#why is it spicy

[d1sc0-1nfern0]

Nothing can prepare you for the realization that you’ve dated 3 people and yet have never experienced genuine romantic attraction.

[necrofuturism]

noooooooooo mr space marine don't lick the drukhari venom blade!!!

where did he even get that

[bloodycyrano]

Hello and welcome to my detailed descriptions of what I assume things in the Dragon Age universe taste like! Part one of probably many, and feel free to comment requests of even the most unhinged items. I have an oral fixation and chewing problem, so chances are that I would find out anyway if I were living in Thedas.

I'll start out with the basics!

Elfroot;

Herby and slightly bitter. There would be a sort of richness and iron-y taste, similar to that of spinach, but likely much softer. I'd also wager that there's a slightly minty tingle or freshness as well.- When brewed into a tea, health potion, or tincture, it would likely deepen the bitter taste and bring out the tingling. Like angry, unsweetened mint tea and spinach water.

Deep Mushroom;

Probably a bit like woodear mushrooms or Morels. Earthy, fluffy, and ever so slightly mineral enriched. Some might complain that it tastes like dirt, but that's probably because they aren't washing their foragables well enough. Still, there's a slightly musty taste to it, for lack of a better word; but velvet certainly comes to mind when eating it. Regardless, you're sure to get a burst of energy after eating.

*Blue* Lyrium powder;

I wanna eat this shit so bad, I wish I was kidding. It's a very fine, sparkly blue powder that looks ever so slightly crunchy. What's not to love? I would attempt to eat a fistful of this and probably die. Regardless, I feel like it would taste sort of.. Lightning-y. Like a rich mineral, for sure. But also sort of like sparkling water or TV static. It would feel warm and fuzzy in the mouth, like when you're trying to plug your charger into an outlet in a dark room and accidentally shock the shit out of yourself because you can't see what you're doing. I feel like lyrium potions would taste very similar, but diluted and maybe slightly sweet.

[linnorabeifong]

alright yall a certain someone told me to share my horrid idea… so @dont-blame-it-on-the-kids mentioned their headcanon that fire benders run a little warm. So i now present to you the real reason Makorra broke up

Korra after giving Mako head

[interstellarleap]

Made this for a contest on Instagram

[ladymirdan]

Honestly you talking about spicy hot dogs reminded me that we have a Fiery Foods Festival that may be the most Slaaneshi party I’ve ever been to, more so than even the Chocolate and Coffee fest. The screams are what seal the deal.

Spicy foods 100% belongs to the reamls of Slaanesh. The more pain, the better.

[aflo]

just ate a tiny green muffin from a tray in the break room and it straight up tastes like oregano

[regularvesuviancitizen]

Dieter is the kinda guy who smokes half a pack of these without even popping the capsule. And when he does it he instantly dies because the mint overwhelms his 1940s German palate

[rambling-robot]

I drank that whiskey WAY too confidently someone please help

[prof-reuniclus]

wasabi is made by putting avocados into the cheap slime you see in the toys section of the grocery store.

i should clarify that this slime is spicy. source: trial and error

[bloodycyrano]

Hello and welcome to another segment of detailed descriptions of what I think items in the Dragon Age universe would taste like! Feel free to leave requests and suggestions.

Deathroot;

Poisonous, yes. But in theory, you *could* taste it before your jouney ends, and you have to reload your last save. I like to think it tastes almost like ginger and beets had a baby. Sweet, spicy, earthy, and sort of bitter. In theory, delicious, but the spice and tingle would be a very dead giveaway. I feel like no matter how diluted the poison was, it would just be too strong of a flavor. Sort of like wasabi.

Darkspawn blood;

Thick, black, bitter liquid. Unmistakably metallic, like all blood. But much, much richer and more heinous. I think it probably has a very distinctive scent of coagulation, and has the consistency of tree sap or thick Maple syrup. Glossy, smooth, and viscous. I think there would almost be an aftertaste of a sickeningly sweet flavor that sticks in the back of your throat, uncomfortably. Like aniseed or throat spray.

*Red* lyrium powder;

Much like the blue lyrium powder, I still have the immense desire to try and eat it; but unlike templars, I don't snort any sparkly powder line I'm given. I feel like it would still have a very intense mineral taste, but it would also have a weirdly addicting sweetness and fizz of electricity. It may also have a slightly metallic and bloody aftertaste.

[deityforged]

Whose gonna be the person to introduce soda to Ashmi and watch her giggle and turn to them like “it’s bubbly!”

[wineygoddesss]

Reading smut while donating blood should be an olympic sport. 7/10 couldn’t enjoy properly due to fatigue

[greendo0mine]

Me when I accidentally make the mistake of having chilli sauce with my dumplings before I purge

[remirixjones]

Gordon Ramsay: "And what's this?"

Me: "Chef, this is a taco box mac with blue Taki garnish."

~*Proceeds to win Master Chef*~

[riddlememyrazzledazzle]

I’m such a fake Latino, my pasta has something a little stronger than black pepper and my nose is running and my water cups been refilled twice 💀💀💀