#why is my laptop sound so loud tho | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

acsisz · 7 months ago

Text

Real DecaP DARK Fanfic.

Warning: contains quite a bit of violence, blood, some swearing.

This isn't DecaP fluff fanfic (there's a bit at the end tho), I wrote this while imagining a DARK DecaP game. Harvard is an actual merciless bastard, and his teammates don't have a good time.

Writing this caused me some emotional pain, so be prepared.

(Also I'm so tired, this is like 5,500 words long... I didn't beta read it, no energy left 😅 I'm sorry if there're any wording mistakes)

Plot: The team experiences Harvard's darkness firsthand.

*Huff puff*

Carl was running alone in an abandoned building.

'Where is everyone?' Carl thought as he went around a corner.

*BANG*

'What was that?!' Carl heard a loud sound coming not far from where he is.

'Are the others in trouble?!' He tried to once again contact his teammates through his special police assigned phone, but it still didn't work.

'Damn it... I guess there's no other choice...' Carl began to turn the other way and started running to the source of the loud sound he had heard.

'Everyone... please be okay...!'

*bang*

"Hm? That was..." Zhang muttered to himself as he checked his laptop for any contacts from his teammates.

"It was quite loud, but still far off from where we are," said his partner, Manimani.

Her tone of voice signaled worry, yet still radiates a strong calmness.

"Any news from the others?" Manimani asked her partner.

"No, not yet..." Zhang shaked his head and began typing on his laptop.

"We've been separated from them for quite some time now... Did Mikey contact you?" asked Manimani again.

"Nope... This is just speculation on my part, but I think this old building is jamming our signals," Zhang begins to explain.

"Mikey just went in to search for Carl and Harvard, so maybe he hasn't had any new info to tell us," he continued.

"...but it's weird that Carl or Harvard hasn't contacted us at all, is what you're saying right?" Manimani said.

"Exactly," said Zhang as he finally tears his sight away from his laptop screen to face Manimani.

"Especially Carl," Manimani emphasized.

"Especially Carl... he's the biggest worrywart of this team," Zhang agreed.

"So, what should we do know? Me going in after them won't solve any problem," Manimani puts her hands on her hips, slightly annoyed.

"Right..." Zhang begins to think.

"Honestly we were so lucky to be regrouped with Mikey, only for him to immediately went off in search of those two," Manimani briefly remembers when they managed to accidentally find Mikey in this labyrinth of a building.

"Mikey!" Manimani shouted a bit to get her teammate's attention.

Mikey was running, about to turn around a corner when he heard Manimani's voice calling him.

"Goodness! What a coincidence! Good to see you two!" Mikey, noticing Manimani and Zhang, began to ran over to them whilst shouting a bit.

"A coincidence of great effort, this place is like a maze!" Zhang said, "Why didn't you contact us?"

"Oh! Yes, contact! Sorry, I forgot!" Mikey admitted, an embarrassed smile began to form on his face.

Zhang and Manimani sighed at the revelation, 'Knew it,' they both thought at the same time.

"Putting that aside for a moment, did you find anything? Where are our leader and his partner?" Manimani asked.

"Very weird. I found nothing, not a single person. And no Harvard or Carl either," Mikey said, perplexed.

"Wait, not a single person? But you came from the other way. We also didn't find anyone, so thinking logically, you should've had more chance in encountering those members!" the news shook Manimani.

"Yes, very weird. This is hideout of a big crime organization, correct?"

"Right, but we also didn't find a single person..." Manimani looked to Zhang for correction, and he only nods.

"Could it be that they already fleed?" Zhang raised a possibility.

"No way, Harvard clearly told us they'd be here. He was sure of it," And Harvard was rarely wrong when he's that sure, Manimani added in her mind.

"Damn it, this is turning into a mess. I thought we'd be able to instantly raise our achievements if we're able to caught a big crime organization by ourselves," Zhang sighed.

"I told you so," Manimani said perturbed.

'What a mess... This is what happens when you don't listen to Carl and me, we're like the only functioning brains with common sense in this team...!' Manimani swallowed her words, making the situation worse is the last thing she wants to do right now. Scolding Zhang can come after they're all together and safe.

"How about we search for leader and Carl together?" Mikey asked, sensing the disturbance in the air.

"Can't do, I wanna try contacting headquarters," Zhang said, rejecting Mikey's offer.

"I see, what about you Manimani?" Mikey turns his focus to Manimani.

"I want to, but Zhang's horrible at fights. Can't risk him getting jumped by the enemies while he's working on contacting headquarters," Manimani shook her head, a bit disappointed she couldn't go searching for her teammates.

"That's okay I understand, Zhang's the worse at fights in our team. I would also be worried if I were to left him alone in the middle of enemy territory," Mikey agrees.

Zhang didn't mind being spoken off like a deadweight at fights, he's good at other things after all. And he's about to demonstrate that other things right now as he opens his laptop and begins working.

"Alright, then see you guys later!" Mikey said as he began to run off to find Harvard and Carl.

"Ah, don't forget to contact us with updates!" Manimani shouted at Mikey's running figure that's getting farther and father away from them in just a few seconds.

She could see him making an 'OK' sign with his hand, and lets him leave, hoping he wouldn't forget again.

"Maybe we shouldn't have let him leave after all..." Manimani said a bit dejected.

"Don't say stupid things like that, if that happens then we three'll be sitting ducks here when there might be something happening to our two missing teammates," Zhang debated, he's already working on his laptop again.

"Right, Mikey's strong anyway, he'd be able to handle himself just fine. You say some pretty good stuff sometimes too, huh?"

"Yep, glad you understand," Zhang answer as he types on his laptop.

"How's the progress with contacting the headquarters?" asked Manimani.

"No luck, we're sitting ducks," Zhang answered, his typing stopped.

"Figures," Manimani sighed, "Still, what was that noise anyway?" she asked.

"Don't know, but it seems to be coming from the way Mikey ran off to, so he may be close to it. We're definitely far off though," Zhang said.

"Should we go there?" suggested Manimani.

Zhang closed his laptop with a clicked, "Sure, it's not like we're making progress here," and stood up.

*Huff puff*

Carl could hear himself breathing.

The building he's in is old and so very quiet.

He could only hear his footsteps and rapid breathing.

'That source of that noise should be close... Damn it!'

Carl thought about how it all came to this, and almost swore to himself to give Harvard a good beating when he sees him next.

'Harvard, you stupid...!'

He remembers when Harvard came to them with surefire proofs on a crime organization and a plan to catch them all by themselves.

He and Manimani tried to convince him otherwise and to at least tell their higher-ups, but Harvard wouldn't listen.

Not only that, he managed to gain Zhang's support by luring him in with talks of achievements and promotions or whatnot.

With Mikey not really supporting one or the other, they were at a tie.

But Harvard was reckless enough to tell them that he would even go by himself, so there's no use stopping him.

Carl has been friends with Harvard for at least 3 years and he had an ability to understand other people's hearts and, through them, their thoughts and personalities.

He understands his friend and partner's personality very well.

So he knew he couldn't stop him, but, "Okay, we'll come with," Manimani gasped, shocked at his decision.

"But, let me contact our instructors first. At the very least, they should know if we're about to attempt this. Things may go south after all, we may need their help," Manimani's relieved sigh reached his ears.

Harvard gave him a look, indicating 'not bad', then smirked and shook his head, "If they know, they would first stop us from going, then issue a formal request to their higher-ups to be allowed to catch them. It could take DAYS. There could be an information leak, and the entire organization could be gone from that building by the time that venerable permission comes out."

Carl couldn't say anything, especially when he thought about what's going on inside the force currently.

There were talks about traitors inside Broadstone Police Force.

"We're going, NOW," was what Harvard said last before he left the room.

Carl wasn't about to let that kill them all though, so he whipped up his phone and was about to call one of their instructors, Misae or Granger.

But just then, a message came in. From Harvard. Carl pales and closed his phone, he then followed the others and left the room, chasing after Harvard.

*BANG*

'It's that noise again, I'm getting close!' Carl thought as he fasten his pace.

*BANG BANG BANG*

'It's increasing?! What are they from? Gunshots? It's so loud, like metal...'

*SCREAM*

'What in the-?! I need to hurry up, someone's life could be in danger!'

Carl slowed his pace as he gets closer to the source of the loud metal noises and screams.

He very carefully peeked inside the room where the noises originated from.

'What is... ugh-!' Carl held his breath.

*BANG BANG BANG*

"Agh! Spare me!" pleaded a bloody man covered his head with his hands.

"Sure, once you tell me what I want to know!" a voice resembling his partner's, Harvard's, told him.

"I already told you, I don't know anything- UGH!" the man's words were cut short by a metal pipe hitting his side.

*BANG*

"Harvard...?" Carl stood shocked, unable to let a single word out.

"I'll give you another chance!"

"I don't know, please-"

*BANG*

Carl reflexively turned his face away and closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, he took a glance at the room they were in.

There was a lot of red splattered on the floor and the wall, and...people. Unmoving people. Dead people.

Carl felt nauseous.

"C'mon, spill it!" Harvard demanded.

No, if this goes on...!

"Harvard stop...!" Carl heard himself scream.

Harvard seemed to hear him, his hand holding the steel pipe froze and he turned around to face him.

"...Carl," was all that Harvard said in this situation. Carl could hear the annoyance in his tone of voice.

"What were you doing?!" Carl asked, terrified.

"I was just beating information out of our suspect here," answered Harvard, his hand still holding the steel pipe.

"Oh goodness..." Carl could feel himself dizzier by the second, his partner was showing absolutely no signs of guilt.

"Look at all these people Harvard! Y-you... What did you do to them?! They couldn't be...dead?" Carl asked in disbelief.

"Don't worry, I made sure they're still alive," Harvard said, his patience getting thinner.

"That's not the problem you-"

"It was self-defense. They attacked me first with steel pipes, I just returned the favor," his voice exasperated.

Carl felt that Harvard is saying, 'Are you done yet?' with his body language.

"Harvard, j-just put down that steel pipe first," Carl begged.

Harvard sneered, "Or what? You'll beat me up?"

There was no way Carl could win against Harvard, his fighting prowess is second only to Mikey in their team, while Carl is only as strong as Manimani.

Beating Harvard in a hand-to-hand combat is like asking for broken bones and pain.

Yet, he can't use any of his official police assigned weapons, like his gun, he needs permission from their higher-ups.

And he for sure didn't even tell their direct higher-ups, their instructors, that they would even be here, in this mess.

'Harvard's mess...' thought Carl.

Carl stayed quiet, unable to answer Harvard's provocation.

"Just like I thought," sighed Harvard as he went back to terrorize the bloody man that couldn't even stand up anymore.

"Now, tell me what you know, or I'll bust your head open."

"I-I don't know, I don't know...-"

*BANG*

"UGH!!" the man let out a muffled scream and coughed out some blood.

"HARVARD STOP!!" before Carl realized, he was running to stop his partner.

Carl tackled him from behind.

Harvard's footing wobbled, but he easily pushed Carl away.

Carl landed on his back, "Guh...!"

"Carl, I'm warning you, don't get in my way," Harvard's voice was serious and laced with anger.

"You can't do this! This isn't right!" said Carl as he attemped to get up.

"And who decides on that?" Harvard sneered.

"The law does!" Carl yelled.

"Well, the law is wrong."

Harvard's eyes looked down on him, and Carl trembled from the fear and pressure.

Harvard's eyes were merciless, his eyes now were like the eyes of criminals they've caught together before.

Dark, cold, merciless, cruel...

Carl couldn't bear to look at them.

Harvard turned away from Carl and looked back at the man lying down in his own blood.

"Tell me, what do you know about the Clown case from 10 years ago?"

The man didn't answer and only laid still while covering his head with his hand pitifully.

"Answer me!!" Harvard screamed as he swung the metal pipe once more.

"HARVARD NO!!"

Carl ran over and gripped his partner's hand that's holding the steel pipe tightly, trying to get him to let it go.

"Harvard, please don't do this!" Carl cried.

"Carl, LET. ME. GO!" Harvard's strength outpowered Carl and he swung down the pipe to hit Carl's upper arm.

"Aagh!!" Carl wailed as he fell down.

Harvard sighed annoyingly as he steadied himself, he lifted his hand again to hit the man.

"Harvard no...!" Carl clenched Harvard's leg, pleading for him to stop this madness.

Harvard kicked him back and swung down his metal pipe on the man again.

*BANG*

"Harvard no! This is wrong! Please stop it already!!" Carl could feel tears streaming down his face.

"Is this your justice?! Harvard!!" Carl cried at the top of his lungs.

"That's right, this IS my justice," Harvard coldly answered.

Carl's heart fell.

Why am I so weak? Carl hated himself at this moment.

If only the others were here, any one of them could do a much better job at stopping Harvard than he could...

"Harvard STOP!!!" Carl forced himself to get up, the pain in his upper arm tearing through him mercilessly, but he hold it back.

Carl tackled Harvard from behind again, and he felt a sharp pain stabbing his stomach.

Harvard had elbowed his stomach.

Carl could taste blood in his mouth, but he held his ground.

"Har..vard!!" Carl swung his fist to Harvard's face, but Harvard caught it.

"Stand. Back. Carl."

Harvard kicked his stomach and threw him back.

The impact from hitting the ground made Carl gagged on his blood.

Carl felt pitiful.

If only anyone from his team were here, they could surely stop Harvard.

Carl couldn't, Carl never could. He was too weak, too fragile, too much of a pampered crybaby to do anything.

He was scared, terrified. He couldn't even properly look at his friend without trembling so much.

He wants to go home to his family. He wants to sleep in his soft and large bed, and have his parents and elder siblings tell him that everything will be okay.

He hated this. Why did he even go to Police College for? He should've stayed and continued his family's business. What dreams? Being a hero? Laughable.

"Uhh...uwaaaa..." Carl cried.

He couldn't even lift his arms anymore, one of them hurt too badly and he just has no more energy left to lift the other anymore.

'It hurts...' Carl's whole body was screaming in pain, he was coughing up blood, but most of all, his heart hurt.

His friend and partner is doing something so horrible, yet he couldn't even stop him.

Since he's 2 years older, he always feels like should show Harvard the way, that he should guide him on the right path.

But he failed, miserably.

He is a failure.

*Sniff sniff*

Unbeknownst to Carl, Harvard was silently watching him, his expression contorting slightly.

Harvard suppressed the feelings in his heart, and began to interrogate the man again.

"I'll ask again, what do you know about the Clown case from 10 years ago?"

The man curled up and stayed silent.

"I know you know something. I've obtained information that before you founded this criminal organization 8 years ago, you were in contact with Clown. My source even told me that you were sending hit list to them."

The man kept silent.

"Tell me, 10 years ago, were you the one that gave the instruction to kill a woman surnamed Marks?" his voice intensified.

"..." silence.

"Hahaha... is that how you wanna play? Fine."

*BANG BANG BANG*

"You know, maybe you'd be interested to know who's the source of all my information on you," Harvard gave a forced smile.

"Do you have any idea of an old woman and her daughter who's surnamed 'Hart'?"

"...!" the man responded slightly.

Harvard smirked, "The old lady has trouble with her left leg and walks with a cane, while the daughter has burn marks on her right hand. Do you suppose know who they are?"

'...You-" the man's teeth clenched.

"Willing to talk now?"

"What did you do to them?" the man face Harvard with a new fiery determination.

Harvard let out a geniune laugh, "Ahaha, nothing. Yet."

The man lunged at Harvard as if his wounds aren't bothering him.

"Heh!" Harvard easily evaded him, "If you tell me everything you know and did with Clown, nothing would happen to them."

"You...monster!" the man screamed as he lunged forward to attack Harvard.

Harvard just clicked his tongue and kicked him back, "Monster? If I'm a monster, then what the fuck are you huh?"

"You killed people, you terrorized them, you were so evil that you wife and kid left you AND told all of your wrongdoings to the police to get you in jail. You're a fucking PIG in a human society."

"SHUT UP!!" the man yelled and got up again.

"You're the shit of society, the least you could do is own up for being a shit and tell me everything I want to know from you."

The man attempted to tackle Harvard, but Harvard dodged and hit him hard with his metal pipe.

*BANG*

"Feel like talking now?"

*Cough cough* the man coughs up a lot of blood.

"Harvard...stop...he's gonna die...sniff," Carl tried to force himself to stand up again.

He's a failure, sure, but if he and the man were gonna die in his partner's hands, the least he could do is to reduce that kill count from 2 to 1.

He's used to cleaning up after Harvard anyway, one more time wouldn't hurt.

"Stand down Carl. What am I gonna tell your prestigious family if you get hurt any more than this?" Harvard sighed.

Carl clenched his teeth and forced himself to get up again, and, oddly enough, he couldn't quite feel the pain anymore. Is that good or bad? He was supposed to be knowledgeable about this, but he couldn't quite remember. He feels dizzy.

"ZHANG, MANIMANI, MIKEY, HELP!!!" Carl screamed loudly.

Carl couldn't do it alone, so he called for help. After all, that's what teammates are for.

*Huff puff*

"This place is a labyrinth!" Manimani said between breaths.

"Tell me about it," Zhang unenthusiastically replied.

"At least we are together!" Mikey added.

"I'm glad we found you! But why were you still so close to our location?" Manimani asked.

"I got lost! This place is a labyrinth!" Mikey said a bit too enthusiastically.

"Wow," Zhang replied.

*BANG BANG BANG*

"We're already so much closer to the source of those loud noises, just a bit more!" Manimani said.

"I hope Harvard and Carl are already there, I don't think I could manage to run around again to search for them," Zhang said, out of breath.

"Don't worry, I could still go for another run!" Mikey said with a reassuring smile.

"Gee, good for you," said Zhang.

*BANG*

"Another loud noise! It's so close now!" said Manimani.

"C-Can we take a short break?" Zhang pleaded.

"Not now! We're so close..." rejected Manimani.

"B-But I'm so tired...can't go on running...!"

"That's why we always told you to train with us! But you always refused!"

Manimani and Zhang were about to start a scuffle.

"ZHANG, MANIMANI, MIKEY, HELP!!!"

"Huh, that was...!" Manimani was suprised for a second, but immediately began to search for the source of the voice.

"Carl...?" Zhang added, surprised and out of breath.

"Here! Let's go!" Mikey acted first, the two then followed behind him.

"Carl!!" Mikey called back.

Carl could feel his heart literally jumped with joy and relieve hearing that voice.

Mikey was the strongest in their team, if anyone could stop Harvard, it's him!

Carl sniffled for one last time before steadying himself, 'That's right, this isn't time for crying. We need to stop Harvard. We need to help him!'

"Mikey! We're here!" Carl called out to Mikey again.

Harvard's expression showed his displease, 'More annoyances...'

"CARL!" Mikey's loud voice was even louder as he got closer.

And he finally managed to find them.

Carl almost cried again out of joy when he saw that Zhang and Manimani were also with him.

"Carl- What in the?!" Manimani spoke first, she scanned the room and immediately formed a hypothesis.

"What the..." Zhang was second, he turned paler as his gaze traced the people lying on the ground in blood.

"Oh goodness..." Mikey was the last as he looked between Harvard and Carl in confusion and horror.

"Carl, what is happening?!" Manimani asked agitated.

"Speak later! Mikey, you need to restrain Harvard!" Carl's orders were straight and sure without a hint of doubt.

That, coupled with Harvard's annoyed expression and his steel pipe, were enough to mobilize the three people who just arrived.

"I don't really get what's happening, but I need you to drop that steel pipe leader!" Manimani demanded.

Harvard sighed, and finally dropped the steel pipe.

"Mikey, go get that man lying beside Harvard!" Carl instructed.

Mikey carefully went over to Harvard's side.

As he bended over to grab the man, Harvard's kick swerved upward aiming right on Mikey's stomach.

Fortunately, Mikey managed to dodge at the last second due to his natural fast reaction and body control.

"Harvard...?" Mikey got into his fighting pose as Harvard picks his steel pipe up again.

"Manimani, Zhang! Help Mikey restrain Harvard. Subdue him if necessary," Carl quietly said.

Manimani and Zhang gave a short nod as they ran over to Harvard.

Harvard was now surrounded by his 3 teammates.

"I don't know what's going on, but I don't want any trouble," Zhang said to Harvard.

"Harvard, drop that steel pipe. I'm warning you," said Manimani.

"..." Mikey stayed quiet, his fighting pose maintained.

...

After some very long seconds, Harvard finally spoke up, "Try me."

Mikey went first, his fist aiming at Harvard's stomach.

Harvard dodged him as his steel pipe swerved to hit Zhang who's coming from behind him.

"Uugh!" Zhang grunted in pain as the steel pipe hit his side.

"Harvard!" Manimani yelled as she tried to kick Harvard.

Harvard dodged again and was about to hit Manimani's side with his steel pipe as Mikey suddenly came from behind Harvard and restrained him.

With his arms locking Harvard's torso, Mikey pulled him back.

Due to Mikey's height, Harvard was currently lifted a few centimeters off the ground.

Manimani rushed over and quickly tore the steel pipe from Harvard's hand.

She also put handcuffs on him to make sure he can't attack anymore.

"It's over, mister!" she said to Harvard as she turned back to check on Zhang just as quick as she came.

Mikey, relieved, let his guard down for a second.

Just then, Harvard tried to kick Mikey back.

"Mikey focus!" Carl yelled.

Mikey immediately let go of Harvard, swiftly pulled up behind him and, with one fell swoop, knocked him out.

The unconscious Harvard immediately fell, but is caught by Mikey.

Relieve washed over Carl as his legs buckled and he fell down himself.

Looks like his body finally gave up.

The last thing he could hear was Manimani screaming his name.

...

Carl woke up in a hospital room.

"You're awake?" a familiar voice called out from beside him, it was his eldest brother, Alfred.

"Elder brother...?" Carl called out sluggishly.

Alfred gave a nod, "Do you know why you're here?"

Carl tried to think back and remembered Harvard's madness.

"H-Harvard, what happened to him?" Carl asked, worried.

"Don't worry, he was just knocked out by your other teammate. No other external injuries were found, it's almost a miracle," his brother answered.

"How is he now? Will he be punished...?"

"Hm, it seems like his higher-ups will give him some sentences for going off alone and badly injuring a key person in the case," his brother calmly told him, "but, all of the other people he injured confessed that they attacked first, all of them just lost."

"So, it's really self-defense?" Carl asked.

"Yes, it seems so. The only injuries he caused because of his own agenda, were to the man who was the key suspect and leader of the crime organization that used the building as their base of operation and to his teammates, including you," explained his brother.

"But," Alfred continued, "none of the injuries he caused were life-threatening, case in point, the worst injury you got is a cracked left upper arm, and to the man, quite a bit of cracked and broken bones."

"He also caused injuries on your, the man's, and one of your teammate's stomachs, but none of it was life-threatening," Alfred concluded his explanation.

"I see..." Carl said as he quietly digest all of the information.

"Keeping a lion and disguising it as a cat is quite dangerous, sometimes it causes this sort of unexpected trouble, but the benefits it gives to the Police organization are also immense. It could even be said that this sort of trouble is just a small price to pay for all of its given benefits," Alfred continued, "The city has never been this peaceful in years."

Carl listened quietly.

"He didn't want to hurt you nor your other teammate, Carl. Trust me, I already had the chance to spoke to him for a lengthy while," Alfred puts a hand on Carl's shoulder.

"As for the man though, he was quite fortunate that your partner still wants to be on the side of the law, not against it."

"He still has use for it, you mean?" Carl asked with a painful smile.

"I don't have an answer to that, maybe you should ask your partner about it. Although, I doubt that, at this point in time, he knows the answer himself," Alfred pats Carl's head and gives him a soft smile, "Be there for him, why don't you? I know you could never leave him alone."

Carl clenched the blanket tightly.

"Harvard Marks could be the one to greatly alter Broadstone. As Oxfords, we will continue to be watching over him," Alfred said as he began to get up.

"...for the Oxford's sake?" Carl asked, almost bitterly.

His brother gave a smile and said, "A lion who obediently follows his owner, is nothing more than a cat. Harm his owner though..."

Somehow, in Carl's eyes, his brother's smile seemed terrifying.

The day is turning dark as Carl said farewell to his 3 teammates, Manimani, Zhang, and Mikey who came to visit him in his hospital room.

Zhang's injury was pretty light and had already healed fully, maybe Harvard really held back against them after all.

Carl too, aside from his cracked upper arm bones, all of his other injuries were healing rapidly.

"What did the doctor say?" Manimani asked.

"He said that I'm actually able to be discharged already, but my family wanted me to at least stay for another 3 days, jut to be on the safe side," Carl explained.

"Gee, your people sound great!" Manimani said with a smile.

"Yeah, we're a tight-knit family," Carl gave a wry laugh.

They had a pretty nice converstation.

The 3 were visiting after all of the 'Harvard caused' paperworks were done, and stayed for about an hour.

It seemed like Harvard just acted like his usual self back in their office, much to their chagrin.

Harvard didn't tell them anything, or even if he was sorry.

He did, however, bought Zhang lunch today, which was a very rare occurence.

Maybe that's his way of apologizing, Mikey suggested.

Zhang, reluctant at first, soon maximized Harvard's offer and bought lunch enough for the other 2 as well, much to Harvard's chagrin.

Carl laughed at their story, and briefly wondered when he'll be able to talk to Harvard again, and how'll their conversation flow after this incident.

After the 3 left, Harvard immediately visited him.

"I thought they'd never left," Harvard said.

"You were waiting for them to leave? Why?" Carl asked.

Harvard awkwardly scratched his hair and said, "Explanation, I thought I owe YOU at least that much."

Harvard seated himself on the chair beside Carl's bed.

"So yeah, about your injuries..." Harvard started.

"My bad."

Carl waited to hear Harvard's continuation, but it seemed that there was no continuaton.

"Wait, that's it?" Carl asked baffled, "Where's the explanation?"

"Yeah, maybe I changed my mind," Harvard gave a joking smile.

"Don't joke around!" admonished Carl, still he's kind of happy to see Harvard back to his usual self.

"...10 years ago, my mom was killed by Clown," Harvard began.

Yes, Carl knew about that.

"The man I was trying to get info out of? 10 years ago, he was the one giving out hit lists to Clown."

"Huh? But, Clown was a serial murderer, not a hitman," Carl said confused.

"On the cover that is, I have information that suggested Clown actually took requests from big corporations," Harvard said serious.

"W-wait, are we alright with talking about this stuff here?" Carl looked to the surveillance camera on the corner of the room.

"Don't worry, I talked with your brother. This hospital belongs to the Oxford right? He'll be able to do something about it, besides, it's not really super-secret anymore. I heard the higher-ups plan to release this info to the masses soon, since Clown's long dead," Harvard calmly explained.

"A-alright, then please, continue."

"During the course of my investigation into Clown, I met the 'Hart' mother and daughter. The mother told me about her divorced husband being a possible carrier linking Clown to the bigshots."

"Though she said 'possible', her demeanor showed that she was sure of it," Harvard said while thinking back on the mother-daughter duo.

"Next, I researched into her husband's past and current whereabouts, and, lo and behold, turns out now he's the leader of a crime organization right here in Broadstone," Harvard eyed Carl meaningfully.

Carl doesn't need further explanation, he know that the divorced husband was the man from the building.

"So, it was all connected to your mother?" Carl asked after some time thinking.

"Everything, is connected to my mom. Everything I do is for her," Harvard answered, his eyes directly locking into Carl's.

"I admit, I lost control," Harvard remembered the state Carl was in, coughing up blood and crying on the ground. Something inside him hurted, "So, my bad."

Carl's right hand slowly reached up to the top of Harvard's hair, and he gently pat him.

"Next time, Harvard, we'll handle it together," Carl spoke gently.

Harvard made an expression like a sad and guilty kitty, making Carl smile a bit, "There, there."

As the youngest of the Oxford siblings, Carl only had older siblings, so he had always wanted to have a younger sibling.

When he met Harvard and, subsequently, as they got closer, Harvard's existence felt like the younger brother he had never had but always wanted to have.

Sometimes Harvard made him angry, other times he made him happy.

Sometimes Carl couldn't take his eyes from Harvard lest he'll make trouble, and sometimes Carl couldn't help but to depend on Harvard.

Being with Harvard was as frustrating as it was fun.

Carl both adore and admire Harvard, but deep in his heart, there was a sense of uncertainty and fear as well.

Carl knew Harvard so well, he fears himself getting too close to the darkness inside Harvard.

A deep, black, unending darkness.

It could consume Carl whole if it so wishes to.

He briefly wondered, what he means to Harvard.

And, if the time comes when the darkness inside Harvard is unleashed, would their bond endure?

------

Author's note: if you read this far, thank you!!

Also, before you ask, "Clown's dead?"

Yes, I headcanon (for this fic) that they're already dead, since at the end of the 'Concept Image Trailer', Harvard said that he wants to meet Clown in DecaSim.

That raises the question: "Why not just meet him in real life?" Unless he CAN'T.

#decapolice #harvard marks #carl oxford #zhang tsinghua #manimani manoa #mikey princeton #fanfic #pretty dark decapolice fanfic #careful harvard is pretty brutal #poor carl #i feel bad for him did i go overboard 😅

15 notes · View notes

mushibashiraas · 2 years ago

Text

🛒 I JUSR REALIZED HOW AWFUL AND ROBOTIC I SOUNDFJDJDJ LIKE. i come back after posting the ruggie fic and redoing my theme only to drop a to do list and dip againdjsjdjs ah. uh.

so life update ig? eh. i can talk more about my chronic migraines too since the life update is mainly about themfjdjdj oops. BUCKLE TF UP BC THIS'LL BE LONG (still dont know how to add the "more under the cut" thing on mobile tumblr. too lazy to get out my laptop)

this whole week has been insane! context: my migraines are triggered by bright light, loud sounds, motion-sickness-games (i.e. genshin, Identity V, etc.), weather pressure changes, rainy days/nights, storms, and dramatic temperature fluctuations..... but mainly the last four.

anyway. this week had the first and the second triggers. (and towards the end of this week is supposed to have the last trigger. yay!) one of the things that happens (IF i push myself to power through and "stay conscious" — more on that in a bit) is that i faint. like. not "faint for a couple minutes." nahhhh! i go out for like 10-40 minutes; normally the max is 20. but occasionally, a 40 minute episode'll occur and those are the scary ones.

on tuesday, i had a doctor appointment with my cardiologist pertaining to said migraines and fainting. while waiting to check in, i passed out and fell (i was standing at the time). and the staff and nurses were worried i hit my head so they called for an ambulance to drive me across the street to the hospital ER. i was there all afternoon and almost all night. i finally went home at 11pm. i'll spare yall of the more personal details (what tests were done, the overall experience, etc). all i'll say is that there's a reason why i hate hospitals and needles.

but the visit was long and tedious and terrifying and painful. i cried several times, as well as fainted a few more times between when i came to just as the paramedics arrived and a little after the technicians performed EKGs, etc. [like they usually do whenever someone is first admitted to the ER]. those fainting episodes were only a few minutes tho. not long at all. don't worry!

*sighs* anyway. that visit defined my entire week tho bc i ended up missing a day of work on thursday and a korean language class on wednesday. still felt the usual symptoms (most likely the aftermath) like dizziness, nausea, a heavy, sluggish feeling, soreness/headaches, loss of eyesight, etc.

hope this explanation helps??? i'll get back to writing and gaming soon. aaaaa i have a guaranteed yelan to get ready for anyway. heehee

EDIT: i forgot to add that yall shouldnt worry too much! sorry if i scared yall! these migraines and fainting episodes aren't manageable yet. even tho i can go to work sometimes, i cant drive, take horseback riding lessons (i used to take them), and go to/continue college,,,, i've had them since 2013?? 2014?? and am on medication for them as well as going to a neurologist and cardiologist who are both monitoring my condition and trying to help me and get them manageable so i can do all the aforementioned things i said i can't do.

also, it's not as uncommon as i seem to make it to be. several celebrities (look up Ben Affleck migraines) have chronic migraines, as well as several families/people/co-workers also have or have dealt with chronic migraines and passing out due to them. my own mom and older brother — altho they aren't biologically related to me — also have bad/chronic migraines. my family actually make jokes about my migraines and say i'm a walking barometer lol if anyone lives in the northeastern U.S. text me and check if a storm is coming. lol i can most likely tell you; if i migraine than yes. if i don't than no. lol /j but all jokes aside,,, again. don't worry too much for me. ok? i'm still functioning even if it's at low-HP/hu tao levels (a little genshin/gamer joke/comparison for yall). i'm still shino/em, someone who is so in love with jamil and xiao and rindou that they'll devote all their time and resources to taking care of them. heehee! ❤️❤️

#shino & 🚑.#REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES PLS!#🥺

2 notes · View notes

sad-boy-mono · 1 year ago

Text

Ima be whiny and rant about my morning getting ready for a roadtrip. Idc if I sound like a whiny bitch IM FEELING LIKE A WHINY BITCH SO

My mom said we'd start packing up the car around 10 (to quote her directly, she wanted to "haul ass at 10") but she didn't even get home from a doctor's appointment until 10:30.

I woke up at 9 anticipating we'd be hauling ass at 10 (I've been waking up at 1pm everyday for the past 2 weeks) and went to bed at 4 (not by choice) so I could've gotten at least a bit more sleep.

I'm already overstimulated cuz I'm tired and now more so cuz we're off the given schedule.

So much time just getting shit into the car.

A CD I got in May is stuck in my dad's car. My dad's car recently was taken into the shop for some repairs. My mom said she brought up my stuck CD. Is my CD unstuck? Nope!

(Also secondary rant but this CD being stuck has caused me so much more stress than it should. It was $12 so not a huge financial loss but it's also my favorite album and the CD is sold out. My family doesn't have a good way to listen to music from phones in our car cuz we don't have Bluetooth and auxcords always end up hella staticy so we use CDs and I was so excited to finally have some new music in the car but I got to listen to it once before it got stuck and won't even play music because my mom messed with it trying to get it out. And then there's the added feeling of when you're upset about something that isn't a big deal and you KNOW it isn't a big deal so you feel dumb about getting so worked up about it because it's just a fucking CD and you could probably figure out a way to download the album and burn a new one but you bought this one from an artist you love and want to support so now you just feel dumb and stupid and wanna cry everytime you think about it and WHY DIDNT THE REPAIR PEOPLE GET IT OUT DID MY MOM LIE ABOUT TELLING THEM? IM SO PISSED. SECONDARY RANT OVER)

I have much less space then I thought I would in the car.

I remembered I'd have to spend a lot of time around my cousins (not necessarily a bad thing. But my social battery is a constant 0%. Also I came out to my uncle as trans a while back and he reacted badly and I really don't wanna be around him :/)

We're on the road and I forgot how loud and bumpy highways are in this shit stain of a country (#americacore)

Also my mom smokes. The smell + open window being loud is not helping.

Did I mention the roads suck? Because the roads suck.

I'm crammed in the back and everytime we make a turn I'm crushed by my aunt's wheelchair.

I love my family so much like genuinely, but being around them is hard cuz they're always up here 📈 all the time and I'm always down here 📉 all the time so being around them is hard due to how our energies don't align for lack of a better term.

Did I mention the roads suck? Cause the roads really fucking suck-

I didn't eat this morning and am hunger. I cannot reach any of the food/snacks we packed

I spent like 30 minutes fighting back a meltdown low-key.

Having boobs is actually such an icky feeling? Like not binding was a good choice but when roads are as bumpy as there are here maybe I should've just worn a binder?

HAVE I MENTIONED THESE FUCKING ROADS-

I don't have the money for Spotify premium (#brokecore)

Also I packed my laptop and every moment it isn't in my sight I fear it is being destroyed viciously (it is literally at the top of the bag pile and surrounded by clothing)

Did my hair this morning and it just like. Wasnt working with me :/

HOW DO ROADS MANAGE TO BE SO FUCKING LOUD WHAT THE FUCK-

Anyways I'm excited for this weekend :]. I'm going to a powwow in my extended family's town and supposedly it's gonna be hella big. We're staying in an AirBnB and it has a lake n shit so we can go swimming n shit. I might have my own room? Idk tho if not I'll live. I got my headphones.

#mono stop talking #mono stop venting #vent #long post

0 notes

frogserotonin · 3 years ago

Text

akai ito - five hargreeves

---

five hargreeves x fem!reader(sorry i’ll make a gn fic later, this one is old tho & i’m too lazy to edit it)

---

a/n: so, here we are...i wrote this for my friend a bit ago and i found it while searching through my laptop for my old assessment task so i could steal my notes 😩

(fun fact, I was vibing to ricky montgomery and ycgma while writing this)

tw: cursing bc i do...a lot, shitty writing(woo!!!)

---

my heart is so stupid, to still fall, even knowing it falls alone.

---

(Y/n) wasn’t sure why she’d liked Five. He had rarely spoken to her and when he did, he was bossy and rude and acted as if he were above her. But still, she had been drawn to him. She had been drawn to the way he handled every situation he ended up in, so calm and calculated. She admired the ease in which he used his power and the confidence he casually carried on his shoulders.

(Y/n) couldn’t remember when she’d started liking Five. The moment she had fallen in love with him, however, was tattooed into her brain, bits and pieces and flashes of it popping up when she was at her very worst. She hated it almost as much as she was sure she still didn’t hate him.

“What are you reading?” from his tone, it was obvious that the boy seemed appalled that Number Eight, (Y/n), the girl who was more often than not seen dancing around the house to a tune only she could hear and frequently to strike up conversation with anyone who wasn’t occupied by something or other, was actually reading. He’d seen her reading for studies with their father and Grace, but he’d never thought her the type to want to read simply for leisure.

(Y/n)’s head swung up so fast she was surprised she didn’t get any whiplash. she awkwardly peered at the boy standing above her. how long had he been there, she wondered, watching her curled up in a chair in the library?

“Much Ado About Nothing.” she replied quietly, before repeating it again in case he hadn’t heard her. (Y/n) tried her hardest not to make any sort of eye contact with the boy she’d found herself infatuated by and found herself studying his hairline. It was a very nice hairline, she admitted to herself inwardly. Then she inwardly cringed. Oftentimes she questioned the inner workings of her brain. She was incredibly thankful that none of the Umbrella Academy children had telepathy.

“You enjoy Shakespeare?” His eyebrow raised a fraction of an inch with the question, his expression still unreadable, as per usual. Butterflies erupted in the girls’ stomach, and she felt her cheeks warm with embarrassment. She opened her mouth to defend herself but five spoke again. “Any particular works you’d recommend? I haven’t read an awful lot of his work.” The girl could feel her palms start to sweat and her heart beat loudly in her chest. (Y/n) prayed he couldn’t hear it’s uneven rhythm. They hadn’t talked much outside of the usual small talk that she tried to have with all her siblings.

So, him, talking to her-and willingly, at that- was new. and exciting.

Very exciting in fact.

“While I quite like this one, I think you’d enjoy something less romantic. perhaps ‘King Lear’?” the last words were more of a question than a suggestion. She wasn’t entirely sure if Five would like any of the works she suggested considering that the only piece of Shakespeare’s she’d seen him read was Romeo and Juliet. She very vividly recalled the boys scoff as he shut the book and slammed it down forcefully. She and Ben had jumped at the sudden sound, loud noises foreign to them when they were in the library.

“I’ll be sure to-” the boy started.

“Do you even like Shakespeare?” she spoke at the same time he did. Her eyes widened in realisation “I’m so very sorry, that was incredibly rude. I apologise. It’s just that I saw your reaction to Romeo and Juliet and it wasn’t…the most positive…” Eight trailed of when she realised that Five hadn’t gone to speak.“Oh gosh, I’m sorry-”

Five’s sudden chuckle made her breath hitch. When he threw his head back and started laughing, a full, proper, joyous laugh she felt as if her heart was stuck in her throat. The butterflies flapped faster, and she swore that they were laughing at her and her very clear surprise.

“I wasn’t laughing at you by the way.” He gathered himself and pulled at the hem of his uniform jacket, brushing off some invisible dust. “I was just very disappointed in their behaviour. They were both incredibly naïve and it irked me a small amount.”

The boy was uncharacteristically beaming.

“But I’m sure you wouldn’t mislead me into reading yet another frustratingly painful romance.” He was teasing now.

“I-I would never.”

“Of course. Now, this book?”

“Oh yes, let me just...” She went to grab the book mark she’d set down on the table beside her and found it no where in sight. “Huh?” (Y/n) winced at the thought of having to doggy ear the book or set it down without anything to mark her page. Five grabbed the book from her hands and closed it. A noise of outrage made its way out of her mouth before she could fully comprehend what happened. She met his eyes-his beautiful eyes-with her own(frickin finally bish) and gave him the most disgusted look she could. Humour danced in his oRbS(I’m sorry, but not actually) and he let another chuckle escape.

“Page 164.” He held her book out to her.

“Thank…” her voice died in her throat when she noticed the red string that was threaded around his pinkie finger. “Can you see it too?” she asked suddenly. All traces of humour immediately left the boys eyes as they filled with concern and confusion. He opened his mouth but she cut him off with a mumbled “Never mind.” before sighing and dragging herself out of the seat she had been sat in.

“Now, to King Lear.”

It had been years and years since he’d left and yet she still missed him. Still missed his presence.

She missed him more than the other siblings had.

She missed him so much it was one of the many factors that pushed her to leave the manor as soon as possible.

Too many memories had been made and kept there. Both good and bad. She found the good memories just as suffocating, if not more so than the bad ones.

(Y/n) stared at her bare pinkie finger. She remembered the sickening feeling that settled in her stomach when he left. When the thread disappeared.

“Five! Five! Where are you going?” she’d chased after the boy.

“Away!” he’d shouted back, still running. “I promise I’ll be back as soon as possible.” And in a flash, he was gone.

And with him, her string.

But here she was again, at the area she’d grown up in, because her ‘father’ had died.

She pushed down the memories that rose, and the slight nausea that accompanied it and held her head high.

Fuck Five. Fuck soulmates. Fuck red strings of fate.

#five hargreeves #five hargreeves x reader #umbrella academy #milena's shitty fanfic #tua #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves x fem!reader

186 notes · View notes

harknspet · 2 years ago

Text

Burn My Skin - Part II

Pairing : Cordelia Goode x Fem!Reader

Words count : 3966

A/n : The title was based on my favorite song ever which it’s called “ Queima Minha Pele - Baco Exu do Blues “… I hope you’ll enjoy the chapter :)

Part I

You and Zoe were in the living room watching an horror movie, only the two of you considering how late it already was, a pillow covering your mouth to prevent you from laughing out loud at your friend’s scare jumps. She was so easy to frighten sometimes, you secretly loved it. She had her arm around your shoulder as she would occasionally hide in your neck when the movie got too spooky, a soft purple blanket covering your legs from the chill air. The environment was quiet until you hear heels clicking against the wood floor and voices coming from up the stairs. Both Cordelia and Fiona were coming down, all dressed up in fancy outfits, they were probably going out, too late for your will but it was none of your concern. They stopped on their way towards the front door when seeing you girls on the couch. Delia was stunning in her suit, and once again you forgot how to breath, your chest complaining to the lack of it merely seconds later. Well, that wasn't supposed to be happening. You got over her. Her eyes curiously watching your frames, however you pretended not to notice, returning your gaze back to the TV screen. The footsteps came back and Cordelia stoped in front of you, both of her hands resting on her hips.

" What are you doing up this late? You should be in bed, just like the others! “ The thick voice of Cordelia make itself present to your ears. How ironic of her to mention the clock hm?!

" Sorry Cordelia, we were not tired yet and since my laptop’s acting up we figured we could watch something here for a bit “

"Right, but don't take long to go to bed, tomorrow morning I want you both up for your classes and don’t you dare saying you’re sleepy or I’ll punish you girls “ You internally cringed at how rude that sentence sounded, you’ve never heard those words and tone before but you figured she was just annoyed at your presence.

"We got this, boss! Hmm now, were are you guys going at such time? It's already late, you said it yourself " Cordelia frowns a bit. You didn’t know that herself didn’t want to go out but the Supreme insisted, claiming she wanted some time alone with her precious daughter, which sounded even stranger for Cordelia when coming from her mother’s mouth.

"Me and my mom have some private business to work on, we won't be taking long to return tho " She responded but before Zoe could say something, Fiona walked in, rudely interrupting the brief conversation.

" Oh, God have mercy! Stop lying to these girls, they're grown-up already. We're going out to get wasted. If you excuse us little witchy, we’re already late. Hurry up, Cordelia! " Fiona left before any other exchanges of words, walking towards the door on her way out the streets.

You didn’t know why you suddenly felt your chest getting too tight for your heart that moment, something in the back of your head whispered that their nightcap was a terrible idea but you couldn’t put your finger on that and just say out loud they should stay home, you had no choice but uncomfortably ignore it. Later that night you wished you had stopped them from leaving.

" Are you gonna stay safe here by yourself, right? Please don't wait too long to go to sleep and don’t forget to lock the doors, I'll take an extra key with me "

" We're fine, you don't have to worry! " Zoe winks at the concerned woman, whose now staring at you, internally irritated to the fact you haven’t once looked up at her yet.

" Y/n, promise me you’ll be ok? Call me if you need me? “ Her voice softened to the mention of your name, your cheeks burning a bit as you meet her eyes for the first time, your mind screaming for you to just give her a quick hug and reassure her you’re ok, nonetheless you simply shrugs.

" I'm okay, Cordelia! Like your mother said, I'm a grown up. You can go enjoy yourself." She just nodded, whispering a "good night" and stepping out of your sight.

You threw the blanket aside and got up when you were sure both women were out of the house. " Zoe, I said I wouldn't think about Cordelia anymore but when Fiona said they were going heading out I had this awful feeling in my chest. You know I’m never wrong when I sense these shit, something’s gonna happen “ You starts hyperventilating, immediately regretting not warning Delia. " What do you mean, Y/n? What exactly did you feel? "

" I-I don't know, my chest got so tight and my heart was just too fast, and I got those chills I always have when something’s about to happen. You know I never feel that stuff if something serious ain’t going on Zoey “ You nervously chew your nails and Zoe gets up towards you, holding your hands in attempt to drive your attention back to her instead.

" Jesus Christ, your hands are freezing! " She hugs you as concern takes over her, she indeed does know you wouldn’t act up like that if nothing was wrong " Look, calm down ok? We both know that Cordelia is responsible and careful, she’s all powerful and her mother’s the Supreme herself, if there’s someone who’s perfectly capable of protecting her is Fiona. I bet they’re just gonna bump into some drunk assholes, ok? It’s gonna be fine “

" Yeah, might be, but I swear if anything happens to her I won’t forgive myself "

" Nothing's gonna happen. Now why don’t we try to get back to bed hm? It's late as hell and you better get some rest, we have some boring classes tomorrow ugh “ She let go off your hands and grab the remote control to turn off the TV, you fidgets still biting your nails yet you just agrees with heading back to yours and your best friend’s shared room.

The brown haired witch didn’t want to add more fuel to the fire but she was too now highly worried about the two women out there, not even once she had seen your sensing going wrong but she just crossed her fingers this time you’d be mistaken.

xxx

Three hours more or less passed by, a calming sleep surrounding your being, until a very vivid nightmare begins its way right in front of your eyes, replacing the pitch black with images of a bar, not too crowded but not empty as well. Cordelia was there, shots after shots of tequila going down her throat as an unheard conversation was settled between herself and her mother whose was next to her, following her drinking actions.

A quick jump in the scenes and Cordelia was now washing her sweaty face in the sink, her face all disturbed looking as she squeezes her eyes shut to stop the world from spinning around her eyes. After that things are just blurry, you couldn’t see her face or barely anything anymore but you could hear desperate high pitched screams, a black shadow leaving by the door as Cordelia’s body falls on her knees to the ground, her hands agonizingly scratching her face to the dreadful pain all over it.

You wake up panting, tears run down your cheeks as sharp knives felt like stabbing your chest repeatedly, you clumsily kick the blankets out of your legs as it instantaneously feels like burning your skin. You knew it wasn’t just a nightmare, Cordelia urgently needed help but something tells you it was too late for that. Zoe was still serenely asleep in the bed next to yours, you gets up just to shake her shoulders, not worrying about either scaring her or being gentle, there was no time for such things. Before the girl could even begin to process what you were up to your door gets abruptly yanked, a breathless Queenie comes through rambling almost unrecognizable words but you didn’t need anything to understand. Running out of your room you stumbles your way downstairs, almost bumping into a few girls gathering in the middle of the living room. They were crying. " What happened? " You asked to one of them but no sound did come out, deep down you didn’t need an answer but still you prayed with everything you were still trapped in a nightmare. You went to another girl, repeating the question, and there it was, all the words you didn’t want to hear. You immediately starts sobbing again, closing your eyes as the chest stabs return in full strength. Zoe runs to your side and grabs you by the shoulders, begging you to look at her and take deep breaths.

" How the hell am I supposed to do that Zoe? I fucking could have stopped that, I knew something was up but just because of my fucking proud I didn’t protect her. FUCK! “ You yelled, harsher than you planned, you couldn’t care less that moment. Your eyes scan around the room just to find Fiona elegantly sitting down, a cigarette in between the tip of her fingers just like nothing had happened to her daughter.

" Where is she uh? Why are you so calm? I bet you did it to her! " You spit and watches the older witch smirks, blowing the smoke that was in her mouth. You notice a few tear strains down her cheeks but you would get no surprised if learning that it was all just part of her show.

" I didn't do anything, my dear. She's in the hospital, you don't have to worry “

" What the hell, Fiona? How can you be so heartless? You leave her alone out there and you dare to tell me not to worry? I'll make sure you burn in hell when all this is over, you bitch! " You threatened yet the woman only scoffed, placing the cigarette back between her lips. You’d deal with her another time. You closed your eyes and concentrated, focusing on your Delia as you struggled to locate her. Gathering enough focus you picture the hospital, teleporting there with no second thoughts.

You stood in front of the door, dark lights flicking above your head, you knew she was in there, a part of you didn’t want to see the damaged you had caused, but afterwards, it was your mess to fix up and you hoped with everything in you she’d forgive you some day. Turning the door knob and finally coming in you squeezes your eyes a bit, it was hard to see due the bad lights but in the middle of the room her limp body rests on the bed, no movements. You walk closer, fearing how bad she had been hurt. The soft pale skin of her face was now in living skin, covered in nasty burns yet to necrose, you doubt her eyes would ever be the same anymore after such attack. You carefully grab your beloved’s hand, scared you’ll disturb her somehow but too worried to step back. You needed her to feel you there, at least if only for a shorten time.

" I'm so, so sorry, my Delia. I failed you so bad this time. I hope you can forgive me one day. " You whispers, chastely kissing her head where you knew she wasn’t injured. Your body hurting in all the ways but for sure it was nothing like what she was going through that moment. You stood there all night long, watching her sleep and silently taking care of her, just like you used to when she was hurting before, you weren’t hugging her like the old times but you never let go off her hand. On your mind no matter what happens, Cordelia would always be the beautifulest woman alive.

xxx

The woman was terribly debilitated after the acid attack, thankfully many people were there to help her which soothed a little bit of your worry. After that day you drifted further away from people, it didn’t feel right just walking away but whenever you’d look someone in the eyes you’d sense their judgments towards you. You didn’t know if those times your powers were actually working or if it was just overthinking along with self-loathing taking its places on your mind but one or another it felt too much for you to be around them, which indeed may sound selfish. You would always make sure Cordelia was safe though, not directly with her as you feared her rejection but constantly keeping your eyes open, sometimes even teleporting to her room for a few seconds just to give her a quick forehead kiss when she was asleep.

Along with the new scars Delia had also gained a new gift. She was blind, that was a fact, but now she could see through other ways who wouldn’t involve using her eyes. Whenever she touched people’s skins she’d have the most vivid visions of them, including their deepest secrets, it was like she was momentarily seeing through whoever’s eyes her hands dared to touch. The newest power itself made you much more afraid to go next to her, what if she sees that you could have saved her but due pure childishness you hadn’t? In one of these visions she accidentally found out Hank was cheating on her with another witch, it broke her a little bit more but she wasn’t necessarily surprised, it was all she needed to kick him out of her life and house for once. She knew their relationship was long broken. You felt bad for her, but you couldn't say you were sad, she deserved better. You thought things were finally calming down and getting back to its orbit, a part of you getting used to the distance from her even if you were both under the same roof practically all the time.

You currently found yourself taking care of her plants in the greenhouse, one of your earbuds randomly playing your playlists when you hear the sound of a cane clicking on the floor, followed by her presence. She stops in the middle of the room as her head aimlessly moves from one side to another, hopefully giving her any signs of your location.

" I might not see you but I know you are here Y/n. I can feel you, please don't run away from me this time, I just want to talk "

Teleporting did cross your mind, but you figured it was time to stop being a coward and deal with whatever consequences your actions might had. " Hi Delia, yes, I'm here and I'm not running away. I’m sorry for the other times “ She follows your voice as her face turns right to where you stands. " I appreciate that. Just please answer me, and I don't want lies, ok? " She asked and you hums "Why did you do that? “

There it was, the question you did not want to hear. How are you to explain her you didn’t save her because you were too proud to look her in the eyes and warn her like you normally would? And that the main reason was pure jealousy and stubbornness. She’d find you so pathetic! You just decide to play innocent and see how things will go, which drives her angry " Why what, Cordelia? I’m confused “

" Don’t you fucking act like you have no clue what you’ve done. I’m tired with all this. Why did you do that? “ Her arms loosely hitting her sides as her body language shows how irritated she is, her cane hitting the floor a little too harsh, yet you were no surprised “ Why did you push me away without even letting me know what I did to infuriate you so much you’d literally run whenever I’d step into the same room as you? We were inseparable and suddenly you changed, what the hell happened? “ Your eyes widen to the sound of her voice breaking and her unexpected words, her figure irradiating frustration and confusion. You stepped closer to the woman watching her flinch a bit as she senses your presence approaching, you lift one of your hands and touches her own, feeling it shaking a bit. You’ve always loved the softness on them. Regret filling you as you realize you ended up hurting your friend even more by clouding your emotions with your platonic, childish jealousy and overthinking. Cordelia have never treated you poorly, not even once.

“ Oh Delia, I wasn’t expecting you to say that right now, you know? I thought you were mad at me and I figured I should give you some space, especially after all you’ve been through “

“ Now you’re back with ‘ Delia ‘. Jesus, Y/n why on earth would I be mad at you? And when did you think it was a good idea to leave me when all I needed was you with me? If you only knew how bad I wished you were there but now you’re a master in pretending you don’t even know me. Do you care explaining what did I do?

“ Shit, I didn’t plan this conversation coming today, I’m sorry. Hm, I know it might sound stupid from me but I just thought you were disappointed at me because I sensed something bad was gonna happen the day you were attacked and I didn’t warn you and Fiona, forgive me, I overreacted “

“ Oh bullshit, what do you even mean? I didn’t even know you had sensed such things Y/n and even if I had to, it was nobody’s fault and I doubt you’d have stopped me from going out that night if you really wanted to. Besides, I know that’s not the main reason for such behavior, you keep forgetting I know when people are not being all honest. You broke your promise about being with me at my worst and best, now I’d urge you to tell me the truth “ Cordelia’s voice was thick, ironic even, she’d never used such tone towards you before, however, could you blame her? You knew you had to act maturely now, to let her know the real motivations behind your actions, even fearing that deep down she’d get disgusted by such revelations, she wouldn’t let you fool her any second further.

“ First of all, I’m not lying “ Before you can continue Cordelia interrupts you by saying you are not being completely honest, too. You irritatedly groans, getting slightly annoyed whenever someone cuts you off “ Allow me to finish, Cordelia. As I was saying, I’m not lying. But you’re right, that’s not the whole thing “ You pauses, your defensive side unguardedly building up as you watches the blondie’s forehead frown and her breathing turning somewhat unsteady “ If what I am to tell you bothers you I beg you to just leave, you don’t have to spit any slurs or anything. I apologize for the way I reacted, I just couldn’t find any other ways to project my feelings towards you, I guess. It probably wasn’t the best choice but I was scared, I still am in fact “ You stumbles upon your own words not even making sure if what you say makes sense, you just need her to stop burning holes in your frame, yes, you knew she technically couldn’t see you but Cordelia’s ways of staring at someone’s soul was beyond the ordinary, common way. She was, in fact, staring at you.

“ Y/n, what do you mean by that? I’m afraid I don’t get what you’re trying to tell me here, honey “ You knew she wasn’t being all sincere, Cordelia Goode was no fool and with the mere stimulation of her own beautiful, intelligent brain she’d catch the minimum details, gathering everything up and reading anybody’s emotions like no one ever did.

“ I-I meant exactly what you’re thinking, Delia. Shit, I’m sorry, that wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m sorry if you think that somehow I took advantage of the trust you gave me, I didn’t even realize I was falling for you that way but once I heard you and Hank once things just got so, so overwhelming, I knew it wasn’t correct, I couldn’t keep on feeling such nasty things for you so I just figured I should step back, and now you probably think that was indeed the best opti- “ Once again your rambling was interrupted but this time by a pair of mushy lips on your left cheek followed by two hands clumsily stroking the sides of your face, you froze as you realize how close Cordelia was, confusion taking over your mind as you momentarily panic with the sudden, unexpected reaction.

“ Did you know you talk impossibly much when you’re nervous, sweetheart? “ Cordelia’s delicate tone invades your ears, stopping you from wondering much longer what was going on. A part of her face covered by a pair of sunglasses, preventing you from directly visualizing the faded dark pink skin around her once brown eyes but yet, not failing in making a warm blush spread all over your cheeks. She was, in fact, staring at you.

She was impossibly close to you at this point, her lips perfectly aligned with yours, only not completely glued for a matter of millimeters, you couldn’t breathe, her floral scent numbing each part of your brain, were you in one of your impossible sapphic dreams or…? “ My sweet “ Cordelia whispers right before her lips fully meet yours, your eyes closing without further ado as you delights yourself in her mouth, one of her hands rising up as she gently scraps the tip of her fingers on your scalp, adding some pressure to the spot, which you undoubtedly allows as you unconsciously moans against herself. You firmly wraps your arms around her slim waist, feeling the cotton on her long sleeved blouse. You never thought you’d say this but just like in one of those clichés, you had found the perfect spot to spend the rest of your days at, you didn't want to get out of the coziness on her touch as you found yourself expeditiously getting addicted to one of the most intimate sides of Cordelia Goode. She breaks contact, leading you to annoyingly whine at her, wishing nothing more than to live against her lips. She never stepped back, however.

“ Hm, does that mean you don’t hate me right now?“ Your voice comes out hoarsely, more than you intended to, well that was just her effect on your afterwards “ You seriously need to stop listening to your thoughts, Y/n. You’d have realized how fond of you I grew if you weren’t so lost on your own mind, my beautiful girl “ One of her hands caressing your neck as a graceful smile paints her lips while she talks, her cheeks slightly reddened, a little bit like yours, and she bites her lips which you can’t help but stare. God, how on heavens can someone look that ravishing? It’s your turn to boldly pull her face back to yours by the back of her neck, you honestly don’t think you can spend another second away from her, not again. You switch positions with Cordelia, placing one of your hands behind her on the table, pinning her bottom against the wooden as your front collides to hers, both of your chests rubbing against one another as your tongue savors her plump, soon to be swollen lips and your hands bluntly caress every inch of what you can reach on her skin. You feel the other woman’s smile against your mouth as your tongue shyly begs for access to her own. Cordelia was indeed just like the sun, lightening up your day as she burns your skin in the most addicting ways.

#sarah paulson #cordelia goode #cordelia foxx #ahs cordelia #cordelia goode x reader #cordelia foxx x reader #american horror story #lgbtqia #sarah paulson x reader

111 notes · View notes

hausofmamadas · 2 years ago

Text

WOOF, again another super overdue reblog but well worth the wait bc this shit is actually golden/magic/fire in a way I totally didn’t expect from this pair specifically??? So, fucj it, let’s get into it:

═

✷ A certain someone had given him enough experiences to develop a quite accurate instinct for this sort of thing.

SKSKSKS already dying at the way that Pacho just haunts Amado’s entire psyche

✷ Their bodies intertwined in complete darkness, surprisingly easy, both knowing exactly what to do, and Amado couldn’t help but wonder where Mayo got his experiences from.

I love love love this so much bc idk what it is about Mayo, possibly just the fact that he literally gives not a single fuck, but I don’t have to suspend a n y disbelief at the prospect that he’s touched tips with a gentleman, in his day, a time or two mayhaps this is why Benjamin was making eyes at him all flirty at Dina’s wedding hmmm??? Someday I will write that fic.... but I digress

✷ “How did you sleep?” That could mean two very different things, but either way his answer was the same. “Pretty good.”

NOSKSK I SLAPPED MY KEYBOARD SO HARD JUST NOW, i knocked my laptop off my lap bc Amado’s literally like, “sorry, did you mean, how did I 😴😴sleep? Or how did I 🥴🥴 sleeeeep?”

✷ But then Mayo just shrugged. “Gracias compa! If you ever need a favor, or a friend…you know where to find me.” He heard the meticulous way “friend” was pronounced, and he didn’t miss the suggestive gaze, right on the fine line between being flirtatious and blunt.

Idk why but something about Mayo being like calculated but flirty, is like a) such a hot flex and I can’t even articulate why, and b) such a mirror for Pacho bc I feel like even though they’re VERY different people, that meticulousness is something Mayo would share with Pacho y’know, like they’re both crafty mfs in business and love

✷ Those times gave him a brief illusion that the Colombian was his.

UGH OKYASISJSKSKSJSJJSSN ALREAYD KNOW IM GONNA BE SCREAMING THIS FOR THE REST OF THIS REBLOG BUT THE LONGING AND THE LOSS HERE, ALL THE ALLUSIONS TO PACHO ARE REALLY JUST— LIKE HE CANT ESCAPE IT, HE CANT HELP MAKING COMPARISONS I TRULY JUST AKSOSIW/&/8:2!

✷ In a way, that was the worst part, because he couldn’t even find a reason to be mad. How could he be mad at Pacho for not staying for a drink, when Pacho helped him to get half of the US market?

NO FORREAAAALLL THO I remmeber feeling the exact same way watching S3 and being so bummed for Amado at Pacho not wanting to go out and celebrate the big win and being so disappointed that like his homie was kinda checked out of the business by that point. It was such a bummer to watch and I’m not even in love with the man sksks maybe that’s why Amado latched onto May— er uhhhh, I mean Marta. Sorry getting my fic and my canon mixed up, which is like pretty par for the course with your writing

✷ This dark, enclosed space is perfect for sex, but terrible for smoking.

When I tell you I snorted so loud at this, like so loud my neighbors probably heard it bc how many times have we talked in the Discord about the glossy on-screen vs smelly reality of how much everyone fucking chain-smokes on this show sksk

✷ That makes perfect sense, but almost too much sense for people like them. It feels too effortless, too authentic. “Also, what other options do I have? El Señor de Los Cielos sounds cool, but lord of the sea just sounds like some dirty pirate with golden teeth.”

PFFFFFFFFTTTTJDJDJDJD NO BC IM NOW JUST PICTURING ALBERTO GUERRA AS A REGULAR FUCKIN JACK SPARROW and like I gotta be honest, the picture I have in my head is .... like I really don’t hate it? Like I weirdly feel like he could rock it being a sexy asf pirate?

✷ Mayo apparently doesn’t mind as he lights one for himself, the little spark shines on his face...

WOOOOOF god, I love this detail so much, SO gotdamn cinematic. I can see it as though I filmed it myself. Just *muah* fucking excellent prose

✷ Amado bursts out laughing at that ridiculous mental image, and the best part is that it doesn’t even look bad. Mayo as a dirty pirate? Hilarious, but not bad.

SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSK NO BUT I SWEAR I DIDNT READ THIS AHEAD OF TIME, I almost always comment as I read, so the fact that literallyskkdkdkdkee Amado and I had the same exact thought of like “wow, Mayo as a pirate, what a hilarious thou— well..... y’know actually.... the more I think about it, like oh actually I’d still totally hop on that dick this is kind of working for me”

✷ But this is different; it’s lighthearted and simple, even contagious, like smiling doesn’t need a reason. It makes him want to smile too.

*bangs gavel repeatedly despite the fact that the courtroom is empty except for 2 sleeping cats* OH SURE???????? LIKE SMILING DOESNT NEED A REASON ???????? SSKOSSKWJWHAODOFJWBWOQOWJQJWJ GOTDAMN imjustsofuckingsorry but i am— that is such a fucking BANGER of a line. And here, yes. You guessed it folks, we come to a scrrrrreeeeeeeching halt at our first stop, one I like to call, “So Fucking Good, I’m Mad I Didn’t Write It/My Friends Are All So Talented”

✷ There isn’t a fixed schedule, of course, that would be fucking weird, but they can always find out when is a good time for the other person, meaning business is going smoothly and no one’s trying to kill them at the moment.

I love how pencilling in a date? fuck sesh? is contingent on like whether or not other cartels are actively trying to blow them to pieces or burn their boats down, or turn them into swish cheese with a machine gun as they’re trying to make their escape boarding a plane on a private runway. And like I can tooooootally relate me, who can’t be bothered to get together with a friend for coffee if I didn’t get enough sleep the night before so yeah, pretty much exactly the same Fuckships? Relationships really are hard work.

✷ One, they literally have never fucked on dry land. Two, he’s always the one running around. Mayo has never been to Juárez, at least not for this matter.

PFFFFFFTTTTTTJDJDJD not me talking about relationships being hard work and Amado seconds later just, “y’know Mayo, why am I always the one who comes to you. Like are you even committed to this fuckship relationship? Bc I really don’t see you putting in the work.”

✷ Mayo snorts, “on these boats?! What made you think that?”

“I don’t know, man. You’re here every time.”

NOOOOO I AMSKSKSKS S DYING bc ngl, I have never given a single fucking thought to where Mayo might actually live bc I think I also thought he lowkey just lived in a houseboat or something djdjdjdje

✷ ... because boats are the perfect place to do what they do. They can just sail out, park anywhere and all of a sudden, it’s like the whole world disappears. Whatever they do stays in the middle of nowhere ...

OH WHY IS THIS SO UNEXPECTEDLY ROMANTIC THO???????

✷ A strong sense of deja vu suddenly hits him. The first time Pacho came to his new house, in this exact same living room, whispering in his ear, “now pick a bedroom.”

okay, first off.... now pick a bedroom FUCKINF HOTTTTTTT And secondly, once agaaaaiiinnnn, the way you’ve woven little echoes of Pacho all throughout this as like Amado’s entire reference point for fuckships relationships with other men, bc Pacho was his first. Like it makes so much sense but also really does up the emotional anti and adds tension in way that I think is really clever, just bc Amado and Mayo are both like so terminally chill it’d be hard to manufacture otherwise? Idk if that makes any sense sksksksksks but i guess what im trying to say is just imlovingit

✷ Interestingly, he has been thinking about Pacho less frequently, at least less intensely. What just happened used to be a regular occurrence, but just now it took him by surprise.

JESUSSSS NO BC EVERYONE SJSJSJS SHUT UP THIS IS THE MOST REEAALL STATE OF MIND, POST-BREAKUP. It’s that moment where you remember you’d been feeling a lot of emotional pain, but the thing that reminds you of it is more the absence of the pain? Which is like a relief and also the fucking worst sjsjs bc it’s fully, “don’t think of the purple elephant,” except it’s like, “oh damn, I haven’t thought about So-And-So for 2 days, what progress! that’s so aweso— AW FUCKINN GREAT. I was thinking about how I haven’t been thinking about So-And-So, and now I’m just thinking about them again”

✷ Mayo is leaning sideways on the marble table, head slightly tilted to the side, patiently waiting. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by the unexpected silence. If anything, he looks curious.

Okayokayokay so I LOVE the idea that Mayo is one of those ppl that’s like so comfortable with silence, that he rarely says anything, but like it’s not awkward really unless you make it awkward? And bc i have be insufferable to draw comparisons to my blorbo and make everything about me it’s not the kind of like shy, introverted, silent-for-survival’s sake quietness of Barrón, it’s like waaywaywayyyyy more laid back which is so on brand for him

✷ He doesn’t care. If he looks up, he can see eye to eye with Jesus. For a brief moment he doesn’t care about that either. Why should he? They’re both going to hell anyway.

OH YOU BROUGHT THE CATHOLIC GUILT INTO THIS MF AND I AM ACTHALLY ???? FUCKIGNSJDJDJDJDJD HYPERVENTILATING ??? AT HOW STEAMY THIS IS????? AND THEN YOU OPTED FOR THE KILLSHOT RIGHT BTWN MY EYES WITH “Why should he? They’re both going to hell anyway” ???? I MEAN— HOW VERY DARE YOU???

✷ For some reason Mayo always woke up before him in their previous encounters, so this is actually the first time Amado sees him asleep.

It’s really so true how different ppl look when they’re asleep I for the record look like an actual slob goblin so this doesn’t at all apply to me like more childlike and innocent than when they’re awake and seeing that facet of Mayo would be absolutely faaaaaaaascinating, like I too would be creepin, watching this mf sleep sksksks

✷ Sometimes he forgets that he doesn’t have to hide her existence anymore. No one can hurt her now.

Oh friend..... uhhhhhh WHY??? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????? HOW HAVE I WRONGED YOU??? WHY WOULD YOU DROP THIS 10 TON ANVIL ON MY HEAD AND THEN RUN AWAY LAUGHING ??? THIS IS SO ... YOUVE JUST FILLETED MY HEART WITH A GINSU KNIFE AND IM ACTUALLY TRYING TO KEEP THE SHREDDED PIECES TOGETHER WITH SCOTCH TAPE AND IM FEELING FINE ABOUT IT

✷ Amado understands that. Really, he does. But what about him? Hasn’t he always treated Pacho with utmost respect, trust and adoration? Hasn’t he been the best business partner, a good friend and more? What about them?

JYEEEEEEEZUS FUCKING CHRIST DUDE THIS IS JUST THE MOST GUTTING THING “what about them” I’m fine! It’s FINEEEEEEEEEE

✷ But respect does nothing to ease the pain, so he does the only thing he knows whenever he’s in a bad place these days. He dials the familiar number.

WOOOOF okay there’s this song called Brutal Hearts by Bedouin Soundclash, and it’s all about like two lovers who are clearly using each other but one is a little more attached than the other and it goes:

Are you the brutal heart? Are you the brutal heart that I’ve been looking for? ‘Cause if you’re looking for love, you can look for that door.

And this other part that goes:

I don’t mind at all. I don’t mind that you only call me when you want. And I’m just glad you want me at all.

And this is just!!!!! It’s giving me those viiiibes dude

✷ He just desperately needs to let out his frustration in someone, someone who doesn’t mind.

NOOOOOOSTOOOOPPTPPPPP WHY IS THIS SUCH JUST THE FUCKING HOTTTTTEEEEST THING THO

✷ Amado knows he’s not talking about the sex. That was never bad. That’s never the bad part with anyone.

Idk what it is about this particular fic, like maybe it’s the fact that you haven’t written this pairing before, but you’re really tapping into an internal monologue for Amado with these little observations, “That’s never the bad part with anyone,” that I am LIVING FOR, like that shit is my absolute kryptonite, it really puts me so in his head and in the moment

✷ But Mayo has always been on his own. Maybe he’s more of a lone wolf than any of them. Maybe that’s why Amado keeps coming back.

UGGGGHHHSJSJSJSJDJDOAKYAYYYY IM PRETTY SURE THIS JUST DETONATED A BOMB INSIDE MY HEAD bc I just realized it’s such a another subtle allusion to Pacho like it would make so much sense that Amado would find it comforting that Mayo’s such an independent spirit bc it means he can never lose him to found-family, the way he did with Pacho, but it also means he’s less likely to get as invested in Mayo bc he’ll always sort of be at arms length and GODDDDD ITSNJUST SNSODKDKSNE IM FLIPPING MY DAMN DESK OVER BC ITS SO GOOD, ITS SUCH PROSE, ITS SO SHOW-DONT-TELL

✷ … the kind of plan that only Mayo can pull off, because the asshole knows everyone and somehow always gets what he wants from these connections.

Idk why but the undertone of admiration and butthurt-ness in this is sending me skskssksks as though Amado hasn’t been super skilled at working his own connections like mans is the biggest trafficker in the world at that point, and he’s still like “ugh, that Mayo. He’s so much cooler than me. Why’s he so cool. Ugh, I hate him. But I love him but I hate him.”

✷ The nonchalance and casual cruelty send an exciting chill down his spine, rushing blood to somewhere that it absolutely shouldn’t go right now.

PFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTKDDJJDJDJDJ THIS SWITCH THO from sentimentality, lfondly remembering the good ole days when everyone used to play nicely in the sandbox, to just ferally turned on about how much Mayo doesn’t give a single fuck about anyoennaksksks I cannot, at all, in any way, relate -> this is what a pack of falsehoods looks like in case you were curious

✷ “When you…wait, they tried to burn the ship while you were on the ship?”

OKYA IM SCREAMINFKDKD bc this is always something I’d wondered on the show, liek at first I assumed bc of the way it was shot, that they just torched his favorite boat, but it makes WAAAAAYYYY more sense, given how pissed and generally savage and ruthless Dina was, that she’d actually probably try to literally roast this man alive god, what a woman on his favorite boat

✷ He’s had friends killed. He has killed friends. Mayo is right, because a burn on the arm is nothing with their standard. He shouldn’t care this much. He doesn’t know when he started to.

Sorryyyytjfjdjdjd I know casually murdering your friends for business purposes is like Not Funny but that first sentence is so like “¯\_(ツ)_/¯ you win some, you lose some!” is really making me cackle. BUT THEN ALSO THE REALIZATION THAT HE ACTUALLY CARES WHAT HAPPENS TO MAYO IS JUDT— I AM SCRWAMING, CRYING, PUNCHING WALLS

✷ “But try to do it quietly. We don’t want to end up like Benjamín.”

“Please Amado, we both know how to keep things quiet pretty well.”

SKSKSKSKSKKKSKSJSJSNSBS I HAVE NOTHING COHERENT TO SAY EXCEPT THIS IS MY FUCKINT FACE RN

✷ Turns out things can only be so quiet when you’re torturing and killing people daily. Mayo even burned a bunch of people alive. Of course he did.

THINGS CAN ONLY BE SO QUIET WHEN YOURE TORTURING AND KILLING PEOPLE DAILY. Everything about this whole ass fuckinskskskskn paragraph is straight tf up, pure, unadulterated, neon, white lightning comedic gold. I love the way it’s phrased almsot like a voiceover in a movie, like in my head, I’m seeing that scene where Mayo’s leaning back in that lawn chair, just calming sipping his beer, smoking his cigarette while he watches these men barbecue to death a few feet in front of him, and hearing Amado’s voice, narrating over it like, “Resulta que cosas solo pueden ser tan tranquilas cuando estas torturando y matando a gente a diario ...”

✷ He will miss this, he knows, every bit of it.

AGAIN, FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME, ALL OF THIS BEING IN THE SHADOW OF PACHO LEAVING THE BUSINESS AND SEEING HIM FORNTHEBLAST TOME LIKE IVE ACTUALLY FULLY MELTED INTO A PUDDLE ON THE FLOOR AND PEOPLE ARE STEPPING ON ME, LOOKING AT THEIR SHOE WITH DISGUST AND THEN SCRAPING ME OFF AS THEY WALK AWAY

✷ The old times are slipping away, faster everyday and he can’t stop it. He wants Pacho, needs Pacho to be here, to remind him that it’s possible to have something actually good come out of this business, besides money he can’t spend in ten life times ... not even Pacho can give him what he craves for … The way Pacho is willing to risk everything for his Cali family, the way Acosta was willing to die for Mimi, that is what he wants. And he hasn’t felt that since he lost his daughter.

I don’t even have anything articulate to say about this except that like fuck, Amado really does end up so alone at the end of it all. Like yes, in the show, he ends up with Marta but he’s lost so many others along the way, and you can just tell the money isn’t even worth it and has never really been the draw for him in the first place. It reminds me of that conversation he has with Acosta when he’s like “I like people more than money” and Amado agrees. Like I think that is the god’s honest truth but he forgets about it until it’s too late

✷ “You will find your way out too, and you will find someone to do it with. You know that, right?”

UGHHHSHSKSKSKEJWJWBWBWHEJN OKAY JUST TAKE A SEARING HOT KNIFE AND JAM IT STRAIGHT THROUGH MY STERNUM INTO MY HEART WHY DONT YOU, BC I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAID, “YKNOW WHAT’S MISSING FROM MY LIFE???! MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL EVISCERATION. YES THAT’S WHAT IT IS!!! ILL HAVE SOME OF THAT WITH A GLASS OF ORANGE JUICE AND A SIDE OF SCRAMBLED EGGS THANKS”

✷ He doesn’t know how Pacho read his mind, and also doesn’t know the answer to that question, but he smiles and says yes, because both of them deserve to hear it.

BECAUSE BOTH OF THEM DESERVE TO HEAR IT INCAAAAAAAAAANT EVENSODJSJD FUCKING HANDLE THESE HITS, JUST BACK TO BACK, ONE RIGHT AFTER THE OTHER, BY THE END OF THIS FIC IM GONNA BE IN A FUCKING VEGETATIVE STATE

✷ ... and just like that, the air is again filled with a relaxed atmosphere. “They’re your supply, and right now my supply is you, so I need to know if that’s true.”

I love Mayo’s cluelessness at Amado getting all butthurt about the term “relationship.” Like I feel like someone could put a gun to Mayo’s head and he would just casually smirk and sip from his beer, cool as can be

✷ Mayo silently holds his gaze, completely chill like he has nothing to hide, and if Amado knows anything about the man, is that he can maintain that pretense for as long as he wants.

Re: the above comment sksks I get the feeling that Mayo is actually the worst person to get into an argument with bc he’s so That Guy. The One that you’ll be screaming at and instead of fighting back like you want him to, he’ll just fuckin laff in your face and refuse to play ball a trait that I don’t find to be sexy, or attractive, or infuriatingly endearing at all. Nopenopenope, no siree bub

✷ “Maybe? I thought it would be fancier, you know, like your house.”

Amado snorts, “I’m sure the DEA would love that too.”

Not me and Mayo just being the same person here, like just based on Amado’s house and the way he dresses, I would also expect the planes to be a little more impressive than those piece of shit tiny Cessnas that literally look like they’re being held together by fuckinfkdk barbed wire and staples

✷ Mayo nods, not in a casual, dismissive way, but like he truly understands, and maybe he does. Maybe Mayo also bought his first boat on a payment plan, and kept it running as long as he could.

Dang, why do I get the feeling that the boat the Arellanos set on fire, was Mayo’s first boatsksksk just to add insult to injury bc Dina was going full scorched earth policy once again, what a woman

✷ Mayo climbs into the co-pilot seat, not hiding his curiosity as he observes the hundreds of buttons on the control panel, and even touches a few without asking. Amado’s pretty sure Mayo did that just to push his buttons. “Yeah, this is too fucking complicated.”

SPFFDFFFTTT NOT THIS MF JUST PURPOSELY PRESSING THE BUTTONS BC HE KNOWS ITLL BUG THE SHIT OUT OF AMADOSKSKSKS I LOVE THE WAY YOUVE WRITTEN HIM SO MUCH HERE. And then, once again, “this is too fucking complicated,” Mayo taking the words right outta my mouth although based on a number of historical documentaries I’ve seen, boats, especially sailboats can be equally confounding and hard to learn how to pilot sksks there’s just fewer buttons

✷ He sees rage, raw and uncontrolled, natural. If Amado weren’t still controlling the plane, he would definitely be punched in the face now.

Ooooooo so interesting that Amado rejects Mayo bc it’s like already too hard to let go, he’s enjoying his company too much. And it would make complete and total sense given that he’d just lost Pacho and knows that he’s about to bounce from the business for good and basically never see him again.

✷ It’s just a walk, probably a regular occurance for Mayo, walking away from someone, forgetting everything they offered and didn’t offer, and just like that, simply onto the next journey.

Always better to be my own boss.

He’s a man of his words, and Amado respects that.

Ngl, I like furiously scrolled down to see how much more of the fic there was bc even though this would’ve been a fuckint banger of an ending and super on-brand, based on your ability to shatter my heart and psyche with tragedy I was about to be in full fucking fisticuffs, just fighting strangers in the street, bc that’s how mad I would’ve been if that’s the way this ended sksksk

✷ Ironically, that reminds him of their first few encounters, always in the darkness that hides them from everyone else, as well as themselves.

Okay, once again???????? Heart wrenching???? and beautiful??! And romantic ???! and tragic bc there’s no fucking way this shit is going to end well?????

✷ But why should Mayo understand? It’s not like he knows much about Mayo either. Amado looks at the artworks and books on the shelf behind the desk. Are they just decorations or do they have more meanings? He doesn’t know, does he?

I do like this acknowledgment of the fact that even though he and Mayo clearly have a connection and in a way, they know each other, they still don’t like know know each other. Like it’s always been about business or sex, they haven’t ever had the, “so what’s your favorite color” conversations they’d normally have if they were together or even just friends. And it really emphasizes really how lonely Amado is, almost like he’s regretting keepin Mayo at arm’s length bc there’s this gulf of communication between them, but that’s sort of by design built into their whole arrangement

✷ Right below where the girl is standing, on the side of the boat, it writes Anna.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHKAAAAAAY WHAT THE ACTUAL EVER LOVING FUCKING JESUS CHRIST FUCKING FUCK OF FUCKS, IM NOT EVEN— I CANT EVEN COMPUTE??????? RIGHT NOW???? THIS IS SO THOUGHTFUL AND UNEXPECTED YET DOESNT FEEL OUT OF CHARACTER AS A THING MAYO WOULD GET FOR HIM?????!??? ITS— LIKE— LIKE IM IN A BALL, CATATONIC, DERANGED, LAUGHING LIKE THE JOKER, LYING ON MY BATHROOM FLOOR BC YOUVE FULLY UNRAVELED ME LIKE A SPOOL OF YARN

✷ “At first I wanted to make a plane that takes her to heaven, but then I figured it might be too modern for God … I mean, the ark was a boat, right?”

Ohhdaaaaaaaaamn gorrrrlllllll I see you out here with these biblical references, i see you and I salute you but for the realism, not bc I’m like esp “yay! Jesus”

✷ *You will find someone.* He already has, when he wasn’t even looking.

AND RHEN SSKSKSOWOWOZIANA THIS CALLBACK TO PACHO, IM FULLY FUCKING DERANGED RN

✷ “I’m not laying low for a while. I’m leaving, forever, in two days.”

“Oh! Ok…that’s…”

Skskskksskskkdkdksks sorry, I just spit out my chocolate milk reading this bc Mayo is never caught off guard but I can like see and hear his confusion, here, so clearly in my mind’s eye, it’s sending me

✷ “You think I don’t know that?”

“You know, but no one really wants that, not even you.” Amado leans forward and puts both of his hands on the desk. “For the longest time I also thought I was fine with it, but no one wants to be alone.”

Oh this just got me thinking like I wonder how much older Amado is. Only bc this very much sounds like something someone a few years older would say, but then again, Amado’s been in the business for longer than Mayo, at least according to the show, so it could also just be like sksksks career advice from someone who’s further along if said career is A Life Of Doing Crimes

✷ “The government was onto you, you lost your supply and your Colombian boyfriend dumped you. So you came up with an escape plan, which was a pretty good idea. But when the 48 hour count down began, you had some kind of…fucking existential crisis, so you came here to grab the first person you could think of, to bring them like a bag of cash.”

OOOOOFFFFFF okay, so I take it back when I said that Mayo’s that person who only laughs at you when you fight with him. Like 95% of the time, I think that’s the case, except for that rare 5% of the time when he’s like this ^^ just slinging hard truths at you and it hits even harder by the very fact that he refuses to sling shit most of the time

✷ “Tell me again, when are you leaving?”

“In two days?”

“How long did it take for you to prepare?”

“…Several months.”

“And how long have we known each other?”

He looks up to meet Mayo’s eyes again, and he sees it, the thick layer of pain shadowing all the anger.

Okay, I love you, Amado and I have no doubt you had the best of intentions, but our homie here is making some good pointskskskk like this isn’t the best or most well-thought-out way to finally tell someone “I’m into you for more than that disco stick”

✷ “I hope you can get away, and I’m not telling this to anyone.” Mayo takes out a cigarette and lights it, taking a long drag. “But get the fuck out of my house.”

I’m like.... gaaaaaaah l so conflicted bc I’m such a sucker for a happy ending but I’m also kind of like “fair, Mayo. Fair.”

✷ He already knows everything that needs to be done, so he just does them, but it feels more like accomplishing a preassigned task rather than going to his freedom. He doesn’t know what happens after, and he barely made sense of what happened before, so he is simply going to execute the plan. It’s his only option now.

OHHHHHHH NOOOI AMADO, TODO VA A ESTAR BIEN, POBRECITO ~~EXCEPTO QUE EN REALIDAD NO LO SÉ PORQUE NO SÉ CÓMO ESTO TERMINA PERO NECESITO QUE ESTA MIERDA ESTE BIEN

✷ “You’re not here to shoot me, right?” It’s meant to be a joke, but he can’t rule that out completely based on their last meeting.

“Honestly? I considered it.”

Skskskksksksksksjs “based on their last meeting” like, Amado, buddy. You can’t rule that out ever, just by the very nature of the fact that you’re all a bunch of duplicitous, murderous cartel bosses, but it’s fine sksksks

✷ This isn’t luck. Mayo *knows* him, more than either of them is willing to admit.

UH YEAAAAHHHH I FEEL LIKE THE MOST TOUCHING, SWEET, SENTIMENTAL, WELL THOUGHT OUT GIFT OF ALL TIME MEANS HE KNOWS YOU

✷ “I thought about what you said. Most of it was fucking bullshit, but you did have one good point.”

SORRYSJSJSJS i just snorted so fucking loud bc this is so something I’d actually say

✷ “So…you’re basically using me.” There’s a subtle sourness in his chest, but he knows he’s smiling.

“Well, you used me first for a fucking long time, so now it’s my turn.”

CUE ME FUCKING JUMPING UP AND DOWN SCREAMING LIEK IVE JUST WON THE PUBLISHER’S CLEARINGHOUSE SWEEPSTAKES AND YOUVE HANDED ME A GIANT CHECK BC I GOT MY FUCKIGN HAPPY ENDING AND I SWEAR TO GOD, I TRULY DID NOT SEE HOW IT WAS GONNA BE POSSIBLE, I DID THINK I WAS GONNA GET IT BUT YOU MADE IT HAPPEN ANYWAY

Call It Even

(My rare pair writing challenge for myself that somehow turned into a 9k words novel…)

Rating: Mature

Paring: Amado/Mayo, Amado/Pacho

Words: 9,542

The first time it happened, it was more like a stress relief than anything else. The process of restructuring the entire operation of Juárez wasn’t going as smoothly as Amado had hoped. He was living in a shitty house while his new mansion was under construction. On top of all that, he still hadn’t summoned enough courage to visit his daughter’s grave.

Mayo was asking for a favor, something about moving his boats through the port in Peñasco, which technically didn’t belong to Juárez, but he was planning to expand his operation there. He didn’t know how exactly Mayo got that information, but it didn’t matter that much. People like them always had their own ways.

They were acquaintances at best, never even met alone before, but somehow Amado just knew the other man wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of a little fun time. A certain someone had given him enough experiences to develop a quite accurate instinct for this sort of thing.

They parked the boat in the middle of open water. Below the deck, even moonlight couldn’t shine through the closed door. Their bodies intertwined in complete darkness, surprisingly easy, both knowing exactly what to do, and Amado couldn’t help but wonder where Mayo got his experiences from. But then the waves must have gotten higher, because the boat started to rock back and forth, matching their increasingly intense rhythm, and all other thoughts were pushed out of his brain.

He woke up naked the next morning, under a soft blanket that smelt like sea. The boat was already moving, so he quickly got dressed and went up the deck. Mayo waved at him behind the steering wheel, or whatever that wheel was called on boats.

“How did you sleep?”

That could mean two very different things, but either way his answer was the same. “Pretty good.”

“Good.” Mayo smiled, adjusting the wheel to a fixed position, and then loosely leaned on it. “We didn’t talk about tax yesterday. How much do you want?”

“How much are you moving?”

Mayo nodded at a container in the corner, “five times that much.”

Amado walked over and took off the lid, “every week? Month?”

“Twice per month.”

He did some quick math in his head. “That’s fine, you can just move them through the port.”

Mayo lifted his eyebrows in surprise, and he wished he could take back what he said. It sounded more like an insult than a nice gesture, in more ways than one.

But then Mayo just shrugged. “Gracias compa! If you ever need a favor, or a friend…you know where to find me.”

He heard the meticulous way “friend” was pronounced, and he didn’t miss the suggestive gaze, right on the fine line between being flirtatious and blunt.

They didn’t see each other for a long time after that. Mayo kept his promise, moving their agreed amount and nothing more, so Amado kept his word as well, never asking for a tax. Frankly, that amount of money would mean nothing to him if he could make this new deal with Cali.

Then he wouldn’t just be moving the products. He would be selling them.

It felt weird to meet with Pacho in the presence of others. He was so used to it being just them. It was easier that way, more relaxing. They always did other things besides talking business. Those times gave him a brief illusion that the Colombian was his.

The meeting went well, and he felt nothing but gratefulness towards Pacho, knowing that Cali would never share their US territory with a Mexican if Pacho didn’t vouch for him.

In a way, that was the worst part, because he couldn’t even find a reason to be mad. How could he be mad at Pacho for not staying for a drink, when Pacho helped him to get half of the US market?

He flew back to Mexico that night and had no sleep, and the next afternoon he went to Mazatlán.

That’s why he’s standing by the port again right now, looking at the same boat. Or maybe it was a different one, just similar. He couldn’t really tell, just like others couldn’t tell his planes apart too.

The sun is just beginning to set, painting the sky a shade of dark orange, tainting all reflections on the water with golden sparkles. Mayo is sitting on the deck, enjoying a bottle of beer, his baseball cap placed on a chair right next to him.

He looks at Amado, and then tells his guys to leave.

“I guess you don’t need a favor.”

Amado takes off his sunglasses. He doesn’t need them under the dim sunlight. “No.”

Mayo smiles and takes the baseball cap off the chair, casually tossing it on a pile of nets nearby. “Then come aboard.”

It’s still dark below the deck, but he has just enough light to see the person right in front of him, and everything else in the background is blurred out. Their clothes are scattered on the floor. Their lips are on each other’s body so they don’t need to talk. The blankets and sheets still smell like the sea, but it’s not a bad odor— it’s fresh and natural.

It reminds him of a nice cool breeze in the midst of summer heat.

They lay side by side catching their breath, letting their heartbeats slow down after the overwhelming raw pleasure. Then the awkwardness suddenly hits him, and he doesn’t know what to say or do. That never happened before, not with women because they always wanted to cuddle, and not with Pacho either. They were already friends before anything else.

But Mayo’s not his friend, and certainly not a woman, but that thought makes him break into a smile, and Mayo spots it immediately.

“Something funny?”

There’s no point in denying it, but he’s not going to share the details. “A little.”

Mayo reaches for his pants on the floor, and takes out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the pockets. “Good funny?”

“If you say so.” He waves it off when Mayo offers him the pack. This dark, enclosed space is perfect for sex, but terrible for smoking.

Mayo apparently doesn’t mind as he lights one for himself, the little spark shines on his face, casting a shadow of the nicely shaped nose.

“Did you come up with El Mayo yourself?” Amado doesn’t know where that question came from, probably just a random thought his brain made up on its own to alleviate the uneasiness.

“Yeah, why?”

“Just the month of May?”

“Why not?” Mayo blows out a puff of smoke. “It’s a good time of the year. Not too hot, not too rainy, great for sailing.”

That makes perfect sense, but almost too much sense for people like them. It feels too effortless, too authentic.

“Also, what other options do I have? El Señor de Los Cielos sounds cool, but lord of the sea just sounds like some dirty pirate with golden teeth.”

Amado bursts out laughing at that ridiculous mental image, and the best part is that it doesn’t even look bad. Mayo as a dirty pirate? Hilarious, but not bad.

Mayo laughs with him, and then doesn’t say more. Silence falls upon them again, but the awkwardness is miraculously gone.

Mayo finishes the cigarette and takes his watch from a tiny table next to the bed, which might or might not count as a nightstand. Amado sits up straight, taking it as his cue to leave.

“You want something to eat?” Mayo takes a look at time, and then starts putting on his pants. “There’s a pretty nice seafood place around here.”

“What?”

Mayo shrugs, buckling up the belt. “It’s dinner time, unless you want to drive straight back.”

The restaurant is small and vibrant, full of regular civilians, half look like fishermen or sailors, or maybe they’re also criminals pretending to be normal, like them.

The owner comes out to greet Mayo, not with a handshake but an earnest hug, the kind of hug that only belongs to people who have known each other for a long time.

“I give José free shrimp all the time, so he lets me eat here free for life.” Mayo suddenly says, after the owner brought them their third round of free drinks.

Amado drinks a large gulp of cold beer. “Well, does he know why you never ask to be paid?”

Mayo just looks at him and smiles. There’s something special with that smile, by now Amado has noticed. He’s no stranger to nice smiles. He’s seen it on Pacho a thousand times, seductive and irresistible. But this is different; it’s lighthearted and simple, even contagious, like smiling doesn’t need a reason.

It makes him want to smile too.

They have developed into a routine since then. There isn’t a fixed schedule, of course, that would be fucking weird, but they can always find out when is a good time for the other person, meaning business is going smoothly and no one’s trying to kill them at the moment.

Again, people like them always have their ways.

He’s been to most of Mayo’s boats, if not all. He even ranked them based on their comfort levels in his head. It’s actually how he can tell them apart to a large extent, not that he’s ever going to tell Mayo that. He has also learned what restaurants in Mazatlán have the freshest seafood, and that has completely ruined all seafood restaurants in Juárez. Now they all taste like shit, even the most expensive ones.

His favorite is still José’s place. The oysters are to die for, and the shrimp too, but that doesn’t surprise him. José never lets him pay, even when he’s not going with Mayo, but he always leaves a generous tip.

One day, when Amado arrives at the port as usual, he’s suddenly hit with two realizations. One, they literally have never fucked on dry land. Two, he’s always the one running around. Mayo has never been to Juárez, at least not for this matter.

“You don’t live on your boats, right?” He asks, just to make sure.

Mayo snorts, “on these boats?! What made you think that?”

“I don’t know, man. You’re here every time.” Amado shrugs, looking around at the now familiar surroundings. A random mechanic recognizes him and nods.

Mayo gives him a thoughtful look. “You never asked to go anywhere else.”

That’s true, because boats are the perfect place to do what they do. They can just sail out, park anywhere and all of a sudden, it’s like the whole world disappears. Whatever they do stays in the middle of nowhere, and at this point, they have done a lot.

However, if he’s being completely honest with himself, boats are not yachts, and he’s not twenty years old anymore. It doesn’t hurt to fuck on a nice soft king-sized bed once in a while.

“You know, if you want a change of scenery, you don’t have to come here.” Mayo leans forward a little, staring right into his eyes like he’s reading his mind. “I’m sure it’d be a lot more comfortable in your new house, or more exciting on a plane.”

Amado’s genuinely impressed at how Mayo effortlessly turned the table, kicking the ball right back to him, even making it sound a bit like his fault.

“You never offered to make the trip.” He responds, intentionally mimicking what the other man said earlier.

“I’m offering now.”

He swallows, not sure how he’s so aroused by that simple sentence, maybe it has something to do with that unfazed attitude. “The house or the plane?”

“Your place, your call.”

Mayo whistles when they walk into one of the large living rooms. “How long did they take to build this again?”

“Too long if you ask me.”

Outside of the floor-to-ceiling window, a few gardeners are working on the lawn. Amado walks over and closes the curtains.

Mayo runs his fingertips along the large dining table, “is this marble?”

“I think so.”

Mayo smirks, and without asking for his permission, picks up the crystal vase at the center of the table and gently sets it on the floor. “Ever tried it?”

A strong sense of deja vu suddenly hits him. The first time Pacho came to his new house, in this exact same living room, whispering in his ear, “now pick a bedroom.”

He blinks and shakes that memory out of his mind. Interestingly, he has been thinking about Pacho less frequently, at least less intensely. What just happened used to be a regular occurrence, but just now it took him by surprise.

Mayo is leaning sideways on the marble table, head slightly tilted to the side, patiently waiting. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by the unexpected silence. If anything, he looks curious.

Amado shakes his head a bit frustratedly. “You just hate regular nice beds, don’t you?”

“I like them for sleeping.”

He rolls his eyes. “This is an open area. People can walk in anytime.” Not only that, there is a big sculpture of The Last Supper on the shelf directly facing this table.

“They all work for you, just tell them to stay away. We can be quiet.” Mayo glances at the sculpture, and then gives him a smirk, outright sinful. “Come on, don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it.”

He gives in. He can never resist. Sometimes he wonders how he hasn’t developed a coke addiction with his crappy self control. Maybe sex is the only thing he’s drawn to.

Despite his vindictive efforts to make it difficult, Mayo does manage to stay quiet, but he can tell the tension and excitement from the grip on his shoulders, hard enough to leave bruises. He doesn’t care. If he looks up, he can see eye to eye with Jesus. For a brief moment he doesn’t care about that either. Why should he? They’re both going to hell anyway.

Amado wakes up in the morning next to another warm naked body. Right, they did it again last night, finally on a bed like normal people. Sunlight shines through the small slit between heavy curtains. The room looks peaceful at this time, and so does the person. For some reason Mayo always woke up before him in their previous encounters, so this is actually the first time Amado sees him asleep.

He doesn’t realize he’s leaning in until their faces are inches apart from each other. Then Mayo opens his eyes.

It could be some sixth sense that they all eventually develop in their world. The sleepiness in Mayo’s light brown eyes turns into alert immediately. Amado jumps back just in time to avoid being hit in the face.

The air is filled with awkward tension as they stare at each other from their own side of bed, both still naked under the cover.

“Shit man,” Mayo laughs and runs a hand down his face, “don’t scare me like that.”

“Sorry.” He mutters, turning away to get out of bed.

“What time is it?” Mayo asks, although there is a large clock right there on the wall.

“Around 8:40.” Amado answers as he walks to the closet, putting on a black bathrobe.

“Great, I should be back by noon.” Mayo takes the identical robe right next to it and wraps it around himself.

“Something going on?”

“There’s always something going on.” Mayo brushes off the question and walks towards the bathroom, but stops in front of the nightstand as something catches his eye.

“Huh, is this the one you flew to Mazatlán last time?” He picks it up, and Amado’s heart drops as he sees what’s in the other man’s hands.

“Put that down!”

“Sí, tranquilo!” Mayo immediately sets it back down on the nightstand, and then puts up both hands. “Sorry.”

Amado pinches the bridge of his nose. He didn’t realize how dramatic his tone was, but he’s not going to apologize. Mayo shouldn’t be touching his stuff without asking, but he also didn’t set that rule straight yesterday with the vase.

Mayo crosses his arms and fixes him with an inquisitive stare, not at all offended or demanding, just simply curious about his sudden outburst, and somehow that enrages him even more. He knows it’s not the best way to deal with the situation, but at this moment, he just wants to tell Mayo to go take a shower, get dressed and get out of his house.

“My bad, I should have known.” Mayo breaks the silence with another apology. “Of course you would have some strong attachments to planes, even if it’s a model.”

If it came from anyone else, it would sound like they were making fun of him, saying he was like a little boy holding onto his toys. But Mayo somehow always manages to make the teasing remarks sound harmless and fun, like there are no other hidden meanings.

Amado sighs, “it was my daughter’s.”

Sometimes he forgets that he doesn’t have to hide her existence anymore. No one can hurt her now.

“Oh, I didn’t know you had a daughter.” Mayo lifts his eyebrows in surprise. “How old is she?”

“Six.” He walks towards the nightstand and adjusts the toy plane to the exact same location and angle as before. “She was six.”

He knows Mayo will catch the specific choice of word, so he doesn’t bother to meet him in the eye. He remembers how Pacho looked at him after hearing the news: shock, pity, pain… As heartwarming as it was to know someone else cared, he doesn’t want to see any of that again.

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t know.”

Amado remains quiet, because he doesn’t want to say it’s ok. It’s fucking not.

“What was her name?”

“Anna.”

“Sounds very pretty.”

She is. She’s the prettiest little girl he’s ever seen.

He hears a gentle sigh, and then footsteps walking away. The bathroom door closes, and water starts running.

Nothing prepared Amado for the news Pacho brought. Cali is getting out of the business, for good. But why? How? What is he going to do? Where else can he get this amount of supply? “Gilberto and Miguel have always treated me as family. I’m going to join them.”

Amado understands that. Really, he does. But what about him? Hasn’t he always treated Pacho with utmost respect, trust and adoration? Hasn’t he been the best business partner, a good friend and more?

What about them?

Once Pacho has made up his mind, there’s no way to change it. Amado knows. That’s one of the reasons he respects him so much. But respect does nothing to ease the pain, so he does the only thing he knows whenever he’s in a bad place these days. He dials the familiar number.

Mayo opens the door when he arrives at the house in a suburban area. Amado hasn’t been here before, but it looks like a nice house, just not the house. It’s well decorated, both comfortable and aesthetic, but he just doesn’t feel like this is a place Mayo would call home. Why he feels that way, he doesn’t know, and he’s also not in the mood to think about.

They waste no time getting into bed, pieces of clothing scattered all over the expensive carpet. They’ve done it both ways, and both have been highly enjoyable, but tonight he’s not here for fun. He just desperately needs to let out his frustration in someone, someone who doesn’t mind.

When he shoves the other man into the mattress, Mayo shoots him a suspicious glance but doesn’t protest, which he really appreciates. He enters the warm body with little preparation, feeling the muscles clenching around his length. He forces himself to take a deep breath and slow down, so he doesn’t actually hurt him. Causing pain to whomever he sleeps with is never a turn-on.

Underneath him Mayo silently grabs the silky sheet, and he covers it with his own hand, intertwining their fingers tightly until their knuckles turn white.

The orgasm is satisfying and cathartic as usual, but physical pleasure can only do so much. They sit on their own sides of bed, the only thing floating in silent air is the smoke from two cigarettes.

Finally Mayo turns to him first, intentionally blowing a puff of smoke next to his face. “That bad?”

Amado knows he’s not talking about the sex. That was never bad.

That’s never the bad part with anyone.

“Have you ever had partners?” He asks, although he doesn’t even know why that question came to mind, or how that’s relevant in any way.

“Partners? No.” Mayo chuckles, “things change, people change, and once you have a disagreement…”

He pauses and turns to look Amado in the eye. It’s probably not a special or intense look to anyone else, but Amado knows all about it now: the teasing suggestiveness that’s always followed by something provocative, for better or worse.

“When things don’t work out, you will have to betray them, or kill them, right?”

Amado frowns, suddenly realizes how audacious Mayo has become with him, but what’s worse is that he doesn’t feel offended or threatened when he should.

“Hey, no judgment here. You do what you have to do. That’s the business.” Mayo pats him playfully on the naked shoulder. “I’m just saying that’s too much trouble for me. Always better to be my own boss.”

Is it? Maybe. Amado agrees, but he wouldn’t have agreed a decade ago. He thinks about Acosta, and even Miguel. He used to see them as partners. Maybe he doesn’t call them families like how Pacho calls the other Cali godfathers, but he cared about them at some point.

But Mayo has always been on his own. Maybe he’s more of a lone wolf than any of them.

Maybe that’s why Amado keeps coming back.

He thought losing his supply would be the biggest problem, but he should have known the golden rule in their business: when one thing goes to shit, everything goes to shit.

He just got off the plane an hour ago, hadn’t even had something to eat yet, and the fucking Arellanos shot up his favorite restaurant. He lost two bodyguards, but everyone else got out of there safely. He’s unscratched.

Amado rushes back home, asks his men to do a thorough security evaluation, and pours himself a generous glass of whiskey. When his phone rings, he has barely finished one third of the glass.

Mayo doesn’t bother to say hello. “Did they make a move on you too?”

It’s a vague question, doesn’t even specify who they are. Amado can play oblivious if he wants, but a shootout in a public restaurant is no secret, so there’s no point in denying.

“Why are you asking?”

He hears a sigh. “Well, they burned my ship. Just trying to figure out if I’m the only one they’re pissed at.”

Amado almost wants to tell him he got off easy. Having a ship burned sounds much better than being shot at. But this is not the time for jokes.

“You want to meet tomorrow? For business.” Now that he thinks about it, the last two words really aren’t necessary.

“Sure, Juárez or Mazatlán?”

“I’ll fly there first thing in the morning. Meet by the port?”

“Sounds good. I’ll show you the wreckage.”

Mayo makes it sound like something good, which he doesn’t understand, but now he’s curious. Which ship was burned? The biggest one? How many times have they done it in that one?

“So…see you tomorrow?” Mayo asks tentatively, snapping him out of his roaming thoughts. He must have been quiet for a while.

He quickly confirms and hangs up the phone. It’s been a long day, and he needs to get up early tomorrow. Time for some sleep.

Amado has never been to this port in the morning, and the beautiful scene makes him wonder why he hasn’t. Morning sunlight is bright but gentle, without the burning afternoon heat, just a hopeful glow on the tranquil water. It contrasts the ship wreckage perfectly, almost in an artistic way.

“Shit, the biggest one?” Amado shakes his head looking at the ruins. “Always come for what we love, right?”

“It’s a shame. She was my favorite one. Still had a few good years to go.” Mayo touches the burned metal frame. “But it’s fine. We managed to put it out before it could spread to other boats.”

“I assume you’re here to talk about a plan.” Mayo leads him to another boat, takes out two bottles of beers from a freezer and throws him one.

He catches it. “And I assume you already have one.”

Mayo smirks behind the beer bottle, and then goes on to explain how he plans to use Sinaloan’s manpower to move products through Tijuana. It’s a unique plan, the kind of plan that only Mayo can pull off, because the asshole knows everyone and somehow always gets what he wants from these connections.

That means Mayo wants something from him too.

“What do you need from me?”

“Chapo already has men, so we just need products to get going. The numbers you’re doing? I’m sure you don’t mind sparing a little.” Mayo raises the half empty bottle to him, “and I’ll take care of the rest.”

“What rest?”

“What else?” Mayo shrugs, “the Arellanos tried to kill you. Surely the Lord of the Skies won’t let that slide.”

The sun is rising higher, and he puts on his sunglasses. “I don’t know. The Arellanos helped me to take down Félix.”

Mayo simply takes another sip of beer. “So?”

The nonchalance and casual cruelty send an exciting chill down his spine, rushing blood to somewhere that it absolutely shouldn’t go right now.

“I’ll advance your products.” He says, a bit hurriedly. It’s a good thing that he has his sunglasses on.

“Great. Then it’s a deal.”

Usually this is when they shake hands, but at this point, they both know they’re closer than that.

“It’s a deal.” Amado nods, and claps Mayo’s shoulder, giving it a firm shake.

The other man immediately tenses up under his touch, almost like a held-back flinch. The beer bottle drops on the deck and shatters.

“What…” Startled, Amado removes his hand. “What the hell was that?”

“Nothing. The bottle just got slippery.”

“No, what happened to your left arm?”

Mayo waves it off with the other arm. “It’s fine, man. Not a big deal.”

“Don’t give me that shit.” He meant to use a stern tone, but it comes out more annoyed than anything. “What the fuck’s going on?”

Mayo lets out a frustrated sigh, acting like Amado is the unreasonable one here. “Just a burn I got last night, when I got off the ship.”

“When you…wait, they tried to burn the ship while you were on the ship?”

“You know how it is. We’ve all done it.” Mayo says that casually, and Amado truly doesn’t understand how he’s so calm about it. People fuck over and kill each other in this business. That’s no news. But almost being burned alive?!

“They fucked up their chance, and now it’s our turn. It’s that simple.” Mayo explains, like he’s the one trying to calm Amado down, which is quite funny since Amado is usually the calm one.

Then it hits him. He is usually calmer than this. He’s had friends killed. He has killed friends. Mayo is right, because a burn on the arm is nothing with their standard. He shouldn’t care this much.

He doesn’t know when he started to.

“We’ll get back at them, right?” Mayo pulls him out of his thoughts again. “That’s what we’re talking about here.”

“Yeah.” Amado adjusts his sunglasses, trying to get his brain back to business mode, and when he speaks, the viciousness in his voice matches perfectly with the rage inside. “They need to die.”

“I’ll make sure of that.”

“But try to do it quietly. We don’t want to end up like Benjamín.”

Mayo gives him a smile, the kind of smile that’s only reserved for when they’re alone, often naked. “Please Amado, we both know how to keep things quiet pretty well.”

Turns out things can only be so quiet when you’re torturing and killing people daily. Mayo even burned a bunch of people alive. Of course he did.

The violence doesn’t surprise him, but Hank’s reaction does. It starts to make more sense when he puts more thoughts into the situation. Hank is a politician, and with politicians, it’s all about appearances, about what everything looks like on the outside. At the end of the day, they don’t care how many people in the drug business die, as long as it doesn’t get traced back to them. That’s why Hank is threatening to cut all ties.

Again, when one thing goes to shit, everything goes to shit.

Pacho visits him again to talk about a final deal with Cali, but they both know that’s just an excuse for them to see each other one last time.

They drink, they talk, they laugh at each other’s jokes. Everything feels natural and relaxing, because by one in a million chance, they actually enjoy each other’s company. They like each other, a lot, and that fucking destroys him.

When they finally move to the bedroom, Amado wishes time would pause so he can imprint every detail of this experience in his brain, remember every little sound Pacho makes when he’s touched, the way each muscle tenses with arousal, and how those beautiful brown eyes stare right into his when pleasure takes them both over the edge.

He will miss this, he knows, every bit of it.

“Stay.” He says hopefully, desperately. “We can start something on our own. It’ll be good, just like the old times.”

The old times are slipping away, faster everyday and he can’t stop it. He wants Pacho, needs Pacho to be here, to remind him that it’s possible to have something actually good come out of this business, besides money he can’t spend in ten life times.

“I can’t. You know I would if I could.” Pacho’s smooth voice sounds even deeper, almost like a sigh, and there’s nothing other than honesty and sorrow in his words. “Gilberto, Miguel and Chepe are my family. I love them. I can’t leave them when they need me the most.”

Amado feels a lump in his throat, and he has to blink away the burning sensation behind his eyes. He will miss Pacho, but that’s not even the worst part.

The worst part is he sees it now: not even Pacho can give him what he craves for.

It’s not sex, and even a good friendship isn’t enough. The way Pacho is willing to risk everything for his Cali family, the way Acosta was willing to die for Mimi, that is what he wants. And he hasn’t felt that since he lost his daughter.

He wants someone. What’s the fucking point to get on top of the world only to end up dying alone in a ditch or a small cell?

“Hey, Amado…” Pacho touches his cheek, uncharacteristically gentle, eyes filled with genuine care and empathy. “You will find your way out too, and you will find someone to do it with. You know that, right?”

He doesn’t know how Pacho read his mind, and also doesn’t know the answer to that question, but he smiles and says yes, because both of them deserve to hear it. They should end on a hopeful note, just like how they started, believing they were building the biggest collaborative empire in narcos history. Now, they need to believe they will get out of it.

Preparing for a grand escape plan is not easy, especially for someone like him: the number one target on everyone’s list, since he’s doing the biggest numbers.

There are several times when Amado’s having too much stress and not enough sleep, he has an almost unstoppable desire to call Mayo. It’s like a habit now, the perfect person to have an hour of good time with just to chase some temporary release before he has to get back to reality. At least that’s what he’s telling himself. It’s just the sex, and the good food, and the occasional entertaining conversations, and… He shakes himself out of it. This is not a good time for that. There won’t ever be a good time again.

Surprisingly, Mayo ends up contacting him first, saying they have business to discuss. Honestly, they do. Things in Tijuana are getting too loud, which can’t be good for his already challenging escape plan. And speaking of that, he should at least have the decency to let Mayo know, not about his plan of course, but just the fact that their deal, cooperation and whatever else is over.

Amado should have reached out first, but he has been delaying it because he’s been busy, because there are a hundred more important things to take care of, because Mayo probably doesn’t even need it — such a gesture is never expected from people like them.

All these are true, but none of them is the most crucial reason.

He doesn’t want to.

This is the most silent conversation they’ve had, even tenser than the first time they met, or the first time they fucked. He used to think it was impossible to have an awkward interaction with Mayo. The man has many talents, but the most of them all is his forever easygoing demeanor. It has always been comfortable to be around him, until now.

“So, is the rumor true?” Mayo takes a small sip of beer and sets the bottle neatly on the coaster.

“What rumor?” It’s not a rhetorical question. There are ten new rumors every hour these days.

“You know, about Cali.” Mayo smiles and tilts his head suggestively, and the air is filled with a dangerous sense of provocation, dancing on the edge of offensiveness. “People have been talking, but who knows better than you? You are the one with the relationship.”

The words are spoken in a gentle, teasing tone, almost warm, yet Amado feels himself freeze, muscles tensing up instinctively like he’s about to enter a shootout.

He bites out the word in a flat tone. “Relationship?”

“Yeah? I mean, we’re all transporting their products, but you are the only one they have a close relationship with. Everyone knows that.”

Amado slowly leans closer, usually that would be a gesture of intimacy between them, but now it only carries threat and pressure. “What are you trying to say, Mayo?”

“That they’re getting out of the business?” Mayo shrugs and picks up the beer bottle again, casually taking another sip, and just like that, the air is again filled with a relaxed atmosphere. “They’re your supply, and right now my supply is you, so I need to know if that’s true.”

Amado stares into Mayo’s eyes, hoping to see something in the other man’s eyes that can give him away: nervousness, challenge or even smugness, but there’s nothing besides curiosity, as if that provocative stare earlier only existed in Amado’s imaginations.

Mayo silently holds his gaze, completely chill like he has nothing to hide, and if Amado knows anything about the man, is that he can maintain that pretense for as long as he wants.

Amado sighs and leans back into his chair. “It’s true.”

“I see.” Mayo nods, seemingly not surprised at all. “Things are changing fast these days, huh?”

“They are.”

“Well, guess I’ll get going then, a lot to take care of.” Mayo finishes the beer, grabs his cowboy hat and starts walking away, but then he stops, turning back to Amado again.

“Hey you know what? Why don’t you fly me back to Mazatlán?”

“…What?”

“You’ve been on all my boats, but I’ve never been on one of your planes.” Mayo leans sideways on a wall, a pretty clear gesture to show he’s not leaving until he gets what he wants. “That doesn’t sound fair, does it?”

It’s a silly question. Since when is fairness ever a consideration in their business? But this isn’t a business request.

This entire meeting has little to do with business.

Mayo doesn’t hide his surprise and confusion when they get out of the car at the end of a dirt road, surrounded by sparse desert plants.

“What, didn’t meet your expectations?” Amado feels the corners of his mouth curving up as he leads them through a narrow path into an open area covered by bushes and large stones, where a few small but efficient planes are hidden. If he has a choice, he rather spends more time here, out in an open field with his planes. He can fly away anytime, get up there in the sky and let everything fade away. How nice would that be?

“Maybe? I thought it would be fancier, you know, like your house.”

Amado snorts, “I’m sure the DEA would love that too.”

“Fair enough, so which one’s your favorite?”

“None of them. My favorite one, she is a bit too old to fly now.” Amado answers truthfully. There’s no need for tests and games now. This is the last time.

“I get it. It’s like your first love, never easy to let go.” Mayo nods, not in a casual, dismissive way, but like he truly understands, and maybe he does. Maybe Mayo also bought his first boat on a payment plan, and kept it running as long as he could.

Amado doesn’t know if that’s really the case because he never asked, and it’s too late to ask now. So he simply walks to a plane and unlocks the door.

Mayo climbs into the co-pilot seat, not hiding his curiosity as he observes the hundreds of buttons on the control panel, and even touches a few without asking. Amado’s pretty sure Mayo did that just to push his buttons.

“Yeah, this is too fucking complicated.”

“They’re pretty intuitive once you understand them.” Amado quickly completes the checklist before taking off. It’s like muscle memory to him now. “I like it more than driving.”

“Oh I’m sure! At least there’s no traffic up there.” Mayo laughs, and it sounds no different than their countless previous encounters. Amado swallows down the uncomfortable sourness in his chest, silently moving the plane to the runway.

“Put your headset on.”

“Yes sir.” The teasing voice comes out of his own headset and it makes his neck tingle. It sounds too close, like a whisper right into his ear.

The runway looks unimpressive but it’s very well maintained. Within a minute, they’re smoothly going up in the air.

Once they reach a stable attitude, he immediately hears Mayo’s voice coming from the headset again. “So how good of a pilot are you?”

Amado scoffs, “what do you think?”

“I don’t know, maybe you’ve gotten rusty? It’s not like you need to transport your own cargo these days.”

Amado rolls his eyes. “If you’re challenging me to do tricks in the air, it’s not fucking happening.”

“What? No! Why would I…” Mayo bursts out laughing, “I have something else in mind.”

“No.” Amado hears the word coming out of his own mouth before Mayo’s hand reaches his thigh.

“Why not?”

“Do you want to die?”

“I thought you were a good pilot.” The hand slowly moves closer, skillful fingers closing around his belt buckle, “a very good one.”

“Stop it.”

“Calm down. We won’t be landing in a while, right? I’m not a pilot but I know this is the easy part.” His belt buckle opens with a click. He didn’t actually hear it with his headset on, but somehow he felt the sound.

Mayo was right. There’s not much to do until he starts the landing process. Sure, it’s still reckless to get a handjob while flying, but that’s not why he can’t do it.

He’s already enjoying everything too much as it is.

“Mayo, stop it right now.” He says that in the most threatening tone he can manage at the moment, but even he can hear the subtle shakiness.

He hears a scoff, and then his zipper opens. “I don’t think you mean that.”

Soft fingertips meet his growing desire, and there’s no way to explain, nowhere to hide.

No. This is not happening.

He grabs Mayo’s hand, yanks it out of his pants and throws it to the other side of the cockpit like a piece of hot metal.

Amado hears a loud bang, and from the side vision, he sees Mayo’s body tense up at the impact. He expects a painful groan, but no sound is coming through his headset.

He sighs and turns to look. Mayo’s balling his left hand into a fist. It looks red with a few small cuts. Maybe it hit an uneven surface on the control panel.

Mayo silently looks up and meets his gaze, and for the first time, he sees a crack of that seemingly undisturbable front. He sees rage, raw and uncontrolled, natural. If Amado weren’t still controlling the plane, he would definitely be punched in the face now.

“Did anything break?”

“No.”

“Ok.”

He wants to say more, maybe even apologize, but then decides against it. He wishes he could do something without much talking, like offering an ice pack. Then he remembers he can actually do that.

“There’s a first aid box at the back if you need it.”

“Ok.” Mayo says, but doesn’t go get it.

They spend the rest of the flight in complete silence. When they’re approaching Mazatlán, Amado nearly makes a comment on how beautiful the sea is, just a natural reaction, but then he bites his lips and swallows the words back.

The landing is as smooth as the take off. Amado turns off the engine, and suddenly all background noise disappears.

Mayo gives him one last look, neither hostile or friendly, just acknowledging his existence.

“It was a good ride, for as long as it lasted.”

Then he opens the door and steps off. Amado watches him walk away. He thought it would feel different, more significant in a way, but it’s not. It’s just a walk, probably a regular occurance for Mayo, walking away from someone, forgetting everything they offered and didn’t offer, and just like that, simply onto the next journey.

Always better to be my own boss.

He’s a man of his words, and Amado respects that.

It takes another three weeks to get everything ready: house, money, securities, the exact plane he needs to fly. He thought about every possible way that things could go wrong and how to counter each scenario. It’s the best plan he could come up with, and if that doesn’t work…well, there’s an end to everything.

It’s 6 pm in the evening. Amado sits alone on the grand staircase, looking down at the luxurious living room. He once overheard a maid telling a gardener the sunset looked gorgeous from the floor to ceiling window in this living room. He didn’t pay much attention, pretty much forgot about it right after. But just earlier today it suddenly came back to him, because he wanted to watch the beautiful sunset from his home at least once.

In two days, he will be gone.

He slowly sips a glass of whiskey, watching the sky get darker. Maybe he’s supposed to feel some kind of tranquility. Things might not go as planned tomorrow, he knows that and has made peace with it more or less. Whatever happens, he’s had an exciting life, more exciting than most.

Still, he can’t shake the restless feeling in his chest, and deep down he knows why. It’s been there since his last trip to Mazatlán.

Mayo might have gotten the closure he wanted, but Amado hasn’t.

He’s been telling himself it doesn’t matter either way, but that’s a lie. He’s never been someone to leave a loose end of any kind. He’s never been a coward since he got into this business, and he’s certainly not going to be one at the end of it.

Amado gets up from the stairs, grabs a jacket and walks out of the door.

It’s already pitch dark when he gets to Mazatlán, completely alone. Ironically, that reminds him of their first few encounters, always in the darkness that hides them from everyone else, as well as themselves.

He knows where Mayo lives. He’s known it for a very long time, but never had a reason to visit without an invitation, until now.

The guards by the door look equally perplexed and scared, and Amado wonders if their patrón ever informed them of this possibility, if Mayo ever expected him to intrude.

The door opens after several minutes, and through some complicated corridors, he’s led to a cozy room that looks like a study. The light is dim and intimate, the armchair feels soft. Everything here is screaming for something to happen, except the owner himself.

“What a big surprise.” Mayo gives him a smile across from the large wooden desk, appropriate and polite.

“I hope you don’t mind.”

“Does it matter if I do?”

Amado looks away for a second. “Maybe not.” It’s true. Once he’s gone it wouldn’t matter.

“So? This must be something important.”

“No, nothing’s wrong. It’s just…I didn’t make it clear last time.” He takes a deep breath, and then slowly exhales. “I told you about the supply, but…”

He stops mid-sentence. He’s practiced this over a hundred times in his head on the way here, but there is no other way to say I’m disappearing for good without actually saying it.

“You won’t see or hear from me again,” he ends up saying. It’s the closest to truth he can afford to share, “for quite a while.”

“I see.” There’s a second of surprise on Mayo’s face, but he immediately looks away to hide it. Then it’s completely gone when their eyes meet again. “Maybe laying low for a while isn’t a bad idea, considering all that’s happening.”

Part of Amado wishes Mayo to say something else, to give a hint that he knows what’s really happening, so there is at least one person in the world that understands.

But why should Mayo understand? It’s not like he knows much about Mayo either. Amado looks at the artworks and books on the shelf behind the desk. Are they just decorations or do they have more meanings? He doesn’t know, does he?

“You’re gonna be ok? With supply and everything?”

Mayo chuckles, relaxed and genuine just like the good old times. “You know me, Amado.”

“Yeah. Always been your own boss, right?”

He feels the smile on his own face as they look at each other. There is no tension or sorrow, just a peacefulness that makes his stomach warm.

“Oh, I almost forgot! Since you’re here…” Mayo opens a drawer and takes out a small box. “I wanted to give it to you last time when you flew me back, but you know, plans change.”

It’s not wrapped or decorated in any way, just a plain black box. He gives Mayo a questioning look, but the other man just shrugs, so he opens it.

It’s a small sculpture of a boat, not like the ones Mayo uses to transport shrimp and coke, but a dreamy sailboat with exquisite pink and golden patterns, like something that belongs to a princess in fairy tales. Under the boat, white waves are curling on the crystal blue ocean, but they also look like sky and clouds.

And on the boat is a dark-haired little girl in a long white dress. Her eyes are closed and her lips are tilted up into a sweet smile. She’s holding a bible to her chest, a cross dangling from her neck.

Right below where the girl is standing, on the side of the boat, it writes Anna.

Amado opens his mouth to say something, but he feels his throat close up. Suddenly it’s hard to make a sound or even breathe.

“At first I wanted to make a plane that takes her to heaven, but then I figured it might be too modern for God.” He hears Mayo speaking again. Maybe he’s been silent for too long, but his brain can’t even register the words he’s hearing. “I mean, the ark was a boat, right?”

“I…” He tries to speak again, and his voice comes out hoarse and strained. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Hey, it’s ok, really!” Now somehow Mayo also seems to be panicking a little, which is almost a miracle. “It’s not like I made it myself. I just paid someone to do it and it’s not even expensive.”

Amado traces the word Anna with his fingertips, feeling the delicate design. All of a sudden a trigger in his brain is flipped, releasing a piece of memory, with Pacho’s voice echoing in his ears.

You will find someone.

He already has, when he wasn’t even looking.

He was just fucking blind.

He reaches over and grabs Mayo’s hand.

“Come with me.”

“…What? To where?”

“I’m not laying low for a while. I’m leaving, forever, in two days.”

“Oh! Ok…that’s…” So many turbulent emotions flash through Mayo’s face, and Amado has never seen something more vivid, more real. “And you said…What are you asking exactly?!”

“I know I should have said something sooner, way sooner, but it’s now or never.” Amado feels the hand under his palm tense up, so he rubs circles on the skin soothingly. “And I don’t want it to be never.”

“You…” Mayo stares at him completely dumbfounded, speechless. Maybe he deserves some kind of award just for that. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am. Look, just think about it. How long are you gonna keep doing this? And what’s your end goal? To make bigger numbers than me? Than Cali? Escobar?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“I know, I’m not…” He feels Mayo trying to pull the hand away, so he lets it go out of respect. “You’re right. That’s none of my business, but I know one thing.”

He looks around the room at the tasteful decorations representing their owner’s wealth. “All these… They’ll be gone when the end catches up, one way or another.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

Mayo remains quiet and expressionless for a while, and Amado waits patiently, more than willing to give him the time. But then his entire figure hardens. “So that’s what this is all about.”

Amado senses something is terribly wrong, but he doesn’t know what. “What do you mean?”

“Well let’s see, where do I begin? The government was onto you, you lost your supply and your Colombian boyfriend dumped you. So you came up with an escape plan, which was a pretty good idea. But when the 48 hour count down began, you had some kind of…fucking existential crisis, so you came here to grab the first person you could think of, to bring them like a bag of cash.”

“What?! No! How did you even…”

“No? Really?!” Mayo abruptly stands up and bangs on the desk with both hands, so hard that he feels the floor vibrate a little.

Amado leans back into his chair out of sheer instinct. He’s not frightened by the outburst, but he is genuinely, wholeheartedly in shock.

Mayo glances at the door and lowers his voice, but the menace it carries only increases. “Tell me again, when are you leaving?”

“In two days?”

“How long did it take for you to prepare?”

“…Several months.”

“And how long have we known each other?”

He looks up to meet Mayo’s eyes again, and he sees it, the thick layer of pain shadowing all the anger.

Mayo balls both hands into fists, slightly trembling with tension. Under the table, Amado holds the sculpture tightly, its hard edges digging into his palm. It hurts.

Maybe Mayo should have just punched him last time on the plane after they landed. He would have deserved it, and Mayo could have saved himself some trouble.

But nothing happens, just like nothing happened last time. Eventually Mayo lets out a long sigh and sits back down.

“I hope you can get away, and I’m not telling this to anyone.” Mayo takes out a cigarette and lights it, taking a long drag. “But get the fuck out of my house.”

Amado feels his body burning, but there’s also a scary numbness, like his brain literally just overheated his entire body because it couldn’t handle everything that was going on.

He swallows and puts his hands on the armrests, bracing himself to stand up, then turns around to walk away.

“I’m sorry.” He says, when he reaches the door. The words came out on their own, surprising himself. He turns around, truly one last time.

“I’m sorry. I mean it.”

“I said get out.”

Amado spends the next two days in autopilot mode. He already knows everything that needs to be done, so he just does them, but it feels more like accomplishing a preassigned task rather than going to his freedom. He doesn’t know what happens after, and he barely made sense of what happened before, so he is simply going to execute the plan. It’s his only option now.

He hugs his brother one last time when they get to the deserted secret airport, watching the car drive away. Then he just stands there by himself for a few minutes, registering the fact that this is really happening. Then he starts to move his luggage into the plane. There are quite a few bags, understandably, so it will take him several trips.

When he’s about to walk out of the plane to grab the last two duffel bags, he hears a car coming. Silently cursing, Amado takes out his gun and takes cover inside the plane, peeking out of a window.

The person walks out of the car.

His breath hitches.

Amado slowly walks down the air stair, pistol pointing at the ground. “You’re not here to shoot me, right?” It’s meant to be a joke, but he can’t rule that out completely based on their last meeting.

“Honestly? I considered it.” Mayo leans back on the car and crosses his arm, “but that doesn’t fit my best interest.”

“How did you even find me?”

“You brought me here once. Did you forget that too?”

He doesn’t respond, and doesn’t need to. They both know that doesn’t answer the question.

“I saw the news for the last two days. They’ve been seizing your large hangers, thinking they’ve got you pinned down. But I thought hey, maybe that was the plan, a well timed distraction.” Mayo shrugs, “Believe it or not, it was a blind guess, just good luck.”

Amado turns the safety back on and tucks the gun away. This isn’t luck. Mayo knows him, more than either of them is willing to admit.

“Alright, say I believe that.” He takes a few steps closer tentatively. “Why are you here?”

“I thought about what you said. Most of it was fucking bullshit, but you did have one good point.”

“Yeah? What’s that?” Amado adjusts his jacket. All of a sudden he’s feeling the chilliness of the evening breeze, like his body is coming out of the robotic state.

“I don’t want to wait for the end to catch up, and if I’m being honest, with how things are going these days? When the time comes for me I might not have a plan better than this one that you spent months working on, whatever it is.”

Mayo walks to the back of the car and opens the truck, revealing several large bags.

“So I’m taking advantage of this good chance right now.”

“So…you’re basically using me.” There’s a subtle sourness in his chest, but he knows he’s smiling.

“Well, you used me first for a fucking long time, so now it’s my turn.”

Amado walks over and helps him take out two bags. His own luggage on the ground can wait a little.

“Then let’s call it even?”

“I don’t know, depends on where we’re going.”

“Chile.”

Mayo thinks about it, and then smiles.

“Deal.”

“We also need to hide your car.” Amado says, after they moved everything into the plane.

“Don’t worry about it, José will take care of it later.” Mayo waves him off, “I do have some plans, you know?”

“Wait…José? José the restaurant guy?!”

Mayo pauses for several seconds, and then bursts out laughing. “Right, I never told you!”

“Never told me what?”

Mayo pats him on the shoulder, with that exact same casual playfulness as before. The only difference is this time Mayo lets the touch linger there.

“I’ll tell you everything later. We’ve got time.”

@ashlingiswriting @hausofmamadas @mandaloria314 @drabbles-mc @cherixrosa @cositapreciosa @criatividad-e @anunhealthydoseofangst @narcolini @artemiseamoon @alreadywritten @sikkui @dashavau

#screamblog #narcos mexico #narcos #netflix narcos #netflix narcos mexico #amado carrillo fuentes x ismael el mayo zambado #amado x mayo #amado x pacho #amado carrillo fuentes #ismael el mayo zambada #pacho herrera #narcos mexico imagine

18 notes · View notes

maizumis · 4 years ago

Text

— HAIKYUU BOYS REACTION TO YOU FALLING ASLEEP ON THEM

ft. bokuto koutarou, rintaro suna, iwaizumi hajime, sawamura daichi, tsukkishima kei

note: female reader❗ first post!! enjoy babies<33

❦ BOKUTO you were actually tutoring him with akaashi, an hour in, and akaashi had a family emergency so now it was just you and him. "so you're telling me I can solve an equation with a letter in it? damn that's so crazy!", "We actually saw this the past year, that's why we are tutoring you, so you don't fail", "no need to be so harsh" he tells you while his hair deflates, so you replied with a lazy smile on your face "sorry bo, why don't you solve the equations while I see how you make them?", "yeah! that sounds good!", he practically yells at you with the happiest smile on his face as if he wasn't studying for a subject he was failing. third equation and you were finding comfort on koutaro's neck, so much comfort that you end up falling asleep on him. "hey, how am I doing? you didn't tell m- oh you're sleeping, I should call akaashi to ask him what to do" he tried to look for his phone in the quietest way so you wouldn't wake up, and once he finds it, he called his friend, "akaaaaashii", "bokuto-san, why are you whispering?", "she just fell asleep on me and I don't know what to do", he tells akaashi with a little desperation on his voice, "oh, okay, carefully put her on your bed and please make some snacks or tea for the girl when she wakes up", after a little more of small talk, he hangs up the phone and brings you to bed in the gentlest way he can, quietly making his way to the kitchen to make some tea for you.

❦ SUNA lazy afternoons were actually something pretty common with suna, today after school you two went to his house and now you're lying on top of his naked chest, one of your hands on it while the other one is brushing his brown looks, at the same time, suna has his arm wrapped securely around your waist, watching some shitty movies on his laptop. "listen pretty thing, if you fall asleep first you're gonna have to make me dinner", "as if I would fall asleep right now sunarin... we both now I'm gonna make dinner anyways, you should really ask 'samu for some help in the kitchen", "don't you dare bring up another mans name while your literally on top of me". forty-five minutes into the movie and he started feeling something wet on his upper body, "baby the movie isn't even that sa– oh, you're drooling", he chuckled to himself, carefully cuddling you the rest of the movie, thinking how lucky he is for having you, and once the film is ending, he decided he would make dinner this time around; "Rin, are you in here?"', "in the kitchen, doll", he tells you a little loud so you could hear him, "I'm sorry I fell asleep", you yawn while wrapping your arms around his torso, "don't be, look at me now I'm making dinner but, this" he gestures to himself "is husband material, you shouldn't waste it", and damn he is right, who on his right state of mind would let him go?

❦ IWAIZUMI his unconditional love for you was noticed for everyone, except you, of course. as his and the other boys childhood friends, you were always invited to hangouts, except the ones that were just for "the boys" as they claimed. today's reunion was at issei's house, tooru and you begged for a Disney movie night, makki was saying that it was for children just so his friends couldn't see the excitement in his eye that wasn't unnoticed to your eyes. making your way to the couch, hajime signed for you to come to sit on his lap for the rest of the movie night, a thing you kindly accepted. "single lives matter, you know", issei says with a fake pout, "just shut up and let me enjoy, caterpillar brows" you told him while iwaizumi's arm tightens around your waist. your favorite part of the movie was coming so tooru said with an excited tone, "look cutie-chan, Megara is about to sing with the muses!... cutie-chan? you're ignoring me?", Hajime looked at you because tooru was right, that was indeed your favorite part of the movie, only to find you crushed on his neck slightly snoring; "shut up shittykawa, she's tired, let her sleep", he whispered, wishing his teammates didn't see the blush on his cheeks, "you know iwa, your cheeks are kinda matching my hair right now", makki told him trying to hide his laugh, "what happened iwa-chan? cat got your tongue?", tooru's remark was what send him over the edge, so he replied with "I will not hesitate to throw a ball to all of you next practice", he thought he could handle the teasing if that means you would be by his side like this more often.

❦ DAICHI you were exhausted from today's activities, not only you were on your basketball school team but exams were just around the corner so you were studying a lot and sleeping less these past days, exhausted would be the least you could call it. happy thing, today is friday and that means sleepover with your boyfriend, daichi; you were already waiting for him at the gate of the gym by the end of practice. "baby, you're okay? something seems off", he told you with a worried look on his face, "all cool, I'm just happy we have some time to spend together after this week" you told him with a quick kiss in the corner of his lip, making his cheeks a little pinkish. after you two arrived to your house, he went to the kitchen to make some snacks and you went to the living room to choose a movie; "Barbie and the diamond castle? again?", "yes, again daichi, deal with it, thank you for the snacks tho bub" literally fifteen minutes into the movie and you were already drooling on his bicep, he noticed and moved your head to his lap "you're lucky I love you, I don't watch Barbie movie's for everyone, sleep well, you deserve it love" a few more minutes and his head was hanging out of the couch snoring just a little, he went to sleep happy with the feeling of being beside you, can't wait for the future, he thinks before dozing off.

❦ TSUKKISHIMA your really tall and pretty boyfriend made his way inside the school, mentally hoping to see you, what he doesn't expect is not even a single tray of you in your classroom, a thing that leaves him to ask yachi where are you, "umh yachi, do you know where is she?" he asked with an unbothered expression, slowly dying on the inside, "she? OH, yes, she told me she is with a high fever so she could make it today, would you give to her my notes please?" she asked, a little intimidated by the tall boy, "yeah sure, tell daichi and ukai that I'm not going to practice today" after yachi giving him the okay he left, a little more relieved but still worried. the school day is over and after his younger manager lend him the notes you needed, he started making his way to your house, greeting your mother once he is in, going directly to your room where he doesn't even greet you, "why you didn't tell me you were sick? I could have skip class and take care of you", he tells you, annoyed but still caring, "I didn't tell you beacuse of that exact reason Kei, now come inside the bed and cuddle me" tsukkishima got inside the bed hesitating a little bit but once he found comfort on your warm, he was gone, "you know, you worried me, I couldn't stop thinking about you all day and you were here with a high fever and I could do nothing, i— you know is rude not to answer when someone is talking to you?", actually you were dead asleep the moment he touched the bed, his warm and company was all you needed and craved for the entire day; sighing he whispers to you, before going to sleep "I love you, please don't worry me again like that, short stuff"

2K notes · View notes

peachycoreroo · 4 years ago

Text

angel | kuroo tetsurou

summary: the only thing that came to mind when you heard the word angel, was your crushes ex girlfriend. so what do you do when suddenly you’re the angel or how a book can bring two people together

pairing: college!kuroo tetsurou x fem!reader

genre: smut, a lotta plot tho, basically pwp

word count: 7.9k

warnings: dom!kuroo, fingering, oral fem! receiving, praise, both being extremly needy, it’s not really kinky, slight breeding kink tho, a few spanks, vaginal penetration

authors note: pls don’t even ask about the book thing, this entire thing is based of one of my dreams and i had no idea why the book appeared, but it did and i didn’t wanna leave it out soooo, ye<3 here’s a link to my masterlist

you sighed, as you continued typing your essay. maybe coming to the coffee shop was not the best idea you had, since it was friday and apparently every college student on campus decided it was coffee time after their lecture, but you didn’t expect it to be so overflown with people.

sitting at the far back, you realized that you were not going to get any work done with how loud everyone around you was being, so you just sat back and observed the people around you, while drinking the cheap coffee you ordered earlier. observing and analyzing the behavior of those around you always came natural to you. some guy watching his girlfriend as she was deciding what to order, even though she was taking way too long, with love. a friend group of a few pretty girls walking past a table full of sexist pigs who thought the only way to get their attention was by whistling after them as if they were dogs. and your crush looking at you.

wait.

huh?

quickly averting your eyes back to your laptop, you could feel your heart rate pick up to an unnatural speed. pretending to suddenly be terribly busy with drinking coffee, a million thoughts ran through your head. you were quite positive that you’ve seen his girlfriend sitting right next to him, so why was he staring so intensely at you?

it’s not as if you never talked. kuroo tetsurou was easily the most interesting person you have ever had the pleasure of having intellectual conversations with. you were taking some business classes in your third semester, since you thought they would be of value for your future. that’s where you met him. kuroo sat next to you since the first day of the lecture but you were way too intimidated by his attractiveness to start the first real conversation beyond greetings, so when the opportunity had arisen, you snatched it right away.

after one of the lectures, he left his phone on the desk and since he was already gone, you took it and hurried after him. just as he was leaving through the huge main doors of your university, you caught up to him and grabbed his arm. embarrassingly, not being the most athletic made you look like a creep as kuroo directed his confused stare at your form, hunched over, breathing hard but still latching onto his arm.

“uh, hi? y/n, right?”, the tall boys’ confusion lightly seeped into his questioning tone as his eyes moved between you and the hand you used to hold him back from walking further.

taking one last deep breath, you forced yourself to stand up right and look into his eyes, but oh, what mistake that was. funnily enough, you never actually looked directly into his eyes, so you didn’t expect to suddenly have to divert all your focus on trying to keep the gasp, you wanted to let out, in your throat. in your memories, from the milliseconds you had the courage to look into his eyes when he greeted you, his eyes were brown but all at once you were confronted with the most beautiful hazel eyes you have ever seen.

as a consequence of having to put all your mental capacity on not gasping out loud or even worse, admitting how attractive he was, the words that came out of your mouth only furthered your embarrassment.

“you. phone. lecture. forgot”, you stumbled over your words as if that were your first attempt at communicating.

feeling your already hot face burn brighter as tetsurous confusion further solidified on his handsome face, you only hoped he thought the running was responsible for you looking like a sweaty mess.

you forced yourself to let out a short laugh as you broke eye contact to gain back your composure. “sorry, I didn’t expect the running to get to me that bad. maybe lev is right, I should try some aerobics with him”, starting to mumble towards the end, you shook your head. “anyway, you forgot your phone on the table in our lecture just now. i didn’t want to hold onto it till thursday and didn’t know where else to find you, so i ran after you. m’ sorry if I kinda freaked you out”, you quickly added while holding out his phone to him.

as you never really talked to the tall man before, your head snapped up to look at him when you heard his deep chuckle. was there something that’s not attractive about this man?

taking the phone from your hands, you were finally able to experience the first full sentence kuroo tetsurou ever directed at you. “well, thanks. i definitely didn’t wanna be without a phone two whole days, so i appreciate you running after me with such determination”, he remarked, as he observed how out of breath you still were, grinning.

“oh god, you know, never doing anything nice for you ever again sounds good right about now”, you groaned, lifting a hand in front of your face to stop him from studying your slightly damp face.

nothing on this green-blue-brown floating rock in space that is also known as the earth, could have prepared you for what you were witnessing next. with your mouth slightly ajar, you looked at tetsurou as he leaned over, clutching his stomach, while letting out the funniest laugh you have ever heard in your life.

in your mind, you saw a quick flash of a scene from ‘the lion king’, in which one of the hyenas was laughing exactly like that. you briefly wondered whether kuroo was influenced by that scene as a kid before you couldn’t keep your laugh in anymore after the initial shock subdued.

“my apologies, the situation was just way too perfect for me to not tease you. i’d be honored if you’d grace me with your kindness again, my highness”, he slightly bowed while, once again, flashing you that sly smirk that made you wanna punch and make out with him at the same time.

you tried to match his energy as best as you could with your head jumbled from the proximity to the man you have been sitting next to every tuesday and thursday from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m., but looking back at the interaction, you couldn’t wrap your head around tetsurou wanting to continue talking to you after that conversation.

“i’ll consider it, peasant.”

after that, you and your smart seatmate talked a lot more. you found out that he was majoring in sports management and minoring in chemistry even though it was so different from management, just because he liked it. lev, your best friend at college since the first day when he didn’t see you from his 6’5” point of view and knocked you over as you were looking at the menu in the very coffee shop you were currently sitting in, turned out to be one of kuroo’s old friends from high school. which let you to find out the most unfortunate information about kuroo tetsurou thus far.

as you were walking to your next lecture with the dark-haired man, lev joined in with a tall, blonde, and gorgeous woman by his side. you immediately recognized alisa, lev’s sister. even though the silver-haired boy was ginormous, he couldn’t hold his liquor very well, which resulted in you having to drag the giraffe of a human home after a party quite a few times. there, you met alisa.

wanting to go in for a hug with the beautiful blonde, you froze at once as you tried to process what you were seeing. tetsurou had an arm wrapped around her petite waist, the other one placed on her sharp jaw, as he softly pecked her lips.

lev excitedly started telling you about a new side job he got as a model and while you supported him with your whole heart and were genuinely proud of him for landing that job, you could only zero in on the sight in front of you. your eyes hyper focused on the way his large hands were gently grabbing her waist, your ears on the soft ‘how was your day?’ and flirty ‘better, now that you’re here’ exchanged.

putting on your best poker face and directing your attention to the excited titan beside you, your own reaction startled you. even more surprising was who you were jealous of. you did have a small crush on alisa at the start, who wouldn’t? she’s tall, beautiful, fun, loving, caring, alas she was way too similar to lev to develop a full-on crush on her. then, it dawned on you, that the one you were jealous of, was not tetsurou, but in fact, alisa.

of course, you thought your seatmate was attractive from the first moment you saw him, but how you managed to develop a crush on him without even realizing it, was beyond you. ugly, jealous thoughts made their way into your head about one of the most loveable people you met. those disgusting thoughts slithered their hands around your throat, trying to suffocate you and so you buried that small crush in the back of your mind.

after that encounter you kept your distance to the handsome male. it was better for you, your sanity and everyone involved. in no way were you ever going to go between a loving relationship because of your own selfish feelings.

for crying out loud, you didn’t even know kuroo that well while alisa was like a sister to you. however, you weren’t able to tune out the insecure voices in your head. of course, he liked tall, model-like women who resembled angels not only physically but also with their personality. who were you to compare yourself to her? not even you yourself liked who you were, so why would one of the most attractive guys you ever saw?

you deserved someone good, but alisa deserved the world, so you just wished that tetsurou was the best for her.

and while kuroo tetsurou was a lot of things, he wasn’t ignorant, so when you decided to sit down in another seat in the lecture a few times or made up some excuses as to why he couldn’t walk with you to your next seminar, he knew something was wrong.

which brings you back to right now, with you staring at your laptop, hoping that the boy you’ve been trying to avoid wouldn’t come over to check on you. alas, your luck was apparently all spent, because you could see a tall, dark figure drop themselves on the bench in front of you.

“y/n.”

at the low tone of his voice calling your name, you lifted your gaze from your laptop to look at the boy you were trying to stay clear of.

“hmm? oh, hey tetsurou. didn’t see you there.” bullshit, he thought.

“yeah, ’m here with alisa. just a quick break before she has her next lecture.” while saying that, kuroo focused on your expression, trying to gauge your emotions and maybe get a hint on why you were actively keeping him at arm’s length.

after taking a swift look in the direction the happy couple was sitting just a few minutes ago, you nodded and kept your eyes on your coffee.

“that’s nice, you should probably go back now though. don’t want you to waste precious date time”, you said cheerfully, but weren’t able to keep out the slightly bitter tone out of your voice. that’s exactly why you were trying to stay away from him. the sight of the merry couple only fueled your toxic thoughts about two people you cherished and even though you wished for them to be happy together, the insecurities deep inside you wouldn’t let you.

seeing the slight change in your voice and expression, kuroo cocked his head to the side. did he say the wrong thing?

“she’s already leaving, so i decided to catch up with you for a bit.”

fantastic.

“well,” you remarked while closing your laptop and starting to pack your things, “I also need to get going, was nice seeing you though.”

“i’ll walk you”, was in fact not what you wanted to hear. but the universe hated you for some reason. you looked back at him and waved your hand dismissingly, trying to speedily think of a reason why he couldn’t accompany you: “uh, you see, i, uh... i’m visiting my parents this weekend, so i’ll just take the train. ’m not going back to the dorms.”

even if kuroo would have been stupid and oblivious, which he was not, your hurried attempt at getting rid of him just confirmed all his suspicions. but the ex-captain wasn’t going to let you run away from him so easily.

“no problem, i’ll walk you to the train station. the field i practice volleyball in with lev and a few others is nearby. ‘was gonna head there anyway, let’s go.” this time, he didn’t let you enough time to object, so you were stuck grabbing your things and following him, regardless of what you wanted.

to your surprise, kuroo didn’t say a thing on the way to the train station. you expected him to force you into a whole debate about whether pluto was a planet or not, but he just stayed silent. was that a bit of your luck shining through, or was he angry?

not wanting to push your luck any longer, you stayed silent as well, as you waited for your train at the designated platform. guess you had to make a surprise visit to your hometown because of your little lie, but maybe that was exactly what you needed. some time away to clear your head.

but just as you got excited for the spontaneous trip, kuroo finally dropped what has been on his mind the whole walk or rather, the whole three weeks you’ve been running away from him as if he was on fire and you couldn’t wait to get away from him as far as possible.

“y/n. why are you avoiding me?”, he questioned, looking at the rails ahead, instead of you.

“w-what? i’m not, why would you think that?”, you quickly sputtered out, hardly able to convince yourself of your own lies.

tetsurou gave you a look of complete skepticism, quickly shutting down your protests. “don’t play dumb with me, ’m not stupid. i know you’re not sitting down way further in the back or running out of the lecture on accident. you’re doing this on purpose. even just a moment ago you didn’t want me to escort you. tell me why.”

luckily, the train arrived just on time, so you quickly hoped on with a fleeting 'see you next week' and hoped he would just assume you didn’t quite catch what he said because of the train.

he didn’t though. he knew that you heard him.

the short spontaneous weekend trip turned into you staying for almost two whole weeks because of a cold, so your mom wouldn’t let you return without someone taking care of you, not knowing you had some big news waiting for you once you got back.

“we broke up.”

wou were currently in the library after returning to campus, trying to catch up on some lectures you missed, when alisa entered. together, you were walking around the english literature section, catching up when she dropped the bomb.

“wait, what? how? when? why? huh? what did he do?”, you asked dumbfounded, feeling bad about your two friends, who were so clearly in love, breaking up. but even more than that, you could feel disgust creep up your spine because deep down you knew you were sickly happy about the fact that kuroo was now single. what a shit fucking friend you were.

“relax”, alisa chuckled. “he didn’t do anything, we just kinda came to the agreement that we don’t love each other the same anymore. i felt like he was always distracted the last weeks we were together, always deep in thought, and i decided to concentrate on my graduation and career as a model. it was a great college relationship and i still care for him, we just… we broke up about a week ago.”

“well, as long as you’re both happy with the decision”, you sighed while picking ‘pride and prejudice’ by jane austen from a bookshelf, not feeling like such a piece of shit for being lowkey happy about it anymore, but you still knew you two would never work. even if the breakup was mutually decided, tetsurou was still her ex.

hearing alisa giggle, you turned your gaze from the book in your hand and wondered: “huh? why are you laughing?” the tall blonde only grinned and continued her way down the aisle. completely confused, you followed her with the book still in hand.

“what the fuck? kinda acting sus not gonna lie.”

“wow, I thought you had better jokes than that y/n”, she teased, sitting down at a nearby table.

breathing out some air out of your nose in mock anger, you sat down beside her, tipping your non-existent fedora. “sorry i’m not up to your comedy standards, m’lady.”

alisa laughed loudly before noticing the book you were still holding, her laughter turning into a knowing grin. once again, you shot her a confused look: “what is it with you today? your mood swings are confusing the shit outta me.”

“you know, that’s like one of tetsu’s favorite books.”

“what? 'pride and prejudice'?”, you inquired, puzzled. why was she telling you this? “are you like, having some post-breakup nostalgia or?”

she laughed once again, waving her manicured hand dismissingly and shaking her head: “it just kinda popped into my head. i never read it, but he once wanted to read it to me. it did not end well; i couldn’t take it seriously and had to laugh the whole time. he just gave up and sulked for the rest of the evening.”

“yep, definitely pbn”. the girl shoved your shoulder slightly while snickering before taking out her laptop and working on something, leaving you alone with your conflicted thoughts.

as fate would have it, you didn’t really talk to kuroo for the last two weeks of lectures. finals were catching up and you had a lot of exams, leaving you with no time to catch up with the tall boy. plus, you were still trying to avoid him. you weren’t about to give into temptation and try your luck with alisa’s ex, which was much easier if said temptation didn’t walk around looking fine directly in front of you.

but with the weekend starting, you agreed to go to a party with the haiba siblings to treat yourself to a break from typing essay after essay. it was obvious that kuroo would also be there and this time, you wouldn’t be able to avoid him. the running had finally caught up to you.

before the party, you decided to go to the library to work on one of your essays, but with how much work there was left, you simply forgot the time. at 10 p.m., your phone rang.

“hello?”

“girl? why aren’t you here yet? and why aren’t you answering our messages? we texted you like a million times”, levs’ questioning voice echoed through the speaker.

quickly checking the time and number of messages you got, you gasped: “oh god, so sorry! i was at the library working on my shitty marketing essay! ’m gonna be right there!”

ending the phone call, you quickly gathered your things and rushed to your dorms. stripping on the way to the bathroom in your one room apartment, you hopped into the shower, feeling as if you were trying to break the world record for the fastest shower known to men.

as you were stepping out of the shower a few minutes later, someone knocked at your door, startling you. did the haiba siblings come to pick you up? with a hasty ‘’m coming’, you hurried to the door in only a towel.

“hey, I just got out of the shower, I just need…” faltering in your sentence, you gripped your towel tighter, trying not to freak out. because there were no alisa and lev in sight. just kuroo tetsurou. while you were standing there. with only a towel on. fuck. “that’s uh… you’re not alisa and lev.”

“er… n-no, no i’m not”, kuroo stuttered out, at least having the decency to avert his eyes to the ceiling, realizing what you had or rather had not on after checking you out. collecting your composure, you shot him a tight-lipped smile and stepped aside to let him in.

“come in, I just need to get dressed and do my makeup. you can wait inside.”

walking past you, the dark-haired man pretended to scratch his head to hide his red ears and quickly surveyed your room. “that’s…”, breaking off his sentence instantly when his voice cracked, he cleared his throat before trying again. “nice room.”

while kuroo tried not to have a mental breakdown and remember what he came here for, you picked up your disregarded clothes from earlier of the floor, being mindful of not to flash the man, and made your way to your wardrobe, chucking in your dirty laundry and scanning your variety of clothes to pick out the most flattering outfit for the party. “uh, yeah, thanks. so, uh, what did you want? ee would’ve seen each other at the party later anyway.”

but there was no answer, making you frown. just as you wanted to turn around, calling his name in confusion, you felt a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around your waist loosely, causing you to choke out his name.

kuroo leaned his head down towards your neck, slowly inhaling the scent of your strawberry bodywash before sighing contently. his soft, plump lips slowly trailed up to your ear, creating goosebumps on their way, before lowly murmuring: “you smell delicious. i could eat you up.”

you could feel yourself shiver at the low timbre of his voice and the indication of his words, as your heart rate picked up to the point you had the feeling as though you were going to die right then and there. how did his demeanor change so suddenly? it seemed as if you were in a room with a completely different person.

the ex-captain smugly grinned as he felt your breath quicken and chest heave without him even doing much, tightening one arm around your waist, while his large hand on the other arm splayed itself on your stomach, slowly sliding down towards where you wanted him. “hm? can I do that baby?”

just as quickly as the thoughts of ‘stop, this is so wrong. what about alisa?’ appeared in your mind, they immediately disappeared with the sweet melody of kuroo calling you baby.

not being able to keep a little whine from slipping out at the pet name, you nodded, your cheeks unbearably hot. but that wasn’t enough for him. tetsurou wanted your verbal consent, even if his half-hard cock already slightly twitched at the small noise you let out without him even touching you properly, screaming at him to finally fuck you.

avoiding the area, you wanted him to touch the most, his hand grabbed your thigh, causing you to squeeze your legs together in search of relief. he tsked at your lack of words and lightly spanked your thigh before tightening his grip around the fat, earning him a surprised squeak from you. “no, use your big girl words baby. i want to hear it.”

the instant tetsurou startled you with the spank, you hurriedly grabbed onto his forearms, lightly digging your nails into the muscles. already, everything was getting too much. his smooth voice seducing you, his dominant touch jumbling up your brain, his urgent need to hear your consent, his pleasant scent of a mix of his cologne, mint and husk surrounding you. him, him, him. you wanted more. you needed more. the slick between your legs grew embarrassingly fast, smearing on the inside of your thighs, showing off kuroo’s effect on you evidently.

“please… please touch me tetsu', I need it”, you whimpered out impatiently, making him close his eyes to stop himself from cumming already, your needy voice going straight to his dick standing at full attention. and even though the menace in him wanted to tease you and hear you beg more; he knew that he didn’t have the willpower to deny himself of having you any longer.

as you felt the tall male finally place his hand underneath your towel and cup your pussy, your head rolled back onto his shoulder, giving him full access to your neck. while dragging his middle and index finger through your folds leisurely, his lips and tongue placed hungry kisses on your neck.

“fuck, angel, you’re soaking wet. Is that all because of me, hmm?”, he lowly murmured against your neck, while his fingers simultaneously slowly circled your clit. you couldn’t stop your eyes from lolling to the back of your head or the small whimper that left you, even though the ‘angel’ left a bitter taste in your mouth. as much as the pet name made your stomach all tingly, you always compared alisa to an angel, so it didn’t quite sit well to be called that by her own ex.

but as you felt his middle finger enter you, all thoughts flew out of your head. The only thing on your mind were the raspy praises against your neck and his finger moving at a torturous pace inside you.

“please tetsu', more, I need more”, you complained whiny, because as much as it was all overwhelming, it also wasn’t enough. kuroo could only grin at your eagerness, but couldn’t blame you, since his own patience was speedily wearing thin.

with an uttered ‘everything for you angel’, he added his index finger into the mix, curling the two digits and, not wasting a moment, pumping them into you at a rapid pace, eliciting a quiet moan out of you. the ex-captain noted that you weren’t much of a moaner and mentally made it a challenge to have you crying for him by the end of the night. so, without much warning, his long, thick fingers started hammering against your g-spot while his thumb circled your clit at the same time, making you squeeze your eyes shut with your mouth opening in a silent scream, your hands searching for stability on the closet in front of you.

“c’mon, y/n, baby, i know you want it, fucking give it to me. ‘been fantasizing about this so long, just wanna make you feel good and fall apart for me. show me how much of a good girl you are.” his smooth voice flowed into your ear, seducing you to fully give into him. you felt as if you were being lured by satan himself and you were just a weak little human, not nearly strong enough to resist the whisper of the devil.

with a series of soft, high-pitched moans, you came on his fingers without any warning, your legs giving out at the intensity of it all. tetsurou only tightened his arm around your waist, picking you up without any trouble, making you clench around nothing at his display of effortless strength as he withdrew his fingers from your dripping hole. you thought you heard a small ‘good girl’, but you couldn’t tell for sure with the way you were still floating on cloud nine after he brought you to your orgasm that quickly.

panting and shivering at the goosebumps erupting, you lifted your gaze up at him as he placed you on your bed, only to find him already staring at you with low lids and completely black eyes, the beautiful hazel color of his eyes lost in all the lust and desire that took over his expression.

refusing to break eye-contact, kuroo lifted his with your essence-soaked fingers to his plush lips, wrapping them around the digits and sucking lewdly at them. once again, you felt yourself clench around nothing, rubbing your thighs against each other to get some relief, when you saw his eyes roll back as he tasted you.

the next thing you knew, your back hit the bed with the broad man lying between your spread legs, making you yelp. you could feel the atmosphere around tetsurou change once again. he was a lot more feral than he was before, as if his patience were running out.

his biceps wrapped around your plush thighs, holding you in place since the feeling of his breath against your cunt made your hips twitch up at their own accord, exposing the strong want you had for the man between your legs.

“’m gonna fucking wreck you angel”, he growled against your slit, before diving right in, licking and sucking messily at your clit, your pussy lips, everywhere he could reach. and as much as it shouldn’t feel pleasurable with him being as aggressive as he was, it felt fucking heavenly. you couldn’t help but arch your back, hands flying down to tangle in his messy rooster hair and tugging at the surprisingly soft strands, causing him to moan hoarsely against your sensitive pussy, the vibrations only egging you on. something about kuroo tetsurou losing his usual provocative, teasing demeanor as he ate you out felt so raw and animalistic, that it made your head spin and toes curl.

his large hand crept up your torso and he finally removed the towel that barely hid your breasts from him before palming one, drawing a content sigh out of you at the attention. but as much as he enjoyed listening to you whine and sigh because of the pleasure he was causing you, he wanted, no, needed to hear how much you wanted this, how much you wanted him.

“tell me how it feels angel, tell me how good it feels. ‘wanna hear your pretty voice, baby”, he huskily mumbled against your clit, making you arch your back at the delicious vibrations echoing through your core. but as much as you enjoyed hearing his dirty talk, you felt insecure about yours not turning him on.

preparing yourself mentally as good as you managed with the way he ate you out like a man starved, you allowed yourself a glance down only to see him expectantly observing you. the erotic sight only coaxed another high-pitched whine out of you, your head lolling back against your pillow.

at the next harsh suck on your sensitive bundle of nerves, your hips thrusted up against his skilled tongue and you finally gave in to your desire of wanting to tell him how good he was making you feel. only him.

“fuck, tetsu', d-don’t stop. feels so good, you feel so good, only you, please, please, please”, you needily moaned while grinding your hips up, simultaneously pushing his head deeper into your pussy and if kuroo had any self-control left, it was definitely gone now.

his toned biceps tightened around your thighs. his large hands squeezed your breast and hip harshly, leaving bruises for you to discover tomorrow. his able tongue messily switched between being shoved deep inside you and swirling your clit and you could feel the bed shake with how forceful he was humping the bed just from eating you out and hearing you talk like that. every little thing contributed to your orgasm washing over you like a tsunami. you were fairly sure you even blacked out for a few seconds because the next time you focused your attention back on tetsurou, he was frantically unbuttoning his jeans, with his shirt already off, whipping out his cock.

you felt your eyes widen as well as your pussy clench, you couldn’t remember the last time you were this horny, but you also weren’t sure how the fuck you were supposed to fit a cock this big and girthy inside you. meanwhile kuroo took off his boxers and contently sighed as he finally started stroking himself, giving himself some relief but it wasn’t enough. not by a long shot.

zoning in on your face once again - sweaty, low lidded eyes, blown out pupils- the impatient boy leaned down and kissed you for the first time that evening. after everything that just transpired between you two, the kiss definitely felt the most intimate, but it was also what you were craving the most from tetsurou for months now.

you didn’t know how to possibly express all the emotions you were currently overwhelmed with, so you tried to translate it all through the kiss. kissing back harder, all teeth and tongue, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer, pressing your thighs against his hips, hoping it was enough to convey what you wanted to say.

apparently, it was, because you could hear kuroo lowly growl against your lips before starting to dig his fingers into your hips and grind against you, finally letting you feel him where you needed him the most.

“n-not enough, tetsu'”, you eagerly whined, raising your hips, hoping it was enough to convince him to finally fuck you like you craved him to. but as thin as his patience was at the moment, kuroo tetsurou would not be kuroo tetsurou without his teasing antics.

he slyly grinned, pressing feather-light kisses down from your lips to your throat, making his way to your breasts, where he teasingly kitten-licked your nipples a few times, letting you think you were finally getting what you wanted before he raised his head and stared you down with his almost pitch-black eyes. “mmm, I know you can do better than that kitten”, he gruffly remarked while continuing to grind against you slowly, making you jerk and mewl every time you felt the head of his cock bump against your clit. “what do you want me to do, baby?”

how he still had it in him to tease and deny you, was beyond you, because you were on the edge of breaking down from how bad you wanted him. “’want you to fuck me, tetsu'”, you confidently said while gazing into his eyes, or at least, you tried to sound confident, but you were only able to whine and moan at this point.

kuroo closed his eyes and felt himself twitch against your pussy. you were going to be the death of him. sitting back up on his knees, he grabbed his cock and lined it up with your entrance, making you spread your legs automatically wider at the sight.

with one sharp snap of his hips, you both groaned simultaneously, your groan high-pitched, his low and guttural, at the feeling you’ve both been craving for. “fuck, you’re on birth control, right?”, he asked, straining himself as to not just start pounding you into oblivion or cum right on the spot.

“yes, shit”, you breathlessly answered, putting your hands against his toned abdomen as to let him know to wait, which only made him clench his abs at the feeling of your soft hands on his exposed skin. “j-just give me a sec, need a moment”, you murmured avoiding eye contact, suddenly shy at the fact that you were just lying there with kuroo balls deep inside you.

sensing your mood shift, the tall male grinned his cheshire-grin at you and teasingly remarked: “why? am i too big for you, huh?”, hoping it’d make you laugh and relax a bit, soon realizing that the idea completely back-fired on him.

as you started to laugh at his arrogant remark, hitting his abs slightly and telling him to shut up, your core clenched in-sync with your laughter, making you freeze at the sudden loud, almost pornographic moan escaping tetsurou’s lips.

looking up at him, you finally realized how much he was holding back as to not hurt you or make you uncomfortable. the handsome boys’ wild hair was already sticking to the sweat forming on his forehead, his jaw clenched painfully, nostrils flaring, eyebrows furrowed, biceps bulging with how hard he was gripping the sheets beside your hips to restrain himself. the thought of him wanting to fuck you so bad but holding back for your pleasure and well-being, was enough to make you clench down on him again, rolling your hips up against his and declaring: “’m ready, tetsu'. please, f-fuck me”.

with your words and the grinding of your hips, kuroo really couldn’t hold back the little stutter his hips did against yours but fuck, was he embarrassed by it. he felt like a teenager, touching real boobs for the first time all over again, knowing he wouldn’t last long. not with how long he had fantasized about this and with how you reacted to his every move and touch, squeezing him so tight, he felt like he wouldn’t even be able to move.

“’m gonna break you”, and with those final words, his large, veiny hands gripped your hips in a bruising, vice grip, pulling out so only his tip was inside your messy, drooling cunt, before snapping right back in, making you choke on your breath at the impact.

as much as kuroo wanted to bust inside you right then and there, the strong urge to see you lose yourself on his cock while he ruined every other man for you was much more prominent. so, the ex-captain rutted in your pussy like his life depended on it, wanting your moans and mewls and whines to never stop. there was so much that was running through his head while being empty at the same time. the only thought was to bring you both to earth-shattering orgasms, but he also wanted to spit in your mouth, choke you, spank your thighs and ass till you wouldn’t be able to sit tomorrow. he wanted to come on your thighs, your tits, face, but he also wanted to breed you.

you two were definitely way too young for children but he couldn’t get the mental image of you, stuffed with his cum with it running down your legs out of his mind, only making it harder for him not to cum immediately.

but you weren’t doing better either. the pace that kuroo was fucking you at, had you seeing stars, riding you up higher on the bed with every thrust and your eyes rolling to the back of your head. you gripped the sheets, his hands, his forearms, your breasts, anything, to try to stabilize yourself as you approached your high embarrassingly fast without your clit even being touched.

just as the thought crossed your mind, you felt tetsus’ calloused fingertips, from years of playing volleyball, circle your clit, causing you to throw your head back with your lips open in a silent scream.

“fuck, you’re so fucking tight kitten, so much better than i ever imagined. cum for me, wanna feel you cream on my fat cock, wanna see you lose your mind baby, give it to me”. at this point, he basically started rambling on about how hot and tight you were, how he wanted you to cum around his cock so badly, how you were gonna make him cum so hard, how you were making such a mess for him, what a good girl you were.

just as you felt yourself almost falling over the edge at the added stimulus to your clit and the filthy praises that were coming out of his mouth, you yanked the boy down by his arm, wrapping your arms around him firmly and kissing him so hard, you were sure you both would have bruised lips later.

with the new position and the intimacy of being pressed up against each other, one more thrust, and you were gone. cumming around his cock so hard, you couldn’t remember the last time someone made you cum that hard, if ever.

the pornographic moans of his name along with some ‘fuck’s and ‘so good’s, the jerking of your body against his and the vice-grip of your pussy on his dick as you came. it was all too much for the poor boy who didn’t even cum once the whole time, while you already had three orgasms under your belt. the last straw was your quiet, little ‘cum inside tetsu', want you to fill me up’ and so, a few short, sloppy thrusts later, kuroo buried his face in your neck, groaning loudly as he came inside, spurting hot, white cum against your abused walls.

the feeling of being filled up to the hilt by kuroo tetsurou was intoxicating. you whined, wrapping your legs around his hips, caging him in so he couldn’t pull out, not wanting the moment to end.

you both lied there, trying to catch your breath. as he pulled out after a few moments and got up to go grab a towel to clean you up, your hand caught his. “don’t go, where are you going?”, you whined needily, wanting to cuddle, to worn-out to care about the mess gushing out of your hole onto the bed sheets.

chuckling, the tall boy leaned down, kissing your forehead: “’m not going anywhere angel, I’m just gonna grab a towel and clean you up”. with that he retreated to the bathroom in search of a towel to use.

you, on the other hand, suddenly sobered up from your drunk-on-lust high at the pet name, making you realize what you just did. fuck, you just banged alisa’s ex-boyfriend. they weren’t even broken off for that long and you already betrayed her.

feeling like a bad friend and complete whore, you didn’t even register said ex-boyfriend was back, making you flinch at the sudden contact of your sensitive pussy with the wet, rough towel.

“relax baby, it’s just me”, he teasingly chuckled, while cleaning you up. when he didn’t hear you chuckle or bite back at his teasing, his expression morphed into a frown, lifting his gaze from your core to your face. “what’s wrong?”

“nothing, thanks.” but of course, you were lying. the panic that slowly settled in your chest was threatening to suffocate you. hell, you weren’t even able to look at him properly.

you felt kuroo grab your chin with his fingers gently, turning your head so you had to look at him. tetsurou was completely serious, he only hoped you weren’t regretting what just transpired between you two, as he repeated: “what’s. wrong?”, emphasizing those two words so you knew there was no point in lying.

feeling your eyes water up, you cursed yourself for showing weakness, since you weren’t one to cry often, especially in front of other people. “what are we going to tell alisa?”

that caught him off guard. “alisa?”, he repeated questioningly, as if he didn’t know what you meant. how could he not know? was he that stupid?

you sat up, rubbing at your eyes frantically with the rising anger inside your chest. “yeah, alisa. your ex. the one that’s like a sister to me. how am I supposed to look her in the eyes after what we just did?”

kuroo wasn’t stupid. you could vouch for that any day. you saw him in your lecture, and you had studied a lot with him, but right now, you were sure he was the dumbest person you ever knew, even beating lev. because even after explaining, he still only looked at you with a confused gaze, saying: “i don’t quite follow?”

groaning, you ran your hands through your hair in frustration, declaring: “you’re really smart, but you’re being so fucking dumb right now. how the fuck am I supposed to talk to one of my closest friends after I fucked her ex-boyfriend, who she loved by the way, not even that long after they broke up?”

finally, it clicked in kuroo’s brain. but the last thing you expected, was to hear him laugh. your head snapped up at the sound, glaring at him you almost growled: “what the fuck’s so funny, you fucking bedhead?”

“oh wow, throwing in the insults huh?”, he said between chuckles. “it’s funny because alisa was the one who encouraged me to come here tonight, though I don’t think she wanted us to outright fuck but, you know.”

what now?

“what do you mean she encouraged you to come here?”, you interrogated perplexed. suddenly he was acting all shy and sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck with his big hand, avoiding your eyes.

“well… we’re still friends, so we were talking about our lectures a week ago and she suddenly mentioned how you also were a fan of 'pride and rejudice'. i just… got kinda excited at that, since alisa wasn’t really interested in things like that, so i started asking her about it. she then called me out on my crush on you, saying she already knows why i was so distracted the weeks leading up to our break-up, thinking about you.”

while listening, your anger slowly morphed into nervousness at kuroo openly admitting he also had a crush on you, but you wanted him to finish his story before addressing the elephant in the room.

“i apologized immediately, thinking she was angry at me, but you know her. she was so sweet, saying she would only be happier if it worked out between us. after, she tried to set us up to talk to each other, but you avoided me like the plague, so she told me to come here before the party since you were running late, to confront you and settle it once and for all but uh…”, he sheepishly smiled, “i kinda got distracted when you opened the door in only a towel, so… that didn’t go as planned.”

sitting with your mouth agape in a ‘o’, your brain tried to process all the information, not knowing what to say to his confession and explanation.

“soooo… she’s not gonna hate me and cancel our friendship?”, you carefully pressed, just to be sure. “no, I don’t think she will”, he chortled.

“oh.”

with that, the room was suddenly extremely silent, making you and kuroo even more nervous. clearing his throat, he couldn’t take the silence anymore. “are you gonna give me an answer to my confession, or am I like, totally embarrassing myself right now?”

“uh, no, yeah”, you softly giggled at his obvious anxiousness. taking his face between your hands, you looked right into his hazel eyes in the dim lighting, before gently smiling at him.

“i like you too, nerd.”

bonus:

the next morning, you woke up to your phone aggressively vibrating on your nightstand beside your bed. you blindly reached out, picking up the call without even opening your eyes, clearly still half-asleep.

“hello?”, you groggily asked your caller, wondering who the fuck was calling you this early, when lev’s voice filled your ear. “y/n? hey, we we’re worried about you yesterday. why didn’t you show up? it was so much fun”, the big, over-grown baby whined.

looking down at the reason you weren’t able to attend the party sleeping soundly with his head on your chest, you smiled, carding your fingers softly through his raven-black hair.

“just… reasons”.

750 notes · View notes