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melissamasakari · 3 months ago

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Confessions you didn`t notice

Chapter thirteen. Siblings update.

“Kid, I've been asked to tell you to come to the Corps in the evening. Arlo said he has some news for you.”

“Why didn’t he say it himself? He just passed by, the dust has not yet settled. Didn't even say hello. Are they killing someone there?”

“Nope, the mail will be delivered to the harbor today. Wuwa has arrived.”

“Oh, crap. I'll get two heaps of letters from my aunt again. Is the post also your responsibility?”

“Apparently, there is something personal there. I didn't ask. Maybe some documents from Lucien.”

“Oh dear. Is the Red Rage Season on the horizon?”

“Something like that. Once again he will dump all the paperwork on me. Or worse – he will only deal with paperwork and nothing else.”

“And the staff hasn’t been expanded yet?”

“Maybe we’ll find out today. It's time for me to get on the route.”

“Wait, you're not on the night watch today, are you?”

“Certainly not. It's Phyllis' birthday.”

“Oh, right! Thanks for reminding me. I just have enough time to bring her a gift. Have a great party tonight.”

“We'll try our best, bye-bye.”

News, that is. Did he really manage to dig up something? Or is he waiting for something different? I just hope this is not an order for an urgent transfer to another Corps unit.

“Arlo, are you home?” I went into the suspiciously quiet reception room of the Headquarters. There was a commotion coming from the showers. Okay, remember, Melissa, you're here on business. STOP fantasizing how does he look like right now.

“Wait a little, I’ll be right there.” What’s making SO much noise in there?

“Are you okay there?”

“Almost. I got attacked by a scary creepy bucket. But I can handle it. Who the fuck put it here and when?” I heard the clanking metallic sounds again. He kicked it, right? So a new one will now be needed. Oh, here he comes. With a wet hair, a towel on his shoulders, scented with herbs and wearing cozy home attire. Looks quite cute.

“What did you want to tell me? And is this connected with today's return of Wuwa?”

“To a certain degree. Come with me.”

I obediently followed surprisingly smug Arlo and carefully walked around the sports equipment scattered here and there. I could see that his collection is growing. And there seemed to be more photos at the nightstand. As I was staring at the changes within his room, I tripped over a sports kettlebell. Holding back a cry of pain, I realized the irony of the situation: I gave it to him myself.

“Are you okay? Sorry, I just flew in recently and didn't have time to clean up. How bad are you hurt?”

“It’s unpleasant, but nothing critical, just hit my little finger. Well, so what are your news?”

“Sit down, before you get hurt more,” he cleared the table and pulled out a chair for me invitingly. “Are you sure you don’t need a doctor? Xu's on duty today.”

“Maybe we’ll go later. Just spill your news, Captain.”

“Briefly speaking.”He rummaged through a pile of papers “they dug out Maurice’s medical record for us. It's obscenely old, but the basic information is there. There's also something about Clara if you need it. Unfortunately, not much, but I did everything I could.”

“Mom’s documents? Wow! I have almost nothing left from her. Let me see!” I reached for the stack of papers in his hand.

“Not so fast,” he teased, holding the stack of papers close. “You promised me something in return.” Oh, what a sly smile. I still hope that he will just ask for a DATE. True, I still don’t know what’s in the documents. Maybe we can't date at all.

“You still haven’t told me what do you want. If you broke the wall there with a bucket, I’ll fix it – no problem.”

“You will NOT get off that easy. I want to know what kind of investigation you’re doing. And why did you need the help of all the doctors and scientists.” Wow, so he dug it up. Okay, he cornered me.

“Fine. Let me collect my thoughts a little. You caught me off guard with this question. It's like I'm under interrogation.”

“I can bring you some tea while you’re collecting yourself. How much sugar do you want?”

“Two. No, better three and tea should be very strong. Wait, what? You've never had sugar here.”

“Now I do.”He pointedly shoved a stack of papers that interested me onto the top of his wardrobe and left.

I had no intention of peeking without permission. Although the law is on MY side now, actually. Well, how can I tell him all of this now? I will have to be as honest as possible, there are no other options. Because without his participation, the solution is not possible.

“Here you go. I’m listening,” a steaming cup of fragrant tea moved into my hands.

“If you��ll loom over me like that and I’ll forget why I came.”

“Because of fear? Am I that formidable?”

“No, out of admiration. For someone I suspect to be my older brother,” I blurted out and took a sip from my cup. It is delicious, alright.

“What? I would know if I had a sister. But my parents never got to get me one.”

“Gale thinks that you look suspiciously like me and Maurice.”

“How? Almost half of the city looks like you and me in various combinations. Are you going to consider everyone as relatives?”

“Why not? I’ve always wanted a real family. And it is quite possible that somewhere in the Free Cities I have a dozen of siblings. Pa didn't mourn for too long as far as I can tell...”

“Maybe. But at least Clara or Kendra should have known about the presence of someone older than you. So, you are against having me as your family?”

“I definitely did NOT say that.” Actually, I REALLY want to.

“Then what is it?”

“Would you be satisfied with this ‘brother’ status? In relation to ME.”

“Now that you’ve turned it around like that, I don’t know. But nothing stops us from going and checking. Right now. And we’ll show you your little finger to a doctor right away too.”

“Don’t you want to dry your hair properly first? The wind will blow it and you can catch a cold.”

“It’s too hot out there. But at least I can think clearly this way.”

Throwing the towel onto the bed and taking the papers from the closet, Arlo dragged me towards the exit.

“Hey, Xu! Hello, I need to talk business with you. No, two businesses,” the redhead dumped a stack of papers in front of the puzzled doctor and pointed at me. Come on, I’m hardly limping anymore, why such concern? “Please examine this young lady, she had hurt her foot and she is probably lying about the severity of her condition.”

“Good evening. Go to the couch, take off your shoes. And what’s the second thing?” The doc slowly left his place at the table, took the examination instruments and walked towards me while I followed his request.

“You’ve probably already heard this question recently. Can you check if two people are related? We have a noisy argument, and I want arguments.”

“Yeah, I understand. Give me that vial from the third shelf. Now you’ll feel some unpleasant sensations,” the doctor grabbed my foot and anointed me with something smelly from that vial. Then he gently blew on the injured area and deftly bandaged everything with a small piece of cloth and let me rest.

“Thank you, Xu. It was very elegant,” I praised the doctor.

“Trying my best. Do not tighten the lacing, but rather wear loose shoes. Avoid exercise for three days. If it hurts, apply something cool. If you notice severe swelling, contact me immediately. It may turn blue by morning – this is normal.”

“Mine usually turns yellow,” I slightly rolled up my shirt sleeve and showed a mark from a recent bruise just above the elbow.

“Individual reaction. Who did you want to check for blood relation? Each other, or what?”

“Well, sort of. You see, Gale spun some nonsense, and since I don’t really know much about dad, I’d like to find out.”

“Then I will immediately inform that this is absolutely impossible. I don’t argue that you have similar traits and certain suspicions could exist. Eyes with such a shade of iris are really not very common. At least here. Although, if you think about it... Take a closer look at Antoine, he is more suitable based on other criteria. And closer in age to time Maurice left.”

“What?! What kind of criteria? He never told me anything about his family. But that might explain his obsessive preoccupation with me. I’ll ask,” I said, confused. Well, Antoine is better than Arlo, of course. But that’s still very strange.

“What kind of criteria do you mean? One is not enough for a definite answer, isn’t it?” The redhead asked.

“I’m curious too. And why could it be Antoine... Is there some evidence?”

“Yes. But we are now looking the other way. Blood type is inherited. And since you have 00+ and you inherited it, judging by these papers, from your father, then...”

“Then?” Arlo became interested and pushed forward, leaning his elbows on the table, on the exact spot from where the doctor had recently moved.

“Do not interrupt! This combination is not possible. Your blood type is too rare. AB +. In the Old World there were less than ten percent of such people. Maurice cannot possibly be your father; he does not have the necessary, to put it simply... inherit traits. Besides, I'm quite confident in your parents, too. They have just such a combination that works out perfectly to produce you. What made you doubt?”

“I guess I just believed in the idea that I could have a sister,” the redhead nodded in my direction, “I had always wanted to.”

“Not in this case. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“No, thank you very much. We won't distract you more.”

Arlo, now definitely-not-my-brother, for a change very carefully opened the door of the clinic, let me out and also quietly closed it behind him. Growing up, I guess?

“Well, are you satisfied with the result?”

“Quite. And you sound a bit disappointed.”

“Never mind. All sorts of stupid thoughts. May I escort you home?”

“In this clothes? Will you go through the whole city like that? No, all the girls, should they meet you along the way, they will be jealous, of course. But then all sorts of rumors will be spread.”

“Oh, stop it. We can then go to my place. Do you want to? Let's prepare dinner, rest until the morning. If your finger gets worse, the clinic is nearby. I'm hanging in my den all alone today.”

“Sounds like you're planning some family get-together after work.”

“Oh well, suit yourself. Just let's go somewhere already, otherwise the midges will skin us alive.”

“OK. Can you tell me a bedtime story, brother?” I teased and entered the headquarters.

“Whatever, just don’t ever call me that again.”

“Accepted. What are we going to cook?” I asked starting towards the kitchen.

“Can you teach me that creamy spaghetti recipe? It seems like we have everything we need for that recipe.”

“No problem. I’ll just go get changed, do you mind?”

“It feels like you planned to stay from the beginning.”

“Random coincidence. Carol caught me on the way here and told me that my new home attire is ready.”

“Should I give you some slippers?”

“Your slippers? I'll end up with even more bumps. Besides, the floor is cool, which is good for my injury.”

“Well, then hop in the shower. There is a first aid kit there. The towel is fresh. Just like I knew that you'll stay here. I'll go clean up the mess in the room while waiting.”

A very badly dented bucket met me right at the threshold of the shower. Arlo kicked it well, and I somehow forgot it. It’s so strange, this is not my first time here, but today the feeling is completely different. It's like I belong here. Having properly showered, I went out to try on my new outfit. Everything was exactly as I ordered: long narrow pants made of gray stretchy fabric and a long blue T-shirt almost reaching the knees. Comfortable. It’s a pity, the mirror is fogged up, I can’t really see anything. I tied up my damp hair with the ribbon and went to the reception room.

“I'm ready. What do you think?”

“Wonderful! I had just finished and was getting lonely.”

We quickly prepared dinner leaving no mess behind. Once again I noticed how smoothly we do anything together, and it’s not tedious at all. Even cleaning was not annoying. We ate dinner in the kitchen, so as not to carry dishes. Then we washed everything right away.

“You see, I told you, you’re doing great.”

“Only under your strict guidance. It's a good thing you weren't here the last time I screwed up fried eggs.”

“You gotta be kidding me! How did you do that?”

“Hm, at first egg white wasn’t cooked through. I increased the heat and covered it with a lid. Then I just blinked for a moment and came to my senses when there were only embers. Sam then scolded me and didn’t allow me to close the windows for another two days.”

“Well, shit happens. Didn’t you think of just stirring the excessive liquid whites with a spatula in a hot frying pan? This is how we did it with the sauce today.”

“Was it possible?”

“I hope you’re just having me on now. I won’t believe that with your great cooking skills you didn’t gasp such an obvious method on your own.”

“Now I know. Or maybe, you'll show it to me in the morning, I’ll remember it better with practice.”

“Agreed. What's next for us with the declared program? Do you have some kind of night work available or you’re just on alert duty?”

“More of the second. I am here in case of something bad happens. By the way, let's go check if anyone came in.”

“Let's go, of course. I'm occupying the sofa next to the cage!” I carefully walked around the furniture, nursing my leg, and was the first to leave the kitchen.

“That’s not fair! This is my favorite spot!” He rushed after.

“What about the rules of hospitality?” I said, plopped down in the corner of the sofa, placed a couple of pillows to my convenience and tucked my legs under me.

“You're right. And obviously you’re so small that the two of us can fit in here together!”

“Well, come on, just don’t push. Where is my promised fairy tale?”

“Fine. I’ll put the baby to bed and head to my place,” I responded to this malicious remark by throwing a pillow at him.

“Once again you’ll call me baby and...”

“And what?” He interrupted me with a sly grin, fluffing the pillow he caught.

“And our relationship is over. I will stop visiting and formalize our communication. Or cut if off completely.” Ha, Melissa, do you yourself believe in your own threat?

“Got it, sorry, just don't be angry please. I won’t survive such a blow,” said Arlo, not embarrassed at all. He lounged next to me at his full height. Unable to resist, I lightly tickled his feet. There was no reaction, as If it was just the way of things.

“You’re not afraid of tickles, are you?” I was indignant and increased pressure.

“I don't know. You are the first one who dared to try. Keep going and we'll figure it out.”

“That’s not interesting. You're not reacting.”

“So how should it be? Your fingers are so warm and tender. If this should have annoyed me, you guessed wrong. By the way, this is quite surprising.”

“What exactly?”

“With such neat little hands you manage to swing a sledgehammer and carry heavy things. And then you come home in the evening and embroider all sorts of custom-made jewelry.”

“Oh, so did you see the brooch I gave to Phyllis today? I spent two weeks fiddling around and barely managed to finish it. People don't usually order things like this from me. That’s exclusive for my friends.”

“I saw it, yeah. Out of the corner of my eye. You know, considering WHERE the girls pin such decorations, I didn’t get much time to look at it,” wow, he blushed deeply. Looks so handsome.

“Yeah. She has great distraction unit,” I said with envy, “at least she liked the gift. I was very worried.”

“By the way, why aren’t you with them? I thought you'd be invited.”

“Maybe because I’m with you now?”

“An unexpected choice.”

“Why? I feel good with you. Moreover, you invited me yourself. And you also got me a royal gift.”

“Which one? I didn't seem to do anything special today.”

“Memory of my mother. And very cozy night gathering. It’s not often that someone can just find you at home like that.”

“More often than you think. But I'm usually not able to have long conversations when I'm so tired that I’m all but crawling.”

“Then I’ll take advantage of the moment. Tell me something funny, okay? Surely you have a whole load of all sorts of interesting stories from your time in Corps.”

“Well, okay. But at first I wanna hear one of yours.”

“Which one?”

“About your Civil corps badges. Why didn’t you mention before that you were in Corps?”

“Oh. You didn’t ask. And I thought you would notice such a detail in my profile sooner, Mr Great Detective. Why does it bother you now?”

“Cause I think you’re qualified enough to lead Corps here. Well, when I’ll finally get my promotion and leave that is. I need to make sure my successor will be a reliable person. I thought of Sam at first, cause Remy wants to leave to Periphery once. So... it could be your position instead, I can do that.” He thoughtfully scratched his beard while loading those thoughts onto me. “Would you accept such a job offer then?”

“FUCK YOU, red-block-head!” Or better yet fuck me instead! “No way I’m taking your place here. Don’t even dare to ask me again!” I stood up abruptly, took a few steps and heavily hit his shoulder with another pillow. I just don’t wanna think about him leaving Portia. Not NOW, I almost finished that dumb heart knot! At least give me a chance to confess properly!

“But why not? You’re good fighter, also smart and quite diplomatic. And my team admires you as well. You’ll do just great!” He tried to take the pillow out of my hand.

“I said STOP it, please,” my voice broke cause I was trying to hold my tears back and turned away. “I’ll go and make us some tea” I muttered and took a step away.

“Wait.” Arlo grabbed my wrist pulling me back. Then he sat me down on the coach beside him and hugged me from behind. I was caught completely off guard and almost bursted into tears.

For some time nothing more happened. I just sat there enveloped in his arms and listened to his heartbeat. Despite the fact that it was beating very fast it managed to calm me down. Maybe it will change pretty soon, but now he is with me. Right here. And I hope he enjoys this as much as I do. Otherwise he wouldn’t hug me, right?

“Well, now I wanna know about YOUR great plans for the future. When you’ll pass your exams and finally join The Flying Pigs.” I leaned my head a little bit back so I could rest it on his shoulder more comfortably.

“I just...Didn’t think that far. So. I don’t know for sure.”

“Understood. Right now nothing keeps you here except for your duty.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Please, prove me wrong, captain. “But now that I think about it...”

“I really like spaghetti. Oh, with hot sauce.”, I couldn’t help myself but continue his catch-phrase. I’ve heard it so many times that my imitation turned out quite good.

“Ha! You got me!” He laughed softly and released me from the hug. “Now we’re in a proper mood for funny stories, let’s get some tea and finally start.”

So we stayed there almost until dawn, comfortably sitting on the sofa. Arlo told some stories about work, I listened attentively, sipping fragrant tea. They speak the truth in the city, he’s a good tale-teller, I listened as if enchanted.

I was awakened by the strange sound of a mechanical click. Lazily opening one eye, I saw Remy, barefoot, sneaking upstairs. What a bullshit, I’m probably dreaming. The click was repeated. A more detailed inspection of the surroundings revealed that an extremely happy Sam was standing opposite the sofa with a camera in her hands. With gestures she first indicated ‘quiet’, then nodded upward, drew a heart in the air with her finger and smiled smugly. Then she touched the camera hanging on the neck strap and nodded again. What a pantomime! Why is she so happy? Following the direction of my grinning friend’s gaze, I found Arlo sleeping peacefully next to me. He still didn’t go to his bed. Instead, he sat with his back leaning against the corner of the sofa, his elbow resting unsteadily on the armrest. Trying to move as little as possible, I realized that my head was resting comfortably on his shoulder and I was partially hidden by the blanket wrapping us together. The top of my head was tickled by his red fluffy beard. He seemed to put his other arm around me, holding me close to him. I didn’t even remember when he managed to bring the blanket yesterday. After thinking a little, I settled back down to get some sleep over the strong and calm beat of his heart. I tried not to wake him up; if he wants to, he’ll get out on his own. Releasing one hand from under the blanket, I pointed my finger first at the camera in Sam's hand, then stuck out three fingers. Having waited for an affirmative nod, I showed her where my bag was and, fidgeting a little, fell asleep.

The next time I was alerted by the creaking sound of the door. Sam was doing something in the boss's bedroom. What a sly cat! I’ll find out what kind of a mess she’s done there later. She'll tell me everything anyway. I hope at least she didn’t forge his signatures.

I finally woke up when I realized that I my head and hair were gently stroked. That feels so nice! I decided to pretend to be asleep to prolong the pleasure. It might have worked, but one strand tickled my nose. Arlo recoiled, pretending that he had nothing to do with it. I jerked up sharply and sneezed deafeningly.

“Bless you!”

“Thanks. Have you been awake for a long time?” “I woke just now. I didn’t want to wake you up, it just happened,” he answered in a guilty tone. “Don’t worry,” I crawled away and stretched sleepily. I tried to look at the clock above the front door, but I couldn’t see it from here. “What time is it? Don't you need to save the world at once?” “A little after noon. Saving not required just now, so we have enough time to wash up and have a breakfast.”

“Okay,” I rubbed my eyes with my fists, “is the order arbitrary?”

“I recommend starting with your morning routine. In the meantime, I'll see what we can cook.”

“Sure. And what’s your plans for today?”

“I'm gonna ruin dive. It’s my turn.”

“Oh, yes. It’s Sunday. Well, be careful down there. Remember, safety first!”

I cleaned myself up and changed clothes and that’s when I found new photographs in my bag. Sam is an angel! Oh, how cute we turned out! Just like two sleeping kitties. I'll hang it right on the closet door! So every time I change clothes, I will recall this wonderful moment. Me and Arlo had a breakfast and went about our businesses. Now it's definitely right time to finish my special gift for him.

#mtap #mtap female builder #my time at portia #mtap arlo #mtap arlo x builder #my time at portia arlo

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mareastrorum · 1 year ago

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TF&TS Meta: How did The Fool and the Soldier come about?

Since I am posting another chapter on Friday, no WIP Wednesday excerpt today! However, I will try to throw out a meta post 2 days before each chapter to tide people over.

This post goes through the following questions:

Where did the idea come from? Why did I want to write it? What premise does it cover?

See the directory for other meta posts.

I finished Campaign 2 in July 2022. It was great! Loved it! Hyped for the book! Pre-ordered it! Queued up the Campaign 2 Wrap Up.

In the wrap up, the cast discussed what Taliesin knew about Mollymauk and Lucien (basically nothing), and what Matt had originally planned for Molly’s character arc before he died on Glory Run Road in episode 26. Matt explained:

“How I had initially had planned it was that Lucien, the original soul that was in Molly’s body—after being shattered—found his way back but had to go into another body and is trying to get the original body with the nine eyes back. And so it was going to be— what was this movie? There was this old, I want to say, Denzel Washington movie about this killer spirit that would transition from body to body through touch. I can’t— it was a film from the late ‘90s or something. … But anyway, I wanted Lucien to be this, like, spirit that would jump from person to person and was, like, a recurring antagonist trying to find a way to kill Molly to take the body back or find a way to remove Molly from the body to take it back. And that was going to be a smaller ongoing villain until things like the Somnovem got revealed, and then Molly died. I was like, ‘Fuck!’ … Or, yeah.”

The movie that Matt couldn’t remember was Fallen, a 1998 thriller about a detective who discovers that a serial killer he had caught was actually possessed by a spirit/demon named Azazel. Azazel had spent thousands of years possessing people, systematically ruining their lives, massacring those they care about, and moving on whenever his victims get caught or killed. Azazel set his sight on the detective once he realized what was going on, and the film follows the detective’s attempts to stop Azazel.

I love that film. It’s such a cheesy ‘90s thriller. I love Azazel. He’s a horrific, sly, manipulative predator playing with his food the entire film. I enjoyed Lucien as a villain for the same reasons.

Azazel’s powers were incredibly creepy. He could possess people upon a touch, and very few could resist him. In NYC, a notoriously overpopulated city, he could practically swim through people tapping each other in a chain. If his host died, he could travel through the air to a new host, and when he did that, no one could resist him. He perfectly controlled his hosts, stole their voices and memories, and had tons of nasty tricks for tormenting his prey. He could be anyone, anywhere, and there was no easy way to contain or detect him if he didn’t want to be. Just a delicious villain in every way.

However, even though I was so certain someone would have already taken that idea and run with it for an AU, no one had done it. Some fanfics explored Lucien as a more traditional ghost or haunting dreams, and a smidgen of fanfics addressed something similar to body-snatching. But not a full-on Azazel-style spirit pursuing Molly and trying to murder him throughout Campaign 2.

So I stewed in that for a while and thought: what would Lucien's spirit abilities even be in a D&D game? Taliesin had chosen the ghostslayer subclass, so I’m certain Lucien would have been undead. That would have given Taliesin a chance to really capitalize on his subclass and show off all the cool shit. However, individual and bodiless undead are pretty lame in D&D against a group as large as the Mighty Nein. Lucien couldn’t have been one of Matt's Lingering Souls because that could be killed permanently, and it would have been really easy for the Mighty Nein to do that. That wouldn't work for a recurring villain. He'd get Lorenzo'd. So Lucien would have to have been something that was more challenging for a group, and he'd need to be able to come back from each defeat.

Since Matt would have certainly customized a stat block, I built a monster block for Lucien with Azazel style mechanics by mashing together different types of undead. Then I got all the character sheets from CritRoleStats and played out how it would work in actual combat. I had to adjust it when it turned out that Molly would absolutely curbstomp Lucien. An undead spirit trying to kill Molly would have to be incredibly powerful just to survive the fight, let alone threaten Molly’s life.

As I tried to finesse the block, I thought, wait, when would that have even happened in the campaign? Would Molly have leveled up by the time they crossed paths? I looked up the timeline on the wiki to sort out when there would be an opportunity for (1) Lucien to come back as a spirit in the first place, and (2) when he would be able to reach the Mighty Nein.

But first, well, how would Lucien come back? If he wasn’t a Lingering Soul, and he had to be repaired by the Somnovem, then he was somewhere in the Astral Sea. The Somnovem probably couldn’t just fling a soul across the planes, so someone needed to summon him to the Material Plane. Who would do it? The Tombtakers! But how? Only Cree and Otis have spells, so one of them. Otis can't use summoning spells like that, and there's no way for Otis to contact the Somnovem. But Cree could Commune! Cree had Legend Lore! But when would she use that? And so on and so on until I worked out a plausible way and time for him to come back.

Then I had a subsequent question: why would the Somnovem send Lucien as a spirit instead of telling Cree to murder Molly? Matt might or might not have had an explanation already planned—or maybe he would have gone in an entirely different direction—but regardless, it never came out in the campaign. At that point, I figured that I wasn’t going to write anything, but I couldn’t avoid the bigger question that I had been ignoring the whole time: if someone were to do that AU, how would Molly have even survived at Glory Run Road?

And then I had an idea.

It was going to be a lot of fucking work, and I was still set on not writing a fanfic, so I wrote the outline to get it out of my head and reasoned that would burn off all the motivation. I spent all of August creating a massive outline for the entire campaign and then editing it to fit in this rough idea of how it would play out. When would the attacks occur? How would things change between each of them? How would each side adapt? I eventually began fleshing out themes and ideas for the Somnovem, then the Tombtakers, and then Lucien, and Lucien’s backstory.

At that point, about September 2022, I figured, okay, I’d write it. But I would wait until The Nine Eyes of Lucien came out to finish polishing Lucien’s backstory so that I would know what to include in the AU.

I did not enjoy TNEOL. Part of that is my fault, I had high expectations. However, that is also beside the point—my enjoyment of something has little to do with whether the material was useful. After all, the appeal of fanfiction is that writers can change what they don’t like or add things in that were removed or sanitized. The problem was that the characterization of Lucien Tavelle in TNEOL was completely incompatible with an Azazel-style villain.

Characters are literary devices for telling a story. They need to be created with the genre and intended themes already in mind. A protagonist, who just needed someone to redeem his poor misguided soul, from a tragedy is not going to match up with Azazel by any stretch of the imagination.

Azazel was a serial killer. He was cruel, clever, egotistical, relentless, manipulative, playful, menacing, and charismatic. Lucien Tavelle was none of those things. Tavelle was careless, idiotic, spineless, lazy, inconsiderate, ignorant, and utterly delusional. TNEOL went out of its way to make Tavelle a lamer version of Molly. Tavelle would not act like Azazel, he would not make full use of Azazel’s abilities in a way that would be entertaining to a reader nor suitable for a horror/thriller villain, and he would probably give up after the first or second time the Nein beat him into submission. Why? Because there was no coherent motivation for his desire to be the Nonagon. He didn’t even do it because he thought it was fun. It was simply a conclusion that he wanted to be the Nonagon because the narrative demanded it. Whether anyone attributes that to irrationality based in grief or madness, Tavelle would have been a disappointing villain as an undead haunting Molly.

Worse, Lucien Tavelle would have been a terrible antagonist for Molly. Molly was designed to avoid his character arc—he would not have willingly sought out Lucien or anything about him absent some external motivation to do so. There would have been no pressure to have anything resembling a character arc if Tavelle was the one chasing him. A grief-stricken, insane ghost would have left Molly unimpressed and bored. He’d have shrugged off any semblence of conflict. Maybe he would have shifted from mocking Tavelle to pitying him, but there would have been so little substance to their dynamic.

Note: This has nothing to do with the relationship between Lucien Tavelle and Molly in TNEOL. Their roles as protagonist and antagonist were reversed in the book. The issue is that in the AU, Molly would be the protagonist and Lucien would be the antagonist. Thus, Lucien would need to be some sort of catalyst or foil for whatever arc Molly goes through, and Tavelle was simply not written with that in mind. After all, that wasn’t the premise of the book. These stories have different purposes, and that imposes different characterization needs.

I needed a character that would suit Azazel’s abilities and the premise that Lucien would ruthlessly try to murder Molly or rip his soul out of his body so that Lucien could trek through Aeor for the threshold crests, fry the Somnovem’s minds, and use Cognouza to take over the world. I needed a villain. Specifically, I needed a villain that puts Molly through a character arc and was canonically going to assimilate all of existence. This is important: if the Nein hadn’t killed the Tombtakers and destroyed that threshold crest, and if Molly hadn’t fucked with Lucien from within in the final battle, the Nein would have lost. The default outcome was that Lucien conquered Cognouza and returned to the Material Plane.

Trying to make TNEOL fit with this premise was going to be an overwhelming amount of work that would have resulted in a mediocre-at-best villain who was really just a poor little meow meow at the center. That wouldn’t work for a compelling thriller/horror/action/adventure longfic AU going through all of Campaign 2 where the looming threat is that the villain will win if the protagonists don’t get their shit sorted.

Fuck.

Thus, I disregarded TNEOL entirely. I did not make that decision lightly. That meant I needed to develop a headcanon from scratch and sort out how to work that into the story itself or write multiple stories for it to make sense. Why not include parts of it? Because I decided to write something I would enjoy, and I didn’t enjoy TNEOL. Why would I pick out pieces of something I didn’t like to shoehorn into a different story when I had already decided not to include the main character? I’m not going to combine two stories meant for different audiences, genres, and purposes into something that would be less than if I just did my own thing.

By the end of November, I had methodically gone through every single plot hole or gap in explanation that I could find in the campaign related to Molly, Lucien, the Tombtakers, Vess DeRogna, and the Somnovem to develop that headcanon. I also managed to come up with a way to work that backstory in: dreams. Thus, it all fits in one story, though it certainly has chunky chapters. By 8/4/23, when the story was first published on AO3, I had reached 400k words in 9 months.

I am well aware that my opinion of TNEOL is not the majority opinion. I love ruthless, ambitious villains, and TNEOL was not written for people like me. I was simply not the target audience of that book by any metric. However, TF&TS was always going to feature a ruthless, ambitious villain. This fanfic is the result of my excitement for a premise that Matt discussed in the campaign wrap up. I refuse to undermine any of that for the sake of a book that doesn’t address that premise—TNEOL wasn’t meant to, and that is not a criticism. That is a simple fact.

Don’t take my opinion as a guide as to whether you should or shouldn’t have enjoyed TNEOL. There is a Venn Diagram of unknown size where there is an overlap between fans of TNEOL and people who would enjoy TF&TS. They are not mutually exclusive things. However, I want to be very clear, both in the tags and in my meta posts, that this AU will have a completely different flavor so that readers aren’t surprised when they read TF&TS and think, “Well, that’s not what the book did.” I know. I read it. It doesn’t work for this story.

In closing, go watch Fallen. It’s fucking great.

#TF&TS #TF&TS meta #Azazel!Lucien

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notproofread · 2 years ago

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so i finished a court of wings an ruin pt.2

let us talk about the men... even though i don't really want to talk about them. for the most part they really disappointed me lol

Tamlin

tamlin is.... trying to be better (at least in the beginning) i guess but there will be no way that he will actually heal & get to move on if not only feyre but lucien as well betray him, use him, destroy him & his court

I was very much interested to see where the story leads him though I had no actual hopes for him to get a redemption arc (which he deserves, I stand by that point argue with the wall)

then he was not trying to do better anymore but now I think he is fully leaning into the villain role which FINALLY gives him the edge that has been missing

because now i see and feel that he has turned his back to prythian because he has really lost EVERYTHING that had importance to him (feyre, lucien, his court, ...). now we can make a good villain out of him, you know?

....

.......

..........

.............

make up your mind tamlin god fucking damn it, im getting tired of your back and forth DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE WOLRD BURN OR DO YOU NOT YOU ARE WORSE THAN ME AND I AM A SUN LIBRA MOON GEMINI

also sorry but how tf did he survive until the end my mans should have died or been killed on so many occasions bruh

Lucien

see this is what I was hoping for after the first and second book, lucien is so cool & such an interesting character especially considering his (still kinda unexplored) backstory

•so WHY is his ONLY character trait now elain??? please there is so much more to him, give me literally anything else

the descriptions of him fitting into the surroundings of the autumn court are so amazing though I am literally in love

i think its cool how he gets to work with the people at the night court and i hope he gets to work more with azriel and maybe rhys especially with things about autumn and spring court

also loved to see his inner feelings regarding elain and jasminda!! that was such a nice detail to show that he is falling (hard) for elain but still feels guilt about his first love (still annoying though)

... great, written off to go find a human queen... guess thats one way to get rid of a character... could've just killed him if you didn't need him bye

Rhysand

rhysand ... why fuck first talk later? war is coming my dude you can get your dick wet later, after you have heard news and planned accordingly???? Im disappointed 100% ew

but nooooo, instead we get this weird horny political talk... am I supposed to enjoy this?

apart from that he was kinda boring

unfiltered thoughts after he "died": i CANT BELIVE CAN NOT BELIEVE that he died AND THEN WAS RESURRECTED THE SAME WAY FEYRE WAS bro that was the most unnecessary scene i have ever read why make me go through all that tension (again bc it happened with feyre before) just to make him come back to life this is so shit i don't know wether to laugh or cry

but tbh i didnt believe for 1 second that he was actually dead, im sorry but there was no way SJM would have the balls to kill of Rhys lol

Tarquin

unrelated but I miss Tarquin he was cool I have a crush on him <3

he is way too good for the other high lords, i'd rather read about him

Cassian

eh... boring at best, annoying at his worst.

bro what the hell why are you so fucking obsessed with nesta YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HER and clearly she is trying to avoid you take a hint (no that is not romantic its creepy and annoying)

like "no means no" also applies to fae or other magical beings leave her A L O N E

he was so cool in the first book but this time it also feels like his only remaining character trait is nesta (giving very much lucien and i hate it) and maybe a bit of fighting/training stuff

Azriel

stays true to his character (at least in the beginning...)

if feyre is going to butt into his love life more I am going to riot, leave the man alone!

only one who actually pays actual attention to elain (yes, not even lucien does this as well as az) & figures her powers out first

also love how he is obv in love with mor but is neither making this his only character trait (looking @ you cassian & lucien) nor doing everything for her. he is NOT changing but staying true to his self i hope this stays the same

......

..........

...............

ah nevermind he just tried to suffocate eris... honestly though I get the like pride & protect my family stuff but arent all of them a bit too easily riled up? all high lords & courts are assholes after all, you guys included. you should know this by now

slay for saving elain

Jurian

now what is this?

wha- why does SJM want to give everyone a redemption so bad (except for tamlin ofc we been knew)

am i really supposed to believe that Jurian has reached clarity after witnessing everything through Amarantha? it was so such a good concept, having a human turn insane and helping those he despised

and (even if its a bad example) would have showed that humans and fae CAN work together after all

all men do is lie. only tarquin slays. bye.

#no characters die in here anyways #except when theyre the villain or unimportant #i fell in love with lucien and then i was given NOTHING #go rhysand give us nothing #tamlin #lucien #rhysand #tarquin #azriel #cassian #jurian #actoar #acowar #a court of wings and ruin

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veryunsettledpeeps · 3 years ago

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First draft romance

I step into the library, the sound of my heels echoing in the room. “I knew you would find me soon enough.” A deep voice says. He drags his fingers down my exposed back. “I apologize for not asking you for a dance.” Lucien whispers in my ear. “But I had business to attend to.” I hold my breath, scared to move even an inch.

Lucien ran his hand across my back again as he stepped in front of me, watching me like lion stares at its prey. “You don’t scare me.” I tell him defiantly, tilting my chin upward.

A smirk crosses Lucien’s face as he reaches forward to play with a loose strand of my hair, his calloused fingers brushing against my cheek. “My orchid,” he mumbles, stepping closer so our bodies were barely touching. “I wasn’t trying to scare you.” He grabs my chin, tilting it up further as his lips threaten to brush against mine. “I was trying to seduce you.”

#not a prompt #why does lucien come off creepy #I swear he's very nice #he's just salty about the attempted murder #creative writing #novel writing #romance #novel #writing #hero x villain #first draft

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rosenecklaces · 3 years ago

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I'm gonna take one for the team and say that many gwynriels don't give a fuck about azriel like they say they do, the only aspects they like of him are headcanons or made up bullshit that they think is canon

First was the he feels so off in the last book and in the bonus,like Sarah forgot who he is

No . She didn't forgot, shes giving us an insight of how azriel has being feeling and about who.

He's still polite as always,attentive to his family and helping them in what they need You guys aren't his personal friends to be this bold and say "this isn't how azriel is" lmao we barely know things about him and even less what he thinks, what your talking about?

The biggest difference in his pov is that now we know more of how he feels for elain, the fact he's being yearning for her to the point he watch her gift all night and that he's frustrated and confusing of why lucien is her mate and not him when they obviously like eachother...thats all. We also have a set up for the next book since the discussion with rhys that is pretty obvious he would not follow his order of staying away from her

Second they came with the actually is kinda predatory how he thinks of elain in my opinion...like makes me icky how he sexualized her and that's why I can't ship them, and she also haves a mate! how he could not care about that? That's not Az! he gives me toxic vibes-blahblahblah

I hate hate HATE this takes and i think any actual azriel stan do too. sighhh okey idk who came with this stupids takes first, if eluciens or gwynriels, i don't care but like?

This types of opinions come from people that either doesn't know how attraction works, doesn't know how sjm writes about male characters, doesn't have reading compressions or all three lol

This has been said before by elriel and azriel stans: is completely normal that men gets horny about their loved one,is normal they think of them sexually, jerk off and have fantasies of wanting to sleep with them is NORMAL even in those fae books. Especially in those fae smut romance books ( examples: rhys,cassian)

So coming back to what i said: how the fuck do you like azriel but choose to ignore completely that this is a 500+ man, who is intelligent, so by now he knows what he wants and when he likes someone, that even had sexual partners before? he obviously isn't the type to not think sexually of someone he's attracted to.

I dare say he desires elain like no other i mean ( an pardon my french) bitch have you read how he was thinking about her? like did you actually did?

He would beg on HIS knees for a taste of it,he wants to see her face of PLEASURE and let's not forget his hands shaking when he was putting the necklace on her How is any of this creepy or toxic behavior? He even thinks of HER pleasure first i-

This is a man so beautiful that he would get who he wants if it was just lust what he feels for her, so is pretty damn insulting to his characterization to think he only would see elain as a sexual partner when he spend a lot of time with her,is protective of her and they both shared glances and little touches all this time

Azriel is not a fucking child, he KNOWS the difference between being horny and genuinely liking someone for fucks sake

And with the elain being mated? She doesn't want lucien and neither he she, so this whole "do you guys want him to be a homewreker?" is pure bullshit also

Wrong. it was so wrong. HE DIN'T CARE gotta remark the last part because giving even the chance that elain was with lucien as a couple he wouldn't give a fuck anyways at least while she likes him back!

Then there's this az deserves a mate,he even vocalize that he wants one! he haves to fall for someone that offers him pure love and loves him for who he is, and isn't afraid of what he does so gwyn is perfect to be his mate so he could feel truly loved ~eww, I hate this one as much as the az being toxic one

Let's unpack all this...

1. He wants ELAIN as his mate,not a MATE perse. Also with context you should already know that he said the "yet why isn't she my mate?" because he obviously is upset that his brothers are with archerons yet the archeron he wants to be with is mated to another, simple. He's questioning "what if the cauldron was wrong?" since that said archeron doesn't want anything with his mate, yet she responds to azriel touches,looks and knows him for some time so she definetly likes him back is perfectly normal that he's confused about the cauldron decision

2. What's the obsession of some gwynriels of az having a "pure love", what the fuck that even means? Elain is a good person,soft but with character and friendly so I don't understand how can az being in love with elain inpure? Is it because she haves a stupid mate? Because we already talked about that...

3. Elains already knows what he does and loves the way he is (to her and to his family) enough said

4. Just because azriel haven't being in a romantic relationship doesn't mean he isn't loved and i hate when people says that with gwyn he will feel loved for the first time in his life, while he already is! He haves friends and his brothers. Also elain is his romantic interest so miss me with that bullshit

Is very clear to me that most gwynriels shippers completely erase parts of az to make gwyn fit with him just so elain gets out of the picture. They claim to love him and understand him and yet forget who he is as a person and as a man

Azriel has made very clear he wants elain, he's a grown ass man of 500+ and he knows already that he haves feelings for elain and now he and we know she also haves them for him

He haves a family that loves him so hes not some desesperate man who needs a mate to give him love or he dies

Azriel deserves to be loved romantically? Yes, but most importantly he needs to be chosen by that person and i don't think a mating bond to gwyn will be considered being chosen by the person you love, but rather a cauldron doing it for him

Hes not a baby or stupid, stop invalidating his feelings

So my doubt is, how is it that people who said all that about az and treats him like a kid who doesn't know what he does or wants, like him? How can you ignore how he feels and for who and claim you like him?

Don't make me laugh...

#azriel shadowsinger #pro azriel #elriel #anti gwynriel #he haves so many feelings of how people makes az to be #please stick to canon and don't ignore how he feels if you oh care so much for him 🙄#i have*

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separatist-apologist · 2 years ago

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The ranking acotar seem fun. The acotar char rank as they wait at the airport

17. Cassian- Not on time. Forgot his passport at home, has to go get it. Argues with gate agent for 20 whole minutes despite a line fifty people deep. Misses his flight, has to drive.

16. Feyre-Traveling with a baby is hard. Trying to drag two suitcases, a car seat + a stroller up the the check desk. Isn't her fault that the baby is cranky and didn't realize too many grown adults have no problem with people taking their shoes off on a plane will suddenly lose their shit over the mere sight of a baby. Gets into a loud yelling match with another passenger seated beside her and baby, has to be moved.

15. Jurian- makes a "joke" about a bomb in TSA line. Already has a shifty look about him. Spends 5 hours being interrogated before placed on no fly list. Drives with Cassian.

14. Tarquin- doing his best but airports stress him out. Why does he have to take his shoes off, again? Forgot to wear socks with flip flops, now forced to wait barefoot on terrible airport floor. Full bottle of sunscreen confiscated for his trouble.

13. Amren- Will not declare how much jewels she is bringing back. No one stops her, but it is definitely going to come back to haunt her later. Complains about giggling baby from four seats back despite headphones she has been wearing whole flight.

12. Tamlin- Nearly misses flight while standing in line for coffee. Legs too long for seat, neighbor immediately puts their head on his shoulder so he can't move for 6 hours. Says nothing until he "accidentally" spills sprite in their lap.

11. Rhysand- flirting with gate agents/stewardesses. Everyone is suddenly "darling". Drunk in airport bar despite it being 8 am. Somehow no one finds this creepy. Naps on Feyre's shoulder entire flight, doesn't notice Nyx coloring on his face.

10. Elain- Way too many checked bags. Twice as much underwear per outfit ratio, "just in case". Tries to bring seeds into country despite all the signs telling her not to and is fined.

9. Vassa- LOUD. Carrying on phone conversation using speaker. Refuses to use headphones while watching tiktoks at full blast.

8. Mor- FILMING tiktoks INSIDE airport. Doing her little dancey dances on the moving sidewalks while not letting other people pass. Has stuffed carrying on plus backpack + purse, starts an angry fight with gate agent when they try and check bag

7. Helion- MANSPREADING. Why is this man taking up a whole row of chairs? Hogging charging station, books spread everywhere. Has middle seat despite ass that won't quit, making seat make very uncomfortable.

6. Lucien- Parks himself in front of sbarro in airport foodcourt and immediately begins doing whatever laptop people at airports do. So engrossed in spreadsheets he has to SPRINT to his flight not to miss it. Forced to check bag when he's last to board, pays for the inflight wifi like a sucker

5. Emerie- one immaculately packed bag. Documents all in hand. Unruffled, unbothered, dressed like a runway model despite 5am flight. Upgraded seat so she does not have to sit with the masses.

4. Gwyn- Nervous and won't stop talking about it. Keeps gesturing for people beside her to take out headphones so she can talk. Doesn't realize airport is not the place to make a friend.

3. Eris- SEDATED. First class ticket with its own boarding area. Hiding in lounge so he does not have to participate in group conversation. Takes sleeping pill before plane ever takes off, wakes just in time for landing. Can barely remember how he got there.

2. Nesta- Been carefully planning for months. Comfy shoes, eye mask, good book with backup just in case. Pre-downloaded movies/shows if she gets bored, snacks in her carry on. Unruffled, resting bitch face immaculate.

Azriel- One back pack and a set of head phones. Beanie, sweatpants, and a t-shirt. Checked in 24 hours before, gets to airport 3 hours early to avoid long security line. First person on plane, bought a window seat. No one realizes he even made it on until they land and find him waiting at baggage carousel.

#azriel started from the bottom now hes here #again #you cant argue with the correct-ness of this list #if your fave is acting a fool in an airport #you have to make peace with that #if i had to tag myself id be whoever is running for their flight last minute #because that is always me

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icedflames · 4 years ago

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The Progression of Elain and Azriel’s Relationship.

Let me preface this by saying this is LONG.

After a second read through of ACOSF, I really think it’s clear that Elriel will be featured in the next book. Sooo, book by book, I’ve complied excerpts that show the progression of Elain and Azriel’s relationship and why I think the next book will feature them. I’m not going to be adding a lot of commentary, just my general interpretation of the scene. The excerpts speak for themselves.

A Court of Mist and Fury

Chapter 24 - Elain meets Azriel at the Archeron Estate

"A faint smile bloomed upon Azriel’s mouth as he noticed Elain’s fingers white-knuckled on that fork, but he kept silent...”

“Elain said, ‘It’s all very disorienting.’ ‘I can imagine,’ Azriel said. Cassian flashed him a glare. But Azriel’s attention was on my sister, a polite, bland smile on his face. Her shoulders loosened a bit.”

“Elain said to Azriel, perhaps the only two civilized ones here, ‘Can you truly fly?’ He set down his fork, blinking. I might have even called him self-conscious. He said, ‘Yes. Cassian and I hail from a race of faeries called Illyrians. We’re born hearing the song of the wind.’‘That’s very beautiful,’ she said. ‘Is it not—frightening, though? To fly so high?’ ‘It is sometimes,’ Azriel said.”

“Rhys chuckled, Cassian’s wrath slipping enough that he grinned, and Elain, noticing Azriel’s ease as proof that things weren’t indeed about to go badly, offered one of her own as well.”

At their first meeting, Azriel’s attention was on Elain and she labeled the idea of the Illyrian’s flight as beautiful. Feyre notes how Elain and Azriel are similar and says they are “perhaps the only two civilized ones.” Polite and kind.

Feyre notes that Elain’s shoulders loosened when Azriel offered her a polite smile and after noticing Azriel relax, she offers a grin. Azriel probably noticed Elain’s discomfort because of her fingers tightly grasping the fork and tried to put her at ease. In return, Elain felt relaxed based on Azriel’s cues even though they had just met.

Chapter 50 - Feyre distracts Rhys by talking about her sisters

“And I think Elain—Elain would like it, too. Though she’d probably cling to Azriel, just to have some peace and quiet. I smiled at the thought—at how handsome they would be together. If the warrior ever stopped quietly loving Mor. I doubted it. Azriel would likely love Mor until he was a whisper of darkness between the stars.”

Feyre again notes their similar temperaments - how they are both introverted and would appreciate each other’s company in silence. The second part, about Azriel loving Mor forever, now sticks out given what we know from A Court of Silver Flames. I’ll get to that later.

A Court of Wings and Ruin

So at this point, Elain and Nesta have been forcibly turned fae against their will. I didn’t include that portion because it’s more relevant to Elain’s self-journey, rather than her relationship with Azriel.

Chapter 24 - Nesta and Elain move to the townhouse

“Azriel arrived first, no shadows to be seen, my sister a pale, golden mass in his arms. He, too, wore his Illyrian armor, Elain’s golden-brown hair snagging in some of the black scales across his chest and shoulders. He set her down gently on the foyer carpet, having carried her in through the front door.

Elain peered up at his patient, solemn face. Azriel smiled faintly. ‘Would you like me to show you the garden?’ She seemed so small before him, so fragile compared to the scales of his fighting leathers, the breadth of his shoulders. The wings peeking over them. But Elain did not balk from him, did not shy away as she nodded—just once.

Azriel, graceful as any courtier, offered her an arm. I couldn’t tell if she was looking at his blue Siphon or at his scarred skin beneath as she breathed, ‘Beautiful.’

Color bloomed high on Azriel’s golden-brown cheeks, but he inclined his head in thanks and led my sister toward the back doors into the garden, sunlight bathing them.”

Elain is traumatized from her experience with the cauldron. She’s withdrawn, she’s quiet, and she’s scared. Azriel carries hers through the front door, rather than just setting her down outside. To make her more comfortable with the house, he offers to show her the garden. Feyre likely made mention of Elain loving flowers so this was a sweet gesture on Azriel’s part.

Most significantly, Elain (likely) called Azriel’s scarred skin beautiful - his trauma ingrained into his skin and the history of his abuse... She sees it and calls it beautiful. And Azriel blushes.

“But Lucien’s attention went right to the hallway toward the back, his nostrils flaring as he scented Elain’s direction. And who she’d gone with. A low snarl slipped out of him. ‘Relax,’ Rhys said. ‘Azriel isn’t the ravishing type.’ Lucien cut him a glare.”

Oh Rhys, Azriel definitely is.

I thought it was interesting. Yes, mates become possessive. But why include that? Why wouldn’t Lucien snarl when Elain was with Rhys or Cassian? Just a thought.

“Elain sat silently at one of the wrought-iron tables, a cup of tea before her. Azriel was sprawled on the chaise longue across the gray stones, sunning his wings and reading what looked to be a stack of reports—likely information on the Autumn Court that he planned to present to Rhys once he’d sorted through it all. Already dressed for the Hewn City—the brutal, beautiful armor so at odds with the lovely garden. And my sister sitting within it.”

I really love the juxtaposition of Azriel clad in black, sprawled in the gardens with Elain, so full of light, sitting there with them. It’s unlikely that the morally grey spymaster (who literally tortures people for his profession) and the sweet girl would have struck up a friendship. But there they were, in the garden, enjoying each other’s silent company. Exactly what Feyre predicted in A Court of Mist and Fury (“Elain would probably cling to Azriel, just to have some peace and quiet”).

“‘Why not make them mates?’ I mused. ‘Why Lucien?[...]What decides it? Who decides it?[...]You said your mother and father were wrong for each other; Tamlin said his own parents were wrong for each other.’ I peeled off my dressing robe. ‘So it can’t be a perfect system of matching. What if’—I jerked my chin toward the window, to my sister and the shadowsinger in the garden—“that is what she needs? Is there no free will? What if Lucien wishes the union but she doesn’t?’

‘A mating bond can be rejected,’ Rhys said mildly, eyes flickering in the mirror as he drank in every inch of bare skin I had on display. ‘There is choice. And sometimes, yes—the bond picks poorly sometimes the bond is nothing more than some...preordained guesswork at who will provide the strongest offspring. At its basest level, it’s perhaps only that.’”

The conversation between her and Rhys is very important. Up until this point, we’re led to believe mates are the end all be all. Mates are soulmates. Now, we have a scene directly suggesting that the mating system is flawed and a mating bond could be broken. And it’s Feyre talking about Elain and Lucien’s bond, using Azriel as an example as who Elain might choose over Lucien.

At this point, Elain and Azriel’s relationship starts to progress and they slowly start to become acquainted with each other.

Chapter 27 - Elain has a vision

“‘I saw young hands wither with age. I saw a box of black stone. I saw a feather of fire land on snow and melt it.’”

“Mad. Elain might very well have gone mad.”

So here, Elain spouts a vision and Feyre, Nesta, Mor, and Azriel are taken aback. Feyre remarks that her sister may be going mad. They don’t understand what’s going on with Elain and why she is espousing such creepy things.

“I faced Azriel, exposing my palms to him. ‘What does that mean?’ Azriel’s hazel eyes churned as he studied my sister, her too-thin body. And without a word, he winnowed away. Mor watched the space where he’d been standing long after he was gone.”

Azriel had an expression of concerned and then winnowed away without a word, leaving Mor gaping. Why? Why was she gaping and staring at the spot Azriel had been? Could it be that she sees something Feyre doesn’t?

Chapter 30 - Azriel and Cassian visit Elain and Nesta

“The two Illyrians paused their inspection of me long enough to note my sisters finishing up breakfast, Nesta in a pale gray gown that brought out the steel in her eyes, Elain in dusty pink. Both males went a bit still.”

We know that Nesta and Cassian are mates. Cassian stilled at the sight of Nesta. Azriel stilled at the sight of Elain. Hmm.

“I dragged a hand over my face before going to Elain and touching her too-bony shoulder. ‘Can I set you up in the garden? The herbs you planted are coming in nicely.’ ‘I can help her,’ said Azriel, stepping to the table as Elain silently rose. No shadows at his ear, no darkness ringing from his fingers as he extended a hand.”

Azriel stepped in and said he could help Elain get to the garden. A bit of a pattern. He wants to keep her company, and perhaps, wants to have her company. Even more significant are that his shadows are missing. We know that the shadows disappear around Mor, who he’d been pining over for 500 years. Now they’re gone around Elain. Maybe it’s just to make her more comfortable or maybe it’s because he’s developing an interest in her.

Chapter 32 - Azriel discovers Elain is a seer

“Elain’s brows twitched toward each other. ‘The queen—with the feathers of flame.’ The shadowsinger angled his head. Lucien murmured to me, eye still fixed on Elain, ‘Should we—does she need …?’”

‘She doesn’t need anything,’ Azriel answered without so much as looking at Lucien. Elain was staring at the spymaster now—unblinkingly.

‘We’re the ones who need …’ Azriel trailed off. ‘A seer,’ he said, more to himself than us. ‘The Cauldron made you a seer.’”

Azriel, as observant as he is, realized Elain wasn’t going mad. She was a seer.

Lucien thought she was going mad or she was ill. As did Feyre, Mor, Nesta and everybody else in the Night Court. This is mentioned in prior chapters when Lucien suggested to Feyre that Elain see a healer.

However, Azriel looked at Elain and figured it out. Which is important to Elain. When speaking to Lucien about Grayson, Elain said, “No one ever looked - not really...He did. He saw me. He will not now.” Azriel looked. Azriel saw her.

Chapter 50 - In the townhouse, winnowing to the Illyrian Camps

“Mor took Nesta and Cassian by the hand, readying to winnow them to the camp, while shadows gathered around Azriel, Elain at his side, wide-eyed at the spymaster’s display.”

Azriel’s shadows are gathered around him, likely in response to brewing war and because Feyre just made a deal with Bryaxis. Elain is staring wide-eyed. I don’t interpret this in fear but in awe.

“Then Azriel, gently taking Elain’s hand in his own, as if afraid his scars would hurt her.”

The gentleness Azriel exhibits towards Elain is just sweet.

Chapter 62 & 63 - Hyburn kidnaps Elain

“But Azriel asked softly, ‘What about Elain?’ Something cold went through me. Nesta was just staring at Azriel. Staring and staring.”

“From the shadows near the entrance to the tent, Azriel said, as if in answer to some unspoken debate, ‘I’m getting her back.’

Nesta slid her gaze to the shadowsinger. Azriel’s hazel eyes glowed golden in the shadows.

Nesta said, ‘Then you will die.’

Azriel only repeated, rage glazing that stare, ‘I’m getting her back.’”

Azriel is the first person to realize Elain is missing! Not Nesta, not Feyre, not Amren. Azriel.

His eyes glowed (an indication of powers at play), with rage in his stare. Azriel is angry, he’s upset, he will get Elain back. Nobody asked Azriel to rescue Elain. Nesta even told him he would die. But Azriel doesn’t care. He’s getting her back.

This really shows that perhaps their friendship developed further than Feyre realized and Azriel had formed a connection with Elain. A connection strong enough that he would risk dying to get her back.

Chapter 65 - Azriel and Feyre rescue Elain

“My mouth went dry as that scream sounded again. I couldn’t bear it—to let it go on, to see what was being done. Azriel’s shadow-hand grasped my own, tugging me closer. His rage rippled off his invisible form.”

Feyre and Azriel both thought it was Elain screaming in Hyburn’s camp. Rage was rippling off his invisible form. Azriel, stoic, brooding Azriel is so angry because he thinks Elain is being hurt that Feyre remarks on it.

“Azriel gently removed the gag from her mouth. ‘Are you hurt?’

She shook her head, devouring the sight of him as if not quite believing it. ‘You came for me.’

The shadowsinger only inclined his head.”

Again, Azriel is so gentle with Elain.

Elain devoured the sight of him. Elain didn’t believe Azriel would save her. But he did. “You came for me.”

“The gray light of morning had broken over the world, mist clinging to our ankles as we headed into that camp, Azriel still cradling Elain to his chest.”

“Nesta rounded a tent, skidding to a halt in the mud. She let out a sob at the sight of Elain, still in Azriel’s arms.”

“Rhys lunged for Azriel, taking Elain from him and gently setting my sister down. Azriel rasped, swaying on his feet, ‘We need Helion to get these chains off her.’ Yet Elain didn’t seem to notice them as she rose up on her toes and kissed the shadowsinger’s cheek.”

Azriel is wounded but he’s still cradling Elain to his chest. He doesn’t have to but he doesn’t let go. Almost like if he goes, she’ll disappear again. And then Elain kisses his cheek? Too cute.

Chapter 69 - Truthteller

“Azriel, still limping, merely nudged aside Cassian and extended another option. ‘This is Truth-Teller,’ he told her softly. ‘I won’t be using it today—so I want you to.’”

Azriel is still injured and was being stubborn in wanting to fight, despite Rhys telling him he couldn’t. Azriel didn’t relent until Mor begged him with tears in her eyes. Since he can’t fight, he’s offering Elain one of his knives...

“Elain’s eyes widened at the obsidian-hilted blade in Azriel’s scarred hand. The runes on the dark scabbard. ‘It has never failed me once,’ the shadowsinger said, the midday sun devoured by the dark blade. ‘Some people say it is magic and will always strike true.’ He gently took her hand and pressed the hilt of the legendary blade into it. ‘It will serve you well.’”

Again with the gentleness.

“Cassian gawked at Azriel, and I wondered how often Azriel had lent out that blade. Never, Rhys said from where he finished buckling on his own weapons against the side of the wagon. I have never once seen Azriel let another person touch that knife.

Elain looked up at Azriel, their eyes meeting, his hand still lingering on the hilt of the blade.

I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two. The only bridge of connection … that knife.”

So Azriel didn’t offer Elain just any knife. It’s Azriel’s most prized possession to the point where no other person, not even his brothers or Mor, had ever been allowed to touch it. Yet here he was lending it to Elain. His relationship and connection to Elain is strong enough and deep enough that he would give her his beloved dagger.

Here’s where it gets interesting. The lovely fawn standing before death. In ACOMAF chapter 57, the Book of Breathlings said (in pertinent part), “Rot and bloom and bones...Hello, fanged beast and trembling fawn.” I think the choice of words is intentional. Death and a fawn? Hmm.

Further, when Majda described the mating bond to Elain she said, “The mating bond. It is a bridge between souls.” Now Feyre says - the only bridge of connection is Truth-Teller. Why use the words describing a mating bond to describe that moment?

Chapter 74 - Elain Kills Hyburn

“Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the king’s neck as she snarled in his ear, ‘Don’t you touch my sister.’”

Elain, using Azriel’s dagger, stabbed Hyburn in the neck. The trembling fawn snarled in the king’s ear and killed him to protect Nesta.

Stepping out the shadow seems like a significant parallel. In Chapter 62, “Azriel stepped out of a shadow.” Azriel’s symbol is the shadow. Elain stepped from a shadow, Azriel’s symbol, and exhibited a display of strength, despite being traumatized for most of the book...

A Court of Frost and Starlight

Chapter 2 - Rhysand thinks about the War

“Cassian was near death and Nesta was sprawled over him, shielding him from that killing blow, and Elain—Elain—had taken up Azriel’s dagger and killed the King of Hybern instead.”

Elain, of all people, killed Hyburn with Azriel’s dagger and that imagine is important enough for Rhysand to think of it again.

Chapter 4 - Feyre asks Mor about Truth-Teller when gift shopping

“‘You honestly think he’d ever give up Truth-Teller?’

‘He gave it to Elain,’ Mor said, admiring a moonstone necklace in the counter’s glass case.

‘She gave it back,’ I amended, failing to block out the image of the black blade piercing through the King of Hybern’s throat. But Elain had given it back—had pressed it into Azriel’s hands after the battle, just as he had pressed it into hers before. And then walked away without looking back.”

Just as Azriel had pressed the knife into Elain’s hand, Elain pressed it into his when she finished. Gently.

Chapter 7 - Rhys and Azriel discuss gifts

“‘Az ran a hand through his dark hair. ‘Are we …’ Unusual for him to stumble with words. ‘Are we supposed to get the sisters presents?’

‘No,’ I said, and meant it. Az seemed to loose a sigh of relief. Seemed to, since all but a breath of air passed from his lips”

Interesting how Azriel is stumbling over his words when he asks if he needs to get Elain (and Nesta) a gift. What could be making him so nervous to give her a gift? A crush, maybe?

Chapter 12 - The Inner Circle has a Family Dinner

“Elain’s voice was colder than usual. I glanced at Nuala and Cerridwen, the latter giving me a shake of her head as if to say, Not a good day for her.”

Elain has befriended Azriel’s spies to the point where they tell Feyre, Elain’s sister, that it’s not a good day.

“‘Don’t,’ Elain said flatly, starting once more into a walk, veils of steam drifting past her shoulders from the roasted rosemary potatoes in her hands, as if they were Azriel’s shadows.”

Interesting choice of words.

“Azriel emerged from the sitting room, a glass of wine in hand and wings tucked back to reveal his fine, yet simple black jacket and pants. I felt, more than saw, my sister go still as he approached. Her throat bobbed.”

Handsome Azriel walks in and Elain goes still. Her throat bobs. Elain is totally crushing on Azriel.

“But I strode to my seat—nestled between Amren and Mor—in time to see Elain say to Azriel, ‘Hello.’ Az said nothing. No, he just moved toward her. Mor tensed beside me.”

Why would Mor tense up (again)?

“But Azriel only took Elain’s heavy dish of potatoes from her hands, his voice soft as night as he said, ‘Sit. I’ll take care of it.’ Elain’s hands remained in midair, as if the ghost of the dish remained between them. With a blink, she lowered them, and noticed her apron. ‘I—I’ll be right back,’ she murmured, and hurried down the hall before I could explain that no one cared if she showed up to dinner covered in flour and that she should just sit.”

Elain was so shocked that she kept her hands up and then ran off to make herself look presentable. She has it bad.

“One moment, his hand was spearing toward the serving spoon. The next, it was stopped, Azriel’s scarred fingers wrapped around his wrist. ‘Wait,’ Azriel said, nothing but command in his voice. Mor gaped wide enough that I was certain the half-chewed green beans in her mouth were going to tumble onto her plate.”

“Azriel didn’t let go. “Wait until everyone is seated before eating.”

Azriel telling Cassian to wait for Elain to come back before they started eating. How sweet! And again, Mor tenses, gapes, etc. because of Azriel and Elain. Why does she keep doing that? Is it because Azriel is maybe moving on? Is she jealous? Or is it something else?

“Elain swept in, apron gone and hair rebraided. ‘Please don’t wait on my account,’ she said, taking the seat at the head of the table.”

She got all fixed up. Aweee.

“‘I’d feel bad for the mice,’ Azriel muttered. Mor and Cassian howled, earning a blush from Azriel and a grateful smile from Elain—and no shortage of scowling from Amren. But something in me eased at that laughter, at the light that returned to Elain’s eyes.”

After Amren bluntly told Elain that there was no going back to being human and Elain was visibly upset, Azriel told a joke to lighten the mood. Elain shot a grateful smile and Feyre’s was so happy to see a light return to her sister’s eyes.

Chapter 16 - Rhys speaks to Cassian and Azriel

“Azriel strode to the lone window at the end of the room and peered into the garden below.”

Who could be in the garden Azriel?

Chapter 18 - Feyre and Elain talk about Lucien

“‘He brought you a present.’

Those doe-brown eyes turned toward me. Sharper than I’d ever seen them. ‘And that entitles him to my time, my affections?’

‘No.’ I blinked. ‘But he is a good male.’ Despite our harsh words. Despite this Band of Exiles bullshit. ‘He cares for you.’

‘He doesn’t know me.’

‘You don’t give him the chance to even try to do so.’

Her mouth tightened, the only sign of anger in her graceful countenance. ‘I don’t want a mate. I don’t want a male.’

Elain is mad. She doesn’t want a mate or a male. Yet some bond is forcing him on her. She doesn’t want Lucien. A gift isn’t enough to win her over.

More importantly - he doesn’t know her.

Chapter 19 - Winter Solstice

“I made to move toward [Elain], but someone beat me to it. The shadowsinger was clad in a black jacket and pants similar to Rhysand’s—the fabric immaculately tailored and built to fit his wings. He still wore his Siphons atop either hand, and shadows trailed his footsteps, curling like swirled embers, but there was little sign of the warrior otherwise. Especially as he gently said to my sister, “Happy Solstice.” Elain turned from the snow falling in the darkness beyond and smiled slightly.”

Azriel immediately made a move towards Elain to wish her a happy solstice. Again with the gentleness.

“Watching Cassian especially, now standing with Az at the fire. He was the portrait of relaxed, an arm braced against the carved mantel, his wings tucked in loosely, a faint grin on his face and a glass of wine in his hand. He slid his hazel eyes toward my sister without him moving an inch.”

Azriel stealing glances at Elain.

“‘Oh, that’s from me.’

Azriel’s face didn’t so much as shift at the words. Not even a smile as he opened the present and revealed -

‘I had Madja make it for me,’ Elain explained. Azriel’s brows narrowed at the mention of the family’s preferred healer. ‘It’s a powder to mix in with any drink.’

Silence.

Elain bit her lip and then smiled sheepishly. ‘It’s for the headaches everyone always gives you. Since you rub your temples so often.’

Silence again.

Then Azriel tipped his head back and laughed. I’d never heard such a sound, deep and joyous.”

Elain give Azriel a sweet, thoughtful, and funny gift that made Azriel laugh so deep and joyously. That rarely happens with him.

“Azriel mastered himself enough to say, ‘Thank you.’ I’d never seen his hazel eyes so bright, the hues of green amid the brown and gray like veins of emerald. ‘This will be invaluable.’”

Feyre had never seen Azriel’s eyes so bright. Ahhhh.

They’re most definitely friends by this point, with the other chapters hinting that the two are crushing on each other.

Chapter 22 - After the gift giving

“Azriel and Elain remained in the sitting room, my sister showing him the plans she’d sketched to expand the garden in the back of the town house, using the seeds and tools my family had given her tonight. Whether he cared about such things, I had no idea.”

Elain and Azriel stay behind, late at night talking about gardening. Even if it’s not of interest to Azriel, he wanted to be with her. So sweet!

A Court of Silver Flames

Chapter 3 - Cassian tells Nesta that Azriel will be staying with them

“Cassian said tightly, ‘He says he’d rather stay up here than at the river house.’ That made two of them. ‘Why?’

‘I don’t know. He’s Az. He likes his space.’”

Alright so let me start by saying Cassian isn’t as observant. And the readers have more insight. Who stays at the river house? Elain. Why would he want to stay at the house of wind? To avoid her. Why would he want to avoid Elain? Probably because he’s developing feelings for her.

Chapter 19 - Cassian tells Azriel about Elain and Nesta’s fight

“‘Because of the shit with Elain?’

Azriel stilled. ‘What happened to Elain?’

Azriel stilled at the thought of something happening to Elain. Honestly, enough said.

Chapter 21 - Nesta insults Elain

“‘Maybe you’ll become interesting at last, Elain.’

Nesta saw the blow land, like a physical impact, in Elain’s face, her posture. No one spoke, though shadows gathered in the corners of the room, like snakes preparing to strike. Elain’s eyes brightened with pain.”

Azriel’s shadows were prepared to attack in defense of Elain. Sounds like somebody has feelings for Elain...

Chapter 22 - Azriel and Cassian discuss having children

“Cassian looked over at Az. ‘You think you’ll ever be ready for one?’ Ever be ready to confess to Mor what’s in your heart?

‘I don’t know,’ Azriel said.

‘Do you want a child?’

‘It doesn’t matter what I want.’ Distant words—ones that prevented Cassian from prying further.”

So Cassian still thinks Azriel is head over heels in love with Mor. And Azriel responds with distant words, saying it doesn’t matter what he wants. Could what he wants be Elain? The seer whose mate happens to be the son of a high lord?

He could understandably be hurt over that.

“He was still happy to be Mor’s buffer with Azriel, but there’d been a change lately. In both of them. Mor no longer sat beside Cassian, draped herself over him, and Azriel … those longing glances toward her had become few and far between. As if he’d given up. After five hundred years, he’d somehow given up. Cassian couldn’t think why.”

Azriel rarely looks at Mor. There’s been a change. And Cassian has no idea why, after 500 years, Azriel has finally given up.

Elain. Elain is the reason.

Chapter 29 - Amren suggests Elain should look for the trove

“Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, ‘There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.’”

Azriel doesn’t want Elain to be exposed to that darkness. He’s acting protective over her. Like he really cares for her.

Chapter 30 - Azriel and Cassian discuss Feyre’s pregnancy

“‘No. But we need to summon Lucien,’ Azriel said, just a shade tightly, as if he didn’t like it one bit.”

Why wouldn’t Azriel want to summon Lucien? Perhaps he doesn’t want anything to develop between Lucien and his mate, Elain?

He’s jealous.

Chapter 44 - Elain tells the story of how Nesta stole a Duke’s heart

“‘She made ballrooms into battlefields and plotted like any general. Like you two,’ she said, nodding to Cassian, and then, a bit more shyly, to Azriel. Azriel offered her a small smile that Elain quickly looked away from.”

Elain is shy around Azriel, and quickly looks away from his smile. Sounds like a crush.

Chapter 58 - Winter Solstice

“You came,” Elain said behind her, and Nesta started, not having heard her sister approach. She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends.”

Elain is stealthy, quiet. So much so that Nesta remarks that Azriel or his spies himself may be giving her lessons.

“Azriel stood in the doorway, monitoring them. As if he’d heard Elain’s sharp laugh and wondered what had caused it.

‘I was just checking on dessert,’ Elain explained as they approached the doorway and Azriel. Nesta met the shadowsinger’s stare and he gave her a nod. Then his gaze shifted to Elain, and though it was utterly neutral, something charged went through it. Between them. Elain’s breath caught slightly, and she gave him a shallow nod of greeting before brushing past...”

Azriel heard Elain’s laugh and wanted to see what caused it.

They looked at each other and Elain’s breath caught - something charged in that gaze. It’s obvious now that the two have developed feelings for one another.

“‘Why don’t you sit?’ [Nesta] leaned against the doorway beside the shadowsinger. ‘My shadows don’t like the flames so much.’ A pretty lie. She’d seen Azriel before the fire plenty. But she looked at who sat close to it and knew the answer.

‘Why did you come if it torments you so much?’

‘Because Rhys wants me here. It’d hurt him if I didn’t come.’”

“Shadows darkened his eyes, full of enough pain that she couldn’t stop herself from touching his shoulder. Letting him see that she understood why he stood in the doorway, why he wouldn’t go near the fire.

His secret to tell, never hers.”

Elain and Lucien are by the fire. Nesta quickly picks up on the fact that it torments Azriel to see it. She understands why. She sees the pain in his eyes. Azriel is likely in love or close to in love with Elain and seeing her with a mate pains him. Knowing that he’s not her mate pains him.

Chapter 59 - Post Solstice

“He’d been replaced in training by a stone-faced Azriel, who was more aloof than usual and wouldn’t even give her a smile.”

What happened to put Azriel in such a bad mood?

Azriel Bonus Chapter

This is where Elain and Azriel’s feelings towards each other are confirmed.

This occurs on Winter Solstice - which explains why Azriel acted the way he did and why he “more aloof than usual.”

I’m not going to go into the Gwyn part of the chapter because, in my opinion, it’s not relevant to Azriel and Elain’s relationship.

“Too many razor-sharp thoughts sliced him any time he grew still long enough for them to strike. Too many wants and needs left his skin overheated and pulling taut across his bones.”

Azriel isn’t sleeping because of his desires...

“He was elated for his brother and yet... Azriel couldn’t stop it. The envy in his chest. Of Cassian, and Rhys.”

Azriel is jealous of Cassian and Rhys. Of their mating bonds and their connections.

“The faelights gilded Elain's unbound hair, making her glow like the sun at dawn.

She halted, her breath catching in her throat. ‘I...’ He watched her swallow. She clutched a small gift in her hands. "I was coming to leave this on your pile of presents. I forgot to give it to you earlier.

Lie. Well, the second part was a lie. He didn’t need his shadows to read her tone, the slight tightening of her face.”

Elain’s breath catches when she spots Azriel.

Azriel knows Elain well enough that he can tell when she’s lying.

“Elain closed the distance, and her breathing quickened as she again paused, now a scant foot away. She extended the wrapped gift, her hand shaking. ‘Here.’

Az tried not to look at his scarred fingers as they took the gift. She hadn't bought her mate a present.

But she'd gotten Azriel one last year-a headache powder he kept on his nightstand at the House of Wind. Not to use, but just to look at. Which he'd done every night he’d slept there. Or attempted to sleep there.”

Elain is so nervous to give Azriel his gift!

Azriel looked at the gift she gave him last year every night... They both have it bad for each other.

I won’t bother to quote it, but Elain gifts Azriel another thoughtful gift - ear plugs to drown out Cassian and Nesta.

“He left the rest unspoken. Because her mate had been in the family room and Azriel had needed to stay by the door the whole time because he couldn't stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, and needed to have the option of leaving if it became too much.”

This is what Nesta observed and understood. Azriel was so tormented by Elain having a mate that he couldn’t go near her.

“Elain's large brown eyes flickered, well aware of all that. Just as he knew she was well aware of why Azriel so rarely came to family dinners these days.”

Understanding between the two of them. Like she knew he liked her but they wouldn’t act on it. Why though?

“Elain sucked in a soft breath that whispered over his skin. His shadows skittered back at the sound. They'd always been prone to vanish when she was around.”

Azriel’s shadows always vanished around Mor, the woman he loved for 500 years. Now they do the same around Elain.

“His head went quiet. But he took the necklace, opening the clasp as she exposed her back, sweeping her hair up in one hand to bare her long, creamy neck.

“He knew it was wrong, but there he was, sliding the necklace around her. Letting his scarred fingers touch her immaculate skin. Letting them brush the side of her throat, savoring the velvet-soft texture. Elain shivered, and he took a damn long time fastening the clasp.”

This confirms that there is sexual attraction and romantic feelings between the Elain and Azriel. She shivered. He savored the texture of her skin.

18+ below!!!

“It had never gone this far. They'd exchanged looks, the occasional brush of their fingers, but never this. Never blatant, unrestricted touching. Wrong - it was so wrong. He didn't care.

He needed to know what the skin of her neck tasted like. What those perfect lips tasted like. Her breasts. Her sex. He needed her coming on his tongue.

Azriel's cock strained behind his pants, aching so fiercely he could hardly think. He prayed she didn't peer down. Prayed she didn't under stand the shift in his scent.”

Azriel is so turned on. He needs Elain. Yet, the touching is wrong to him. Wrong because perhaps he doesn’t feel like he’s enough for her.

“He had only allowed himself these thoughts in the dead of night. Had only allowed his hand to fist his cock and think about her then, when even his shadows had gone to sleep. How that beautiful face might appear as he entered her, what sounds she'd make.”

Azriel thinks of Elain at night and pleasures himself to him.

“‘I should go,’ Elain said, but made no move to leave. ‘Yes,’ he said, his thumb sweeping in long strokes along the side of her throat. Her arousal drifted up to him, and his eyes nearly rolled back in his head at the sweet scent. He’d beg on his knees for a chance to taste it.”

Eyes rolling, beg on his knees... Sounds a lot like how Rhys and Cassian react to Feyre and Nesta.

“So close one deep breath would brush her breasts against his chest. She looked up at him, her face so trusting and hopeful and open that he knew she had no idea that he had done unspeakable things that sullied his hands far beyond his scars. Such terrible things that it was sacrilege for his fingers to touch her skin, tainting her with his presence.”

That’s why he keeps making self-deprecating comments - he doesn’t feel worthy that somebody like him (a man who tortures for his job) would touch her.

“Azriel’s hand slip up her neck, burying in her thick hair. Tilting her face the way he wanted it. Elain's mouth parted slightly, her eyes scanning his before fluttering shut. Offer and permission. He nearly groaned with relief and need as he lowered his head toward hers.”

Elain and Azriel are about to kiss! That is, until Rhysand commands him to stop.

“His stomach twisted as he pulled his hand from her hair and stepped back. Forced himself to say, ‘This was a mistake.’ She opened her eyes, hurt and confusion warring there before she whispered, ‘I’m sorry.’

‘You don't- don't apologize, he managed to say. ‘Never apologize. It's I who should...’ He shook his head, unable to stand the bleakness he’d brought to her expression. ‘Goodnight.’”

So Rhysand stops the almost kiss and now Elain feels rejected. Azriel is devastated for having to stop and see the hurt he inflicted.

“Rhys's power rippled through the room like a dark cloud. ‘I’m talking about you, about to kiss Elain, in the middle of a hall where anyone could see you,’ he snarled. ‘Including her mate.’

Rhys is angry in this scene that Azriel may risk starting a feud between courts - the autumn court where Lucien is from (yes, Helion is his father but as of now, Beron believes himself to be Lucien’s father).

“‘What if the Cauldron was wrong?...The Cauldron chose three sisters. Tell me how it’s possible that my two brothers are with two of those sisters yet the third was given to another.’ He had never before dared speak the words aloud.

Azriel questions the Cauldron. Why were my brothers chosen? Why wasn’t I chosen? Why am I never chosen? Why can’t I just be with the person I want to be with?

Azriel isn’t saying he deserves her or not. He’s questioning fate.

He’s upset. He’s angry. He’s lonely. He’s heartbroken.

“Azriel said nothing. He hadn't gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to. Rhys growled, ‘Allow me to make one thing very clear. You are to stay away from her.’

‘You can't order me to do that.’”

Azriel doesn’t want to listen to Rhysand. Azriel made his feelings clear - he can’t be ordered to stay away from Elain because of his feelings for her.

Then, Rhys again mentions the Blood Duel. That Lucien could invoke it should Elain and Azriel pursue something.

“Rhys bared his teeth. ‘So you will leave Elain alone. If you need to fuck someone, go to a pleasure hall and pay for it, but stay away from her.’”

Azriel snarled softly.

His snarl indicates there is way more than just lust between Elain and Azriel.

So that’s it.

Azriel and Elain went from acquaintances, to friends, to crushes, to almost lovers and the bonus point of view makes it clear that they have both romantic and sexual feelings towards each other.

It set up the theme for the next book - a forbidden love story where Elain and Azriel must overcome fate itself to be with each other.

#I didn't mean to make it this long #I had sooo many things highlighted I didn't even realize #elriel #elain #elain archeron #azriel #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acosaf #acosf #acotar theory #mine

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eponymous-rose · 4 years ago

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E121 (Jan. 19, 2021)

Aaaand we're back! The epic pet montage at the start is still the greatest thing ever.

Tonight's guests? Matthew Mercer and Marisha Ray!

We begin with an extensive discussion of waffle farts. As you do.

Matt is asked what it's been like to get to build out the characters in the Tombtakers. Lucien is Matt's favorite, but they've all got some fun traits to them. "It's one of those rare experiences as a dungeon master where you get to watch your players combat with the necessity of playing along. The instinct is: fuck these guys, I want to fight them, we'll take their shit... or I guess we have to play nice. And they begrudgingly grit their teeth and I smile internally."

On the Lucien accent: "You guys are all so mean to Taliesin!" Matt knew his own take would be a "weird mutation" of Mollymauk's accent anyway.

How's Marisha feeling about a lot of her predictions panning out? "Aw, I mean, gee, me? What? Noooo. It's definitely vindicating, I'm not gonna lie, and rewarding, but I also know that I write a lot of shit down in that notebook that's never relevant ever again. It's definitely a good feeling to know that I didn't go on that fifteen-minute deep dive and was utterly wrong about everything I said." Matt: "I was super proud. I was just silently cheering you on as you went on these long tangents."

What does Lucien think of the Mighty Nein? "Lucien is definitely curious about why they're getting involved in his shit and what they're planning alongside them. One, he hates Beau because he doesn't like people who challenge his authority. He gravitates towards Jester to an extent because she's the most open, which from his standpoint makes her easiest to manipulate. He loves toying with curiosity, and so between Jester and Caleb, those are the two people that he's the most comfortable interacting with. Caduceus makes him feel a little weird. He's amused by them. Fjord to Lucien is one of the more guarded and less accessible at the moment."

Is Beau enjoying getting under Lucien's skin? "Beau's picking and poking still kind of stems from her defensiveness and guardedness and her feelings, in a lot of ways, and the way that she's coping with things. It's a few steps removed from her default and what she often resorts to when she starts throwing up those barriers. She still has in the back of her head that she's looking at her dead friend. It's her way of protecting herself if she can go, fuck you, I don't care about you. This isn't too dissimilar to the way she reacted when Yasha was brainwashed." Matt: "It's a unique social sparring match the whole time they're traveling side-by-side. It's unique to have an antagonistic force that you're--" Marisha: "That we're going camping with."

Navigating the Tombtaker/M9 relationship as a DM is "challenging. At any given moment, a wrong statement could escalate matters one way or the other. It's having to pay attention to a lot of things at all points in time to be ready for how those chain reactions can happen and where it might go." He likens it to trying to follow and participate in two different conversations simultaneously at a party.

On the note from Yasha: "Oh man, you guys. Oh, it was so sweet. I don't think Beau was expecting Yasha to be so forthcoming with everything, and so complimentary and eloquent. Beau is awkward with healthy relationships, so she doesn't know how to handle them. She's still processing that and wants to not ruin it. No, it was magical." Ashley told Marisha after the episode that she was trying to think of what to say and wound up basing it on what she would say about Marisha.

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Vax (by stormfeather_cosplay, photograph by travi_b, both on Instagram)!

On using variations on the Wild Magic table: "I wanted to give it some variation to consequences. They took some of the tooth out of it from earlier editions. I knew it would be fun once I gave them the specifications of when these things would happen - players are just waiting for someone to roll a 20 or a 1 at all times."

Why is it so important to Beau that she and Yasha have a proper date? Part of it is a fresh start. "So much of Beau's past relationships have been rooted in some toxic behavior. Beau feels like, well, maybe we should just start from the beginning in the most us way possible: fighting through the tundra with our dead-ish friend."

The sci-fi-ish theme came toward the end of developing Aeor, but it mostly comes from rationalization. Matt is intrigued by how all these different societies want to usurp the gods... which has parallels with modern society. He notes that focusing more on the science of the magic means the aesthetics pull away to "instead facilitate the utility or the most direct route to the answers you want. You streamline as opposed to focusing on the aesthetics."

Beau’s reaction to all the weird magic stuff? “I think Beau’s just so focused on the pragmatic aspects of it all right now. There are greedy people with motives and the will and want to corrupt across all spans of cultures and times. She’s trying not to get lost in the magic, both proverbially and literally, of it all, and just trying to focus on the motives of these people at hand.”

In some ways, Matt was surprised by Caduceus’ strong reaction to the creepy woods. “It was the first major reveal that there are some other sides to the coin that he hadn’t learned about. I had no idea how he would react. It pushed him away more in ways than I expected.”

Fan art of the week: an amazing Lucien! (by oratorkayla on Twitter)

What’s Dagen’s motivation? “He’s definitely a man of his word when it comes to fulfilling a contract and getting the other half of his pay, but it’s not hard to see they’ve grown on him a little bit. He’s really good at getting around the tundra unseen and unnoticed.”

Brian: “In true Sam fashion-” Marisha, instantly: “OH MY GOD.”

Marisha: “Here’s the thing. Here’s the tea, okay? If I ever hear one more fucking person trying to claim that I’m ruining things by metagaming, I’m going to point to Sam. I’m expected to respond accordingly to Veth being a Sam troll. Gods damn him! Raven Queen curse upon him! Let chaos reign! He made me pull out my earphones, I can’t hear anything you’re saying. It’s frustrating because I’d be mad at it if it wasn’t so god damn funny.” Matt notes that at a different table this wouldn’t be great behavior, but they all know each other well enough (and check in with each other enough) that it’s comfortable teasing.

With a bit of a deeper pull, Matt is asked whether he knew Avantika would return someday? “I knew she was a fun, interesting option out there. The M9 still have in their grasp the single most important artifact, in Uk’otoa’s opinion, at the moment. As long as they carry that artifact, his eye of Sauron is upon them.” Matt notes that he has more encounter tables going, so a lot of the time even he’s not sure what’s going to happen.

Caduceus suggested contacting Essek, but Beau and Caleb nixed that idea. Does Beau trust him? “Gods no. Absolutely not. She can like Essek personally. As a person, he’s fine, I guess. But I think a lot of people might be forgetting that he’s kind of a war criminal and kind of set off a lot of bad things in motion with this war with the Empire and the Dynasty, because he wanted power and to know things. So now here he is, also in Aeor. Yeah. Just kinda putting two and two together there. It is another one of those things of, you’re walking that line on trying to keep him on your good side and having a mutually beneficial relationship before it could easily go completely south.”

On the Star Razor being a Vestige: “I don’t want this to be--- the Vestiges aren’t always a thing where it’s like, you get a Vestige and you get a Vestige! I want them to be still considered special and rare. This is one that had to be earned, it had to be reforged. I didn’t know the circumstances that would involve it coming about.” He based it on the circumstances of Fjord’s evolution into a paladin. “In essence, not only did he finish the creation of the sword, but he Awakened it at the same time as he made this transition. It is Exalted at this point, it’s in its final form.”

What does Beau think might lie ahead? “I have no idea. I am trying to abandon expectation when it comes to that. I know what we don’t know, and that’s it. Beau is trying to compensate for the known unknowns and the unknown unknowns. I hope we can keep this tenuous relationship through to Aeor, because we need more answers before it explodes in our face. Beau, and Marisha, is hoping for a little more information before shit hits the fan.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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dirty-bosmer · 2 years ago

Note

I bet this is totally unexpected, but here are some uncommon OC questions :D just do them for whoever you want to ^_^

8.What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

22. How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

27. What causes them to feel dread?

36. Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

41. How do they feel about children?

And also

A) Why are you excited about this character?

B) What inspired you to create them?

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

H) What trait do you admire most?

Oh my god, I answered these and tumblr glitched out on me not once but TWICE as I was reading them back. Last time it happened, I just about yeeted my computer into the wall and had to step away for a LOOOONG while before I even attempted it again. Bye-bye all my original words.

But glitches aside, these questions were very fun to entertain. Thank you for asking 🥰

I'll answer these ones for Syl.

A) Why are you excited about this character? The necromancy mostly heehee. I am sooo excited to explore some more magical head-canons. I feel like I barely skimmed the surface of the lore while playing Oblivion, and I’m an anatomist so dead things and what we can learn by probing at them has always intrigued me 🤷‍♀️. I also thought it would be a fun challenge to write a character with personality traits that are opposite those of my last OC. Where Nim was awkward, introverted, and uncouth, Syl is confident (like unabashedly so 😩), outgoing, and sophisticated, yet she still fails miserably to fit in. I think it will be fun to explore similar themes of identity, purpose, and morality with characters who view the world through very different lenses.

B) What inspired you to create them? Well, I naturally gravitate toward scholars in fantasy worlds where we have not only 🧪 science but also 🪄 magic. I wanted Syl to fall outside my comfort zone— I’ve never played a conjurer or necromancer before, and I’m also not intending to give her any combat skills at the start of her story. I’m thinking some fish out of water vibes, maybe? TBD...

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you? Yeah, I would think she was cool lol. Most my friends are also eccentric nerds, so I think we’d vibe. Also she's far more stylish than I ever intend to be, so it would be nice to borrow her clothes. I think Syl would be absolutely thrilled at the prospect of having any other friend beside her brother 🥲

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most? Syl’s lack of self awareness borders on pathological. This girl cannot comprehend why others find it creepy that she’s hauling around carcasses and stitching them back together for fun. She has a hard time understanding that not everyone values what she values and vice versa and often times her “experiments” have disastrous consequences. You can see why this may come off as deeply inconsiderate and self-centered :)

H) What trait do you admire most? Her passion. Her drive. Syl lives and breathes for her projects, while here I am procrastinating on my dissertation 😂

And these ones I’ll answer for Nim

8.What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child Nim just wanted to run around, chase bugs, and look at flowers all day, but when you’re a castle maid, you are unfortunately not permitted to do that 😔

10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them? All the times she lied to Raminus about where she was while working for the Dark Brotherhood, especially as Lucien’s Silencer. It still makes her feel violently ill.

22. How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? The initial sting of it would be met with much denial, then she’d grumble silently, then she’d wallow in it and be a sad girl for a couple days.

27. What causes them to feel dread? The thought of failing her loved ones.

36. Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap? A bit of both. She doesn’t go out of her way to look for it, but if she meets someone she likes, she’d pursue them and make a move. I doesn’t tend to go particularly well.

41. How do they feel about children? So terrified of them lol. See the answer to question 27 but amplified ten fold. She's thought about it before, but always reaches the conclusion that it's too much responsibility and she's

#asks #ask game #OC: Nimileth #OC: Sylawen

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bookofmirth · 3 years ago

Note

This kind of discussion that the other side of the fandom has about Lucien they also have about Azriel?

Because the arguments they use and talk about what Lucien is doing, Azriel spent 500 years doing with Mor and it was even Azriel who objectified Elain, even Rhys lost the color of his face when he heard his thoughts, but they see it as love.

Hypocrites.

So honestly, I think the thing that is the most telling in this whole entire discussion, is the failure to see that Azriel is being painted in the exact same (problematic) light as Lucien is. By sjm.

I'm going to go into a deep dive on this okay, because I've frankly been surprised that no one has (to me, at least) brought up the idea of Azriel's portrayal in the book being way worse than Lucien's, and so them both being POC, Azriel being more markedly so, should be a similar problem. Talking about either of them being angry or threatening to either Mor or Elain should be the same problem, right?

Wrong.

This is going to be super long. Under the cut explanation of why the fandom describing Azriel as angry is not at all the same issue as saying that Lucien won’t leave Elain alone, and how while Azriel’s characterization is fucked up on sjm’s part, the fandom’s interpretation of Lucien is fucked up and that’s on the people who insist on reading him a certain way.

ACOWAR, tbh, fucked up Azriel’s characterization. I’m going to call a spade a spade. When he lost his temper at the High Lord meeting and left Mor cowering in fear, everything shifted. Suddenly his attentions weren’t caring, they were creepy. It became way less about his feelings for Mor, and more about his emotional baggage that causes him to have this rage and disregard its impact on the people he loves.

The thing is, all of these arguments about Elain not being able to stand Lucien’s presence, or him pushing himself on her, or whatever extreme interpretation people choose to make, those behaviors are actually explicit with Azriel. I’m only going to use 1-2 quotes as examples of these behaviors, but there are more. We know that:

Azriel has been in love with - obsessed with, has some sort of feelings for - Mor for 500 years.

Mor does not reciprocate these feelings.

Azriel experiences rage and anger frequently, and towards the people he should be closest to:

“There was an icy rage in Azriel I have never been able to thaw.” (acomaf)

“Az had a vicious competitive streak. It wasn’t boastful and arrogant, the way that Cassian knew he himself was prone to be, or possessive and terrifying like Amren’s. No, it was quiet and cruel, and utterly lethal.” (acosf)

This rage causes Rhys, Mor, and Cassian all to handle Azriel with kid gloves because they know he can explode at any moment:

She had not mentioned it these past few days in Velaris. Had wanted to make this choice on her own, and had understood how the news might cast a shadow over the merriment.

She knew Azriel would say no, would want her safe. As he had always done. Cassian would have said yes, Amren with him, and Feyre would have worried but agreed. Az would have been pissed, and withdrawn even further into himself.

She hadn’t wanted to take his joy away from him. Any more than she already did. (acowar)

Azriel tries his best to keep Mor from exercising her agency:

“We could try again,” Mor said. “Let me speak to them, let me go to their palace-”

“No,” Azriel said. Mor raised her brows, and a faint color stained Azriel’s tan face. But his features were set, his hazel eyes solid. “You’re not setting foot in that human realm.”

“I fought in the war, you could do well to remember-”

“No,” Azriel said again, refusing to break her stare. His shifting wings rasped against the back of his chair. “They would string you up and make an example out of you.” (acomaf)

And that leads us to situations like these, when his rage and anger do finally get the best of him:

The frozen rage there rooted me to the spot. But beneath it, I could almost see the images that haunted him: the hand Mor had yanked away, her weeping, distraught face as she had screamed at Rhys. And now, behind us, Mor was shaking in her chair. Pale and shaking." (acowar)

“I want to confirm that Briallyn has the Crown,” Azriel said. “I’ll travel to the human lands tomorrow.”

“No,” Feyre and Rhys said at the same time, in the same breath.

Azriel’s eye shuttered. “I wasn’t asking for permission.”

Rhys smirked. “Doesn’t matter.”

Az opened his mouth to object, but Feyre said, “You’re not going, Azriel. If Briallyn has the Crown and catches you, even if she just suspects you’re nearby, who knows what she could do to you?”

“Give me some credit, Feyre,” Az said. “I can keep hidden well enough.”

“We take no risks,” Feyre said, voice flat with command. “Pull all your spies out.”

“Like hell I will.” (acosf)

(later in acosf)

The High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court had faced off against the shadowsinger this afternoon, and emerged triumphant.

Perhaps triumphant wasn’t the right word, but the argument had ended with Azriel grudgingly agreeing not to spy on Briallyn for the time being - and brooding all through dinner.

Okay, so why did I share these examples? Because Azriel’s anger problem is explicit, it is canon, and that anger can and will be aimed at the people he loves. I could have kept going with the examples, but you get the picture.

Now, the portrayal of a man of color as threatening, especially against a white woman, is racist. That’s just a fact. Saying that Lucien is threatening to Elain has the exact same impact as saying that Azriel is threatening to Mor.

So why aren’t people coming at me for making the statement that Azriel displays red flags? (At least not publicly lol.) I suspect it’s because either 1) people don’t understand the full scope of the argument in the first place and so couldn’t recognize it elsewhere, or because they recognize that....

Sarah Janet Maas explicitly created Azriel to be a rage-y, angry man of color who stomps all over Mor’s autonomy and makes her cower in fear, and argues with the people he is supposed to respect just because... why? Well that’s a different issue, really, but the “why” doesn’t actually matter. The impact of his actions does matter. And his portrayal, combined with the very racist descriptions of the Illyrians, creates a problematic af situation. And to repeat, it is SJM who created this situation.

The fandom is the one saying that Lucien is a threatening POC. It is not canon. It is an intentional choice on the part of some readers to read him this way. They don’t have to read him this way, they choose to. They choose to participate in the narrative that men of color are a threat to white women. Intentionally? I doubt it. That’s why I and others have been trying to explain it, though.

Does SJM even realize what she has created in portraying Az as an angry POC, and by making it unclear why Elain is standoffish around Lucien? I doubt it. But that’s a her problem, not an us problem.

I do understand the instinct to read Lucien in that same overbearing, problematic way because we already have the explicit blueprint in Azriel. That’s already a thing in this world. But there is no evidence for Lucien being that way, and when people settle on that one interpretation amongst many other interpretations, then people are valid to critique the one that leans into the racism instead of away.

We cannot change the way these books were written. We can critique the fuck out of them, and refuse to perpetuate racist, ableist, or homophobic shit.

SJM created this mess, but we don’t have to roll around in it. We can definitely do better.

#acotar fandom #ask #anon

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loquaciousquark · 4 years ago

Text

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E116-119 (Dec. 15, 2020)

Hi! I missed the first three minutes or so and opened the stream to Brian giving an absolutely incoherent ...ad? for some jewel game? Six thousand jewels just for logging in? Some app in the app store and he’s literally been talking about this now for six minutes and I don’t know what he’s talking about. He finally wraps up, Laura brings the show to a close, and we’re all a little worse than we were before.

Ashley tries to get us back on track and Henry bays over her. Brian tries to ask the first question and breaks off into feigned sobs halfway through. This is chaos incarnate.

Tonight’s guests: Laura Bailey & Ashley Johnson.

How’s Yasha feeling right now about Molly? She and Jester both are desperately curious about whether there’s a spark of Molly left in Lucien that can be brought back. It’s not the same as when Yasha was controlled by Obann; this seems more like just the way this is now. They’d settle for even finding the good in him, like they did with Essek. Brian jokes that they can monitor his mental state if Matt’s Irish accent starts to slip a little bit.

Jester is a little wary about scrying on Lucien now since he’s able to see her back. She’s interested to try again now that Fjord’s given her the necklace.

Ashley has to run and grab a replacement set of headphones from Brian after hers get “crunchy.” It’s pretty cute seeing them run around and smooch on another screen. Brian teases that he doesn’t have any more questions for Jester since Caduceus has been doing all the healing lately. Laura tells us indignantly that she had Heal prepared for Caduceus in that last big fight, but Fjord got to Cad first. Brian explains how this is the same as all the good jokes he always lines up for Talks but never tells. Ashley’s crunchiness continues and we go briefly to a technical difficulties screen while Brian hops up to fix it.

Dani pips in to get this show back on track. Save us, Dani!

Ashley hadn’t thought about the aspect of Lucien controlling his friends’ minds, but finds it really creepy. It’s a cool game dynamic, and it’s a little different because they’re there willingly, but it’s really weird.

Jester thinks that “the tarot cards know all. She wants to buy into it real hard.” If it doesn’t make sense now, it will later. Laura has an Idiot’s Guide to Tarot Reading.

They’re super interested in why Aeor is like it is. Were they more advanced than us? Did they evolve along a different line? Ashley loves sci-fi and is all about this, especially since she wasn’t there for Happy Fun Ball time & hasn’t been able to get caught up on some of the things she missed in between, so she’s using this as an erstwhile replacement. She can already tell there are some things from this campaign that will bother her the way the unopened box did from C1. She and Laura both seethe at the camera about having to leave the spider behind.

Cosplay of the Week! Harland3r on instagram with a gorgeous winged Pike with a shield & mace. It’s an incredible photo and the wings look great.

Travis distracts Laura by dancing like a Trex offscreen. That seems right for this episode.

Jester’s encouragement of Yasha pursuing Beau was important in a lot of ways, not least because Ashley considered herself as uninterested in D&D romance as Travis & was a little unsure of activating a romance among her friends. However, it felt really natural within the game and it was really helpful to have Jester’s in-game encouragement. Yasha’s grown a lot and is in a much more positive place and is ready to find out what’s possible. Laura: “Jester from the get-go has seen Yasha as this wonderful soul from the beginning, and has seen how sad Yasha’s been through everything, and to see the difference that she exhibits when talking about Beau is drastic and wonderful. Jester’s joy in life is helping others find joy.”

Ashley points out it’s also so fun to “yes-and” with Laura because you’re like a little kid being dragged along by the hand - you don’t know where it’s going, but you know it’s going to be fun along the way.

Ashley does have a sense of “thank goodness Marisha isn’t jumping right into this” so she can coax herself into it, but when she tried to figure out the poem she had a lot of drafts that didn’t survive. She intentionally crafted the letter to give Beau an out if she didn’t feel the same way. There’s a lot going on with Lucien right now and there’s constantly a running thought in the back of her head about “maybe Beau is not into this.” Even the last couple episodes with Jester & Fjord have had Ashley finally understand shipping.

Brian brings us to the moment “almost as romantic as the pre-season finale of the Bachelorette.” Jester was “goo” afterwards. Early on in the campaign, Jester was very forward with her flirtations with Fjord & he shut her down. And then he kissed her underwater and immediately went and slept with Avantika, and Jester automatically shut herself down, because she thought she was misunderstanding & would only be hurt by those emotions. She deliberately focused on just being there with her friends, making everyone healthy and happy. These last few episodes where Fjord was flirting back felt like “my teenage heart again, my first kiss, the boy I like actually likes me back!” and she was able to open back up.

Yasha definitely has some instrument plans for those bones. She doesn’t know if she’s going to add to her harp or create a new one.

Ashley and Laura cheer about Travis stepping out his comfort zone. Laura thinks it was really good that he was doing it with her, his real-life wife, to see if he likes that sort of stuff in his D&D campaign. “It was just so sweet. It was just so sweet.” Brian says he’s actually a really romantic dude & Dani is so glad he asked before the kiss. Brian: “It’s going to be so sad when he breaks your heart and goes back to the corpse of Avantika.” Laura: “It’s fine, Jester will be long dead by then anyway.”

Jester does believe the four-year time trade was worth it, but that the city leaves “a mark on your brain,” especially as in-depth as she saw it. “Jester’s always been reticent to talk about her age because she’s aware she’s perceived in a juvenile way by a lot of people, and she’s insecure about that. She grew up by herself without a lot of social interactions and is experienced in a lot of ways now and naive in others; she’s very aware of human emotion around her, but chooses to see it in a certain way.” Losing the time makes her wonder if she needs to grow up & become an adult about certain things now. Laura: “I think actually she’s closer to Fjord’s age now. Actually, I’m not sure about his age. I don’t know how old he is - I’ve never even asked Travis!” Brian: “I think he’s definitely fifteen.” Laura: “Travis, how old is Fjord?” Travis, off-screen: “Sixty-five,” but he’s had the Mask of Many Faces up this whole time. Later, he adds that he’s in his early 30s.

Ashley has really enjoyed digging into Yasha’s more humorous side lately. It’s how she gets comfortable as a player, making it fun and light in a way that this year needs. “It’s also really funny to think that Yasha doesn’t know how Message works.”

Brian congratulates Laura & Ashley both on their game awards nominations. Brian vamps trying to get himself in as the presenter, but incidentally refers to Laura as his sister in the conversation and it’s super cute. “I would like to be the one to give the award to either my fiancee, or my sister!”

Fanart of the Week: @ethanmaldridge with an illustrated page from the Katzenprinz book. It’s just beautiful.

Jester’s polymorph gambit was terrifying, but the stakes got even higher when everyone else got stunned. She does lament choosing a bunny at the start. “Frickin’ Fjord’s armor!”

Yasha loves being polymorphed lately. She thinks it’s kinda funny, especially given her rigid upbringing with such defined roles.

Laura feels like Jester and Vex are weirdly two halves of herself. Brian: “You see the very bargainy, I’m gonna use my wit & smarts to negotiate situations. But at the same time, you’re very open to what people are thinking & feeling and navigating that. What you end up putting out (though it comes across as innocent and naive) is something pure because she truly believes it.” Laura thinks Yasha and Pike are the same way for Ashley, though Ashley feels a little closer to Yasha right now. Sometimes you just feel really exposed. Laura compares how much idealism she put into Jester to her character from Fruits Basket.

Since Yasha didn’t belong to either side in the war, she’s not hugely concerned by the fallout; she more wants to make sure her found family are okay and safe. Jester is the same way, Laura tells us. Jester doesn’t have any greater vision of the Empire & Dynasty interacting; she cares about the people, and it hasn’t been until the vision with the city that she kind of woke up and realized they have to really stop this now. It feels bigger than the Dynasty/Empire. Ashley: “It seems more of a thing for Beau and Caleb to care about.”

Really, up to now Jester was mostly concerned about getting Molly back, but now the stakes seem much higher. “We have to do this. We have to complete this, to beat them, to keep them from doing this.” Yasha is just going with the flow for now. There’s a lot coming at them and they are ready to find out what’s next.

And that’s that for tonight! Brian thanks the crew especially for working incredibly hard on switching everything to home-based streaming. He then gets stuck halfway spinning around in his chair and the last thing we hear is him idly wondering “What’s Fjord taste like?” which seems pretty on brand for tonight’s show. Is it Thursday yet?

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long post for ts

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princessamericachavez · 4 years ago

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Fjorester Talk in episode 117

also known as Sofía goes buckwild and overanalyzes 10 minutes of conversation and body language.

ready?

Ok, first of all, Fjord looks so worried from the get go as he asks Jester if Lucien/Cree was speaking to her directly.

And when she confirms it he does this little grumpy sigh

He no like it. No like it at all.

Fjord: Does it seem like he’s keying in on you in particular?

LISTEN GUYS

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS

HOPING FJORD WOULD GET PROTECTIVE OVER JESTER CONSTANTLY GETTING SCRIED ON/MESSAGED BY LUCIEN BUT I DIDN’T THINK TRAVIS WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO DELIVER

AND HE DIIIIIID

Ok anyway he goes on about how when they see someone else scrying it’s usually just a representation of the spell and wonders if Lucien is more powerful and therefor can see the person

and then he makes a pause mid-argument

because Jester makes this face and he realizes this is upsetting her, so he quickly backtracks trying to reassure her.

Fjord: I’m sure it’s just coincidence but...

and here’s where the idea comes and god how long has he been thinking about this???

Fjord: since we’re not in the sea... would you... want to wear this?

YES HELLO DO YOU SEE THE PARALLELS TO THAT ONE TIME HE WANTED TO GIVE HER AN EXTRA POWERFUL HEALING POTION TO MAKE SURE SHE WOULD BE SAFE??? PROTECTIVE FJORD PARALLELS!!!

and then he just brushes off the fact that he’s a huge Uk’otoa beacon everytime they are on water —baby, you died once already, don’t act like it’s whatever???

Fjord: maybe it would provide some protection if we were to keep checking in on him?

Jester: I mean... it’s worth a try.

Of course, as she points out, Lucien has already met all of them and he could just as easily scry on any of the M9 if he wanted to, but that’s not really what Fjord is worried about, what is bothering him. Fjord knew Lucien was watching and it’s not the first time they are scried on, but he makes it clear that he’s concerned about how centered on Jester that’s been lately.

Jester: Maybe it’ll keep me from getting seen next time I scry on him?

Fjord: I guess we’ll find out next time we try it.

The way he chuckles softly, trying to defuse the tension, and she smiles back even though this subject clearly has her nervous??? 11/10

Jester: Thank you.

SHE SAYS IT SO SOFTLY. SHE’S CLEARY SO TOUCHED THAT HE’S WATCHING OUT FOR HER AND HAVING HER BACK JUST LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES.

LOOK AT THOSE HEART EYES THEY BOTH HAVE WTF

THEY ARE BOTH SO SOFT

Fjord: Yeah. Just in case it’s not... coincidence.

Listen there’s such a heaviness in how he says the word.

Like the possibility of anyone —especially this very dangerous stranger with the face of a friend— purposefully targeting Jester is his worst nightmare. It probably is.

Jester: It’s also creepy. He did say that he kind of knew me, right?

NOTICE HOW JESTER IS STILL PLAYING WITH THE AMULET IN HER HANDS???

Idk why but that’s getting to me. She’s so nervous with this whole thing.

Fjord: He did?

Jester: When we got there he said he hadn’t met anyone except for me.

OH FJORD DOESN’T LIKE THIS AT ALL

So of course Jester tries to defuse the tension talking about how she must look like through the scry

AND HE’S JUST SO IN LOVE

And so he plays along

LOOK AT THE WAY HE MAKE HER SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(same, Ashley, same)

And so, more reassured by the goofiness, Jester finally puts the necklace on.

Fjord: And of course, it’s Caleb’s...

Jester: oh

LISTEN SHE DID NOT LIKE THAT. She was clearly so excited to get a present like this from Fjord and you can see her face fall a little when it’s deviated towards someone else.

Jester: should I ask him if it’s okay?

Fjord: Well, he gave it to me to use it..

Fjord: and you seem to need it more.

AKA THE AMULET WAS FOR FJORD’S WELLBEING BUT THE WAY HE IS OK IS IF HE KNOWS JESTER IS PROTECTED

Jester, now that she knows this is something that he is personally choosing to transfer to her: Okay...

LOOK AT THE WAY SHE CLUTCHES IT TO HER HEART I’M DYING

Fjord: And just be careful.

Fjord: I don’t like the possibility of him keying in on you or using that connection between the two of you to manipulate something. His magic seems strange.

LISTEN GUYS LISTEN

THIS PART HERE IS HUGE OK?

This is the part where Fjord took 18 steps forward instead of one since Rumblecusp

Whereas before he could’ve hide his concern as something tactical, something useful that made sense and could help their mission... or could’ve hidden behind group speech to disguise his concern...

here he says “I don’t like the possibility of him keying in on you.”

here he is straight up saying “I am worried about you”

(quietly hopes Lucien does exactly that to trigger more protective fjord instincts in the future and lots of angst based shippy shenaingans)

Fjord: Alright. More adventures tomorrow.

BECAUSE THAT’S ALL OK

THAT’S IT

HE SAID HIS PIECE, HE KEPT HER SAFE, MADE SURE SHE LAUGHED A LITTLE AND THAT’S ALL HE NEEDS... THAT AND MORE ADVENTURES BY HER SIDE

But then Jester hesitates

AND LOOK AT THAT, THE WAY SHE PULLS BACK LIKE SHE’S AFRAID IF SHE SAYS THE WRONG THING HE’LL CLOSE OFF

THE WAY HIS FACE SCRUNCHES WITH WORRY OVER WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE TROUBLING HER THAT SHE’S HESITATING TO SAY

Fjord: What?

Jester: H- How are you?

FJORD MELTING IMMEDIATELY:

The way he goes from super concerned to extremely soft in 0.2 seconds.

(i am ashley and ashley is me)

Jester: *explaining all the very valid reasons she has to be worried about Fjord too and all the crazy shit that happened to him only a few days ago*

Fjord: *bursting with feelings of love*

seriously travis pls have some mercy of my poor yearning soul

Also I wanna talk about the way Jester brings up Avantika.

Jester: She tried to pull you into the water... you guys had a thing... it must have been weird to see her all kinda dead and stuff... was it weird? And then you killed her... again...

The way she calls them “a thing” and the way she checks if it was “weird” for him to see her as undead really says a lot to me. I think Jester never quite got over the heartbreak during the pirate arc and part of her probably still thought that Fjord harbored some sort of feelings or attraction towards Avantika.

I think she believes whatever they two had was far more intimate than it actually was. Or, at the very least, Jester thinks it must have meant something to Fjord.

How could she not? The whole thing had her bursting with jealousy and pain and unresolved feelings... you can tell how anxious she is around this subject but also she needs to know if he’s alright because she cares too much

Fjord: It was weird. Yeah, it was weird, for sure. I wasn’t expecting that...

HE DOESN’T EVEN REGISTER IT AS AN “EX” THING I SWEAR

Fjord: I’m alright.

And so she finally relaxes.

Fjord: It feels like I keep trying to start newer chapters in my life and leave the old stuff behind and then it just... keeps popping up.

Fjord: It feels like it’s hard to... pursue something new, when the past is not dealt with.

YOU CAN’T SEE IT IN THE SCREENSHOTS BUT JESTER STARTS NODDING VERY GENTLY WHEN HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT NEW CHAPTERS AND MOVING ON

ALSO THIS

(ashley knows what I’m talking about)

Jester: Do we need to deal with the past?

SHE SAYS WE

BECAUSE AS USUAL THEY ARE A TEAM ALWAYS FIRST AND FOREMOST

AND IF THIS IS SOMETHING HE NEEDS TO DO SHE’S GOING TO HELP HIM AND BE BY HIS SIDE WITHOUT A DOUBT NO MATTER WHAT

Fjord: I think so.

Fjord: Yeah... I want to.

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER WHEN HE SAYS ‘I WANT TO’. HE WANTS TO HAVE A FUTURE WITH HER. HE WANTS TO LET GO OF THE PAST SO HE CAN HAVE A FUTURE WITH HER. HE’S LETTING HIMSELF ‘WANT’ THIS AND ADMITTING IT.

Fjord: I feel like I need to close all of that before...

AND THEN HE JUST GOES THROUGH THIS BLESSED FACE JOURNEY FOR 6 ENTIRE SECONDS

LOOK AT IT

AND THE WAY SHE SLOWLY SMILES LIKE SHE MIGHT KNOW WHAT HE MEANS

LOOK AT HER OWN FACIAL JOURNEY

ASHLEYYYYYYYYYY

And so Jester jumps into action mode offering her help.

and Fjord —once again— proves that he’s able and willing to open up to Jester about things that he’s keeping close to his chest... like Sabian.

Fjord: I um... I actually... I put a bounty out for S-Sabian.

IDK WHY THIS FACIAL EXPRESSION AMUSES ME THIS MUCH

THIS IS FJORD’S ‘IM ABOUT TO CONFESS SOMETHING PERSONAL TO JESTER FACE’ AND WE’VE SEEN IT BEFORE AT THE KILN AND IN RUMBLECUSP

Jester: A bo- When? How?

SHE’S SO BEWILDERED LMFAO

and a little offended that she didn’t know

and I think Fjord can tell by the way he quickly tries to excuse it as a way to keep Kotho occupied after the whole Vokodo ordeal

But Jester quickly gets back on track and starts looking for a way to help him with this. If finding Sabian is what Fjord wants —what he needs— right now, she’ll do anything to help him.

Jester: *describing how she would be able to help Fjord*

Fjord, who never had anyone be this ride or die for him ever and who is bursting at the seems with love for this kind and wonderful woman:

Fjord: Sure.

Jester: You want me to do it?

Fjord: Yeah.

THOSE HEART EYES SHOULD BE ILEGAL

Jester: *uses a sixth level spell to send a message for Fjord because this is totally her number one priority now and it’s not like they are dealing with stuff that literally drained her today or like they are stuck up north for god knows how long... nope... she needs to find a way to help Fjord right now*

Fjord:

okay okay okay

so after the message

you can see how Jester is worried that the news she finally found for him are bad news and not going to cheer him up

Jester: Oops

Fjord: No, no, no, no! No oops! That’s great! That’s great!

I love the way he rushes to reassure her, to make sure she knows that what she just did for him is amazing and means so much and please jester do not be sad about this because this already means so much to me you have no ideaaaaaa

Fjord: That’s... totally distracting but that’s great.

Fjord: Thank you.

Jester: You’re welcome! Now you know!

Fjord, with more feeling and emotion behind it like he wants to tell her that she and everything she does for him out of love mean the entire universe to him: Thank you.

Jester, blissfully unaware that he’s in love with him but delighted that she was able to help and that he is letting her in enough to help deal with his past: You’re welcome! I’m glad I could help!

Fjord, still not over how good she is and how diametrically different her kindness is compared to everything else he’s known in life so far and still after these many months shook and surprised by how wonderful she is: That’s very nice of you, I-

Jester: It’s just a (6th level) spell. Easy to do.

SHE HAS NO IDEA THAT WHAT HE MEANS ISN’T THE MAGIC NOR THE SPELL NOR THE INFORMATION... IT’S HER HELP AND SUPPORT THAT HE IS SO SHAKEN WITH.

Fjord: I.... will think about that all night.

Sure you will Fjord. We know you will. But we know it’s not about Sabien but about Jester’s kindness that you’re gonna be thinking all night. We know that’s what’s keeping you up. Not the past, the future.

AND OF COURSE

THE OBLIGATORY AWKWARD ENDING

Fjord: I’ll race you to the top!

Both: UP!

THEY ARE SO ADORABLE AND GOOFY AND PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER WTF HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE MY LIFE INSTEAD OF THINKING ABOUT THEM 24/7??

ANYWAY WHO IS READY FOR PIRATE ARC PART 2 AND MORE SHENANIGANS WITH THESE TWO WHILE FJORD GETS FINALLY READY TO MOVE FORWARD TOWARDS THE FUTURE HE WANTS WITH JESTER? I AM

#fjorester #fjord stone #jester lavorre #critical role #cr spoilers #sofia's nonsense

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flowerflamestars · 4 years ago

Note

Main Issues with Feysand's leadership: it mostly consists on rather inmature, underdeveloped strategy that would in no way get a world leader very far in the real world (see: 'i schooled my face into a look of boredom'), seem content in making enemies left to right as long as they never have to step down from the pedestal that they've built, and see Illyria as a necessary evil, like wtf. In conclusion, Rhysand is a governor for Velaris, but is not fit to be the ruler of the Night Court.

Rounding caveat, because I know I’m going to get shouty: the dividing line between ToG and ACOTAR is that tog is a fantasy series with romance, and acotar is a romance series in a fantasy world. They’re not the same. I’d be totally fine with how the world building in acotar is v handywavy, because it’s still accomplishing what the books set out to do (tell a love story, hello acomaf) but- BUT, it’s not consistent. And that inconsistency wildly undermines the characters.

And god, if Rhysand as a ruler isn’t the heart of ???? spirit.

We’re not going to talk about how the plot of acotar only makes sense backwards (Hey, Rhys, why did you want to kidnap every month a powerless mortal girl???), we’re just going to talk about reputation.

So Rhys is a villain who we learn isn’t actually evil. A classic. He was made to do terrible things by Amarantha! He sacrificed himself to save his friends! Of course the High Lords hate him, they think he sided with the enemy.

That could have been the whole thing- the layers pulled back, Rhysand also a victim, a reason for the world to hate him but for Feyre to see otherwise.

OKAY BUT- then we learn? that Rhysand has been playing Evil Scary Jackass in all political situations? for his entire reign? that’s just what he does?

Round two: Rhys had to be Amarantha’s because he had to “shield the knowledge” of his friends and his capitol? city.

BUT- other people Under the Mountain, also accessible to Amarantha, know the IC??? have been acquainted with them for years? They’re not a secret. Mor was almost married out, Az and Cas are legendary, Amren is a story people tell.

And all those people are probably incentivized by the fact that, you know, they think Rhysand is an evil traitor.

Furthermore: guess who willing cooperated with Amarantha? The Court of Nightmares. Recall who, surprise in acowar, knows all about Velaris: Keir.

Round three: Sexy Evil Cosplay, wherein we learn that not only instead of just keeping it together in politics Rhys has adopted an entire secondary persona, we learn he also...uses this persona...to scare all the other highborn faeries into submission....so he? never has to talk to them?

BUT ALSO: this whole thing is undermined by, once more, Keir.

The whole game on the throne is to instill fear/ control of Keir. The whole Second Face. But Keir knows about Velaris? Keir knows exactly what Rhys stands for because Rhys and Cassian tried to rescue Morrigan from the Court of Nightmares when they were teens. Hell, Keir probably knew Rhys when Rhys was a kid.

It’s almost like eventually the person you pretend to be becomes who you are.

I think the Political Rhys vs Real Rhys started out as a plot point, but in character became this: not someone separate at all, but actually, Rhysand’s coping mechanism for making shitty choices.

See: if everyone in the Court of Nightmares bows, I’m ruling them. It doesn’t matter that women are being sold, that there’s servants and presumably totally normal people trapped in a mountain they can’t leave with people I think are monsters.

Let’s jump to Illyria.

How much easier is it, for Rhysand, half-Illyrian himself, to align wholly with the High Fae and say: no, it’s Illyria’s fault. They’re savages, they’re barbarians.

Easy as being a dick to other powerful men because it’s fun when they can’t fight back.

If the blame isn’t his, he keeps his army. He doesn’t have to fight a civil war that might swallow him whole, considering Illyria is the army he controls vs the High Fae soldiers left entirely under Keir’s rule.

If it’s Illyria’s fault he can successfully reimagine the past as he clearly needs to (someday, I’ll make a whole ass post about Rhysand’s mommy issues and how they creepily bleed into Feyre’s characterization, but one thing at a time).

If it’s Illyria’s fault, he can’t be mad about his Mother, daughter of a warrior race, offering him up for brutal, dangerous training. It’s the fault of Illyria. He doesn’t have to imagine he was learning those things, fighting in the mud, because it was the only way his mother could pass the legacy, could say, look, this is where I come from and someday you will have the power to make it better for your sister, for everyone.

He LOVED his mother. He wears the sacred tattoos, manifests wings, has Illyrian “brothers”.

But- It’s Illyria’s fault, so Rhys didn’t fail, Rhys is doing his duty by keeping them in line.

Which brings us to the war.

I’m unclear on why only the Night Court knew Hybern was coming, but let’s just accept that.

But it’s all about the Public Face, moving in the shadows, the two Rhysands. So for the months Feyre is wasting away with Tamlin, planning her wedding Rhys...doesn’t warn anyone. Doesn’t whisper to the other High Lords to shore up defenses.

He makes a plan contingent on 1)that creepy deal with Feyre that he can now both justify and doesn’t want to enforce knowing she’s his mate, and 2) long lost magical objects no one knows the location of, and that don’t belong to him.

Rhys got SO used to the All-Knowing Dickbag face, it’s like he started believing he was all knowing. He’s one of seven Lords, but he doesn’t talk to any of them, on the off chance they don’t do exactly as he says. He steals from Tarquin, a young High Lord kind enough to take a chance on him. He tricks Mor. He lies to...everyone?

And then it’s a big deal, a failure on their part, when at the FINAL HOUR AND LAST MOMENT BEFORE ALL OUT WAR, AFTER THE SECOND INVASION HAS ALREADY COMMENCED, when the High Lords don’t jump to trust Rhys.

A step back, a Feyre tangent: Feyre, younger, also deeply traumatized, falls into this hard. Rhys tells her he’s the underdog, and she believes it. He’s SO SO SO powerful he can take the voice of another High Lord, Feyre herself thinks he’s so magical the gap between him and his contemporaries is like that between humans and high fae-

But hey wait, they don’t trust him because he’s been a dick for five hundred years.

But hey wait, they came as their true selves, they don’t trust him while he’s WEARING ILLYRIAN WINGS- IT’S BECAUSE HE’S DIFFERENT-

No, it is not, but Feyre’s POV sort of wants us to think so.

And that’s where everything sort of falls apart.

The act of power has stopped being an act- it’s just their actions now. And they do not know how to stop.

Because they are in control, and they have to go on for the war. They have to keep making decisions, even if they’ve lost the thread, because they want to survive.

But they do survive.

And it turns out, even after that, they can’t put down the masks fused to their faces, because the act is the only thing keeping them together.

So the balls to the wall, We Must have the High Ground Even at Our Own Dinner Parties, The Center MUST Hold shit just keeps going: tearing down Lucien because he chose something that wasn’t their Court. Letting Illyria crumble because they don’t need the army right now. Banishing Nesta because she’ll never bow to authority.

All the weird, incestuous feeling inter IC drama.

But they’re the underdogs! the Heroes! It’s not their fault!

So they spend their time in Velaris, charmingly hanging out like they’re normal people, thinking they’re better because power is wielded on an unimaginable personal scale.

Rhys loves his people! Rhys sacrificed!

Rhys...careened from one war/disaster to the next, and then settled down to play house?

The narrative cannot decide: is Rhys really an underdog, devoted to his people? How about he helps every other city that Amarantha destroyed?

Is Rhys a Normal Guy who just wants to walk on pretty cobblestone and have a cute, happy family? Maybe, there should be a government so he isn’t solely responsible for everything?

Is Rhys the Lord of Darkness Redeemed by LOVE? Cool, let’s have him maybe he honest with Feyre exactly once, OR, at least talk about how him dying made her go off the rails and try to fix that with a bandage that isn’t baby shaped before Feyre’s 22nd birthday.

Canonically, becoming High Lord is a mystical, magical endowment. That then, for the most part, functions as some kind of mashup Monarchy/ Feudal Lordship.

If that’s what it is, why can’t we lean into that? Rhys who does want a normal happy life with Feyre, trapped by the weight of immovable magic destiny.

King Rhys, duty bound to his bloodline and his people, torn between different ways to rule.

Hell, Rhysand who really is a monster, because maybe Faeries are monstrous by human standards, who shows Feyre the beauty that lies beneath the brutality in a magic, surreal world where everyone is terrifying, but even monsters love.

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dumpsterfirebooks · 4 years ago

Text

Azriel POV - Elain

I’ve seen a lot of shit already about Azriel being creepy and possessive and I’m a bit confused where people found that scene because the one I read from BAM had none of that.

1.) It’s stated that he avoids the river house because he doesn’t think he deserves someone like her and respects her having a mate even though he doesn’t agree with it.

2.) He stayed in the doorway during gift giving because he was bothered by the smell of the bond when he’s otherwise standing near her.

3.) Yes he says he gets off thinking about having sex with her. Why is that problematic? Cassian and Nesta were doing the same shit before they got together. It’s taboo because a guy she doesn’t want has a claim to her.

4.) She’s just as physically attracted to him. She’s also the one that starts to initiate the kiss.

5.) At no point does Azriel say he deserves her. He makes a comment that it’s a big coincidence that 2/3 sisters made Fae that have immense power are mated (supposed to be rare) to 2 bestfriends/brothers. Azriel and Cassian both need 7 siphons because they’re the strongest of the Illyrians. One could assume based on Nesta and Cassian that Cauldron made sister + 7 siphon Illyrian = mate. Since mates are supposed to be equals in power objectively it leads a good case for Azriel.

6.) Rhys tells Azriel in that condescending Rhys tone that Azriel believes he deserves her. Azriel literally just scowls and says he doesn’t think Lucien deserves her (a woman he doesn’t know) and that Elain isn’t interested in him so what does it matter with Lucien. For a court that is always preaching having a choice Elain is not entitled to one.

7.) The Blood Duel is an Autumn Court thing and Azriel just says if Lucien challenges him he’ll win plain and simple.

8.) Rhys asks him if his plan was to seduce her away from Lucien. SHE IS NOT WITH LUCIEN. Feyre was damn well with Tamlin when he started his whole thing with her. The possessiveness is coming from the High Lord of Double Standards not Lucien or Azriel.

^And of course he doesn’t have a plan because he’s stated he had no intensions of acting on his feelings physical or emotional. So why the hell would he have a plan? It’s like people have never had a crush on someone they thought was out of their league or not an option before.

9.) If he killed Lucien it could ruin their alliance with Beron, the Spring Court, and Jurian and Vassa. This is a joke right? Beron was a main/side enemy this entire book plotting with Briallyn. An alliance with the Spring Court? Tamlin refuses to leave animal form and is so damn depressed he abandoned his court and responsibilities. Dude just wants to be left alone. Jurian and Vassa I’d buy being upset but at the same time they need the Fae to help break her curse so... yeah. This is just Rhys making excuses on why it can’t happen. The plot also strongly hinted at a future High King which would fuck with all the alliances too so let’s not blame Azriel’s dick.

In conclusion: At no point did Azriel decide to wage a war over Elain or become a creepy perv. Just say you don’t like the Elriel ship it’s fine. Just don’t let words being said from Rhysand’s mouth be what you use to rip him apart. His actual words and actions over 4 books is what you should go by. He’s proven over the course of this book that it’s his way or the highway to a completely irrational level.

#elriel #acosf spoiler #acosf spoilers #don't worry I have the gwynriel shit coming too #this isn't my first sjm rodeo

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writing-fool · 4 years ago

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mlqc | sunday morning

I recently (well~like three months ago) got into this game called Mr Love: Queen’s Choice, and after doing some ‘research’ aka gaming, I felt confident enough to write something. So, here’s a little headcanon about a blissful Sunday morning with the boys~

Warning(s): ever so slightly NSFW (insinuations of a dirty-minded author), profanity/swearwords

Victor

Victor’s quite the workaholic, as we all know

like this man will be working 60-70 hours a week, often bringing work home with him

you’ll be on the couch in pajamas and acting like a total bum while he’s literally next to you wearing glasses and breezing through 50 reports and documents

you steal his laptop and glasses when he starts criticising your report

“Victor noooooooo~work mode OFF!” as you zoom past him with his prescription glasses (he got them fancy glasses with the blue light filter because he’s A WORKAHOLIC and he’s always staring at a computer)

needless to say, this man doesn’t usually have time to spare

sunday mornings are yours though

Victor doesn’t necessarily take the entire day off, but after a certain dummy’s whining, he has agreed to try and have a lie-in on sundays

he *usually* still wakes up before you, because he functions on like 5 hours of sleep (lemme tell y’all, it’s a curse and a blessing in one)

Vic’s a total tsundere, but these moments definitely show off his #SoftCEO side

his little lovebug is sleeping peacefully, wearing one of his pyjama shirts (I bless you with the headcanon that Victor sleeps in silk pyjama pants sans shirt because he runs HOT)

actually, you’re drooling a little bit but even though Victor’s going to pretend he’s annoyed, he never is

oOOhh, also canon that this man is the big spoon in sleeping positions. he naturally gravitates towards you and holds you tight because he’s NEEDY

sometimes you’ll sleep facing each other. Victor holds you against his chest and just cradles your body in his like his life depends on it

100% will entangle his long ass legs with yours

strokes your hair and presses kisses on the crown of your head to wake you up in a gentle way (despite his demeanour, he’s actually remarkably gentle y’all see why i call him #SoftCEO?)

as you wake up, he’ll mock your bedhead with this incredibly fond look in his eyes baby boy these words don’t match your actions

you guys actually get up rather soon after, cos you are both busy people...

fun times in the bathroom not like tHAT well actually kinda~ but for legal reasons everything you do is PG, please spare author-nim who’s still ~barely~ underage

you take a shower and belt your favourite song that’s playing from the built-in speaker (did Victor get a built-in speaker because you thought it was cool? yep. did you ask? nope. did he do it anyways? yehep.) while he goes through his simple morning routine

you probably have more steps in your skincare routine, but he uses a serum, cleanser, moisturizer and some eye cream on the daily

has given you permission to do his skincare at night whenever you both have time

to reciprocate, he dries your hair after your shower you guys HAVE listened to the Right Beside You ASMR, right? ...it’s on YT for free because we’re poor, i know

also canon, blowing raspberries on Victor’s bare back while he’s brushing his teeth will make him choke on toothpaste. tested and approved by MC

“Dummy. What on earth are you doing?”

he hangs around and waits for you to get ready if he’s already done, you do the same. time is something Victor knows all too well, so the precious time he has, he wants to spend with you.

you guys DON’T shower together in the morning because really you’re not getting cleaner ahhh author-nim should really stop

afterwards, you get dressed in some relatively casual clothes (i’m talking a dress shirt without a tie or a polo shirt because no way that this man owns actual t-shirts) and have a simple breakfast

he cooks, obviously.

always makes a balanced, Chinese breakfast (congee or wonton, noodles, tofu pudding, etc.) because he wants you two to start the day well, even on a slow sunday

also, he travels a lot, so he likes eating Chinese food whenever he’s home

ahh...waking up with Victor just sounds like a dream

Lucien

i’m a bit biased on this bitch because he was my first favourite in the game so this might get long. might not. just,,,we’ll see

Lucien is a bit like Victor, where he doesn’t sleep much and works a lot

On the other hand, his work is...ehem...shadier, so he usually works in his office when he’s at home

you’ll both have your own space to do whatever you need to do

days off for Lucien are rare. he usually powers through until he drops

for someone who constantly reminds you to take care of yourself, he’s mediocre at doing exactly that

after getting to know him better, which wasn’t an easy feat because damn this man has more layers than an onion he’ll also make you cry more bUUT we’re not ready to unpack that suitcase, you start noticing when he needs a day off. often even before he notices

you lock his office door and force him to take the FULL day off at least

he could technically open his office again, but he loves you and he’ll humour your attempts

Lucien wakes up before you. always. you’ve seen him asleep like 3 times in your entire relationship.

Luci sleeps like 8 hours,,,a week.

he watches you sleep i feel like that makes too much sense for his character. we love a creepy boy. and wholeheartedly feels at rest with your sleeping figure by his side

in his sleep, Lucien lies on his back, holding you by the waist as you sleep on top of him. your leg is often slung around his middle, so you’re enveloping him. he likes the weight of you on top of him; it keeps him grounded and he likes feeling like he’s yours as much as you are his.

on another note, Lucifer—ah whoops—sleeps butt naked. i honestly can’t imagine him wearing clothes in bed. he’s not shy about his body and feels absolutely no need to cover up for his significant other.

you, however, don’t usually sleep naked. well...nowadays you end up sleeping naked more often than not because alright author-nim’s horrible. can’t help it, he’s a fucking scorpio?

because you guys take a day off, Lucien’s content with waiting and watching until you wake up

he feels you stir on his chest and honestly your drowsy eyes make him swoon

“Already awake, my beautiful butterfly?”

his slightly husky morning voice *really* does things to a person tbh

you guys stay in bed for a good half hour after you wake up, just cuddling and talking, also sneaking in a kiss here and there

you have the same habit of tracing each other’s bodies with your fingertips

his fingers flutter over your waist, you trace his chest or hands with your index again, it’s a very grounding experience to Lucien

when you do get up and head to the bathroom, first thing you do is shower together

he likes washing your hair

bathroom bits might happen, but surprisingly, it’s not a thing that happens a lot so don’t come at me. we’re being wholesome

Lucien’s incredibly intimate and his love language is touch. Yes, he has a way with words but he’s also a really good manipulator

he’s used his words for evil too often and therefore can’t trust words anymore. so he uses physical intimacy as a way to show love.

Lucien has a skincare routine of dermatologically approved products. a double cleanse, serum, essence and moisturizer. he uses anti-age sometimes to prevent later wrinkles.

they’re also one of the reasons why he smells clean and fresh

will tickle you when you’re rinsing your mouth. you’ve sprayed water all over the bathroom mirror before. he loves the reaction.

if you’re having a day off, you’ll probably just wear sweatpants and a t-shirt or a sweater. Lucien’s closet is relatively plain but clean. he has the best cable-knit sweaters/cardigans though.

your breakfast consists of western things like yogurt or oatmeal. Lucien likes having fruit at the start of the day

the rest of the day is spent relaxing and lounging, walking in the park, biking, reading, drawing, whatever you’d like

maaan...i wish i had more days off

Gavin

Gavin’s actually a decently laid-back person on weekends

like, sure he has to work a lot, but his job doesn’t necessarily force him to work from home, so you pretty much have his full attention at home but also he can’t bear to not give you his full attention so what are we expecting

the nasty thing about Gavin being a police officer is that sometimes, he gets called up and needs to work at unconventional hours

also, he gets injured. most of his injuries are minor, but that doesn’t stop you from worrying.

but anyways, he’s not a total busy bee when he’s at home, and relaxing isn’t exceptional

sunday mornings are...well...active. Birdcop goes on a run/hits the gym every morning, so he’s awake by 6am. what did y’all think i was going to write

afterwards, he takes a quick shower and joins you in bed again.

Gavin sleeps in a pair of basketball shorts and a singlet. he’s somewhat shy about sleeping shirtless, and god forbid he sleep naked. but it’s all good and he respects your boundaries. besides, he’s comfortable in his sleep and that’s all that matters.

you spoon in your sleep. sometimes, he’s the big spoon because he likes being able to ‘protect’ you in his sleep. other times, he relishes in the comfort of being the little spoon and feeling you pressed up against his back.

very important headcanon! you’ve learnt to sleep with the bedroom window open. on workdays, Gavin gets home late and jumps right into the bedroom. it’s become a typical habit for you two, although you used to be grumpy about not being able to sleep with the noises of traffic.

you’re usually awoken by the sound of the shower and Gavin’s humming it’s canon that he hums now, bitches. also I bet his singing voice is amazing

so it’s less ‘sleeping in’ and more ‘lounging in bed like the lazy bastards you are’ i’m kiDDING

if he’s able to, Gavin might convince you to go on a run with him....but let’s be honest, you rarely agree

Gavin’s a total cuddlebug though, so be prepared to spend the next forty-five minutes in the tightest hug ever (to be fair, you’re not complaining)

he’s completely soft for you and you’ll have to wrestle out of his grip to get to the bathroom

you don’t shower in the morning, so everything’s pretty quick

Gavin doesn’t actually have a good skincare regiment tbh...he’ll slap on some cream and that’s it. probably washes his face in the shower with body wash...AND HIS SKIN STILL LOOKS AMAZING

you like making funny faces in the mirror while brushing your teeth and making Gavin laugh while he’s watching you in the doorway. he loves how you just make his day with the smallest things.

you guys both dress in really casual clothing, like hoodies and shorts/sweatpants/pj pants unless you’re going somewhere

Gavin has them grey sweatpants, if you know what I mean okay I’ll chill, sorry~

you wear his shirts a lot because they’re super big on you and Gavin secretly not-so-secretly thinks you’re adorable in them (a good thing about Gavin is that he’s easy to read; he blushes rather quickly)

“Ahh...it’s just—you look so tiny and cute.” guess he’s not the only one blushing now

i see Gavin as a ‘bun for breakfast’ kind of person. he picks them up at the stall a couple of miles away when he heads home. sometimes he does so running, other times...well he’s not called Birdcop for nothing

you guys have 2 buns each for breakfast because they’re delicious

lounge time is often spent gaming or cleaning the house (you’re both busy people and Gavin tends to get messy because he just chucks clothes on the floor after a hard workday)

you make the most out of your sunday, hoping Gavin doesn’t get called in

who wouldn’t like being domestic with Gavin?

Kiro

Kiro, unsurprisingly, has an incredibly busy schedule

one that, similar to Gavin, isn’t really decided by himself

i suppose his situation is a tad bit worse than Birdcop’s, since his workdays don’t even actually end when he gets home. he constantly practices choreos, singing, etc. at home

so, full days off are few and very, very far between

this makes them extra precious

it helps to have a lazy morning once in a while though (in Kiro’s case, lazy sundays are most likely a bi-weekly thing)

you wake up first! Kiro needs his beauty sleep, and damn this boy can knock in 16 hours of sleep if need be

you’ll probably lay in bed for a while and then attempt to get up and ready for the day

until...you feel Kiro’s arm tugging you back

for a skinny, lithe boy, he’s remarkably strong. he pulls you back to bed with the groggiest, cutest sleep-laced voice EVER

“Mmm, Miss Chips, it’s not time to wake up yet, is it?”

he snuggles into you and refuses to wake up unless you give him kisses

during the night, Kiro sleeps in actual pyjamas with cute characters on them. when he feels lazy, he’ll probably just slip on a t-shirt and some boxer shorts, but he likes putting in the effort to wear matching couple pyjamas

Kiro cuddles with you 24/7, and sleep makes little difference here. he’s often the little spoon because he does like feeling your presence and your grip on him. he moves around when sleeping, so you might end up out of each other’s embrace, but Kiro subconsciously always touches you in some way or form, like holding hands or intertwining legs. he’s a man with many identities and needs your presence as a reassurance that he’s still the man that you love

he loves to pepper your face with kisses after getting home from rehearsals/concerts, claiming that it gives him energy

you do the same in the morning, anything to hear that sweet giggle of his

he’s deceptively cute though, and innocent morning kisses tend to spiral into...something more let’s just be honest, his stamina is something else entirely i’M SORRY

morning exercise? check. Hotel? Trivago. non-sponsored~

you guys don’t shower in the morning. Kiro’s used to showering after practice, which is late at night, and you shower in the evenings to help you relax

however, on a rare occasion, you’ll draw a nice bath together and play around with bubbles and scented bath bombs so fun and relaxing

Kiro totally has a 14-step skincare regiment. you don’t get that beautiful baby-smooth skin without some effort.

he has the best ‘mid-range to high-end’ products on the market, and loves sweet and floral scents for his skincare and makeup. you guys try to line up each other’s routines to be able to do them together every morning.

Kiro also has a huge bedhead in the morning! it’s your job to get this sleepyhead styled for a fun day

even Kiro’s casual loungewear is top-notch hip and trendy. he has fun sweatpants with chains, belts, patches, you name it. he likes holding a little fashion show with you, no matter what you two are wearing

old jeans? strut it. thrifted shirt? vogue, honey.

Kiro’s on a strict diet, so usually he has a smoothie and some tofu pudding for breakfast. on occasion, you’ll indulge him in something decadent, like French toast or pancakes. on moments like these, you swear he loves you juuuuuust a little more but don’t tell Savin!

you guys are a relatively active couple, so unless you’re inside gaming or busy working, you’ll spend some time in thrift stores or karaoke bars, arcades, fun fairs,...

just thinking about Kiro brightens my day...

As always, I hope you enjoyed reading this! I’ll try to bring out more content for K-Pop idols, otome characters and anime characters during the holidays. Requests are still open, so don’t be afraid to send a little message in my ask-box!

Love,

#mlqc #mlqc lucien #mlqc fanfic #mlqc imagine #mlqc kiro #mlqc gavin #mlqc victor #xu mo #li zeyan #zhou qilou #bai qi #mlqc headcanon #mr love #love and producer #evol x love #lucien #kiro #victor #gavin

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