#uhhh hm this is a longer post than normal maybe i should have a Writes tag? nnnot that i.. that i write often nor is this a Fic.. uh..

[hitachiincest]

post-beginning of accomplice ending [anime/ova timeline, so after the burning but long before souji leaves inaba] where souji & the IT are met up at junes still trying to figure out the "real culprit" but souji's phone rings & he looks down & sees its adachi & his brows raise then knit & he looks conflicted for a moment & he quietly excuses himself & the others just assume its dojima calling about nanakos condition or asking him to run an errand so they dont rly give it a second thought, sure ok souji.

but after Quite a long while, souji's still not back & whereas the others are engrossed in talking abt namatame with naoto, it rly nags at yosuke bc he has a bad feeling... what if souji's still not back bc he received some rly bad news? did he have to leave & forgot to tell them? so he tells the others hes gonna go look for souji & see if hes alright or whatever

so he gets up & looks around junes in some of the quieter corners nearby until he spots the bathroom & hes like huh. i wonder if he took his call in the bathroom? or maybe he had to go afterward. so he decides to peek his head in (it's stalls, so theres a sink/open area) & hes abt to say soujis name to see if hes in 1 of the stalls (would be creepy to look down & lean a little to see the shoes in the stalls, after all. & what if he gets the wrong person who just has similar shoes?), but then he hears a choked sound that sounds ODDLY familiar... but, what—

& then he hears it again, this time a bit different. it's more a whimper or smth of that nature... alongside some quiet sound of skin. & he'd recognize his partner's voice Anywhere. was he... in here...??! & he gets flusters for a second bc the reality of walking in on his partner doing smth like that is- i-is... & what sort of phone call couldve led to this? was the phone call a Ruse to get him to leave & have some private time to do... this? his head was too scrambled... & yu sounds far better than he had any right to. he could hardly think abt the implications of the warm feeling in his stomach at the sound of his partner's noises.

but thats when he hears it. souji letting out a strangled hiss of "adachi-san, i—" & his blood goes absolutely cold.

[terra-oriens-soli-archived]

Tagged by:

@mr-puffinwhisperer (Thank you~ I apologize for getting to it so late)

Name of your muse:

Kiku Honda (I was tempted to write Kiks)

One picture you like best of your muse’s fc.

Hm.. I lost most of them, and I do intend on changing his fc because.. the reason I used this face was for the hair, so hahahhaha..

Anyway, a few. The one for my promo, this one where he was holding the country’s flag behind him, but I don’t have it on me.. nor can I find it at the moment. This one is really cute.

Two headcanons you have for your muse that you never told anyone.

Uhhh is there one I haven’t said yet?

He tries to put things behind him, under a rug because it is no longer necessary, nor healthy to hold grudges, but sometimes it gets difficult to hide the bitterness and occasional choking on tea when certain topics are brought up. He denies it with the best attempts of looking calm and rationally pleasant.

Sometimes he’s that cliche of “how I just want to be normal human with a boring office job”, but then remembers how limited the abilities of a human are, and goes “nah, nevermind. I will not complain any further on the matter.”

Three things that your muse loves doing in their free time.

Because Kiks loves his doggie and kitty, Pochi and Nihoneko, spending time with them is best. Taking them out for walks, spoiling them in a subtle and reserved manner, the little pets are the reminders that there is still beauty in the world that he may forget about, brooding to himself when he believes he has no time for “childish matters”

Trying to make sense out of Fujiwara Hikaru and the other little cities, but you know what? They choose whoever they wish to be, and it is amusing to see where they go.

Enjoying the little things that the beautiful world and life has to offer. It’s often difficult when the most of individuals delve into pits of insecurities or negativity and worthless mounds.

Four people that your muse loves.

A lot. In the platonic way. (haha, the question asked for four and it took some digging through posts to see)

@exsuperatus, @ukigumoshi, @lilli-of-the-mountain, @landforces

Three fond childhood memories.  

Maybe when he found Pochi and Nihoneko in the baby of the years.

His childhood wasn’t the most positive nor negative, so each moment are taken as lessons to grow up with, rather than happy or sad memories. (In other words, I should do research, but finals and laziness are quite the new plague)

Two things your muse regrets.

Quite a few things (Fujiwara existing-- I’m kidding, they’re beautiful)

Let’s say there were a few things that could’ve been done with a better method.

One thing they’d go through heaven or hell to save/change.

Hm.. His friends and his little pets

Tag ten people to do the same thing.

I didn’t see anyone do it, so..~

@exsuperatus, @ukigumoshi, @landforces, @sokrovennyi, @zhwangyao, @ari-rivaille-ackerman, @zdravstvuysclntse, @sverige-san, @seekesotsibteadmist, and @ehrendame

[missandrogyny]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation 2016

so!! @alivingfire tagged me in this thing!! originally i wasn’t planning to do it but i figured that eh i should so i at least have something to refer back to next year yay

1. List of works published this year:

if i had the chance, the things i would do to you

that lace shirt

somethin’ bout you

blind from this sweet, sweet craving

to kill the mess we’ve made

day 3: tossed salad

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

i think i’m most proud of somethin’ bout you?? like, when i got the prompt for the spring exchange i was so excited, but also kind of nervous because it was such a huge idea and i’d never written an idea that huge before. i tend to stick to plots that are fluffier, simpler, and less…plotty, so to speak, so having the spring exchange prompt and spinning it the way i wanted to (with the kidnapping and the d/s, etc.) was daunting. there are definitely still parts that i would want to change in it, parts i would rewrite if i had the chance, parts where you can tell that i just got so sick of my own work, and i still want to give it a sequel, but yeah. to me that feels like a child i sent in to a spelling bee and although he didn’t really win any awards, he was still good enough to be in the spelling bee.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

probably my work for the 30 days of smut. i just…didn’t really know what i was working with. like, i didn’t know what the authors before me were doing, and i was way too shy to actually message them and ask and discuss plot, so i just sat on it until a week before it was supposed to be submitted and thought ‘fuck it, i’m just gonna do whatever’. also it was written in past tense, which i completely forgot how to do rip so i spent a lot of time just…reading it and trying to make sense of the tenses and crying over words

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

i’m always, always going to be proud of this paragraph. i don’t really know what came over me at the time of writing, but when i finished i just had this and i just…loved it so much.

(Later, Louis wakes up to find Harry sound asleep beside him. It’s dusk, and the soft light of the afternoon makes him look unreal, almost ethereal. He looks like a star, or perhaps some shooting thing—a meteor, or a comet, maybe. Louis watches as he breathes, as his chest rises and falls, watches the way the light seems to bend to him, making him look like the most beautiful thing to ever exist.

And Louis wants to save this moment, wants to keep him like this forever, naked and asleep in bed, but he knows better—he knows that Harry is a star, and you cannot keep stars like this to yourself. He knows that stars don’t belong here, don’t belong in dusty bedrooms beside boys with sticky fingers. He knows that stars belong in the sky and boys belong on the ground, and even a boy with the stickiest fingers will never be able to keep a star down.

So he gets dressed—slowly, quietly. Harry doesn’t stir at all, too lost in his dreams, and that’s good, because that makes saying goodbye that much easier. A sleeping Harry won’t draw him in with sea foam green eyes and cherry-red lips. A sleeping Harry won’t entice him to stay.

He takes a mental picture, embeds it into his brain, makes sure he has something to remember this by. Then he presses a feather-light kiss onto Harry’s hair, before he’s making his way out the door, closing it gently.

He doesn’t lock the door behind him anymore.)

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

whew. i get so many nice reviews on my fics, because people are too nice to me and too kind and they give me more credit than i deserve, honestly. some of my favorite ones are the long ones, the ones that ramble on about the parts that they liked. i also like the ones when people said they stayed up to read it because they couldn’t put it down–it’s so, so flattering, because there are a bunch of fics i stayed up for, and i know the feeling, and people having that feeling over my fics are just ❤️ 😫 (although y’all should…really sleep skjdhfkjads sleep is important)

oh!!! also, i absolutely love it when i get reviews from other writers!! like for example dolce has left a review on…two of my fics and i have each review screenshotted and saved on my phone and i look at them when i’m sad jskdhkjhads i scream about dolce reviewing my fic to anyone who’ll listen tbh

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

it’s kind of shallow, but writing became really, really, really hard when i changed my laptop last august. i don’t know why, it’s like i can’t produce anything i like on my laptop. it’s a psychological thing i’m still trying to get over, even until now.

oh, it was also really hard after my uncle died.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you

ummm. i’d say the way i characterized niall in “if i had the chance, the things i would do to you” surprised me at the time i wrote it. i still have no idea how he turned out like that. but i like it hahhaha.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

i think i became a bit more willing to experiment? last year was my first year writing 1d fic so i just mostly stayed in my comfort zone, writing the things i was sure about. this year saw me publishing fics that pushed my boundaries a little bit. somethin’ bout you is one. another is to kill the mess we’ve made, princess’ birthday fic. princess likes things i don’t normally write, so i tried to like, tailor the fic to her interests, which was why it had a bit of angst. my entry for the 30 days of smut was also just one huge experiment, i wanted to see if i could write harry getting rimmed. apparently i could.

also!!! i started actually, properly outlining my work. it’s a messy outline, but it’s an outline, nonetheless and it makes me feel like a proper writer every time i have to refer back to it jsfjkhads

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i hope that next year (2017) writing comes much easier? of course that’s kind of…like a farfetched ideal, writing will always be difficult but i can always hope, right? i hope that i’ll also be able to write longer fics, maybe even publish a chaptered fic one day with a long plot. i hope to also get a better grasp of harry & louis, and all the rest of the 1d characters, so i can improve the depth of character/write fics with different ships (lirry, anyone? also i want to write an ot5 smut fic that’s my dream). i also want to have a better grasp of angst to be able to spin longer, more complex plots! i have so many hopes why am i so optimistic

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

i, of course, have to mention the person who got me to continue writing 1d fic after the first two i posted in 2015, the person who still consistently makes me write things and every time i give her an idea, she always says “why don’t you write it???” like wow that belief in me. the person who always reads my fics beforehand and screams about the parts she liked/parts she didn’t like (you have no idea how nerve-wracking it was to publish a fic she didn’t read beforehand. because it was a surprise. for her.) princess @britishhusbands always the best and always, always grateful for you.

other writers inspire me too, like rachel @alivingfire honestly rachel you are a huge, huge inspiration and i always tell people you’re the true mvp in the larrie fandom. @crazyupsetter is a huge inspiration as well, whoknows fics are always amazing. um. this year i also read another hazy may for the first time and @/delilah, i just. i think about it a lot. J @latitta are an immensely talented writer, and your words and your works always push me to be the best. @tornorrows i love you and your works, thank you for your words. @haydolce incredibly, incredibly talented, and your fics always make me so happy.  @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy i love your works, whether you write it together or separately, and they’re always a joy and a pleasure to read.

oh!! j @harrysramonesshirt shares the same love for pretty words and quotes and poetry as i do, and she always sends me stuff to inspire me. it’s actually because of her i started a sideblog where i just reblog all the pretty words/quotes/poems i like, and refer back to it when i need inspiration (if you’re curious, you can find it over at @/stylestiques haha) j, thank you for the poems, the words, the another hazy may playlist you made, which has been the only thing i’ve been listening to for the past few months–you’ve been such an amazing source of inspiration.

other people hm. @louisdarling i love you, you know that, you don’t have to do anything to be an inspiration, you already are. @loveliestlarry all the best, amanda, i’m still a shit replier (will i ever not be haha), but thank you nonetheless. 

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

uhhh. usually the only thing that shows up from my real life in my works is whenever the character works out/boxes/goes to the gym hahaha. mostly, i draw from other people’s experiences–the small things that other people do, stories they recount back to me, or little throw away comments that they make, usually that’s where i get the inspiration. 

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

i think just. don’t be afraid to try out new things. like if you like an idea/prompt but are afraid you aren’t good enough for it, try your hand at it anyway. you might just surprise yourself. 

also. “fake it till you make it”. a lot of people have an idea but are afraid to write, because they might not be good. i’ll be honest–most of the time i just bullshit my way through fics. so just. bullshit it. don’t be afraid to write shit.

(wow i’m the worst at this)

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

i’m excited to finish my cuddling fic, which has already taken WAY TOO LONG. 😠. i also hope i’ll be able to finish this other fic which has also TAKEN WAY TOO LONG. i’m also looking forward to starting princess’ bday fic this year. AND RACHEL @alivingfire AND I HAVE SOMETHING PLANNED AND I’M SUPER PSYCHED FOR THAT. WE HAVEN’T HAMMERED OUT THE DETAILS YET BUT. IT’S GOING TO BE REALLY, REALLY FUN.

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

@turtlekz and @backonefish and @tornorrows hiiiii if you haven’t done this yet!!!!

*All answers should be about works published in 2016. Also, you can skip any questions you hate or don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can do them if they want. :)