#why is this so adorable?!?!?!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Expertise can't help you here.

[thegleampt2fromtheglowpt22001]

ppl on Twitter have for no reason I can tell rediscovered Mighty Jill Off, thee cute indie platformer abt lesbian BDSM from 2008. I have no idea why it's gaining traction again but I just thot u all on here wld like 2 b part ov that 2

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

[egophiliac]

buckle up lads we're going BACK INTO THE BOOK

[lotus-pear]

ok gayboy

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[mischiefbuckley]

Oliver correcting the woman during the interview and taking a moment to pause and reflect and saying “uncovered about himself, he discovered in his mid thirties now that he identifies as bisexual” in regards to Buck’s sexuality on the show when responding back after she had said “you had to switch roles. your sexuality changed on the show which was a really big turning point” like bless that man so much he cares so much about the representation and always since day one defending bisexual Buck like we truly are blessed having Oliver playing our bisexual icon Buck 🥹🩷💜💙

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

Donna Noble really got in the TARDIS and on trip number ONE like ONLY the FIRST trip she was like we are going to change history to save a single family because that is how it should work so that is how it does and then on trip number TWO on the SECOND trip she was like we are going to destroy an entire culture of slavery because it is right I don't care if we're two people and then on the THIRD trip she was like I am going to be unbelievably brave to save my home and everyone I love and then on the FOURTH trip she was like no living breathing thinking creature is less than a person and how dare you try to dehumanise someone like that how dare you not give her a name and the list GOES ON this woman NEVER MISSED there goes one of the kindest bravest most constant women you might ever meet and she's a temp from Chiswick

[charliexspring]

comfort blanket.

[hollis-art]

i think about the 30th Anniversary Star Trek Barbie and Ken set so much actually,,, look at them go

[nctrlips]

wait this is so adorable aaaaa the way he double checks the steering wheel after every race ?? im gonna shed tears ohhhh this man yall credits to @81pitlane on twt for this vid <3

[scalematey]

god like. the funniest thing about adaine abernant to me is that she is sooooo petty. she is so deeply capable of being a mean bitch. she used to be chronically anxious but she’s medicated now and that was the only thing holding her back from being born a hater and dying a hater. she loves her friends and the supportive environment that her new family gives her but this is also the same character who at fifteen years old (deservedly) told an incel he sucked multiple times over to his face and sent her sister who sucks to elf prison

[yakichoufd]

doodles inspired by that bobby/scott fic

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt in Memes 5

Once more, have a prompt entirely in memes because I'm too lazy to properly write one right now lol.

[egophiliac]

everyone out of the way, this is the only thing I'm going to be thinking about from now on.

(okay, there is one more thing)

[ghschk]

Literally can't stop thinking about them.....

🥹💛💜