#why is this part of the curriculum??
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shout out to cliffsnotes
i REALLY do not want to read a school assigned book about racism men fighting for their racism rights
#cliffsnotes supremecy#its the killer angels#its awful#i cant get past the second page#but im supposed to be 2/3 done :/#i have really strong feelings about this#its about CONFEDERATES in the civil war#like wtf#why is this part of the curriculum??#oh right i live in a white ass community in the middle of 'murica#fuck this country#im moving to sweden or some place with no capitalism#dear god sorry i just spilled a lot of feelings out#sorry#ill just...#bye
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Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...
You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.
And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?
(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)
Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?
You can't think about yourself— acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.
You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.
#Dimension 20#fig faeth#fhjy#Idle Chatter#my last two years of college were when I started to get more and more nauseous about my own art#because I wasn't being taught how to make the art I wanted to make#the whole curriculum's focus was on gallery art#which infuriated me! I wanted to make art that didn't have to involve twelve layers of meaning and metaphor to be considered good!!#so I drove myself into the ground time and again trying to make (miserable) work that I thought would fit the criteria of a Real Artist#anyway it's been 4 years and I'm just now picking at why I don't enjoy creating anymore so Fig's whole arc has hit home in a major way#ALSO. AAAAALSO. THE ADHD STRUGGLE WE SEE WITH BOTH FIG AND KRISTEN. LOVING SOMETHING BUT STILL STRUGGLING WITH FOLLOW THROUGH#BEING TOLD YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH WHEN IT'S SO FUCKING HARD JUST TO GET WHERE EVERYONE ELSE IS AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IT'S HARD FOR YOU#it was easy and now that the rubber's hit the road it's hard for you but not for others so it must be YOU that's the problem#you must be lazy or stupid or just not suited to this after all even though it's part of a pattern that has been happening all your life#if you were good enough or cared enough then surely the discipline would come easily to you! the way it comes easily to all your classmates#SCREAMS I gotta stop before I write a second essay in the tags. I'm so normal you can trust me to be normal about D&D characters
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By implying that children are too stupid and rude to learn about the world and learn how the world works and how to interact with others, you are casting responsibility away from the people who are responsible for that child's upbringing and placing the blame on the children (who don't have the autonomy given to them to be allowed to decide what they want) who can't help what they do and do not learn, often.
If the children aren't okay, then investigate why before turning to thought-terminating clichés of, "Well, the kids are just stupid and dumb and aren't even worth the effort because they're lazy!"
#youth liberation#i was really bothered when i saw this clip where this person was saying almost verbatim that...#...'kids [these days] are too STUPID and they're teachers are scared!'...#...why is the blame placed on the kids who have no control over school curriculum and what their home life is like or if they have money...#...it's because when you place the blame on the people with no power or control you don't have the responsibility to change circumstances..#...you essentially keep the status quo while simultaneously belittling a group of vulnerable people...#...and thus you feed into the cyclical nature of the broken education system#the kids these days AREN'T okay but it ISN'T THEIR FAULT...#...it's the fault of late-stage capitalism and poorly-funded education and a world that wasn't even built with them in mind...#...they had NO PART in the creation of the world which is hostile to their entire existence#don't mind the incorrect usage of their in the second tag i was so focused on how pissed i was#also remember how a good chunk of these kids lived through *checks notes* the fucking PANDEMIC LOCKDOWN#which was a clown show in terms of supporting kids and their parent/s#some places handled lockdown in the US better than others but holy fuck in my area at least it was a nightmare#what do you expect from parents who are now working full-time and teaching part/full-time and parenting full-time?#what support exactly are you expecting they recieved? because you'll likely find they got either a little or NONE#hilarious that i used the wrong their in a post subtweeting about education LOL#look i was focused on how PISSED i was lol cut me some slack here
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#wanna shoot myself in the head#bored restless angry lil anxious#i don’t really wanna listen to music lately#too many love songs#i don’t really know why anyone does anything in this life#wish i was filthy rich#wanna go to art school#but maybe art wouldn’t make me happy either i don’t know#born hater#everything is fine i’m just neurotic#its like i’m trying to touch the world through a layer of cling film#i wanna be a person too#the feeling will never go away. it won’t matter where i am because i am the foreign body#today i will try to take measures to speed up my laptop#downloaded this circuit analysis software for class last friday#took a lifetime and a half#gonna start leetcoding#and even tho it’s not part of the curriculum i also wanna learn html and css#i need a shower#this song is good#Spotify
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University ever pushes you so low you have to go buy a couple of beers? /srs/neg
I'm gonna vent in the tags for a moment humor me for once /gen
#No but I'm serious this place is a nightmare /neg#Venting in the tags#humor me for a second. you go to this uni and they promise you a place that will teach you how to become an artist#on both like. morality and skill level. they feed you with bullshit for MONTHS. “oh mistakes are fine! they make you grow!”#or “oh this is a community we work all together there are no discriminations this is a safe place to learn and improve”#and we like. work on this projects - THAT WE ARE NOT PAID TO WORK FOR SO *WE* GET TO PAY FOR ALL THE MATERIALS AND SHIT FOR THEM.#to like “help the community” or whatevrr because “artists are born to inspire others and bring joy” and blah blah blah. BUT. LIKE. THE THING#THE THING IS. NONE OF THESE PROJECTS WILL END UP ON OUR CURRICULUMS. WHAT WE WORK 6-7 YEARS FOR ARE NOT SEEN AS REAL EXPERIENCES.#AS IF WE'VE DONE LITERALLY NOTHING FOR 6-7 YEARS. AND LIKE. THE PROFESSORS ARE SO RACIST AND DISCRIMINATORY AS WELL.#If they don't like you they WON'T EVEN GIVE YOU THE EXAM. BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY TO DEMONSTRATE IF YOU WORKED OR NOT. IT'S UP TO THEM.#THEY DECIDE EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE AS IF WE ARE SOME SORT OF FUCKING COMMUNIST KINDA BULLSHIT WORKERS.#Someone fucks up? *WE* FUCK UP AND EVERYONE PAYS. Someone succeeds? *WE* SUCCEED AND EVERYONE GETS THE CREDITS.#THIS IS ALSO WHY NONE OF THE WORKS WE DO END UP IN OUT CURRICULUM BECAUSE ITS MADE SO THAT *THE UNIVERSITY COURSE* DID IT AND NOT *US*.#IT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT AND I CAN'T EVEN GET OUT OF THERE BECAUSE IF I DO MY PARENTS WILL KICK ME OUT CUZ THEY DON'T WANT ME TO BE AN ARTIST#So I'm trying to STUDY for the exams and the “professors” are getting mad at me that I'm not staying 10 HOURS IN THAT MOTHERFUCKING ART LAB.#WORKING AT THEIR NONSENSE PROJECTS THAT WILL NOT END UP IN MY CURRICULUM.#“Oh if you're not willing to put all your efforts for the course this is not the place for you” BITCH I *AM* PUTTING ALL MY EFFORTS!#THIS EXAM IS *LITERALLY* PART OF THE COURSE!! WHAT KIND OF FUCKING BULLSHIT ARGUMENT IS THAT!!!!!#Istg I'm gonna cry I want to kms /NOT SERIOUS#I'm gonna cook dinner. chug my lemon beer. and try to study like a normal person and beg this shit will end soon#Don't worry I'm not going to become an alcoholic I just need something. anything and I'm ABSOLUTELY not gonna start smoking I hate it /srs#tw alchohol mention#alcohol mention#tw smoking mention#smoking mention#vent#tw vent#// mike speaks
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Fuck books. I want a gun.
#i need to either stop following the news or start firebombing#arson is sadly neglected part of the decolonization curriculum#monkey see inglorious bastards monkey do#i can't believe i was a pacifist all this time. 'non-violent protest'. what kind of imbecile.#someone should dig up gandhi so we can shoot him again. and then one more time for being a creepy fuck#so many nukes in the world and none of them falling on either israel or the united states#yes i am coming unglued. why do you ask#knee of huss#crack#glory to the resistance
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I’m tired af so not sure how coherent this is but like. Something that bothers me a lot lately: unschooling. Specifically how it’s catching on as an excuse to neglect kids. Part of this, other than the obvious, is because *I* was unschooled for a good chunk of my childhood, but my parents actually put in a whole lot of effort to encourage my learning. If I wasn’t interested in something important, then they’d find a way to make me interested, no matter how difficult I was being. I recognize that most kids don’t have positive outcomes with unschooling and I think it’s because of how much effort it requires from the parents, and so many parents either can’t or won’t do that. I don’t want mine associated with people like that, not when they worked so hard for me.
#max’s rambles#im a dumbass a lot of the time but that has nothing to do with them. my dumbassery is my own#also feel free to ask me questions about how they did stuff and how things worked#part of why they did it was because my public school was awful#and they couldnt find any nonreligious homeschool curriculum#so they said fuck it we’re doing our own thing#and when i say awful i mean my kindergarten teacher told me i was going to burn in hell and called me slurs. i was a kindergartner.
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Why the same profs who tell me I make great contributions when I actually show up to the classes and have so much potential to do well in this field are pressuring me to take more courses than I wish to take at once??!?,,?.!!,?..?. Shut up
#.#lib hell lib hell lib hell#why even allow students to enroll part time if ur gonna change the curriculum constantly and be a fucking dick about them not progressing#at the same rate as ur other cohorts of full time students Jesus Christ
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wild fucking åmål’s on netflix now they should add hipp hipp hora too to complete the “swedish movies every norwegian middle schooler in the late 2000s early 2010s had to watch in norwegian class” collection
#txt#if you’re wondering why we watched Swedish movies in Norwegian class#We watched all kinds of movies really once we watched Brokeback Mountain#But the real answer is as part of the curriculum or at the time anyway#We’re supposed to familiarise ourselves with Swedish and Danish#we were*#I think the goal was actually that we were to be able to understand both spoken and written for both
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#oh my fucking god I gotta vent real quick here#'cause I'm icing my rl friends atm and need to get it off my chest#(I'm a bit frustrated with them rn)#anyway#life advice#do NOT go into business school if you don't wanna end up with project groups filled with incompetent people#men are ridiculously confident and do shit work completely incoherent with the syllabus#and I thought I was gonna ace with women-only group for another subject but guess what#I get that part of it is probably 'cause I'm in my last years and having classes with younger (frustrating as hell) years#so I'm lacking some patience probably#(for the record it's not 100% my fault I'm behind with the curriculum and taking these subjects)#but what makes everything worse#it's that I dislike almost all of this semester's professors#and in the classes I do take with people from my own year#bitches are like why don't we do this project at FUCKING ELEVEN PM#and yeah we all study and have jobs so time is scarce#but jesus christ can we pls schedule things ahead of time at least???#and not with 1 hour (or less) in advance??#got carried away#but I'm just so fucking annoyed#wow#tiny bit better just by writing it down
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the thing is i am SO BAD AT ARABIC but I love my arabic lessons even if they are at 6am and extremely sporadic due to my terrible scheduling... I will learn I will keep learning!!!
#natakallam program I LOVE U#I need to do better about actually keeping up with learning between them and like... Consuming arab media!!!!!!!#Sometimes I'm like.... Why do I keep doing it bc I've basically done 3yrs without curriculum#And I mean even less structured since postgrad#But it's bc... I do love it!!!!#Even if I'm bad and sooo nervy#But there's gonna be way more opportunities when I move which is part of why i want to move to where I'm going#I WILL be making my friends go to this Arab film festival in May!!!!!!!!!!#Me to my friend the other day: I don't understand how mikel arteta just learned Italian for fun#My friend:.... Is That not what you do with Arabic#Me:... Wait.
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I agree about the interests thing but genuinely what's so bad about asking about school? It's the thing that's likely to have changed the least from when we were young and can engage with on both sides?
Are teens really anti-social and non-conversational and stuck on their phones or are you just trying to form a conversation while asking them about stuff like their school curriculum (a tedious repetitive thing they at best suffer and at worst suffer from) while dissmissing them whenever they attempt to talk about their interests?
#teenagers are learning to socialize and talking to adults is also part of that?#adults should take an interest in learning about what teens like outside of school for a multitude of reasons#also calling the school curriculum “a tedious repetitive thing” is almost degrading?#teens infamously dont love school sure but why are we encouraging this attitude
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I feel like you’d be an incredible person to have a conversation with, like you’d be very interesting to talk to
I feel like I’m a yapper and you’d get sick of me in 5 minutes
#like the way this blog is becoming a stream of consciousness imagine that times a billion#but that is so very sweet thank you ily#I’m also kinda clueless about a lot of stuff I just have a lot to say about specific things#like I thought Brazil was in Spain for longer than I want to admit#but I could talk about why Little Women is a work of genius that should be a mandatory part of school curriculum until I’m blue in the face#like it really does just depend on what you find interesting lmao
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i am very excited to study for my history of religion exam BUT i realised it’s way harder than i originally thought. i have two weeks😩😩😩
#I CHOSE THIS EXAM#i went out of my way to do this exam that was not part of my university course#i asked the uni three times in order to put it in my curriculum and now i just have to suck it up#why did i thought an exam about theology was good for my brain?#mic
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Heroes (Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader)
A/N: I think I used David Bowie's "Heroes" for another fic when I first started writing on this blog. Oh well. We're using it again bc it inspired this fic. This is a combo request fic: Co-teachers/Logan having a nightmare/smut. Hope you guys enjoy!
Summary: You and Logan are assigned by Charles to co-teach a class to learn how to work as a team. You expect Logan to be cold, distant, short. What you don't expect is the way you find yourself needing him, and him needing you.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI!!! SMUT! Dry humping, Oral (f!receiving), Fingering, Unprotected PIV (wrap it up), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, soft!Logan, cocky!Logan (always), softdom!Logan vibes, implied age gap (Logan is obvi older), frenemies to lovers, feelings, some violence (Logan accidentally hurts the reader while having a nightmare), reader has regenerative powers, fluff, hurt to comfort (literally), reader has family trauma, afab!/f!reader, cursing, def some grammatical errors, I think that's it!
Word Count: 5,267 kinda wanna do a part 2 this was cute
“I work better alone Charles. You know that.”
You and Logan Howlett never did see eye to eye.
“Yes, Logan. Which is why I’m giving you this challenge.”
He was always cold.
“I don’t think this is a good idea.”
Always distant.
“Hence why it is an excellent idea, Logan.”
But you never thought he’d be this resistant to teaching a class with you.
“I’m fine with it,” you say, your eyes flitting between Logan and Charles. “It doesn’t faze me at all.”
Logan’s leather jacket crinkles and he puts his hands on his hips. He furrows his brows. “You’re fine with this?” He asks, cocking his head to the side.
You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t see why not.” Your eyes find Logan’s, but you can’t make out the expression on his face. Can’t tell if it’s dislike, pure hatred, or something else altogether.
“This can’t happen,” Logan insists, tearing his eyes away from yours and turning towards the Professor. His words sting and you’re not quite sure why—not sure why you should care about this at all.
“It is too late,” Charles’s voice booms. “I have already decided. You will co-teach a history class for...” Charles trails off, choosing his words carefully. “Younger students.”
You smile, but Logan rolls his eyes, his brows still furrowed. “How young?” You say in unison, although in starkly different tones. You whip your head to face Logan and find that his eyes are already on you.
“Ages six to seven,” Charles explains. “This will be a smaller class, given how rare it is for children of that age to show their abilities, and the course will be incredibly simple.” He rolls away from behind the desk and approaches you and Logan in the center of the room. “I have faith that the two of you can handle this.”
Logan exhales deeply but doesn’t say a word. “We can,” you answer, your stare breaking away from Logan and turning to the Professor instead. “I look forward to teaching the class,” you pause, “with Logan.”
Something in Logan’s glare softens. His frown slowly disappears, melting away. His jaw relaxes, and his shoulders go slack. “Fine.” He’s curt, but something about the resolve in his voice gives you an ounce of hope that maybe, just maybe this will go well.
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This is, in fact, not going well at all.
Agreeing on the curriculum was not a problem. Logan, having experienced most of U.S. History, believes in telling history as it happened. No rose-colored glasses. No murky half-truths or prettily wrapped white lies. No weird Christopher Columbus-themed arts and crafts. Having seen multiple wars and experiencing the power of government exploitation firsthand—not surprisingly—has made Logan progressive.
So, you had designed an age-appropriate, honest, curriculum. You were shocked at how well you and Logan worked together. You shared quiet hours in the library, passing scribblings and notes back and forth while pouring over books. You actually felt quite confident.
That is, until the very first class.
You and Logan had only just introduced yourselves—written your names on the board.
“We are going to have a fun, educational year,” you finish, smiling widely. “Does anyone have any questions?”
A young girl in the center of the room raises her hand. You nod towards her, and she smiles sheepishly. “Are you two married?”
You’re taken back, your brows furrowing. “Oh, um—”
“No,” Logan cuts you off, his arms crossing tightly against his chest. His shortness hurts more than you’re willing to admit. “Absolutely not.”
The little girl’s eyes widen. “But then why do you look at her like that?”
“Excuse me?” Logan asks, his voice a little too harsh. “Like what, kid?”
“Logan,” you whisper, turning to face him. “She’s six. Let it go,” you chide. “Professor Logan and I are friends and co-teachers. That’s all.” You turn back to the little girl, who nods, but she doesn’t look convinced.
The rest of the class goes relatively well. It’s very introductory—teaching the children how mutant history and human history are intertwined. You and Logan are able to simplify things for the children so that they can understand. And, as the class goes on, Logan seems more comfortable with the children.
The period is almost over when a little boy raises his hand, and Logan calls on him. “My older brother told me people like us are scary,” he says shyly. His eyes are sad—too tired for a six-year-old. “He told me that we shouldn’t exist.”
Your stomach drops, tears burning behind your sinuses. You think back to your own family, back to the trauma of being disowned for something you couldn’t control. You’re too heartbroken to tackle the question. Logan’s eyes flicker between you and the little boy.
“Your brother is wrong,” Logan answers, crossing the room to stand next to you. He brings a hand to your lower back. It’s the ghost of a touch, but it’s a lifeline. “You’re special,” Logan says, and you know he’s talking to you, too. “You all are. Don’t listen to what they say. You’re more important than you’ll ever know. More extraordinary than they can understand.”
The bell rings, and the children stand, collecting their belongings. “See you all tomorrow,” Logan shouts over the shuffling and ruckus in the hallway. The children file out the door, jumping and cheering as if nothing happened.
“They’re so resilient,” you say, shaking your head and watching them leave. You look over to Logan—his face close to yours, his palm still pressed against your back.
“So are you,” he whispers, smiling softly, rubbing up and down your back. “You did great.”
“Yes, she did. And you did too, Logan,” Charles says, suddenly in the doorway to the classroom. “I forgot to drop off the roll call this morning,” Charles explains, holding out a sheet of paper. You cross the room to meet him, taking the sheet into your hands. “It has the list of names of the children in your class, as well as their abilities.” Charles backs into the hallway. “Excellent work, you two. You make a better team than you realize.”
“Thank you, Professor,” you say. Logan mumbles a soft Thanks, and heads towards the door once Charles is gone.
He scratches his head, almost nervously. “Got another class to teach,” he husks. “Meet up later to go over tomorrow’s lesson plan?”
You nod your head. “Sounds good.” Logan smiles and walks through the doorway and down the hall.
You look at the roll call, and your eyes widen. Your heart beats out of your chest. You find the name of the little girl who had asked if you and Logan were married.
Claire Teller—Precognition, Clairvoyance, shows signs of potential telekinesis.
The paper falls from your hands and drifts slowly to the floor. You look down, your lips parted in shock. Did she see you and Logan—
“You alright, sugar?” Rogue’s voice snaps you back to reality. You look up, and she’s standing in the door.
“Y-yeah,” you stutter, shaking your head. “I’m fine.”
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The rest of the week goes smoothly. You and Logan meet each night to discuss the lesson plan for the following day. The classes go well. Claire always seems a bit distracted, her eyes flickering between you and Logan, but she does just fine in class.
In fact, you’d say this was going better than well. You and Logan, despite his hesitation in the beginning, were growing closer every day.
It’s written in secret, stolen moments—hands accidentally brushing, glances across the room. But you can feel it, the way your lives are being sewn together. You find ways to spend time alone outside of class—ordering dinner and grading together, practicing in the Danger Room as partners and not opponents. You had become something of a team.
Tonight, you’re alone with Logan, sitting on the floor of his room, grading the small quiz you had given the children on the branches of government. Logan had picked the background music—60s and 70s rock.
You hum along to Evil Woman by Electric Light Orchestra as you write “100%” at the top of a student’s quiz.
“Pretty voice,” Logan rasps, looking up from his last quiz. Before you can react, before you can even process what he says, he’s moving on. “You almost done?”
“Just finished.” You write another “100%” and look up at Logan. He’s on his side, resting his head in his hand, balancing on his elbow. He smirks and stands up, striding over to you. He reaches his hand out, and you tilt your head, confused. You take his hand all the same, and he pulls you up.
Logan’s hands find your waist, and he sways you from side to side. You giggle, shakily bringing your arms up and around his neck. Your heart thunders in your chest as you dance with him.
“Didn’t take you for a dancer,” you murmur. Evil Woman fades out and Heroes by David Bowie starts up.
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” Logan husks. He pulls you in tighter, his chest pressed to yours.
“Yeah?” You ask, letting your head rest in the crook of his neck. Your eyes flutter closed. “Like what?”
He’s suddenly silent, and you can feel the tension thicken in the room. “When Charles came to us about the class…” He trails off, searching for the right words to say. “I was nervous,” he admits.
You lift your head from his neck. “Why?” You question, smiling softly.
Logan presses his forehead to yours. “Because I—” But then there’s a knock at the door. “Logan?” It’s Charles on the other side. Logan huffs, his eyes closing defeatedly as he loosens his hold on your waist and walks over to the door.
“There has been an emergency,” Charles says the second the door is open. “I need you to go on a mission immediately. This is a dire situation.”
Logan looks across the room to you. “Okay,” he says, his eyes still trained on yours.
Charles nods and heads down the hallway. “Meet me downstairs. Hank is readying the jet now.”
“I have a bad feeling about this,” you confess, fighting the tears brimming at the corners of your eyes. You can’t quite place where the feeling is coming from—why you’re suddenly so nervous about Logan leaving. A month ago, this sort of thing would’ve felt routine, normal. There’s always a crisis somewhere.
Logan swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “I’ll come back,” he promises. “And we can talk then.” He strides over to you, wrapping you in his arms, and pulling you into his chest. “Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.”
“Logan?” Charles calls from downstairs. “We need to leave at once!”
Logan squeezes you tightly before letting go. He works his jaw, his teeth gritting as he backs out of the room and down the hallway. Your heart drops as you listen to his footsteps echoing against the stairs. By the time you muster up the courage to follow him, it’s too late. The door to the mansion slams just as you make it to the bottom of the steps.
You can still hear Heroes faintly playing from Logan’s room.
And the guns, shot above our heads (over our heads) And we kissed, as though nothing could fall (nothing could fall) And the shame, was on the other side Oh we can beat them, forever and ever Then we could be Heroes, just for one day
You sit on the bottom step, your head falling into your hands.
“Oh, sugar,” Rogue whispers as she walks into the foyer. She settles next to you. “I didn’t know you and Logan…” She trails off, shaking her head. “He’ll come back. He always does.” She hangs her arm around your shoulder, tugging you into her chest.
You hope she’s right.
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The next morning, Logan is still gone. You’re forced to teach the class alone. As you’re starting roll call, a young boy raises his hand.
“Yes, Jimmy?” You call, arching your brows.
“Where’s Professor Logan?” He asks curiously, tilting his head to the side.
You swallow harshly, inhaling deeply. “He has something to take care of,” you explain. “It’ll just be me teaching today. Is that alright with you?” You try to sound light, jovial, plastering a fake smile across your face. The kids buy it, giggling and nodding. Jimmy smiles widely and nods, too.
But Claire—the little girl who can seemingly see into the future, stares at you sympathetically. It sends a chill down your spine. It’s like she knows how you’re feeling—can see it in her mind’s eye. You shake the feeling off, proceeding with the lesson. The material is distracting enough—the U.S. voting system, carefully explained so that the children can understand.
The rest of the class goes off without a hitch, and the bell finally rings. The session felt longer than usual without Logan, and certainly harder to get through, but not impossible. The class picks up their belongings and files out. You grab your papers, readying to leave, assuming that everyone is gone.
“He’s going to come back,” a small, familiar voice whispers. You look up from your materials, and there’s Claire, standing in front of the desk. Her deep, brown eyes twitch back and forth. She closes them tightly and smiles. “You don’t have to worry,” she assures. “He’s safe. He’ll always come back to you.” She pauses. “All I see is happiness.” The veins in her temples grow thicker, and you can tell she’s working too hard to look to the future.
“Claire,” you say, your hand grabbing her shoulder. “Don’t hurt yourself, my love. You don’t have to do that for me. I’m okay.”
Her eyes fly open, and she smiles widely, as if nothing happened. She steps away from the desk, your hand falling from her shoulder. “Didn’t hurt at all!” She calls as she skips out the door. “See you Monday!”
You shake your head. Resilient, you think to yourself. So goddamn resilient.
The rest of the evening is slow. You try to keep yourself busy—grading papers, listening to music, going for a run, training in the Danger Room. But all you can think about is Logan.
After dinner, you get ready for bed, changing into a pair of panties and an oversized t-shirt. You sit alone in your room, on your bed, reminding yourself of what Claire had told you this afternoon.
He’s going to come back. You don’t have to worry. He’s safe.
You lay back on your pillows, bringing the covers up to your chin and closing your eyes. You repeat her words over and over again in your head as you fall asleep. He’s safe. He’s safe. He’s safe.
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You wake up a few hours later, your bedside lamp still on. Your alarm clock reads 1:45 AM. You groan, rolling over and shutting your eyes tightly, trying to force yourself back to sleep. But it’s no use—you’re awake, thinking of Logan already.
You push yourself to sit up, swinging your legs over the side of the bed, and pressing your feet into the cold wood floors below. You walk to your door, twist the knob, and head out into the hallway. A lap around the mansion might make you tired—might relax you.
You walk down the hallway slowly, noticing instantly that Logan’s door is closed. You can’t help but pick up your pace, striding towards Logan’s room.
You stand in front of his door, your hand on the knob, ready to twist and push. You stop yourself, wondering if this is crossing a line, tearing down a carefully constructed boundary. But all you want is to see him breathing, lying on his bed. You need to know he’s in there—safe.
You knock once, but there’s no answer. You swallow nervously, twisting the knob and pushing the door open.
Your heart stops. There he is. He’s home. He’s safe. He’s breathing. You let out a sigh of relief, smiling softly as you start to close the door.
But then his head snaps to the side, and he grunts. “Logan?” You call, opening the door slightly. He doesn’t answer. He grunts again. You quickly notice the way his fists white-knuckle his sheets.
You step inside his room, closing the door behind you. “Lo,” you whisper into the darkness. He tosses and turns, his head whipping from side to side. He must be having a nightmare, You think to yourself, your heart breaking in two, watching pain wrack his body, his mind.
You meet his side, placing a hand on his shoulder and shaking him softly. “Logan,” you say, your voice louder, stronger this time. “You need to wake up.” But he doesn’t. He groans, his brows furrowed, sweat beading his forehead.
“Come on,” you plead, climbing into the bed, and straddling him. You hold him down by his shoulders, stopping him from writhing. Now that you’re closer, you can see the tears streaming down his cheeks, can see the agony etched into the lines of his face. “Logan!” You yell. “You gotta wake—”
His eyes fly open, and you feel cold metal pierce your leg. Your jaw drops as pain stings sharply in your thigh. “Oh fuck,” Logan curses, sitting up and retracting his claws. Tears brim in the corners of your eyes as the pain worsens. “Shit!” He cries out, grabbing at your thigh, blood spilling into his fingers.
You close your eyes as your powers take hold. Your skin slowly stitches up, putting yourself together again. You groan, and Logan wraps his arms around you, holding you tight against his chest. “I’m so sorry,” he mumbles into the side of your head, pressing soft, gentle kisses there. “I love you, I’m so sorry sweetheart.”
What did he just say?
“W-what?” You ask, the pain fading away as those three words echo in your mind.
Logan’s breathing only quickens as he realizes what he said. “A-are you okay?” He asks, ignoring your question.
You nod. “It’s already gone,” you whisper, nodding to your thigh. “But what did you just—”
“I love you,” he interrupts, saying it again. You pull back a bit to look at him. You can see the seriousness in his eyes, the adoration, the honesty. “I love you.”
You bite your lip, your eyes widening as you process what this means. Logan loves you. It’s everything you ever wanted. Everything you could have asked for. It just makes sense.
“I love you too,” you confess, choking on your words. “I was so worried. I didn’t know when you’d come back, or if you’d come back at all. I saw your door closed, and I just had to see you. I needed to know that you were okay, that you came home.”
He presses his forehead to yours, his eyes closing. “Before I left,” he pauses, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “I was going to tell you why I didn’t want to work together.” His eyes open again. “I was scared to get close to you,” he explains. “I knew I wanted you the second I saw you. Knew I had to have you. I’ve never felt that way before. You opened something inside me that I thought I didn’t have. Turns out it was just locked, waiting around for you.”
“Logan,” you breathe, his lips just inches from yours. “I wanted you too. Wanted you this whole time.” You need him to kiss you—to take you right here and now. “I thought you didn’t like me,” you admit, giggling softly.
He shakes his head, smirking. “I liked you too much,” he rasps. “Didn’t know what to do about it. You were driving me crazy, sweetheart.” You can feel his erection straining in his boxers, and you can’t help but grind down on him, your core rocking against his cock. “Fuck,” he groans, gripping your hips. “Slow down, pretty girl. Are you sure you’re okay?”
You nod emphatically. “Already healed,” you assure him. “Just need you, Lo.”
“Need you too, sweetheart,” Logan groans, rolling your hips against his, tugging you down his length. “Can feel you soaking through those panties already,” he grunts. And he’s right. The heat pooling between your legs is uncontrollable.
You groan as your clit drags across his erection. “F-fuck,” you stutter, his fingers digging into your hips. You bring your hands to the waistband of his boxers, tugging at them. But before you can get anywhere, Logan is flipping you onto your back and crawling down your body.
“Next time, sweetheart,” he coos, hiking your shirt up and smirking when he sees you aren’t wearing a bra. He palms your breasts, tweaking your nipples before sliding down further. “Wanna take care of you this first time.”
Your heart flutters in your chest at his words. You can see the hunger in his eyes as he kisses down your stomach, going past the hem of your panties, stopping at your clit. He takes a deep breath. “Can smell that pretty pussy. Know she needs me, darlin’.”
He hooks his fingers into your waistband, and tugs the thin lace down your legs, revealing your aching cunt to him. He settles between your thighs, his lips pressing a soft kiss to your clit.
“L-Lo,” you choke. “Please.”
He smiles against you, breathing you in again. “Please what, princess?” He asks, looking up at you under hooded eyes. “Tell me what you need.”
“You,” you beg. “Need you. Always gonna need you.”
His smile meets his eyes as he licks a long stripe through your folds, his tongue pushing through your entrance, tasting you, savoring you. He hums against you, the vibration of his voice rocking your core. “Tastes so good,” he mumbles, licking another long stripe. “Perfect pussy. Knew you’d be this sweet.”
You watch as he laps at you, drinking you in. Logan’s tongue finds your clit, drawing tight circles into the bud. “F-feels so good,” you stutter.
“I know, beautiful” He soothes, his fingers trailing up your inner thigh, drawing closer to your heat. “You look so pretty when you let me eat you out,” he praises, his fingers prodding your entrance. “You want more?” He teases, slipping just past your slit and quickly pulling out.
“Yes,” you whimper, pleasure coursing through your veins. “Need your fingers, Lo. Please.”
He wastes no time—suddenly thrusting inside you, his long, thick fingers splitting you in two. Your walls flutter around him, sucking him in, taking him deeper. “So tight,” he coos, pulling out and sliding back in. “So fucking wet.”
Logan wraps his lips around your clit, his cheeks hollowing as he sucks, hard. He releases, his teeth grazing the bud lightly. Your walls clench around his fingers at the sensation. “Fuck,” Logan curses, smirking against you. “You like that?” He teases. “Like when I’m rough with you?” His tongue flits out, lapping flat strokes across your clit.
You moan a soft Yes in affirmation, your back arching off the mattress. You’re already close, ready to let go. But Logan isn’t letting up, his fingers slamming into you, taking your clit back into his mouth and sucking harder, rougher this time. He swirls soothing circles into the bud, pushing you to the edge.
“Logan,” you whine, your hips squirming as he drags his tongue harder against your heat. “I’m so close.”
Your muscles contract and release around his fingers as he hits that sweet spot inside you, pump after pump. “I know, pretty girl,” He soothes, his free hand wrapping around your hip and holding you down to the mattress. “Look at you,” he praises between harsh sucks. “So beautiful like this.” His tongue circles your overstimulated clit. “Already fucked out, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” you mutter, your hips squirming helplessly against his grip. It’s all too much, his hushed whispers, his praises, the way his tongue flits against you, his deep thrusts dragging along your walls. “Logan, I’m gonna…”
“That’s it, pretty girl,” Logan coaches, his tongue still lapping at you ravenously. He’s starving, unwilling to stop. He needs more. “Should keep you in my bed so I can taste you whenever I want.” He grunts against you. “Want you to come on my fingers, darlin’. Wanna taste it. Let go.”
It’s all blazing, white-hot heat, raging through your body, searing your skin. Your eyes stay trained on Logan as he works you through your orgasm—ravaging you, lapping up every last drop of your release. His fingers pump in and out, slowly, before he pulls out completely. But his face stays buried against your cunt, his tongue pushing through your folds.
“Logan,” you whine, lacing your fingers through his hair. “Need you up here.”
He looks up from your heat and licks one more long stripe before climbing up your body. He tugs his boxers down his legs, his eyes not leaving yours. His cock springs free, bumping against his stomach.
Logan settles on top of you, balancing on his forearm as his free hand wraps around the base of his cock. You instinctually spread your legs, as if it’s second nature, as if you’ve been here before. “Such a good girl,” Logan praises, sliding his tip through your folds. “All spread open for me.” His cock nudges against your clit and slides back down. “You need me, sweetheart?”
“Yes,” you choke. “More than you can—”
And then he’s plunging inside you, bottoming out with just one thrust. “Fuck!” You cry out. He stays inside, unmoving, letting you adjust to the size of him.
He presses his forehead to yours. “You okay?” He asks. His cock throbs, pushing against your walls, searching for more. His hand slips between your bodies and finds your clit.
“Y-yes,” You stutter, sighing in relief as his fingertips draw gentle strokes into the bud. “S-so big.”
“I know,” Logan soothes, sliding out only to shove himself back in, down to the hit. Your back arches off the mattress, your chest coming flush with his. “Gonna work you open.” His voice is gentle, calm. “I’ve got you. Relax for me, sweetheart.”
Logan pulls out and thrusts in again, his lips swallowing your moans with a kiss. His fingers swirl around your clit as pleasure pulses through your every nerve ending. “Feels so good,” you murmur as he picks up his pace, his hips rolling against yours.
He grunts. “So perfect,” he praises. “Fucking made for me.” He pumps in and out of you harder, faster now, letting himself go. He pinches your clit, rolling the bud under his fingertips. “Never gonna want anyone but you, you know that?” He twitches inside you, and your walls flutter around him.
You curse under your breath. “Yes,” you cry out. “Only gonna want you, Lo. Only you.”
“Doing so good for me,” he husks between hard thrusts. “Taking me so well.” His hips snap against yours, his fingers circling your clit rapidly, adding more pressure. His lips find yours again, biting, kissing you bruisingly, fitting against you like a puzzle piece.
Your chests heave together, the sound of his skin slapping against yours echoing against the walls of the room. “You’re so perfect,” he whispers, his lips suddenly at the shell of your ear. He bites down on your pulse point, his tongue flitting out to lick the pain away. “So fucking beautiful.”
Your walls contract around him, squeezing him as he sinks deeper inside you, hitting exactly where you need him most. You’re so close, ready to come undone. “Fuck, Logan,” you whine as he pounds into you. “I’m gonna—”
“Me too, pretty girl,” he rasps, twitching inside you. You wrap your legs around his waist, keeping him close as he plunges deeper. He lifts his head from the crook of your neck and presses a chaste kiss to your lips. “Don’t wanna stop. Don’t wanna…” He trails off, his cock throbbing inside you again. You know he can’t hold back.
You tighten your legs around his waist. “Don’t stop,” you beg. “Stay inside.”
He groans, his forehead pressing to yours. “You want me to fill you up, sweetheart? That what you’re asking for?”
“Y-yes,” you stammer, his fingers pinching your clit and stroking relentlessly. “Please,” you choke, begging, tears brimming in the corners of your eyes.
“Fuck,” he curses. “Wanna feel you come on my cock, sweetheart. Wanna make you mine.”
“Already yours,” you whisper, your muscles contracting around his length again, your legs trembling as stars flood your vision. Logan moans your name, and you can feel him spilling inside you. You come together, your orgasm crashing into you, more intense, more powerful than the last.
“Love you so much,” he whispers as he finishes, painting your walls.
“Love you too, Lo,” you say back, your heart beating out of your chest as you come down from your high.
His fingers drag against your clit, swiping gently before running up your body, slipping under your back, and pulling you into his chest. His hips are still, his cock unmoving inside you. He finally pulls out, and rolls off you, taking you with him. He tugs you into his chest, holding you tightly.
“Are you okay?” He asks softly. “Need anything?”
“J-just you,” you stammer. His fingertips trace patterns along your back, soothing and gentle.
“Let me clean you up, sweetheart,” Logan whispers, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead and moving to sit up. But you stop him, wrapping your arms around his torso and holding him down. He smirks, letting you pull him back. “I’m just gonna grab a towel, yeah? Wanna take care of you. I’ll come right back.”
You nod, letting him go. He slips out of the bed, strides over to his bathroom, and grabs a towel from inside without turning a light on. Within ten seconds he’s back in bed, just like he said he would be.
Logan brings the towel between your legs and wipes you clean. His touch is gentle, soothing, careful not to be too rough. Once he’s done, he throws the towel to the floor and reaches over to his nightstand. When he turns back to you, he has a glass of water in his hand. He extends the glass out, bringing it to your lips. The water feels cool as it slides down your throat. You drain the glass, and Logan smiles as he pulls it from your lips.
He places the cup back down on the nightstand and pulls you into his arms again. You bury your head into the center of his chest, listening carefully to his heartbeat. It’s even, steady, constant. Just like him.
“Never felt like this before,” he whispers into the silent darkness of the room.
“Like what?” You mumble, your voice muffled against his chest.
You can hear the smile in his voice as the words leave his lips. “Happy. Safe.”
Tears—happy tears—free themselves from your eyes, sliding down your cheeks.
“Can’t let go of you,” he hums, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Don’t wanna go back to before.”
“You don’t have to, Lo,” you pant. “I’m yours. Always.” And you know you mean it. You know it’s true. It’s already been decided, already played out. Already etched into the future.
Are you two married? Claire had asked.
He’ll always come back to you. All I see is happiness, She had promised.
And she was right.
“I love you,” Logan husks.
“I love you, too.”
tags: @afw5 @wolviesgirl @the-ruler-of-death @Ifdybadgirlsdiw @xtwistedchaosx @wittyjasontodd @wolverinesslut @galacticglitterglue @silversprings-mp3 @zxaera @spiderset @figsnpassionfruits @alastorssimp @alsoprettyinpink @prettyseaveins @ilysmdovie12 @evasmlp @derbygracie @rammakela @honeyfewr @ricefordays-blog1 @manipulatour
#Logan Howlett x reader#Wolverine x reader#James Logan Howlett x reader#Logan Howlett x reader smut#Wolverine x reader smut#James Logan Howlett x reader smut#Logan Howlett smut#Wolverine smut#James Logan Howlett smut#Logan Howlett x you#Wolverine x you#James Logan Howlett x you#Logan Howlett friends to lovers#Logan Howlett x you smut#Wolverine x you smut#James Logan Howlett x you smut#Logan Howlett x reader friends to lovers#Logan Howlett imagine#Wolverine imagine#James Logan Howlett imagine#X Men imagine#Hugh Jackman#Deadpool and Wolverine#Logan Howlett fluff#Logan Howlett x reader fluff#Logan Howlett x you fluff
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*cries in Chemistry teacher*
something you don't learn until you get really far into the making and tinkering life is that there's no such thing as "glue" really. there are so many kinds of substances that stick other substances together and they are all very different and if you just go look at the adhesives aisle in the hardware store the packaging never actually tells you anything useful. it's like "this is SUPER T-REX POWER GLUE" and the fine print says "good for use on wood metal and plastic". okay. but WHICH PLASTICS MY GOOD BITCH,
because SURPRISE, there's no such thing as "plastic" either. every kind of wood is basically the same on a chemical level, but the only thing every plastic has in common is "some of its molecules are long" and that is NOT a quality that determines how things stick together.
I just ordered some stuff I hope will permanently stick a circuit board to a steel sheet and withstand temperatures up to 150 degrees. by the way circuit boards are made of epoxy-bound woven glass cloth which is cool as hell but what the fuck do you glue that with? can any of the 12 kinds of adhesives I currently own do that? no of course not. if I want to stick two pieces of acrylic together so hard they become watertight to a depth of 3000 metres I have some shit that does that, but it does literally nothing else.
anyway. once you start learning how many kinds of sticking things together there are, the people at 3M start to seem like witches and I don't know if they're the kind we can trust with that level of arcane knowledge
#the chem curriculum we have has its reasons to be like that#some even ARE good reasons#but the trick is that there are other ways to achieve what it wants to achieve#ways that can make it more interesting and prepare people more for future housework and tinkering#think of it like that: actual chemistry is basically cooking but with things that sometimes might kill you#very few people will say cooking is a useless skill or something that just a select few who were born with the right brain can do#the 'hard' part of Chemistry- the science behind understading and perfecting chemical practice - IS important#but it shouldn't KEEP people from learning and understanding the practice#as of you needed to have as much knowledge as a michellin star chef before being allowed to make a cake#not even a fancy cake just one that isn't pre-made and has a little glazing on top#if you could never see how easy and useful cooking can be WHY would you care about what michellin chefs have to teach???#if chemistry in school don't dialogue with chemistry at home what is even the point#chemistry#chemistry education
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