#why is every show from early 2000's so gay?

[popculturebuffet]

Batman: No Man's Land Retrospective Part 1: Cataclysm

Hello all you happy people. This project's been brewing for a while now and i'm so happy to finally get to dive into it. For the next two years, i'm taking a look at one of the biggest and most influental batman stories ever. This is a story that's been adapted four times, introduced a batgirl, a story massive in scope that gives batman a problem that no amount of money, no amount of punching and no amount of batarangs can solve.

No Man's Land follows Gotham after it's utterly destroyed by a massive earthquake and the goverment "shockingly" decides rather than repair the crime pit, to let it burn and let anyone who can't afford to move or dosen't want to leave to fend for themselves. It puts Batman in his darkest hour: he failed his city, and now he and his allies have to find some way to save it. It's a massive story that i'll be reading as we go, reading each volume before I cover it. I know some spoilers, the story's 27 years old and a lot of it impacts later bat stories and i've read it's direct sequel new gotham, but as for the fine details and how things evolve.. that i'll be figuring out just before you do.

Before we get to the government abadoning Gotham like it'd later do with Riverdale, we have to get to the why: the massive and excellent event cataclysm. Yes there's an event that leads into the event.

Cataclysm is intresting in that while super villians do show up, this is gotham after all, their not the main threat. The main threat.. is simply a massive earth quake that most of gotham was warned about, but only Bruce took seriously. And even then.. i'ts not enough: While Bruce's holdings and headquarters are saved, most of gotham is totaled and the bat himself is left in the one building he couldn't quakeproof: his home. Our heroes are left desperatley trying to help or play catchup as the world falls apart and even as they try to save everyone they can the truth hangs ominously over them: Gotham.. may not be able to come back from this. So join me won't you for an epic unlike any other, a story of dread, hope, and quakemasters, this is Batman Cataclysm

We begin with Detective Comics and a prelude issue. As is standard for an event this size we're going to be jumping around a LOT of books today, along with three one shots. Every book in the bat family is touched and a ton of major bat writers left their mark on this one.

Unfortunately the one who does the most.. is Chuck Dixon

So for those less familiar Chuck Dixon is one of the biggest batman writers ever: He wrote Robin and Nightwing and defined Tim Drake and Dick Grayson as a result. His run on Nightwing is why I became a massive fan of the character and why I tend to prefer bat family books to the bat himself.

He's also a huge asshole. Absolutely giant in the industry of being a dick. I'd like to thank @brotoman-exe for the background here as while I knew Chuck Dixon was a conservative prick, he gave me some helpful info to explain why he became the bitter lemon he is now.

So Chuck as you can tell was a big writer: he wrote most of batman after all. He then got blackballed from the big 2 in the early 2000's. From his perspective, it was for being conservative and he went full right wing asshole before it was cool. In reality.. it seemed he was just a dick. He had a weird tirade about a tounge in cheek Marvel MAX, their mature leaders line, series about the rawhide kid that recast him as a macho camp gay man, and made the bold assumption the writer of the book, a vetran artist, was tricked into it. He sunk his own career and blamed the woke media for it. He bounced around in other companies, as early IDW apparently was fine with his bullshit, but eventually he ran out of options and ... well he made this

Yes that is Chuck Dixon, batman and gi joe writer making an off brand gi joe comic about Q from Qanon. I swear to god this is not something I made up. This.. this happened. You can even buy it on amazon

Look is it fun to dunk on Chuck Dixon making a comic about the quannon conspiracy starring the titular q as an action hero. yes. I mean I could do it all day. But my larger point is that Chuck Dixon sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms, is an objectively bad man. Not sex offender bad, but while the bar for being shitty in comics is high, it's not so high that "being mad a character was made gay and making action hero comics about an active and dangerous conspiracy" dosen't rate.

So I have the unfortunate duty of being objective about his work here. I do not like this man, but he was an objectively good writer. It does not, as he seems to thinnk, excuse him from being a piece of shit. I simply can't avoid talking about him as of the 7 batman titles at the time, he wrote three of them: The afformentioned Nightwing and Robin, along with detective comics.

Since I need to wash the taste out of my mouth and this will be easier than mentoining every writer as they come up, let's meet the rest of our writers room who as far as I know haven't written qanon: the continuing adventures. I wonder if the villian is joe biden as cobra commander. Perhaps bill clinton. Clinton Commander.

Writing the flagship Batman comic is Doug Monech, one of many longtime batman writers on this project. He wrote some in the 80's and what i've read of his run, which has sadly been undercollected or only half collected in the case of one collection I have as he wrote both detective comics and batman up to crisis on infinite earths, is excellent. Well done stuff that helps build up batman's world and his relationship with jason todd. I prefer post crisis jason, but he still does a good job with batman's struggle to let the kid in. He's also the one responsible for blessing the world with Harvey Bullock.

For Shadow of the Bat we have consumate Weirdo Alan Grant, a british writer who afraid to ask "You want nuts. Well let's get nuts". His stories i've read are decent and kind of weird, and fittingly he created my faviorite Batman Villian, Scarface, aka the puppet what bullies his owner/other personality. Grants work here is impecable, as is everyones even ass face and made me want to check out more of his 90's shadow of the bat run. He's got a weird poetic style to him.

For our spinoffs we have batman legend Dennis O'Neil, who with Neil Adams redefined the character. he was also editor and wrote large chunks of other bat mega crossover knightfall. He's awesome and I miss him dearly.

Finally we have Devin Grayson who wrote Catwoman and does a decent job with it. She's the only one besides Chuck Q Dixon to have a bit of infamy though rather than be for being a raging asshole, she simply wrote something what bad. She followed him up on nightwing and while the better person, decided to have Nightwing join the mob for a while, and had him get assaulted by fellow vigilante the tarantula and said assault not treated lik ea big deal because a woman did it.

She's fine here but it's hard not to think about that run so bad I refuse to ever touch it when bringing her up.

So with our writers room assembled let's talk about the issue. It's a fun one off as I said: a criminal brags to his buddies about beating up batman. It's also here where a fairly stupid choice by dc edtorial comes up: At the time batman was to be considered an urban legend by gotham. It's a period I mostly remember for getting mocked in the pages of young justice as Peter David has never met a stupid decision he couldn't take the piss out of and Linkara doing the same in his march of the titans retropsecitve.

Since this does come up with several citzens proclaming batman dosen't exist, I... have to dive into all the ways this is nonsense. So here we go: batman has been on at least three superhero teams, none retconned out by crisis on infinite earths; he was on the justice league of america, left tha tgroup to found the outsiders after political red tape prevented him from going on a rescue mission, and after leaving them rejoined the league as it's leader for the justice league international era. He left soon after to keep his profile low.. but waas still seen on news interviews and coverage and was still publicly on the roster for some time. And by this point he's REJOINED the JLA and was part of them thwarting an alien invasion, an invasion of angels and other very public disasters. On top of that his former sidekick Nightwing was famously part of the Teen Titans as robin, leading two incarnations up to this point. The New Teen Titans in paticular were a very public group, famous in new york and most notably saving the world from Trigon and getting a giant ass parade for it. He also operates as Bludhaven's hero at the time of this book and unlike batman isn't nearly as stealthy.

On top of this the Joker has been a very public meance, killing dozens, fighting the justicfe league a few times, fighting batman in a bi plane at new years and most notably after killing Jason Todd, he became ambassador to iran

The point of this long detour is that it makes zero sense that batman is seen as a "legend" at this point who "dosen't exist". While he does stick to the shadows and is defintely the most standoffish of the justice league any time he's a member, there's enough public tracks to make him being some sort of mythical figure laughable. I try not to be this pedantic in a comics review, writers slip up, canonical mistakes happen. Even now when you can google things. But this isn't a simple mistake this is a weird status quo shift that made things awkward for other books for no real reason. Batman's already feared as a larger than life figure. Just because crooks know he exists dosen't make him less terrifying or them less prone to exagerate.

Thankfully the bulk of attitude , at least for now, from most of the writers was

Most of it is lip service with only two big moments, this one and the other where it's relevant to the plot. Most of gotham tends to know batman and co are out there.

Okay now we can FINALLY get to the issue which again is fun: the criminal embellishes the hell out of the story and we see both his inflated version where it's an ocean's elven style heist and where he goes to to toe with batman.. and the reality: his crew was whoever he could get, he got the info from being a janitor, the heist went sideways fast and both batman nad robin tore his ass up. This is confirmed to his friends when batman swoops over and scares the shit out of the guy. A fun simple story.

The real meat though is in the ending: We meet Jolene Relazzo a character introduced just for this storyline for two reasons: to set it up and to serve as a plot point for the ongoing arc. She's a seismologist, one who warned Bruce Wayne about an inevitble disaster years ago: Gotham is on a fault line and while it hasn't had a quake in living memory, i'ts due and should. Given who she was talking to, Bruce set to work: as the issues after this reveal Bruce quakeproofed every wayne holding except the manor, and fired his board of directors when they all said it was too expensive. Is this a lot to just. .have on exposition? yes. But it shockingly works: I didn't realize Jolene debuted here till I looked it up as she feels like a natural fit: Bruce isn't stupid. He's batman. He prepares for shit. So it makes sense he knows a decent amount of scientests. As Homer Simpson will tell you bruce is one, but while he's a master of a lot of things, he specializes in forensics. He's not a super genius, and thus him listening to experts makes sense. And given his preparedness it makes sense his first action would be "quakeproof my shit". And given the cost he does so for the reasons he does anything: it's the right thing to do. It saves him money sure, but as we'll find out some of these holdings are apartments or hotels. Innocent people could get hurt. employees could get hurt. Bruce could never allow that if he can help it. And as the quake arrives.. Jolene can't reach bruce whose in his cave.

To the writers credit, paticuarlly alan grant who writes the explination there's a simple reason for why Bruce coudln't quakeproof the manor: the batcave. he coudln't risk someone finding out about it. As for "Why didn't he ask steel or another super hero to do it", Clark and Wally could probably speed read the info and john henry is a former construction worker, so it's possible .. but it'd draw too much attention. I'll see how plausable it is as we go as to why the rest of the league stays out, i'm betting not so much but here.. I get it. It's way too many questions to easily answer and might upset unions in town. Batman simply COUDLN'T get the mansion quakerpoofed. Now the fact he had no plans for if the quake happens is a little stretch.. but Batman has to plan for a lot. He probably thought he'd get forwarned or the cave would hold.

It does not. The mansion collapses bringing alfred down to the cave, trapping bruce and leaving Bruce's home gone> it's a truly shattering scene and well done by alan grant, underlying just how sudden this is: like any disaster it just htis and in a second everythings gone. Batman does wiggles his way out and trie sto go for the car or one of the exits but everything collapses. He's truly trapped.

Meanwhile Harvey Bullock was tailing a local criminal bamed "Billy Wildman" but the quake happens. He's forced to team up with Anarky, who as the name gives away is an angsty teen who dressed like an adult. They work together as Bullock quickly realizes he needs the help to help civilians. And that's the big part here: most of the hero work done.. is search and rescule. Batman's not above that and has saved many a person but their usually hostages or kidnap victims. This is the kind of emergency work brave first responders do every day and that while batman will do in a pinch is outside his element.. but he and the other heroes of gotham do. Anarky is a street punk.. but gladly helps.

Finally we have Barbra Gordon, at this point oracle, batman's eyes and ears who after being shot by the joker traded in her batgirl suit for being a computer genius and tech whiz for any hero who needs it, mostly the bat family. Her own Clock Tower base was shaken but is otherwise fine. Naturally it was one of bruce's quake proofings and Barbra presumably bought it from him. She goes to see what's going on but sees the situation as it is.. and takes command. While she takes a second to let her terror at what could've happened to her love ones out, she instantly takes charge of the police she finds, convincing them not to go fleeing for their loved ones; She's sympathetic: her boyfriend, dad, stepmom and batdad are all out there, but they need to help those who need it. So she gets what resources they have and gets to work. It's one of my faviorite scenes in this event: When crisis hits, Barbra is the first to respond and the first to make a dent in the nightmare Gotham is facing.

Batman is having less luck on his end. He does manage to pull a spider man, escaping the wreckage.. albeit instead of just with pure will expert timing. He reunites with Alfred.. but there's no exit. Their truly trapped. The only way out is a bunch of underwater currents Batman never mapped. And I do like this: yes you could say "this is the same man who quakeproofed a city, why didn't he map these tunnels or have an exit" And the simple answer given and one I accept.. is that he never got around to it. Batman has backup plans for his backup plans.. but I like this batman who simply, as a human does, lets things slip. The Quakeproofing was easier: It was an imminent threat, and something he could deligate. Batman really NEVER deligates batman stuff and until recently didn't have any full time staff for the cave itself. If somethings low priority like say exits on the offchance the quake does hit and he's inside or mapping the cave systems he'll ignore it. Batman's a workaholic with control issues: the only things bruce deligates in costume are the stuff Alfred and Barbra are better at, cleaning the house, cleaning wounds, and doing computer stuff. It makes sense SOMETHING would give.

So with no other option he plans to surface and if it exposes him so be it: there's no second guessing, no other option: he's going to save his dad. And as he dives.. he gets hit with an aftershock.

So while batman might be batdead in this 7 part event that has his name, let's check in on the rest of gotham. The first tie in was earlier and in the pages of Nightwing. It's an excellent tie in as Dick hears about the quake during his night shift at the bar he works at, working at a cop bar to get info.

At this point Nightwing is the hero of Bludhaven, which is gotham but worse. Which yes is possible. Less super crime at first, but more street crime. It's everything gotham was pre batman and our hero fights with no real allies and only the right thing on his side. Still he books it the second he finds out what's happening and TRIES to find Barbra and Bruce... but being the hero he is dick gets sidetrack, finding people in distress and putting himself at great risk to save every last person, including a mom who gets her daughter out but nearly dies. It's a heartwrenching issue as you follow these people from the start, and see just how far Dick will go. It's one of the big pulls i've mentioned of cataclsym: Seeing our heroes against impossible odds they normally don't face this way.

As Dick heads off to go find his dad and girlfriend, well sorta girlfriend I forgot it's more of a situationship at this point and we'll get to the actual hookup in this very crossover, but that's for later.

For now we check in on another hero: Azrael. For those less aware, Azreal was the center of one of batman's biggest events and one I might cover someday: Knightfall. To make a very long story short after loosing his first bout with Batman, super genius and roidy mcgoo Bane studied his foe, then released every villian in arkham and blackgate, arkham for the criminally sane, and let batman wear himself out. Then Bane broke into his house, broke his shit and then broke his back, and rather than choose his actual son, Batman choose Jean Paul Valley, a 20 something who he'd resecued from a cult. This.. didn't go well as Jean still hasn't fully got the cult out of his system and went all grimdark and 90's and didn't hand the mantle back when Bruce was better. Bruce kicked his ass, but still let Jean Paul operate once he was deprogrammed.

So JP is currently taking Bane back to the arms of Saran Essen and.. some other guy. Sarah is comissioner Gordon's wife and Barbra's step mom. With him is Nomoz who I had to google as.. he's an actual troll. He was in the same cult Jean Paul was and why he put on costume again but eventuallys witched sides. I think he's neat. It's just.. neat to have an actual troll in the middle of this pretty grounded story. Well grounded for a former cult member fighting a luchador pumped up on steroids.

Bane escapes and a chase insues, but Bane wants Jean Paul to rule with him as "we're not so diffrent you and me' Jean defies him and that's that for now. He just.. kinda vanishes for the rest of this part of the crossover. All it does is explain where Sara was. It's a solid issue and I like this kind of detour: seeing how the rest of the batfamily handled the quake and it's a neat way to weave it into what was going on with Azreal at the time.

Back at the main plot, barbra gets some good news as when Bullock gets back, he decides to go look for her dad when he finds out no one's been sent as what people they have are busy putting out fires in both senses as gas manes have exploded. But her quiet relief when Bullock goes says a lot as does his saving Jim. Babs and Jim's reuinon is also touching.. he tells her to keep working, as it's important.. but is VERY proud of her.

The next issue covers batman's underwater adventure, as he tensely navigates currents. While he's doing that, we get one of my faviorite plots as we follow the Huntress, who had the misfortune.

Huntress is another vigilante in gotham.. and one of the few not given the okay by Batman. She was the daughter of a mob family that got wiped out in front of her eyes and grew up to become both a dedicated teacher and a hunter. The problem is Helena will ABSOLUTELY go for the kill at this point in her life and Batman has a thing about that. Maybe you've heard. And look I can get tired of Batman's "YOU CAN'T OPERATE IN MY CITY WITHOUT MY SAY SO"

Shtick. It's mostly for Stephanie Brown, who we'll get to. But this is a plot i get and like: Helena wants to do the one thing Bruce just CAN'T allow. He can't have a killer in his city claming to do what he does.

This event adds a wrinkle to it though: how justified is his no kill code when there's no prison to take the villians to? When things are hardest how can he possibly justify this? The answer is that he has to, that it's who he is... but does EVERYONE have to stick to it?

In this case Huntress has to help a bunch of people on the same subway car, complicated by some asshole with a gun taking hostages not knowing how bad it is. She manages to rescue his hostage and save the day.. but an aftershock leaves the guy pinned. And she.. leaves him. In the clutch.. she can't hold up to some code she dosen't belivie in. I belivie in it, I get why bruce does, it's a good code.. but where's the line? It's a fascinating thing to dive into... why should Helena keep this up when things are this bad and one more criminal is not going to black gate, but is going to make things so much worse.

The answer of course is just becaue things are hard don't make it right, but I love this situation pushing that. While i'm in the court of heroes not killing unless it's absolutely necessary, I like testing them. Helena falling into it first makes sense but i'm curious as this goes how far batman can be pushed by the horrors that await.

Speaking of the Bat he emerges in teh bay.. and screams in horror, letting out a big no as he sees the full situation: his city is dying, on fire, torn to pieces, the skyline gone.. and there's little he can do.

Now for another interlude and a fantastic one. Catwoman was just casually robbing a department store for the thrill of it. She could just buy goggles but admits in narration ther'es just something about gotham.. something wild that makes someone want to do crazy shit. She loves this stupid city.

The quake hits and no one has any idea what's going on.. but Selina helps. it's a great show of her character: Yes she's a thief and this is long before her protector of those who society forgot schtick I love so much.. but she's a good person. She'll steal shit.. but she'll also help, guiding a group of survivors through the wreckage. She does try to bolt.. but when she sees her city torn to shit... she doubles back and helps and then goes and helps who she can. Despite her protestations... she can't help but to help either.

We then get Robin's tie in.. which is only a few pages long. Yeah Robin was overseas, throwing hands with a dictatorship apparently and at the tail end of this arc returns home.. just as shit gets real. Robin at this poitn is Tim Drake, the third robin and one of the best. Tim was made a contrast to the previous two robins: He wasn't an orphan, he has a family that apparently live right next to Batman at this point, and he leans more into the detective side having figured out who Batman and Nightwing were and urging Nightwing to become robin again in the wake of Jason Todd's death at the hands of Ambassador Joker.

So onto the next chapter, a one shot Blackgate: Isle of Man. We follow a death row inmate Jared Manx whose execution gets delayed.. by act of god. Jared says he's innocent, that he didn't do what he did and despite every attempt was still going to get the chair. He protects his lawyer and a nun brought ot comfort him as things go pair shaped and a riot breaks out with many a criminal escaping, including KGBeast, exactly what that sounds like, who kills whoever's in his way. It's a well done issue especially since it marks Batman's come back. Hearing what's going on Batman SWIMS OUT TO BLACK GATE despite everything he's just been through, and quickly goes john mclane on their asses when he gets there. A few do escape and we'll catch up with them later, but batman's able to help the police helicopters land and clean house. Sadly.. jared does not make it. He sacrices himeslf to save his companions and claims "actually I did do it". And I like the ambiguity left: was he lying the whole time or, and this is what i go with, was he just lying to save innocent people. He died.. but he got to go out on his terms saving innocnet people and wether he's a murderer or not.. he won't be forgotten for that.

Back to the bat proper and the next issue is another banger as Batman grapples with just how hopless it feels... he can stop criminals but.. this is something else. Alan Grant does a damn good job as he waxes poetic about the devistation and how batman feels.. and how he presses on anyway. Saving who he can. He does realize he can only do so much, and thus goes for help: From the Penguin. At this point Penguin's settled into his modern role as a fixer who keeps his hands clean and more brokers crimes and has his men do them than actually get arrested again or try and use a penguin blimp to blow up the Gotham mint or some such. Batman gives him an ultimatum: don't fucking loot, instead help whoever he can since he has the resources to. Given the circumstances batman has nothing to bribe Pengy with... but he can still do threats okay. If Penguin loots Batman WILL come for his ass when thigns are done and will not stop making his life hell. And since he became a shady mobster to avoid that Penguin agrees. His men would be shot on sight anyway and the faster things get closer to normal the better.

We catch up with Tim who can't get back into the city: Roads are blocked and while most would be fine with just having to lodge in Bludhaven, showing you just how bad things have gotten when that's the GOOD option, Tim has no time for that and steals a motorcycle leaving an iou and tearing it up to get back to the city.

Jolene is having a less rad time, as while her building is safe she wants to get to bruce to help.. and instead gets kidnapped by some shady crooks. and "coincidentally" right after things get worse as a mysterious villian calling himself the Quakemaster, real missed oppertunity to call himself the aftershockmaster but whatever, sends a message to the police and a tape to the media: He caused this, and he'll destroy what's left unless he gets his ransom.

We take a break from this newly introduced baddie who will surely last longer than the length of this review for an anthology issue. Batman Chronciles is a batman series I was unaware existed before reading this trade, a quarterly book to help add extra stories. This issues stories really hone in on this event's strengths that while , as always batman is the center, we get a lot of what the rest of gotham is going through, boots on the ground as everyday civilians and other vigilantes deal with this nightmare.

Our first story is the contract, an okay tale that features a kid who belivies in batman. You know batman leader of batman and the outsiders , the justice league, the league of international heroes. That mytholgical figure. It does have a fun twist on the kid waiting for batman to save them: he dosen't.. but a bunch of criminals contracted to do.. contracted by Bruce Wayne. It's a brilliant twist in an otherwise okay story.

The rest are all shorter tails either spotlighting various victims or setting up things to come: Ras Ah Ghul gloats in his evil lair that batman's lost the city.. and he will finally have him as his heir forgetting the no murder thing. The Penguin saves people... but only those he finds useful and only for a favor down the line. A man tragically calls out and is trapped... and is not found, robin finding someone else instead. Two Face's henchman plan to turn him in for reward money. It goes as well as you'd expect. And a little boy waits , having lost his parents.. but finds Dr Leslie Thompkins, who once again comforts a young orphan.

Onto Nightwing. Dick finally makes his way to the clocktower, where Barbra has returned to help cordinate things. The two are relived and as usual are adorable together. Before things can get a bit more serious Tim shows up to kill the mood. Babs is at least still happy to see him as, to my shock, they hadn't met before this. Neat little moment.. that becomes less neat when all involved realize NONE of them have heard from bruce.

Bruce himself is busy in a new identity: Detective Hawke. I love the look as Jim is naturally suspcious of a random officer showing up, the last thing he needs is a supervillian attack fucking now... until it hits him. He's been through so much and i'ts only getting worse so it's likely a huge relief to find that batman is back and doing all he can.

As Batman saves lives the rest of his team look for him.. but find the giant cratered manor, utterly horrifed. While it's not mentioned on text, the art does a good job showing how devistated dick is.. he's trying to hold it in but it's clear seeing his home for some long gone .. it's a lot. He goes in to check on the cave and Alfred, while Tim goes to check on his dad, who hugs him tight, a sweet moment and one of the few bits of hope we've gotten so far.

Dick finds more as Alfred is fine along with Harold, who came in with some digging equipment giving the two an exit now they have help. Harold is batman's mute tech man, forced into working for the penguin till Batman rescued him and gave him a home in his creepy basement. I mean granted who dosen't want to live near a giant robot dinosaur that was used to hunt men for sport?

The next issue deals with quakemaster; The police have doubts about his claims.. but are going to give him the money in case as there's no way in hell they can survive another quake. Batman does his thing investigating, going to find Joelne Relazzo... and finding she was kidnapped. Since Bruce is a distrustful batstard, he does check to make sure she's not a villian.. but isn't and comes to the correct conclusion: the quakemaster kidnapped her for her knowhow to make himself seem more credible.

Batman relays with Gordon and the two try to trap quakemaster.. but like any good villian he sent henchman to collect the money. They have no idea who the guy is and our heroes have no real leads.

So Batman goes back to the cave and brushes off his son and sidekick who were worried he might you know be dead, or lost. Same with his father. I get tensions are high but even for Batman this is a dick move. It's about an 8.. not quite "slapping robin in the face" or "war games" , a comfortable quiet or papa spank.

Batman does put together that Quakemaster is lying

The facts he has are all wrong.. which Batman reads as a clue. Jolene is feeding him bullshit to make it clear no one's in any danger. He still worries for HER, as kidnapped scientest is not a long lived profession.

Time for another side story, and this one is one of my faviorites. Sadly another Chuck Dixon joint but hey. This follows Huntress again this time with Spoiler

Stephanie Brown is the daughter of Cluemaster, aka tenmu riddler . When she found out what her dad was, she became Spoiler, determind to "spoil" his crimes by tipping off Robin. She soon became attracted to him and at this point is currently operating but only when he lets her as Batman is not a fan because "I DIDN'T TRAIN HER AND I'M NOT GOING TO YET BECAUSE BLURRRRRRRRRR". As you can probably guess by now I hate this look for batman. For chuck it was probably "Well it's his city of course he am the god he am the god". For me i'ts being a dick to a teenager who just wants to impress her crush and has a genuine talent for this and making Robin's life harder because shut up. Ther'es a line between "batman dosen't understand people's emotoinal and will often make decisions on pragmantism and not what''s necessarily the emotionally healthyc hoice " and "batman is a giant asshole who wants everyone else to be like him." and this feels like it's crossing it. Maybe it's better in the individual issues I don't know it just feels.. off to have Stephanie HAVE to get the permission of robin or feel like she needs it and I prefer the later her who when given similar dickish paramiters by Barbra when Steph became batgirl, instead just... proved her worng when she could. And Babs gets more of a pass as while she was being a tad condescending this was also after Steph's previous career left her seemingly dead. I put that "death" more on Batman than her, but tha'ts a whole other mess. My point is he had no reason to not take her in then and there, see if she had it then cut her loose like huntress. With Helena i'm more understanding as .. they can't kill people. That's a line they can't cross. I'm understanding in this circumstance, but in regular day.. no. They can't just kill people because their bad people.

It is neat to team the two up though: Steph tries to honor the code while Helena.. does not, but Helena also shows her a bit more repsect.. she's gruff but unlike Robin or Batman dosen't seem to dismiss her. She also relates to having a parent who sucks, as Steph has to confront cluemaster. Cluemaster DOES want to get money to treat Steph's ill mother.. but can't understand why this upsets her. That in the middle of a disaster when at the very least after escape he could've just... fucked off and gone on with his life or helped people.. he STILL chooose to steal money. Steph dosen't let Helena kill.. but still dosen't make it out of the situation cleanly, having once again been fucked up by her dad. It's deeply engaging and while a lot of i'ts probably just being a fan of Stephanie Brown's later apperances as Batgirl, it's still deeply engaging and since Steph was in a mall when the thing happened another nice boots on the ground story.

We'll finish the story in a second but for coherence sake i'm going to save the penultimate chapter of the quakemaster saga to do alongside the finale for Cataclysm as inbetween them are two unrelated side stories that just.. break the flow. Ic an't blame the trade for including them, but instead of moving them after the steph story for better reading their kept when they came out.. wedged inbetween a massive cliffhanger in the Quakemaster plot.

So i'm covering them here. First is catwoman which is.. not a great issue this go round. It should be, it has Catwoman fighting Poison Ivy who plans to retake the city for plants and is written okay, and has a good moment of selena going back to rescue her latest victim she honey trapped.. but it has a LOT of Catwoman slut shaming Ivy. I mean Ivy shouldn't kill and brainwash anyone of any gender, but the framing of it is just.. bleh. I do like Catwoman having to team up with Bullock and Ivy's own spores getting on her face.. and WANTING them to keep growing even if she dies, but this is forgetable and if I read this again, which I likely will, i'll defintely be skipping it over.

The next one's a bigger disapointment: the concept is brilliant: at arkham the power goes out... just as Killer Croc's cage is open so he escapes and Joker convinces him to let him out. He also lets out scarecrow , riddler and two new characters Vox and Witch.. who only show up here despite being given intresting backstories. THey kidnap an unfortunate guard and decide to play a game: whoever tells the best story kills the man.

Unfortunately, the stories are.. eh. Only vox and riddler's stories stick out, vox for her tragiclaly imitating her mom smashing her father in the head with a beer bottle on her brother and the freaky art style and Scarecrow for the fucked up ending where some puppies eat their owners alive. The rest are forgetable. It's a lesser attempt at the BTAS episode "Almost Got Em. The ending, joker delcaring they all one and all of them carving up the poor bastard and leaving him alive but his mind broken, is horrifying.. but the issue is a wasted opprutnity not helped by where it's awkwardly wedged in

So onto our finale: Robin investigates quakemaster as do Renee Montoya and Bullock. The latter two eventually find his hideout while Robin. .figures out who he is. I knew due to the guidebook I mentioned, but it's still a neat way as they give you the clues.. you just don't realize it. Quakemaster tends to do two things: pause mid sentence to rethink his words.. and not use any words with b in them.

While Jolene hopes her clues are getting through, Gordon goes to meet mayor Marion Grange, who seems to be one of Gotham's few competent mayors.. but is tired and pissed having to deal with 80 problems. And she gets an 81st as armed goons burst in to demand the ransom money. She informs them the city.. is broke, another devistating blow but understandable: gotham had two pandemics back to back before this.

As they prepare to kill her the rest of our heroes find quakemaster.. and his hostage, Mackinzie Bock, recurring detective the wiki didn't have much on.

So we come to the end of Cataclysm. Robin.. decides to mock quakemaster, daring him to say his name. Suprisingly this dosen't end in Bock's death, but in Quakemaster loosing his temper and going after our heroes. This allows the detectives to free bock and go fre relazzo whose greatful and gives harvey a kiss on the cheek. Awww.. now she has scabies.

Meanwhile Bock and Robin really rock tonight as they find the Quakemaster... and Arnold Wesker's hand up his ass. Wesker is the vintriloquist, a tragic supervillian and my favorite batman villian alongside his usual partner, Scarface, a chalk white gangster puppet and his other personality. Quakemaster is another of Wesker's personas, forcing him to do this scheme just like scarface.. nad not much else. It's a clever twist and I love the fact that the only super villian to have a major role in this .. was Scarface. The rest were one offs.

The two try to flee but BOck has a clever solution.. he won't shoot wesker.. while the issue is a bit iffy on Robin blaming wesker when he clearly has DID and his alters are the criminals, he doesn't want wesker killed. And neither doe sbock who instead shoots Scarface in the head while poor wesker calls for a medic. It's tragic as it is brilliant. He can't hurt an innocent.. but scarface isn't an innocent.

So with that the day is saved. Nightwing goes to save gordon, Wesker is taken in. Yet.. it's far from a happy ending. As Dick notes.. the city MAY not recover and while batman assures them it will and they at least won... it's very clear gotham.. isn't okay. They saved the day, prevented another disaster.. but like all the victims they've saved.. it's only so much triage. Gotham is bleeding out and there's only so much surgery batman can do before it flatlines.

[just-a-carrot]

I’ve already slid up in your ask box multiple times today but I’m back bc I could genuinely write an entire powerpoint presentation on genzou and orlam’s situationship, the underlying meanings and implications, and the complications that destroyed it immediately and just how TOXIC it was from day ONE god it is genuinely so masterfully written

bc thinking about it from BOTH their perspectives makes me insanely ILL. get ready bro this is a long ass post. (btw this is what I got personally from their relationship, I could be very wrong. Either way, extremely well written)

imagine bro. you are Orlam Dagwud Brewbacher and you have quite literally never been shown an ounce of affection for MOST of your life besides from your mother, who ends up offing herself while you’re still in GRADE SCHOOL.

you are STUCK with a father who beats you, friends who abuse you, and a school who thinks you’re a freak. Along the lines you discover you’re queer, and the ONLY DUDE who can seemingly sympathize with you on that is the MAIN DUDE WHO ABUSES YOU IN THE GROUP.

What I took from it is that in front of the group, Genzou was still abusive towards Orlam, probably to keep up the toxic masculine appearance he wanted to exert in public and to others, but in private was probably much nicer to Orlam, or at least less hostile and a jackass.

So imagine bro, you’re going from this CONSTANT cycle of being abused, discarded, and made fun of by the very same man who shows you a SHRED of kindness as soon as everyone leaves due to his own closeted homosexuality.

And because of that, you develop an unhealthy attachment bc it is the only affection you can get in a world that despises you for absolutely nothing.

As someone who has been in a cycle exactly like that, it is suffocating. It is damaging. It is life ruining. And you know it’s wrong. You know damn well you’re trapped, but you are so starved for any sort of love or kindness or affection you sink this low and attach yourself to someone who can’t even get their own shit in gear.

Then you got Genzou Ichihara who absorbed every ounce of toxic masculinity and toxic values from a man who couldn’t even stick around to take care of him and his mom, and because of that took that out on the easiest target: the guy everyone was already picking on. Orlam.

You are also a young boy grappling with the fact that boys make you feel fuzzy inside, specifically your best friend. You bury that shit down hard. That is not how men are supposed to act. That is not how YOU are supposed to act. (Add the fact that you are BLIND now because you could not keep it together around your male best friend).

Well, it turns out that scrawny little shit you’ve been taking out all your daddy issues on is going through the same shit you are. A connection is formed. Not a healthy one.

I truly think that Genzou to some capacity did have feelings for Orlam, or at the very least cared a lot about him, but due to the way he was raised and what had been instilled into him since as early as he can remember, he would not LET himself do that. And because of that Genzou ran away. So many times.

Yet kept coming back. Because Orlam was seemingly the only one who knew how he felt, and what it was like to deal with this shit.

You have to remember that these guys weren’t growing up in today’s age. Their teenage years were probably during the early 2000’s (I’ve calculated after-prom happening 2004/2005). America was EXTREMELY Republican at this time and homosexuality was still highly condemned. Being openly gay, especially as a teenager, was a death sentence. Both of these boys were ASHAMED of who they were, and queer resources were not as widely available as they are today. All they had was each other.

(I think this is why Orlam in his adulthood flaunts about how many women he gets, but fails to mention men. I think at his core he is still somewhat ashamed of being bisexual, and I don’t think his situationship with Genzou helped that).

My Roman Empire is literally thinking about the after-prom scene. I do think Genzou had a good time dancing with Orlam in that empty classroom. When you’re a queer kid during that time, closeted or not, that’s all you HAVE.

But not being able to let himself HAVE that moment due to his internalized self hatred and homophobia, plus his added feelings towards Iggy. It was too much for him. He ran. Leaving Orlam, a boy who had been abandoned 1000 times before, once again alone.

It’s why the apology scene in Arc 5 is so satisfying and powerful to me. It doesn’t excuse nor fully forgive Genzou of his past actions (because at the end of the day, internal issues or not, he still mentally fucked up someone immensely due to his indecisiveness and not knowing what he wanted), but it is something Genzou should have said this entire time instead of dragging out an abusive relationship well past when it crumbled and driving his victim deeper into anger, self hatred, and guilt

Because genuinely what the fuck else was Orlam supposed to think? Imagine being constantly shat on WAY past the relationship by the man you were (unknowingly) unhealthily in love with, trauma bonded with, and had such a hot and cold relationship with each time you see him. Orlam didn’t know why Genzou ran away from him during what was probably supposed to be a rare, nice moment between them.

But to Orlam it was yet another abandonment, and I think this one hit harder than the last ones. Not since his mother, I assume.

Their relationship imo is precisely why we need open and available queer and abuse resources, especially to children and those attending school. Because this shit was genuinely so preventable if they had been in a more acceptable time period and living in stable homes with stable families. It’s genuinely what is so tragic about these two.

Genuinely so many of their scenes pre-reset are so hard for me to get through because they feel so needlessly cruel. Genzou literally pissed me off so much a good chunk of the game due to how he would treat Orlam vs how he would treat Iggy (especially using Orlam’s own trauma he was FULLY AWARE OF just to make sure Iggy got out safe).

It didn’t seem like a selfless act to me first time playing. It felt cruel. Yaoi goodness aside, it felt so incredibly cruel. Maybe it’s because I see a lot of myself in Orlam, and I’ve been through a lot of the shit he has.

But to be honest, I love that. I love how conflicted I felt about Genzou throughout the whole game. I love how my opinion of him constantly flipflopped because it means he is human. These characters feel human. Genzou and Orlam and everyone in that cast feels human, and Genzou and Orlam’s complicated, tumultuous relationship feels human.

And it genuinely awes me how a FREE GAME ON ITCH.IO WITH NO MERCH could have this level of WRITING and DEPTH, and it genuinely makes me wonder how long you had these guys simmering in the pot for. Because it’s absolutely insane, especially the subtle shit too.

I’m genuinely happy that these two got their good endings in the post-timeline reset. I’m glad they bicker but still begrudgingly care about each other. I’m glad they’re friends and have a pretty normal, although bickery relationship.

Because that’s how it SHOULD’VE BEEN. They both deserved better lives and tbh both were screwed from the start.

DON’T TRAUMABOND DURING BUSH’S PRESIDENCY, KIDS!!!!!!!!!! THAT SHIT WILL NOT END WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aka my new title for their situationship

there is so much shit I didn’t touch on but this shit getting kinda long and just know I think about these two so much and they are so amazingly well written, and it is so refreshing to see actual representation on what unhealthy attachments look like bc I am so sick of them being commercialized and overplayed to be more palatable or “shocking” to audiences.

Sometimes it’s just two queer kids who depended on each other hard during a time where their attractions were shamed, one taking it out on another and the other internalizing it, and the messy, awful, complicated afterblow years after it’s climax

yeah i have also mostly thought that genzou acted nicer out of sight of the others, hence the line in arc 2 where he mentioned sharing his ice cream with orlam after daring him to go up on the wall

i don't like to talk too much on main about my exact intentions when writing these two (or any of the chars too much) because there is a lot i'd rather leave up to people to interpret or figure things out for themselves, so i don't ever want to come out and say "this is that way and that's that, no other interpretations, etc." because i don't like that, i'd much rather people take away things from the characters and their dynamics for themselves (particularly i never want to say "that's wrong" to someone just because they interpreted something differently than i intended it to)

i will say that a lot of what you've written here though is indeed very close to what i had in my head when i was writing them

in my head, orlam's feelings (both for genzou and anyone else) were never romantic. after all, he was still in the middle of figuring out his aromanticism as well as his bisexuality as he grew up. but kinda as you said, this very intense attachment to the only other person who seemed to be able to relate somewhat to what he was going through (since no one else at the time realized what gidget and iggy were figuring out about themselves) though i do think that young orlam probably thought it was romantic and less a trauma bond

meanwhile genzou hated himself and felt like he'd been abandoned by everyone, especially iggy, so he would escape to orlam even more, particularly in the time after the accident, being more nice to him and agreeing to hang out and let orlam help him, etc., even though he knew it could hurt orlam in the end. i don't see genzou's feeling as romantic either as i don't honestly think either orlam and genzou are attracted to one another (hence why even in the better timeline i could never see them together) but genzou did feel safe and supported by orlam when no one else seemed to give a damn about him. but also the closer he got to orlam the guiltier he felt -- both about what he was doing to orlam, his feelings about iggy, and his general hatred for himself feeling that he always messes things up/ruins people's lives (because yeah, as you mentioned too, he blames himself and his feelings for what caused the accident). i particularly think that whenever something happened with iggy, or whenever genzou's feelings for iggy flared up, his treatment of orlam would either worsen in front of people or he'd hang out with him more in private, because it became genzou's subconscious way of dealing with it

so it was really just a ticking time-bomb that sucked both of them in that all went off at after-prom where both of them hit their ultimate worsts at the worst of times, triggered further by the actions of their friends to send them both spiraling hahaha

ahhhh... and now i feel like i've said too much again LOL but that is at least what was going through my head as their dynamic formed and i worked on their scenes and build-up

at any rate... i really love that you've written this up in so much detail and with so much heart; i really loved reading your interpretation of everything, and i also really love that you appreciate (? if that is the word for it) their dynamic so much, they really form such a crucial part of the overall story and i cried so much working on their final scenes because of what they mean to me. i think it's also part of why i love writing their dynamic so much in the non-main timeline stuff -- whether in OC or in BT. like. this is how i want to write them. as these stupid friends that care about each other a lot but because they're so opposite in everything and their values they're constantly bickering, but in a way that is just very silly and funny and enjoyable for me to write. like. this is what they could have been!!!! if it wasn't for the horrible situation they found themselves in, both because of external factors and because of their own internal factors and being scared kids that made tons of mistakes

anyway, yeah... hahaha

(i like that you also emphasize the time period that this all went down as that was a big thing that contributed not only to them, but to the entire group, because back then it just... it just wasn't something talked about openly. like. at all. and that's a big part of why i also took so so long and went through a lot of pain and struggles to figure myself out, too)

[buddiebeginz]

I just watched Red, White, and Royal Blue for the first time the other day, loved it. I think I've watched it at least 10 times since then. 😝 Haven’t read the book yet so as usual I’m behind everyone else. But I wanted to make this post because I’ve seen numerous comments on social media criticizing the movie for not having lgbtq actors playing the main roles.

As someone who is bi I’m really frustrated that this continues to be an issue the lgbtq community is pushing. I've seen it happen with other movies and shows where actors have been harassed on their social media because they've taken queer roles and they're straight or straight presenting to the world.

I definitely believe we should push for better and more representation for lgbtq actors (especially poc and trans people) in Hollywood but that doesn’t have to mean every lgbtq role needs to go to an lgbtq actor.

For me as a queer person what matters most is that our stories are told by people doing it with the most care and authenticity possible.

One of my favorite shows of all time is Queer as Folk (the original US version from the early 2000's). The cast included a few lgbtq actors (and had lgbtq creators at the helm) but was mostly made up of straight actors. The show isn't without it's faults especially for the time period it was made in but for me personally it's one I most identify with. I never felt like the cast was just doing their job and the relationships especially within the main group felt real and relatable. The show also never shied away from showing true intimacy between their characters. At a time when gay sex was not a thing in media at all let alone on tv QAF was not afraid to be as raw and vulnerable with their characters as possible. No matter where the show took things the cast whether gay or straight always came off as people invested in the scene. You could also tell their commitment to the show when they did interviews back then and again years later when they've done reunions etc.

You can see the same kind of commitment to the story with Taylor and Nick in RWRB. You can see it in the movie and in some of the interviews we've been able to see when they've talked about their roles or working with each other and how much working on this has meant to them.

I get why people want to see queer parts go to queer actors when they don't get cast as much as they should and as I said that needs to change but I think we can push for changes while still praising important moments like this movie being made. I also don't think that actors should be pigeonholed into being hired solely based on their sexuality. The more society pushes for this it won't be helping rather it will hurt lgbtq actors who already have a hard time getting roles that aren't specifically for queer people. Gay men in particular are often passed over for leading man roles because it's a long running stereotype of Hollywood that no one wants to see a gay man as a straight romantic lead or an action hero.

The other problem here is I think we need to stop with this obsession of needing to know celebrities sexuality. Just because a character is lgbtq doesn't mean we need to verify that the actor is too especially if that's not something the actor wants to talk about it.

I think that Nicholas and Taylor deserve every bit of praise for the job they did. I don't think their sexuality matters here whatever that is because at the end of the day they both put their all into telling Alex and Henry's love story. Just as much as they would have if they were acting with someone of the opposite sex more so in some ways I'd argue. You can tell they felt the gravity of what they were making and and how important this story already was to so many people.

[volfoss]

3, 15, or 18 for erm thae witcher

oh i am about to be the biggest hater known to man im so sorry

to preface. i avoid the witcher tags for the most part because its me and my 3 witcher mutuals against the world and everyone has bad takes all the time otherwise. so i do not have a TON of experience w fanon there but i have explored it a few times.

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

surprising amt of geralt is a nepo baby fanfics last time i checked the tag. i stay blissfully unaware a lot of the time w stuff. ACTUALLY. netflix witcher exclusive. when people are constantly talking about how geralt is such a good dad there when he has interacted w ciri maybe 3 times because they removed the really good bonding scenes from the books. i have to be a hater about it bc i think every other adaptation has handled their relationship better and i dont see the appeal of ohhh their found family (with geralt yennefer and ciri) in the shows. in the books yeah. but thats because they actually get time to spend together there. and they didnt make geralt suck as a character. also not on tumblr but the fucking team yenn team triss people on reddit. are we really going to ignore what triss did to that man?????

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

i dodge the tags like as much as i can but i feel a big thing is u can TELL what someone is consuming to be into this series because all netflix fanarts have been very um. weird about jaskier in a fetishizing gay men way (how they hc him not how i do etc). also sick of seeing 20 million fanarts where they completely erase every scar the characters have. if u draw geralt or ciri or even TRISS without their scars that are yk. supposed to be defining parts of their faces/character appearances i am blowing you up. stop yassifying grandpa please.

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

there are two things that apply here imo:

1. the hexer adaptations. you guys just hate fun. in what world is an early 2000s short tv series that has the worst dragon cg due to a very small budget. it is one of the best adaptations of the first 2 books in terms of characters being in character and how they handle the source material. also outside of the one polish comic (the Betrayal/Zdrada issue of Prószyński i S-ka) it is the only adaptation to show geralt's past. it is also really fun with costuming too! they have a lot of clear inspiration but also like. objectively w their budget sometimes it looks bad. its charming to me tho and im SO sick of the netflix witcher hype. sorry #1 henry cavill hater for the role.

2. my BEST FRIEND angouleme. yeah she was only in 2 books but she is one of the characters of all time. to me she is such a good example of both geralts tendency to save people when he does not need to and how they will just let kids be so comfortable and safe around him. she is also just so fucking cool man and again w her being book only (for good reason but im dreading when those get adapted and people are weird about her) character i get why she doesn't get much hype but STILL. she is so fun she will see an insanely old vampire and be like hmm. nickname time for him. yes he could kill me but i stay silly about it.

[lunieloon]

Happy Pride Month from the Lunieverse main characters!!

Rambles on Each character's sexualities/genders below!! (Be warned: it's another long infodump)

Growing up as a kid in the early-mid 2000's there wasn't much (if any) representation in the shows I would watch, and so I never had characters I could fully relate to. That’s why now that I'm making my own shows and characters, I think it's important to have them reflect everything I was missing as a kid.

It's taken me a long while to figure out my identity, and in turn, it's also taken me a while to figure out my character's identities, so this may change in the future. But for now, I'm confident that this is what my characters are!

Starting from left to right...

Regio Corona:

Agender

Demisexual/romantic

Any pronouns

Regio is part of what I like to call the "Self Insert Trio!" He's a character based more off of myself in appearance and also reflects more of my own internal struggles than some other characters.

They are very indifferent about their gender, as far as they're concerned, it doesn't matter. She thinks it's a waste of time worrying about it and would rather focus on being alive than how they're percieved. He also doesn't get how people can fall in love with the first person that crosses their path. The only person they've ever liked is Lyall-Dean. Everyone else is just another person. That she wishes would stay away from them.

Velvet Estrella:

Nonbinary

Bisexual

They/Them

Velvet is another member of the Self Insert Trio! They're the epitome of "I'm probably nonbinary but i have a job, so i don't care about that now." Through they are fully aware that people see them as a girl, and it bothers them a LOT. But saving the world has to come first, sadly.

They're also bisexual! And though they don't get crushes easy, sometimes it's hard to deny someone's attractive when you need to see them every day (especially at their job)

Mea Mine:

Polyamourous

Bisexual

She/Her

Okay okay, last member of the Self Insert Trio I promise XD. Mea is an avid hater of love trianges- so her solution to those is date everyone involved! She has 3 partners, and though it was a learning curve for them all at the start, it sure beat whatever complicated love square situation their lives were before XD

Bea Lex:

Lesbian

She/Her

Bea is an immortal teenager. She will watch planets rise and fall, and people explore all of the universe. And throughout it all, she will know one thing for certain: Girls are pretty. Luckily there is no doomed yuri here! Because her gf is also an immortal teenager!

Stephenson Ken Royden:

Gay

He/Him

Stephenson is the prince of a medieval-style planet. He grew up listening to stories about knights saving princesses and princes slaying dragons. But he would always wonder why knights couldn't save princes instead? After all, slaying a dragon seems like dangerous work, and he would much rather get saved by a knight instead. (And the women in his family proved to be much better equipped to slay a dragon if needed)

Spacey Cosmos:

Gay

He/Him

Spacey is the son of interplanetary diplomats Astro and Nebula Cosmos, and though his planet is currently going through a population decline crisis, he's managed to avoid knowing anything about it since he's been travelling between planets his whole life, so he's completely chill with being gay. (This may be the only aspect of his identity that he is chill with.)

March Calendar:

Transgender

Bisexual

He/Him

Despite all the other shit he's had to deal with, the one silver lining March had in his life was how easy it was to transition when he discovered he was trans. His parents were rich and spent most of their time travelling while under the impression their kid was at boarding school (something March unenrolled himself from as soon as he could use a computer) He then used the money that would have gone to boarding school on HRT and junk food. It worked so well his parents didn't even realize he wasn't a boy to begin with.

Oh Yeah, he's also bisexual, but he's had zero luck with anybody. (at least until he meets Ener)

Blu Ponds:

Transgender

Bisexual

He/Him

In a wild combination of tragedies and life-changing events, Blu is trans but doesn't even know how big of a deal it is. His parents died when he was 6. Since he was part of the lowest class of Pigmentian society he never had an official birth certificate until Petal's mom was applying to get legal guardianship over him. BUT since that was more Petal's idea, she had Blu fill out the paperwork himself. Blu was 8 years old at this point, and so he filled out the form to say he was born a boy. And no one ever corrected him on that. As far as the law was concerned he was a cis male. As a teenager, the only regret Blu has over filling out that form himself is that his name is legally Bob and now he can't change it.

Perplex Jones:

Asexual

He/Him

Somehow, being asexual is one of the most controversial aspects of Perplex's life. (And not the conspiracy theories or being haunted by ghosts??? Bro?!) Perplex never thought people would be mad that he didn't want to fuck them, but sadly, living in a 24/7 livestreamed content house means people are going to sexualize him. (A fact that he is very uncomfortable with!!) And to make matters worse, no one seems to take him seriously when he brings it up. (Something that he won't let slide. Trust me.) He wishes he didn't have to be here, but in order to prevent the end of humanity he does his best to ignore the adverse effects of his internet fame.

[thetragicallynerdy]

So for NYE some pals and I had a slideshow party (where each person puts together a 5-10 minute slideshow presentation on whatever topic they want and we all present) and the topic I chose for mine was The Top Ten Chuck Tingle Books I Want To Read. I said I would share it here if this is the topic I went with, out of some other fun options like "why peanut butter should be in s'mores: I am right and all of you are wrong", "paw patrol and the patriarchy" and "top ten funniest pride clothing i've found online." The Tingler topic won, so without further ado, here u go pals:

The Top Ten Chuck Tingle Books I Want To Read, by Hank - a NYE Presentation

(Be warned this is a long post, all slides have IDs for accessibility)

[ID: The title slide of my slideshow which reads: The Top Ten Chuck Tingle Books I Want To Read: A Definitive Ranking based on Title, Cover Art, and Vibes alone, By Hank. The slideshow background, called "couture," is a black background with a fancy white overlay embellished with different kinds of patterns. It gives a sense of fashion and flair for the dramatic. It is the same background for every slide. End ID.]

Number Ten - Eaten Right by the Mysterious S Symbol Everyone Used to Draw.

[ID: a slide with the cover of the Chuck Tingle book listed above. The cover shows a curvy woman in underwear, bra, and open shirt smiling and touching her hair. Beside her is a neon teal "S" symbol that was popular in the early 2000s, made by drawing 6 lines and connecting them. Text on the slide reads:

I can’t stop laughing about the S symbol

That’s it that’s pretty much the entire reason it’s on here

(Also the model is v cute)

End ID.]

Number Nine - Taken by the Gay Unicorn Biker.

[ID: another slide, with book cover and text. The cover shows a very muscle-y man wearing low-cut jeans and an open leather jacket, with a unicorn wearing leather and riding a motorcyle behind it. The book cover has a sepia tone. Text on the slide reads:

Very here for the gay unicorn biker

How does a unicorn bike when it only has hooves? Unclear

The sepia tone makes this seem like it’s gonna be gritty in a fun way

End ID.]

Number Eight - The Unicorn Them Fatale Pounds My Non-Binary Butt Mysteriously

[ID: another similar slide. The book cover on it shows a non-binary person wearing black skinny jeans and a black vest and thin black choker sitting on a bar stool. Behind them stands a pink anthropomorphic unicorn wearing shiny leather pants and a black long sleeve crop top. The cover gives off noir vibes, while simultaneously giving off goth or emo vibes. Text on the slide reads:

Very here for non-binary smut

Also very here for this goth/emo unicorn

Them fatale is a fucking great pun

End ID.]

Number Seven - Glazed by the Gay Living Donuts

[ID: another slide. The book cover on it shows a shirtless man looking over his shoulder seductively. He is surrounded by glazed donuts, with a white kitchen in the background. Text on the slide reads:

I am but a simple person who likes donuts a lot

The donuts look very tasty

The use of a donut in the word donut is A++

I want to know if the sex gets more creative than just fucking a donut hole (I suspect it will, because it’s Chuck Tingle)

End ID.]

Number Six - My Dungeon Master Is a T-Rex Rules Lawyer But Fortunately I Rolled A Crit On The Pound My Butt Check

[ID: another slide. The book cover on it shows a man wearing a kilt, wide leather belt, and metal pauldron extending to armour over his left arm. He is otherwise shirtless, and smiles while giving a thumbs up. Behind him is an anthropomorphic dinosaur wearing a business suit. They stand in an office. Text on the slide reads:

As a dungeon master this is hilarious

SO curious about the contrasting costumes, and whether or not they also LARP

Is the rules-lawyer T-Rex also an actual lawyer?? Read on to find out??

End ID.]

Number Five - I Freed This Handsome Cargo Ship From The Suez Canal But Now He's Stuck In My Butt

[ID: another slide. The book cover on it shows a shirtless man with a very hairy chest wearing boxers and standing with one hand on his chin and the other on his hip. Behind him is a photo of the Ever Given cargo ship, with a face photoshopped onto the front of the ship. Text on the slide reads:

The Ever Given my beloved

Kind of in love with the face just stuck on the front of the ship

Very curious about the plot lines

That dude’s chest hair is a+++

End ID.]

Number Four - Moby Butt

[ID: another slide. The book cover on it shows a woman wearing a bar maid style period clothing of dress with a tight bodice over a lacy white off the shoulder shirt, as well as a black choker necklace and an eye patch. She crosses her arms and looks coolly at the camera. Behind her is a scene of a stormy ocean. Floating in the water is a butt that has a smiling face photoshopped onto it. Text on the slide reads:

This is a GREAT bodice ripper type cover – just look at her dress! And her eye patch! And the stormy seas!

It legitimately took me a while to realize there was a butt in the seas but it looks very happy

I’ve never read Moby Dick but what better way to start than with a lesbian smut parody

End ID.]

Number Three - Canada Pounds My Butt and Covers My Pancakes with Real Maple Syrup in an Erotic Way also it is Delicious

[ID: another slide. The book cover on it shows a shirtless man who has a bodybuilder physique standing in front of a road intersection in what looks like the Canadian prairies. A map of Canada covered with the red and white Canadian flag, but with a smiling face photoshopped over where the maple leaf in the flag should be, floats behind him in the sky. Text on the slide reads:

As a Canadian I feel contractually obligated to want to read this

Also I love that it’s just a map of Canada with a face

Here for the prairie setting

Also for the maple syrup and pancakes lets be real

Canada deserves all the gay sex

End ID.]

Number Two - Bisexual Polyhedral Role-Playing Dice Orgy

[ID: another slide. The book cover on it shows a shirtless man with washboard abs standing in a living room with white walls and white furniture. He has his hands on his hips and looks off to the side with a somewhat disintrested expression. Floating around him are a set of seven blue polyhedral roleplaying dice. Each dice has been photoshopped to have a human face on it. Text on the slide reads:

Super curious about how dice fuck without any body parts other than faces

The dice all look remarkably horny even if the young man does not

Love me some bi representation

I got bi pride dice for Christmas and now I will imagine they are in this book

End ID.]

Number One - A Butt In the Mist: Stirred to the core of my bodice by the Duchess Triceratops of Helena

[ID: another slide. The book cover shows a woman in a slutty steampunk costume consisting of underwear, garter belts, a leather corset vest top, an ascott, white gloves, a top hat, goggles, and a cane. She stands beside an anthropomorphic triceratops wearing a full-length period gown with puffy sleeves. In the background is what looks like a castle in the mist. Text on the slide reads:

The costuming is fantastic

It gives very steampunk vibes which I’m into

Feels like there will be good plot and romance and intrigue along with the smut

Who doesn’t love dinosaurs?? Especially dinosaurs in costume??

End ID.]

And last but not least - Honourable Mentions

[ID: a slide showing three Chuck Tingle book covers, with no text besides the title "Honourable Mentions." The books are:

My Macaroni and Cheese is a Lesbian and also she is my laywer, which shows a woman in lingerie posing beside a large bowl of macaroni and cheese that has a human face photoshopped on it.

Pounded by the realization that Chuck Tingle's erotic works are a singular piece of art that skewers conservative fears of moral decay by re-purposing them as the promise of a sex-positive utopia. It shows a shirtless buff man with a neutral facial expression standing beside a book that has a bearded face photoshopped on the cover.

Petrichor is a lesbian and she gets me off in a cozy way during a much needed rainstorm. It shows a woman in white underwear, ribbed crop top sweater, and stockings beside a large raindrop photoshopped with a smiling face on it.

End ID.]

Honourable mentions chosen because I love Mac and Cheese, Petrichor is one of my favourite words, and also because the one about his erotic works speaks deeply to me as someone who also sometimes writes smut.

For those curious about my ranking system - I read through the entirety of Chuck Tingle's works on Goodreads, picked the ones the spoke to me the most, and then loosely ranked them based on what I'd want to read first. I didn't go with the more meta or political parody ones, because while I love them, they're not what I'd look for in smut.

Thank you for attending my presentation, go forth and read all the smut

[absolutebl]

Zettai BL S2 is coming in soon, and I still haven't managed to even dare starting S1 in grounds of the bad hair. T_T But I also don't want to prematurely jump into it for risks of ruining it. (As I know what it did to Seven Days for me very much.)

Do you have maybe a list of top 15 titles with bad hair to grind through for getting some immunity, but which are also safe to watch?

Safe as in they aren't all that brilliant (so not much to be ruined), but also aren't terrible titles. (I don't even mind dark per se, but I dislike deus ex machina for the sake of nonsensical enforcement of plot points.) Since most of the bad hair coming from earlier shows also means treading into that minefield of old. (Something like Boy's Love certainly has pretty bad hair to serve the training purpose, but I've already read the manga of that one and definitely can do without a repeat of it...)

OOOO, what a question. Because this requires early Japanese BL and that is a minefield. So I'm going to branch out a little bit, and also not sure I can come up with 15. But here we go...

10 BLs to Watch to Get used to Japan’s Penchant for TERRIBLE Hair

(that aren't too dark or depressing, but also, some of these are just... not very good either)

In order of WORST HAIR, starting with the worst at the top, so you might want to watch in reverse order? 

1. Seven Days 

Hair rating: I cried at the hairdressers

What, a list of Japanese BL from me without this one at the top? You doubted me. Anyway, one of my favorite BLs of all time. And the only one from Japan I’ve given a 10/10. And yes, TERRIBLE HAIR. Truly, awful. Still one of the best live action yaois ever made, with perfectly structured angst, fantastic characters and acting, and no problematic tropes (rare in Japanese BL). The leads have excellent chemistry although it’s low heat there’s still some really cute mutual kisses. 

2. Takumi-kun series

Hair rating: I instantly shaved it off 

Series features all the problematic tropes and watches almost exactly like yaoi reads, the leads do have good chemistry, though. Includes incest, abuse, dub-con, and obsession and absolutely awful hair. 

3. Docchi Mo Docchi AKA Same Difference 

Hair rating: I wore a hat for a month 

What to say about this one? The hair is bad. And the show? Well, it’s not as good as it should be, squandering great chemistry, good acting chops, the perfect rivals to lovers concept, and one of the best office set BL yaois ever written. I don’t know why it failed so far when it had such a good foundation, but it was made all over bromance and boring. 

4. Life: Love on the Line AKA Life Senjou no Bokura 

Hair rating: I use a lot of gel every morning 

Mostly just the uke character, but his hair is bad. He’s manic pixie dream gay and so is his hair. Actually this is a good BL, if a bit adult and gut wrenching at times. Goes through young love, break up, and reunion. But it all really a saga of self acceptance. You want the director’s cut. 

5. Love Stage!! AKA Rabu Suteiji 

Hair rating: I just restyled it and never went back 

It’s just not good. It could have been great if they had stuck to the crossdressing of the original manga and if the pair had any kind of chemistry. The hair, like the show, isn’t egregious it’s just stupid. 

6. Ossan's Love 

Hair rating: I learned how to use a dryer to compensate 

Eh. 

Just, eh. 

7. Silhouette of Your Voice AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru

Hair rating: Eh, it’ll grow out 

 This is not a terrible as either a show or hair, but it’s not good either. It’s certainly not as good as any of us wanted given how wonderful the original manga is. Also it doesn’t really end happily, nor is it honestly BL. 

8. Utsukushii Kare AKA My Beautiful Man

Hair rating: I was going through a phase 

If something is going to turn you off of this BL it certainly isn’t the hair. It was exactly as weird and as messed up as any 2000′s yaoi: emo af and hella warped, entirely true to itself with no attempt made to modify its POV for modern sensibilities or current BL fandom. It didn’t pander to us in anyway, and I fucking loved it for that. This is not just live action yaoi in its purest form, it’s Japanese cinema, uncompromising. But the hair was actually okay for the characters.

9. Given

Hair rating: I was trying to look younger than I am 

Boy joins band, falls in love with other boy. The hair is a bit fluffy but fine but the singing is terrible, fast forward through that. With the possible exception of the hair styles, this BL could have been made in 2015 and no one would be surprised. As such, it wasn’t ground breaking, but it didn’t disappoint either.

10. Cherry Magic AKA 30 Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard

Hair rating: I just tried a little too hard and it was a little too dated 

The sweetest fluffiest magical realism BL, packaged as a pinning office romance, very low heat (practically chaste) but the cutest. Hair gets crazy on occasion but whatever, you’ll stop seeing it after the first episode. 

Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko AKA Absolute BL AKA A Man Who Defies The World of BL

It’s pretty far down on the list because the hair could, quite frankly be a lot worse. I would put it in at about level 5 - just restyle it and never go back. But remember, the point is that this show is intentionally making fun of stuff like this. 

If you want something *interesting* to watch that’s rarely discussed and no one has really seen, try 2015′s Wait For Me at Udagawachou AKA Udagawachou de Matteteyo. It’s odd, but fascinating as a piece of BL history, although not BL. It’s about a boy who falls in love (fetish?) with another boy BECAUSE that boy is a crossdresser (possibly trans). Ultimately I think it is not successful, but it is worth watching and the hair is BAD. 

Bonus?

Epic origin Kdrama de jour... Heirs. The hair is SO AWFUL. Go on, you know you want to.

Honorable mention to the weird hair sticky-upy bit they insisted on portraying from the graphic novel (I assume) for Shao Fei in HIStory 3: Trapped. Poor Jake. 

(source) 

[girl4music]

Tagged by @hersterical

Oh, boy… this is going to be long because every time I do one of these request chain thingies, I have to explain the why’s and the how’s otherwise - no point.

3 Ships: Xena and Gabrielle (Xabrielle or WarriorBard) from ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’, Willow and Tara (Tillow or RosenClay) from ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ and Calliope and Juliette (Calliette) from ‘First Kill’.

First ever ship: This is the easiest answer ever as they are still my number one ship to this day. Xena and Gabrielle (Xabrielle or WarriorBard). They are honestly the best WLW representation that I have ever seen on TV or really… in anything… of any format of art/entertainment there is… ever. They’re such an iconic couple and epic romance. The thing with Xena and Gabrielle is that they’re not textually canon in the show itself. Let me be very clear what I mean by this because it’s very important to understand why it actually doesn’t matter that they’re not. It was never made explicitly clear in the show itself that they were an actual romantic/sexual couple…. However, even though you can interpret their relationship/dynamic in whichever way you want to… they are absolutely meant to be interpreted as best friends to lovers. The cast/crew/creators expect you to perceive and think of them that way, it’s just they could not make them textually canon and confirm them to be a romantic/sexual couple in the show itself because it was made and aired in the 90’s/early 2000’s and they had severe network censors to contend with. But don’t let that stop you from watching the show for the WLW representation because their relationship/dynamic is so damn beautiful and I have yet to see any love or romance (be it WLW or otherwise) done better than Xena and Gabrielle is. Seriously, their relationship/dynamic is substantial because you could look at the backdrop of all the first and most significant WLW representation that there ever was in TV art/entertainment and they’d be there among the textually canon ships of WLW HERstory, proudly waving the gay/lesbian flag high in the Grecian sky.

If you haven’t seen ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ yet and you’re an avid watcher and lover of WLW representation in TV art/entertainment - Go watch it! Xena and Gabrielle are the ultimate WLW ship and their love or romance is EPIC. The whole show revolves around them as the only main characters and telling their stories as individual characters which only aid in representing them as a couple. Focusing on their individual character arcs each does not take away from their love in any way, shape or form. It actually HELPS to validate and cultivate it. Trust me. That’s a huge thing that WLW shows get wrong today. Not just that they don’t focus on BOTH character’s individual stories or arcs because it’s very rare to get two main female characters in a romantic/sexual relationship as it is in TV art/entertainment… but also that when they do sincerely do WLW representation, they focus too much on the ‘lovers’ aspect of it and not enough on everything that builds up that love. Xena and Gabrielle were censored but honestly, ironically and fortunately, that’s an extreme advantage for them because it forced the writers to focus on THEM as complex people and not just representation. And this is what makes the representation BETTER than anything that you can find and watch in TV art/entertainment to this day even though there is no censorship for WLW anymore because there doesn’t need to be. Sometimes I do feel like this is a detriment for WLW representation rather than a benefit for it. But when you have creators that are sincere and respectful, it shouldn’t matter what gets censored. They’ll be able to write a realistic and worldly love or romance between same-sex characters regardless. The real challenge is in getting THAT relationship/dynamic to last beyond one fucking season. 😤

Last song: The last song that I listened to on my phone’s Apple Music app shuffle is Melissa Etheridge - An Unexpected Rain. It’s a song that tells an upsetting account of Melissa being in a temporary spontaneous fling with another woman who she promised to have a relationship and life with once she got her BIG break in the music industry. Melissa ends up leaving and forgetting all about this woman until she meets her again on the street one day and realizes that she’s a prostitute and homeless and she feels all the pangs of guilt and regret that she could have saved her from a life like that had she stayed with her but her music career was far too important to her. Melissa Etheridge is easily one of the greatest songwriters of all-time. In this song there’s a specific lyric that wallops me to the floor every time I hear it:

🎶 Your look was haunting; an unexpected pain. I am so sorry for the unexpected rain🎶 - I mean - wow! It’s simple and elegant but says A LOT at the same time. You can interpret so much into this one line alone. Masterful writing skill this singer-songwriter has. And such a distinctive voice that you couldn’t mistake her for anybody else. I recommend listening to her music.

Last movie: I went to the cinemas to see Taylor Swift - The Eras Tour. I don’t know if this counts as a “movie”.

Currently reading: I don’t really read fiction unless it’s fan fiction. But the last actual novel I read in book form was Robert Lanza’s Biocentrism. Robert Lanza is an acclaimed and celebrated biologist. His work in stem cell research is extensive and respected… however he ventured a little bit out of his field with Biocentrism as he proposes a ‘Theory of Everything’ (really, what scientist or philosopher hasn’t? Even if only in their head) that shares a similar worldview to the one I’ve always had about human purpose and how the entire Universe came to exist. In order to understand where he is coming from you have to do what most scientists won’t and refuse to do. Which is to entertain the concept of metaphysics and the supernatural because what he proposes very much takes from ancient philosophy and spirituality. You’ve really got to be able to open your mind to this to be able to read and understand his perspective. It’s easier for me because I’ve always believed this way. That life and biology are the keys to understanding the nature of the Universe and consciousness is a fundamental constant that creates the universe, rather than the universe creating consciousness. But if you’re interested in that perspective, definitely read it.

Currently watching: I’m just sticking to the cult classics and my favourites from now on because there’s shite all to watch lately and even if I do start to watch and get invested in the TV art/entertainment there is today, it just ends up getting cancelled and removed from the platform that produced it in the first place. 🫤🤷‍♀️😡 So I’m watching ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’, ‘Angel the Series’ and ‘Charmed’ (yes, of course the original Charmed. The remake The CW did is a joke!) and reactions for them.

Currently consuming: Nothing. My own saliva I guess.

Currently craving: I could eat some chocolate but I’m not desperate. It’s not THAT WEEK yet. Soon though.

I tag @willnotacceptalifeundeserved because they’re the person I’m interested in getting to know more but anyone else that sees this is welcome to post theirs.

tag 9 people to get to know better

Tagged by @coraniaid. Lots of cheating answers here!

3 ships: Faith x Buffy from BTVS (Fuffy!!) I'm pretty focused. (I'll ignore other Eliza Dushku characters, and uh, that leaves, to a much much MUCH lesser extent...) Wil x Vivian (from Saving Face) and Lucy x Amy (from D.E.B.S.) But I don't even know the ship names for those 2 so you can see how much of my brain they are taking up.

First ever ship: I think Mulder x Scully from X-Files was probably my first ever ship. (Although I did not know the term MSR and was not aware of fandom online.) I wasn't super invested, personally they don't really DO IT for me, but I was rooting for them to get together. One of these days I'll do a proper watch / rewatch. (I stopped watching regularly once I went to college.)

Last song: (double cheating album answer) Bad Bunny's new album Nadie Sabe Lo Que Va a Pasar Manana. AND the soundtrack from the Out of Sight movie.

Last movie: Ouijia: Origin of Evil. (Last background movie rewatch: House on Haunted Hill, the 1999 version)

Currently reading: Just started the Bring It On: The Complete Story of the Cheerleading Movie That Changed, Like, Everything (No Seriously) book, by Kase Wickman. (JFC that's a title)

Currently watching: Bob's Burgers for fun (yay! Louise is my favorite), and just finished The Fall of the House of Usher (this was just OK for me, I much prefer Midnight Mass and the two Hauntings). I think Chucky will be next! (gotta get caught up on season two)

Currently consuming: Shrimp spring rolls and a Boston cream donut.

Currently craving: Halloween chocolate candy. And marshmallow peanuts. And candy corn.

Thanks this was fun. I'm having a rough October and this helped.

Tagging: @hersterical @buffyjackets @sspoike @blazinwolve @pugzillarex @tara-maclay-is-still-alive-guys @stellernorth @shiverandqueeef @thenewbuzwuzz

[9w1ft]

Flowers anon. Is it okay to be a little potentially controversial on your blog? Or... more like, mention a controversial subject? If not, it's okay. Just don't post me or let me know you'd rather not. I know you like to keep your blog drama free. I just find the shifting opinions on this interesting and I'd like to poll your audience some. Here it goes. //

I don't really know where the line is between expression, freedom of it, trends, and community. It's Karlie using the word 'tribe' that calls that to mind. When I learned sociology, we used the term 'social tribes'. I don't know if it's problematic these days, or not. But... As very cliché examples, different tribes in the school grounds would be: the metalheads, the jocks, the preppies, etc... (yes I was born in the 80s....) and when it comes to fashion, or music, or language, from gbe beginning of time, the barriers have been porous, right? That's how music styles have evolved, how food traveled the world and dishes have versions on every continent. How things are copied from one tribe and twisted into the expression of another (see: Burberry from preppies to punks, for example), etc... So... When someone picks one or two things from a social tribe, whether it be fashion aspects, ticks of language, inside jokes, themes, whatever, I don't generally assume they're part of that tribe, or they wish to be, or they wish to signal that they are. They could just... like those things. And they chose to try them on, play with them for now or for a long time. Right? Right. But. The more someone gives me coded hints of a specific tribe or community, the more I'm getting the message that this is one, not incidental, two, probably meaningful. (Basically: if you show up one day with a Black Sabbath t shirt, you might just have gone to H&M in the last decade. If your entire wardrobe consists of metal t shirts, then either you're a huge poser for no reason, or you really did metal) I know you know where I'm going with this. If there seems to be queer doing in a lot of what you make, and in time there's more and more, and it's less and less subtle... There's a point I don't even question the messaging. I got it. I hear you loud and clear. No room for doubt anymore.

// So I'm curious. Where's your line? Where's everyone's line? Do some tribes/communities have a line that's different, for you? (less okay to roll with the assumption that someone's queer rather than the assumption they're a Pratchett fan? If so, why? Is it more 'wrong'? If so, why?)

Do you have One Thing that convinced you, one way or the other? Was it because on its own it made it click? Or was it because it was the one too many thing that made you go "Alright, I get it. Guess that crazy Tumblr theory was right on the money, huh."?

i do hope i’m understanding you 🙈 circle back if i have it wrong. you’re basically asking, at what point do i assume that someone is queer? or, when does doing queer things hit a critical mass and become a signal that someone is queer?

i think about american middle school and high school in the early 2000’s (so we’re talking acronyms like GSA (gay-straight alliance) we’re talking it being ordered GLBT) and about how i gravitated to all the other queer kids in my grade and we gravitated to one another without ever really asking specifics.. just knowing we felt more comfortable if we hung out at the dances as a group. in retrospect, we really had a piece of each even though we didn’t have all the words at the time to articulate the specifics 😆 two friends were gay, two more friends started gay and then realized they were trans, another is nonbinary, one is asexual, one was bi and then lesbian and then bi again, i went with bi but now pan feels more natural to me… but we really didn’t know all of this at the time, not until maybe senior year i guess?? but for many of us it all crystallized in adulthood. heck i still remember the first time someone came out in the history of our school. but my friends and i we all knew. and honestly for me it was and always has been that: vibes. a feeling of safety. maybe it was like, hearing someone say several times they thought a somewhat gender nonconforming celebrity or character was hot. idk. eventually you’d just say “i think so too XD” and the rest is history. and i’m curious what peoples thoughts are! i don’t feel i have anything that doesn’t sound nebulous, i fear.

and now, apologies for what i’m guessing is a competitively controversial tangent.

one thing came to mind when i read your anon and i want to share —because i think it’s something that might make me (hopefully more people than just me 😭) somewhat unique— is that i sort of came across all of this in a way that probably seems inverse to a lot of gaylors: i was a casual listener of taylor’s until i got curious about who the muse for reputation was, and then fell down the rabbit hole. initially, i became entirely convinced of one thing: taylor and karlie are soulmates. next, given the fact that they’re both women, i concluded that taylor likes women. so an attempt to understand her preferences and how that colors her life experience was something that came second for me in terms of the progression of realizations.

from there i’ve had five years of being able to walk back and reflect on her whole body of work and time in the public eye and seeing all of the ways she expresses her queerness, and i have a deep appreciation for this aspect of gaylor‘ism’ but for me, it’s always been through the lens of knowing (believing) first and foremost that she loves karlie, that the girl in her story has always been karlie, that the growing body of her work stems from this story, and so the queerness i see in her art is, in turn, demonstratively true.

i think for a lot of people, especially post lover era gaylors, it’s the opposite. first and foremost taylor really pings, (because she’s been so loud!!) and the second question becomes how is she pinging, and then who is she dating. and i think the first and second questions get debated very intensely because people want to look at it holistically and explore everything that is out there at this very macro level and it often veers into Big Questions such as what does it mean to be queer… where for me, im coming at it from a place of those definitions not being so important to my understanding of her work because for me, the tell is that all these songs of hers so clearly are written about the same muse, who happens to be a woman. that’s all i’ve ever wanted or needed to know. i mean, i have my opinions but they’re guide by my understanding of this eras-long story. so while i understand why the debates happen i also just think a lot of it without kaylor becomes a cyclical debate with no end and nobody really being satisfied. so this is why i tend to not want to throw in my two cents. i hope this makes sense.. i’m not sure i articulated it properly.

[tootiredmotel]

a different lover is not a sin

or: 5 times Dean didn't go to Pride + 1 time he did

Happy @starrynightdeancas gift exchange posting day!!! This one's for the wonderful and talented @andzia267 !!! Sending you all the hugs and good vibes, and I hope you enjoy it! And thank you Sophie for hosting all this, you're a rock star! <3

Read on ao3 or below / 5.5k words

CW: homophobia, queer used as a slur, john winchester being an asshole

1 - 1994

Dean was fifteen years old when he found out that being gay was something people could be proud of. It was early in the morning, they'd left their motel about 20 minutes before, and Sammy had fallen asleep in the backseat. The sun was just starting to completely show over the horizon, and they were driving through– or rather, struggling to get out of– Phoenix on their way to a possible poltergeist in Tucson. Every street they tried to take was blocked for the big event, and dozens of people already lined the sidewalks with colorful outfits and signs.

"Fuckin' queers," John grumbled in the seat next to him. "Never should'a thrown that damn brick."

Big banners overhead displayed "Stonewall 25: A Global Celebration of Pride". Dean made a mental note to hit up a library once they got to Tucson to look that up, "Stonewall". In the meantime, he was mesmerized staring out the window. Guys held hands, women kissed, everyone was practically vibrating with excitement. A black man in heels and a wig caught his gaze through the window and waved. Dean started to wave back, but his hand was harshly swatted back down.

"Do not," John said. "Don’t talk to them, don’t even look at ‘em. These people are sick in the head."

Dean focused his gaze on his lap until they were out of the city, and his mind wandered back to the gas station they stopped at the day before. He thought of the guy at the cash register that called him "cutie" and winked at him as he bought a candy bar for Sammy and beers for Dad with his fake ID. By Dad’s logic– which Dean trusted, of course–, that cashier, that queer, must've been sick in the head.

Then Dean remembered how his heart sped up, how his ears got hot, and how for a second he let himself think the cashier was kinda cute too. He realized he must also be sick in the head, and the thought was making him feel actually, physically sick. He felt like throwing up. Dad could never know.

Dean was fifteen years old when he learned that being gay actually wasn't something to be proud of.

---

2 - 2000

Dean was 21 years old when he learned the word “bisexual”. Dad had caught word of a ghoul case in lower Manhattan and sent Dean to take care of it. It was starting to get too hot and the streets were too crowded, but Dean was mostly glad to get a break from the constant fighting between Dad and Sammy.

Except it was June, and every time he turned a corner, there they were. The Pride parade flyers.

The second he spotted a rainbow he averted his gaze. He turned another corner and spotted another one. He avoided reading them at all costs. He heard Dad’s voice. Sick. Sick in the head.

For years now Dean had pretended he wasn’t sick. He pretended to not stare at Patrick Swayze too much whenever Dirty Dancing played on TV. He pretended like he didn't imagine what it would be like to kiss a guy, what stubble would feel like against his lips if he ever did.

He liked women. He could stick to women. He could live his whole life like that. And that meant he wasn’t totally sick, right? He wasn’t gay -gay if he liked girls.

But then what the hell was he? Would he even belong at one of these Pride things if he wanted to? He was probably a freak of nature. Even sicker than the rest of the bunch.

Curiosity got the best of him. He spared a glance at one of the flyers as he waited to cross the street.

Gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transexuals, ALL WELCOME

“Are you gonna go?” A voice next to him asked. ”It’s next weekend.” He was blond, pale, and a bit shorter than Dean.

“What? No! I don't swing that way,” Dean said, a bit too quickly and with too much bite.

The guy looked him up and down with a frown. “Geez, alright. Just askin’.”

He started to walk away, and Dean spoke up before he could stop himself.

“Hey man, wait.”

The guy stopped walking.

“Sorry, can I ask you something? Assuming you... know about this stuff?”

He seemed exasperated, but he turned anyway, willing to hear Dean out. Dean licked his lips, rubbed at the back of his neck, swallowed nervously. He couldn’t believe he was doing this, asking a stranger on the street about something so personal. At least the chances of meeting this person ever again were close to none.

“What’s bisexual?”

The guy’s features softened a bit. He seemed to understand something about Dean that so far Dean refused to acknowledge.

“It means you’re into more than one gender. And yes, you can do that,” the guy said. He flashed Dean a tight smile and then disappeared into the crowd.

Dean felt his hands go numb and balled them into fists, shoving them in his pockets. He took a deep breath through his nose. The guy said you. You are. You can.

The guy didn’t know what he was talking about. He knew nothing about Dean. He was wrong.

Or maybe he was right.

But he couldn’t be.

Dean couldn’t be… that.

Dean was 21 years old when he decided he wasn’t bisexual. He wasn’t anything. He was also 21 when he solved a case in record time (two days), just so he could book it out of New York before the next weekend arrived.

---

3 - 2004

By the time he was 25 years old, Dean knew he was bi. He hated it, he never spoke about it, and he ignored it as much as he could, but he was aware of it. And he knew he was bi because, at 25 years old, he’d already gone through two serious breakups, and they both equally sucked.

The first was Lee. He hunted with Dean and John for about a year, the second half of which Dean and Lee spent sneaking around and hooking up behind John’s back. It was fun, and hot, and exciting, and some of the best hookups he’d had up until that point in his life were with Lee.

But the thing is that it wasn’t just hooking up. They were close, and Dean liked him. A lot. They kissed for the first time after a particularly scary werewolf hunt in which Dean almost died, but John was more preoccupied with the mostly-unharmed victim than his own son. Dean and Lee rode in the backseat, bruised, bloody, and quiet. When John went to walk the victim up to her apartment, Lee reached over and placed a hand on Dean’s back, asking him if he was okay. Dean fell into Lee’s arms, and they kissed as they pulled away from the embrace, soft and comforting. It was Dean’s first kiss with a guy.

Lee was a lot of firsts for Dean over the next few months. But then John almost caught them once, drunk and making out in the Impala.

And then that case in Arizona went wrong, and Lee just couldn’t take it anymore. He packed up, swore off hunting, hugged Dean goodbye, and left him in the dust.

Dean needed to clear his head after that. He could barely look his dad in the eye after that close call, couldn't let him see the sorrow he was feeling. With every interaction, he imagined how John would yell at him, probably try to beat it out of him, if he noticed all he was feeling over Lee. Or worse, John could ignore him, practically disown him like he did Sam.

So he also packed up and left. Went hunting on his own for a while.

It was on one of those hunts that he met Cassie, and she was yet another handful of firsts for Dean over the course of a few months. She was amazing, and he fell hard and fast, but of course that went up in flames too.

Then again, he should've known better than to be honest. Honesty only ever got him in trouble.

He’d just left her back in Ohio and was working at a bar in Indianapolis for a few weeks to make some cash. He’d eventually meet back up with Dad. He just couldn’t right now. Not with Sam gone to college. Not after getting his heart broken twice over within a year.

He was hyper-aware of the end of June approaching. He knew it was coming, Indy had a pretty big celebration, and he made sure to be working all day that day so he wouldn't have to face it.

That was pointless, though. Toward the end of the day, a big group of about ten or twelve people who were clearly coming from the parade stumbled into the bar. One of them was apparently the owner’s little sister and they went there every year after the celebrations. They were loud, and obnoxious, and looked incredibly happy. Their happiness was contagious, and Dean loved serving them. He chatted them up, got to know them a bit, and heard all about the parade, all while staring down anyone at the bar who dared look their way with even the slightest stink eye.

But watching them that happy and comfortable, seeing not one, but two pairs of guys sloppily leaning against each other and sharing the occasional kiss while none of their friends seemed to bat an eye… something in Dean ached. Deeply.

Dean was 25 years old when he realized that a small part of him kind of, sort of, wanted to be part of this community. He couldn’t though. Not if he wanted to be on good terms with Dad. Not if he aimed to be the man Dad wanted him to be.

He left Indianapolis the next day.

---

4 - 2008

Dean was 29 years old and on his own personal highway to hell when he learned his brother went to a Pride parade before he ever did. They were driving through San José, the streets were lined with ads for Silicon Valley Pride, and Sam just casually decided to mention how fun it was the last time he went.

Thankfully they were at a red light, or else Dean probably would’ve slammed the breaks. He twisted to look at Sam head-on, his arm on the back of the seat.

“You what ?” he gawked.

Sam shrugged innocently. “What?”

“You went to one of these Pride things?”

“Yeah, dude.”

Dean’s brain was just trying and failing to load. “Why?” he finally asked.

“Jessica was in the GSA and some friends invited us. It was awesome.”

“She was in the what?”

“The G. S. A.,” Sam answered slowly. “Gay-Straight Alliance.”

“Oh.” Whatever that is, Dean thought. He kept eyeing the flyers. It was tomorrow.

“Green.”

“What?”

“Light’s green. Green means go.”

Dean rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

He kept driving and turned up the radio. Somebody To Love was playing, and as much as he liked Queen, he had to change the station. He tried to picture his little brother (his straight little brother) wearing rainbow face paint and having the time of his life at this thing. How come Sammy got to go when Dean could barely entertain the idea? Dean was the not-straight one. It wasn’t fair.

He channeled his jealousy into gripping the steering wheel.

“You okay, Dean?”

“Yeah.” No. “Yeah, m’fine.”

Dean was 29 years old when he died and went to hell without ever having gone to a Pride parade, knowing that his idiot ( straight! ) little brother already had.

---

5 - 2014

Dean was alive again and 35 years old (75, if you count hell) when he was formally invited to a Pride parade for the first time. It was a couple of days after that whole mess with Cas in Lucifer’s crypt, and he called Charlie. He just wanted to hear her voice, needed to know he was still on good terms with at least one of his best friends.

“So anyway,” Charlie said after a while of recounting what she’d been up to. "How single are you right now? My answer is: miserably."

Dean chuckled. Then he thought of Cas, and the smile disappeared. "Yeah, you and me both, sister."

“Would you mind coming with me to this thing next month? Going alone kinda sucks.”

Dean put the phone on speaker and placed it on the library table as he sat down with a beer. “What’s the thing?”

“Pride.”

Dean was glad no one was around to see him almost choke on his drink.

“You good?”

“Yeah, what was that?”

“Pride parade. Don’t have anyone to go with this year.”

“Why uh… Why? Why me?”

She knows.

“I dunno.”

She knows she knows she knows.

“You’re my friend, Dean. Thought maybe you might be interested. But never mind, I guess.”

And while all the alarms in Dean's head were blaring danger danger danger abort, he also hated to hear Charlie so disappointed.

“Hey, no, listen, Charlie, I… I would. Really. You know I support you, wholeheartedly." And that's obviously the only reason I would want to go. "But with Sam doing these trials, and Cas on the run with the angel tablet–”

“It’s okay Dean, I get it. Talk to you soon?”

“Yeah.”

And she hung up.

Dean knew, at this point, that there was nothing wrong with being queer. It wasn’t anything to be ashamed of, and it sure as hell didn’t mean you were wrong in the head or whatever.

But years of pretending to be a false version of yourself in an effort to please a man who was impossible to please wasn’t exactly an easy habit to break. As much as he wished it didn't, as much as he wished he could just exist, the thought of anyone finding out still made him sick to the stomach.

John’s voice still echoed in his ears. His words still drove Dean’s sense of self-worth and so many of his decisions. He tried to never stare at a good-looking guy for too long. He tried to not get too into it with Benny. He tried to keep his feelings for Cas at bay, tried to keep him at arm's length, tried to keep the fact that he was in love (deeply, stupidly in love) as close to his chest as he could.

Even that night at the crypt choking out the words to get through to Cas, he couldn’t bring himself to say what he meant. I love you, he’d wanted to say, because it was the truth. What came out, however, was I need you. And he did, he needed Cas more than air, but it wasn't quite everything.

It still got his heart split in two.

Was he so far gone over Cas that he couldn’t hide it? Had he been trying so hard and failing just as miserably this whole time? Was his attraction to dudes that obvious? Or did Charlie just have a sixth sense for this kinda thing?

It was probably the last one. He hoped it was.

Cas knew, for sure. Angels knew everything right? They could read minds, feel longing, or whatever. And if none of that ever tipped him off, well, Dean put it all on the line back in that crypt. He told Cas how he felt, told him he needed him, tried putting himself out there, and it got him left. Again. With Dean, it was always leave-or-get-left when it came to love. He was tired of it.

Dean was 35 years old, desperately in love with his best friend, and truly heartbroken for the third time in his life, when his other best friend– an out and proud lesbian– gave him a chance to go to Pride, to break through his shell, to finally embrace himself as he was; but because he was practically living in the closet, he couldn’t seem to find the handle after so many years of purposefully ignoring its existence, and he missed his chance. Besides, what was the point of going to a celebration of love without the love of his life by his side?

---

+1 - 2021

Dean is now 42 years old and the happiest he’s ever been. The love of his life? Cas? Turns out he’s felt the same way all along. They're kind of together now, and slowly but surely they’re working through a decade’s worth of shit.

They’ve been raising a kid together too, along with Sam and Eileen, and that kid is also God. After saving the world and whatnot, Jack decided to bring back some of their friends and family that died over the years: Mary, Kevin, Charlie. Yes, there are two Charlies now, but it’s not as confusing as you’d expect. (One is from another dimension, and the other one is Dean’s little sister. Simple.) Mary’s off hunting most of the time and Kevin’s applying to college.

They’ve got extended family now too, Jody and the girls. OG Charlie is staying with them for now, while she finds her footing. Most of that household is queer. Most of Dean's household is queer as well, actually. Turns out both Jack and Eileen are non-binary, Cas is gay in the broader sense of the word, and Dean…

Dean is bi. And everyone knows now.

Apparently, a lot of people had known for a long time. Sam has known since the siren back in ‘09 (even though Dean stands by the fact that it wasn’t like that, Sammy ), and everyone has slowly picked up on his and Cas’s thing over the years, so there’s that.

He still feels a bit weird about it. About calling Cas his boyfriend, about having the freedom to hold his hand in public, about the fact that they now have goddamn pride flags hung around the bunker. He feels even weirder about the fact that John’s voice in his head is now drowned out by the sounds of his home life, more lively and supportive than he ever expected to have.

He wasn’t expecting any of this, he didn’t think everything would change so fast. But when you spend the better part of your life pushing down such a huge part of you and then finally give yourself an out, a chance to show the people who love you who you really are, everything just... follows.

Love follows. Acceptance follows. Family follows. And he wasn’t really expecting any of it.

He certainly doesn’t expect it when Cas walks into the library after his weekly Thursday evening call with Claire and announces, matter-of-factly and with air quotes, “We’re going to "Pride" this weekend.”

Dean’s stomach drops. It’s the Sioux Falls Pride Parade and Festival, it’s in two days, and they’re leaving tomorrow to spend the night at Jody’s so they can all be there bright and early Saturday morning. Everyone immediately starts bustling about, packing and planning outfits and gathering flags to bring with them.

Dean just goes to his room– his and Cas’s now– to pack a small duffle.

Well, he means to. Instead, he takes out the duffle from the closet, puts it on the bed, and sits next to it for a while. An hour goes by. He thinks back to all those times he had brushes with one of these things and was just never in the right mindset. He’s not even sure he’s in the right mindset now, but he’s going. It’s happening.

“Jack’s all ready to go,” Cas says when he walks in. “We spent about half an hour putting together an outfit for Saturday. He wanted it to be as colorful as possible.”

Dean smiles, but it’s not all there. He looks at the empty duffle next to him.

“Yeah, I might need some help with that myself.”

Cas is in sweats and a hoodie. Yes it’s June, yes it’s hot, but he’s a quasi-angel, and the way he experiences the world Dean will never be able to wrap his head around. He walks over and stands in front of Dean, running a hand through his hair and down the side of his face until he’s cupping Dean’s jaw. Dean takes Cas’s hand and leaves a few kisses on the inside of his wrist, closing his eyes as he does.

Cas regards the empty bag and hums quietly, as if in thought, before walking over to their closet. Dean chases his hand, holding onto it until he’s completely out of reach. Cas starts searching, and Dean’s stomach knots more and more with each clang of the hangers. Cas finally pulls out a flannel from its hanger– purple with hints of blue and pink– and tosses it over. Dean can’t believe he didn’t think of it first.

They continue to pack in comfortable silence before changing and getting into bed. Dean doesn’t flop onto his stomach or cuddle into Cas’s side as he usually does; instead, he lies on his back and stares at the ceiling in a daze.

“Dean?” Cas’s voice snaps him out of it.

Dean turns his head and asks, automatically, “You okay?”

It’s a habit by now, asking each other that question. It’s part of the working-through-a-decade’s-worth-of-shit thing they’re doing. Turns out they share a whole lot of trauma. They share worries and insecurities. They share nightmares sometimes, mostly about the Empty.

“I’m okay,” Cas says, putting his hand on top of Dean’s heart for him to hold, and Dean can breathe a little easier.

“You nervous about this thing?” Dean asks, interlocking their fingers.

“The parade? No, not really.”

And then, because he's been working on communicating how he's feeling out loud or whatever, Dean looks back up at the ceiling and says, "I am. Kinda."

He feels Cas shifting and propping himself up on his elbow, and then he's in Dean's line of sight. Dean's gaze is drawn to him, like all of him has been since the moment they met, and Dean can't believe he just has this now. He has a boyfriend, and it's Cas, and he's looking down at Dean with stars in his eyes and a comforting smile that actually works because it's Cas.

And then Cas is leaning down and softly pressing their lips together, and that's also something Dean can’t believe he gets to do: kiss Cas good morning and good night and at any moment in between, kiss him I'm sorry, kiss him we're going to be okay, kiss him I love you.

"I love you too, Dean," Cas says once they've pulled away, and Dean didn't even realize he'd said it out loud, but it doesn't matter. "And you don't need to be nervous. I'll be there with you."

The thought should be a thousand times more nerve-wracking, not just going to Pride but going to Pride with Cas on his arm. It's not nerve-wracking at all, and he soon drifts off to sleep.

Friday goes by faster than it should. The six-hour drive to Sioux Falls, although packed in a car with five people, goes by in a blink. They stop for provisions before getting to Jody's, filling up on backpacks' worth of snacks.

They get to the house and are met with endless hugs and excitement to match. Patience, Alex, and Jody are already working on dinner for the bunch, while Charlie, Donna, and Kaia are running around prepping for the next day and dragging along a hesitant but nevertheless happy Claire. Dinner is chaotic and loud and there are way too many people at the table, and Dean has to step outside after a while.

He sits on the back porch steps. Claire joins him. She's holding a beer, he's not. He hasn't been drinking for a few months now. They don't talk, but she leans her head on his shoulder and they stay there a while, looking at the stars.

When they go back inside, Claire sits back down in her spot at Cas's left, across the table from Dean, and leans on his shoulder for a while too. It's her way of saying she cares, of saying I missed you without really saying it. Jack sits at Cas's right, talking excitedly with Patience about some tv show or other, and the image fills Dean with such fondness that he reaches over with his foot, presses it to Cas's ankle, and keeps it there for the rest of the night.

Dean, Cas, Jack, Sam, and Eileen spend the night spread out around in the living area while the girls sleep in their respective rooms, and Dean is only slightly less nervous as he falls asleep holding Cas’s hand.

---

The nerves all come flooding back as he’s parking the Impala the next morning.

They’re not able to get even remotely close to Phillips Avenue since the streets are so full. They park the three cars that all twelve of them came in as close as they can and then have to walk for another twenty minutes. From blocks and blocks away, people walk and holler and greet them excitedly, many of them trying to circle this swarm of flanneled individuals that are taking up a whole sidewalk. Granted, Dean and Claire are the only ones in their usual kind of outfit. The rest of the bunch is wearing as many colors as they could compile from their closets, half of them are wearing face paint, and the other half are carrying an assortment of pride flags.

They fit right in.

The walk toward the main avenue of the parade is kind of a blur for Dean. He knows he waved at a few people, some friends of Alex from high school joined the group at some point, and Jack already grabbed a snack from his backpack.

The actual parade is also kind of hazy. Getting out of the house that morning had been probably even more chaotic than the night before, so they’re a bit late and the parade has already been going for a good half hour. On top of that, they accidentally merge into it not quite at the starting point but a bit further down the road, in between a decked-out pickup truck and a group of people with dogs. Music is blaring, the dogs are all barking, a big float rides a few yards in front of them, and hundreds stand on the sidewalks recording on their phones and cheering them along.

Dean’s not sure they’re even supposed to be in the actual parade. Maybe they’re supposed to be on the sidewalks? Is this right? What is happening, what is he even doing here?

He doesn’t notice how heavy he’s breathing until Cas is squeezing his hand and beckoning him to meet his eyes. He does, and the blue in them, as imposing as the Atlantic, drowns out everything else around them. “You’re okay, my love,” Cas says. It’s a fact. As long as Dean is with him, he’s okay.

On his other side, Dean feels someone link their arm around his. It’s Charlie, and she’s beaming at them, her cheeks almost as red as her hair. It brings Dean back to reality, grounds him, but he’s okay now. He’s not alone, and he’s meant to be here.

He’s proud to be here.

The parade leads up to a sloping park, and at the lowest point of it, there’s a stage where Dean assumes someone will MC for the afternoon, or maybe perform. It’s grandiose in its simplicity, kind of like a Greek theater, with everyone settling down on the grass around it, expectantly.

“We’ll be right back,” Dean hears Sam say, and he turns to find they’re all set to spend the afternoon, towels laid and backpacks off (save for his). “Jack wants to go meet the drag queens,” Sam says with just a bit too much glee before he and Jack take off.

“It’s not just Jack,” Eileen smiles and follows.

Cas is already sitting, eating one of the PB&Js he packed as lunches for everyone. Jody and Donna are settling down as well and Charlie’s taking a dozen pictures, but the rest of the girls are all standing. “We’re gonna go check out the vendors,” Claire announces, and they start to take off as well.

“Be careful, please!” Dean calls after them, but they pay him no mind. He turns to Charlie. “Hey, your majesty, keep an eye on them will you?”

She smiles, bows gracefully, and heads in the same direction.

Jody stands and grabs Dean by the arm, beckoning him to talk in private for a second.

“What’s up?”

If Dean knows Jody at all, and he does, they’re on the brink of a mom talk.

“Look around, Dean.”

“What for?”

“Just look,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Please?”

So, at her request, Dean starts taking in the environment. Now that everyone is gathered, he can actually see all the people that came out (heh) for the event. There are church groups, pet shelters, skateboarders, and rollerskaters. Drag queens are already taking pictures by the stage, and at least two people are wearing unicorn heads. A few vendors’ tents and food trucks surround the park, and rainbows completely dominate the scenery. There are elders, and kids, and all kinds of families and couples, and everyone looks… happy. Free.

And Dean is here with them. He is one of them.

There’s no danger, no monsters of any kind. No one to judge him, hurt him, call him sick in the head.

He finds Claire’s blonde head amongst the sea of shoppers at the edge of the park. She’s holding hands with Kaia and has one of the biggest smiles Dean has ever seen on her face. There’s no shame in it, and she’s not in any danger either. Things are different now, and she has the freedom to be herself that he never had at her age.

He has it now too. He can be himself.

Dean doesn’t realize he’s about to cry until Jody pulls him down into a hug.

“Dean, I am so proud of you.”

And then he cries.

---

They spend the afternoon laying on the grass, eating, drinking, and enjoying the festivities. The girls come back from the vendors’ tents after a full hour, and most of the bags on their arms are Charlie’s. She gets Cas a mug that says bee yourself in rainbow colors with an image of a cartoon bee, and she gets Dean a button pin that says AC/DC in pink and blue. There’s a meaning behind that apparently, and Dean decides he’ll look it up later.

Jack memorizes all the drag queen’s names. Donna takes a million pictures. They trade numbers with a few people.

There’s a big fireworks show just after sundown. It starts to get windy and a bit chilly, so Dean grabs the nearest pride flag and wraps it around himself. Cas, the perpetual freak who just doesn’t feel temperature apparently, is wearing a t-shirt and shorts and smiling at him unabashedly.

“What?”

“That’s the bisexual flag.”

So it is. “Shut up,” Dean says, but he’s smiling too. “You want in on this?”

He doesn’t wait for Cas to respond before he wraps it around his shoulders as well. The fireworks continue.

“You know,” Cas says after a beat. “As beautiful as they are, pyrotechnics are extremely damaging to the environment.”

Dean can’t help but laugh because of course, Cas would say something like that in a moment like this. He laughs and laughs and regrets being the only one to have heard that; then again, he’s the only one who could’ve found that funny.

He laughs a bit more, wipes a tear, and sees that Cas is still just solemnly watching the show.

“Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?” He replies and then turns his head.

Dean wants to kiss him. He wants to kiss him so bad. Then he remembers where he is, physically and in his life right now, realizes whom he’s surrounded by at this very second, and decides that he can.

So he does. It’s not unlike the way he kissed Cas when they rescued him from the Empty. Granted, there’s less sweat, blood, adrenaline. But just like that day, they’re both on the ground, and the gesture catches Cas by surprise. Just like that day, Dean pulls Cas in gently by the back of his neck and there’s no hesitance or fear. Just like that day, he just does it, presses their lips firmly together, and relishes in the taste of Castiel, in the feeling of the person he loves most in this world kissing him back.

The one big difference is this: that day marked the beginning of the rest of his life. Today? Today is just Dean’s first Pride.

[veggietales-shitposts]

documenting Larry and Archibald’s relationship in every episode (1990′s)

Episode 1: “Where’s God When I’m S-Scared” (1993) - in the first-ever Silly Songs with Larry, Archibald interrupts Larry’s water buffalo song because it’s “too silly” and gets very passionate and up in his face about it. imo I think Archibald just can’t handle his feelings for this silly little cucumber and that’s his way of dealing with it. 

- Larry and Archibald star alongside each other in Daniel and the Lion’s Den, where Larry plays Daniel and Archibald plays King Darius. King Darius is very fond of Daniel and proudly promotes him to be his husband second in command. King Daniel also expresses deep concern for Daniel after he is thrown into the lion’s den. I know they are both playing roles here but I don’t think the acting was that hard imo I really think this was the beginning of their relationship. 

Episode 2: “God Wants Me to Forgive Them” (1994) - this episode was kinda bad and really hard to watch but here we go - Bob and Larry recall that one summer (many years ago, clearly before the first episode took place) when they owned a boat and gave people tours. Archibald (who was apparently a millionaire) was on the tour along with his wife (we’ll talk about that later). Larry crashes the boat because he’s gay and can’t drive and Archibald’s wife complains that it ruined their vacation (possibly honeymoon??). Everyone eventually forgives Larry, and Archibald is the first to claim “we still like you Larry”. - I’m pretty sure Archibald and his wife are now divorced because we never really see her in any other episodes. I think that’s also why Archibald is no longer a millionaire. 

Episode 3: “Are You My Neighbor?” (1995) - In The Story of Flibber-o-loo, Larry gets shoved into the sand by the scallions. The mayor (Archibald) walks by with the doctor (Archibald’s ex-wife) and instead of stopping to help Larry they SING AND DANCE WITH EACH OTHER!? the drama!!!  - this whole episode just really drives home the point of “God made everyone special” and “love your neighbor, even if they are different” so uh. yeah there’s that

Episode 4: “Rack, Shack, & Benny” (1995) - Archibald is not in this one but Larry is very silly and gay and it’s a great episode just in general

Episode 5: “Dave and the Giant Pickle” (1996) - In Silly Songs with Larry, Archibald plays the role of Larry’s therapist while Larry sings about his lips 

Episode 6: “The Toy that Saved Christmas” (1996)  - cute Christmas episode but nothing gay happens, moving on 

Episode 7: “Silly Sing-Along” (1997)  - just a sing-along of all the songs that have happened in episodes up to this point. while we don’t really establish any new relationships here I have a feeling it might set the stage for episode 11 (we’ll talk about that later)

Episode 8: “Larryboy! & the Fib from Outer Space!” (1997) - this is the first time we see Archibald playing the role of Larry’s butler, Alfred, but it’s never really established why Larry even has a butler in the first place. I mean is Larry even rich? I think it makes sense for Larryboy to have a behind-the-scenes assistant when he’s being a superhero, but a full-time, live-in butler? Personally I think it’s just a cover up for the fact that they are literally just living together. There is even a scene where Larry and Alfred are sitting next to each other on the couch playing Candy Land. Who plays board games with their butler? While sitting next to them? On the couch? - Alfred and Larry share their first fight as a couple in this episode, when Larry is supposed to be out looking for space aliens and he can’t find any and wants to give up and come home. Alfred insists there are aliens and Larry must keep looking to protect Bumblyburg, but Larry doesn’t listen and comes home  - Of course the aliens attack, so Larry goes out to fight the alien only to find that Alfred has tricked out his ride “in his spare time” (a labor of love)  - Alfred accidentally pulls the plug out of his computer, cutting off communication between him and Larry right before Larry is about to be eaten by the alien. Alfred becomes very emotional, screaming at his computer to reboot, but the information loads just in time to save Larry  

Episode 9: “Josh and the Big Wall!” (1997) - Archibald once again interrupts Silly Songs with Larry, this time to criticize Larry’s cebu song because apparently a good old fashioned projector slideshow is not enough of a “multimedia event”. Larry is used to Archibald’s antics at this point because they live together now, ignores his interrogations, and continues the show.  - Larry plays the role of Josh, and Archibald plays a commander of the Lord’s army who appears to Josh in the middle of the night. Josh falls facedown in front of the angel. There are definitely some...expressions exchanged here I mean wow like I know they are supposed to be acting in this one but again I think some of those expressions were genuine  - my headcannon for this episode is also that it was performed/filmed “live.” In the beginning of the episode, Junior Asparagus helps Bob introduce the show because Larry was “tired” from the last show and they were letting him sleep in. But instead of saying “roll film,” Bob tells Junior to close his eyes and use his imagination and I think this is when they bring in the set and perform it like a play. So the expressions exchanged between Larry and Archibald are seen in real time, and Larry’s reaction to Archibald is genuine because he is actually seeing him dressed in armor, literally shining from the stage lighting instead of a special effect being added later for video. I also like to imagine that they didn’t have a dress rehearsal so they were both seeing each other in full costume/lighting for the first time.

Episode 10: “Madame Blueberry” (1998)  - oh shit y’all, this is where it happens! SILLY SONGS WITH LARRY IS CANCELLED!! I am so glad I watched every episode in order because the tension, the DRAMA, everything leading up to this moment!!!  - Larry is literally all dressed up, set ready and everything when Archibald interrupts his segment, letting him know *in front of everyone* that it has been cancelled, in part due to what happened last time. Archibald even leaves poor Larry in a freaking bear trap for crying out loud, replacing his segment with Love Songs with Mr. Lunt which has some serious 80′s vibes

Episode 11: “Silly Sing-Along 2: The End of Silliness?” (1998) - alright here we go folks the climax of the season  - the episode opens with Larry sitting at a diner during a storm, having nightmares recalling Archibald’s criticism of Larry’s cebu song and cancellation of Silly Songs with Larry. The server notices Larry crying and asks him what’s the matter. Larry replays the cebu song on the jukebox and then cries about it to the server. - Archibald enters wearing a trenchcoat that hides his face and carrying a briefcase. He is followed by his ex-wife. Archibald turns around, keeping his face hidden, and sees Larry crying but Larry does not notice him.  - the server, unable to cheer Larry up, asks him again what’s wrong and Archibald finally reveals himself. Archibald and Larry share some very dramatic looks. Archibald plays the clip of him cancelling Silly Songs with Larry, followed by Love Songs with Mr. Lunt. - Archibald admits fault for Larry’s disposition while also trying to explain himself. He then reveals what’s in the briefcase: a petition from Larry’s fans to bring back Silly Songs with Larry. Archibald, overcome with feelings for Larry, hops up onto the counter to passionately declare his feelings reinstate Silly Songs with Larry. Once again the expressions exchanged between these two are just priceless. 

Episode 12: “Larryboy and the Rumor Weed” (1999)  - In the season finale of the millennium, Larry and Archibald are now back together, as Archibald once again plays Larryboy’s husband “live-in butler,” Alfred. But the drama is not over yet!  - After Larryboy defeats a bandit, Larry invites Alfred out on a date for pizza to celebrate. Alfred says he would love to, but politely declines as he will be volunteering at the local elementary school the following morning. Larry smiles wistfully at the thought of his husband helping out at the school and they share a tender exchange of “goodnights”.  - The evil rumor weed overhears this exchange and becomes jealous of their gay happiness and decides to start a rumor that Alfred is a dangerous homosexual robot - Larry and Alfred, blissfully unaware of this rumor, are seen gardening together the following morning. When they find out about the weeds (still unaware of the rumor), Alfred is very excited to help Larry because it involves gardening. You can also see some drawings of the background of their house and one of them is a rainbow.  - Larryboy goes underground to fight the mother weed and loses contact with Alfred. They both freak out and Alfred goes to save his husband on his gay little European scooter.  - Alfred is attacked by an angry mob because he’s a dangerous homosexual robot and seized by the rumor weed, who then turns into a flower after the townspeople decide he is not dangerous, but actually a nice man. Larryboy crawls out of the sewer and reunites with his love for all to see. 

for the early 2000′s episodes click here

[coffeeteaitsallfine]

ok.... it’s Vampire Boyfriend, Live Free or TwiHard time

(disclaimer i dont actually really talk about S6x05 live free or twihard, it just sounded catchy)

No, Castiel is not the archetypical vampire boyfriend but he is a very Edward vampire boyfriend-- Seasons 6 - 8 in nice little arc. No, he is not lustful (just in subtext). S6-8 (& a lil before that) Cas is heavily the outcast. He is not impure traditionally (until he gets those leviathans!! sick ahaha sera!!!!!fightme) but he does have a crack in his chassis. Cas doesn’t think about sex the way humans do but it’s not really about that. Human feelings let alone feelings for humans are sinful (hellooo nephillims being abominations) they’re just “mud-monkeys.” To the angels, Castiel’s love for humans is worth giving him lobotomies over and over. Falling in love with one is the worst sin (“the very touch of you corrupts [Castiel]”). He is thus outcasted! (this was all written pre-s12 so go with it)

Now, in twilight the sex subtext isn’t subtext, it’s repressed because this is a good little Christian novel of course. Edward the vampire is constantly repressing his thirst and they’re only able to be together with ease once they’re on equal footing. I’ve reread it just this year. It’s repressed and not just in Eclipse when he won’t have sex with her. Bella CLEARLY has a sex dream and Edward knows about it but they don’t talk about it. Anyway, the text is the whole “I’m a killer bella” not blood drinking though. He is repressing that so it’s under control. NO no Edward is a danger magnet literally just crushing her with strength or luring other people to kill her. Castiel’s violence pre-s6 anyway is framed as holy and because heaven commanded it, but the slaughtering of angels for no good reason? unforgiveable. Cas doesn’t tempt dean in any lustful way but just the fact that he’s Gay and in love is already too obvious subtext as it is thanks to S4-5, bringing sex appeal or tempting imagery here would be too obvious or overdoing it i guess and works for us so it doen’t come off as predatory I don’t think. Meanwhile for the proxy Meg Castiel is the pizza man. (whereas s9′s answer to that is...nah he’s the babysitter apparently lol ? lets not read into it). Note as I’m editing: Eve literally eve is a character is S6? I forgot this but oh my god make it stop.

Then in S7 Cas is all “I deserved to die” because he killed a lot of angels and bad people as Godstiel (hello eddie boy’s serial killer murder streak if you didn’t pick up on this yet). Then, obviously, he is not even deserving of LOVE he’ll just hurt everything and everyone around and probably dean too. Cue the early S8 New Moon subplot culminating in fallen angels because we all know the third ingredient for the spell that would expel angels from societyheaven and lock the door behind them, was an angel falling love with a human. At the same time, his angel grace is taken away from him, making him a human no longer “pure” or without sin in the eyes of heaven like adam. the first to fall causing all the angels to fall with him.

Now this doesn’t quite work the same way for dean from dean’s perspective cause why would it. He’s not the Laura/Lucy to Castiel’s Carmilla/Dracula. (This makes Benny’s placement in Purgatory for the love triangle (literally) so in contrast like Benny IS this story’s Jacob) He’s not scandalized by the prospect of falling love. He’s got complicated emotions & thoughts is scared to for vulnerability reasons plus his own sexuality issues but I beg you to see that as separate and not over think it-- Twilight is very repressed, Dean is extremely repressed, poor Cas. But! Dean feels completely “pure” in purgatory & wants nothing more than to find the angel the entire time. He is Bella Swan thinking the killer/monster is an Angel (see: Twilight Ch. 23 “The Angel”), the only angel. All the other angels (vampires) are evil dicks but not my angel :) Mine is powerful, strong, psychic, and sexy. he’s beautiful and perfect and will never love me the way i love him unless we are the same species, equals if you will. 

Castiel is the vampire boyfriend, but not in the old, traditional way rather in the inevitably “modern” (2000s--early 2010s) take, where the vampire isn’t preying upon your sexual purity but the wholesome family ideal (ie lisa/ben, raking those leaves, the cookouts ah yes how american)....ehh yikes sera gamble? s6 reeks of homophobia thanks, thanks a lot. Except well, also, dean doesn’t really want that life not entirely. Neither did bella either tbh until the end but lets not get into that, except twilight is the ��wholesome” ending, the opposite in every way to traditionally evil (lol ykwim...) vampires. The show eventually moves into a middle space, a synthesis of horror and home-- where it should’ve ended as we all know. Anyway, while writing this I remembered the beginning of Season 6, when the modern version of the vampire boyfriend arc kicks in, was also when they had the episode “Live Free or TwiHard.” Is this coincidence? probably, maybe, idk. I started this post just wanting to make casward parallels cause it sounded right and I’m a deancas/bellaedward truther for the Jokes, a Good Time, and the hot takes. 

except no, with Carver finishing up S8 (bookending the arc nicely with the two gay truckers being soulmates), Benny is the old world would be tragic vampire boyfriend and they couldn’t last! Sorry benny it’s been real. Castiel is the modern twilight vampire boyfriend, without predatory vibes and since religion is more of a plot device than a theme, less Mormonism and heteronormativity. Plus this reading is just sexy and cool and I like to have fun 

[violenceenthusiast]

Dean Winchester made me gay (but not like that)

Not to be sincere on main but with the Supernatural finale fast approaching I’m thinking about what this stupid, wonderful show has meant to me over the years, particularly as a queer kid.

I started watching Supernatural while season 5 was airing, at age 12. And the really wild thing is that I started watching before I was even on tumblr SO unlike most shows, I didn’t start watching based on whispers about queer representation– I just,, thought it looked like a cool show I might like.

So here I am, a middle schooler with no clue why the worst part of every day was getting dressed, why I felt funny? confused? nervous? when girls gave me hugs, why I didn’t quite fit in with the boys but didn’t quite fit in with the girls either, and so much more (aka standard Queer Kid Confusion lmao). 

Now here I have to talk about the netflix documentary Disclosure for a second (which, if you haven’t seen is one of those things everyone should watch). The doc is largely a timeline and analysis of trans representation in tv and film as narrated by people in the industry who are trans themselves (tight as hell). But there’s this one part where this guy is illustrating why queer representation in media is so important, and he tells us that “80% of people don’t know a trans person in real life” (paraphrasing from memory) so for many people, tv and film are their only point of contact and point of reference for what it is to be trans and/or queer. and then he delivers the real kicker– “the same is true for queer people”. When I tell you that rocked my world to hear him say that... because he’s right!! 

I was lucky enough to grow up in a pretty lefty, Jewish community but even then my information about queerness was limited to a) gay exists and b) gay is ok (in the abstract) but c) gay is the thing boys call each other when they step out of line. After all, it was still the 2000′s. I didn’t know anyone gay in real life, perhaps my only exposure to queerness was captain Jack Harkness when he kisses the doctor in s1?? but most importantly I didn’t know anything of the subjective experience of queerness.

And so I start watching this show. And there’s Dean. He loves powerfully and protects those he loves. He is strong and smart and clever and funny and accomplished but despite that is so so tied down by, and beholden to, what others (john, sam, society) expect of him and the roles he needs to play as a result (father, mother, brother, savior, protector, man’s man). He is proud of yet embarrassed by his interests that fall outside of these expectations– Sam, as the bookish one who ~went to college~ gets the reputation of the nerd but we all know the real nerd is Dean, with his cowboys, sci-fi, and chick flicks, his books and his movies and his music. AND on top of all that, he has nowhere and no one that’s just his, save perhaps for the impala but even that is not really his (yet). And for me, as a queer, Jewish, nerdy kid who didn’t know they were queer or why they didn’t feel they fit anywhere... Dean Winchester was everything. 

Enter Castiel. 

And my world expanded. I watched as Dean, a fellow aquarius (lol), found safety and home in Cas. I watched their uneasy alliance, backed by an unshakeable bond, turn to trust then to friendship and rapidly into something more, something ephemeral, something,, profound. Love fundamentally changed them both. Their love for one another specifically changed them both. I watched as they moved heaven and earth (and hell) for each other, literally. But most importantly I got to see it all through Dean’s eyes. Of course we see much of Cas’s experience of events but for much of the early seasons of Cas’s run on the show he (and his interiority) is kept from the boys, and from us, at a bit of an arm’s length. Dean is the main conduit for us as the audience, and he certainly was for teenage me. 

I watched as this scared man who had to grow up too fast found solace in another man, in a way that was (in many ways literally) alien to him. I saw his panicked moments and second-guessing and fidgeting and furtive looks and wayward glances. All the things that us destiel truthers (🤡) pointed to at the time were, for me, not simply about shipping but about seeing myself in Dean. Seeing my own reluctance to be near women, my own hyper-awareness about how close we were standing and where I was looking and how long I was looking for. My own discomfort in and eventual shedding of the prescriptive gendered roles and behavior I had been handed. Dean falling for Cas and the beauty of it, how naturally and how easily they fit together against all that was working against them.. it allowed me to see something in myself and for myself that I could never have imagined alone.

So for all the (rightful) criticism of Supernatural and destiel as awful queer-baiting, for me, a kid beginning to see themself for the first time through this story and these characters... it never hit that way for me. Literally what was I supposed to do but go stupid go crazy and think about nothing but Dean and Cas and Supernatural for the rest of forever?? I never in a million years would have expected or could have hoped for the 15x18 confession and I’m scared and excited for what will happen in the finale but no matter what happens... I’ll forever be grateful to this show for giving me the imagination to see myself as I am.

[im-just-a-random-fandom-girl]

You know what I want?

Domestic Stucky. In Westview. Hear me out.

(First of all, Endg*me can go fuck itself. Steve’s whole thing? Never happened. Forget about it. Wipe if from your mind. We’re rewriting that shit.)

(Also, this isn’t a fic even though I know it starts out looking like one lol. This is just stream of consciousness thoughts. I would put way more effort into actual writing)

The weeks after the final snap were hard. 

Bucky was back, and it felt like every weight that had been dragging Steve down for the past 5 years was lifted. He was mentally and physically exhausted, but his soulmate, his best friend, was at his side again, pulling him into a warm hug, tight and breathtaking. 

It was still hard; Steve was a very different man than he had been 5 years ago, but Bucky was calm and understanding. There was still much to mourn for, too. Tony and Nat were gone. Any sense of stability that had been established during those 5 years was immediately destroyed, and Steve was sure it would take many more years to try to fix the damage.

And Wanda. When Wanda was snapped back into existence, her grief was palpable. What had been 5 terrible years for him had been 5 minutes of bliss for her, relief that she wouldn’t have to try to live in a world without Vision. Steve knew the feeling. Even though he didn’t quite understand Wanda and Vision’s relationship (he was a robot?), he can’t really judge because he’s been pining after his childhood best friend for the better part of a century and still hasn’t managed to do anything about it.

To be brought back to life was the worst trick you could play on Wanda. Her sense of peace was snatched away from her and she was throttled back into a world that had nothing in it for her. Everyone she loved was dead. Her powers still deemed her a threat, even if she had played a crucial role in the fight against Thanos.

Steve wanted to be selfish and just run away with Bucky, but he couldn’t leave Wanda, who had become the little sister he never had.

He worried about her. Even as those who had been snapped away started to come to terms with the fact that 5 years had passed, Wanda wandered around, just a shell of her former self. Sometimes she fell into fits of rage and despair, using her powers to smash everything in her room at the compound or snapping at anyone who tried to distract her. Most of the time she was just blank.

Just a month after the return from the blip, Wanda strolls into the kitchen and announces that she’s going to S.W.O.R.D. headquarters. Steve’s head snaps up. Her eyes are hard and determined, and Steve belatedly realizes that every muscle in her body is tense as she readies herself to fight anyone who tries to stop her. Sam is the first to speak up.

“Okay, kid,” he breathes out nonchalantly, “you need anyone to go with you?” Sam is good like that. Always knowing what to say to make someone feel comfortable and cared about, but not coddled.

“No,” Wanda grits out. A breath, and then, softer, “thank you.”

Glancing around to see if anyone else had any objections, Wanda walks out of the compound.

Steve lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was still holding, but the room is still tense. He whips around to Bucky, eyes wide with concern.

Before he can even say anything, Bucky reaches out and puts a hand on his shoulder, “Don’t worry. Come on, we’ll watch out for her.”

So, with a tight smile, Steve stands up and lets Bucky lead the two of them out.

It’s not until they are halfway down the street in an inconspicuous car, trailing a little ways behind Wanda’s red sedan that it occurs to Steve to ask what they’re doing.

“We’re just going to follow her to make sure she’s alright, pal. S.W.O.R.D. has Vision’s body, and it’s not a good idea for her to be alone, even if she thinks it’s best.”

“She’ll be mad if she realizes what we’re doing.”

“Good thing one of us is a reformed Russian spy,” he smirks.

Steve’s heart skips a beat at that familiar face, one that he hadn’t thought he’d ever see again, and blushes, ducking his head. If Bucky notices, he doesn’t say. They carry on in a comfortable silence.

As they pull into the S.W.O.R.D. parking lot, Steve watches Wanda march into the headquarters. He turns to Bucky, "Are we going to follow her in?"

"You can't, that's for sure." Steve scowls. "It's not entirely your fault, pal, but you're don't exactly blend in easily. But I'll go in to keep an eye on her if you want me to."

Steve considers the offer for the moment. As much as he wanted to watch out for Wanda, he knew that if she found out, it would hurt her more. She would think that he didn't trust her, and that he was following her to make sure that she didn't lose control of her powers and hurt people. He didn't want to make her feel more ostracized than she already was.

"No, we'll just wait," he says, shaking his head. His eyes never leave the entrance to S.W.O.R.D. headquarters. 

The wait for Wanda feels excruciatingly long. Steve doesn't trust that S.W.O.R.D. is any better than S.H.I.E.L.D., and he honestly has no idea what they've been doing with Vision's body for the last 5 years. A renewed sense of guilt washes over him.  If he had tried to fight S.W.O.R.D. harder for Vision's body, Wanda wouldn't be here, fighting through her grief to see him one last time. After the snap, Steve didn't feel like he could waste his dwindling energy scrutinizing S.W.O.R.D's every move, but he now wishes he had. He could have spared her this pain. 

Sensing the anxiety bubbling up within him, Bucky reaches out, pulling Steve's hand into his own. "It's not your fault, Steve," he reminds him gently. Steve squeezes his hand in response.

Wanda walks out of S.W.O.R.D. headquarters 20 minutes later. She seems drained and tired, but her expression reveals nothing. They wait again before following her out of the lot.

When she turns right, away from the direction of the compound where he assumed she would return, Steve frowns. "Where is she going? The compound's the other way."

Bucky shrugs. "I guess we'll see."

Steve has no idea where they are until he sees a sign declaring "Welcome to New Jersey!" not far down the highway.

"What the hell is she going to Jersey for?" Bucky gasps, pulling a loud laugh from Steve's chest. It's absurd and ridiculous, but it reminds Steve of when they were kids in Brooklyn, shitting on the Yankees and the state's annoying accent, among the plethora of other abhorrent traits about New Jersey. Bucky starts laughing with him, shaking his head. 

They finally arrive in a small, run-down town called Westview. Steve can't imagine why Wanda would come here.

Her red sedan comes to a stop in front of an empty plot of land, and she steps out, clutching a folded piece of paper to her chest.

"Oh, Christ... Shit," Bucky mutters. Steve is about to ask what he's thinking when he finally sees Wanda's walls crumble. 

Her shoulders shake with the force of her sobs, and she falls to her knees with a cry of desperation. A red orb of her twists around her body and Steve shoves the door to the car open, desperate to get to Wanda. 

"Steve!" he hears Bucky cry out behind him, and it's the last thing he hears before Wanda's powers implode around her, and his vision is blotted with red.

Remember! Wanda made all of her characters in the hex as similar to their actual lives as possible to ease her control of them! SO, it's only natural that her powers would pick up on the fact that Steve and Bucky are very obviously pining for each other and put them in a loving relationship while they are in the hex. Since they are both under Wanda's control, their storyline would happen mostly independently from what we see in WandaVision. I wouldn't have there be any smut (since I'm not talented enough or comfortable writing it myself) so there wouldn't be any non-con or any serious dub-con while they are in the hex. The idea is that both of them want everything that they are made to do (be partners, hold hands, kiss, do other couple-y stuff), but they are concerned because they think the other would feel disgusted and not want it.

There unfortunately were not any gay characters on TV in the 50s and 60s, so I would write these two "episodes" with loose ties to other sitcoms from those decades and do some research into how gay couples lived during these time periods. Basically, reimagine my own 50s and 60s sitcoms with realistic portrayals of a gay couple.

For the other decades, I would then base their relationship off of those actually depicted in sitcoms from that time. 

It should be noted that, while I have actually watch a lot of old sitcoms, I haven't watched many of the ones I mention. If I every decide to write this, I would do a lot more research on these shows (and watch some episodes!)

70's - I would likely draw from Barney Miller, Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, and Soap.

80's - Roseanne is pretty iconic, but I would be a little hesitant to write it after all of the controversy a couple years ago. Love, Sidney may also work, but I don't know enough about the show.

90's - Will & Grace, of course! I don't know anything about Northern Exposure, but the little bit of research I've done suggests that also may be a source of inspiration.

2000 through early 2010s - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Modern Family. (I loved The War At Home, but it doesn't really fit)

When Wanda releases everyone from the hex, Bucky and Steve had some serious miscommunication issues and angst. Both feeling exceedingly guilty about their actions, despite the fact that they had no control over them. They got a taste for what domestic life would be like together, and they are frustrated that they enjoyed it since they believe the other one did not. When Wanda explains that her powers gave everyone jobs, relationships and roles in society that were equally comparable to those they had in real life, Bucky and Steve both realize that the hex would not have put them in a relationship if it wasn't what the other also wanted. Yay! They make-up (and make-out, lol).

I seriously want to write this, but I really don't have the confidence that I will be able to execute it as I imagine it. If someone wants to work on it with me (be it we both write it or you just want to offer some brainstorming help/story guidance), I would be thrilled! Just so long as there isn't any pressure to get it done in a time crunch. I just want this writing experience to be fun! Also, if you are interested, I swear I’m a better writer than what was just exhibited, but I really only spent an hour or so on it, so it’s obviously not my best work.

Anyway, if you have any thoughts, suggestions, advice etc or just want to scream about WandaVision and/or Stucky, please feel free to PM me or stop by my inbox. It would make my day :) 

[popculturebuffet]

Courage the Cowardly Dog: The Mask Review (Comission for WeirdKev27)

I’m back all you happy people! Not for a full week this week, as i’m still on vacation but for reasons I won’t get into we ended up back in town after my family drove 11 hours to where we were going... and why yes we did have to drive back another 11 hours and why YES it was like living in a living nightmare. Point is I had some extra space so in addition to covering the new Owl House later today as I figured “Why wait a few extra days when i’m here already and this way doing that one as well as Saturday’s episode?” i’m doing this one for Kev. So with all that out of the way let’s talk about Courage the Cowardly Dog. 

Courage the Cowardly Dog.. is one of my faviorite shows and one I need to rewatch more often. While it took me a long ass time to really get into horror films, first going through comics then finally dipping in my toes after seeing IT, still a great film sequel sucks don’t watch it, I still didn’t mind spooky cartoons and absoultely loved Courage as a kid> It scared the shit out of me sure but the hilaroius, horrifying, and sometimes just plain weird tales of a constantly terrified but courageous purple dog, his sweet and gullible owner, and her stupid, obnoxious, and often LITERALLY too dumb to live husband as they ran into all sorts of nasty’s ranging from a cat turning people into furniture, a french duck conman, a zombie film director hoping to kill them, THE MAN IN GAUZE THE MAN IN GAUZE KING RAMSEEEYYY, a roach asking courage to get “his stuff”, a living germ, a weevil that butters people up by serving them while serving up their brains to himself, a goose god, a storm goddess, a tornado that reverses age, a hair growth formula that makes the user explode, a vodoo snake, a gerbil that runs a kitschy amusment park and sucks people up in vacums to do weird shit... ANYTHING and everything could happen and the show could tilt from silly surrealness to utter nightmare in an instant while never loosing i’ts charm or style. It’s a one of a kind almost perfect show.. and I only say ALMOST because for whatever reason their only recurring POC characters.. are an Indian and Chinsese sterotype, the latter of whic his a massive jerk. 

Yeah I don’t expect to see Vindaloo and Di Lung in the Scooby Doo crossover or any full revivial spinning out it. 

But yeah as you can tell this series is simply precious to me and I intended to do this one last month for Pride but my schedule simply overwhelmed me. It’s why i’m cutting back from 6 to 5 reviews a week when I come back in full next week. But since I had space I offered Kev part of it, and he accepted and choose this one. And really with the series making at least a one time come back, and hopefully more, with  aformentoined crossover, I thought this was a perfect time to cover it. By the way for those curious i’m really excited for said crossover, even without series creator John R Dilworth involved, as the writer DID write Bravo Dooby Doo and for mystery inc and does seem to have a good grasp of courage judging from the trailer, and they did get both suriviving cast members of the main trio back for this. As a side note i’m also watching through EVERY Scooby Doo film I haven’t seen leading up to this with my good friend @jess-the-vampire​ for fun after watching a few with her last week. I’ve got 20 to go, with three more planned for tonight, so I shoudl be all caught up by the time SON releases in September. Might do something with that at some point. 

So why this episode? Well besides being gay as hell, it’s also one of my faviorites, and as a kid it was a close tie between this and Hunchback of Nowhere. It just had so much emotion and depth to it and that was even with me never realizing it was an allegory for abuse or involved two characters who were as gay as they could possibly let two characters be in the early 2000′s without saying it. it’s a truly great episode i’m glad to present to you under the cut, so join me won’t you?

Content warning: This review talks about domestic violence for a portion. So if this is a trigger for you, please avoid this review. 

We open in the middle of Nowhere.... which is oddly fun to say. Muriel is working in the Chicken Coop and Courage is just outside it just minding his own buisness when the latest weirdo to disrupt his quite life and try to murder him shows up. 

In this case it’s...

My nightmare for the last few weeks. Yeah something I can always give the series is character design: The monsters always have a unique and intresting look from them: a floating brain with organs and eyes, a monster made out of jelly, a uniquely retro robot, a giant weevil who uses politness as a way to get away with sucking the life out of his clients, a giant roach grifter, a three headed space duck, a roasted space duck, a bayoo snake, a gerbil, and THE MAN IN GAUZE SANTA CLASUSSS. Every villian felt fresh and exciting evne the ones that were direct homages to things. So Kitty here is no exception. 

Unlike most villians though Kitty dosen’t seem to have a clear plan apart from “Beat courage senseless with a kitchen sink because she thinks “Dogs are evilllll”. It’s a nice combo of funny, because her methods of tormeting our hero are slapstick, and disturbing as they leave real welts and bruises on our hero and she’s projecting her anger, continuting the chain of harm by hurting someone who did NOTHING wrong and blaming all of Dog Kind for it. 

So naturally Muriel.. misses Courage’s beating, ignores Kitty saying “Dogs are evillll” which is so much her catchphrase it wouldn’t look out of place on a bart simpson t-shirt

And invites her in for Dinner assuming her to be Courage’s friend because apparently all of courage’s friends nearly beat him to death. Look the woman has a heart of an especially kind whale and the self preservation instincts god gave an especially dim schnauser. The fact Kitty isn’t an elder god, a living germ,  a supernatural serial killer or Le Quack but in a wig means this is one of her better days.

So our heroes, sympathetic antagonist and Eustace all have dinner where Kitty reveals why she’s here and why she hates Dogs so much: She’s “best friends” with Bunny, a cockatoo.. no of course it’s a rabbit. She clearly is in love with her but Bunny got caught up with Mad Dog, a domestic abusing literal and metaphorical dog who threatned to murder Kitty if he smelled her around. So now Kitty’s miserable bereft of the love of her life and taking it out on all dogs.. and on Eustace and Muriel as she airs their dirty laundry, Eustace being unable to fix jack shit and  Muriel’s tendency to night snack. 

You’d THINK the fact Eustace has tried to sell Muriel on more than one occasoin would be the bigger scandal here but hey. We then get some more slapstick animal on animal abuse as Kitty continues to tourture Courage via a fish then using him to unclog the toilet, the latter leading to Eustace walking in and then awkwardly leaving. 

Not only that Kitty is staying in Courage’s attic, meaning he can’t go to his computer for help, a nice way to keep him out of the plot since otherwise Computer would break it in half. Courage then spies the most horrible thing imaginable.. Kitty.. IS A CAT. 

Well okay not bill, this week, bu tstill the sight terrifies him and he tries to portray her as a monster and warn Eustace and Muriel worried Kitty’s going to try and kill them. Muriel is of course unworried and is sympathetic to the poor girls plight even with how she’s acted, getting that Kitty.. is just lashing out. Also Courage might be racist towards Cats.. then again the only one we’ve seen in series is Katz, so like Kitty’s own hatred it’s understandable if something they should both work to ending. Hating an entire race because one member did you wrong is NEVER a good look. 

That being said while Courage being paranoid because she’s a cat is a bit please don’t be racist bud, him being paranoid in general isn’t. At this point in the series our main trio has been attacked or targeted by a Chicken from Outer Space, twice, a Cajun Fox, A Con Artist Duck (Thrice), A Weremole, Two Alien Ducks (Who while well meaning still kidnapped muriel), a Roma Chihaua (Whose also helped the multiple times, god Bless Shirley), a Goose God, a giant sapient cockroach who tried to get Courage to do somnething illegal, probably,  sell coke, a gerbil doctor, Eustace as a Kangaroo Monster, Bullfrogs, A Giant Vulture, A Fishonarry, Beavers, A Sand Whale, A Deer, and a goat. And that’s JUST the other animals. And only like a third of those are sympathetic if that. So yeah it’s kind of undrestandable to think the latest random animal to try and ruin his life who hate shim specifically wants to kill his owner and the guy who lives with her Courage keeps alive so she dosen’t die of grief. 

So Courage locks them in their room and Kitty in hers, steals a Mouse kitty owned and sets off to find some way to stop her. His plan is to go to the police which itself is bad idea but he dosen’t have other options and is convinced Kitty will be some sort of criminal. Again given that rap sheet above, it’s not as bad a plan as it sounds. 

To save time Eustace and Muriel have a subplot about getting out, Snipe at each other, eustace escapes and tries using his tools, Muriel eventually bobby pins her way out because she has to pee real bad (the reason they need to get out in the firs tplace) while eustace tries to free kitty with all his tools before trying to blow up the door real good. it actually leads to a sweet moment where Muriel helps him and convinces hi he can fix things. Kitty is gone by this point as she noticed the  Mouse was gone and decides to .. get on a train ...

Back at the actual plot courage goes to a Diner run by his friend CHARLIE!

If you don’t know who that is it’s fair as his name only comes up in this one. He’s the giant horrifying looking mouse who shows up to help courage aka

Courage: Thanks Mr Mouse! Charlie: No Prob. 

I just love him: the fact he’s courage’s friend when the dog BADLY needs some more, the fact they have a weird unexplained history that means Charlie will help Couarage whenever he gets it, or the fact he’s this big grotesque rodent.. whose easily the fourth nicest person in the series as a whole behind, in order, Muriel, Courage himself, and the Hunchback. He also has a Diner in this one which I think is his last apprance and makes me feel like he has an arc: he started out with no real job, next showed up working for a shipping company and now owns his own Diner. Or maybe he does both jobs at once. Warner has not yet greenlit a Charlie spinofff show and I cannot for the life of me figure out why. 

Charlie explains Kitty’s backstory: She and Bunny were lesbians, Mad Dog got jealous, Kitty was miserable and Bunny’s still being abused. Courage realizes that while he may still fear Kitty, and for the rest of the episode still fantasies about Kitty murdering Muriel (he dosen’t care Eustace also dies because why should he), it’s clear part of it is just him just gathering up the will to keep going: he KNOWS he’s doing the right thing but he needs to keep pushing himself.. and in most scenarios.. Muriel IS his motivatoin. This kind, sweet, naive woman adopted him, raised him and protects him whenever she notices Eustace is abusing him. SHe only BROUGHT Kitty in because she’s so nice, and if she dies it will only be because she was too kind, like it always would be if Courage wasnt’ there to save her. So even when Muriel clearly probably isn’t in danger.. he uses her anyway because that’s how he does, because that’s how his brain works.. and because if she knew what he was trying to do.. it’s what sh’ed WANT from him. It feels less like Courage is still afraid of Kitty and more he’s tryign to convince himself to keep going. 

And the odds as always are against him as he heads to the wrong side of the tracks, literally. Love a good pun, and finds Bunny unhappy with Mad Dog, clearly abbused and the portrayal of abuse.. disturbingly accurate. Mad Dog tries to portay himsef as reasonable, flies into a rage about kitty, and Bunny TRIES to escape hooking his collar onto a nearbye hook.. only to find Mad Dogs goons waiting and then doing SOMETHING to her. What is never established apart from it ending with her in a flower pot, but the fact we don’t know and poor Courage witnesses it and is powerless to do anything, much like many watching abuse as you can only do so much and Courage would loose in a straight up fight with them, only makes it worse. 

Thankfully Courage CAN help and part of the reason I love him so much is.. he always will: no matter what a foe has done to him personally if their not some grim murderous monster.. he’ll help them. If their just a person whose a bit messed up, whose family pressured them into building dams, or enslaving humanity, or are simply some orphans trying to surivive, or a sasquatch who got lost, or an ownder missing her dog.. he’ll help. Because at the end of the day Courage’s real weapon isn’t his bravery or pain tolerance... but his heart. His heart and love for muriel drive him.. how could he turn his back on someone else who just wants to be loved and not abused? 

So he naturally breaks in, digs her out and outwits Mad Dog’s goons in a great gag, simply turning out the lights and then pummeling them. He then escapes with Bunny and takes off towards the train tracks. Mad Dog then persues though in his car and our heroes are ssemingly screwed.. only for Courage to pull a bad ass, utterly heroic movie as he’ swont to do: he JUMPS into the car, steers it towards the oncoming train, and clearly isn’t ure if he’ll get out in time. He does, and mad dog is smashed into it, ending his tyranny and freeing Bunny from the chains of abuse. 

Kitty then shows up having been on the train ...

And reunites with her love, Courage happily basking in it and Kitty thanking him realizing her hatred.. was wrong. Not all dogs ar ebad and she shoudln’t pidgenhole an entire race because of one bad experince. With that Courage returns home, our heroes ar ehappy and Mad Dog is fucking dead now so all in all one of the happiest endings of the entire series. Also Eustace is using Kitty’s mask as a saftey mask. Heh. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode is excellent. It has deeper meanings than I realized as a kid an dhandles abuse in a real stark and horrifying way, with Mad Dog’s only fantastical element being that he IS a dog. That’s it. Sure he gets smashed by a train but still, the fact the villian isn’t some form of literal monster, just a musecly metaphorical one makes the abuse that much more impactful, and thus Bunny’s liberation at the end and reunion with Kitty that much sweeter. thi sis an excellent episode and I highly recommend watching it. It’s on HBO Max and i’ts well worth your time, for the represntation and for the sheer quality. I’m still amazed they managed to sneak a gay couple into this show, and did so in a way that utterly holds up. Still one of my faviorites and still worth your time. See you at the next rainbow. 

[ilovejevsjeans]

LGBT+ History Month: Mike Beuttler - Formula 1's only known gay male driver

Mike Beuttler raced against many of the all-time Formula 1 greats in the early 1970s - and then disappeared.Even the British driver's closest motorsport friends heard nothing from him over the final 14 years of his life.Then, in late 1988, they learned from his family that he had died in Los Angeles of Aids, aged 48.Beuttler remains the only known gay male driver to have competed at the highest level of motorsport.

He did so at a time when F1 was an especially macho environment. James Hunt, the 1976 world champion, famously had the phrase, 'Sex, the breakfast of champions' embroidered on his overalls and many drivers had reputations for being womanisers.There were no organisations such as Racing Pride, which launched in 2019 to promote LGBT+ inclusivity in motorsport.

So how did his friends view him?

"Mike gave it absolutely everything on track - he wasn't a natural talent but he worked hard," former motorsport journalist and friend Ian Phillips told BBC Sport.

"I knew he was gay, but it didn't matter in my world."

The racing world of the 2020s is a very different place to that of the 1970s.Matt Bishop, a Racing Pride ambassador and Aston Martin F1 chief communications officer, said: "In the early 1970s, people didn't talk about being gay.

"In the United Kingdom, it was only in 1967 that homosexuality was legalised between two consenting adults in private.

"Why would Beuttler be out and proud? He wouldn't. I don't think the word 'out' really existed when he was racing.

"Beuttler did bring a girlfriend and different women to races, perhaps it was a convenient disguise, because it stopped the tongues wagging."

'Blocker' Beuttler's racing career

Beuttler raced in F1 for three seasons, from 1971 to 1973. As well as Hunt, he faced other world champions in Sir Jackie Stewart and Niki Lauda.His path to the sport began to open up after he had success in the late 1960s in Formula 3 and then moved to Formula 2, most notably winning at Vallelunga in Italy in 1971.Phillips met Beuttler in 1970, and got to know the driver well as he competed in Formula 2.

"He was quiet compared to Hunt or [British driver and motorcycle racer] Mike Hailwood and an incredibly friendly guy, but beneath that was a fierce determination and he took racing immensely seriously," said Phillips.

Beuttler got the reputation of being a very rough racer, because he did not like being overtaken and would block anyone who got in his way - and the nickname 'Blocker' was born.In 1971, Beuttler made his F1 debut at the British Grand Prix in a privately funded March car.His career was financed by stockbroker friends and in 1972 he raced as a semi-works March driver, with Lauda and Ronnie Peterson as his team-mates at the Canadian Grand Prix.

"He probably wasn't ready for F1 when he joined, but had a great team of backers," said Phillips.

"He made up for it with his determination and every time he climbed out of the car you knew he had been at work - he was sweating and his eyes were bulging."

In 1973, Beuttler achieved his best-ever finish, seventh in the Spanish Grand Prix. Overall, he scored five top-10 finishes in his career.But then the UK was plunged into financial turmoil by the 1973 oil crisis, and his team did not have the money to stay in the sport.Aged 34, Beuttler retired from racing.Ann Bradshaw, a motorsport PR consultant who first met Beuttler in the early 1970s, said:

 "There was no stigma with Mike, he was a nice gentle person - everyone knew he was gay, it wasn't a secret and it was accepted."

'He just disappeared, completely'

After Beuttler left motorsport he moved to the USA, spending time in San Francisco and Los Angeles.

"I suspect it would have been easier for him to live the lifestyle he wanted in LA and San Francisco, whereas being gay in London was a more secretive thing," said Phillips.

"He probably wanted to find his own generation where he could be open and free."

Beuttler's life in the USA remains a mystery, though there are reports he went into the business world.

"He just disappeared completely," said Phillips. "I don't know anyone who had any contact with him, apart from family."

What is known is that Beuttler died of Aids on 29 December 1988.

"His sister phoned me when he died," said Phillips.

"She phoned out of the blue one day and said, 'I am the sister of Mike Beuttler and I am very sad to tell you that he died of Aids in LA.'

"He was such a nice bloke."

'LGBT+ people have always been part of motorsport'

Since Beuttler's death, several motorsport drivers have come out as gay. Le Mans class winner Danny Watts came out in 2017, a year after retiring, while in the W Series there is LGBT+ representation on track in fellow British drivers Abbie Eaton and Sarah Moore. Richard Morris, co-founder of Racing Pride and a driver for the Praga team in the Britcar Endurance Championship, came out as gay in 2018, when already established in motorsport.

"I took my boyfriend to a race before I came out when I was racing in Formula Ford and he was there as my friend," said Morris, 30.

"I had women around me at tracks who were my friends. Some people knew I was gay but I wasn't out - I think that is very similar to Beuttler's experience."

Morris said coming out to the motorsport community has been a positive experience.

"I already had a boyfriend for seven or eight years but I had not told people in motorsport," he said.

"You worry it might affect your relationship with mechanics, you worry you might get extra scrutiny on social media and you worry sponsors will think it is a risk.

"But my team was very supportive and lots of other drivers started putting Racing Pride stickers on their cars - it has been brilliant."

Beuttler's legacy

With LGBT+ people being more regularly accepted and celebrated in motorsport now, how is Beuttler remembered today?

"Regarding his position in the pantheon of LGBT+ sporting heroes, it is time he is rehabilitated," said Bishop.

"If he was alive, he would have been interviewed about Section 28 and gay marriage."

Section 28 was a law that affected England, Wales and Scotland, passed in 1988 by a Conservative government that stopped councils and schools "promoting the teaching of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship".

There were mass protests by LGBT+ campaigners and the law was repealed in Scotland in 2000, before England and Wales did the same in 2003. Same-sex marriage became legal in England and Wales in March 2014, in Scotland in December 2014 and in Northern Ireland in January 2020.

"It is really interesting to look at Beuttler's story now - it shows LGBT+ people have always been part of motorsport and they have been really successful," said Morris.

"It also reminds us of the challenges faced." (X)