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why does talking to my grandma feel like inhaling some kind of poisonous gas that makes you suffer so much that death would be a kinder fate
#she did something that triggered me very badly and she just wouldn't shut the fuck up and ughhhh#i'm sorry if it sounds like i'm the mean and ungrateful bitch of a granddaughter but it's true#and i just know that no one in her side of family (except for my wonderful mom who was abused by grandma too) wouldn't take my side#and it hurts because if it was up to me i would ONLY speak to my cousin because i love her and couldn't care less abt grandma and her mom#i mean#they don't like me#why would i make an effort to like them?#anyway it's way too much to put in words (esp in a foreign language)#so i'll just tag it#vent#so you can block this tag#but if you're reading this can you please tell me something nice? idk i'm really sad rn for some reason
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you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.
you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.
instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.
you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.
your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.
because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.
so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.
all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.
#spilled ink#woke up at 530 to write this lmafo#me in a cold sweat:#how do i be normal#edit in the tags:#hey so i've seen y'all talk about like ... wondering if ur ''allowed'' to relate#like if this is about X specific diagnosis#and when i first posted it i really almost labelled it ''please don't assume this is about a specific condition''#because as an artist i am often walking this line of discussing a symptom or discussing my conditions etc#and sometimes yes ! i do want to talk about an experience that is specific to who i am and my condition#but sometimes the effort of the post is about the EXPERIENCE rather than the diagnosis#because yes i am not neurotypical and as a result that influences my work but it is ALSO true that there are many reasons#why someone might experience this particular vague horrible feeling that you are... almost being CHASED by what you ''really'' are.#that you're outrunning your symptoms... that you're not really normal you're just sort of a mockery of a person#.... that's a really isolating and horrible way to feel no matter why you are feeling it. and the nature of this PARTICULAR post is that#it is inherently talking ABOUT that sense of isolation & of feeling not-deserving & of minimizing your own experiences to make urself#palatable for society in a way that others find easy-to-deal-with....#this post is about a certain experience such that my impression is there's a higher likelihood that those who relate#would have more difficulty thinking they ''deserve'' to relate - that it doesn't REALLY belong to them#bc often we are the kind of people who are SO used to being alienated and set aside and ''different'' that we AUTOMATICALLY assume#that things are not ''for'' us... they never have been why would it start now#we are the kinds of people to be ... ''too normal for X diagnosis but too symptomatic to be normal''#[or as this post points out... so good at ''coping''/masking/hiding it that we essentially conform to whatever shape we're poured into]#but i have witnessed others already say in the tags ''thought this was about me but it's about X so it can't be''#and im like ... of course it was about you.#art is not a resource that is diminished by greater appreciation .#you reflect in whatever mirror fits your frame. not just the ones in your bedroom. not just the ones i specifically give you.#there will be - and often are - times that i will talk about my specific conditions... but if you're reading this#regardless of why you're here... we are here together. holding hands through space and time. and i love you for carrying it#and i know you're exhausted. i am too. but i understand. and i see you.
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I've talked before about how the way people treat suicide can be unintentionally devastating to the suicidal person, but I don't think I really ever said how to avoid that.
Speaking about suicide in how selfish it "is" ("think about how you'll transfer your pain to your loved ones!") might seem like a way to put logical sense into the suicidal person, but, honestly? It runs the risk of massively increasing their shame and guilt about being suicidal. Suicide is not inherently a revenge fantasy or a way to "get back" at someone's loved ones, so when the suicidal person is treated like a criminal of a "crime" they haven't even committed yet, you can imagine how unhelpful that can become.
Instead, if you want to point out how cherished your person is, frame their relationships as something they can keep fostering.
"Your cat will miss you :(!!!!" becomes "you and your cat seem close, right? I'm sure it's beautiful having a close friend like that!" and maybe include ways that they and their cat are close and meaningful to each other, tailored to that relationship.
That's only one example, but when you shift the focus away from why that person should repent and feel guilty for being suicidal, you can instead focus on why they would live for that reason. See how you can frame that as a positive? Whatever is keeping that person tethered should never be used as a bludgeon, I think, because then you're taking away why they're living, the positivity of why they are here. Whatever they are here for should be remembered often and honoured.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#mental health support#suicide#suicide tw#(after this i'm going to rant about being told the unhelpful narrative i included above)#when i was younger the thing i was told the most was that suicide would only transfer my pain to others...#...and is that true? maybe. was it helpful? no.#why was that unhelpful?#because i started using that as yet ANOTHER reason to feel guilty and to lash out against myself...#...because that didn't magic away my suicidality like it 'should have'...#...and that was ~obvious~ proof i didn't care enough about my loved ones to keep them out of harms way...#...and it can be really hard not to do that (give advice like that) because if you're not the suocidal person...#...you have the luxury of thinking without the burden they are labouring under...#...you can see 'logically' and make assumptions about what the other person 'needs'#it's just frustrating because i know that people like this want to help but i worry about *how* they are helping...#...in the sense that i want their efforts to actually help their person and bring them closer
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"Why didn't they just fish?" in Epic: The Musical
I'm more active with the Epic fandom on tiktok than I am on tumblr (in the sense that interact with it more often), but one common joke/criticism I see there is that Odysseus and his crew could've avoided Polyphemus entirely if they just fished. At first I thought it was a funny joke, but then I saw people like, actually criticizing Odysseus and his crew for it. And it slowly stopped being funny, and now I'm just sick of it.
So, why couldn't they just fish?
Right off the bat, I can think of several reasons why.
Lack of proper equipment
Quantity
Time (Preparation, Longevity of the fish, the time it takes to fish, etc)
Proper Fishing Areas
To start with: Odysseus and his crew just off the bat don't have the equipment to fish. Yes, I'm aware they have harpoons as mentioned in "Storm". I don't know why they have harpoons, but they do. Harpoons in fishing are used against large, deep sea fish. Fish you are most likely going to see in deeper parts of the water that require speciality equipment that ancient grecian soldiers straight up don't have. And if you use a harpoon against a smaller fish, you're more than likely going to mostly destroy or otherwise damage the fish and leave less meat behind to eat. You're going to break bones, and fish bones are thin, fragile, and easily choke-able on. It's a waste of time and effort.
Then, what about nets? Those also don't work, because if they have nets on their ships, then those nets are not going to be fishing nets. They're going to be nets made as tools or equipment for the ship, which means the holes in between are likely too big to catch anything. Those nets also are likely not weighted so that they can sink to the bottom and catch fish; those nets are gonna float. And, those nets probably aren't going to be big enough to catch a mass haul either, and they have six hundred men to feed.
"Why not use their ropes to make fishing nets." Well, they could! They live on an island, and six hundred men there's bound to be someone who knows how to make a fisher's net. But they need that rope. That rope serves a purpose. Rope is an essential equipment on ships, even in modern day, ships will have hundreds to thousands of pounds of rope because they need it.
All rope has its breaking point. Rope frays, it snaps, it weakens over time. They need rope for the sails, for anchoring, if that rope breaks, they need to have the tools ready to replace it, and they can't do that if that rope has been turned into a fishing net. Plus, ship rope and fishing rope are entirely different things and have different thickness and material.
"They can just undo the net" no they could not! Making a fishing net by hand takes approximately eight hours. Those knots have to be tight enough to not loosen up when something pushes against it, unknotting a fishing net would take hours to do, and to do that every time they need to fish? It's just not worth the energy and time, especially if they have a low quantity of soldiers who know (and remember!) how to make a fisher net. Plus, undoing the net would just fray the rope and make it unusable.
Also, fish don't swim up at the top of the ocean. They're going to be found deeper down in the cooler parts, or in the shallows and reefs by the islands. And fish startle really easily. They're going to zip away and hide at the first sign of movement or sound. When I was little and my dad would take us fishing, he would remind us to be quiet so we didn't scare the fish away.
The fish in the reef are finite too. There are also going to be different amounts of fish in each area. Even on the river, there were some parts that were teeming with fish, and then spots that were completely dead. Odysseus and his crew would have to find where these spots are, and then try, with their ill-equipped nets and harpoons, to catch those fish.
Which brings me to my next issue: quantity. One medium-sized mammal like a sheep could feed, what, at least fifteen men. Fifteen fish could feed about three. In a family of four we needed to catch at least twenty palm-sized blue-gills in order for us to all eat and not be hungry after, and that's with other food with us too.
The amount of fish that would need to get caught in order to adequately feed six hundred men enough that they have the energy to row their 50-men ships -- which are about 50 tons -- would have to be industrial amount, they'd need to be catching fish every day. There wouldn't be enough fish on a single island to feed six hundred men. They'd need to hop from island to island in order to get enough fish to feed everyone, and then they wouldn't get anywhere.
And why do that when there's twenty, perfectly good sheep, right over there? Which is another thing. They're hunting animals on an island, a finite space. Fishing in a reef or shallows, the fish has access to the massive ocean right next to it. Those fish can get spooked away at a moment's notice and poof, gone. Meanwhile, there's only so much space that a sheep on an island can go, and only so many places they can hide. If it runs, we're persistence predators! We can just follow them, and corner them. We can't follow fish into the ocean, that's when we're on the fishes terms.
Fishing also takes hours. Which yes, hunting also does too. But the payout for hunting a sheep (can feed at least fifteen men) is far greater than the payout of fishing (could feed three, maybe four). Plus again, island; there's only so far they can go, and they have bows and arrows. The time it'd take to hunt the sheep and get enough to feed everyone would be significantly less than the time it'd take to catch fish for everyone.
In two hours you could not have caught a single fish, even in modern day (and I know this from personal experience). In two hours, on an island, you could have probably already caught a deer, or a sheep.
Preparation too. Longevity. Essential nutrients that fish do not have. There are certain fish you can't eat because they're poisonous, or they lack certain nutrients, or they just don't get big enough to feed even a single man. As I mentioned before, fish have these iitty bitty bones that are thin, sharp, and easily choke-able. Descaling and deboning a fish takes time that these soldiers don't really have; they're trying to row this great big ship back home. They can't waste effort on picking apart the bones of a fish so they don't choke or otherwise hurt themselves. Mammals have a ton of meat, and big bones! No worries there about choking or deboning.
Fish spoils faster than meat does. Yes there are all these preparations for food that go against spoiling, but still, those preparations would be for meat, veggies, fruits. Fish would need to be preserved differently, and if they don't they'd need to be constantly fishing in order to make up for the loss of stock. Then they'd never get anywhere because you can't fish on the open ocean without the proper equipment, that they would not have as ancient greeks AND soldiers. Like this is a warship, not a fisher ship.
Think of it this way: you're trying to feed six hundred men, and not only that, you're trying to get enough food to keep them fed for at least the rest of the journey or long enough to find another island that has food on it.
Would you rather: risk your hand trying to fish with shoddily, ill-equipped nets or harpoons that are not made for fishing, and catch maybe twenty fish within ten hours? And maybe six are big enough to feed one or two men?
Or
See if there are any large animals on the island that you can hunt, as well as any edible fruits or plants that you can bring back with you and do this in four.
Which one are you choosing?
Overall, there are just too many negatives in fishing that makes it, as a whole, completely pointless to do. Lack of proper equipment, quantity, time, and fishing spots are all things that come into play. I can appreciate it as a funny joke, and I did at first, but when it's taken as an actual criticism is where I go "hold on, have you ever actually gone fishing before?"
#epic the musical#epic odysseus#epic the cyclops saga#the cyclops saga#jorge rivera herrans#epic odyssey#odysseus epic#i know its not that deep but i am making it that deep. i am grabbing the shovel and i am diggING. im making holes. digging trenches even#ive only ever gone fishing on the river and on a lake and even with proper modern fishing equipment it takes HOURS to catch a single fish.#odysseus and his crew aren't catching shit. athena would've thought he was an idiot for trying to fish.#like there's a valid reason as to why its not considered even an option!!! its just not worth it in the overall scheme of things.#the amount of effort and time it'd take to fish enough to feed 600 men and keep them fed would be time and effort that could've gotten#them to ithaca by now if they had just gone and hunted. also they didnt know!! they didn't know that the cyclops were there.#they only realized that something was wrong when it was too late to do anything and they were already noticed by polyphemus.#'why didnt they just fish?' why would they do that??
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@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.
#my art#this is how I think theyd present themselves either in person or in headspace. the slouchers <3#sifs outfit is simple; the boots i always give them (but with star laces for funsies); loose sweater; simple pants#the pants are Meant to be jeans but isat doesnt Specifically Have Jeans so. theyre just Pants.#the sweater is slightly looser bc sif doesnt seem like a Form Fitting Clothes kinda guy to me but hes Trying to be more open#on particularly good days theyll roll the sleeves up or wear a sleeveless one methinks#even if everyone Knows abt the self-harm scars its hard to Look at them.#i also associate them being more open with them not wearing an eyepatch. esp bc hes the only one of the three to go without it#for mal (or 'ami' as i like to call it) i wanted smth reminiscent of a mourning outfit bc mal du pays means homesickness#and i picked 'ami' as a nickname bc ami means friend :] at least according to my basic translator. i dont speak french <3#ami's outfit being dark is also reminiscent of the inversion thing its got going on in canon.#ik the veil is starred in the original but i think ami would want the fewest reminders of home. on account of The Issues#(actually if i can come back to sifs laces sif also has issues with reminders of it bc of the memory loss but the shoelaces are His Choice—#—which gives them a form of control over it and they can keep it subtle or undo it if he wants. which makes it easier)#anyway. i put amis hair in an updo and smoothed the hat bc i think ami wants to be Unremarkable. Unknown. so it keeps its silhouette Simple#(it still keeps the pins. theres smth comforting abt them. they shine like stars and theyre not stars and theyre not Home. but theyre You.)#and i kept the long hair i gave loop. dont ask me why its so long when the canon hair is short. maybe their hair kept growing over the loop#OH and i drew ami in a side profile bc Silhouette and also bc i think itd make an effort to keep people away from its blind spot#andddd i think thats about it? plus i actually managed to keep this one within a reasonable timeframe.#if their hair changes lengths/the proportions change between drawings. no they dont 💛 peace and love and body craft#OH AND YOU FINALLY GET TO SEE WHAT I MEAN ABT SIFS BOOTS BC THESE ARE THE BOOTS I GAVE THEM ON MY REGULAR DESIGN ARENT THEY NEAT#i did actually try to give sif a different font but nothing Works for them like the pixel font. i cant explain it.#i think 'ami' would be a nickname that mira gives it. bc. shes Fantasy French. and its a sort of 'youre more than your yearning/loss' thing#me every time i think abt sifstem: yeah they just rotate in my head. nothing major#me every time i talk abt sifstem: oh hey im almost at tag limit again#au Good what can i say
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Okay so realistically speaking, giving birth is an excruciating, painful nightmare, and from the few Crocodad fics I've seen most people seem to prefer to write realistic pregnancy and make Luffy's birth a (physically) painful thing. Because it makes sense, it might be more relatable for some writers that way etc, and that's perfectly fine (like genuinely, it's not an issue at all, this is not a critique or a complaint)
God I don't know how to make this segue- Have any of you watched Ore Monogatari!! (My Love Story)? It's a great early 2010s romantic comedy series, funny as hell, super cute and sweet, would reccomend, but that aside. During the series the protagonist Takeo's mother gets pregnant and she ends up giving birth to Takeo's baby sister. And it's that scene, where Takeo's baby sister is born, that I keep on thinking back to whenever I wonder how Luffy's birth might've gone.
Takeo and his mother alike are Sturdy Motherfuckers. Like absolute gigachads, borderline superhuman, it's great and it's funny as hell. And because of that near superhuman nature... Takeo's mother goes to give birth at 4:15 pm. And she has finished giving birth at 4:16 pm. One fucking minute is what it took for this woman to bring a child into this world. An absolute legend
The screencaps do not do justice to how fucking funny this is in the actual episode
And so like
Like we know Crocodile's been through absolute hell, being an amputee and all. And as Domino told us at the entrance of Impel Down, we also know the man did not even flinch when forced into Impel Down's traditional 200 Celsius cleansing bath (or 392F)
So Crocodile has better pain tolerance than the average person. Like, you might have to put in a bit of effort to cause him actually hurt. So if giving birth to Luffy was an absolute cakewalk for Crocodile, not only would it make perfect sense in-universe and be completely in-character for him, but also
It would be objectively funny as hell
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Crocodad#I just. I just wanted to throw this out there. For your considderation.#We all love good drama and angst and the feels but also. Considder The Funny Alternatives. Considder The Comedic Potential#Croc's water breaks and Iva-chan rushes out to get like towels or something#They're out for like 30 seconds and when they're back the baby's already born. No screaming no shouting no nothing#Croc just complains why Iva took so long and tells them to help him clean up the mess#And Iva-chan's just like [Enel Face]#Like yeah that's the good fucking shit lmao#ALSO: Again we don't know if Baby Luffy was an itty bitty tiny baby or a Jumbo Sized Baby so like#If Luffy was like average size (or small) while Crocodile's a fucking giant then???#Like?? I would like to imagine and pretend giving birth to an itty bitty baby would be easier than if the baby was proportional to Croc#So the baby essentially just falling out of Croc without any effort could make sense. In a ''this is a shounen comedy manga'' kinda way#I have edited this post like 10 times after posting it oh my god why is this post such a trainwreck of piss poor phrasing and typos#Should've let it sit in my drafts for another 2 weeks clearly
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Can you share some of your favorite bat facts? I wanna add more to my lil arsenal of cool random facts. :]
Of course! Apologies for the late response, I saw this at like 1am four days ago, forgot everything I knew about bats, and then fell asleep and only remembered I even got this ask today. Anyways! Some bat facts :)
Common Vampire bats are some of my absolute favourites, mostly because of their ability to run on the ground! They can gallop with their forelimbs and take off from the ground by leaping into the air and catapulting themselves with their wings, which is speculated to be how Pterodactyls took off as well! Most bats cannot take off from the ground, and must be elevated to take flight, so this is pretty cool. Makes sense too, since they mostly feed from the ankles of large mammals and so need ground maneuverability!
Here's a video of a vamp taking off, and here's a video of one walking around! I think their skittery movements and lil' faces are just the CUTEST, but I know I'm probably in the minority there. Also there's a large dish of blood in the second video, so fair warning there!
All three true Vampire bats have evolved special grooves in their mouths in order to act as a gutter of sorts to funnel the blood into their mouths, but the exact arrangement differs between them. The Hairy-Legged Vampire bat has a groove along the roof of the mouth, whereas the White-Winged and Common Vampire bats have lingual grooves under the tounge! Speaking of White-Winged Vampire bats, they're the only bats in the world with 22 teeth, for some reason (likely no reason since the molars are vestigial), AND they have scent glands in their mouths that might be used to deter predators. Pretty cool stuff!
Finally, all three species of true Vampire Bats are cute as hell. Look at these lil' guys!!
(left to right- White-winged, Hairy-legged, and Common Vampire bats!)
#idk why the vampire theme these guys are just always on the brain. I love them so much#they aren't scary at all! being a hematophage doesn't automatically make a creature scary or bad in any way#No worse than being a carnivore. the blood to blood contact makes them vectors for disease but that's not their fault#besides so would being carnivorous if they didn't have to kill their prey most of the time lol#I love and appreciate these beasts. They have an important place in the ecosystem and should be respected. the best that can be done#to mitigate the diseases they are vectors for are vaccination efforts and improved accessibility to healthcare#but that's a wholee other discussion lol. hate that i feel the need to go on the defensive when saying i like an animal I'm passionate abou#ANYWAYS tag ramble over. thank you for the ask!!! always love an excuse to talk about bats haha#ask#raybytheway#bat#common vampire bat#white-winged vampire bat#hairy-legged vampire bat
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offers u alnst oc stats
#alien stage oc: ava#alien stage oc: nero#ava#nero#oc#ocs#20241003#so. i have a lot of thoughts about these#especially since i tweaked avas like three times#but i tried setting them according to the stats of the canon characters/what the aliens might rate them#esp the visual stat#looking at the characters sheets i think the aliens have a preference for ethereal looks (like luka and sua) but also like sharper looks#like ivan and hyuna (yes i think ivan leans into sharp)#till is more of the rough type so that's why i think his visual is rated lower#uh either way that's why ava's is so high and nero's is more on the middle (he had regular black hair before his season of alnst which gave#him less of a wild look so i rated him a bit higher than till)#ava is a tube baby so voice and talent are in her genes though mostly voice and visual were important for nova#talent would probably be higher if she didn't kill off 90% of her personality#she was not made for high effort dancing tho#NERO WAS THO LMAO#yeah uh ava's relevance/popularity/topic whatever the fuck it gets translated as is rather high since she's kind of the media's sweetheart#first love's smile and all that#nova put a lot of effort into her pblicity and it worked#nero's relevance is so high bc he's always up to sth and makes headlines everywhere he goes à la there's no such thing as bad publicity#i was struggling with mental strength bc on one hand he is fucked up (tm) but on the other hand he's not easily shaken????#like you could throw him in a pit of sharks and he'd make the best of it#let's just say mental strength must not equal mentally sound#his talent is on the average bc of this trait too like he's super versatile and spontaneous which makes him easy to put into different#situations that he might come out of successfully#uhhhhh yeah
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Posting screenshots from The Raggy Dolls every day until ITV puts it on ITVX: Day 76:
#ok stupid theory time!!#so Princess is supposed to be a princess doll right#but she looks nothing like the others#(even IF she was a princess doll that got ruined she'd still share similarities with the others like having remnants of a blue dress)#so i have two ideas as to why that is:#theory 1:#she was meant to be a special edition#but the machine messed her up as we are led to believe#OR theory 2:#(which is my personal favourite)#she was never actually meant to be a princess doll at all#what she really is is a test sample for multiple fabrics#that just so happens to share the same base as a princess doll#it makes sense#her dress (while patchwork) is too neatly sewn to have been tore up by the machine#not to mention her hair is completely different to the other princess dolls#and her sharing the same basic body as the princess doll would explain why she was on the production line alongside them#so in a way#she's a bit like sad sack#another thing to add to this theory#is that her speaking voice is different from the other princess dolls#(probably because Neil put in more effort because she's a main character)#idk i thought of this at like 3am#the raggy dolls#princess
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my fave form of what's basically friends to lovers is when two people meet and have all their own baggage and the connection they form together and love they have for each other forces them to unpack all that baggage if they want to make things work. the kind of relationship where you're forced to look in the mirror and stop avoiding ur own problems because that person forces u to confront all of them (and u force them to confront theirs, too) because the relationship will Not work if you keep up all these walls either from your person of interest or even from urself!!! and there's too much of something there to give up and move on because it's difficult
the kind of thing where there's romance but the real plot of it all is self transformation through loving another. like the focus is on two individuals w/ their own lives who come together and have romantic feelings for each other vs the romance itself being the plot.
and maybe in the end they don't even stay together! maybe it doesn't work out! but there's drastic change and an undeniable impact they both made in each other's lives that will live on. is changing for the better not love in its rawest form?
#( 💭 faun thinks )#this idea has been sitting in my brain for a while and i randomly got the urge to talk about it again#when i write romance this is usually how i do it <3#i love when characters are forced to deal w/ their baggage and unhealthy coping mechanisms because they love someone enough to#put in that effort#or if not that then the connection makes them realize where they're screwing themselves over so they can acknowledge and fix it#Characters. being forced to Think. to Self Reflect. to acknowledge things they're buried about themselves.#i love it#one example would be like. when someone usually runs away from deep connections but is forced to confront that fear because they get#attached enough to someone to genuinely not want to lose them or to genuinely not want to hurt them if they themselves refuse to acknowledg#how much they genuinely care for them on a personal level#stuff like that!!!!!!!! like yes bitch reflect on urself so u stop self sabotaging!!!!!!#make deep connections w/ the other characters through acknowledging ur shadow self!!!!!!!#compromise with someone u love when ur opposing baggages create conflict!!!!!!!#put in effort and grow as people together!!!!!!!!! learn and evolve with someone else!!!!!!!!#this probably says a lot about me...... and this is probably why i don't really like romance as a genre lol#i like when stuff goes deep and focuses on the characters as individuals instead of purely love interests that end up being rather shallow
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Family Trip to Morioh [part 1]
Jotaro heads to Morioh to do part 4, but this time he has a whole family that pesters him to let them go as well. Despite his efforts, he gives in.
A nice family vacation. What could go wrong?
#jjba#jojos bizarre adventure#noriaki kakyoin#jotaro kujo#jotakak#jotakakwife#implied anyways#my art#comic#trying to find which direction I wanted this to go was hard fjksksks#also I know Kakyoins first name is TECHNICALLY Noriaki#the idea Araki had with his name actually being Tenmei but everyone misreads it as Noriaki#i really like it#it makes me think that kak would intentionally introduce himself as Noriaki bc he’s so used to people getting it wrong#and bc he doesn’t make an effort to make friends#he just lets them call him by the wrong name#and only with the actual important people in his life does he tell them the correct name#so that’s why Jotaro is calling him Tenmei#also this is only slightly related to my Jouta and Jotaro comics bc when I posted those to TikTok#couple people mentioned Jouske and I was like OKAYYYY#and then BAM#angst#Jouske will appear lmao#later#idk when I’ll make part 2#maybe never#not as motivated to make it lmao
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police, banks, legal actors: never ever ever pay demands sent to you by text or phone. signed invoices only. get receipts.
collection companies: if we send a text with a sum and a bank number but no other information, people will surely pay
#this has only happened to me twice but it pisses me off so much#listen guys i would love to pay you i hate having outstanding costs but for the fucking love of god#make a slight effort to not look *exactly* like the other 25 scam messages i got this week#if i had a nickel#for every text i get warning that my 'payment' is 'overdue' please send 200 dollars to 'this number' from a sender that looks#vaguely like a bank#from an automated or stock phone number#i could probably retire soon#brought to you by someone who had to contact a vendor this week going hey hi hello why the fuck have i gotten a debt notice#and they said#we sent you an sms#and if i hadnt lived 8hrs from their office#i would have shown up at their front desk#and strangled them to death with my bare hands.
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need mastermind kokichi and gonta going mwah mwah
the angel/demon theming working together perfectly, matching the mask/reveal scene in chapter 4 only to reveal they were working together the whole time
the mind games, the clashing personalities and bodies yet melding perfectly together, in despair and in love, it's like
they were made for each other...
//on to notes like
**i am now also BEGGING YALL to read the tags
i'm still working on the designs but i know i have some drafts here hmm
>for their mastermind fits, i'm thinking gonta being all white , with his hair being more curled and really framing his face for that angelic round-faced look, plus his ahoge making a little halo to really top it off. one eye of his glasses are red for monokuma. with a black choker . nice fancy 3 piece suit that really accentuate his muscles, giving the image that he's not someone to mess with despite his angelic demeanor and damn, he looks good in it too plus an all white , n gold/red accented overcoat! letting the boy be dramatic and fancy and beautiful 2k24.
*more notes at bottom
kokichi's fit is a sleek, sharp black. but still comfortable to move and store things in. He can still be silly and dramatic in it but It's be really cool for his new fit to be purposefully cold, controlled and intimidating , a good contrast from his usual clownness to really grab their attention. //need to explain this one to be an 'oh! he was doing that to distract us' but more... oomf . hm He has a a white glove, and a black one to draw more attention to the former. black captain hat with devil horns, or just the horns? hm. plus the black cape for the demon bat silhouette. inside is one of those cool n kinda slutty but loose all black formal fits, like (ahhh i need to get pack into drawing or outfit scrapbooking but imagine with me)
**** gonta's black choker and kokichi's white gloves is supposed to a) show their connection via the colours lol. but also represent a dog on a leash deal. however gonta can take off and on the choker when he pleases, showing his willingness and equal choice in this operation despite it seeming like ouma has the upper hand [plus feeding into the 'ouma is controlling him!' schtick their classmates got going on, thus making them suspect him less and not believe him and kokichi are purposefully working together! boom baby
also, the kink factor. hehe
**** i do wonder if i should cave and make them both wear chokers matching the other's colour though. i like chokers , and colour symbolism
#ougoku#danganronpa#kokichi ouma#gonta gokuhara#they argue about how best to gut the others in the mastermind hq then grab the other and make out sloppy style#gonta being the.. only one able to do the command grabs but hey- the grape can trip and push him and be all damn guess this big oaf's falli#for me yet again despite his stature! and gonta smirks and calls him another insect based petname which he KNOWS ouma would bitch about#which he does and pins gonts down lower and aaaa they stare#and gonta closes his eyes as the purple dictator leans down#till he can feel his soft breath on his lips#and senses a smile a nanometer away from his month#k - put in a little more effort next time hmm#the grin on his face as gets up reminds the entomologist why his partner got the devil role#g- ...#g - that motherfucker....#writer's note: RAAAAAAH you THOUGHT#I couldve made them kiss but in the middle of writig i was like#you know what would be funny? you know what would be a dick move? hehehe#ndrv3#also random but they are both super cute and pretty here like i can really imagine#gonta randomly pulling back ouma's hair when he notices it's all over the place#while still talking#and ouma beng 1) shocked at the boldness 2) smiling none then less 3) resting his head in gonta's palm#then the big guy realises what he did and goes 7 diff shades of red heehejhebhjhfaclknufa.e#and the others wondering when they got so close and how kokichi could have man-ipulated him bc gonta cant think hur durr#or gonta talking about bug patterns or some tamer ento- shit while kokichi's chilling with him in his lab#he's sleeves are rolled up#and his hands keep running too push back his hair and he rambles. his eyes are bright and firm his hands busy as he works in the sunlight#ee this has leaked into my regular ougoku thinkings but eeeeeeeee#them being made for each other and their story was already a tragedy but them now having to make themselves feel despair on purpose but
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My controversial jjk take is that mahito should've remained the main threat/antagonist throughout the whole thing
#the thing with sukuna was that despite all his efforts to be a curse he was ultimately deeply human#and as powerful of a threat as he was that fact would never go away (which is why his ending was a sort of second chance/redemption)#same with kenjaku to an extent#kenjaku finally found someone to keep them entertained for a long. long time and not abandon them like tengen.#their reason to change was also deeply human they were very starved for company/connection in a way that most mortal humans couldn't provide#meanwhile mahito wants none of that#mahito's entire existence is an antithesis to every positive human emotion he literally is the only lasting permanent scars on yuuji#I feel like gege fumbled the human/curse dichotomy in the story the moment it became about people vs people#bc the story became way more focused on individual good and bad apples as apposed to the whole that it started out being about#I feel like gege bringing mahito back for the final conversation was him acknowledging this#gege could've still had gojo die by sukuna's hand and have the whole shinjuku showdown play out#but then it could've continued to be about the curses the story started out wamting to eradicate#sukuna was never the 'sole' only problem in the world he was merely an example of what this system makes#I feel like gege just gave up on those bigger picture themes for the purpose of shallower but character focused conclusions#which doesn't work for me at all tbh#the people who inherited the sorcery world might not be as bad as the original higher ups but they are NOT good#this is better but only just barely#jjk spoilers#jjk 271#idk i'm rambling
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i know its probably more rich american culture than rich japanese culture, but i think seto should give transfem mokuba a fucking insane and huge sweet 16 party
like maybe its not long after she comes out and he wants to make her feel special and give her some gender euphoria (with a side of a big old fuck you to the media) so he just goes all out, spending thousands on whatever dresses she wants, a whole crown to top her look off, makes it a private concert with her favorite bands/singers, holograms and light shows everywhere because seto kaiba would not be caught dead planning a party without them, and he runs himself ragged trying to make it as perfect as possible because he loves her and would do anything for her
(honestly she'd be fine with just a day out at the fair or something, but she wont complain about getting a sick ass party and private concert)
#im on a transfem mokuba kick lately#canon to me#mokuba and yugi transfem and transmasc solidarity#i also love transmasc seeto#but i like cis seto being the biggest supporter and ally and putting a lot of effort in#i think its sweet#her worrying over telling him but hes just like#'why would i care what gender you are as long as you're happy?'#and she just breaks down crying cuz she loves her big brother#also for those who dont know what a sweet 16 is#cuz idk if other places have them#its something that is usually more for girls and is basically like a 'coming of age' party type thing#just a day to make them feel special#usually its more of a middle class/rich thing tho i think#and i remember there was a whole show on tv showcasing the craziest sweet 16s#they get fucking WILD#anyway#yugioh#seto kaiba#mokuba kaiba#devo speaks
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Just finished dndads s2 finale and feeling very normal about all the characters
#I mean gothcleats was nice#but why did Freddie decide to rush Taylor at the end#though it was in character for Taylor so🤷#just felt a little off is all#also Normal just not being okay at all makes me feel like we need a spin-off#that or something to do with his 20 years away#I’m excited to see what they’ll do for next season#Freddie or Beth as one shot dms would be great#the winning method would just be appealing to them via references#puppies#and cool stuff#point is: I’m sad about Normal curious about gothcleats married life#like is Jerry aware that his father is from the past#does he know his mother can literally send someone to hell#also what happened with earth and faerune#did they switch everyone#was there an effort towards rehabilitation#so many questions#dndads s2#dndads spoilers#dndaddies#oh also#I love doodler and I need them to appear again
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