#why werent u doing it with me?
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a little vent. it absolutely sucks to see the person you once deeply loved, love someone else. it hurts to see them make someone happy the way you really wanted them to make u 🧘♀
#it just gets me thinking#what was not enough about me?#you gift her flowers and write her beautiful poetry now#but god back when u were with me u couldnt even call me pretty#so if u are capable of affection#why werent u doing it with me?#like what was wrong with me in ur eyes?#:(#i just feel so not enough when this happens#like theres something truly lacking abt me#all the boys i loved#hesitated to put effort in our relationship#but now theyre all happy in a relationship#where they are publicly giving their girlfriends affection#their gfs being spoiled with dates and flowers#god#perhaps there really is something lacking about me
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Day 27: Eyes
Previous/Next
(prompt list here!) + bonus sillies
#do yall think narinder tried fighting them and why is the answer yes#cat was a little weary of gods that werent his family can you tell#mystic seller is questioning the choices of the Red Crown a little#like dude. can u pick bearers that like me??? maybe??#and the red crown is like#maybe they would like u better if u stop destroying the entrance to their domain. have we thought abt that big guy?? huh??#cotl#my art#cotl fanart#cotl narinder#bishop narinder#cotl lamb#cotl mystic seller#cult of the lamb#drawtober#cotltober#cotl drawtober
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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glass animals (you know my favorite band of all time whos entire tracklist i have memorized by heart and whos been my top streamed artist for 4 years in a row) being deeply associated with a certain shitty content creator and his equally shitty friends bc of their most popular song is a hell that the yaoi devil designed just for me
#finn txt#glass animals#and the worst part is its not even just heat waves they got helium and honestly like the entire dreamland album aesthetic too like#never gonna forget the time my friend saw me listening to heat waves on spotify cuz of discord and was like “OMGGG FINN CAUGHT IN 4K-#ARE YOU A [REDACTED SHIPPER] /J WHY R U LISTENING TO THAT“ DAWG BECAUSE ITS THE MOST POPULAR SONG FROM MY FAVORITE BAND#fork found in kitchen#for the record i was ahem. deeply involved with this fandom#and they said that when it was socially acceptable to do so bc they werent openly horrible people yet
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post-beginning of accomplice ending [anime/ova timeline, so after the burning but long before souji leaves inaba] where souji & the IT are met up at junes still trying to figure out the "real culprit" but souji's phone rings & he looks down & sees its adachi & his brows raise then knit & he looks conflicted for a moment & he quietly excuses himself & the others just assume its dojima calling about nanakos condition or asking him to run an errand so they dont rly give it a second thought, sure ok souji.
but after Quite a long while, souji's still not back & whereas the others are engrossed in talking abt namatame with naoto, it rly nags at yosuke bc he has a bad feeling... what if souji's still not back bc he received some rly bad news? did he have to leave & forgot to tell them? so he tells the others hes gonna go look for souji & see if hes alright or whatever
so he gets up & looks around junes in some of the quieter corners nearby until he spots the bathroom & hes like huh. i wonder if he took his call in the bathroom? or maybe he had to go afterward. so he decides to peek his head in (it's stalls, so theres a sink/open area) & hes abt to say soujis name to see if hes in 1 of the stalls (would be creepy to look down & lean a little to see the shoes in the stalls, after all. & what if he gets the wrong person who just has similar shoes?), but then he hears a choked sound that sounds ODDLY familiar... but, what—
& then he hears it again, this time a bit different. it's more a whimper or smth of that nature... alongside some quiet sound of skin. & he'd recognize his partner's voice Anywhere. was he... in here...??! & he gets flusters for a second bc the reality of walking in on his partner doing smth like that is- i-is... & what sort of phone call couldve led to this? was the phone call a Ruse to get him to leave & have some private time to do... this? his head was too scrambled... & yu sounds far better than he had any right to. he could hardly think abt the implications of the warm feeling in his stomach at the sound of his partner's noises.
but thats when he hears it. souji letting out a strangled hiss of "adachi-san, i—" & his blood goes absolutely cold.
#GET PSUEDO-NTRED BOY ! 💥💥💥 to clear up any confusion adachi called souji to do phone s*x w him. exact details r left up to u.#there was also a ver of this where adachi was there ACTUALLY fucking him but then i realized he could get in trouble for s*x with a minor#whereas this way its kind of left vague whether or not yu was getting off to the THOUGHT of adachi or if adachi was on the phone w him.#but the latter is rly implied to yosuke bc of the phone call. bc why would souji randomly go to get off in the middle of a serious meeting.#anime name used since this is Specifically the anime timeline. 'why?' u ask. the burning happens at an earlier date there.#like the mental idea went phone s*x -> oh wait theyre in inaba what if he walks in on them ACTUALLY fucking -> no wait hed get arrested ok#phone s*x it is then. we've come full fuckin circle boys !#uhhh hm this is a longer post than normal maybe i should have a Writes tag? nnnot that i.. that i write often nor is this a Fic.. uh..#my writes#overgrowth.text#suggestive text#adashu#adasou#theres souyo here too but shhh its getting overridden by Fuckass Adashu. but the souyo is very much There. yosuke loves him. whether or not#souji felt anything for yosuke before abandoning everyone to ally w adachi is up to u. maybe he knew yosuke wouldnt admit his feelings.#i say pseudo-ntr bc soujis getting taken from him by some weird gross adult but they werent dating wompwomp. not true ntr. yea yea boo me.
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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#to be a little salty over dsmp lore in the year 2024:#i only really trust manifolders and og cjack fans to actually do this lore the justice it deserves#already im seein ppl make it only about tommy and tubbo and not even acknowledgin jack... just like the bad old days iguess#like this was why i still know all the ppl who were constantly in the tag & stuff. we had to stick together because everyone else+#mischaracterized our guy to hell and back (< lemons fic reference?? lol lmao thats my most underrated one tbh)#like first of all also give cc jack his flowers for actually loggin onto the server in the first place?? inciting incident much?????#secondly if you MUST make it about ctommy at the very least acknowledge the complex relationship bitterduo had#(oh wait u guys werent actually paying attention and just painted cjack as a villain and bully.... whoops i forgor... lol. lmao even.)#< like i said still salty. dont take me serious discoursin i dont give a fuck what you do!! but god.#this is jsut a tag ramble for the cjm fans tbh ik nobody else is readin this shit lmao#citric complaints#< my vent tag for future reference. i dont rlly use it much
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scooby dooby blu where are you
im in link click and orv hell xD
about to visit arcane hell soon...
where are you 👀
#bluris answers asks#anon#have a nice day~#40% through novel now hfjklansd#im so sad about the names being dokja kim instead of kim dokja in the eng novel publication like damn#insert the pingu meme where its like well now im not doing it (buying it)#and also the webtoon iirc idk i lierally read the latest ep yday but i dont remember#mister sounds so wrong btw like. why yall change it jus tkeep the honorifics sigh#im also unwell about link click live action#i am debating if ishould rewatch all of link click and the live action with chinese subtitles to see if i can practice my chinese xD#also i seriously considered buying the taiwanese orv version and getting my chinese to be good enough to read it#but lets be real besties idt i can read it unless it has pinyin/zhuyin ahaha....#or i just have pleco next to me...it would take me like 10 years to finish reading it LMAO#hm. i woudl buy it tho if there was an audiobook with it then i could def read along#starting my rewatch of arcane now + s2 later#i forgot the eps werent 20 min oops#gonna take me longer than i thought lmao#anyways if u read up to here ty haha
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some of the talon skins are so ugly it makes me a lil mad
#they look so corny to me im sorry#i mostly mean the mirrorwatch ones cause they feel so extra in comparison to the other canon talon skins we have#they feel very like ...extra like i know talon is edgy overwatch but compared to widow. doom. bap. and sigma they dont fit at all to me#i know its an au and thats all i know but its just too much goin on#brigs pisses me off bad like i get it ur edgy omg why do u look like that#reins is fine. tracers is ugly. zarya idek why shes here. ana is hot. mercy is too much#sombras been ugly unfortunately they werent nice to her with that one </3#kae.txt
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roundup of random witch whatevers.. ¯\_(●♢⚬)_/¯ cinderella arkco au doodles for no reason
#witch hat tag#orufrey#dont be like the person who asked me why i draw so much. im autistic. im possessed#i usually wake up primed to fall into the serious & haunting aspects of orufrey contemplation realm with my whole restless heart#and then late at night it's like. what if they just hugged lol what then#i like my last post better...........roundup posts truly for the Whatever the heck else witch hat i drew in between Main witch hat drawings#like werent you going to do new things. werent you going to use COLOUR. this was supposed to be the month of COLOUR u freaking brushbug
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do you have any tips for like... paneling? your lil comics, if i could call them that(?) with Dave are well made (to me at least) and I'd like to get into making comics! or if you know any resources that helped you. :') - sincerely, a beginner.
sorry to be answering this so late, wanted to try and give some kinda proper advice haha so what i do is i just make my posts as long as possible so that it takes up like all of ppls dash, this means they are forced to look at it and engage with it! no ok but for real, first off this is just how i do things and by no means any sort of proper tutorial or anything, most of this is prob kinda basic and intuitive stuff, but its good to be reminded of the basics and to notice why you might be doing said things intuitively so you can start doing it intentionally so how i approach things is by picking a focus panel whats the Punchline/Emotional pay off for the page/comic? and then i try and build the rest around that for actual Comics not every page is gonna have one of those ofcourse and thats fine i tend to often have to many focus panels,,,, lmao(which is why my posts end up so long,,,,) i try to group similar panels and make them smaller, it saves space, makes it so the attention goes to the more unique panels and makes things feel more sequential(or u can do like me and have too many similar panels and think, what if i just make it an animation, its just a few extra frames right,,,?<- clueless(i have done this twice now,,, the second is still a wip,,, )) heres one of my posts deconstructed using all this, id do more of them but i dont wanna make this even longer asdsd, but i think its pretty obvious to pick up on once you know the formula lol
after that i think its mostly just clear composition and flow so things dont get confusing(like what panel(also applies to text) youre suppose to read next and such(thats easier with this cus its usually just individual panels and not full pages)) edit: oh and resources that helped me, i mostly just looked at other comics, paying attention to how the paneling was effecting the story and mood! some comics ive looked at for paneling inspo are houseki no kuni, how they play with contrast and stuff, idk theyre all just very striking, i looked at ajin at some point as well for help with some action stuff, most action shonen are also great for that 2 so yeah, just find a comic scene that has the same vibe that youre trying to get and see how they did it, finding a few and comparing and contrasting what you feel works best thats my thought process while doing stuff at least! i hope this helps at least a bit haha
#another thing a teacher told me at some point is to make things Look Intentional? in this case they were referring to comic panels#and how if you have one of those classic slanted dividers(i dont remember what theyre called.. n am 2 lazy to look it up)#make sure its not just slightly slanted as then often gets misread as a mistake like you just messed up a straight line#so basically go big or go home#like art has no rules so u can do whatever you want and different things work better depending on the piece but its advice i try and follow#also paneling for ask blog stuff is a lot easier then actual comics its prob a good place to start to practice this kinda stuff#timing is also important? timing is why im doing 2 animations.......#they just werent working as panels cus they felt too slow? cus it needed 2 many panels that were all quite similar#so they took a lot of space and took 2 long to go through#which is why i was like ill just animate it!<- does not like animating#the things i do for this blog u_u#rambles#advice#anon#art
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pont pont vesszőcske
#this year just feels weird. im selfishly not saying ~rawr so awful or tragic#because there are things ive achieved this year that im proud of and that were long due#im so happy i did that masters course and im so glad i landed a job that pays well even though its torture on my nerveous system#my mind is forever free from academic guilt and pressure#and i can afford things that nourish my soul and body when they werent accessible before#so this is the firm acknowledgment of the fact that im lucky and have an objectively good life#part of which i was given and nice parts i actually worked my ass off for#and for the first time in my life im at a stage where its all … freestyle?? lmao like ok girl you did the things now find new things to do#and theres none hehehe just human connections that are harder to build than a cv or a thesis defense and doesnt only depend#on the effort i put in#but also on how the stars and planets are moving or idk#plus i just remembered how my sister told me that the reason why i kept procrastinating on my diploma was bc it was an excuse to not grow u#and now the universe is kicking my ass all year to make me realize that i need to change and grow and build a life i could settle in#because this bitch!!!! took 3 of my 4 closest friends and made them move countries and get married or in one case just simply get over me#and not to make everything about me but its how humans work okay so ofc im internalizing a lot of other tragedies as new signs#from the universe screaming at me#to get away from the parasocial bonds that give me so much joy but also affect me too much#like LAUGH AT ME all you want but ive been wanting to see ts live since 2009#and the only thing that kept me up in exam season at 4am was me and my friend sending outfit inspos to each other#like its silly i know but when that show got cancelled and i was hysterical i kneew the lesson was to grow up and stop investing so much#into lovely but also relatively short moments of my life#because i should be able to#look forward to other things after graduating than the eras tour but i WASNT okay#and i dont have to elaborate on how liam’s passing has been affecting me/us so i wont#but fuck that was a cruel reminder - to make things about me again- that though i can talk about this with friends on my phone#until my retina burns out or melts or idk what retinas do#i still dont have ANYONE in my phsyical proximity who would understand this pain and thats partially on me#and then my 85+yr old grandma got covid AGAIN for the 3rd time and my god she got better but in case i forgot she wont be with me forever#and i reached the tag limit so thats it anyway weird year very weird dont know what it wants from me#to the void
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sorry read this thing where someone was like ‘i prefer show colin bc in the book he was borderline abusive’ and someone in the comments was like ‘lmaoo you would hate dark romance then’ like …….. ok …….. thats probably why they are not reading or talking about dark romance .
#have fun with ur dark romance but my god do u guys need to shut up sometimes#let someone critique the misogyny in the book characterization of the male bridgerton leads for gods sake#jordan talks#it just feels like ‘oh u cant handle THAT? thats Nothing to Me’#like i may be a desensitized horror enjoyer but im not gonna make fun of someone else for being squeamish about it ???#also just like why say that. they werent talking about that.#they were talking about what is basically a modern bodice ripper romance. different kind of book my guy
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and like sidenote if i can make a post with a target audience of zero. i feel like fhsy was to d20 what aa3 was to ace attorney but aa3 pulled it off better for reasons i cannot explain
#it is. the amatonormativity#^ guy who was REALLY pissed about the sandra lynn stuff#like yknow that bit in the first ep where brennan is like 'oh this drama is going down' and so like the pcs investigate it#probs bcos they think itll like kick off their new quest#and then it turns out to be like. petty romantic drama.#thats kind of a microcosm of the entire season for me#not to say there werent parts i liked (looks at the picture of baron i printed out and hung on my wall)#(and most of the leviathan stuff was brilliant and ayda is a role model for me)#but its all so tied up in the rest of that shit that i dont rlly wanna rewatch it the way ive rewatched fy 6+ times#likening this to aa3 bcos of the rlly noticeable uptick in romantic content in it compared to the rest of the trilogy#like prior to that all that rlly comes to mind is like. 2-3 and pearl's shipping shenanigans and larry existing#but in aa3 both mia and phoenix have past lovers who play big parts#theres a married couple theres tigre and viola (who sidenote i ENTIRELY missed as romantic my first playthru. i am dense)#there's the business with fawles#like it felt like romance played a large part in every case in aa3#where even when it came up in 1 + 2 it was usually ancillary (2-3 excepted but like. ppl regard that case as a fluke in most regards)#you COULD argue that maggey and adrian also inject some romantic presence in the story#but idk it just doesnt feel as central or prevalent as in aa3#like i saw a post abt adrian and celeste being cousins in the aa anime being not just the sailor moon 'best cousins' thing#but like. reinforcing the themes of familiar devotion as aa2's core. and that was rlly foundational to my understanding of the game#even tho its a change that comes from an adaptation#whereas you Couldnt make that change in aa3 without it changing A Lot of shit#where was i going with this. shrug.#the zelda and tracker relationship drama was entirely manufactured as punishing the pcs for not centering npcs#whose relationship issues were ancillary to the overarching plot they were focused on and which hadnt rlly been brought up beforehand#'why didnt gorgug call zelda :/' do u want zac to pause the kalina mystery to roleplay good relationship communication with the dm??#like its one thing looking at sy as a narrative but looking at it as a ttrpg campaign with limited time and a need to split character focus#i dont see what it did for the story besides give gorgug something to angst abt. didnt rlly feel like there was character growth or an arc#sigh. MANDATORY DISCLAIMER its been at least a year since i watched sy and longer before that since ive played aa3#but at the time my feelings were strong and have only calcified. romance as a theme in something not generally abt romance
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Being the only person in a group chat who was not invited to the function is the most common experience of my life and its insane at 25 years old this is still happening
#i dont know why this is my good faith theory but i wonder if people think that i just wont enjoy being out#DONT U WANT A DESIGNATED DRIVER? DONT U WANT TO GO TO SHOPPERS DRUG MART?#noop nooping#like when im there people seem to enjoy my presence. i have no real reason to believe otherwise#do they assume i dont want to go? i was told i would be messaged and i wasnt#do they want me to invite myself? because im not doing that thats rude. im not inserting myself into other peoples plans#the only thing i can think of tht would deter ppl from inviting me is i need clear time and place and how to get there and thats#historically been difficult for me#person making the plans said they would message me and they didntttt... may or may not reach out . someone else said they werent having a#good time so i dont know
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it's controversial to say this i guess but i genuinely believe last life was the least interesting life series season and youre all lying to me about enjoying it
#im not actually serious you can like last life i just dont get it but slay go off king#i dont think wild life was the best by any means#but ppl constantly be comparing it (and all others) to last life and im like... they arent trying to do the same thing tho?#like. i personally think my fav might be secret life or limlife and those were both pretty gimmick-heavy and quite silly with lots of-#'meaningless' deaths#but like. im not a fucking reddit user? i dont care if people get blown up or break the rules? its rule of cool.#everyone loves last life and *i cant even finish it im so god damn bored*#in the end i dont think it really matters / i dont really care#but calling wild life 'content slop' or low effort is INSANE (yes ive seen ppl doing that) when the CCs put so much fucking work into it#it pisses me off actually#like no it isnt just meaningless content do u know how long those mods take to make??? come on#and being unnecessarily vile towards popular artists for... being popular and enjoying the series they help create? gimme a break#this is vagueing a particular blog but ive seen the same takes several times so idc#anyway the point at hand- last life has the most Drama and Roleplay i guess? thats why people like it i think#but to me its just... there.#third life was so much more compelling to me and was the First to do the Thing so it gets a pass anyway#double life was cool in terms of balancing roleplay gimmick and story but shouldve had two rows of hearts. but its still fun#limlife took everything good about last life and made it 10 x more interesting#secret life fucked hard idc what anyone says#wild life was goofy and fun and crazy and awesome and i loved it even tho i was apprehensive at first#yeah the gimmicks kinda got in the way of Drama and Story but... they werent really aiming for drama and story were they?#except for the fact that JOEL ATE !!!! AND LEFT NO CRUMBS!!!#erm anyway if youre reading this youre awesome#the only thing i would change about the wild life finale would be the snails. cause snail deaths are kind of boring sorry. but i get it.
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