#why say lesbian spectrum when you could just...

[foundfamilynonsense]

Sometimes I just want to sit down and say, like… Gay men, lesbian women, and straight people. You could wake up tomorrow and discover you’re actually bi.

Tomorrow you could meet someone of the sex you do not think you are attracted to and go “oh fuck”. There is no rule— nothing—that says that could not happen to you at any moment.

“I’ve lived forty years without—” so?

“I can just tell I’m—” how?

Now, we can get into the conversation of how these labels aren’t actually law, and that you can be a lesbian even if there was that one guy and you can be a straight guy if there were those two guys in college and etc.

And that’s totally true and valid and we should normalize that. But that’s another post.

My point for this post is that, yes, you are one strange meeting away from being bisexual. It will probably never happen. But you can never say with 100% certainty that it won’t happen.

But that doesn’t mean every gay, lesbian, and straight person should start calling themselves bisexual just in case. That would be a completely absurd thing to expect.

Can you imagine if we go around to gay men and were like “but how do you know you’ll never be attracted to a woman?” Imagine if we did it to straight people? The idea you have to call yourself Bi just in case?

This is easy to understand. So why is it so hard for people to understand when it comes to asexual and aromantic people?

Like… I suppose I could wake up tomorrow and catch some feels for someone. I… doubt it. But it could happen.

But I’ve been alive 22 years and it hasn’t happened yet. So why should I expect it? Why should I spend time thinking about it? Why should I label myself based on that slim possibility?

The number of straight people who have said to me “well you never know” or “maybe you just haven’t met the right person” or whatever. Can you all IMAGINE what they would say to me if I threw it back?

“Oh, sally, you don’t like any women yet but you never know. Maybe you just haven’t met the right woman.” Their heads would explode I think.

I am an adult. I have been through college and it’s social life. My brain is (basically) done developing and I finished puberty quite a while ago. How late do you have to be before people concede that you’re not a “late bloomer” you’re just not gonna bloom at all?

Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and be attracted to someone. I still would consider myself on the aroace spectrum. But to be honest I think I know myself enough to trust it’s not going to happen. And I don’t think I should have to plan for it or expect it.

[genderqueerdykes]

Why do people say stuff like 'bi lesbian' when they can just say like, for example, 'lesbian romantically and bisexual'? I just think it's confusing and pointless when less confusing explanations exist

No hate I'm just stupid and think a lot of things could be explained better then they are

good question, there's a reason people don't say that: it's because that's not how they identify, that's not what they said. they said they're a bisexual lesbian. that's how they identify. if they identified the way you worded it, they would say that. i'm a bisexual lesbian so keep this in mind while talking to me, because this is literally my identity. what you said there is NOT how i identify at ALL. my bisexuality encompasses gayness and lesbianism, as well as transhet relationships.

you can be bisexual and a lesbian at the same time. bisexual means having 2 or more modes of attraction. lesbian attraction is and can be a part of bisexuality. bisexual identities do not exist completely independent of gay and lesbian ones- gay and lesbian experiences are part of the bisexual experience.

i'm curious as to what people think bisexuality even is ? it just means 2 or more modes of attraction, and of course that can include lesbianism, why wouldn't it? it doesn't just mean attracted to straight men and women, it can also cover gay experiences. i mean think about it, is a gay person who identifies as bisexual hurting you or anyone else? is a lesbian who identifies as bisexual hurting you or anyone else?

some people use that descriptor for them, but that's not what bisexual lesbian means. that is not "explained better," - that is an inaccurate portrayal of many people's identities. how you feel about a bisexual lesbian or gay doesn't change how they feel. it doesn't matter if it sounds poorly explained to you- it isn't. you don't know how bisexual gays and lesbians feel on the inside, why is it up to you to define their identity for them?

ask yourself why you think someone else is doing a poor job of explaining their own identity. it's NOT up to you or anyone else to "correct" someone else on how they identify. a bisexual lesbian is a bisexual lesbian. please refer to this comic strip penned in 1999 by Alison Bechdel about bisexual lesbianism and how the two experiences do not have to be separate, but rather part of the same spectrum:

it is not your place to decide what someone else's identity means, that is their choice to make. you are only the arbiter of your own lived experience, not anyone elses. i hope that helps, take care

[tequiilasunriise]

Okay yall lemme cook‼️‼️‼️

I really, really like the parallels of ‘she fainted and now I’ll fan her’ here with White Raven:

Annabel caught Lenore when she almost fell and tried to remain in this untouched and happy facade while still subtly trying to fan Lenore because Annabel believed her to be upset and needed some air.

Lenore caught Annabel when girlypop straight up fainted and more obviously fans her in an attempt to care for Annabel, her face full of open concern for the fallen woman, there’s even a whole panel that draws attention to the fan specifically.

Why does this even matter, you ask me? Because I love the stark contrasts between Lenore and Annabel, even down to the most minute details they’re opposites.

Annabel is trying to be more discreet in her affections for Lenore, her pretty smile and chipper words a diversion from the way she holds onto Lenore’s arm to steady her, bright eyes a complete distraction from the way her fan is flapping away. Her carefree attitude makes it seem like she could easily play off these attempts to care fer Lenore, like she could flippantly brush it off as ‘nothing big’ and that she ‘doesn’t really care this is just a throwaway whatever action’ (but we all know the calculative Annabel Lee doesn’t just do whatever fer just anyone).

On the complete opposite side of the spectrum, Lenore cares about Annabel. She cares a whole lot, actually, and she’s extremely open about it. From angrily calling Annabel a dratted liar fer claiming what they had to be fake to very clearly worrying about Annabel as she fans her. The delicate care, the way Lenore does not hesitate to grab that fan and start gently fanning Annabel, how she doesn’t try to set up a facade that gives her an ‘out’ if questioned why she’s doing all these things for Annabel. Lenore gives no shit about mindgames and appearances dude!!! Yeah she cares about Annabel, so what??? Lenore is just SOOOO acts of service as a love language, each time she reaches out is open declaration of, “love you love you love you”.

That kinda contrast kills me, man!!! Bright moon x dim sun, the sun does care but she needs to show it in a way where people don’t think she’s that invested you know you know she’s Just A Friend™️, meanwhile the moon says, “fuck it we ballllllll” and snitches her bleeding heart across her entire sleeve right before diving in with affections on full display.

That being said, I also really like how Annabel’s fanning is the last kindness she gave Lenore right before she left and Lenore ‘died’ and by sharp contrast Lenore’s fanning is one of the first kindness she gave Annabel when she came back from the ‘dead’ all resurrected like a funky butch lesbian Jesus.

Kindness as a last resort, as a final parting gift when the time’s up, vs kindness as an instinct, as a greeting call, as your first move.

[crimsonender]

interested in seeing you discuss how people view intersectionality/ and or just hearing you talk about intersectionality as whole! I saw your Transandrophobia reblog so i wanted to listen to your opinions. A quote i saw people reposting occasionally was about how no amount of shared marginalization between a man and a woman will make men have empathy for women. sorry if this is like too vague to go off, but i saw that same quote a few times and i agree to some extent but i feel like trans men's involvement in these discussions tend to be overlooked. should probably mention my bias but i'm an indigenous transguy but i don't want to hold resentment over online discourse and just want to hear other people's thoughts.

"no amount of shared marginalization between a man and a woman will make men have empathy for women."

This is TERF shit. And if you've seen a trans person say it, it's a trans person trying to reframe TERF shit to fit a trans person. The idea that men are biologically predisposed to dominate and oppress women is the cornerstone of radfem ideology.

Moreover it really sounds like the kind of thing that only a white person could say.

I really recommend reading The Will to Change by Bell Hooks.

Bell Hooks is really good about talking about how while men are largely responsible for their role in the patriarchy, women are complicit in it as well, and both men and women are hurt by it, even if women are moreso. She frames it in a way that doesn't feel accusatory and is very compassionate towards men, but also acknowledges that from the time they are young boys that they are trained and conditioned to be emotionless and even that to be accepted as a man that they must be violent. The titular will to change is about being willing to be cooperative with women, and for women to accept that male pain is not at its core an accusation of the failure of women as a social class. If we can all learn to accept that in our hearts then we can truly find love in our intimate and personal lives but also we can fight for a better tomorrow.

To bring it down, and make it a tad more personal to me, I was. Not a boy. I didn't really feel the onset of dysphoria until I began to fill the social role of a woman, and began puberty. My dissonance with my gender began around nine or ten and I knew in my heart I was transgender when I was fourteen. I came out at nineteen. For the first half of my life, I lived and filled the social role of a girl. I then grew up and became a man. Not all trans people like to conceptualize their transness like this, but there is no right or wrong way to be transgender. This is what feels right to me. There is a distinct who I was before and who I was after. (Though I do prefer other people to refer to my younger self as male and with my chosen name. Not the place to talk about why though.)

My biggest allies have always been women. My sister, my best friend, and my Moms have been supportive of me from day one when I came out to them, and the gratitude I feel... it cannot be put to words. Whereas I don't talk to... Any of the men in my life I knew pre-transition. Not my brother, my father, any of my male friends, my two male cousins whomst I was close with growing up, I don't see outside of very occasional family occasions where everyone is there. My family is not particularly progressive outside of my Moms being lesbians. Feminism is not exactly something any of them care about across the gender spectrum. So this doesn't really surprise me. I also do occasionally run into empathy problems with the women in my life, but all of us have that titular will to change.

Taking it back to intersectionality, in many black feminist writings such as those by Hooks as well as the coiner of the term, Kimberlé Crenshaw, it very specifically talks about how you don't really stack identities into a list. As a hypothetical example, you wouldn't say:

I'm a person of colour

I'm a woman

I'm trans

I'm working class

I'm disabled.

These identities coexist and interact with each other in ways that are unique.

"I'm a disabled working class trans woman of colour."

This lines up with Crenshaw's idea of intersectionality. There are experiences that this person will have that no one other person with part of her identity will, even if you only changed one small part of it. But it's also important to realize there are common experiences that we do have, when sharing parts of our identity. Having empathy for one another and coming to the table with kindness and understanding in our hearts first and foremost is how we coexist and find that acceptance that all of us want.

I think at the end of the day that being a human being is messy and almost always painful. But I think the pain is worth it. I think the best thing we can do is show one another compassion and grace.

[propheticclown]

TW: Rant post, acephobia.

Okay, now I don’t like making posts like this, mainly because I don’t enjoy expressing my anger if it’s not in a constructive way. But for the love of Christ can we please stop sexualizing ace characters???

How is it that when I look up Kankri Vantas (A CANONICAL CELIBATE CHARACTER), it doesn’t even take me half a scroll to find some weirdo art of him. I’m not saying don’t ship Kankri or whatever, since he does canonically feel flushed, but he had never been shown a desire to pail with someone. He’s ace, but that doesn’t mean he’s aro. THE VICE VERSA IS ALSO TRUE! Just because he feels romantic feelings, doesn’t mean he’s not ace.

Do you know how many times I’ve PERSONALLY been told, as someone on the Ace-Spectrum, that I just need to “loosen up” or that I’m “not valid” because for something I have no control over. The worst part is that it doesn’t even come from weirdo right-winged assholes. It comes from people WITHIN the LGBTQ+ community, because despite being known as the “most accepting community”, the second I don’t conform to some sexual-normative criteria/mindset, I’m the weird one, it’s somehow “not natural”. Isn’t that literally the same thing that 70-year old conservatives say?

And what do I always get as a response when I bring up this over-sexualization of characters who are ace? “It’s just their headcanon.” or “Well it’s not explicitly confirmed, only implied.” But I guarantee you that if I said that Dirk was only implied to be gay, or Rose never explicitly said “I’m a lesbian” and therefore I could ship them with a differently gendered character, suddenly it’s not good. Suddenly it’s bad, but not when it’s an ace character like Kankri, nooo.

Because for some moronic reason, despite this whole community being built on the idea of “equality”, ace characters are always treated as a prize and are objectified because people think being ace is the equivalent of shaking my ass in your face and going “ooh, you can’t have this.” WHEN IT LITERALLY FUCKING ISN’T! It’s the complete opposite! We see other people and go “While I may wish to hold a romantic relationship with you, I cannot feel sexual attraction and therefore do not wish to have sexual relationships.”

Why are we so disregarding of character’s sexualities when they’re ace or aro? It’s not even something hard to respect their canonical labels. It’s not silly or funny or anything. It’s acephobic and makes the entire point of the LGBTQ+ (that being that we’re all equal) an utter joke! “Yeah we’re all equal, but not if you’re ace.” It’s such bullshit. Again, not saying you can’t ship them, but sexualizing them and similar things is just disgusting and disrespectful.

[sun-citadel]

The violet sapphic flag

I decided to start work on a sapphic flag, as the original one did not feel inclusive to masculine presenting sapphics. The inclusive sapphic flag also felt too random for me to feel aligned, so I spent time researching a flag design

Excuse any spelling mistakes, English isn't my first language.

Info below. Original thread here. Tiktok version [ without typos ]

1. Why violets ?

The poetry of Sapphos often included talk of violet crowns, with one of her famous poems reading ;

` … Many crowns of violets,

roses and crocuses

…together you set before more

and many scented wreaths

made from blossoms

around your soft throat… `

Violets historically are considered a symbol of sapphic love and the LGBT movement, and are seen in pop culture, such as the cult classic lesbian movie, Bound. A 1926 play also involved a woman sending violets to another, as a potential nod to Sapphos. When the poem was censored / boycotted, women would send violets in support.

To say violets were not a part of LGBT + , and primarily spaphic / lesbian history would be a false statement.

2. Why these colours ?

I colour picked from violets themselves, primarily the African and common violet. One for their inclusion of white, and the other for its range of hues from more blue to magenta. I felt they could align with the various presentations seen within sapphic culture, as I myself ID as transmasculine / presently as a soft butch. There are those who are transfemme, femme, masc, androgynous, etc., and this various spectrum of colours I feel could align with how the community is not just one, but various shade of violet.

I spent time researching LGBT history, and have come up with meanings for these specific colours. They were carefully chosen for both traditional colour meanings, as well as symbolisms that align with the LGBT+ community.

From lavander to pink, both colours have a history of representing the community, and have become symbols reclaimed. From sapphos flowers, to the pink triangle, it is important to remember our history and struggles. Pink triangles itself was used as a symbol for transwomen, as an identifier for example [ as well as gay individuals, but this isn't about them at this time ] , but have been reclaimed to represent lgbt+ rights and our struggles. It is important to never forget those who came before us.

Each colour was picked based off traditional meanings, as well as identifying traits of the community.

3. Colour meanings?

From top to bottom, these colour meanings are ;

1. Femininity, health.

Pink is associated with femininity, so this is for the purely femme presenting individuals, whether trans, nb, or however they ID. It also is the colour of love, and health [ ex , ` everything is rosy ` meaning good ] .

2. Love, compassion.

A lighter shade of pink is usually associated with love, and with love comes compassion and understanding.

3. Youth and age.

From our lives comes the fact that, we as sapphics, lesbians, etc. know that deep down, this is who we truly are. Whether you're young, or come to the realization later, we live life as our authentic self. May we grow old and happy.

4. Limitless potential.

With those who are not afraid to break the gender / sexual binary, and present in ways uncaring of societal norms.

Whether trans, nonbinary, asexual, or uncaring of labels, I hope you find who you truly are.

5. Soft masculinity.

To be soft and masculine is frowned upon in society, but some of us present in ways that we deem just right. It is an oxymoron on many levels to those who do not understand, but we are indifferent and stand tall.

6. Wisdom.

With our history, we can learn and grow, it is important to never forget it. Ever on we march to assure that we are treated as equals.

7. Serenity, masculinity.

A nod to the original flag that brought us here, while also representing the other side of the spectrum for fully masc individuals. Once again, this is for those in the trans umbrella, or comfortable in their gender.

4. Who can use it ?

Sapphics or anyone who falls into that general category.

TERF / SWERFS / anyone not inclusive of the trans community are not permitted.

Please do not use if m - spec lesbian.

[scourgefrontiers]

yall ready for a gender journey post..

so yall could probably guess i grew up a cis girl. i didnt start questioning my gender until high school after i broke up with my first boyfriend which kind of freed me up to explore my identity as my own person for the first time. around age like 16 was when i first started identifying as trans, and at the time that meant a binary trans guy

after a couple years of getting comfortable exploring my gender i decided hey maybe im actually not a binary trans guy but instead nonbinary. still transmasc and guy leaning but not quite all the way anymore. this became a trend for the next loooong while, getting closer to the androgynous part of the spectrum as time went on

then in recent years (maybe about 5 years ago ish) i started to lean more towards femininity. this is significant for me because growing up i was always opposed to it--i hated wearing dresses, i hated putting on makeup, anything "girly" appalled me and i didnt know why. i ended up thinking its because i WASNT a girl, and thats why i was so uncomfortable with everything to do with being a girl. i rejected it so hard because it just wasnt me.

after living with eden for a while i got even more comfortable exploring the feminine part of myself. i started wearing dresses and skirts and actually ENJOYED it; i started painting my nails and wearing earrings again; i even grew my hair out to my shoulderblades (yeah thats where its at now LOL). ive even started using she/her alongside they/them. and im actually enjoying these things??? it feels like after all these years im finally able to reclaim them because i feel like im finally able to be comfortable with my gender--how my gender feels to ME, not to everyone else.

that was the problem when i was growing up--i was trapped in everyone else's perception of my gender and what it "should" be. i was trapped into a box that was made by everyone else's idea of what i SHOULD look like, what i SHOULD wear, what i SHOULD act like, etc. and it took me until age 26 to fully realize that my gender is what i want it to be, not what everyone else wants.

i dont have to be a guy to want facial hair and a flat chest and a low voice. loving pink and dresses and cute things and makeup and jewelry doesnt inherently mean im a girl. pronouns, features, clothes, even names dont inherently mean youre one gender or another. your gender is defined by you and only you and nobody should be able to put you into a box and define your gender for you.

..having said all this, im starting to explore my gender further, and im slowly coming to the POSSIBLE conclusion that i might come back around to being cis (albeit gnc). nothing would really change about me except the label tbh. if i do end up coming to that conclusion i will be very bummed about leaving the trans community, but i wont feel any less attached to it, as ive spent literally half my life as part of it. i understand what its like to be trans and to love myself as my most authentic self, and thats why im considering this possiblity!

identifying as a lesbian kind of pushed me in this direction as well--i cant remember the last time i felt truly comfortable and happy with a label regarding my orientation.. like ya damn. maybe i am a girl who likes girls LOL. it just feels right and natural for me personally??? its crazy. i love women. if youre a woman i love you no matter the flavor. i love my wife more than all of you though sorry <3

but god please dont take this as me being like "oh trans people just need to get comfortable with their gender and theyll realize theyre cis" that is a bullshit take and i am not saying that. this is strictly my own experience and journey! i am 100% not speaking for every trans person and you shouldnt either.

but ya. dan cis era???? we'll see. no official statement just yet but i just wanted to let yall know where im at in my ~gender journey~. until i confirm anything please still view me as a nonbinary girlthing! <3

[lindentea]

a Dyke-nonychus for Pride month! Baltimore Pride is tomorrow and i'm excited! it's my first Pride since coming out as a lesbian and i'm PUMPED.

(a longer-than-i-thought-it-would-be ramble about identity follows!)

i'd been out as bi for something like 25+ years (i just turned 40 three weeks ago). i thought that since i'm not a †3®ƒ and i'm attracted to women and nonbinary ppl no matter their hardware, and since i'm transmasc/genderqueer myself, that it fully excluded me from being able to call myself a lesbian. i've heard and internalized some really cruel takes (mostly on leftbook, ugh) from tankies screaming that no one can be a lesbian unless they strictly identify as a woman in a very binaristic sense, are only attracted to women also in a binaristic sense, and only use she/her pronouns.

what a crock of shit, amirite??

comphet got me real bad, too. i'd been partnered with an uninterrupted stream of men since i was 15 (also dated women/nb ppl during that time, polycules, yadda yadda). i was married to a man for almost a decade, then only a handful of months after we split up, i jumped straight into another almost-decade-long relationship with a man (lovebombing is one helluva drug). i'm still friends with my ex-husband but that latter partner was horrendously abµs¡ve and thank fuckin' Satan i'm no longer with him.

up until i escaped The Arsehole, the longest amount of time that i wasn't in any kind of relationship with a man (whether romantic or just a hookup) was only a couple months at most. the societal pressure to never say "no" to a man is crushing. to always seek validation from men, because if men don't find me attractive then i have failed at life. the pressure when identifying as bi and internalizing the message of "but if you're bi, why don't you want to date men? if you're really bi, you shouldn't exclude any gender(s) from your dating pool."

...and then i spent an entire year without having any sort of relationship with a man. and hooooooo-lee shit, y'all...!! i had an existential crisis that was.. honestly...? set off by Tracy Chapman's performance at the Grammys. i made a whole 3-hour long Spotify playlist of as many songs as i could think of that had made me feel the gayest. (the playlist is fuckin' siiiiiiiiick, if i may say so myself. but i'm sorry to non-paying Spotify folks, since i prefer to craft playlists meant to be listened to in a specific order. still slaps on random, tho.)

i spilled my guts to a few trusted friends (as well as my lovely nb partner), and i in a conversation with one of my closest friends (whomst, in the past, i'd had multiple deep-dive conversations about our identities as bi) i said, "so like... if i'm nonbinary... and i'm only attracted to women and nonbinary ppl who identify more with that 'end' of the timey-timey gendery-wendery gender spectrum...." and she told me, "Linden... Linden. that is literally in the definition of lesbian." and... that was that, then.

ANYHOW, i could go on and on, but..... uhhhhh HERE, HAVE A CUTE DINOSAUR! happy Pride!!

[dollypopup]

So, I wasn't gonna post anything about this, honestly, but because I was directly asked, here's my 2 cents!

First, I want to thank you for saying you trust me with this! I'm also on the ace-spectrum, and I'm a queer, bisexual woman, so I do have a lot of empathy with you and everyone else who was down for queer rep.

(Also, I do not have Anon turned on for my asks. I absolutely respect your privacy, but I've been harassed before, and if people want to come at me, they can do it with their whole chest. Similarly, if people want to come TO me, I'd love to be friends!) I want to start off with the fact that whilst I understand that you believe the article, I don't. Call it the skeptic in me, or my media literacy classes during my grad program or denial or what have you, but we live in a huge era of misinformation. A tabloid is not likely to be any kind of reliable source, and a random reddit user even less so. It's like making a balloon full of pudding and having a clown say it's helium. We're not going to know until the needle pops it. Surely, no one would ever lie on the internet.

That being said, as much as I yearned and wanted for Demi Colin to be confirmed, it's not set in stone, and so it couldn't have been taken away from us. Honestly, even being ace-spec, a lot of the HC of Demi!Colin started putting a bad taste in my mouth when I realized that a lot of this predominately cishet fandomw as doing it as a means of keeping Colin 'pure' for Penelope, and that struck me as incredibly acephobic. Sure, they were HCing him as one of us. . .but not because it fit with his character or provided a rich and interesting arc for him to explore, but more so that his identity was an extension of their hopes and wants for Penelope. It wasn't for him as a character, but for him as a prize. And that made me so very sad, so my dream of Demi!Colin died when I saw that happening so frequently. Us Demi and Ace folks deserved better than that, and we continue to.

Either way, I think you are absolutely allowed to feel your disappointment! This is a frustration safe zone! There was a lot of potential this season, especially for Colin, that I feel has been dropped. But even IF that article contains some truth (big, heavy IF). . .idk, I see it through the lens that lot of us Demi folks have had sex. Even no strings attached sex. I know I have. Was I disassociated from it for a lot of the time? Yeah. Was it satisfying? No. But did it happen? It did. I chose to take part in it, and they were experiences that helped me grow. And I am no less Demi for it! IF this article is true, instead of us freaking. . .I feel like it could tell us a lot about Colin's character.

He is a man who has had, largely, no good role models in his life. Not in this regard. Who does he have to guide him? Anthony? Literally said he should have taken Colin to brothels. Benedict? Hell, he had a threesome himself. Why wouldn't Colin be out here thinking 'This is what Men do, this is what my brothers do, why not?' Colin is young. He's 23 still trying to find himself. And the entire idea of 'oh, he's a nerd! no way he's had threesomes' lol, like nerds aren't kinky? Come on, I'm a nerd and I've done way more than people would assume I have. He was traveling for months, and I think this really isn't as huge a deal as we're making it out to be. I ship Polin exclusively, and I love the idea of them having their firsts together, but I'm also not angry otherwise. In my mind, he's still demi. Just like he'll always be ND, even if it isn't confirmed.

Sidenote, o want to touch on something that is somewhat unrelated to your post, but something I'm seeing a lot is the whole 'it's dehumanizing for him to watch two women!' or 'it's lesbian fetishization!'

from the very bottom of my heart, as a gay woman, people saying that can eat me. These are the same people who didn't care about any of our representation, before. They didn't care about having lesbian characters, didn't bring them up. Now that it affects their (largely) het pairing, and specifically Colin as a perfect prize in a pairing he has largely been denied a narrative within, we're talking pieces and pawns for their discontent? No, I refuse. There are legitimate criticisms that can and should take place about Bridgerton's lack of care toward wlw, and especially that our only representation may actually just be a lesbian performance for the sake of a threesome, but this is not a criticism on COLIN. It is a criticism on the PRODUCTION. Because if we had queer women in the series before, it wouldn't be an issue. However, I refuse to have my sexuality used as a 'ewwww gross! look what they're doing! isn't that soooo wrong?' gotcha moment by people who just don't like his character. If we're gonna have a conversation about it, we should have a conversation about it based purely on our actual desire to protect and care for queer women. Not using us as stepping stone soap boxes to prop up an argument.

Queer people are really done dirty in the Polin fandom, and this is proof of it. Demi!Colin is important to me, and he continues living on in my heart and my fics, and even if it turns out that he's fucked up and down the Amalfi coastline and watched live porn, that won't make him less demi to me, personally. Ace spec people's experience with sex is all unique, and honestly, watching seems very in line with Colin's character. I don't agree with peeps who call it weird or gross that he watches porn.

This is an incredibly puritanical fandom, and I find it more and more evident as I spend time in it. The entire 'suffering' 'penance' 'deserve her' 'grovel' train was already very clear in that regard, and then people only wanting Colin to be a virgin so he remained 'pure' and 'untarnished' (legit takes I had to read with my own eyeballs) for Penelope was so Catholic on main that it made me feel insane.

Us ace-spec peeps deserve to be and should have the space to be upset at any developments taking place! We also deserve to be free from people doing pseudo pearl clutching and hiding behind feminist and queer-friendly language to disguise that they're just upset that Colin is getting anything at all in his storyline that centers around him and his own discovery outside of Penelope. Even if he isn't a virgin, he can absolutely still be Demi, Anon! And I hope that brings you some comfort.

Am I a fan of the threesomes foursomes moresomes and live porn speculation? No, not particularly. Am I livid furious throwing up about it? Also no. This series has betrayed me and disappointed me in so many ways, but so has the fandom. I guess I'm accustomed to it, now. But I want to reiterate that we should not believe everything that is posted. Some rando on a reddit forum confirming a tabloid article does not investigative journalism and peer review and confirmed sources make.

But in the event that the season does disappoint and gives us some baffling storylines: this is where fanfic can be such a comfort. It's how a story lives on in perpetuity. I've written trans!Colin and queer!Colin and demi!Colin and virgin!Colin and bdsm!Colin and all sorts! We can give we everything we want. It's our playground and it's meant to be fun.

But over my dead body will I believe a Sun UK article lol

[colorisbyshe]

People really struggle with the idea that there is no monolithic “nonbinary” experience and that many, many nonbinary people are not in the “middle” of the “gender spectrum” but that we all have different placements (and some have MULTIPLE placements) and that, for some of us, our place on the spectrum can be very, very close to “woman” and “man.” Or more close to “woman” and “man” than not.

And that that’s why nonbinary people can be included in straight and gay orientations. Because some of us are aligned with womanhood or manhood in a way where we know that, sometimes, when people say “women” or “man,” we are included in that.

Those of us that CAN fall under a broader understanding of “woman” or “man” know when we are included in those terms and don’t need messy language like “women and nonbinary people” or (often worse) “women and femmes.” Those of us who are included... include ourselves. Those who do not belong under “woman” or “man” just... do not include themselves in those terms.

And sometimes that inclusion is situational. Sometimes, I, a nonbinary woman, hear the term “woman” and go, “Sure, that’s me,” and, sometimes, I go “Not my ass.” For some nonbinary people, their ONLY connection to womanhood or manhood is their lesbianism or gayness. When they feel attraction to women, that’s the point of connection and sameness that they don’t otherwise feel (or if it’s a nonbinary man, their attraction to men).

And that’s how nonbinary people can be included in lesbianism without it being a “bisexual” lesbianism. The only nonbinary people included in lesbianism are the nonbinary people who hear “woman” and at least sometimes go “Sure, that’s me.” Lesbians are women attracted to women and no one else. It’s just that... some nonbinary people are included in that understanding of women.

It’s not... a deeply complicated concept. Women attracted to women (cis, trans, and nonbinary) are lesbians. Women attracted to women and people who are not women--men, nonbinary people who do not identify with womanhood at all or identify as men as well as women--are... bisexual.

Like I need people to look into my eyes and know that I, a nonbinary woman, am not misgendered when people are attracted to me because of the >woman< part of nonbinary woman. If someone completely ignores that there is a “nonbinary” bit modifying said womanhood, yes, I am being misgendered, but... erasing my womanhood that I have spent years coming to terms with is... also bad.

And nonbinary people know that our identities are often messy and challenge people’s understanding of binary genders but that’s... the point? Like if gender could have a point, that would be the point of many nonbinary genders.

So, please, stop using nonbinary people as an excuse to be lesbophobic (AND biphobic). You are not being more inclusive by insisting that any lesbian attracted to a nonbinary woman is actually bisexual. You are being exclusive and are, in many ways, misgendering the nonbinary people involved.

Using the term “non men” to say “non men attracted to only non-men” is not helping out nonbinary people, lesbians, or bisexuals either. So knock that ugly shit off too. Lesbianism is about womanhood. An inclusive womanhood. But exclusively that inclusive womanhood.

[thecoolerliauditore]

I've only skimmed a lot of the posts so sorry if this point has been made but I wonder how peoples' perception of Masculinity vs Femininity as a spectrum affects their perception of characters and designs. Do some people view Masculinity and Feminity as complete opposites, with androgyny as the middle ground? Can you be masculine and feminine simultaneously, while not really being androgynous? Does the 'threshold' of androgyny change depending on how the cc/character is depicted in 'canon'? to be clear I don't necessarily think any of these viewpoints are 100% correct or whatever but I think it's interesting how people will have different perspectives, because most people's view of gender are skewed different and what might read as a fem design could read masculine to another or just entirely androgynous. sorry for the ramble this stuff fascinates me deeply

No yeah it is fascinating!! It's a. very complicated topic since of course the concepts of "masculinity" and "femininity" are very frivolous and amorphous, hence why I kept feeling the need to clarify how it gets. Weird with anime-inspired styles what with the culture shock and whatnot.

This song was really popular in fandoms awhile back and I think it's like. a great example of how one culture's completely neutral (or even masculine!) traits can be seen as feminine (or in this case, "gay") when viewed by another. It's also just really funny and I'm kinda sad no on has done a life series animatic to it yet.

masculinity and femininity as a scale with androgynous in the middle is also something I'm glad you bring up, because the concepts of masculinity and femininity are so arbitrary and as such there are so many ways to deviate from the norm -- some more socially acceptable than others! Thinking about, for example, the young MAGA hat'd women you see on sites like twitter with the most racist takes of all time and who are very proud of their ability to keep up with the boys in terms of 'murican masculinity (chugging beers, changing tires, so on and so forth) but at the same time cake their faces with makeup, support that Hashtag tradwife lifestyle and Would Not Ever Consider wearing clothes from the mens section because that is the Bad type of gender non-conformity for commies and lesbians or whatever.

Compare that to like. sorry incoming irl lore. the way I've had people in both more liberal and less woke areas get nervous when they try to address me, with the only big difference being that more younger, liberal people will typically either ask for my pronouns or they/them me by default.

I'm lucky enough that most people here are polite but as someone who has presented both masc/fem the way people treat me is so distinctly different based on my perceived gender as well as my level of androgyny it was kind of shocking to me. Eitherway there's a distinct attitude it's like. Rude to not be able to tell whether someone's a man or woman I've noticed and nowadays I have a lot of fun stressing people out. Sadism in me or whatever.

ANYWAY this was about minecraft youtubers. Analysing how people gender their designs, unconsciously or not, is fascinating because of how interpretative these designs are. There's also probably something you could say about how gaming youtuber is a very male-dominated space and how female gaming youtubers tend to overperform femininity, but in very different ways dependent on their intended audience (compare say. Lizzie and Pokimane for example.)

I think it's also worth noting that like. masculinity and femininity in behaviour is very different from physical presentation. which is how you get images like this

in addition to, again, these concepts already being abstract.

and of course, all said with me biting my tongue on the queer side of things still, because that's a whole other sub-sector of stereotypes and in-group signalling and history that runs convergent with mainstream views on gender.

I think it might be an interesting exercise to put your own designs up against others and consider what points they differ and what that might mean for how the other artist interprets the character vs how you do it. And then if you can look up what the artist actually has to say about the character and see just how right/wrong you were and how your own biases come into play. Two different people can have very similar views on a character, for example, but communicate that through opposite design tropes because they have different associations with said tropes. Not just for gender things btw and I've found peoples more nuanced opinions are harder to read than you'd think! I don't think anyone would look at my Bdubs design and guess that I thought he was fairly feminine in personality, for example.

I love doing that and challenging my own pre-conceptions of what i think peoples takes are judging by their designs (as well as what I think certain traits indicate in personality!). It's amazing for example how many pearl designs I've seen as too feminine and rolled my eyes at turn out to be drawn by artists who very much consider her to be tomboyish.

[a-weird-cryptid]

I think we, as a community, should start to reclaim the word "queer" as an umbrella term for us, instead of adding letters to "LGBT".

Why? Because let's be honest, that letter soup is starting to get ridiculous. I can't be the only one who doesn't like to say every single letter of "LGBTQIAP+" when talking about my community.

It not only sounds extremely weird, but it's also getting harder to say. Plus this term makes us seem even more like "just special snowflakes and attention seekers" in the eyes of homophobic, transphobic, etc, people.

Don't get me wrong, I understand the idea behind it. With every letter standing for another sexuality, gender, or similar.

But calling out those specific ones, makes it look like any people who don't fall under those letters aren't worth representing. What about genderfluid or non-binary people for example?

We could argue for hours about that, but it just shows one of many problems this letter soup has. You'll NEVER be able to represent all by adding more and more letters.

Because something as complex as sexuality, gender and sex are not just a "rainbow spectrum" that goes from violet to red and that's it. And even if that was the case, they're still hundreds of different shades, that are too complex to really categorize. It's the reason we have so incredibly many labels in the first place.

I like to imagine queerness always starting with a "rainbow spectrum", (seeing it as the general direction you're taking, for example with homosexual represented by red) with all the different shades of the color, of the color you're choosing, being a more specific label under the umbrella term (for example a shade of "light pink" standing for lesbian).

I know that the word "queer" was used as a slur against us at some point. Coming from the German word "quer", which can bei used in German slang for "weird", "odd", "strange" or simply "out of the ordinary". Take the German word "Querdenker" for example, in English meaning "lateral thinker", aka someone who uses an unusual way of thinking to solve a problem.

But words can only have the meaning that we give it. Words can only have as much power as we give it. And on top of that, words, just like symbols, can change their meanings over time.

An example I really like to take for that, correct me if I'm wrong, is the word "punk" which was and still is used in a bunch of different contexts. Often as an insult, or a slur towards people who didn't/don't fit the norm. But now the day it's rather associated with positive things, such as music and a rebellious style choice.

So why shouldn't we reclaim the word "queer" as well? Why shouldn't we tell those homophobic, transphobic, etc people "Yes, we are not like you. Yes, we are different. Yes, we are 'quer'. But we're proud to be this way!" ?

Why shouldn't we show those people that they can't use the word "queer" as a slur against us anymore? Why shouldn't we attack them with their own weapons, using their own vocabulary against them?

It's so much more inclusive than "LGBTQIAP+" or "LGBTQIA+" could ever be. Plus it's something our community has identified with for decates, even if it's just subconsciously. Take "genderqueer" for example. "Queer" is even in the letter soup, the letter "Q" standing for it.

What do you guys think? And what's your opinion about this topic? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Especially if you're part of this colorful community!

For more discussions, reviews as well as other original stories and more, check out my master list of series.

[bloom-berri]

LEO/NEED HEADCANONS !!

for some context before the headcanons! These are ones I wrote down a while ago when i was finally first reading the stories and I did these after i finished their main story; so if they aren't super accurate to things up-to-date then thats proobbaabbllyy why, so bear with me! (Though i forever stand by disabled saki)

Random Leo/Need headcanons :

saki ofc got really sick and was in hospitalized for a few years, she was left very physically weak due to this so they gave her crutches to help stabilize herself so she can keep balance when walking and standing. She thought the crutches were too dull, boring, and ugly so before she went back to school she decorated them with stickers, ribbons, paint, and whatever else she could add without making them useless. Occasionally she'd redo all the designs just cuz she wasn't feeling it or didn't fit her aesthetic of the day and she'd just change it whenever she felt like it.

shiho maybe has bpd... it was my first thought when reading but I'm not 100% sure yet, she often pushes people away even the ones she cares for most. At times she can be really rude to them and say hurtful and blunt things, but other times she can be really genuine and kind to those closest to her. She has a habit of lashing out at people, often arguing with saki and honestly anyone who pisses her off in the slightest. This one I'm not sure about cuz it could be something else this is just my first thought

honami has social anxiety !!! She cares about what people think of her to an unhealthy amount, she always assumes the worst in social situations and that everyone will hate her if she makes one mistake, even if she seems to talk to people okay it makes her really anxious unless it's people she's really comfortable with

ichika has miku merch and she hides it under her bed whenever people come over... she pretends to be a casual fan, she is not though, she is drowning in her fixation

shiho likes her hair short cuz it's less to take care of, girl has places to be she can't spend to much time worrying about taking care of her hair

aannndd some sexuality/love headcanons: Ichika - aroace (make demiromantic) I feel like she'd be the type of aroace growing up trying to have a crush and thinking liking someone as a friend is the same as a crush and later thought something was wrong with her cuz she has no desire to kiss or really anything romantic with anyone; but hey who needs bitches when you can listen to hatsune miku Saki - questioning but most likely bi/pan with female preference she missed a lot of the important self discovery years since she was stuck in the hospital so she's figuring it out now and wants to try dating to get the full high school experience Honami - unlabeled or bi/pan with no preference if she loves someone then she loves someone! Never really thought about gender or anything In her people pleaser arc I think she was a bit of a hopeless romantic as well to cope with essentially leaving her best friends so she would use Love as a way to fill that hole (and since they're in an all girls school everyone just thought she was a raging lesbian) Shiho - Lesbian, demi-aroace (probably on the nonbinary spectrum too!) takes a lot for her to fall for someone considering how closed off she is and the fact that she doesn't really like people (I just can't see her with a man)

[cosmicarchivist692]

Radiorose Week Day 6 BONUS: The Pride Party and Distance

[Radiorose Week Day 6/Turning A Wrong Alley Right]

Rosie opened the door, Al quickly stepped in and started pacing. "Al, what's wrong?"

Alastor stopped for a moment to look Rosie in the eye before pacing again. His stitched smile was as close to a frown as it could be. "Charlie is insistent I participate in this, 'pride party,' today at the hotel. It's going to be crowded and I'm going to likely be bored out of my mind.... Rosie, will you come with me?" Alastor asked, still annoyed he was being forced to go.

Rosie sighed and grabbed Al's hands to get him to stop pacing. "You're going to run a hole into my floors at this rate, and you're going to pay for a replacement." She joked before turning serious, "I do think this would be a good experience for you, but I understand your hesitancy. I will go with you deer."

Al sighed. "Thank you Rosie."

Rosie dressed up a little nicer and came back downstairs and offered her arm to Al. They quickly linked arms and started their walk to the hotel. As they got close they saw a huge pride banner that had been hung from the roof while Al was gone. Al sighed, he was already sick of this month.

Rosie elbowed him lightly, "come on! It'll be fun, I promise."

2 hours and hitting the mandated limit of 2 drinks later, and minimal fun had been had. The most fun he'd had was when Lucifer had accidentally set the kitchen on fire making "pride-ffles" (pride waffles).

Lucifer looked so defeated and the waffels ended up looking like a goth pride flag. Charlie, of course, thanked her dad anyways before he headed up to his room.

Al sat on a seat at the edge of the circle of everyone who were talking and laughing. He sighed, Rosie was in the middle of it all having a blast.

"Y'know, this might be the gayest party I've ever been to." Angel Dust said, getting a laugh from Husk, Rosie, Cherry, and Vaggie.

"Oh, so he gets to say it?" Alastor asked, crossing his arms. The entire room went silent as Angel and Cherry tried to stiffle a laugh. Charlie was slightly mortified and Rosie quickly came over and rested her hand on his. "Deer, when you said it you used it technically as an insult, this was a statement of fact and it's also okay because... well, he is gay."

Al sighed, they had already had this conversation before. "Ah... fine. You're right... I'm sorry Angel for disrespecting you and the other gays-" "queer people" "-when I used gay a couple weeks ago." Angel and Cherry started laughing their heads off.

"Oh no worries Al, we forgive ya." Angel turned to Charlie. "Speaking of my gayness, since you're hosting this pride party Charlie... Do ya know what everyone's sexualality is?"

Charlie took a moment to think, "Well, you're gay, Husk is Pan, I'm bi, Vaggie is lesbian, Cherry you're...?" "Eh, dunno yet, I just fuck who I wanna" "Well, um, okay... Nifty is straight, I think. Al is aroace, and Rosie, you're bi right?"

No one said a word as they just stared at Charlie before all turning to Al. "I'm what now?" Charlie turned red, embarrassed and turned to Rosie mouthing, 'so sorry!' Rosie responded with a sigh and a wave of her hand.

"Wait, the tall strawberry twink over there is aroace? I did not see that coming." Angel said. "Always thought he'd make a good movie star."

"Can someone please enlighten me what this 'aroace' is? And why you are so certain I'm it?" Rosie bit her lip, annoyed, "Al, aroace is short for aromantic asexual. Basically, you aren't romantically or sexualy attracted to anyone. It's part of the lgbt-"

"Wait, so I'm a gay?!" Rosie rubbed her forehead, she was too tired for this crap. "That's why I insisted you come Al... you're one of us, we couldn't leave you out." "You have a lot to learn deer. Starting with the fact that not everyone on the spectrum is gay! The proper term is queer."

"So wait, are you saying that I'm not the only one who's felt this way before? Interesting." Al stumbled up and proclaimed, "In that case, I am indeed aroace. I'm a ga- queer too."

"Sit down deer." Rosie grabbed Al's hand at sat him back down.

The rest of the party went great. Al ended up joining in more and by the end of the night he ended up having a great time.

Al didn't respond.

"Al did you hear me?" He zoned back in and turned to Rosie. "Sorry darling, I must've zoned out."

Al had been doing this more and more often recently, Rosie wasn't sure why. He seemed more distant than ever. "Look Al, you've been doing that more and more recently, is everything okay?"

Al shrugged, "Everything's marvelous."

"Mhmm... that's not true. You've been... distant recently. I'm worried." Rosie stepped closer and tilted her head.

Al took a step back. "It's nothing. I'm just... confused. That's all."

"Confused? About what?" Rosie respected Al's boundary but it worried her more.

Al didn't respond.

"What's going on in those frequencies of yours up there?" Rosie pointed at his forehead and pushed the topic a tad more.

Al finally decided to open up a little and said "I'm confused about us. We've been friends for ages, but we don't act like normal friends."

"What do you mean? Give me an example." Rosie thought she knew where Al was going with this, but wanted to make sure.

"Think of your other friendships and partnerships." Al started. "Think of you act with them. You'd never go on a walk with your arms linked with any of them, would you? Nor would you pick them up and move them around like you do me. What's... what's different about our friendship? Perhaps it isn't right."

"You're right. I wouldn't do that with anyone else. But with you, it's different." Rosie sighed, she didn't know how to explain this to Al. "It doesn't mean this is wrong. Our friendship is just different, we've been friends for... forever. Even before... y'know." She glanced to the side, Al didn't like talking about it.

Al didn't immediately respond, he was lost in thought. "I just don't understand my feelings about it all, darling. They're odd..."

Rosie looked at Al and turned her head. She thought for a moment before saying, "Now I'm not saying anything about anything... but, there is something called a QPR." Al looked up and started paying attention. "It's a sort of friendship that many people in the aroace community end up being a part of."

"Rosie, I thought you said you wouldn't hide stuff about my sexualality anymore." Al squinted and turned his head slightly.

Rosie took a deep breath and told Al, "I have taught you most things about being queer and aroace Al, it's just I haven't taught you about QPRs yet. QPR stands for queer platonic relationship and, like I said, many aroace people end up having one. Now it's not necessary, or anything, just an option. Simplest way to describe what it is, is a friendship that functions similarly to a relationship, except there are no romantic feelings involved."

Al didn't say anything but seemed a little on edge. He waited for Rosie to continue.

"It's more nuanced, of course. It usually happens when two very close friends agree to it." Rosie bit her tongue, hoping Al would finally pick up on a hint.

Alastor's eyes squinted and he suddenly became a little more open to hearing about it. "What sort of things do two people in one do? Is it really everything a normal relationship does?"

Rosie had a spark of hope, but she continued steadily. "Well it's all up to the two people in it, they can do as much ou as little as they agree on. It's very different and open compared to a normal relationship."

Al didn't say anything but thought for a moment before looking back at Rosie. "Sounds interesting. I'd have to think about if that's something I'd ever want to be in."

Rosie nodded, "Of course, there's never a rush. You have a whole afterlife ahead of you after all."

Rosie and Al both nodded with a mutual understanding and they started to gossip about something else. Al did still zone out from time to time throughout the rest of the night, but Rosie didn't mind. He was deep in thought about himself and what he wanted for the future.

Author's Note

I was this close to writing them becoming a qpr in a 3rd section. 🤏 THIS CLOSE. But, as I was rereading everything else I wrote for this week, it wasn't the right time. It felt quite rushed. I even had already written quite a lot of it, but it felt super off. They were characterized mostly right, but it seemed wrong. There must've been too much that happened off camera (writing? What do I call it lol?) and it didn't feel right to rush it. I'd have to do more to lead up to it.

This was originally called 6b, but I think, seeing how I didn't make them official, it being a bonus story is better. I also think, no promises, I will come back to this AU sooner rather than later. (Calling this an AU because no way is Al throwing garlic bread at Rosie canon.) If I do come back, I'm definitely figuring out how to earn making them official.

In terms of how I feel about writing this one? I love the pride party and Al actually learning he's aroace. Going into this one, I knew 2 things. 1. Charlie accidentally let it slip to Al, and 2. Angel caused it to happen. I do see Al as, not necessarily homophonic, but just ignorant to the proper terms. Luckily he's got a Rosie to teach him. Glad to finally finish though, I spent maybe a 3rd of the time working on all these fanfics combined on the two today alone (I'm so tired. I started working on all these fics for the week two weeks before the week began, and finished this one on day 4... and I still have to do day 7).

@radioroseweek

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[biblicalhorror]

Just saw a godawful Instagram reel of a girl making "bi pride" content that included her saying "we used to have Renee Rapp on our side, but she's started calling herself a lesbian now which just reinforces this idea that all of the cool bi girls are actually just closeted gays.... straight people hate us because we remind them that they could be on the queer spectrum and gay people hate us because we are living proof that you can choose to be gay."

I wanna fucking SCREAM girl how is this take even remotely being passed off as """bi pride""" when you spend half the video shitting on lesbians who used to id as bi and the other half implying that everyone in the world is secretly bi and that's why everyone hates us?????

Anyway, just a reminder that this pride we are not doing this shit anymore. We are not dividing ourselves into teams. We are not treating a stranger's desire to adjust their label as they see fit as a personal attack on our own identity. And we are ABSOLUTELY NOT, as bi people, disrespecting lesbians and their right to self-identify, no matter what label they used to use, straight up. Period.

[mission-light-if]

What if someone is very actively flirting with RO, making heart eyes at them, complimenting, smiling sweetly, etc. The MC looks at them from afar. They don't like it, they are jealous and upset, but they can't say anything because they are too shy and not sure if RO likes such attention from this person or not. So, MC just sends sad glances in their direction.

What will the ROs do? (if it's a crush stage)

Okay, so I split this question into two parts:

When the ROs notice the MC but aren’t aware of MC’s feelings.

If the ROs don’t notice the MC, aren’t aware of their feelings, and they just get flirted with.

I assume the ROs have a crush on MC in both cases. (I applied their sexualities too, just for reference: Sinan - straight, Nayla - lesbian, Aneka - bisexual and aromantic, Miguel - gay, Hongyu - bisexual, Marcos/Maria - bisexual, Minhyuk/Miyeon/Min - pansexual).

Sinan:

He is the team leader. The moment he sees anyone looking sad or anything, he will be there, crush or not, MC or any other member. He would reject any flirting woman immediately if he has a crush. He wants to try his best and dedicate his energy always to one woman, who has his interest and heart, at the time.

So that applies here too; if he has a crush, he isn’t interested in anyone until he dates his crush or he is 100% sure that it's not going to work out.

Nayla:

She isn’t really the hook-up type, and to be interested in a woman, she wants to get to know her better. But why get to know a woman better when she already has a crush? She is not interested in getting to know two women at the same time. So she would, of course, come over to MC and ask her if everything is alright. She rejected the other woman to be by her crush's side before MC can even get really sad.

Same as Sinan, if she doesn’t notice MC, she would still decline and probably look for MC afterwards to spend time with her.

Aneka:

(So she is aromantic. Her route is more like a really close platonic friend/queer platonic friendship, and when wanted, with NSFW content, but that’s optional. I will describe her feelings in her route closer. She is similar to me in that I am on the aromantic spectrum too. You can play her route and be romantically into her, but you still have to remember that she is aromantic and may be a bit repulsed by that and unsure how to proceed. There will be multiple ways and endings to fix this later and still be good with her or not.)

Since she is aromantic, people flirting with her will lead nowhere; sometimes she just enjoys listening to them, so she stays, sometimes she don't. MC could still be jealous and hurt. Aneka values people close to her more, and since she doesn’t have a crush, let’s say she feels really close emotionally to the MC. She would definitely see that something is going on and immediately leave the flirty person behind; MC is way more important than some random person.

She would leave the flirty person after a while; she has fun with strangers sometimes, but there has to be strict no strings attached, so if the flirty person shows too much interest or is an asshole, she is out.

Miguel:

Miguel definitely knows when he has a crush on someone; he is really aware of his feelings and may hyperventilate and overthink. That’s why when he notices MC, the man he has a crush on, he is immediately concerned and comes over and makes sure that MC is okay and stays with MC if that is wanted.

If he doesn’t notice the MC but has a crush on the MC, he would either refuse the other man who is flirting with him because he has a crush on MC or go with him, flirt with him in hopes that it would take his mind off his crush even if he feels shitty later.

Hongyu:

He is really good at denying that he has a crush on someone, especially to himself, so he most likely isn’t aware that he has a crush on MC. He would notice that something is going on, however, and come over to MC and ask them if they are okay.

Since he doesn’t know that he has a crush, or well, he hasn’t realized, he would maybe just talk with the flirty person and decide spontaneously if he goes with them, or continues talking, or when he has had enough. He likes to have a good time; it’s nothing more than that for him, everythings starts as a good time for him, it rarely starts because of genuine dates.

Marcos/Maria:

They don’t like being openly directly flirted with, especially in a public setting, too out of their control. They would feel a little uncomfortable. They can get used to it and like it, but it takes time and trust. They like more subtle, indirect ways of flirting from others. They themselves sometimes flirt openly, but only when they do it and can decide the setting and everything, then it's okay for them. They wouldn’t notice MC feeling sad or off, but when they see them, they would use them as a way to get away from the person flirting with them and come over. They aren’t shy; they just don’t like it and often also don’t have the nerve or capacity for it. Plus, also because they are really loyal and share deep connections with some people, and to build that it takes time. They also sometimes think that they are really loyal to a person, but in the end, they have a crush and confuse those things until someone tells them or the person confesses. Similar to Hongyu, who has similar problems. They don’t make the connection why they would betray MC’s loyalty if they flirt with another person that they have a crush on, if MC is their friend. They just don’t want to deal with flirting, and they don’t want to "betray" their "friend".

Same as above, but obviously without them noticing MC, they would still go away from the person flirting.

Min:

They know that they have a crush but try to deny it, so it’s a little different than Hongyu. When they see MC looking sad or down, they would raise an eyebrow and think about going to MC, but then not do it because they are too scared, and they would have to acknowledge their feelings. It would make it real. So they would flirt back with the other person heavily and later regret it, thinking about MC.

They would flirt back and maybe even sleep with the person who is flirting with them, kind of like Miguel in that regard, that they would play along only to forget their crush and regret it later.

I think that this and other questions help you get clearer pictures of the ROs, since they arent in the story yet. you can always send me questions about all the characters or specific characters if you want too :)

(This is how I imagine, planned and wrote the characters, it could be however, that at one point when I am writing, some things change. I mean its a WIP and characters evolve with time and writing and ideas etc.)

Sometimes I ask myself if I give too much away help, hahaha :)