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wttcsms · 2 days ago

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⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖࣪ hallmark holiday !!

ᝰ.ᐟ tis the season to sit by the fireplace and indulge in cheesy, cliche, ever-so-predictable hallmark movies where we know the main couple will always get their happily ever after. alternatively: a scenario post detailing the cliche holiday romance you and your fave would be ♡ྀི ( fem!reader & sfw )

starring keiji akaashi, atsumu miya, shoyo hinata, seishiro nagi, shoei barou, yoichi isagi, jinpachi ego, noel noa, rin itoshi, oliver aiku, kento nanami, naoya zenin, porco galliard, colt grice, levi ackerman

:¨ ·.· ¨: `· . haikyuu films coming to a theater near you ౨ৎ

⋆⁺₊❅. dedicated to you starring keiji akaashi synopsis keiji akaashi finally gets his dream promotion to the literature department — sort of. see, first he's given what the company calls a "trial run", where they're testing to see how well he'll do. if this book that he edits makes it to the bestseller's list within its first month of publication, he gets the position permanently. fail, and he doesn't just get demoted — he gets fired. this dream of his becomes a nightmare whenever he realizes the author they're assigning to him is you — famous literary critic turned author. well, almost an author. this will be your first book you're ever writing. see, you've got a bit of a reputation. your reviews of novels, whether they'e indie books available only on kindle unlimited or works considered to be modern classics, are nothing short of scathing. rarely is there ever a book that seems to impress you. and while your reviews are valid, a group of scorned writers (who are all beloved by the booktok community, which, in your opinion, invalidates everything they do by default) publicly challenge you: if their writing is so bad, why don't you publish a book and show them how it's done?

exclusive sneak peek! "so you're my editor?" you raise an eyebrow at the man sitting across from you. he's wearing a brown blazer, his hair neatly parted with gel, and he has such a mild-mannered aura about him that you want to groan in agony. of course, the only shmuck who'd be willing to touch your book (book is generous; you barely have half of a first draft) would be some dweeb who's probably been out of work for like, the last year. "yes. i'm keiji akaashi. we spoke over email." he reaches into his workbag, probably to hand you a business card that you'll end up tossing in the cafe's trashcan. "oh. from the tone of your emails, i was expecting someone..." you don't finish your sentence. "someone what?" he asks. "it's nothing." you wave your hand, as if to tell him that the comment was useless anyway. "listen, i'm sure i'm not your ideal client, but we don't have to keep meeting. i'll make your job easy by making sure you never have to edit or touch a single letter on my drafts. just let me handle this my own way, and i'm sure—" "no." you don't normally let people interrupt you, but the shift in his tone makes you pause. you stare at him curiously, only this time, you notice that keiji akaashi doesn't seem so mild-mannered right now. he continues. "i'm not sure where you got the bright idea that you would just write this book on your own, but you don't make a deal with a major publishing house just to go about the project like all the indie authors you criticize in your little column. the minute you signed that contract, you became my responsibility." akaashi looks you in the eyes as he tells you, "so from this point forward, your book is about to become our book. and i only plan on producing bestsellers." you smile at that, leaning forward and matching the intensity of his gaze. "good. because i only plan on writing a bestseller."

⋆⁺₊❅. make it to christmas starring atsumu miya synopsis break-ups can be tough. coming home for the holidays can be tougher. combine these two situations, and throw in the fact that no one can know about said break-up, and this might be the toughest situation to go through. here's the deal: you and atsumu, who've been together for the past four years, are deemed "most likely to get married". your friends, family, and even strangers on the internet all think you two are the couple that will make them believe in the power of love again. with this type of pressure, neither of you are willing to wreck the holiday spirit by announcing your break-up, and really, mama miya just got a particularly bad diagnosis. the last thing either of you want to do is break her heart some more. so, you both agree to pretend to still be together, all for the sake of "saving christmas", so to speak. but then, mama miya walks in on the two of you in the kitchen at the worst possible moment. atsumu is down on one knee, kneeling in front of you. finally, some good news this season: her baby boy is getting married to the love of his life.

exclusive sneak peak! "atsumu, this whole thing is a mess!" you whisper-shout at him, leaning down and examining the space beneath the floor kitchen cabinets in search of your missing earring. "well, you can't back out now!" he whisper-shouts back, crawling on all fours to help you look for the damn earrings osamu's new girlfriend gifted you. "what would we tell everybody?" "how about the truth?" "we will tell them the truth! right after christmas." "you idiot, your mom has her next appointment the day after christmas! the whole point i agreed to this was so that way we wouldn't crush her with a whole day of bad news!" "you're right." your back is turned to him, but even without looking, you know he's nodding his head. "we should just wait 'til the month's over then." "that's even worse!" now you finally do turn around, crossing your arms against your chest. "i really think this was a bad idea. we need to figure out how to come clean before this whole thing blows up in our faces." he sighs, knowing that you're right. you always are. it's what he loves — loved; he's not quite sure if he's still allowed to use the L-word concerning you — about you. then, he perks up, catching a glint of your missing earring. propping himself up on his good knee, he presents the ring to you earnestly. "oh!" you grin, happy that atsumu found the damn thing. now, osamu's girlfriend will be properly placated. before you can reach for it, three things happen in rapid succession. one: the kitchen door swings open. two: mama miya assesses the situation quickly, and lets out the biggest shriek of excitement heard 'round the world. three: this whole thing definitely just blew up in your faces.

⋆⁺₊❅. v for valentine starring shoyo hinata synopsis you hate valentine's day — after you found out your (former!) boyfriend of three years was cheating on you on this very special holiday, you see what the 14th is all about. commercialized "love": packaged in bright pink packaging and red hearts that get sold to unsuspecting fools. however, as a wedding planner, you still have to love love. it's just hard to whenever the wedding you're planning is set for feb. 14th... and it's to your ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on you with. you know it's petty and ridiculous and horribly immature, but you're plotting and scheming ways to ruin their wedding without it being tied directly back to you. the only obstacle in your way, though, is the bride-to-be's annoying cousin who immediately catches onto your plans and seems intent on putting a stop to you.

exclusive sneak peek! "what do you think you're doing?" you jump up, startled at the sudden intrusion. everyone else is supposed to be occupied, oohing and ahhing at bridezilla's reception dress reveal. "nothing." you say, in that tone of voice that makes it very, very obvious to anyone who can hear that you were definitely up to something. "really?" hinata asks. "because it looks like you're trying to convince the dog to tear up my cousin's high heels." busted. (you're too flustered and trying to come up with an excuse as to why there's peanut butter on his cousin's designer heels that you don't notice the way hinata looks like he's trying to hold back his laughter.)

:¨ ·.· ¨: `· . blue lock films coming to a theater near you ౨ৎ

⋆⁺₊❅. married by christmas starring seishiro nagi synopsis as the only daughter of the mikage business empire, not to mention having an older brother who could care less about the family business, you should be rightfully inheriting a good majority of mikage corp. on the day of your twenty-fifth birthday, you anticipate the metaphorical keys to your family's empire. instead, you receive the worst news of your life: reo's going to lead mikage corp starting on christmas day (a gift that he never asked for), and since you're still unmarried at the decrepit age of twenty-five, your grandparents are demanding you start going on blind dates with the men they've found for you. when you angrily confront your parents, wanting to know why everything will be handed to reo, who doesn't even want this responsibility, the answer is clear: they need a man to be the face of mikage. if you marry someone, even if you're the one pulling the strings from behind, you can still inherit the business by having your husband look like the one in control. your parents know that you don't want to get married, but what they don't know is that you're willing to do anything to get what you've worked so hard for. you didn't spend years abroad to study at the best business school in the world and to build connections all for it to go down the drain. but then you realize that all these men your grandparents found for you won't be willing to just sit back and let you do all the work. they want power of their own. where in the world could you possibly find someone you can trust to be married to in these conditions? and then it dawns on you: your older brother's best friend! from what you remember of him during high school, nagi wants nothing more in life than to just be able to make easy money and relax, left to his own devices. he's never taken advantage of reo, so he'll probably stay loyal to you. and a quick google search reveals that nagi's never even been in a public relationship. he's perfect.

exclusive sneak peek! "you bought me a ring?" you stare at the velvet box resting on your living room table, eyeing it like a bomb that might explode at any minute. "huh? oh yeah, why?" nagi's voice is cracking through the speaker of your phone. you're not sure where he is; you don't really know much about your husband-to-be, you realize. you should get him to email you his daily schedule. you plan on making note of that in your outlook calendar, after this call. "i didn't expect you to get me a ring." you frown. "forward me the invoice for it, and i will make sure to reimburse you. in the future, please refrain from making any purchases related to our relationship unless i clearly allow it and expect it. christmas in front of my family, and public birthday celebrations, for example, are occasions in which i'll allow gift-giving." "you're sayin' my future wife doesn't want gifts?" nagi wants to choke reo. he's the one who said you expected to be spoiled, and all the guys on his team seem to be adamant that buying gifts for your significant other is the way to go. if he knew you were going to start talking business around him, he wouldn't have gone through the hassle of finding a decent jeweler in this city. "this is a business partnership, nagi. not a romantic relationship. in business, you buy gifts only to bribe. are you trying to bribe me right now?" no, he thinks. he was only trying to make you happy.

⋆⁺₊❅. a king for christmas starring shoei barou synopsis serving as king but hated by a small, powerful group of witches, the ruler of the kingdom, shoei barou, is cursed and expelled to another world where his tyranny will not be tolerated. the only way to return back to his world is for him to learn benevolence and empathy. they certainly gave him a challenge; it'll be hard to be kind and empathetic whenever you're magically transported to the twenty-first century without a single clue as to how the world works. luckily, he ends up transported here, unconscious, on the front porch of a tired, overworked, graveyard shift ER nurse. you signed an oath to protect and save all lives, so you can't exactly kick the large man passed out by your front door, now can you?

exclusive sneak peek! "where is your horse?" barou asks you, following you around your house. him being your shadow is odd, considering how he towers over you so much, he's actually casting a shadow onto you. seriously, he's blocking the sunlight peeking through your blinds. "my horse? you think i'm a horse girl?" you whirl around to meet him, nearly bumping into his muscular chest as you do so. he makes a face, not sure what to make of your exclamation. "how will you travel into town?" "like everyone else. with a car." you hold up your key fob, and he immediately snatches it from your hands, staring at the fob curiously. "you travel using this?" he points to it, and you nod. "witch." he says. "what did you just call me?" you stare at him, stunned. "witch." he repeats, still holding onto your key fob. "to travel in a contraption so small... magic is the only reasonable explanation. you must be a witch. why didn't you tell me this sooner? we can use this—this car, and you can take me back to my kingdom at once!" he straightens his back, holding your key fob out of your reach. "witch, i demand you transport me back home." "i should've kicked you when i had the chance." you mutter, wondering how hard this stranger banged his head to forget what a car is.

⋆⁺₊❅. the perfect playbook starring yoichi isagi synopsis bastard munchen is forcing all of its players to dedicate their time during the holiday season to an approved community outreach initiative. isagi sees nothing better than to return to his hometown, and help volunteer to coach the local little league team that's 1) underfunded and 2) currently coached by the only person kind enough to volunteer: you, the fresh-out-of-college brand new, bubbly elementary school teacher. yoichi might not be the biggest believer in team work makes the dream work, but you don't make a bad teammate... not in the slightest.

exclusive sneak peek! "isagi," you frown as you stare at the whiteboard, trying to make sense of all the x's and o's and arrows he's scrawled on them. "you want to train this group of seven to nine year olds... to become strikers?" he nods, pleased that you're finally starting to see his vision. "yes, exactly!" "the recreational elementary-aged youth team... is going to undergo a simulation of what you went through as a high school boy?" "well, it'll be tweaked accordingly. with your guidance, of course! it'll be a more tame version, but i'm sure the results will be the same." when he smiles at you like that, you can't help but want to give in. "and besides, i'm proof that project blue lock is a very beneficial program. look how i turned out!" you think back to when you curiously searched him up on the internet. "top 10 isagi crash-outs on the field" was not the result you were expecting. but he's been nothing but kind and enthusiastic around you and the kids. it's not like he's some egotistical maniac who only cares about soccer, right? "okay." you nod slowly. "project baby blue lock it is, then."

⋆⁺₊❅. cease and assist starring jinpachi ego synopsis former collegiate athlete with a professional career ahead of you, your dreams of becoming the world's best women's soccer player gets crushed the minute you suffer the worst injury possible. now, you spend your time trapped in an office, working for the japan football association, waiting for the decades to pass you by so you can finally retire and die. until the head of the association pulls you to his office and lets you know that you're going to be going undercover; apparently, jinpachi ego is creating a soccer program that's supposedly going to change japanese soccer, and he wants you to report back to him and the jfa so they can anticipate everything ego plans on throwing at them. hired to project blue lock as ego's personal assistant, you spend practically the whole day with him. he's annoying, never listens to your advice, mansplains everything, and refuses to eat anything resembling a vegetable unless you force it down his throat. he's also the only person to match your passion for the sport, and the only one to call you out for not continuing to chase your dreams. the more time you spend by his side, the less and less you want to report to the jfa...

exclusive sneak peek! "sir," you grit your teeth, clutching onto the files in your hand because you know if your hands are unoccupied, you'd be sprinting across the room so you could personally choke jinpachi ego out. "i have an mba from the top business school in this country. i've played soccer since i was a child, and was one of the most decorated d1 players back in college. i know i'm just your assistant, but i can promise you, i am capable of far more than heating up your cup ramen." he doesn't even turn around his chair so he can face you; instead, he's still laser focused on the massive monitor in front of him, his eyes occasionally flickering to the other dozen screens surrounding the room. he doesn't even acknowledge your words. "are you seriously going to ignore me?" you snap, strangling the poor papers in your grasp. "are you done speaking? last time i tried to answer back, you yelled at me for not letting you finish." he still isn't looking at you, but you're certain he sees the nasty scowl that crosses your face. somehow, ego is capable of seeing everything. "forget it. you're impossible." "and you're a failure of a player." he tells you, right before you can storm out. "excuse me?" "you keep talking about how good you were at soccer, yet you never even bothered to pursue it after you got out of physical therapy. good in college doesn't mean anything when it's been so long. that's why i don't listen to you." he turns his chair, finally staring at you. "when you prove to me that you're still as good as you claim you used to be, maybe i'll take your advice. until then, get out of my office until i call you back."

⋆⁺₊❅. the only exception starring noel noa synopsis at thirty-three years old with not a single serious romantic relationship for the past decade or so, and with society basically treating any single woman in her thirties like a cow put out to pasture, you have come to terms with the fact that you'll be a spinster. it's fine. you have a successful career in a male-dominated field, you're still as beautiful as ever, and it's not like romantic love is going to fill the void. you have a supportive family and even more supportive friends; you don't need anything else. at thirty-five years old, with a successful soccer career and a body still performing at peak physical fitness, noel noa is considered to be one of the most eligible bachelors in the world. the public considers him to be at his prime, even. and yet, he seems to want nothing to do with romance. he plays his sport, he does a damn good job of it, and then he goes back to his isolated home in the french countryside to spend his days and nights entirely and utterly alone. for two people content to spend the rest of their lives without a partner, the minute you walk into his life as the new assistant coach for bastard munchen, you both slowly start to realize that maybe, you both could just try being alone together.

exclusive sneak peek! he doesn’t pay you any attention whenever you enter the locker room; after all, this isn’t the first time one of his teammates’ girlfriends walked in here unannounced. he can only hope that your heated rant and accusations of cheating don’t take a long time because practice starts in ten minutes, and noel noa is known to be particularly anal when it comes to sticking to a strict schedule. “hey!” igor says, being the only one bold enough to block you from taking another step further in the locker room. “you can’t be in here, even if you are dating or related to one of the players.” “well, that’s certainly a respectable rule, but it doesn’t apply to me.” “i'm the vice captain of this team.” he replies, letting his title to do the rest of the talking. right now, in this room, he’s the authority, second only to noel. noel, who's too busy stretching his legs to really concern himself with something as silly as a female intruder in the men's locker room. the altercation between you two is nothing more than white noise to him. “oh? that’s nice.” you hum, before adjusting the lanyard around your neck so that the little ID card, the one that’s used to allow people entrance into the gym during practice, is showing. it must be brand new because it shines underneath the fluorescents of the locker room. “i’m your new assistant coach.” well, you’ve certainly got noel's attention now.

⋆⁺₊❅. all in starring rin itoshi synopsis even with worldwide fame, rin itoshi still prefers to be left alone. deemed the "prodigal recluse" by the media, no one knows what he gets up to during the offseason. the truth is, rin returns back to his hometown and spends his free time training by himself in the frozen field he used to train in during middle school. he's never been found out here, and that's how he likes it. until you, an ambitious sports journalist visiting your parents during the holidays, gets lost and stumbles upon him playing soccer by himself. you're convinced that this is fate. no one else in your field has ever gotten this close to him, especially outside an official game, and you're begging him for an exclusive interview. you're persistent and annoying, and rin finally agrees, with one catch: you have to score against him on a one-on-one soccer match. (he just doesn't anticipate how persistent and annoying you can be. when you set your mind on a goal, you're going all in.)

exclusive sneak peek! "you have to admit, it's pretty impressive i even kept up this long." you're panting, the palms of your hands digging into your knees as you hunch over, struggling to catch your breath. the icy air makes every exhale visible. rin looks like he hasn't even broken a sweat. "a child could've kept up for even longer." he says, the soccer ball resting underneath his right foot. "if you're this tired already, you might as well just head home and go enjoy your vacation with your family." the and leave me alone goes without saying. "why? intimidated by my shocking athletic abilities already?" you think you've finally got your breathing situation figured out, and you straighten up. "i'm going to get that interview, itoshi." "if you say so." he shoves his hands in his pockets, his own breath visible in the icy air. "i'm ready for our rematch." you tighten your ponytail, giving rin such a fixed, determined stare that it surprises him. you really are serious about this, aren't you? "and don't think about going easy on me." the corners of his mouth nearly turn upwards. he matches your gaze, preparing to shoot the ball. "i never will."

⋆⁺₊❅. meet your match starring oliver aiku synopsis tired of cleaning up his messes and struggling to reform his playboy image, oliver aiku's publicist has to break out the business card locked away in her "in case of emergency" glass case. she's calling in the calvary — you, the celebrity world's most respected matchmaker. every celebrity couple you've set up has either dated for years (and more to come) or even got their happily ever afters by saying i do at the altar. you've got a one hundred percent success rate. you're making the perfect matches left and right. hinge who? when your publicist bestie calls you, begging to help her most troublesome client finally find love and quit playing around, you already know who she's referring to. oliver aiku. he's hellbent on ruining your perfect run, and you're hellbent on finding him the love of his life so he can finally settle down and stop causing your best friend to spend her whole paycheck on migraine medicine. in his hyper-competitive field, he's never quite met someone as obnoxiously stubborn as you — nor has he ever had as much fun playing games with anyone else. it looks like the two of you have finally met your respective match.

exclusive sneak peek! "what the hell is the matter with you?" you glare at him from across the table, but oliver doesn't seem the least bit ashamed. you're not shocked; you don't think he has the capacity for shame. "what are you talking about?" he tries to sound innocent, but it doesn't work. look at him — there's nothing innocent about the man sitting across from you. "i'm talking about you bringing another woman to the date i set up for you!" you hiss, trying to remain calm and not draw attention to the two of you. he takes a long sip of his coffee, dragging out the silence as you wait for his explanation as to why he wants to make things as difficult as possible. "i was just testing her." oliver is smiling. you want to punch him in his stupid face and see if he'll still be grinning at you. probably. he's annoying like that. "during a situation like that, you can tell if the girl's gonna be a struggle to deal with depending on her reaction." "you know what my reaction would be if you did that to me?" you lean forward, and he meets you halfway, also leaning in closer. he's still smiling. you hate his stupid smile. "oh? what would your reaction be?" "nothing. you'd never even get the chance to pull that shit on me. as if i'd ever be dumb enough to go on a date with the likes of you." you lean back in your seat, opening up your phone and furiously marking off girls from your list. the list gets smaller after every one of his failed dates. oliver sits back, too, watching the way your brows furrow as you stare at your screen, not even giving him the time of day. he never stops smiling; finds it hard not to smile when he's in your presence.

:¨ ·.· ¨: `· . jujutsu kaisen films coming to a theater near you ౨ৎ

⋆⁺₊❅. the roadtrippers starring kento nanami synopsis you're traveling solo for the first time ever after your fiancé breaks things off with you to date his 19 year old neighbor. kento nanami's a single father/investment banker trying to make it back home in time for his daughter's birthday. you're both trying to travel across the country, but when a massive snowstorm delays the same flight you two were going to take home, you decide to team up and just travel together to try to make it your respective destinations on time. from weirdos on the train, flat tires on scarily cheap rental cars, and posing as a married couple at a strict, christian-owned bed&breakfast, you go from strangers traveling cross-country together to being connected together in ways neither of you have ever connected with your previous partners before.

exclusive sneak peek! "whoa, you're doing this like it's nothing." you stare in awe as nanami rolls up the sleeves to his button-down, exposing his strong forearms as he turns the wrench, loosening the lug nuts of the flat tire of the rental car. "that's because it is nothing." he tells you, glancing up at you. you're wrapped up in his blazer, but the chill of the outside air still bites at you. "you should go back inside the car and wait for me. i'll be done in a second." "it wouldn't be fair." you explain to him. "you've been doing all the work this entire trip. braving the elements with you for a few minutes is the least i can do." "you don't have to do anything." he looks up at you, his stare bringing heat back into your body. "you don't owe me. i really don't mind helping you. if you really want to do me a favor, then go back inside the car and stay warm."

⋆⁺₊❅. snowed in starring naoya zenin synopsis you've never had great luck, but with your good attitude, you don't let life get you down. good karma finally comes your way when you win an all-expenses paid trip at a luxury ski lodge. this is where your good luck ends. apparently, the ski lodge accidentally double-booked the cabin: you're supposed to be staying there... and so is the rudest, most arrogant and condescending lawyer you've ever met. naoya zenin booked this place to get away from the city and work in peace, away from the incessant nagging of his family and employees. instead, he's met with even more inconveniences, the biggest one being you, some teacher from a small town he's never heard of and couldn't care less about. before either of you can head back to the main lodge to complain, a snowstorm comes rolling in, effectively leaving the two of you snowed in together for the time being. no cell service, no internet, and no one but each other. fantastic.

exclusive sneak peek! "where are you going?" he asks, eyeing your towel and pajamas in your hand. "to go shower?" you point to the bathroom door. after claiming he wants nothing to do with you, and then setting a ground rule that you can't speak to him unless he allows it, you figured he'd just leave you to your own devices. "unless i need permission from you to do that, too." "i checked the water tank. there's barely anything, and even less hot water." "and this is my problem because...?" "i need to shower, too. i know women have a tendency to take hour-long hot showers, but that isn't going to work here." somehow, you find it hard to believe any woman would want to be close enough to naoya to where he can track their shower-time. "fine. i'll take a lukewarm shower for fifty-five minutes then." you reach for the bathroom door handle. "will that satisfy you?" he's up in a flash, his body so close to your own. you've got nowhere to go but to back up against the closed door, trying to get some space between the two of you. "you don't want to know what'll satisfy me."

:¨ ·.· ¨: `· . attack on titan films coming to a theater near you ౨ৎ

⋆⁺₊❅. falling onto you starring porco galliard synopsis when you’re forced to return to your hometown to take care of your grandmother after her hip surgery, you’re roped into volunteering for the town’s fire department charity event. paired with the constant scowling firefighter who rescued you from a tree back when you two were kids and classmates, you’re tasked with organizing the firefighter calendar auction. between awkward photo shoots, bickering over decorations, and trying to outbid a local rival for the best auction spot, you start to see that maybe porco galliard isn't all scowls and shambles arrogance — after all, he's there to catch you every time you fall.

exclusive sneak peek! "no." "it's for charity, galliard." you toss him the santa hat, not the least bit shocked that he manages to catch it without batting an eye. "you're like, morally obligated to do this. unless you want to ruin christmas. that's fine by me, too." "i won't be ruining christmas. you're just a pervert." you gasp. "i'm not the one who came up with these positions!" "you're still going to buy the calendar." he points out. "yeah, for charity! not to actually look at it!" "you sure about that? because you seem pretty damn persistent that i should take off my shirt and let you take pictures of me in nothing but suspenders, my work pants, and this ridiculous hat." "that's the most stereotypical firefighter photoshoot for a sexy christmas calendar!" he pauses. "you callin' me sexy?"

⋆⁺₊❅. the one starring colt grice synopsis colt grice has the worst luck known to man. when it comes to pay-it-forward chains, he always gets stuck in front of a minivan for a family of nine. naturally, the only people who crash into his car are the ones with no insurance. he felt bad for a coworker during a work potluck, stomached some of their disgusting food, only to end up getting food poisoning from it. the only thing colt ever seems to have good luck with is relationships... specifically, his good luck seems to transfer over to the girl he's currently dating. see, the thing is, every time colt gets dumped, his exes always end up finding the love of their lives. all his exes are happily married or in long-term relationships, with all of them finding their soulmates right after breaking up with him. he thinks no one else in the world has luck as terrible as his, but then he meets you. after a conversation exchange during a long line, you reveal that it seems like every ex you have has found their soulmate directly after breaking up with you! which is when you two hatch a plan: in order to help each other find "the one", you both agree to date each other for a period of time and then dump each other, all in the hopes of finally meeting your soulmate.

exclusive sneak peek! "your soulmate is super lucky, by the way." "what makes you say that?" colt turns to his side so he can look at you. you're still laying on your back, gazing up at the stars above. "just... i can't imagine why anyone would want to break up with you. you're honestly the best boyfriend i've ever had." colt's heart jumps at your words. he's glad it's so dark outside; otherwise, you might see the blush creeping on his cheeks. you continue on. "i'm going to be really sad when we have to breakup." he knows it's not in the agreement, but he can't help it. he thinks, then let's not. instead, he swallows hard and makes a half-hearted joke. "don't worry. you'll meet your soulmate soon, all thanks to me." you laugh, but you don't tell him how you're really hoping that he's the one for you.

⋆⁺₊❅. girls just wanna have fun! starring levi ackerman synopsis you're the prime minister's daughter wanting to get the proper college experience during your very last year of university. he's your marginally older, no-nonsense, militant bodyguard. you're determined to check things off your college girl bucket list (skip lecture, eat questionable dining hall food, go to a frat party), and he's determined to keep you safe.

exclusive sneak peek! you’ve been meticulously planning this all week. the perfect outfit is tucked under your oversized hoodie, and you’ve even plotted out the quietest route to avoid any of the creaky floorboards in your family’s massive home. all that’s left is to slip past levi, who seems to have an annoying sixth sense for every bad decision you attempt to make. sliding your shoes on, you tiptoe toward the front door, holding your breath as you slowly twist the handle. almost there. just a few more seconds, and— “you have exactly five seconds to explain what the hell you’re doing.” the deep, authoritative voice freezes you in place. slowly, you turn to find levi standing in the shadows, his arms crossed, one eyebrow raised in disapproval. the flat line of his mouth isn't forming a frown or a scowl, but the disappointment is evident. “levi,” you start innocently, trying to cover your tracks. “i was just—” “if you're just going to lie, don't bother saying anything.” he interrupts, stepping into the light. his eyes flick to your shoes and back to your guilty expression. “where are you really going?” you sigh, crossing your arms defensively. “it’s just a party, okay? everyone’s going, and i’m not some teenager who needs her parent's permission to go out at night.” “you might not need your father's permission,” he says, his voice low and deliberate, “but you do need my protection. and if you think i'm letting you sneak off to some frat house full of drunk idiots without so much as telling me, then you’re dumber than i thought.” you glare at him, your frustration bubbling over. “you’re not my dad! i can take care of myself.” he leans against the doorframe, unflinching. “if you could take care of yourself, you wouldn’t have tried sneaking out like a common criminal." “ugh,” you groan, childishly stomping your foot. “why do you always have to ruin everything?” “why do you always have to make my job harder?” he counters, his tone sharp but his eyes softening just slightly. for a moment, the two of you just stare at each other. then levi exhales, rubbing his temples as if you’ve given him the worst headache of his life. “here’s the deal,” he finally says. “you stay home tonight, and i’ll consider letting you go to the next party — with me shadowing you the whole time.” your jaw drops. “you can’t be serious.” “correct. i never plan on letting you go to one of those idiotic parties.” he says. “now go change out of that ridiculous outfit you're wearing under your sweatshirt, and get some sleep. you've got class at eight.”

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amoeganism · 3 days ago

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UNFORTUNATELY INTERESTED michael kaiser

That weird regular with blond and blue hair stopped showing up to the cafe you work at and coping by watching every clip you find of him online isn't enough. Lucky for you, he's also a weirdo freak who missed you.

tags: birthday special!! crack, loser x loser, ness doesnt ask questions, ness third wheels, ness STAND UP, mentions of circumcisions if you dont fuck with that, reader is a freak, michael is a freak, it cancels out (no it doesnt), 2.6k words of slop, i'm lazy and am going to nap now

A man named Michael orders two drinks from your cafe each morning at seven. It’s a simple order of a mug of hot black coffee and a to-go order of black tea. He sits down at a table farthest from the entrance but still next to a large window pane, sipping on his coffee until it’s gone. Then, he’ll place the empty mug on the shelf with all the other dishes to be washed and take his tea with him, disappearing until the following morning. He isn’t the only morning regular that you encounter but the blond and blue mullet along with the tattoos of intertwining blue rose vines are intriguingly beautiful; every person has a uniqueness intangible by another but Michael’s haunting blue eyes leaves you with uncomfortable curiosity that’s seemingly impossible to be satiated.

He stops showing up three months after his first visit. It kind of freaks you out since you had just come to terms with how you’ve been anticipating his appearance every morning for you to observe him like a scientist observing bacteria under a microscope. Part of you assumes it’s because he caught onto your weird staring and finally rationalized that there’s a creepy barista that’s a little too interested in his ritual of blowing his piping hot coffee four times before drinking or how they’ve caught onto the way he delicately trails his fingertips around the ceramic rim of the mug between every sip. Fortunately for your pride, your question as to why he disappeared was answered by a viral post on your social media feed of your more interesting customer shirtless and calling a group of teens dumb, ugly pieces of shit or something like that. You laughed at the clip before realizing that you really did look forward to seeing him again.

It freaks you out a little bit when a different man shows up at seven in the morning ordering the exact same thing Michael did: a black coffee and black tea but this time, they’re both to-go. He gives his name as Alexis and you can’t help but think his face looks rather familiar. As he waits for his order, he scrolls on his phone and furiously types something before perking up when you call his name.

“Thank you!” he chirps, putting his phone into his pants pocket. “My teammate really likes it here. He asked me to get this for him because he can’t make it. Uh, his name is Michael?”

Your mind clicks into place at the mention of your former customer’s name. The man in front of you is Alexis Ness, the funny little guy that Michael, or rather Michael Kaiser, would exclusively pass to on the field. You’d rather die than admit that you spent a little too long stalking any and all videos of the man you could find—his awful personality was oddly entertaining. “Yeah! He used to come by every morning before falling off the grid.”

You were tempted to ask about Blue Lock, but you didn’t want to expose yourself as a freakish stalker that does background checks on their customers as a hobby. Before you can fall victim to temptation, Ness pushes the glass door open with his back and leaves with a short “have a nice day!”, leaving you with a new guy to dig up info on.

The next morning at seven, you expected to see Ness return to order drinks for Michael, but you were greeted with two men instead of one. One of which, being Michael himself. His hair was put up with a gold claw clip rather than let down and he mindlessly nodded along to the nonsense rambling of Ness. The shirt he wore was loose around the collar, exposing a blue rose tattooed onto his neck and collarbone, a painful yet beautiful placement. Each line and stretch of color was beginning to bloom into his skin as it settled and spread, leaving slightly blurred edges as a result of aging. You had read that he was the same age as you, nineteen, and that made you wonder when he had gotten it done.

“Good morning,” you greeted with a small smile, standing in front of the register with your hands in front, ready to take their order. Directing your attention to the blond man, you attempt to start some kind of small talk, “It’s been a while since you’ve been here. It’s good to see you back. Black coffee here and black tea to-go?”

“I’m impressed that you remembered my order,” he teased, reaching into his pocket for a black wallet and pulling out a credit card. “Have I really made such a big impression on you?”

Slightly irked but also amused, you take his card to slide on the side of the register. “You came here every day for months straight. I think it’d be embarrassing for you if I didn’t remember who you are. It’s not often someone like you comes around and stays.”

“Someone like me?” Michael asks with a raised brow.

“Y’know, tatted up and choppy, dyed hair. You kinda remind me of a peacock; I fuck with it.”

“Nice to know someone appreciates it,” with an exaggerated sigh, he combs his fingers through a loose lock of hair framing his face. “It’s a shame people tend to be so boring and unappreciative of what I bring. Peacocks you say? When I cut my hair, I can put the scraps together and make a custom peacock feather just for you.”

“Oh…I’m so glad to hear that you’re creative and confident? I think this is why you’re a soccer player and not a business owner…or pickup artist…or a customer service worker…or a respected individual.”

The mention of his athletic career catches Michael off guard for a brief moment, ignoring everything else you said like a guy stuck in delusion limbo with selective hearing, but he was quick to recover from the initial shock. “You know about me? I never knew you were such a fan. Do you want me to sign a napkin for you? I don’t offer this to just anyone.”

“I’m good, you can leave my napkins alone. And I think it’s reasonable to see what happened to my former superfan.”

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself, I was here for the superb drinks, not you.”

“Ouch? Be careful what you say, I’m the one making your order.”

As Michael laughed at your interaction, you suddenly remember that Ness was still there, having long been done with reading the menu. Whatever embarrassment you had was replaced by judgement with how Ness was perfectly content and joyful about being left out like a cuck. Athletes are weird, you conclude.

“What can I get for you?” you direct towards Ness, opening up a new order.

“Um, I’ll get a cold brew to-go.”

“Sounds good! Cash or card?”

Shortly after, all three drinks were made and you called both Michael and Ness to the pickup area where Ness grabbed a straw and found a table for the two to sit at. Michael, however, stayed behind, not even bothering to touch his two drinks before talking to you.

“What time does this place close?”

“Six in the afternoon every day except for some special holidays where we either close early or don’t open at all. I can never remember which is which so I bother the owner for every one.”

“Is it just you who takes the opening shifts?”

“Yeah, I work the first hour alone and then my coworkers come in. I get off at three so it’s not too bad ‘cause I get the afternoons and evenings to myself.”

“That’s nice,” Michael muses, slowly nodding to himself. He slides his coffee over to himself and looks at you with a sly smile. “So if I were to take you out for dinner, it wouldn’t be a problem?”

“If you’re gonna kill me? Yeah that’d kinda suck, but if you’re talking about a date…sure,” you laugh at your unfunny joke. Thankfully, Michael either also shares a bad sense of humor, or laughs at you and is mocking you. If it’s the latter, you’ll find a way to get back at him (and it doesn’t have to be ethical). “Um, do you want my number or…?”

“That’d be wonderful, thank you.”

You quickly grab a ballpoint pen and scribble your contact information on a napkin from next to the sugar and sweetener packets, handing it to Michael. His slender hand brushes yours, sending goosebumps down your arm from his cold skin. Outwardly, you don’t show your surprise at the unexpected sensation but the rush it brought made you embarrassingly giddy.

His sharp blue eyes crease along with a teasing smirk on his smooth lips. “And here I was thinking I’d be the one signing a napkin for you. How nice of you to prove me wrong, love.”

“Already starting with the pet names? That’s bold.”

“Should I stop?”

“Do whatever you want. It’s kinda funny how eager you are to be with me.”

“I can’t deny that.”

Michael carefully folds the napkin with your phone number, placing it in his wallet and meets Ness at the table he chose, bringing his beverages along with him. It didn’t take long for the pair to finish and leave, but not without Michael sending you a sly wink your way. The gesture was kind of goofy and if it were anyone else, would give you second hand embarrassment from its corniness. From how your heart skipped a beat, you silently cursed him out for bypassing your bitterness and working his way into managing to fluster you.

—

“Hey, a customer asked for my number this morning,” you tell your coworker, Yui, as she ties an apron around her waist. Her brown eyes lit up at the news as she whipped her head around to face you. One of the first traits you learned about her was her nosiness and although it could easily become aggravating, you had always found it entertaining, making her one of your favorite people to work with. Her schedule, unlike yours, alternated between working morning shifts and afternoon shifts, making you see her a couple days a week. Yui finishes her uniform by putting on a baseball cap with the cafe logo on it, something you learned that she would take off within an hour from how sweaty it’d make her.

“Who?! Did you give it to them?! Did they text you yet?! That’s so exciting unless they're creepy and weird and in that case, I hope they get pushed in front of a subway,” Yui fires at you, her eyebrows raised with intrigue. “Well?”

“It’s the soccer guy that I told you about. The one who used to come here every day and then dropped off the face of the Earth.”

“Oh! Michael Kaiser? Wait—he asked you out?! Holy shit. That’s insane! Did you say yes? Did he text you yet? You should text first—wait you can’t because he’s the one with your number.”

“I guess he technically asked me out? I mean, he just said ‘hey, what if I took you out for dinner’. If he doesn’t text me I’m going to kill him.”

“Fair, fair.”

You got a notification from an unknown number on your way home, asking you if you were the barista at your cafe. Relief flooded your body, overriding the tension you didn’t know you had. After shooting a text back, confirming your identity and asking if the message was from who you think it is, it takes five seconds too long for him to reply and in that time you consider buying a pair of scissors for a surprise circumcision.

MICHAEL: How do you feel about 6 P.M. tomorrow?

YOU: fine with me

YOU: where should we meet

MICHAEL: I can pick you up

MICHAEL: Consider it a surprise

YOU: can you even drive

YOU: are you going to kidnap me

MICHAEL: NO

MICHAEL: PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

YOU: omfg you want me so bad

YOU: [address]

YOU: https://www.wikihow.com/Neuter-a-Dog (this is a warning)

An alarm indicating you have ten minutes before Michael picks you up blares from your phone but you stay put, stupidly blinking into your vanity mirror as if it’s going to do anything to your appearance or do anything to turn your phone off. The gum you were chewing served as a stress reliever and something to make sure your breath wasn’t rancid but it quickly turned into garbage bin gunk as soon as you bit your tongue. Everything was starting to piss you off and you suppose you’d start with silencing your phone.

Even though you’ve worn this outfit before, you twirl around like a dog chasing its own tail, trying to find any uncut tags or a seam that magically broke in the few minutes it spent putting it on. Several stabs to your ego outweighed the taste of blood in your mouth as you realized you were losing your cool over a guy named Michael so in an attempt to calm yourself down, you disregard any advice of breathing exercises and imagine Michael picking his nose while loudly grunting as he takes a shit. To your utmost horror, you don’t get the ick.

Exactly one minute before the clock hits six, you get a text from Michael saying that he’s outside your apartment. You stumble to get your keys, making sure your bag and everything you need is with you. Despite not spending any time wondering what his car would look like, the obnoxious electric blue car had you blinking several times and pinching yourself to confirm if what you’re seeing is real. One part of you feared that the literal beacon would attract a violent mob of paparazzi or creepy fans and it’ll end up in all your private information being leaked with a box of shit on your doorstep but another self-absorbed part of you thought the gesture was flattering and that deep down, you were thoroughly enjoying the attention. Match made in hell or whatever.

“Nice car, you planning on totaling it anytime soon?” you ask, sliding into the passenger’s seat.

“Not yet, unless you’d like me to. I can put a blindfold on and press the gas as hard as I can if you ask,” he gleefully fantasizes. It’s a little cute how smug he is talking about ways he would cause a car accident for you. Maybe chivalry isn’t dead or maybe you’re both doing the world a favor by going off the market. “I’m a man of many talents, after all.”

“Wow. I’ve never been more attracted to a man in my life.”

You don’t know if Michael’s playing along to your deadpan comment or if he’s choosing to ignore it with the way he drives all the way to the restaurant with a smile on his face. The sight of him with such a proud expression on his face combined with the misplaced confidence is embarrassing but endearing. If you were to ask yourself why you decided to smile along with him, you’d tell yourself it’s because you’re making fun of him in your head, but in your heart, you know it’s for a different reason—one you’re too stubborn to admit.

To spend months observing Michael Kaiser only for him to disappear without a trace, leaving you longing for a reunion you thought only you would anticipate is more shameful than admitting to yourself you had fallen for him first. As Michael parks his car and extends a hand out for you and opens your door, extending a tattooed hand out for you, you suppose you’ll share your affections with him the same time you share it with yourself.

#blue lock #michael kaiser x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #bllk #bllk fluff #blue lock fluff #michael kaiser #kaiser #kaiser x reader #michael kaiser blue lock #bllk michael kaiser

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j5daigada · 1 day ago

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some random observations I made in japan, which I'm posting because I found them interesting and also why not

putting them under "read more" for anyone who is interested in reading them

probably the last thing I will post related to japan...!

+18 comics/doujins usually had their own designated floors or sections, sometimes next to the shelves of safer comics, separated by curtains, if even that. In one of the stores, the line to the cashier was formed through the +18 section of the store. The floor for +18 comics was commonly labelled as "doujinshi for men" (and the floor for BL, sometimes bara too, as "doujinshi for women"). All the comics were covered in a plastic film, so you couldn't read them or even check what was inside; a bit tricky when trying to figure out if they contained what you wanted...!

Subways were super packed sometimes, but even then it felt like you had your own small space. There were also trains for women only, although apparently that was only enforced between 7-9 am, since after that time window everyone was just using them no matter how packed they were.

Many anime ads and posters in subways and stations. Many gacha and vending machines too (I got an oreo-flavored ice cream cone from one of them, I liked it).

The food was really good, I'm gonna miss it... It was very affordable too, as I could get a meal with a drink for ~1k-1.2k yen (which translates to around 6-7 euros or USD), which a lot of the time could keep me full for the rest of the day. Filled onigiri only cost around 100 yen, which is like 0.6 euros or USD. The only thing I didn't like super much was nori in ramen, since I found the taste too seawatery (although in onigiri it had a very neutral taste). Miso soup tasted pretty good, although the smell was pretty strong. Mochi is probably the softest thing I have touched.

At some convenience stores, they had a touch screen on your side of the counter where you had to select your payment method and whether the cashier had checked your ID for alcohol... kind of a minor point, but it was funny how I was the one needing to confirm that.

Many stoplights for pedestrians had visible countdown timers.

I know students wear uniforms, but I didn't realize kindergarteners/elementary school kids(?) also had color-coded hats until I ran into a couple different groups of them with their supervisors at a park.

Akihabara had a lot of girls outside advertising their maid cafe. I visited one with my friend and it was a pretty fun time, although there were a bunch of extra fees.

Surprisingly many people wore short skirts with bare legs despite it being December and +5C on some days. I don't think anyone would do that here where I live when it gets cold.

The toilet paper was super thin, probably about 3 times thinner than here...

Streets were super packed, especially on weekends. I don't think I've ever seen this many people in one place at the same time before (considering my country is very sparsely populated). Navigating through crowds of people was not too much of a problem though.

Many restaurants accepted foreign cards, but some didn't (such as one local burger joint). Usually they showed all the payment options outside the restaurant. Many restaurants also showcased wax versions of their meals outside, which was pretty handy for finding something you wanted to eat.

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just-sg · 3 days ago

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And if "just ignore them and write it anyway" doesn't overcome the anxiety, here's alternate advice:

Remember that these are opinions, and it is perfectly reasonable to consider others' opinions, but if you ask enough people, there WILL be mutually exclusive opinions out there. You CANNOT please everyone, as in it is literally physically not possible, you have slightly higher odds of your molecules lining up exactly the right way to jump through a solid wall. There is not a single decision you can ever make that will avoid the chance of someone not liking it; if enough people see your work, someone WILL have an issue with something, which means you don't have to worry about "what if". Might someone misunderstand? Might someone find it annoying or boring or upsetting? Immutably, yes; if the answer is ever no it just means not enough people have seen it yet. So stop trying to do the impossible!

And once you've got that part, think about what you can control. Look at the opinions you're worried about and actually break them down. Why does dirtysocks574774757 hate that trope?

If it's "overdone", is that actually a problem? Is it popular because many people enjoy it? Is it a little cliche, but something you personally enjoy seeing in other words even knowing that it is? Or if the problem with "overdone" is that it's overshadowing other good options, does anything else appeal to you? Is there a way you can add a unique twist to the trope, keeping what you like while also making it stand out and having all the more fun with it?

If it's "unrealistic", are you trying to be realistic? Is this an escapist fantasy or personal venting where making things better/cooler/gritter/edgier/whatever than real life is part of the point? Is pushing this idea harmful, and if so, what about it is the problem? Is there a way to address that part without avoiding everything even slightly adjacent to the trope with a 40 foot pole?

Remember that no one's opinion is objective law. Even if something is overdone to a point of becoming a stereotype, as long as that stereotype isn't spreading harmful misinformation or actively shitting on people, it doesn't mean you have to avoid anything that even might look close as much as possible at all costs, it means be careful.

Ex: Your gay character can be flamboyant, I promise; the problem isn't camp gays existing, it's when the one (1) gay character or couple in a series is always Like That and little if anything else. So just don't do that part! Remember context, too. It's very different having a whole group who all act a certain way vs a group where only one/some do, ya know? I know this post was more about pet peeves and stuff but I'm saying, if even stuff that can be genuinely bad doesn't have to always be, then you also definitely shouldn't be stressing harmless fun tropes.

Above all else: remember it's better to do something right than to do nothing wrong. There is no amount of effort you could put in to make your work appeal to everyone, but the closer you get to making it tolerable to everyone (still impossible to achieve fully), the less likely you are to appeal to much of anyone. So don't worry yourself to death (or worse, to a point of never making anything) avoiding everything that might be offputting. Instead, when you find yourself worried about a potential issue, examine it, weigh your options, and make a conscious choice about if you want to keep, alter, or scrap it. As long as you're being mindful about your decisions rather than just throwing things in with no regard, you should be FINE.

People relate to messy complex characters, and what one person finds "unrealistic" could just be a thing they don't get, but that makes someone else feel incredibly seen and validated. People like stupid indulgent fantasies! And if you need proof people will actively seek out and enjoy reading the same shit over and over, look no farther than "Coffee Shop AU" or "Only One Bed".

In the end, there's little more powerful than passion from a creator. Write what you like, write what you'd want to read, make the points you want to make. There will always be people who just don't like the things you like, and no amount of trying to water yourself down for them will make them anything more than tolerant. So write for you and the people who do like what you like, and put your whole body into it. Someone will always hate it and someone will always enjoy it, and the more you write something you enjoy, the more likely it is that the people who do like it will really, really like it. Don't hold yourself back!

hey, writers. especially neurodivergent writers with anxiety or OCD.

if you see one of those writing advice posts that is literally just, ‘these tropes suck’, ‘this story idea sucks’, ‘this sucks’, ‘that sucks’, ‘all of this is horrible’.. don’t dwell on it.

these are just random people on the internet, okay? they’re just acting like they know everything and that their personal preferences are universal.

you don’t have to listen to them, write whatever you want, regardless of if dirtysocks574774757 on Tumblr/Pinterest doesn’t like it.

(ahem, if a user by the name of dirtysocks574774757 from Tumblr or Pinterest actually does see this.. sorry 😅 i’m sure you understand)

#this is long #but man one of my best friends has OCD and I've spent years now watching how often he'll send me like #one (1) Twitter Post and start panicking that he's doing something Wrong and needs to make huge changes #>:( So I've gotten used to shaking him like. NO. Listen. You can TAKE THIS UNDER ADVISEMENT without drastically rerouting all of everything #also maybe that person is stupid did you consider that #xD But yeah I know at least for him 'just ignore it' would NOT work so we go the long way.#'You don't have to 100% embrace OR 100% ignore. Just spin it around and weigh your options. And IF you make changes they can be minor.'#'There are basically always more options than All or Nothing.'#writing advice

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dawnfelagund · 7 hours ago

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Back in 2019, I wrote a blog post called The Inequality Prototype. As part of it, I counted a bunch of stuff related to the Valar and looked at how those metrics differed based on gender. At the time, I thought it would be interesting to extend this work over the entire Silmarillion, namely looking at who speaks in the text and who doesn't. For Tolkien Meta Week, I began this work and am collecting my analyses related to it here. It is very much still a work in progress and will likely take me years to complete, but I'm going to post interesting data as I discover it.

This project, like all of my data projects, is available to use under a CC license for others who want to play with the data: View the data | Copy the data | Methodology, progress, etc.

---

Dialogue does not occur evenly across The Silmarillion. While a little over 5% of the words in The Silmarillion as a whole are used in dialogue, this is very unevenly distributed across the chapters, with some chapters about half dialogue and six chapters containing no dialogue at all.

There is a lot more work to be done to tease out trends and patterns that might have some meaning, but just glancing at the graph above, some of those patterns do begin to emerge. First, dialogue increases as The Silmarillion progresses. In the second half of the book (calculated by chapter, not page or word count), only two chapters have no dialogue and only four chapters (inclusive of those two without dialogue) fall below the median of 5.3% dialogue. Put another way:

In the first half of chapters, 71% of chapters are below the median.

In the second half of chapters, 29% of chapters are below the median.

Why is this? My tentative theory is that we see the book moving from the realm of the mythic—from events that are passed down through the oral tradition and ancient written traditions—and into the historical, where the narrator has a greater array of sources, including eyewitness testimony, and begins to write with greater immediacy rather than the arm's-length style of myth and ancient history.

What I am curious about: As I dig deeper into these data, will I see this theory bear out in which episodes or characters/groups are granted actual dialogue? In other words, will characters and peoples lost to the mists of time speak less, as I would expect? Or will the type of dialogue (e.g., a formal speech that may have been preserved vs. an extempore conversation that would not) vary based on narrative distance? I have documented in the past that the narrator of The Silmarillion uses the "it is said/told/sung" construction more with characters who are less accessible, so there is evidence that Tolkien manipulated writing style based on what his narrators' access to various sources. Does he use dialogue similarly to communicate that "mythic distance"?

There are also chapters that are more expository in purpose (Valaquenta, "Of Beleriand and Its Realms") that do not contain dialogue. Without digging deeper into the chapters themselves, most of those without dialogue that aren't similarly expository are chapters where the material would be less accessible to Pengolodh as a narrator. Whether this bears added scrutiny remains to be seen!

Finally, in discussing these data on the SWG's Discord, polutropos noticed something interesting, which is that the chapter with the most dialogue—"Of Aulë and Yavanna," where almost 57% of the words of the chapter are given over to dialogue—was not in fact written by Tolkien. As document by Douglas Charles Kane in his book Arda Reconstructed, "This chapter is completely manufactured by Christopher, though using his father's own writings" (page 54). Where Kane usually includes a chart pointing to the source for each bit of The Silmarillion, his chapter on "Of Aulë and Yavanna" contains no such chart because, while he is able to document where ideas came from, Christopher actually wrote the chapter.

Interestingly, "Of the Noldor in Beleriand" is the chapter with the second most dialogue and, according to Kane, "The changes made in this chapter are among the smallest anywhere in the published text" (page 154). So Tolkien does sometimes write dialogue-heavy chapters—though without data to back me up (yet! it's coming!), most of that dialogue appears to come in the form of lengthier speeches, not necessarily the debate/conversation format of Of Aulë and Yavanna."

The biggest impact of the dialogue-heavy "Of Aulë and Yavanna," I suspect, will emerge as I dig more into the data on gender and who speak in The Silmarillion. Yavanna is one of the women who speaks the most in The Silmarillion, but almost all of her dialogue occurs in this chapter. If this chapter is constructed by Christopher, how does that impact the amount of speech women are permitted by Tolkien? Polutropos' observation spurred me to plan to document the source of the various dialogue sections: Are they original to Tolkien's writings or added? Kane, interestingly, is critical of Christopher Tolkien in Arda Reconstructed for what he perceives as Christopher removing women characters from the text. In this instance, we see a significant example of the opposite: a woman's role is not only expanded, but she is given an opportunity to speak.

#silmarillion #tolkien #silmarillion: who speaks?

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genderqueerdykes · 49 minutes ago

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just saw that "you are loved" cuttlefish post on my dash again (idk if you know the one) but it goes through so many identities and just. does not include trans men. pan people, bi people, lesbians, trans women, intersex people, nonbinary people too i think, but not trans men. like maybe I'm taking it the wrong way, maybe I should celebrate that all of these types of people are being celebrated, i especially loved seeing intersex people included, but? the deliberate exclusion just hurts I guess. it would've been so easy to say trans people or just include trans men too.

another thing that makes me feel like I'm just being overly sensitive about it is that I do tend to lean into the nonbinary label sometimes, but it feels very "the only good enby is a femme-lite enby" and I'm. audibly sighing I used to like seeing that post on my dash

i haven't seen the post you're referring to, but i have definitely noticed this with queer positivity posts in general

like people think it's somehow progressive to aggressively leave trans men out of every conversation, ever. like, people have gone too far with profiling people based off their genders to the point where they trick themselves into thinking that trans men are now Cishet Male Oppressors and find excuses and reasons to target, bully, and emotionally abuse us. people literally just think we are undeserving of love and kindness because us disclosing that we're a man suddenly somehow is hurting that person

people are NOWHERE near as aggressive about this with cis gay men. people are not sitting here trying to weed cis gay men out of every space and post as possible. it sends me reeling to realize that people accept cis men more than trans men, even though they love to say how much they hate "all" men. is it really "all" men, or is it just trans men? because it feels very pointed toward a specific group of men that nobody loves to name, but everyone loves to hate.

i know that people who aren't trans men usually can't see the pain this causes us. but so many people just don't care. they assume that we have no feelings because they stereotype men to be emotional brick walls. they think it's okay to leave us out and abuse us because somehow, trans manhood has hurt them. like these people behave like a bus full of trans men showed up at their front door and kicked them to death.

like people really are so threatened by the idea that a "woman" can become a man. why is this an issue?

and good lord that is the ugliest take on nonbinaryhood i've ever seen. "femme-lite". wow. people really just do see nonbinary people as women, huh? nonbinary people aren't cis women jesus fucking christ. masc and butch nonbinary people are still nonbinary and there's nothing wrong with that. jesus christ people are SO scared of diversity. people are SO scared of something they can't relate to.

feminine people and women are not inherently safe to be around. i have been sexually and physically assaulted by multiple women. i have been groped by women. i have had cis women tell me that i'm "basically a woman" because i have a vagina and i'm a trans man. i've had women emotionally and mentally abuse me. women and femmes have stolen things from me. women and femmes are not inherently safe to be around. women and femmes can hurt you.

i'm sorry you're encountering this kind of stuff. people are more proud to talk about who they hate than who they love/like and it's just ugly. they don't care that it's affecting people. but if someone does something to even slightly inconvenience them, like, idk, being a trans man, then suddenly the world grinds to a halt. it's entitled behavior. it's people who want to be in control of the queer community and try to control our narratives.

there are some people who are legitimately a part of the queer community for the wrong reasons. the amount of people who are converting to rad feminism and thinking that the queer community needs to be a Cis Girls Only Club is staggering. people are trying to remove everyone but cis women who are pathologically afraid of an entire gender that hasn't hurt them. this isn't the terf club. stop trying to make this into the terf club.

i hope you're able to feel a bit better soon. people are so fucking shitty and it's time it stops. there's no reason to profile people. that's not what we do here. it's not right to leave people out of our spaces who rightfully belong. ignoring the existence of trans men won't make us go away. we're here and you need to listen to us and care about us because we are your siblings and we have not inherently wronged you by virtue of existing.

#asks #answers #antimasculism #man hating #transandrophobia

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sapphanimates · 24 hours ago

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SapphAnimates Art Recap 2024!

Calling it a little bit early, but here's a quick recap of my art progress for the year ^^

JANUARY

My Alacrity AU designs for Team Chaotix! Espio was one of the new designs I was most proud of at the time (despite the fact I ended up slightly modifying it later on). Hence why I chose him to represent January!

FEBUARY

THIS IS IT. THE ORIGINS OF SASHA. A Sonadow fankid I originally made just for shits and giggles, as many other creators were making them at the time, has slowly evolved over the year to become a pseudo-face for the blog! I wouldn't be where I am right now if you guys hadn't loved her as much as I do, and I'm super grateful for all of your support! Stay tuned for more Doom's Child AU news!

MARCH

Warrior Cats designs! These are some Medicine Cat/Healer designs for fun, though it did push me into a short era of drawing a lot of warriors stuff. I think most of my March was dedicated to Warriors content, actually...

APRIL

I like garten of banban. I needed to share my concept for a darker, psychological horror type of banban story, with a hint of infection au in there as well. please forgive me.

MAY

The end of the Sasha's run in the Sonic Fankid Showdown hosted by @head---ache . She didn't last very long, but the support behind our campaign was insane. Same goes for Zayne's run in the second Showdown. Thank you all so much!

JUNE

I did a "Six Fanarts" Challenge, featuring a mix of Warriors and Sonic characters, this one in particular featuring Sonic, Tails, Shadow, Tangle, Yellowfang, and Breezepelt. Shadow was my favorite from the group, with the bright yellow moon in the background and new Doom Wings (the Doom Powers were recently announced at the time).

JULY

Drew some of the horror adjacent Tails designs from some of the zones in my Project Alacrity AU. Ojo, Maggie, and Tailtrap playing Operation together and failing miserably at it :]

AUGUST

Some scrapped art from an animated shorts compilation video I posted on my YouTube Channel! It features some of the main characters, namely Fallen Leaves from Warriors, a Floragato from Pokémon, and a Mimic and Blarret from My Singing Monsters. Please go check out the video if you haven't yet!

SEPTEMBER

September means school, and school means teachers. And I've never met a more wackjob teacher than my current Chemistry teacher. This picture was one I did as a "Get to Know You" project on the first day of school. Labcoat Sapph.

OCTOBER

My first self assigned school art project, and a photography one! A multimedia picnic, a clay frog, a paper doll coati, and a portrait of a ghostly cat-woman, all sharing a lovely shoo-fly pie. Each character was created in a different medium, and the final photo was taken in my grandmother's backyard.

NOVEMBER

Part of a community challenge spurred by @yourpalsalamander . Asha in Wonderland needed a high af caterpillar, and who better to fill the role than Sasha. Just uh... don't touch her shrooms.

DECEMBER

Mlp horror AUs have had a small comeback lately, mostly on TikTok, but I wanted to throw my hat in the ring and create new evil versions of the entire Mane 6. I haven't come up with a design and concept for Rarity yet, but I've had a great time developing the rest of them! I'd love to turn it into a video series if you guys are interested in hearing my thoughts.

See you all next year! Template is by @zontarzon

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burning-an-indifferent-hell · 19 hours ago

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"It's not complex at all, like all male violence." Not complex at all, simply male violence, and yet here you are jumping through hoops like Charlie Kelly drawing lines on a clue wall trying to justify a connection to irrelevant trans people. No, trans people have not eroded any rights away from women or girls in Pakistan contributing to this situation. You are seriously deluded if you honestly believe this.

"And I didn't say that. Your disingenuous reduction to absurdity of what I said—" There is no reduction fallacy and that's not even how the reduction to absurdity works in the first place. You clearly stated that trans people are relevant to this issue and that the issue is ongoing because trans people have stripped international women of protections. That's just a bogus fucking lie that can't be backed up with any evidence.

"Not radical feminists." Yes, radical feminists. You think I'm not familiar with your kind and the kinds of contradictory political alliances you form? I've been interacting with you types for over a decade. I was one of the most well-known GC activists on the web for years, thousands of you have reblogged my posts, circulated them on other sites, and you even still try to rehash the same busted old arguments that I popularized on here against me as if I've never heard the shit before. Countless radfems and GC types have distanced themselves from the movement because of how toxic, single-issued, and obsessively hateful towards trans people it is, not to mention how racist, homophobic, and generally antisocial your kind is in private group chats and servers.

"And if you read them, you'd know." I've read quite a lot of radical feminist literature and that's why I ascribe to materialist feminism and don't believe your kind has any business calling yourselves radfems in the first place. You lack the dialectical approach, nuance, and revolutionary impact of the historic radical feminism movement, you're just the reactionary anti-trans movement.

"And if you read them, you'd know. As it is, you but regurgitate the liberal party line." Ah yes, liberals, well known for being anti-"transcendental-idealism, sex essentialism, and idpol" and advocating a "Marxian/materialist and intersectional approach to sex-based oppression". /s Of course you wouldn't comprehend basic philosophical terms or political nuance. Dumbass.

"70% of trans-identified inmates are imprisoned for sexual assault, 40% with more than one instance." Nothing but lies regurgitated straight from that idiot JKR and her far-right puppeteers at The Telegraph, etc. Funnily enough I already knew you would bring up this exact claim and was waiting to link this article:

Are 50% of Trans Women in Prison Sex Offenders? The Transphobic Myth That Refuses to Die

No, the conservative right just exaggerates and lies, and radfems are easily manipulated into believing it because they lack the analytical capability to see through it. The results of your kind's statistics are always based on poorly sampled, misrepresented data intended to draw a conclusion that isn't actually the case. And unsurprisingly always sourced from your far-right collaborators.

"And your pantomime of trying to convince yourself radical feminists have, directly or indirectly, contributed to anti-abortion legistlation is as laughable as actual conservatives' fear mongering of us as desiring to have abortions as a hobby." Hardly. You idiots campaigning as a vanguard to spread anti-trans/anti-queer rhetoric is EXACTLY why many throughout the world have adopted these ignorant beliefs and become hostile towards LGBT people, equating "gender theory" to pedophilia, warming up to conservative conspiracy theories, and supporting the populist right.

"You could say the same for radical feminism, except rules for thee but not for me." First of all, comprehend that one is a political movement with core beliefs and tenets whereas the other is simply a people who can believe anything. Secondly, no you couldn't say the same when I've made it clear multiple times to you and your friend that I distinguish the contemporary "radfem" movement from traditional radical feminism as well as material feminism, which I support, but you ignore that because all you're capable of is deflection and attacking a straw man argument.

"We always have—" No, what you do is treat liberal-individualism as inseparable from the existence of trans people or the belief that their welfare matters.

"but TRAs do exactly that to us, in response. Vilify us and categorize our criticism of gender and our sex-based advocacy as personal persecution of themselves." You're vilified as persecutors because you sell out in support of hostile legislation and form alliances with groups who are openly sadistic and violent towards them.

"—reads precisely as the gaslighting it is." More of that projection. Deflect, lie, gaslight, project, attack straw man, repeat.

Trans activists:

'Woman is an identity and a social construct'

Planet Earth:

#radfems #terfs

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rypnami · 3 days ago

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The Yule Ball

happy christmas everyone! this is the last part for now of my yule ball posts for @leaping-toadstool-caps 's event. as mentioned in my headcanons post (found here), leander spends most of the night working up the courage to ask his sebastian to dance. i decided for my christmas post, i should write what happens next. enjoy!

this is not proofread at all and is a bit of a mess but its fine we ball

(outfit post here)

word count: a lot probably i didn't actually count

mentioned mcs: phillip prewett (mine), jaimsen hisui @leaping-toadstool-caps odysseus carrow @saibugslegacy amberlyn salters @ps-cactus

Leander isn't sure why he came to the ball.

He thinks he must look like the biggest knob alive, coming without a date, loitering around as a third wheel to his older brother and his boyfriend, and then going to hide in the corner and stuff his face with chocolate frogs. Surrounded by happy couples, or groups of friends who came to have a good time, he feels even worse. Last week, he had almost gotten it together to ask Sebastian to go with him, but had gotten too anxious and practically run away.

Unwrapping another chocolate frog, he hardly glances at the card as he drops it in the pile and shoves the whole thing in his mouth head-first. If he's going to be a lonely bastard, at least he's doing so with sweets. The decorations around the Great Hall are brilliant, too. Tall, icy trees, enchanted snow falling gently from the ceiling, which looks like a winter sky, and baubles galore along the walls. Jaimsen really outdid himself, setting this all up. At least there is something to look at other than all the couples dancing.

"You!"

Leander jumps.

Jaimsen comes up to him, arms crossed. "No being sad at my ball!"

"I'm not sad-"

"Don't lie to me, Prewett."

"Not my fault," Leander protests, even though it most certainly is. "You know, it's statistically proven that depression is worse around the holidays, so naturally at leas one person here would be-"

"Spare us all the lecture. I'm begging." Phillip seems to materialise beside them, Odysseus in tow, and throws his arm over Leander's shoulders.

"I'm right, though."

"If you're truly that distraught about it, why not ask him to dance?" Odysseus says.

Jaimsen nods. "That's an excellent idea."

Leander shrugs Phillip's arm off and takes a step away. "I- what- who are you... talking about?" They can't know, can they?

The other three boys seem to roll their eyes in unison. "Sebastian, of course," Phillip says, as though it's the most obvious thing in the world.

He might die from humiliation. "Why- what- why- why would I ask Sebastian to dance?!" He stammers.

"Everyone knows you fancy him."

"You follow him everywhere. You're like a puppy."

"Whenever he's around, whatever minimal braincells you have seem to evaporate."

"You almost cried when that rumour about him coming with Adair was going around."

"And-"

"That's quite enough!" Leander cuts them all off, his face almost as red as his dress robes. "You've all made your point!"

"So ask him!" Phillip says. "Stop pouting in the corner."

"How?"

"Like this." Odysseus stands on his toes to match Leander's height and starts doing an awful impression of his voice. "Sebastian, would you like to dance with me?" He drops back down to his normal height. "Easy."

"Very easy," Jaimsen agrees.

Well, fine, it sounds easy in theory, but so had asking Sebastian to be his date, and that had not gone well. Excuse. Excuse. Think of an excuse why you can't.

"I would, but... Sebastian is busy. With Ominis." Although he's been trying not to, every time Leander has searched through the crowd for Sebastian, he's been talking to Ominis. He is definitely not jealous and is not watching in case someone else should ask him to dance.

"It's your lucky day, then," Phillip points across the hall. Sebastian is standing just to the side of the dance floor, watching as Ominis takes Amberlyn Salters by the arm and leads her out to dance. "It seems Mr Gaunt is occupied."

"Oh. Yay."

"So go talk to him."

Before he can protest, the trio is practically dragging him across the floor, Leander stammering half-formed excuses the entire way. Phillip shoves Leander in Sebastian's direction, then the three scamper off, giggling.

"Leander, hello!" Sebastian says as Leander almost trips into him. "I was just wondering if you were here."

Leander is at a loss for words. From far away, it was hard to see, but up close he feels like he can't breathe. Sebastian is wearing a dark green velvet tuxedo jacket and matching dress pants. His typically unruly brown hair is combed and must have a gallon of product in it to keep it down, but there are still a few strands sticking out here and there.

He looks positively gorgeous.

Next to him, Leander must look like a toad wearing a suit.

"Er, yes, I've been, you know, with my brother and his boyfriend..." He hopes there's no chocolate smudged on his face... too late to worry about that now.

"No dancing?"

"No. I came without a date." Saying it out loud feels like an exercise in humiliation, honestly. “No one asked me… and I dunno, asking someone was…”

“Intimidating?” Sebastian suggests.

Leander nods. “I… suppose so, yes.”

“I didn’t come with anyone, either.”

“You didn’t ask someone?” What’s more surprising to Leander is that no one asked Sebastian. He’s easily the prettiest boy in school (in his opinion, anyway) and he’s well-liked by most everyone. With that suit on, too, it’s a wonder half the students here aren’t tripping over themselves to dance with him.

"I didn't. I was asked by a few people, but I turned them down. I was rather hoping someone specific would invite me. They never did." Sebastian absently picks at his silver cufflinks, seeming to get lost in thought.

"Then they're an idiot." Leander says simply.

"Think so?"

Leander snorts. "Of course. Anyone would be lucky to go to a ball with you." Was that too forward? That was too forward, wasn't it..

"You flatter me," Sebastian sighs and mock swoons.

He has no idea why he was so petrified at the idea of talking to Sebastian- they are friends, and even with the 'my-brother-and-his-friends-are-peer-pressuring-me-into-asking-him-to-dance' thing, it's no different from when they chat in class, or study together in the library. Perhaps asking for a dance will be okay. At the least, it won't be the end of the world... right?

“Sebastian. I-“ I really like you. I've always really liked you. No, that's too much. I'm letting the silence go on too long. Say something say something SAY SOMETHING.

“Yes?”

"I. I. Um."

Sebastian raises his eyebrows and tilts his head. "Are you feeling quite alright? You look a bit flush."

"Y-yes, I'm grand. Um." Sweat drips down Leander's temples. Sebastian will laugh at him, he'll look a fool, everyone will know what a failure he is... "Um." Merlin's beard, Prewett, just say the damn words! “Since neither of us… has a date…”

A few paces behind Sebastian, Phillip is watching the disaster. He smiles and gives Leander two thumbs up.

"Doyouwanttodancewithme?"

"...I'm sorry?" Sebastian says. “What?”

That's that. Leander wants to crawl into a hole and die. Of course Sebastian would never want to dance with him, of all people.

"N-no, I'm sorry, stupid idea. Sorry."

"Wait." Sebastian puts his hand on Leander's shoulder before he can walk away. "Don't be sorry, I simply didn't hear what you said."

"O-Oh."

Sebastian looks at him expectantly. No way to back out now.

"I, er, I was wondering if... I- no pressure, or anything, but it looks like it's the last dance of the evening, so I thought... um, perhaps you'd like to dance... with... me?"

A beat of silence that couldn't be more than a second, but feels like a century.

A grin spreads across Sebastian's face. "I was beginning to think you'd never ask."

A new song starts, and Sebastian offers his hand. "Shall we?" Leander takes it, blushing.

Sebastian's hands are warm, and he's got a firm grip. There are callouses on his palms, likely from how many firey spells he uses. Leander desperately tries not to focus on just how well Sebastian's suit jacket fits him, or how he smells a bit like lavender and bergamot. He hopes his own palms aren't sweating.

Silently, he thanks his mum for being willing to teach him how to waltz. If he hadn't spent the past several weeks practising relentlessly, he's certain he'd be stepping all over Sebastian's toes right now.

Sebastian puts his hand on Leander's waist as the dance starts, and he almost blacks out. Everything around them is like background noise- they might as well be the only people in the world as they sway across the dance floor.

"I- wanted to ask you to come as my date," Leander admits, smiling awkwardly. "Last week, after Charms. I was going to, but, uh..."

Sebastian chuckles, and the sound of it warms Leander's body more than even the strongest Butterbeer. "Is that why you ran off? Merlin, I thought you just really needed the loo."

Blood rushes to Leander's face again. "I see."

"Were you truly that nervous to ask me?"

“How could I not be?” They’re close enough now that he can almost count the freckles on Sebastian’s face, a welcome distraction from making direct eye contact. “You’re cute, and smart, and brilliant at magic." Leander chews his lip. "I'm not... any of that, so I suppose I didn't think I had a chance?"

"I was waiting for you to ask."

"You wanted- Me?"

Sebastian really laughs now, and the way the bridge of his nose crinkles as he does is so cute Leander almost has to physically fight the urge to kiss him right there. "Did you really not know? I've been dropping hints for ages!"

Oh. Honestly, that makes a lot of sense. "I... I suppose I wasn't paying close enough attention." Translation- I hoped you felt the same, but I didn't think I was good enough for you.

"Merlin, you're as thick as it gets." Sebastian teases.

Leander rolls his eyes. "Well perhaps you were unclear!" But he starts to laugh, too. He can't believe he had been so scared to do this not 15 minutes ago. In fact, now he's wishing he'd manned up sooner and asked Sebastian earlier in the night, so they could have more dances, and more time to talk about... whatever might be between them, now.

The music slowly comes to an end, and with it the dance. As they step apart, Sebastian bows low with a slight smirk. "Thank you for the dance, Mr Prewett."

"Thank you, Mr Sallow." Leander mirrors him. He hesitates for a moment. This is his first formal ball, and he's not really sure what he's supposed to do now. Walk him back to his dorm? Dance again? Get them something to drink? Before he can overthink too much-

"Would you look at that." Sebastian is pointing up.

Dangling above their heads is a sprig of mistletoe. A sprig of mistletoe that was definitely not there a moment ago. Leander swears he can head Phillip snickering nearby. Busybody.

"You know, I've heard that if you don't kiss under the mistletoe, it's bad luck," says Sebastian conversationally. "I'd normally say I don't believe it and go about my evening, but we've got a Potions exam coming up, and I dunno if I want to risk it."

"With my marks in Potions, I don't think I can risk a stroke of bad luck right now, either..."

Neither of them mention, of course, that said exam is almost two months away, and any superstitious bad luck would surely have worn off by then. Sebastian leans in and gently presses his lips to Leander's. It's quick, so much so that if you blinked you might miss it, but it is easily the highlight of Leander's evening.

Perhaps it's a good thing he came to the ball after all.

#let's play a game it's called spot the RWRB reference #after this leander is kicking his feet and giggling and thinking about that kiss all night #hogwarts legacy #yule ball #hogwartswinterball1892 #phillip prewett #leander prewett #sebastian sallow #prewlow #leander x sebastian #odysseus carrow #jaimsen hisui #amberlyn salters #alyn salters #christmas #christmas fic

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chiropteracupola · 1 year ago

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what if they were an ultimate frisbee team

#em draws stuff #em is posting about sharpe #sharpe #rifleman harris #daniel hagman #richard sharpe #patrick harper #francis cooper #ben perkins #south essex quirky #<- organizational tag for frisbee au things #see it is Funny because jason salkey was an ultimate frisbee player before he was an actor. also I just think the men should frisb.#<- not a real verb #'look if the terror fandom has terrebus fc then we can have this' says local man who knows very little at all about ultimate frisbee #but also I have noticed that Multiple acquaintances have acquired concussions playing this sport In The Last Week Alone #and thus I deem it Sharpe-Appropriate in its capacity for Causing Grievous Harm and Encouraging the Wearing of Cool Shades In October #so you see. this took me TEN DAYS and ouch ouch ow this is why I don't do group portraits that often #the height differences are Wrong here I am pretty sure but I have almost no conception of how tall any of them are. and I'm tired.#also the designing of their silly little outfits y'know #I do recommend opening up this image Large because tumblr crunches all my little details something awful #sailorpants saw this while I was still drawing it and said they looked like an 'assorted pack of lesbians' and really they're not wrong #other things to note about this au that we've decided: cooper still does crimes and harris has a podcast #stay tuned whilst I figure out how to make custom frisbees so that I can a) design them a cooler one and b) make them into real items #manufacturers I have looked at thus far have either been Suspicious or have required Large minimum orders #but hey if there are 47 people out there wanting a strange frisbee...

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talesfromthecrypts · 2 years ago

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I don’t think some of you actually understand how important the wolves are to the entire Vampire Chronicles story actually

#i could be meaner about this... but i won't #this fandom is really bad at literary analysis for a group that pride themselves on it #also i saw one post that was a little homophobic which REALLY is what is setting me off here #actually i'm getting madder the more i think about it #y'all have taken 'unreliable narrator' and have just gutted everything its why i don't engage with the this

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grammarpedant · 2 days ago

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Nope. Trap card #2, activated: There's no evidence that Gurathin is from the Corporation Rim.

The fanon that Gurathin is CR comes from a single line in Exit Strategy: Ratthi says, "It came to Preservation packed into the hold of that much bigger ship, the one that’s become the station, with our grandparents. Well, not Gurathin’s grandparents, he came later." Personally, I think there's even room here to interpret Gurathin as being born on Preservation as the child of immigrants, if Ratthi's use of "he came later" is taken as an imprecise synecdoche for Gurathin's family origins as a whole. Given that this is Ratthi "I'll get the cases" "I'm a biologist, I don't understand this money stuff" being sentimental and distractable in this scene, it's a fair cop.

Either way, "came later" does not mean "from the Corporation Rim." There are plenty of other places in the setting that are neither Preservation nor the CR. As early as Artificial Condition another set of non-corporate polities is mentioned, Rami's Divarti Cluster; it's not clear whether Don Abene's homesystems in Rogue Protocol are corporate or noncorporate, but she certainly has no "bone-deep" fear of SecUnits; Fugitive Telemetry meanwhile expounds on travel routes through Preservation Station stretching elsewhere "outside the Rim." The Rim is only one group of places that a human could be from.

No, people are mixing up Gurathin's backstory with Human One's. It's Human One who is the former corporate contract slave, and SHE is the one who acted rationally on her bone-deep, knee-jerk fear of SecUnits in shooting Murderbot in the back. She's not the only corporate-background character to interact with MB, though—even if we did want to headcanon that Gurathin did hail from the CR, we might just as reasonably compare Gurathin's "We just have to keep you immobilized" to Ras and Eletra's "Just tell it to take orders from us" and "It seems like you don't know how to control it" in Network Effect. Their corporate fear and prejudice and desire for control certainly does not stop them from thinking—with clear self-interest, if not rationally or clearly.

People can headcanon whatever they like, of course. By all means, if giving the backstory of a strong and fascinating female character to Gurathin tickles the fancy, then I encourage people to do that on their own time. But this post is my post, and I am not obligated to care about the things people made up outside the text in my analysis of the text.

Finally, let me address a point that's cropped up more than once now. We all know it's not easy to set aside prejudice and in-group bias and fear of the unknown to make rational or kind decisions. We all live in the real world and many of us have personally had to wrestle with the effects of unthinking fear and prejudice, both others' and our own. The Murderbot Diaries is a series that speaks to us as full thinking adults on this matter, that's why kindness is presented as a rational choice, not merely a morally right one. The series acknowledges that it's hard, but at the same time doesn't allow you to wallow in your own struggles to the exclusion of others'—it still asks you to try to see other people clearly for who they are and what they need, and use what agency you have to do right by them. Gurathin fucked up in this scene, then later stepped up and learned better, and rather than focusing over-much on how hard he had it we should learn from his example and do better.

Gurathin is not only wrong, his argument is fundamentally irrational

Gurathin's argument in ASR:

We need to immobilize this SecUnit stat, because it's going to kill us.

I know it's going to kill us because its logs show that it's rogue. If there is no way to control it, then it is dangerous to us.

It is controlled by the Company to sabotage us. "The missing hazard report, the missing map sections. The SecUnit must be part of that." If it wasn't, that would be a coincidence, which is unbelievable.

This SecUnit has gone rogue and killed people in its charge before. It may do so again.

PresAux's counterargument:

It may be rogue, but that doesn't logically mean it will kill us. "The fact that the Unit has been acting to preserve our lives, to take care of us, while it was a free agent, gives us even more reason to trust it." (Volescu)

Someone may be sabotaging us, but that doesn't logically mean it's the Company or our SecUnit. "There were only three SecUnits for DeltFall in their specs, but there were five units in their habitat. Someone is sabotaging us, but I don’t think our SecUnit is part of it." (Ratthi)

If the SecUnit was trying to sabotage us, then why would it tell us about the combat module sabotage and shoot itself? (Bharadwaj, Overse)

The SecUnit believes it went rogue as a result of malfunction, and that hacking its governor module would prevent a repeat occurrence. Confirmation of its sincerity comes from the same logs that Gurathin accessed for his arguments. (Volescu)

Gurathin's counter-counterargument:

Well it gave itself an edgy nickname

#murderbot #murderbot diaries #meta #verso writes #queue

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random2908 · 2 months ago

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Frustrating when a VC-funded company gets credit for being the "first" and the "leader," when they had a sub-component demo the same week we had a full-system demo. Like, we are easily 5-10 years ahead of them, it's ridiculous; their approach isn't even yet proven to work. But they get science youtubers talking about them.

Because they're VC-funded, they have a marketing/press department.

And because we're an employee-owned company working off of government contracts, well, most government contracts get slapped with an ITAR label (an old Cold-War-era law saying basically sharing scientific information counts as illegally selling arms/munitions). So if you want to publicize your work, including your company's products, you have to appeal that label. (Universities have specifically negotiated a blanket exemption, so if you spend your whole life in academic science you might never even know about this.)

(My previous employer filed those appeals several times a year in order to do press releases and publish journal articles and apply for patents. I think every single information-release appeal they filed went through, because there's no reason any of this stuff should be labeled as arms--it's literally the same stuff universities are doing. My current employer is afraid to, which I think is wrong-headed; at worst they'll just say no, and anyway, our non-restricted competitors are giving fucking lab tours to youtubers.)

#these restrictions mean you also can't have employees on visas working on these projects #my previous employer tried to appeal that too and failed--they were only able to appeal the dissemination of information part #so we had locked labs that my international coworkers weren't allowed in #(one got a green card and was allowed in eventually)#ironically the VC-funded company is doing it the same way I did it in my PhD thesis #two other people at the company did this stuff in their post-docs #all of us are over 40 (one guy is over 50 I'm pretty sure) so this is not a new technique--I got two MINOR papers on it 16 years ago #the MAJOR papers are like 25 years old #and we're all convinced it's NOT the right approach #granted the technique we are using is about 30 years old #in my literal thesis defense one of my committee members asked why I was using the technique the VC companies are now using #and if I had done the math to prove it was superior to the older technique #and I was like--everyone knows the new technique is superior that's why it's trendy #and my advisor (who was a genius) said the same thing and that it wasn't a fair question #but the guy who asked it was an ancient theorist who REALLY knew what he was talking about #and in retrospect he was completely right--I should have done the math comparing the techniques and the older technique IS better #a few weeks into my job here I did the math and found that if you use the BEST version of the new technique--one that only one group #has demonstrated can even be done and they didn't get all the way to the point of demonstrating an application like this #and you assume some generous efficiency numbers #it breaks even with the old technique #that's not what this VC group is doing so... not a chance lol

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colorfuldream · 4 months ago

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Okay so I've seen it a few times now and there are people who genuinely believe the Squid Sisters have the least content out of every group. I mean, I get forgetting Deep Cuts but the Squid Sisters do have as much as Off The Hook. Sure, OTH is starting to look like favorites now but the SS aren't left behind. Here's an itemized list:

They're in every main story mode. They have three whole games about them. The concept of story mode revolves around them. Just because they aren't proactive in them doesn't make it not count. Their quips and banter are what made us care and learn about them. It did flesh them out. They don't have to actively help to be main characters and receive development. The only game you could argue that is Splatoon 3 but it has a writing problem in general. It did close their story, subtle but interesting and well-written (for what Splatoon is), across the three games.

A short story. They're the only ones who have that. That has insane development, providing a lot of details about them. Like, that's a MAJOR thing that's lore-dumping so many things.

They're in almost every concert. They're in all but two concerts. They're canon too. This gives them a lot of presence in the franchise.

Lots of illustrations. Makes sense. Of course they are with how long they've been around. Still an important sign that they're a major part of the franchise (obviously, the main story is about them). It's always nice to see them in different situations anyways. They also get some lore out of them, fleshes them out and whatever. Which brings me to my next point.

Different outfits. It's not only giving us a sense of how they dress, but it's telling a story. Said it before but, for example, we know Marie likes dressing up for Story Mode and be a mentor of some sort. If you pull that string, you can get that she's someone who puts on a façade depending on the occasion and likes teaching/guiding people, her idea of mature and cool is a traditional outfit from her hometown.

Special Fest variants. Yes, they all do. However, the thing that differentiates them is that this is outside their game and, even though they were mostly reskins, they did get fully new outfits and hairstyles which neither other groups did.

Technically, they got a DLC. Even if it's the old hub and basically promo for Side Order.

They're in Smash Bros. That's not nothing. They're not spirits, they're full-on assist trophies. They better be in it honestly, but it's still something they have over the other two groups. It solidifies their status in the franchise.

Many songs, including remixes. Obviously, but they're also on the Splatfest list which never happened before outside of special events. They started it in Splatoon 2's Final Fest and started it in Splatoon 3's regular Fests. They're trend setters! Which leads me to...

Boss Fight. Final Boss, even. Callie started it. Literally. She fought us. The fact that she was The Final Boss™ puts her above the others. They wish they were her.

Solos. They did it first. They've also got not one but two mash-ups of their solos so it gotta count. I would argue that theirs are special too as they're meant to be solo pieces while the Anarchy Poisons are always put together be it on the soundtrack or the concerts. They were made to, and it's lovely, as Deep Cut's continuing the trend OTH's set: a united group that values each other and their work over fame. Their music is made to be together. Anarchy Rainbow and its Poisons is just that, something that's all of them, always. They were also fused in every live version, and the in-game live version, unlike Tide Goes Out and Bomb Rush Blush. These were forcefully mashed up as each sang over the other, desperately trying to drown out their will and win this fight. It's only now, years later, that they get an unexpected mash-up, joyful and harmonious —which in a way is a part of their story, them reclaiming this song as they bring their solos together. The Squid Sisters are working for themselves, they now do whatever they want with their careers and what they sing, how they sing, when they sing is up to them and only them.

They're the end credits of every game. Special mention to Splatoon 3 that just sacrifices its own idol group for them. Unlike Splatoon 2, Deep Cut was involved in Story Mode and for all the 10 minutes they spent in it, the end credits should have been theirs as they sure as hell didn't get a DLC. Their equivalent was a last minute addition at that, unceremoniously added later on without much spotlight. Jeez, they could have had a second collab song instead or something!

They've got the final battle song for every game. Makes sense because it's their story and their games, it's the culmination of their work every single time. Unlike the credits, they at least shared the spotlight with Deep Cut... Hey, if Marie's their boss, doesn't that make her a part of their group or vice-versa? She better be, she's the one handling their paperwork after all (poor woman, it's a mess too and they're not spending wisely. Shouldn't have been talking about becoming a manager, Marie, you're getting roped up in too much silliness and Callie won't help).

Participation in 2 Final Fests. By that, I mean actually having a team and representing it. Otherwise, they're involved in every Final Fest.

Merch. I mean why wouldn't they have some?? But it had to be added. Special note for the concert CD and special edition. I guess I'd put there the interview bit Marie conducted in Splatoon 3's soundtrack bonuses. That's another bit of trivia/insight on her work. The Nintendo Magazine interviews also count as they're relevant to their characters.

Their song is a major part of their world and franchise. Calamari Inkantation has a special place in the lore and the franchise. It's THE song but also THEIR song.

4 amiibos. They might not give their outfits (which I kinda like because I'm not fond of how they did it for the others) but they give out gear related to their story, the game, and that we should have gotten. At least they're fixing that flaw I guess.

Storyline during the Splatfests. Not sure if it should be added but it did culminate into long lasting conflict between the two of them and started their storyline. Since it's missing in Splatoon 3, I think it should be noted. It fleshes them out and makes them feel a bit more alive, like they're affected by the results.

Most of these could apply to Off The Hook too. My point is that the Squid Sisters haven't been neglected, not from Nintendo's point of view. They're more than included, arguably the stars of Splatoon 1 and 3. The thing is that Off The Hook is the fan favorite right now so most of our attention is on them, not the others. The Squid Sisters have also been so ingrained in the franchise that we're used to it. We readily accepted they would be the stars of Splatoon 3 because they took over most of Splatoon 2 until Octo Expansion. We assumed the other two groups would get DLCs, or that Deep Cut would be involved in OTH's like in the Main Story, only to realize that Nintendo didn't give a damn and gave the spotlight to OTH alone in an attempt to replicate what Splatoon 2 did. Obviously, once we got over Side Order, we kinda realized this was unfair and that there was favoritism. It didn't help that OTH was featured in regular battles and that Splatoon 2 and 3 handled Splatfests differently, with special events and work done to the idols. We've come a long way since the first game, which itself had changed plenty during its time, so it feels unfair that the Squid Sisters didn't benefit from what the others got or for as long. That doesn't mean they didn't get a lot and weren't the favorites for a long time.

Now, I'm gonna address the thing that made me write this in the first place:

They do have a story and development. Just because it wasn't in your face doesn't mean it didn't happen.

Up until Splatoon 3, the story wasn't as obvious as it could be when it came to the idols. Marina's background is clear-cut, because you cannot be too subtle about it, but apart from some big lines, it wasn't directly stated, nor was her development in Octo Expansion (it's heavily linked to Agent 8 and the Octavian but the fact that she comes to be comfortable in what species she is and overcomes her fear of being found out and rejected should count as a story). She's fascinating and it's important to the world.

But that doesn't leave the Squid Sisters flat and boring. They had an arc! Them slowly resenting each other because of their time as Splatcast anchors, because they were always pit against each other, because of the way being an idol works, is a story in itself. It was bad enough to get Callie to free Octavio, who's a terrible, dangerous person as far as she knew then, and go to the Octarians, poor, underground enemies. The Hypno-Shades are more like heavily suggesting you to obey, we know that Callie had some sort of free will to put glitter, of all things, into their ink. She also was fully conscious of her actions when freeing Octavio, and we know this guy isn't a mastermind and world class manipulator. Marie wasn't doing much better, working a lot and being stressed. Fame drove them apart and broke Callie down to the point of going to people who wanted hers dead. She freed a war criminal. Once Marie saved her, mostly from her own despair, they decided to do their own thing. They didn't need fame or their careers. Family was more important. Tidal Rush was their solos crashing against each other, not listening and trying to sing over the opponent, until Marie blasted on a song that meant the world to them. The hymn of sea kind. The song that they won that fateful contest with when they were young, the reason why their dream came true. The song that they sang when safinf their dear grandpa, powerful enough to make Octolings give up everything and try to join the surface. A beautiful memory. Something that was theirs. And so they sang. Together. "I remember everything!" The innocent days they practiced for the contest, the terrifying ride to Inkopolis, the nervousness of their first Splatcast. But they were together. She wasn't alone. Marie had always been on her side. Neither of them wanted this. If it had been up to them, nobody would have compared them to each other. They wouldn't have been choices for their last Splatfest. It's a certain kind of cruel to ask which of the two teenage girls was the better one. Callie wasn't angry at Marie, she was angry at the system. She felt awkward, self-conscious, worthless because of her status as a celebrity, because she as a person didn't matter. Her comfort? Who cares. Take the photos, sing the songs, be careful to be perfect. She was overworked, isolated, and the only person she could count on was put in the same position and told she was a competitor.

Fresh Start is the two of them reconnecting away from show business. Going back to their roots. They stop being idols afterwards, they don't sing much anymore. They get their own careers. Callie slowly finds the strength to be in the spotlight after so long and goes back to acting, unlike Marie this seems to be more of her thing. Marie keeps on with her podcast, now using it to hype Callie up. Splatoon 3 even shows us that Callie is some sort of spokesperson, announcing that an Inkopolis stage will undergo reconstruction. She's rebuilding her career on her own and making it her own. The Squid Sisters, while some of the most people in the world, weren't recognized in the Splatlands. Sure, Shiver and Frye probably didn't give a damn about Inkopolis musicians but Big Man is a fan, he's even showed them their music, and he still didn't recognize them. They're known for their music, their names possibly for themselves. Splatoon 3 is the only game not to give them a story, even its details don't imply much. But the previous two games did.

It's a story of two girls who got famous too soon, too suddenly, and got eaten by showbusiness. It's two young women taking their power back and breaking free from the idol life. It's a family that managed to heal from the damage fame caused over the years.

I dunno but I think it's beautiful and I'm a sucker for stories that criticize being an idol and family coming together. The Squid Sisters' entire thing was being idols, that's their entire concept, especially identical ones which is dehumanizing enough. It's fitting and not something you'd expect out of Splatoon of all places but it's the kind of franchise that gets surprisingly deep and dark in its smallest details.

No, they're not neglected or underdeveloped. Their story is there, just not as flashy as you'd expect. Their presence is something we're so used to that we don't clock it anymore, moreso when the other group gets attention too. Splatoon 3 didn't handle the writing well, as fun and silly as it gets, and it shows in a lot of ways. It's easy to go "so what was the point of the Squid Sisters being there?" when the story didn't bother doing anything with them for once but they weren't the only one neglected nor did they not get content in other ways!

#text #ondina's text posts!#splatoon #splatoon 3 #squid sisters #marie cuttlefish #callie cuttlefish #splatoon 2 #to clarify I do love them a bunch and will miss them!#I'm not saying they should get less; just that we need to acknowledge how much they get #it's okay for them not to be in the spotlight anymore #it's okay for them to be pushed aside to focus on the new groups #because now nothing has been set up if we're gonna continue with OTH or DC #it's not like they will disappear either if they're not front and center #at least Splatoon 2 didn't pretend it didn't focus on them and didn't force them with OTH when it was their turn!#I think Splat3 missed the mark with the pairing it had set up #imagine one of the SS being annoyed that DC keeps stopping them from saving their grandpa or angry they're not taking their idol job serious #ly like genuinely annoyed that Frye calls it a side hustle and that she doesn't care about it #maybe a bit in a “with everything it did to us you dare think it's nothing? you think it's easy?”#or all about the fans that got them here #hell maybe even use the fact that DC is basically nepo babies #at least Pearl WORKED for it since childhood #DC is a trio of descendants from influencial families that are in charge of Splatfests #I think antagonizing DC a little more would have made them more villainous and been a decent sideplot #add some spice to ROTM and show us a different side to the two groups!#DC is already showing them so why not show us a little more about the SS and maybe even something a little less pretty/agreeable?#we've already seen some of it

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