#why is the embed not working like it usually does

[stoicman-wbk]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62259497

Kanuma couldn’t help but feel he had messed everything up. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have thought his friend liked him that way? Why did he ever get his hopes up like that? Why did he assume they were more than friends already? Why did he confront Arima like that?!

Or

Kanuma goes off on Arima when the other flirts with a girl, and they get into an argument. A confession slips out, and Kanuma flees the scene.

And Arima....Arima's an idiot.

____

For Day 3 of @arikanuweek

[actual-greenninja]

The Hashira And how I think they will act as parents (PT 1?)

Rengoku/ Giyuu/ Sanemi/ x GN Reader (modern au)

-------------------------~°★★★°~------------------------

Synopsis: Basically what the title says, this is just a little brain rot, may or may not be trash. Just me talking about how I think they would be as parents, how many kids they would want, etc

Authors note: This was kinda hard because I've never written nor read any works of Giyuu so he might not be written too well :')

Note: NOT PROOF READ

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Rengoku🔥 (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

🧡 I see him wanting many children, not too many of course but quite a few! Maybe two like him and his brother, Senjuro. Or maybe even three or four, five if you will let him!

🧡 He wants to be a better father to his children than what his dad turned out to be after his mom passed away. Has nearly sworn off drinking when his first child was born because he didn't want to risk anything , poor thing :(

🧡 However you guys plan on having children doesn't really matter,he doesn't care of they aren't biologically his or not, he will love them!!

🧡 I see him having more sons than daughters, he wants to raise them up right to become good, decent men! And if he has a daughter he will teach his son's to protect her, even though he knows she will be more than capable to take care of herself. If they want to be demon slayers that's even better!

🧡 He tries his absolute best not to be too loud when he is holding his first baby, you have never seen him whisper the way he did when he held his first born.

🧡 Loves hearing his children play! And if he isn't busy he will join in and play along! Usually their games consist of Rengoku chasing them. Maybe he is a demon and they are demon slayers trying to fight him off, it's an adorable sight!

🧡 If he sees you playing with his children he will just sit back and watch for a little. Seeing his love playing with his children brings him so much warmth in his heart

🧡 You could say it sets his heart ablaze (insert laugh track)

🧡 He has a little bit of trouble saying no to his little kiddos. But he knows where to draw the line (some what atleast)

🧡Will randomly send you pictures of him and the kids (he does it shirtless when they're babies. Says they need skin to skin contact). Usually consists of both of them smiling, or watching TV or reading a book or Rengoku nibbling their cheeks.

🧡" Sweetheart! Look at our little sun flower! He's so focussed on the story book you got! And look! Whenever we get to the page talking about parents, he starts to laugh! *Chuckle* it seems he loves his parent as much as I do. Like father like son— huh?"

🧡 It's canon that Rengoku is half deaf and that is why he speaks so loudly, so I imagine his kids definitely gained a habit of yelling naturally when talking like their dad.

🧡Prefers to be called 'Papa' by his kids. I'm not sure why I just see it.

🧡His genes are strong. STRONG. All your kids (if biological) look exactly like him. Hair, eyes, smile and all. He finds it hilarious and will always mock you about it.

🧡Is there to EVERY game or concert, and if the school needs a chaperone he's your guy! Mom's love him, teachers love him, kids love him, even dad's love him. Who wouldn't?

🧡 As much as I praise him, like everyone he isn't perfect. Like I said, he has trouble saying no. But I also imagine that as much as he tries not to be like his dad, is how much he wants you to be like his mom, because he remembers her as such an amazing mother. So there is a bit of comparing but don't worry, he loves you for you!

🧡 Another thing about him being half deaf: hes off like a light when he's asleep. Baby is crying? Sucks to suck because 60 percent of the time he will sleep through it. But when he hears he will be the first one to check on your little one.

🧡Rengoku definitely will feel very hurt the first time his kid gets embarrassed of him. Like when they go through that "YOURE EMBARRASSING ME DAD!!" phase. Like, he will get so insecure and will feel like they don't love him anymore

🧡 "Sweetheart, do I talk too loud when I'm around their friends? Or do I make weird jokes? I thought saying "rizz" was cool??" Is what he will ask In the dead of night, and you will have to comfort him

🧡I imagine that Rengoku would love taking you and his kids camping and will make it a yearly tradition, even though it ends up a catastrophe every year.

🧡Over all a 9/10, amazing dad, had his flaws but honestly who doesn't?

--------------------------~°★★★°~----------------------------

Giyuu 🌊 (⁠・⁠–⁠・⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ

🫐 He is okay with any amount of children you're comfortable with. He'd preferably want not too many, but also more than one, so two is a good number

🫐 Poor thing, the first time you told him you were pregnant he was completely emotionless for like two minutes, just staring at the ground. You were so scared but before you could speak he took your hand tightly and started sobbing. He was so happy he was gonna be the father of your baby :(

🫐 And if you told him you wanted to adopt he'd agree, showing support when you made the decision. But the moment he sees the child you're gonna adopt he feels tears stream down his face.

🫐 When he holds your baby for the first time, no matter how many babies you have he will never be use to holding them for the first time. He will be so gentle, whispering to them. He looks a little awkward but it's okay he's trying.

🫐 Faints the first time he sees a diaper. Why does it look like that? Why does it smell like that?! How do you put it on?! He was the youngest so he had no clue how to do this, but he'd learn for you and your baby.

🫐 "Darling! Darling! Please take the baby now!! He— he needs to be changed please!"

🫐"Giyuu I am at work what do you want me to do?!" -you guys when being new parents probably

🫐He's a very quick learner though so you won't have to worry. Soon he's working with the baby without breaking a sweat! You could even say he's a natural

🫐 He still can't handle things like puke and poops though. That's for sure, unfortunately.

🫐 When your kid is older he will definitely be at all the games, shows, recitals, whatever. But he isn't gonna be cheering loudly, he honestly justs blends into the crowd. But the moment your bundle of joy gets of stage he is congratulating them profusely.

🫐 Takes so many pictures of you and your baby. Has so many pictures, and sends it to all of his friend's (so like 3 people)

🫐 Doesn't embarrass your kids often, hes too rserved. But if a child even talks wrong to his baby, he will not hesitate to go up to them and give them a stern talking to, which may be a little embarrassing.

🫐If your kid likes to sing— He WILL sing along and take videos. But God forbid you take a video of him singing, he will chase you for your phone. He's a terrible singer, but he will do anything for your baby.

🫐 Will respect his kids boundaries. If they don't wanna hug in public, sure..he was the same at some point. He will feel a little hurt and go to you for reassuring, but he knows it's just a teenage thing.

🫐 Once tried to sound cool Infront of his kids friends but ended up looking kinda lame. TERRIBLE DAD JOKES AHEAD!!

🫐Tried making a dad joke with his kids friends, all of them stayed silent, so did he. The table was silent until one of them decided to change the subject. Giyuu has never known peace since.

🫐 Is a very light sleeper, some say he doesn't sleep so if his baby cries, he is the first to go and check on them.

🫐 He makes sure not to sound to negative about himself around his kids. He doesn't want them to end up with a mindset like his.

🫐 Do kids love him? Do parents love him? Do teachers love him? Nyeeehhhh. Quite frankly they forget he exists. He doesn't stand out, but atleast that means he doesn't do anything wrong.

🫐he has some flaws in his parenting unfortunately. You'd expect him to be stern, responsible parent but honestly he will let his kids get away with anything to 'help his chances of them liking him'.

🫐 Also something that isn't entirely his fault is that he is unintentionally emotionally distant as his kids get older. Like, he won't know how to comfort that well. But he will try his best. Nothing but the best for his kids.

🫐 Overall 8.5/10. Great dad, not extraordinary but still pretty amazing

---------------------------~°★★★°~---------------------------

Sanemi 🍃(⁠ノ⁠ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ⁠)⁠ノ

🌱 The moment you announce that you're pregnant he is crying and becoming a little frantic. The most stressed out of the three despite his usual nonchalant demeanour.

🌱 He is making sure that you are taken care of, making sure everything is ready for the pregnancy months before

🌱If you guys are adopting he is alot less frantic but still very on edge. Making sure the bedroom is ready. Making sure everything is baby proofed.

🌱 But the moment the baby enters your lives it's like all that stress melts away in the blink of an eye. When he takes the baby into his arms and holds it against his open chest he is whispering sweet nothings into the kids ear.

🌱 Like Giyuu, he can't handle poop or vomit. Especially vomit. The first time your baby threw up on him was on his chest, and unfortunately since he keeps his chest own it slid down to his stomach

🌱 He shrieked. Genuinely shrieked.

🌱 "HOLY SHI— SHHHH....." he is trying his best not to swear Infront of your kid. He doesn't want to be remembered by your baby as an angry man.he can't. He refuses to let that happen.

🌱 You know he is stressed. Very very stressed. He doesn't want to be like his dad, his abusive father that he could only remember beating him and his siblings. He wants to be better, he needs to be better. But this worry leads to him having many sleepless nights where you would comfort him, telling him that he will never be his father.

🌱 When your kid gets older he will definitely take part in any little games they want to play. And he gets a kick out of it when he's the villain, because trust me when I say he is a phenomenal villain for his kids

🌱 Speaking of "kids", he wants more than one, definitely. Atleast three, but if that's too much for you he won't mind at all! He is a Girl Dad™ , nothing will convince me otherwise.

🌱 If he has a kid that looks exactly like him then he will be very careful. His baby is the most pretty, handsome thing in the whole universe, so how can he nitpick his appearance when he knows he has the eyes, nose and hair of his baby?

🌱 Lets his kid trace his scars, wether it be with their fingers or with markers. It gives him a sense of purpose.

🌱 Will he be a chaperone? Hell no. He hates any kid that isn't his. Will he host birthday parties? Hell yes, if it's his kids. But don't expect him to make small talk with parents.

🌱 If his kid shows romantic interest in Giyuus child he will actually combust. He doesn't want to be overbearing but if Giyuus 'spawn' goes near his angel he wil be throwing hands (with Giyuu).

🌱 Speaking of which, when your kid has a crush he will try not to be mad and sad at the same time

🌱 "Oh? Someone has caught the eye of daddy's angel? Well that's... Nice. Who is this kid? Is he nice? What's his name? What does he say? Do you know his parents? You know daddy will always love you the most"

🌱 Gets (very) defensive of his kids. If he's at a parent teacher meeting and the teacher dares to say something like "your child is too (this)" or your child is too (that)" he will get very upset. But he knows when he's child is truly the problem and will sternly check them.

🌱 Takes pictures of your kid doing the dumbest things in the dumbest angles. Have you seen that one pic of a guy standing on a babies shoulders captioned "on baby"? That is what hed send.

🌱 "Hey, babe. Look at our little mochi. Our baby is just the cutest thing alive😊❤️" and it's a picture of your baby from that one angle from the top of its head making it look dumb.

🌱 I imagine Sanemi has a sweet tooth, meaning he has a stash of sweets somewhere and of course he will share with his babies! But only one or two, anymore and he'll start to get a bit cranky.

🌱 He gives his kids punishments like the naughty corner 😭 and will make them stay there for 10 minutes before taking them to their room and calmly telling them where they went wrong.

🌱goes it his kids games/events and cheers LOUDLY. Almost rivals Rengoku. He is yelling, cheering, even swearing but each time it gets to that level he is kicked out.

🌱 Sanemi has quite a few flaws to his parenting. He has a bit of a temper, and although he keeps it in check it's hard to do so when he just came back from work. He will apologize many many times if he gets too upset

🌱 overall 8.5/ 10. He's a good parent, and he tries his best

---------------------------~°★★★°~---------------------------

Thanks for reading. Reblogs are appreciated. MIGHT make a part two with Tengen, Iguro and Gyomei

[urinarythreatinfection]

This took long because I was writing it and got into it and was like "oh damn this writing is kinda fire" but then it was too fire and I had to edit everything else to work. Also forgot to respond to the ask itself so i put a picture.

Roots of Suffering

Zoro x Female!Reader. Tw: Migraines, Angst with happy ending, violence, some gore and body horror (i think thats what its called) 5371 words.

You and Zoro sit next to each other in the crow’s nest, him meditating while you read. There’s no need for you two to speak to feel connected, simply spending time together like this is more than enough. It’s only when you finish another chapter that you realize you’ve been reading for hours, even before Zoro’s began meditating. You’re thirsty, he must be too, when you had first started reading he was training. This works out, you had begun to lose focus anyway, maybe you’d just been reading for too long. ‘I’ll get us both some water’ You think to yourself as you move to get up, freezing when you feel a familiar pressure in the side of your head. You must've been too focused on the book to pay attention. This is unfortunate, you didn’t have time to mentally prepare yourself this time, dread weighing you down. In one last action of hope you put your hand there, maybe it’s just a bug bite or the flesh there fell asleep; but you’re met with nothing. Nothing you can do now except brace yourself with what little time you have. You look back towards your boyfriend, meditating, he’s more focused than usual. You’ll just quickly make your way to Chopper and-

STAB

Your eye pricks and throbs in pain, as if a shard of glass made its way behind it. Before you can try and take another step you feel an arm pull you back. “Sit. You’ll just make it worse.” A quiet voice, Zoro. He sets you down onto the ground and stands up, turning off the lights and shutting the curtains before going back to you. It helps, but your head hurts, and it’s only getting worse. Everything is getting smaller and your brain is growing. You haven’t had one in a while, why now? Why couldn’t it be when you were near Chopper or when Zoro wasn’t so focused. You ruined it, you’re a burden, that thought embeds into your brain like the roots of suffering that grow to press against your shrinking skull. Seeping the poison of negativity as it worms through your head. Again and again, this parasitic plant fishes in the back of your eye, trying to force its way out. It's useless, you weren’t careful enough and now you’re paying the price. A warm hand goes to the side of your neck “Breathe.” A deep voice tells you, only realizing then that you were struggling. At this rate you’ll only end up making things worse. Despite the throbbing pressure in your skull you manage to force yourself to breathe, counting seconds in your head to assist you. “I’m going to Chopper.” Zoro whispers, trying to keep his words to a minimum. You want him to stay, but this is for the best. These can last longer than you would be able to handle even with Zoro’s comfort. Keeping his footsteps quiet, he goes to the door. You cover your eyes to avoid the sunlight, only opening them again when it closes. You’re alone now, you have to keep yourself stable until he’s back. One hand on your chest, another on your stomach as you close your eyes.

Breathe in

1..2..3..4

Hold

1..2..3..4

Breathe out

1..2..3..4

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. It’s okay, you’ve been through these before, it will pass just as the others have. Repeat, the door opens, repeat, two sets of footsteps make their way to you. Your breathing is a cycle the same your suffering is, your pain and your attempts to manage it circling around each other as you fight to keep sane. Chopper does not speak, he doesn’t need to, you know how this will go. He gently rubs where he’ll put the compress, then puts it to your skin. It’s cold, but you stay calm, relax your muscles even if you want to tense instinctively. Zoro sits at your other side, his presence a comfort. He’s unsure if he could touch you, but you reach out and grab his hand. You don’t need the hands on your body anymore, especially as the pain numbs slightly with Chopper’s care. Once the reindeer seems satisfied that you’re calm he pulls out a triptan. Nasal spray, good since you don’t need to swallow anything nor feel any injection that could cause stress, lord knows you don’t need more of that. He taps your arm to signify that he’s going to use it and you relax as much as you can. The nozzle goes into your nose and you breathe in gently. It’s done, this is all that he can do right now. He puts the medicine away and strokes your arm, trying to comfort you. Everything is on you now, you just have to endure until it sets in. You’re safe, you have your boyfriend on one side and a caring friend on your other. The minutes pass and the pain dulls, you take a deep breath.

“I’m sorry.” Is the first thing you say.

“It’s fine.” Zoro responds. Two words but the tone of his voice, the fact that he’s still keeping his voice soft, reassures you. You wish you didn’t have to deal with this, but you don’t have that ability. The privilege of having people that care is enough for you, it’s enough. Chopper is patient as he stays with you, making sure to check your pulse every so often; he even brought a bag just in case you throw up. Zoro goes back to meditating, but half of his focus is on you, one of his hands still holding yours. The hours pass, Sanji comes in quietly with some food. He doesn’t argue with Zoro, nor does he fawn over you, he sets the plates down for all 3 of you so you can eat; then leaves. Like before, it passes. The food helped, even if you felt nauseous your body still needed it, Sanji’s a good cook. You take a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief, about to apologize again when Zoro squeezes your hand.

“Don’t.” He states and you sigh again, keeping your mouth shut.

“I’m gonna put the lights to dim so you can get used to it again, is that okay?” Chopper asks as he gets up.

“..Yeah.” You hesitate slightly but you aren’t new to this, you can handle it. Franky installed lighting options for this, Chopper turns the lights on to a nice dimness while you close your eyes. You slowly open them, getting used to it. The painful part has passed and you stand up and peek outside. It’s night, you’ve kept them both inside all day. “I’m sorry Chopper, you must’ve wanted to do other things.” Zoro could handle being still, he at least used the time to meditate, though less efficiently; but Chopper usually liked to play during the day and he couldn’t do anything productive in the dark. The reindeer shakes his head.

“Mm, it’s okay. Making sure the crew is healthy is part of my role as doctor.” He smiles. “Making sure you’re okay makes me happier than playing.” An angel, Chopper must be an angel sent from above to care for pitiful beings of the Earth.

“Thank you, I always feel a lot better when you’re helping me.” You pat his head and he sheepishly giggles. Seeing him like this cheers you up, especially when you’re starting to feel bummed out. An arm wraps around your waist and Zoro picks you up. “I can walk by myself.”

“I know.” He yawns and holds you close, bridal style. You look to Chopper for help in convincing him but the reindeer just seems happy that you’re well enough to be stubborn.

“I’ll bring water over to your room.” With that the doctor runs off, leaving you in Zoro’s arms.

“Let me down Zoro, I’m not a baby that needs help walking.” You start to argue but Zoro just hums and walks out of the crow’s nest, heading to the women’s room. “Don’t open it yet, knock.”

“I know, I know.” He grumbles, holding you in one arm easily and knocking with the other. The door opens to Robin, Nami sleeping in the background. She notices your state and smiles warmly. She’s considerate though, refraining from chuckling at your state and instead stepping to the side so Zoro can come in.

“Are you sure he can come in?” You ask, looking at the sleeping navigator.

“She won’t mind if he simply comes in for a moment. Unless you’d like him to stay here?” Robin asks and Zoro perks up at being able to watch over you.

“No, it’s alright.” You shut it down immediately and he puts you down on your bed, displeased. “I don’t want to wake Nami to ask her, Zoro.”

“So what, she could just go back to sleep after.” He huffs and you sigh.

“If you’re feeling unwell during the night you can wake me, I can go retrieve him for you.” Robin suggests, once again a crewmate is making a sacrifice for you.

“I…” You look at the both of them, you’d like to argue but if you don’t agree it’ll only worry them more; so you nod. They seem pleased with that and Robin goes back to her own bed.

“Rest easy, Zoro.” The archaeologist tells him.

“I’ll leave it to you, then.” He trusts Robin, she’s alert, so he’s satisfied with that; even if he’d rather you let him stay here. You watch as the swordsman leaves, sighing. It feels so helpless, you train to get stronger and stronger yet you’re still so weak the moment your migraines come. It’s like you haven’t gotten stronger at all, stuck at the bottom due to something you can’t control, having to rely on crewmates to be able to function. You almost wish they would be harsher to you, maybe it would toughen you up; though you know it doesn’t work that way. A hand blooms on your shoulder and caresses the side of your defective head before covering your eyes.

“Sleep.” Robin says from her bed and you decide to listen, what other choice do you have? It’s not like you could stay up without only worsening your condition and causing even more burden on everyone. Your eyes close, the exhaustion from everything crashing down on you.

_____________

It’s not too surprising you’re in a bad mood. You’ve been stubborn from the start, the irritation coming from migraines only worsening it. Another cycle, you survive what comes to torment you. only for the aftereffects to still haunt you. Now you sit on the deck, sunglasses protecting your eyes. You tried to stay inside but couldn’t handle being alone with your thoughts. Luffy catches a ball, almost bumping into you. “Woah, got it.” He looks back at you, making sure he didn’t accidentally kick you, then goes back to playing ball with Franky using a machine that shoots the ball out. Irritation, anger, it festers in your heart and wants you to yell at Luffy to apologize.

'Control yourself, he didn’t even hit you.’ You tell your mind as you clench your jaw. You came outside to be with people, not to lash out at them. Control, you are not your condition, you are a person capable of making choices that are not a result of pain out of your control. Control, take the reins of what you can, that’s the only thing you can do. Keep yourself stable, lessen the burden on people around you, there’s no use in fighting a battle you can’t win. A battle where you can only lose. A fight that will never end.

Breathe in

1..2..3..4

Hold

1..2..3..4

Breathe out

1..2..3..4

Repeat, just as you always have. Again, and again, the cycle of stress, pain, and torment. It’s okay, you’re yourself, you have to be, even if it piles up. Days pass. Ignore the tendrils pressing their way through the wrinkles of your brain and down your neck, the pressure behind your eye, in your skull. This is your normal.

“Marines!” You hear Usopp yell out, your eyes snapping open in the middle of another breathing session you had been working on in preparation for another coming migraine. You stand, this is fine.

“Ah! Wait!” Chopper goes to you. “You’re-”

“It’s fine, I’m in prodrome, I can deal with this much.” Before the doctor can protest you’re already gone, having jumped to one of the marine ships to fight. It’s loud, but not unbearable, especially with the safety of your crew in mind. It’s working, you can deal with this as normal. You are in contro-

BANG

A gun is shot, and you dodge the bullet, but that isn’t what is hurting you. Sound. Your breath falters, your ears are ringing. It was shot at close range. Your stomach lurches, poison in your mind affecting your body as you break into a cold sweat. No, no no. This isn’t how this was supposed to go, you’re in control. You grab the marine by the head and slam it into the railing of the ship, killing him. It’s okay, you can still fight, it’s okay. You’ll breathe, you can breathe. Even when you feel pain in your head, migraine advanced by the gunshot, you can breathe.

Breathe in

1..2..3..4

10 marines down, you’ll sink the ship to take care of the rest. Then you can go back to the Sunny and rest.

Hold

1..2..3..4

Breathe out

1..2..3..4

You run down into the ship, you may not be able to take down a ship with a single slice but that doesn’t matter. Once you’re deep enough you can do enough damage to sink it. Raising your weapon up you swing down, splitting down the ship until water begins to flow from below. Done, you run out onto the deck and pain throbs, slowing you down. You have a few minutes before it completely sinks, it’s okay.

Breathe in

1..2..3..4

Hold

1..2..3..4

Breathe out

…

...?

Something is blocking your throat. You look down, seeing a blade protruding from your chest, then ripped out by the marine behind you. Blood pours out from your body into your lungs up your esophagus, red staining your lips as you cough red. You can’t breathe. Stepping forward, drowning, you struggle. Funny, blood, yet another lifeforce meant to keep you alive, is killing you. Pain in life, and pain in death, your body destroys itself. Ah.. the spot of green you see barely registers in your mind. Everything is dark.

__________

Zoro stares down at you, time stopped at the sight of your unconscious body. “No nononono.” He picks you up and you cough out blood, panic fills him. ‘She can’t die, she can’t.’ He turns you on your side, but blood is filling your lungs too fast for it to help. He realizes the ship is sinking and turns to the Sunny, he failed you, he can’t save you as a swordsman like this. Desperate legs propel him back to the Sunny. The battle had already been won, if only he got there a bit sooner, noticed quicker that you had gone despite your migraine signs.

Luffy is the first to notice, his haki alerting him. It makes his own blood run cold and he turns to the rest. “(Y/n)’s hurt!” He yells, then runs inside the ship to get Chopper, who’d been grabbing medicine for your migraine. Robin acts, a mouth blooming in the reindeer’s medical room.

“(Y/n)’s been injured.” She alerts him right as Zoro lands on the deck of the Sunny. “Luffy is coming to you, grab what you need for-” She looks to you and notices the wound, biting down on the inside of her cheek to stay calm. “stab wound, punctured the lung and through the other side of her body.” Zoro sets you down, using his bandana to try to apply pressure onto your wound. Meanwhile Chopper grabs everything he needs before Luffy bursts into the room and grabs him to run back to you. Chopper is set on the ground and immediately gets to work, ignoring the panic in his mind that his friend is dying in front of him. Zoro moves back, staring at you, then down at his bloody hands and bandana. He couldn’t do anything, he wasn’t there. If only he were there, he could’ve saved you from this. When he joined this ship he told himself he was a protector that would keep everyone alive, safe, that he would be there to stop even death itself. He looks to you, tube in your wound and Chopper taking blood from your throat so you can breathe. You’re pale, just as Kuina was in her casket, dead because he wasn’t there; because she was alone just as you were. Once you can be moved he helps you to Chopper’s clinic, the door shut in front of him so that the doctor can focus completely.

___________

It hurts. Is this the afterlife? You knew that you weren’t the best person in the world but to think even the afterlife would be painful, this is hell. Maybe you should just relax … that feels better. The pain is fading now, along with the memories of everyone. Your crewmates, and your boyfriend.

‘Zoro…’ That spot of green you saw must’ve been him. He must’ve seen you in such a bad state, you died in front of him. Even if he showed it in a different way, you know he loves you. He’d be heartbroken if you died, the others would too. You start to feel pain in your body again, it’s horrible, but you need to get up. This is not how you will die.

Bright, your eyes struggle to adjust as you look around and spot blue and pink. It jolts and starts to run around, your chest hurts. It makes you flinch and the figure stops. Syllables turn to words as you come to.

“(y/n).... (Y/n)..!” Your vision focuses as Chopper whisper-yells. You look at him and his eyes widen, then start to glisten as he bursts into tears. “Y-You’re awake!” He trembles, sobbing. “You’re awake, you’re alive!” Realizing his volume, he covers his mouth. “s-sorry..” You should comfort him.

“..iT’s o..ay..” Your voice is raspy and strained, not very reassuring. You try to get up but little hooves stop you.

“Stop, don’t move, or speak.” He’s still nervous, checking that your movement didn’t damage any stitches and bloody the bandages around your chest. “Just don’t do anything. You didn’t listen to me before and now you’re l-like this.” He starts to cry again. “So y-you better listen this time..! Hic..” His hooves go to his eyes to wipe away tears, the stress he’s been holding in to focus on you finally coming out. You relax your body, letting yourself lay back but moving your hand just a bit to pat Chopper’s head.

“mkAy..” Your voice cracks, and you stay silent now as the little reindeer cries. Once he’s done he sniffles and starts to speak after giving you a glass of water, saying that you’ve been asleep for a week. The only reason you survived is from Chopper’s insight to have everyone on the ship give blood for emergencies, so he had your blood bags.

“If I didn’t have them…” He trails off and you smile at him, you can’t speak yet but you can still show you’re alive. Your reassurance works this time and he calms down. “Oh!” He remembers something. “Now that you’re awake, I’ll go get Zoro.” He checks up on your vitals quickly, then goes to the door and opens it. “You can come in now, ah! No, not everyone. Turns! She just woke up!” Chopper changes into Muscle Point, pushing so that everyone comes in pairs. You expect to see Zoro first, but he isn’t there. Instead it’s Luffy and Sanji. The cook, expectedly, bows at the bed and begins apologizing for ever allowing a woman to get hurt so badly. Luffy stays silent during this, instead choosing to just be close to you. He stares at your bandaged chest.

“You’re okay.” The captain states, and you nod. Maybe you aren’t completely fine but you’re alive. “When you’re better we can eat and joke together again, okay?” Luffy trusts Chopper, he knows you’ll be alright with his care. Still.. “Listen next time.” seeing you with blood running down your face and pouring from your chest, it doesn’t feel good. “I have to, and I’m the captain, so you definitely have to.” With that he gives you a big smile, you give him one back and Luffy leaves. Sanji, calmer now, stands.

“Marimo’s not eating, I know he doesn’t deserve it but if you could, get him to eat.” He falters when you stare at him. “Just because it’s a huge hassle to have to cook only for him not to eat it, I couldn’t care less otherwise.” He quickly makes his leave after, but not before fawning over you on the way out. Nami and Usopp are next, Nami.. looks kinda rough. Her eyes are red, she’s been crying. She stomps over to your bed and bites her top lip, very clearly ready to scold you.

“Y-You’re an idiot, I hope you know that.” Her voice is shaky. “I can’t believe you would do something so stupid, as if you were invincible.” Her orange eyes start to well up with tears and she turns around to hide it. Usopp reaches a hand to comfort her but she slaps it away, he decides to leave it but she grabs his hand and puts it on her shoulder, changing her mind.

“I don’t know what you were thinking 100% but I get wanting to… be brave.” He mumbles “Still, what you did was insane.” To be honest he doesn’t really know what to say. Usopp’s done some pretty stupid stuff sometimes, and failed, so he’d feel really hypocritical just telling you boldly never to do that again. “People get worried about you, really worried.” Nami nods, still conflicted between wanting to scold you until she’s satisfied and wanting to cry that you’re alive while hugging you. You pat the bed next to you, trying to get her attention. She looks back and you smile at her, nodding. It makes her tremble and she walks over to you.

“I’m sending you a bill of all the ointments and tissues I’ve used crying because of you.” Nami wipes her eyes. “But, I’m glad you’re okay.” Her hand goes to yours, holding it for a moment before she turns and leaves. Usopp stands there for a moment, then leaves too. You notice his eyes are a little swollen as well before he’s gone. Robin and Brook come in next, they both look calm compared to the others. Brook’s eyes land on you and you start to hear rattling. Oh, he’s shaking.

“(Y/n)-san I'm so glad you’re alive, yohohoho!!” Tears stream from his eyes as he runs to you, held back by Robin by the back of his suit jacket.

“We’re all glad you’re alive.” She walks over to you calmly. “It was gruesome seeing blood fill your lungs and out of your mouth like a sad hose, but it’s fortunate knowing you didn’t have to die such a painful death.” You aren’t sure if you should be happy she seems normal or not, considering her words; but at least she isn’t sobbing. Robin, on the other hand, doesn’t mind disturbing you as long as it scares you enough you don’t do this again. They don’t stay for too long though, they want you to rest; Brook does promise to play you something soft once you recover more though.

“WAHHH (Y/N)-” Franky cries loudly as he walks in but is quickly shushed by Jinbe with a pat on the shoulder. Your friends are quite emotional. “R-Right, sorry.” Your ears hurt for a moment but it’s okay. You don’t even feel a migraine at the moment, they really don’t need to be so quiet. Everyone must be still on edge and trying to be safe rather than sorry, a migraine during early recovery would be miserable. “I made this for you, I know you’re still against becoming a cyborg so this isn’t anything that’s implanted.” He hands you something, a pair of headphones. “I’d been working on them for a while, but I…” He tears up again and falls to the ground dramatically. “You seemed to be doing okay so I put it off. I’m sorry.” You flip the headphones around in your hands while Jinbe stares at you. It’s… kind of intense.

“I’m not going to ask you to apologize or repent for your choice, you’ve faced the consequences without such a thing, but I hope this experience teaches you that rash decisions made alone result in nothing but pain.” The fishman states, stabbing you right in the conscience. Franky looks up, wiping his eyes. He doesn’t disagree, in fact he nods and stands.

“I already changed the lighting in the ship for you, everyone cares about you. If you’re struggling then ask for help, nothing super about going in alone with no reason to.” He shakes his head. “No, you were stupid.” You’re getting scolded more by the both of them than anyone else at this point. “The headphones will help, you don’t have to use them all the time but promise me you will use them. I’ve made them to muffle loud noises while letting you hear people talk. So you better listen, got it?” Franky’s serious, and you nod. “Super, now get rest and convince Zoro to stop acting like he’s a cyborg.” He’s bothered, and Jinbe nods. Before they both leave Jinbe gives you one last look, worry and disappointment, but trust that you’ll do better from now on. A few moments pass before Chopper is back inside, he looks to the doorway with a smile.

“Come in.” Silence, Chopper makes an angry face. “Come in!” Finally, a familiar swordsman walks inside, though he looks tired. The doctor seems satisfied now and hops a little. “I’ll be outside, you two talk! I got you this.” He runs over to you and hands you a notebook and marker, then runs outside. “No arguing.” Zoro’s silent. “Zoro’s been getting tired more easily because he doesn’t eat, too!” At this your boyfriend reacts, turning.

“You didn’t need to say that!” He barks but Chopper stands his ground, giving Zoro eyes as he leaves the room. “Cuter when he isn’t nagging about my health.”

“He’s worried about you.” You write and show him, but Zoro just scoffs.

“I’m not the one who needs to be worried about, missing some meals isn't going to kill me.” You notice him clenching his fist, wishing you could properly speak, but you aren’t confident you’d be able to keep quiet if you start speaking. “Are you.. really so bad you can’t speak?” You’re snapped out of your thoughts by Zoro’s voice, he sounds dejected. When you look at him there's a hurt expression on his face.

“I can speak a little, I just can’t be loud.” He reads this and seems slightly relieved.

“Don’t trust yourself not to yell at me, I get it.” Your boyfriend starts but instead of letting you write he continues. “I messed up, so focused on some small fries that I let you get hurt. I can’t even yell at you for being stupid because I’m the one who should’ve been paying attention.” He isn’t letting you respond. “Fuck I’m such a shit boyfriend, keep trying to protect everyone on the crew but almost letting my girlfriend die because I was too cocky. I keep messing up over and over and I can’t even do anything for you. I can’t treat you or play you music or even cook something comforting like curly brow. All I have is protecting you and I didn’t even do that-”

“Zoro!” You yell, then clutch at your chest as your lung throbs. He stops talking and crouches down to check your chest.

“Dammit, you just told me you couldn’t yell, are you trying to hurt yourself more!?” He gently feels the bandages around your chest. “I’ll go get Chopper-” Before he can leave you grab his wrist. “What are you doing?”

“Don’t need.. Chopper. Need you.” He scowls like he got bit from your words.

“You need someone who can care for you.” Your lover mumbles, looking away in shame. You tug on his wrist and he looks back at you, vulnerable, taking your sign to walk closer and sit on the edge of the bed. “I didn’t do that, I didn’t do anything. Not when you were stabbed and not when you were dying in front of my eyes. Even when you were in this room I couldn’t help Chopper, I don’t have that much medical knowledge. All I could do was watch as my girlfriend was dying in front of me, hoping that whatever happened that you would at least be alive.” He can’t meet your eyes, not like this. The hand on his wrist trails up his arm, he hates it all. He hates how dead you looked, how unhealthy you look now, and he hates himself for letting this happen.

“Zoro.” Your strained voice speaks and you move your hand to his cheek, gently moving his head to look at you. “It’s not your fault, and I’m not dead.” He presses his lips together and puts his hand on yours, kissing your palm as his thumb goes to check your pulse. It’s weaker than he wants, it hurts his heart, but at least yours is beating. He gives your palm another kiss, then your pulse point, up your arm until his are ever so gently holding you close to him. Like you’ll shatter with even the slightest pressure. He doesn’t speak, neither of you do, even when you feel wetness on your shoulder. You just wrap your arms around him as well, just as gently while your hand rubs his back soothingly.

“I love you.” He finally says after a few minutes pass, he doesn’t say it very often. When he saw you drowning in your own blood it was one of the things he regretted.

“I love you too.” You press a kiss to his head. He won’t let this happen again, he’ll protect you, physically, emotionally, anything.

____________

“Ah- Wait!” Zoro pulls you into his lap, placing the food in front of you. “You don’t need to do all of this, Chopper said I'm healed enough to eat on my own. I didn’t even need it to begin with.” He puts the chopsticks to your mouth.

“Eat.” Your boyfriend states.

“I get worrying but why are you going this far.” You grumble, adamant you don’t need this.

“Because I love you, now eat.” You freeze, so does everyone else who heard. Zoro pauses for a moment, but doubles down. “Capable of feeding yourself but you can’t even eat with help.” The tips of his ears are a bit pink but he isn’t going to let that stop him from professing his love. You shift around.. okay it feels kind of nice being cared for, you open your mouth to eat what’s given. “There, not hard.” You’re a bit embarrassed from all of this but Zoro glares at anyone who dares laugh or smile. This is not a joke, this is real and he’s doing perfectly normal boyfriend things.

“Wow Zoro is kinda different no-” Nami slaps a hand over Luffy’s mouth, ignoring how he protests. It doesn’t matter, he’ll keep saying it until they get used to it, until you get used to it too. Everyone cares about you, so they’ll drill it into your head like antivenom until you stop thinking you’re a burden. Migraine be damned.

All done. I couldn't fit this but the reason Franky seemed peeved at Zoro is because he tried to tell Zoro to eat and Zoro said "So what? You eat less than me, I can handle this much." as if Franky only didnt eat as much because most of him is cola-powered. Also hope migraine havers are forgiving bc I don't actually have these I just kinda did some research and wrote how I might feel if i had them. guyth if you like it feel free to comment btw

[finickyfelix]

Range of Emotions Tag Game:

Special thanks to @diabolical-blue for creating this tag game and for tagging me in it! Although I can't get links to embed properly for unknown reasons, I am going to try to hopefully link her post below because I really want people to check it out, plus it only seems polite to link her post since she created the tag game. Hopefully the link will work.

Rules: Choose one OC at a time, search any of your writing featuring that OC, and share passages where that character expresses each emotion in this list: joy - anger - sadness - anxiety - fear - disgust - embarrassment. Bonus points if the emotion is implied but not listed in the text by name. If there’s a reason the character does not ever express one of those emotions, feel free to share that reasoning instead.

I am going to do this for Tievis, since his usual expression is neutral and seemingly emotionless but he is extremely emotional and has never made a logic-based decision in his life, so writing his emotions is fun to me. Also I am going to use excerpts from Faded Daisy only and not Snakeskin, since I think it's more interesting if he's not the POV character.

Joy:

As soon as Dr. Tievis returned to his flat, he was smiling in a way that confused and scared you. He didn't seem to even notice that the door was unlocked. He set his case down shockingly haphazardly, then sat down on the floor before you and grabbed your hands in both of his, grinning up at you.

You were frozen in terror, staring blankly at his smiling face, as he pressed his lips to the backs of your cold hands. “You're a miracle,” he murmured against your skin, and you shivered.

Anger:

“You don't need to examine it all night. Comb your hair,” he said, voice rising. His carefully kept composure was cracking before your eyes, and over a comb? You knew it wasn't because of the comb. He kept himself too restrained to allow something so small to upset him. But now, after this morning, his patience with you was crumbling, and it hurt.

Sadness:

Then silence descended upon the two of you, his silence pensive and your silence confused. Then you think you realized what he was implying. “Was your family… Did they do bad things to you?”

He laughed. The sound was humorless and abrasive, and you hoped to never hear it again. “Yes, you could put it like that.”

You didn't press him. You didn't want to know the details, and you didn't think he wanted to tell them.

Anxiety:

You looked at him, and he looked at you, nearly feverishly, and you didn't ask any of the questions that clamored at your mind (Where did you go? Why were you gone for so long? Is there something wrong with your hand? Why are you looking at me like that?) Instead, you waited for him to have the first word, as he always had before.

“I need to get you out of here,” he said, and there was an edge to his voice that hadn't been there before.

Fear:

He stared at you, eyes wide. You grabbed me, his shocked expression said. You're not supposed to touch me.

Disgust:

Dr. Tievis spared one contemptful look behind him at the people who were now just hurrying to their own destinations, no longer looking at the two of you. “Humans in this blighted city think monsters should be dead so they take issue with the fact that I am not killing them and am taking them in.” His voice was harsh and sour on the word “humans,” as though he were spitting out something bitter.

Embarrassment:

“Please don't make me turn around,” he said suddenly once he was fully undressed, voice softer. “Don’t you get it yet?”

You didn't. You didn't get it. You couldn't understand most of what he was saying, just that he was showing pieces of his past that you weren't sure you wanted to see, and that he was clearly in pain over it. “What do you mean?” Your voice was as soft as his. This was not a time for raised voices.

He turned around, color high with shame, his body completely exposed to you, his face set in the resigned expression of someone ready to face his own execution.

Tagging my tag list, as well as open tag for anyone else who wants to do my beloved mutual's new tag game for their own character <3

Hello tag list. @the-letterbox-archives, @leahnardo-da-veggie, @the-scaredy-crow, @tragedycoded, @drchenquill, @fifis-corner, @melpomene-grey, and @cedar-sunshine

As always, please let me know if you would like to be added or removed from my tag list. Although at this point I'm tempted to ask people outright if they want to stay on it, because I have convinced myself that I am bothering people so much and because I can't believe that people actually want to see my writing, so I assume that most of you secretly want off the tag list but just aren't telling me.

[booksrbetterthanpeople]

Hey, hey! Hey! Hey… What if… Science Kids as Addams Family?

No specific roles, just a bunch of creepy kids in one classroom with their teacher who may or may not be a witch

Aurore: A weather witch who has a permanent rain cloud over her head. Because of this, she often catches colds. She hates good weather and prays for permanent thunder storms. Aurore enjoys terrorizing the other students with lightning bolts from her cloud

Mireille: A medium who can see and communicate with the dead. Mireille often carries around a crystal ball and ouija board in the events a normal person may want to talk to a loved one. She hates when people disrespect the dead, and takes care of cemeteries

Marc: A young man with an affinity for all sorts of insects and arachnids, especially arachnids. He treats them as his children and it’s normal see a black widow crawling out of his hair… Or mouth. Marc also occasionally write eulogies for his classmates

Cosette: Able to change their appearance and parts of their body, Cosette is one weapon away from being the greatest murderer of all time. If you were to cut off a body part, they can just reattach it and it’ll work like it did before

Zoé: While Zoé has no particular abilities, she does get a sick thrill out of torturing the normal students with her classmates, and her love for the macabre gets her in their good graces

Denise: Gifted with superhuman durability, Denise is the favorite target of their friends’ “harmless” pranks which often involve grenade, crossbows, and the occasional world war 1 cannon

Simon: Since he was born, Simon has been able to make people see their worst fears just by humming. It doesn’t have to be a specific one, any song he hums will embed gruesome images in people’s heads until they go mad

Jean: Whenever Jean enters a room, tragedy will strike. A light fixture will fall, the floor will give away, and a roof will crumble on top of someone. Despite this, they remain poised as if the world is not crumbling around them

Lacey: A host to dozens, maybe fifty ghosts, all possessing her body. Lacey established herself as the dominant one when she was five and a poltergeist possessed her, but allows the other specters to have fun with her body

Reshma: Reshma is the more levelheaded one of the class and has the ability to see into the future. All the time, it’s bad… And she loves it! She doesn’t bother warning people of their fates because there’s no fun in it. Plus, their fates are sealed and there’s no changing the future

Ismael: Somehow always seems to disappear when you look away for a quick second. Whenever Ismael is done with a conversation, he’ll be gone just like that. If you need to look for him, check out the shadows in the corners of the school, that’s usually where he is

Mme. Mendeleieve: Likely one of the most influential witches of her time. People are still confused why she’d rather teach than head her own coven

[laventadorn]

what did you study in college & did that help you with what you’re doing as a career now? Any advice for a gal struggling through undergrad trying to go to grad school?

behind the cut - this reads more like a collection of thoughts, i feel very unqualified to give advice!

about me and my degrees:

i studied english and creative writing in college, which according to articles i've read, almost nobody does anymore. the liberal arts are a field that's cleared out at dusk after all the players have gone home -- or to STEM fields, in this case.

the job i'm in now is entirely based on my degree -- can't have this job without it. but i've been part time for ten years, because getting a full-time job is a crapshoot, and part time pay is shit. but the time i tried to switch jobs, i got so profoundly depressed (in the clinical sense) i had to go back to this job. i'm just trying to embed myself until they hire me full time.

english grad school is, moreover, unlike many graduate school programs because (functionally) nobody goes unless they’re getting it for free, which means needing a fellowship or grad assistant program that pays for everything and awards you a small (unlivable) stipend. the second option is what i did. (essentially they’re training you to be a college professor, and you’re studying for free and getting food money.) fellowships usually pay more but are more competitive — but the process of getting into grad school for english or creative writing is equally a crapshoot. the first year i tried, i didn’t get in; the second year, i applied to more schools and a couple of them took the bait. i picked the school that gave me the best package.

bottom line is, it would really depend on your program. i have zero knowledge of other fields, sadly, because almost everyone i know who did grad school was in english like me. of the english MA/PhD people i know, they've worked in publishing, teaching, writing, and coypediting. so the fields have all been english adjacent, because typically you don't get a grad degree in a field unless you're committed to it.

(some people just daisy-chain MFA programs. they go from one to the other, living on fellowships. you can get multiple grad degrees. i once met a guy at a party who was even going for his postdoc at MIT. that's real commitment to the grad life.)

i don't regret my degrees or graduate school -- i had a great time in both. however, i also got out with no debt, since college was cheaper then and i got scholarships to schools that weren't exactly high brow. i also just really enjoyed being in school because it suits my habits and personality, and i was studying something i loved. a lot of people very much do not feel that way -- if you're struggling... :(

there was also nothing else i could've effectively studied. i am only competent in liberal arts. if i'd taken a STEM track, i'd have failed out or had a nervous breakdown from not understanding my classes. no joke.

advice, such as it is:

i was reading an article about the ratio of people who regret their degrees, and people tend to regret it the most due to two factors: debt obtaining it and hire-ability afterward. yeah, no surprises there.

for advice pertaining to your specific field, i'd ask your professors -- they had to go to grad school, obviously, so they'd be more knowledgeable about what it's like. if there are younger professors around, that might be more helpful, since their experiences would be more recent. unless the older ones have kept up with the times, a lot about the job market, and academia, has changed in the last 20 - 30 years. is there any teacher you'd feel comfortable talking about it with?

i'd also be clear to yourself on why you want to go to grad school. if you're already considering it, you probably have heard all this before/know it already, because grad school isn't a common thing -- i just have to say it anyway. i don't know why you, specifically, are struggling with undergrad or if you even want to disclose the reasons, but even though i'm primed for academia and was studying what i enjoyed, grad school was tough. in undergrad there's typically a lot more leeway, but in grad school they do not let anybody fuck around. everybody is an A student. they're dead serious, and you (general you) can get kicked out for poor performance, especially if you're getting money from the school to even be there. not to say you're the fuck-around-and-find-out-type -- i definitely wasn't -- just that it adds pressure. i didn't even go for the PhD but stopped at the MA track. so i would just advise caution in the deliberation. if debt is an issue, for example, and your chosen degree would only add to it, i would be very clear on the finances.

of course, take all this advice with the caveat that it's entirely based on my experiences and perspective, and i don't consider myself to be a very wise or practical person! i just muddle along.

[twelvemonkeyswere]

this is paywalled. full article below the cut:

Fear of a Black Hobbit

The demand to keep politics out of art is too often a demand for art to conform to conservative politics. By Adam Serwer.

Maybe you’ve heard that people are mad about Black actors being cast in Lord of the Rings. Or Game of Thrones. Or maybe it was Star Wars. Or perhaps Thor. Wait, maybe it was Titans, or Superman. The Witcher? Or maybe you heard that people are angry that Black Panther got made in the first place, because Wakanda is fictional, unlike one of those fantasy countries authors seem to think will seem more mysterious if you add enough accents or apostrophes, like Warthéréth’rién. (I just made that up.) Maybe you’re wondering why adults care about a Disney mermaid being Black.

Earlier this month, CNN published a news story featuring an interview with Brandon Morse, an editor for the right-wing website RedState, in which he complained that Amazon’s new Lord of the Rings show, The Rings of Power, is integrated: “He says ‘The Rings of Power’ producers have cast non-White actors in a story based on European culture and who look wildly different from how Tolkien originally described them,” CNN reported. “He says it’s an attempt to embed ‘social justice politics’ into Tolkien’s world.” Morse told CNN that “if you focus on introducing modern political sentiments, such as the leftist obsession with identity issues that only go skin deep, then you’re no longer focusing on building a good story.”

It’s worth noting how rapidly right-wing language about colorblind meritocracy melts away when it does not produce the desired results. Perhaps the actors cast were simply the most qualified?

Demanding Jim Crow casting requirements for a show on which the concept of race applies to elves and hobbits indicates a rather profound “obsession with identity issues that only go skin deep.” The primary tensions in Middle Earth are among races even more fictional than the ones that divide contemporary society. The fact that its cultures are inspired by real-world history does not rationalize imposing patterns of migration, conquest, and exploitation onto a fictional universe in which they did not take place. J. R. R. Tolkien’s tendency to essentialize his fictional races, giving them intrinsic moral qualities, is the subject of a great deal of research and commentary, but that’s not really the issue here. There are stories set in universes where race works similarly to how it does in contemporary society and where it should influence casting choices, but this isn’t one of them.

The interesting thing about this particular sort of backlash is that someone is willing to express such sentiments so explicitly. Backlashes against Black actors being cast in prominent genre roles are almost reflexive at this point, but the critics usually avoid stating outright that the integrity of the work requires an all-white cast. Most of the time, they stick to the argument that inserting politics into art diminishes the quality of the acting or storytelling, even if the shows merely acknowledge the existence of people who are not white or straight or men. The benefit of Morse’s candor is his clarity that his demand to keep politics out of art is itself a demand for art to conform to conservative politics.

There are a number of reasons these reactionary backlashes happen so often. The first, obviously, is that some people lack the imagination to see themselves in protagonists they do not aspire to resemble, at least in their mind’s eye. Another is that some conservative outlets see the screen as just another front in the culture war. They aim to convince the corporations that make television shows and films that their products will fail commercially if they do not conform to conservative politics, while convincing devoted fans of these properties that the reason newer interpretations are unsatisfying is because of diverse casting.

The refrain “Go woke, go broke” offers a tidy summary of this argument, wokeness gone mad being a useful euphemism for a demand like “resegregate popular entertainment,” which might turn people off. In a recent Instagram post, for example, Donald Trump Jr. neatly summarized the view that American popular entertainment doesn’t have enough exclusively white shows: (Note: I couldn't link the original, sorry)

How effective this campaign will be, I cannot say. Despite the conservative complaints about “woke capital,” the executives in charge of these companies are typically aligned politically and economically with the American right—they simply have a commercial incentive to make things that the broadest number of people want to see. Significant right-wing cultural backlashes have succeeded in narrowing Hollywood’s imagination in the past.

These kinds of critiques can also resonate beyond conservative audiences, for a number of reasons. One is that didactic politics can make for bad art (and bad criticism) in a way that is conducive to widespread mockery. Conversely, sometimes art is bad, but the backlash against it is expressed in a prejudiced fashion. And sometimes devoted fans of a particular style of filmmaking try to deflect substantive criticisms by accusing critics of prejudice. More than one of these things can be true at the same time, which can make justified criticism difficult to disentangle from bile, which in turn frustrates those making substantive critiques, because they are unjustly lumped in with bigots.

Yet the fact that the actors themselves are often targeted by prejudiced harassment campaigns is an obvious tell that such campaigns are not about the integrity of the art, but about who gets to see themselves in it. And there is no performance strong enough to overcome a demand that actors who are not white simply not be cast.

Although this may seem like an utterly silly and superficial dispute, representation shapes how people think of themselves and others, for good or for ill. And beneath the culture war nonsense are real questions not just of representation but of labor, of who gets to make a living in the entertainment industry as an artist or creator. These controversies and harassment campaigns seek to narrow not just the industry’s imagination, but also who can get paid to do this kind of work. People enraged by Black actors playing elves or mermaids are not any happier about Black writers or directors.

What is ultimately true, though, is that the “right” politics cannot make art succeed, and the “wrong” politics won’t prevent it from succeeding, at least in a commercial and popular sense. The work has to resonate. Most people’s tastes do not align neatly with their politics, and to the extent that people want such alignment, they typically just talk themselves into thinking the art they like shares their politics. This is not to say all political art or criticism is bad, or that popularity is by itself a measure of artistic merit. But weaving political themes into a story line, or evaluating a film or movie solely through the prism of one’s politics, is insufficient to make it brilliant or profound. Sometimes, in fact, doing so inadvertently exposes the shallowness of the art or the argument.

However, the reflexive conservative criticism of any art that includes even weakly perceptible progressive elements, or that could be used to exacerbate existing resentments, aims to persuade studios to just make films like Top Gun, which right-wing critics perceive as having “anti-woke, pro-America politics,” over and over again. (I heard the new sequel is great, by the way, but I have two small children and no time to go to the movies.)

Hollywood’s reliance on well-known intellectual properties, moreover, means that much of what it produces is consumed by an aging audience used to seeing themselves as the protagonists of these stories, and a vocal minority resents even minor digressions from this format. Remarkably, this blind nostalgia attaches even to properties like Star Trek and X-Men, whose progressive politics have always been a significant part of their fictional universes. To present these stories as having suddenly gone “woke” is to ignore almost everything about them, including the X-Men’s overt use of the anti-mutant dystopia Genosha as an analogy for South Africa in the 1980s and ’90s, or Star Trek’s depiction of the first interracial kiss on American television. Sorry, buddy, some of this stuff has always been this way. And given Tolkien’s own real-world racial politics, it’s unlikely that, were he alive today, he would echo the views of those demanding a country-club Lord of the Rings.

Making profitable films and shows for a broader audience means having more than just square-jawed white guys in leading roles. Moreover, it is not as though genre fare is lacking in traditional narratives that feature white protagonists realizing their greatness; this remains the prevailing formula. But if the diverse fan bases of these properties can relate to and enjoy these stories despite rarely seeing themselves represented in them, then people like Morse can learn to cope with seeing a Black elf on-screen every once in a while.

Prominent genre brands like Star Wars, or Marvel, or Lord of the Rings also have the difficult task of creating content for children while still satisfying their middle-aged stalwarts, whose nostalgia is ultimately insatiable because they cannot look upon novel material with the same emotional intensity they felt as children. Many older fans are convinced they can’t recapture that intensity only because the producers themselves have failed to create stories of the same fundamental quality, when in reality they have simply outgrown the sentiment they are chasing. These campaigns seek to convince this audience that the feeling they are pursuing can be recaptured, if only those making popular art would reject modern progressive dogma—thus creating a well of cultural resentment they can manipulate for political purposes.

That is the deception of this campaign, which is not about protecting the integrity of art at all, but ensuring it serves a particular political purpose. In other words, these critics seek to turn art into propaganda for one cause rather than another. Maybe it’ll actually work. But even if it does, it will not make Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or any of the other stuff you liked as a kid Great Again, at least not in the way you want. People hoping otherwise will just have to grow up.

“Prominent genre brands like Star Wars, or Marvel, or Lord of the Rings also have the difficult task of creating content for children while still satisfying their middle-aged stalwarts, whose nostalgia is ultimately insatiable because they cannot look upon novel material with the same emotional intensity they felt as children. Many older fans are convinced they can’t recapture that intensity only because the producers themselves have failed to create stories of the same fundamental quality, when in reality they have simply outgrown the sentiment they are chasing. These campaigns seek to convince this audience that the feeling they are pursuing can be recaptured, if only those making popular art would reject modern progressive dogma—thus creating a well of cultural resentment they can manipulate for political purposes.”

— Adam Serwer, Fear of a Black Hobbit

[dontlookdown]

Nick’s Favourite Music of 2024

Hello! It’s that time of year again! For me, at least, because I’m a stubborn man who insists on waiting for everyone else to do their lists before even starting the ridiculously long process of making my own. But I’ve never been bothered about being late, so long as I end up with something that doesn’t make me recoil in shame.

That said, as I came towards the end of my selection process I couldn't help but feel that my overall picks this year were more…subdued than usual? I can't say for sure why but the general state of things/the world over the last few months is probably a factor. That, coupled with my duties at work significantly increasing without enough preparation, meant that I've been feeling tired and not on-top-of-things and I guess it makes sense that I'd find comfort in generally softer songs than I would usually. I always look at these lists as being a snapshot of where I am at the time, so I’m not too upset about it being less musically diverse than usual, even if that does sting a little for the part of me that likes to think of himself as musically omnipresent. So, for the first time in a while, I'll have a bonus list of tracks that didn't make the cut at the bottom. I had several energetic tracks fighting for the last two spots, so they deserve a bit of the spotlight too.

SO, the balance may be off compared to other years. But the vibes? The vibes are immaculate, if I do say so myself. Below, you’ll find the list of my 20 favourite songs of 2024 (YouTube links in the headings, Spotify playlist embed at the bottom) in no particular order, along with a few words about why I love each particular one. Let’s go!

Father John Misty - “Screamland”

I frequently start these lists with a song that makes you sit up and take notice. “Screamland”, from returning champion Father John Misty is certainly that. After a short quiet build, the chorus strikes like being buffeted by a strong wind on a coastal cliff. In these moments, the sudden increase in volume and noise crunch makes it feel like the song might collapse under its own weight. I love moments like that, like the emotion being contained is about to break free completely, and the way the ending cuts itself short unceremoniously is perfect. This is my song of the year.

The Cure - “Alone”

“Yep, that’s The Cure”. Not the most enthusiastic response to a legendary band returning after 16 years but, knowing that Robert Smith and the band had been working on Songs of a Lost World for a long long time, there was a small part of me concerned about what it would eventually sound like. “It sounds like The Cure” wasn’t necessarily a guarantee. But I needn’t have worried. The album is a full dive back into the reverb-soaked Disintegration sound. Smith’s guitar and voice still sound immaculate, and it’s kind of perfect that the album opener and lead single “Alone” waits for three-and-a-half minutes before he reintroduces himself, letting the other members of the band set the scene. I’m glad that bassist Simon Gallup has stuck around too, as his contributions are a key part of what makes The Cure sound like “The Cure” to me, especially during this long intro.

Cassandra Jenkins - “Omakase”

Cassandra Jenkins’s “Hard Drive” was one of my favourite songs from 2021, although I burnt myself out half way through that year’s list and didn’t get to write about it. I’m glad I get a chance to make amends this year. She’s a unique talent, capable of weaving a spell through her music and vocal performances. “Hard Drive” was essentially a spoken word piece, but “Omakase” is practically a torch song by comparison. The title is a Japanese dining phrase that means placing your menu choice in the hands of the chef, and represents the idea of putting your trust in another person. Using it in the context of a relationship is beautiful, and the lushness of the music is a perfect accompaniment to that idea. I love the lyrics that gave the full album it’s title:

“My love, my light, my destroyer, my meteorite”

Speaking of which, the album was also a personal favourite this year, and highly recommended if you find yourself moved by this one track.

Billie Eilish - “Birds of a Feather”

My hipster-ish tendencies haven’t quite died off yet (but I’m working on it), and the thought of praising what became the most-streamed song of the year did give me pause. But then I would listen to it again, and that hesitation would completely melt away. It took a while. I listened to HIT ME HARD AND SOFT without hearing any standout tracks (my standards are, admittedly, stupidly high), but probably wasn’t listening closely enough. When I saw Billie Eilish performing this song in the Los Angeles portion of the Olympics closing ceremony, I assumed it was a new single I hadn’t heard yet. Surely I couldn’t have missed something this delicate and vulnerable? Reader, I had. Billie has a reputation for being great at setting a mood, but I don’t think she and co-writer/producer Finneas get enough credit for the way her songs evolve just enough over the running time to keep you engaged. Each verse has a slightly more assured vocal performance, each chorus has a slight addition to the mix to keep things interesting (culminating in the calm but squeaky keyboard line in the outro). It’s great production, is what it is.

Nilüfer Yanya - “Like I Say (I runaway)”

Speaking of setting a mood. One of the things I enjoy about my shortlist-building method of sticking every song from a year on shuffle (it’s longwinded, but effective) is that the songs that stand out really stand out. So it was with this single from Nilüfer Yanya. That buzzy acoustic guitar and programmed woodblock beat leap out immediately. And that’s before the chorus turns everything super-sized after 40 seconds. Nilüfer remains a calming presence throughout, guiding your ears through choppy waters to safe harbour.

Charli xcx - “Von dutch”

I completely accept that Charli “won” this year. Although Brat wasn’t my personal album of the year, it’s an incredible piece of work. Two works, technically, as I consider the remixes that were slowly rolled out over the year to be an essential part of the experience. Despite the “remix” label, a lot of these songs function as sequels to the original tracks, that expand on the stories and feelings in interesting ways. You probably already know about the great story behind Lorde's appearance, so consider this other example: Caroline Polachek takes the lead on a new version of “Everything is romantic”, in which she ponders the same anxieties of life that Charli did on the original, only for Charli herself to call her in the middle of the night in an attempt to quell her own fears. It’s a truly great album, and I’m not surprised it conquered the zeitgeist in the way that it did. My pick from the album is “Von dutch”, an overdriven club banger that was not only the immediate standout for me, but also a track I was actively anticipating when I was re-listening to everything for this list. I had everything sorted alphabetically by song title, so when I hit the “v”s…I was ready for it. That alone makes it literally one of the top 26 tracks of the year!

Creepy Nuts - “Otonoke”

Friends…I have become an Anime Guy. This will probably not be news to most people that know me. I’ve been watching it for a long time. I grew up with Pokémon, had a formative experience discovering Cowboy Bebop on DVD as a teenager, and have essentially become a One Piece evangelist in recent years. But in 2024 I reached the point where I was actively keeping track of new releases each season, and watching shows as they were airing instead of coming to them late. Because of this, there are three anime-related songs on my list this year, and that number probably won’t be going down on future lists. Selecting my favourite music is an exercise in repetition: what holds up over repeat plays, and what do I want to hear multiple times? And what song heralds the arrival of a new episode of the most exciting show I’ve seen in years? Had I only heard “Otonoke” once, it might not have ended up on this list. But, as the opening theme to Dandadan, I heard it once a week for three months and, let me tell you, it didn’t take long before my head was bopping along with gusto. I have a lot of respect for the musical acts that are asked to tackle an anime opening. Not only do you have to come up with a song designed to get the audience hyped for the episode, you have to match and compliment the mood of the show itself, and then find a way to do all that in a strict 90 second runtime. That can’t be easy, but some people find ways to thrive within those constraints. Hip-hop duo Creepy Nuts had already established themselves as one of them (I would love to know how they settled on that name), and “Otonoke” hits right out of the gate. It’s the perfect lead-in for the show, and a great piece of music in its own right, with some thrilling mood swings between the verses and the chorus.

Wishy - “Love on the Outside”

Wishy’s debut album Triple Seven perfectly captured a 90s-pop-rock-from-blown-speakers vibe that I didn’t know that I wanted. While there weren’t many bands from that era that actually sounded like this, songs like “Love on the Outside” have enough of that fluorescent sunshine feel to convinces you there were. Turns out you can just make your own nostalgia.

Blondshell feat. Bully - “Docket”

This was a collaborative gem I discovered through BBC 6Music. The driving chorus is a killer, one that always takes me by surprise.

Regal Lily - “Twinkling Ash”

Our second anime song on the list, this time from the wonderful Delicious in Dungeon. I actually went to Japan this past October (did Japanese Duolingo lessons for 10 months to prepare and didn’t have to use a single phrase in the end lol) and, while I promise I wasn’t stumbling around constantly thinking about anime while I was there, this song did end up playing in my head an awful lot. That’s probably because it’s got such a perfect travelling feel (as befitting the show it’s from), with a constant momentum that recalls blurred views from outside a train window, yet remains comforting. Even the inclusion of a rendition of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” somehow adds to the cosy vibe, instead of disrupting it. Some very strong guitar work on this one too.

MJ Lenderman - “She’s Leaving You”

Wednesday guitarist MJ Lenderman nails a specific idea of ‘Rockin’ against the melancholy’, much like Neil Young and Built to Spill did before him. The second verse on “She’s Leaving You” is a crusher:

You said "Vegas is beautiful at night" And it's not about the money You just like the lights Though you know what is implied When your room is free You're feeling lucky

Christopher Owens - “Do You Need a Friend”

This one’s another heartbreaker. Girls frontman Christopher Owens returned this year, having had to live through some extremely rough stuff. There are songs on I Wanna Run Barefoot Through Your Hair that were supposedly planned for a new Girls record, before bandmate JR’s untimely death, and “Do You Need a Friend” could well be one of them. It returns to some of the same tricks as a previous favourite, 2011’s “Vomit”, with Christopher’s fragile voice, some heavily reverbed guitars and passionate gospel backing vocals. But everything gets maximised about a third of the way through, as the volume peaks and crunches and slows slightly. It sounds like the song is self-immolating. “If you really want to know, I’m barely making it through the days”, Christopher sings, and we completely believe him. It’s impossible to do anything else while this song is playing (speaking from experience, don’t listen to it at work). It’s awesome, in the traditional sense of the word.

James Blake - “Like the End”

I didn’t get much work done listening to this one, either. The last time James Blake made an appearance on these lists, it was with a song overflowing with an appreciation for beauty. “Like the End” is about as far away from that as you can get, while still clearly being the work of the same man. It’s a little exhausting how well he nails the tone of ‘the soundtrack to planet Earth’s end credits’, but I have to applaud the execution. “Doesn't it feel like the end?”, he asks. It definitely sounds like it, I say, shivering with new-found existential dread.

Vampire Weekend - “Hope”

We probably need some uplift after that, and “Hope” is…not really that, sorry. It’s an ironically-titled defeatist anthem (“The enemy's invincible, I hope you let it go”), and honestly kind of a bummer. But it’s also a great song, and my favourite from Vampire Weekend’s Only God Was Above Us, my album of the year. The album was a not just a return to form, but a return to the textured, rougher sound of Modern Vampires of the City (which has become one of my favourite records of all time), following the underweight, squeaky-clean sound of Father of the Bride. Every instrument on this record sounds rusty but well-loved, and there’s an overall lack of polish (that I love) to the songs that still feel complete. “Hope” closes the album strongly, which is why I’ve placed it here, in [checks list] spot 14 out of 20?

Adrianne Lenker - “Ruined”

This, er, downer section is only going to continue for just a little bit longer, I promise, but I can’t deny that Adrianne Lenker is really, really good at making feel-bad songs. Her solo album this year didn’t even have that many on it, admittedly. It was even called Bright Future, for god’s sake. I almost went for “Sadness as a Gift”, which has that full-band Big Thief vibe I love, but “Ruined” scratches an itch that only solo Adrianne can, lamenting the presence of people in your life that you just can’t quit, despite feeling like you really should. An enthusiastic but tear-stained thumbs up from me.

Riria. - “Antanante.”

I talked a little about the restrictions faced when making an anime opening theme with “Otonoke”. The rules are similarly tight for ending themes too, but the assignment is less about getting viewers hyped and more about bringing them back down to earth. “Antanante”, from this year’s remake of Ranma ½, is a masterclass in doing just that. Consider that the show in question is a madcap screwball romantic comedy with fantasy elements, and then consider that the song is one of the gentlest on this list, ignoring all the wilder parts of the show’s presentation to focus on its beating heart: the earnest and slow-blooming romance between the two lead characters (the official English captions on this video were a big help in understanding this). It’s a bold decision, and one that pays off beautifully. The title and opening lyric may translate as “I couldn’t care less about you”, but the musical choices aren’t fooling anyone. Everything is delicate and soft, floating along as if it were a dream, and there’s an intentional yearning to Riria’s vocal performance. I’ll confess to raising my eyebrows when the oriental riff makes an appearance. For the record, it’s usage in Japanese media is usually to indicate a connection to China specifically (which is a key part of the show), whereas its usage in Western media usually indicates that you’re about see/hear some really racist shit. However you feel about that, it doesn’t spoil the mood, which is kept charming by the cutest keyboard solo I think I’ve ever heard.

Waxahatchee feat. MJ Lenderman - “Right Back to It”

Here’s another floater Speaking of songs that float along nicely… I promise I came up with that segue before seeing the video for “Right Back to It”, in which Katie Crutchfield and MJ Lenderman ride a boat slowly drifting across a Texas lake at sunset in gorgeous super-widescreen cinematography. I like that this song was a deliberate attempt at writing a song about a long-running romance, as opposed to one that had just sparked into existence. It understands that unromantic gestures can be the most romantic in the long run. “That’s the good stuff,” as Robin Williams once said.

Chappell Roan - “Good Luck, Babe!”

I remember a time when Wham’s “Last Christmas” held a reputation of one of the very worst songs to be unleashed on the public every winter, which is why I find it so fascinating that that reputation has essentially flipped around entirely in the last few years (George Michael’s unexpected death at the end of 2016 was definitely a factor). I always quite liked it myself, largely due to the sound of the synths that lightly pulse throughout the song (I like Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” for similar reasons, and it’ll be interesting if that song can achieve a similar 180 once Paul passes on. De La Soul have already put in the effort). Having observed the growing tidal shift on “Last Christmas”, it made sense that another song about heartbreak built upon a similar sound would become a massive hit. I’m not making that connection to be flippant. All great pop songs build upon what’s come before, and George would have loved this, a queer break-up song that is upfront about its queerness and still broke through to the normie mainstream. I’ll admit that I hadn’t cottoned on to that side of things until doing research for this post, having not looked too closely at the lyrics, so that was a fun thing to learn! As I’ve said, the songs that end up on these lists are the ones that hold up over repeat plays, and this was one of them. By the fifth go-around (yes, I keep track of these things), I truly got it. Chappell’s vocal performance anchors the whole thing (that falsetto in the chorus? chef’s kiss), playfully defensive until she allows some righteous anger to sneak in during the bridge, where the strings and drums ramp up to support her, as she builds up to the most devastating “I told you soooo!” ever committed to tape.

Bully - “Atom Bomb”

“Atom Bomb” is another song anchored by a vocal performance, if only because the musical accompaniment is mostly limited to just a single piano. But what a vocal performance it is (as befitting its title), with Alicia Bognanno’s howl barely containing her pain until it cracks completely during the final moments of the song.

Jessie Ware & Romy - “Lift You Up”

As you can probably guess from the title of this one, I wanted to send this list (and the year) out with some positivity. Jessie Ware is our reigning disco queen, and this collaboration with The xx’s Romy Madley Croft that she debuted during her hugely enjoyable Glastonbury set was a nice surprise. It’s simple enough, a believe-in-yourself banger, but I can’t think of a better way to ring in…*checks calendar* the 20th day of the new year. Happy Saint Sebastian Day, everybody!

Thanks for reading! If you fancy reading more like this, I’ve done similar lists/series for every year going back to 2011 (and basic lists for 2008-2010). Just copy and paste this link (https://dontlookdown.tumblr.com/tagged/best of 20xx) and edit the year to see them! (The spaces in the link are correct. Apparently, Tumblr has adjusted how certain URLs work, and now most of the links I’ve used in previous posts don’t connect properly. Great.)

And, as promised, here’s some bonus tracks:

Geordie Greep - “Holy, Holy”

I described Black Midi’s last album as sounding like “arson attack at a Cole Porter recital” . Now that frontman Geordie Greep has gone solo, he has refined that sound into “Steely Dan on meth”. Both of those descriptions are compliments, and “Holy, Holy” seems like the perfect representation of what the mind of a middle-aged, overly-charismatic sociopath would sound like (again, this is a compliment).

Gojira, Marina Viotti & Victor Le Masne - “Mea Culpa (Ah! Ça ira!)”

What a moment this was, a real shot of adrenaline in the first half of the (overall excellent) Paris Olympics opening ceremony. Death metal band Gojira, suspended on the side of the Conciergerie, performing a furious rendition of a French Revolutionary anthem with opera singer Marina Viotti sliding in on a boat, surrounded by the spectres of decapitated nobles with fire and red ribbons exploding everywhere. I can see 2028’s Los Angeles ceremony trying to pull off something similar with Metallica. Good fucking luck.

Jessica Pratt - “World on a String”

The world of audio mixing and mastering is largely a mystery to me. One thing I can say though, is that Jessica Pratt’s vocals on Here in the Pitch are the perfect volume, and “World on a String” is like a warm bath on a cold day.

SPRINTS - “Up and Comer”

This punky rattler was one I clocked as a potential final-list-er early in the year. It didn’t quite get there but, considering the song is about being unfairly dismissed and looked-over, that’s somewhat apt.

Tommy Richman - “Million Dollar Baby”

I don’t pay much attention to what charts, so I didn’t encounter this until December, but I’m pretty taken with it! This is a rich mix of several flavours: I hear G-funk, Soulquarians neo-soul, even some of George Clinton’s more electronic work, and yet it still manages to sound very now.

Tyler, The Creator feat. Doechii - “Balloon”

Tyler remains the most entertaining rapper working today, partly because he manages to experiment wildly while still playing to his strengths. He’s just fun to listen to. I want to give a shoutout to Doechii as well, who not only matches Tyler’s energy perfectly on “Balloon”, but also had one of the best albums and singles of the year in Alligator Bites Never Heal and “Alter Ego”, respectively.

[the-firebird69]

So the guy says as the game show host for family feud if you're trying to get me a shut up it's the wrong stuff to do and you're making me talk more and it said okay well we have to double the punishment because you're an insulin swine who's demanding it and we know about that and you're forces are being defeated that's why you look depressed you don't know about your personality being grabbed at the cars and you're small and a juicy snipers and they're hitting them but you don't insult me or my son and you're definitely insulting his father in Africa and we don't need that either and you don't do anything of value and you keep your people poor and you live like a poor piece of absolute s*** and we're going to run you into the prisons so you can have fun movies now this makes any sense to you does it use this bag boy that's disgusting so he's going to screw around social security that's his job screwing around with social security nothing so he says I'm pilfering from you and they're going to have a big fight right now outside near his car and he's ordering it what feeds in the ones from him to outdoors is the mystery group and you got pointed out it is still stupid yeah it does you're very dumb I know is why don't you see you what happens if you mess with me so you don't have to be here and he says I sort of get something what happens is we usually disappear and we're big and it would disappearing but not fast enough it says you're not big and you're disappearing fast but not fast enough yeah everyone's sick of you idiots you have a revolution and you don't know who to go after it's disgusting you so f****** dumb

Those are sun again we have some reports to hand in and I know we're putting stuff out there on purpose. He lost big time today in the rings and Everglades about 3 billion and John remillard use the embeds and he thinks he figured out how they work and he thinks he controls it and he's been getting grabbed by a bunch of people because of that and his stuff is getting ransacked all over the world and my son says it's probably in Tennessee where he grabbed them and he would have disappeared and so is his wife because they wouldn't want to have an opportunity for someone to grab them so now everyone's going to go there

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

We do hear you John remillard and you're trying to move to the apartment next door and it's too late and he's not countering you stupid s*** and you're a moron but you told us what we need to know

Mac Daddy

The whole thing could be controlled from there possibly

Tommy f

Olympus

[thedesirecompany]

Effectively Marketing a New Product Online: Dos and Don’ts

There’s nothing quite as exciting as launching a new product or service. Taking that next step presents enormous opportunities for your brand to continue growing, so it’s vital to effectively market your new offering right out of the gate.

But how do you make it happen? Merriam-Webster’s word of the year is “authentic,” and you can take that approach into the new year. Meeting your audience where they are is essential, so it makes sense that many brands strive for success in the digital marketplace. While it may seem like everyone takes the same approach to digital marketing, some techniques that prioritize authenticity can offer you an advantage, while others fall short. Of course, due to the rapidly evolving nature of the digital marketplace, strategies that worked last year may not yield any results today. Here’s a list of four dos and don’ts for effectively marketing your new product or service online. Do: Have Your Products Authentically Reviewed by Pros We’ve seen numerous examples of paid influencers who never actually use the products they promote offering disingenuous advice to their followers. That creates considerable skepticism—and rightly so. Now, audiences want to know they’re getting the whole truth and nothing but the truth. There’s no better way to cut through the influencer noise than by having your product reviewed by a genuine pro. All you have to do is capture their review with high-quality video production services from a pioneering product education platform that does it all. Don’t: Settle for Marketing on Just a Few Platforms It’s easy to fall into the trap of marketing on a few platforms you prefer using or that you’re most familiar with. But this can exclude huge swaths of potential customers. High-quality content created in partnership with an industry expert is ideal for all platforms, so start with the avenues most frequented by your target audience and branch out from there. With honest video reviews from a product education platform that also acts as an explainer video production company, you can capture the traffic you need to drive revenue. Do: Leverage User-Generated Social Content When your brand receives five-star product reviews, excellent feedback, and other positive interactions from real purchasers on social media, seize the opportunity to show potential customers how your product or service has helped people just like them. This is the kind of authenticity people are looking for as they shop online, so don’t shy away from it. Instead, make the most of it—feature it front and center. Don’t: Push Fake Reviews It’s not just that fake reviews are easy to spot and increase skepticism about your brand—the FTC is moving to ban fake reviews completely, so anyone relying on them could find themselves in hot water before too long. Besides, there are simply more effective options when it comes to digital marketing. Nothing so aptly shows the virtues of your new offering as a video featuring an honest review from an industry pro, especially when it’s produced by a product education platform that also acts as one of the leading explainer video companies. That combination is an authentic approach you can count on as the foundation of your marketing strategy. About The Desire Company Building trust among your consumers is key for establishing the brand loyalty your business needs to thrive in today’s digital marketplace. From the rise of #deinfluencing to the FTC crackdown on fake reviews, it’s clear that honest advice and authenticity are more vital than ever. That’s why The Desire Company goes beyond the usual product recommendations from paid influencers and pseudo-experts. In fact, that’s exactly what separates them from a typical creative agency or video production company. They’re a complete product education solution that combines content strategy, expert vetting, and matching with their vast Pro Community, video embed technology, and media distribution. When you partner with The Desire Company, your audience will be informed, not influenced, by authentic educational content that builds trust and drives conversions. Tap into an expert with The Desire Company. Authentically build brand loyalty with The Desire Company at https://brands.thedesirecompany.com Original Source: https://bit.ly/48nsRFB

[madhukumarc]

What is Social Media Integration in Website?

Social media integration in a website refers to the process of incorporating social media platforms and features into a website.

It allows users to easily connect with and share content from the website on various social media channels.

So, how does social media integration work?

Well, let's break it down.

“Many hands make light work, and one way to get more people involved in spreading your content is to put social sharing links on post pages. The more convenient you make it for readers to share your articles on social media, the more likely they’ll do so” – Siege Media

Social Media Integration:

1. First and foremost, social media integration involves adding social media buttons or icons to your website, (or blog).

These buttons are placed prominently within the website layout, or pages, making it easy for visitors to share your content with their friends and followers.

2. When a user clicks on one of these buttons, they are usually prompted to log in to their social media account.

Once logged in, they can then share the webpage or blog post they are on directly to their social media profile.

This sharing feature is not only convenient for users but also helps to increase the visibility and reach of your website.

“Shares are equally important for engagement, exposing you to new readers and viewers. Make content easy to share with prominent buttons on every page” – Google

3. In addition to sharing buttons, social media integration may also include embedding social media feeds or widgets on your website.

This allows you to display real-time content from your social media profiles directly on your website.

For example, you could embed your X [Twitter] feed or Instagram photos on your homepage, giving visitors a glimpse into your social media activity.

However, this aspect is rarely implemented based on my observations to date.

4. Furthermore, it can involve incorporating social login options on your website.

This means that users can sign in or register using their social media credentials instead of creating a separate account.

This can streamline the registration process and make it easier for users to engage with your website.

In fact, some of these features are default set on the content management system [CMS] of the website or blog.

You can even customize it to your requirements by visiting the settings page if you are an admin of your website.

“Sharing content on social media can lead to likes, shares, and comments. You’ll develop a better understanding of your audience, and it can help give direction for future content” – Semrush

5. Why is social media integration important for a website?

Well, there are several benefits to consider. Among those, here are the most important ones.

a) First, it helps to increase your website's visibility and reach by leveraging the power of social media.

When users share your content on their social media profiles, it exposes your website to a wider audience and has the potential to drive more traffic.

b) Second, social media integration encourages user engagement and interaction.

By allowing users to share and comment on your content directly from your website, you are fostering a sense of community and encouraging conversation around your brand or business.

“Social media also offers opportunities for backlinks and referral traffic. Sharing high-quality content may lead to mentions and shares by other influential users or websites, resulting in valuable backlinks to your site. These backlinks signal to search engines that your website is credible and potentially deserves higher rankings” – SEOTesting

c) It can also improve your website's search engine optimization (SEO).

Yes, when users share your content on social media, it creates backlinks to your website, which can help improve your overall search engine rankings.

It is where the quality content comes in, to inspire and motivate users to share content they have found useful.

How Social Media Supports SEO?:

In conclusion, social media integration in a website involves incorporating social media platforms and features to facilitate content sharing, increase visibility, encourage engagement, and improve SEO.

By seamlessly integrating social media into your website, you can enhance user experience, expand your reach, and ultimately drive more traffic to your site.

Here's related information that you may also find helpful – Ready to use Social Media for Customer Service? [7 tips to drive success and build loyalty].

[deltainfoteklive]

HTML Interview Questions and Answers

In today's digital world, HTML is a fundamental skill for anyone interested in web development. Whether you are a beginner or an experienced professional, it is important to have a good understanding of HTML and its various features. In this article, we will explore some common HTML interview questions and provide detailed answers to help you prepare for your next interview. So, let's dive in! What is HTML? HTML stands for Hypertext Markup Language. It is the standard markup language used for creating web pages and applications. HTML uses a set of tags to structure the content and define the layout of a web page. These tags are interpreted by web browsers to display the content in a visually appealing and interactive manner. Why is HTML important? HTML is the backbone of the web. It plays a crucial role in structuring web content and enables the seamless integration of various elements like text, images, links, and multimedia. HTML provides a standardized way of designing web pages, making them accessible and compatible across different devices and browsers. Without HTML, the internet as we know it today would not exist. How does HTML work? HTML works by combining various tags to define the structure and content of a web page. These tags are enclosed in angle brackets () and are usually paired as opening and closing tags. The content between these tags is what appears on the web page. For example, the ` tag is used to define a heading, while the ` tag defines a paragraph. What are the different versions of HTML? HTML has evolved over time, with different versions introduced to enhance functionality and accommodate the changing needs of web development. Some of the major versions of HTML include: HTML4: The most widely used version before the introduction of HTML5. It introduced features like cascading style sheets (CSS) and scripting languages for more dynamic web pages. HTML5: The latest version of HTML, introduced in 2014. It introduced many new features and improvements, such as support for multimedia elements, canvas for graphics, and improved form validation. What are the basic tags in HTML? HTML consists of a wide range of tags that serve different purposes. Some basic tags include: ``: Represents the root element of an HTML document. ``: Contains meta information about the web page, such as the title and external CSS or JavaScript files. ``: Contains the visible content of the web page. ``: Headings of different levels. ``: Represents a paragraph. ``: Creates a hyperlink to another web page or resource. ``: Embeds an image into the web page. What is the purpose of DOCTYPE in HTML? The DOCTYPE declaration is used to inform web browsers about the version of HTML being used. It helps the browser understand how to interpret and display the web page correctly. The DOCTYPE declaration is placed at the very beginning of an HTML document, before the `` tag. What is the difference between id and class in HTML? In HTML, both id and class attributes are used to select and apply styles to elements. The main difference is that the id attribute can only be used once per page, while the class attribute can be used multiple times. The id attribute is typically used to uniquely identify a specific element, while the class attribute is used to group elements with similar characteristics. How can you create a hyperlink in HTML? You can create a hyperlink in HTML using the tag. The href attribute of the tag specifies the URL or file path of the destination. For example: Visit Example This will create a hyperlink that, when clicked, will take the user to the specified website. What is the role of forms in HTML? Forms are an essential part of HTML and are used to collect user input. They allow users to enter data, make selections, and submit information to the server for processing. HTML provides several tags for creating forms, such as ``, ,, and ``. These tags enable the creation of input fields, checkboxes, radio buttons, dropdown menus, and text areas. What are some new features in HTML5? HTML5 introduced numerous features that improve the web development experience. Some notable features include: - Canvas: A powerful element for drawing graphics on the fly. - Video and Audio: Built-in support for embedding videos and audios without the need for external plugins. - Local Storage: Allows websites to store data on the user's device. - Geolocation: Enables websites to retrieve the user's geographic location. How can you style HTML elements? CSS (Cascading Style Sheets) is used to style HTML elements and control their appearance. CSS allows you to set properties like color, font size, margin, padding, and more. You can apply CSS styles to HTML elements by using the style attribute or by linking an external CSS file to the HTML document. The style attribute applies styles directly to the selected element, while an external CSS file provides a centralized way of managing styles for multiple elements. What is the role of CSS in HTML? CSS plays a vital role in HTML by separating the presentation from the structure. It allows web developers to control the layout, colors, fonts, and other visual aspects of a web page. CSS also enables the creation of responsive designs that adapt to different screen sizes, making websites more accessible on various devices. By using CSS, you can enhance the user experience and make your web pages visually appealing. Conclusion In this article, we have covered some important HTML interview questions and provided detailed answers to help you prepare for your next interview. HTML is a fundamental skill for web development, and having a good understanding of its various features is essential. By mastering HTML, you will be able to create stunning and interactive web pages. So, keep practicing and exploring the vast world of HTML! FAQs FAQ 1: Is HTML a programming language? No, HTML is not a programming language. It is a markup language used for structuring web pages and defining their content. FAQ 2: Can I use HTML without CSS? Yes, you can use HTML without CSS. However, CSS is recommended to enhance the visual appearance and layout of your web pages. FAQ 3: Is HTML case-sensitive? In general, HTML is not case-sensitive. However, it is good practice to use lowercase tags and attribute names for consistency. FAQ 4: Can I use HTML to create mobile apps? While HTML can be used to create mobile apps, it is more commonly used for building responsive web pages that can be accessed on mobile devices. FAQ 5: Are there any alternatives to HTML? Some alternative markup languages to HTML include XML (eXtensible Markup Language) and Markdown. However, HTML remains the standard for web development due to its widespread usage and browser support. Read the full article

[shihalyfie]

Maybe you can explain to me - what's the deal with Ryo Akiyama? He has his WonderSwan games, he cameos in Our War Game, then in 02, then pops up in Tamers as a semi-major character, and supposedly it's the same Ryo in *everything*? Even though his personality isn't even consistent between depictions? I can understand if it's different versions of the same person, but... Could there be a weird production reason for this or something?

You know what? I've got some free time (something I don't have a lot of lately) between work and playing Survive, so what the hell, why not: it's time for a completely Akiyama Ryou-centric meta!

Who is Akiyama Ryou? Why is he so popular among Japanese Digimon fans? Why does he pop up in Adventure, 02, Tamers, and V-Tamer with almost mutually exclusive and contradictory portrayals? What happened here? Obviously, he’s canon to both 02 and Tamers, but how does that even make sense? Well, a lot of this has to do with the complicated history of Ryou in real life, in terms of the history of his games and what development notes for the anime have indicated about planning regarding Ryou. And unfortunately, a lot of Ryou’s meta-history is often misleadingly reported or even outright smothered in misinformation in English-speaking circles, making the issue even more confusing.

The tl;dr is that almost everything messy about this is extremely likely to be Bandai’s fault.

So what are the “WonderSwan games”?

As you are probably likely to know already, Ryou originates from a series of Digimon games for the WonderSwan, Bandai’s handheld console that never left Asia but did have a pretty decent following in Japan (at least until it got wrecked by the Game Boy Advance).

Now, here’s the part I’m going to deliver in a way that probably sounds really cold, but please understand that understanding this context is really important to understanding what went on with Ryou here: while many Digimon games have fans who are Digimon fans (and they are no less valid for it), most of them are actually awful games by general video game standards. The writing is usually low-effort at best, and if anime canon characters from Adventure or whatnot appear in it, they’ll be horribly out of character with flanderized or just really off characterizations (even Re:Digitize, generally agreed to be one of the better games, is not immune to this). And this was especially the case back then, when the games Bandai was churning out were basically the equivalent of the kind of bargain bin game churned out to cash in on marketing value more than they were actually any good as video games. There are exceptions, but they’re few and far between, and that was especially the case back in the day when Bandai was obviously much better of a toy company than a game company. It’s only very recently, like “last decade” recently, that Digimon games have actually started putting any real effort into nuanced writing, and that’s probably mostly because of a certain former Tekken producer named Habu Kazumasa becoming a hardcore diehard Digimon fan who started actually pushing for better writing.

The WonderSwan games, which also are equally as guilty of completely destroying the anime characters’ canon characterization and generally being very bare bones, might have been completely tossed into the ether and remembered in history as more low-effort licensing cash-ins if not for Akiyama Ryou and Millenniummon and his whole entire surrounding saga. Not because the games were the pinnacle of the world’s greatest writing, and not because they really integrated all that well with anime canon (in fact, play the games or watch a Let’s Play and you’ll see timeline and characterization contradictions all over the place to degrees that make the anime’s awkward handling of the issue look masterful in comparison). But I think the best way to describe this is similar to how many people feel about the original Pokémon games for the Game Boy. The games themselves are riddled with bugs and sloppy programming to embarrassing degrees, and the writing is stilted, barely present, and at times borderline surreal...but at the same time the concept of it all was so strong that it captivated an entire generation with so little and kickstarted one of the world’s most profitable franchises. Those games actually didn’t have a lot of substance in themselves, but the concept was strong, and the gaps were just big enough for imaginative kids to fill in the blanks with their own creative ideas.

That’s basically also what went on here with Akiyama Ryou. Advertised as “the ninth Chosen Child” and featuring a post-Adventure side story where Ryou is called to save Taichi and his friends and teams up with and fights against familiar faces, eventually fighting the embodiment of a Y2K bug who eventually becomes his eternal rival, even if they didn’t really have much to it when actually put into practice on the WonderSwan (and to be fair, it was handheld hardware from the late nineties, it’s not like it probably could have particularly detailed writing), it’s just a lot of interesting concepts that make a kid inspired to fill in the details of what’s going on with Ryou’s adventures, especially since it’s (apparently) canon to the anime as well. You can’t deny there’s appeal in the idea of a Tamer who’s sent around to do odd, unusual jobs with “borrowed” partners and fighting against the embodiment of Y2K.

Thus, Ryou became a popular character, and in very much the same way Pokémon fans latch on to the idea of Red as the world’s most badass Trainer despite the fact we don’t know a single thing about him except the fact he apparently doesn’t talk much, many a Japanese Digimon fan became very attached to Ryou and the tale of how he became a “legendary Tamer”.

The many attempts to get Ryou into the anime

Digimon is what’s known as a “media mix”, meaning it’s a franchise that’s fundamentally planned as a multimedia outlet from the get-go. Ultimately, it’s more Bandai’s IP than Toei’s, which means that if they veto any idea the anime staff has, the anime staff can’t go with it, and if they demand something get put in the anime, the anime staff has to go along with it.

As I said earlier, Ryou’s games are far from the only games to have glaring contradictions with the anime, and since Ryou’s games are more about him than they are the Adventure or Tamers characters, that probably puts them in a better position than games that are ostensibly supposed to be anime tie-ins but aren’t great about it (trying to think too hard about how Digital Card Arena makes sense with the rest of 02 will make your head hurt). However, since Ryou was a popular character, Bandai and Toei started entering in talks to make Ryou relevant to the anime, too. The thing is, though, with the games already off the rails in regards to consistency with the anime in the first place, that basically left the anime staff at a complete loss as to how. Interviews with the anime staff on the matter have all graciously stated that this kind of thing is probably just inevitable when you have a media mix, and, putting Bandai’s known history of being completely unhelpful about this issue in every way imaginable aside, this is probably true to at least some extent (as long as two branches of a media mix are being planned simultaneously, it’s very unlikely they’ll be perfectly consistent with each other).

As a result, the anime staff started making repeated attempts to find a way to fit Ryou in the plot somehow, but the problem is that the games themselves didn’t really give them a lot to work with, and Ryou didn’t even have much of what you could call a characterization in said games (again, it’s all in the realm of where you’re supposed to be filling in the blanks imagining what he’s like). The first known appearance is Ryou (in Turkey, for some reason) sending an email to Taichi and Koushirou in the Diablomon fight in Our War Game! (This was probably just intended as a “cute reference” at the time, but starts posing problems for Tag Tamers later; see below.)

After that, the staff started discussing making Ryou the central character of the summer 02 movie, presumably because the “self-contained” nature of a movie would allow for them to explore Ryou without interfering with the main series too much, and it would have also given them the opportunity to expand on his relation to Ken’s backstory -- but the plotline of the movie ended up rejected for being too depressing for a summer movie, we ended up getting Hurricane Touchdown instead, and Ryou ended up only getting his short 02 cameos in episodes 23 and 43. (Amusingly, if the original plan for the movie with Ryou had gone through, Ryou would have likely been Terriermon’s partner instead of Wallace.)

It does seem that, as part of planning, the anime staff and Bandai had firmly agreed that Ken’s backstory would be related to a game tie-in, so that part was non-negotiable even if the movie with Ryou was scrapped. In fact, in real life, the game in question, Tag Tamers, was released right before 02 episode 21 aired -- meaning audiences would get a taste of the knowledge that Ken was, indeed, originally a good-natured and kind young child who fell victim to dark forces before it was formally revealed in the anime. So when the relevant scene in 02 episode 23 aired, the kids could point at the screen and go “I remember that!!”, and they’d have extra information about Millenniummon’s role in Ken’s downfall to work with as the plot went on. As you can imagine, very fun for the kids.

However, if you look into it closely, despite it apparently being important for Ken’s backstory, Tag Tamers...doesn’t make sense with the anime, and despite what a lot of people like to claim about it being “necessary” to understand what was going on with Ken, it actually makes it even more confusing:

According to the game, Ken and Ryou were sucked into the Digital World after witnessing the Diablomon incident together, but this contradicts Ryou’s depiction in Our War Game!, Ken getting depicted as going in and out of the Digital World alone in the 02 episode 23 flashback, and Ken’s statement that his encounter with Digimon was in August 2000 (long after the Diablomon incident in March 2000!) in 02 episode 33.

Ken is characterized in ways that would make the emotional backdrop of his backstory in 02 completely fall apart. The game has him recognized as as “boy genius” even at that point in time (the fact that Osamu was and Ken wasn’t is vital to backstory), his room is full of toys and sports equipment when Ken and Osamu’s room conspicuously lacking anything that allowed them to be “normal kids” informs their characters, Wormmon doesn’t even call Ken “Ken-chan” despite that being vital to their relationship...

Ken is a year older in the game than he was during his initial Digital World trip in the 02 episode 23 flashback, and considering Ken coming back to the real world alone and clearly not gravely ill is a major plot point, him making only one trip to the Digital World doesn’t quite make sense.

The epilogue of the game depicts Ken clearly remembering Millenniummon when declaring himself the Digimon Kaiser, but that would open up a huge can of worms regarding the Kaiser’s depiction in 02.

One game later, in D-1 Tamers, the young Ken has an almost naively chipper attitude towards Ryou apparently vanishing off the face of the planet, and he tells Gennai to “cheer up” because Ryou will definitely come back, in such an insensitive manner that a Japanese Let’s Player called the game’s Ken “irresponsible”.

To be blunt about it, it seems the only information Bandai and Toei had in common was that Ken was a good kid in the past who met Wormmon in the Digital World and fell into darkness after a piece of Millenniummon lodged into him, and everything else is contradictory!

Ryou in Tamers

Nevertheless, Ryou didn’t really show up in 02, so there was still a stake on Bandai’s part (and by extension, on the part of anime producer Seki Hiromi, whose job description also involved representing Bandai’s wishes for the anime staff) to actually get him in the anime this time, so when things rolled around to Tamers the attempt was made again. The problem was, Tamers was not in the same universe in Adventure, and so far, Ryou had only appeared in games that were (ostensibly) in the Adventure universe.

The full details of the story behind how Ryou ended up the way he was portrayed in Tamers came from a blog post by Konaka from 2021 (which I will not be linking here for various reasons, but savvy people can probably find the post themselves). The events went as follows:

Seki decided to have Ryou appear in the Digital World arc, feeling it would be best to have him in the Digital World due to Tamers being, in her words, "a meta-Adventure" (basically, she felt the Digital World arc would be a better place to put a meta element like Ryou rather than one of the real world parts of the story)

Konaka agreed to it at first, knowing he was working with a media mix franchise and this came with the territory (and Ryou’s presence in Tamers was determined before he even joined the staff), but later learned about what the games entailed and realized this risked having to connect with the Adventure universe when the whole point was that they weren’t the same universe

Konaka decided to avoid the topic of bringing in his history with Ken since that would (rather understandably) make things overcomplicated

...so basically, the decision on how to address Ryou’s presence in the Tamers universe on the part of the anime staff was just to not deal with it at all.

According to Konaka, while Ryou’s Tamers characterization isn’t necessarily meant to contradict the WonderSwan games, he still focused on making Ryou a character more for Tamers than anything else. Ryou’s status as a “legendary Tamer” is obviously a wink and a nod to the games (and, of course, a way to appease all the fans who would murder if Ryou were portrayed as anything less, kind of like how Pokémon fans would also murder if you insinuate that Red is anything less than the world’s coolest badass), but it also comes from Konaka himself -- he was apparently inspired by the character of Tuttle from the movie Brazil, in that he showed up in the Digital World before them and was a super awesome senior who showed everyone up by being badass. As for Ryou’s characterization, Konaka let Yoshimura Genki (the writer for his first episode) basically handle his entire characterization, which was also heavily inspired by his voice actor Kanemaru Junichi having a similar “refreshing” personality. The part about his antagonistic relationship with Ruki apparently came from simple logical inference that if he were an accomplished Tamer, he must have met Ruki at some point, and they probably wouldn’t get along, and so on and so forth.

So as you can see, the Tamers writing staff really wrote Ryou as a Tamers character more than they did a character from the WonderSwan games, but they also deliberately left enough doors open so they wouldn’t incur a direct contradiction. And, again, you can tell that Bandai never really gave them a Ryou characterization to work with in the first place -- it’s apparent Ryou would have had different characterization if he’d been in the 02 summer movie as originally planned, or not voiced by Kanemaru.

True to form, Bandai’s next two games sort of seemed to explain how Ryou jumped universes; D-1 Tamers depicts Ryou getting recruited into a fake tournament by the (uncharacteristically jerkass-like) Adventure kids and set to fight against Millenniummon again, which blows them through the multiverse. One game later, in Brave Tamer, an amnesiac Ryou engages in a battle with Millenniummon across the multiverse (including the Tamers universe) and even partners up with a Monodramon, who forces a Jogress between himself and Millenniummon to end the battle once and for all, the idea being that he’ll counter Millenniummon’s endless hate for his rival Ryou with his own love for Ryou, resulting in an egg that we’re probably supposed to assume will eventually hatch into Tamers!Cyberdramon. (Contrary to popular English-speaking fandom rumor, there is no indication Millenniummon was ever Ryou’s partner besides in this way.) So that explains everything, right?

...Not really.

Brave Tamer ends in a cliffhanger of sorts. It doesn’t explain whether Ryou ever gets his memories back. It doesn’t explain where Ryou goes after that. It definitely does not explain how this is supposed to lead up to Ryou having a dad in Fukuoka or a multiple-year career in the Digimon card game, nor the fact that the backstory for Ryou and Cyberdramon in Message in the Packet doesn’t match the above at all...I mean, it’s probably theoretically possible to come with an explanation, but it will definitely make your head hurt. And then to make things worse, in 2002 V-Tamer had a crossover chapter with Ryou, and his personality is in stark contradiction with the Tamers version (in that he’s portrayed as an argumentative hot-blooded protagonist type), probably because, again, the games never actually gave Ryou a characterization, and Yabuno and Izawa were probably just using their own interpretation of what he must have been like in the games.

So are all of these versions of Ryou the same character?

The official stance is technically yes, but...

In an (extremely infamous) interview from 2002, Seki confirmed that 02 and Tamers Ryou are indeed intended to be taken as the same character. The thing is, almost everyone on the Japanese end, and by that I mean including Adventure/02 and Tamers staff, has called bullshit on this, or has at least been really shocked that this is apparently supposed to be the case (for example, Kakudou himself saying in 2003 that he was still shocked about that). The Japanese wiki article for Ryou on Pixiv immediately follows Seki’s statement up with the observation that this doesn’t make sense. However, vague wording from staff since then has also hinted at the real reason Seki said this: because she has to represent Bandai’s wishes for the anime staff (and vice versa), she probably had no other choice, because Bandai made D-1 Tamers and Brave Tamer under the obvious premise they’re supposed to be the same character, so she has to deliver their viewpoint regardless of how much sense that makes or not. (Otherwise, she’d be basically telling the public that the games are wrong, and Bandai would obviously not be happy with that.) In the aforementioned 2021 blog post, Konaka admitted that his choice to dodge the topic of Ken in the course of Ryou’s Tamers portrayal probably contributed to forcing Seki to give that very forced explanation.

Although the Japanese fanbase still likes Ryou and the games, most people on that end generally don’t really treat them as the same character, and the aforementioned Pixiv wiki’s suggestion is that you treat them like different timeline possibilities of the same character akin to Ultraman’s “parallel isotopes”. Ryou is still clearly canon to 02, and canon to Tamers, and nobody disputes that, but the part that's more uncertain is whether the events of the WonderSwan games themselves are canon to Adventure/02/Tamers or whether it's more of a "broad strokes" thing (or in other words, something mostly resembling what happened in the games is canon to Adventure, 02, and Tamers, but it can’t be precisely the same way with the exact same presentation because there would be massive logical contradictions).

Pixiv’s stance is that Ryou’s background in the games is “somewhat parallel” to 02 (a shorthand way of saying “treat it as if it’s canon AU, but something close to its events did happen in the original timeline”), and for the most part I generally feel like I’ve seen people approach Tamers!Ryou somewhat differently than they do the original WonderSwan Ryou. Personally, I’ve already written about the arbitrariness of “canon” in Digimon, how official stance has always been “everything is canon regardless of how much sense that makes”, and how individual fans will have to decide their own stances on each issue for themselves. The WonderSwan games are only the first in a long line of things that make Digimon fold on itself in terms of canon, so the best thing to do is just accept that Bandai and Toei probably aren’t interested in making any more clear statements on the matter, and figure it out for yourself.

[hisredhysteria]

Vampire Headcanons

Note: Ah yes, the person who likes Diabolik Lovers making vampire headcanons— ...I know almost nothing about vampires other than what I've seen from Diabolik Lovers....so this is made purely for fun! This is going to be a bit of a long post, and yes the headers are from the more gory cgs of Diabolik Lovers. I'm using them because....well this post is another inspired by my love for Diabolik Lovers..

TW: Blood & maybe slightly suggestive sounding wording? I didn't mean for it to sound suggestive in some areas, but...

Summary: I essentially made 9 questions and then answered them for all 7 of the Akudama. The questions imply that the person they're feeding on is the reader.. so it is NOT just general vampire hcs.

Swindler

Their favorite spot to bite?

Your wrist. She knows it hurts almost more than any other body part to bite, but something in her heart feels connected to yours biting this spot. Perhaps it's because she can easily look in your eyes for approval as she does it. Or possibly because she can't wait to have your hand ghost itself across her jawline, working to comfort her for the guilt she feels drinking from you.

It's also the easiest place to clean or wrap up for you when she's finished. It's the least she feels she can do for you.

How sharp are their fangs?

They're average in sharpness, which makes it a little more frustrating for her to break skin. Especially when she's trying hard not to hurt the person she is feeding from.

Hers are also on the smaller side for length.

How long do they hold off trying to bite you?

Swindler feels extremely guilty about feeding from the people she loves. In which case, she'll hold off for as long as she possibly can and she may hold off until you ask her why she's been so.... distant. She does not become ravenous when she is hungry, and she'd rather starve than burden you. She's even hesitant if you offer yourself to her.

After a while of knowing the person she chooses to feed from, she might bring herself to ask. It's a very shameful thing for her to feel like she has to do, even when you both know she's going to get hungry at some point.

Are they careful about your comfort when they bite you?

She is very worried about your comfort, which is why she holds off for so long.

She does know the more hesitant that she goes about biting into your flesh, the more pain is caused to you from having to wait for her fangs to finally sink in.

Because of this, she braces herself and mentally tries to prepare both of you before she embeds her teeth into you as fast as she can. The first few times she may even ask you not to look as she does it...

She slightly panics if you start to feel faint or lightheaded too...and she's very good about getting you snacks or drinks when she's done with her feeding.

What does their sucking feel like?

Her sucking is short but powerful. Large bursts of your blood fill her mouth in a short period of time.

She bites one spot and chooses not to bite in multiple spots within one session because it's unnecessary marking at that point.

She's a little on the inexperienced side because she tries to suppress her appetite for as long as possible. As a result, feedings will usually be on the more painful side, even when hurting you is not her intention.

How much do they drink when they bite you?

For the most part, Swindler is very careful not to go too far and she may stop short, even if she's still hungry.

The more comfortable she grows with her prey, the more likely she can be to get wrapped up into a feeding.

She may accidentally suck until you're faint, just to feel as though she'll satisfy later urges.

If you tell her to stop, she will, but she has potential to go on for a few more moments to be sure she's not going to be hungry later.

How often do they bite?

If she had it her way, she'd prefer to bite you more often than she actually does. But, because she holds herself back...not often. She'll max out maybe a couple of days before she has to at least ask for your blood...but she hopes you'll offer before then...

As she grows comfortable with you, feedings will become more frequent.

Are they willing to share you?

She will not get as territorial as some of the others. However, Swindler would prefer not to share your blood with others and will become disheartened if she finds another's bite marks on your flesh. She's prone to always thinking that you fell victim...and she only hopes that you didn't go out to seek others to suck your blood.

In fact, if you do seek others to suck your blood, she may feel less about herself or as if she's somehow less deserving of you allowing her feedings.

Anything else we should know?

Swindler limits herself to just your blood. She will not turn to others for a feeding as long as she has you around, although this may have been obvious.

She can be light-hearted and joke every once and a while about her circumstances. Teasing you with, "Don't make me bite you~" if you test her. She is joking though, because she is not one to bite you without consent first, no matter how bad it may hurt to starve.

She was turned. Or you could say half-bred because she was human before she was a vampire.

Brawler

Their favorite spot to bite?

Anywhere he can get his hands on. Or at least, anywhere easily accessible as he can be quite impatient.

Usually this is your arm. It's quite easy to grab your arm, yank it up, pull down your sleeve, and sink his fangs into any spot.

He also does tend to prefer more meaty or fleshy areas as opposed to something bony like the wrist.

How sharp are their fangs?

Dull, but long, and if you think that would make it more of a challenge to break the flesh of the person he's feeding from, you would be right.

It may seem like a challenge he finds fun, but he doesn't get pleasure from you struggling in pain and it only frustrates him when he's extremely hungry.

He doesn't have a hard time getting through the flesh himself, it's just the pain the other person will endure. Brawler has a strong bite to accommodate his dull fangs.

How long do they hold off trying to bite you?

He holds back with someone he cares about while sinking his teeth into those who mean as little as nothing to him.

He only bites the person he cares about after having satisfied his previous hunger. The person he likes is seen as a dessert.

He may not think to feed from the person he likes either, not unless they ask him to at first....which piques his interest a little... why would you want him to bite you, eh?

It's nothing that he can't do though...just be careful when you ask for such a thing...

Are they careful about your comfort when they bite you?

This will depend on the person he's feeding from. His need for blood is so great, there's really no need take all that much time to be careful about it.

Usually the only time he does happen to care is if you are struggling....then of course killing you is always an option...there are plenty of other people to feed from and he's not too terribly picky.

Brawler likes ya though, so while he'll come off as aggressive, he won't be nearly as messy and careless with you as long as he's had his appetizer. In fact, you struggling doesn't have to be as bad as it would be if it were just any ole victim. You're challenging his ability to hold you down in a way and he doesn't seem to mind.

The noiser this feeding ordeal is, the better in some cases. Key word though, SOME.

What does their sucking feel like?

His bite is quick because of the strength of his jaw. His sucking is in long powerful intervals.

He also likes to take his fangs out and sink them into another area as a habit when he feels like one spot is overly dried. With the one prey he picks to constantly feed on though, he'll make a few less marks. But don't feel too safe yet, getting carried away isn't at all beyond him.

How much do they drink when they bite you?

His hunger could easily drain a human and it's safe to say he's drained many. He takes as much as he wants, when he wants. And it tends to be quite a lot. His thirst can be almost insatiable at times.

As previously mentioned though, with someone he favors, he views them as a dessert for all the hard work he's put into draining others. Which means he's already quite full by the time he gets to you. Feedings then will only be a short period of time, unless he's had less of others blood to drink that day. Then his time averages a normal sized feeding to most other vampires with you.

In other words, you'll rarely go dizzy with Brawler unless others lives have been spared by him that day.

How often do they bite?

The person he's grown attached to? As long as you're around, quite a bit. Even if it's just a sip here and there after a large mass spree of drinking others blood. It's rare that he'll go a day without at least a sip of your blood.

Are they willing to share you?

Brawler has big potential to be territorial about a prey he's already made known as his. Do not bite his human and think that he won't stir up a fight about it. He will, and he'll likely kill the other party.

He will not share you. Although, it MIGHT be easy to get away with having others suck you....as long as he can't see the bite marks. He doesn't think to search for them either..

He does think to mark you, and he proudly will to ward off others.

Anything else we should know?

He does not limit himself to your blood, as stated. Brawler will feed from others, even if he has you around. Which isn't necessarily meant to be a bad thing because this in some way spares your life for a longer period of time. It means he's grown fond of just you too.

He's also a purebred.

Doctor

Their favorite spot to bite?

Sensual area's. The neck is a luxury she may slowly lead herself up to when she's into it. Specifically the carotid artery...right below the jaw. It's got potential to be lethal...but she's a Doctor, so she knows what she's doing... right?

She starts at places like the wrists and works her way up the arm, to the collarbone, and of course, lastly is the taste of your neck.

The lip is another big one for her. Her kisses can be bloody.

How sharp are their fangs?

Pointy and sharper than most vampire fangs. This makes breaking skin a lot easier and it can be quite satisfying for someone like Doctor.

They're also quite long in length.

How long do they hold off trying to bite you?

Not long at all because there's essentially no reason to force herself to wait. She does not need direct permission to suck your blood because if she wants it, she'll have it. Even if it means having to trick you to make it easier.

Sometimes she'll wait however. Just to scare you a little—keeping you on edge. She's great at the anticipation game and patience is something she can conjure up if absolutely necessary. She has to get hungry at some point. She knows, and she also knows that you know.

Are they careful about your comfort when they bite you?

If she likes you, this may be an astounding depends.

She gets ecstacy from her victim in absolute fear of what she has to offer them in terms of pain. But, because she can seem to take a liking to certain individuals she finds intriguing, she'll tease their comfortability.

She won't ever make anything entirely comfortable, so you're on edge still ...but soft hands caressing certain areas to let you know she at least hears your quiet cries may offer you something. Maybe even a potion to drink for replenishment afterwards.

If you're shaking and panicking too much though, it's no longer a cause that's serving her. If she doesn't kill you right then and there for doing so, she's sure to drain you later if it continues.

What does their sucking feel like?

Her technique changes based on how much she wants you to feel.

For regular feedings, her sucking intervals actually tend to be quite short and of average strength.

Only when she's been dying to feed from you will she throw away any decency and suck you so hard you'll feel ill from the pain.

How much do they drink when they bite you?

Doctor can become quite greedy.

If it's a punishment, she's sure to drain you until you've fainted in her arms and she can push you off to the ground with a delighted scoff.

If she's really thirsty, her feedings will last almost as long as her punishments, however they're done in a lot less brutal manner.

Regularly though, she sees you as a treat and doesn't over indulge unless she starts to get excited. A single bite just to tease you is also something to not put beyond her.

How often do they bite?

Ah, well your blood is delectable, but if she doesn't over indulge too much, she can keep you around for as long as she wishes. Blood replenishes as long as the heart is beating.

You're a treat to her, but a treat she's not afraid to have at least once a day. She may even threaten to bite as a tactic to punish you if she thinks you've done something against her wishes. You won't know if she plans to actually drink from you until she's already doing so.

In other words, you'll experience plenty of bites under Doctor's care.

Are they willing to share you?

Oh, is she?

Most definitely not. She is not willing to share you, which makes her all the more interesting. She'll punish you for letting others drink your blood, and she even hopes you'll go out of your way to do so. This way she has a reason to punish you.

If you do seek out others to feed from you, her interest only piques however. She'll be sure to bite the same marks as the other vampire left on you, just to teach you a lesson.

She may even leave marks to let others know that you're already someone else's prey.

Anything else we should know?

You two are not exclusive and she will not limit herself to just your blood. She will feed from you the most and she'll see you as her little plaything....but Doctor does not hesitate to initiate feedings with other humans as well. In fact, she may do so with anyone that piques her interest, so it's best to not get jealous if you hear one taking place...

Unless of course, you're looking for a punishment...then feel free to interrupt..

She's also a purebred.

She drinks blood from wine glasses.

Hacker

Their favorite spot to bite?

The shoulder and wrist. Both are easily accessible and not too terribly intimate. One or the other is where he'd choose to bite depending on his mood.

Poking his fangs into your fingers is also something he enjoys to do. So perhaps fingers is another favorite spot.

How sharp are their fangs?

Sharp, but on the smaller side for length.

It's not too difficult for him to actually break into flesh, it's just a little difficult to suck because of them being on the shorter side.

How long do they hold off trying to bite you?

He does not wait long because he sees no point in holding back something he'll have to give into sooner or later anyways. Delaying it does neither party any good as it's eventually going to be inevitable.

He's likely to wait until you at least feel somewhat comfortable in his presence though because this means you'll struggle against him less....

He's also not completely comfortable drinking blood from just anyone...

Are they careful about your comfort when they bite you?

With someone he truly cares about, yes. He'll try to look into ways that can make the blood sucking experience a less painful one too.

Hacker may experiment with sucking blood from certain areas on your body to gauge your reaction. He's only trying to see if it's any less painful than the previous spot he bit. Perhaps this is actually just a game to him that he brings up every once and a while though...or maybe he really is trying to help.

Hacker has the potential to be just a little on the sadistic side. After all, you're still prey, so why not play around? He might like to hear you cry in pain at some points, but he's not going to do anything to hurt you on purpose...or at least intentionally go out of his way to make it more painful. It's only the features on your face that can be quite amusing when contorted in pain, that's all.

He does get frustrated and slightly irritated when or if you struggle...but it's usually because it makes it tougher on both of you to get the feeding session over with.

He will stop short to give you long breaks in between and does not prefer to bite multiple spots in one feeding if he's taking it seriously.

What does their sucking feel like?

His sucking lasts for long intervals.

His sucking is also on the weaker side, so it may even take him a longer time to feel any satisfaction from sucking your blood...

This makes the session more excruciating in terms of pain...

How much do they drink when they bite you?

This greatly depends on his mood, hunger and the reason he's biting you.

He will have moments where he bites you on a whim because you offered jokingly and he took you up on it. Those moments he drags out because he knows you won't mind the extra attention. In which, you'll be losing quite a lot of blood.

As for drinking when he's hungry, not much more than the average amount of blood and maybe less than average because he is fuller from a smaller amount than most.

If he is VERY hungry though, he'll drink you until you're dizzy and nothing is going to stop him.

How often do they bite?

A lot. He doesn't see a point in not indulging when he's hungry and because he can, why not play around with the ability of his fangs either?

Not all of his bites will be for feeding purposes and he'll enjoy scraping along your skin to tease you with anticipation. Or perhaps he's just doing it to build up the anticipation of finally sinking his fangs into your skin himself...

Are they willing to share you?

He will not make it known that he doesn't want to share you.

If you do seek others to suck your blood, he's very upset, but good at hiding it.

He isn't going to stop you from seeking others to suck your blood either, but it makes him incredibly jealous and he may begin to withhold feeding from you. Especially if he sees another vampires fang marks on you that indicate your attention has been spent elsewhere.

Hacker may also leave an "accidentally" nasty bite mark somewhere obvious if it means others will leave you alone by default.

If it gets to be too much, he will lose interest in you as his prey altogether.

Anything else we should know?

Hacker limits himself to your blood and your blood only. While he's feeding from you, he will not turn to other humans for a meal.

Hacker was turned, or human before he was a vampire, which may explain why he's eager to explore certain aspects of suddenly having fangs...— It's foreign for the most part.

He doesn't like to feel like a stranger to the person he's feeding from either, so he doesn't mind if you tug at his clothes to help deal with the pain. He knows why you'd do it, and may even like it because then he knows you're in some way accepting of the feeding.

Hacker drinks from you until you feel dizzy and then challenges you to see how far you can walk afterwards...maybe if you're lucky... he'll catch you when you fall..

Hoodlum

Their favorite spot to bite?

Anywhere you'll let him for the most part, but going in for the shoulder feels the most natural to him, so he'll default to your shoulder in any case...as long as he's comfortable...

The arm is another place he feels somewhat safe drinking from.

How sharp are their fangs?

His fangs are sharper than Hackers, however they are short in length as well.

It isn't too hard for him to break through flesh, although he does make it out to be harder than it really needs to be at times...

How long do they hold off trying to bite you?

Oh boy, well... Hoodlum attempts to hold off...as long as he possibly can. He's actually quite guilty about this in at least some aspect.

Eventually it may get to the point where he's subtly hinting to you that he's hungry. And that maybe...you know...you should let him have just a small taste of your blood. To tide him over is all....

If you don't catch on, perhaps he'll just have to beg you for a feeding session. Point being, he caves quite fast to his hunger around you.

Are they careful about your comfort when they bite you?

This may depend on how hungry he is. He's never trying to hurt you on purpose, but if he's been starved for a while, your comfort may not be the very first thing he worries about until you signal you're in pain.

If he's not overridden by hunger, he's actually a little nervous seeming about having to bite into you. Instead of offering much comfort to you, he'll likely panic as well...!

If he hears you cry out in agony, he'll pull away or be even more hesitant when biting you the next time around.

So your comfort does matter to him, at least enough for him to worry.

What does their sucking feel like?

Inconsistent for the most part, but he tends to take blood in shorter intervals and his sucking may be a little weak when the feeding first starts. It'll gradually become stronger, but never too much so.

His nervousness about feeding at some points may cause him to pull away, and if he does so he isn't usually going to bite you again. The session may end there unless of course....he's still too hungry for his own good....

How much do they drink when they bite you?

So, Hoodlum does have potential to be greedy. While he is antsy about potentially draining his prey, he's not entirely opposed to drinking way more than he should.

Once he's grown comfortable, he's very likely to over indulge and make it a habit....then feel guilty later when your pale and ill feeling.

When he's a little more on the nervous side that day, he does not drink enough to satisfy himself unless you encourage him however.

....if he doesn't get "enough", there could be a situation where he'll end up begging you for more...

How often do they bite?

Feedings might start off with little happening but...

Quite often after a while. He can't always seem to control himself and the more used to having your blood that he gets, the more heavily he'll begin to crave and ask for it.

Are they willing to share you?

....No. He's not extremely territorial by any means unless he begins to feel as though he has to be, but Hoodlum does not want to share.

He isn't pushy at first, which leads to the unfortunate potential that his boundaries be crossed...but he'll let you know that he's hurt or disappointed if he sees another's bite marks on your skin. If he doesn't outright say it either, the look in his eyes will.

Hoodlum himself would like to bite you in a way to show potential competitors that you're his, but he does not like the thought of ending up a target to others because he has a constant supply of blood.

Anything else we should know?

Hoodlum does not seek out others to feed from and he is rather loyal to just you. There's no need to feel as though Hoodlum would drink another humans blood...unless something happened to you...that is. Even still, he may just prefer to let himself starve if something does.

Hoodlum was turned. He was originally a human..

Hoodlum is also an easy target for other vampires...

Courier

Their favorite spot to bite?

He doesn't have a favorite spot and is fine with wherever the person he's feeding from wants him to bite them.

If you're making him choose, the nape...and he usually likes to bite from behind so he doesn't have to chance seeing the person's expressions as he does it.

The closer he gets to someone though, the more he may choose to bite from the front. In which case he goes for the chest//collarbone area.

How sharp are their fangs?

Sharp. They were meant to do their job.

They're also on the longer side, but definitely not as long as Doctor's might appear to be.

How long do they hold off trying to bite you?

A while. He likes to hold his own, so depending on someone else to satisfy a need of his is frustrating and demeaning. He'd rather not cave to something like this if he does not have to.

Of course, he's going to get hungry at some point though, and when he does he's decent at hiding it.

Unless you're already in some sort of bond, he doesn't want you offering yourself to him either. It's even more demeaning that you think he needs something from you. Or that you believe he can't just ask you himself.

.....he may not even ask when he does finally bite you for the first time. He just can't control himself after letting the hunger linger for too long.

Are they careful about your comfort when they bite you?

Interesting question for someone like Courier, and this would be another astounding.... depends.

If he notices you're having a tough time or are in pain, he'll give subtle gestures that indicate he acknowledges your discomfort and is at least trying to be gentle.

If you get too noisy, he may even pull away and stop.

If he thinks you can handle it though and you're showing no signs of any discomfort, he doesn't hold back or attempt at anything because it's an extra effort that seems unnecessary according to the situation.

If you're feeling faint or do end up falling over and needing his assistance, he is quick to act on your body's needs by catching you or holding you, then getting you something to eat or drink. Albeit.... he'll add a comment in there about you being dead weight...but you must mean something to him if he's going out of his way. Or perhaps he feels guilty for having drained you so much that you're weak in the first place...

What does their sucking feel like?

He sucks your blood in long intervals, and they're really quite strong.

While his fangs break skin quite easily, his feedings are unintentionally one of the more painful ones.

Courier may seem like a single biter....but he'll pull his fangs out and bite in more than just one spot in a single session. He doesn't do it to mark you for others or anything...it's just a habit that feels more convenient when the one spot he's sucking from has become too...sore...

How much do they drink when they bite you?

Courier is careful with how much he drinks because he'd prefer if his feedings are as quick and smooth as possible. He does not want to make the person he is feeding from dizzy from it because it only means that much more of a hassle than he already has to deal with....

He may accidentally over indulge at times where he lets his thirst catch up to him. It's not so much that he's trying to suck you dry as much as it is him trying to quench the thirst he let build up...

He's also one to drink more in one feeding than he feels necessary to hold him off for longer periods of time.

How often do they bite?

Rarely. He will not bite you unless the hunger is enough to get in the way of other things.

This may change eventually as he grows closer with you though. The more he sees that you can handle his feedings, the more he's able to convince himself that it's okay to drink a little more than usual. As long as it's your blood.

Are they willing to share you?

Now, Courier will not say anything if you go off to others. In fact, he may be surprised if you don't want your blood sucked by anyone other than him.

If you do come back with bite marks that he can visibly see, you'll earn yourself a tongue click.

He is likely a little disappointed that you've gone off to another, but he wasn't trying to harbor hope that you wouldn't in the first place.

He doesn't hold hostility towards you for doing it either, nor will you receive punishment. Although...he will avoid the spot where the other vampire has bitten you for a while after he sees the mark on your skin...

Later on, Courier does become protective over you though, so I'd keep that in mind. He's not necessarily territorial, but he'll do what he can to keep you away from others who want your blood.

Anything else we should know?

Courier does not turn to many, so it is safe to say that you're the only one he is sucking blood from.

Courier has a hard time looking at the bite marks he makes on your body after he's done. He finds it unfortunate that he's inflicted something out of his own control onto you.

Courier is a purebred.

Cutthroat

Their favorite spot to bite?

Anywhere that's openly accessible for him to sink his teeth into, but his favorite spot to bite would be your cheek. Mainly for the soft squishy texture between his teeth, but also because it requires him to get nearly as close as he can physically get.

A runner up is the left side of your chest. It's not the hardest to get to when compared to other spots, and it offers quite the flow of blood. It's also easily a very intimate spot.

I specified the left side as well because it's the side of your chest that your heart beats in.

How sharp are their fangs?

Sharp, but not sharper than average. It's quite easy for him to sink his fangs into things without needing much strength to do so.

Also a tad on the smaller side when talking about length, but not too small.

How long do they hold off trying to bite you?

His desires become quite strong and while it feels like he's been waiting an eternity, it's not been all that long for you.

It's more than likely the moment he started to become hungry after meeting you that he decided a taste of your blood is needed. Even if it's as much as a single lick from a wound.

He does have slight potential to hold off if he feels as though it only makes the moment he does finally bite you just that much more satisfying. But, it's still not as long as you might imagine when I say that. His desire and impulse will ultimately run deeper than his ability of self control.

Are they careful about your comfort when they bite you?

No. He's more worried about what he wants and the position or spot he wants to do things in once they get started.

If you start to struggle, it may depend on how hungry he is or how caught up he is in the moment though, because it's not as if he doesn't acknowledge your own discomfort at all...

If he's aching for just a drop of your blood, any resistance is met with whining neediness, impatience, and not necessarily anger...but he'll end up being forceful in the way he tries to keep you in his grasp. You're not getting away easily once he's decided what he wants and if you keep trying you MIGHT just upset him...

If he's feeling playful as well, he may take your struggling as a game that he has to win. Be careful.

What does their sucking feel like?

His sucking is brief, but for powerful intervals. Lots of your blood fills his mouth in a short period of time.

He's a little messy the longer the feeding lasts and he gets excited to take his fangs out and pierce them into your flesh. In multiple different spots, just to watch the blood spill out and trickle down your skin.

He's feedings will often range from delicate to excruciatingly painful, all depending on how much he feels he needs you at that moment.

The more emotionally driven feedings tend to be the worst ones.

How much do they drink when they bite you?

He gets very carried away and nothing is to stop him when he does. He'll drain you. On purpose and by accident. Either one of the other, which ever comes first. Your blood was simply too good in the moment and he'll become upset when having to find another person all for his childish mistake of sucking you dry too early.

The heavier you start to breathe from the panic he's causing you, the more excited he gets. So, in exchange, the more blood he'll drink. In a sense, he's encouraged by the energy of your fear.

Regularly, his feedings are actually short sessions because they're spot on decisions when he can't seem to get close enough to you. The closer he gets to a particular person, the longer feeding sessions will start to last.

How often do they bite?

Often enough to make you feel weak in the knees. Even for the sometimes short feedings to stave off any much longer ones to come, they happen frequently.

Biting you is his way of feeling closer, so the closer he does get, the more the scent of your blood drives him insane. Feedings increase as days go on and you may just find yourself dead.

Are they willing to share you?

No. He is not willing to share you. Cutthroat does not think to tell you that you can't let others have your blood, but if he sees bite marks from another, he gets incredibly upset like a child.

He'll remind you through a whine and a pout that you're supposed to be his and no one else is allowed to touch what belongs to him.

As a result to finding others marking and drinking from you, he's likely to suck your blood more in attempts to stop you from seeking out others. The reason you were looking to others was because he wasn't drinking enough to begin with, right..? Well, he's excited to solve that for you.

If he catches another vampire in the act of drinking your blood, they are dead.

In terms of marking, he actually does it moreso for himself to admire than he does to ward off other vampires from you.

Anything else we should know?

Cutthroat does not limit himself to just your blood, but this is not to be taken the same way as when I said this about Doctor.

His impulses causes him to seek out blood elsewhere, especially if you're not nearby him.

He doesn't bite other prey in the traditional sense, Cutthroat saves that for the prey he's most interested in. Instead, he cuts others he plans to feed from and licks at the open wounds he's left. It's quick and more fun than using just his teeth.

Cutthroat is also a purebred.

[theperfectlovestory]

Even If It's Not

Summary: It’s always been a good day with Natasha, until Wanda found you

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader; Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Theme: Fluff, Angst

Tw: trauma, reaction to trauma, mention of death

. . .

Summary: it’s always been a good day with Natasha, until Wanda found you

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader; Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Theme: Fluff, Angst

Tw: trauma, reaction to trauma, mention of death

. . .

It was one fine day, like all the others for the past year. You woke up early, sunlight warmly casting on your face as it peaked through the opening of the curtain. You can hear birds chirping in the background, making you smile

You blinked the sleep away from your eyes, raising a hand to your mouth to cover the incoming yawn. As you move, a warm arm enveloped you, and you smiled at the sight of her

This side of her only coming out when it’s just the two of you

Your beautiful redhead sleeping soundly in your arm, head tucked comfortably in your neck. An arm and a leg on top of your body, clinging to you like a baby koala

You always can't believe that the famous Natasha Romanoff, feared by friends and foes alike in the battlefield, is one hell of a clingy sleeper

You turn your head gently, glancing at the clock on your bedside table

Time to wake up. No work today but you wanted to get some groceries to fill your stocks

You tried to gently wiggle your way out of Natasha's hold, silently cheering when you got out of bed without waking her up. Natasha's soft giggle prove you otherwise, making you pout

"I'll go back to sleeping then" she huskily said before hugging your pillow and burying her face in your smell, curling herself on the bed

You watched her body relax as she falls deep in slumber once more, smiling softly at how peaceful she seemed to be

"I'm going grocery shopping, want to come?" You asked Natasha in between bites, she looked up at you from the file folder she have

She's still doing reports, doesn't mean your on mission vacation, paperwork will do themselves as well

"I'll be wherever you are, detka" she smiled, sipping on her coffee "just let me finish this one and we can go"

You nodded, collecting the plates in front of you, Natasha pursed her lips, debating on wanting to wash the dishes herself since you cooked or finishing the report fast so you can go

You smiled, kissing her cheeks before taking the dishes on the sink. You hummed softly as you finish it up, Natasha, smiling while she listens. Whenever you are around, her paperwork doesn't feel as much a burden as it usually does

Done with the dishes, you went up to your room and changed into more appropriate clothes. As you put on your shirt, Natasha entered just fast enough to see what color of bra you are wearing underneath

She grin, standing behind you as she held your waist, kissing the side of your neck softly, innocently

Yet her intentions are far from one

"Nat" you warned as she nibble on your ear, she continued, right hand going up inside your shirt, your stomach now in full view of the mirror in front of you "we have to go" you moaned as she suck on the right spot under your ear, whining that you need to leave and she's messing up your hair...

"We can go a bit later" she answered, eyes meeting yours on the mirror "we can't, we have a reservation at that restaurant you like"

She grunted in your neck "I am not liking it very much right now" she muttered and you chuckled. Stepping forward before facing her

You pressed a gentle hand on her cheek "Come on, we rarely go out"

She looked at your eyes for a bit before giving up "fine" she softly answered, taking the hand in your face with hers, just as gently

. . .

"Can you pass me one of those bell peppers" you pointed at the container with 3 pieces of what you need. You smiled when Natasha picked one with just the right mixture of red and green. Small things like this are what you love about her. She only asked once and then remember it forever

"Is there a reason why you choose a combination of both and not just the green or the red?"

You thought for a while, blinking at the question you can barely remember the answer "I've always just done it because my mom does that too but I think it's because it's the most perfect condition to either store it or use it immediately"

Her mouth made an 'o' shape, signaling her understanding of the topic

"Oh detka, strawberries" her eyes sparkled as she put at least three packs of it in your cart, you giggled "isn't that too many?"

She looked at you, disbelief in her face "Do you know how much you devour them?" She asked and you chuckled "They're like your favorite thing in the world, you even prefer them more than my lips" she pouted, your fond smile never left your lips as you pulled her in for a kiss

"Now I know you are exaggerating, there is nothing more I love than your lips" you squint "well maybe except for your eyes"

You continued pushing the cart as her cheeks gets dusted in pink, you added a few more, items from the fridge isle before going on the dry goods

You passed by a small and portable fondue fountain, you eyed it along with the chocolates on the side

"Do you want that?" She asked, looking over your shoulder

"I'm interested," you hummed, "but is it worth it?" you sighed "we won't be able to use it as much when we get back to work"

"We can bring it there then and the boys and Wanda can have their fun, Wanda likes chocolate" at the mention of your bestfriends name, your eyes lit up

Now slightly more convinced

She leaned closer, whispering things you can do with the melted chocolate on the kitchen table. Your face blushed furiously as you hit her in the arm but despite that, you took a box and a bunch of carefully picked chocolate

She chuckled, eyes hooded with the thoughts too dirty to be even thinking about in the middle of the grocery aisle

You then looked around some more. Your list has been fulfilled but you opted to roam around to get some snacks or check new things the store has. Natasha obediently followed. Checking the items too and getting some that interests her

Mostly snacks

After you are satisfied with your purchase, you go to the cashier to pay. You will opt for a self serves but they only allow 20 items below, and your cart is obviously more than 20

The cashier greeted you with a smile, you doing the same. Making small talks to try and make the day easier for the kind worker. Natasha smiled admiringly at how easy you are to have a conversation with

The cashier is all smiles even after you paid and left

"I have always admired the way you do that" she said as she help you put the bag on the trunk of your car

"Do what?" You asked, tilting your head

"Talking to people, making them feel comfortable"

You nodded, humming as you continued with your task "It wasn't always as easy, but it comes with the job"

"I refuse to believe that you weren't always rainbows and sunshine" she argued and you chuckled

"Darling, I'm an introvert, the mere mention of conversation terrifies me" she looked at you dumbfounded for a second and you did the same just with an amuse smile instead

"Guess you learn something new everyday even when you are technically, already married" she muttered, closing the trunk "what else don't I know about you?"

She opened the door for you and you got in, making sure to shake of the bottom of your shoes to remove at least a bit of dust on it, Natasha smiled at the gesture

She closed the door once you are settled and got on hers, doing the same as you did before starting the car, making sure it's heat up properly first before starting to drive

You sat in silence for a few second as you think of things she doesn't know yet "well, I used to date guys" her eyes widen, looking back at you then back on the road

"Really?" She asked "what changed?"

"Nothing" you shrug "I just didn't realize I was into girls, the norm is being straight after all, but the first kiss I had with a guy was nothing compared to my first kiss with a girl"

She hummed, "and when was your first kiss with one?"

The conversation flowed seamlessly in your head, every smile and chuckles and groans she responded you with was embed in your memory

. . .

As per your usual arrangement, you and Natasha arrived at the restaurant at different times. Wanting to keep the surprised of seeing each other dressed up beautifully, knowing full well it’s to please the person who will be sitting in front of the other

You arrived in your newly bought shiny short dress with a lot of skin showing but still very decent. You’ve done your hair perfectly that it frames your face and your make up is a bit fiercer, bolder. You wanted to surprise Natasha, show her a different side than the usual girl-next-door

Her brow lifted up, lips in a side smile of surprise. You look edgier than her tonight and it’s making her feel all kind of things in her stomach

“Of course, I can’t go losing you to competition now” you smirk jokingly

She pulled your chair for you and you sat down, she leaned down and gave you one more kiss, not being able to resist the temptation of your red and plump lips

“Competition?” she chuckled, sitting down “We are married, detka, you already trampled all over them”

“Well, you never know”

The dinner continued with all playful banters, giggles and Natasha’s flirting techniques that you admit, did something to you. Not because of the lines, but because of who and how she’s saying it

 Along the lines, someone approached your table and that stopped you from talking to each other. You looked at the person and was surprised to see Wanda

“Wanda?” You called, standing up slowly as you take in her appearance

She looks tired, defeated, broken

“Y/n” she muttered, looking at you with sad eyes “Where have you been?”

“What do you mean?” You asked, lips into a gentle yet confuse smile as you held her arms “I’m on a break, but you know where we live”

“We?” She asked and you nodded “Yeah, with Natasha…are you okay?” you tilt your head to get a closer look on her face “Y/n…” she said, biting her lips “Natasha’s gone”

Your hand gripped the woman tightly as your mind reeled “Wanda…what are you saying?”

“She..” Wanda’s lower lip trembled, her eyes tight shut before she sighed, meeting you with her tired green eyes “She’s gone…she sacrificed herself for the world…don’t you remember?”

A chuckle left your lips, devoid of any humor. You stepped back, hands crossing on your chest “That’s a cruel joke, Wanda” you took a deep shaky breathe “I was just with her the whole time, she is literally right there” You pointed at Natasha who smiled at you like nothing is happening

Your brows furrowed and you were so focus on Natasha that you didn’t notice Wanda’s hand raised to your temple, eyes red and red wisp of energy flowing at the tip of your fingers

Your eyes widened in horror as the Natasha in front of you, smiling as lovely as you remember, slowly turned to ash, pieces of her flowing in the air. Your shaking hand covered your mouth to stop a scream that will never come, stuck in your chest like a painful rock that wedged itself in your lungs

Wanda moved further in your brain

You were back with Natasha in your dining room, eating breakfast and before she could kiss you, she disappeared again into ashes. The same thing happened to when you are on the grocery, before she can put the strawberries in your cart, her body flew away in the air, and the contents of the package spilling on the floor, strawberries roll on your foot as the scene changes again

This time, it’s Natasha and you sleeping on the bed, her arm and leg draped on your body. She tucked her head closer to your neck, this scene that you’ve been watching for the past year that brings you love and warmth and comfort now gives you dread

And pain

Your breathing has become shaky and erratic as you tried to forget the scenes before this one where she all but disappeared into thin air. As if noticing your discomfort, Natasha opened her eyes and called your name

“Nat” you managed to croaked despite the lump in your throat as tears well in your eyes

 Instead of asking the usual ‘are you okay?’ though, she smiled sadly, her face change to that time that happened a year ago

 Her hair in a braid, face white with worry and fear but she remained brave, determined “You’ll be okay” she whispered, hand caressing your face “You will be okay, my love”

 And then, as if the gods have cursed you to a life of loss and pain and suffering, you again, had to watch her disappear. Ashes taken by the wind, her smile never faded, not then, not now…and the three words you never thought would be the last, echoed in your memory

 You stood in front of Wanda, shoulders shaking from crying. Wanda pulled you close to her as she let you cry, whispering reassurances that she will always be by your side and yet, you can’t say the same

 “Wanda, you need to move on as well” Wanda’s tears started the moment yours stopped, you pulled away from her, but keeping her at an arm’s length “You deserve to be happy”

 Your face looked so peaceful despite what you just did, the scars from the battle scattered across your face and yet, to her, you were beautiful still. She pulled you closer to her, her body trembled before you and she watched, and felt, and embraced the feeling

 She whispered in your ears before your body truly disappears, just like Natasha’s “I thought I’m ready to let you go” she sniffed “But I was wrong”. Red magic surrounded the whole area once again, just like from when she arrived in the house you bought for Natasha and you

 "Even if you didn't choose me in this world too, I would just gladly be beside you. As long as you are here, I wouldn't care."

 And once again, you open your eyes. Natasha comfortably cuddled next to you as your lips turned into a satisfied smile…

 . . .

 A/N: "Even if you didn't choose me (don't love me) in this world too, I would just gladly be beside you. As long as you are here, I wouldn't care." (Credit to my wonderful angsty friend @my-wandering-rabbit for crushing my heart with this wonderful line and the title of this story)

[heartcal]

“who do you believe?”; l.h. (pt. ii)

oh my GOD it’s here, it took longer than expected but she’s finally here! after the eye strain i got a sty so that threw me in for a loop, but the good news is my eyes are better! and i’m fully vaccinated too! please get the vaccine if you are able to :^) enjoy!

a/n: (formatting again lol) there’s a part where there’s supposed to be texts (in italics) so it may be a bit weird to read (hopefully not) (sorry for these parantheses) please let me know if there’s anything off!

pairing: luke hemmings x reader

summary: having known luke for years, it was bound to happen eventually. the crush you developed happened before you could stop it, and you did your best to keep it a secret. you told no one, did your best not to show it, so what do you do when his girlfriend finds out?

warnings: swearing (as usual), 

genre: angst, fluff, basically friends (to brief enemies but not really) to lovers?

wc: 5,201 (they’re getting longer, huh)

taglist: @1sosrvd1267 + @wowitsel (side note: i don’t have a current taglist, this is just for this fic!)

part one | my masterlist!

You skipped the after-party that night. You couldn’t bear standing in the same room as Luke and Rachel, so you booked a ride and left as soon as the car pulled up.

Had you stayed for the party, you would have crumbled under the looks of pity thrown at you by those who would have heard about what happened. The knowing looks that something bad had happened between two people everyone on the crew knew were best friends would have been uncomfortable.

The ride home is uncomfortably silent, but you were thankful the driver wasn’t the talkative type. The soft jazz playing on the radio wasn’t calming but it did distract you from the pain and embarrassment you felt from the argument.

Once the car had pulled up to your place, you bid a silent farewell to the driver and slid out.

You just wanted to get inside, take a shower, shut your phone for the night, and sleep until you physically can’t get any more sleep.

You’re not too surprised Luke stood up for his girlfriend. He does love her—he’s shown that with friends and with fans. But the way he glared at you, defended her without trying to find out what exactly went down…he had never looked at you like that.

You’ve seen that look before; it wasn’t something you were used to but it was the look he would give paparazzi when they would harass you, the guys, and his friends. The glare carried such strength that it would make people back off. And so when it was directed towards you, it struck you hard.

Having done what you wanted to do once you entered the house, you lay in bed with wet eyes staring at the ceiling. Your phone was face down on your nightstand, completely out of reach to the point one slight touch could knock it off.

Maybe you were the one at fault. Maybe you should’ve told the truth about your feelings to Rachel or Luke before this all happened. It could have prevented the fallout and you would be with the guys and the crew celebrating a successful show.

But what good would that have done? Had you told someone, anyone, that you liked Luke more than a best friend should, would that have caused the same problem but presented differently? Or would something come from it? Maybe nothing would have happened.

A sigh escapes your lips as you turn your back away from the nightstand, facing the empty half of the bed and before your mind drifts to more pitiful thoughts, you close your eyes.

You didn’t dream that night. It’s as if you blinked, with the night flying by faster than you had wanted and anticipated.

The sunlight beamed down on you from above your headboard. It was late morning and it was time to face the harsh reality of the day.

There is no doubt you have lost Luke as your best friend.

Wiping the sleep and crust from your eyes, you sit up and vacantly glance around the room. The box where you keep gifts from Luke is illuminated by the sunlight, and with the vacant stare you stand to walk towards it.

You hesitate to open it; it’ll bring back memories of good times and with the events of the previous night, you do not think you can handle the rush of emotions.

It’s then when you realize your phone was off, and though you don’t want to do anything social today and would rather stay home with your favorite snacks and shows, you know you have to let your friends know how you’re doing.

You stall by washing your face and brushing your teeth, albeit slower than usual. You know that once you turn your phone on, the onslaught of questions and missed calls are going to take possibly an hour to clear up.

Sure enough, as you turn your phone on, the missed messages come in, barely giving your notification tone a break and the missed calls and voicemails were coming in fast. You can feel the heat from the battery on your palm, and for the sake of the phone you switch the sound off and turn on Do Not Disturb to prevent any new calls from coming through.

The messages you saw were from the crew, asking where you went and if you were okay. Others were from the boys minus Luke, and looking through the missed calls, there was nothing from Luke.

You’re not surprised, but the pain was still simmering within and seeing no messages or missed calls from him was adding to it.

You responded to the crew’s messages first, since many of them sent one or two messages asking simple questions: “Are you okay,” “Where did you go,” and “Did you get home safe?”

Then you responded to the boys’, Michael’s first since he had the least amount of messages.

hey, you didn’t have to leave. we could’ve talked some sense into him when he calmed down (11:37pm)

did u get home okay? we know you didn’t drive here yourself. (11:58pm)

please let us know you made it home. let us know you’re okay (12:10am)

hope you made it home and that you’re safe and okay. thank u for ur work today. please text me when you see these. goodnight (12:49am)

You typed your reply to him, letting him know that you were okay and got home safe.

Calum’s messages were similar, asking the same questions but some were repeated to emphasize his worry. In response, you answered his questions like Michael’s.

But even before you can open Ashton’s messages, seeing double digits next to your conversation with him, rapid knocks on your front door grab your attention.

With a groan you stand and grab your robe from the hook on the door, wrapping it tightly around your body as you open the door and groggily walk to the front door.

It was a stupid idea, as you weren’t ready to face anyone yet Ashton stands in front of you. He’s well-rested, a stark contrast to you as you were sure your eyes were still puffy and bloodshot, along with an occasional sniffle from your nose.

His eyes travel from your face, down to your feet, and back up to your eyes. He can immediately tell you had a terrible night.

“You weren’t answering anyone last night,” he begins, tilting his head as he narrows his eyes, “we were worried about you after you left.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, “I just—I didn’t feel like talking to anyone.”

“You could’ve let one of us know that you were shutting off.”

You nodded with a frown, “I could have, yeah,” your eyes dart around behind him to avoid his worrisome eyes before asking him if he wanted to come in.

He doesn’t hesitate and steps in once you move aside, opening the door wider to give him enough room. He notes your bag in a heap on the floor a few inches away from the couch, and how your shoes were far apart, with one upside down, as if you flung them off.

“How are you holding up now?”

You shrug, still avoiding his eyes because you know if you make eye contact, you’ll break down and you won’t have control over the onslaught of emotions.

“Be honest,” his voice is soft, wanting to make you feel comfortable enough to open up.

You stare at the ground, biting the skin of your lower lip nervously. This is why you did not want to talk to anyone face-to-face. Talking to them over the phone, preferably through text, allowed you to lie to the other person (and if applicable, to yourself). But talking to someone in person, and to someone who can see through your lies, you were bound to break down and become vulnerable.

You inhale, taking careful steps to the couch and gently sitting down with a sigh. Ashton follows you, sitting next to you but giving you space to not overwhelm you.

“What happened last night—,” you lean back with your arms folded over your chest, “—was something that I feared. When I realized I liked Luke, I was so worried about him finding out and what the outcome would be. I knew from the beginning that things would never be the same if he found out, and I was afraid of the change that would come from it.”

Ashton listens intently, his eyes displaying sincerity as he listens to you list off your worries. What he saw last night bothered him to no end, and had he not exerted most of his energy during the show, he would not have slept at all and would have stayed up all night in a constant state of worry.

“So, now that Rachel knows, and no doubt Luke has caught on, I don’t know what to do. I responded to everyone’s texts before you arrived, and Luke sent nothing—not even a phone call.”

Ashton nods, swallowing before speaking, “Well, after you left, things went down that may be the reason why he hasn’t tried contacting you.”

Your head turns to face him, eyebrows furrowed as confusion embeds itself across the rest of your features.

Ashton readjusts himself, getting comfortable in his seat as he gathers the right words.

“Something happened after I left?” You ask as you shift in your seat to face him.

“Michael wanted to go after you, to at least offer you a ride back, but Calum went back to tell Luke that it was bullshit what happened. So, Michael went back to make sure they wouldn’t fight or anything. I also pointed out that he was a dick; choosing you over her when he’s known you the longest didn’t sit right with us. But he got defensive and kept wanting to leave but Rachel convinced him it was alright, so they stayed for the party. But the party was bad—the crew felt the tension and the vibes were down—,” he chuckles at the word choice, getting a small laugh out of you as well, “—it brought everyone out of the energetic and ecstatic mood we were in before the confrontation. We all kinda did our own thing during the party but we noticed things were tense between Luke and Rachel. And when the party ended, shit hit the fan.”

“What happened?”

Ashton sighs, “To make the long story short, they got into an argument when we were leaving the venue after Michael brought up your name. He said something like, ‘I hope they got home safe,’ and that you weren’t answering your phone at all. Calum and I pointed out, again, how rude Luke was to you and Luke kept defending himself. Rachel dropped an insult and something shifted. Basically, they’re done and the guys and I can finally fucking breathe.”

“Wait—,” you stand with bulging eyes, “—wait, are you saying they broke up?”

Ashton hums as he watches you mindlessly walk around your living room.

The guys have been waiting for their break-up. It’s not something they were open about, as to avoid any conflict with their best friend, but it was almost an unspoken agreement: Rachel was not liked.

As for you, it’s not like you were wishing for their break-up. You wanted Luke to be happy, and if he was happy in that relationship, then so be it. But you were not a fan of it. Yeah, you liked her in the beginning but when she started disregarding you as if you did something to offend her, you lost most of your respect for her. Now, with this news of their break-up, you don’t know what to do.

Are you happy? You don’t exactly feel happy about it, but there is some relief.

“So,” you sit back down on the couch slowly, “what am I supposed to do with this information?”

“Not sure,” Ashton shrugs, “but I recommend talking to Luke.”

You shake your head fervently, “No. I don’t feel like talking to anyone.”

“But you’re talking to me,” Ashton has a smirk, but you know there’s no malice behind his joke.

“You showed up unannounced, Ash,” you smile, “I was responding to everyone who sent messages and voicemails. I don’t feel like talking to anyone else in person.”

He holds his hands up in defense, “Fair enough, but don’t be a stranger.”

He gives you a quick hug, whispering something similar to ‘don’t shut Luke out’ before he pulls away and walks out.

Ashton’s words stuck with you for the next week. You felt comfortable enough a few days after the fact to contact the boys, eventually meeting up with Ashton and Calum for lunch and third-wheeling Michael and his fiancée. The only person out of your friend group and co-workers you have not contacted was Luke. He hasn’t contacted you either, but you do not think much about it as you’re still trying to figure things out. If he were to contact you, how do you talk about what happened?

You want to know why he was able to choose his then-girlfriend over you, but at the same time you don’t want to know the answer. You know that one day, and though it hurts, you will not be his number one. With the way he behaved that night, it felt like that dreadful moment came to earlier than expected, that he found his number one and you immediately became his second go-to person.

So it did surprise you when you were out with an old friend to receive a text from Luke.

Can we talk about what happened? (2:23pm)

You only stare blankly at the text, not even moving to type a response. You were in such a good mood, and not even this text would change it. Instead, you lock your phone and place it back in your pocket, noting to leave it alone until your day out comes to an end.

And when it does, you see that more texts from Luke had arrived, the final being sent an hour before the outing ended.

I know you’re mad, I understand that and I don’t blame you but please talk to me (2:31pm)

You’re reading these, please say something (2:33pm)

There are some things that I need to clear up with you, I want to apologize for what happened that night but I want to do it face to face. Please respond. (3:57pm)

Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be waiting. Sorry if I’m bombarding you with these texts, I just don’t want to lose you over something that I realize now should not have happened. Respond when you want to, I’ll be here. (5:49pm)

You could only let out a small chuckle at the persistent requests to talk, and you don’t deny the small—minuscule, honestly—flutter in your stomach. You don’t waste any time responding.

Sorry, I was busy. We can meet somewhere to talk. (7:08pm)

He responds about five minutes later, agreeing to meet at a small café the two of you love tomorrow afternoon.

The rest of the night for you is spent thinking of ways to carry yourself, being completely confident, and accepting the fact that you love your best friend. Pep talks in the shower and mirror to calm any arising nerves, revising the topics you want to talk about in your head so you keep the confidence.

As for Luke, he was struggling to gather all his thoughts. In the beginning, he thoroughly enjoyed the fact that you and Rachel got along. He liked seeing his best friend and girlfriend become friends like that. He didn’t notice the shift, however, and he wishes he did before things got out of hand.

When he defended Rachel, without finding out the story from all sides, he thought he was doing what was right. To him, friendships and relationships have the same base, but romantic relationships with a partner have a different structure than friendships do, and he was starting to see cracks in his friendship before he saw it in his relationship.

When he confronted Rachel after she insulted you, he started to see someone he never saw. He remembered the times Rachel ignored you, sometimes playing it off as if she never heard you. He remembered how she would make plans with everyone and exclude you, but he always played it off as an accident (even if he knew it wasn’t). He remembered all these times he noticed a change in mood when the two of you were in the same room, and he couldn’t believe he turned a blind eye to all of it.

It hurt him to break-up with Rachel—he won’t deny that because he did love her. It’s not that he saw the rest of his life with her as they weren’t at that mark in the relationship.

But, when he did picture his future, he always saw you. He always thought it was just as a friend, someone who was just joined at the hip. Yet, he was quick to throw that away for someone he rarely saw when he pictured the future.

Which is why, the next day, as he sits at a booth near the window of the café, he carefully goes over what he wants to say. He doesn’t want to ruin the chance to fix things between the two of you. If it goes awry, not only does he lose you, but his friendships with the band and the team will take a hit since they all love you.

The bell above the door rings making his head turn to watch you walk in. Your eyes danced around the café before they fell on him.

He couldn’t help the smile the formed on his lips, a small breath of relief escaping as he watches you walk towards him. The smile doesn’t stay long though, because as you sit down with a stoic expression, the reality hits him.

“I got your usual,” he’s shy and timid, pushing the mug toward you as he eyes the liquid nearly spills the edge.

You mumble a ‘thanks,’ grabbing the mug and taking a small sip. It falls silent as the two of you wonder who should start first.

Luke makes the move first. He sighs, sitting up straight and wiping his palms on his pants.

He’s nervous. When the guys started touring, visiting new cities and countries, he would always be nervous and constantly wiped his hands on his thighs, sitting up straight and even straighter if he wasn’t slouching. It’s an old habit, but something you remember fondly as he had grown out of it. Or so you thought.

“I want to start with I’m sorry,” he begins, making eye contact but fails to hold it. His eyes instead drift to his drink, “I know what I did was wrong, and I put you in a spot that hurt you and disregarded you. At the moment, I thought I was doing the right thing because she was my girlfriend, but then—” he gulps, “when she insulted you, it struck a nerve and, not to sound cliché or anything, it felt like it opened my eyes. I saw someone I didn’t see when I first met them.”

You don’t respond, just nodding your head to let him know you’re listening.

He licks his lips before continuing, “When the guys brought up how you left on your own, I was feeling nervous and they started reminding me how much of a dick I was to you. I didn’t want to admit it myself, but now, I was such an ass. I’m just—I’m so sorry for what happened.”

“Luke,” you sigh, shifting in your seat, “I’m not saying I forgive you but I accept your apology. It hurt me so much that a friend, someone I’ve known for years was just so quick to turn their back and take someone else’s side. I know she was your girlfriend, but I wish you didn’t do what you did.”

“If I could go back and fix it, I would.”

You only nod again, trying to think about other things that need to be talked about. The one topic you hope to avoid is the possibility of him knowing your feelings—something you do not want to discuss, at least not yet.

“Did she say anything to you?”

The question leaves your mouth before you register it, and the widening of your eyes catches Luke off guard.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you mutter, grabbing your mug and taking a long sip.

“She didn’t tell me what started the problems between you two, if that’s what you mean,” Luke smiles a bit, watching you nervously play with the mug’s handle after the sip. It fades when your eyes move up to meet his, “I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but it isn’t important anymore. She’s out of the picture, and I don’t want to lose you.”

The silence returns, but unlike the previous bout, it’s a calming silence. It isn’t uncomfortable, rather the air is easier to breathe and the tension isn’t unsettling.

“Where do we go from here?” Luke asks, nervously wringing his fingers.

“I don’t want to lose you as a friend, Luke,” you offer a smile, “but it’s going to take some time to ‘heal,’ if you will.”

Luke smiles again, this time a bigger grin. He nods, leaning back in his seat, “Let me know what I can do to make things better. I’ll do it if I get to keep you.”

Over the next few months, your friendship with Luke was rekindled. The guys were at ease now that Rachel was gone and you seemingly had taken her place, even though you were friends. The awkward glances they would give when Rachel was in the same room were now playful rolls of the eyes over a dumb joke or pranks. You didn’t miss out on any outings you wanted to go to, now that everyone invited would check in with each other the night before. Things went back to the way they were before Rachel.

There was a change in your friendship, however. It wasn’t something you noticed right away, but it was something you thought about at night just a few weeks ago. Luke paid more attention to you, not that he didn’t pay attention before, but this was a noticeable change where he still looks at you even after you finished talking, and would only look away from you when you caught him. He would always cover his mouth with his index and middle finger, but you saw a small smile behind them. You played it off as friendly teasing, but it tugs on your heartstrings.

Another noticeable change is the hugs. Duration-wise, they were relatively the same. However the touch lingered; if he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, an arm would stay around your shoulder, meanwhile if they were around your waist, his hand would stay on the small of your back. You played it off as a friend being protective, but yet again, it did nothing to stop your growing love.

Tonight was the first night of their tour. The boys were up to their usual pre-show antics, as well as the nervous habits; Michael fixing his hair and deciding whether to go with a beanie or a hat, or neither, Ashton was warming up with his pre-show playlist, Calum testing his bass, and Luke was relatively fine.

Sure, he was nervous because it isn’t a crowd of 500, close to 20,000, but he was calm compared to the last time he performed. He didn’t have any worries to talk about, his vocal warm-ups were smooth, and getting dressed up was a breeze. He shared chuckles with you as you both watched the others move around with tense expressions (all with no malice, of course).

“You sure you’re not on edge?” you nudge Luke with your arm as he leans forward on the couch your sitting on to fix his shoe.

“Nope,” he sits up, leaning back in his seat.

“Really?” you inquire again, doubt laced in your tone with a hint of teasing.

“Yeah,” he chuckles, “if anything I’m excited about tonight.”

You hum, crossing your arms as you watch Ashton walk over.

“Ten minutes left,” he nods at Luke before walking to Michael to tell him the same thing.

You give Luke a look, wanting to get him to admit he is nervous, but all you get is a smirk and a shrug. He stands, patting your shoulder left before walking away to put in his in-ears.

You won’t deny you still don’t have feelings for him. Throughout the past few months, you were able to pinpoint the reasons why you fell for him. The small acts, the obscure things he would remember about you—especially the ones you don’t remember yourself—with the attention he would give you. It was staring you in the face, but you chose to deny all the signals to give yourself the satisfaction of thinking it was just a phase. But now you know why you love him.

Two minutes until showtime, Ashton finishes his speech and the crew is taking their places. The band stands at the opening, waiting for their cue to head out.

As you watched them hype themselves up, you noticed Luke looking around nervously. Of course.

“Nervous?”

His head whips toward you, and you can see it in his eyes.

“A little,” he mumbles, but you don’t hear it over the crowd’s excited screams.

“You got this,” you grab his shoulders to make him look you in the eyes, “like Ash said, you guys worked your asses off for this album. The fans loved it, your shows are all sold out, and you have thousands out there waiting to see you kill it.”

He’s silent, blue eyes staring into yours as they bounce from one eye to the other.

“I love you,” he blurts, loud enough just for you to hear.

You freeze, the grip on his shoulder loosens but remain.

He notices, “She did tell me something that night, and whether or not it’s true, I-I love you.”

“Sixty seconds!” a stage recites in the earpieces.

The boys turn to look at both of you, curious eyes turn into surprise as they watch your expression.

“I don’t know how long, I don’t know when, and I don’t know what it was, but I know for sure.”

Your eyes glance at Ashton briefly, not missing the knowing smile he gives you before you look back into Luke’s eyes.

“I…love you, too,” you respond, gripping his shoulders while your eyes drop down to his shiny shoes.

He doesn’t hear you over the cheers and screams, but reading your lips he knows the answer.

Luke smiles, grabbing the back of your head and kissing your forehead.

He leans down to your ear, “I expect to hear you say it when I come back.”

With flashing lights scattering across the stage, the boys run out to the stage, big smiles gracing their faces for multiple reasons with adrenaline pumping through their veins. From backstage, you watch the show you a smile, feeling high from the brief but fulfilling confession.

It’s two hours later when the show ends. Your heart is pounding as you watch the crew celebrate the successful first show.

Luke pulls you away from the crowd, into the hallway and away from the noise.

“So it was true, what Rachel said?” Luke begins, his hand still holding yours as a shy smile forms.

“What did she say?”

He exhales air through his nose in a laugh, “She said you were in love with me, and that you were trying to break us up.”

You scoff, shaking your head as you look at your intertwined fingers. He squeezes your hand to get your attention.

“I doubt that last part, but the first part I’m hoping is true in a sense.”

Your eyes meet his, adoration swimming in them bringing a smile to your face, “There may be a strong crush I have on you,” you tease, “and it may or may not have turned into love.”

He laughs, letting go of your hand to wrap you in a hug. His head dips down, his forehead on your shoulder as he breathes in your scent. He moves slightly, whispering in your ear, “Say it.”

Your head rested against his chest, hearing his heart beat rapidly and rhythmically.

“I love you,” you whisper.

You feel him smile against your shoulder before he pulls away, his arms resting on your hips as he smiles down at you.

“If you’d like,” he begins, his tone timid now, “that place you like in Seattle has a new dish. It’s our next stop…” he drifts off, hoping you’d catch on to him asking you out.

You do, laughing at how he remembered yet another thing you seem to have forgotten. It was a themed restaurant that had some of the best food you’ve ever eaten, and for days you wouldn’t stop talking about it. But you never went back to it, even during breaks, but somehow he seemed to remember.

“Yes, Luke.”

You know the shock will hit you later that night, that finally the person you’ve fallen for, who happens to be your best friend, admitted his feelings to you. But you’re happy, Luke’s happy, and with the boys’ and crew’s reaction to the two of you walking back to the area where they’re celebrating, the happiness is infectious.

On the road in the tour bus, Ashton passes you as you respond to emails.

“Thanks for not shutting him out,” he says, drinking a small bottle of water from the fridge.

“Did you know?”

He shrugs, avoiding your eyes as he finishes the bottle and tosses it in the recycling bag. “Maybe,” he walks towards the back where the beds are, “maybe not.”

You shake your head, “You did.”

“Didn’t want to spoil it,” he gives you a quick hug before retreating to bed.

Luke walks out of the bathroom shortly after, taking his spot next to you.

“Go to bed,” you slightly shift your shoulder as he lays his head on it, “you need the rest.”

“No,” he mumbles, sleep lacing his tone, “feels like a dream. Don’t wanna wake up.”

You chuckle at his nonsense, finishing off the last email before shutting the laptop and placing it on the counter next to you. You adjust yourself on the couch to have Luke lay down with you. He readjusts himself so he doesn’t crush you, wrapping his arm around your waist and placing his head on your chest.

“I wish I had known before all the drama,” he mumbles again, eyes closed, “I want you in my life, always.”

He drifts off to sleep with that, a faint smile on his lips.

You know what made you fall in love with your best friend. You accept it now, and you’re at peace knowing the feeling is mutual.