#why yes I did stay up an hour and a half later than I intended

[aliosne]

slams a coffee and a weed gummy or as I like to call them the adhd bitch’s melatonin

[trippinsorrows]

with me + part two

authors note: well, holy shit, the response to this has been so unexpected yet insanely appreciated and humbling! the kind words of support and interest really have been so wonderful to receive. thank you thank you thank you!

this ended up much longer than i intended, but i couldn't find a "good" place to break it in half, so i apologize for the length.

i also feel like this is a bit on the boring but necessary side in terms of setting the scene and backdrop for what's to come....

i also feel like this is gonna def be more than 4 parts, so sorry!!!!

warnings: language, slight sexy time, suggestive themes

song inspo: with me by destiny's child

words: 7.5k

tag gang: @pixiedust4000 @southerngirl41 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @wonderingfashion @tshepisho @lizzycaraballo-blog @xiamentshoneypot

“I need a break.” He slid out of you, the absence of his thick dick noticeable and borderline uncomfortable. Despite the fact that your voice was hoarse, limbs jello, and pussy tender as all outdoors, you still wanted him. Wanted to feel him inside you. But you knew you also needed some amount of time for your body recoup for the next round, so you made logic overpowered lust.

He made a sound, lying on his back, eyes on the ceiling. “So fucking needy for this dick.”

“Shut up.” It was intentionally not a denial, because he wasn’t entirely wrong. It’d been a shitty past couple weeks, what with parent teacher conferences, your least favorite time of the year. There were only so many different ways you could try to gently explain to parents that their child wasn’t the next Cornel West and actually could benefit from “additional evaluations.” But that almost always went over their heads as they attempted to tell you, the professional, the real reason why their child wasn’t doing well.

You were just over all of it and damn near at your wits end when you got the text from Joe that he’d be in town this weekend. That goofy ‘i’m about to get some good dick’ smile was damn near stamped on your face in the days preceding his arrival. You needed an outlet, and wearing yourself out on his dick until you were physically incapacitated happened to be the perfect one, the best one.

It wasn’t like you didn’t have options, you did, but they were subpar. And that was the problem with having a chance to experience superior dick, everything else that followed was mid. No one had ever fucked you like Joe. No man before him had ever made you come from just penetration. You always needed more. Had to sometimes physically instruct them on what you needed. Not with him. He gave you more—-the man could and had stayed with his face buried between your legs for hours on end—-but it wasn’t necessary. He could fuck you to a toe curling, light blinding climax with just a few good, deep strokes.

And yes, you still struggled with the guilt of fucking someone else’s man, but in times like this, where you were beyond stressed the fuck out, all you could think about was getting off and decreasing that stress. The guilt session could come later.

“What’s wrong?” He asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence. You could both be around each other and not say a word without an ounce of discomfort. It was nice.

“Parents suck.” You answer, bluntly, afterwards realizing how vague that is. “I’ve had parent teacher conferences the past couple weeks, and they’ve been getting on my nerves trying to tell me how to do my job.”

“That sounds annoying.”

“Beyond, and makes me feel like they’re insinuating I don’t know what I’m talking about. I do. They just don’t want to hear it.” They prepared you in school, to some extent, to expect those select parents that weren’t the easiest to work with but to always stand behind your professional judgment regardless if one agreed or not. And for the most part, your parents in the years since you’d been teaching were relatively chill. It just seemed that this time of the year is when all of them decided to be in their difficult era.

One hand behind his head, Joe looks over at you. “Then that’s on them.” He shrugs. “You can’t make them hear what they don’t want to hear.”

Groaning loudly, you turn on your side, propping your own head up with your hand. “I know. It just sucks for the kids. There’s a couple who might be on the spectrum or have ADHD, but I can’t outright say it, so all I can do is strongly imply. And trust me, my implications are clear as fucking day. It’s just annoying when I have to work harder than I should to get people to be their kids' advocate, not their adversary.”

He’s quiet for a second and then asks. “What’s the best part of your job?”

The answer doesn’t even require contemplation. “My students. Hands down. I love kids. I love helping them learn and seeing the excitement on their face when they finally grasp a concept I’m teaching. It’s super rewarding.” 

His gaze lingers on you, “Then focus on that. You do this because it’s a passion and a love and you’re clearly good at it.” 

His words marinate over you, reminiscent of past conversations where you’re the one feeding positivity into him, reminding him to not lose focus of what’s most important and why he does what he does. The roles being reversed is different but nice. It’s nice to have him to talk to, it’s always easy to do so.

You move your hand to his chest and slowly walk your fingers downward. “Good dick and good advice. This trip is a double win for me.”

His jaw clenches when you begin to stroke him, sinfully and intentionally slowly. A smirk forms on your face. He’s just as needy for you as you are for him.

Joe’s voice is hoarse with desire. “You ready for the next round?”

“Yes.” You’re not sure if physically, you’re well enough, but that’s what epsom salt baths are for. And Motrin. You need him. Climbing on top, you grab his hardened length and align it at your entrance, dew coating the tip and serving as natural lubricant. “But I want to be on top this time.” 

________

“Mommy!”

You’re startled awake by the loud voice, jumping body, and smiling face of your personal alarm clock. The only alarm clock you’ve ever had that you can’t dictate the time it goes off. It takes a second for you to settle yourself, to push away the inappropriate afterthoughts of such a salacious dream—one you’re slightly disappointed couldn’t play out longer—to focus on the little human in front of you.

The shining sun beaming down on you from the curtains you’re certain she opened assists in doing just that. You rub at your eyes, a small, warm smile growing. “Good morning, Callie Bear.”

Her eyes, big, brown, and always full of curiosity are focused on you as she stops jumping and lands on her knees. “You’re up!”

You chuckle, how can you not be up with a rambunctious four year old jumping on your bed and screaming for you to wake up? ”I’m up.”

“Yay!” She cheers, tiny fists raised up and victory. “Can we have pancakes?” 

“I don’t know.” You pretend to contemplate her request, index finger against your bottom lip. “Can we?”

She pouts, and you bite on your lip to suppress your laughter. Her arms cross over her tiny chest, bonnet covered head tilting to the side. “May we have pancakes?”

Sometimes, you feel bad for your daughter, having a teacher for a mother. You’re always going to be on her about anything academic related, especially English. “We certainly can.” Yawning, you sit up in bed and scratch your scalp through your bonnet. “But first, hygiene.” 

Swooping her into your arms, you’re met with a chorus of giggles as you tickle her stomach with your index finger. Walking into the bathroom, you sit her on the counter and reach her her toothbrush, putting on her (Halle Bailey) Little Mermaid themed toothpaste before letting her do her thing as you do hers.

This is the first time in a while that you’re grateful for your daughter waking you up so early on a weekend. Those dreams….you’d be lying if you said they didn’t happen more than you’d like to admit. You’d tried to figure out what triggered them but have yet to be successful. 

The simplest answer would be that you miss him. You miss Joe, but that’s also the answer you refuse to admit. You can’t miss him. Don’t have the right to miss someone else’s man, someone else’s husband. 

All you can do is be appreciative that one of the biggest regrets in your life brought you your biggest blessing.

Calista, Callie, to almost everyone she knows, was a complete and utter surprise.

It was time for your women’s wellness exam, and in the set of questions they asked you, one was of course the date of your last menstrual cycle. Being stumped for a second was normal, hence why you used your beloved Flo app to track your cycle. But, it’s when you opened the app and realized you hadn’t logged a period in two months, you knew.

Didn’t need a blood test to tell you the obvious. 

You were most definitely pregnant. 

You’d used Flo consistently since you were 14 years old, there was no way in hell you’d forgotten for two whole months to input the period dates.

So, after crying and damn near having a panic attack, your doctor provided you with pamphlets. Options, as they were called. You wouldn’t review them until a couple days later, needing that time to process that you were actually pregnant. Pregnant by a married man that you’d ended things with, ironically, on the night your daughter was conceived.

What in the actual fuck were you supposed to do? Send him a text and say ‘nvm. Congrats, we’re expecting. Are you gonna tell your wife or should I?’ To this day, you’re convinced that the nasty wave of ‘morning sickness’ you experienced the first few weeks of finding out you were with child was actually just your absolute disgust that you’d allowed another woman’s husband to impregnate you.

It was like you were walking in the same footsteps your mother molded for you. Something you swore you’d die before letting happen.

What’s that saying? We make plans, and God laughs. Well, he must be having a field day with you. 

It was actually in confiding in Mariah, your best friend since kindergarten, that you were able to look past your shame and panic to see this for what it is.

“You want to have kids, don’t you?” She asked in an obvious tone, picking through the big bowl of popcorn you two shared while Insecure played at a low volume on your TV. “Well, here’s the kid.”

“I wanted to have kids with a husband, Mariah.”

“Well—“

“Shut up.” You tossed a few pieces of popcorn in her direction. This was not the time for her occasional joke. You were too busy having a mental breakdown.

“Does it really matter how the baby got here? Aren’t you the one always saying kids are a blessing? Why are you trying to block yours?” It’s a fair, valid point that you’re too stubborn to want to hear, even if it’s what you needed to hear. “I’m just saying if you’ve been blessed with being a mom, something you’ve always wanted. Seems kinda silly we’re having this discussion instead of baby names, baby showers, and gender reveals.”

“I’m not doing a gender reveal.” That much you are absolutely sure of. Never. But, Mariah’s words do resonate with you. Why were you so caught up on how you got pregnant? Yeah, it was fucked up, but dwelling on it did nothing but make you feel worse. You always imagined this would be a happy occasion, couldn’t you find it in you to be happy? Regardless of the father and that whole Tubi of a situation.

There was a life growing inside of you, no matter the dynamics of the creation, the child had done nothing wrong, didn’t deserve to be blamed. And the truth was you weren’t really that upset, you were more happy than anything, if you really allowed yourself to feel without reservation. Borderline excited, even. Maybe even at the fact that you would always have a small piece of him with you in a really big way. 

Even if he wouldn’t be a part of that experience.

And it was then that you decided. You didn’t care what anyone thought, couldn’t think about how your mother, who was completely unaware about your relationship with Joe for the entire three years, would react. You’d figure out the rest of this later because you were having this baby, but you were having this baby by yourself. Joe couldn’t know.

He wouldn’t know.

And almost five years later, nothing has changed. Yes, you absolutely couldn’t see yourself making it through your pregnancy and even the first few weeks postpartum without the help of your mom and Mariah. But, for the most part, you did everything you could by yourself for your daughter, wanting her to see the strength and perseverance of a strong, single mother. 

She finishes brushing before you and spits out the remnant toothpaste in her mouth. “Are we gonna see grandma today?”

You finish a few seconds after, spitting and wiping your mouth before answering. “We certainly are.”

“Yay!” She celebrates as you bring the towel to her face, giving it a gentle cleanse before tossing it into the hamper. Callie wastes no time in removing her bonnet and giving her curls a good shake. The two of you share a laugh as you follow suit. 

 “Pancake time?”

Separating some of her coils, you answer with a wink. “Let mommy wash her face, and I’ll be right out, kiddo.”

“Okay.” Nodding, she jumps off the counter and hurries into the kitchen knowing good and well what’s about to come out of your mouth.

“Sis, what have I told you about jumping off this damn counter?” All you hear is giggling in the wake of her dash. This child has daredevil tendencies that bring out a certain, uncomfortable level of anxiety. Medical bills weren’t in the budget, so you needed her to calm the hell down. 

She probably gets it from–

Shaking your head from unnecessary thoughts, you quickly work your way through your routine and eventually meet her in the kitchen to find her on her tablet, probably trying to figure out what movie to put on while you two cook. On the weekends, you remove the passcode from her device but still maintain the time limits for her overall screen time. 

You refuse to allow her to become an “ipad kid.”

“What’cha pick for us?” Moving through the kitchen, you pull out the necessary items and place them on the small island. 

Climbing onto the barstool, she flips the screen with a proud smile. “Moana!”

Gasping with faux surprise, you ask, “again?”

Much like her mother who was like her mother, an affinity and passion for all things Disney is another thing your child inherited. She could watch Disney movies for the rest of life and never get bored. And Moana was at the top of that list, the new Little Mermaid was a close favorite, but Moana resonated deeply with Callie for reasons you still don’t fully understand. 

Well, she is half Pacific Islan—

Clearing your throat, you and Callie get to work on breakfast, both singing along and dancing to the catchy Disney music. It’s a sweet bonding moment between the two of you, a bit of a tradition on the weekends. You’re not much of a cook, at all, but breakfast food is relatively simple. And thankfully, your child is not as picky as some other kids. A stack of pancakes with sausage is always enough to satisfy her. 

It’s when you’re both sitting in the living room, on the floor, legs crossed while you eat the delicious breakfast that you’d prepared together that a thought crosses your mind.

A distraction could be beneficial, the dream from earlier still floating around in the back of your head. And not even the dream in as much as the main event from the theme. 

You needed some dick. It’d been too long, that itch needing a scratch to give you some much needed reset. 

So, it’s when Callie is focused on the scene in Moana when Maui’s hook is broken that you grab your phone and shoot off a text. 

You free today?

Not even five minutes later, your phone buzzes with a response. 

Just tell me when and where.

________

Walking through the doors of your mother’s hair salon is always an experience, nostalgic almost, to all the times you and your friends would hang out there with the hopes that you could get free or discounted services. Usually free for you, not so much for your friends. 

Business was still business.

The familiar smell of hair oils, deep conditioner, and the overall sound of flat irons sizzling through hair brings a warm smile to your face. It’s things like this, this place even, that remind you why you decided to come home after college.

Home, where the closest major stores like Target and Walmart, and even the airport, are nearly half an hour away. Where you have only one elementary school, one middle school, and one high school. Where many of the streets are two laned and littered with storefronts, like your mom’s salon. Hell, the freaking bank, post office, and city hall are in the same building.

Everyone knows everyone, and for the most part, everyone looks out for each other. 

It isn’t for everybody, this almost Hallmark movie type setup. You know this. Hence why many leave for school and never or seldom return. But, for you, it’s home.

It’s also the perfect place to discreetly and raise the daughter of a celebrity.

“Grandma!”

Your mom is in the middle of a conversation with a patron but almost immediately redirects her attention to the equally familiar voice of Calista. “There’s my grandbaby!” Callie runs into your mom’s arms and is peppered with kisses all over. “Looking more and more like your mama every day.”

That genuinely makes you smile. You tend to think she favors Joe more than yourself, usually when she’s making certain facial expressions. She has a lot of his mannerisms, which you are grateful for, happy that she has characteristics from both sides. But any and all of the good things she can take from you, you want her to have.  

Callie’s smile is bright and infectious, as always. “That’s cause mommy’s my mommy!”

You laugh, approaching them and leaning in for your mom’s one armed hug as she has Callie in her other arm. “Hey, mama.”

“Hey, baby.”

Your relationship with your mom has definitely been up and down over the years, which you’d like to think is the standard for most mother-daughters. It’s something that’s arguably strengthened over time, especially post Callie. You’d gained so much more appreciation for your mother raising you on her own as a single parent. There was always appreciation, but infinitely more now as you were also in the same position.��

“I was hoping she could hang out with you for a little bit today. I have some business to take care of. If that’s okay?” 

Your mother gives you the look, the look that indicates she knows there’s more to what you’re saying but she won’t push out of respect for your privacy. And you’re grateful for that. You don’t necessarily want to explain that you need her to keep an eye out on Callie while you attend your dick appointment. 

Sucking her teeth, she starts walking to the back where her office is located. “When have I ever had an issue spending time with my only grandchild?” She has you there. Your mom would take Callie every day if you let her, and you’re so thankful for that. Not even for the tremendous assistance your mom provides but for the close relationship she has with Callie, similar to how close you were with your grandma. “Want me to do her wash day for her while she’s here?”

At that, Callie’s eyes go wide as she starts to whine, “noooo. I don’t want to.”

You chuckle. “That’s how mommy feels too, babes.” You dreaded her wash day as much as you dreaded your own. The women in your family were blessed with long, thick, healthy curls that Callie clearly inherited from you but also her father’s side cause the girl had some hair. “If you don’t mind, mama.”

She waves off your unnecessary added comment and starts to assess the state of Callie’s hair, murmuring comments to herself. 

You lean down in front of Callie and move your hand to her knee. “You sure you’re gonna be okay, sweetie?”

She nods and asks, “can we get ice cream when you come back?”

“We surely can.” You don’t allow her to have a lot of sweets—she already has enough energy as it is—but every so often, you two get the homemade ice cream cones at the local parlor. Sometimes you’ll sit outside and just talk, sharing laughs and inside jokes over the best ice cream anyone could ever have. And considering she’s about to endure a wash day, she deserves it. “I love you, Callie Bear.”

Putting her tablet on her lap, she leans over and hugs you tight. For such a tiny human, she always gives the best, most loving hugs. “I love you too, mama.”

Callie goes back to her tablet, and you issue your mom one more statement of appreciation before heading out so you can have your urge squashed and get back in time to have dessert with your little girl. 

On the car ride there, you send up a quick prayer that this time will be different, that you can get what you need and be gone without being asked to stay. It’s always the same answer, so maybe the last one finally stuck to where he won’t hope.

Won’t get his own feelings hurt.

________

“You know you don’t always have to leave right away.”

Of course.....of course.

You’re in the midst of hooking your bra back on when he hits you with the offer you were stupidly hoping he’d pass on this time around. 

Bold of you to assume you could come get some dick without this man trying to turn it into a cuddle session. 

Your smile is tight as you politely decline. “I don’t want to leave Callie at the salon too long. You never know what she’s hearing.”

It’s a weak excuse, hence him poking a hole right through it. “You know your mom would shut that down right away. Get back in the bed.”

“Really, Amir, I can’t stay.” Once your bra is on, you reach on the ground for your panties, sliding them back on as well. The sooner you get yourself decent, the sooner you can dip.

“Can’t or won’t?”

And here it goes. Sometimes, you wonder why you continue to put yourself in this situation. Amir’s stroke game is nice, but is it really worth this constant routine? You two fuck, he tries to make it more, an argument, silence on both ends for a little while until one of you needs that urge handled. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. 

It’s been roughly the same since you were in high school.

Amir was your first damn near everything: first crush, first boyfriend, first kiss, first time. It was a textbook small town romance. He was the quarterback, and you were the cheerleading captain. Everyone said you were perfect together and predicted at one point you’d get married after college. Truthfully, you once thought the same. But outside of aesthetics, your relationship was always rocky, borderline toxic. 

He had poor boundaries with other girls but never saw an issue because it never went beyond flirting. And because you were young, dumb, and just as toxic sometimes, you’d intentionally flirt with other guys to piss him off, knowing it was wrong to drag innocents into your Bobby and Whitney of a relationship but more interested in making him see your side of it.. 

Still, young and dumb. Not an excuse, but definitely a reason.

Even as you both went off to college, each attending separate schools, you’d occasionally hookup during the winter breaks. More often during the summer. He was your constant, preferred over allowing random dick into you, especially as he was most familiar and you knew he was clean. The devil you know type of thing.

Post college was when you really ended it, deciding that it was time to put the childish things behind you, time to put him behind you.

And you’d done relatively well for a while, the two of you becoming damn near strangers. Especially when Joe came into the picture. Amir was good in bed, but Joe was heavenly. Just the thought of anyone other than him fucking you at that time was repulsing. 

But, Joe is gone, has been, so now you’re stuck returning to the same nigga you just can’t seem to get rid of because he has a decent sized dick he, mostly, knows how to use.

And your rose can only go so far. 

“Fine. Won’t. Don’t. Not interested.” Standing up, you shoot him a look of challenge, of defiance. “Better?”

Your words understandably tick him off as he cruelly asks, “How long are you gonna let yourself be stuck on him? That nigga abandoned you and his kid, what is there to even be stuck on?”

Regardless of what happened between you and Joe, mostly with how it played out, you refuse to allow anyone to speak badly of him. Specifically when it pertains to his absence in your and Callie’s lives, especially since that was 100% your call. Only a select few know the full story, therefore the majority have no right to speak on it. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, so please just shut the fuck up.”

“Where is he then, huh? It’s been almost 5 years, Y/N. You need to move the fuck on. He’s your past.” Moving out of the bed, he comes up to you and places one hand to your face. You fight the desire to pull away. His touch is suddenly uncomfortable, feels wrong and noisome. “It’s time to focus on your future.”

Not that you’d ever admit it to Amir, but there’s a hint of truth to his voice. Eventually, random hookups to fulfill your sexual needs will become insufficient. Hell, even now, you still desire to be married, to give Callie that 'traditional' family. The problem is mostly lack of options, even if Amir seems convinced you two should give it another try.

 When hell freezes over. 

Your voice is even and to the point as you finish dressing and pull out your key fob. “Like I said, thanks for the scratch, but that’s all this is.” Without giving him time to talk more shit, you head out the door without another fucking word.

________

“Oh shit, is that ole girl Randy used to mess with?” Joe is only halfheartedly listening to what his cousin is saying, mostly focused on the work email he’s reading on his phone. It’s far and few in between they actually have time off, let alone enough time to go home and be among the rest of family. He’s trying to enjoy it and is enjoying it, but work is always on his mind, hence his inability to ignore the email notification that slid in mid-group conversation. “What was her name?”

“It started with an M, didn’t it?” Jey suggests. “Mariah, I think.” 

It's when the correct name is stated that Joe’s attention is briefly redirected. Mariah was your friend, the reason he was ever introduced to you. It’s a name he hasn’t heard in years. If only that was the same amount of time it’s been since he thought of you. No, instead, you’ve taken up real estate in his mind more than he’d ever like to admit or acknowledge.

“Wait, isn’t that—-” Jimmy is silenced, and out of the corner of Joe’s eye, he can see it’s because Jey gave him a look. That look you give someone when you want them to shut up.

Now…now they have his attention.

“What?” It’s when the twins share a look with each other, Jey shaking his head that Joe puts his phone to the side as Jimmy hits the lock button on his phone. “Let me see.” 

“Look, Uce—”

“I said, let me see.” One thing Joe can’t stand more than anything is when people beat around the bush or try to hide things from him. He prefers people to be upfront and honest, damn whatever feelings come up. The truth is always better, in his mind.

And yet……

Shaking his head, Jimmy blows out a breath and hands his cousin the phone.

Joe looks down and instantly regrets ever pushing the matter.

Five years.

It’s been almost five fucking years since he’s seen that beautiful smile, those deep dimples that were one of the first things he noticed about you, outside of your breathtaking beauty. You looked almost exactly the same, maybe a bit heavier, still in all of the right places. Hair a little longer but still the same deep onyx with streaks of purple. You’re smiling and posing with Mariah who also hasn’t changed much outside of a new hair color and the huge baby bump she’s sporting. A baby shower, he’d guess. 

But outside the shock of seeing you, Joe’s attention is also on the third person in the photo. A child, young in age, no more than 4 or 5, black, curly hair styled in two space-buns and a deep dimpled smile that’s almost identical to yours. Her eyes are a beautiful light brown shade, a contrast to your chocolate colored eyes.

But similar to….similiar to his. 

Brows furrowed, Joe is surprised to see you’re tagged in the photo, so he goes to your profile and is even more shocked to find it public. You were always such a private person, but he chalks it up to the fact that the only people who’d really know how to find it would have to be those close to you.

You don’t have a ton of pictures, but he clicks on the first one that has a set of photos of you and the same little girl from the baby shower. It’s dated almost six months ago, so not the newest but better than nothing. The post is a slideshow, so he begins to scroll through the photos, each of them with you and that same child, clearly at various points in her life. The last one stops him for a moment, a photo of you, crying, in a hospital bed holding a newborn baby. 

Swallowing back his emotions, Joe redirects his gaze to the caption:

my calista, my callie, my baby girl. God used one of the hardest periods of my life to bless me with the best gift anyone can receive. every day with you is an adventure. from your incessant questions about the most random of things, constant requests for disney movie marathons, to the way you refuse to part from me without giving the biggest hug and kiss goodbye while yelling ‘i love you, mommy!’. callie, you are my whole heart, and there’s nothing i wouldn’t do for you, sweet girl. here’s to year 4 and many many more of having the biggest honor and privilege ever of being your mama bear. 

So many things are going through his head right now. 

You had a child.

You have a child.

Based upon the date of the post, you have a child who will be five years old in a couple of months.

A child who has your smile, but his eyes, his nose, and a complexion that looks the perfect combination of the two of you. She looks like the perfect combination of the two of you.

It’s hard to not jump to the obviously glaring conclusion that all of this brings, and still, he tries to not allow his head to go there. You would….you would never do that. You would never keep his child from him, no matter how things ended between the two of you. There was wrongness to that that reached low levels of depravity, and he just couldn’t conjoin that kind of deception with who he always knew you to be. 

You were a woman who believed and tried to live by her morals. It was the reason you eventually cut him out of your life. Nothing about not telling him he has a child is moral. 

He wordlessly hands the phone back to Jimmy and goes back to reading the email, acting like nothing just happened and he doesn't have a million and one thoughts running through the back of his mind. 

It’s after he walks away, giving off an excuse that he needs to call Hunter to discuss a proposed promo that the conversation commences.

“So, we all just gon act like that lil' girl don’t look like Uce? She even got his eyes, man,” Jimmy, being Jimmy, is the first to say it aloud, the only one to actually verbalize what the others are thinking. 

“Jimmy,” Naomi chides but can’t help adding. “Do you really think that could be his kid?”

Jey decides to join in on the conversation. “It’s possible. They messed around for years.”

“But would she really do that? Have his baby and not even tell him about her?” Naomi only met you a handful of times, but all of the interactions were pleasant, and she secretly thought you and Joe would have made a cute couple if the stars were aligned differently. “She had to have told him.”

Jimmy gestures to the sliding door Joe walked through minutes earlier. “Does that look like he knew?”

“This is all just speculation.” Joseph decides to join the conversation, always the one who prefers to listen to all sides before adding his two cents. “Similiar facial features don’t mean they’re related.”

“No, but add in the timeline plus the way it ended, and you can’t help but lean one way.”

“What did happen between them?” Somewhat newer to this circle, Joseph realizes that’s a topic he’s never really heard much about. He knows his cousin basically has an open marriage and sleeps around, but he’s always heard whispers there was a woman he was with for years. 

“She just ended it one day.” Jey answers with a shrug. “Uce really ain't say much outside of that. It was sudden though.”

“But was it? Three years of waiting around for a guy to maybe or maybe not leave his wife for you?” Naomi serves as a counter, shaking her head and leaning forward to rest her chin in her hand. “Sounds like more than enough time to me.”

“It wasn’t nothing like that though. They was just messing around,” Jimmy defends.

“He cut off every other woman he was messing with when they were together.” Jey distinctly remembers how his cousin had one woman and only one woman on speed dial during that period, and it was you. It was always you. “I think it was more than just messing around.”

Joseph nods, taking in all this information. “So, if she is his, do you think she kept her a secret to get back at him for not divorcing Jadah?” It’s a bold question, but a valid one that Jey is the first to dispute.

“Naw, I’m with Naomi. Y/N wouldn’t do that.”

Jimmy shakes his head, starting to see how this is all looking to play out. “Well, if that is Joe’s daughter and that’s how he found out he has a child….this shit is about to get real ugly.”

________

Joe tried to tell himself it was just a wild coincidence. Reminded himself that you yourself said you wanted to get married, have kids. And you’d done that, had a kid. However, revisiting your Instagram pictures, in none of your posts did he see a man.

Or a wedding ring.

And just how fucking quickly could you have moved on? Doing the math, you would have had to have someone on speed dial to get pregnant as fast as you did. And that doesn’t line up with who he knew you to be. You were fucking him and only him. 

You were with him and only him.

So that left him and only him.

And like a man hyperfixated on trying to solve a puzzle, he looks at every single post on your Instagram, starting from the year you met up until now. He focuses especially on the posts that include your daughter, not that many, but enough. 

And when it’s all said and done, thoughts vs counterthoughts, logic vs emotion, Joe is 100% convinced that this is his child.

That he’s just now found out he’s a father through fucking Instagram. 

And now he’s pissed because who the hell were you to keep his child from him? He didn’t give a fuck how you felt about him and his being married, that didn’t give you an excuse to hide a whole kid? 

His kid. 

________

“Ready for your bedtime story, Callie Bear?” 

Reading with Callie has been a must since you found out you were pregnant. Your mom always told you how she read to you in the womb and to this day believes it’s why you always tested out so high with your reading abilities, even in the first grade. You’re not sure how accurate it is, having read some studies and whatnot, but you’ve followed suit, reading to Callie even when she was in your belly. Almost five years later, it’s now a tradition. She can’t go to sleep without a story.

She nods happily. You laugh and slide into the bed next to her. Naturally, she cuddles close to you, book already picked out and waiting on the bed. It’s one she’s heard a dozen times before but one of her favorites, so you read it just as theatrically, voice changes, and everything. Her giggles of happiness and merriment warm your heart. You love these one-on-one moments, wishing you could jar them and keep them stored away forever.

You’re a couple chapters in when she starts to yawn, eyes struggling to stay open, that you slide in the bookmark and promise to pick it up again tomorrow. You know Callie is ready to call it a night when she doesn’t protest. 

But, it’s after placing the book on the shelf and going to tuck her into her covers that she hits you with a question that nearly sends you into cardiac arrest.

“Mommy, why don’t I have a daddy?”

You’re not stupid, far from it. This question was bound to come up, sooner or later. For your own selfish sake though, you were hopeful for later, much much later.

She continues, almost nervous in tone. “Ms. Leah said you need a mommy and a daddy to make a baby, so where’s my daddy?”

Curious how the conversation of where babies came from came about, you make a mental note to discuss this with your daughter’s preschool teacher before working to answer her valid question. Truth be told, you have no idea how to answer it. But if anxiety was the dominant emotion before, sadness and devastation easily topple that at the next thing to come out of her mouth.

“Does he not  love me?”

It’s not until that moment that you truly know what it feels like for your heart to shatter into absolute pieces.

“Oh, baby….” Crouching down beside her bed, you move your hand to her forehead, thumb gently caressing her soft skin. You’re so damn lost on how to handle this, what to say to take away her obvious pain, that you go with the soonest thing that hits the forefront of your brain. “Your daddy…..he….he wasn’t ready to be a daddy.”

It could be the truth, it could be a lie. You never gave yourself—or him—the chance to find out, and up until this point, you never saw an issue with that. But now….now you’re wondering just who you made that decision for. 

And if it was the right one.

Callie’s frown deepens, the answer clearly not one that makes her feel any better. “What if I’m a really good girl? Will he be ready then?”

The shattered pieces are now dust, granulated dust that you struggle to hold together in trembling palms. You bring both hands to her face. “Calista, you listen to me. You are the kindest, sweetest, most amazing little girl in the whole wide world. You don’t need to do anything to be a good girl because you are already a good girl, the best girl.”

Her eyes glaze over as she sniffles and asks in a small voice. “So why doesn’t he want me?”

“Oh, sweetie…” You pull her into a hug, holding her close and tight, as if doing so will allow her to absorb all of the love and adoration you have for this tiny human who made your life have meaning. “I’m gonna talk to him, okay? I’ll….I’ll talk to him.” That’s all you can say, even if it’s not a guarantee, even if you have no idea where such an offer came from. And you hate yourself for doing that, for getting her hopes up over something that may not even happen. You haven’t spoken to Joe in almost five years, there’s no guarantee the number is even still the same.

Still, you know you have to at least try, especially when you pull back and see the renewed hope in her teary eyes, the eyes she shares with the father she’s clearly desperate to know about, to meet, to have. 

You close your eyes and press your forehead against hers, speaking with all the love and affirmation in the world, “I love you, Calista. Always, baby.” 

You’re relieved to hear her reply in a less saddened and more hopeful tone, “I love you too, mommy.”

It’s after you’re certain Callie is knocked out and you’ve exhausted every single step of your nighttime routine that you pace around your room, partially trying to avoid an action you know you need to take. 

Especially when you find his number in your phone from an old text thread you could never find it in you to delete. 

You go back and forth for nearly twenty minutes before deciding on a simple question.

is this still joe’s number?

You feel like a damn child, throwing the phone down on the bed and burying your face into your hands. This is so much more difficult than it needs to be, or maybe it isn’t. You made the executive decision to not make Joe aware of your pregnancy for a variety of reasons that felt solid at the time.

Now…now you don’t know any fucking thing anymore, it seems. 

What you do know is that you nearly jump off the bed when your phone begins to ring. Frowning, you look at the time, wondering who in the hell could be calling you at damn near midnight.

But, it’s when you lift your phone to see the caller you know exactly why someone is calling you at damn near midnight.

Ignoring it is so tempting, but the image of Callie in tears wondering why she’s not loved or wanted is more than enough to trample your selfish desires. Sliding the green button upward, you place the phone against your ear, take a deep breath, and speak, “hi.” 

He exhales, your name leaving his mouth for the first time in years. Hearing his voice, let alone hearing him say your name, creates a heaviness you weren’t expecting. Then again, you weren’t expecting to speak to him at all tonight.

Or ever, for that matter.

Communication is suddenly incredibly difficult as you struggle to string words together to create a cohesive statement. “I’m….I’m sorry for calling so late, but—”

“We need to talk.” While your tone is soft and nervous, his is serious and borderline stoic. It takes you for a bit of a loop, but you try not to put too much into it. The real focus should be why he interrupted you so harshly with such a bold statement. He’s not wrong, but why does he think you need to talk? “I’ll get a flight out tomorrow.”

That breaks you from your thoughts. A what?  “wait—”

“You still at the same place?”

Swallowing, still very much confused, you answer, “yes, but—”

“I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

The phone goes silent on the other end, and you realize it’s because he’s ended the call. You must stare at that phone for a good five minutes in complete utter shock. Eventually, coming out of the catatonia, only one thought circulates around your mind.

What in the actual fuck just happened? 

[diary-of-my-devil]

Sometime In October 2015

I don’t recall this date, but I know it was early in the relationship. He had to use his mom’s phone to communicate with me for the first couple months of our relationship. I later found out it was because he went through phones often. In a fit of rage he would throw them and break them beyond repair. Even when he had a phone, it always had a crack or two.

It was our first long phone call, I believe. One that lasted for a few hours. I remember telling him multiple times that I was trying to maintain a proper sleep schedule. Insomnia had been a large part of my life for as long as I could remember, and despite knowing I’d probably be up much longer than intended, I still tried to be in bed with the lights out at a decent time. It was a school night.

He had told me not to worry about it. That I would get over having to stay up late to accommodate when he wanted to talk. I brushed it off because it wasn’t his phone, after all, and he didn’t have it as much as I had my phone. 

We discussed many things, but this one particular conversation was, in retrospect, the one that showed me a lot of bright red flags that were desperately trying to make themselves known. Firstly was the fact that I wasn’t able to go to bed when I wanted, because he wanted me to be on the phone.

Second, my hair. God, throughout our entire relationship he was obsessive about my hair. I had made it known to him that as soon as my aunt was married and the wedding was over, I was getting my hair cut. Waist length hair didn’t match what I felt like on the inside. He wasn’t happy with that.

“It’s so beautiful.” He had said despite the fact he had never seen it in its full glory. The only time we had ever seen each other involved the vast majority of my hair being hidden for a reason. He had only seen my overgrown bangs and the auburn shade my hair had turned after taking Color Oops to black box dye. 

I was a doormat, yes, but I stayed stern in cutting my hair. It was negatively affecting me. I needed it cut. Countless times I had stood in front of my bathroom mirror crying on the verge of taking a shitty pair of scissors to my hair. I was going to do this. I was going to cut my hair. And then I would dye it, because I’m in high school now and my dad finally agreed to it. 

Third, drugs. Weed, specifically. Nowadays, I have absolutely no problem with weed. I take half of a gummy about once a week to help ease the tension that makes my various aches and pains worse and I had smoked a bit since I had started college.

Younger me was not as receptive, though. All drugs are bad, thanks to what my law enforcement dad and my years in public school had taught me. He was odd about approaching this subject. His first time trying to skirt around a subject by not saying his plan, instead implying it to me.

“Your dad is going to have to get over the weed thing.” He had said to me. I asked why, genuinely confused. His answer was because he liked it, and since he liked it, I would have to like it too. This was the first time I felt something akin to peer pressure like this. Yes, we had only been dating for a short time, but he was my boyfriend. He knew more than I did. 

I managed to skirt around the conversation as well. I changed the subject but after the call was over and it was past the bedtime I had set for myself, I thought about it. I didn’t do drugs, never had and didn’t have the intention to. Jesus christ by that point my dad had been threatening me with drug tests for the past couple years.

I didn’t tell my friends. For your information, that will be a common theme. Secrecy on my end. I didn’t tell my friends a lot of things. It was not a conscious decision, but of course hindsight is 20/20 and I think I knew that these conversations and behaviors were wrong and I felt the need to protect him. 

This was the true start of me learning that I was not the one in control here.

[brokenmug]

So, finally, after almost a YEAR - I'm back here. [I was wrong, I had written probably the longest piece on my phone, which I totally forgot for nearly a year]

And you may just guess why, or better be, how.

There's just so much I could have written all those months, difficult months, but it wasn't - I might just say - electrifying enough. Yes.

Without throwing any riddles (to whom, by the way, myself, or you AQ?), let's just say ever since I wrote here last - guessing by the title date, otherwise, I honestly still don't know exactly when - I haven't been, glad enough just to have happened to come here. Yeah.

So, without even knowing what I last wrote here, I definitely would arrive at today's feelings by going along how the past year had been. It's just how it works for me.

So... I know I had tried my best, beginning September 2022, or post that month, post that "first" meeting, because I never intended to "go back" to her, to see if we can work out something this time, especially what she told me in that meeting. Ups and downs followed, some really good moments too, but with me coming to the conclusion that she wouldn't do it, and hence, it wouldn't be simply right for us to continue talking. I ended, for many reasons including just for being right. It was March 2023.

We probably talked again a month later, as I do remember somewhat, but then, for things to go down, as was expected, and half-heartedly wanted by me, for next four months, when suddenly or not, I wanted to talk again. That's just me, her, and us. That's how it has always been. For over 10 years by that time, nearly 11, I had hated her, but I had loved her more - much much more. I texted her, to learn how she had been. But it wasn't a welcome thing to happen, just an extremely brief conversation, and with sadness to get over my entire existence. How would I write anything here? What would I tell, or say, to be read later?

And here we are, five months later. Those five months... Probably have been as hard as I can say, something like it was back in the golden days of my life... Yes, the hostel days. My love had resurrected after meeting her after so many years (5 and a half) only for me to unsuccessfully try to move on, once again, beginning with that conversation in March. It never happened. I kept thinking, waiting, expecting, and trying to control the sadness by doing what not? Music? Smoking? Drinking? AQ, you were just simply back, probably stronger than ever... 😞

And that's why, and how, as I said in the beginning, I texted you again, this week, as I wanted to meet you and see how you have been... And not miss a chance to know about your life, and ultimately miss a chance of being together... Well, it was a good conversation, I totally didn't hold up as I had thought - I was high, texting you - you've always been my true high AQ. I felt like you would text, and actually ask if I would be coming to meet. You didn't though, and naturally, being upset about it, I decided I would not go and would tell you before the weekend ends. And I did. But it turned out differently, again. You know it well, you know it sooo well AQ since campus days, as I always said it too, it's probably in this blog too already, that I could never stay angry at you for long. And so, you won this time, too. You always did. It was an ecstatic moment talking to you like an hour ago.

I mean, wow, all those years, that decade; togetherness, breakups, closeness, breaking up, separation, long years apart, moving on, you marrying too, and then meeting again, days reminiscing, and apart again... And here I am, still in touch, still able to just exchange our words with each other... 😞 Then why, why, why not permanently together? So lucky after like 7 years of permanent separation, I'm still with you somehow 💔 that's more time than us actually being together those 5 years... Then why not together my AQ? Buht aayin gayin yaaden, magar is baar tumhi ana... I don't want to let you go. I just want to stay in touch. Yes, things have changed. I said, last year, that if we couldn't work up for it, then it's better to not stay in touch. Last year? I said like a few days ago, I wanted to know just for the last time what were you thinking, but no! I am here. Just stay around AQ ❤️

So, isn't that the perfect time to come back here and write?

Signing off for now, AJ.

[casspurrjoybell-25]

November - Chapter 15

*Warning Adult Content*

- Cooper -

Cooper and Oliver ended up ruining both beds.

They had intended to go back to Oliver’s bed when they woke up in the morning but things moved too quickly and Cooper didn't want to stop for them to relocate.

It was his fault for also having condoms and lube hidden in the guest bedroom as well.

Otherwise, they would have been forced to go back to Cooper’s bedroom.

"I think I'm done," Oliver says, flopping over onto his back.

"I can't anymore."

"Yeah, I think I'm done too.” Cooper laughs. “And we really have been in bed all morning. It's going to be lunchtime soon."

"I suppose we should get up so I can see something today," Oliver says.

"Since that's why I'm in Washington."

"What do you have in mind?"

"You mentioned something on the plane, something about a cape. Or cove?"

"Cape Flattery. It's the northwesternmost point of the US, not counting Alaska. You can see great sunsets there if the weather's cooperating."

"Let's do it," Oliver says.

"Even if the weather isn't cooperating, I still want to see it."

"It's an hour and a half drive each way. You up for that?"

"After wearing myself out in bed with you, a long drive sounds great. Is the hike out to Cape Flattery long?"

"Nope, less than two miles. How about this, I'll go pick up some dinner for us to have when we're there and while I'm out getting that, you can wash all the sheets so we have a clean bed to sleep in tonight."

"Deal."

Oliver leans over and kissed Cooper.

                                           ******

A couple hours later, Cooper loads a small cooler and his backpack into his truck.

He had packed a nice tablecloth his mother had given him, an electric lantern and some durable plates.

He had stopped at the deli when he went to the store and had sandwiches made, with nice bread and better ingredients than the usual sub sandwiches and picks up a few sides to go along with them.

On his way home from the store, I goes to a gift shop to get a tiny floral tabletop  arrangement.

His plan was to create a picnic dinner under the stars.

Cooper was nervous.

He didn't know if Oliver would like this or if his effort would be enough compared to what he was used to in California.

For Cooper, it was going to be a fancy picnic but to most people it might be considered simple and nothing special.

Cooper wanted to do something nice for Oliver, something to cheer him up after his break-up and let him know that he cared.

Something more than just great sex.

"Is everything ready?" Oliver asks, coming down the steps of Cooper’s front porch.

"Yep. Are you ready? Hat, gloves, scarf, coat? It can get chilly once the sun is down."

"I've got all that. Thanks for making sure I stay warm," Oliver replies, stepping close to Cooper and brushing his lips against the other man’s mouth.

"Of course."

Cooper kissed Oliver back, opening his mouth and putting his hands on his hips.

Oliver’s tongue meets Cooper’s and they are kissing for a few seconds before he pulls away.

"We need to focus on actually getting there," Oliver laughs.

"You're right," Cooper says, grinning back.

"Let's go."

During the long drive there, Oliver stays glued to the window.

It made Cooper happy how enthralled he was with the scenery.

"What else do you want to see while you're here?" Cooperasks.

"Is there anything that's walking distance from Forks? You know, that I could see on my own while you're with your family tomorrow for Thanksgiving? And I meant to ask if I need to find something to do on Friday also, in case you're doing stuff with your family for more than one day."

Cooper glances over at him.

"Why do you think, I am not seeing you on Thanksgiving? You know you're coming with me to my parents' house, right?"

"I am?"

"You're in a state you've never been before, recently abandoned by your boyfriend and you don't know anyone but me. Did you think I was going to let you spend Thanksgiving alone?"

"Yes?"

Cooper tusked and shook his head.

"Clearly you don't know me well enough yet."

"Are you sure? I don't wanna intrude. I'm a stranger to your family and we've only known each other for a little more than a week."

"I'm sure. Anyone's welcome when it comes to my family. My mom would yell at me if I didn't invite you and she found out about you and your situation later. Besides, I already called her when I was out getting the food and told her I'd be bringing you."

Oliver was looking at Cooper with a soft smile on his face, his dimple barely visible.

"Thanks, Cooper. That's really kind of you and your family, and I'm looking forward to meeting them. Especially Annabelle."

"She'll love you. And she'll want to know what you thought of her s'mores cookies."

"They were amazing, so I'll have no problem giving her plenty of praise."

Cooper smiled back, taking his eyes from the road for a second so he could look at Oliver.

‘I don't know how I got so lucky to meet this incredible guy.’

                                           ******

The layer of clouds above them had started to break up by the time they got to the parking area for the trail.

They made their way through the forest, the sound of the ocean growing louder through the trees the closer they got.

Cooper was glad to see the sky was more than halfway clear but still had enough clouds to create a dynamic sunset.

"There are a few viewpoints," Cooper tells Oliver.

"Near the coves, we'll see different kinds of birds and if we're lucky, some sea otters or sea lions. There's also an island not too far in the distance with a lighthouse on it."

"Let's check out the coves first," Oliver says.

"It might be easier to see animals before the sun starts going down."

Cooper leads him over to that viewing platform and watches his reactions.

He loved seeing Oliver’s joy and appreciation for the places he had taken him.

"The teal water is gorgeous," he said, turning around to look at me.

"I really do think the Pacific Northwest is one of the most beautiful places in the world. I'm so glad I chose to come here."

Cooper steps up behind Oliver, putting his hands on the railing and enveloping his slender body.

"If you look down to the right, there are a couple sea lions on the rock."

"There are?" Oliver asks, his voice getting louder with excitement as he leans over the railing to look.

"Oh yeah, I see them."

Cooper keeps his hands on Oliver’s hips as he scans the cove, pointing out everything he sees.

Cooper listens but he’s distracted.

He loved having his hands on him.

He wanted his hands on him all the time and he was already looking forward to tonight.

Last night and this morning had been incredible.

Oliver made him feel amazing and desired.

He'd never had issues with his body but he knew being thick and hairy didn't appeal to everyone.

He wasn't sure if he'd appeal to a cute California guy with a perfect body but Oliver seemed genuinely attracted to him.

The thought made him smile.

They moved to the other viewpoints, stopping at the one that overlooked the ocean and the island with the lighthouse.

The sun was going down, casting an orange glow onto the teal water and lighting up the cliffs.

The clouds remaining in the sky turned pink as the sunset progressed.

Cooper was holding Oliver in his arms as they watched, hugging him so his back was pressed against his chest.

Cooper couldn't resist nuzzling the side of Oliver’s face and kiss his cheek.

Oliver turned his head and captured Cooper’s lips, kissing him long and slow before he turns in his arms.

Oliver puts his arms around Cooper’s neck, which the older man was finding he liked more and more each time he did it.

They watched the sun set and traded kisses but eventually Cooper had to pull away because things were getting too heated.

"I'm going to find a picnic table and get our food out. You stay here and take some more pictures."

"Okay," Oliver said, smiling softly at him.

Cooper doubted they'd see anyone else this late but he found one of the more secluded picnic tables anyway.

After brushing off a few stray leaves, he laid the tablecloth down and added the electric lantern and tabletop arrangement.

It was made of tiny white flowers and some type of small green leaves, so it fit in well with the surroundings.

He put the sandwiches on plates and set out the side dishes.

Then he stepped back and took it all in.

It looked good to him but he hoped Oliver would think so too.

The light was beginning to fade when Cooper went back to Oliver and he knew that because they were far away from any light pollution, the stars would be out soon.

"Did you get some good pictures?"

"I think so."

"You'll have to show me after we eat. Dinner is ready."

Cooper took Oliver's hand and led him around the trees to the picnic table and he stopped as soon as he saw it.

His mouth dropped open slightly and then a smile slowly emerged on his face.

"Wow, I wasn't expecting something so nice and romantic in the woods."

"Romance in the woods is my specialty," Cooper joked.

Oliver turned and grinned at him.

"I'd say so," he says, pulling Cooper in for a kiss.

"I love it. I've never had a picnic like this before."

‘Oliver was a dream come true with the way he appreciated everything I did. My ex-boyfriends had rarely been impressed with me or with my efforts to do anything special for them.’

As they ate their dinner under the night sky, Cooper wished Oliver didn't have to go back home to California.

He wanted more time with him, even though he knew it was futile.

Rather than think about the few days they had left, Cooper tried to stay in the moment.

Cooper smiled across the table at Oliver who responded by reaching over and taking his hand, stroking his large knuckles with his tiny thumb.

"You're really great, Cooper. I'm having the best time out here and I'm happy I met you."

"I'm happy you're here, too," Cooper replied.

"And I’m happy you gave me a chance. I didn't think a pretty boy like you would go for me."

"Why not? You're funny, handsome, strong, kind and great in bed. What's not to love?"

Cooper knew he was blushing.

It was flattering to hear but more than that, Oliver really seemed to see him.

Oliver saw exactly who Cooper was and the life that he lived and against all the odds, he liked it.

‘It was only going to make it that much harder when he left.’

[blushedarmybunny]

4:00 A.M, 1:00 P.M | Jung Hoseok One Shot

❁ Pairing: Jung Hoseok x fem reader

❁ Summary: Hoseok is drunk or more like drunk in love.

❁  Word count:  1,7k

❁  Genre: smut, angst, fluff.

❁  Warnings: penetration, oral sex, intoxication, dirty talk.

The last thing you remember was how the hot guy in the movie for the million time had let down the protagonist of the series, soon you encounter yourself fast asleep on your very comfy couch in your cozy apartment, on friday night.

You were commonly considered as home buddy, so you love to stay at home on fridays and spend time with yourself, you went out from time to time but you were tired today, so you drank whole bottle of wine and started to watch a show on your waiting list.  

And you were dreaming about a good deserved vacation until the annoying ringing of your phone woke you up.

A name you recognized appeared on the screen.

The clock indicated it was 4 am, you declined the call, as if the person calling you had any valid reason to call you at this fucking hour, but it didn’t last long, the phone started ringing again making you angrier.

Hoseok, of all people had the nerve to call you this early.

You see, he was the guy you called when you needed a good fuck, to put it simply, he didn’t ask much questions and kept things simple, yes sometimes, just sometimes he stayed a little longer and you two would talk for hours, but it’s not like you went on dates or something.

So why on earth did he dare to woke you up like this?

“What is this?” you sounded more harsh than you intended, but you just couldn’t help it.

A loud noise in the background made you apart your phone from your face, the distorted techno music indicated that he was in a nightclub.

“Are you, yn?” an unfamiliar voice asked, that made you raise an eyebrow.

“Yes”

“Hey, I’m Taehyung, I’m a friend of Hobi and he is kinda…”he paused and sighted “He is very wasted and doesn’t want to come home, he keeps asking me to call his girlfriend so that’s what I’m doing” Taehyung said faster than your brain could process, so fast that almost made you past the fact that he referred to you as Hoseok’s girlfriend, almost.

“First off, I’m not his girlfriend and second of all I was peacefully sleeping before my own hangover kicks off and you are not helping my dude” more noise in the background and loud music, it seems they were discussing something.

“But he told me that you were, he got you on his phone as Baby, he keeps nagging me, please take him I…”

 then suddenly you heard Hoseok voice.

“Yn-ssi, Yn-ie, hello darling” his voice obviously intoxicated but still kinda cute made you not to hang up immediately.

“What is all this Hoseok? It’s 4 A.M”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah I know I know” he said fast “wanna see you, where you at?” he asked in the most casual way possible.

“And why should I tell you?”

“cuz I wanna see that pretty face of yours, your goddess presence that I need to experience in this very moment, your tight little p”

“Wow ok calm down homie, not happening” you chuckle at his words, but he changed his tune.

“Why not? I wanna see you so bad, please, pleaseee”he whined like a child “We don’t have to fuck, I want cuddles!” he demanded this time.

Your half drunk ass decided to accept his childish demands and 30 minutes later his friend Taehyung was leaving you with Hoseok at the front of your apartment’s door, he jumped in your arms giving you a bear hug, you thought you would scare him away with your comfy t-shirt as pjs and messy ponytail look, but he had quite the opposite reaction.

“You are so pretty and beautiful and also cute” his drunk speech only made him sound cute which help you not to feel annoyed.

“Don´t you are sleepy?” you asked him.

“Why sleep when we can do something better?” he asked smiling, a wide smile.

“don’t think so” you said taking his hand to guide him to the couch, but his sweater felt wet.

“Taehyung spilled his drink on me” he confessed, and it made you roll your eyes.

“You need to wash up” you said taking him to the bathroom, so you respectfully did all in your hands to not predatory help him when he took his shower, only leaving him in his underwear and instructed him to take a quick shower.

You had seen him naked a thousand times, and his semi naked body still send chills down your spine, but he was very drunk so it wasn’t the time.

You put his clothes on the washing machine and went to your bed, you were finally falling asleep but then two arms found its way to embrace you from behind.

Hoseok only had his underwear on so it felt very intimate when you both cuddle, too tired to protest you ley him hug you for the rest of the night.

…………………………………………………………..........................................

When the morning came you two were still embracing each other, Hoseok did not let you go for a second, so when you tried to seat on t he pulled you to his arms tighter.  

“Let’s stay like this a little longer”

Gosh his morning voice was totally sexy, that did catch you off guard, so you returned to your original position, as the minutes passed you notice a familiar pressure on your backside.

You could not help getting hot as he strategically grip your hip with his long hand applying some pressure, his breath on your neck, his naked legs intertwined with yours.

“Gosh you’re so pretty” he said to you in a low tone making your nipples get erected “Are your pretty nips hard too?” his hand now was confidently sliding inside your shirt until they found one breast and started to play with your sensitive nipple making you moan.

“I bet your pussy it’s wet for me” Hoseok knew you so well “lets take this out of the way” he took away your panties, throwing them in the corner of the room.

His hard member up in all his glory was shamelessly grinding against your core, his underwear no near to be seen.

He flipped you to the bed, clearly aroused, on top of you, you were expecting the usual, but he actually came closer to you, took your face in his hand and…kissed you.

The kiss was hungry and passionate, he was taking his time.

Meanwhile you could feel his very hard erection on you lower belly, he wasn’t on any rush to fuck you.

Hoseok was looking at you in a way so lovingly, if you had to say, though he was sweet and gentle before, this felt deferent.

You felt his kisses on your neck, getting lower to your nipple, inside his mouth his tongue was making motions that felt amazing.

Soon enough his mouth was pleasuring your pussy sucking your clit and inserting his fingers to stretch you out, almost making you scream, he was enthusiastically taking your juices that would leak through his neck, his efforts resulted in a orgasm that left you trembling and gripping the bed sheets.

Then he looked at you, eyes dark with lust…and something else.

He ripped your shirt off and kissed you once again.

“so pretty” he mumbled in your lips, and again on top of you he put himself on your entrance but before he could penetrate you, he grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers together, and looked at you and slowly penetrate you with a delicious pace swinging his hips in a wave like motion hitting just right in the spot.

This was some intimate shit.

This wasn’t a dirty rough sex, or a quickie or you trying out that new toy that he bought.

He was making love to you; the difference was abysmal.

You both were panting and moaning, his thrust more desperate.

“I like you so so much” he said with red cheeks for the physical effort, sweat dripping on his forehead “you got not idea”

You were both close.

“I like you, yn, I like you” he manages to say while he came inside of you, his warm cum filling you up so good, the orgasm was so intense that your legs were shaking, he hugged you tight.

“Hoseok, you are so good” you caress the back his neck while hugging him “you make feel so good always”

He turned to see you, his cheeks still red.

“I mean what I said, I like you, yn” he confessed” a little too much”

“Hoseok, in the biggening you said that…”you started you say.

“I know what I said, and I said it because I thought you wouldn’t want me for anything else, me the choreographer that takes antidepressants and pretends that everything is ok, that can not be loved and is too coward to properly date the only girl that made me feel completely alive, but I now I have so many negative attributes that I didn’t thought that you would ever give me chance, but I’m tired to pretend that I don’t have feelings for you because I do.”

You looked at him shocked at his words, it was only right you respond honestly.

“Well it does happen that I’m starting to like this guy” you said to him serious.

“Who?” he asked immediately.

“Let me finish, he thinks he has these things that made him unattractive but actually only made him a more complex and interesting person, he knows some moves! Well better said he does dancing for a living, he funny and can make me smile in seconds but when we talk we can do it for hours because he has always something interesting to share, he said he takes antidepressants but he is more like sunshine to me…”

“Wait, are you talking about me?” he asked surprised and excited.

“You are a little slow, aren't you?” you said, smiling to him.

He jumped to kiss you, sweet but hungry like he can’t get enough of you.

“You are my girlfriend, for real, I’m dreaming right now” he said almost talking to himself.

You turned his face with your hand, and gave him a quick peck.

“And you are my boyfriend now, and as my boyfriend you have to cook the breakfast” you demanded jokingly.

“Since is almost 1pm let’s better call for delivery, my treat” and he kissed you “but first let's take a shower” and he lifted you up bridal style while you both laughed.

Life was better than the day before, way better.

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tommy and jack

requested: yes/no

pairing: platonic jack/tommy/reader

summary: jack and tommy convince y/n to leave the house

content warning: cursing

an: wrote way more than i intended to

from the moment you woke up your day was already chaotic, you checked your phone to see several missed calls and texts from tommy. still half asleep you decided to finally answer the call

“the fuck did you wake me up for?”

“I'm outside your house please let me in. Some old man keeps telling me to get into his car, gotta go be quick!”

“TOMMY DON'T YOU DARE GET INTO HIS CAR!”

as soon as you opened to door you were met by your two friends wheezing

“you should have seen your face y/n you looked so worried!”

“you little shits don’t do that again,” you said, scolding the two boys who were now crying with laughter.

the car ride was just as chaotic.

you were screaming at all the cars that were ‘going too slow’ and yelling at jack how to drive, despite the fact you don’t know how to drive.

tommy kept putting his hand close to the steering wheel in an attempt to honk the horn.

“CARPOOL KARAOKE- AAAAAA..OH THE FEDS!”

“FUCK THE POLICE!”

“tommy, y/n, we are going to get arrested.”

the journey was then silent for a few minutes until your new boyfriend could be heard from your phone.

“here we go lads!”

it was a miracle you all survived the car journey, especially since tommy found it hilarious to put his phone in front of jacks face as he was driving.

“oh shit..were at tesco’s?”

you must have zoned out during the car ride because the sound of tommy, finally being allowed to honk the horn, pulled you back to reality.

the three of you debated filming your day together, but ended up deciding against it, wanting to spend time together, especially since you had been busy going to college 5 days a week.

everything was going well until an announcement from customer service echoed,

“good evening ladies and gentlemen, we have a teenager here named y/n l/n looking for their father and older brother, if you are them please come and collect them from the customer service desk.”

you couldn’t help but laugh at how embarrassed tommy and jack were as they came to customer service.

“you must be their...parent??”

“no no no no they’re our friend. they must have wandered off and then got lost it’s their first time visiting this tesco.” it was around 1pm when you finally left tesco, but the adventure wasn’t over yet.

the car ride back was another adventure, tommy spent most of the ride talking about how he found donuts for £3, and how jack squashed them by throwing biscuits at them. it was only when you realised you were going in the wrong direction to go home you spoke up.

“you’re going the wrong fucking way, home is in the other direction.”

“i’m not taking you home, we’re going to a lake!”

“YOU’RE KIDNAPPING ME?!”

“no we’re going fishing.”

“oh-”

“this isn’t a lake?”

“it’s a fishing shop!”

as the three of you walked in, tommy instinctively put an arm around you, keeping you close as the shop was rather busy, and you were already questioning exploring the shop on your own.

“there is no customer service here and i'm not running around here trying to find you. if you run off- OH LOOK SUNGLASSES LETS GET MATCHING ONES!”

you raced tommy back to the car, “HA DIBS ON FRONT SEAT!”

“BUT Y/N I WAS THERE FIRST!”

“sucks to be tommyinnit i guess!”

time went by quickly, you were almost there. you spent the entire time bickering with jack about how you could drive better than him and how the road was too bumpy.

the sound of tommy yelling the word pheasant caught you off guard, causing you to flinch.

“could have had it...”

“WHY WOULD YOU KILL IT MANIFOLD?!”

“he’s nicked the spot.”

“rival fisher?”

you suggested screaming till he left, tommy loved that idea however jack wasn’t too sure it was a good idea.

“let’s run him into the lake with your car!“

“let’s do it!”

you covered your face with your hands hiding the fact you were crying with laughter, they would never tell you this but they loved and missed seeing you this happy. they hadn’t seen you in a while due to the fact you were busy with college, and the times they did see you it was clear you hadn’t been sleeping much and that you were incredibly stressed.

you and tommy went around hunting for sticks to throw into the lake. after a while you chose to sit on the grass watching the pair fish. you were just happy to be out spending time with your best friends, then you heard a train pass and were determined to find it. as you walked away, you heard tommy laugh at jack who was complaining about how he stole his wrap, and was trying to feed ducks sweet corn.

“where did y/n go?”

“i’ll go find them.”

tommy ended up asking strangers if they had noticed you pass by, luckily someone pointed out that you went straight on and was mumbling something about a train.

“can i get a ticket to go on the train please?”

tommy couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“make it two tickets. I also want to go on the train.”

as soon as you both paid and were handed the tickets you grabbed tommys hand, draging him away before he could ask questions about you wandering off.

jack sat fishing on his own, arguing with ducks till his phone rang.

“IM ON A TRAIN WITH TOMMY BE BACK SOON- I THINK I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT GOES, MISSING YOU ALREADY!”

before he even got the chance to speak you hung up laughing.

“what the hell where are we?”

“it’s train time tommy!”

after a few minutes you realised this was going to be a long journey.

“this fucking train is going 1 mille an hour bloody hell.”

you placed you head on your friends shoulder, it had been a long day and you were exhausted.

“oh fuckkkk i have work to do when i get home.”

tommy felt awful for you, noticing you were stressed and starting to get upset, he pulled you in for a hug. the pair of you stayed in the position talking about anything and everything until the train came to a stop.

“let’s go brag about our journey to jack!”

“he’s going to kill us.”

“worth it.”

It was a long day but you were thankful your two closest friends decided to make you leave the house and spend time with them. a few days later you had your exams, then a few weeks later you got your results and couldn’t wait to message the gc.

yn : I PASSED BOYS!!!

tommy: I knew it!!

jack: nice one!

tubbo: does this mean we can go on an adventure?? I couldn't go last time.

yn: yes.

[americxn]

heeeyyy ive been thinking abt colin a lot and wondered like how it would be to have make up sex with him? After they had a huge fight then they have angry sex and then (still rough and hot) make up sex in the morning?

Im not sure if theres a difference between angry or make up sex but yeah

Hot Tempered (Colin Zabel x fem!Reader)

wordcount: 5.1k warnings: NSFW, penetration, giving and receiving oral, swearing, verbal arguing and a little bit of physical conflict

Yours nails scraped harshly on the surface of your kitchen table as you snatched up your phone, Colin’s face frozen in an irritated frown as you glanced back at him. His chair scuffed against the hard wood of the floor as you spun on your heel, heading for the door and the stairs beyond. “Y/n.” Colin’s voice was rough as he called after you, his long strides closing the distance between you as he reached out for your arm. “No, Colin.” You spat, whirling on him and wrenching your arm from his grasp. “I’m done talking about it, just fuck off.” His face fell, all of his agitation dropping from his features at the ferocity with which you cursed at him.  Your anger doused any guilt that should have swarmed you as the creases of annoyance on his face instantly smoothed over, his arm falling limp at his side. “Sleep down here.” You ordered firmly, turning once more and making your way to the stairs; your footfalls were heavier than intended. Shoving the door to your shared bedroom open with a shoulder, you flopped face first on the bed, gripping your pillow and smothering your face into it. Tears of hot frustration leaked from your eyes, dampening the fabric beneath your face as you clutched onto it, replaying the screaming match that had just occurred between you and your fiancé. It was undoubtedly the worst argument that the two of you had ever had.

From below, you heard the front door opening, closing harshly a second later.  You lay on the bed for several long minutes, the pillow clutched to your face staunching the flow of your tears. Only when your phone buzzed beside your head did you lift your face out of the confines of the pillow, the sudden light burning your teary eyes as you glanced at the screen as it lit up with Colin’s name. 

I won’t come to you until you’re ready to talk. Message me whenever that is.

You chucked the phone to the bottom of the bed with a soft sign, rolling onto your back and rubbing your hands over your face. Why did he insist on always being so patient? For whatever reason, his generous offering of space refuelled your anger, anger that was perhaps directed at yourself this time. Another hot tear squeezed its way out of your eye, rolling down the side of your face and disappearing into the hair at your ear. Swiping the wet trail away, you pushed yourself off the bed, storming for the bathroom and wrenching the faucet of the shower, causing scolding water to pour. You didn’t allow the water to cool, shucking off your clothes and stepping under the steaming torrents; it hit your skin in fiery relief, leeching some of the anger from your body and carrying it up into the space of the bathroom as steam, condensing and dripping in cool droplets off the mirrors and windows. You emerged from the shower half an hour later, the adrenaline of your argument having worn off entirely, a heaviness settling over your body in its place.  Your clothes remained in a heap in the centre of the bathroom floor, the fabric dampened slightly by the clouds of heat from the shower.  Sleep tugged at your eyes and you glanced at the alarm clock on your bedside table: 23:17. You obeyed the heaviness of your eyelids, allowing it to steer you towards the bed, flopping down onto its softness once more, the sheets cool against your warm skin, a comforting embrace in the place of Colins.

When Colin returned home, creeping warily up the stairs and softly pushing open the door to your shared room, it was almost two in the morning. He had gone to the office, taken his spare keys and lounged at his desk for hours that seemed to stretch away into eternity. His anger at you and your unforgivingness had long since softened, dripping away into pools of regret and willingness to compromise; he couldn’t even recall who had started the argument and what is was about.  But looking at you now, your naked body stretched out atop the covers, your torso expanding with each laboured breath you took, any thought of the argument slipped from his mind’s grasp.  Tugging off his coat, he hung it on the back of the door, reluctant to take his eyes off your sleeping frame for too long, your arms grappled around your pillow, your body softly curving across the bed. On tiptoe, he approached you, sitting gently on the bed beside your waist. Your eyes were closed lightly, your lashes fluttering slightly in sleep and your mouth cracked open in a soft part. He exhaled through his nose, rubbing his hand on the thigh of his jeans to ensure that his palm was somewhat warm before placing it tentatively on your waist. When you didn’t stir, your laboured breaths unfaltering, he began to move his hand down to your hip and up to your rib, trailing his fingertips along your sleep warmed skin tenderly. When you finally stirred, a small noise cracking out from the back of your nose and your legs shifting, you forced open one eye to see Colin surveying you carefully. You pulled open your other eye, blinking at him in an attempt to clear your sleep fogged vision; his lips tugged upwards in a small, surrendering smile. You let your eyes fall shut once more, sighing through your nose before shifting onto your back. Colin’s eyes dipped once, taking a thirsty scan of your exposed body before going back to your sleepy face, his smile widening when you held out your arms to him. He accepted, shuffling forwards before folding over you in an embrace, smiling into your bare chest as you folded your arms around his shoulders. You savoured the feeling of his hair brushing softly against your collarbone, sighing into his weight and allowing your eyes to drift shut once more. Colin’s head shifted, his cheek coming to rest on your chest; your skin was warm and soft beneath him. He allowed more of his weight to spread over you, your hips pressing into his as he flattened himself fully onto you. You cracked open one eye as he fell still once more, his breath coming out hot on your skin. You were glad he didn’t say anything, content to bask in his presence and indulge in his warm weight on top of you. The room fell into silence once more, sleep crawling back into your reach. You grasped for it, your arms slackening in their hold around Colin’s shoulders. The shift of his head against your skin pulled you away from the desired slumber once more, Colin turning to press a kiss to the space just above the valley of your breasts, his lips warm as they brushed against your skin. You stayed motionless, hoping that he would think you were asleep and let you be. But of course, he wouldn’t let that happen. He repeated the simple action of pressing a kiss to your skin, this time with more persistence. He lifted his head to regard you when you remained immobile, a small frown painting his forehead with creases. “Y/n?” You opened your eyes as he addressed you directly, glancing down at him. “Yes?” You muttered, your bad mood threatening to take over once more with his persistence. You just wanted to sleep. “Are we going to talk about it or...?” “Honestly, Colin. I would rather not.” You responded flatly, shutting him down. He pushed himself off you at you short reply, sitting back and running his fingers through his hair. “Well I want to talk about.” He pushed, his voice gaining a shade more strength. You surveyed him blankly before rolling onto your side, turning away from him and bringing your legs up to your chest, allowing your eyes to shut once more. “Y/n. Are you serious? I left the house for god knows how long; I’ve given you space. Talk to me.” “I don’t want to talk about it.” You uttered, voice muffled by the pillow you had buried your face in. “Well I do, goddamnit.” He spat, his prior agitation returning in hot waves as you continued to dismiss him. Led by his fresh anger, he reached out, taking ahold of your forearm and pulling harshly, forcing your body to twist in his direction.  Your eyes filled with furious surprise as he made you turn to him, recovering a second later and ripping your arm from his grasp. “Fuck this, Colin.” You spat, sitting up and scooting to the edge of the bed. Your feet brushed the floor as you made to push yourself to standing but Colin was too quick, a potent wave of utterly irritated disbelief filling him; wrapping his arms around your torso, Colin threw you back onto the bed, the sheets soft against your skin as you landed, Colin moving to kneel by your chest. Your glowered at him, pushing yourself onto your elbows. Colin’s face intercepted your path, appearing before you, an angry hue staining his cheeks. “Why are you being like this?” He demanded gruffly, your noses close to touch him. “I’ve told you that I don’t want to talk about it.” You ground back, standing your ground, refusing to balk from his mounting fury. “So what? We’re just going to pretend that it didn’t happen?” He challenged, his dark eyes boring into yours intensely. It wasn’t often that Colin presented this side of him to you, the side that had drawn so many confessions from suspects in his line of work. “Yes. Yes we are -” “No, we’re not.” He cut you off, his nose brushing yours slightly as he leaned in even closer, his upper lip curling into an enraged snarl. “You don’t get to just tell me to fuck off and then refuse to speak to me about it.”  You fell silent at his words, realisation of how unreasonable you were being washing over you. But you could’t back down now, your pride wouldn’t allow it. “I can do what I -” Colin’s lips crashed onto yours, your noses fully pressing against each other as he closed the small distance between your faces, stealing your next words as he cut you off once more. A small squeak of surprise emanated from the back of your throat as Colin, instead of pulling away to continue round two of the argument, titled his head to deepen the kiss, running his tongue along your lower lip once in warning before flooding eagerly into your mouth. The kiss was demanding and punishing, roving thoroughly around your mouth, your tongue struggling to keep up with his as he ran is across your own, making strokes across the roof of your mouth with the tip, drawing shudders from your naked body. He leaned in more, his hands finding your shoulders and running down your spine, meeting at the small of your back and lowering you fully to the bed. His hands trailed to your hips as he lifted a leg, shifting to straddle you. You were torn between shoving him off and gripping onto the front of his shirt to pull him closer. Settling on the latter, you reached for the soft fabric, your fingers grappling into the material and tugging, forcing his lips to form a tighter seal around your own. He groaned at your roughness, one of his hands moving slowly up from your hip, across the plane of your ribs and around the curve of your breast to your throat. He pressed his thumb into the hollow of your neck, sighing at the pulse he found fluttering there as you lifted up your hips slightly beneath him, silently screaming your mounting need at him. His thumb remained at the base of your throat as his tongue made another thorough sweep of your mouth, your hands releasing the front of his shirt, only to attach to the buttons holding it closed, fumbling with them in your feverish need to have his bare skin against yours.  Colin’s annoyance was only mounting with your drawn out kissing, your fingers stumbling in their hurry to free him of his shirt. He pulled away suddenly, your head lifting off the pillow of its accord, trying to follow his lips. Sitting back on your hips, Colin’s face was flushed with a rosy hue as he ripped apart the last of the buttons that you hadn’t been able to undo, both of your uneven breathing filling the room as you lay beneath him, reigning in your impatience and watching as he started on his pants. The clacking of his belt as it was pulled it undone drew a quiet groan of anticipation from the back of your throat, the subsequent sound of Colin’s zipper drowning out the weak noise. He fell back down onto you, one of his hands spearing into the pillow next to your head, the other reaching down to wrench his pants down his legs, taking his underwear with them. His hand fell onto your upper thigh, his eyes flicking to bore into yours as his made a tantalizing trail with his fingertips up the inside of your thigh to your aching core, allowing his nails to dig into your soft skin ever so slightly.  You let out an unsteady exhale as he drew a line straight through your awaiting cunt with a single finger, letting out a stunted groan of approval at the wetness he found there. You braced yourself for his engorged cock as you lay still beneath him, staring up at him as he made another exploratory sweep of his finger through your folds, your juices gleaming on his fingertip when he pulled his hand away. You opened your mouth, readying to scold him for suddenly taking so long when he sat back, providing you with the view of his swollen cock curving towards his stomach, its head purple and weeping creamy precum.  You arched your back slightly in a gesture of indignation, pushing your tits up in the hopes of luring him back down on top of him. Instead, much to your annoyance, he pushed himself to his knees. You could’ve drooled at the sight of his cock bouncing slightly with the movement, your hands coming to cup your own tits as your tongue made a sweep along your lower lip. Colin, who had taken a second to admire your body below his, the goosebumps smattered across your skin, your hair fanned out across the pillow beneath your head and your eyes, lustfully dark and still half-lidded with sleep, reached down, taking your waist in his hands and pulling you up, twisting your torso. He manipulated your body, forcing you face down on the bed. You immediately lifted your hips up, waving you ass in a beckoning gesture as Colin settled back over you, aligning himself with your entrance, his tip pushing in ever so slightly.  He paused here, causing you to hiss in impatient agitation, your arms lifting to gather the pillow beneath your head under your chin, arching your back in order to give him better access. Your face buried into the pillow with a deep, placated groan as he finally pushed himself all the way into you. Pulling out immediately, Colin sunk himself back into your cunt, taking his time to fill you thoroughly before setting about fucking you at a steady pace.   “Oh god.” You gasped when Colin began to thrust at an established pace, hard and deep, drawing out of you slowly, only to slam his fullness back into you. “Oh fuck.” The intensity with which he immediately started to fuck you made your fingers and toes tingle, your pussy being gloriously stretched open. Your moans were broken and breathless as Colin pounded furiously into you from behind, small sounds of pleasure squeezing their way through his tightly gritted teeth as he took you thoroughly. You groaned, your fingers gripping onto the pillow beneath you as he repeatedly slammed into you with such force that your body moved up the bed, the covers creasing around your body. His hands quickly looped under your thighs to pull them up, positioning you so that your ass was in the air but your chest and face remained pressed into the bed. Your the muscles in your back strained, aching slightly at the harsh angle that Colin positioned you into but the dim pain barely registered as he continued to pound into you from behind, pushing your body further and further into the mattress with each stroke. “Oh. Oh, Colin.” You groaned luxuriously, your name on his lips only fuelling him to go harder, faster, deeper. Just when you began to gasp, slightly overwhelmed by the pleasure that he was abundantly giving you, tears pricking at your eyes, Colin, with a shuddering breath, released your upper thighs and planted his hands onto the hot skin of your back, his fingertips digging into the planes of your back, his nails clawing into your skin. You squeaked his name as your pleasure began to mount, each one of his frenzied thrusts ripping a layer from the ball of ecstasy glowing in your stomach, the release hidden at the centre Colin’s goal as he pushed you further and further to climax. Your eyes rolled shut, tears of utter pleasure burning them as you bit down on the pillow, your pleasure building, building, building, Colin’s thrusts punctuated by his own rough groans of gratification as he, too, neared climax. Your body went rigid beneath Colin as your orgasm slammed into your body, sending waves of unforgiving pleasure rippling through your entire being. You almost screamed at the force of your climax, Colin muttering encouragements through gritted teeth with each forceful slam of his cock into your pussy. Your fingers fell away from the pillow you had been grasping, grappling with the sheets pooled around your writhing body instead as you gasped for air, Colin’s hand coming around to grab your chin, forcing your teeth to release their tight hold on the pillow and holding your face so that your neck was craned upwards towards the ceiling. You couldn’t seem to gain control of your eyes as they rolled back again and again, each of Colin’s thrust punctuating the aftershocks of your orgasm as you struggled to come down from your high. But he didn’t stop. And it was all you could do but keep gulping down breaths of air in time to his wild thrusting, his hands settling on your hips to pull you further onto his cock. Your fingers shook from where they clenched the bed sheets pooled around you, your legs trembling so violently that it was a miracle you didn’t collapse fully onto the bed. Your gasped moans turned into high-pitched whines, the sudden sloppiness of Colin’s thrusts as his hips snapped relentlessly into you signalling that he, too, was dangerously close to coming undone. He grunted your name and with one last punishing drive of his cock into you, he fell forwards onto your body, his teeth finding the side of your neck and clamping down as he spilled into you, rocking his hips in order to draw out his pleasure.  You were whimpering, his moans loud at your ear, muffled by the tender skin he held in his bite. He released his hold on your hot skin as the last of his seed shot into you, taking a shuddering inhale and moving his lips to press a kiss to your shoulder. You were still heaving down gasps of air when he pulled out, your head falling back onto the pillow beneath you as he released his hold on your chin, collapsing away from you and onto his side of the bed. Your back gave out, your ass bouncing slightly as it, too, fell onto the mattress. You turned onto your side, your mingled wetness coating your thighs as you moved, staring at Colin with hooded eyes. He offered you a tentative smile. You returned it, reaching out a hand and taking his, squeezing his fingers affectionately. “Fuck you.” You breathed at him, playful intent sparkling in your exhaust clouded eyes. “Yeah, fuck you too.” Colin offered in response, bringing your joined hands up to his mouth and brushing his lips across the back of your fist. “Sorry.” You added quietly, your blinks slow and heavy as you struggled to keep your eyes open, sleep beckoning you to fall into its embrace. “I’m sorry, too.” Colin agreed, reaching over to pull your body to his, peppering your face with kisses before untangling himself from your hold and standing, retrieving his shirt from the floor before pacing for the bathroom.

You were awoken the several hours later by the watery light of the morning filtering through the blinds of your bedroom, Colin’s body a warm presence behind you. His arms were twined around your abdomen with his face buried in the crook of your neck, his puffs of sleep infused breath settling onto your skin. You shifted slightly, bunching the covers up beneath your chin with a sigh of contentment and pushing your body further into Colin’s. He stirred at this, the steady rhythm of his breathing interrupted as your movement dragged him from his deep sleep. His arms tightened their looping hold around your abdomen and you turned, craning your neck to plant a kiss on the top of his head. Pulling his face from your neck, he offered you a sleepy smile, his eyes barely cracked open against the natural light infiltrating into the room. “Good morning.” You mumbled, your breath stale and voice weak from lack of use. “Morning.” He murmured back, his chin settling onto your shoulder as he gazed at you. You smiled sweetly at him, disrupting his hold on your waist to move onto your back, Colin drinking in the view of your side profile that you offered him. A dim ache glowed from between your thighs, an ache that you savoured, your eyes fluttering closed with a soft sigh as you recalled the ferocity with which he had fucked you. Your lower lip caught between your teeth at the memory, Colin’s curiosity peaked as he tracked the movement. “What are you thinking about?” He mused quietly. You turned your head to look at him, debating whether to lie or expose to him how much you enjoyed the rare appearance of his rough side the night before. “I’m thinking of you fucking me.” You shrugged, forcing a shade of feigned innocence into your tone. Colin drew in a breath, his eyes opening fully at your words. “I’ve been thinking about that too.” He admitted in agreement. You snapped your head to his, your neck stiff. “Really?” You asked. Colin nodded, the full weight of his chin settling into your shoulder as he relaxed fully into you. “Did I look pretty from behind?” You pressed quietly. Colin lifted his head to survey your full face. You settled your head further into the pillow, blinking easily up at him. “You looked very pretty from behind.” He confirmed, his morning voice rough and low, coming out almost like a purr. You reached up, running your fingertips softly down the side of his face. “I want to do it again.” You admitted, your eyes flicking from his eyes to his lips. His low chuckle of response sent sparks of arousal skittering through you, drawing some wetness to gather between your thighs. “Where are your manners?” He tutted playfully, moving swiftly to straddle you once more, the covers lifting around his shoulders as his hands found your face, cupping your cheeks in his sleep-warmed palms. “Please.” You added, allowing your gaze to become doe-eyed as you stared up at him. His lips curved into a small smile, his head cocking slightly to the side as he lowered his face to yours, catching your lips in a fleeting kiss. You melted into the kiss as his hands moved from your face, trailing lightly down your sides before settling on your hips. Disconnecting his mouth from yours, his moved his lips down to your chin, pressing several kisses from there to the hollow of your throat. You tipped your head back, exposing the column of your throat to him, gyrating your hips slightly under his weight as his allowed his lips to venture further, his kisses becoming hot and open-mouthed as his cut through the space between your breasts and to your bellybutton.  You shuddered beneath the soft brush of his warm lips, his tongue making occasional contact with your hot skin as he made a meandering track downwards, pausing every now and then to latch his teeth onto you, sucking your skin into his mouth. Your breathing became ragged as he reached your mons, kissing and nipping at the space just above your ever wetting cunt with maddening leisure. You reached down, allowing your fingers to tangle in his short hair and tugged persistently at the roots; the desired effect was achieved: Colin groaned, his breath hot on your skin, and detached his mouth from your mons, glancing up at you before repositioning his head and licking a long stripe up your aching centre. “Yes.” You groaned in blissful encouragement, the second stroke of Colin’s tongue causing wetness to pool, coaxing an aching sort of pleasure to spread across your cunt, your folds swelling in response to his ministrations. His hand settled onto your lower abdomen, holding your hips still as he buried his face into you, unleashing himself with ravenous intent on your clit. You mewled with pleasure, the sudden barrage of his tongue on your clit sending strong jolts of satisfaction through the entirety of your body. “Oh god.” You moaned, breathless as Colin continued to lap at your cunt, sucking and nipping at your clit. His fingertips nudged at your entrance and you attempted to push your hips up into them in encouragement, Colin’s low groan at your desperate efforts causing you to gasp and fall limp under him as the sound rumbled through your pussy. He pushed two fingers in, curling them instantly and expertly brushing the rough pads of his fingertips against the spot hidden within you that had your toes curling. You moaned his name, your pent up sexual need following last nights rough fucking of reluctantly proposed apology growing with each flick of his tongue and curl of his fingers. Colin’s cock twitched in response, his name falling from your lips fuelling him to push another finger inside of you, thrusting them in and out of you at a steady pace whilst his tongue worked tirelessly on your clit, each stroke, circle and carefully calculated nudge of his tongue adding fuel to the glowing bundle of pleasure forming in your lower abdomen. You tugged on his roots in needy encouragement, his generous attentiveness of your pussy both not enough and too much.  “Yes, yes, yes. Colin.” A wave of heat rolled through you as your release neared, Colins fingers quickening their pace in your pussy as his tongue maintained its steady lapping at your wetness. “Colin,” his name was a drawn out moan falling from your lips, your head turning to the side, pressing your nose into the pillow beneath you. He hummed onto you, the pace of his fingers slowing as he held them deep inside of you, twitching and curling his fingertips. Your eyes rolled at the intense sensations that his change in technique sent sparking through you; the sudden tension that settled over your body only spurred Colin on, his fingers remaining buried deep within you as his tongue worked fervently, licking you closer and closer to your release.  Your head tipped back, pleasure pooling in your loins. “I’m gonna cum.” You announced on a breathless groan. At your words, Colin groaned his approval, his fingers once again quickening their pace, curling and twisting within you. He indulged in the string of continuous moans that fell from your lips, savouring the feeling of his tongue running across your clit as he finished you off, your body bowing entirely off the bed as your grip in his hair tightened, a wave of considerable pleasure slamming into you. His name was a drawn out moan on your lips as he licked you several more times, helping you through the orgasm that had your eyes rolling and your toes curling. Your thighs clenched deliciously around his head, Colin’s own moan of satisfaction vibrating through the electrified surface of your pussy. When your body collapsed back onto the mattress, the pupils of your eyes re-emerging with a gasp, Colin gripped onto your thighs, pulling his head from your heat and gazing upon your sated body, the scent of your arousal drifting up to meet him from between your thighs. You glanced down, the sight of his swollen lips coated with your cum causing a ball of fresh need to form in your lower abdomen. You blinked slowly down at him, a satiated smile spreading across your face. He grinned up at you, moving to cover your body with his once more, your hands falling onto the pillow at either side of your head as his lips met yours, the taste of your own musk coating his lips and tongue being passed onto your own. Pulling away, he placed a loving kiss on your nose, grinning down at you. “Do you forgive me now?”  Reaching up, your brushed the short strands of dark hair away from his forehead before answering. “I forgave you as soon as your cock entered me last night.” You mused softly, his eyes gleaming with arousal as they bore into your own. “Likewise.” He agreed, lowering his face to yours once more to lay a tentative kiss to your lips. Your hands found his shoulders, your lips curling up against once another as you pushed, Colin aiding you in flipping him onto his back and allowing you to straddle his torso. Permitting your fingertips to trail down the strong planes of his stomach, you leaned in, nipping at his earlobe before whispering, “I need to make sure that you fully forgive me.” Drawing away, Colin’s eyes were alight with aroused curiosity, pulling in a sharp breath when you moved further down his body, ensuring that his clothed erection scraped against your still throbbing heat as you positioned yourself on his thighs, pulling his cock free.  Colin gazed down at you, raising his arms to tuck them under his head, your hand closing around his shaft. You ran your thumb along his slit, gathering the bead of precum that had formed there before lowering your mouth to him.

taglist: @kitwalker02 @three-eyed-snail @forevercountess @kitwalkerangel @milly-louise @thecountessesglove @undeadcortez @kitwalker64 @samsassinparvismagna @xmaximoffic @divineruler @liandav @tatesweaterweather @evanmybeloved @tatelangdonsupremacist @ikkleroniekins (let me know if you want to be added or removed <3)

[johnkrrasinski]

started from a call

full masterlist

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x female!reader

Word count: 3,610

Warning: angst with a happy ending! that's all.

Summary: written for @wkemeup's 9k writing challenge with the prompt "character a leaves an embarrassing, drunk message on character b’s voicemail and spends the rest of the night trying to discreetly delete it from [b]’s phone." inspired by a bit of ross and rachel from friends too. you found out from steve that bucky was in love with you in high school but after he returns home with a girl in his arm, you cancelled your plans to tell him how you feel. will you and bucky have your happy ending?

a/n: please like, reblog and leave a feedback. :) enjoy!

"Alright, I'll see you tonight. Bye." He leaned against the kitchen counter and hung up the phone with a grin on his face. "You hear that, Sam? We're going on our third date tonight." He threw his phone up into the air and caught it so casually without spilling a drop of his coffee sitting on his right hand. "Looks like I'm getting that 300 bucks soon."

"Hey, easy. You ain't going to that date yet, who knows? She could bail on you. It doesn't count if the date doesn't end well."

"Oh, but it will. I just gotta turn on my charm and next thing you know, we're already meeting the parents stage."

"Meeting the parents? That's a big step from you, Buck."

"Hey, I'm a man of my words. If I said that I'm going to change this year then I'm gonna stick to it."

"So Leah isn't just a one-time thing to get 300 bucks?"

"Maybe yes, maybe no. We'll see how tonight goes. But one thing's for sure is that I'm getting that 300 bucks."

Sam and Bucky made a bet as their New Year's resolution that Bucky would never go on a second date with any girl or remember to call her in the morning after a wild night. His commitment issues had given him a reputation as the player in the gang. It wasn't a new thing anymore to anyone that when they visited Bucky's place in the morning, they would see a girl with a dopey smile and slightly ruffled hair walking out of his apartment, giddy that Bucky just made a promise to call her later.

You, Natasha, Wanda, Sam and Steve were hanging out at Nat's place. The six of you had been friends since college. You, Nat, Bucky and Steve had known each other since high school and the four of you kept in touch despite going to separate universities. You met Wanda when you went to NYU and Steve met Sam while he was in Harvard. Long story short, after the four of you graduated, you and Wanda lived together as roommates and even started your own bakery business. Steve and Bucky lived in the same building as you and Natasha and Sam lived nearly alone. They were too independent for roommates. Don't even start on Natasha and how much she valued her personal space. That's how the six of you ended up here, gathered at your place on a Saturday afternoon.

"Are you gonna pick her up tonight?"

"Of course. Gonna clean up well, bring her some flowers and knock on her door at 7 pm precisely. Which girl isn't gonna fall for that?" Bucky walked over to the couch you and Nat were sitting on and leaned on the headrest, his arms caging both you and Natasha.

You didn't say anything nor did Natasha because she knew about your feelings for Bucky. Despite never feeling that way about Bucky in high school, your feelings changed a week ago after learning that Bucky used to be in love with you but never had the courage to tell you. That's why he never had a girlfriend during his high school years and he wanted to take you to prom and confess his feelings to you but he was too late. Another guy had already snooped in first.

You were his first love but it wasn't reciprocated until now. That's why in college, he learned how to get over you and slept with as many women as possible because he felt like he lost four years of his life of finding the one. He never intended to be a player and feed girls empty promises, it just kind of became his way of dating. He was too afraid that no one could live up to you yet he enjoyed being with women. Hence, the bet.

The day you found out from Steve about Bucky's past feelings for you while playing truth or dare, you immediately wanted to call him up but Bucky was out of town for a few days and as soon as he was back home, he had Leah in his arm. Your heart was crushed. Wanda told you that it would probably last for a few days and that he'd eventually be single again but you totally did not expect this thing to turn into something serious. You loved Sam with every fibre of your being, he was like the big brother you never had, but you wanted to curse him for making that bet.

So you just rolled your eyes and stayed silent throughout this entire conversation, even though your heart felt like it was being stabbed over and over again. "Alright, I gotta go. Got a big date tonight. I'll see you guys in a few hours." Just like that, Bucky walked out of the room without knowing the pain his words caused you.

The next day you were sitting in your bed watching The Notebook in your pyjamas because you were too heartbroken to do anything productive. It was Sunday so you could just have a whole day to yourself and do absolutely nothing but cry. Wanda knocked on your door bringing a plate of cookies and she had a pitiful look on her face. "y/n? Sweetie? I made you these cookies, they might make you feel better." Sometimes you thank the stars for bringing her into your life.

"Thank you, Wanda. You're so nice to me." You know you probably sound like a hormonal whiny kid but everything made you cry at the moment.

"Do you need anything else? I know how it feels to get your heartbroken, trust me. When me and Vision had a fight and we didn't talk for days all I wanted was to curl up and never leave my bed, so in case you need anything, I'm here." She offered you that warm smile of hers.

"No, all I want right now is to just eat these cookies and go back to my film, thanks Wan."

"Okay, I'll be outside." Your pity party was interrupted when Nat arrived in her leather jacket and burst into your room.

"Get up, you are taking a shower and you're getting that face beat."

"Natasha, what the hell? Leave me alone."

"Y/N, listen to me. I got a date for you. His name is Scott and he's a real nice guy, he's funny, he's a good friend of mine and he is really smart. He is so much better than Bucky, I promise you. Now c'mon, I already told him that you are meeting him tonight at Stark's restaurant at 7."

You whined, doing anything you can to get her to leave you alone with your tears and your cookies but you knew that once Natasha set her mind on something, there's no talking her way out of it. Damn that woman with her determination.

"Y/N, c'mon! Wallowing all day isn't you. I know you and what's good for you. That's why I found you a great guy who will charm you so good that you will forget Barnes even existed. You can't let him win, y/n. If he's going to be happy with someone else, then you better show him that you can be much happier with other people."

You stared at her, trying to absorb her words. There's some wisdom in that. You're not the type to cry over a guy, not even for even Bucky Barnes. So you let Natasha drag you to the shower and asked Wanda to do your hair when she does your makeup. She chose an outfit for you, a dress that was not too sexy but chic enough to leave a good first impression.

Scott was early to the restaurant and he looked elated to see you. He was wearing a grey suit with no tie and he had a really exuberant smile on his face, the type that drew people easily. You could see why Natasha called him a nice guy.

"Wow, sorry, I just- didn't expect you to be this beautiful."

"Ah, thank you, Scott. Have you been waiting long?"

"No, not at all. I just arrived here like five minutes ago."

The night went on and Scott did most of the asking and talking, you answered each question curtly with forced enthusiasm in your face and body language. You weren't even listening to half of the things he said because your mind kept playing images of Bucky with Leah and how you heard from Sam that the date went well so he lost 300 bucks. You kept thinking about Bucky and Leah and how they would probably get married and have kids and live in the suburbs with a golden retriever while you'd still be single and you'd compare every man you meet to Bucky. Maybe it was your karma for not reciprocating his feelings in high school.

Five glasses of wine and you spent more time nodding than talking. Honestly, all you wanted to do was to just go home and go back to The Notebook because their love story was much better than your love life. Scott woke you out of your daze, "Natasha told you that I was cuter than this, did she?" after you gulped your sixth glass of wine.

"Oh Scott, I'm so sorry. It's not you, it's me. I know it sounds cliche but it's just... I'm not in a place where I'm looking for a boyfriend. You are a really likeable guy and I swear, if we had met at another time, maybe I would be a better date but right now, I just- I have someone else in my mind." You sighed, it felt like a relief to get that off your chest.

"Is this guy... an ex-boyfriend?"

You chuckled, "no... He wishes."

Scott nodded, "look, I don't know what your situation is but I've been through a divorce and it's never easy. But eventually, you'll be fine. You can't see it now because you haven't had closure." Then it was as if the bulb above your head was turned on.

"That's it.  Closure, yeah. That's all I need. Okay, give me a minute. I'm gonna call him now and I'm going to get my closure."

Scott sat there watching you comically trying to find your phone in your purse and tapped on Bucky's contact number. The normal you would be sweating with every ring but intoxicated you had no worries in the world... For now.

"This is Bucky. Can't pick up right now, leave a message." Beep.

"Hello, yes, Bucky! Or James, should I call you James? I always thought Bucky was a weird name. Anyways, I'm just calling to tell you that I am fine and I am on a date with Scott. And speaking of dates, I just gotta tell you that I'm happy to hear that your date went well. And that, my friend, means that I am over you. That's right, I'm over you. Tell Leah I say hi." You said sarcastically.

You hung up the phone and threw your phone back into your purse. You felt like you just won a chess game.

The next morning you decided to sleep in because your heart was pounding and you could barely sit up without feeling like you might fall. You were supposed to be working at the bakery but since you owned the bakery, Wanda let you sleep it off until you recover. You couldn't remember anything from last night, how you got back to your apartment was a mystery. You tried to put the pictures together, from being forced to go on a date, meeting a guy named Sean? Simon? Sebastian? Scott! Yes, Scott. You ordered your meals and then... Nothing, it was all blurry. You weren't even sure if anything happened at all after eating your meals.

The apartment was empty because Wanda was working at the bakery and it was just you with your hangover pills. Bucky came to your apartment without knocking because Wanda told him on the phone that you were home. He greeted you with a smile and asked about your date.

"Uh, let's see. I think there was a restaurant, I know there was wine. And there's a guy, Scott and pretty much that's all I can recall."

Bucky made a yikes face. Seeing the state you were in, he could do the math (of the wine you had). You probably enjoyed the alcohol more than the guy. What a doofus, he thought. If he was the one going on a date with you, you'd definitely remember every detail from last night.

"Leah's downstairs and I'm taking her back to her place but I left my keys here last night. Have you seen it?"

"No, check the drawers. Maybe Wanda put 'em there."

"Ah, okay." He opened the drawers and found the keys to his bike.

"Did we... Speak on the phone last night?"

"Nope, my phone was dead and I didn't charge it all night so I haven't really checked it. Why?"

"Nothing, nothing. It's just... Never mind. My memories are a bit hazy right now. You should go, say hi to Leah for me."

Bucky nodded as you walked back to your room to go lie down. Your question reminded him that he should probably check his phone now because there could be work-related messages but the first thing he heard was a voicemail from you. "Oh, y/n. I got your message!"

That instantly stopped you in your tracks. Your eyes went wide and you froze. You immediately turned around and ran to grab his phone away from him. Bucky had a confused look on his face, "who's Scott?"

"Oh my God, no, Bucky, give me the phone. Give me the phone!" But it was already too late, he was already halfway through your voicemail and by the time you successfully snatched his phone out of his grasp, he had already heard every word.

Bucky stood there dumbfounded, he needed time to process everything you just said to him. "What do you- what do you mean you're over me?"

"Oh, God... Alright, um- lately, I've um- sort of, have... Feelings for you." You never had to chase a guy or confess your crush first so this felt new and my God, it was nerve-racking.

"You have feelings for me..." He said it as if he was convincing himself that his ears got it right. Bucky couldn't believe the words that just escaped through your lips, for years he had dreamed of this moment. Though never did he ever want you to make the first move but adolescent him wanted to hear you say what he'd been wanting to say to you too.

He didn't say anything for what felt like minutes and you couldn't decipher his thoughts from the look on his face. "I need to sit down," he pulled one of the dining chairs and leaned on his side in a defeated posture.

"Bucky... Please say something." You alerted him in a hushed tone, not wanting to startle him than you already did. But he didn't. He was lost at words. What the hell was he supposed to tell her?

"Look Bucky, I'm sorry for telling you this way but I had to. I just- I've been wanting to talk to you about it since you came back to New York, well- actually, since Steve told me but-"

"Whoa, Steve told you?!" He interrupted.

"Yeah, it just accidentally slipped when we were playing truth or dare..."

"Okay well," he stood up from his seat, yet he still couldn't look you in the eye. "I can't do this right now, Leah's waiting for me downstairs and I gotta go." He basically ran out of the room and slammed the door behind him, leaving you alone.

Once your hangover had begun dissipating, you decided to help Wanda at the bakery and took the night shift. She must've been exhausted from managing the bakery alone while also helping the employees in the kitchen so you told her to go home and leave it to you. The bakery's usually slower at night.

When it was nearing closing time and your employees had gone home, you decided to clean up and turned off the lights and checked everything one last time before locking the door. The bell above the door dinged and you were slightly annoyed because who the hell comes to the bakery at this hour?

"I'm sorry we're clo...sed." It was Bucky. He stood there in a black coat, with an expression you still couldn't figure out. "Bucky, what are you-"

"You have no right to tell me that you've got feelings for me." His tone was harsh, he never spoke that way to you or anyone... Ever.

"What?"

He walked closer to you, maintaining his gaze, "You can not tell me that you've got feelings for me now when I'm doing well with my life and Leah..."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I was in love with you for years! Years, y/n! And you never said and did anything and now when everything's going well you're ruining it!"

"I am ruining it?" You repeated the question because you couldn't believe what you just heard. How dare he said those hurtful things to you.

"Yes! I was doing fine with Leah and now I don't know what's going to happen with me and her anymore..."

"Yeah, well, I was doing fine before I found out that YOU were in love with me and never had the balls to tell me!" You did everything you could to not cry, you hated crying in the middle of an argument.

"Hey, it's not like I didn't try. There were your ex-boyfriends and your dates and I had to move on. I couldn't wait forever! And now, now you're too late."

"Oh, so what? You're just gonna walk away and pretend that this never happened?"

"Yes, I'm going to do exactly that and I'm going to go see Leah." He turned around like he did earlier in your apartment and left you alone once again with your heartbreak.

"Fine! Go ahead and see Leah because I don't give a fuck about cowards like you or whoever you sleep with." You slammed the door and tried everything you could to not have a breakdown here because you really hated letting an argument hurt you. You sat on one of the chairs where the customers would sit and you hid your face with your hands and cried.

Not because you just lost an argument but because of what Bucky said and it felt like you had lost Bucky before you even had him. Now there was no hope left for you and Bucky, things were too complicated.

You didn't know how long you had cried there, alone, in the dimmed lighting of your shop but after you felt like the tears had dried, you wiped the traces of your tears from your cheeks with the back of your thumb. You stood from your seat and was ready to go home. You couldn't wait to eat some leftover pizzas, take a warm shower and cry into your pillows until you fall asleep.

But when you were about to leave, you saw Bucky standing on the other side of the door, watching you through the windows with a softer expression on his face. You opened the door and Bucky instantly grabbed your waist and kissed you as if his life depended on it.

You gave in to his kiss, letting him pour every desire and yearning into your lips for as long as he wanted. You grabbed his face because you wanted him impossibly closer and you shut your eyes, letting your guard down. Because it was Bucky, and you'd known him for as long as you could remember and you both deserved this moment.

Bucky eventually pulled away until both of you were running out of air. You were breathless from his kiss, you never knew he was such a good kisser. (It's Bucky and he's had a lot of women on his bed, of course, he was excellent at it. Who were you kidding?) But now that you've had your own front-row experience, you felt a tad of possessiveness at the thought of sharing those lips or any part of him with anyone else.

"I couldn't go back to her knowing you are here alone and I had thrown away what I've wanted for as long as I could remember."

"I'm glad you came back." You pressed your foreheads and you rested your hands on his chest. You could get used to this.

"I hope it's not too late to say this but, y/n y/l/n, will you let me take you to dinner and see a movie after maybe?"

"I wasn't the one who said it's too late," you halfheartedly teased him.

"Shut up, so is that a yes or a no?"

You bit your lip and nodded, "yes. Definitely a yes." You stared into his ocean blue eyes, so deep and beautiful, you could easily get lost in it.

"y/n y/ln, I'm going to put all of your ex-boyfriends to shame."

"Hm, we'll see about that." You put your arms around his neck. Then a thought crossed your mind and your smile faded away, "what are you gonna do about Leah though?"

"I'll talk to her in the morning. Let's take you home now, yeah? It's getting late."

You bit your lip and nodded, "okay."

Ninth grade you dreamed of popular jocks and athletic seniors, but little did you know that, sometimes, the one who sincerely loved you was the book nerd who loved The Hobbit a little too much.

[harryspet]

his to claim | bucky barnes

[Warnings] dark!alpha!bucky barnes x omega!reader, a/b/o dynamics, werewolf au, fury!reader, monica is a fury too, sam wilson x monica, virgin!innocent!reader, hint of ddlg dynamic, noncon sex, noncon marking, soulmates au, oral sex (female recieving), kidnapping

A/N: enjoy this long (long for me at least) one-shot! 

In which you befriend a lonely Alpha.

taglist: @cherienymphe @lovelynerdytraveler @buckysbunny @hollandsdream @micki-smiles @buckybarnesplumwhore @arts-ismything​ @saharzek @what-is-your-wish @brattypeony @hermayone @buckysugar @mischiefmanaged011​ @visintaes​  @watercoolerpaint​ @disaster-rose​ @slutforsebstan

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word count: 5.8k 

Sam knew Bucky was in one of his moods. One of his moods where he’d disappear for five days, not give a clue to where he was going, and return covered in blood. Although Bucky’s closest friend and Beta to his pack, Sam, was getting married this week, Bucky was stuck in his ways. Bucky knew that a wedding meant that another pack would be invading his land, filling the pack house with strangers, and two packs meant there would be two Alphas. Although he respected Alpha Fury, Bucky wasn’t the type to get along nicely with others, especially other Alphas. 

It was one in the morning when the white wolf passed through the tree line, the packhouse coming into view. The three-story cabin fit many of the high-ranking families and was the center of most pack activities. Meetings, gatherings, and celebrations for the Winter’s Shield pack were all held here. 

Bucky shifted, each one of his bones cracking roughly back into place as if they’d forgotten they were half-human. As he expected, there was a pair of shorts waiting for him on the porch. Nat always hated when he’d show up naked in the middle of the night. This is my house, he’d say. Save it for your mate, she’d say back. Bucky would always scoff at that. Not many Alphas make it to their thirties without a mate and Bucky was quite willing to keep his single streak going. 

The house was heated, comforting him after losing the warmth of his coat. Still, he was covered in elk blood and could use a shower along with a twelve-hour nap. He walked towards the winding stairs, only to hear rumbling in the kitchen, and deciding to investigate. He was the only night owl around here, or at least that’s what he thought. 

He could already smell that there were foreigners around and prayed this week would go by fast. Flicking on the kitchen light, he found you sitting on the island counter. You looked up from your carton of chocolate ice cream with wide eyes. He expected you to freak out at the sight of him but it seemed you were more embarrassed on your behalf rather than frightened. 

“Sorry … I was just gonna have one bowl and then that turned into two. And then  …” You emphasized the spoon that was sitting in the mostly eaten carton. Omega, his wolf said. There was a strange omega sitting on his kitchen counter in oversized pajamas and hair rollers. His eyes fell to something sitting behind her which she instantly pushed further behind her back in panic, “There’s a little left if you want some.”

“Who are you?” Bucky asked, a little more harshly than he intended. 

“Y/N,” You answered, a bit flustered, “I’m Monica’s sister … also her maid of honor. I know there isn’t usually a maid of honor in our wedding ceremonies but there’s always a maid of honor in the movies. I’m gonna throw her such a cool bachelorette party, Natasha said we could have it in the living room-”

Bucky felt suffocated by your excitement. Feeling overwhelmed by the bright lights and whatever his wolf was feeling for you, he said, “Stop,” He raised a hand, confused by your comfortableness with the situation. You talked to him, an Alpha, so casually and you didn’t seem at all frightened by his bloody appearance,  “Do you know who I am?”’

“Alpha Barnes,” You hopped down from the counter, making sure to keep whatever you were hiding behind your back, “Sam said you’d be back at some point. They made a bet on whether or not you’d get back before or after my dad left. Everyone said you’d skip the wedding.” 

Alpha Fury’s second daughter. An Omega. An annoying, little, ice-cream stealing Omega. 

“Well here I am,” Bucky stepped closer to you and was surprised when you didn’t even blink at that. An omega raised by an Alpha, you were something Bucky had never encountered, “Why are you raiding my kitchen so late at night, Omega.”

There was a flash of sadness in your eyes, “I had a nightmare … ice cream always makes me feel better. You ever get nightmares, Alpha Barnes?” Bucky’s brows furrowed. 

“No,” Bucky spoke coldy, confused about what was pulling him closer to you. 

“Nuh-uh, no way,” Bucky thought you were challenging him but there was an innocent smile on your face, “My Dad said you’ve fought in lots of battles, challenged a lot of other Alphas, you must see a lot of terrible stuff. You never even get a little bit scared?”

Bucky ignored your pressing question, the look on his face frustrated, “What’s behind your back?”

“Uhm … what’s behind yours?” You tried distracting him but Bucky knew there was nothing behind him. 

“Show me,” He commanded, knowing that Omega inside of you wouldn’t want to disobey him. 

You huffed. 

Stupid alphas, Bucky heard your voice but your lips didn’t move. 

You pulled an old, stuffed bear from behind your back, “It’s Mr. Cuddlebear …. he also helps with the nightmares,” In his eyes, you were definitely too old to have a stuffed animal but his wolf found it endearing. He hated that, “You never got scared even when you were a little? No monsters under the bed? Boogeyman in the closet?”

“It’s late,” Bucky changed the subject, “I’m sure we have a long week ahead of us. I’d take … that-”

“Mr. Cuddlebear,” You interrupted, reminding him of your teddy bear’s name. 

“Go to bed, little wolf.”

Stupid Alpha voice. 

You rolled your eyes as your feet began to move before your brain began to register, “Goodnight, Alpha Barnes,” You left the kitchen, carrying the teddy bear with you, “Sleep tight, don’t let the vampires bite.” He heard your little giggle as you climbed up the stairs. 

Bucky placed his hands on the counter, staring at the ice cream. Did he ever have nightmares? No one had ever asked him that before. 

Bucky cleaned up nice, you thought as you looked at him across the room. No one expected him to even come, let alone put on a nice suit jacket. The rehearsal dinner was loud with both Winter’s Shield and the Daystar pack mingling together for the first time. Sam seemed to be having the time of his life, your father was being much lighter than usual, and Monica was …. well, Monica. 

You were talking with a bunch of people, giving out the sugar cookies you’d made when you made eye contact with him. He drank from his glass of wine and you noticed he was standing with Sam and Monica. She was in the prettiest yellow dress and you could tell Sam was happy to find a mate so beautiful. 

You’d looked away, focusing on meeting everyone when Monica started to walk towards you. 

“Stay away from him, please,” She stepped in front of you.

“Stay away from who?”

“Alpha Barnes,” She spoke lowly. 

“He’ll be your Alpha soon, you know.”

“You don’t think I know that?”

“I already met him, Monica,” You smiled, “He was nice to me in like a weird, cold way.”

She shook her head, your words seeming to worry her more, “That’s what I’m worried about,” She grabbed your hand, leading you away to one of the tables in the corner. You had a plate of sugar cookies in your hands, some you’d made especially for the party to give out, “You have a tendency to make people like you but you don’t want him to like you, trust me. All that stuff Daddy taught us still stands, it doesn’t matter that we know him now. So just sit here, and do nothing, please.”

“But what about my cookies? I have to give them out!” You whined as she fenced you in, forcing you to sit down.

“I’ll do it,” She smiled, taking the plate from your hands, “You’ve socialized enough I think so just … relax.”

“But-” She was already walking away. You loved your sister, she was your best friend, but she was still a Beta. She had no idea what it was like to be you, surrounded by jerks who thought they were better than you. Maybe that’s why you liked talking with people so much, to prove that maybe you were more fragile than them but you weren’t invisible. Right now, you felt invisible. 

You could only watch everyone have fun without you for so long and you got out of the seat about ten minutes later. You left the large white tent, where it was much cooler, and you didn’t mind being alone as much. 

You told yourself to cheer up, trying not to frown. A week from now, you’ll be home, you’ll be on house arrest again but without Monica. You were going to savor this small vacation no matter the obstacles. 

Bucky found you outside sitting in the grass as you stared up at the moon. He got that feeling again, his wolf wanting to be closer to yours, and wished he felt differently. You looked back at him as you felt him approaching, and you heard Monica’s voice in your head telling you to stay away. 

“Did you try my cookies?” Your lips pulled into a smile that, like everything about you, confused him. 

“I didn’t … I watched Sam eat six of them though,” The tall Alpha responded, sticking his hands into his pants pocket. 

“Watching your perfect, Alpha-physique?”

Bucky actually felt the need to smile though he kept himself controlled, “Something of that nature, yes.”

“Awe, a few cookies won’t hurt,” You stood up from the ground, dusting off your dress. Bucky noticed your mary jane’s and the little butterfly clips in your curls, “Let me guess, you only prey on innocent animals.”

The Alpha smirked, “I’ll make sure to try your cookies next time, little wolf.”

“Sadly, there won’t be a next time,” You stepped past him and he followed after you, as you walked towards the tree line, “My father will probably find me a mate that lives across the country so he doesn’t have to deal with me.”

“Ah, that’s right,” Both Monica and Fury wanted to make it clear to him that you were practically claimed. You didn’t know yet but Peter Parker of the Stark pack was waiting for you. Fury was planning a quick, summer wedding, “I can’t imagine the poor fool who will have to deal with your kitchen raids and Mr. Cuddlebear.”

You grinned, “You remembered his name?” Bucky remembered and he’d been watching you ever since that late night, “I thought you might laugh at me, Monica does.”

Bucky was quiet for a long moment and, as you looked at him, it seemed that his mind was racing with thoughts, “I’ve had nightmares before,” He stated and you waited for him to elaborate. 

“What happened in them?” You prodded softly. 

Another long pause, “When was the last time you shifted?”

You figured that’s all you were going to get out of him. You thought for a moment, “I can’t even remember. Not since the winter solstice at least.”

“Let’s go on a run,” Bucky said, not waiting for you to agree. He picked up his pace, walking past the tree line and expecting you to follow. You hurried after him, your heart suddenly beginning to pound in your chest. 

“Alpha Bucky, Monica will kill me. Literally. She threw a hairdryer at me once,” You said, sounding panicked, though you got deeper and deeper into the woods, “And what about my dress?”

He turned around suddenly and you almost ran into his broad chest, “Take it off,” He ordered. Your hand instinctively reached up to the strap and you panicked, “Go behind a tree, I mean.”

“But Monica-”

“You’re an adult, right?”

You shrugged, “I try to be-”

“Then you can decide. Besides that, I’ll be Monica’s Alpha soon enough.”

You imagined her throwing a fit but you still conceded, walking to find a tree to hide behind, “It might take me a second, I think I’m a shy shifter.”

“Take your time, little wolf,” His words were more comforting than you expected. 

You stripped from your clothes behind the tree, trying not to imagine what Monica would think of you. An unmated female getting naked in the forest with an unmated male in the middle of the forest? There were all types of moral codes you had to be breaking. 

Standing in the cold, you shut your eyes tightly. Monica taught you the counting method when you were younger. You tried to tune out the rest of your thoughts, focusing on the nature around you, as you counted down from ten over and over again. It was instinct after that, the Moon Goddess taking over and unleashing your inner wolf. You didn’t feel the pain as your bones molded into their new positions and you became the second version of yourself. 

When you stepped from behind the tree, the white wolf was towering over your small, grey figure. 

His head tilted down towards you and you could already tell his wolf wanted to be more friendly with you than his human self. He smelled you, biting at your neck but you were even more playful in wolf form. You walked between his legs, confusing him, until you ran in the opposite direction. He chased after you and you didn’t expect to outrun him but you planned to give him a run for his money. 

He couldn’t sleep with you so close by. He tried going on another run to clear his head but his mind was full with you. He’d lived a long life yet this feeling in his soul was brand new. Never had Bucky desired anyone to be anything but a casual fling. His wolf wanted more than to just conquer you which was territory Bucky found hard to navigate. What would it say for his legacy if he took an Omega as his mate? How empty would he feel if he let you go tomorrow? What relationships would he throw away in order to claim you as his?

Covered in sweat, he pulled the sheets from his body, sitting up in his bed. 

Nightmare, his wolf echoed in his mind. Bucky rubbed his temples. That wasn’t a nightmare to him, he was just an overthinking mess. He was going to ignore that feeling until he sensed something was truly wrong. 

She dreams of pain and suffering.  

Go to her. 

Bucky stood up from his bed, filing out of his room, and down the long hallways of the packhouse. He pressed his ear to your door, his hand lightly touching the doorknob. He heard soft whimpers from the inside and, for a moment, he resisted you. He would turn around and try to go back to sleep. Instead, his wolf took control. 

Bucky opened the door, your whimpering continuing and you stirred although it wasn’t because of him. He closed the door gently, moving towards your bed, crossing a boundary that he was sure would be frowned upon. Your cheeks were stained with tears and you seemed to be grabbing Mr. Cuddlebear for dear life. 

He sat carefully at the edge of the bed, reaching out to touch you, “Y/N,” He whispered, trying to suppress the anger that he felt over the pain you were in. 

“No, no,” You whispered over and over again. 

“Little wolf,” He whispered again, his hand on your arm. The Alpha’s touch startled you out of your sleep and your eyes were wide with fear as you came back to consciousness. You weren’t sure why he was in your room or why your nightmares were getting so bad, “It’s just a bad dream-”

You sat up from your position and wrapped your arms around the Alpha. He seemed to freeze at your touch but you hugged him tighter for comfort. He wrapped his arms around you, his hand tentatively rubbing at your back and you heavily breathed against his chest. 

“I’m sorry, I just … you were crying.”

“I-I woke you up?”

“No,” Bucky lied, “I was just walking by and I heard you.”

“Alpha Bucky?”

“Yes?”

“Everything’s going to change tomorrow. My wolf, she senses something bad coming, and she’s scared.”

Bucky stiffened again, his wolf beginning to worry.  “Something bad? What do you mean?”

“I don’t know but the dreams are getting worse.”

“What do you see in your dreams?”

“I’m … I’m walking in his field, there’s so much sunshine and flowers a-and I’m walking towards the sun. I’m walking and walking and I’m happy and then I just start to sink into the ground. And I’m drowning and it feels like someone is holding me, pulling down further and further. I can’t breathe and there’s just this darkness a-and I-I-”

“Hey, hey,” He shushed you, sensing you were about to hyperventilate,  “It’s okay. Nothing is going to take you away. No one, do you understand?”

He felt you nodding and he grabbed you tighter, deciding he was going to hold you for as long as you needed him to. 

“I didn’t tell you because of this reason-”

The pen in Bucky’s hand snapped in half and his fists balled up tightly, “Sam, today is your wedding, I understand that but this is my territory. I decide who comes in and out of it. That’s final.”

“They’re already here-”

“Then send them away. Fury is trying to push me and this is the final straw.”

“He’s already married the first daughter off, he’s just trying to do the same with Y/N. And he knows that this is a chance for three alphas to sit down and discuss what we’re going to do about the rogue situation.”

Feeling that he was drawing blood from clenching his fist so hard, he moved them under his desk.  “I can handle problems that concern my own pack. Tony is even more arrogant than Fury, we’ll never agree.”

“You have to at least try, Alpha,” Sam sighed, “You haven’t found one woman you’d consider having little Buckys with. Maybe Stark will bring someone that will pique your interest?”

Bucky ignored him, “When Stark arrives-” Sam let out a triumphant cheer, “-Bring him and Fury to my office. I won’t need you here, I’m sure you’ll have much to prepare for this evening.”

“You won't regret this.”

Bucky followed Peter’s line of sight. There you were, standing in a beautiful periwinkle dress, waiting for your sister to walk down the aisle and join an anxious Sam. The birds were singing, a violin was being played, and everyone was collectively ready to celebrate the joyous moment. Everyone except Bucky.

Of course, Peter wanted to look at you, a beautiful creature, an unmated female, he'd be lucky to call you his mate. He was young like you, he'd be able to get all your references, keep up with your energetic ramblings, you'd get to go far away from your father and you'd be so happy. You'd forget all about Monica. You’d forget all about the week you spend in Winter’s Shield. 

The wedding went off without a hitch and Bucky watched you have the time of your life. Peter targeted you, of course, that was the entire reason was her, to woo you and it was working. You were dancing together, laughing when Peter made a silly misstep.

Bucky shooed away every Stark girl who tried to approach him, even denying a Beta, until he was standing alone in the corner. 

The festivities calmed down late into the night, you had to say goodbye to Peter, Monica was whisked away to a “private cabin” and everyone else returned to their rooms. Your father reminded you to pack your things as you’d be leaving early in the morning. 

Looking at Mr. Cuddlebear sitting on your bed, you were reminded of the events of last night. You didn’t expect so much kindness from the cold Alpha but, as Monica warned you, he seemed to like you. You still thought she was being dramatic with her warning and that she would grow to like her new Alpha. 

You never did really get to thank him and he also never tried your cookies. You had an amazing idea and late-night baking always led to amazing things. 

Bucky was pacing the length of his room when there was a knock at his door. His wolf knew instantly that it was with you like the Moon Goddess had answered his prayers. He was fighting every natural urge in his body and he planned to hide away until everyone was gone tomorrow. Now, he had no idea what he was going to do. 

When Bucky opened the door, you were standing with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk, and a kind smile on your face, “A thank you for last night,” You offered, “I figured you’d like a plain chocolate chip cookie. I’m not sure though-”

“Come in,” Bucky said quickly, closing the door behind you. You noted that he was still wearing his dress pants though he was only wearing a sleeveless undershirt at his top. Though you’d seen him shirtless before, this time felt more intimate. 

“Try one,” You insisted, “Please.”

Bucky was hesitant, his diet not usually including such human pleasures, but he was quite surprised with the first bite. You seemed nervous, expecting a good reaction which Bucky found adorable, “They’re good,” Bucky nodded, “I mean, they’re great. Here, come sit down.”

As you took a seat on the edge of the giant bed, Bucky grabbed the glass and plate from your hands, moving to set it on the nightstand, “Your room is … big.”

You grew a bit nervous as the bed dipped beside you and Bucky took a seat. You always felt his strong energy, even last night, but now it was a bit overpowering. You blamed it on the approaching full moon and tried to ignore it, “You don’t like it?”

“No, no, I like it. It’s … simple,” Bucky tried his best to register your mood. Were you nervous? That was the last feeling he expected to feel from you. You were always rambling or talking about something you were annoyingly passionate about. 

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked, his head turned to you. 

You didn’t answer him, “What do you know about the Stark pack?”

Bucky’s hands folded together and his jaw clenched as reality set in, “I sense you know of your father’s plans.”

“I had a suspicion,” You sighed.

“And … you’re unhappy with his decision?” 

You were quiet for a moment, “What if it isn’t a good idea?”

“I’m sure … I’m sure your father wouldn’t lead you astray. The man infuriates me but he’s usually quite wise …”

“You’re right …” You said, staring back at the Alpha who seemed to be experiencing a whirlwind of emotions behind his eyes, “My nightmares, they just make me nervous for the future-”

“You could stay,” Bucky stated quickly, sure of himself. His hand touched your thigh and your eyes began to widen, “With me, I mean. And, of course, Monica would be here too.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, “You don’t mean … I’m an Omega, Alpha Bucky.”

A thin smile pulled at his lips, “I’ve noticed that, yes. Believe me, my offer does not come from a place of ignorance. I’ve been thinking about this, I promise, and it could be good for both of us. You could stay near your sister and I could …”

It took everything in you to push away from that bed, “My Dad would be livid. Beyond livid, actually. And Peter. The treaty. It would throw everything off balance, Alpha Bucky.” He stood, his shadow draping over you as you took a hesitant step back. 

“Who needs balance if there is a connection here. My wolf feels yours, they’re drawn to each other, I know you can sense that.”

“Bucky-”

“Listen, little wolf, please,” He insisted, stepping closer, “I’ve never been sure before, not in my entire life. This, I am sure about.”

You shook your head, “Well, I am not,” Bucky’s eyes seemed to darken, “I like you and there’s a connection, yes, but as my father’s daughter, I have responsibilities. I respect him too much to go behind his back. You have to understand that.” 

“You came here tonight. That night in the forest. You didn’t know it but you called me to your room last night. What am I supposed to make of your advances-”

“Advances? I thought you were a friend-”

“Stop,” He commanded, leaving your body frigid from the power of his voice, “Don’t move.”

He took your face into his hands and you whimpered, “Bucky, I gave you the wrong impression.”

“No, you may not know it yet but this is what your wolf wants. We’re animals, underneath it all, and there’s only so much we can control our own desires,” You pushed against his chest when he smashed his lips on yours. You bit down on your bottom lip, wishing your feet would push you further away from him. When he pulled away, he was grinning, blood on his lips, “Biting, huh? I’m happy to play along with your game.”

You opened your mouth but he was too quick, “Don’t scream, little wolf. The screaming is the next part.”

His hands move to your waist, pulling you into his muscular body. He kissed you again, kissing the sides of your mouth and chin.  Your hands pulled into small fists as he held you, his touch sending foreign feelings through your body. You felt an overwhelming warmth, more than his body heat, but the warmth of the bond his own wolf felt for yours. His mouth met with your neck and that's when your lips parted and moans escaped your lips. 

“Please,” Was all you could manage. “Please stop.”

Your mouth was saying one thing but it was clear to him that you enjoyed his touch, “Don’t think of me like the bad guy, Omega. When I’m your Alpha, I won’t be like Fury. I’ll let you be who you are, you won’t be just an object to pawn off for power. You’ll be my Omega but you’ll stand beside me, not behind. You’ll be happy with me. I can take the nightmares aways, remember?”

“No, no,” You resisted, knowing deep down that he was that darkness in your dream. You were right to be scared but you hadn’t suspected that you should be scared of me, “M-My father will challenge you a-and you’ll lose any respect you once had.”

He grabbed you roughly by your chin, his forehead pressed against yours as he held your body, “I’ve never cared much for puritanical pack society … why should I care now, Omega?”

You sniffled, “Because you care about me?”

“You’re young, little wolf. I don’t expect you to fully understand but it's because I care that I have to do this. It will only hurt for a little while, okay?” He wasn’t asking for permission and as he pulled his face from yours, his eyes went black, and you were already screaming as his sharp canines protruded from his mouth. 

He pulled your head to the side, sinking his teeth into your shoulder. As you collapsed, he kept you in his arms, and you both went down to your knees. It was an indescribable pain, paralyzing, until it wasn’t. Your vision blurred as it felt like the strongest drug rushed through your body. It was not the way you imagined you’d be marked, you surely weren’t in love, and the man who’d claimed you was unhinged. 

As you slipped into the darkness, you heard someone screaming your name. You felt a little hope that you’d be saved but you couldn’t hold on longer. 

You grabbed your shoulder instantly as your eyes shot open, roughly pulling yourself from slumber. You winced, your hand running over the bandaged skin, as you realized the magnitude of the situation. Taking a moment to look around your surroundings, you found that you were somewhere that you didn’t recognize. 

It was a small, one-room cabin, the living room, kitchen and the bed you were on were all in the same room. A tear slipped down your face as you threw your legs over the side of the bed. Your legs were bare, your bridesmaid dress gone, and a large t-shirt was the only thing that you were wearing. He’d undressed you all the way and had no problem with it, probably due to the fact that he’d bonded you together for life. 

He’d even made sure to bring Mr. Cuddlebear along though you weren’t sure anything could calm you now. 

As you were about to push yourself off the bed, the cabin door opened, and a shirtless, freshly-shifted Bucky appeared. He took one look at you and his jaw clenched. 

“W-Where are we?”

“Couple miles off of my territory,” He stated, shutting the door and walking to the kitchen. As he turned his back, you got up from the bed, moving cautiously towards the fireplace which was closer to the door, “So no one can bother us.”

“My Father, where is he? How did you … without him knowing …” 

He reached into the cabinet, grabbing a glass to fill with tap water. You were eyeing the door, wondering if he was just pretending to be distracted by his task, “Oh, he knew,” Bucky chuckled, “He was livid, like you said, but he couldn’t do anything. He can’t touch you anymore now that you’re bitten. No one can.”

Your face fell, “But-” Bucky turned around and it hit you. The bite reshaped your chemistry and now any Alpha wouldn’t be able to get near you until you were fully mated. Alpha Fury wasn’t coming for you. 

But Monica-

“Monica isn’t coming either, little wolf. Remember, I’m her Alpha now too,” Bucky moved forward, the glass in hand, “You should drink, you lost a good amount of blood.”

You stepped to the side, moving away as he approached, “You knew you’d only hurt me, even when I thought you were my friend.”

His lips pressed into a thin line as he moved closer, “I know that’s how you feel now-” You climbed onto the couch and over it as he moved closer, “Y/N, come here. Now.” You eyed the door, now closer to it than he was. 

“You’re a monster.”

“Little mate, if you continue to not listen to me, I’m going to come over there, throw you over my shoulder, and tie you down to that bed for the next few days because that's just the type of mood I’m in right now.”

“I’ll never. Be. Your mate-”

 The sound of breaking glass made you jump and you watched the cup crumble in his grasp. Almost falling, you made a sprint for the door. As soon as you’d gotten it open, a hand was above you, slamming it closed. He grabbed you by the waist, pulling you back towards the bed. 

He pushed you down onto it, making sure not to put any pressure on your bite, before climbing on top of you. He pinned down your kicking legs, saying, “You’ll hurt yourself, little mate,” He tried to console you, shushing you as you began to whimper, “Please don’t fight it anymore…” But you panicked even more as he lifted your shirt. 

He gripped your thighs tightly, pulling your exposed sex to his mouth. One hand you could barely move because of the bite, the other gripped the comforter tightly, as he kissed between your thighs. Of course you’d never been touched so Bucky would be as gentle as he could manage. He also knew that your new bite would heighten every feeling he gave you and it wasn’t long before you’d be a mewling mess. 

You thought that maybe you’d gone into heat, that’s why his touch felt so good, but you were very wrong. You could only imagine what it would feel like when your body craved to be pregnant. He cooled your fire, and within thirty seconds you were already having your first orgasm. He kept his mouth on you as you rode out the pleasure, not letting you take any breaks as he began to kiss up your body, moving the shirt further and further up your body. 

He kissed over your mark which sent waves of pleasure through you, making him growl, “You’re mine, little mate,” Then he kissed your lips as you moaned against them. As he positioned himself between your legs, you knew what was coming. 

“Bucky, please. I-I’m scared.”

“It’ll hurt just for a little while,” He assured you, reaching above you to grab Mr. Cuddlebear, “Hold on to your bear, little wolf.”

You held the stuffed bear tightly against your chest as he positioned himself at your entrance. You could feel how big he was even as you tried to avoid eye contact with him. Looking away didn’t last long as he grabbed your chin, making sure he could see your face as he slid each inch inside of you. He stretched you open, taking the air from your lungs, as you tried to adjust to the feeling. 

“That’s it, I’ve got you,” He grunted, leaning down to kiss your chin. He’d slowly pull in and out of you, letting you get used to him. He kissed over your mark again, easing the pain, and turning your whimpers into moans, “Good girl, my good girl.”

“Please,” You started to wish for him to push you over the edge, to give you another orgasm, not for him to let you go. He kissed you, using his hand to rub your sensitive bulb as he pushed in and out of you, “Please, please - ah!”

Your back arched and your senses were delighted as an orgasm ripped through you. He didn’t slow, speeding up his pace, as he went back to kissing over your bite. He reached below you, pulling you further down onto his member. He was animalistic, every natural instinct in his body telling him to pleasure you until you couldn’t walk anymore and to round your belly. 

You came again, this time at the same time as him, your bodies melting together as he released within you. As he laid against you, catching his breath, you could see the setting sun shining through the window. He wasn’t anything like you feared and maybe that's why you trusted him so easily.

“You’ll be happy with me one day, I promise,” He kissed your wet cheeks. 

Part of you hoped you could trust him again because, after all, that mark was forever.

[citrinesparkles]

doctor todd.

jason todd x gender neutral vigilante!reader. 1,875 words. notes: requested by @jason-redhood as part of my hundred followers celebration! this got a lot longer than i intended, oopsies. thanks for requesting- hope you enjoy! warnings: tending wounds, mentions of food.

"y'know, lurking outside somebody's window is a good way to get yourself shot," jason called over his shoulder.

"i'll keep that in mind," you said, voice strained enough to shoot dread into his veins and draw his attention completely away from his work.

he set the gun he had been cleaning on the table and twisted around to find you gingerly sliding through the open window.

"hey," you mumbled, giving him a weak wave after your boots hit the floor. "sorry for not calling, i just..."

you were backlit, the glow of the city making it impossible to see your features from the dining area- but your posture alone was enough to have him shoving his chair back and crossing his apartment.

"how bad?" he asked, stopping a few steps back, now able to make out the tears in your suit and the bruises around your mask.

"pretty sure i sprained my wrist, and there's a poorly-bandaged gash on my leg, but otherwise i'm peachy."

"how bad's the leg?"

"i'm... not sure. bad enough that i think i need your help." you patted the windowsill with a gloved hand. "obviously."

he nodded and slid to your good side, gently resting a hand on your shoulder. "okay. c'mon, my stuff's in the bathroom."

-

"here." he handed you a pair of shorts and a large tank top. "change into this so i can get to the wounds, okay? i'll be right out here if you need anything."

-

"you're good!" you called.

he nudged the bathroom door back open and scooped your uniform up from the floor, carefully putting it in a canvas bag and tying the handles together before setting it in the tub to deal with later. "alright," he sighed, turning back to face you.

his clothes looked way too right on you, he realized, a wave of emotion he would vehemently deny surging through his chest and pushing heat to his neck and cheeks.

"alright?"

"okay. alright. uh-" he jerked a thumb at the counter- "up here, i guess, so i can see your leg."

you propped one foot on the toilet lid and braced your good hand against his shoulder, his hands instinctively coming up to hover around your waist as you pushed yourself up and settled next to the sink.

the grateful smile you gave him was enough to tug his lips into a smile of his own.

"you're up, doctor todd," you teased.

he stepped forward with a halfhearted eyeroll, fingers brushing the cloth tied hastily around your leg. "can i take this off?"

"go ahead."

he tugged gently at the knot, wincing when you inhaled sharply. "sorry."

the scrap fell away, revealing dried blood and an open wound on the outside of your thigh.

"yeesh, that is nasty," he said.

you scoffed lightly. "gee, thanks."

"hey, if you wanted a nice doctor, you probably should have gone somewhere else." he shifted to the side, grabbing a clean cloth and bottle of alcohol. "fair warning, you're really not gonna like me here in a minute."

your quick "i seriously doubt that." was greeted with a grin that felt a little too fond for his liking.

he told himself it was for your benefit.

...yeah, that sounded good.

he could live with that.

-

he made quick work of cleaning the gash, doing his best to distract you by making stupid small talk about the horrible movie he'd sat through that morning because the tv remote had been out of reach and the mediocre new coffee shop with dry blueberry muffins.

"was the coffee okay, at least?"

"okay, yeah, but not 'five-dollars-fifty' okay. if i hadn't been falling asleep in line i probably would have left when i saw the price."

"there's a nice one up by my place, they make the best blueberry muffins ever."

he hummed. "i'll keep that in mind, next time i'm over that way." he leaned back, studying your cut. "i think stitches would probably be smart."

you groaned. "of course they would."

"i'm okay to do them- i do them on myself- but if you want i can give you a lift to a hospital or something."

"no. if you can, i want you to do them. i trust you."

he sat with that for a minute, searching your face for any hesitation. when he found none, he nodded. "okay."

-

as you both expected, it sucked.

to make things worse, he was rapidly running out of mindless things to talk about.

how many times could two people really argue about pizza toppings before it got old?

-

"alright, done."

"holy shit, finally." you slumped back, leaning on your good hand for a moment before your head snapped back up. "no, not like- i meant thank you, you did great, i'm not being an ingrate-"

"i know, relax." he nudged your knee with a goofy smile. "here, gimme your wrist."

you pouted (which, yes, that was also adorable, much to his dismay), carefully stretching your bad arm out.

he took your hand gently, scooping it up in one of his and bracing your forearm up with his other. "it's actually not too bad, considering you hit hard enough to tear your glove. i'm gonna clean the scrapes here up, though, okay?"

"do i really get a choice?"

"it's your body, so, yeah."

you sighed dramatically. "fine, if you insist. go ahead, clean my wounds for me."

-

he was quiet this time, focusing intently on removing bits of dirt and stuff from your raw palm with a set of tweezers.

trying to ignore the way your eyes seemed to linger on him now that he was looking down.

he set the tweezers aside, glancing up at you to find you smiling at him thoughtfully, and dropped his gaze just as quickly as he had lifted it. "what, you enjoying making me do all the work?"

"you could say that, yeah."

he scoffed. "well, you're going to enjoy it a lot less in a second. time for the alcohol again."

"ugh."

-

he managed to dig up an old wrist brace in the back of his sock drawer. a little big for you, but it would work for now, he figured.

"may i?"

you nodded and held your arm back out for him to loop the brace over your thumb and tuck the velcro strap under and around, pulling it snug against your skin before sticking it to itself.

-

"last one, tough stuff." he pointed at your cheek, where a small patch of dried blood stained your skin. "ready?'

you nodded tiredly. "let's just get this over with. this counter isn't as comfortable as it looks."

he chuckled, dampening the softest cloth he had and wringing it out. "sorry, i didn't think i needed to get an apartment with counter cushions." he raised his left hand up, hovering an inch or so below your chin. "uh, can i..?"

your eyes widened, glancing at his hand. "oh, uh, sure. yeah."

he moved slowly, raising it to cup your chin softly with his middle and forefinger on one side and thumb on the other. "this okay?"

"mhm." your eyes slid shut and he could almost believe that you sank into his touch.

if it wasn't absolutely insane, anyway. his touch wasn't exactly the kind people sank into- much less people like you. people that good, that caring, that stunning? yeah, no.

he tilted your head to the side slightly, rubbing gentle circles across your cheekbone with the cloth and watching as the blood faded.

"so, who did this?" he asked softly, casually.

apparently not casually enough, though, because you snorted at him. "why, you think you need to go avenge me? defend my honor or something?"

"no! i'm just curious. just... making conversation."

your eyes opened, amusement dancing in them and threatening to hypnotize him. "good. i shouldn't have to tell you who won that fight, jay."

"well, i mean, you are missing a chunk of your thigh."

"aw, is the big bad vigilante worried about lil old me?"

he squeezed your face gently, pushing your cheeks up and forward into a goofy fish face. "it's rude to tease the guy tending to your wounds, babe."

he definitely didn't imagine your breath hitching. "babe, huh?" you asked playfully.

"shut up," he grumbled. "don't make me regret helping."

-

"alright, looks like that's the last scrape. you're all cleaned up."

"thanks, jason." you smiled up at him, soft and warm and genuine. "i really appreciate this."

"yeah, yeah." he squeezed your jaw again. "try not to make it a habit."

"mhm." a moment passed quietly before you spoke quietly. "so, you gonna do something here, or can i have my face back?"

he froze.

your mouth- which he was really trying not to look at- shifted into a confident smirk, a challenge written clearly in the angle of your lips.

your eyes, bright under the harsh lighting, told a different story. one of vulnerability, and want, and something close to fear.

"do you want me to?" his voice was hoarser than he'd intended, and he swore you could hear his heartbeat echoing in it.

your gaze dipped to his lips. "would it make everything super weird?"

"you just came crawling through my window in the middle of the night in a mask and kevlar. i think things are already weird."

he felt your hum under his fingers. "then why not?"

"do you really want me to answer that?"

"jason, will you please just kiss me already?"

"well, you did say please." he leaned in slowly, giving you every opportunity to slip away or yell 'sike!'

all you did was bring your good hand up to his collar and pull him towards you.

your lips were soft and gentle, and the way they pulled upwards slightly when his hand slid from your jaw to cup your cheek was something he'd be thinking about for weeks.

when he eventually pulled back, it took him a moment to open his eyes. he was half convinced that if he did, it would be to his bedroom ceiling, the past half an hour all a dream.

instead, he found your fond gaze.

"finally."

he let out a huff of laughter, thumb running over your cheek. "you should stay here tonight."

"w-"

"not like that," he clarified quickly. "you have stitches, you shouldn't go leaping across rooftops tonight. i can take the couch."

"hm." you smoothed out his shirt collar, the barely-there brush of your fingers against his shoulder almost tugging a whine out of him. "or i can take the couch, and then you can take me home in the morning and let me treat you to an actual blueberry muffin."

"are you asking me out?" it was a teasing comment, paired with a tiny smirk meant to fluster you.

but it was also a reality check.

you seemed to catch the second meaning. "yeah, i am. would you, please, let me take you out on a date?"

"i'll have to check my calenda-"

"you're so full of it."

"yeah, probably."

"is that a yes?"

he laughed, bringing his other hand up to squeeze your knee. "yeah, i can let you take me on a date. i could use a good muffin."

[tootiredmotel]

Electricity

Inspired by @ledzeppelinmixtape 's emoji prompt: ⛈

Read on ao3 or below / 2.3k words

It's 11pm and storming biblically when Dean and Cas's apartment goes dark.

"Great," Dean mutters under his breath. "Fan-freaking-tastic."

From somewhere else in the apartment, his roommate asks "did the power go out?"

"What do you think, sunshine?" Dean replies sarcastically.

He has a half-written essay in front of him, but he knows his old-ass computer won't last long unplugged, so he saves the document before shutting it off. He leans back in his chair, stretching for the first time in an hour and running a hand down his face. He actually needed a break from the screen, he realizes, feeling his eyes relax as he rubs them.

The steady rain and strong winds outside make an overwhelming white noise track, interrupted only by thunder that goes from faint and distant to deafening in volume. If Dean wasn't stressed out of his mind and completely exhausted right now, he might actually find this kind of nice.

"It's raining cats and mice out there," he hears Cas say, his voice now in the room.

Dean smiles, still rubbing his eyes with the backs of both his hands. "Cats and dogs, Cas."

"Right. Cats and dogs."

It’s really no use correcting him; the entire animal kingdom could be falling from the sky right now and there wouldn't be much of a difference. The winds are definitely knocking things over, and the streets will certainly be flooded come morning. Dean wonders for how long the university will cancel classes after this (if at all, the heartless bloodsuckers).

A particularly loud clap of thunder startles Dean. He drops his hands from his face and opens his eyes, expecting to see pitch black nothingness, but the room is faintly lit by the flashlight Cas is holding as he rummages through their kitchen drawers. He approaches a minute later and sets a candle down on the small table.

"Smart."

"Thank you, Dean," Cas says, sitting down opposite him. Dean smiles again, this time shaking his head.

If anyone ever asked him to mention one thing he likes about Cas, just one, he'd probably say how genuine Cas is, how he takes everything to heart and speaks from it as well. Dean said just one word, smart, a simple comment on the fact that it occurred to Cas to light a candle instead of wasting the battery of their one flashlight, and Cas genuinely thanked him for the compliment. He's just ridiculously cute in his earnestness.

Cas is trying to light the candle now, but their lighter is tricky. Despite living together in that apartment for a year and a half now Cas has never really gotten the hang of it.

"Here, let me."

Dean means to take the lighter from Cas and do it himself, he really does. That is 100% his intention as he reaches across the table. Except he sees an opportunity, and Dean Michael Winchester is nothing if not smooth.

He wraps his hand around Cas's, gently guiding his fingers until they’re placed just right, and the lighter clicks on with ease. Cas meets his eyes, smiling, and Dean can feel the slightest brush of Cas’s thumb against his hand. It’s a small gesture, but clearly deliberate, and it sends Dean’s heart into overdrive. Cas leans away, puts the lighter aside, and starts leafing through a book he brought. Dean’s heart is still racing as he watches him.

Scratch that first thing. If anyone ever asked him what’s one thing he likes about Cas? His hands. God. Neat nails, slightly calloused palms, and overall larger hands than you’d expect. Cas is an environmental science major and he wants to get a Ph.D. in botany, so of course, there’s a small garden on their fire escape. He tends to those plants every day with more gentleness and care than Dean has ever seen, and Dean loves to watch him, even though he has no idea what Cas is doing with them half the time. He just knows that not a single one of their plants have died under Cas’s care. He names them too.

His attentiveness. That���s another thing Dean might say if anyone ever asked. Cas left to visit his sister Anna last winter break. He left Dean in charge of the plants, three of which died inside the week. (For Dean’s birthday a couple of months later, Cas got him a book. How Not to Kill Your Houseplant. Dean keeps it on his nightstand.) Dean went out and bought new ones, but he knew Cas would notice the difference, and he did. He wasn’t mad at Dean though, and he appreciated the effort, and as Dean apologized profusely over and over again, Cas looked at him in the eyes oh-so-softly and told him he was forgiven.

How could Dean possibly forget? If anyone ever asked, he’d say that Cas’s eyes are one of his favorite things about him. One of his favorite things, period. Dean is absolutely mesmerized whenever Cas looks him in the eye, and the guy loves making eye contact, which means that Dean lives in a perpetual smitten daze. He has never seen that shade of blue anywhere else on this earth. Or maybe he just hasn’t been looking, content to get his fill of that blue by staring into Cas’s eyes as much as he gets to on a daily basis.

“Are you alright, Dean?”

Dean blinks himself back to reality. “Hm?”

“You seem… spaced.”

Dean is staring. He’s been staring this whole time. Shit. Crap.

“Yeah, um. Just tired.”

Mr. Smooth, everybody.

“Maybe you should go get some rest. I doubt the power will be back anytime soon.”

Castiel Milton, always looking out for you. It makes Dean melt.

“Yeah, maybe.” I wanna stay here with you, though, he thinks. Instead, because he’s pathetic, he asks “what’re you reading?”

Cas shows him the cover. How Not to Kill Your Houseplant. Dean breaks out in laughter.

“So you’re going into my room and stealing my shit now?”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t touch your Vonneguts.” Cas puts the book aside, an easy smile on his face. “Just wanted something light to pass the time.”

“You done with your homework?”

A soft yawn escapes Cas. “For now.”

“Dude, why not just go to sleep? You look exhausted.”

“Look who’s talking.”

Dean tries to deadpan him. He fails, because around Cas, it’s near impossible for him to not smile.

“Besides, I might be done but you weren’t.”

“And you wanted to keep me company.”

Cas shrugs as if to say I guess, but he does it with a knowing smile. The smile doesn’t falter as he meets Dean’s eyes, and he doesn’t look away when silence settles between them, the only sound being the stormy white noise.

Dean is sure he could drown in that blue and die happy.

Before that train of thought gets away from him again, Dean tears his gaze away and stretches. “We should really go to bed though, I’m not getting any more done tonight,” he says as he stands.

“Of course,” Cas says, but he grabs the book again.

“You not going?”

“I want to finish this chapter.”

The seriousness in his tone makes Dean smile. Again.

“Well, g’night, Cas.”

“Good night, Dean.”

Dean thinks he detects a bit of shakiness in Cas’s voice but decides that he’s probably just tired.

He gets to his room and changes into something comfortable, the first t-shirt and sweatpants he finds as he rummages in the dark. He goes to set his phone on his nightstand and crawl into bed, but in place of the book he keeps there and puts his phone on top of– the book Cas has at the moment– he finds something else.

It’s paper. It’s folded into the form of a book, like one of those youtube craft tutorials with bad music, and it's no bigger than his own palm. The cover is handwritten, and Dean immediately recognizes it as Cas's. He smiles, expecting a prank or joke of some sort, Cas knows how stressed Dean can get with the start of the semester. However, his smile falters as he reads the cover:

How to tell your best friend you’re in love with him.

With a shaky hand, Dean opens the small book. The first page is the only one with any more writing on it, and it reads:

You leave him a note and hope it’s enough.

Dean is storming out of his bedroom (no pun intended) before he knows it. He barely even feels his feet moving, too focused on the pounding in his ears and the dryness in his mouth. He doesn’t go into the living room, not yet; his feet stop at the end of the short hallway and he braces himself against the wall. The room is spinning and he can barely breathe.

“Cas?” He chokes out.

Cas puts the book back down on the table in front of him and interlocks his fingers in front of him. He doesn’t look at Dean– Cas, who makes too much eye contact – and takes a deep breath before saying “yes?”

He’s nervous.

Dean takes a step forward, still keeping one hand on the wall just in case, and holds up the note. “What is this?” he asks, because his brain is just not there with him yet.

Cas stands, still not facing Dean. “Dean, do you know what day it is?”

He’s asking this now???

“September firs–”

Oh. Oh shit.

“Cas isn’t today the–”

“The night we met. Two years ago.”

Dean feels his brain catching up now as the memory starts coming back to him. Cas helps, starting to recount that night.

“Two years ago tonight, I was leaving my night course at the university, and it was raining. Not as bad as this,” –Cas looks out the window and lightning strikes, as if on cue– “but pretty badly, and I was an inexperienced freshman without an umbrella.”

Dean remembers. He was walking Charlie to her dorm when it started drizzling, and it was pouring by the time he made it back to his car. Dean had a night shift at the gas station and was about to head there.

“Two years ago tonight,” Cas continues, “you invited me into your car to shelter me from the rain.”

Dean saw this guy running in the direction of the men’s dorms, which were on the other side of campus. He felt bad, and he had a car, so he opened the passenger door and let him in.

Turned out to be the most gorgeous guy he’d ever laid eyes on. He was a bit awkward, but he had no filter, which made him weirdly funny. He asked about the music playing in the car and listened intently to Dean's rambling. He laughed at his jokes too.

At the end of the five-minute drive, he said his name was Castiel, and Dean asked for his number and saved it as Cas with a thunderstorm emoji. Because even if he didn’t know it yet, Dean was already whipped.

“Two years ago,” Cas says, finally looking up at Dean. His eyes are wide and vulnerable and he looks terrified and Dean can barely stand it. “Two years ago tonight, I started to fall in love with you.”

Dean can’t breathe. His ears are hot and he can’t stop fidgeting with the note in his hand and he can’t breathe.

But his feet start moving again, out of their own volition. They move toward Cas.

“If you don’t feel–” Cas starts, but Dean swallows his words.

Again, Dean’s brain isn’t all there yet, and he doesn’t realize what he’s doing until he’s already in it. He’s grabbing Cas’s face, digging his fingertips into the back of his hair, and the note is forgotten on the table, and thunder rumbles not that far away. He’s darting out his tongue, begging to explore Cas’s mouth as he’s wanted to do since forever, and Cas lets him. He tastes like toothpaste and coffee and honey and Dean never wants to taste anyone else ever again.

Cas is wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist and pressing his entire body against him. It’s making Dean weak in the knees but it’s okay because Cas is almost holding him upright at this point. There’s another clap of thunder, much closer this time, and the lightning probably illuminated the apartment, but it wasn’t enough to make them part. They’re moving and grasping and exploring frantically, and Dean is afraid Cas is going to disappear, or that he’s going to wake up and this will all have been another dream. But no, it’s real, and they’re playing catchup on two years worth of desire and longing and love.

They eventually pull away, breathless and giddy. The only sounds are the rain and the wind. Dean opens his eyes first, needing to see Cas and make sure this is completely, definitely, unequivocally real. Cas is smiling and taking deep breaths, and a weight seems to be lifted off his shoulders. He opens his eyes a second later, and even in the darkness, even with just the faint candlelight, the blue in them seems to shine. And even though there's no power, it feels as if there's electricity crackling in the air around them. It might be the storm.

No. It's the moment. This moment with Cas is what feels electric.

“Come to bed?” Dean asks, feeling brave and going out on a limb. The only way Cas responds is by interlocking his hand into Dean’s and kissing him again.

And after tonight, for the rest of his life, if anyone ever asks him “what’s one thing you love about Cas?” Dean won’t be able to narrow down an answer.

He’ll just say: “Everything.”

[quillsanddaydreams]

❝Is not-fighting enough? Is caring enough? You did not know. All you knew was that things had changed for the better and that hope often ruined relationships too fragile. Being on tip-toes around George wasn’t what you had expected but had received it anyway. And life had taught you how to make do with things.❞

PART 03 OF ARRANGED | SERIES MASTERLIST

PAIRING: George Weasley x fem!Reader

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hehe planned something good for this one, hoping you like it. Do tell me what you think!!

WARNING(S): Violence, blood, injuries, passing out, mentions of food and drink.

WORD COUNT: 3,606

Flattening out the skirt you wore, your eyes skimmed across your surroundings. It was rather late, the sky had turned a darker blue. Shops had switched on their porch lights, people laughed and giggled around you. The cool drink on your table was quickly perspiring, dampening the table cloth below. You stared at the menu, your mind elsewhere.

Days had been happier lately. Somehow George and you had got even closer over the past week and a half. Jokes and lighthearted conversations were common, but he had also opened up to you as you did him. It made you giddy— talking to him. The inexpressible happiness that came with being near someone you clicked with.

It was just; easy being around him. Notice things he liked, what made him tick, what made him smile— the crinkle of his eyes before he would quip a joke. You spent more time outside your bedroom, often at the coffee table as George took up the couch. Growing fond of him wasn’t something you had anticipated, but had definitely welcomed. The emptiness you felt at the apartment had now melted away, leaving behind laughs and uncertain emotions.

“Stay safe,” George had whispered as you put on your shoes. He stood there, his arms folded looking at you nervously— you hadn’t told him it was an important mission, but somehow he had picked it up. Perhaps you had been fidgeting with the toy he made for you far too much.

“I’m always cautious,” you had said with a laugh, ignoring the way your heart fluttered at his words.

“Yes, and that’s why you always come back with bad wounds,” he replied then, deadpanning, making you grimace. “Just— take care.” Rolling your eyes you left the house, feeling his concerned eyes at the back of your head.

A hand over yours broke you out of your reverie. Sebastian watched you with distress. You had been waiting at the pizzeria for over two hours now, sweat clung to your skin, it was difficult to keep smiling.

“This is not how it was supposed to go,” he muttered under his breath, the slight grit in his jaw gave away the tenseness. You took a deep breath, covering his hands with yours trying not to appear how on edge you were.

According to the intel you received, Voldermort was to send a few death eaters to put a close Order member under the imperius curse for surveillance. The mission was simple, get to know who that Order member was to keep them under observation later. Except there was neither a death eater nor an intended victim in sight. The more the seconds ticked by, the more your frustration grew. Illusionment charms wouldn’t last for more than an hour and the pretence of “muggles in love” was turning out harder to keep up.

“My gut tells me something is going to go terribly wrong,” you said, plastering on a fake smile. Sebastian searched your face, before landing on something behind you. His panicked features made you turn around making out a figure. George. He scanned the area before taking a seat by the cafeteria as if waiting for someone. It struck you then.

“He is the scapegoat.” Sebastian cursed, turning to you to decide what to do further. If your guess was right, the dark lord’s servants would arrive in under five minutes. You shook your head violently. Seeing George under the imperius, under someone’s control, you didn’t think you could handle it not after…

“Seb we have to save him,” you said urgently. “We—”

“—we are here to observe,” he reminded gently. “I know you’ve warmed—”

“You don’t understand,” you rasped, trying to come up with a logical explanation. “If he is the one you-know-who uses, he will be constantly near me. It would blow my cover.”

“Isn’t that—” Sebastian said before swiping the area again. The time was ticking, the death eaters would be here any moment. “Okay fuck. If we’re doing this we have to act fast and loop in the Weasley. I’ll distract whichever bastard the dark lord sends in, you can sneak Weasley out and preferably yourself. Blowing your cover now would risk everything.”

You nodded along, but you didn’t want to leave Sebastian to his own. Maybe you could help him after getting Weasley to safety. Getting up hastily you strode towards George’s table. He looked up at you curiously, raising a skeptical eyebrow. Praying he would not question you, you whispered, “mihi revelare” transforming your face back so only he could see you.

“George, I need you to trust me, okay?” you rushed out, noticing the alarmed look on his face . “The dark lord’s spies are on their way and they’re going to try to put you under the imperius curse. Act casual and when I say run, apparate to The Burrow, okay?”

“What— but—”

“Please George,” you pleaded, giving him a pointed look. “I promise to explain later, just do as I say.”

Seeing him agree eventually, you let out a sigh reaching for his palm, giving it a little squeeze. He was on edge, you could see that, but he said nothing.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” George said abruptly, making you open and shut your mouth.

Something made you want to apparate him to safety before the death eaters could arrive. Mission came first, your brain reminded bitterly— you pulled back. If George apparted back without a reason, they would become suspicious— it could risk everything. Minutes were passing by, you had to react quickly. Nodding at him, you transformed back, moving behind a small lane which kept you hidden from bystanders but gave you the clear view of what transpired.

It was almost too soon that you saw Mulicber walking down the street, a wide smirk on his face. You watched Sebastian ‘accidently’ drop his drink on him, acting angrily. Biting your lip, you waited for Mulciber to do something, something that could make up for George running away.

Mulciber clutched his wand, ready to point it at Sebastian and you knew this was it. Dashing towards George, you told him to “run”, pulling him with you as Sebastian dodged away the expected attack. Shouts and screams filled the area as you concentrated on getting him to a safe place to apparate.

“Crucio!”

You didn’t see Mulciber pointing his wand at you, the white light took away your senses. Screaming as your body lit up in pain, you forced yourself to look towards George whispering “leave” as he watched you wide-eyed.

A lot of things happened all at once. George jumped in front of you, hexing Mulciber as Sebastian sprinted from behind him. You fell down on the ground in excruciating pain. Breathing heavily, your head zoomed; the cries all around making it difficult for you to focus. It was Weasley’s wail that finally caught your attention.

Mulciber had him under the cruciatus curse, ready to mouth something even more terrible as George’s body writhed in the air. You willed yourself to get up and point your wand at him. Sebastian followed suit, your combined power overpowering the death eater’s making him unconscious. You darted towards George, his arm bled and you could see him fading out. Whipping towards Sebastian, you saw him pick the death eater up before looking at you.

“Go! Leave for his house, you’ll be safe there.”

You didn’t need to be told twice, you gripped George tightly apprating for the burrow. Everything felt like a heavy haze, teleporting took away the remaining shred of your energy. The sight of The Burrow gave you some hope. George was heavy, and being wounded yourself, you trudged towards the door with all your might, frantically whispering to him to hold on. Knocking, you steeled yourself.

“Who is it?”

“(Y/n)!” you called out. “I’m with George, please let us in— this is an emergency.”

The door opened with a swoosh, Molly panicked on seeing George.

“He needs to be laid down, take this—” you said, handing her a mirror. “—call Stace— she would be free at the moment,” you uttered with some difficulty as red heads surrounded you. It was hard to breathe.

“What the fuck—”

“What did she do to him?”

Arthur was the only one who made an effort to clear the way, leading you into a silent room. The siblings followed as you laid him down on the bed as gently as possible. You flinched as he let out a piercing groan. Molly hastened in with dittany, but you stopped her.

“He’s been hit by the cruciatus, there might be some internal broken bones that will make it worse.”

“The cruciatus?!” Ginny exclaimed but there was a pop at the door driving the attention away from her.

Stace stalked decisively, as prim as you first met her, nodding when she saw you. You filled her in on the details, panting. She was one of the people who knew about your involvement, Dumbledore had insisted upon assigning an emergency healer to every team.

“Okay, I got this. But I need everyone out right now!” she ordered and turned towards you. “And you need rest. Remember the process I taught you?”

Registering your nod, she turned to glare at the people still inside the room. There was a general grumbling though everyone complied. Taking a last look at George who was quickly losing colour, you exited the room. Your heart thumped against your chest as the door slammed shut. You didn’t even have the moment to catch your breath as Fred took you by your elbow.

“What the fuck did you do?” he hissed. You snatched your arm away glaring at him.

“I didn’t do anything,” you said in a level voice. “George got in middle—”

“Like hell you didn’t!”

“Was it not enough for you to forcibly marry him?”

“I—”

“That’s quite enough!” Arthur said assertively as the redheads quietened down. “(Y/n), I see you’re injured. Come on, let me help you to a room. We can talk later.”

You nodded, taking the opening. Between your eyes itching and the sweat creeping on your body, you could hardly make anything out. The mission had left you overwhelmed, the accusations by the family affected you far worse than an average day. Was your upbringing the cruelest thing you had done? Was it enough to evaluate everything about you? Feeling of not being wanted was choking you, you didn’t want to stay at The Burrow anymore, you wanted to run away. Then again, you had to stay. You didn’t have a choice— you never had one.

Arthur led you to a room with twin beds, providing you with a medicine box he picked up from one of the drawers.

“Don’t listen to them,” he said before clearing his throat. “They— they don’t know and seeing George like that—”

“I understand.”

Arthur looked at you sympathetically. You forced yourself to give him a smile, digging your nails into the palm of your hand to stop yourself from shuddering. Arthur observed your injured shoulders.

“Would you like some help?”

“No, it’s okay,” you whispered through a heavy throat, watching him leave.

Muttering a silence charm and a lock on the door, you slumped. With no one noticing you, it was easier to assess your body and what you felt. Breath coming out in spurts, you started to work on closing the wounds that you had. You couldn’t fall apart. Not now.

-♡♡♡-

A knock on the door shook you up. You didn’t know how long you had been lying on the bed after healing. Getting up slowly, you mumbled another cleaning spell over your face just to be safe. Molly stood there patiently, taking in your sight as you opened up.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, concerned.

“I’m okay,” you answered curtly, giving a polite smile. “How is George?” you asked before you could stop yourself.

“Stace left about fifteen minutes ago. He’s asleep but would be up in about thirty minutes. Why don’t you come down and eat something until he does?”

“I don’t want to impose—”

“Nonsense! I’m inviting you, come on!”

“Mrs. Weasley I— I am not sure if it’s the right thing to do, especially right now,” you said, gnawing the inside of your cheek. Molly seemed like she was going to resist, but she stopped.

“Very well, would you atleast eat something here?”

“Thank you,” you gushed. “And yes I would love that.”

Molly left for a few minutes and came back with a plate of pasta. You inhaled deeply and thanked her again as she brushed you off. Sitting opposite to you, she watched the grounds from the window. It was night, the stars twinkled and a light breeze blew. The sound from windchimes soothed the room.

“I’m sorry for the unexpected circumstances you met us in,” she said in a low voice, after a while. You waited for her to continue. “It’s war and everyone is paranoid. I hope you know we, at least Arthur and I, consider you family. Thank you for saving George’s life today.”

You blinked, taken off guard by her words.

“Mrs. Weasley—”

“Molly, please!”

“—thank you, Molly. Hearing this from you, it means a lot.”

A stillness fell over the room, it was oddly calming. Pulling your limbs closer to yourself, you finished the meal in silence. There was a tap at the door before Fred entered, looking at Molly not quite meeting your eyes. You felt the strange ache in your chest return.

“He’s up,” he told her briefly, making her rise. You followed them back, scanning the house. It felt mostly like George’s apartment, warm and comforting. Your chest beat rapidly as you reached where he lay.

The door opened to reveal George was sitting up, the Weasleys surrounded his bed. He had a rare laugh on his face as Ron told him something animatedly. Standing back, you watched Molly rush and engulf him in a tight hug.

“You’ll strangle me, mum!” he fake groaned through a smile. Fred gave a smack to his head.

“Good, you deserve to be strangled,” he said glaring at him. “Scaring us all like that.”

“Were you scared for me, brother dearest?” George said cheekily, earning a slap on his arm. You found yourself smiling despite yourself. Ginny hugged his sides tightly as Molly pulled back. George wrapped an arm around her, kissing her forehead.

You were staring, you realised. Looking down at your hands, you heard their laughter ringing through the room. The relief and happiness in the air seemed contagious. Maybe it was because it was all so pure. George’s voice broke you out of your trance.

“Hey,” he breathed as you gave him a small smile.

“Hey,” you replied, unsure what to say, feeling all eyes on you.

“Come on, give them some space,” Molly said suddenly as the others collectively groaned. You wanted to stop her, but then again you needed to talk to him. And you couldn’t if everyone was present. They slowly cleared out and left, closing the door behind them. Walking to sit beside his bed, you saw him staring at your form. Your eyes fell to his heavily bandaged arm and you slowly moved your hand to touch it, feeling him stiffen.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, pulling back, but George stopped you. He rolled his eyes playfully, giving you a grin.

“I’m not made of glass you can touch me,” he said, making your lips quirk upwards.

“Maybe not glass, ceramic perhaps?” you said with a smile but your heart constricted. Memories of the fight were still fresh. Your mind returned to how you panicked when you realised it was George, how the curse burnt your skin, how he pushed you out of the way… “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you push me away? You should’ve saved yourself—”

“He was torturing you,” he fidgeted in his seat. “I couldn’t leave you there.”

“I would’ve been safe, I’ve been tortured harder than that.”

“No you wouldn’t, you would be in the same pain as I am. Was I supposed to ditch you like that?” he snapped and you found yourself scowling.

“To not let it upon yourself, yes.” You took a deep breath. “Mulciber wouldn’t have thought twice before using the killing curse on you. George, I know what I got into when I took this up. If something happens to me during a mission… I, I am okay with that. My dad knows this but—”

“Well I’m not,” he said tensely. “Being on a mission doesn’t mean you have to risk your life.”

“If it saves even one other, yes it does. I have made my peace—”

“No.”

“What do you mean, no?”

“Because there is always a way without having to sacrifice yourself,” he pointed out, sitting up straighter, hissing. “Because I don’t want you to die.”

Your eyes watered and you let out a puff of air, not wanting to cry in front of him. You needed him to understand that he had to be strong— with the kind of missions you were getting it was just time until… But you couldn’t argue. Especially not now. Feeling his hand interlinking yours, you looked up at him, slowly gathering the strength to explain further.

“I was so scared,” you said softly. “The mission was to find out who was being put under the imperius to keep a watch on them and seeing you… it threw me off… For a moment I really thought I would lose you. I don’t think I could’ve handled that.”

George held your hand tighter for a while, before breaking out in a smirk.

“So you do care about me,” he said, tilting his head while batting his eyes. You let out a wet snort, shaking your head.

“Of course I do you big goof!” you said, trying not to show just how much. “I have no idea why, but I do.”

“That might be the best thing I heard today,” he said dramatically. “My wife cares about me.”

You narrowed your eyes at him yet decided to play along.

“And what about the husband? Does he care about his wife?” you asked, grinning as he pretended to think.

“Very much so,” he said, a teasing look on his face though there seemed to be some truth behind his eyes. “I wouldn’t have tried to save your life otherwise.”

You shook your head, smiling at his tone.

“I should be leaving,” you exhaled, getting up. “The dark lord would surely send someone to check up on the apartment tonight and it’ll raise suspicion if I wasn’t there.”

“Wait— I’ll come with,” he prompted but you made him sit back.

“No. You’re injured and if they ask I’ll just say you haven’t been home since morning. They wouldn’t dare to come to the Burrow after.”

“What if they try something on you?”

“They probably won’t.”

“Probably?” he asked, making you fall silent. “I’m coming with you.”

“George.”

“I am and you don’t have a say in that.”

You exhaled noisily.

“Fine.”

Helping him get up, you helped him move out of the room getting anxious by the way he was tripping.

“George I’m not sure about this, you need rest.”

“I’m completely okay!”

The door creaked open and surprised faces looked up at the two of you. Fred was the first one to speak.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Going back to my apartment,” George answered calmly. Fred scowled as you tried to avoid everyone’s eyes. You did not want to agitate anyone further— the day had already been a whirlwind of emotions.

“No you’re not,” Ginny spoke up. “You’re injured.”

“Yes and staying here won’t change that,” George explained and your fingers unconsciously tightened around his waist. “Besides, (Y/n) would be there alone, it’s better to stick together right now.”

“I don’t think it is a good idea either,” you said in a low tone, glancing up finally. “But if he stays with me, I’ll take care of him.”

You saw Molly and Arthur nodding and released a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Yeah like you did today?” Ron sneered. Molly chided him harshly but he just violently shook his head going on. “Stop acting like you care about him. You’ve brought nothing but sadness from the time you entered this house. Just leave, no one even wants you here.”

Molly reprimanded Ron but you couldn’t hear that. Not above the drumming in your head. Biting the inside of your cheek, you kept a straight face and turned towards George. Your stomach turned but you would be damned if you let that show.

“George, you can come back a few days later after you’re healed, I think it’ll be better for everyone,” you told him, he started to object but you stopped him. “Your family needs you. That’s more important— and like I said, I’ll be okay.”

Pushing your nails into the palm of your hand, you slowly helped him sit on the couch despite his protests. He gritted his teeth telling you to stop but you didn’t want to acknowledge that. Patting his shoulder, you turned and stalked towards the door. Molly followed you.

“You should stay here, I don’t think being alone would be safe right now,” Molly advised but you shook your head gently.

“I’ll put both our lives in danger if I don’t leave for my apartment,” you explained, freezing as she hugged you. After a moment, you hugged back.

“Thank you. I needed this.”

And with that, you apparated.

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[luxaofhesperides]

stealing clothes

college au ft. domestic joongdok. i am so predictable.

also on ao3.

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Kim Dokja is extremely lucky to have Yoo Joonghyuk as his roommate. Not just because Yoo Joonghyuk is the campus heartthrob and Kim Dokja is the one who gets to see him everyday, and not because Yoo Joonghyuk is the perfect house husband, cleaning and cooking because he banned Kim Dokja from doing both. 

While both those things are nice, the best part about having Yoo Joonghyuk as his roommate is stealing his shirts. 

Not to do anything weird! They’re just… comfortable.

He even got permission! For the first few, at least. 

It all starts because Yoo Joonghyuk was going to throw out perfectly good shirts that have been worn and washed enough to become soft, the type of softness that even the most high quality shirts can’t capture. They weren’t dirty, or torn, just old. So Kim Dokja protests this and tries to get Yoo Joonghyuk to keep them, only for him to scowl and throw the shirts at him.

“You keep them then,” he said, then left. And Kim Dokja did. 

He’s well aware that wearing his hot roommate’s shirts might be (is) weird, so he only wears them on long nights when he needs some extra comfort to get him through his last assignments, or when Yoo Joonghyuk isn’t home. He never wears them when Yoo Joonghyuk might see. He’d rather die. 

And because his wonderful roommate is out for the night, no doubt at a party celebrating his latest gaming tournament win, Kim Dokja is settled in for a long night of reading, curled up on the couch in one of Yoo Joonghyuk’s old shirts. It’s long enough to reach down past his thighs, so he doesn’t bother wearing pants, and a blanket over his shoulders helps with the chill his exposed collarbones bring. 

The apartment is quiet, most people out or sleeping, and the latest update of his favorite web novel is a long one. And should he get hungry, there’s dinner in the fridge, courtesy of Yoo Joonghyuk who is very determined to get Kim Dokja eating more regularly. 

It’s been too long since he was able to be so relaxed and comfortable. No urgent deadlines, no projects to stress about, no tests in the near future hanging over his head like a guillotine. 

He’s so comfortable that halfway through the chapter he’s reading, Kim Dokja begins nodding off. The living room is gradually getting darker as the sun begins to set, and he sees no reason why he shouldn’t take a nap; his sleep schedule is fucked anyways, a little rest won’t hurt him at all.

The sound of the door opening rouses him. 

Distantly, Kim Dokja hears a lock click and a heavy sigh, but half-awake, he can’t be sure if it’s real or part of a dream. 

He opens sleep-heavy eyes to a dark living room; he must have been sleeping for a few hours, long enough for the sun to fully set and the moon to shine brightly. His entire body feels heavy and slow. 

Slowly, Kim Dokja sits up, the blanket falling off his shoulders to pool around his hips. He stretches his arms up above his head, arching his spine a bit, drawing out the stretch as he shakes off the last of his nap. 

Behind him, someone chokes. 

Startled, Kim Dokja drops his arms and turns to see Yoo Joonghyuk standing in front of the hallway, staring at him with wide eyes. He’s… shirtless. Kim Dokja quickly looks away. 

“When did you get back?” he asks, trying to break the strange tension that suddenly fills the apartment.

Yoo Joonghyuk is silent for a few moments before Kim Dokja hears him step closer. “Just a few minutes ago. I thought you were asleep.”

“I was. Is it late?”

The light turns on suddenly and Kim Dokja winces, blinking to clear the spots from his vision. 

“It’s only nine.” 

Huh. He wasn’t asleep for too long then. He feels the couch dip and looks up to see Yoo Joonghyuk sitting right next to him instead of anywhere else on their rather large couch. He’s staring at Kim Dokja’s chest, which makes him shift uncomfortably. 

He glances down to see what has Yoo Joonghyuk’s attention. There’s no stains or anything…

Then his heart stops for a solid minute. He’s wearing Yoo Joonghyuk’s shirt. And Yoo Joonghyuk knows it’s his old shirt because it’s way too big for Kim Dokja! 

Please don’t bring it up, Kim Dokja mentally begs, trying to send the plea into Yoo Joonghyuk’s head. 

“Isn’t that one of my old shirts?” he asks. Telepathy has failed. Kim Dokja changes to Plan B which is Fake His Death And Start A New Life. 

“Uh. Yeah. You gave it to me,” Kim Dokja answers, hoping Yoo Joonghyuk won’t think he’s weird and kick him out. He’s not willing to give up the best roommate he’s ever had! He just can’t go back to living with the worst people in existence, who treat him horribly and steal his things. He just can’t. 

“I’ve never seen you wear them,” Yoo Joonghyuk says instead of demanding that Kim Dokja move out. 

“I don’t wear them often.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes dart farther down. “You’re also not wearing pants.”

Kim Dokja pulls the blanket over his legs and tries to pretend Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t just say that. “Well, you’re not wearing a shirt! You’re only wearing…” he trails off, finally letting himself look at Yoo Joonghyuk. Those sweatpants look familiar. They look just like the ones he thought he lost months ago. “...Isn’t that mine?”

“...Our laundry must have gotten mixed up.”

That’s a lie. Yoo Joonghyuk is not one to mix up their laundry. They’ve never accidentally taken each other’s clothes. 

Kim Dokja smiles and Yoo Joonghyuk looks away, his ears turning red. “Joonghyuk-ah,” he says sweetly in a way that Yoo Joonghyuk knows is a threat.

“I don’t see why I can’t have some of your clothes if you have mine.”

“My clothes don’t fit you! And besides, isn’t it strange for us to be sharing clothes?”

“No. You should wear my clothes more often. You look good in them.”

Kim Dokja has no response to that. He freezes, then ducks his head, trying to hide his quickly warming cheeks. 

Yoo Joonghyuk, the bastard that he is, doesn’t let Kim Dokja hide. He wraps an arm around Kim Dokja’s waist and pulls him closer, hard enough to send him falling against his side. “Stop being so shy and wear my shirts while I’m around.”

“Shut up. Aren’t you supposed to be at a party?”

“I got bored and left early. I prefer being here with you.”

“Don’t think sweet talking is going to make me forget about you stealing my sweatpants.”

“Oh?” Yoo Joonghyuk runs a large hand down Kim Dokja’s spine, making him shiver. “What should I do then?”

“Nothing!” Kim Dokja hits his chest, but makes no moves to put any space between them. He is not going to be thinking about why. “Anyways, aren’t you tired? You should go to sleep since you spent hours at that tournament. Congratulations on another win, by the way.”

Smiling, Yoo Joonghyuk leans closer, forcing Kim Dokja to bend back a bit, putting more of his weight on Yoo Joonghyuk’s arm. “You were watching?”

“I always watch when you compete. What’s the point of having a popular gamer for a roommate if I can’t brag about him?”

Without another word, Yoo Joonghyuk collapses on top of him, crushing him against the couch.

“Hey!” Kim Dokja flails, then smacks Yoo Joonghyuk’s shoulder. “What’s that for!”

“You’re right, I am tired.”

“Then go to bed!” 

Yoo Joonghyuk tightens his grip on Kim Dokja’s waist, then nuzzles into his neck. The feeling of his hair brushing against his neck makes Kim Dokja shiver, not quite tickling him but just enough to have the sensation send sparks down his spine. 

He sighs softly, and feeling it against his skin brings a deep blush to Kim Dokja’s cheeks. “I’d prefer to stay here for the night,” Yoo Joonghyuk says. Kim Dokja grumbles about being squished beneath the heavy weight of his body, but ultimately decides to indulge himself and stay. 

They stay like that, sleeping on the couch, all through the night. They both wake with stiff necks in the morning, but Kim Dokja doesn’t mind at all when it lets him stay in Yoo Joonghyuk’s embrace a little longer.

Things change after that. 

Kim Dokja wouldn’t call them friends, per se. Not before That Night. Roommates, yes. Acquaintances who get along well, yes. Friends? No. 

But now, he’s not too sure what to call their relationship. They live together so they have to spend some time together, but school keeps them both busy and Kim Dokja often spends his time at the library with Han Sooyoung and Yoo Sangah while Yoo Joonghyuk streams and goes to tournaments. 

It’s more accurate to say they exist in the same space, than to say that they spend time together. 

They get along well enough, which is why they’ve renewed their lease together for another year, but somehow, after That Night Yoo Joonghyuk is suddenly… sticky.

He’s constantly making food for them. More so than before. He asks for Kim Dokja’s preferences instead of just silently handing him a plate?

Kim Dokja stares at the box of pasta in his hands. He doesn’t understand why he’s grocery shopping with Yoo Joonghyuk, but he’s gone with it for too long and can’t ask any questions now.

“Did you want pasta?” Yoo Joonghyuk asks, appearing behind him without warning. Kim Dokja jumps a little, then glares at him, annoyed by how amused he looks.

“I don’t know. Maybe. I can just buy instant noodles.”

Scowling, Yoo Joonghyuk grabs the box of pasta from his hands and adds it to the cart. “Absolutely not. I’ll make noodles for you later.”

“You can make noodles from scratch?”

“It’s not hard.”

Kim Dokja would marry Yoo Joonghyuk right that very second if asked. He also doesn’t understand why Yoo Joonghyuk is suddenly spoiling him, but he’s not going to question a good thing. He’s going to get as much as he can out of this, because who knows when it will end?

So he bumps his hip against Yoo Joonghyuk’s with a smile as they walk down the aisle, and asks, “Can we get ice cream?”

Yoo Joonghyuk does not answer for a long minute, then glances at Kim Dokja’s hopeful expression and sighs. “Fine.”

He really is getting spoiled.

Kim Dokja fully intends to use this knowledge for evil.

Another thing that’s changed: clothes. 

Since Kim Dokja didn’t complain enough about his sweatpants being stolen before he fell asleep, Yoo Joonghyuk decided he could just take Kim Dokja’s most comfortable sweatpants and wear them whenever he wants. So what if he looks really good! They’re still Kim Dokja’s and he will hold this grudge for as long as he needs to. 

He intends to steal more of Yoo Joonghyuk’s shirts as revenge, except he doesn’t need to steal anything. Because Yoo Joonghyuk just leaves his shirts in Kim Dokja’s room. So he wears them and tries not to get flustered when Yoo Joonghyuk stares at him each time he walks out of his room wearing something Yoo Joonghyuk left him. 

It’s a losing battle.

On the bright side, he no longer has to hide it. It’s still embarrassing, but he’s getting more and more used to lounging in the living room in Yoo Joonghyuk’s shirts. 

The hungry look Yoo Joonghyuk gives him is also nice to see. 

Kim Dokja may be the king of denial, but even he can’t lie to himself with how obvious Yoo Joonghyuk is being. Nor can he pretend that he isn’t doing this for that exact reason, or spending more time at the apartment to be with him. 

They’re both pushing in little ways, but it’s not enough for him to be willing to push their relationship out of the cloud of ambiguity its currently in. 

Before he knows it, half his closet is Yoo Joonghyuk’s clothes, and he has to go to Yoo Joonghyuk’s room to grab a pair of sweatpants to study in because all of them got stolen. The rude bastard really has no shame. 

“Why don’t we just keep our clothes in the same room?” Yoo Joonghyuk suggests after Kim Dokja complains to him about this. 

“Whose room?”

“Mine. Just take all your things into my room. I’ll make space for you.”

And so Kim Dokja suddenly finds himself sharing a room with Yoo Joonghyuk. And then sharing a bed. And then waking up with him to his absurdly early alarm. 

They’re not dating, and he says as much to Han Sooyoung when talking about this; she just rolls her eyes and calls him and idiot for not realizing what’s going on. 

She has absolutely no room to talk, being in a friends-with-benefits relationship with Yoo Sangah instead of just asking her out on a date like normal people would. 

They’re not dating, but Kim Dokja leans into him when they watch a movie together after rejecting a party invite. They’re not dating, but Yoo Joonghyuk kisses his cheek each morning before he gets up to make breakfast. They’re not dating, but Kim Dokja will settle into Yoo Joonghyuk’s lap while wearing nothing but one of his shirts to finish a reading for one of his classes. 

They’re not dating, but he certainly wants to. 

However, Kim Dokja would sooner pass away then actually talk about his feelings, so he bottles it up, greedily hoards all the affection he gets from Yoo Joonghyuk, and hopes he makes his move soon because Kim Dokja is starting to get impatient.

In the meantime, he’ll steal another shirt and pretend he didn’t do it on purpose just to get Yoo Joonghyuk to look at him. 

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Hermes

Hey guys, still doing what I can to stay healthy (and entertained) in quarantine. Staying still, keeping calm, and trying not to exert myself too much because of the shortness of breath thing going on. My lungs just can't get enough air it seems… 😅 Anyway, I've gotten a lot of suggestions on this series and I'm excited to keep it going. Just going to be a tad slow until I'm feeling better. Thank you for the support, y'all!

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes

Lucifer

Oh no… it’s everyone’s worst nightmare… Another Mammon, but competent. Devil help us all…

Had he known who their father was, he'd have never assigned Mammon to watch over them. Hell, he would have made sure those two never even met. They became a new handful for him to manage from the day they first arrived…

When even more things started going missing around the House than normal, he knew he had made a grave mistake… They were clever, quick, and skilled. About the best WORST combination for a burglar to be…

Worse still, they were fast on their feet. He would pretty much have no way to nab them on foot and always had to resort to his wings or magic to have any hope of catching up to them… At least Mammon usually gets himself cornered!

But, paradoxically, he also came to notice that the mortal had an odd honesty streak to them... Like, they’d steal but they’d always admit to it, unlike Mammon who would try to deflect till he was blue in the face.

Were they proud of their work, maybe? Or just didn’t see the point in trying to get away with it...?

There would be several occasions where they’d take something, sell it with Mammon, and then steal the thing back later just to put it back where it belonged, seemingly never with Mammon’s permission to do so either… 

Is it better that they returned the stolen item or worse because their actions went from just robbery to a full-on scam? Either way, it gives him headaches trying to deal with it…

He pretty much gives up getting the mortal to stop after 6 months, they are legitimately that good, but makes them swear to always put back whatever they take at some point. It seems to work out and he lets more things slide, but please someone get them out of here soon… 

Mammon

Soulmatesoulmatesoulmatesoulmate, or maybe more accurately “Partner-in-Crime” but that means pretty much the same thing to him anyway. 🤷‍♀️

He’s never met a person better at thievery than they were. The day they met, they managed to pick his pockets without breaking a sweat (or a finger) and that was it. He was in love.

They could teleport! Actually teleport!! Suddenly, NOTHING was off limits to him any more! Lucifer’s rare records? Easy. Levi’s secret safe? Cakewalk. The Castle vault?? Child’s play!! It was like they could steal anything they put their mind to!!

He didn't even have to worry about them when they made getaways because they were fast too, the two actually have parkour races through the streets for the hell of it!

On top of all that, they were wicked creative. He’d come up with a money-making scheme then they’d offer him all sorts of little tricks to help get away with it...

HE’D have never realized that they could turn themselves into rats in order to frighten and sneak past Barbatos, but they thought of it the instant they heard of his fear of things. They're a mad genius!!

The only real downside was they seemed to like stealing for the sport of it instead of for the money… so they always steal back whatever they took.

That kind of defeats the purpose of all that work in the first place, right? Ah well, at least that's more money for him.

These two pretty much became a walking menace to Devildom society- Sorry, not sorry.

Leviathan

Not another Mammon!!! WHY?! What did he do to deserve this?!?

When he started noticing that EVEN MORE of his stuff was going missing than usual, he straight-up flipped! Like, had the mortal not been pretty tough in their own right they would have been Lotan-chow. End of discussion.

… And then they started using their powers for good? Kind of?

Like, first off they would always give back what they stole, which was a nice change from Mammon. Annoying, but at least he didn't have to go buy replacement games or anything…

And then they started stealing him limited edition merch or tickets and stuff because they… liked him?? He guessed???

Why else would they go to all the trouble of swiping one of the five ultra-rare Kitsune Ruri-chan figurines from its original collector? He would have had to pay Mammon half his tail for something like that but the MC just brought it to him one morning because they could!

Is… is this love? Has he grown to love that which he hates?! What is even happening anymore!?! Who is he?!? 😫

Eventually he has to reconcile his conflicted feelings by dubbing them the real life Peony Phantom Thief, Jane and even making them a cosplay. Yes, they have to wear it when they bring him things. No, it's not weird, shut up.

Satan

He wants to be irritated, no - furious, that they keep taking his stuff… But he’ll be damned if they aren’t making Lucifer’s life a living hell right now. 😏

He's honestly not even sure how they managed to swipe half of the priceless portraits in the Castle (a considerable feat since there's one for Every. Room.) but they pulled it off in under a week. Barbs didn't even notice the replicas…

If that's not mildly terrifying, he doesn't know what is. Who knows what things he could be missing at any given moment...?

At least the mortal had the good sense to return his things, unlike Mammon, which gets them off his shit list for the most part. 🤷‍♀️

It helps that they’re also impressively well-traveled. They claim to have been across every human continent and sailed every ocean. Though he was skeptical at first, just hearing their stories eventually convinced him.

What sort of person has sailed the Amazon River, hiked through Arctic tundra, seen every major capital city, and still had time to explore the sights of the French Riviera?

One that has magical teleportation powers apparently.

Frankly, he could listen to their stories of the human world all day and still ask for another. He's told them that they may as well just write a book of their own for him at some point, it'd be beneficial to their poor vocal chords.

Asmodeus

Ugh! Really? Another thief in the House?? Wasn’t one hard enough to deal with?!

Honestly, stolen beauty products aren't exactly something you can just sell or give back, so unfortunately a lot of Asmo's clothes/accessories get targeted and he is NOT happy about it...

Around the time his favorite scarf was stolen for the third time, he was about to gut the mortal himself, but they struck a deal with him. They could nab his clothes SO LONG as they returned them with an extra little "gift."

Jewelry, perfume, creams, nail polish, etc. Asmo kept a running list and pretty much treated his thieving friend like a less moral version of Akuzon. Whatever he asked for, no matter how rare or expensive, they always got their hands on so who was he to complain?

He once decided to test them by asking for the Hope Diamond - which they got for him - but he made them return it after a week after the curse on it made him ruin a particularly intricate manicure so…

Like Satan, he's also pretty impressed with all the places they've seen. He's pretty traveled in the human world himself so they exchange travel stories all the time!

He may bother them to him out traveling from time to time. There are so many gorgeous and romantic places to visit in the human world after all, it's not like anybody could stop them from just… popping in to have a look. Right? 😏

Beelzebub

They learned very quickly that his food is absolutely off limits and after that, they were good.

Seriously. Beel caught them once trying to swipe a piece of pizza from his dinner and he nearly ripped their arm off for it…

But on the flipside, he also knows that he can go to them if he REALLY needs a snack and is short on cash. 

It's pretty comical watching the fleet-foot mortal running from angry demon vendors with a basket of stolen apples for their buddy… But he appreciates their enthusiasm! 🙂

Beel actually likes to hear about their travels too, but mostly what they've eaten. They can keep him enraptured for hours by describing all the food they've come across in the human world…

Watch out for the drool, though.

Since they can teleport, they'll sometimes pop up with a human world treat for him and the man internally swears his undying love for them every time...

Outwardly, though, he just smiles. 'Cause he's a sweetie.

Belphegor

They… they opened the attic door on, like, the first day they met… They didn’t even make it look that hard, they had some kind of knack for breaking and entering…

Seriously, imagine the look on his face when they just walk into the attic to say hello… He had this whole, “Lure and Trick the Human” plan all thought out then they pulled out a magic lockpick or something and BOOM! Freedom!

He laughed, perhaps a little closer to the edge of sanity than he was intending, and he tried to attack them but they were so damn fast he couldn't land a single hit!

Damn was it embarrassing when the others came in…

MC: "LUCIFER! LUCIFER!! There's a monster in your attic!!!"

Lucifer: "That's not a monster that's my brother!!"

MC: *stops midway through kneeing Belphie in the stomach* …. Ooooooooh!

MC: Whoops. 

It was a… rocky start.

After they settled their differences quelled Belphie's bloodlust he found that they kind of grew on him rather quickly… Something about that mischievous energy and how much they gave his brothers (minus Beel) grief with it.

He absolutely helps them with their plans if it will annoy Lucifer in any way. Occasionally, they'll even take Belphie out on raids instead of Mammon.

Turns out he's surprisingly good at distractions because all he has to do is pretend to fall then take a nap. People around him will legitimately believe that he needs medical attention so the MC can sneak through crowds undetected...

Of course, Mammon gets PISSED when they do this, though. How dare his baby brother try to steal away his perfect partner!! Get your own damn mortal, Belphie!!! 🤬

[londonalozzy]

Stop Pretending (TFATWS)

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Genre: Romance, Angst

Summary: The reader thinks she's doing a stellar job of keeping her feelings for a certain soldier buried deep inside. Turns out, all it takes is an observant new friend to begin the unraveling of her most precious secret (Spoilers for TFATWS)

Masterlist

Word: Pretence

Definition: A way of acting that is intended to deceive people.

Example: Saying that he's just a friend when he's really the love of your life.

Your POV

Being caught in the midst of war is something that I, (Y/N) (Y/L/N)  know all too well. As a war vet, former shield agent, and now Avenger I'm used to being centered amongst conflict. When the fight begins within me though, a battle between what I want and what I think is right, how will I react? Will I listen to my heart, my head, or will the winner be chosen for me?

Delacroix, Louisiana.....

I love my sleep, always have, always will. It's not necessarily the comfort of the bed, the quiet or even the rest. It's the fact that I'm at peace when I sleep. My life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, so anything that will put that off for as long as possible I savor.

I wish it were the same for a certain super soldier in my life. I look forward to going to bed, everything calms down then, and for most people it's the same. For Bucky however, it's when everything starts, the nightmares, the terrors, the seemingly unending darkness. If only I could take his pain away like he has with mine.

For the last few weeks, my life had, for want of a better word, been hectic. Hectic to say the least.

After the eventual defeat of Thanos and the loses we endured as a result, I thought naively that life might calm down a bit, that I'd have time to breathe, to live. How wrong I was.

It all began with John Walker being announced to the world as the new Captain America.

I was baking cookies with Morgan in the Stark family kitchen when it came over the radio. As that latest turn of events sunk in, my first thoughts were of Bucky, what that would do to him. Not even an hour later I had said my goodbyes and was on my way to help him get the shield back.

Since then even more had happened. We'd regrouped with Sam, busted Zemo out of prison which in turn ruffled the feathers of Ayo and the Dora Milaje. We came face to face with Morgenthou and the Flag Smashers, and finally witnessed the man who thought he could even compete with Steve, make himself judge, jury and most significantly executioner.

After that went around the world we knew we had to end it sooner rather than later. It couldn't get much worse than Captain America becoming a murderer. We got the shield back, which was a fight all in itself. Handed Zemo over to Ayo, to try and recompense for the distrust we'd instilled in the people who'd helped us so much. Then we travelled to stay with Sam and his family in Louisiana whilst we waited for Karli's next move.

This is where we found ourselves now, in the eye of it, the calm before the storm.

Waking up in the Wilson households guest room, I was greeted to the golden hue of the rising sun penetrating through the single glaze windows, and the melodic sounds of gulls on the hunt for their morning meal down by the docks.

Actually, no that's not right. What I could hear was most certainly not birds, and it was definitely not melodic. What were those boys doing?

Quickly and quietly I threw on the first clothes I could get my hands on and made my way downstairs towards the noise. What caught my attention when I discovered the source, was not the two youngest Wilson boys playing with our newly reacquired shield in the living room, but the super solider who was blissfully ignorant to it all, sleeping peacefully on the couch in front of them. I don't think I'd ever been so happy.

"Right you two, if you're determined to play Avengers all morning then I suggest you re-assemble in the back yard. You're gonna wake Bucky up," I whispered out in one breath, stepping between the boys, then placing my hands on their backs and tip toeing them towards the door.

"So what if we wake him up? It's gone 10am," Cass questioned in protest, pulling on his sneakers and jacket.

"Exactly! Which is why if you do as I say, I will make you the biggest plate of waffles for breakfast that you've ever seen."

The boys eyes lit up. "Can we have ice cream with it? Mum never lets us have ice cream for breakfast, and I'm sure there's a tub of Stark raving hazelnuts in the freezer," AJ clapped in muted excitement. "Oh, for God's sake.....Yes. You can have whatever you want if you get out of this house now and keep the noise down."

Once the boys were outside, I made my way over to the kitchen, stopping on the way to lean over my favourite senior citizen and make sure that he was still peaceful in his slumber. He'd never looked so relaxed, so at ease. It was a brand new Bucky I'd never seen before, a Bucky that had my heart pounding for him even more than it normally did. Not that he knew any of that.

Half an hour later and up to my elbows in waffle mix, I failed to notice my new friend and host Sarah making her way to my side at the counter, the huge smile on my face not going unnoticed. "What's got you grinning like the Cheshire cat, like I need to ask?"

"Bucky's sleeping. Isn't it amazing?" I spoke softly, bouncing up and down on my feet as I did so.

"And why is that?" She couldn't looked more confused if she tried.

"In all the years I've known him, I don't think I've ever woken up before he has. If his nightmares don't keep him awake all night, they normally have him up before the crack of dawn. I don't think I've ever seen him so still."

"Good answer," Sarah nodded in a hush, understanding why this meant so much to me, but not done yet with her morning interrogations, "Now on to my next question......"

"I'm already not liking the sound of this."

"Sleeping Beauty over there follows you around like a little puppy dog. He hangs on your every word, looks at you like you hung the stars or something. It's pretty obvious how crazy he is about you, so when are you gonna stop pretending that you're not head over heels in love with him?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Wilson," I smiled forcefully, making out like the waffle maker deserved my attention way more than the conversation I was being made to have.

This was all Sam's doing, without a shadow of a doubt. He'd tried to have this conversation with me on multiple occasions and I shut him down every time. He obviously hadn't given up like I thought he did, and decided to draft in his sister. He is seriously gonna regret it when I find him.

"Sure you know what I'm talking about. Sam sees it, I don't even know you that well and I see it. The only reason Bucky doesn't, is because he doesn't believe he could ever be that lucky. You're a smitten kitten." These Wilson's are all as annoying as each other.

Knowing I wasn't getting out of this one, I grabbed Sarah by the arm and pulled her right into the corner of the room, trying my best to keep this convo as private as possible. "Look, I'm not pretending.....I'm ignoring. There's a difference."

"Care to explain what that difference is?" Sarah spoke softly, but with a sarcastic air.

Turning to look over my shoulder at the subject of our conversation, making sure he was still safely in the land of nod, I decided to just be honest. Sarah was much like her brother. Once she wanted to get to the bottom of something she wasn't about to give up.

"I love Bucky, more than I've ever loved anyone...and that terrifies me," the rawness of finally being honest making my voice shake, and tears come to my eyes. "Nat was like my sister, and she's dead. Tony was the closest I've ever gotten to having a Dad...and he's dead too. Then there's Steve, Vision, God knows where Wanda is....Everyone I love, either leaves or dies. If I admit my feelings for Buck then I face the risk of losing him too."

"Do you have any idea how crazy you sound right now? He's not going to die because you love him (Y/N)."

Silent tears were falling now. I was revealing my deepest fears to a woman I'd only known a few days, and I'm not underplaying it when I say it was like a colossal weight off my chest, a release I didn't know I needed. "Believe me...I know, but I can't take that risk. I can't lose anyone else, especially not him."

"Let's just say for a second that you're right, that there is some higher power somewhere, set on destroying everyone you love. Do you really think ignoring your feelings is going to make them disappear?" I didn't know what to say to that. "Natasha and Stark died so that everyone could continue living, and (Y/N) you're not living as long as you keep this to yourself. They wouldn't want that for you."

"But what if I lose him?" I whispered with a choked sigh.

"Then at least he'll die knowing how you felt about him. After everything he's been through don't you think he deserves to know there's someone out there who loves him like you do?"

"Of course..."

Sarah's lips pulled upwards in a satisfied smirk, wrapping her arm around my shoulder and giving it a comforting squeeze, "then you owe it to yourself, and to him, to tell him the truth."

"Why do all you Wilson's have to be so clever?" I voiced in mock irritation, pushing her away from me and acting like I was annoyed she had gotten one up on me.

"I don't know," she thought aloud and with a cheeky grin, grabbing a plate to start piling on the long forgotten waffles, "I think it might be the sea air or something."

"Nah, it's in the genes," I chuckled quietly, grabbing my jacket and deciding it was time to get this conversation wrapped up. "I'll go find Sam and the boys for breakfast. Clear my head a little bit."

"You promise you're gonna tell him?" Sarah stopped me as I went to push the door open.

"I'll think about it."

3rd person POV

Once (Y/N) was out of ear shot, Sarah couldn't help but start jumping up and down in excitement, clapping her hands loudly as she did so. That went even better than she thought it would, and she was so proud of herself. Sarah Wilson could now add matchmaker to her resume.

"Coast is clear Barnes. You can open your eyes now."

(Y/N) had no idea what she had metaphorically walked into just minutes earlier, entering that very revealing conversation with her overly inquisitive host.

What drew Sarah to come down that morning was the sounds of both the front porch door opening and the smell of homemade waffles wafting up the stairs. As she entered the kitchen she was met with two sights. One being (Y/N), facing the counter and looking very smiley, the other being a wide awake super soldier who was just laying on the couch and staring at her, the sole object of his affection. Sarah could work with this.

Every time (Y/N) turned back in his direction, Bucky would close his eyes and pretend to be asleep again. He had never slept so soundly, so peacefully, thoughts of (Y/N) and his new friends filling his nightmare free dreams.

He'd initially woken to (Y/N) ushering the boys outside because she was afraid they would wake him up. He didn't want to disappoint her by proving her right. Besides, he liked just watching her move around the kitchen, completely unaware he was observing her the whole time. He had no idea about the conversation that was just about to happen.

After (Y/N) had left and Sarah had confirmed so, Bucky sat himself up, his body shaking with adrenaline and a look of complete shock fixed on his face. Had he definitely woken up, or had the whole thing been a part of his dream? Did (Y/N) seriously just admit that she was in love with him?

Bucky didn't know how to react, didn't know what to say as he looked up at a smug Sarah from his spot. All he'd ever wanted was for (Y/N) to feel the same way about him as he did about her. Now he knew that she did.

"You're welcome by the way."