#will anyone have a breakdown over n&d and did not wait for an answer
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powerbottomblake · 4 years ago
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Do you think CRWBY would have the guts to have Penny admit she has a big old crush on Ruby, the same way Ilia did for Blake? Because I feel like the girl does have a big old crush. LIke a big fat one.
I think it’s less a matter of guts than a matter of intent.
As I said before, nuts and dolts as an intense, formative platonic bond for both Ruby and Penny is still a very valid reading of their relationship till now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very much into n&d and the romantic coloring of it is there if they want to take it there, but I don’t think that was the original plan.
If we take bumbleby as an example, you can see how RT had them planned from the get go, down to their very character designs being complementary. Ilia, as well, was intended to be the first officially introduced lgbt character. I don’t see that kind of intent in n&d. That doesn’t mean it won’t happen! Sometimes some subplots and relationships grow organically from the writing without first being planned that way. Becky Albertalli, for example, saw the response to the Leah/Abby storyline (or the potential there that the readers picked up on) and realized she had unwittingly planted the seeds for what would be the sequel to Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda and would be a great f/f storyline (check it out if you haven’t already btw).
So RT could totally go over what they’ve put out so far and be like oh. This is something that developed organically and could definitely lead to another great lgbt storyline, which, paired with Penny’s trans coding would be incredible. But I honestly wouldn’t fault them if they didn’t take the story there.
But also yes Penny has a big fat crush on Ruby and she fills the Classic RWBY Love Interest Prerequisites that is:
- she Sees and is Seen by Ruby from the very get go; Ruby just immediately sees to the heart of Penny, regardless of her having a metallic body she’s always affirmed how Penny is real and human to her. And Penny is inspired by Ruby’s kindness and courage and nobility. Tbh a great moment is Penny immediately pegging Ruby’s semblance before she herself was aware of all it entailed; surface level it’s a great joke, but it also speaks volume abt Penny’s ability to grasp what makes Ruby’s soul.
- Parallel/complimentary struggles and arcs! Ruby has to contend with being one of the last specimens of an otherwise extinct line of warriors that could be key to saving the world, Penny has to learn how to basically be Remnant’s equivalent of a superhero. They’re in unique positions to understand each other best (which is actively being reflected rn)
I don’t know how this turned into an N&D manifesto but yeah basically I don’t know if they were planned to come off this way nor would I be miffed if RT ultimately doesn’t go there with them but. The seed is there, and it’s been growing, and it’d be kinda neat if it did end up flowering.
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if it’s not too much to ask please please please could you write more avengers x teen!reader? I adore the one with fear of the dark and was wondering if you could do something similar? Like either the avengers comforting the reader or just something with lots of hugs and cuddles? Thank you!! <3
Stage Fright - Avengers x anxious!teen!Reader
Summary: When your presentation for class goes terribly wrong, your team mates come to rescue you and take you home.
Warnings: depictions of anxiety, panic attack, a few cuss words
Type: angst, ends with fluff
Word Count: ~2.5k
A/N: MY FIRST REQUEST, very exciting!! I am so so glad you liked my work, and I hope you enjoy this one as well!! <3 I also have quite a few more ideas for teen!Reader fics, so this definitely won't be the last piece like this!
(Y/l/n) = your last name
(f/d) = favorite drink
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You’d been dreading this day for weeks now. Clutching the straps of your backpack, you let out a deep sigh, walking up to the doors of your school. You didn’t like school to begin with, but the building seemed much more intimidating today. Making your way through the halls, you were grateful that you got to school early, you hated pushing through crowds of people.
“Hey, hey (Y/n)!”, a voice called from down the hall. You recognized it almost immediately. “Hi Peter, what’s up?”. You were happy to see him, maybe talking out your nervousness would help. “Oh, you know, just the same old stuff. Sure am tired though”. “Well, if you don’t sleep then you will be tired”. “Like you’re one to talk (Y/l/n)”. You only rolled your eyes and stuck out your tongue at him, evoking a chuckle from him. “How about you? How are you doing?”. “Ugh, not great. I have to present that project today. Not particularly looking forward to it”, you huffed, looking down to the ground as your anxiety increased at the thought of presenting alone. “Hey, I’m sure you’ll do great. Most people don’t pay attention to presentations anyways”, he assured you. You popped your knuckles, still feeling just as nervous. You knew he was right, but that didn’t stop the fear surging through you. “Yeah, I know. I just don’t want to do it. Maybe if I wait long enough, there won’t be any class time left for me to present”, that was your hope, and your only plan to get out of this without panicking in front of the whole class. “Maybe, well regardless, I hope it goes well”, he offered you a sincere smile. “Yeah, I hope so too”. “Well, I should probably head to class, see you at lunch!”. “Right back at ya, Parker”, you waved gently to him as he disappeared down a hallway.
You made your way to your first class, deciding to read a bit before class started. Nothing you did eased the gnawing anxiety in the back of your mind though. Your first two classes were easy enough, but it was hard to focus, your mind racing with intrusive thoughts. ‘What if my voice gives out? What happens if I start crying in front of everyone? God, the whole school will hear about it. Everyone will stare at me, whisper about me every time I pass by them. I can’t do this, I just can’t’. By your third class, you’d bitten your nails down to blood, your lips suffering the same fate, cracked and split open. You almost considered skipping, but you’d worked hard on this project, you couldn’t let that go to waste. So, taking your seat in the back of the class, you tried breathing techniques, anything to help calm your senses. Your leg bounced so much, you swore the floor would give out under your foot.
The teacher turned out the lights, letting people present their projects voluntarily. You calmed the tiniest bit. If someone randomly kept volunteering to present, the class time was sure to run out before you even got the chance to stand up. Throughout the class, you were on edge, chanting silent prayers in your head. You weren’t very fortunate though, as everyone presented quickly, making it apparent that you were going to have to present no matter what. “Alright, who hasn’t gone up yet?”, your teacher called out, looking at her grading sheet. ‘Oh my god, please don’t see my name. Please tell me I don’t exist. Let me just disappear. I can’t do this’. “Oh! (Y/n) still hasn’t presented, come on over and I’ll pull up your project”, your teacher chirped.
Your heart pounded painfully hard in your chest, slowly standing up on jelly legs, keeping your gaze down as you walked to the whiteboard. You couldn’t possibly do this. You were going to die. Every mission you’d ever gone on seemed so miniscule in this moment, as you looked out to your peers. It was too dark to see most of their faces, which only made your situation worse. Your teacher pulled up the project on the projector, gesturing to you to start presenting, as she clicked her pen, ready to write down every mistake you made.
Letting out a jittery breath, you clasped your sweaty hands together and began talking. You were shaking so badly, it was like an earthquake had erupted inside of your body. You could feel the tears threatening to spill past your eyes, leaving a hard pain in your throat. Your chest hurt, and your breathing was becoming more erratic. But you had to finish, you had to get this over with. Just as you were on one of the last slides, a voice called from somewhere in the class, “Hey, pipsqueak! Speak up, would ya? We can’t hear you back here!”. The comment elicited a few snickers, which your teacher hushed quietly, but the damage was already done. The room was suddenly shrinking around you, as your chest tightened even further. You bit your lip, trying your best to compose yourself, attempting to push down your anxiety, but it only pushed back up more violently. “(Y/n)? You still have a few slides left”, your teacher said, but you didn’t hear her. Instead, your fight or flight instincts took over, and you raced out of the classroom, tears now breaking free, streaming down your face. You headed to the nearest bathroom, locking yourself in a stall, your whole world crumbling beneath you.
Leaning against the door, you slid down, breath caught in your throat, fighting to get out, but to no avail. Instinctively, you brought your knees up to your chest, clutching at the seams of your pants, letting out choked sobs and broken coughs. There was only one thing you could think of that might help you, and that was your teammates. You pulled your phone out of your pocket, continuing to shake violently, as you clicked the emergency contacts, thumb pressed to the first person, which just so happened to be Bucky. You lifted the phone to your ear, barely hearing the ring, despite your call volume being all the way up.
Bucky saw your name pop up on his phone, panic surging through him. You never called, it made you too anxious. He answered instantly, “(Y/n)? (Y/n), sweetheart, are you okay?”. His sudden panic mixed with your name caused both Steve and Sam to stand by him, all of them mentally preparing for an emergency. You wanted to reply, but all that came out was a squeak, as your fist collided with the tiled floor, your oxygen levels becoming more scarce by the second. Bucky put his phone on speaker, letting all three of them talk to you. “(Y/n), doll, you gotta breathe okay? Through your nose, count on your fingers”, Bucky stated, trying to keep his voice steady for you. “Yep, deep breaths (Y/n), you’ve got this. You’re gonna be okay”, Steve reassured you. After about 10 minutes of the three of them gently coaxing you out of your panic attack, you calmed slightly, leaving you crying quietly.
“We’re almost back at the compound, we’ll come and pick you up in about 20 minutes, okay?”, Steve said, giving no room for protests, although at this point you weren’t going to object. You wanted to go home. “Okay, I guess I should get back to class then”, you murmured, realizing that you’d probably been gone for over 15 minutes now. It was weird no one came to look for you, but you weren’t complaining. “If you aren’t ready to go back kid, that’s fine. We can stay on the call as long as you need”, Sam mentioned, his voice sounded beyond concerned. You had a bad habit of not taking care of yourself, especially in times of crisis. “No, I’ll be fine, gotta go back to get my stuff anyways”, you were dreading going back. The whole class would be focused on you for sure, not to mention the faux sympathy from your teacher, something that would surely cause another flood of tears. You just wanted to go unnoticed, for everyone to ignore your presence. “Alright, if you’re sure”. “I’m sure, I’ll see you guys soon”, you weren’t sure, but you had to convince them, you knew too well that they’d cause a scene at the school if things got worse. “Okay, stay safe sweetheart, we’ll be there as soon as possible”, Steve stated, before Bucky reluctantly hung up the phone.
Letting out a deep sigh, you pushed yourself up, groaning slightly as you forced your stiff body to move. You stepped out of the stall, silently thanking the universe for not letting anyone walk in during your breakdown. You looked to one of the mirrors, finding a disheveled figure staring back at you. You grabbed a paper towel, dampening it in the sink, and gently washing the dried tears off your face. You fixed your clothing and washed your hands, before making the godawful trip back to class. There was only 5 minutes left for the class, but that was more than enough time for shit to go wrong. You stood outside the door for a minute, taking a moment to compose yourself.
Turning the handle slowly, you eased your way past the door, the lights now on. Just as you expected, all eyes turned on you, but most turned away quickly, looking back to their friend or their phone. That lifted your nervousness a bit, as you started to head back to your desk, but your teacher had other plans, as she cleared her throat, motioning for you to go and talk to her. You cussed quietly to yourself, could this day get any worse? You dragged your feet over to her desk, biting your now scabbed lip. “So, your project was very good, therefore, I’m going to give you a 90, but I have to dock 10 points for your presentation”, she spoke quietly and sternly. Your face grew hot with her words, tears swelling in your eyes again. She was taking points off for something that you couldn’t control? It pissed you off to say the least. You only looked away from her desk, nodding slightly, knowing better than to open your mouth. “Alright then, you can go and pack up your things”. You walked quickly back to your desk, putting the few things you had taken out back into your backpack, before the bell rang for lunch. Dashing out of the class, you headed straight for the front of the school, more than ready for the day to be over. You’d email your 4th period teacher later on what work you missed out on. On your way, you made sure to text Peter, letting him know everything that happened, and that you wouldn’t be there for lunch.
You only had to wait for a few minutes, as Sam walked through the doors, spotting you quickly and walking over to you. “You alright kid?”. “Yeah, I’ll be fine, jus’ want this day to be done already”. He nodded, following you to the front office, signing everything to excuse you for the day. He kept a close eye on you the whole time, a protective hand placed on your shoulder. Stepping out of the building, he led you to the car where Bucky and Steve awaited. You got into the back seat, Sam sitting in the seat next to you.
“Hey doll, you feeling alright?”, Bucky quizzed, angling his body to look at you. “Yeah, ‘m glad you guys offered to pick me up though. Don’t really think I could’ve lasted another class”, you fidgeted with your hands, you knew your nerves wouldn’t calm for a while, but at least it was manageable now. “We’re always here for you, kid, no matter what”, Sam assured you, patting your shoulder softly. “Mhm, you can always come to us, even if we’re on a mission. Our job can always wait, your well being is more important than anything”, Steve added, looking briefly to you in the rearview mirror. “Thank you for that, you guys are the best”, you smiled bashfully. “No need to thank us, jus’ doing what’s right”, Bucky stated. “So, whatcha feel like doing when we get back?”, Sam asked. You thought for a moment, doing anything social sounded horrible at the moment, and the weighted blanket in your room was calling your name. “How ‘bout a pizza and movie night?”, you inquired, knowing they’d all like the idea, hell the whole team would probably join in. “Sounds good to me”, Steve mused, he always liked time for the team to bond. “Me too”. “Me as well, I’m starving dude”, Sam quipped, causing all of you to chuckle.
It didn’t take long to get back to the tower, all of you heading inside, you going to your room to set your stuff down and to change into something more comfy. After changing, you grabbed your weighted blanket, wrapping it around you, heading back down to the common room. Word must’ve spread fast, cause the whole team was gathered there, everyone sitting in a designated spot, except for Tony, who was currently ordering pizza over the phone. “Hey, there they are, rough day at school?”, Natasha asked, giving you a warm smile. “Yeah, not the greatest”, you huffed out a small laugh. “Well, in that case, you get to choose the first movie draga”, Pietro looked up at you from his spot on the floor. You hummed in response, before placing your decision on one of your favorite comfort movies. Clint started to look it up on the various streaming services, finding it almost instantly. “This one, right?”. You nodded happily, making your way over to sit between Steve and Wanda. “Hey, kiddo, you want a drink? And I’m guessing you want some extra garlic breadsticks too, right?”, Tony asked, holding his phone away from his mouth slightly. “Uhh, I’ll have a (f/d), and duh, of course I want garlic breadsticks”. “Yeah, what type of question is that?”, Pietro chimed in. Tony scoffed at him, rolling his eyes, but continued placing the order.
Wanda opened her arms next to you, allowing you to curl into her side as her arms wrapped softly around you. You stretched your legs out, Steve placed them on his lap, gently rubbing his thumb over your calf. Your nerves were finally winding down, as Clint pressed play on the movie. Wanda kept an arm wrapped around your back, her other hand resting gently on the side of your head, making sure to keep you close. The pizza arrived shortly after the movie had started, and you grabbed as much food as you wanted. You deserved it after the day you had. After the first movie finished, and the team voted on a new movie to watch, you felt yourself begin to drift off. You couldn’t have imagined a more perfect setting, comfort and warmth surrounding you. You didn’t make it far into the second movie before you fell asleep, listening to the sound of Wanda’s heart beating, the events from earlier that day flooding away, leaving you to sleep peacefully, knowing that you were safe and sound.
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dollymadness · 4 years ago
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I have request: bakugo, tamaki, mirio reacting to reader yelling at them. Make it angsty. Pls. Hi btw. 👀
heyy muah 😽
mirio togata (x abusive reader)
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"Hi, sunshine!" Mirio was late for the date. Again.
"Where were you?" You ask, with a extremely polite tone, and his eyes already loose all the light they had when he saw you.
"I'm sorry, darling, Eri wanted to play a little more and i-"
"And again you choose her over me, right? I'm starting to figure out your priorities in life." You insist on the calm, low way to say your words, and stare at him with murder eyes.
"She is a little girl... i love her as... as a daughter. H-how can you say something like that..." Mirio is starting to breakdown, starting to doubt his own feelings.
"I'm being realistic." You grab his arm and stick your nails deep on his skin. "She is not your daughter, and you'll never be able to cover the emptiness she already holds. Only a fool like you to think that she could ever see you as a father figure... All you do is be clingy and annoying around her!" Togatas eyes drops to the ground and he plays with the sleeve of his shirt to avoid the tears.
"It's ok if she does not see me like that..." He offers you a depressed smile. "All i want is to ease her pain, even if it's just a little. And i need to take care of her-"
"Of course... guess i'm just overeacting again, sorry. I don't need your attention and support as she does..." You know exactly what to say to put some guilt on his back.
"No-no, don't say that! Your feelings are important to me too, and i'm so sorry that i let you down again, i swear i won't repeat this..."
"Tsc... the same thing you said last time. And here we are, having the same discussion... you're so dumb i swear-"
"I'm sorry... let's just... enjoy our date?"
"Hah- Funny how you say that you care but try to avoid the topic at all costs."
"I'm- fuck, how could i be so unsensitive...? do it, tell me everything you are feeling. I promise i'll fix."
"Don't make promises you can't keep. The only thing that could solve this problem would be you let go of this... this... stupid child!" You stop the pressure on his arm and start gentle massaging the place. "It's between me and her. I won't take excuses this time."
"But, but..." Mirio take a moment to think of the best words choice. "Eri makes me so happy... after i lost my quirk my days has been only her... she helps me to forget too..."
"DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?" The tone makes him focus on you again.
"No..."
"SHUT UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP!" You point an accusing finger to his face and straight your posture.
Before talking again, you take a good, long, amused look at how destroyed he is. A tiny smile emerges.
"I don't have time to your FUCKING VICTMISM! 'After i lost my quirk' *cry noises* THAT'S BULLSHIT. DEAL WITH IT! RECOVER ALREADY, USELESS PIECE OF SHIT!" You push him.
"You're right..." Togata feels like an idiot. Why can't he just surpass the pain? Why does he need someone to do it? He has one simple task and he keeps failing.
Useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless...
"DID I SAY THAT YOU COULD FUCKING SPEAK?" You aren't done with him yet. "WHY ARE YOU SO ANNOYING? YOU... SELFISH BITCH! Can't you think of others feelings for once? Damn..."
Mirio is taking everything you give him with a fake smile, but he can't stop the tears. You're right, you always are.
Is his fault. If only he had make to the date in time, if he was able to not always talk about himself-
"ANSWER ME NOW, UNWANTED TRASH!"
"I'm being so s-selfish..." The tears empaze his words in a way that would be painful to anyone that watched, but not for you. Tears mean that you won. "I apologize for being uncapable to solve my own problems... Please..."
"I'm done with this. Have fun babysitting Eri, because you just lost me." You proceed to walk away, but Togata runs to you.
"I can't do this alone. Don't leave me, please! I swear i'll be good, i will be always happy to you and you won't even notice my selfish problems. I promise, just please, PLEASE..." Mirio begging after all the yelling, all the bad things he heard... is the prove you needed that he is eating on the palm of your hand.
"I don't need a fucking dependent on my back!" With this, the sweet smile finally fades as he lets out a sad whimper.
"NO! I love you so much, give me just one more chance!" None of the "other times" were his fault either, but he felt as it was.
"I can't, you are destroying me, Mirio...."
"It wasn't the intention..." You turn away and he starts panicking. "I'LL DO ANYTHING, I'M BEGGING!"
"I already told you what i want you to do." You know that you're incisive and painfully killing any sign of joy he once saw.
"Sure, i-i will..." He is a crying mess, just to think that he would have to give up on his favorite person to have you.
"Amazing... Are you crying, love? Aw, don't be like that, shh... I'm sorry, i took it too far. I need to learn how to hide my feelings... shh.... It's ok." You hug him and pats his head, he doesn't stop crying. (this is not comfort and it's not a soft ending for clear reasons)
All the insults spin on his head, as he shakily curls into your chest.
Tamaki:
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"Fairy... really, Tamaki?" The question floated in the air, as Amajiki only stared at his hands.
"S-she is m-my friend..."
Were she inducing him into flirt? Yes.
But did he tried to stop it? No.
You got so mad, watching your boyfriend sit there and watch as his "friend" threw herself to him.
"And because she is your friend, you think you are allowed to flirt with her?" It felt like you were dealing with a child, holding back your anger and jealousy so he don't get hurt.
"W-wasn't flirtying..."
"Oh, right. So how do you call it?"
"C-complimenting my friend..?" He makes himself as smaller as he can and waits, never staring at you.
"Are you playing dumb with me? She was obviously seducing you and you didn't move an inche!" It's so tiring how he can't stand for himself.
"I was being friendly..."
"FRIENDLY?" He flinches, starting to tremble and whisper to himself. "YOU WOULD'VE CHEATED ON ME IF I DIDN'T STOP HER!"
"N-no..." Tamaki hates screams so much.
"LIAR! STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE TOO INNOCENT, IT'S SO-"
You look at Tamaki and he is sobbing, asking for forgiviness but is barely audible. It breaks your heart when he starts punching himself.
The world is all blurry to Amajikis, he hates this part of his personality so much, and you were the only one that he thought understands him, that you understood how hard it is for him, but he is trying his best.
"Tamaki?" You were calling him since you noticed that you were screaming, but he spaced out. "I'm sorry, oh my god, answer me-"
The only one he thought fully understands...
"Sorry, baby!!! Look at me, oh fuck!"
Liar? Cheater? Is this all you have to say about him? Coudn't be more caring with the words?
Is in times like this that we really get to know someone, he ponders.
"I-i-i c-can't d-do this any-anymore..." He then runs for his life.
Amajiki told Mirio and Nejire about everything, and aa the protectors they are, both helped him to avoid you as the month passed.
Came to the point that Tamaki alone didn't look at you anymore, your face alone make him feel anxious.
and that was when you knew that the lovebirds feel apart.
Bakugo
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"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Katsuki was raging, for the third time this week.
"Angel, i would like it better if we sit here and talk..."
"Who cares about what you think?" He is stubborn, you can tell after 2 years of dating.
"Katsuki, stop being immature for a minute." You aren't on the mood to take his drama today, and he doesn't notice that he is crossing a line.
"What about YOU stop being A WHORE, SHITTY PERSON!"
Katsuki is mad at you for posting a pic with your guy bestfriend. His jealousy is getting out of hand, the photo has none romantic appealing.
"You better apologize now." You're firm with him, not backing up even when the little explosions start on his hands.
"I am the one to apologize? Fuck no."
"I literally did nothing wrong and you are screaming, of course you are going to apologize!"
"NOTHING WRONG?" Bakugo walks away so he won't hurt you. "YOU AND THAT LOSER POSTING PHOTOS TOGHETER WAS WHAT? A NIGHTMARE?" he replys to you and proceeds to spit.
"You're... disgusting, you know that?"
"SHUT UP! I'm very dissapointed with-"
"YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!" You suddenly stand for yourself, gaining confidence out of nowhere.
Katsuki is silent. He just heavy breaths and stare at you with seems like fear.
"I DON'T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK TO WHAT YOU THINK!" You yell and he is taken aback by your response, closing his eyes and trying to take more air.
"I HATE YOU! I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE, IT'S USELESS!" You start taking your things to walk away. "I won't insist into a failed relationship anymore."
He can't move.
All those years, he was the one pointing fingers at you, he was the one accusing.
And he doesn't know what to do now.
Katsuki is still upset, and his pride says to stay right where he is and pray for you to come back.
But he is not cold hearted as it seems, he wants you more than anything. Maybe he should give up only this time
Or maybe not.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
No.
YES
NO!!!
YES!!!!!!
By the time he is able to decide, you are already out of his sigh, out of the shopping you guys had agreed to met in, and you are out of your rational state.
Katsuki was not able to find you that day.
Katsuki was not able to fix it.
End </3
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shinsoussimp · 4 years ago
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a/n: i’ve had this idea in my mind for days now so i finally decided to write it. i’m really happy with how this turned out, it might be one of my favorite things i’ve ever written :D
TW: su!c!de attempt, please do not read if this may trigger you
I’ll never leave you
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it was all too much. you couldn’t take it anymore. 
like a fountain filling up with water. more and more water being added every second. but at some point it’ll overflow. 
-----
the view from the top of the tall building filled with random offices was beautiful, you’d have to admit. a wave of calm rushed over you as you looked down, seeing how far away the ground was. maybe this was extreme. a permanent answer to a temporary problem. or even selfish. but you couldn’t handle the pain anymore. you sat on the edge swinging you feet over and letting you chin rest in your hand. in your head this was your best option. you had nothing waiting for you, no one waiting for you. 
except for kuugo.
your mind drifted to the happy times you’d spent with him. but he’d be better off without you. everyone would be. you just burdened him with all of your problems. he has his own agency, he’s a busy man. yet he has to deal with you. this would benefit him, you thought. he would have more time to spend on his work, and you don’t have to be in pain anymore, it’s a win win. right?
you still wanted to hear his voice one last time though. you pulled your phone out of your pocket and brought up his contact. tears pricked your eyes as your finger hovered over the call button. you wanted to say ‘i love you’ one last time to him, then you could do it. you didn’t want to worry him thought so you thought it would be best to make the call quick. you wiped a couple stray tears as you brought your phone up to your ear.
-----
kuugo felt a faint vibration against his leg, prompting him to pull his phone out of his pocket to check what was the matter. he saw your name across the screen and he smiled softly to himself. he knew everything you’d gone through and he cared about you so much, so he vowed to himself that he would never miss a call from you if he could help it. that’s why even now, in the middle of a meeting between a few hero agencies, he mumbles a low ‘excuse me’ before walking over to an empty corner to take the call. 
“hey, kid.” he says into the phone shoving his free hand into his pocket.
“kuugo..” you tried to hide the emotion in your voice but it was still weak, cracking a bit as you spoke. 
“what’s wrong? is everything okay?” he says with concern apparent in his voice, catching the attention of a few pro heros sitting at the table.
“i love you so much. i hope you know that.” even with tears streaming down your face and gasps for air that gave away how hard you were crying, you couldn’t help but smile as those words left your lips. but kuugo was not smiling. quite the opposite. a chill runs up his spine and his hand, once in his pocket, pulls at his tie as he tries to keep calm.
“hey, hey. little one, talk to me. what’s going on?” 
“you’ve done so much for me, i’m sorry for wasting so much of your time but i want you to know that i’ve cherished every moment we’ve spent together.” you felt as if the world was collapsing in on you and you were going to escape. but your last words needed to be with him.
“you’re scaring me. where are you?” he knew about these darker thoughts you had so as you spoke with him, he put the pieces together, and that only made him more frantic, his voice even shaking a bit, “kid you need to tell me where you are.” he was speaking much louder as he paced back and forth in the room, not even acknowledging the fact that the meeting had stopped and everyone had turned to watch him.
“it’s okay. it’ll be okay. i love you with all my heart kuugo.” you closed your eyes and hang up the phone, ignoring his protests coming from the other side of the line. you set your phone back down next to you as you looked back down at the ground. finally you would have peace.
-----
kuugo’s frozen with the phone still held up to his face, in shock and not knowing what to do. best jeanist and hawks stand up and call his name a few time, trying to get him to snap out of it.
“y-y/n..” he mumbled. he couldn’t stop the anger that was bubbling inside of him. why wasn’t he with you? how are you going to do it? how can he stop you? his phone fell out of his hand and he turned around to punch a large hole into the wall before he started pacing again.
“what about him? is he okay?” endeavor asks as he too stood up from his chair, leading most of the other heros to do the same.
“i-i need to find him.” he stammers as his pacing pickes up speed. he can’t lose you. he can’t handle that. 
“don’t you have each other’s phone locations? i know i have to track this fucker.” aizawa says, motioning to present mic. kuugo stops in his tracks as the realization hit him. aizawa was right, he still had a chance. he could find you. he dove towards his phone sitting back against his heels once he grabbed it and started searching frantically. 
“he’s at the akasaka building!” if it was possible, any and all color would drain out of his face as he realized how tall that building is, “he’s gonna jump.” the other heros gasp as the words leave his mouth. he jumps up and bursts out the door ready to sprint all the way to your location before hawks’ hand stops him. he turns around ready to sock him in the face for trying to hold him back before he sees midnight standing behind hawks holding up a set of car keys.
“you won’t get there in time if you run.” she smiles softly, her usual seductive aura is no where to be found, just genuine concern in her voice. 
“let’s go get your man.” hawks says, puffing his chest out. 
-----
midnight sped down the road, swerving in between cars and honking at anyone she deemed was driving too slow.
“jesus, do you even know how to drive?!” hawks shouts as he holds onto the seat in front of him for dear life. kuugo sits in silence, his leg bouncing up and down as he watched the world zoom past him. this didn’t even feel real at this point. he didn’t know if you were okay, if you had already done it or if he still had time. he prayed he still had time.
-----
you stepped off the edge for a second, wanting to take off the expensive watch kuugo got you, not wanting to damage it. as you stepped back up you realized just how beat down and lost you were. you had just been going through the motions, feeling empty inside. adrenaline was rushing through your veins, so much so that the ringing in your ears got louder and louder to the point where you could barely hear anything. you closed your eyes as your head fell back and your arms opened up wide, accepting the cool breeze that moved through the material of your clothing as you took one more deep breath.
-----
the car screeched to a stop and kuugo jumped out, his blood running cold when he saw you standing at the top of the building. you were too high up to be able to hear him so he rushed inside the building trying to make his way to you as fast as he could. midnight and hawks watched you carefully, feeling it would be best if kuugo went alone. they didn’t want to overwhelm you even more.
he ran up the stairs as quick as his body would let him, deciding that the elevator would be too slow with it stopping on random floors. he had no time to waste. after what felt like hours of going up flight after flight of stairs, he finally saw a door with ‘roof access’ printed across it. he flung the door open and right as he did, he watched the love of his life fall over the edge. 
he fell to his knees, his whole body feeling numb. he saw you for a split second, he thought he made it in time, but then you were gone. he couldn’t stop his animal instincts as deep moans and cries ripped through his chest. he had never felt such strong sadness before to the point where he made the sounds most whales do when they’re sad, but now he couldn’t help it. he felt like he had just lost his entire world.
-----
just when all had seemed lost, with kuugo hunched over with his face in his hands, he hears a whistling sound. he looks up to see hawks, with his wings flapping swiftly, and you in his arms. hawks lowered himself onto the roof, now standing before kuugo as the latter tried to process if this was real life or if he had passed out and was dreaming. hawks set you down and kuugo slowly stood up, walking towards you. he reached out and let his thumb run across your tear stained cheek. this was real.
“i’ll give you two some privacy..” hawks says before patting kuugo on the back and flying back down to where midnight stood by the car. kuugo’s eyes roamed your face as his other hand came up to cup the other side of your face. he steps closer to you and softly bumps his nose against your forehead.
“why..?” he whispers. and that one word causes you to breakdown. he wraps his arms around you tightly as you hug his waist in return. he sits back down again, pulling you down with him so you were laying in his lap.
“i’m s-sorry kuugo..” you grip his shirt as you bury your face into his chest. he holds your head, softly petting your hair to help calm you down. 
“please... please don’t leave me, kid. i can’t live without you. please..” he hugs you tighter and burying his face into the top of your head. he memorized your touch, your voice, even your smell because he was so close to losing you. it felt like a miracle that he was able to hold you in his arms at that moment. 
“i-i won’t.. i’m s-sorry. it just hurts so much.”
“i know, i know. i’m here though. i’ll protect you from anything. you have to come to me when you feel these feelings. we can work through them together, okay? you said on the phone you wasted my time, y/n any time spent with you is never a waste for me. it’s a gift.” you couldn’t help but cry even more, his words making you feel so much comfort and warmth that you never wanted to let go of him. 
“trust that i’m saying the truth right now because,” he pulled back and softly lifted your chin up with his fingers, “i need you. you’re my everything...” you quickly wipe the tears still streaming down your face before pressing soft kisses to kuugo’s nose and cheeks. you held your nose to his, just looking into his eyes for a second before wrapping your arms around his neck and shoving your face into his shoulder. he wrapped your legs around his waist and stood up, easily carrying you because you just fit so perfectly in his arms. he kept his hands on your back as he walked, still moving them up and down slowly to comfort you. 
“my baby boy...” he said softly as he kicked open the roof access door, “ let’s go home.”
239 notes · View notes
scatterpatter · 3 years ago
Note
Corren - 1 through 100 - You did this to yourself.
FUCK YOU *UN-IRONICS YOUR ASK*
UNDER THE FUCKING CUT
1. What do they smell like?
Bad. Do you think their party is able to regularly take showers? I thinketh the fuck not. ... Pine and old books when he can self care tho.
2. What is their voice like?
Listen I know Corren, being taller, would be more likely to have a deeper register but you'll tear "tenor Corren" out of my cold dead hands
3. What is their biggest motivator?
Spite.
4. What is their most embarrassing memory?
When he first met his BFF Alondra, he was so antisocial and good at ignoring people that she actually got the impression he might have been hard of hearing. She never let him live that down. (one day I'll finish this fic i promise)
5. How do they deal with/react to pain?
"I will keep all of my pain in here, and one day I'll die." ... Okay but listen he's squishy so he takes like one hit and is bloodied up. Someone get him a healer. Pls.
6. What do they like to wear?
He likes his cloak. Its weighty and soft(well. WAS soft. got a bit of wear and tear these days.) and like. Who doesnt love cloaks.
7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?
Ohhhhh fuuuccck this one's tough. I might have to go with Torvid honestly. While the entire party has had a positive impact on him(and trust me I was this close to picking Alistair), Torvid's been more of the one to call him out on his bullshit and to, oh I don't know, talk about your emotions? Ever??? Yknow BEFORE they become too much to handle and he absolutely breaks down???
8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?
Alistair's cooking.
9. Describe the way that they sleep.
Good luck finding him NOT cuddled up with at least one dog. Tbh he just enjoys cuddles in general.
10. What is their favorite food/kind of food?
FUCKIN. GIVE HIM A GOOD STEAK. THIS BOY IS MOSTLY CARNIVORISTIC.
11. What do they feel most insecure about?
As tempted as I am to say "His cooking", it's actually his singing.
12. How do they like to dress?
"Comfort over flashiness tbh. I gotta go ADVENTURING in whatever I wear after all."
"... Also don't you DARE perceive me as cishet."
13. How do they react to feelings of guilt?
Call him a genie because he will BOTTLE THAT SHIT UP.
14. How do they react to/deal with betrayal?
Denial :D
15. What is their greatest achievement?
Shrike: Killing his dad
Me: NOOOOOO
EDIT: WAIT THIS WAS ANSWERED IN Q99 WHAT THE HECK
16. What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep?
Somehow more of a dick than usual. Snappy and cranky and just. Mrehhh.
17. What are they like when they’re drunk?
Doesn't get drunk often, but when he does I imagine he's actually giggly and a little clingy. It's cute :)
18. What kind of music do they enjoy?
*Opens my Corren playlist* Oh yeah. It's either full edgy alt rock or indie alt "depressed millenial" tracks.
19. Are they right or left handed?
FFFuuhhhhck uhhhh well
Looking over my old art I can't seem to pick a dominant hand(I've even drawn him handling his sniper with either hand???????????) so like oops guess he's ambidextrous.
20. Fears?
The dark, the ocean, dying alone and forgotten, his friends losing their trust of him
21. Favorite kind of weather?
Rain!!!! Especially cool rain like what people often get in fall months.
22. Favorite color?
Indigo!!!
23. Do they collect anything?
Books :3
24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?
Cold weather by far.
25. What is their eye color?
Electric blue!
26. What is their race/ethnicity?
Well his race is a homebrew race known as Marelienth. Uhhh ethnicity? Idk he's from a mountain town way up north *shrugs*
In human aus I imagine him as half-Mongolian half-Norwegian so ayee
27. Hair color?
Black!
28. Are they happy where they are currently?
No :D He loves adventuring with his party don't get me wrong but he still has a lot of trauma to unpack. ... Also he was just possibly broken up with soooo. :/
29. Are they a morning person?
NOPE.
30. Sunrise or sunset?
*motions to above question* Sunset.
31. Are they more messy or more organized?
More organized, actually!
32. Pet peeves?
*unravels a list. It's all shit the party has done. Mostly Alistair.*
33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?
HOOUSIDSJFK- HE- Y-YEAH HE SURE DOES
His amethyst pendant used to belong to his brother, Julian, and he gave it to Corren right before they were separated so you BET it's sentimental as shit and he wears it daily.
34. Least favorite food?
Mecha's usually a great cook but one time trolled him with some absurdly spicy curry he couldn't handle and he's never forgiven them.
35. Least favorite color?
Hmmm. Maybe... yellow?
36. Least favorite smell?
He spent a year with his party in a damp cave and no showers, so uh. I'll give you a guess.
37. When was the last time they cried?
Literally last night in our game's timeline :D Full breakdown and everything!
38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried?
Torvid :D He was there to comfort
39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured?
One time they were in combat and Corren took a few hits and was down to about 2hp or so. He had a temporary level thanks to Kieran, which boosted his HP a little bit. When he teleported them to a safe town, though, well... Torvid was waiting for them so that's cool. But uh. Yeah that temporary level wore off then and there, dropping Corn Cob to exactly 0hp and he just- flopped down face first in the snow and started dying then and there KJNDKLFNSLKN
40. Do they have any scars?
:)
Do you want to talk about the scar over his eye from a fight he got in with his dad or like. The scars on his limbs from the time he was literally experimented on.
41. Do they struggle with any mental health issues?
:)
Undiagnosed+Untreated Anxiety, Depression, DPDR, PTSD, just to name a few
42. Do they have any bad habits?
Running away from his problems, definitely.
43. Why might someone dislike them?
He's a pretentious nerd. He can be a dick if he doesn't care about you.
44. Why might someone love them?
He's an adorable nerd! He's a hopeless romantic and oddly enough an optimist. He's passionate and driven too!
45. Do they believe in ghosts?
Well ghosts are like- a canon proven thing in his world sooo. Yeah.
46. Is there anyone they would trust with their lives?
His party. Well- most in his party.
47. Are they romantically interested in anyone?
Nethyl :)
48. Are they dating/married to anyone?
He's dating Nethyl and they're in a happy and healthy relationship :) *politely ignores canon*
49. Do they like surprises?
NO >:(
50. When is their birthday?
Heroya 5th! I think. I don't wanna check, assume it's this.
51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday?
"You guys celebrate your watchdays?"
Jokes aside, he mainly just treats himself to a nice dinner and a new book or something :)
52. Do they have any family?
Two older siblings: Julian and Mila. His parents are Andreas and Fanya!
53. Are they close to their family?
... *Coughs*. He was close with his siblings, but Mila died and he hasn't seen Julian in 30 years. Was close with his dad but last time they saw each other, they fought and Corren might have killed him so. ... Yeah. :/
54. What is their MBTI type?
FUCK uh. I... N... T... J? INTJ. Sure.
55. What is their zodiac sign?
In Sekrezia: The eagle
In our world: Uhhh. Idk. Capricorn????
56. What Hogwarts House would they be in?
Uhhh. Ravenclaw??? I know almost nothing about HP :/
57. What D&D alignment are they?
THIS ONE'S EASY- lawful neutral!
58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?
:)
Used to have typical nightmares, nothing special. Nowadays though he often dreams of being underwater. Not drowning, though. It's... weird. He doesn't like those.
59. What are their views on death?
He's a necromancer lol.
Death is inevitable, though. It's a necessary part of life. Death is not an entire loss, though. One lives on in the memories others carry of them, in the love they hold in their hearts. Death is complicated, but that's okay.
60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?
Alistair :)
61. When bored, how do they pass time?
Dog time :)
62. Do they enjoy being outside?
... Ehhhhhh?
63. Do they have an accent?
Technically??? It's an accent from where he's from but like. I just barely tweak my own voice when I rp him so? Damn Corren I'm sorry you've been cursed with east coast dialect.
64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?
"Damn who's the rich bastard here?" (cake is kinda a delicacy in their world- not like elites only but not NEARLY as common as it is here)
65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say?
Reassurance mode to whomever he's with. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm okay. Remember what I told you, death is a natural part of life, yeah? I don't have any regrets, I'm okay... Just. Thanks. For giving me a chance. Thank you. Thank you."
66. How do they feel about sex?
I SWEAR he's allosexual. I'm just bad at writing allosexuals.
67. What is their sexuality?
He doesn't really know how to pin it down, so he just calls himself "queer". Definitely not straight, that's all he knows.
68. Do they become squeamish at the sight of blood?
AHAHA no. He's hella desensitized
69. Is there anything that they find really gross?
Skulking cyst. Look it up at your own volition. It's. NO.
70. Which TV Trope(s) best describes them?
It's 12:21 in the morning and I'm NOT about to scroll through a bunch of tv tropes just. just. NERD stereotype.
71. Do they enjoy helping people?
Yyyyes? Only really if it's the people he cares about.
72. Are they allergic to anything?
Bullshit.
73. Do they have a pet?
WINGTHARA!! HIS SKELE-DOG!!!
74. Are they quick to anger? What are they like when they loose their temper?
Oh yeah he's all bark and no bite. He usually just throws a little fit and/or yells.
75. How patient are they?
More than he should be :/
76. Are they good at cooking?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?
Oh yes he insults the others all the time. No particular favorite, he likes so spice it up.
78. How do they act when they’re particularly happy?
Stim. Stim. Stim. His eyes get all sparkly and he. He.
79. What do they do when they learn about other people’s fears?
He will do everything in his power to assure they won't ever have to deal with their fears alone- You afraid of spiders? It's his job to get the spiders from now on so you won't have to deal with them.
80. Are they trustworthy?
Oh yeah. He's like Rapunzel- doesn't break promises.
81. Do they try to hide their emotions? Are they good at it?
Oh yes he tries to hide it. And yes, he's awful at it.
82. Do they exercise regularly?
Yes and no? No like- exercise regimen, but the amount of travelling and fighting they do is just- a workout in and of itself
83. Are they comfortable with the way they look?
Yeah! He's cute and he knows it baybie!!!
84. What are some physical features that they find attractive on people?
He,,, he likes someone who's physically stong,,, Muscles are,,, aaaaa >///>
85. What kind of personalities do they find attractive?
Someone he can nerd out with :)
86. Do they like sweet foods?
Impartial to it. He won't turn sweets away but he's not crazy about them either.
87. What is their age?
43, the equivalent of- I think someone in their mid 30s?
88. Are they tall or short or somewhere in between?
He's 6'8" :) Which is actually normal for his race
89. Do they wear glasses or contacts?
Sometimes! I like to think he has reading glasses or something like that.
90. Do they consider themselves attractive?
HE'S CUTE AND HE KNOWS IT.
91. What is their sense of humor like?
Julian tainted his sense of humor and now he finds the most dumb shit hilarious. Think very millenial/GenZ humor like "I wish I was Jared, 19"
92. What mood are they most often in?
"I don't get paid enough for this" or Fear.jpg
93. What kinds of things anger them?
People who don't keep their FUCKING WORD. Oh and like. Yknow. Half the shit his party does.
94. Outlook on life?
Again he's??? Oddly an optimist? In the "Things will get better and that is a fucking THREAT" way, but still optimist!
95. What kind of things make them sad/depressed?
Talk about his family :) Or the fact that his boyfriend might want him dead :)
96. What is their greatest weakness?
He's squishy as fuck. He goes down easy.
97. What is their greatest strength?
He's extremely intelligent and great with magic and his sniper!
98. Something that they regret?
Not doing more to stop his brother when he tried to resurrect their sister
99. Biggest accomplishment?
Either convincing an entire town his name is Torren or accidentally convincing some very OP people that he's secretly a dragon.
100. Create your own!
FUCK YOU I SPENT LIKE 2 HOURS ON THIS. NO PROOFREAD. IVE ALREADY DESIGNED CORREN'S AND NETHYL'S HYPOTHETICAL KIDS. ANYWAYS THEY'RE TWIN IRINAGA AND I'VE NAMED THEM AFTER THE DNDADS TWINS: THEIR NAMES ARE LARK AND SPARROW.
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onyxiana-is-obsessed · 5 years ago
Text
Disillusioned | Mirio Togata x Reader
AN: This one’s got a lot going on! Normally, I have the reader’s synopsis (like age, quirk, and hero name) at the top, but this time, I’m gonna put it at the end of the story! Pronouns: She/her. Length: 4.3k words.
PART 2 HERE!
WARNINGS: Anxiety attack, gore (I describe a murder in detail) POOR TAMAKI TT^TT I'M CRUEL.
ANGST! PURE ANGST UP AHEAD! I’M LOOKING TO BREAK HEARTS HERE!
Summary: Mirio and Nejire find Tamaki during a panic attack and he tells them it’s your fault! But you’re innocent and your own boyfriend won’t believe you.
Tumblr media
(y/f/n) was dating one of the big three, Mirio Togata, and pretty much everyone knew about it. She seemed to bring the best out in him. Everyone always mentioned how they had rushed the relationship, they only knew each other for a few months before they started dating. At first, both Nejire and Tamaki thought the same, but as they got to know the (f/n), their minds were changed. They didn't believe that anymore, the two were practically meant to be.
So what went wrong?
(f/n) was always the sweetest, she was encouraging, supportive, and always striving to bring out the best in her friends. She was always cheerful, doing her best to bring smiles to her friends' faces. Whether it would be with silly stories, terrible (or good) jokes, with compliments- it didn't matter. It seemed like her goal in life was to make her friends laugh and smile.
So why? Why was she doing this right now?
"I-I c-can't!" Tamaki yelled, tears spilling down his cheeks that were bright red, his heart beating faster than ever before as he clung to (f/n)'s arm. "P-please do-don't ma-make me!" He begged, tear-stained cheeks getting redder if it was possible. The (h/c) haired girl scoffed as she walked Tamaki to a nearby alley.
"God, get a hold of yourself!" Shoving his hands off of her arm, she pushed him, making his back hit the wall. He cowered away from her, pulling his shaking arms into his chest in an effort to comfort himself.
(f/n) had brought Tamaki to a nearby cafe, telling him she just wanted to hangout. He went, against his better judgment, where she'd asked him to bring her some napkins, in a rather full cafe. On his way back, he accidentally bumped into a waitress carrying drinks, which immediately spilled. His anxiety spiked, apologizing profusely as everyone stared at him. He looked towards (f/n) who stared at him in shock... no... her face showed shock. Her eyes showed amusement. He panicked, frozen, unable to move or run. The waitress asked if he was ok multiple times, but he wasn't able to answer. Finally, (f/n) approached the two, hiding Tamaki behind her, holding his hand, as she explained to the waitress that he was just a bit shy. She quickly took him away from the scene, where he was thankful. That's not where it ended though.
Then she demanded he goes back in and gets their orders. He was terrified, already being humiliated once. When he refused, she commanded him to go back and his anxiety built up too much, finally ending in a breakdown.
So here they were. The girl glaring at the taller male, who was crying, shaking, terrified out of his mind. This wasn't her... she was so supportive and she... always protected him like Mirio. So why was she doing this to him?
"I'm leaving." She muttered, turning to exit the alleyway. Tamaki's heart sank as he fell to the ground and grabbed her hand.
"N-no! W-wait! D-do-don't go!" His chest was tight, it felt as if there was rope tightening around him, constricting his breathing. Everything was starting to close in, the walls and the sky. He couldn't breathe, his heart was beating so fast it felt like it was going to explode, his mind was fuzzy, his body shaking uncontrollably, and the only source of comfort was (f/n). B-but she was leaving him!
She scoffed, a scowl taking over her face as she kicked his shoulder, knocking him back. The look of pure fear in his eyes would've made anyone stop and wrap their arms around him. But not (f/n), she just glared at him.
"You're pathetic." With that, she left. Sobs racked Tamaki's body as he clutched his chest. His extremely shaky hand reached for his phone, where he desperately searched for Mirio's name. Due to his panic, it took him longer than usual. But he finally got it.
"Hey, Tamaki!" His cheerful voice came through. All Tamaki could do in return was let out a loud sob, his words caught in his throat. Hearing his distressed best friend, Mirio's mind immediately went into defensive mode as he tried to get his friend to talk. "Tamaki?! W-what's wrong?! Where are you?!"
"H-h-help!" Was all the dark-haired boy could say as he covered his face with his arm, feeling so pathetic, alone, and terrified.
~**~
(f/n) frowned as she checked her phone again, not one text, NOT ONE. Mirio, Tamaki, and Nejire all hadn't responded to her all weekend. She tried, desperately, to talk to them, but no one responded. It even seemed as if Tamaki had blocked her. She shook her head. Maybe it was wrong, they were busy students, with their work studies and everything. So they didn't always have time to talk to her, but she'd been busy this weekend too. She'd been helping her (parent/guardian) out with some errands and sadly, she didn't have time to go physically meet Mirio. She tried calling him a few times and every single call was sent to voicemail.
She walked to school, putting on a smile, in an attempt to make herself feel better. She wanted to calm herself, but she had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. She went to her locker, normally where her friends would be waiting for her. They weren't there. She didn't have a class with them, since she was a second year.
She finally saw them at lunch, sitting in their usual spots. She immediately felt her heart calm when she saw Mirio, he just always did that to her. No matter how bad her days would be, no matter what turmoil she felt in her heart, he always soothed it. Just... his wonderful smile. She approached them, but her smile was replaced with a confused look when she saw Tamaki look up at her and immediately start shaking.
"T-Tamaki? Wh-what's wrong?" Both Nejire and Mirio turned with an icy glare, that shook the girl to her core. "H-hey g-guys. Di-did something happen to Tamaki?" As she tried to approach the terrified male, Nejire stood up, holding her arm out to (f/n).
"Don't come closer." She practically growled.
"W-what's wrong?" Mirio stood up, a glare of his own trained on the young girl.
"How could you?"
"What are you talking about? What's happening?" (f/n)'s confusion only frustrated the two standing in front of her. "Tamaki?" The (e/c) eyed girl look towards her shy friend, but her vision was blocked by both Nejire and Mirio.
"Stay away from him."
"What happened?!" (f/n) finally yelled, having enough with the cryptic messages.
"You know! You took him to a cafe on Friday, humiliated him, and then just left him alone in an alley during a panic attack!" Mirio yelled, but a quiet yell. He knew the last thing Tamaki needed was more eyes on him. (f/n)'s confusion morphed into horror.
"What?! No, I didn't!" She argued.
"Why would Amajiki lie?" Nejire asked, her hands on her hips.
"I-I'm not saying he lied! I-I'm just s-saying it wasn't me." The girl stuttered, scared of the two in front of her.
"Where were you on Friday?" Mirio asked.
"After school, I went to help my (parent/guardian) with (insert errand), I was gone all weekend. I told you guys!"
"Amajiki says you asked to go to a cafe before that." Nejire countered.
"I didn't do anything! I haven't seen him since lunch on Friday."
"Don't lie to me, (f/n)!"
"I'm not lying, Mirio! Tam-" The girl tried to go around the two to approach the male, who let out a squeak, making his two friends grab her arms and push her away.
"O-ok!" (f/n) yelled, as panic spread through her body. She held her hands out defensively, as if to protect herself, and backed up, pulling her arms from their grip. "I-I won't g-go near him."
"Why did you do it?" Mirio asked, the glare still in his eyes. She only looked up at him, desperation and fear in her eyes.
"I-I didn't do anything." Both Nejire and Mirio could still remember how badly Tamaki was sobbing. It took them hours to calm him down before he could partially explain what happened. They'd never seen him in that state, not only did it infuriate them, but it scared them too.
"Stay away from him and me too," Mirio said.
"Mi-"
"Stay away." He warned. The girl looked away in anger, clenching her fists as she ran out of the cafeteria, bringing attention to herself. Of course... no one went after her.
"Sh-she's gone, Amajiki," Nejire said, in a much calmer voice, rubbing Tamaki's back, who was still shaken up from the incident on Friday.
~**~
The next few days, (f/n) didn't bother the group. They'd only seen her in the cafeteria where she came to buy lunch and left. Well... not really even lunch. She only bought (bag of chips/fruit), nothing to keep her healthy. They could see how what had happened affected her. She was pale, her eyes were red, she wouldn't look at anyone, and no matter how much her other friends tried to reach out, she'd shrug them off.
Of course, Mirio felt just as awful. He was practically in love with the girl. She made him better. All her support and encouragement made them better. Sure, she encouraged Tamaki, but never to push him to extremes. And she would, just like in the cafe, hide his body with her own if he ever felt overwhelmed. Now, she was just gone. It all ended so suddenly, so viciously.
If only... they'd paid more attention.
~**~
On Wednesday, the three saw (f/n) walking through the hallway. She didn't look at them, but they could see her face. She was pale, she had dark circles under her puffy red eyes, and her nose was red, as if she'd been constantly wiping it with tissues. She... looked so broken, but neither of them approached her.
However, on Thursday was a completely different story. They were getting ready for class, when (f/n) came rushing through. They all looked up at her, shocked when she looked back at them. She had a cruel smile on her face, her eyes locked with Tamaki, only getting bigger. His eyes widened in fear, he recognized the monstrous look in them! Before anyone could stop her, she zoomed past them, but not without the three noticing she had something in her hand.
What... was it?
~**~
The next week and a half, no one saw of her. Neither of the Big 3, none of her friends, no one. It's safe to say that the Big 3 were beyond shocked when they saw the news Saturday night.
"A young UA student by the name of (y/f/n) was found in an alley by two young women. The girl's body had been completely mutilated in a large garbage bag. Her murderer cut off her fingers, cutting them into multiple pieces, cutting her arms and legs at every joint, and cutting her torso into numerous pieces. Her head was decapitated and thrown into a separate bag to seemingly preserve it. Here's is what the witness had to say." The news anchor reported.
"I was walking past the alley with my sister. My quirk allows me to sense if something's wrong and when I saw that trash bag, I just knew something was wrong. I went to open it," The woman choked back a sob. "I o-opened it... and the first thing... I saw was the poor baby's head. Sh-she was so young! HOW COULD THEY?!" Her sister was right next to her, crying. The news reporter next to them continued to explain the situation.
"The police were called onto the scene immediately, where they called the forensics team. Although, young (l/n)'s body had been mutilated, it seemed as if she had bruises and cuts that had healed over a period of two weeks. Police suspect that she may have been kidnapped and tortured by a villain. According to her teachers and (parents/guardian), she had been here the whole time. Police are currently on the lookout for a villain with a quirk to clone or transform into someone else. That's all, back to you, Yuno."
Tamaki, Nejire, and Mirio's entire world shattered. Especially Mirio. It... wasn't her. The girl that hurt Tamaki, it... wasn't (f/n).
So who?
The school offered grief counseling for all of (f/n)'s classmates and friends. Mirio, Tamaki, and Nejire were also offered the same and they chose to accept.
~A few Days Later~
The three were walking to (f/n)'s favorite cafe (not the one where she humiliated Tamaki). On the way there, Mirio spotted a familiar head of (h/l) (h/c) hair, pointing it out to his friends. The three immediately followed after the figure, who realized she was being followed. She took off, making the three chase her.
She entered an alley, where she zigzagged through the buildings, until she finally came to a halt. Her stamina must've been something else, because all of that running and her breathing was just fine.
"(f/n)?!" Mirio yelled, as the three stopped behind her, exhausted from the running. The girl turned around, with a bright smile on her face.
"Mirio! What's up?" Almost immediately the blond teared up, attempting to approach the girl, who's smile fell.
"Tch tch," She treated him like a dog. "Don't touch." Her (e/c) glanced at Tamaki, who could feel the fear return to his body. This was definitely the girl who humiliated him. "Tamaki baby! I missed you!" Her cheerful voice held a bit of amusement in the back. Slowly the cheerful look melted into that of lust... or what seemed like it. "Not gonna lie Tamaki, you're cuter on your knees, especially with that look of fear in your eyes... ooh that riles me up!"
"You're not (f/n)!" Nejire declared as the three took a step back. (f/n) would've never said something like that, something so disgusting.
"I'm not? Well... then who am I?" The three were defensive, especially Tamaki.
"Who are you?"
"Well, I think it's pretty obvious, I'm (f/n)!"
"No, you're not. (f/n) would've never done something like that." Mirio declared.
"Oh yeah? You seem like you know, (y/f/n) so well... but ever heard of a disguise? Did you know, some people can lie." She mocked. "Now, I'm well aware the term is new to you, so let me explain it. Some people, not all, can do this thing called lying. That's where they hide the truth from others. Ever wonder... if (f/n) was a liar?" She laughed.
"No, I would know it. She... never lied to me." Mirio said, with full confidence.
"Oh yeah? You didn't seem to believe her when she told you, truthfully, that she wasn't the one who hurt Tamaki." Mirio's heart clenched at those words. Not only him, Tamaki and Nejire too. "You know, Suneater. I thought you'd be smart enough to tell the difference. I guess anger isn't the only thing that can cloud your judgment. Fear can too."
"What did you do to her?" Mirio demanded.
"(f/n)? Oh, sorry. That doesn't concern you."
"Where is (f/n)-chan?" Nejire asked.
"Well, you heard on the news right? I mean if you really want to see her, I can try to help, but I guarantee that you'll throw up was you see the liquid goo that she's become." The villain laughed. "You won't even recognize her. Well... maybe the head. Did you know they placed her head in a separate bag AFTER they cleaned it? We wanted the police to be able to recognize her." Mirio clenched his fist- he was livid!
"Calm down, Lemillion. You can't fight me." She warned.
"Watch me!" He countered.
"Mirio Togata, hero name: Lemillion. Quirk: Permeation. Neijire Hado, hero name: Nejire Chan. Quirk: Wave motion. Tamaki Amajiki, hero name: Suneater. Quirk: Manifest." The villain stated.
"So you know about us, big whoop," Mirio responded, still glaring at his "ex". "Plenty of other people know us too! That doesn't stop us from kicking their asses!"
"Now tell me, what's my quirk? Maybe if you know, you might have a chance at defeating me."
"Probably cloning or something," Nejire answered, readying herself.
"Maybe. Maybe my quirk lets me create clones, maybe it lets me alter my appearance, maybe it lets me bend time, space, and reality. Maybe, I'm not even real. Maybe you're in a coma Mirio and you can't even distinguish reality from fantasy."
"We're here!" Nejire responded. "Amajiki and I know we're here."
"Yeah, you know you're real. How can Mirio be sure? Maybe all of you are in a coma and you're having your version of this dream, or I've brought you here in fantasy land to punish you. Or maybe," she smiled at Mirio as she touched her chin. "I've always been a villain." It was a hard thought to admit, but all three were just so damn sure (f/n) wasn't a villain! She couldn't be! She just wasn't like that.
"H-how dare you hurt an innocent girl like that!" Mirio raged, followed by Tamaki and Nejire. The villain scoffed, rolling her eyes.
"Maybe if you were a better boyfriend, maybe if you were better friends- better HEROES, maybe, just maybe... you'd notice that your precious (f/n) was being targeted by villains, but no." Her icy glare and words struck their hearts at an indescribable level. "I think you should just give up on your dreams now. Any other hero would've been able to tell that wasn't (f/n). I would know, I've tried that trick a few times and only you fools fell for it. Nicely done, if I do say so myself." She saw that look of anguish cross their face again. "Oh! Don't feel bad now! You helped me accomplish my goals! Hey! Maybe you'd be better villains than heroes! Ever think of that?"
"W-we'd never!" Nejire responded through her tears.
"As I said, I guess fear and anger both cloud judgment. Maybe if you weren't so angry at what I'd done to Tamaki, you'd be able to see that your (f/n) was telling the truth and that she was in danger." The villain repeated.
"You killed her." Nejire remarked.
"Let me tell you what really happened, Big 3."
~Flashback~
(f/n) ran out of the lunchroom and kept running until she was out of the school building. So what if she missed some classes? She didn't really care. She... didn't do anything! She was innocent! Why would she ever hurt Tamaki? He was her friend, she always protected him. The girl rubbed her arm as she walked down the street, tears streaming down her cheeks. As she walked past an alley, an arm pulled her in.
Her mouth was covered when she tried to scream as she was pulled deeper into the alley. Once the assailant was happy with the distance between them and the main street, he pressed the girl against the wall, letting her look at him.
(f/n)'s eyes widened as she stared at glowing indigo eyes. The man was taller than her, extremely handsome. He had long black hair, pale skin, and a really, really pretty face. His hand gently wiped away her tears, but the girl winced at the touch.
"Shh, it's ok, love." He whispered, leaning in closer. He was already pressed up against her, it didn't seem like he could get closer. She couldn't really tell what he was wearing, but out of the corner of her eyes, all she saw was black. His clothes matched the darkness of the alley. No doubt... he was this close to conceal her body. More tears spilled from her eyes as she felt something stab her side. She looked down to see a syringe and immediately attempted to use her quirk to push the male away. "I don't think so, beautiful." Slowly, her vision went dark and she fell into the male. The villain smirked as he picked her up and carried her away.
~**~
"You're awake." (f/n) heard, making her heart sink. She opened her eyes and looked down, she was strapped to a bed, with that same guy leaning against the wall.
"P-please... do-don't hurt me." She begged, her voice hoarse. He smiled, approaching her and gently running his thumb across her lips.
"Trust me, I wouldn't. But that's not up to me. Now... maybe that could change if you joined us."
"U-Us?"
"Our little villain group." (f/n) shook her head as tears slipped down her eyes.
"N-never!"
"Listen, hero. I know your dream is to be like All Might, but even he knows when to quit. Look at you, I can do anything to you. Now if you were to become a villain... I could let you out right now. Work with us and we'll keep you safe. At least... we'd believe you if you told us you didn't hurt someone." (f/n)'s mind immediately went to the incident between her and Mirio earlier.
"I-I didn't hurt him."
"I know, miss pretty, I know. Now look, a villain- a stranger- believes you but not your boyfriend. What a shame." His finger slid up to her forehead, moving her hair out of her face and pushing it away from her neck.
"Pl-please don-"
"Shh..." He whispered, watching as the determination from her eyes died. No one would come to save her, she knew it. He kissed her temple as a sob escaped her lips. "Don't cry now, I like it when beautiful girls like you do that. I usually like my victims on their knees." He laughed, making her face contort as she tried to move her head away from his finger. His tongue slid across his lips as he leaned closer. "Don't worry. You won't even know what happened."
She felt something pinch her arm and knew it was another syringe. Her vision started to get darker and her hope faded along with it. No one was coming to save her. No one.
"I love you Mirio... p-please h-help me..."
The man pressed a kiss against the unconscious student's cheekbone, her tears slipping into his mouth. Slowly, his body transformed into her.
"Now I can look just as cute as you." He whispered, walking out of the room as another man entered with a multitude of tools.
~**~
Mirio could feel his stomach turn as he heard the villain explain what really happened to (f/n). It was clear that she enjoyed their turmoil because when she saw their faces she laughed.
"Now, maybe I'm lying about all of that. Maybe I'm (f/n). Maybe (f/n) never existed. Maybe what you all dealt with was just a clone, you don't know what my quirk is. Well, you can't be sure. I'm a villain, you can't trust what I'm saying. I don't think any of you three will ever know if that body the police found was a clone or actually (f/n). I'll let you suffer from that forever." Silence reigned through the alleyway, making the villain laugh as he turned and walked away.
It didn't matter... either way... they were too late.
What if? What if they'd believed (f/n)? What if Tamaki had looked into the real one's eyes? What if... they'd just trusted her word. In her entire time being around them, she never gave them a reason to not trust her. So why did they just... throw her away like that? If... if they hadn't... what if she was still alive?
"Hey, guys!" The girl skipped towards them. "I got a great joke! Wanna hear it?"
"Of course!" Mirio responded with a bright smile.
"What did one plate say to the other?"
"Wh-what?" Tamaki asked.
"Dinner's on me." The three burst into laughter, watching as (f/n)'s eyes lit up with joy. This was what she loved. Making people laugh and smile, it fueled her own happiness.
**
"GUYYYYSSSS!" (f/n) squealed running to the three, jumping into Mirio's arms. "GUESS WHAT!"
"What's up, (f/n)?" Nejire asked, with a smile of her own.
"I passed my test!!! I got 100%!" She cheered, her face red from the happiness. They all looked down at her, their genuine smiles showing nothing but adoration for her.
"You did great, babe!" Mirio added, kissing her cheek.
**
The group sat at the table, waiting for (f/n) who had told them not to buy any food today. They were just talking to themselves when they saw the radiant girl skipping towards them.
"Someone's happy!" Nejire commented, making the girl nod.
"I made you guys lunch today!"
"Oh, you didn't have to!" The blue-haired girl responded as (f/n) slid them their boxes. they opened it up, smiling wide. It was their favorite food.
"Woah! Babe, you really didn't have to." Mirio commented.
"I know, but you guys are such great friends. I love you all and I wanted to do something nice for you." She smiled. Tamaki took a bite, smiling shyly.
"It's great, (f/n)."
"I'm glad!"
**
The three stared at the empty seat in front of them at the lunch table. Usually... that's where (f/n) would sit. She'd sit there and tell them jokes or something. She always kept the conversation going and truth be told, even Tamaki would agree, her smile... her radiance... it was brighter than Mirio's. She was truly a blessing, something God or the Universe, whatever, had sent to them. They... just didn't realize it. Not until it was too late.
Full Name: (y/f/n) Age: 16 Quirk: (y/q) Hero Name: (h/n)
Full Name: Unknown Age: 19 Quirk: Morph; able to morph into any animal or human granted they can see them clearly. Transformation can be perfected once the user has acquired the target’s DNA. Villain Name: Anonymous/Anon Villain Rank: S
408 notes · View notes
colorseeingchick · 4 years ago
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Red Rose, White Rose
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Summary: He’ll do anything he has to, in order to make her happy. 
Warnings: Hanahaki AU, main character death, angst 
Word Count: 2k
A/N: I know it never mentions Tamaki by name, mainly because this piece was written to be any ‘him’ you feel fit. So if you see this for a different character, that’s okay too, I’m curious who you see so just let me know :) I hope you all enjoy <3
He settled down into his seat, hair falling over his eyes, protecting him from the world- if I can’t see them, they can’t see me. 
He only peaked out from the side of his hair when he heard her sweet laugh resonate in the room.
She was like the sun. She was a breath of fresh air after being in a stuffy room. Bounce locks of chocolate brown hair swaying from side to side as she tossed her head, mocking the rough boys who playfully called out to her, making small talk. 
She could talk to anyone. Everyone was captivated by her charms, including him. 
He didn’t have many friends. None, to be exact. Family was, in name, there. But also questionable. All he had were the hills of greenery and wild flowers to roam and hop in- his safe space. 
Winter months like these were hard for him. But that’s why she was all the more radiant on days like these. 
He never talked to her. But sitting next to her, he heard all her conversations- and through listening, his heart fell deeper and deeper in love. 
She loved rainbows and sunsets. Her favorite food was potato pancakes. She loved listening to music and dancing. She was funny, kind, charismatic. 
His soft soul never stood a chance. Sitting by the window in his attic room, his mind drifted to thoughts of her dancing and laughing, watching a sunset with him in the embrace of summer’s warmth. 
He sought happiness. He sought bliss. To him, she was exactly that. Everything he didn’t have. Life was bearable with dreams of that future. Would life with those dreams coming true be enjoyable? 
He was willing to take the risk to find out. What did he have to lose? Life had been a neutral experience so far. There was no joy for him to lose. 
How should he confess? He wanted to do everything right.
Suddenly, a memory of a conversation she had came to mind. 
“I love white roses! They’re my favorite,” she told her friend while a boy leaned in on their conversation. 
“Oh yeah? Why white?”
“Because they’re different! And special. You don’t see them as often. Everyone likes red roses. But white, its different. And isn’t that which is unique so beautiful?” 
Having always seen himself as the odd one out, this had made his heart flutter. Being different, standing out- it was liked by somebody. That was the first time he had felt accepted in his grey, dull life. 
It was with this memory that he decided he would confess to her with a white rose, at the end of spring-the last day before break would start. It would be perfect. 
***********************
Scouring his hills high and low, he sought a white rose. Despite all the time he had spent buried in the underbrush of the natural terrain, he never noticed that roses were not among the flowers that blossomed. 
He quickly sped away to the marketplace once he realized he wouldn’t be able to find a rose before school had started. The search began at sunrise, but the sun had made its way up, comfortably resting above, warmth brushing earth. 
In town, his shoulders loosened upon seeing a bundle of white roses out at a flower shop’s stall. His breath caught, however, when he saw the price. 
He barely had enough money for lunch, which was very little as is. But he couldn’t even afford a single white rose. He turned his head, scanning for another shop that would carry flowers. No such luck. 
Why are they so expensive?
“I’m sorry, son. Roses are such a rarity around here, and white roses are even rarer. That’s why they’re priced like that,” the old man running the shop kindly explained. 
His shoulders sunk. What was he going to do now? His chest began to tighten. His breath felt like it was caught in his throat. He coughed, hoping to clear his throat and be able to breathe better. 
Was this panic? He had never felt anything as intense as this before. He didn’t like it. 
“I think you have enough money for a red rose, how about that?” The old man chimed. 
“T-thank you, but only white will d-do. Its her f-favorite.” 
“Its for a girl, huh? You really like her?”
“Yessir. I d-d-do.” 
“Tell you what then, You pay me for a red rose, but you take a white one. Sound alright?” 
His face lit up, elated. This elderly man’s kindness had saved him. This small act of kindness made him feel warmth all over. He wondered what other kindness’s the world had to offer. 
“Yes, thank you sir!”
He put all his money on the table, and gently picked out the brightest, biggest blossom of the bunch. Holding it gently, he decided to hide it in his backpack carefully once he got to school. He wouldn’t have any money for lunch, but he didn’t mind at all. 
“Good luck, son. I can tell she really means a lot to you, if you were so set on getting her favorite.” 
A blush settled over his face, and for the first time in a long time, he smiled. 
************
At long last, the day had finally ended. Jitters flooded his legs and fingertips. His time to confess had finally come. 
He saw her, brown hair gently being tossed over her shoulder as she packed her bags, her friends waiting at the doorway. 
Fingers trembling, his bangs hid his flustered expression, pulling the white rose out from the top of his bag. Heart pounding out of his chest, he approached her seat. 
At first, upon his approach, she didn’t acknowledge him. Perhaps she didn’t notice him. Should he say something?
“...H-Hi.”
She puts on a shocked expression, as if she didn’t see him there the whole time. 
“Oh, uh, hi…”
He had her attention -- now what? All words had escaped him. 
“I just wanted to say thank you. In my boring life, you have made it worth living. Your laugh is like the song of an angel, and your smile is like the sun on a rainy day. I know we’ve never talked, but admiring you from afar has kept me going for so long. I wanted to be able to show you how much you mean to me. I want to bring you all the joy and bliss you bring me. I want to be happy with you. Not just because of you.” 
But as I said, all words had escaped him. 
“Th-this is f-for you… I kn-now white roses are your f-favorite.” There it was. His stutter. It always got the better of him, but at a time like this?
Though only a few words, the action said everything it needed to. 
The flower shook in his hands, awkwardly outstretched. 
“Um… I’m sorry but ah- I don’t really like white roses. Red roses are the prettiest, I think.” She gave an uncomfortable smile. 
He didn’t notice though. Everything had gone blurry. 
“I’m so s-s-s-sorry.” It was the only thing he could say before his feet naturally started to carry him out the door, past her friends who had watched the nightmare play out. 
“Oh my God did he actually ask her out?”
“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard him talk.”
“Poor thing, she could’ve at least taken the rose- I saw that they coasted an arm and a leg. I feel bad…” 
But the comments all fell on deaf ears. He felt like he was drowning. His feet that took him out the door sped up, carrying him to his hilly field- his best hope at a safe space. It was windy that spring day.
His mind wasn’t working. There was only pounding in his chest and deep gasps for air as he crashed, resting against his ‘nap tree.’ The flower was still in his hand. Some of the petals had fallen. 
He sat and thought. Should he go and try and exchange the rose for a red one? No. she wouldn’t take it anyways. It wasn’t the rose that wasn’t good enough for her. It was him. 
Its okay. He could just go on admiring her from afar, right? Nothing new. It didn’t matter. But why did his heart feel like it was on fire? Why were tears stinging his eyes and staining his cheeks? He coughed, seemingly incapable of catching his breath. 
He was heartbroken. That’s why. The one person he had invested so much of his heart and soul into wanted nothing to do with him. He could fantasize within the safety of the unknown, but now reality had knocked him down to earth. He was a lost cause. A sad, pathetic excuse of a person. Did he think he could really end up with her? Stupid. 
Sniffles, sobs, and coughs were covered with the sound of leaves and branches blowing in the wind. But the sniffles, sobs, and coughs all became more aggressive. 
In the midst of his breakdown, his eyes trained on the rose, now tear covered. Did she like white roses? Or red? Maybe she didn’t even like roses at all. Maybe everything was something he created for himself to pretend he knew her. Not that it mattered. He couldn’t afford any of it. 
But the though of a red rose haunted him. What if he had one of each? Lost in his thoughts, the physical pains of tears and coughs were overlooked. 
Suddenly, by some miracle, a red rose appeared in his hands to break his thoughts! It was a beautiful, bright red rose in full bloom. Upon first glance. 
He gently brushed the petal, only to watch the red smear. 
It was a white rose. 
The red was blood covering it. 
A wave of shock and fear flooded him. Where did it come from? His body answered as he heard a horrible wheezing sound. Coming from his mouth. 
A few petals only came up this time. But he knew. They were coming from him. As moments passed, the coughing only got worse. More and more red and white pearls fell from his mouth, blood dripping from the sides. 
The more he tried to breathe, the worse it got. White stained roses were all that surrounded him. 
To him, the worth of the flowers around him now exceeded the worth of his own life. 
“I wish I could’ve brought her as much happiness as these flowers would…”
He contemplated crawling home or to a hospital, but he decided against it. It would only give his parents a bill they couldn’t afford to pay, and its not like anyone would really miss him anyways. He accepted his fate. 
He would much rather take a nap against his nap tree in his only happy place. A nice long nap. 
His coughing became like white noise as he watched the sun set. As the air in his lungs were gradually replaced with thorny pearly white roses, he became light-headed, vision fading. Before the pink and orange sky disappeared for good, he swear he saw her, dancing in the field, smiling at him, one last time. He smiled as the world darkened. 
*******************
She watched the popular boy sit on the empty desk next to her, pulling out a large bouquet of white roses from behind him. She gasped, elated.
“My favorite!” She took them graciously. 
“But they’re so expensive. How could you afford them?” In the height of summer on their last day of school, she assumed the prices would still be high. 
The boy rubbed his neck. “Actually, I cut these roses myself. There’s this beautiful rose bush at the top of this hilly field, right under this huge oak tree. I don’t know how it got there, but it’s a really a sight to see.”
She smiled and gently smelled the roses. They smelled fresh
and metallic. 
But she dismissed it. 
“That’s wonderful. You should take me there, to that hill. I would love to see it myself.”
She giggled, gaze lost in the roses in her hands. 
“Thank you for these, really. White roses really make me so happy.”
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shozaii · 5 years ago
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Hey can I request something with todoroki where his s/o break up with him cus endeavour makes them and when shoto finds out he goes mental at his dad then goes to get his s/o back thank you sorry for bad grsmmer I’m not English ❤️
(a/n): hello! this took me a while and for that, i apologise :( i hope this is a good read! i also wrote something similar to this, and you can read it here.
requests are still open!
masterlist
^^^
always.
todoroki shouto x reader
warnings: angst!
ps: this setting is probably around 3-4 years of them dating, so that the legit emotion would kick in :P
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your heart couldn’t take any more than this. 
regret, pain, anguish. you felt weak to the bone. you didn’t want to get up anymore. you wanted to stay on the ground. 
no one was going to lift you up anyway, right?
“shouto would never say that! i-i’ll only believe it when i see him!”
“and how exactly can you prove that he hasn’t done so?” endeavor boomed, his tall figure’s shadow looming over you. “even it was not, i would never hand him off to someone like you.”
“he doesn’t take orders from you, endeavor,” you growled underneath your breath. “i can’t believe i’m saying this to you but-,” you paused, slowly looking up to his face. ”todoroki shouto is not your carbon copy. he is a free bird, living to be the hero he has always wanted to be.”
his eyes were glowing with every ounce of hatred towards you. you were right. shouto had his decisions. he knew what he was up to. you even asked him about your dad and he said;
“my father has and never will have anything to do with you, love.”
so why this? why has endeavor made his way to you, claiming that his son doesn’t want you anymore?
when shouto could have done so?
...but then again, what if these were his decisions?
“what... what did you do with shouto?”
“he has requested me to be here, to tell you about this matter. you can run along now. i have even picked the one for him to marry in the future. which, of course does not involve you.”
you could feel your heart sinking slowly the chamber you grew away from. 
“i want to see him.”
“no! you are not allowed to step foot into the todoroki household anymore! now leave before it has to turn ugly.”
that felt like your very last straw. you wanted to run away, you wanted to scream. you wanted to do so many things.
you wanted shouto.
taking the hint that you had already understood, he walked away from you, never once looking back. why should he care, anyway? why did it have to matter to him?
why did this have to happen when shouto was far away from you? he promised he was going to return to your arms. did he plan all of this earlier? was he really done with you? did nothing else about you mattered to him anymore?
“shouto,” you said shakily. “at least tell me what i did.”
hands on your head, you sobbed. once again, your body brought you down to the grass. you heard someone shouting from the back; but it didn’t matter.
nothing mattered.
^^^
when you woke up, your eyes opened to the familiar ceiling.
the common room.
“they’re up!” you heard someone whisper-shout.
were you out for that long? what happened?
“y/n!” a girl’s voice called out to you softly.
“give them some space to breathe!” someone was chopping the air with their hands.
your eyes were wide open. you jolted up, taking a good look at the faces who were around you. “guys? what am i doing here?”
“you were with endeavor. d-don’t you remember, y/n?” midoriya asked.
“endeav-,”
the memories filled your head, one by one. the confrontation. the ground. his glowing blue eyes. the hatred.
the tears.
the unofficial break up.
moments later, tears flood your eyes once more, pouring out without a warning. here you were, thinking it was a nightmare. maybe when you woke up from it, shouto would be in your arms, calming you down. telling you that you had nothing to worry about. and then you would fill him in with kisses, he’d giggle and hold you closer.
“where is shouto?” you trembled.
“y/n, he...,” the green haired boy began. he hesitated. what was going on? why were you crying? why did you faint? so many questions ran in his head but he had to continue anyway.
“he went out of town, remember? and today endeavor came here to talk to you. in private.”
“i don’t think he would be coming back to me, though.”
“what?!” your friends around you screamed.
“he broke up with me.”
^^^
most of class 1-A have already completed their internship in various cities, including you. 
everyone, except for shouto. it was a day later than most of his classmates. he went along with it - but without you, it was painful.
he couldn’t call nor text you during the internship. those were the few things he had told his s/o before leaving. you understood because the whole class had to comply with that, too. no one was allowed to contact anyone else, either.
with you promising that you’d wait, he smiled. he was glad to have someone as understanding as you.
which was why he couldn’t wait until he had met you.
the train ride back to his home was a blur. he was exhausted from the extensive work he was given. it was part of his father’s agency, anyway.
expected? maybe.
he checked the time. 
it was already 12 a.m.. assuming you were asleep, he had to resist the urge to call you. what’s worse was that he only got to see you in the evening. he had a few errands to run at his home before heading to the dorms.
in less than 30 minutes, he had reached his destination. he grabbed his bag and left the train. a few more minutes and he would be lying in bed, satisfied.
not as satisfied if the first person he saw was his father.
but whatever he was never desiring seemed to come along his way. there he was, at home. his siblings were long asleep, he reckoned. “i’m home,” he mumbled, earning a hum from him.
as he entered the room, he was bewildered.
natsuo and fuyumi were right in front of him. fuyumi placed a finger on her lips; telling him to be quiet, while natsuo signaled him to close the door behind him.
“it’s about y/n. we got a call from your friend, midoriya.”
his eyes widened, slamming the door. “what happened?”
^^^
shouto felt as if ten thousand icicles had stabbed through his chest. 
he swung the door open. “you could’ve done anything else and you have even decided to interfere what i love most?!” he growled, palm starting a low flame.
“who? them? are you serious?! their quirk matches terribly with yours and i don’t see any compatibility between you two!”
“how- what kind of a sick person are you?! obsessed with power, fame, strength. have you ever focused on your loved ones?”
“you don’t have to remind me of the past. i don’t want you to fall in love and leave your hard work behind.”
“i think the real person leaving their work here was you. you, endeavour, have made a decision to say things that i would never say to them. to think that i would let you face them without any warning. stupid. i’m such an idiot. to allow myself to talk about them in front of you.”
“your relationship makes me feel sick, shouto! this is not the right time for you, so stop dreaming of it.”
“don’t tell me what to do!” he screamed. “don’t you dare tell me what to do! forget your future plans for me and let me do the honors. stop pestering me!”
tears flowed down his cheek as he gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. the little flame he had on his palm died down.
“do you actually think they wouldn’t set foot in this house?”
“shouto, forget about them. this topic is over.”
“answer me, father,” he spat. “do you?”
“absolutely.”
“do you actually think i would marry someone of your choice?”
“this is ridiculous. you’re behaving ridiculously, shouto.”
“do you think they haven’t met mother?”
endeavour’s eyes widened. “already?”
“as long as i get the green light from her, your words mean nothing to me.”
“no it does n-,”
“quit it.”
shouto grabbed his bag, said goodbye to his siblings, and left the house with his needs.
“this break up would be in your wildest dreams - heck - possibly in the deepest pits of hell.”
^^^
some of his classmates were still up. 
they didn’t really get any sleep after your breakdown.
“they’re in here. i’m sure they’ll be very happy to see you again.”
“thank you, midoriya.”
as he left shouto to his own, his knuckles hesitated to bring themselves to your door.
the pain he had inflicted was not only on him, but also you.
knock, knock.
“i’m doing fine, midoriya. the door’s open anyway.”
shouto turned the door knob slowly, revealing a dark room. the only light source was from the big, bright moon.
he saw a little figure staring at it, sobbing quietly.
“y/n....?” he called out softly, careful not to startle you.
you looked up, your eyes adjusting to the darkness ahead of you. but it didn’t have to wait for too long.
“shouto! shouto, oh my god, sho!” you stood up clumsily, your heavy legs bringing you to your boyfriend.
he grabbed hold of you, peppering countless kisses on your tear stained cheeks. it all happened so fast - your heart couldn’t believe it.
you let out a muffled scream into his shirt.
“i’m here now.”
two pairs of eyes were drowning themselves in an infinite amount of tears. as shouto held you, he brought the both of you down to your knees. he still didn’t let you go. it felt so right.
two pieces of a puzzle fit together like never before.
“none of this was your fault, love,” he let you go, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. “you did nothing wrong.”
“your f-father told me you sent him here and i- i didn’t know what to do, i forced myself to not believe it,” you said in between sobs. 
“what? no, he has nothing to do with us. it’s my fault. he had to be there when i told natsuo and fuyumi about you. i didn’t want that to happen - let’s just say his presence didn’t mean anything to me at that moment. and for that, i’m sorry, y/n. i promise you, this would never happen again.”
your eyes met his. “breaking up with you was never on my list,” he continued. “i guess he’d planned this earlier.”
“shouto.”
“i’m listening.”
“i love you.”
“i love you more.”
“always.”
“always,” he whispered.
-------------------------------------------------
(a/n): MJKJDNDOWJD i hope it was good!! :(
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monsoonblooms12 · 4 years ago
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Detectives By Chance: Chapter 5- Buried Remembrances
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A/N: Hi, how is everyone doing? Honestly I don’t know how I am doing. I had a massive breakdown just now and my mom is still yelling at me. Everything has just been a mess. So, please ignore any mistakes, and I am really sorry if it is not good. I am just not in the best state of mind rn and if I don’t post it, I will never get it done. Sorry for the ramble and I hope you still enjoy reading whatever this is 💛
Series Summary: It was supposed to be a usual weekend for the four. Coffee, fun, friends and love. But an unexpected case changed their lives in a way they had never imagined. A mystery - a murder - many secrets… Will Ethan, Pooja, Alexandra and Mark, be able to survive? Or will the circumstances twist and break their lives forever?
Pairing: Ethan × f!MC (Dr. Pooja Sharma)
Disclaimer: PB owns most of the characters. I only own the OCs and my MC.
Word count: ~2K
Triggers: Mentions of blood, murder
But the memories that hang heaviest are the easiest to recall. They hold in their creases the ability to change one's life, organically, forever. Even when you shake them out, They've left permanent wrinkles in the fabric of your soul.
Ethan, Pooja and Alex were stupefied on seeing Mark's condition. He was the jolliest man they have ever known, his happy-go-lucky personality and on-point sense of humour acted as a charm on the surrounding people. This was one of the qualities which made him an amazing doctor because he could relieve patients from their sorrows and pain and make them open up.
But seeing him like this, so broken, so fragile made them realize that a smile sometimes hides a thousand scars behind it.
"Mark, listen to me!! I cannot see you like this. Please calm down. I am damn worried" Alex said, keeping tears at the brink.
"Lex, I love you. You are my strength, my power. Hell, you are my everything. Don't cry. If you cry, I won't be able to tell what I want to. And the pain will again kill me inside." Mark pleaded.
"Okay, I will try to keep as calm as possible. But, promise me, if matters start getting out of hand, you will stop." Alex said.
"Yes, Mark. If someone knows something about painful childhoods that is Ethan and me. So if you can't talk about it, you won't talk about it. We are heck worried about you, man!" Pooja said.
"I Promise. If I feel like having a nervous breakdown, I will stop. But please hear me out. These memories have stayed hidden for so long that now they feel like a burden. I need to get them out."
Then Mark began continuing his story,
"Remember when I told you in the car that I had a brother?"
"Yes, you said that. I suppose your pain was caused by your brother's death?" Ethan asked
"Ha Ha Ha" Mark let out a bitter laughter. "No, that man is not dead. Yes, my pain is caused by my brother but not by his death. By his deeds."
"He was my favourite person in the world. He was my best friend, my study partner, the person who would listen to my endless rambles. He was the only person who understood me and my thoughts. Or, at least that's what I th-th-thought."
Mark paused, face pale. Something was not right.
"Mark, are you alright? MARK!?" Alex exclaimed.
Mark was slowly losing consciousness. He said slowly, "P-P-Please t-t-take m-me-home... I-I c-can't stand b-being here."
The three sprang into action. Ethan helped Mark in the backseat of the car. Alex sat beside him, placing his head on her shoulder. Pooja sat in the passenger seat. Ethan got behind the wheel and drove to their penthouse.
After reaching, they seated Mark and tried to change the topic for him to feel better. The tension cooled down, and Mark felt better.
"You all are the damn best people in the world. I could never imagine anyone to be so concerned for me. Everybody used to see a happy face and think I am fine. But no one understood my pain like you three do." Mark said, gratitude and love shining in his eyes.
"But, I need to complete my tale. Now that I am feeling better and that we are home, I am sure there will be no more troubles."
Mark continued his story.
"Also, did I tell you that my brother was my inspiration to become a doctor? He was the first doctor in our family. When he was in Med school, he used to tell me the things he learnt. He built that interest for medicine in me."
"Wait a sec!" Pooja stopped him abruptly. "Stop me if I am over-stepping, but your brother is a doctor?! But, But-" She couldn't complete the sentence, but everyone understood what she was thinking.
"Baby, we should not jump into conclusions. Let Mark complete." Ethan stopped her from putting out her thoughts.
"Yes, my brother is or at least was a doctor. B-Before he, he..." Mark stuttered.
"Before he was arrested."
The three gasped. Mark's brother, was arrested?!
"Wait what, he was... arrested? But why? " Alex said, surprise in her tone.
"He, he was arrested for prescribing the WRONG DOSES OF MEDICINES TO HIS PATIENTS" Mark shouted, anger boiling and tears welling up in his eyes. "HE FREAKING MURDERED AT LEAST 3 OF HIS PATIENTS BECAUSE HE PRESCRIBED THEM SUPER HIGH DOSES OF THEIR DRUGS" The tears left his eyes.
"A-And he didn't stop there. He tried to k-k-kill our dad. He...He tried to inject a heavy dose of benzodiazepine to our dad." Mark completed. The horror and shock was evident on the other three's faces. Mark's brother, tried... to kill his dad? But why?
"But why in god's name did he ever do that?" Ethan asked.
"No one knows. The police questioned him for days, months, but got no reply. The only thing he used to do was laugh on their faces and tell them that he will get his revenge." Mark said.
"The day he was arrested, since that day he was considered dead by our family. But the news had a devastating effect on our family. Patients called, hurled abuses, threatened to kill. The neighbours threatened to throw us out. With my dad being sick, me and my mom had to bear it all. All this broke her. So once I got into residency, I took my mom and dad out of that horrid place and brought them to NYC with me."
"But their joy lasted less. My mom, she died within six months of transferring. My dad stayed a little longer. T-The last day of my residency was the last day of is life. And you know what were his last words?"
"What?" The other three asked in unison.
"Don't become Miles" Mark says, tears flowing down his eyes. But, as the three observed, a sense of calm spread through his face. As if a weight had been lifted, from his soul.
"So your brother's name was..."
"Miles, yaa."
"Mark, I hope you are feeling better now. Getting that all out, it must have been a hell of a pain." Pooja asked, remembering her painful childhood.
"Yes, it is. God, I needed to do this. Now I am feeling so fresh, so new. I can finally leave those dark times behind me and start leaving a new life." Mark spoke with a flicker of new hope, new life.
All the while, listening to Mark's story, Pooja was thinking about her pain. Her tale, her own story. She saw how calm and peaceful Mark was after getting it all out. Even after trying, she couldn't remember him being this peaceful, anytime before. She realized that today or tomorrow, she had to take it all out. No matter how hard she tried to bury it, it would come out.
"Mark, do you think, you-your brother could do..." Alex asked with a bit of uneasiness.
"Nothing impossible for a man who tried to kill his father. And also, I am damn sure if the card brought us to my childhood neighbourhood, it would lead to his private clinic. Only he had his practice set up there." Mark scoffed.
"We should look into that. But first we need to check on the questions we had written in our notebook. We need to complete the research as soon as possible. Mark, Lex, can you stay here for the night, we could finish it today itself if you two could be here." Ethan said.
"Yaa, we surely can. No, we would love to. You know, whose is a better tension-calmer than me, hmm? I am a humour boss." And with that, old Mark was back.
"Sure, Mark, sure. But maybe the points to the best sarcasm goes to Lex?" Ethan chuckled.
"Ohh, Ramsey. That's what makes me and Walton soulmates." Mark said, trying to pull Alex into a hug.
"Mark, SHUT UP! You know I hate hugs. I hugged you earlier because I was hecking worried. Now, hush!" Alex said, trying to hide a giggle and spectacularly failing
After a few more moments of laughter, the four set to work. They thought they would not find much about their questions on the 'net, but what they read shocked them more and more. As they got the information, they started writing it down below the respective questions.
1. Who is Mr Davis? Why was he targeted?
Richard Davis. 43. Investment banker. Originally pursuing Medicine, later went on to pursue his interest in investment banking.
2nd part: No answer
2. Why did no one from his associations never come to question about him?
No answers
3. Why did the murderer target Pooja and Alex? How does he know them?
No answer. But speculating that the murderer is Miles Danvers.
4. How was the murder committed?
Acute cyanide poisoning. Throat slit afterwards.
5. Addresses.
Address No. 1 checked, the MedMinders Store. Not checked Address 2 but is possibly Miles Danvers's private clinic.
6. MedMinders Drug Store
Checked. Valuable information received.
7. D.I.B.S.15
No Idea.
"So far, so less. We are beautifully lacking on information." Mark remarked.
"Agreed. Agreed. But wasn't this man supposed to be high-profile?" Alex said
"Maybe high-profile with full pockets. Not fame." Pooja said.
Ethan however, did not partake in the discussion. He was busy thinking something.
"Ethan? What are you thinking?" Pooja asked on seeing his furrowed eyebrows."
"I think I might know what D.I.B.S.15 means," Ethan said
"What? I mean, how? That could mean anything" Alex said, visibly surprised.
"No, not anything. I think it means, 'Davis, Investment Banker, Scam 2015" Ethan put out his thoughts.
"D, understood, I.B, understood, but S and 15? How did you deduce them to be scam 2015?" Pooja asked.
"I remember reading about it. It was one of the biggest investment scams ever. And it was speculated that some high-profile investment banker was behind it. But the real culprit was never caught." Ethan laid out his thoughts.
"So, this man is a fish of the deep waters. He is so much more than what we thought." Mark said
"And that also means that if somebody had come to know about it, then he had enough enemies. This mystery is getting tangled with every passing moment." Alex said.
While talking and discussing possible theories, they looked at the clock. 2 at night.
"Oh, dear! We have work tomorrow. God, let's get some sleep, otherwise we will be like living zombies in the halls tomorrow." Pooja said, giggling.
The four tidied up the living room, said their goodnights and went to sleep.
The nightmares began again. Pooja couldn't sleep an ounce. She was too afraid to close her eyes. The memories terrified her.
Enough. No more nightmares. No more suffering. No more sleepless nights. She was tired of feeling so powerless.
"Ethan, Ethan" She gave him a jerk.
"What is it, Poo? Are you okay, is it the nightmares again?" Ethan woke up with a start.
"I need to tell you. All about this. I cannot bear it any more." Pooja said.
"I am all ears, baby. Tell me everything. If this can make you sleep, I am ready to wake all night to listen to you." Ethan said, pulling her in his arms.
Enclosed in his arms, she laid it all in front of him. The way her mother was murdered. The way she was kidnapped when she was only 11. The terror she felt when she was all alone. The horror when she saw the bloody knife. And the heartbreak and pain she felt when it was found out to be her aunt, her mother's sister was behind all it. The disgust that she felt towards her when she revealed her sinister plans, her hunger for money.
At last, everything was out. As if she was free. As if now, there were no troubles in her life. But what happened till now was only the taste of a sinister plan. The actual dish was yet to be served.
PS: If you have come this far, I am truly grateful to you. I just hope to be at a better place the next time and be okay. But I will stop this ramble now and I hope you have a great day ahead💕   
Tags: @bbrandy2002 @kaavyaethanramsey @ohramsey  @hopelessromanticmonie @trrfanaddict @nervoussaladsludgeopera @imonlybibecauseofethanramsey @lovablegranny @bellcat2010 @gkittylove99 @kingliam2019@3riche @chetachisblog @starrystarrytrouble @arcticrivers @aylaramseycarrera @drariellevalentine @mvalentine​ @aestheticartsx​@angela8754​ @schnitzelbutterfingers​ @ao719​ @choicesstan1 @nikki-2406​ @neotericthemis​ @openheartfanfics​ @choicesficwriterscreations​
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supergirl-writingz · 4 years ago
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Kidnapped Part 2
B!D deals with recovery.
Note: the doctor being named dr grey isnt actually like mer or lexie i literally just watch too much greys and couldnt think of another name haha also THANK U FOR BEING SO PATIENT W ME im really proud of this fic tbh and i hope u guys like it:) remember requests are always open
Warning: trauma, anxiety, therapy
It’s been about one week since you were rescued. You were doing okay. Everyone was trying to convince you to see someone, to talk about what you went through. You didn’t get why. You realized you have been through something tragic, but wouldn’t it be easier to just put it in the past? 
Physically, you still had a long way to go. You were still cooped up at the DEO and you would be for a little bit longer. You had bruises everywhere, 2 broken ribs, a concussion, and a broken bone in your foot. But Lena assured you that you were healing properly. You trusted her.
Your least favorite part about everything, was the way people were treating you. They treated you as if you were glass, and if they spoke to loud or even held your hand, they would break you. You didn’t feel broken and you didn’t get why everyone wanted you to be. Lena was the only one who would tell you things how they were, straightforward with no holding back. You appreciated it. 
Lena walked into the room, “Hey hun can we talk?”
You nodded, “Of course Lena what’s up?”
Lena sat at the edge of your bed, “Darling I think you need to see someone, you-”
“Not you too” you interrupted rolling your eyes, “I’m fine, I don’t need to see anyone”
Lena was patient with you, with a calm voice she said, “Y/N you can’t keep bottling up your emotions, it’s not healthy. If you don’t let this out you’re gonna have a breakdown. You’re not fine and thats okay.”
“I am fine” you snapped at her.
“Y/N, you are scared to sleep without sedatives and you haven’t talked about what happened to you at all. Let me help you, please talk to me, or Kara or Alex or a specialist. Please”
You turned your head away from her. You were embarrassed but it was true, you were scared of going to bed without them.
“Don’t sedate me tonight, I’ll sleep just fine”
Lena sighed, “Okay”
As she walked out she turned around and said, “You know we’re all just trying to do what’s best for you right?”
You didn’t answer. Lena walked out looking sad and defeated. You felt bad, she’s helped you so much. But you were tired of people saying you weren’t okay. You thought about sleeping tonight without the sedatives, truthfully you were nervous but you didn’t tell anyone. Tonight was Kara’s turn to sleep in your room, and she always made you feel safe. 
Later that night, around 11, you finally fell asleep after tossing and turning for a couple hours. 
All of the sudden you woke up with a start not knowing where you were. You were screaming and your heart rate was through the roof. Kara instantly got up and rushed to you.
“Y/N baby it’s just a dream! You’re okay!” she said calmly but loud enough so it would get through to you.
It didn’t help. You were starting to hyperventilate. Kara put her face directly in front of yours.
“Look at my sweetheart, breathe like I do” Kara said, breathing in and out slowly for me to follow.
You looked Kara in the eyes and started following her breathing. 5 minutes later you were breathing normally. Lena and Alex came rushing in, someone must have called them.
“Baby what happened?” Alex asked with a concerned tone. 
Tears were building up in your eyes, “I- I was back there.. in my dream”.
“The room where it all happened?” Lena asked. You nodded, tears starting to come quicker
“It was so real, I could feel every punch, every kick. It was like I was back there.” you said, at this point you were sobbing. 
Alex came close to you and put her hand to your cheek, “You’re safe now Y/N, he can’t hurt you anymore”
You pulled Alex closer and cried into the crook of her neck. While Kara was strong and comforting, there was something about Alex that made you feel powerful and in control. She was such a good directer at the DEO, even if things in her life were bad. Even when everything was going wrong, she had control. You needed that. You needed to be in control of your emotions, but you didn’t know how. You realized now everyone was right, you weren’t okay. But you still didn’t like the idea of seeing a therapist of any kind. You just couldn’t imagine talking to a complete stranger about things you can’t talk about to the people closest to you. 
You started to calm down and stopped crying. You looked up at Lena.
“I’m so sorry Lena”, you said.
“Darling you have nothing to be sorry for” she replied softly.
“I was so rude to you, you were just trying to help” you replied guiltily.
“You’re struggling little one, whether you know it or not, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. After what you’ve been through, we’d be more concerned if you weren’t struggling” Kara said.
“We just want you to feel better and we want you to know you have our constant support” Alex said.
You looked down and smiled softly. You didn’t know what you would do without these people. You didn’t think therapy was for you, but it seems like it would make them feel better, and who knows maybe it would make you feel better too. 
“I’ll see someone”, you said quietly, “if you guys really think it will be good”
Alex smiled and said, “We’re only asking that you try”. 
You got in a couple more hours of sleep before day time had come and it was too bright to sleep. You heard a knock at the door and looked up to see Lena and another woman you didn’t recognize. 
“Hey hun, this is Dr. Grey, she works with people who have been through trauma” Lena said, trying not to overwhelm you.
She smiled a bright smile and said, “Hi, it’s nice to meet you”
You took a breath and remembered how you told Lena and your sisters you would give it a try. 
You reached out your hand and said “Hi, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you too”
Dr. Grey shook your hand then told you that Lena or your sisters could stay in the room, or it could be just them. You decided to give it a try alone with Dr. Grey. Lena understood and wished you good luck before leaving. You took a deep breath, talking to this stranger was making you feel anxious. You and Dr. Grey started talking, and quickly you felt more comfortable. You guys didn’t talk much about the kidnapping, she mostly just wanted to know your home and social life. You told her pretty much everything, from your sisters, your friends, Lena, and school. Dr. Grey was pretty easy to talk to. The only time the kidnapping did come up was when she suggested that you talk to your sisters or Lena about what happened. She said if it was out in the open, you might feel better. She made it very clear though that you should wait until you were ready. And just like that, your hour session was over before you knew it.
“Thank you Dr. Grey” you said.
She smiled warmly, “So we’ll be meeting again?”
You returned her smile and nodded. 
About 2 weeks later, you were sitting in your bed at the DEO. You have been seeing Dr. Grey daily and it was helping a lot. All of the sudden Kara walked in and you smiled at her asked her to bring Alex and Lena into the room. Kara smiled and nodded, walking out of the room to get them. A few moments later, the three women walked in. 
“So Dr. Grey thought that I should talk to at least someone about what happened, other than her. And I trust you guys more than anyone, so I want to tell you guys” you say, starting to feel a little anxious.
“That’s very sweet darling but we don’t wanna push you into talking about something you’re not ready to talk about” Lena said concerned.
You smiled, “I’m ready”, and they nodded.
You told them everything, from you walking home from school, to the guy grabbing you, to your surroundings, and on and on. You told them how they wanted to know who Supergirl was, and you shot Kara a warm look almost saying, ‘This isn’t your fault’. Kara gave you a small yet guilty smile. You took a deep breath as you started to talk about the torture. Your hands were shaking so Alex grabbed them into hers. You didn’t even realize you were crying until Kara wiped a tear from your cheek. You told them everything... you told them the beatings, about the whips and taser. You told them about the hunger, and how cold it was. You told them how you were so hopped up on drugs, you couldn’t even remember how you got there. 
“The scariest part was when I lost hope, I truly thought I was gonna die there” you said. You finally looked up at them, Kara was crying just as much as you were. Lena and Alex had some tears too, but you could tell they were trying to be strong. You grabbed Kara’s hands and looked her in the eyes.
“But you saved me Kara, you’re the reason I’m still here” you said softly.
Kara pulled you into a hug and you felt her warmth and comfort, which then turned into pain from your ribs.
“Kara.. too tight” you said chuckling.
“Sorry” she laughed immediately letting go. The four of you sat there in silence for a while, enjoying each others company. Dr. Grey was right, you did feel better putting it all out there. 
A few weeks later, you were making great progress. You were still having nightmares, but not every night. The anxiety meds you were taking were starting to help with the panic attacks too. You were still at the DEO, but you were starting to walk around though, with a boot and crutches. Your ribs were almost healed and your concussion was all gone. 
You were doing great with Dr. Grey too. The only thing she was concerned with was that you didn’t want to leave the DEO. Of course you wanted to be at home, but you couldn’t get yourself to step out of the building. You felt safe in there. You had this fear that the man who took you would be out there, even though you knew he was in custody. Everyone tried to get you just to go on a simple walk outside, but your anxiety would kick in before you even got the chance. Today was going to be different, today you were determined to go outside. You haven’t been outside since Kara flew you to the DEO the day of the kidnapping, and you were barely conscious.. but today was different. 
You asked Kara, Alex, and Lena if you could all go on a walk. They gave a little surprised look but didn't say anything, they probably didn’t want you to overthink it, but they realized how big of a deal this was. You guys were having a normal conversation, walking through the DEO. You stopped when you reached the exit. You felt Kara give your hand a little squeeze, letting you know that it’s okay. You took a deep breath, opened the door, and walked outside. 
You were surprised as you felt the fresh air in your lungs. Everything looked greener than you remember. You spent so much time in the DEO, that you forgot there was life outside of the grey and dark building. You looked around at all the people, talking and laughing, and you were amazed at how good it felt. You quickly started to cry and turned back to your sisters and Lena.
“Oh baby why are you crying?” Alex asked softly, “Do you wanna go back inside?”
These were happy tears. 
“I’m finally free from him” you said smiling, wiping the tears from your face. 
They all smiled at you and were so proud of your strength and perseverance. You had a lot to work through still, but this was a break through. This was the first time since the kidnapping, that you were 100% sure that you would make it through this. You pulled them into group hug, silently thanking them for never leaving your side.
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justarookiewriter · 5 years ago
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Prom Night
Pairing: Diana Prince x Reader
Summary: It’s prom night and your plans to spend it with your “boyfriend” are cancelled when Diana asks you to help fix her dress which leads to an interesting turn of events to say the least.
Warnings: Mentions of an abusive relationship, name-calling.
Author’s note: This fic is based off of a dream I had a while ago but I did change it up a bit because the dream was kind of all over the place. This is also my first work here on tumblr so I would really love some feedback from you guys.
Key: y/d/n = your dad’s name
Word length: 1,583
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“There,” your mother gave you a smile as she locked eyes with you in the mirror. She had just finished styling your hair for tonight and she couldn’t help but think how proud she was of you; this was your first night out since the incident. “You look beautiful, sweetheart. Michael is going to love it.”
You gave your mom a tight lipped smile as you unconsciously tugged on the sleeves of your hoodie. You didn’t want to risk getting anything on the dress in fear of what Michael would do. He had gifted it to you weeks ago and… made sure you didn’t wear it until you were supposed to so you didn’t ruin it and you’d be damned if you messed it up now.
Truthfully, you didn’t even want to go tonight but you didn’t have the heart to tell her that. Out of all your siblings, you were the only one who had showed any interest in these milestones and she wanted to make sure you had the best night of your life. You remember the way her eyes had lit up when you told her that prom was a few months away and you couldn’t crush her spirits by telling her that you didn’t want to go.
“I wish I could stay to see how beautiful you look in the dress, but I really must be going. This is an important night for the company.”
“I know, mom. It’s okay, really.”
Your mother gave you another smile before pressing a kiss to your forehead as she rushed to get her next words out. “Okay, Diana will be here soon to pick you up. She’ll be staying the night too. Take lots of pictures for me and make sure you’re both back before midnight. I should be home sometime before then. Have fun and I love you.”
“Love you too, mom.”
You released a breath as the door shut behind her and let your face rest in your hands, careful not to mess up your hair. This was just great. Your date to prom was somebody you thought you loved and could care less about while the girl you actually wanted to go to prom with had stuck you in the friendzone. God, you just wanted the world to swallow you whole.
“Guess I better finish getting ready.”
✯ ✯ ✯
The sun was just starting to set over the horizon when you finally heard a knock on your door. It was a gentle knock and had it been anyone else at the door you would have assumed you were hearing things, but Diana always knew just how much power to use to gain your attention. It was one of the reasons you fell for her; her ability to be sweet and gentle and powerful all at the same time.
You opened the door with a smile, your heart fluttering at the sight of Diana in front of you. At least, until you saw her dress and you didn’t have time to suppress your giggles or your words. “What are you wearing?”
Diana gave you a frown as she looked down at her dress before tilting her head at you in confusion. “I do’nt know what you mean? It’s a dress. Is there something wrong with it?”
“No, no, nothing’s wrong. It’s just… it’s not necessarily a prom dress.”
“There are… specific dresses for prom?”
You released a chuckle as you saw the look of confusion on her face. Her eyebrows were furrowed together creating the smallest of creases on her forehead and her lips were formed into a slight pout. By God, she looked adorable like that. One of these days your heart was going to explode from how cute she was.
“Kind of,” you said, doing your best to fight off your upcoming blush. “But it’s nothing to be worried about. It’s just a dance.”
A very important dance that I’d much rather skip… or at least spend with you.
“I am not worried,” Diana spoke drawing your attention back to her. She had a smile on her face and a gleam in her eye that oozed so much confidence you couldn’t help but be jealous. How did you ever manage to make a friend with someone so confident when you were just… you. You sighed internally. Diana deserved so much more than you in a best friend. She needed someone to match her level of confidence; someone who wasn’t you. “But still, I would like a more appropriate dress. Would you mind helping me, daughter of y/d/n?”
Your breath caught in your throat as Diana gently wrapped her hand around your wrist and gave you that smile that you loved oh-so-much. You stared up into her beautiful blue eyes wondering if this was all a dream or if Diana was really leaning down to kiss you.
Wait… what?
Your mind was swimming in overdrive as you attempted to process if any of this was actually happening or if you were just going through some kind of self-induced mental breakdown. Your eyes searched hers and your heart pounded against your ribcage as Diana’s lips inched closer and closer to yours.
But as fate would have it, the kiss was just not meant to be.
Just as her lips were about to descend upon yours, your phone began to blare through the room with a familiar ringtone making you jump away from Diana. You tried to ignore the hurt look in her eyes as you scrambled to answer your phone. You released a quiet breath before sliding your finger over the screen and pressing the phone to your ear. “Hey, Mike.”
“Bitch, where the fuck are you? You were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago. I can’t walk in without your dumb ass; I need your dress to compliment my suit,” you flinched as you heard the building anger in his voice and you knew that he was clenching his fists in an effort to keep his cool.
“I’m sorry, it’s just that -,”
“I don’t want to hear any excuses, bitch, just hurry up and get your ass here… or else.”
The call ended with a click before you could respond and you released a breath you didn’t know you were holding when it was over. How did you two end up like this? Everything had been perfect and then it all just came crashing down. You hadn’t even realized you were crying until you felt Diana’s hand on your cheek, her thumb wiping away your tears.
“He doesn’t deserve you, you know,” she whispered, her free hand pushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear before coming down to gently rest on your hip. “Anyone who dares to talk to someone as sweet as you like that shouldn’t even have you in the first place.”
“You don’t know him like I do, Annie,” but did you even know him in the first place? A person doesn’t just change from the sweet and caring person you’d known since you were kids to a mentally abusive self-absorbed lunatic in the span of a few weeks. Deep down, the rational part of you, the part that Michael had slowly been destroying, knew there was a chance that you had never known him in the first place. But the irrational part, the part that was growing dependent on him; on his love (no matter how twisted it could be), his affection (despite how rarely he gave it), just him in general, refused to believe that he was a bad guy. Troubled, maybe, but that’s your own fault; you haven’t shown him enough love. “He needs me.”
“But does he love you? Like you love me?” The question came out as a whisper, almost like she was scared of your answer.
“He -,” you struggled to find a suitable answer to her question, unable to fight off the new bout of tears building in the corner of your eyes. She knew. Oh god, of course, she knew. She wasn’t your best friend for nothing. She had always been able to see right through you. Why did you ever think that you could keep this from her? “Diana, I -,”
This was just a disaster waiting to happen. You were about to lose your best friend because you couldn’t keep your feelings hidden and Michael was going to kill you. You knew there was a chance this day would come, you were just hoping you’d be more mentally prepared. Diana was your only piece of happiness in this world (besides your mom) and you weren’t ready to lose her.
“Do not fret, little one,” she said, her hand tilting your chin up so you could look her in the eyes. You could just barely make out the small smile curled upon her face through your tears. “I like you too.”
“You do?”
“Mhm,” she hummed, her lips mere inches from yours. “And I would be honored if I could show you what love really looks like.”
You could feel a blush rising to your cheeks and if the grin on Diana’s face was anything to go by, she was enjoying making you flustered. You licked your lips staring up into her ocean blue eyes. Then after a moment of hesitation, you spoke. “I’d like that, Diana.”
And finally, after years and years of pining, Diana’s lips descended upon yours.
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uwu-boll · 3 years ago
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Yesterday I consumed nearly 4 grams of mushrooms. Here is what that was like for me:
First, this isnt my first rodeo. I've consumed psychedelics a few times before; I wouldnt call myself necessarily experienced but I have an education background in psychopharmacology and I have a couple of trips under my belt already so I knew what to expect and how it was going to feel going into it. 2 months ago. my girlfriend and I purchased 7 grams of mushrooms to split for our anniversary weekend this past week. We purchased a hotel room - I wanted to avoid doing this at home due to a very stressful living situation - and situated our setting so as to be best prepared to go about our experience. This included water, music, videogames, some snacks, etc. The necessities.
Our day started following a night of several shared margaritas and burgers between us. We went swimming, had coffee and a light breakfast, went to therapy together, and then a healthy midday lunch. Following that, we gathered the supplies for the night and settled in at around 3pm. Starting then, I measured out the dosages for the both of us; 2.75g for her, 3.87g for me (the dosages were more or less arbitrary, but we had a ballpark of what kind of experience we were looking for). She ate hers straight up, while I prepared a 'lemon tek'; powdered shrooms soaked in lemon juice for some time. There is some science behind it, but the idea is to shorten the duration or the experience while making it more intense. This also helps with digestion to prevent nausea, although there will still be some present as your body tries to 'reject' the chemical.
My shrooms sat in lemon juice for 20 mins before I tossed them all in orange juice for me to take big gulps of. Disclaimer - I HATE the taste, smell, texture, EVERYTHING about mushrooms. This... isnt necessarily better, but it's the best way to consume them short of capsules, I've found.
3:25 PM: I start drinking my pulpy orange juice - mushroom cocktail. It tastes like sour orange juice, because of the lemon juice I added, but the thought of the mushrooms in there makes me gag before I even get the concoction in my mouth. I can already tell this is going to be an endeavour. I take one big swig, maybe a fifth of the bottle, and approximately a quarter of the dose. I wait about 5 mins before taking another swig
3:35: one more swig, followed by a dab, hoping that the weed will calm my tummy. It does, but not before I nearly puke coughing up a lung
3:45: I finish the cocktail. This whole time I'm watching my girlfriend - who is approximately 15 minutes ahead of me having already dosed - set up the Nintendo switch and design a character on Tony Hawks Pro Skater, the remastered edition. She finishes, we take a dab, and we start playing. We, for some reason, start with a VS game, first to 500,000 points. I dont know why we thought that was a good idea, but we did. From here on, times are approximate.
Approximately 3:50: We are mindlessly skating in complete silence, absolute fixated in this game. I'm pretty high from the dabs as it is, so I'm spacing out and having trouble coordinating.
Approximately 4:00: I'm focused entirely on how gross my stomach feels having drank the cocktail. My body feels heavy, and it's very difficult to coordinate in the game properly.
Approximately 4:15: We are probably 100,000 points into this game before we both realize how long it's going to take before anyone wins. Were both kinda over it, and clearly struggling with performing and we only know it's going to get worse. As the come up begins, I feel a profound sense of anxiety. Recognizing it as the comeup anxiety, I dismiss it, but it's quickly becoming pretty overwhelming. The lemon tek, in shortening and intensifying the experience, creates very powerful come ups. We stop playing THPS and switch to Super Mario 3D World, which makes me feel better
Approximately 4:30: We get through 2 levels before we stop playing for the night. We decide to cuddle and try to calm each other down. We put on Bo Burnham's 'Inside' to listen to while we come up, which was a great idea because we love him. Really got us talking about our pasts and the meanings behind each of his songs. My body is very heavy, but I feel at absolute peace within it - I'm not biting my nails compulsively or shaking my legs - despite the come up anxiety and the slight nausea. I feel attached to the bed, I didnt want to get up even if I had to. I am absolutely CHEESIN, smiling so hard my cheeks still hurt a day later.
Approximately 4:45: I am staring at the wall, looking at what appears to be a pattern overlaying the texture of the wall. I see the same pattern on the bathroom floor. I'm questioning as to whether or not it's really there. I quickly move to the ceiling - a popcorn ceiling - where I am blown away; the lighting in the room makes the ceiling look both purple and green. My pareidolia is going crazy and I see constantly shifting patterns in the white noise that is the popcorn ceiling. The crazy thing is knowing that there is no pattern to the nonsense I am seeing, but making out patterns regardless. I stare at this for awhile. The ceiling is flowing like water.
The exact order of events henceforth are kind of a blur. We lay in bed for the rest of the night, but the topics of discussion vary from point to point, mostly us complimenting each other and praising each other. At some point, Inside ended, and we listened to Hamilton. However, I hardly remember both the end of Inside nor the entirety of Hamilton, and so it's likely that around d approximately 5 oclock, began the Great Existential Breakdown (TM)
At approximately 5 oclock, I was peaking. Emotions were running high, and, in response to being hungry, I had a breakdown because I hated the fact that I was born into a world dominated by cruelty, inhumanity, and the insatiable drive for profit. I hated that I lived in a world where something as simple as hunger was a problem, and that food - a human right - is commodified. I hated that consumption was obligatory, and that to feed the endless gluttony that is the human need to consume, we exploit both our fellow humans, and the planet. I hated that in that obligatory need to consume, weve facilitated this social climate in which it's okay to pollute our world and exploit the human labor condition so as long as its convenient to the consumer and profitable to the corporation. (Now that I think about it, this may have been spurned by Bo Burnhams 'That Funny Feeling', which I feel like is his most powerful song on the album. ) This quickly evolved into how being born, and forced into a world without your consent where conditions like this exist in the first place is inherently a violent act, and that having children is immoral until we create an environment where those conditions are obsolete. Then to how bullshit it is that I am forced to take care of a meatsuit for the whole of my life, but I have to pay to upkeep all of it as if i had some choice in the matter. This lead to me talking about how I wanted to be a transient observer of the universe, untethered to any physical point in space. Not quite dead, not quite alive - still able to see things happen, but not be able to participate. I then went on to say how I didnt think suicide was the answer to my problems because that doesnt necessarily get rid of the conditions that lead to my despair, but rather creates new problems for my loved ones. I knew that the key was to live in despite of the despair and to continue on in search of my own personal meaning.
This breakdown lasted approximately 3 hours and was very emotional for both of us. We spent a lot of time crying and talking about stuff weve never spoken about before. The comedown was very gentle and helped me feel very cathartic and relaxed. Over the course of the comedown I took several dabs, a few of which brought me back to 'The Wonky Space' (TM). However, this was short lived. My girlfriend sat in the tub naked from the waist down, which quickly turned into a bath, and from there, after my breakdown, we started to relax, watch some Shameless, went downstairs, got some snacks, some drinks, and went to bed.
Before I fell asleep, and once I knew the experience was 100% over, I took some time to reflect and felt very satisfied with what happened. It wasnt at all what I expected the night to be, but I felt like I needed to do that, and experience that kind of existential pain. I felt very relaxed once I got control of my body again, and that peace - the general sense of wellbeing, happiness, lack of anxiety, connectivity to my partner and my fellow man - has persisted well into the next day, and will likely continue for at least the next week. 10/10 would do again.
Would I say I had a bad trip? No. Was it a good one? N...no. but I had a great time, it was fun, and enlightening, and helped me realize where I feel like I am struggling mentally.
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The Sitter-Five
The Case
Hotch x neutral!reader
Warnings:swearing, canon-typical violence, mentions of reader’s family’s death, mentions of child death
A collab with the lovely: @flightsoffandom
Tags:@icantswimhalp @hommoturttle
@winterscaptain@jovialtimetravelgladiator
@lex-is-a-shipper@cypherthetransmasc
-------------------
The car ride wasn’t incredibly long. Aaron used this time to ask you questions and get at least a basic understanding of what happened. When you get to Quantico* Aaron leads you inside the large building. You followed Aaron to the conference room where the team was already gathered. Garcia looked at the unit chief and said, “I actually don’t have any information about this case, sir.” As she finished speaking you noticed all eyes on you. The team was curious about the person they had never met standing in the room. “They’re probably profiling me.” You thought. “That’s because we haven’t been called. This is not an official case yet, so anyone that agrees to work the case will be doing so on personal time. You can leave now or wait for the details and then decide.” Aaron looked at each member of his team. Not a single team member flinched when offered the chance to leave. Aaron walked to what could be considered the head of the round table, “It’s a five-year-old triple homicide. A man, a woman, and a child. Leaving one survivor.” Aaron motions over to you. Even as Aaron spoke each team member alternated looking over at you. You tried to slink back into the shadows so you could hide. You only knew the team members from scattered descriptions Aaron had given you when talking about his coworkers. So you had a vague idea of who they were. A muscular man, who you were assuming was Derek Morgan, spoke up, “No offense…” Derek looks right over at you before turning back to Aaron, “Even with three murders, there isn’t any proof that it’s serial.” Aaron practically throws the taunt of a birthday card down onto the middle of the table, “We at least have a threat of further violence. I think that is enough to warrant us looking into it.” The card is passed around as each member looks it over. When it reaches an older gentleman who must be David Rossi, “Normally I would say get this to forensics but it seems a bit too late for that.” Rossi turns to look at a brightly colored woman sitting off to the side, who could only be Penelope, “Garcia, look and see if you can find any similar murders.” Rossi hands the card to the much younger man next to him as he finishes speaking, “I have a feeling five years ago wasn’t his first time and he probably hasn't stopped killing for five years either.” Penelope gets an annoyed almost repulsed look on her face, “Unfortunately one of the things I have learned working at this job is there are a lot of icky... icky people out there. I don’t think that will be a small list.” A young man with long hair was now holding your card, studying it intently as he speaks, “Birthdays are held in very high regard in some places while others find Name days more important.” As soon as he started talking you knew that this was Spencer. Spencer kept going, almost like he was lost in his own train of thought, “Harvard University did a study. From 1973 to 1999 the most common birthday was September 16th. This was later updated by a different study with September 9th being the most common birthday from 1994 to 2014.” The whole table just stared at Spencer trying to figure out where he was going with this. A blonde-haired woman, presumably JJ spoke up, “Spence!” Spencer looked over at JJ with a confused look. JJ tilts her head and rubs the side of her neck, trying to redirect her friend, “The point?” Spencer’s eyes go wide for a moment before refocusing back onto the card in his hands, “Try narrowing it down by seeing if any of the children were murdered on their birthday.” Your throat closes up for a moment. You had let yourself get lost in how the team worked together for a moment. Under different circumstances, this would have been morbidly interesting. But as soon as murdered children got brought up, mental images of Sammy’s last birthday came crashing onto you. You felt yourself getting emotional again. You tried to control yourself, not wanting to go into a full-on breakdown in front of new people.
Aaron noticed your reaction immediately. He addressed the team, “That’s a good start for now. If you are all fine with continuing this case on personal time then let’s get to work.”
Aaron walks over to you but before he can say anything a dark-haired woman speaks up. Even if you didn’t have a description of what she looked like, there was only one last team member, Emily.
Emily stands up, “I agree we have a case but we will need to talk to them for more information.” She offers you a smile, trying to comfort you.
Aaron replies without even looking back at Emily, “Not right now.”
Aaron’s voice came out slightly harsher and more defensive than before. You noticed it and the collective looks the team shared revealed that they clearly noticed as well. Aaron doesn’t say anything else to the team.
Aaron starts leading you out of the conference room, “Why don’t you sit in my office while me and my team keep working on this?”
Aaron’s voice was already noticeably sweeter than it was a few moments ago. If you were less emotional you would have questioned it more. You were just glad to be out of that room for a moment. You wanted to help any way you could but it was too much in such a short period of time for you that you were glad for the break.
Aaron led you into his office, “Make yourself comfortable. If you need anything you have my number. I’ll be busy but if you call I’ll answer.”
You sit down on the couch in his office and offer a nod, “Thank you.” You weren’t sure what else to say given the situation.
Aaron went to leave but he stopped, “Please stay in the building. I can keep you safe in here.”
You give him another nod, “Of course.”
As Aaron leaves, the look on his face is so intense you're not sure if you’ve seen him like this before. Figuring he must always act like this at work.
After Aaron left you left completely alone. Just sitting in his office by yourself. You were exhausted but couldn't sleep even if you wanted to. Not that you wanted to, considering you could practically feel the nightmares that would come to you in your dreams. Sitting on the couch for a while you started to notice that every time a team member walked passed the office windows that they would try to ‘discreetly’ look at you through the window. You would think that profilers would be better at not being so obvious. Feeling like you were in a fishbowl you couldn't help but pace around the office. You're not sure how much time had passed but you were still pacing and on edge. Someone opened the door causing you to practically jump out of your skin. You turned to see who it was.
Penelope had a guilty look on her face, “I am so so sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.” She walks further into the room, “You must be starving. Some Triple-S is inorder and Triple-A isn’t just for cars, honey.”
You give her a confused look, not sure if you heard her correctly, “Sorry, I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”
Penelope laughs “I have a secret snack stash and absolutely adorable animal videos that you have to see right this moment.”
Penelope didn't even give you a chance to answer before she grabs your wrist and starts leading you out of the room and down the stairs. She wasn't giving you much of a choice but you knew Penelope was being nice and trying to make you feel better. Penelope led you out of the bullpen and down the hall before pulling you into a room. It was full of computers and would have looked like what you'd expect a government computer room to look like, except for the additional decorations. Lots of brightly colored objects filled the room. Small stuffed animals, squishy stress toys, fuzzy pens. It may not have been your style but you'd be lying if you did not admit that it was somewhat comforting to see all these cute things.
Penelope sat you down at an extra chair in front of the computers, “I have a whole hard drive full of cute stuff that always makes me feel better.” She pulls up a folder and clicks on a video.
Penelope then pulls out a huge bag and places it in between you both. It was full of every snack you could think of.
You couldn't bring yourself to eat at the moment but you appreciated all the effort, “Thank you it means a lot.”
Penelope offers you a big smile and lets out a happy hum as she grabs a snack for herself and joins you in watching videos. A few videos in you actually find yourself being able to relax and almost forgetting the reason you came here. It was still in the back of your mind but suppressed enough that you found yourself able to laugh along with Penelope as you both kept bingeing cute animal videos. Easily losing track of time.
Penelope's laptop over to the side dings. She rolls over and starts typing away, working on something. She then pulls out her phone and starts texting someone on. You watch Penelope for a moment, setting a range of emotions on her face.
Once she gets a response to her text she looks up and smiles at you, “Looks like our little heartwarming party has to come to a close” She stands up and offers her hand to you, “For now.” She says it in a playfully menacing voice.
You take Penelope's hand and she helps you up. Penelope proceeds to lead you back out of her office and towards the bullpen. When you get within earshot you can hear Aaron speaking. You walk into the room and Aaron watches you for a moment before wrapping up.
“It’s late everyone. Everyone go home and get some rest. We’ll meet back here in the morning at 8.” Aaron announced to the group.
As everyone filed out of the room Hotch called for you to wait, “y/n, I think you should stay with me tonight. It’s not safe for you to go home and be alone. Especially when we know that the killer knows where you live.”
“I can’t do that Aaron. It’s bad enough I’m endangering all of you guys, I can’t put Jack at risk too.”
“How about this, stay with me tonight while Jack is at his sleepover, and tomorrow we’ll find somewhere else for you to stay?”
You hesitated but you knew he wasn’t going to give up on this so you agreed.
****
The two of you walked inside and he showed you the guest room. That’s when you realized something.
“Dammit. I left my suitcase at my house so I don’t have any clothes.”
“You can borrow some of mine to sleep in and you have an outfit in the bottom drawer of that dresser.” He pointed at one of two that were in the room.
“Thank you, Aaron.” You smiled graciously.
He brought you some clothes to sleep in and you both got ready for bed. Before he went to his room you said, “Hey Aaron, do you think you could teach me how to shoot tomorrow?”
He looked at you and nodded, “Yeah, we can go to the gun range tomorrow morning if we go in early.”
“Sounds good. Thank you. For everything.” You said earnestly.
“Of course y/n. Goodnight.” With that, you both went to bed.
****
The two of you had eaten breakfast quickly and made coffee before heading into the gun range in the FBI building.
He started going over gun safety with you in the car. He wanted you to have that down before he taught you how to actually shoot.
“Alright y/n, treat, never, keep, keep?” This is the last question he had for you.
“Treat every weapon as if it was loaded. Never point a weapon at anything you don’t intend to shoot. Keep your finger off the trigger until you are ready to shoot. Keep the safety on until you are ready to fire.” You smiled at him.
“Good job y/n. I think you’re ready.” He gave you a small smile back.
****
He had his arms around you with his hands over yours on his handgun. “Remember to squeeze the trigger slowly.”
You didn’t respond, instead you leaned back into him and pulled the trigger.
After emptying the magazine, he got your target to see how you did.
“Good job y/n! You’re a great shot.” He gives you a tight hug. Your heart fluttered. You decided to ignore it.
He let go of you and you smiled at him, “Thanks, Aaron. You’re a good teacher.”
“We better get going,” Aaron said checking his watch, “The rest of the team should be in soon.”
When the two of you walked into the bullpen, Rossi was the only one there. The rest of the team arrived over the course of the next twenty minutes.
Now you were in Aaron’s office with him, Agent Rossi, and Agent Reid. You and Aaron were sitting on the couch next to each other situated so that you were facing each other. The other two agents were standing by his desk.
Aaron was speaking to you in a soothing tone. “Y/n, I want to do a cognitive interview okay?”
You nodded even though you didn’t know what that meant. Your confusion showed on your face so he explained what was going to happen.
“I’m going to have you close your eyes for me and we’re going to go back to the day it happened. Rossi and Reid are just going to observe. I’m going to walk you through it.” He looked at you with concern in his eyes.
You just nodded and closed your eyes in response.
“Okay y/n, go back to that day. Start right before you leave your house.” Aaron said to you.
“I had hidden Sammy’s gift at my friend’s house to make sure they wouldn’t find it. It was something they had been asking for for months.
’I’m going to go pick up Bean‘s present,’ I told my family after lunch. ’I’ll be back in 45 minutes.’
“Okay honey, see you soon.” My mom said, kissing the top of my head. ‘Drive safe, love you.’ My dad called out to me. ’I will! Love you too!’ I called back.”
You had tears running down your face at this point. Aaron had put his hands over yours at some point.
“Okay, what happened when you got home?” Aaron asked.
“‘I’m back!’ I called in a sing-song voice as you opened the door.
’Sorry I’m late. Traffic.’ I set the package inside and closed the door before walking into the living room.”
Your eyes shot open and you started breathing harder until you were hyperventilating as you got to the next part of the memory.
Aaron rubbed his hand across your back until you were breathing normally again.
“I know it’s hard y/n but can you please try to remember for me? Can you go back?”
You nodded your head and continued, tears still running down your face.
“As soon as I was in the doorway, I screamed. My entire family was laying in the living room, covered in blood. ‘Sammy! Mom! Dad! What happened?’ I yelled frantically as I dialed 911 and ran over to Sammy. Eventually, the police and paramedics arrived but it was too late.”
“Okay y/n, I know this is a lot but I need you to go back to when you opened the door. Look around. Is there anything out of the ordinary?”
“Um-there’s uh-a vase missing off of the shelf.” You hoped this helped somehow.
“Okay, now I need you to walk into the living room and see if it’s there.”
You started shaking but did what he said. You looked around and tried your hardest to keep breathing. You felt his arm around your shoulder.
“No it’s not he-oh it’s in pieces. There’s pieces of it all over the floor.”
“Where at y/n? What part of the floor?”
“It’s over by Sammy.” You said. And with that, you lost it. You were shaking and crying and you could barely breathe. “I can’t-I can’t Aaron. I ca-can’t”
“Shh shhh. It’s okay y/n.” He was rubbing your back again. You heard his door open and close as the other agents left. You had forgotten that they were here.
“Couldn’t keep them safe.” You mumbled.
He wrapped his arms around you and held you against him. “What did you say?” He asked quietly.
You looked up at him. “The night before they came into my room because they were afraid of monsters. I promised Sammy that I would always keep them safe. I failed.”
“It’s not your fault y/n. You can’t blame yourself.”
You opened your mouth to argue and he cut you off, “Trust me. I’ve been there. You’ve seen me there. I was there after Haley died. It doesn’t help anything.”
He wrapped his arms back around you and just let you cry for a little while.
While he was holding you, you realized something. You felt safe. For the first time since you found the notes on the flowers. You also realized that your love for Aaron had grown past that of a friend. You were in love with him. And you felt guilty for feeling such things in your current situation. You decided to deal with that later though.
After a while he got up to help the team work the case, “I’m going to go help the team catch this guy, okay? You can stay in here as long as you need to.”
You nodded at him and offered a small smile before he walked out the door.
****
You walked to the conference room but stopped outside the doorway, hidden from the view of anyone inside, when you heard your name.
It was Aaron and Dave talking. “We’re just good friends Dave. They watch Jack for me and we have gotten close, but that’s all it is with y/n”
“Whatever you say, Aaron.” Rossi replied with a smirk.
They ended the conversation and you waited a few seconds before entering so that they wouldn’t know you had been listening.
——————
A note: sorry for weird formatting I’m on mobile
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dear-selena · 5 years ago
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Sketchbook (Peter Parker x Stark!Reader): Chapter 2
Peter Parker x Stark!Reader (Female) 
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | ?
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Summary: (Y/N) never understood science based subjects, despite putting all her efforts into studying them. Kids at school bullied her, her father, Tony Stark, was disappointed in her, and the Avengers looked the other way. Peter Parker, her best friend and secret crush for almost two years, was always there supporting her when she needed someone. However, since he became an Avenger and her dad’s ‘favorite kid’, (Y/N) doesn’t know how much longer he’ll be around. 
You find yourself struggling to exist with everything working against you, and instead of asking others for help, you turn to your sketchbook.
Warnings: Favoritism, fighting (battle wise), mentions of depression
A/N: Hey guys! thank you all so much for the support on my first chapter. School has been extremely crazy for me, so I’ve been struggling to write, but I really wanted to update tonight. Like I said before, updates for this story will be sparce because of my school schedule, so please be patient with me. 
Also, I’ve been experiencing extreme writer’s block with this story, so please be patient with me as I work through it. I think I’ve come up with a good path for this story to go, and feedback will be much appreciated. Thank you again for reading, and I hope you enjoy chapter 2! 
Chapter 2: Whipped Into Shape
Words: 2097
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The ride home from school couldn’t have been any quicker. 
Happy always waits for you when school ends to drive you home. Normally, you would talk up a storm to him about how frustrating classes were, and he’d listen contently, chiming in sometimes to give you advice. However, today you stay silent, thinking about how you had to face your father at home and tell him about your D+ in chemistry. 
Hopefully everyone forgot you got your grades back today. 
“Everything alright back there kiddo?” You hear happy ask you, snapping you out of any negative thoughts that started to form. “Is it about grades again?”
You slowly nod, admitting defeat. “I failed my chem midterm. Again.” 
Happy looks at you through the rear-view window, pity evident in his eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?” 
You shake your head, not wanting to breakdown in front of your family’s head of security. 
Once Happy reaches the Avengers Compound, you thank him and quickly make your way inside. When you reach the common room, you find Bucky and Sam playing video games on the big screen, nodding at you when they see you’ve come back home. 
“Hey (Y/N), how’d the test go?” Sam asks without taking his eyes off the screen. Dammit they remember. 
You try to act dumb. “What test? I didn’t take any test…” 
Bucky turns to glance at you before giving his attention back to the game. “She probably failed again. Hope Tony doesn’t freak.” He mumbles. However, you heard everything he said, and quietly left the room before they could say anymore hurtful words. Bucky always liked saying things bluntly. But you weren’t in the mood to deal with him today. The truth hurt too much. 
Making a quick pitstop in your bedroom, you drop your backpack and quickly change into some training gear. After school you would train with Natasha, learning self-defense, fighting tactics, and how to use certain weapons. You started this routine when you entered your freshman year of high school as a privilege. Your father refused to have your trained when you were younger despite your constant begging. However, when he enrolled you into Midtown High, he started having Natasha training you as a way to keep you in check. If you did well in school, you were allowed to train, simple as that. 
Natasha was always so patient with you, no matter how inconsistent training you has been. Sometimes, your father would forbid you from training when you’re grades were at an all time low in order to make you study more, so you weren’t as skilled as you wished. However, your skills have gotten better over the past few months, and you thought that developing these skills might finally land you a spot with the Avengers. 
When your father allows it, training gave you a new sense of life. It made you feel as if you could do anything, even stop your bad thoughts from ever returning. You weren’t sure how it happened, but fighting alongside Natasha felt great, even if you weren’t the best. Natasha was a great teacher. 
But you secretly wish your father would be there helping you learn. 
Tying your hair into a high ponytail and giving yourself another look in the mirror, you grab your boxing tape and start the trek to the training room. On your way to the room however, you can’t help but get distracted by the lab. It was in the direction you were taking, and its walls were glass, so you could see everything. Normally, Bruce and your father were in there upgrading suits and weapons, drafting new tech, or testing gear. However, neither one were in sight, and the lab doors were wide open. 
Tony had strict rules about who was allowed in the lab, especially with you. You’ve always wanted to help your father build things and learn from him, but he simply didn’t allow it, not until you got your grades up. You understood why he was so strict with you, but you couldn’t help but yearn to get your hands on some of his prototypes. It especially stung when he started allowing Peter into the lab, teaching him how to use the equipment like you always dreamed of him teaching you. 
Peter was obviously his favorite child, and he wasn’t even a Stark. 
Walking through the large glass doors, you look around in awe at your father’s work. Despite being here 24/7, your father manages to keep this place in tip-top shape. Looking around, you notice that he’s currently working on upgrades for Peter’s Iron-Spider suit, giving his A.I. an upgrade and fixing his web shooters that he recently blew out in a recent mission. Of course. You also notice that him and Bruce have started drafting new weapons, and from the looks of it, it seems they’re trying to make these weapons unique for certain climates on Earth. 
“What did I say about coming in here?” 
Jumping out of your skin, you whip around to see your father at the lab doors, arms folded in front of him and staring at you intensely. “I-I’m sorry dad. I didn’t know you were here.”
“And I don’t know why you’re here (Y/N),” Your father retorts, making you shrink in place. “You didn’t touch anything, did you?” 
You shake your head rather quickly. “No sir.” 
“Good, now get out of here before you do. Natasha is waiting for you.” 
Before you could move, Peter speed walks through the doors. “Hi Mr. Stark, sorry I’m late I was-” Peter’s eyes land on you, his eyes lighting up. “Oh! (Y/N), are you joining us today?” 
You went to answer, but your father beat you to it. “Sorry kid, (Y/N) hasn’t earned that privilege yet.” 
Ouch. 
You look down as you make your way out of the lab, your eyes meeting Peter’s. He stares at you with a look of pity, a look you hated coming from anyone, especially your best friend. Hopefully training would distract you from the ache that formed in your heart. 
“Hey (Y/N)?” You hear your father call out before you were out of range. Turning around, you see that Peter and your father were getting ready to work on the Iron-Spider suit. “How did your chemistry test go?” 
You freeze in place, body going numb at the thought of your failure. Your father instantly notices and eyes you, disappointment evident in his expression. “Let me guess. Another C?”
You blink rapidly, trying to hold back tears. “Worse than that.” Your voice barely came out as a whisper. 
Peter lifts his head from what he’s doing, eyes widening at your statement. He didn’t realize your test went that poorly. Your father on the other hand, looks down and nods, expecting that answer from you. “Just… just go train.” 
You immediately run out of the lab and all the way to the training room, seeing Natasha and Steve in the middle of a sparring match. You breathe a sigh of relief, being away from you father and all. 
Hopefully some training will help your negative thoughts. 
------------
“Oof!” You gasp out as you fall flat on your face. 
Natasha currently has you sparring with Steve, and much to your dismay, he was winning. Avoiding his swings had gotten easier for you, but in a moment where you got a little too confident, Steve surprises you and kicks in your legs, knocking you off balance. 
Putting her hand to her head and rubbing her temples, Natasha sighs. “C’mon (Y/N),” She urges. “You can’t get too cocky.” 
You look up and see Steve extending a hand to you, pulling you off the mat with ease. “I’m sorry Miss Romanoff.” 
“It’s okay, but if you really want to go on missions someday, you’ll need to find a way to focus.” Natasha lectures. You nod sadly. She was right after all. “You’ve been getting better since your training has become routine, so is there anything you know you can do to help you focus better?” 
You take a good moment to think about this. Normally drawing and writing in your sketchbook helps you, but that definitely wouldn’t help in a battle. However, you do know that holding something in your hands helps you stay attentive. “May I try sparring with a weapon?” 
Natasha’s eyebrows raise, a small smile forming on her lips. “I hoped you’d say that.” 
You walk over to the training equipment as Steve goes to to grab his shield. The spar needed to be fair after all. When you use a weapon to train, you find a sense of comfort that you don’t get fighting with only your hands. Luckily, Natasha has picked up on this too. 
Looking through all the weapons Bruce and your father has provided for training purposes, you think about every weapon you’ve used thus far. You were fairly decent with staffs, guns weren’t particularly your favorite, and shields felt sort of like dinner plates to you. However, there was one weapon you’ve become quite fond of, smiling as your eyes landed on it. 
“A whip?” Natasha questions as you take the piece of rope off the hook and wrap the handle around your right wrist. “You really like that one don’t you?” 
You turn and smile at your mentor, playfully snapping the whip in response. Just then, Steve came back with his famous shield. “Ready to go (Y/N)?” 
“More ready than before,” you say confidently, despite what Natasha said about cockiness earlier. You and Steve go back on the sparring mat, taking up each side. Taking a deep breath, you swing your whip around a little, getting used to the feeling of the rope.
“Okay. 3, 2, 1, go!” 
With that, you open your eyes to see Steve lunge at you. Starting as well, you run directly at him and attempt snap the whip in his face. Steve quickly blocks your attack with his shield and slides under you, trying to knock you off your feet again. Luckily, you saw this coming and jump out of his way, turning to see him get back up again. 
The battle continues for a little while. Steve blocking your whips and swinging his shield as you roll around his attacks. The whip starts to feel like an extension of your arm, and even though you’re fairly decent with it, you smack yourself with it a few times, accidentally burning the skin on your stomach and thighs. However, you were more focused than ever. 
In a lucky snap, you wrap your whip around Steve’s shield, sliding it out of his hands and across the floor, shocked by your sudden move, Steve didn’t expect you to snap the whip around his legs and send him crashing into the mat. You yank the rope, sliding Captain America to your side and out your foot in his back. Steve’s eyes widen as he realizes his defeat, and your mouth goes agape. 
“Whoa, did I just do that?” 
“Yes!” You hear Natasha say, and you look up to see her start to clap, a proud expression on her face. “I’ve never seen you do something like that. I’m impressed.” 
Unwrapping Steve from the rope, you help him up. “Same, I have to say (Y/N), that was the best match I’ve had with anyone in a while, I’m pleasantly surprised.” 
Radiating happiness, you shake Steve’s hand. “Thank you Mr. America.” 
“I think it’s a good time to call it quits,” Natasha says, patting your back. “Good job (Y/N), I’ll make sure to tell Tony about your improvements.” 
You’re eyes light up. Maybe your father will finally be proud of you. “You will?” 
Natasha nods. “Just don’t get too confident now. I heard about your… recent grade, so I’m going to try and convince your father to let you keep training now that I see the potential.” 
Your smile falters a little. You completely forgot about that. 
With one last pat on the back, you run off to the kitchen to grab some water and back to your room for a well deserved shower. Even though you didn’t do well in school today, you felt immensely proud of yourself for taking down the one and only Captain America. Sure, you got lucky, but this was the exact type of luck you needed as motivation. 
This moment gave you another reason to keep going.
-----------
-Sketchbook Tag List-
@randomfanders-blog // @freestarlight // @depressing-as-shit // @sweetmilki // @supernerdycookietrashblr // @supermassiveblackhope
-Peter Parker Tag List-
@sweetcoffeeblandtea // @house-arya // @jovialpeanut 
-Permanent Tag List-  
@mindset-jupiter // @romance-geek // @imcharishope // @fakindob // @cutiekoa // @wowursofunny
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canumoveurseatup-no · 5 years ago
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forget me not
summary: clint is your caregiver but it doesn’t feel like it when nat goes into little space and bucky is away so he’s second in command to take care of her.
word count: 3.8k
pairings: caregiver!clint x little!black!reader; platonic caregiver!clint x platonic little!natasha; slight caregiver!bucky x little!natasha
warnings: 18+ due to cg/l / ddlg dynamics, angst, insecurities, little!Nat is an absolute shit
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please do not read below the cut if you are not 18+ and/or do not like cg/l / ddlg dynamics!!
It made you feel like shit.
You couldn’t wait for Bucky to get back because then you could have your daddy back.
Watching him hold her and calm her down should make you feel better because you didn’t want her to feel that way.. but instead it stirred a feeling of jealousy and insecurity in your stomach.
Bucky would be away for two weeks and it was only day four and you’d barely had him to yourself. You had to read yourself a bed time story for you to go to sleep at night. You had a mental breakdown making yourself lunch because he always does it.
But no, he works on Nat’s schedule now. When she’s hungry is when he cooks, when she wants to play is when he’ll pull out the games, when she’s sleepy is when he’ll read the story. You didn’t even want to be little anymore, it’s extreme but it deterred you from feeling any semblance of comfort.
You didn’t want to be jealous but seeing him tend to someone else hurt your feelings. You felt sad hearing them laugh together, hearing her giggle at his jokes, hearing him calling her a good girl for cleaning her plate. You wanted to hold your hands over your ears to block out the sound.
You stayed away when they were together because if you didn’t, it’d end in a cat fight.
Tony found you outside in the sandpit, crying while trying to make a castle.
“Why the tears, sweetpea?,”
You didn’t mean for anyone to catch you crying, so you quickly wiped your tears and shook your head
“N-nothing” you shrug and go back to adding more water from the hose into your bucket.
“You’re adding too much water,” he sat with you to help you build one and it was so pretty you clapped and giggled, asking him to take a picture of you with it.
“Thank you,” you whispered innocently. You sighed and realized it felt good to be little, until you realized why you’d been avoiding it. Tony noticed you zoning out after taking the picture and he debates on calling Clint because of how weird you’ve been acting.
“Want me to call Clint? You don’t seem too okay,”
“What? N-no don’t do that, he’s busy!,” your eyes had gone wide and you began to worry. You felt he’d be mad if you interrupted him while he was watching Nat.
“He’s just watching a movie with Nat,”
“He’s busy!,” You declared. You willed your lips to stop trembling so you wouldn’t break down. You wish you weren’t such a sensitive little. Maybe you could wire yourself to be a middle instead, that way you could be more independent and less... emotional?
“He’s busy taking care of someone else,”
He could hear the disdain in your voice, he could hear how you tried to hide your hurt. But Tony knew you all too well and you knew that... and that’s how everything got out.
“I can’t wait for Bucky to come back! She’s stealing my daddy and I hate it! She makes me not wanna be little anymore because she’s taking him from me!,” you pounded your fist into the sand and wailed. You wanted this week to be over.
“He’s still yours, sweet pea. Natasha just requires a lot of attention. He didn’t forget you,”
“And I don’t!?,” Clint knows how needy you are and how you deal with separation anxiety, “I’m gonna try and not be little for a while. I just wanna be big and I wanna be left alone,”
Tony didn’t know what to say. He just holds your hand and comforts you.
“Well let’s keep you little for right now okay? I’ll stay here and we can keep building stuff, how does that sound?,”
————-
Clint forced you to have a tea party with Natasha but she wasn’t being the nicest. She was a fucking brat and was greedy.
She kicked your shin and called you hurtful names. She even took your favorite stuffed alpaca, Ollypop. She was throwing him around and stomping on him and laughing in your face. She threw him in the trash and it was then you had enough. You pushed her back and she fell on her butt, she looked at you with anger and started wailing out for Clint.
He ran in and saw you standing in front of Natasha, seething.
“Y/N! What did you do?,” he rushed to Natasha and saw the way she was crying, shushing her and tending to her.
“She was being mean to Ollypop! You know he’s my comfort item, she was stomping on him and threw him away!,” you rushed to the trash to take him out. Clint was too focused on tending to her so Bucky wouldn’t come back and kick his ass if something happened to her.
“That doesn’t mean you push her, Y/N. Now say sorry,”
“No! She needs to apologize to me!,” you stomped your foot and began crying.
“Y/N Y/L/N, apologize right this instant or go to time out,”
Natasha has stopped crying and she started to feel bad with how sad you were looking. You threw Ollypop down and screamed.
“I’ll just go! Hate being little now, I just want to be big!,” you ran out of the room and ran to your time out corner, sobbing in your hands.
It wasn’t your fault, it was hers! Natasha was a bully when she was little and no one saw that but you. That’s why you hated being around her when you two were both in little space.
Tony heard the commotion and found you wailing.
“G-gonna try to s-stop being little. She.. she’s so mean and n-no one sees I-it!!,” you told him.
Tony was your best friend and hated to see you cry.
“D-don’t know why she h-hates me!,”
You looked to Tony for an answer and he hated to see you look so broken, especially in your little headspace.
“She’s bratty when she’s little that’s why she requires so much attention,”
He explained how only Bucky can tame her and keep up with her and how she can only hang around littles like her. You’re too gentle, sure you can be bratty and spoiled but she was rotten. You loved her outside of little space but she always made you feel like crap.
“He yelled at me. Don’t want to see him for a while,”
Tony knew avoidance wouldn’t help but you were in a sensitive headspace and didn’t quite understand it. So he said screw your time out and brought you to the lab with him and Bruce. He let you color for a bit then let you nap on the couch until it was time for dinner.
————-
Clint was making Natasha dinner when Bucky came home. He came home earlier than expected and she squealed in excitement.
“Papa!!,” she jumped in his arms and he twirled her around, “I missed you so much!,”
He kissed the side of her head and set her on her bed, “I missed you more. Were you good for Clint?,”
She wanted to say yes because she was for the most part. But then she remembers what she did to you a few days ago and how you hadn’t been little since.
“Natty?,” Bucky bent down to her eye level and made her look him in the eyes, “what did you do,”
“Y/N sad,” she pouted, “Called her names and got her in trouble with Clint and she hasn’t been little since,”
“Natasha.” He deadpanned, “Does Clint know?,”
She guiltily shook her head no, “He’s been taking care of me,”
Bucky cursed to himself and shook his head. He didn’t mean for Clint to be so strung up on taking care of Nat that he neglected you... and he definitely didn’t mean for her to be mean to the point you avoided your safe space.
“We’re gonna go find her and you’re going to apologize and you’re not gonna have play dates or movie nights for a while, okay? You know better,”
She wanted to protest but she knew what she did was wrong... she just didn’t expect it to get like this. She figured you’d get over it... but you were softer than her.
You were hiding in the lab with Tony again when she came with Bucky and Clint . She called your name and you screamed, moving to hide behind Tony.
“I didn’t do it!,” You were shaking, afraid she lied on you and got you in more trouble.
“I-I came to say I apologize,”
You whimpered, staying hidden behind Tony, “It’s my fault,” you had a habit of blaming yourself. You didn’t want anyone else to get in trouble so you took the blame.
“No it’s not,” Natasha moved to the side the to see you but you hid under the table hiding away from everyone’s view.
“You are my sunshine- my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are greeeey-,”
“Oh no,” Clint said to himself. You only sang that song when you were on the verge of a panic attack.
He came towards the desk and you felt his presence, so you scoot away from him to try and hide more all while singing louder and covering your ears as you rocked back and forth.
“You never know dear! How much I love you! Please don’t take, my sunshine awaaaay!!,”
You eyes were clenched shut and your voice was trembling as you cried. He stood and turned to Natasha
“What really happened?,”
Natasha didn’t want to admit to it, because then she knew she’d be in deep shit. She loved attention and let it get to her head.... she didn’t want everyone to know what a bully she was, but she knew Bucky would make her own up to it.
“I called her a stupid crybaby and that’s why you were taking care of me instead of her because you got sick of her,”
“You are my star shine, my only star shine, you made me happy when nights are grey!,”
You still sang as she confessed.
“I knew Ollypop was her comfort item but I stomped on him and was mean to him anyway. I even kicked her and pulled her hair and made a scene when she pushed me just so you would scold her and not me,”
Bucky was fuming. He did not teach Natasha to be like this.
“I realized I messed up when she wouldn’t go into little space. She’s been big ever since and that’s not normal for her,” Natasha had tears in her eyes, realizing how much of a big bully she really was.
Bucky felt like a bad caregiver, having no idea she’d act like this while he was away and Clint felt like shit for not realizing.
You had gone to loudly humming to yourself now, but still crying and rocking yourself.
“Natasha that is the most absurd and unacceptable behavior you have ever displayed and I am beyond disappointed,”
Her tears fell faster when she saw how angry he was. “She’s scared of you now,”
She cried harder looking at you trying to calm yourself down. “What did you get out of this, Natasha? Seriously,”
Nothing... except attention and power over you.
“Answer me,” Bucky’s voice had gotten too serious for her to be used to.
“Nothing!,” she hid her face in her hands until Bucky removed her hands made her look at you.
“I did not teach you to be such a bully,” he was so upset with her. He knew she was a brat but not this damn bad, “Look at her,” he growled.
How could she not look at you? Tony was rubbing your arms and trying to calm you down while Clint just stood confused, angry and scared. You were hiccuping and Tony was just whispering words of comfort. It wasn’t just Natasha who messed up. It was him too.
Tony removed your hands from your ears even though you fought it, “She wants to apologize, Y/N,”
“Not her f-fault! S’my fault for b-being a stupid cry b-baby,”
Bucky growled and gave Natasha a stern look to Natasha, hands on his hips, “I cannot believe you, Tasha,”
“Y/N I’m really sorry. You’re not stupid or a cry baby I’m just a meanie and I’m so sorry, please believe me,”
Tony took deep breaths with you to call you down and helped you from under the desk but you turned your head away from everyone so they didn’t see you and you didn’t have to see them.
“It’s okay,”
“No, Y/N it’s not,”
“M-maybe she’s right,” you shrugged. You did cry a lot and you did get sad and insecure easily, “I should just get over it,”
“Baby,” Clint sighed. He hated to hear you whimper at the sound of his voice. “Y/N please look at me,”
You held Tony’s arm tighter and shook your head viciously. You’d cry more if you looked at him right now.
“What did you do?,” He asked Natasha defeated. Her words were running circles in your head and he knew it but his actions only justified her words in your mind.
“Time out, now,” Bucky gritted through his teeth. She quickly did so with a whimper, scurrying out of the room.
Bucky came up to you and you flinched from his touch too, “C’mon sweet pea, at least look at me,”
You were hesitant but turned your head slowly. He could see how puffy your eyes were. You cried about this more times than just right now. Eyes red, pupils blown.
“You know she didn’t mean those things? She can just be really mean and I’m so sorry,”
“Maybe she’s right though,” you croaked.
“No,” Clint stated. “She’s so far from right,”
You closed your eyes so you wouldn’t look at him. You didn’t want to cry anymore.
“I’m so sorry that she’s scared you out of little space. I’m so sorry that she acted out in a way that made your daddy upset with you and I’m so fucking sorry that she came after you, knowing you’d believe the things she said,”
You didn’t know what to say because it wasn’t okay but you just wanted to get over it.
“I’m a big girl. I’ll be okay,” You force a smile and nod.
“You don’t have to be a big girl but I understand you wanting to move past this,” Bucky pats your cheek and gives you a small hug that you allowed, “Now will you talk to your daddy?,”
“Too tired... later?,” you kept your head down while Bucky looked to Clint to see if it was good enough, when he nodded, Bucky turned back to you and nodded.
“Yeah. That’s fine. Tony is gonna take you to your room and read you a story,”
—————
You slept through the night while Clint hadn’t slept a wink. He was afraid he’d wake up and you’d be gone. Natasha came to him when she was finally out of little space and apologized a billion times.
“He’s taking me to a seminar on how to be a nicer little,” she says bashfully. Natasha scolded herself and knew it’d take a while to get back in the I’m good graces of three people.
You woke up, eyes sore from crying and lips dry from your salted tears. You went to the bathroom to shower and clean yourself up so you look out together. You felt better after the shower, pores opened and clean. Mind clear and head on straight.
You dressed yourself and sat on your bed, kicking your feet back and forth, piecing together what you wanted to say.
He slowly pushed the door open to see if you were okay. Both of your hearts started to beat faster as he came in and shut the door. He knew you probably wanted space so he stayed where he stood.
“Need anything? water, medicine, Olly?,”
You missed Ollypop, but you’d been avoiding him, knowing he’s the main thing that could make you regress. You didn’t want to regress right now. You wanted to be big, that way you can properly verbalize what you want to say without drifting away with your short attention span that you tend to have while in little space. 
“Olly can stay away for a while,” 
Clint saw Olly’s fur peaking out from your toy chest. All of your stuffies were hidden away, almost like you no longer have any, that worried him. You loved having your toys on display, hiding them would mean hiding a part of who you are.
“Tell me what’s on your mind,” clearing his throat, he looked at you fiddling with your fingers, “I’ve ignored you for too long. Unintentional or not, so you get to air me out like I deserve,”
“I’m not going to... ‘air you out’,” you gulp loudly, “Just want to talk about my feelings. Doesn’t mean I have to yell at you or be mean,”
He nodded, letting you know he’s ready whenever you are.
“Y-you still wanna be... with me.. right?,” you had to ask. You just had to know. You could never be too sure. Clint’s never made you second guess like this so you just need reassurance.
“I don’t want to be with anyone but you. That is for certain,” It was a declaration. There was no hesitation, no hint of doubt. 
That made you feel a little better.
“You don’t want to leave for Nat?,” she had him wrapped around her finger for days, anyone looking in would have thought he was her main caregiver, so it had your guts twisting in the worst way possible, “You don’t wanna forget me?,” 
Clint wanted to take offense to your last question but you had every right to ask that. He neglected you this past week and a half, of course you’d have that question burning in your throat like bile wanting to come out.
“I know this past week has been hard for you but I could never leave you or forget you. I know it might have seemed like it but I could never just forget you. I’m sorry taking care of her took me away for you but I couldn’t discipline her like I do with you because she’s not mine, I was just tasked with looking after her, so anything she needed I was tasked with being there at her beck and call. She just required more attention,”
“Why does everyone keep saying that as if I don’t require attention?,” your voice dropped to barely above a whisper. People were acting like you weren’t needy, “I had to force myself out of little space so I didn’t need you... so I didn’t fear her being mean for needing my daddy when I needed him,”
You were proud of yourself for finally speaking up. There’s been too many instances in life where you’ve kept your mouth shut and you’ve regretted it, not today.
“You know how I can get into my own head. Did you ever think about how I’d feel,”
“That’s why I tried to get you two together, so you didn’t feel so left out. I’ve tried before the tea party incident but now I can see you reasoning for not wanting to. She made you feel bad and I should have understood. It’s my fault all of this happened because I should have known. I know you like the back of my hand and it never should have gotten to that point,”
“You’re right. It shouldn’t have. Now I’m scared to be little around her... I’m scared to be little, period. I have never been treated or spoken to the way that she has to me. It made me feel like shit, Clint,” 
The way you said his name made the situation all the more real, using his name was a big deal, like the worst kind of scolding for him.
“I don’t even know if I want to be little anymore because everything messed up my head. Like I know it doesn’t work that way but I’m literally forcing myself to suppress a huge part of me because everyone wants to hurt my damn feelings!,” your eyes gt wide with realization at how you were speaking to him “Sorry for yelling,”
“You have every right to yell and you have every right to be upset. But don’t hide yourself because people were assholes. If you want you can be little and we can try to find you a different caregiver. M-maybe Tony would like to?,”
He sounded ridiculous but you know he was serious and you knew it was hurting him for him to even suggest such a thing, “Don’t want you to hate being little because of me,”
You pursed you lips to try and keep from crying, blinking your eyes to make the air dry them up. You didn’t want him to feel bad, but maybe you did. You just wanted to make him aware of how he was making you feel. But now you know he was feeling insecure and there was enough radiating off you two to the point where it could suffocate you.
“I don’t want you to leave. That’s the point..,”
“What can I do to make this right? I- I don’t want to lose you but I know I fucked up,”
At least he knew and admitted to it, you wanted to move past this at the speed of light.
“Just see me and be there for me... you always are but I just got scared,”
“Which is valid,”
“C-can you hold me?,” you brought the blanket up to your chin wanting to hide, “I miss you so much,”
Clint was happy to finally move from his spot near the door to finally have you in his arms. 
“Just don’t ever keep your feelings a secret, no matter how much of a dick I’m being,”
--------------
Natasha had gotten better. She was a lot nicer and learned to keep her hands to herself. She was sad when you rejected her invites to tea parties the first few times but then you felt bad when she would get sad. 
“Thank you for coming this time. I- I helped papa make your favorite pastries so you would have a good time,” you saw the way her cheeks grew red and how she wouldn’t really make eye contact with you.
“I’m not mad anymore. You can look at me. I won’t turn you to stone,”
She smiled at the sound of your laughter, giggling along with you.
“Thanks for giving me a second chance and thanks for holding me accountable,”
“I was going to let it go. But you did it all with admitting to your wrongs,”
She had to agree, had your action not pulled on her heart strings, she wouldn’t have said anything.
“Friends?,”
You weren’t sure if she was serious or if this was a trick of hers, but with everything she’s been proving to you lately, you decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.
“Friends,”
--------------------
there’s too much angst coming your way. it’s gonna start a fire.
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kpop-zone · 5 years ago
Text
Ivy League | Gowon
Genre: angst, fluff
Wordcount: 2,310
Abstract: The reader leaves for an university in the US and the relationship with Chaewon suffers because of it
A/N: Finally some Loona content on this blog :D
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Chaewon had noticed that you had been behaving a little weird lately. But she simply thought that you had a lot of stress in college lately. She tried to be the support you needed and was completely blindsided by your confession. But she didn’t want you to feel guilty.
“Babe, stop apologizing. You did nothing wrong.”
Chaewon said and she meant it, but she still couldn’t choke down the tears that started to form in her eyes.
“I don’t have to take the offer though. One word and I’ll stay.”
You explained and Chaewon knew that you didn’t intend any harm with your proposition but letting her make the decision, was killing her. Of course, she wanted to be the loving partner you needed, telling you that you should take the opportunity. But on the other side, she was just a human. And sending away the person she loved most in life, was hard.
But she decided that love should always win against selfishness.
“Y/N, what are you talking about? Not everyone is offered to study at an ivy league university in the US. Of course, you should take the offer. There’s facetime and I can fly to you when I have a break. We can figure it out.”
Chaewon said as confidently as possible, although she wasn’t sure if your relationship could survive the distance. But she would rather see you happy with someone else but striving than by her side and wasting your potential.
You sighted in relief, wrapping your arms around her slender body and mumbling into her neck.
“You’re the best girlfriend ever.”
Chaewon chuckled in response, but in the back of her mind a thought started to form, wondering how long she would be able to call herself your girlfriend.
And Chaewon’s fear should be proven right. It had been seven months now since you had moved to the US and the last time Chaewon had talked to you was two weeks ago. In the beginning, the euphoria of wanting to make everything right, saved your relationship. You texted several times a day and you somehow figured out to facetime despite the time difference, even if it meant that Chaewon had to wake up at 3 am. But that was the past now. Eventually the calls were replaced by texts until your contact had died down completely.
Of course, Chaewon missed you, but she didn’t want to be annoying. You had found new friends that you had to entertain next to your studies that were a lot more difficult than they were in Korea. And Chaewon had enough obligations herself. Loona had just made their comeback and they had to run from one promotional event to the next. She needed all her energy and couldn’t just stay up all night, just because her girlfriend couldn’t bring up the empathy to meet her halfway.
It wasn’t only the geographical distance that grew. It felt like your hearts had drifted apart too. During the last time you talked on the phone, it seemed like two strangers were talking to each other. Your voice was tired, and Chaewon felt like she was just an annoying item on your agenda that had to be checked off before you could go back to your real life.
So she gave you space. Maybe you would come back to her after a while, when you started to miss her too. But apparently you didn’t, because after she had stopped making an effort, you didn’t talk at all. It broke her heart, but she couldn’t bring herself to let you go. She still loved you, even if you had stopped loving her.
So whenever her phone rang, she jumped slightly out of her chair, because she expected it to be your break up text. Chaewon didn’t sleep anymore and soon her fans started to worry. She wasn’t the bubbly Chaewon anymore that everyone knew. Instead, she stayed in the back, hardly interacting with anyone with a sad look on her face. She needed you to let her go, so she could let you go.
-
Everything came differently than you expected. You knew that it would be hard for you to be apart from your girlfriend, but you had never guessed just how hard. Your study program was killing you and after a long day of studying you didn’t want anything more than to lay on the couch with your girlfriend in your arms, hearing her complain about her crazy life in the dorm. But the fact that you couldn’t, took you all motivation from you to hang out with anyone else, causing you to slowly turn into a hermit.
You didn’t want Chaewon to worry though. You knew that she wanted you to be happy. It would be selfish to let her suffer from the distance for nothing. Therefore, you told her that everything was fine. You made her believe that you had found friends, enjoying your time abroad, so that she could enjoy her time with her group. You knew how exhausting a comeback could be, so you wanted her to spend her energy on her own worries not on yours.
But lying to Chaewon had always been hard for you. You could feel how the contact between the two of you had gotten less and less, because you didn’t want to be caught lying. You felt guilty but tried to calm your bad conscious by telling yourself that your girlfriend was better off when you withheld something from her than when you lied to her.
But not seeing and not talking to Chaewon was killing you even more, so you decided to fly out to Korea for your anniversary. You knew that both of you probably didn’t have the time for that, but you didn’t care. You needed to see your girlfriend again.
With your suitcase in one hand and a giant bouquet of flowers in your other, you rushed through the airport, more than excited to see your girlfriend again in less than an hour. You told the taxi driver to bring you to Blockberry Creative as quickly as possible and you hardly waited till the driver brought the car to a halt before you jumped out of it.
When you entered the company, people were staring at you because of the big bouquet but you didn’t even notice. It wasn’t until you saw one of Loona’s managers that you acknowledged the presence of other people around you.
“Hey, oppa! Are they recording something, or can I go in?”
You asked him with a grin on your face, but he looked at you with a puzzled expression.
“Y/N? What are you doing here? I thought the two of you broke up?”
You looked at him with your head tilted to the side. Broke up? Why did he think such a thing? Suddenly an uneasy feeling spread in your stomach and doubts replaced the happy thoughts in your head. Did Chaewon already replace you?
When the manager saw your worried expression, he realized his insensitive question and chuckled quickly.
“I’m just babbling nonsense, you know me. You can go in, I’m sure Chaewon will be happy to see you.”
He tried to cover up this awkward situation with a smile, but the moment was already ruined. Nervously you opened the door to the practice room, seeing the girls running around like the maniacs they were. Yerim was the first one to see you. Her facial expression developed from a bright smile in the first moment, to confusion in the next and to anxiously pointing out your presence to Hyejoo who glared at you after she had spotted you. Why was everyone acting so weird?
You let your eyes wander in the room and spotted your girlfriend in the opposite side of the room, being taught a really weird dance by Jiwoo, both not being aware that you had arrived. When you looked up again, you could see Hyejoo making her way over to you. You knew that she could look grumpy sometimes, but this time you were pretty sure that she was actually mad at you.
“What are you doing here?”
She asked you impolitely and you were taken aback by her tone.
“To surprise Chaewon?”
You answered clearly intimidated. Hyejoo was about so say something again, when you heard a loud gasp all of a sudden. Looking behind her, you could see Chaewon staring at you with wide eyes and her hand covering her mouth in surprise. Jiwoo was jumping up and down in excitement beside her and you decided to ignore Hyejoo’s question for now, walking towards your girlfriend with a big smile.
At first you felt very insecure, because Chaewon just kept staring at you, but when you had almost reached her, she suddenly defrosted, jumping into your arms while wrapping her legs around your body. Although you were struggling with the bouquet in your hand, you tried your best to hug her back, not being able to grasp yet that the time of waiting had finally ended.
In your pure joy, you hadn’t even noticed at first that Chaewon was almost crushing your torso, because she was clinging so hard to your body and after another moment, you realized that her body was shaking. You heard sniffling and were suddenly aware of the fact that your girlfriend was crying vehemently. Quickly you let the bouquet fall to the floor, stroking Chaewon’s back instead.
“Hey, it’s ok baby. I’m sorry.”
You tried to calm her down, a little overwhelmed by the whole situation. You had expected your girlfriend to shed maybe a few tears, but not to have a complete breakdown.
“I thought, I had lost you.”
You could hardly hear Chaewon’s words between her sobs, but they stung, nevertheless.
The manager, Hyejoo’s glaring and now your girlfriend’s words. This couldn’t all be a coincident and it dawned to you that your behavior of the past months had actually done more damage than anything else.
Slowly you let your girlfriend down again and you looked at her puffy eyes with guilt in yours.
“Jagi, I think we should talk.”
Realizing that those words sounded like you wanted to break up, your eyes went wide.
“I mean, I want to apologize and ask for your forgiveness because I have been an idiot.”
You added quickly and Chaewon’s initial shock in her face disappeared again.
Chaewon took your hand in hers, pulling you out of the room, because you both figured that 22 additional ears listening to your conversation were definitely a few too many.
Both of you sat down at a table in one of the rooms next door and sat in awkward silence for a while.
“Did you really think, I wanted to break up with you?”
You started the conversation, wanting to make sure that you didn’t miscommunicate again. Chaewon looked embarrassed at her hands but shifted her gaze to your eyes after you laid your hand on top of hers.
“You didn’t contact me anymore...”
She said silently and you could hear the hurt in her voice. Quickly you lifted her hand to your mouth, kissing the back of it apologetically.
“I’m so sorry. I thought I did you a favor.”
You tried to explain yourself, but Chaewon looked at you in confusion.
“I was really unhappy. And I knew that you would worry about me, but I didn’t want you to. So I didn’t tell you that I didn’t like my new life. But you know what a bad liar I am, so I had to ignore you in order to not get caught.”
As you said your words, you actually noticed how dumb they sounded, and you let go of Chaewon’s hand in shame.
But you could hear your girlfriend moving and soon you found her sitting on your lap with your faces only inches apart.
“You are an idiot, Y/N L/N. You know that?”
You nodded, letting your head fall against your girlfriend’s chest who immediately started to run her fingers through your hair.
“I am your girlfriend. I want to know all the stuff that is going on in your life. The good and the bad.”
You lifted your head again, looking at your girlfriend with puppy dog eyes who gave you a sweet smile before leaning down and capturing your lips with hers. You hummed into the kiss, almost having forgotten how perfect your girlfriend’s lips felt against yours.
“Do you promise me to talk to me in the future?”
Chaewon asked you once she had pulled away while still keeping your face in her hands.
“I promise. But we don’t have to suffer that long anymore.”
You answered with a wide grin and your girlfriend tilted her head to the side, not being able to understand what you were referring to.
“I’m coming back after the semester ends. I don’t like my life there and the university here is not even that bad.”
After hearing your words, Chaewon’s eyes started to sparkle and she quickly wrapped her arms around your neck, pulling you closer.
“I know, I should probably tell you to overthink your decision. But please don’t. Just come back to me.”
She told you with a pleading look and you nodded.
Your faces were inching closer again, when the door was suddenly slammed open.
“Did you forgive her?”
Jungeun asked loudly while blindly storming into the room, only realizing your intimate moment when she was standing right in front of you.
“Oh.”
She said embarrassed, but then the other girls behind her stumbled into the room as well.
“You owe me a loaf of bread. I told you, they wouldn’t break up.”
Hyunjin smirked, making Jungeun roll her eyes.
You looked at Chaewon in your lap and couldn’t suppress a giggle. Who needed the ivy league if you already had the perfect life?
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