mode; how bad could this be?"

Here's how bad that could be:

Massive health bar

Armour that needed to be chipped away first

Shield so head-on attacks were generally useless

Strong against ice and I brought Neve

Ranged attacks

Unblockable attacks

UNBLOCKABLE RANGED ATTACKS

Adds - again, with ranged attacks

All of these literally follow Rook around the arena

AoE damage in places

The arena is not large and it's easy to dodge right into a corner and get pummelled

REGENERATING HEALTH. TWICE

And, best of all, his health regen involved an arena-wide unblockable knock-down attack. TWICE

AND THIS WAS ON STORYTELLER MODE

I haven't had a fight like that since I stopped playing MMOs. I started that fight with one health potion, and I was pretty sure I was going to die. However, apparently that whole thing about dealing with fights like this in MMOs have taught me a few things - or at the very least the bloody-minded stubbornness to be, "NO. WE ARE NOT WIPING OR RUNNING. HOLD MY BEER".

(Or, well, coffee mug.)

On the bright side, this did teach me a few things. I learn best by doing, and - in video games, at least - better still out of sheer desperation. So I figured out a fair few things I probably should have sooner. Like ... Harding's healing mechanic. Swapping weapons and why it's a good idea. Charged attacks. How to dodge in a specific direction instead of just hitting space and hoping to get lucky. How to make your companions drop a combo on a motherfucker. How to swap weapons for best advantage in terms of what an enemy's weak to. And even how to do that "Press E To Commit Mortal Kombat-Style FATALITY" thing (granted, that was one of the adds, but still). And in the end, with zero health potions, everything on cool-down, and about two-thirds health, I beat the motherfucker.

You have no idea how much my arms hurt. Everything from the shoulders down. And across my upper back. So much tension and button-mashing and AAAAAAAAA. Yeah. See, this is why I thought I was going to have problems playing this game. But at least fights like that are only once in awhile, and I can see them coming now. And who knows? Maybe the things I learned in the process of that will make other fights easier.

For now, though, quick trip to the corner shop because I think I deserve cola. And possibly chocolate. Hopefully the ibuprofen will have kicked in by the time I get back, but I'm going to wander a bit more around Minrathous either way. Either the ibuprofen will have kicked in and I'll feel better, or it won't have had much effect and I'll hyperfocus past it by running around Minrathous with Neve.

It occurs to me that Varric must have met Neve and gone, "You literally stepped out of one of my novels, didn't you?"

[lividria]

Funny Story: Celeste

So, I've mentioned in a couple previous posts that I'm transfem, right? Well, one time, another trans girl joined a Discord I'm in, and I don't remember what led up to it, but they had DMed me asking if I had played Celeste, saying that they "thought you had to play it to be trans"? They then said that was a joke and said some other stuff I forgot and I'm too lazy to find the exchange, but the entire thing was weird, alienating and uncomfortable, and it's stuck with me ever since because of it, even if that person basically never said anything ever again anywhere after that.

So, last night, when I was looking on the XBox Game Pass because I apparently misremembered Shovel Knight as being on there and wanting to try that only to be disappointed, I stumble upon Celeste... And I figured, why the hell not perform the apparent rite of passage? I've already embraced the double jump joke. So I did it tonight, since I had a few hours.

If this is the game you have to have played to be trans, then I am terrified of what every other trans person is capable of, because this game beat my ass HARD. I joke about being bad at video games, some of my friends tease me for being bad at video games, but I don't think I've ever been hit this badly. I had to use Assist Mode basically the whole way through, and I died like 93 times on Chapter 1. I later died 100+ times to Chapter 3 too, and by the end had racked up 387 total. This is probably the most infuriating gameplay I've ever experienced, besides for maybe that one stupid Sonic Frontiers minigame with herding the rock Chao, that's probably still worse, actually. Even with infinite dashes and invincibility (Though I only turned that on at Chapter 5), I was getting kicked around left and right.

My main takeaway from the game besides the confirmation that I'm not a masochist is that there's probably an issue with myself I need to address if the only character I didn't find unlikable for most of the game and the only reasonable one of the cast was Badeline, the literal manifestation of self-doubt and anxiety. The entire time I was basically saying to the screen that she was right. That's probably not a good thing.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

About Me: Favorite Video Games

So you may not know this, but I’m a gamer. Shocking, right? Who’d ever have guessed it? But to be totally fair here, I rarely talk about video games on Tumblr. I talk about movies, and there have been a handful of times where I reviewed video games, but I focused more on the story, characters, and all that then I did on whether or not the gameplay was good. In my earliest days, before I found my niche, I talked about games a fair deal, but that fell by the wayside so I could focus on films (my true passion).

So hey, look at this! You’re all going to get to see what my favorite video games are now! Remember, everything here is just my personal opinions; I'm not trying to give actual reviews of each of these games in a couple of sentences or trying to sell you on them, I'm talking about the stuff in them that makes me love them. All of this is my subjective opinion, and I'm not asking you to agree with me here, I'm just trying to talk about stuff that I love.

Oh, and here are some honorable mentions: Super Mario Bros. 3, Banjo-Kazooie (I still haven’t finished it and I don’t want to include games I haven’t played through), Kid Icarus: Uprising, Bayonetta 2, Injustice 2, BioShock, Doom Eternal, Super Metroid, Dragon Age II, God of War II, Castlevania: Aria/Dawn of Sorrow, The Wolf Among Us, The Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando/Up Your Arsenal, and Heritage for the Future. Also a shout out to Tell Me Why and Life is Strange, games I watched my wife play and loved the story of but that I didn’t actually play myself; the former in particular has all sorts of elements I love in my stories.

Now, without further ado, here’s my top 50! Oh, and only the top 30 have pictures because there's image limits on posts! What a load of BS!

50. Animal Crossing: New Horizons

Ok, maybe this game is lacking in a few areas at the expense of its massive customization system… but boy howdy what a system it is! I cannot tell you how much time I’ve sunk into decorating my island, reorganizing my villagers, and just making all sorts of weird themed areas. It’s a lot of fun, and I get to do all this work while hanging with a bunch of weird, cute animals.

49. JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure All-Star Battle R

The original game was a lot of fun, but even I’ll admit it felt like it was missing something. That something was probably Foo Fighter, but guess what? She’s in the updated rerelease, along with aslew of other new characters like my favorite minor antagonist Mariah and the bane of Heritage for the Future players, Pet Shop! Add onto that a much better campaign mode with some fun little AU shenanigan matches and you have the most loving fighting game tribute to JJBA imaginable! Now if only they’d give Part 8 a little more love...

48. Batman: Arkham Origins

This is the redheaded stepchild of the Arkham series, and on some level I get why. It is very much aping City, right down to the map despite their being some expansions here and there, and the combat is much more of the same with little in the way of evolution, and don’t get me started on the fucking Joker showing up again. But this game also features some of the best bosses in the series such as Firefly and especially Deathstroke, a Bane who isn’t just a mindless mass of muscles like in the other games, and some interesting sidequests that make this early look at Batman’s superheroics a worthwhile entry in my eyes.

47. Miitopia

This is one of the easiest games out there, what with the autopilot combat and minimal difficulty (though there is a big spike late in the game). But the sheer vastness of the facial customization means that literally anyone from all of art or history can take part in a wacky, cliché RPG adventure. Hank Hill can fight the evil overlord Seth MacFarlane with a crew consisting of Chowder, Thor, and Japanese comedian/director/actor Beat Takeshi. If that’s not worth the price of admission, I don’t know what is.

46. Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin

The DS is where Castlevania truly shined, and my favorite of all the handheld entries is this portrait-hopping journey to defeat a mad artist and his evil vampire children. The locations are pretty great, there’s tons of sidequests and alternate game modes (my favorite is the one where you play as the Old Axe Armor), and there’s an awesome brutal bonus dungeon where you get to fight the bosses from Dawn of Sorrow without the stupid drawing bullshit!

45. Maximo vs. Army of Zin

The original game was a fun, yet very flawed action platformer. This game veers more into the hack-and-slash genre to great effect; it’s not the deepest combat ever, but it’s a lot of fun, with much better platform, bosses, and story than the first game. There’s just something cool about a world that mixes Gothic horror, steampunk, and other fantasy elements together all in one place.

44. God Hand

This is one of the most deceptive games you’ll ever come across. On the surface, it might seem like an ugly beat-em-up, but it’s so much more than that. The bosses are brutal yet fantastic, the music is fucking incredible, and the humor is just the right level of absurd to be incredibly charming. It’s ball-bustingly difficult, but let me tell you, when you finally overcome a fight or a boss battle that’s been giving you trouble? It is literally the best feeling in the world.

43. South Park: The Stick of Truth

‘Member when South Park was funny? I ‘member. And The Stick of Truth really brings back all those memories because this is a hilarious and loving tribute to the series made with the help of Trey Parker and Matt Stone to deliver the playable South Park experience of your dreams. It’s gross, immature, raunchy, and funny, and best of all it doesn’t get too preachy or up its own ass with messages—no, it gets up Mr. Slave’s ass to defuse a bomb. Peak South Park right here, though the gameplay is kind of basic. It’s all carried by that stellar writing.

42. Crash Bandicoot: Twinsanity

This game mainly scores a spot on my list for being fucking hilarious. This is the funniest Crash Bandicoot ever got, with all sorts of wacky gags and clever dialogue. Cortex really is the MVP here, with the constant slapstick that befalls him combined with his snarky dialogue making him a standout. It’s a bummer so much was cut from the game, and it does feel a bit incomplete in some areas, but for what it is it’s a damn fun time.

41. Pokemon White/White 2

It was genuinely hard to pick a single game from the series to go on here considering how much I loved Gens III – V. Emerald perfected the generation I first got into the series, LeafGreen is the definitive Kanto experience to me, Platinum polished up Gen IV’s uneven debut and made it incredible, and SoulSilver is a fantastic remake of the first Pokemon game I ever played (Crystal). But I think I have to go with the Gen V games I played as my favorites. They’re fun and challenging, and while the first game has a ridiculously restrictive regional dex and the second has an overreliance on defunct wi-fi features, the fantastic story and fun new Pokemon make up for it. Can’t be too mad at the games that let me make trashy cult classic B-movies with my boy Garbodor, can I?

40. Batman: Arkham Knight

I put off playing this for years, because I wasn’t happy with some of the things I heard about it, such as a lack of traditional boss battles and an overreliance on the Batmobile. These are still problems, but not near as bad as I feared (obviously, since it’s on this list); everything about the gameplay is the series at its peak. The main story is a bit lacking and ends up being a tad too predictable for me to love it as much as the other entries in the series, but the fact it has Professor Pyg and Man-Bat really helps make up for its shortcomings.

39. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

This game is just as silly and clunky as I imagined an older Bethesda game would be, but to my surprise I think it holds up incredibly well even compared to Skyrim. It’s a bit more complex in a lot of areas, but it’s not too daunting. What really strikes me is how this game actually has a really good story; it’s nothing groundbreaking, but when you look at how bad the Civil War plot in Skyrim was it feels like Shakespeare in comparison. Throw in a ton of unique sidequests with interesting plotlines, a gruesome Dark Brotherhood plot, an interesting villain, and Patrick Stewart for all of about five minutes, and I’d almost say I like this more than Skyrim. Almost.

38. Wolfenstein: The New Order

Sure, it doesn’t exactly reinvent the wheel when it comes to FPS games, but does it need to? All I want from a Wolfenstein game is a horde of Nazi motherfuckers to mow down, and guess what this game gives me? What really surprised me was how genuinely cool and likable BJ was. He might be one of my favorite heroes ever after this game. It’s a shame they couldn’t keep this level of polish up in the sequel.

37. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

In a lot of ways, this game is objectively worse than its predecessor. Like the story is ass for sure; I could not give less of a fuck about the Stormcloaks and the Imperials and their stupid civil war if I tried. But the vast world filled with things to do is so much fun to explore, and there’s all sorts of sidequests and shenanigans to get into. This game is pure, stupid fun, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve restarted it just to play as a different race or class. Maybe someday I’ll make it to the final boss. Maybe.

36. Psychonauts

The original Psychonauts is one of the last great platformers, and among them it’s a lot more unique than many of its peers as you’re platforming through the minds of all sorts of wacky characters to help them overcome their issues. Bouncing through the conspiracy theory-addled brain of a disturbed milkman or decimating a city kaiju style inside the mind of a hyper-intelligent mutant lungfish are the kind of off-the-wall ideas this game throws at you, and in my opinion the only thing that could hold it back is if it had a really janky final level that combines meat, circuses, escort missions, and an underwhelming final boss… Oops. Still a great game in my eyes, one that’s 95% perfect.

35. Final Fantasy VI

For a lot of people, this is the best Final Fantasy game, and I definitely see why. It has a truly massive playable roster of unique characters with their own special gimmicks (of which only a handful are actually useful, mind you) and one of the greatest video game villains ever conceived in the mad clown Kefka, plus it is so focused and tightly plotted for the first half of the game. I think that after Kefka takes over the story becomes a lot more aimless and unfocused, but that’s also where the game becomes a lot more fun and challenging too. It’s a bit uneven, but after how hard the opera house scene goes I think it’s allowed to trip a little bit.

34. Dragon Age: Origins

A lot more praise is thrown at this series’ sci-fi sibling Mass Effect, probably because that series is a lot more consistent with how good it is across the board (Andromeda notwithstanding), but I’m much more fond of fantasy settings myself and this game delivers a fantastic one in ways its sequels couldn’t quite manage. This is the only game in the series where I genuinely loved every single party member (especially Leliana) and actively tried to get them the happiest endings possible—yes, even the douchebag anti-villain who joins you if you play your cards right), and the plot is just the right level of epic fantasy cheese seasoned with some delicious side quests. If the dwarf plotline wasn’t such a slog and if Varric was in the game, this would be a lot higher on the list, but this game still holds a special place in my heart.

33. Batman: Arkham Asylum

Our first trip into the Asylum really did kill the notion that licensed games had to be the most obnoxious shovelware schlock imaginable by making a Batman game that actually makes you feel like Batman. Sure, the detective part is a bit minimal here compared to the sequels, but the combat is so fun and refreshing that I’m not too bothered by the lack of crime scene investigations. There’s a clear love for the entire mythos here, and best of all a clear love for the animated series—Hamill and Conroy reprise their roles as Joker and Batman respectively, and Arleen Sorkin gives Harley one last ride before her retirement. It’s a real love letter to the Dark Knight, and it spawned one of the most consistently good video game series around, so I’ll forgive it for having the lamest final boss I’ve ever fought just this once.

32. Kingdom Hearts

What I like about the original game is how it struck such a nice balance in its absurd premise, with it never feeling like the Final Fantasy or Disney elements are really overpowering each other. We have the grandiose, convoluted plots of the former and the magic, whimsy, and awesome villains of the latter combining together into one impressive package. Yeah, a lot of the level designs are dogshit (looking at you, Deep Jungle and Monstro), and some of the stunt casting is really bizarre (Lance Bass as Sephiroth?!) but overall this is a game way better than you’d think by hearing that it’s a game where Mickey Mouse and Cloud Strife exist side by side.

31. Super Mario 64

Mamma mia! It is genuinely impossible for me to not feel nostalgic for this game. So many 3D platformers that came out in its wake took what it did and polished it to absurd degrees, but there’s still something so special about diving back into one of the portraits in Peach’s castle and going through those levels again and again. The music and atmosphere of the game add onto it; every time I play it, I feel like a kid again. It’s just such a charming game.

30. MediEvil

If Tim Burton made a Gothic horror fantasy movie, I imagine it would be something like this game. It really uses the limitations of the PS1’s graphics to the fullest extent, with the jagged polygonal looks of the characters enhancing the experience, and it has such a crazy variety of levels and enemies, from a phantom pirate ship to a crystal cave with a dragon to a village of posessed villagers to an ant hill. Sir Daniel Fortesque is one of my favorite video game protagonists around because of his posthumous journey to live up to the legend fabricated around him.

29. God of War III

Every single one of these games just escalates from the previous one. Oh, you fight the hydra in the opening of the first game? How about you fight through Rhodes and then battle the animated colossus that once stood in its port in the second? And how do you top that for the third game? Beat the ever-loving shit out of Poseidon and gouge his eyes out from his POV. And this game only gets more brutal from there! Titans and gods all fall to Kratos in epic and gory boss battles, but honestly even without that I’d put the game on this list for the simple reason that you get to fucking murder Kevin Sorbo as Hercules.

28. EarthBound

Nintendo’s quirkiest RPG makes the cut, mostly on the basis of how weird and charming it is. At this point I’ve essentially memorized everything you need to do in this game, which is good because if it’s your first time you desperately need a guide or you’ll be fucked. There are points where things get a little too grindy (mostly for Poo’s weapons) but it’s genuinely a game whose charms outweigh any negatives there are. Plus, that final boss battle is something else entirely.

27. The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth

Rebirth and all of its DLC updates took everything great about the original game and polished it into absolute perfection, with so many different item combos you could potentially get and so many bosses and endgames you could encounter. No two runs ever really feel the same, and it’s so satisfying to become so overpowered you nuke the screen every time you attack. The fact there’s a thriving modding community to continually generate new and crazier content also adds to why I have a ridiculous number of hours dumped into this game.

26. Resident Evil VII: Biohazard

This is the first Resident Evil game I ever played and, wow, I sure was missing out all those years! This is one of the most tense survival horror experiences I’ve played through, with a creepy family of hillbilly horrors to avoid as I creep through their ramshackle domicile. It’s fun, creepy, and even a little campy, and it has raised my interest in the rest of the series. Hopefully the game with the giant vampire mommy will live up to how good this one is when I finally get around to playing it.

25. Portal 2

Yes, the puzzles are great, but this game really soars due to its writing. The first game was fun and all, but it was mostly just GLaDOS insulting you the whole time with Chell being an entirely silent protagonist. In this game, we get the lovable idiot Wheatley and the greatest mad scientist ever conceived Cave Johnson to listen to as well, and the way GLaDOS bounces off the former and reacts to the latter help make this game a fun and engaging puzzle-solving adventure.

24. Doom

The legendary FPS series got revitalized after years on the edge of relevancy, and its return is one of the most metal games imaginable. Slaughtering your way through the forces of Hell while heavy metal blares in the background? It really doesn’t get much better than this. While I do think Eternal improved the formula and gameplay in a lot of ways (particularly with the addition of an awesome hub level), I find the original to be way more fun and balanced in terms of difficulty. The lack of Marauders is really what gives it the slightest of edges.

23. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Nobody got left behind for this one. Everyone across the series came back, and then they went and added even more to give us the most ambitious crossover of all time. Ridley, Simon Belmont, Sora, Sephiroth, Kazuya, and more all get to duke it out on the best stages of the series as well as some fresh new ones, and every character plays even better and more balanced than they ever have before. While the single player campaign isn’t quite as exciting as Subspace Emissary from Brawl, it still manages to be a pretty epic quest with fun boss battles. This is just the definitive Smash experience in my opinion.

22. Red Dead Redemption

My daughter has affectionately labeled this game “Horse Movie,” and she’s not wrong. This is a true cowboy experience right here, with lots of gunfights and horse wrangling, and it’s all a blast. The story in particular is really well done, and there’s plenty of fun side quests too. Maybe the gunfights get a bit samey after a while, but it’s an enjoyable open world to explore and is filled with oddities and mysteries galore.

21. Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

The first Metal Gear game to make the list, and easily the most underrated of the bunch. It gets a lot of flak for the missing final episode that would have had Venom fight the young Liquid Snake, and while it does suck that that moment isn’t in the game, the story still feels plenty complete and well-done without it. Venom might be one of the most fascinating characters in the series, and the game has some of the most brutal gutpunches and tearjerking moments in the franchise. Maybe it’s just because I’m predisposed to love Metal Gear, but I loved this game even though I was well aware of what it didn’t have.

20. Final Fantasy VII

Not to be a basic bitch, but this is my favorite Final Fantasy. I mean, the cast is all so cool and fun, the story is great, Sephiroth is an amazing villain, and there’s plenty of obscure and obtuse ways of finding secrets that make a strategy guide practically mandatory if you want the most out of the game. What’s not to love? I think I was mostly surprised by how good the game actually was; it’s always high on lists of the best games ever, and it definitely earns that. The fact that Aerith’s death still made me tear up despite being common knowledge is a testament to just how amazing this Fantasy is.

19. Mother 3

EarthBound coasts by on its fun, lighthearted quirkiness… but what if you took that and applied heaping helpings of darkness and a more solid story? That’s Mother 3, a beautiful tale filled with the same out there humor as its predecessor as well as a lot of more mature and deeper themes than even the original tackled (mind you, Earthbound wasn’t devoid of deeper themes to begin with, so this is saying something). The ending is one of the few times I have openly sobbed while playing a video game. They need to officially release this in the West, because I will buy it day one. Fuck, I’ll pre-order it!

18. Yoshi’s Island

If this game was only one of the most charmingly animated games ever made, that would be enough to earn it at least some respect. But it’s also one of the best platformers in a series that invented the genre, centered around a truly inspired baby-carrying gimmick and featuring all manner of creative boss battles and one of the most earwormy soundtracks ever made. That’s enough to get it a spot on this list, but the fact it solidified Shy Guys as a Mario mainstay and not just a one-shot enemy? That gets it into my top 20.

17. Spyro Reignited Trilogy

It’s kind of cheating since it’s all three games in one package, but it’s my list, I make the rules. I view this as the definitive way to play Spyro; the redesigns are all fantastic (especially Elora) and the fact Tom Kenny is now the lovable purple scamp across all three games is wonderful. They even made the first game more enjoyable and even visually interesting, even though it’s still the weakest link in the series! And as much of a Crash Bandicoot stan as I am, the fact this game allows you to switch between the newly composed arrangements of the songs and the original Copeland tracks is a big W over the Bandicoot remakes only having the new versions of the songs.

16. Metal Gear Rising

This is perhaps the most badass game ever made. The first level has Raiden battling through a war zone and then fighting a RAY singlehandedly, leaping across missiles and slicing it in half while the most fucking awesome metal music blares in the background. The game just decides to get even more insane from there. People have argued against it being canon for years, but these people are stupid. This game is just as insane and politically-charged as the rest of the series, so in my book, it’s fucking canon.

15. Undertale

This game’s time in the spotlight has faded a bit, but that only makes it easier for me to look back on it and say, “Damn, that’s one of the finest games ever made.” It has all the quirkiness of the Mother series with unique combat and a stellar story, a cast of likable characters, and some of the best boss fights I’ve ever been through. Best of all, it’s a game that practically encourages and even rewards you for being nice! I still love it, even after all the discourse and skyrocketing popularity, and nothing will make me budge on that love.

14. Hades

I’m a big fan of Greek mythology, so this is yet another game that would have had to try really hard to make me hate it. Thankfully, all its efforts were put into areas that made me love it instead. While the roguelike gameplay is well done, the writing and story are really the stars here, with fantastic character interactions between desperate god Zagreus, the gods of Olympus, and the various denizens of the underworld really making this game something truly special.

13. Crash Bandicoot 4: It’s About Time

Sometimes this game feels like the designers saw all those articles and reviews comparing the first game to Dark Souls and took it to heart, because some of the levels in this game are absolutely brutal—especially if you’re going for 100% completion. But that same difficulty makes playing through the levels a lot of fun as well; it’s probably the most challenging Crash outing to date. It really polishes and updates the Crash formula for the modern age, and hopefully they expand on this in a future game. If nothing else, it finally lets you play as Dingodile, which is a dream come true.

12. Grand Theft Auto V

It’s wacky. It’s cartoonish. It has a surprisingly good story about three criminals from different walks of life becoming fire-forged friends as they violently work out their emotional issues. There’s just so much to do and so much to see, all sorts of collectibles and side missions, and more black comedy than you can shake a stick at, and all of it is made all the more enjoyable because the main villain protagonists are a likable bunch of nutjobs. Hell, sometimes I just like to hop into a car, put on some tunes, and cruise around until I can cause some mayhem, and the fact that’s just as valid as doing a bunch of story missions really makes me love the game.

11. Silent Hill 2

While the first and third games are good in their own rights, I vastly prefer the psychological horror and the monsters manifesting as living allegories for trauma with heavy and dark symbolism as opposed to the evil cult narrative. Plus, you know, this one has Pyramid Head in it, and his presence makes sense instead of simply being there cuz he’s cool.

10. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Trials & Tribulations

The Ace Attorney series is one of my favorites, and I love just about all the games in it and even the ones I don’t love always have one or two solid cases that keep me coming back. But pound for pound my favorite game in the series is the third one, the one that lets you play as Mia Fey, introduces the callous murderer Dahlia Hawthorne, and has you match wits with the coffee-guzzling prosecutor Godot. Even the filler cases are entertaining, with the one where Phoenix has to get to the bottom of a murder involving his evil doppleganger being wildly amusing (which is more than can be said for that circus case in the second game or cases two through three in the fourth).

9. Live A Live

Few games can boast the sheer variety this game has on display, with levels changing up their style to give everything from standard RPG fair to a prolonged timed puzzle to a fighting game pastiche to an incredibly tense survival horror experience. We also have the precursor to Undertale here in a ninja-themed level where you can spare everyone you come across or otherwise brutally murder them. And while the stories remain relatively simple in every time period you visit, it doesn’t stop them from hitting hard when they need to, like with the fantasy RPG deconstruction that is Oersted’s chapter. This game would easily have switched places with the next game if the final level played a bit more to the game’s strengths, but hey, it’s still good enough to be in the top 10.

8. Chrono Trigger

Square’s other time travel story is definitely the superior one even if it’s a traditional JRPG through and through. Of course, that is because it completely and fully takes advantage of its premise, with actions you take in one time period affecting others in turn, not to mention the vast amount of bonus bosses and sidequests there are to keep the multiple playthroughs to acquire all the endings fresh and fun. I’ve sunk so much time into getting all the endings on the DS version, and I’ve never once been bored even after visiting the Middle Ages or the ruined future world a dozen times.

7. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

There are few games that I love revisiting more than this one. This is Metroidvania at its peak, a perfect blend of action, platforming, and RPG elements into one glorious Gothic horror monster mash package. What’s truly fun with this one is the myriad ways there are to bust the game right open. I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve grinded for hours so that I could dual-wield Crissaegrims and trivialize the Dracula and Galamoth battles.

6. Psychonauts 2

The original Psychonauts is fun and quirky, and is only really held back by a pretty sloppy final level. This game, though? This game is damn near perfect. Nearly every level here is fun and memorable, and the ways Raz has to help each person deal with their mental trauma is a lot more nuanced and tasteful than the original game’s fair-for-its-time takes on dealing with mental illness. The minds of Ford’s old crew as well as Ford himself provide some of the best Psychonauts content to date, and really, who can hate a level that ends with Jack Black as a gay psychic rock star viking performing a musical number to obliterate his own insecurities?

5. Kingdom Hearts II

This is where the Kingdom Hearts franchise peaked, and it’s a high note they’ve yet to reach again. Sure, the tutorial prologue level drags on for quite a long while, but once you get to play as Sora again, ooh boy is this basically the perfect meeting of the worlds of Disney and Square. The Disney worlds are a lot more fleshed out and have twice the plot due to midgame return visits, the combat is more exciting with fun little reaction commands to let you pull off crazy maneuvers, and you get to hang out with Tron and the most based of all Disney heroes, Chicken Little. Best of all, the story manages to strike the perfect balance between being complex and silly without disappearing all the way up its own ass like later entries would.

4. Jak & Daxter: The Precursor Legacy

In my house, there was a legend that I had beaten this game to completion one hundred times. I’m not entirely sure how accurate that is, but considering how often I replayed this growing up it can’t be too far off. This is one of the most gorgeous platformers around, and Naughty Dog’s final shot at a genre they’d perfected with their Crash Bandicoot games. Even all these years later the visuals are breathtaking; I still am in awe at how you can see the entire world from atop Snowy Mountain. Every day I cry because they decided to turn the series into GTA clones instead of continuing to explore the gorgeous fantasy world they created in this game.

3. Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy

The original Crash Bandicoot was the first game I ever played, and the rest of the series were cornerstones of my childhood. Imagine how elated I was when they not only remade the games, but they created the single definitive way to play them! Sure, the soundtrack being redone can be a little hit or miss, but they completely unfucked the brutal difficulty of the first game (and this is even with adding back the ball-bustingly hard “Stormy Ascent” level) and for the most part left the latter two games entirely untouched save a graphical boost and the ability to play as my girl Coco. Playable Coco alone makes this a dream come true.

2. Batman: Arkham City

The Arkham series is one of the most consistently great series, and this is its greatest entry. The titular city is massive, with so many things to do, and the combat and puzzles are polished to perfection. Add in some actual detective work, some truly epic boss battles against iconic Batman villains like Clayface and Mr. Freeze (and also Solomon Grundy, because why the fuck not?), the ability to play as Catwoman, and one of the most shocking and tragic tales the Dark Knight has ever been in, and I’m more than happy to call it my second favorite game ever.

1. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

Of course, there was no hope Arkham City had at overcoming this game. This is Kojima’s magnum opus, not least because the entire rest of the Metal Gear series revolves around the events that transpire in this story. After the mindfuck that was the second game, it’s nice to return to a more coherent story, one detailing how Big Boss came to be the man that Snake fought in Zanzibar Land. Everything in the series sprang forth because of the actions the characters take here, and each subsequent game just makes this one better and better. Every single boss battle is unique and engaging, and the final battle is one of the most heartbreaking moments in all of gaming. I still cry every single time I get to the ending. It's such an amazing game, with a relatively simple yet still strong and convoluted story populated with a Russian madman with inexplicable lightning powers, a spirit medium's ghost, and a man who controls bees. God bless Hideo Kojima, that absolute madman.

[bayoubashsims]

Get to Know You: Sims Style

I was tagged by @goatskickin

And finally, SimFile Share is back online!

What’s your favorite Sims death?

Gosh, I don't know. I've just noticed that ghost pets in The Sims 2 are so cute, though, especially the eyeballs.

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

Both! I need the Maxis Match ones to recreate premade Sims and homes, but Alpha CC makes them more realistic!

Do you cheat your sims weight?

Only when it serves the plot. However, there's some sort of bug in my game probably caused by a bodyshape--the fat adult male often has a fat top but a skinny bottom. As much as I like my pudgy men, sometimes I have to make them skinny again cause I can't tolerate the bug.

Do you move objects?

All the time, just like in real life.

Favorite Mod?

Oh my goodness, there's so many to choose! @sunmoon-starfactory has been life changing. But I guess nothing beats good ol' SimBlender and the clothes changing rack. Staple mods to have!

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

Livin' Large. My 4GB dinosaur computer back then couldn't handle more than House Party.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

aLIVE, clearly.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

Definitely Grandmama Addams. I don't know why, but it's just so satisfying to see her in-game with the shawl.

Have you made a simself?

And my cat!

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

Black. I'm Asian lol

Favorite EA hair?

This one cause it reminds me of the hot guys I had a crush on in the 2000s.

Favorite life stage?

Elders, as expected.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

Mostly a builder. The game crashes too often for me to play it regularly!

Are you a CC creator?

A little bit. Trying to learn meshing but I'm afraid I'm too dumb for it.

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

No squads, but I interact occasionally with @emperorofthedark, @goatskickin, @freezerbunny-sims2 @lilsisterg @funderberkersims @elvisgrace in our posts!

Do you have any sims merch?

lol only my traumas of the crash

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Not really, but I've uploaded videos of my game on my personal channel here.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

Definitely more realistic and based on existing structures and principles. My instincs have gotten better.

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

Oh goodness, there's so many. I love @tvickiesims @jacky93sims @the-sims-of-frogton and @monilisasims

How long have you had Simblr?

I can't remember, but I had an older blog and I was invited to make a SImblr by @whattheskell!

How do you edit your pictures?

I don't lol

What expansion/gamepack is your favorite?

Makin' Magic and Seasons!

[thecloudstan]

Going back to Rufus's GS fight in hard mode, I've seen a lot of YouTube videos to see how other players beat him and I found out that a lot of the videos out there don't showcase Rufus's special move, Ascendant Assault, during the fight. It's really weird because I've only seen ONE video where he uses that move at least twice among the dozens of the videos out there. Guess that's probably 'cause everyone rushes to finish the fight. It's a shame because I love hearing the commentary for Rufus's.

I'll have to poke around for some videos, I haven't watched too many. I am a bit nervous about that fight even though it's so far away (I'm still in Junon, about to enter the undercity and kick things off), but I was planning to go with BlitzZ's method and see how that shakes out. I'm not nearly as decent at gaming, but it seems a solid approach.

(yt video for that tutorial here, if anyone is interested)

I'm assuming Ascendant Assault doesn't get seen much in videos because it's the type of move you want to prevent him from doing, or otherwise whale on him to put him down as quickly as possible. He definitely doesn't get a second to do it in BlitzZ's video either. Kinda hope I don't see it firsthand in my playthrough, either 😂I'm one of those types who will probably never even attempt the game on hard mode, that's more my husband's thing (which he's already done...he has no chill), but good luck to you in yours!

[fan-tav-stic]

A very small part of me wants to do honor mode but i am

1: bad at video games. like i get my shit beat in by BALANCED enemies

and 2: a save scummer... Like if it doesn't go my way i save scum CONSTANTLY. it was one of the only reasons i beat Cazador on Kairius' save actually. If i didn't get good init rolls for at least Shadowheart and Karlach i had 0 chance so i kept loading until they were some of the first few to start the round

I genuinely don't think i'd stand a chance, i'd honestly probably full wipe on the fucking tutorial boss cause i always try for the sword...

but ooooo i wanna try so hard.

i'd probably have to look into good builds first though cause i also have a habit of building on rp rather than actual skill (i barely use Kairius' college of swords shit cause i forget it exists. also i still have no idea how to multiclass. i never figured it out and i probably never will cause I'm to stubborn to look it up cause i fear its really easy and I'm just dumb lol)

[dillweedshole]

I give up. Fuck the Frontiers DLC. I quit.

Final Horizon, the Frontiers DLC, started super nicely, I liked everything about it right up until trial 2. trial 3 was fine, 4 was fine too so my hopes were back up. then the master trial hit, and now i'm at the boss, and now it's just bad to me.

here's the thing: I would love if the mechanics were refined and fixed up, the difficulty would 100% be tolerable. I did Doom Eternal's Ultra Nightmare mode, I did Dead Space 2's Hardcore mode, I GOT 106% IN CRASH FUCKING 4. I am TOTALLY FINE with difficulty (especially when it gives you something for doing it (fuck you crash 4 lmfao))

but the game is about as nutritionally balanced as a fast food meal. It's just not bro.

the perfect parry requires near FRAME PERFECT inputs, but you can spam the stomp until the sun collapses. the titan animations look like they SHOULD be telegraphed correctly but they're off. Sometimes the attack hit is late, sometimes it's early.

Y'know what, I also hate these fucking babymen who can't handle that their precious little blue rat game is getting criticized so they hide behind their meaningless skill in a single player video game for children. I can understand wanting difficulty, the rest of Frontiers is a cakewalk, and at the end of the day it's a totally free content update that doesn't change fuck about the main game, but this is not real difficulty. It's bad jank. I love Sonic to the end of the fucking earth but this is literally just annoying content. the last of any big spectacle at the final boss was completely ruined by the terrible gameplay that lead up to it. I am in absolutely no fucking rush to play it, in fact I'll probably just watch it online and uninstall the game to make space for something else. (steam deck storage issues)

I feel like I need to bring something up, relevant to all this: Doom Eternal also got DLC, The Ancient Gods, and it was ALSO fucking NUTS HARD. (talking more about Pt 1 here lmao)

HOWEVER. Once you learned how to play through TAG 1 at a high enough level, the REST OF THE GAME opened WIDE UP. It's a hurdle, but once you do it you feel like a fucking CHAMPION. You genuinely feel like you become a master of the art of "Fucking Shit Up".

Final Horizon makes me feel like a child who just got beat up by the school bullies. I don't feel any cooler or better at the game, I just feel like walking back home and maybe crying and pissing myself a bit.

How cool a comparison, DOOM's TAG 1 is a martial arts master where Final Horizon is a group of school bullies lmfao

It's not rewarding skill at all, it's just needless skill. Skill that will never apply to anywhere else in the main game. Because the game was never built for this type of difficulty. (the pre-trial tower climbs were all perfect though) Combat in Frontiers was almost entirely spectacle. It was fucking cool spectacle but at the end of the day you could totally get through the entire game mashing X and you could get away scot-free.

Now, I think the Cyberspace stages are about where the difficulty is present AND correct. It makes sense HOW they're hard, and they don't break any rules just to make the game harder. You can still do absolutely everything you could do in the base game's Cyberspace levels with zero changes to your moveset, the goal posts are now basically expecting you to use your skills. THAT is good skill usage. Not "Let's make your parry window fuckin 8 frames long, go fuck yourself" like what???

I had an idea for how the combat could be just a bit tougher (i'm no game designer yet so this could be ass): Make the boost gauge affect what attack moves you can make and how many times you can make them, and while in combat it recovers a little slower but speeds up by attacking normally. Spamming stomp would basically be impossible, now you have to time it out. i don't fuckin know i just want frontiers's difficulty to make sense.

[tankbredgrunt]

End of year wrap-ups, 2023

It's presently June while I start to write this, and I thought if I wanted to put together a list of media consumed over 2023 I could at least get an early start, for as much my sake of mindfulness and talking about the things I loved/hated. If you're interested too, you can read more; first is video games, then music, then movies and tv, then books. If you feel like talking about anything in here don't hesitate! This is going to be a nightmare to tag though so, I probably won't lmao.

Nothing is necessarily ranked in order either btw, and just because I didn't write any thoughts with something doesn't mean I disliked it. Just no thoughts you know? I could have thoughts though. For the right price.

Viddy Games

For the games I haven't yet beaten but did spent some time playing, I made 12 hours of progress into Hollow Knight and am very keen to get back into it; I played Cyberpunk 2077 for about 47 hours, and am very keen to get back into it; Baldur's Gate 3 has ~9 hours at this moment, and I'm keen, etc; and Starfield has 32 hours in it and I am NOT keen to get back into it. I can get into that later though. 🏆 means I got the Platinum achievement trophy too :3

Last of Us Part 1 (x2)/Last of Us PS4 Remaster (x3)/Last of Us PS3 (x1) 🏆 - 5 stars On top of regular playthroughs, this year also marked the dip into Grounded mode. I completed one Grounded round on the Part 1 PS5 remake, and 2 more on the PS4 remaster (for the achievements). It would be impossible to discuss the reasons why I love this game so much so I will spare yall, a mercy dedicated to anyone who's already had to/gotten to hear me go on about it. I also got two TLoU tattoos this year. Ask me about my theories still though. One of my favorite moments from my 2nd Grounded run (Including one of the nearly-100 fuck ups leading up to that point):

Death Stranding - 5 stars I'm coming in to write about this one retroactively, because I've spent all this time since beating the game thinking about it. Did I understand half of what was going on? Vaguely, but it was beautiful, and heartfelt, and the world was interesting, and it satisfied the need I had to go outside and run my errands. Loved Cliff's character, and his plight as a father, how he carried it with him to the afterlife, and his speech to Sam is on loop constantly as a goosebumps generator. All the webs this story weaved came together and fray in such intriguing ways.

Detroit: Become Human (x2) - 5 stars These were my third and fourth playthroughs of this game and I find myself fonder for this little game each time I play. The perfect example of how a setting is so much deeper for the things it DOESN'T say than the things it does, once you think consider it. Under the cover of fun little robots, this world is so bleak, and I love the thought experiments. A very good example, imo, of what kind of tool cyberpunk really is as a setting. Quantic Dream also slips in one unanswered aspect into each of their stories, and while it's true that the ambiguity can be frustrating, Quantic Dream accidentally does it in a way that I find so alluring. Ra9, in this case, examining the clues on my own, coming to my own conclusions. It lets the world live on after the games have ended. I don't care about having answers--the game focused on what it needed to. It was not a portal into the greater world, it was one into Kara, Connor, and Marcus. We can look at the world on our own.

Disco Elysium - 4 stars Admittedly while this one took me a few months to finish, with a break spanning between November 2022 to March, and often found it VERY dense with information, I still really enjoyed myself. It's also the sort of narrative that is very self-aware, and as such pokes fun at itself, and as another such is sometimes lost under a few too many layers of irony and sarcasm. It's a bit hard sometimes to know what information to take seriously and what to disregard. As wonts these sorts of games the content is made entirely of dialog, very reading heavy, and puts me to sleep--I couldn't imagine playing this game without the stellar voice acting. Haunting and comedic sometimes even in the same line of dialog, I'm glad I found it after the Final Cut was released. Highly recommend, looking forward to another play-through.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom - 4 stars I loved BotW from the moment I got my Switch on launch day. Interestingly with TotK, I found my high opinion slipping the more I played, and too afterward. It seems more and more to me that Nintendo isn't exactly as keyed into what people are looking for with Zelda as they thought. TotK comes complete with shallow villains and anime tropes and a bastardization of a fair bit of the work done in BotW. It is not a story that is aware of it's own narrative, characters, or concepts. I don't say this as a person who demands to know which timeline and where exactly it takes place, only as someone invested in the universe and hopes to have somethings meaningfully extrapolated on. I'm hungry for subversion. Won't get much of that with this game sadly. That said, where gameplay was concerned I still really enjoyed myself. Before release I was worried how they would fill a world I've already spent 300+ hours exploring, and it turned out the answers were 2 entirely new maps and a largely transformed overworld. Discovering the newness in a world I already knew so well was fantastical. The building mechanics were enchanting, the shrines legitimately challenging, and the world still fun to explore. Don't see myself replaying for quite a while though, if ever, which was also the case with BotW. EDIT: having read and heard of all the nightmares about this games development since I've played it, just have to say 😬 yikes dude. Really recontextualizes the story for me. Idk though the gameplay was still super fun, so where an overall rating is concerned, I'm a bit conflicted. I'll leave it where it is I guess but let the record show it's still a Yikes from me about certain things.

Heavy Rain - 3.5 stars So, in the driver's seat of this, I found myself not doing much else besides complaining. The controls on the PC port are horrible; the 'twist' was less that and more... dishonest; voice acting was rough; David Cage exists; etc. But idk dude!! Something about it was still as charming as the first time!! It's been just about 10 years since I first played it at release, and the nostalgia was strong. It was a perfect distraction from real life at the time, and I've always looked back on the game fondly, though I've never replayed it. There ARE functional things I do dislike about the plot and writing and the awful ending, which discounts its score to the 3.5 star rating, but idk yall. I find Norman dorky and lovable, flawed yet well-intentioned; Ethan is a desperate dad trying to correct mistakes he still can't reconcile with; even Scott's motivations are understandable. I, like one key character, cannot deny that seeing a dad do whatever it takes to save his son? I'll have what he's having.

Oxenfree - 3 stars One thing about me is I have a great hatred for time travel stories. They always inevitably fall short. Oxenfree however used what I believe are the true assets of the trope. The struggle of fate, predetermination, and how-could-anything-be-different. (I also believe a key function of time travel stories is the character's understanding that they aren't the first version of themselves caught in the loops but that's a different convo). Anyway the ambiguous ending was also a big win to me. All in all a fun little game. Give it a try if you want some low-stakes entertainment with a good story.

The Uncharted series - a mixed bag So this doesn't include Uncharted 1, which I played damn near a decade ago when I first got my PS4 and the Nathan Drake collection. My thoughts on that are hazy but one I remember vividly--fuck the ship level. Anyway I mark this as mixed bag because my feelings towards it are complicated. I still felt the essence of NaughtyDog throughout, their care for their characters and sympathetic storytelling. While not as morally gray as their TLoU stuff, and rated Teen, it was still compelling, and despite my intense grievances with the combat systems in 1-2-3, I never questioned whether I would continue with the next game. However. Those grievances. Holy shit. Snap-to-cover is NEVER the answer, game devs. I know and forgive that games 1-3 are over a decade old, developers have better tools and understanding now. See an example of my jimmies being rustled here:

Take a shot each time a headshot doesn't hit. For gameplay reasons only I can't give the first 3 games any higher than 3 stars. And even though 3 has the best story of the 3, gameplay might even knock that one down to a 2. Anywho, the whiplash in quality between 3 and 4 was insane. I played the PS5 port, and loved everything about 4. Loved Sam, loved baby Nate, loved the story. It was as if ND had kept a .txt file of every single issue up till that point and corrected each of them. Seeing the bones of TLoU2 was also nice. Phenomenal game, and I look forward to playing it again sometime soon. Ratings for each game go: Uncharted 2 and 3 - 3 stars Uncharted 4 - 5 stars Uncharted: Lost Legacy - 4 stars Sadly I don't have the tools or plans to play the PSP game. PS Vita? Either way.

Last of Us Part 2 (x3) - 4 stars This was probably my 3rd time playing TLoU2, and while I don't have many strong comments to make concerning the story, I feel like this was finally the first time I truly understood Ellie's character in this game. The truth of her grief and what it was really over. And Abby as well, how she wasn't just a foil for Ellie, but for Joel as well. That said, I do still feel I would love this game so much more if it was just told linearly. The pacing is DOGshit dude, wow. Love it though. I've also completed a Grounded playthrough and got the Plat trophy this year as well, which I only mention for bragging rights 💅

Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice 🏆 - 5 stars I don't think I have much to say about this game besides general comments about how phenomenal the experience was. Never played anything like it. Fun exploration, environmental puzzles, great visuals. Combat was good, sound design was excellent. Story was good, acting was amazing. All around VERY thrilled I played.

Assassin’s Creed: Mirage 🏆 - 5 stars I GOTTA SAY, This game surprised the hell out of me. I’m on a journey to play all the Assassin’s Creed games; so far I’ve finished 8 out of ~18. For how badly Valhalla sucked ass I was hesitant to play this one, since it acts as a sort of prequel to a particular character, but DAMN if this didn’t completely surprise me. The world was incredibly fun to explore, and even included environmental puzzles. You will legitimately feel like an assassin with the amount of player freedom this game gives you, and the story was just as good. Best Assassin’s Creed game? 👀 Hard to say till I’ve finished them all but so far it’s absolutely a contender. Basim I love youuuuuu

Unmentioned, in alphabetical order: [Assassin's Creed 1 - 2.5 stars; Assassin's Creed 2 - 3.5 stars; Assassin's Creed: Chronicles: China - 3 stars; Assassin's Creed: Chronicles: India - 3.5; Assassin's Creed: Chronicles: Russia - 3.5 stars; Beyond: Two Souls - 3 stars; Ghost of Tsushima - 4 stars; Gone Home - 3 stars; Indigo Prophecy - 2 stars; It Takes Two - 3 stars; A Plague Tale: Innocence - 3.5 stars; The Quarry - 2.5 stars; SEASON - 3 stars; Spider-Man 2 (2023) 🏆 - 3 stars; Stray - 3.5 stars; Super Mario Wonder - 4 stars; Twin Mirror - 3 stars; Viewfinder - 3.5 stars; A Way Out - 3.5 stars; Where the Goats Are - 3 stars]

Starfield: Putting this one down here at the bottom so I don't start this list out with complaining lol. Anyway the fact this game was nominated for Best RPG at the game awards tells me they don't play some of the games they nominate lol. I don't think I've ever had an experience like this game gave me. I somehow played 30 hours, and had a great time, before realizing it was bad. Nothing happened in the story to stop me, there wasn't suddenly a new gameplay mechanic that I didn't agree with. There was just something in the glamour of those 30 hours that got me. Maybe it was the father figure referring to me with neutral pronouns. But anyway I guess I just came to my senses. I took a break to play something different, came back, and it was an entirely different game. The overworld is barren. They expect you to explore hundreds of plants that have nothing on them besides some minerals and animals you scan. These are laaaaarge swaths of time spent running back and forth in near silence, because not only is there next to nothing meaningful to interact with on these worlds, your companion repeats the same 5 quips the entire time. There are no tools to traversing the overworld more quickly, so you are running for thousands of kilometers so you can scan a useless monument and get 20XP. There is no incentive to exploring, there is no incentive to doing anything other than fast-traveling to your next destination--until the game stops you for not having the appropriate ship parts installed, and you realize it's going to be a 5 hour grind to upgrade that part. Looking back at those 30 hours I enjoyed, this was all still there, but idk man, idk. For this amount of content this should have only been a $30 game, MAX, and they sell it for $70. But I bought it for $70, so who is the real chump here. I think the only thing I truly enjoyed (besides Sam Coe) was the mission 'Entangled', where you are unwillingly forced between two alternate universes, due to an experiment in a research facility. It sits right on the cusp of horror, between one universe where the research facility exploded and nature took it back, and another where the explosion never happened. There is drama, intrigue, decisions, exploration, everything. Nothing else in the game came close at all to touching that and I'm mad I spent so long before realizing it. Who wrote this mission, so I can thank you?

Music (and the lyrics that make it)

My complete 2023 favorites Spotify playlist

Favorite albums: Preacher's Daughter by Ethel Cain Slut Pop by Kim Petras Guard Dog by Searows I Let It in and It Took Everything by Loathe Heavy Glow by Soulkeeper

Individual tracks and my favorite lyric: Master & A Hound by Gregory Alan Isakov 'Where were you when I was still kind?' Sun Bleached Flies by Ethel Cain 'If it's meant to be then it will be.' Don't Keep Driving by The Paper Kites 'There's nothing wrong with a little space. But not right now; don't leave.' Honey Dripping Sky by Georgia 'No matter how hard we try, I won't deny--it's for you.' Coming Clean by Searows 'If I kill you would I have to forgive you still?' Francesca by Hozier 'I’d tell them put me back in it. [Darling,] I would do it again.'

TV and Movies

I am severely illiterate when it comes to movies so the goal this year was to have watched at least one movie a week. Did I succeed,Future Me? [Yeah!]

Kingsman: Secret Service and :Golden Circle - 5 and 4 stars The cinematography?? The choreography? Hello? Across both movies, they were all so incredible. While Secret Service was my favorite of the two, Golden Circle had my favorite fight (though the church scene is a clooooose second)(Pedro Pascal I love you):

Gentlemen Bronco - 2 stars This movie was dull as shit BUT, it had one of my favorite scenes of the year.

Knock at the Cabin - 3.5 stars Just wanna put this one here real quick to get the Worms out--what was the point? Narratively, what was the point? I have been rolling this movie around my head since I watched last night and I'm hoping to read the book soon for better context, but man. While I enjoyed this movie a lot I just do not follow the themes, more so considering the ending. Was it a fight against providence and predetermination, only to prove its own point? The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few (Mr. Spock)? I can't tell exactly what this movie was asking me. As a rule I generally don't enjoy stories where the psychos are proved right with no closer examination of the themes and circumstances. Like yeah the MCs being a gay couple framed the story differently but that is also just a side effect of having distinctive characters lmao. It also insulated some sacrificial-minority stuff? Weird. And asks no questions about fate or anything, which is a wild loop considering Andrew's previous history with Redmond (a red herring? However I feel if the intro of a red herring completely recontextualizes the larger possibilities of the world, then it's not a good red herring, it's lazy). Ultimately I understand a theme is save your family or save humanity--it's on the DVD cover lol. But yeah man idk. All the other stuff, it made for a weird soup that I just cannot decipher. Anyway. EDIT: I have since read the source novel and it was incredible. I will not be watching any more Shyamalan movies lmao

Pacific Rim - 5 stars I also don't have anything much deeper to say about this than gotTDAMN dude, what a good fucking movie. I decided to watch because of all the Pacific Rim AUs that take place in fandom, and I decided I finally needed to know why and I DO know why now because good lord. What a good movie. That said the sequel was a hot pile.

The Arrival - 3 stars The way this movie had my heart racing the entire time--and shat it all away at the immediate end. Pure whiplash. "You know what surprised me the most? It wasn't meeting them. It was meeting you." What kind of straight nonsense. What kind of anticlimactic. What kind of bullshit. I was immediately snapped to my senses, I'm not over exaggerating. Insanity.

Unmentioned, in alphabetical order: [After Yang - 4 stars; Assassin's Creed (2016) - 2 stars; Asteroid City - 4 stars; Barbie - 4 stars; Begotten (1990) - 2 stars; Bullet Train - 4 stars; Come and See (1985) - 3 stars; Dead Poets Society - 3 stars; El Dorado - 3 stars; Grave Encounters - 3 stars; The Green Knight - 4 stars; The Hateful Eight - 5 Stars; IT and IT: Chapter 2 - 4 stars; Jennifer's Body - 3 stars; King of the Hill (all 13 seasons) - episode determinate; Knives Out - 5 stars; Knives Out: Glass Onion - 2 stars; Labyrinth - 2 stars; Lady Bird - 3 stars; Lake Mungo - 3 stars; The Lighthouse - 3 stars; Mad Max: Fury Road - 3 stars; The Magnificent Seven (1960) - 4 stars; The Magnificent Seven (2016) - 3.5 stars; Martyr (2008) - 3 stars; Matrix - 3 stars; Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions - 1 star; The Menu - 4 stars; Midnight Mass - 4 stars; My Own Private Idaho - 3 stars; NOPE - 4 stars; Once Upon a Time in the West - DNF; Possum - 3 stars; The Power of the Dog - 3 stars; RE: Damnation, Death Island, Degeneration, Infinite Darkness, and Vendetta - 3 stars; Saltburn - 3.5 stars; Seven Samurai (1954) - 3 stars; The Shape of Water - 4.5 stars; Skinamarink - 3 stars; Star Trek: The Motion Picture - 2.5 stars; ST: Search for Spock and ST: Voyage Home - 4 stars; ST: The Wrath of Khan - 4.5 stars; The Thing (1982) - 3 stars; The Thing From Another World (1951) - 3 stars; Tideland (2005) - 2 stars; Unforgiven - 4 stars; The VVitch - 3 stars]

Favorite Books

The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez - 5 stars I have never EVER in my life read a book like this one, and I urge everyone to give it a try. Two men must escort a dying god across the country in order to stop the control of her tyrannical children. If you aren't digging the book, at least try and make it 100 pages in. The beginning, like every chunky fantasy, is a bit of a tough learning experience, and the uniqueness of the prose didn't exactly make it an easier task. However, it makes it extremely lyrical and poetic, and intriguing. The entire package is mind-blowingly unique. AND it ends happily, if that makes you feel better.

To Be Taught, If Fortunate by Becky Chambers - 5 stars My thoughts on this little story aren't overly complex or anything, I just found the setting very nice, the B plot concerning Earth interesting, and the ambiguous ending intriguing. While the events might be a little harrowing it was the hopeful attitude of the prose and characters that made it very comforting nonetheless. I loved the experience while I was reading it, and think about the ending now, even all these months after reading.

The Sleeping Car Porter by Suzette Mayr - 4 stars A black sleep car porter tries to keep his job and his sanity after their train is stopped by a mudslide. Before this I can say I'd never read anything in this setting before, and it was what drew me in initially, but it was the writing that really captivated me. The narrative has a very intimate feeling, nostalgic almost, as if you're hearing the story secondhand even as you read. It's also refreshing when a book just says 'cock', and no extra-curricular euphemisms. Where's that video of Taron Egerton saying cock over and over btw cause I can't find it

The Magpie Coffin by Wile E Young - 4 stars The first in a collection of splatterpunk westerns?? It was so fun to read, and the cover is so badass. It knew what it was and it did so well.

In the Distance by Hernan Diaz - 4 stars A young Swedish boy, separated from his brother, fends for himself in the early USA west. I was on hold for this through my library for nearly a month and a half, so by the time I got it in my grubby hands my exciting was pretty high. Though I found much of it slow, I was still somehow on the edge of my seat. It's a crime that this was the Pulitzer runner-up, and that Less by Andrew Greer won instead. It's been a very very long time since I've felt so strongly about the well-being and outcome of a character but Hakan if you're out there--I love you.

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins - 5 stars

Nothing to add to this decade long conversation other than this holds up :’) I was gasping like I was in high school again, reading it for the first time.

Honorable mentions, in alphabetical order by author last name: [A Psalm for the Wild Built and A Prayer for the Crown Shy by Becky Chambers - 4 stars; How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix - 4 stars; Texas Outlaw by Richard Jessup - 4 stars; Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie - 4 stars; Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller - 4 stars; Helpmeet by Naben Ruthnum - 4 stars; The Power of the Dog by Thomas Savage - 4 stars; East of Eden by John Steinbeck - 5 stars; The Cabin at the End of the World by Paul Tremblay - 4.5 stars]

LEAST Favorite Books

I'm nothing if not a hater so I wanted to give some space to the books I most disliked.

Less by Andrew Sean Greer - DNF SAUR upset that this won the Pulitzer prize of its year instead of In The Distance by Hernan Diaz. 100 pages into it and I could not find anything redeeming about the main character. Pretentious, bitter. Like maybe that was his arc? He would outgrow that maybe. But it was just not the book nor the characters for me, unfortunately, so I did not stick around long enough for that to happen.

Bath Haus by PJ Vernon - DNF WHEW boy was the writing in this one bad. Like yall ever read a queer book and just know it was written for straight people? Let me find a picture I took of one paragraph.

Yikes and a half, dude. Anyway

Meat by Joseph D'Lacey - 1 star This was just plain bad. Like 'Oh isn't it so crazy they're eating people?? They're treating people like cattle, that's so demented right??' No. Not really. There's cannibalism in the cannibalism genre? Get a grip. I live near Donner Pass, we got cannibalism in the water here. Although maybe I'm also partially to blame for expecting some deeper storytelling from splatterpunk.

The Troop by Nick Cutter - 2 stars I don't know that I have anything really critical to say about this book other than I just didn't enjoy it. Writing was fine, prose was fine. It's told a bit out of order, think Carrie by Stephen King--snippets of interviews and articles detailing the aftermath of the events of the book. I do remember thinking that the facts were contradicting themselves a few times but was really not invested enough to care too deeply. The isolated, abandoned feeling we get from the island was nice, and the atmosphere good, I just don't believe Nick Cutter is a good writer. A bit too many slurs in here as well, methinks.

Books I DNF'd: With 15 in total this was the year of DNFing for me; it's amazing was Prozac can do for a person. (Disclaimer: I've only listed 13 of them here. The other two had to go back to the library before I could finish them so I marked them as technical DNFs :( and it doesn't feel right to include them in this list for haters)

Bath Haus by PJ Vernon (explained above) The Singularities by John Banville (nothing offensive, just didn't vibe. Books will often try way too hard on the opening paragraph and I'm not here for a philosophy lesson as I crack open a book you know what I mean) Heartless by Marissa Meyer (I just don't think YA does it for me anymore) There's Someone Inside Your House by Stephanie Perkins (" ") If We Were Villains by ML Rio (I just don't like being lectured and this book was clearly written for someone who wasn't me lol) Pretty Girls by Karin Slaughter (I find that a lot of times thrillers written by women employ stereotypes against men and their 'perverse' sexual tastes. The lines between pornography/fantasy and reality don't seem as nuanced in this genre, unfortunately. A man is not immediately a villain because he enjoys CNC or roleplay, and the pearl clutching is a little tired) Campfire Cooking in Another World by Ren Eguchi (why is every light novel like this:

The Lies of Locke Lamore by Scott Lynch (this was too quippy for my tastes. It was a little too busy being clever and not busy enough being interesting.) Less by Andrew Greer (Mean Gays, the next Tina Fay movie) Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey (just wasn't my cuppa) Riders of the Purple Sage by Zane Grey (I read a review that counted how many times Zane Grey used 'sage' in this book. I don't remember the number but there was a lot of them. Too much mormanism going on, just wasn't my cuppa) The Cold Dish by Craig Johnson (only alright, not bad but wasn't going anywhere fast. More of a character focused, soft bit of mystery, which was fine, I just didn't find myself enjoying the characters either) Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett (I just wasn’t vibing you know how it is)

2023 Reading Statistics

I also keep a track of the pages read and ratings, as well as genre, where I read the book and in what format, so I'll put that here too for posterity's sake. And If you'd like, I use GoodReads, and we can be friends!

62 books read 18,217 pages in total 3.25 average star rating 19 (30.6%) of the books read were owned; 43 (69.4%)(nice) were from the library 14 (75.8%) were physical books; 12 (19.4%) were ebooks; 3 (4.8%) were audiobooks

That's it! I don't make reading goals anymore, in terms of how many to read, but I do know I want to TRY and read the copy of Battle Royal I've had since my junior year of high school. And I'd like to try and finish the Tsubasa manga series, since I never made it past volume 15 I think. I can't think of anything other than that! It was a good year!

[atlasllm]

I know you're blog title is probably exaggerating, but I wanna know exactly what moments and what about them made you cry. Hold nothing back. I'm willing to read a Bible's worth of this stuff. I love hearing about how people emotionally connect to pieces of fiction in a positive way, especially if it's something near and dear to me like Sonic.

nope i am not exaggerating in the slightest lol, i've kept count for the past year

That being said, I don't remember ALL of each moments that made me cry, but I answered a similar question a year ago (back then the count was only 6 times)

I cried because Sonic reminds me of a very obscure comfort character of mine and one of the 2 people I talk to who know about this character confirm that he is exactly like him, which hits deep because they both are optimistic punk guitarists who would definitely fit My Chemical Romance's "Danger Days" album due to their life philosophies

I made a new friend recently One of my friends has been a Sonic fan longer than I've been alive, and since I got into Sonic post-Forces they said that they were glad the first game I can experience be released is Sonic Frontiers because of how massively amazing it is in comparison to how the franchise has been for the past decade

Catching up with a friend since they're working and I'm in college and they allowed me to infodump on Discord call about Sonic Frontiers... I forget WHY exactly it made me cry at the moment but like, god this game was so good and I was only WATCHING gameplay

I think more recent ones I remember have been:

Outright crying because it took me so many hours to finally beat the Master King Koco Trial (I have video of this but I don't think I'm ready to use vids of me crying for internet clout yet LMAO)

Hearing I'm Here (Revisited) for the first time and hearing the instrumental + Kellin Quinn's vocals as Eggman aims the rifle, seeing Sonic grow so powerful he defeats The End in one shot, floats through space unconscious, and lands back down onto the planet okay and finally able to be with his friends again

I'm not 100% sure about these ones, but I guarantee-ish moments I have cried were:

Watching Penny "Snapcube" Parker play Sonic Frontiers (like I've said, this is the first Sonic game I've actively followed coming out + would have just watched let's plays before realizing it looked so fun to play that I wanted it for Christmas) and her playing the entire Chaos Island storyline where Sonic admits Tails is basically his little brother and he'll miss him when he goes out on his own adventure

Sage's sacrifice + hearing Dear Father

That shot in the original ending (Penny played Hard Mode so it was getting me antsy enough to see what the ending would be after the bullet hell section) where it's just Sonic flying through the air like a shooting star; the shot of Sonic being a literal star coupled with the specific part of I'm With You that plays just looked so incredibly beautiful

While once again I'm not sure if I can name specific moments, but Sonic Frontiers is genuinely one of the best experiences I've had. For the longest time I've only played free-to-play MMOs like Wizard101 and Toontown (and also Minecraft Bedrock edition), and while I have yet to catch up to Wizard101, I've never really gotten attatched to triple A games.

Watching Penny play Sonic Frontiers, after ages of hearing that "oh this old Sonic game is the best" "eugh these past few Sonic games are terrible" and seeing a human just genuinely enjoy this fresh new game, especially as the first Sonic game that I as a newer fan was seeing experience in real time, just filled me with so much joy. Seeing each update come out to make it better and better, and seeing Frontiers completely blow itself out of the water and put Sonic on-par with other triple A games instead of being seen as a joke 24/7, it made the experience of Sonic Frontiers being my first real Sonic game so much more sweeter. And heck, it's incredibly accessible! Wizard101 is basically a card game simulator and even I with a keyboard was able to 100% it, play hard mode, and complete the DLC!

I think that in itself, seeing Frontiers as my first Sonic game and seeing how good it is, just makes the entire experience really emotional for me. How so many of my friends who've been fans longer than me are excited I get to experience the same joy they felt when they first became Sonic fans. It's like seeing an old friend that you haven't seen for a long time mixed with the sheer joy of waking up on Christmas morning during your childhood.

I have a lot of feelings about this game ;w;

EDIT: OH OH that part where Sonic grabs the giant sword and slashes Knight in half coupled with the ending of Find Your Flame 100% made me cry too

[cobaltaris]

Aris Media 2023 #34: Metroid Prime Pinball

this is probably the most out of obligation game i've taken off my backlog this year? like, i don't think this would be a game i'd beat for the media list otherwise? anyway yeah this was alright LOL

at this point i can call myself an enjoyer of pinball, i'm. not THAT good at it but i was good enough to reach the second-to-last table (Artifact Temple) here legit!...before i resorted to cheats after like 50+ runs of trying to get all 12 Artifacts, because holy shit, having enemies that can so easily take you out of the table and make me lose Balls is. something else!...and thats something i should be happy about! /lh

as a Metroid diehard and a Pinball enjoyer, casually speaking I loved my time - the events are pretty fun outside of Triclops Terror and Metroid Mania and most of the tables are good, even the bosses all somehow work! honestly, just playing in Single-Mission mode and not having to deal with collecting Artifacts while jumping between all the maps with no saves, its probably the best pinball video game I've played, but it gets kinda frustrating in Multi-Mission mode for me.

anyway yeah if you like metroid it's good to try this out for an hour or two, very niche but surprisingly rich for what it is, had a lot of fun!

Grade: B

[geemergoop]

Cuphead

TL; DR at the end.

Ok, today's Cuphead session was the end of Inkwell Isle two. After failing repeatedly against Grim Matchstick yesterday I took a break and finished Funfair Fever for a few more coins. Ultimately one of the easier run-and-guns, I struggled so hard against the pretzels and hot dog at the end - chock that one up to skill issue.

I was fortunate enough to encounter one "glitch" during the level, this little zoop maneuver that Cuphead pulled on these thin platforms, and just a straight up game issue that was kinda funny (audio warning, it gets really crackly and weird):

I was not gonna let the vending machine get away with that.

Coins in hand, I purchased the Coffee charm but did not have enough money for the Lobber shot (I wasted my money on Charge earlier and have yet to find a good boss to use it on). My saving grace was little Miss Jelly Donut here who just gave me a coin for free:

I owe her my life.

I moved on to fight Wally Warbles, probably my favorite plane level so far because the attack patterns felt a lot like a traditional shmup so it was pretty familiar until the third phase with the child bird. About halfway through my attempts I got smart and actually equipped the Coffee charm and supered my way through the fight.

Here is where I would post a video/gif of the fight but tumblr sucks and I'm not going to compress a gif or make another post to show a video.

I did also run into another glitch which I have seen documented where I got hit after parrying a projectile. Just look it up if you don't believe me.

With Wally's soul contract in hand I went back to Grim, prepared with Coffee and Lobber, which I had strongly discounted until I actually used it. It's range is actually really solid and helped a ton with the second phase. I found the second phase is much easier staying high on the screen and focusing on the fire dudes. The only time I got hit was when two jumped back to back because I would only hear the audio cue for the first one.

Then we get to the final phase of Grim, which was the toughest challenge so far. I don't know what it is but those projectiles were just too fast for me, I gave up and beat him on Simple mode.

Simple mode doesn't reward you with a contract.

Steeling myself, I abandoned my usual playstyle of high-risk, maximum damage for much more reserved. I used the peashooter and only pumped damage while he did his flamethrower attack:

Waited for coffee to build my super, and finally won after like 30 minutes of grinding.

A quick dance break for King Dice, and it's time for Inkwell Isle Three!

TL; DR