#why does scar need so many tags omg

[numinoussssss]

psst hey can you draw Scar he's cool

he is cool isn't he

[sleazysquid]

For the requests: Do you think Dabi is into any sort of piss marking? Like internal urination/golden showers, just filthy stuff that marks you as his? I've been thinking about this a lot and always kinda waver.

Smh putting me tf out with this one I’m in adoration omg. So many approaches to this it’s hard to choose one… but I really wanna fixate on the watersports, power aspect, I feel like there isn’t a lot of love out there for that sort of fetish so.. I might have gotten a little carried away with this ask…

This Is What The Devil Does (Dabi x Reader):

Word Count: 1.1k

Tags/warnings: female reader, HEAVY watersports action, a little bit of some power play happening here, scent marking, public humiliation (f receiving), established relationship, dubcon kinkplay, a little bit of dumbification and noncon pic taking at the end.

I’m definitely leaning towards Dabi being the one to bring it up at some point or finding out on accident that the both of you have a kink for it. Maybe via… starting out as a joke and peeing on you in the shower? When he’s in the comfort of your home, he’s usually kind and loving behind closed doors. In public though? He loves to treat you lower than dirt at times.

You’ve learned that at any point if you’re walking down the streets he can just pull you into an alleyway to use you as his personal, and quite beautiful, urinal. Depending on his mood he may or may not actually aim for your mouth. Not a day goes by where you’re not swallowing a few warm (sour) gulps of his urine, opting to wipe the tip clean on your hair. It’s safe to say most of his bodily fluids have been either consumed or worn as a fashion accessory now. You nearly die of embarrassment showing up to a league meeting knowing you fucking reek of his piss. It gets him off when someone asks, “god what’s that smell?” Knowing it’s you, and watching you slowly back away from group. Even through all the precautions you take, having fresh clothes to change into in your backpack, he finds out pretty quickly and snags the clothes when you’re occupied with something else before going out.

“How else are people supposed to know you’re mine? You said you were game for anything, so. I don’t see why you’re making such a sour face when I’m just doing what you asked. Besides, your tits look great when they’re in a piss soaked shirt.” He quips while tucking himself back in, lightly slapping your face before offering the same hand to help you off your knees.

Over time, Dabi’s grown confident in himself and this newfound power dynamic. You’re his and his alone. He may let the other men in the group make their snide comments towards you, but at the end of the day you’re the one covered in his scent at all times. But of course, it’s not just the power, or the embarrassment, but most of all the act itself. He gets creative, searching for more ways to incorporate piss play more and more.

What would be the ultimate conquest than to go inside? He’s contemplated back and forth about this idea— the health consequences perhaps… he does care to a degree, but how good it’ll feel to possibly both of you (but especially him). His communication isn’t the best in your relationship. Most of these bursts of kink occur spontaneously. On a normal night, he’s got you in a mating press. Your legs are a little achy from staying like that for so long. The heat from his hands inadvertently climbing up in temperature from how rough he’s fucking you. That familiar sinister smirk peaks up from the corners of his mouth.

“ ‘want me to fill you up, baby?” He questions in a low husk. The vague wording skirting around your thoroughly fucked mind.

You nod, begging him with your voice breaking with each jolt of his hips, “please fucking fill me up, I need it so bad!”

“Hah.. you asked for it..”

A sudden warmth surges through your entire body. His mouth falls open, a long sigh drawls out from the depths of his scarred chest. Eyes flittering ever so slightly from the feeling of relief, losing focus but trying to maintain contact with you. You begin squirming beneath him. This isn’t right, this shouldn’t be happening— it’s taken too far, you’ve been pretty open to everything he’s asked to try, but this is something way out of your comfort zone, something that hadn’t ever been discussed before. Clammy palms hold you down and force you to be even more of just a warm receptacle. His other hand snakes its way to your clit, forcing involuntary spurts of your orgasm follow suit; and coupled with the hot constant stream, it forces you to cum harder around his pissing cock. You feel so full from the ridiculous amount he’s letting into you. It overflows and dampens the sheets beneath you, dripping in every possible nook and fold while soiling his legs.

“It feels… so warm. I feel… so full.” You breathe out as the initial shock wears off and twists into dumbed down euphoria. You’re already so warm to him, so inviting. A personal slut who loves milking his cock for his cum, and now his piss. It’s such a strange sensation but you’re instantly fixated on it, on him, him, only him, and everything about him. You cry out his name as he empties his bladder inside your throbbing pussy, singing praises and begging him to start moving again.

“You really like it that much, huh?” Dabi’s face lights up.

“Fuck yes! Please… fuck yes!! Please start moving, I wanna feel it more, please Dabi??” Your dumbed down brain can’t even fully form sentences anymore, just little begs like a lost puppy.

You’re both in such a vulnerable state even with him having the upper hand, he can’t help but give in to your cute little pleas. His hips snap against you at a harsh tempo; creating disgusting, sopping wet noises that compete with the volume of your moans as his piss sloshes around inside you to a disgusting degree. Dabi’s not sure how long he can even last in this state anymore as you’re now fully intentionally sucking his cock in and out, creating a tight silky friction that makes him feel like he could cum at any second now. Arms outreach to him—inviting to become even closer to your body more than ever; you grip the fluffy black locks as he fixes open mouth kisses around the corners of your lips. With hands now on either side of your head, gently caressing, he chokes out beautiful breathy moans that fan over the shell of your ear as he spills hot spurts of his seed inside your spent cunt.

When he pulls out, a mixture of piss and cum flow out of your abused pussy. The filthy sight of it nearly hardens him back up. He’s tempted to try and coax another round or two out of you, but right now you look thoroughly exhausted and completely drenched in sweat. So he does what all great boyfriends do, gently lifts you up and gets you to the tub to help clean you up of course, but not before pulling out his phone to take a couple pictures. You just look too delicious and ruined to not memorialize such a feat.

3am: Dabi sent a photo to the groupchat

“I told you I’m keeping this one all to myself, you fucking creeps.”

[its-me-im-coraline]

More than your beauty // Thomas Raggi

words // 884

warnings // some descriptive self depricating thoughts, other than that its fluff. cliche as hell lol

pairing // Thomas Raggi x F!Reader

author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. i hope you are all ok and safe, especially if you are anywhere near any fires around the world.

request // yes, but I have no energy to search for it omg

summary // Reader is feeling quite insecure, more thoughts than she wanted are taking over her mind. Thomas finds her laying on their bed looking at photos of "everything she's not" while crying. The man can not stand how his love belittles herself that way while minimizing her worth to her looks.

This was not always a problem. Y/N was not always insecure to the point of breaking down. At least not when meeting Thomas. It was such a hard journey to finally learn to love herself, no dependency on anybody to validate to her what has been simply a fact: she’s wonderful, inside and out.

That’s exactly what drew Thomas in. Such a beautiful person with such a delightful soul, a presence that could simply put the guitarist to rest anytime he needed to relax. His perfect little partner in mischief. He was head over heels since maybe the beginning.

After the two started dating (and more specifically after the public got whiff of their relationship), that’s when things started going downhill for Y/N. All the comments on the daily, the posts about her appearance and how she ‘is not enough for Thomas’; all of it could break even the strongest of characters no matter how much one can try to deny it. The worst of all was all the comparison, to who they initially thought the man was dating and even his bandmate, Victoria. As much as Y/n adored the bassist, the comments comparing the two were painful as it gets.

At this moment, Thomas’ lover was sitting on his bed (the man himself being at rehearsals) thinkin about all those things that ‘should drive Thomas away’ from her. Your hair is not long enough, not light enough, not dark enough, not straight enough. Agh, those eyes… Who can even look into them and not be grossed out. The small scar from acne as a teenager, terrible. Those words kept haunting her, ruining her by the second. And truly within seconds there were tears in the girl’s eyes, one’s that would not stop pouring.

“I’ll go upstairs,” Thomas informed his friends, “I want to check on my love.”

Everyone in the house would joke about the infatuation he has for his partner, but Thomas does not mind. If anything, the jokes fuel his love even more, reminding him why he loves Y/N so much.

He couldn’t have been prepared for the sight in front of him when he walked in the bedroom. Y/N was on the floor crying, body towards the bed, face buried in the sheets and her arms. It was heartbreaking to see and Thomas could hear his heart whither at the sight.

“Cucciola,” he whispered, acting in an instant to pick her up, “hey, amore, it’s ok. I got you- sh, sh- I got you. It’s alright.”

His words did little to calm his lover down, if anything making it worse. He was the last person Y/N wanted to see in the state she found herself in. He just couldn’t see her like that, with tears in her eyes and sobbing. And for what? Stupid comments.

“What happened, my love?” His voice was smooth coming out his lips, leaving kisses around her face.

“It’s nothing, Thom-”

“It’s not nothing, Y/N. You’re crying. It’s something.”

Y/N knew there was no escaping Thomas now. He already saw, he already knew pretty much. Telling him the truth was the only logical thing to do. “Am I good enough for you, Thommy?” Yet once again his heart started breaking. “Of course, love, what are you even thinking about?”

“I mean, look at this girl. She’d be perfect for you. And Victoria, oh my god, she is beautiful as it gets! Why are you with me?”

If it was possible for his jaw to truly reach the ground like in cartoons then Thomas’ jaw would have done just that. This was downright the craziest thing he ever heard, a thought that not even a little bit crossed his mind. Not when he met her or started dating her and especially not now.

“Y/N. Amore - amore della mia vita… Where is this coming from? How’d you even think that?” So many questions he had now.

“I-I- nothing. Just stumbled across some photos and that’s that…”

Thomas was not convinced but he knew not to push any further right now, instead opting for stating his side in this situation.

“Amore,” he began, taking the girl’s hands in his own, “you are indeed looking beautiful. Always, in your all over the place state in the mornings and you're all dressed up at night. You amaze me by how beautiful you are.”

It was now Y/N’s turn to get shocked. It’s not like her lover did not show her affection and care on a daily basis, but the man has a bit of a hard time with words sometimes, usually going for actions.

“I’m not with you because of how you look, cucciola. I am with you because I love you. Because I love how you hug me when I cry, how you never shame me for the things that make me, me. I love you because you bring the light into my life, even in the darkest of days.”

No words came out of Y/N’s mouth, only sitting there and trying to process the words that were spoken. But Thomas had a different plan, lips crashing onto hers, conveying all of his love in that small little kiss.

“You are so much more than your beauty, my love.”

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11 @teenyweenynightghost @superchrystaldrug

[drarryruinedme7]

Last year I made a post with all my fave Drarry fics from my first year of fandom. Have my second year wrap up! Listed by Rating and then length. 

RATING: TEEN AND UP AUDIENCES

Beautiful by @xx-thedarklord-xx​​ (2017; 8.9k)

Summary: With the second task looming closer, Harry escapes to the Black Lake to open the egg, in the hopes of avoiding Myrtle. The Mersong isn't just helpful in figuring out that Mermaids are real, it attracts his very own handsome Merman.

*I didn’t know I love merpeople AUs until I read this one. It was cute and sweet and I’m really glad I read it. 

Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by @waspabi​​ (2017; 93.3k)

Summary: 'You're a wizard, Harry' is easier to hear from a half-giant when you're eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you're seventeen and late for work.

*What can I say. This is a masterpiece, it absolutely entered my heart to never leave it again. Best AU ever!!!

Away Childish Things by @letteredlettered​​ (2018; 153.8k)

Summary: Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him.

* This has been the turning point of my Drarry passion this year. First, I discovered Lettered (good Lord why hadn’t I before?!) and then, well. This fic brought out so many feelings in me and I’ve already re-read it something like 5 or 6 times in the span of a few months. Amazing.

RATING: MATURE

you’ve got the antidote for me by Kandakicksass (2018; 20.7k)

Summary: When Harry Potter unintentionally severs their soulbond before it can fully form, Draco Malfoy resigns himself to a slow death and decides not to burden Harry with a soulmate he's made it very clear he doesn't want.He's never been selfless before, but for Harry, he can try.

* The angst!! It’s usually not my cuppa, but this was bittersweet and just so well written, I couldn’t stop reading. Find the rec for this one at this post.

RATING: EXPLICIT

Give Me Sweet Oblivion by @tryslora​​ (2012; 4k)

Summary: Italy seems like a long way to go to keep a fetish secret. But the club is exclusive, and the far away location, and Muggle nature, promises anonymity from Wizarding Britain. The only problem is that sometimes, great minds think alike.

*Super hot, I love finding old gems like this one. Plus, Italy. Go, folks!

Shiny Things, Slightly Damaged by @lqtraintracks​​ (2020; 5.3k)

Summary: Harry may not ever have had to see it if McGonagall hadn’t decided it was a good idea to hold a ceremony on the grounds outside before the Sorting in the Hall. And by ‘it’ he’s referring to Draco Malfoy on a motorbike.

*jsklajdksajfa This one! THIS ONE! Slayed me. I read it feverishly and then like, fainted at Draco on a motorbike.... this fic surprised me and I 100% loved it.

A Ghost of Blissful Feelings by @alpha-exodus​​ (2020; 6k)

Summary: Harry hadn't expected to spend his eighth year fucking Draco Malfoy, but it's the only thing that helps him let go.

*Dunno guys, I’m amazed by how much this one hit me. You should read the tags before diving in, but it was darkish in the right way, Harry and Draco suffers and find peace in a ‘’special’’ way, but I stand by it. Hot and intense.

Tell Me (What you Need) by @keyflight790​​ (2019; 6k)

Summary: Even though Harry was paying for his Dom, there were limits; breaking points in which someone would refuse, no matter how many Galleons were pushed in their direction.

*Okay, I may be biased because this is a gift for me, but Chris never lets down with her amazing writing and this has everything I need and more: Dom!Rentboy!Draco and a perfectly sweet Harry with a Daddy!kink. I mean.

Dangerous by Faith Wood (2014; 6.3k)

Summary: Being trapped in a dungeon with Malfoy — who's a werewolf, a former Death Eater, and a giant git — is definitely dangerous. Harry has no reason to be excited. None at all.

*Y’all know Faith Wood is like my n.1 fave Drarry author. I have no idea why I had never read this one though!!! It’s actually phenomenal, scorching hot and just dsjkafjaks love this werewolf!Draco. OMG.

Scent and Sensibility by aidaninkling (2018; 7.5k)

Summary: [...] Draco's always known he'd be married off as a trophy omega, but suddenly his mother's trying to make him king by promising him to some stupidly good-looking alpha and she just won't stop smiling at him. Does fate's cruelty know no end?!

*This blew my mind. A/B/O AU so hot I melted while reading it and I loved it so much that I re-read it three times IN A ROW. No kidding. Read it. 

The Eighth Tale by @letteredlettered​​ (2012; 12k)

Summary: Draco Malfoy tries to fix the past, but instead mucks it up some more. For Harry, it all becomes quite clear.

*Back to Lettered. I love Time Travel fics, and this just delivered perfectly. The ending was also enigmatic enough to keep me wandering, which I always appreciate in these kind of stories. 

Sex, Lies and Veritaserum by @letteredlettered​​ (2011; 17.9k)

Summary: This entire fic is one long conversation about sex.

*LOL alright, I’ve developed a new obsession this year (clearly). This was ...gosh! Hot but it also gives away a certain level of intimacy and trust between Draco and Harry to be so open about their kinks... it was perfect.

On One’s Knees by pir8fancier (2008; 33.8k)

Summary: The war is over and to the victors go the spoils.

* The fic which made me fall in love with DownAndOut!Draco. 

The Pirate and the Prince by @nerdherderette​ (2019; 49.2k)

Summary: Draco can't believe that fate and circumstance have made him a stowaway on the Master of Death's ship. He doesn't know what's worse: the dread pirate's legendary vendetta against the aristocracy, or the fact that his captor is the most infuriating yet irrefutably fascinating man Draco has ever met.

*Okay y’all. Nerd is a great person and author. She is phenomenal. And this fic shows it so well. The pirate!AU the Drarry fandom both needed and deserved. Sublime.

Unhook the Stars by jad (2016; 70.5k)

Summary: [...] Seventy-thousand words of pornographic discourse between two boys-turned-men that still haven't learned how to communicate like normal people – with words. Guest appearances by Pansy Parkinson, Neville Longbottom, Hermione Granger, Blaise Zabini, Teddy Lupin, Gregory Goyle, the Weird Sisters, ex-wives, several Weasleys, a Boggart, and a Honey Badger.

*Again, Dom!Draco and such a beautiful sub!Harry. They stole my heart. In this fic they grow up together through the aftermath of the war and they just... they have this intense Dom/sub relationship, I can’t... explain how much I loved this. Scorpius also makes his appearance and it’s so real and cute!

Such Great Heights by aideomai (2015; 93.3k)

Summary: Draco Malfoy, wide-eyed and pale and in a decidedly ragged shirt, was crouched next to the pile of whatever the dragon had been eating. Harry threw himself to a halt and yelled, “Merlin, how many times do I have to save your life?”

*This is one of the last ones I’ve read. Find my rec for it here. Such a cool fic, with a shunned Draco who gets to be so happy in the end, it made me happy too.

Burn The Witch by @lettersbyelise​​ (2019; 95.8)

Summary: When Harry Potter is sent in to investigate Draco Malfoy’s successful potions company, posing as Draco’s bodyguard, he doesn’t know the case will launch a series of events that will change his life — and Draco’s. A story about choices, scars, Chopin piano pieces, and finding all kinds of love in the most unexpected places.

*I do not have the words to express what this fic means to me. First of all, it’s how I met Elise who’s an amazing person and who I’m glad to call friend. She’s the sweetest. And also incredibly talented. This fic will take your breath away from the first word to the last one. Smol!Scorpius is perfectly characterised and my absolute favourite bit of the fic. 

Who we are in the shadows by @quicksilvermaid​​ (2019; 99.7k)

Summary: What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life. When he comes across Draco Malfoy in the criminal underbelly of Wizarding London and in need of protection, Harry figures bringing him in to face the Ministry's justice is his ticket back to everything he's lost. But nothing is exactly as it seems. Not even Harry himself. And as he gets drawn further and further into Malfoy's world of honour and deception he finds himself questioning everything he thought he knew—about his childhood nemesis, the Ministry job he misses so much, and most of all, about himself. What happens when you’re forced to see that you were wrong?

*Another incredible person who I got to know better thanks to her breathtaking storytelling and her sweetness for sharing it with me. Quick made something amazing with this fic and I urge you to read it. It was my first creature fic ever, first time I read about werewolves and I totally fell in love with it. Sheer perfection. 

Freedom to be by @quicksilvermaid​​  (2019; 169.5k)

Summary: Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived. 12 years after the war, he's become the Boy Who Lived For Everyone Else. He has the perfect wife. The perfect house. The perfect job. The perfect friends. Only nothing feels perfect. Until one day he stumbles across a club called Release and begins a journey of self-discovery that takes him to a very different place.

*Well, could I just miss out on another one of Quick’s great works? With, again, Dom!Draco!??? No, I couldn’t! This is such a great exploration of BDSM and what it means and Harry’s path into it. 

19 Years and 5 Minutes Later by TheMightyFlynn (2015; 202.8k)

Summary: Five minutes after his happily-ever-after, Harry finds himself locked in the public loos with an angry Draco Malfoy and a need that he has denied for 19 years.

*Find my rec for this fic here. It’s really long and has Ginny bashing, but it’s totally worth it!! 

[fruitcoops]

Can you do one where it turns out greyback injuring Remus way back years ago was actually caught on camera and that video of young remus getting his shoulder ripped is like released at a hockey game on the screen or maybe just put online and everyone sees what happens Omg please I'm begging you to do this!!! ILYYY

Hello anon! This is a really interesting idea and I’ve been thinking about it for a while--the NHL doesn’t allow security cameras in locker rooms, but I assumed there would be audio somewhere from one nearby. People who leak ~scandalous information~ on the internet are literally the worst.

Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for graphic descriptions of injury (mostly the sounds)

“How did this happen?” Remus asked, wincing internally at the tremor in his voice. He was shaking from head to toe; it was a miracle he hadn’t started screaming yet. Then again, he wasn’t sure that he would be able to stop. “How the hell did this happen?”

“We don’t know,” Alice said quietly in the chair across from him. “This information was confidential and we haven’t even presented it to the NHL board for review. Someone must have leaked it to the press.”

“Why does this keep happening to me? First Sirius, and now—” He pressed his lips together as his voice cracked. There were a few beats of silence. “Why did you call me in here? I already saw it on the internet.”

“We need you to confirm it was you and Fenrir.” Alice looked him in the eyes. “If you don’t think you can listen to this, Remus, that’s okay, but it will help us build a stronger case to get him punished.”

He took a deep breath. “Can—can Sirius come and sit with me for it?”

“Of course.” She stood and left the room, leaving him alone with the coach.

“You’ve listened to it, haven’t you.”

Arthur nodded. “I’m so sorry, Remus.”

“I don’t need you to be sorry, I need people to not look at me like some sob story.” Bitter fury rose in his throat, though he wasn’t angry with Arthur. “I worked hard to get there and even harder to come back. I’m done dwelling on the past. This is going to undo everything and I’m sick of it.”

“Did the team know?”

“I told some of them when Sirius was at All-Stars.” Remus knew Arthur remembered the fight; he had chewed Sirius out for it as soon as practices resumed. “Didn’t tell my parents, though.”

Arthur closed his eyes and let out a long breath. The door clicked open behind him. “Re?”

“Hey, baby.” Instant relief washed over Remus, though he still felt like he would lose it at any moment.

Sirius settled into the chair next to him and held out his hand—Remus took it immediately, scooting their chairs closer together so their shoulders touched. “Are you ready?” Alice asked, picking up a remote. Remus nodded.

The video was grainy, but the audio was pristine. A few voices—familiar voices, I remember them clear as day—jumbled together as the last members of the team filtered out of the locker room. “See you tomorrow, Moony!” one called over his shoulder. “Great game!”

“Bye, Tags!” Remus said from inside. Did I really sound that young?

The hallway outside the locker room was empty; he heard himself shifting around inside as he stretched out. Left thigh, right thigh, left calf, right calf, reach and roll. “Hey, Lupin.” Fenrir’s gravelly voice made him freeze and Sirius rested his other hand on top of theirs.

“Sup, Backer.” A light smack signaled their fistbump. “That was a beautiful goal you had at the end of the third, by the way. The scouts definitely saw.”

“They certainly did. Are your folks here tonight?”

“Yeah, Jules was so excited. He’s been bouncing off the walls for the past couple days.” The unbridled fondness in his younger voice was a balm. Jules had been convinced that he would be drafted to the NHL right after that game.

“They’re saying you’ll be number one.”

“Really?” Young Remus laughed. “I dunno, man, there are a lot of players this year. You and me are neck and neck, right?”

Dumbass! he wanted to shout. Just shut up for once! “Neck and neck,” Fenrir muttered, barely loud enough for the camera to pick up. “Hey, do you need a hand with your stretches?”

“Sure, thanks. Might have a bruise from your pads tomorrow, eh?” The friendly joke made him wince. More shuffling noises followed. The hall stayed empty.

“Here?” Fenrir asked. There was a dangerous edge to his voice and Remus swallowed around the sudden dryness of his mouth.

“Yeah, that’s—okay, that’s actually a bit too far, can you let up a bit? Fenrir, you’re pulling too hard.” Panic seeped in. “Fenrir, stop, you’re hurting me—”

There was a horrible cracking noise and younger Remus’ strangled shout cut off abruptly as his shoulder came out of the socket. He squeezed his eyes shut and gripped Sirius’ hand. If he focused, he could still feel Fenrir’s fingers pressing his face into the mats.

“‘Look at me, I’m Remus Lupin, I’m the fastest player on the ice and I’ll be number one’,” Fenrir mimicked as Remus’ agonized whines continued. “You think you’re so clever. So perfect. You’ve never had to work a day in your life. I’m the best player out there and the scouts are fucking idiots if they think you’re better.”

A muffled wail ended with a gasp and a series of pops. “Please—”

“Shut the fuck up,” Fenrir growled. “Look at you now, crying like a girl. You’re never going to tell anybody about this, because I know your secret.” Remus’ breath shuddered. “Oh, yeah, I know all about you. If you even think about tattling, everyone is going to know.”

“Ple—ah.” Sirius’ grip tightened around his fingers as Remus’ sharp cry caught in his chest. The green-tinted video fuzzed out for a moment, but still nobody walked past. Fenrir had planned this well.

“You’re nothing now, Lupin. You are damaged goods and you’ll never set foot on the ice again.” His voice lowered. “If you do, I’ll find you.”

There was a thud as he finally released Remus’ arm and quiet, wheezing sobs filled the silence. “What did you do to me? Oh my god, oh my god, it hurts so much, what the hell did you do?”

Remus tasted something salty on the edge of his lips and pressed his thumb against Sirius’ ring. This was real. This was his. Sirius loved him. The team loved him.

“I did what I had to do. Say hi to Jules for me.”

The locker room door opened a few seconds later and Fenrir walked out, flexing his hand. With the open door, Remus’ hoarse weeping was clearer as he was left alone on the floor. The video ended.

“Remus.” Alice held out a box of tissues, her voice gentle as the screen went dark. He reached out for one, but his hand was shaking too bad to grab it; Sirius took one and carefully wiped his cheeks dry with feather-light touches.

“That was him,” Remus managed around the boulder in his throat. “That was Fenrir Greyback, and that was me.”

“Would you be able to swear it in court?”

“What the fuck do you think?” Remus snarled. Sirius ran his thumb over his knuckles. “Do you want to see the scars on my shoulder, too? What reason do I have to lie?”

“I meant are you prepared to talk about this in front of people?” Alice rephrased, calm and collected as ever. “This is a traumatic event and I don’t want to force you into anything.”

“Remus, you’re a valued player on the team,” Arthur said. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you’re safe in this league.”

“Don’t look at me differently. Now that you know this, now that everyone knows, people will treat me like I’m fragile. I’m the same person I was two days ago and this will not change how I play.”

“I know.” Arthur folded his hands on the desk. “You’re a fighter, Loops. That’s one of the reasons I wanted you on my team.”

“Do you two need a moment before you head back out?” Alice asked, glancing between him and Sirius. “We’re going to kick the reporters out and then everyone’s going to go home for the day while we talk to the board.”

“We do, yeah.” Remus’ voice wavered and coach stood, following Alice into the hall.

“Oh, mon loup,” Sirius murmured, standing and pulling him into a hug. A kiss pressed against the top of his head and Remus grabbed the back of his soft shirt like it was the only thing holding him steady. “I am so sorry.”

“You already knew.”

“No, I didn’t. You told me, but—” Sirius faltered. “I had no idea how bad it was. The things he said to you…”

“Were wrong.” Remus finished. He had spent so many long nights and dark days convincing himself of that.

“They were wrong. You are not damaged goods,” Sirius said fiercely, pulling back to hold his face in his hands. His eyes were fiery. “Listen to me, Remus. You are not damaged. You are everything to me and I love you for exactly who you are.”

“I love you, too.” Remus’ lower lip wobbled and he rested his forehead on Sirius’ chest again. “Hearing it—I already knew what happened, but hearing it was horrible.”

“It was.”

“I’m sorry I made you listen with me.”

“Don’t be sorry, mon amour. I’m with you through the good, the bad, and everything else. I’m glad I was with you for this.”

“The team…” He trailed off and sighed. “I don’t want them to see that. My folks, too.”

“I think they already have,” Sirius admitted. “But they love you so much and they’ll be here for whatever you need.”

“We have to go sometime.” He took a deep breath and stepped back, rubbing his eyes and kissing Sirius quickly. “Alright, let’s go.”

They made it four steps down the hall before James appeared and engulfed Remus in a hug. “Holy shit, I’m so angry,” he choked out on a harsh breath. “I love you, man.”

“Love you too, J. Where’s everyone else?”

“Inside. I called dibs on first hug.”

“Have they all seen it?”

“Some of it. I don’t know if anyone watched it all the way through.” He sniffled and squeezed Remus tighter. “I don’t know how you came back from that.”

“PT helped.” He closed his eyes and leaned into James. “So did you guys. I couldn’t have made it this far without you.”

“Neither could we.” James pulled back. “Do you want to see them or are you heading out?”

“Heading h—”

“I want to see them,” Remus interrupted quietly. Sirius raised his eyebrows. “It’s going to happen sometime. Might as well be now.”

James nodded and walked over to the locker room door. “Ready?”

Remus laced his fingers with Sirius’. “Let’s do it.”

[timextoxhajima]

get to know the blog!

I had to do it on my main because I couldn't copy the entire post rip @banana-binbin why cant i tag u wtf LMAO

Rules: answer questions and tag another blog you would like to get to know better.

Tagging: @seasideheeseung @tinisprout @saltyboyz @haechanhues

.. .. .. ..

what day is your birthday? April 12

what’s your favorite color? blue or white

what’s your lucky number? 4, 8 and 12 (sometimes 9)

do you have any pets? i used to have a hamster named pepper <3

how tall are you? 163cm/5'4 ish

how many pairs of shoes do you have? too fucking many - i own 2 pairs of converse, 1 vans, 1 adidas, 2 charles and keith, 1 superga, and like 5 shoes that isn't of a specific brand (the kinds you buy at cotton on/general stores)

favourite song? too many

favourite movie? the bucket list, interstellar, marley & me, spirit the stallion of the cimarron

what would your ideal partner be like? no clue but i definitely do lean towards a guy who's not really afraid of putting himself out there, someone passionate and considerate, someone who will stand up for himself, someone who's got situational awareness and has a credible EQ (cause i fucking hate it when a person cant read a room or says things without thinking), someone who's athletic/isnt a caveman LMAO and it'll be nice if he can out-alpha my ass some day because I'm too alpha irl for my own good HA

do you want children? if they are on 4s and covered with fur and cant speak then yes

have you gotten in trouble with the law? no

bath or shower? bath

what color socks are you wearing? I'm not wearing socks LMAO

favourite type of music? no clue, probably jazz or lounge or r&b tbh. the only time i listen to anything more hyped is when I'm dancing

how many pillows do you sleep with? too fucking many HAHAH i have 1 for my head, another rectangular pillow to hug and one big bolster to hug too, i have a tiny baby pillow and like 8 plushies on my bed LMAOOOOOO

what position do you sleep in? usually on one side, outer leg thrown over the pillow and ill hug something to sleep

what you don’t like when you’re sleeping? omg honestly anything, because im a light sleeper. someone walking in (even when the door's open), or picking something up, can wake me up

what do you have for breakfast? i didn't have breakfast LMAO

have you ever tried archery? nope

favourite fruit? no clue. probably strawberries or mango or passionfruit esp in drinks

favourite swear word? oh HAHAHAH I'm really inclined to saying 'fuck me' or 'fuck' LMAO i also know a couple of malay/canton/hokkien swear words too

do you have any scars? i have almost-unnoticecable scars on my knees cause i was an active kid and also fell a lot, i have scars on my shins from skating boots being strapped too tight, i have a scar on my lower back because i was playing hide and seek once and rammed my spine into a corner, i have a scar on my second toe on my right foot because my friend was chasing after me with champagne and i tripped on the stairs and tore the skin right off

are you a good liar? depends LMAO

what’s your personality type? INFJ-T

what’s your favorite type of girl? the ones who know how to stand up for themselves BUT aren't a know-it-all

innie or outtie? innie

left or right handed? right

favorite food? idk i eat anything i don't hate LMAO

favourite foreign food? NO CLUE I EAT ANYTHING THAT LOOKS GOOD AND SMELLS GOOD ANDADDF

are you clean or messy? I'm a backhanded neat freak as long as it doesn't bother me

most used phrase? these days it's 'stop bullying me'

how long does it take you to get ready? depends on where I'm going

do you talk to yourself? nope

do you sing to yourself? mhm

are you a good singer? nope

biggest fear? not succeeding in my future career prospects

are you a gossip? depends

do you like long or short hair? both is fine

favourite school subject? literature/writing

introvert or extrovert? introv

what makes you nervous? bullying

who was your first real crush? the kid in my kindergarten LMAO

how fast can you run? p fucking fast actually i clocked in 11 seconds for a 100m shuttle run

what colour is your hair? dark brown

do you like your own name? ehhhhh idk man 'dana' was named after dana scully from the x files and she's beautiful and smart but like ?? and then my Chinese name means sensitivity and fluidity (as in water) but like ????? HAHAHA

what makes you angry? too many things LMAO

do you want a boy or a girl as a child? if i had any, I've always wanted 1 each but i don't want kids so-

what are your strengths? i think i crack people really easily, like people generally open up to me pretty quickly

what are your weaknesses? I'm a bit of a pushover irl, i cant really say no and i take up a job whenever someone needs help

what’s the color of your bedspread? teal with green cacti

what’s the color of your room? white and blue!

[snickiebear]

yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you. 

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them. 

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are. 

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok 

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. 

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn 

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL. 

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A. 

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip. 

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH. 

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about. 

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it. 

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it. 

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay. 

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time. 

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps. 

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing. 

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA  

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.” 

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic. 

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

[coffeewaff1e]

This is my opinion on Kimi’s merch. I just wanna say that I also love this man a lot, he was basically why I fell in love with the sport itself. I’ve supported this man for his driving and interview ways but that doesn’t mean I agree with everything he does.

The merch line I’m talking about is the one with West Coast Choppers (WCC), founded by Jesse James (JJ). Things will be hyperlinked for easy reference. This gets very long. I’m long-winded.

So in case you didn’t know, Kimi’s merch has raised some eyebrows due to certain symbols on them that could point towards the Nazi Party. Namely being his face mask and t-shirt design as seen below:

Now, where does the Nazi symbolism come in? Let me start with the face mask. On the right of “7″, there is a symbol, and it’s supposed to point towards WCC, since it is their logo (1st in collage below).

However, it is more commonly known as an Iron Cross (2nd pic below) and it has been in use for a very long time, ever since 1813 as a military decoration. Nazi Germany picked it up in 1933, with an added swastika in the centre (3rd pic below). Now compare those three and look at the logo of WCC, pretty damn similar right?

The Iron Cross, with the swastika, is still unfortunately used by and seen on neo-Nazis. It’s also recognised as a hate symbol. In the article linked, it is said that bikers adopted the Iron Cross to add “shock value” or to signify rebellion and as time went on, it became a logo used by many on clothing, equipment, etc. So we do have to keep in mind what context we see the Iron Cross in, as it’s not always representing neo-Nazism or white supremacy.

JJ has said before that his logo is actually based on the Maltese Cross (2nd pic below), and I don’t need my glasses to see that they’re very different.

Instead I think he might’ve actually been referring to the Cross Pattée (3rd pic below), which is a similar cross that at times, is mistakenly referred to as the Maltese Cross. However, it is worth noting that the Iron Cross is recognised as a variant of the Cross Pattée. (mentioned in the Wiki articles of Cross Pattée and Maltese Cross)

So, the WCC logo is a Cross Pattée, which the Iron Cross is a variant of, but definitely not a Maltese Cross, as stated by JJ. 

So now you would say, it’s a Cross Pattée, not an Iron Cross, therefore there’s no link to Nazis. I can agree with you on that, it is a stretch to connect the 2 at this point, but let me add more context as I go along in this post. Bear with me.

-

Moving on to the t-shirt design. 

“Kimi” is designed with a lightning bolt for the “K”, to represent him being fast, as seen from the t-shirt’s name, “Kimi Fast As Heck Tee”.

Though...there is also a hate symbol that depict lightning bolts, called the SS Bolts (seen below). As you can tell from the name, it’s also related to neo-Nazism and white supremacy. You might say, “both bolts (“K” and SS bolt) are different”, which I agree they are, but who in their right mind would copy it so blatantly? Would you want WCC to add another bolt? Make the base of the bolt in the “K” to be flat as well? This is already after they’ve been accused before of using Nazi symbols and having their merch outright banned for it. 

Like the Iron Cross, the bikers adopted it for themselves. So, we cannot say for sure that just because they sport this symbol, they’re bad. 

I know lightning bolts are used EVERYWHERE. Even Harry Potter had one on his forehead...does that mean he’s bad too?! No. With context provided, things can change. So if the books had mentioned Harry doing salutes with his right hand and swastikas decorating his room then that bolt would mean something...🤷🏻‍♀️y’know🤷🏻‍♂️.

So is it still a stretch at this point to say WCC/the design is linked to neo-Nazis? Yes, but the stretch has lessened a little bit.

-

We move on to just WCC and JJ now. I’m just going to straight up use these pictures lol. I don’t think there’s anything much to say for the 1st pic, it speaks a thousand words. 2nd pic, I understand it’s his friend doing something stupid but JJ seems fine with it and it’s obvious he doesn’t find it wrong, as evidenced by the 1st pic.

Now, let’s look at a bit of WCC’s merch that I found online. There are other designs I wanted to include as well but I’ll just focus on these two.

Left | Right

Do they look familiar? No? 

How about now?

The Reichsadler (Imperial Eagle), is the heraldic eagle used by the Holy Roman Emperors and in the coats of arms of Germany, even till now. Different eras in Germany had different depictions. Nazis used the ones above, with swastikas.

It is also recognised as a hate symbol, appropriated by neo-Nazis and white supremacists. In their case, the swastika can be replaced by other symbols such as the SS Bolts or Celtic Cross. In places where swastikas are prohibited, the inside of the circle/wreath are occasionally left blank.

Notice how both the swastika and WCC logo is tilted slightly, and how a wreath is being held by the eagle on the white shirt. The resemblance is uncanny, no?

Before you bring up the eagle depicted on the Great Seal of the United States, I’m just going to say, don’t. The designs are very different and original sketches of it dates all the way back to 1782. It uses a bald eagle, holds an olive branch and arrows on each leg and has a shield as the focal element.

The 2nd pic looks more like the 1st than the 3rd. Just saying.

-

I’m at the end of my comparisons. If I see everything on it’s own, without taking into account the others for more background/context, of course there’s no link to Nazis or whatever. It’s just a Cross Pattée and a lightning bolt. No big deal, right?

Bikers, which is what WCC is about, did use the Iron Cross and SS Bolts for shock value. They weren’t promoting neo-Nazism or white supremacy with them.

But now that I’ve shown you the pictures of JJ and his friend doing a Nazi Salute and other merch resembling Nazi symbols, it kinda adds up. It’s no longer a stretch to say it’s linked, it’s reasonable. I’ve given you more context, do with it what you will.

To me, WCC designs are in very poor taste since they are based on “outlaw biker culture”, who literally appropriated them from Nazis. Am I calling them Nazis? No, because I don’t know what went through their minds when they designed and approved them, so I can’t say that. I am, however, calling them really fucking stupid though, and that’s being nice. They have shown that they do not care for what the symbols represent and the history behind it, it’s being wilfully ignorant.

So for Kimi to collaborate with them? It’s disappointing for sure. For him to wear it so blatantly? I’m just gonna say he’s an idiot, because I really don’t think he knows what it means, which...might seem confusing but Kimi really doesn’t seem to be the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to stuff outside of F1 cars. Really. I honestly think he sees things in a literal way so this collaboration to him is just with a famous person and motorcycles, nothing else. At this point, I just hope he stops wearing them and stops the collaboration.

-

So the above was the logical and rational part of me explaining why I think it’s wrong for Kimi to have those symbols on his merch. It is my opinion and my perspective.

Now here comes the irrational part of me cause I feel like it’s really obvious?

The damn crosses are so similar, like wtf Cross Pattée or not, it still looks like a fucking Iron Cross, no?? And who do we think of when we think of the Iron Cross? Then there’s the SS Bolt, which is nothing on its own but seeing WCC’s other merch with the fucking eagle holding a wreath with the WCC logo tilted, JUST LIKE THE NAZI’S, isn’t it fucking obvious?? Omg like I don’t like people “reaching” or “twisting things to fit the agenda” but this is literally fucking not. I started out trying to defend Kimi in my mind but after reading about JJ and seeing the other WCC merch designs, I just can’t.

Context/background matters!! Though it wasn’t really a good one, please refer back to my Harry Potter and his lightning scar example. 

I also liked what @mistressemmedi had to say about it here.

This post won’t show up in searches/tags so...haha fml I’m speaking into a void.

[vampsiltonpitch]

Get to know me tag

Thanks for tagging me, @iminthisstanshit 💛

Gonna put a cut here, bc it’s longgg...

When is your birthday: October 23rd

What is your favourite colour: Blueeeee

What is your lucky number: I don't have one and I've always wondered how people choose theirs 👀

Do you have any pets: Not rn, but I used to have a fish

How tall are you: 1.65 m

How many pairs of shoes do you have: I have... a lot. I’m pretty sure I’m over 20. Ik I don’t need so many of them, but. Yes.

Favourite song: I can’t choose just one! I’m just gonna go with some kind of top 3 favorites I’d never get tired of, which would be, “Baby I’m Yours” by Arctic Monkeys, “Read My Mind” by The Killers, and “Ode To The Mets” by The Strokes.

Favourite movie: Again, top 3, “How to lose a guy in 10 days”, “Interestellar”, and “Hercules” (the Disney one!)

What would be your ideal partner: There’s no ideal for me, tbh. Like, I don’t have a list of specific things I’d like that person to have. But if they have a pretty smile, like to read, and smell good, that’d be cool hahah

Do you want children: Not something I’ve reeeeeally been dreaming about since kid, but I’m not opposed to it. It’s like, if it happens, it happens, and if it doesn’t, then it doesn’t. I’d be okay with both, I think (or at least think as of now). :)

Have you ever gotten in trouble with law: Nope, I’m quite the pacifist lmao

What colour socks are you wearing: They’re neon green omg

Bath or shower: Shower, always. I don’t really get the point of having baths asjkjs

Favourite type of music: I’m not sure if I’ve got one, bc my all playlists go super random. I’d classified it as varied.

How many pillows do you sleep with: I only use one, but I’ve three

Which position do you sleep in: If it’s not face-down, then it’s sideways, mainly to the left bc I’ve got reflux since I was a baby, sAD

What don't you like when you are sleeping: When I wake up in the middle of the night bc my bladder doesn’t know how to wait until the morninG, C’MON!

What do you have for breakfast: It depends on the day and how many time I’ve got for it, but I never go without coffee or tea.

Have you ever tried archery: Never, but that’d be cool

Favourite fruit: Strawberries<3.

Favourite swear word: I don’t swear that often, if ever hahah so I don’t have one, sorry kajsksj

Do you have any scars: Who doesn’t? I don’t have many that really stand out, but one of the biggest ones is on my hand from when I got burned with the clothes iron as a kid. 🤪

Are you a good liar: I’ve got away with so many of them in my life, I’m actually ashamed of saying yes...

What is your personality type: I’m always bad at describing it, but I guess I’d go with... easy going, super talkative, a good listener, random at times... Is it okay if label myself as kind and nice, too? Idk hahah

What is your favourite type of girl: Is this romatic-related? Friendship-related? Fiction-related? Too vague, guys. Too vague...

Left or right handed: Rightttt

Favourite food: BBQ RIBS WITH FRIES, MY BELOVEDSSS

Are you clean or messy: If you pay enough attention, you’ll notice there’s a cleanliness to my mess lmao

Favourite foreign food: I loooove pizza, sushi, and there are these two Korean meals called jjajangmyeon and tteokbokki that I just 🥰

How long does take for you to get ready: Tbh, it depends on the day. Sometimes I can get ready in half an hour, other’s it’ll take me two. What’s time, anyway?

Most used phrase: I tend to use the “STOP” and “PLEASE” a lot, but without context they’ve got no real meaning. Not that they’re a phrase, but..............

Are you a good singer: I can only wish

Do you sing to yourself: Yes! Not always, but it does happen.

Biggest fear: Not knowing what’s gonna happen to my loved ones once I pass away... Wait. Was it too dark? It was, wasn’t it? I guess I’d say fire, then. Prefer not to be close to it, thanks.

Do you like long or short hair: For myself, long. Tried to deal with short hair once and, nO. A BIG MESS. For the rest of the world, suit yourselves, guys!

Are you into gossip: I mean, aren’t you?

Extrovert or introvert: Actually I’m neither! I’m an ambivert, which is... interesting, I guess. Story time! Since I was a kid, I was always stuck in the middle, bc I fit in both depending on the situation, the people, the context, conditions, etc. I got my confirmation in high school. We were having this personality test kind of class in vocal orientation to see whether we were introverts or extroverts, and in what kind of profession we'd fit more. I came 50/50. The professor, who was also a psychiatrist, made me take a lot of tests, even those in online-completely-not-professional sites, and the results were always the same. So the conclusion was, "Hey, Nic, you're an ambivert. Congrats!" And that was that! 😂

Favourite school subject: Anything that was language-related. I love languages! 

What makes you nervous: Er... many things. One of those could be when I was in school and the teachers started asking questions at random, bc what if they ask me and I don’t know the answer? A nightmare.

Who was your first real crush: There was this boy that went to kindergarten with me who was my very first little boyfriend lmaooo and technically, we never broke up! I just remember that we were A Thing, then summer came, and when we went back, he was gone. I just find it sad that his parents changed him schools and I never got to say goodbye. Anyway, shout out to Paulo Cesar! Hope you’re okay, wherever you are! 🤪

How many piercings do you have: Three!

How fast can you run: I avoid ruining. At all costs.

What makes you angry: Whenever people are rude for no reason. Like, it doesn’t cost a cent to be polite??? I’m sorry if you’re having a bad day, but it’s not my fault, you know?

Do you like your own name: I didn’t at first, and I used to change it. Now I’m okay with it.

What are your weaknesses: Why does this feel like a job interview? Akajskjas anyway, I tend to procrastinate a lot. Also, I’m a perfectionist to a point where I get frustrated pretty often if things don’t go as I would’ve liked to. Not my best moments, I’d dare say. 🙃

What are your strengths: Saw last point? Well. I do procrastinate, but once I get to work, I don’t stop until I finish. We could say I’m quite dedicated. And I learn fast, too! (Really, is this a job interiew?)

What is the colour of your bedspreads: Gray

What is the colour of your rooms walls: Lilac

DONE!! If you actually read all this, you’ve got my entire respect and you own my heart. Thank you so much for dealing with my stuff hahaha 🥺

I’m gonna tag @larrysballetslippers, @holyshit, @skyfulloflarry, @riddleandpottersittinginatree, @chaleshezza, @jostens-pitchtwo, and whoever else wants to do this. BYE. 💛

[silentauroriamthereal]

Five favourites

So, @totallysilvergirl and @anindoorkitty and at least one other lovely person (I’m so sorry that I’ve forgotten who you were!!!) tagged me in a thing that I wasn’t going to do it, because picking only FIVE favourites out of EIGHTY-SIX fics feels like an unusually cruel task to set before me, but I’m caving to the pressure. I thought about rebelling and doing ten, because I do have a significant output here (just tipped 2.3 million words!!)... but then it gets even harder to choose! This was still just so, so hard. If someone asked me “if I could only read five of your stories ever, which five would you prefer that to be?”, I GUESS I would give them these ones. And yes, I can count. It’s six. Deal with it. 

Against the Rest of the World. I mean, you knew this would be on here. It’s my longest story (in this fandom, at least), clocking in just below 152,000 words. It took me four solid months of working on it daily to write. It’s in first person voice, which is something I’ve almost never done for any other character apart from Sherlock, but writing it that way made it feel like I was living directly inside his head for those months. I missed him when the story was over. It’s the fic upon which my unpublished novel is based. It took me more location research than anything else I’ve ever written. Every single place in there, be it a street, restaurant, hotel, store, etc, is a real place. Much of this story was set in countries that has not (yet?) permitted google maps access. That added to the challenge for sure. It’s not perfect and may well not be my best writing ever, but this thing was a beast to write! I was updating with new chapters on average every six days. I never want to live like that again, which is why I never post unfinished WIPs anymore - I can’t handle the pressure! I might post it in chunks, but it’s always finished first. 

Bridging the Ravine. I just found this universe so much fun to live in! It has a record number of named OCs (over 20, I believe!), some of whom are fully-fledged people who come back in the sequel, etc, plus the luxurious atmosphere of the spa-like retreat centre, the added bonus of getting to write Sherlock and John some much-needed therapy following series 4, the need to pose as a couple for the case anyway (fun fact: this was my first time ever knowingly writing a known trope!), the unabashed romance of it... yeah. It was fun. :) 

The Wisteria Tree. For sheer emotional impact alone, I think this is some of my best writing. Multiple readers have told me that they cried throughout. I hadn’t even known that “amnesia fic” was a Thing was out there, in my sheltered little life over here! The concept of this story is that Sherlock suffers memory loss spanning over five years and wakes up from a coma to discover that, in that time, he and John got married. His furious attempt to retroactively catch up to the person he had become is both painful and, I hope, romantic as John struggles with having lost what they had, too. But they find their way. 

Scars. If you want to see how dark my writing can go, look no further. There’s a scene in this story I finished writing, stood up even as I was closing my laptop, put on shoes and walked out of my apartment. I just had to get physically away from the fic. I did a heap of research on this one, too, specifically following the questions of: was Mary’s behaviour toward John in series 3 (this was written before series 4 aired) gaslighting and emotionally abusive? And if it was, how does that behaviour typically play out in female->male spousal abuse situations? I talked to three different therapists, only one of whom had seen Sherlock. I showed the other two the opening scene between John and Mary in HLV and without hesitation, they both agreed that it was absolutely textbook gaslighting. I asked all three of them how, if left unchecked, abusive relationships of that nature typically progress. This story goes there, and it’s ugly. It gets to a good place by the end, but there’s a journey you have to endure first. I’m proud of this one notwithstanding, particularly of a scene in chapter 5 (where Sherlock finds out the full extent of what happened). But omg, read the warnings first if you haven’t read this one and are thinking of trying it!! 

Vena Cava. I have written so very many series 3 fix-its. I love all of them for their own reasons, but if you put a gun to my head and made me choose my favourite of them, it would still be this one. The dual hurt-comfort structure (Sherlock is suffering physically from Mary’s shot; John is suffering emotionally from it), the fact that it’s all set within HLV, and the bathroom kiss scene just put it up there for me. 

The White Lotuses. A classic example of a SilentAuror domestic comfort fic! So much good food in this story, plus a delightful (I hope!) slow burn. A go-to for a bad day that needs salvaging. :) 

Honestly, ask me again on a different day and I’ll give you five (or six!) totally different stories. This is too hard!! Seriously, so mean. Lol. 

[kittybellestark]

Hi guys I’m nearly at 100 followers so I think it’s time we discuss something important. I know I’ll probably lose followers for posting this but I think it needs to be said. I’m not going to add any tags and I don’t want any of y’all to get the wrong idea here, okay? So please read this through. I’m not trying to hurt anyone or come after them. I just want to give my personal opinion on this topic because as much as love the Irondad fandom and all the work here, there is a lot of drama too.

So let’s talk about Starker for a second.

First things first. I do not ship starker.

Obviously our fandom is most based on mcu canon. Where Peter is a minor throughout the universe and still is. I know that he is technically 21 in ffh and endgame, but we know because of ffh, that those who were snapped are still considered minors. (Flash ordering alcohol on the plane and them not serving him when it became known he was snapped)

For those who aren’t mcu but comic shippers, while I’m not certain on all the universes, I know there are a few where Peter is a full grown adult, so maybe he met Tony as an adult too. I’m not sure. Obviously that is a different story then mcu, so I’m not going to touch on that.

I personally do not ship the idea of Peter and Tony being together romantically or sexually. I don’t want them together or hope for them being together. I don’t think they’d be good together either.

But on that note, not everyone who writes or reads starker fanfic ships them. They are aware that it is wrong. Dark fics exist, non-con fics exist. For those who have followed me and read my work they know I canon that Skip sexually abused Peter at some point. There’s a rape scene in Peter Parker Went Silent, Straightening Things Out’s plot revolves around this unhealthy non-consensual relationship that Peter doesn’t feel he can escape because Skip is in a relationship with May. I don’t ship Peter/Skip but I use it to work through trauma and to create stories that others will read.

There are also so many people who are anti-starker but will also ship spideypool. Again another minor/adult situation. I know it’s canon established that Peter and Tony have a father-son relationship as it’s been confirmed multiple times over by RDJ and Tom Holland. But guys. Spideypool. In the MCU (as he is to be introduced soon, Ryan Reynolds is on the cast list for Dr Strange) DeadPool is an adult.

Again though, if you’re shipping based on comics where they are introduced as adults it’s a different story.

But to get back to my point, as writers we use these characters to project sometimes. I’ve projected on Peter in nearly all the fics and headcanons I’ve written. I’ve read dark fics too. At the end of the day it’s all art. People still read Lolita and the Handmaids Tale and all these other actual published works of fiction that have these terrible no good, should never be shipped relationships.

As a writer I use Peter to explore myself. He is based off what I am feel at any given time. While most of the things that I write about Peter don’t actually happen to me in real life, I use those situations I’ve written to deal with what has happened to me.

So maybe the people who write and read starker are also working through things. Maybe as a minor they were in an unhealthy relationship with an adult who should have known better. And maybe they see Peter and think ‘this character is relatable to him and I am processing things so this is what I will write about.’

The beauty of this app is we don’t know the people behind the screen.

I don’t ship Starker. I will never write starker. I don’t read Starker. Because I use mcu Peter and Tony and it makes me uncomfy.

We don’t know these other people. We cannot judge them. And we should never ever be rude and use words that can harm someone else, especially when we don’t know. We will never know what the writer is going through so we shouldn’t judge them.

If people actually, genuinely want Peter and Tony in and actual sexual and romantic relationship, that bothers me. But people who are writing things just to write and expand their abilities as a writer, or someone reading something because it shows up on their feed? I’m not going to attack them for it.

I don’t like Starker. I don’t ship it. People who do genuinely want them together sets off a red flag for me, especially when it’s mcu. To me it’s like wanting Lolita and Frank La Salle. Or June and Fred.

But guys. Not once have I ever been attacked for writing about Peter being assaulted by Skip. No one has sent me hate messages or wished the worst on me for writing Straightening Things Out, where Peter literally thinks Skip is helping him and doing the right thing. Not once have I felt unwelcomed to this fandom because I use Skip where another writer might use Tony instead.

So please, please do not wish harm on others. You can have your opinions. That is okay. We all have them. But don’t jump to conclusions that you don’t have any information of other than a tag. People pay and consume dark media, here people don’t pay and consume or write dark media.

I know it’s easy because you can’t see the other person. But please think before you post because sometimes ya’ll are saying things that are uncalled for.

I’m not condoning minor/adult relationships in real life. That is pedophilia and if you are a minor please know that adult who is telling you how mature you are and how much they love spending time with you and wants to be in a relationship doesn’t have your best interests at heart. No adult should ever call you hot or be turned on by you. A 22 year old should never be attracted to a 14 year old or 17 year old. That relationship is not consensual and please please please find an adult who can get you out of an unsafe relationship. And also a 14 year old and a 16 or 17 year old in a relationship genuinely a problem. Adults know relationships with minors are wrong. Even large age gaps in relationships can be extremely unhealthy

Leonardo DiCaprio never dating anyone over the age of 25, and knowing his last girlfriend since she was a minor for example. That is obviously very unhealthy pedophilic and of course grooming. Hugh Hefner having wives that are so much younger than him too. That’s not healthy, it’s scary.

But for those of you who have been in those situations as I know way too many people who when we were in highschool were in relationships with adults, you are allowed to write about it with any character you want, however you want. If you’re a person who hasn’t ever been in a relationship like that but wanting to expand on things you write and learn new skills to see if you can properly convey what is happening in a relationship such as Peter/Tony, you can do that too.

Wanting Peter and Tony together is the red flag, writing Peter and Tony together because you’re a writer and it’s hard to write a relationship where it’s obviously not healthy and Peter doesnt see the problem with it? That’s just writing. There’s trigger warnings and tags.

But let’s also be aware for those of us who canon Peter being Bi, there is also a pretty good chance that Tony Stark™️ was Peter’s sexual awakening. Like before he ever met Tony. I was 12 and in love with older male celebrities, it’s just a reality and maybe this was something that happening with Peter, it’s fiction who knows.

And on an unrelated thought if this irondad thing was real life we wouldn’t be romanticizing it. If this was Elon Musk who took on a personal intern, despite not being known for that, the intern is a child still in highschool, gets picked up from school by Elon to go to Tesla 3 days a week and then sleeps over at his house on weekends we would all be scarred. We would either think oh this child is Elon’s family, or we would think omg Elon is a sexual predator. Irondad is a weird thing for us to like. It is. We wouldn’t like it very much in real life. That’s a fact. But we are projecting. As writers and readers it’s what we do.

At the end of the day this is fiction and fan fiction. I’m not going to attack someone for liking something I don’t. I’m a full grown adult it makes my adult brain feel weird about the whole situation. That’s me. When I was in highschool I read adult/minor relationships even though I knew they were wrong and unhealthy because that’s what would show up on my dash. If any of my followers read/write starker it’s their business not my own, they like what they like and I like what I like. We interpret things differently and that’s okay.

Please stop attacking people, especially when you don’t have the full story. And also someone expressing their dislike to a ship isn’t an attack on those who do ship the relationship. So take a moment and breathe and think before posting anything.

To reiterate: this is just my opinion on things. Ships are complicated. I’m not trying to attack anyone or saying all people who write/read starker are doing it because they have trauma, there are many different reasons why a person may do so. There are also many different reasons why someone might ship starker. I don’t know these reasons but I don’t agree with the ship and that’s my own business. As a person who doesn’t ship starker I will never know some of these reasons and that’s okay. Just because I see shipping starker as a red flag doesn’t mean it is for everyone. Treat People With Kindness and please don’t attack or do anything that can be harmful just because someone’s views does not align with yours.

[closetedotaku01]

i rlly hope youll keep writing after Kinktober, bc as a writer myself i see so much potential in your writing. it's already great, but it really reminds me of my own writing from a year or two back. i was the one who asked how long you've been writing & i've been writing fanfic for 7 years so its cool to see how good you already are. youre going to improve so much over time & i'm really excited to see it, you do so many things in your stories well & theyre only going to get better! (1/2)

THIS GOT SO LONG IM SORRY!!!

This.... I—. WARMED MY HEART!! Pick a name or emoji or whatever you want and you are an official anon!! Also this got long so.. READ MORE IF YA WANNA!!

Thank you so much for saying you see potential. Sometimes I’m really.... unhappy with my work and feel like I can’t improve and this just... MADE ME SO HAPPY!! Like... hearing it from someone who does write💜💜💜💜💜 makes my whole life.

I’m so excited to keep growing and I hope you stay for the journey because this is so sweet. Maybe casually come off anon way down the road (so I can’t guess) just so I can read some of your work too 👉👈. And no worries there will be more after Kinktober. I am really enjoying this and have no plans to stop writing any time soon.

~~~~

Okay so my favorite published authors are Jandy Nelson (I’ll Give You The Sun is a book I reread constantly. It’s my comfort book. I swear if my soul was anywhere besides my body, there’s a piece of it trapped in that book.), Fredrick Backman (specifically And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer), Brigid Kemmerer (literally all of the books she’s published with Bloomsbury I’ve read and adored), and Neal Schusterman (Specifically the Arc of a Scythe Trilogy). They all write in ways that affect me deeply and they mean a lot to me. I don’t necessarily try to emulate them, but they definitely are the authors I consult (by reading and rereading their works) to get ideas and to learn how to write.

~~~~

Fanfic authors. I think I’ve made it pretty damn clear on here that I am hopelessly in love with @imaginethathaikyuu (I’m still too scared to tag her I’m sorry) and her writing. She means the whole world to me in every way. Her writing always hits me in a MAGICAL way. Especially her newer pieces. Works of hers that hit hard for me are: (please note this list is not comprehensive. These are just the FIRST ONES that came to mind. All her work is objectively great.) 

-Tsukishima accidentally teases his s/o’s insecurity - this one holds my heart.

-Heated argument with Tsukishima - this is the angst I adore. Honestly, this might be one of my TOP TOP favorites, because it feels so real. 

-Morning sex with Tsukishima -just the line “theyre your tits!” That’s all. Brings me serotonin beyond words. And it feels so genuine and lovely. Again... she makes the world so real. Also in my TOP TOP favs. (Is my Tsukki love showing too much?)

-Helping you when you can’t sleep - This is beyond words beautiful

-Helping you study - PLEASE I NEED THIS NOW

-Tanaka finding out his s/o is pregnant - YES! SHE DOES TANAKA SO WELL

-Tanka asks Kiyoko to dance.... but she says no - SO WELL 

-Riding Headcanons -🙈

-S/O is nervous about him going down on her  -because who ISNT the first time?

-Learning about your self-harm scars -hits close to home and Iwa’s makes me cry every time.

-Akaashi making it up to you after a fight -my favorite color is literally purple 💜

-Bokuto’s s/o has a nightmare - I literally revisit this one whenever I have a nightmare

- Kinktober 2019 - ALL .... but the ones I revisit the most are Tsukishima’s, Oikawa’s, Futakuchi’s, Yaku’s, Iwa’s, Yamaguchi’s, and Matsukawa’s.

-Kinktober 2020 - please GOD read Kuroo’s, Mattsun’s, Iwa’s, Suna’s, and Atsumu’s. They’re all immaculate but those in PARTICULAR were MASTERPIECES.

-Having an angsty fight - particularly Kuroo’s GETS TO ME. Like... damn. Makes me... melt. Idek why. It’s just, again, how real she makes it feel. From the atmosphere and setting to the way the characters behave. A lot of times in “argument angst” (is that a term?) the arguments feel so shallow and stupid. And I’m like “on my moodiest days I wouldn’t react like that” or “Kuroo WOULD NEVER”. But these feel so real. Ughhhh.

-You give Kenma a gift mid-stream 

-Kenma gets turned on during a stream - can you tell I love the way she writes streamer Kenma 😌 also this is my fav nsfw-esque Kenma piece solely because it feels accurate to his character in a beautiful way despite me headcanoning that he’s ace.

-Oikawa’s s/o wakes up without him there

-Iwaizumi getting.... caught.... by Makki and Mattsun... with you  -Give Iwa More Love 2020

-Tendo teasing his s/o by ... taking care of himself - One of the first Em pieces I ever read. I don’t think it was THE first. But it was definitely the first one I read like... RIGHT AFTER she posted it.

-Tendo comforting s/o who’s parents yell - hits very close to home for me, and I just wanted him to come whisk me away the first time I read this

-7MIH with Tendo  -hehe I love this more than anything. Also Ushijima’s ONE line makes me CACKLE. I’m in love with this one

-This two part series with Atsumu (1) (2) -haha I reread these too often

-Kneel to Pray  (Sakusa) -I have not even one criticism or negative thought. Not one. And I’ve read this TOO many times.

-Tough boys are soft for you - two of the best boys

- Countdown to Christmas - Days 6,7,11, and 12 are the ones I reread the most

THIS IS SO BAD!! I WENT STRAIGHT TO THESE AND DIDN’T THINK IT WAS THAT MANY COS I REREAD THESE ONES REGULARLY. (And there’s a lot more theatre good. Please explore her blog! It’s WONDERFUL) Sorry for spending too much time on Em’s blog, but also.... not sorry cos she’s amazing and all of these pieces inspire me.  I’ll try to be fast for the rest of these ahfihfadsfsjfh.

 @star-puff (catch a theme of me being scared of talented authors)’s piece La Lune and her Fleur d’Amour event (search #fleur d’amour on her blog) are so creative and beautiful and truly show how talented she is. She’s amazing. EDIT: I’m adding this as soon as I’ve read it because it just made me cry. Omg. Read this. Tsukishima royalty AU it is angst though so 👀 read at your own risk. EDIT: On GOD Meg could murder me and I’d say thanks. Please read this beautiful time stamp shit it makes me HAPPY. 

UPDATE: And Meg is now responsible for the most canon Tsukki piece I’ve ever read. 

There’s a cute SMAU called Sunshine by @pudding-head-kenma and idk how she does it. It’s so good. I could never tell a story this complex, THIS WELL, using only text messages and tweets and such. She also does mini headcanons that are REALLY cute.

Anything and everything by @haik-choo is gold. Literal gold. The way she writes Tsukishima is IMMACULATE. Toxic headcanons, mischaracterizations all of its gold. And she’s a beautiful shitposter. She drops shit that makes me CACKLE at the most random times. All of it is a big yes for me.

UPDATE: this is gold.

Of course I’ve read In Another Life and OF COURSE I sobbed. Took me AN HOUR to read because I kept having to take breaks to just.... sob. VERY MUCH A HEAVY DUTY ANGST. Not for the weak of heart. BokuAka. This is probably the oldest piece I’ve read that still HITS for me. 

There are other pieces but I can’t remember them.... probably will come back and add to this post later.

Thank you for this ask. Thank you for being so kind and inspiring. I was kinda worried about releasing anything I’ve ever written and still get nervous sometimes so this ask makes me feel a hell of a lot better and makes me feel like I’m joining a WONDERFUL community like... Look at all that talent ^^^^.

[futurewriter2000]

Secrets and lies ~ Part 4

A/N:  OMG YAS I love this part and I love next part even though I still haven’t written it yet but I just love it. You guys will hate me so much but I love you. 

TAGS: @huflerin , @shadyladyperfection , @geeksareunique , @nadinissavage , @paigeyisme , @mrsdaamneron

Other parts ---> MASTERLIST

¥￦¥  ~ means the reader is dreaming

Xx

¥￦¥

“I would choose you in a heartbeat.” he blurted out and walked around the desk to you. “You are my baby sister. My everything. The one who knows all my secrets and shares all my memories with. ”

“Remus…”

“I can’t… You need to break it off with him.”

You stood from your desk in a light second, throwing his hands away and pushing the chair so fiercly it almost flew on the other side of the library. “WHAT!?!” you boiled in anger as you saw his face.

His eyes avoided your gaze as he clasped his hands together. “I’m trying to protect you.” he spoke quietly and calming.

“Well stop it! I’ve done nothing than be a good sister to you. I haven’t done anything to embaress you, I took care of you John when you couldn’t! I loved you when you didn’t even love yourself and I still do!” you shouted through the whole library.

“Damn it Lu! Stop it! Stop rebelling and stop calling me John! it’s Remus! REMUS!”

“Well my name is not Lu! It’s (y/n)! (Y/N)!” you mocked him and leaned on the table.

He was standing up by now. His eyes glaring at yours as his frown growing angrier than ever. “Break.it.off.” he growled and leaned even closer. “If not, I’m telling him about Regulus.”

¥￦¥

It kept repeating. The whole scene kept repeating. You had no clue why but one of your worst memories was repeating itself.

Your brother betraying you. Over and over again.

That memory.

But somehow, even though the dreams kept repeating, you still felt his touch on your hand, hearing the same words leaving his soft yet broken voice. "Please wake up, Lu. Wake up for me." 

'I want to Johnny. I want to wake up for you. So bad! I need to wake up! I need to wake up!' you tried to speak but it was only the voice in your head trying to reach out.

You couldn't move nor speak, only listen.

"Remus. Why don't you go get a shower and some rest. I'll stay up with her." Lilly's voice came from afar. Her just as soft and broken as his.

"No." he spoke determined, squeezing your hand even tighter. "She didn't tell me. She should have told me. She- she... Why didn't she tell me?" he sobbed, not knowing if he was sad or mad or just desperate. Maybe all three of those things but there was a chance he felt just as betrayed as you.

"She wanted to. She just saw that you were finally happy." Lilly simpered and squeezed Remus' shoulder.

'Yes, Lilly tell him it's not his fault. Tell him I wanted to tell him so bad it was just never the right time. Tell him I didn't want to burden him.' your voice spoke once again.

"It's not your fault, Remus." she spoke quetly, like she was hearing what you wanted to say. "It's mine."

'Oh for God's sake!' 

"No. Something was wrong. Something was wrong with my little sister and I was so busy with my friends and with her not being with Sirius, I completly ignored her. She's sick and she couldn't even tell me. It's my fault. Mine. I wasn't too good of a brother." said Remus, still holding your hand and watching you as you laid on the bed, so peacefully. "Look at her. It's like the first day when she came home to me. So peacful. Quiet." he simpered. "Really miss her like that. I know it's only been three days but what I would do to hear that annoying and obnoxios voice of hers."

'Um, excuse me! I am not obnoxios or annoying!'

"You know what she would say right now. 'Excuse me! I am not obnoxious or annoying!'" said Lilly, trying to impersonate you as best as she could.

' If you must know. You forgot the 'um' '

"Yeah but you forgot the 'um'. She would say. 'um, excuse me!'" mocked Remus and chuckled with Lilly as both of them started impersonating you.

'You better wish I don't wake up. Best friends my arse...'

"She would probably kick our arses if she heard us." chuckled Lilly and touched your shoulder.

'Oh...don't you dare touch me you traitor. '

"You know I told her many times to tell you. She just never listened. " she said and let go of you.

"Stubborn. Just like our mom." replied Remus.

"You know, the day we met was the weirdest day in my life. " chuckled Lilly and pulled herself a chair to sit next to your brother. "It was on Hogwarts Express and I was just storming back to my compartment with Severus when I entered the wrong one, seeing her curled up in a corner, watching me with those terrified big (y/e/c) eyes. I asked her what was wrong and she said she is mad at her brother so she's hiding from him because he's too overprotective of her."

'I remember that day. And she..'

"...plopped down next to her, sighing I totally understand her because I was hiding from a boy also. So the whole ride there we were just sitting there. For the first hour there was only silence but the next few hours we talked and laughed and it ended up being one of the best days ever. That was until you stormed in and started chasing her."

'And then he..'

"...turned her hair bright blue so I don't lose her again. Yes, I remember that day too." he continued the story, glancing at Lilly and back at you. " Yeah, I know. I was an awful brother."

'Well, that's completly not true. You are still an awful brother.'

"But she loves me for being like that." grinned Remus and turned to Lilly.

'Yeah right!'

"Yeah right! Remus she despises you for that!" scoffed Lilly.

"No she doesn't. She just acts like she does but she secretly loves it." grinned Remus and nudged Lilly in the shoulder.

'Sometimes that's true. Most times it's not.'

"Perhaps." said Lilly and took Remus' hands, her expression completly serious. "Remus, you know you can't protect her forever. She is going to be 17 soon. She is old enough to make her own decisions, mistakes even. Let her experiance it."

'Oh Lills...'

"I know. I just can't seem to let her go, because when I do...." he paused for a moment and looked up at Lilly with a few tears in his eyes. "....because when I do this happens. When I was sick she always took care of me. She brought me creams and some herbal stuff for my scars. I really don't know what she gave me but after she took care of my scars, she brought me a whole package of chocolate and candy." he laughed and tears seemed to fall even harder. "She was 6 at the time. Six years old." he cried and let his head fall on Lilly's chest. "She took care of me when she was six years old and I can't even figure out when she is sick! I am such a horrible brother. Such a horrible horrible brother!"

'No Remus you are not! Remus you are not a horrible brother!' you tried to yell but the voice only echoed in your head. Merlin, you felt rage fill your body and tears burst on the surface . ' Damn this bloody coma! Wake up! WAKE UP!' you tried to scream, trying to overhear yourself over Remus' cries.

'It's not your fault Remus. Please... Please, stop crying.'

¥￦¥

"Lu! Oh my baby Lu! My darling baby Lu! My gorgeous darling baby LuLu!" teased Regulus and started laughing, holding on to his stomach and pointing his finger at you.

"You are the worst!" you tried to hold back your laugh, but were unfortunately unsuccessful. "I hate you!" you contined to laugh.

"Than why are you laughing!" he continued, holding his stomach and trying to climb on his bed.

"Come on Reg. He's my older brother. It's what they do."

"I know (y/n). It just sounds so funny and how come you never argue about it. I mean whenever anybody else calls you Lu, you freak out."

"Because Remus is the only one who can call me that. Maybe after years of him calling me that, it wouldn't be normal if he called me by my real name." you explained and sat down next to him.

"Perhaps you're right. I mean me and Sirius... I couldn't imagine my life without him. Without my older brother watching over me like an angel on my shoulder." he giggled and layed down on the bed.

"Angel?" you scoffed and layed right next to him. "More like the devil on your shoulder."

"Maybe now. He's only 14. He'll mature. I believe its just a phaze."

"Then how come you already matured?"

"Because I am an old soul in a young man's body. " he joked, earning a light punch in the shoudler from you.

"Yes, and if your brother will mature than my brother will stop acting like a total prick. Everything is possible if you only dream." you sighed and rolled over to Regulus. Placing your head on his chest, you wrapped your arm around his torso meanwhile his hand made its way to your hair and his fingers slowly ran through it.

"Hey (y/n)?" he spoke softly, his eyes set on the ceiling.

"Yes, Regulus." you giggled, nuzzling even closer.

"I love you."

As soon as you heard those words come from his mouth you shot your head up, his smile still not fading away as yours did. "You what?" you asked shockingly, eyes wide and jaw dropped.

"I love you." he smiled and took a hold of your hand. "I love you, (y/n) and .... "

￦¥￦

"... And I should have said that before. I have always loved you. " spoke the voice, waking you up from your dream as his lips softly touched your hand.

'Regulus?' you puzzled for a moment thinking was it his voice you were hearing or Sirius'?

"Please wake up. I can't bare another day without you. Without your smile and your annoying laugh. Without your charming eyes and snarky comments. Please, come back."

'Sirius.' you thoughts wandered as the voice became clearer.

"It's me. Sirius. And I'm only telling you this because I hope you will wake up. I want you to wake up." he persisted.

'No shit Sherlock and I sure want to be stuck on this bed.'

"I miss you. I hope you know that." he said and squeezed your hand even tighter.

'I miss you too, Sirius.'

His hand slowly let go of yours, only fingertips touching. "I love you. I hope you know that too." he said before you heard the door close behind him.

'He loves me?'

Laying in bed for 4 days straight now was uncomfortable as hell. Your legs were completly sore as your whole body was. Everything hurt, everything was so uncomfortable.

The loneliness was worse. You hated being alone in the hospital room. The only people who visited were your friends and Remus. But as your family did visit all they did was cry so you’d rather wish they didn't come. It's not like you're dead. You're just in a coma. No biggie. Right?

You heard a long crack come from the door. It cracked like this everytime somebody slowly entered the room. You noticed this by now because the nurses kept bursting in and the crack wasn't heard, but when somebody slowly opened the door the crack was heard quite clearly through the silence.

So did the steps. Gentle steps, wood cracking as it bent. And you knew who it was. Just by his steps, you knew who it was.

What did you feel? Why were you so damn excited he was here. So remusexcited you could basicly fly and jump in his arms.

"Hey there Queenie." he chuckled and pulled out a chair.

'Regulus.'

See that’s what you do when you ask for part 2 in the first place. You get this. Hope you liked this part, the next one will be shown from Lilly’s,  Remus' , Sirius' and Regulus' perspective so can't wait.

[flrtwoo]

get to know me !!!

tagged by: @jeongjaebae AAAHH thank u so much for the tag 🥺 it was so fun reading urs and BTW i hope ur okay from ur scar story 😭

tagging: u who's reading this :p (why am i so shy to tag ppl AHHAHAHA I WILL GET THE COURAGE ONE DAY FUK)

what is your birthday?

i'm a scorpio !!!! october teehee but definitely do not fit the scorpio stereotype HAHAHAHA

what is your favorite color?

yellow <3

what's your lucky number?

i don't have one :<<

do you have any pets?

nope but I WANT A DOG >:(( i love dogs but my mom is allergic <///3

how tall are you?

..... 4'11 .....

how many pairs of shoes do you own?

uhhhh idk 5 or 6 ??

favorite song?

i have TOO MANY rn but if i had to name one, probably i went out by kyle lux !! IT'S SUCH A FUN & GROOVY SONG please give it a listen i swear it's so GOOD !! as for kpop i don't have one specific song in mind, i just listen to my kpop playlist on repeat LMFAO

favorite movie?

tbh idt i have one ??? but i did watch this movie recently called "knives out" it's really interesting n cool !!! i love pretty woman too omg ONE OF MY FAVES

what would be your ideal partner?

my biases ahahahahhaha jk 1/2 :"D

someone funny, respectful, and empathetic !!! i love it when someone can make me and my friends laugh, someone who knows their boundaries, and someone who'll take care of me when i'm a mess :>

do you want children?

yezzzzirrrr

have you gotten in trouble with the law?

no and hopefully never ? :"D

what color socks are you wearing?

my feet r naked atm B)

bath or shower?

showers >>>

favorite type of music?

as of the past few months, i love groovy music !!! it's just so fun to vibe to hihi

how many pillows do you sleep with?

2 pillows and 1 stuffed toy ><

which position do you sleep in?

on my side

what you don't like when you're sleeping?

i don't like it when i want to sleep but i just CAN'T it's so frustrating :(((

what do you have for breakfast?

peanut butter on bread :D

have you ever tried archery?

nawp but it looks cool !!!

favorite fruit?

i don't each much fruit but probably mangoes hehe

favorite swear word?

fuck or if a swear word in filipino, then gago HAHAHAHAH

do you have any scars?

i have one on my knee and one under my chin !!! both scars were caused because i could not see shit and i was being stupid LOL

are you a good liar?

i'd like to think i am when the situation calls for it?

what's your personality type?

esfp !!!! fun fact: my parents and i have the same mbti LMAO

what's your favorite type of girl?

as long she isn't toxic af 😃

innie or outie?

innie

left or right handed?

right handed !!

favorite food?

too many . BUT fine if i were to choose rn, i'm craving ice cream, steak, or flavored french fries (POTATO CORNER <//3)

are you clean or messy?

DEPENDS i like to be clean/organized most of the time but sometimes i just don't give a shit and i end up leaving my room (and myself) looking like a mess

favorite foreign food?

japanese or italian food omg

how long does it take for you to get ready?

15 minutes if i don't shower, 30-40 if i do AHAHHAHA

most used phrase?

"omg" or "WTF"

are you a good singer?

i think i am ?? idk HAHAHHA

do you sing yourself?

i used to take singing lessons when i was younger and was even part of my school's chorale for a year or two !!! now i just idk casually sing wherever i go HAHAHAHA it's become natural

biggest fear?

being alone/ignored when i need people the most ig ??

do you like long or short hair?

uhhh how about mid-length hair? HAHAHAHA

are you into gossips?

..... most of the time HDSJDSJDJ I KNOW IT'S BAD but sometimes it gets juicy ok 😔

extrovert or introvert?

extrovert afff but i'm not the super duper duper friendly kind that i can say hi to u first in a party u feel HAHAHAHA but yes generally super extroverted

favorite school subject?

i'm not so familiar w my subjects this year since we just started, but last year it was organization & management and business math !!! (bmath was like hella easy HAHAHA)

what makes you nervous?

many things AHAHHAHAHA HARD TO SAY

who was your first real crush?

i guess REAL real crush like kinda in10se was grade 6 i think ?? we were in the community together HAHAHHA i don't like him like that now tho ,,, and we're really good friends rn so yay !!

how many piercings do you have?

2 !! one on each ear :>

how fast can you run?

idk tbh not that fast HAHAHAHHAHA

what color is your hair?

black !!! i dyed it black over the summer but before that it was a lighter brown !! that was a dye job too HAHAHAHAH

what color are your eyes?

dark brown

what makes you angry?

when people don't commit, when they freeload, when they're toxic, MANY MANY THINGS IN LIFE </3

do you like your own name?

ig ??? i can't imagine my name being anything else HAHAHA

do you want a boy or a girl as a child?

any ig !!

what are your weaknesses?

sometimes my body goes emotions over common sense so lyk ,,,,,,,

what are your strengths?

i'm usually pretty positive and i'm empathetic !!! also protective over the people i love :<

what is the color of your bedspread?

purple

color of your room?

pink HAHAHA i would repaint but i like the life it brings to my room ^^

[motherofkittens94]

tagged by @greyjoysea and @staryjoy 

GOT PREFERENCES

Do you watch the episodes when they air? usually not being a brit who doesnt have hbo  i watch like a day or two later when it airs on sky Atlantic  or on now  tv the first three i watched on dvd from a friend who had the boxset it was when we were sharing a house walked in  the logue one  Morning and she watching it and its that bit where the mountain cuts off the horses head and im like what the hell are you watching ?? i just woke up i wasnt expecting violence this early in the morning ? and then sat down and watched it with her and im like and watched the whole rest of season   one and im like what the hell is this show  ??  ....is there more ?? btw my brother said he got half way through season one and said it  was boring im like season ones the best ?? and hes like oh i dont enjoy  historical drama im not interested in medieval history and im like face palm he thinks this is historical and he also doesnt like history wtf i mean  how am  i related to this fool but yeah thats tangent  and i told him get to ep nine so he could see ned stark beheading he said maybe but if i agreed to watch stranger things with him lol :/ 

How often do you rewatch it? Do you rewatch it from season one? ive re watched all the way  it through a few times but usually would only watch my fav episodes ive seen the red wedding so many times though because wed always watch it with some friend whos just getting into and hasnt seen that one yet so we can see their reaction 

Do you rewatch the previous episode before the next one airs? Not usually on each  occasion but my aunt and uncle always do so when i watch with them i do  

Do you eat anything while watching? if so, what do you eat? not usually a proper meal but  i might have snack like crisps or popcorn unless its a glory scene 

One character that everyone seems to like that you don’t care much for hmm cersei ?? and i didnt lime petyr baelish much but he seemed popular at least among my friends  but i do agree he shouldnt had a better death scene they took all the cleverness out of him and though i hadnt liked him it was a shame in a way like the couldnt find way him to go down in a clever interesyting way so they had to dumb him right down  book pb wouldnt get caught like that people like show euron apparently me  hmm not show much to put it nicely also ave mixed feelings about stannis book book and show wise and i like jon but hes not the ultimate  hyped favourite like he is with a lot of people and perfer theon to him tbh 

Your 3 favourite pairings Throbb theonsa jon ygritte jaime brienne thats four but theres two theons so 

Favourite scene: robb getting crowded any scene where theon smiles  theons monologue  theon and sansa hug jon and sansa arya sansa hug jon and ygritte kissing on the wall jaime jumping to save brienne theons speeches both tyrions speeches both but the one in season one was really funny tyrion dragging the chair across the room when everyone is is science idk that cracked  me up bronn duelling for tyrion the one where Catelyn announces to everyone that (she thinks)  tyrion tried to kill bran cause that was the first ep id seen thats the bit that got me hooked  theon getting back up and fighting that ironborn guy pdrick saving tyrion  and i still maintain that viserys had the best death also not to be a basic bitch but that first time dany does her fire thing in season one i was #stunned 

One character you wish got more appreciation: theon duh #nomoredickjokes2018 but also meera and jojen too i suppose  and shireen and sansa and they could've (shouldve) done more with myrcella and tommen   and brienne too was underused and gendry also idk if if i like the way the tried to iron the grey parts out of tyrion and jon  and bran i wish they done brans story better and wed have got that tree scene with theon also as a disabled gal  certain comments some people make about uselessness of bran sometimes make me uncomfy tbh 

Fanfic or nah? i usually only read theon based ones and thats usually just theon robb theon sansa or sometimes theon jeyne p cause i cant do bolton heavy stuff im a whimp  but i read the occasion jon / ygritte or jaime / brienne and once i tried theon jon  but i wasnt sold soz :/ i read theon ygritte once as well  that actualy worked surprising well and theon domeric .. aha  thats mine  and @blueagia s baby  

but i guess id be open to others maybe 

Favourite quote:  from just the show ?  meeras some people will always need help that doesnt mean theyre not worth helping  also tyrions death is so final but life is full of possibilities and   mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone if it is to keep its edge. That's why I read so much Jon Snow also sansas not a killer .. not yet anyway sansa - or maybe hell give me yours theons sy he is is theon greyjoy again also i like that quote about theons smile but obvi thats not in the show bronns this is bronn son of .. you wouldnt know him  just because it was funny 

Do you avoid spoilers? :  i do because im a blabber if i know id tell everyone omg this happens and that - i dont do on purpose really not with the intention of spoiling it for people  i just blurt it out like  i ruined he Rains of Castamere for someone once by saying oh is this one where robb dies ? and i didnt realise she hadnt seen it  yet and shes like robb dies :( :( and im  like oh umm i meant ...  rob - ert baratheon obviously ! haha whoops and i told someone else about jofferys death because shed said she seen it all  but she said later  i wish joffrey would die and  i was lil tipsey then so im like  .. but he does die ? youve seen it right? in season 4 ? hes poisoned ?  at his wedding ? to Margaery?? and shes like ....thanks beth ..... turns outs shed only  seen season 1-3 whoops again but hey i was drunk  that time so i  now avoid spoilers to avoid spoiling people and when i read the books my then housemates told me not to tell them what was different in case they wanted to read the books later on and didnt want me to spill and i did try to keep to it but i blabbed a few things tbh 

Favourite house words: We do not sow greyjoys ftw 

One character you’d bring back from the dead: ygritte shireen  robb maybe catelyn  and hoder !!

One character you’d kill, or kill sooner than they were killed balon greyjoy also ramsay but i wouldve done  it differently and theon shouldve been there or at least known about it also randyll tarly like fuck that guy ive seen people defending him and im like no offense but you are serious me and a friend had a bet on the boltons i bet against roose dying and he bet against ramsay dying we both lost lmao 

Direwolves or dragons? Dragons 

Which was more satisfying: Ramsay dying or Joffrey dying? hmm i actually joffrey probably because it was more unexpected i didnt see it coming i didnt think hed die  -i wanted ramsay to die and i wanted to like ramsay dying  and wished i had liked it more but it wasnt  done  the way i wanted it and it seemed so obvious like it wasnt a shock like joffrey dying was  i think in a way they over did ramster and just ran out f things fro him to do that he hadnt already like i was like hmm sewating nevously what can we do now ...err  kill your dad! kill a baby! kill  a stark  kill .. jon snow ...??  aye fuck it get rid of guy ay 

 i liked season six   better than season 7 or 5 but it made me lol in a way cause it seemed like they went ok ok you didnt like it last time when we killed all the women we heard you! we did ! weve changed things yes  so how about this instead ...   the woman kill everyone ! yea ? you like that ? we good now ?  sweet as ! put more women killing eveyone into season 7 dave we on the money 

Wildlings or the dothraki? Wildlings

Favourite lannister?  Tyrion but jaimes growing on me 

Favourite stark? i think sansa tbh 

Would you rather be able to be resurrected anytime, but gain scars and all like Beric, or become a faceless man? Resurrect any time like Beric

Would you rather have the rebellion tv show or the conquest tv show?  id pefer Rebellion but id watch a conquest show i think 

tagging @saltwaterwoods @whiteladyofrohann  @unamatta  @wedonnotcare @faller1344 @starkrysis @iladylittlefinger if you want to :) 

[raindrop-rouge]

How well do you know your best friend?

Original post here. Answer these questions about your bff, your tumblr bff, or just anyone you want to show a lot of appreciation on here to!!!!

I was tagged by @chiruchill and will answer the questions about her (and tagging her back!!!). Tagging @shulkie @milleandra-nebula @crying-abt-fictional-people , uh chiru also tagged @glassesgirl0401 and @gray-x-natsus-matching-hip-scars  but it didn’t seem to work? idk guys feel free to spread the love but also feel free to ignore!!! (I HIGHLY recommend getting the questions from the original post, I rambled for MILES in every single question you don’t wanna read the below trust me)

1. What is your best friend’s dream job, and why? Man, idk that you’ve ever blabbed about something specific, like I know you’d love to run a café with me, or a library with your mom, or any kind if small store like that... Obviously I know you were ready to invest a lot of time and effort into teaching too... Any job that would give you enough time and self management to allow you to spend time with your dogs really ahaha

2. What is their biggest pet peeve, and why do you think that is? The main one is people being 1)  messy and 2) loud. A few weeks ago I would have just said “well you’re considerate and wish they could be too”, but I said I’d be brutally honest about this and girl... I read something a little while ago and I am genuinely worried your hyperawareness of everyone around you stems from something more specific, but we can talk about it whenever

3. What is their favourite TV series (live action)? LMAO GO AWAY I GET THE MESSAGE I will watch Arrested Development asap

4. What is their favourite TV series (animated)? Ahaha you’ve recommended a lot of quality comedies to me over the years, do you have an ultimate fave though? I know there was that group of school girls comedy gdi I watched it but forget the name >< welp

5. What does your best friend value most in life, and why? (Do you think they value most what they say they do, or something else?) Holy shit ok this goes right back to a thing the guys were talking about earlier. I’m gonna say your dogs, like you do say you do :p If we’re talking values in people/ ways of life... What the guys brought up was that you say you only want a simple life with just what we need, but... well, I guess we all know none of us have ANY idea what a minimal life is like, so I’d say what you mean by that is, you do value the life standard we currently have, where we never have to worry about a solid roof over our heads, food, and enough money left to support your pets. So yeah, my answer is 1) your dogs, and 2) the kinda life where we can support them x)

6. How would you describe their style, and how would they describe it? Colorful (but that’s how us French see all Scandinavians tbh), comfortable, like effortless but still cute? You’d probably agree it’s colorful but then say it’s not “stylish” though XD I think you just really like cute things but muuuuch prefer comfort first

7. If you were to decorate a room for your best friend, what would it look like, and why? !!!!! Aaahhh I’m a shit decorator with no taste, but I’d keep it minimal cause that’s how you feel best! A massive bed for you and your dogs, maybe nice tall lights you can reach from the bed but light the room well... A bookshelf... A pretty big desk... I’d want to add lots of plants and pillows, but idk if you’d want that clutter :/ Colors would be white beige and either pastel green or pastel pink.

8. What do you think their best quality is? You know how during a mario kart race you can see the names shuffle on the side as players cut in front or fall behind, that’s what your qualities are doing in my head now... You’re patient, so strong and independent (which I admire endlessly), generous, smart, but I guess what really sets you apart from me is your specific sense of humor and just wit in general??? idk how to explain, it’s not just that you make me laugh, it’s everything you say, I know only you would come up with that at that moment. It’s a big part of what makes me so excited when I’m around you, and a big part of why I miss you so badly when I’m not.

9. What does your best friend think their best quality is? Would they agree with you? Yee you think you’re funny and you’re right :p  Unless now you think your patience is your top quality given how much you’ve put up with lately

10. What is your best friend’s favourite book (or book series)? The Hobbit

11. What do you have in common with your best friend? LMAO our shitty sense of humor... Omg what else though :o we’re really different... maybe how difficult we are when it comes to really letting people in? idk please answer this one better than me

12. How did you meet, and what was your first impression of your best friend? First day of uni!!!! I was lost and confused, she had papers and was alone and therefore less intimidating, I asked her where she got the documents from... And once I got them, I think sheeee was the one to offer we sit next to each other while I was munching on my apple ahaha. I missed the next meeting, but after that she saw me at the bus stop, and offered to wait for the bus with me??? Kindest thing anyone had ever done for me at that point in my life, so yeah... How far we’ve come :’) Very first impression though... “she looks reasonable enough to talk to... Oh she’s nice... Yay she’s really nice!!!” ahaha

13. What does your best friend spend their free time doing, and why do you think they choose to do what they do? Reading, petting the dogs, watching stuff, gaming... It’s escapism isn’t it babe :’) Anything that’s relaxing and distracts you from whatever is happening irl

14. Who is their favourite fictional character, and why? Luigi cause he wears green lmao and cause he’s like the “second” brother and therefore deserves more love

15. What’s the first thing you tell other people when you talk about your best friend? “So Chiru - she’s my best friend and you’ll be hearing about her every day -” ACTUAL LINE SERVED TO ALL MY CO-WORKERS. And then I tend to say we lived together for 2 years, and that I miss you a lot

16. What’s your favourite story about them? Is there a single fave...How we met, how we came to do our groceries together and suddenly became unseparable, MY SURPRISE BDAY x2, coming to cheer for me at cheer, casually inviting me to your home, Nice (omg you reading Scandinavia and the world to me!!), our Japan travels, everything, right up to getting your last dog, is a highlight in my life

17. What’s your least favourite story about them? :))) fuck if I am telling that on here. Oh shit I said I’d be honest. Look... I think sometimes you forget I’m pretty insecure and basically any minor (or... you know... not so minor) event that makes me think maybe you’ll leave me behind after all is just like. uhm. “least favorite stories” is a mild way to explain how I feel about those times

18. Why do you think you two ended up becoming best friends? My dudes I wonder a lot. I know it’s so much more than just living together, if anything that makes most people hate each other. It’s shared values, willingness to make balanced efforts for each other, an endless stream of ideas for fun coming from both sides, similar interests... I don’t know, but Chiru I am just so grateful everyday I did find you

19. Would you be honest with your best friend if they were happy doing something, but you think it might end up harming them in the end? Ouch. Ok well... The truth is sometimes I doooo worry, but I’m so convinced you know what you’re doing so much better than I do, that no, I tend to trust whatever you say, if you’re convinced (/telling me you’re convinced) that what you’re doing isn’t harming you, I’ll believe you. At least, that’s what I tell myself... A part me of does worry, though, that I just don’t speak up because you’ll already have all the arguments ready and we’ll just unnecessarily argue about it, and I’ll end up hurt, and yes exactly it’s as bad as it sounds, I’m worried I wouldn’t want to fight you over your happiness in case it would result in hurt feelings. I’m a mess, this is terrible and I gotta work on that

20. Does your best friend play any instruments? Why do you think they chose that instrument? BISH SAYS SHE CAN SORTA PLAY THE GUITAR AND PIANO BUT HAS SHE PLAYED FOR ME YET, I THINK NOT. I am unappreciated, where is my serenade (jk jk, I realy doooo wanna hear you play though!!)

21. Do you and your best friend have a dream for the future, if so, what is it? Move in with me please it’s the one thing that keeps me going

22. What is one thing you have always wanted to tell your best friend, but never have? :)))) ((((: *digs through a million letter drafts and hell, fic drafts, we all know where my inspiration comes from anyway* Sigh... Well first of all I need you to know you’re the most beautiful and kind soul I have ever encountered. Please get that through your head. Secondly... I don’t think I’d have EVER brought this up, but that’s what the question is aiming for, isn’t it... You probably only held my hand in Barcelona because I was so black-out wasted you were worried I wouldn’t follow you home otherwise, but it made me sort of ridiculously happy, and I guess I wouldn’t mind if it happened again

23. What do you think your best friend’s life will be like 10 years from now? What I’m thinking or wishful thinking hah... Thinking, well... deep breath, you’ll be alright :) You’ll have a comfortable home somewhere you like, with a job that suits you. You’re too stubborn to settle for any less. Your dogs are with you, of course. And so is whoever will be lucky enough to be chosen by you. You can guess based on that what the wishful thinking is

24. What song makes you think of your best friend? IT’S 4:18 AM AND HONESTLY THERE ARE SO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM (anything from Just Dance tbh XD) BUT I CHOOSE THIS GEM (45:21) because fukkit it’s cold as heeeeck in my room right now and I’m only listening to this kind of music

25. Just to end on a mean note, what’s your best friend’s worst personality trait? (Be honest now, guys, none of that “they’re just too kind” bullshit) Worst? You wanna hear something crazy... Well you know I miss you, I always do and have been for so long now, but once I thought maybe if I listed everything that maybe weren’t the beeesst parts of your personality, and all the parts of my personality that probably annoyed you, I’d force myself to accept that maybe it’d be best for us to stop living together... And gdi I tried. But it’s just a really ridiculous list ... or at least it was, until that one night... Remember when one of my friends took my phone and texted you quite extensively, and that went really really badly? Well here’s the moment of truth: (hey it’s 4:25 now and I was out) I had broken down sobbing after you compared me to your dogs again :’) Look, sober me can rationally process your way of thinking. But... I guess deep down, we’re not the same, I want to be loved and appreciated like a human being. I’m genuinely sorry I couldn’t bring myself to tell you this sooner, idk what I was so scared of. So, uh, “worst” personality trait (which really isn’t one but)... omg I can’t even phrase this without turning it against myself ahaha, like it’s my own fault for telling you that everything was fine when it wasn’t. So look this isn’t even about your worst personality trait, I guess it’s me realizing I gotta stop lying about crap, and I hope you’ll be considerate and understanding like always :’)