#why you only call me when you are high

[digitalgirlsthings]

[jacospuknikson]

Ver "Arctic Monkeys - Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High (acoustic) - FM 94/9" en YouTube

[salsakiyoomi]

"why are you here?"

the january cold may have been harsh on suna's skin, but your words were harsher on his heart.

he's standing at the doorstep of your apartment, and in front of an irriated and groggy looking you, who he may have awoken at three am in the middle of the night.

you cross your arms and lean on the doorway frame, waiting for his answer.

he may have expected a bit of a warmer greeting, though he's not sure if his expectations are valid — not anymore, not since you've broken up with him.

"i, uhm," he trails off and pauses, looking around everywhere but at you, "i need somewhere to stay at."

you frown at him, "suna, are you drunk?"

you might as well have taken a knife and stabbed it in his heart when you used his last name as he replies, "no. maybe —  a little bit."

you know he's lying, you've known him for three years to know when he is, and you've known him for three years to know when he's drunk — and the red that taints his cheeks say that he may have had more than his fair share of drinks.

"can i come in?" he asks, finally looking at you, you can see the way he slightly shivers with the chill that stings in the air.

you don't know what to say, you don't know if you should let him in — no, you know that you shouldn't let him in and he knows that he shouldn't be asking this question, he knows he shouldn't even be here in the first place, and yet here he stands at the doorstep of your apartment.

you stay silent, for a moment, and then two before you finally answer him, "i guess i can't just leave you at the mercy of the january cold." you say quietly as you step away from the doorway and let him in — it's a snowy and crisp night, and you can't send him out on the streets where the biting winds would get him.

and besides, against your bitter will, you may have missed him.

suna navigates his way around your apartment as though it's his second home, you presume that it is or at least it used to be as you watch him make his way to the couch and slump on it.

"make yourself comfortable, i guess." you mutter under your breath before you disappear into your room.

suna knows that he shouldn't be here, not when he's intoxicated and drunk on martinis, not after he went to the bar to do so just to get his mind off of you, and yet he still found himself circling back to you, first with a phone call, then two, then three, all which you didn't notice until he decided to finally go to your place, his feet dragged him there as though it was second nature and it might as well have been his lucky day when you let him in even though your break up ended with you saying that you didn't want to have anything to do with him.

but suna can't help it, he really can't, he can't get his mind off of you and his heart still longs for you but he thinks he's exaggerating, at least now he does with the alcohol settling in his system, his mind a daze with the only thought on it being you and the fact that he's at your apartment, and his eyelids now feel heavier.

and so when you come back with a pillow and comforter for him, you find him laying on the couch, head facing the ceiling.

a small smiles stretches at your lips as you make your way over to him, "sleepy already? i guess you've had too much to handle." you chide as you begin to cover him with the comforter, his eyes are still open but droopy.

"y/n," he calls out your name and you can't help but pause at it as you answer him, "yes?"

"i love you." he says, it's quiet, a bit intimate and almost innocent as he looks at you, waiting for your answer.

you may have not noticed how eloquent his tone was, how heartfelt his words actually were, or maybe you did, maybe you just chose to ignore it or maybe you just didn't believe him no matter how honest he actually was because you frown at him with a slight pout at your lips.

you say quietly, "you're too drunk, suna."

you tuck him in, your heart beating dully in your chest, maybe you can't hear his heartbeat but you can see the way his eyes dim as his chest throbs at your words.

the january cold may have been harsh but you don't realize how much harsher your words are to him as you speak once more,

"maybe tell me that when you're sober."

prequel

[deadfebruary]

just a "I wanna be yours" girl in a "Why'd you only call me when you're high?" world

[slowestlap]

Max’s Machine by Viaplay | Imola, 12 October 2022

[leejenowrld]

what are you gonna make mfal!mc’s name in the other fics?

i’ve thought about it and i am gonna give her a name only for the fics she’s not the mc in! cus think about it, so many people will read jaemins fic but not read jenos, so like in jaemins fic they would have no prior knowledge of mfal!mc so it makes sense to give her, a side character, a name in fics where she is a side character

and ok. i’ve thought about the name and i’m stuck between haerin and hana. but i really like haerin and i wanna go with that

but i need to clarify – haerin will be a side character in my fic, an ORIGINAL CHARACTER. she has no link or correlation to haerin in newjeans, i just really like her name. plus it would be weird and completely INAPPROPRIATE if i used the actual haerin from newjeans because isn’t she a minor? and jeno is 23. so yeah. don’t think about newjeans when you see her, she’s an original character!!!

[doctorweebmd]

so there's this post floating around about like, feeling like an outsider even in a group of outsiders and i almost reblogged it being like

'aha i do that'

except. like. i know exactly why that happens, and its 100% my fault

i just have trouble maintaining relationships because i'm a poor communicator. that's been the case since high school. i dont really initiate conversations or remember to text or call people. its not from a place of indifference or anything like that - i'm sincerely an 'out of sight out of mind' kind of person.

i can not talk to and not see someone for months or years but my feelings for them don't change. it doesn't bother me if people dont check in on me or don't hang out with me or don't text me. i still like them. unfortunately that is not how 99% of the population communicates. people (rightfully) assume that when someone doesn't initiate conversation or hang-outs or doesn't check in on you, that they don't care about you. for me, thats not the case at all. like if i like you and consider you my friend, you are ALWAYS my friend. i would do anything for you and would be more than happy to talk/see each other/support you/etc. its just the day-to-day communication that i really struggle with. but thats how most relationships form - regular, consistent communication.

i've gone through periods of extreme guilt for this where i sincerely try, and make new friends, and re-connect with texting and phone calls and hanging out more often but inevitably something happens, i get busy or i forget and suddenly all this time passes and people think i dont care anymore. unfortunately that's not the case whatsoever - time is kind of abstract to me and i dont understand that while my feelings don't change, others feel more distant or abandoned.

and i've really hurt people in my life like that. friends that i've known for many years from high school/college are a LITTLE more forgiving because they know i'm just 'like that' but still. it does hurt people. like i haven't spoken to my dad in probably at least a year - not because i dont love him, but because of that same reason. he doesn't reach out and i forget and it just steamrolls because he gets hurt, doesn't reach out because he thinks i'm intentionally 'ignoring' him, and i continue to forget, and its just this viscous cycle. i haven't talked to my grandparents in months. my mom knows better and texts me every week or so, but it still hurts her that she has to reach out so regularly. she also plays these games where she sees how 'long' it takes for me to remember to reach out. a lot of people in my life have done that. its like i'm being tested on something without ever being told its a standard test, ya know? i'm always destined to fail it because i dont know how long is too long. at which point will the time and distance be unacceptable? i still dont know the answer.

and i think it makes me come off as a really heartless and callous person. its made me kind of keep people at arms-length because i know i'm not capable of being a part of most people's lives. i have perfectly normal and pleasant relationships with my coworkers and all that, but i'm generally not close with them. and i can see the confusion, because we hang out and i'm pretty normal or whatever and we have fun and then they don't hear from me for months and they're like 'uhhhh.... okay? so i guess you don't like me?'

i do. i just have different relationship maintenance standards than others i guess. so i just overall avoid being around others just because i know i'll disappoint them. it is what it is but it really is sad, in a way.

[softshuji]

Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.

[ishikawayukis]

honest question at what age do people usually graduate high school in your countries?

[gothicrocks]

𝔚𝔥𝔶 𝔡𝔬 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔬𝔫𝔩𝔶 𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔪𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔶𝔬𝔲'𝔯𝔢 𝔥𝔦𝔤𝔥? - 𝔄𝔯𝔱𝔦𝔠 𝔐𝔬𝔫𝔨𝔢𝔶𝔰

[deadfebruary]

Olivia Rodrigo gets me

[terrorbirb]

Nothing against low level jobs really, but one of our engineering techs was only a food service worker before this. Like an associates does something for you (don't know if that's what he has even he may be a student) I guess, but no wonder these guys aren't ready for engineering.

[wuxian-vs-wangji]

Okay but what is this class?

So, within the film school were 3 areas of study, and you had to pick ONE to do:

Telecommunication law and policy.

Media Sciences (The academic studies. If they could show you something and put electrodes on your head to read your brain, they're happy)

Design and Production-- actually making shit. Scriptwriting, studio, field production, sound design, editing, etc.

I did a self-created hybrid major, bridging Media Sciences with Design and Production.

----

Laid that ground information because I can only describe the classes from the way I approached them. The media psychology students got something totally different out of it and my brain just doesn't stop where theirs stopped.

If I mention the sex class, I'll end up writing that 100,000 word essay on how it is applied to LITA, so let's talk the horror one (my fav).

What the class does is get into physiologically, what happens to a person while watching horror? A lot of that is really obvious- you can become tense, anxious, your stress levels actually go DOWN overall (which is not how it feels in the moment), and you experience a rush of adrenaline.

Then you dig deeper. What is contributing to the tension? The human brain processes things at different speeds, sight is slower than sound. So sound mixing becomes both critical to creating a horror atmosphere, and also a cheat code. Anything becomes spooky if it SOUNDS spooky.

Monkey brain hear spooky, monkey brain no like spooky. Now it's dark. Monkey brain cannot see danger approach. Monkey brain fight or flight grow big.

Now, if you don't have a valve to bring the tension down (something scary, jump scares are the most lazy way), monkey brain get bored. Monkey brain start adapting to the adrenaline and your adrenal gland is like "Guys this party sucks".

And that's why M. Night Shamalan movies blow. Level tension. So at the end when he tries to ramp it up your brain has already gotten bored and gone home so it's just like "Who the fuck cares".

What else is in horror movies? Violence!

But guess what? Monkey brain feel things if they see gruesome stuff. Boy monkey brains especially.

But what's this? Girl monkey brains are different than boy monkey brains. Girl monkey brains have SO MANY MORE nerve endings (that equals empathy). You show gruesome to girl monkey brain, girl monkey brain is like "childbirth and periods are more gruesome than this" (girl monkey brain not the most feminist, the feminism comes from evolution and enlightenment).

But you show a girl monkey brain the FACE of someone in pain- the agony and the terror... That's going to slam into those nerve endings and activate Empathy Mode- and now you can imagine how that violence FEELS.

Know your demographic- based on your subject matter, the likely ratio of boy monkey brains to cater to vs girl monkey brains. Set your balance of violence and face shots to keep both on the same page with that tension you are rising and lowering.

And I did say I didn't want to get into the sex one because I don't want to rabbit hole, but sex and horror tend to walk hand in hand because they're such primal triggers.

That's the "monkey brain" theme up there. They are not speaking to you as a rational human person. They're speaking to the root code of your DNA (do not try to hijack my post to argue anti-feminist things because of monkey brain, I'm talking horror and sex).

They're poking at instinctive responses you do not consciously control on average.

So yeah

I created a hybrid major track for myself within the department (I love that my uni gave students the freedom to do that) to study media psychology and apply it not to research on the human condition, but to learn to basically brain wash and mind control my audiences.

To reach into the monkey brain and hypnotize them until they end up- as the video game design majors would say- in a flow-state where time stops existing. Just the story is left. Like a dream you don't realize you are dreaming.

... ... ... When my professor realized how I was mixing the two tracks, he started calling it the Super Villain Major.

I have no regrets.

[cuntwrap--supreme]

What is it about me that makes old white men think I'm a conservative? I need to know so I can change that.

[jikigo]

you ever just see a post and just

. 😭

.⬅️🫀⬅️

[leejenowrld]

what can we expect from the jaemin series? is it gonna be different to jenos?

more exploration of the friend groups and side characters. the first few scenes are just friend group scenes. i have a regret that in mfal i couldn’t explore the friend group but this series!!! you will see so much of the other characters. they’re very vital. especially jeno (who’s a side character in this) he has a sweet friendship with the mc in this one ;) it’s actually quite cute. i have scenes planned and it’s making me !!!! if you think you love jeno in mfal then just wait <333

a lot more sad and angsty, idk how far i’m gonna take the angst but the literal title of the fic is “why do you only call me when your high?”

wdyocm!mc is gonna be a lot self doubting then mfal!mc!! shocker i know. she’s just been through a rough patch and it shows. it’s quite sad the things i want her to go through. you know the main girl in normal people?? think her in high school and how lonely and miserable she was

hopefully heated sex scenes

interesting tropes… fake dating and fwb !! both of them yes

situationship vibes!!! :(

heated argument scenes and hopefully heated smut. i want the mc to snap at jaemin. i want her to obliterate him.

a jaemin that you may not like!! he’s gonna be a bit of a loser. he’s gonna be reckless about mc’s feelings and i hate to say it but !!! there’s gonna be a feeling that he’s only using her for sex and her body :(( yeah it fucking sucks but hey? maybe he’ll redeem himself?