#why does it keep happening guess i'm a lesbian now

[s-4pphics]

the call. I (sevika + vi)

SYNOPSIS: reddit: a place for thought-dumping and being horny [college au] WORD COUNT: 9.5K WARNINGS: this was supposed to be dark but its very crack-ish, sevika and vi play rugby(kinda minor plot tbh), oc is a crazy redditor and wears skirts, STALKING, 90% SMUT MDNI(fingering + phone sex + munching + mult orgasms + dirty talk, tensionnnn) brief mentions of grief and loss bc me, recreational drug use, JUST TOXIC, abby makes an appearance later A/N: WROTE THIS WITH MY BABY!!! @trackinglessons art by lottie my love my light my everything this is a product of #OVULATIONWEEK and the #ARCANETAKEOVER

—

r/AskReddit

u/artkiller       3y

no one likes me. 

i [f18] don’t have any friends. at all. i don’t have anyone that’s not family that likes me and sometimes im convinced my family regrets keeping me adound. i just moved cities for uni and haven’t been able to have a valuable conversation with anyone and im starting to think i’m the reason why. to be honest i’ve always been the “weird” one or whatever ppl at school called me. but i don’t think im weird at all. I think i’m nice but ppl treat me like a germ lol they just stare and whisper to each other but i know they’re talking about me

does anyone have any advice on being more approachable? or whatever i’m not even sure what to call it tbh.

kewlio313 • 3y

Everybody’s weird in college! You’re young and finding yourself. Join some organizations and put yourself out there! It’ll work out kid 

     artkiller OP • 3y

     i wish there was a chess club lol 

Margie • 3y

how do you go about approaching people? 

      artkiller OP • 3y

      i just walk up and start talking about myself

      Margie • 3y

      Okay… and what’s their reaction? 

      artkiller OP • 3y

it’s different every time. sometimes they just leave, sometimes they laugh then leave, other times they’re outwardly mean. one guy told me to ‘shut the hell up bitch’ and i immediately wanted to commit a federal crime(not murder)

      Margie • 3y

      Goddamn lol. Maybe u r weird 

miKrophone • 3y

shut up hoe

     artkiller OP • 2y

     ?? :/

—

r/AskReddit

u/artkiller       2y

Advice Needed

how do you know if you’re mentally ill?

hello fellow redditors. lol. i’m finally back… very odd first term i think i got ghosted or whatever it’s called by some dude on the hockey team but yeah i plotted homicide. i’m pretty sure that situation sent me into a spiral. i think im sick. 

i’m not sure what’s going on with me but my thoughts have been really dark recently. not necessarily suicidal or harm inflicting(on myself) but… yeah… prettyyyy dark. idk. it’s weird what my brain conjures up sometimes. i guess im curious why my brain thinks the way it does. i’m not a bad person and i know that, but my brain makes me believe that i am. idk what to do at this point. i’ve never been to a professional and tbh i don’t think i should because i don’t wanna be admitted somewhere lol 

kewlio313 • 2y

Welcome back kid. It’s often better to seek help even though it can be fucking horrifying, especially in adulthood. Get help and you’ll be fine

     artkiller OP • 2y

     and if i’m not fine? what do i do then? 

     kewlio313 • 2y

To be frank, I'm not sure. I’ve been through alot and even I don’t have clear direction on life. I’ve been allowing my intuition to guide me for some time. Just try it and see what happens. Rooting for you

     artkiller OP • 2y

     thank you 

—

r/AskReddit

u/artkiller       2y

Advice Needed

am i a lesbian?

i [f19] think im attracted to females. i can’t stop staring at their tits. i always assumed my middle school peeping was from jealousy or whatever the hell twitter said but now that i’m grown i think i wanna fuck girls. or like. girl adjacents??? idk the terminology or whatever. 

PetersJoker • 2y

go eat some pussy and find out

     artkiller OP • 2y

     no fuckhead

kewlio313 • 2y

… Girl adjacents? Females? Are you actually 40? 

     artkiller OP • 2y

     is this a dig

     kewlio313 • 2y

     You crack me up. Have you experimented before? 

     artkiller OP • 2y

     i never passed a science class

     kewlio313 • 2y

     … Alright. 

 I meant hooking up. Have u kissed a girl before? Slept with one? Or whatever you youngins say these days? 

     artkiller OP • 2y

     no. i’m not a slut lol i hardly go outside 

     kewlio313 • 2y

Finding out what you like isn’t being a slut. You’re in college for fucks sake. Find you someone to lay with, ya loser. 

     artkiller OP • 2y

     or i should just shoot myself. less complicated then sex

     kewlio313 • 2y

     Maybe so, but they’re equally as messy. 

ButchesForChrist • 2y

Questioning is usually the first sign. Lol

     artkiller OP • 2y

     fuck me

     ButchesForChrist • 2y

     Well

—

r/AskReddit

u/artkiller       2y

what does sex feel like? (wlw)

[f19] just watched scissor porn for the first time. what the fuck was that. (i need it)

MisandristInTraining • 2y

the work of demons aka men

     artkiller OP • 2y

     i drink their blood

     MisandristInTraining • 2y

     Lmao

OnHorseback • 2y

Feels like dying but emotionally • 2y

     artkiller OP • 2y

     i wanna die physically 

     OnHorseback • 2y

     I’m sure some dirty fuck can set that up for you

     artkiller OP • 2y

     lit

kewlio313 • 2y

Welcome to the dark side. 

     artkiller OP • 2y

     flirt a little harder oldhead 

ButchesForChrist • 2y

Ready to come out? 

     artkiller OP • 2y

     of where

     ButchesForChrist • 2y

     Bitch…..

—

__

__

r/AskReddit

u/artkiller       2y

home sweet home. 

hello found family. been mia bc fuck school but i’m back… and i think im a sadist. 

does anyone know where rugby originated from? i like watching large women be physical w each other and i wish they would harm me in similar ways. pls push me to the floor and stomp me out(specifically directed to one pink head) i’ve been thinking dirty things all day i need her so fucking bad. is this why ppl r so obsessed with sex? bc of hot people? i get it now. i need her to bend me over and put her cleat on my neck

lezziesthatembezzle • 2y

good morning to u too bitch

     artkiller OP • 2y

     big muscly girls pls rail me from da bck 

     lezziesthatembezzle • 2y

     someone muzzle this thot

Accuntress • 2y

A dyke’s pride and joy: large women. 

kewlio313 • 2y

This is crazily your most normal post. Missed ya. Do well in school

     artkiller OP • 2y

     :3 🩷

[deleted] • 2y

The cards are in my favor 

     artkiller OP • 2y

     would you like to sex through private message? 

     [deleted] • 2y

     What the fuck you crackhead

—

r/AskReddit

u/artkiller       2y

Advice Needed

sex addiction while a virgin? 

is this possible? i shouldn’t have watched ppl with big clits trib. quite criminal. even more criminal when i’ve  imagined the girl i’ve been following around for the past 2 weeks doing it to me

[deleted] • 2y

is this who we are…. 

     artkiller OP • 2y

     obviously. 

kewlio313 • 2y

This is my last straw. 

     artkiller OP • 2y

     hugs xD

—

r/AskReddit

u/artkiller       6mo

i’m confessing. 

idc anymore. i don’t give a FUCK. i am in love. i [f21] am in love. the deepest kind i think. love at first sight truly. it’s the kind of love that’s painful. it kills and leaves behind trails of misery if betrayed or lost. whenever i see her, i cry from happiness. her joy is my joy. her hurt is my hurt. our hearts are forever intertwined no matter the distance. i’m writing this for her. if you ever see this: i love you, darling. there’s not a second that goes by where you’re not at the forefront of my mind. i’ll treasure everything we’ve built thus far, and promise to never take it for granted. i hope to die by your side. 

i love you. i love you so much. 

even if we’ve never spoken. 

kewlio313 • 6mo

Yup… she’s lost it, folks. Very deep sigh. 

     ButchesForChrist • 5mo

     That’s part of being a lesbian. She’ll live. Trust me

—

—

—

“Violet! … VIOLET!”

Why’s Sev always so loud in the goddamn library? The receptionist already has tacks on her behavior chart like some kindergartener. “I heard you! Jesus Christ, I’m sitting right fucking next to you—“

“I wouldn’t haveta fucking scream if you woulda answered me when I asked 3 days ago! Are you coming on Saturday?” 

How does she tell Sev fuck no bitch I don’t wanna go in a polite manner? It’s the first weekend after Christmas break and quite frankly, she's already sick of being on campus. Vi loves her friend to death but holy fuck does she wish she had an off button. 

“Just come the hell on and stop—“

“Dude, I—“

“You know it’s not gonna be fun if you’re not there! Half the bitches are comin’ for you! Plus… I think you could use a fun time after… y’know.” Sevika softens — only a bit, she's still Sevika. Hard ass. 

She does know. At this point, who doesn’t? Her last year of university started on a bad foot when her family home caught aflame with her little sister and father still inside, but the icing on the cake was when her long term, blue-haired girlfriend sent her the can we talk? important text. Now she’s single with corpses for relatives(she thinks her sister would’ve found that funny). Her teammates returned to campus with her; eyes mournful and hearts sunk to the bottom of their stomachs, so prepared to shield and coddle when needed. Sev was one of them: through every breakdown and anxiety attack and hungry but nauseating night. 

“I’m not tryna bring up old shit. You been through a lot and deserve some fun. That’s all I’m sayin’. Get your last bit of jitters out before the season starts.” 

Vi nods. She gets it. Losing her sister was just as much of a loss for Sev as it was for her, but somehow, she was able to ease back into herself. Become… normal again. Socializing takes so much energy outta Violet, now. She’d rather go lift or go sock the shit outta rich person. In some ways, she wishes she had as much willpower as her friend. 

She knows why Sev wants her to go. New pussy, new me, her and Abby once told her, but she’s not in the mood to smash right now. She’ll probably start crying if they don’t kiss both her cheeks before her nose like… Ugh. She shivers in disgust… and extreme longing. She misses her ex like crazy. 

“I know. I’ll, uh, think about it.” 

“M’kay… now what the fuck is epitactic theory.” 

“Girl…” 

—

r/AskReddit

u/artkiller       12mi

Advice Needed

how crazy is it to ask for a threesome from two ppl that don’t know you? 

[f21] i’m currently in my campus library watching my girlfriend study with her teammate from my stiff ass beanbag and i need them both like crack. how do i bring intercourse up without making it awkward or uncomfortable? help asap pls

also i might c her this weeknd she’s going out and i wanna go

CreamTeam • 5mi

Wait … so is she your girlfriend or not?? 😭😭 

     artkiller OP • 2mi

     we have a complicated relationship🩷

     ButchesForChrist • 1mi

     Aka she’s stalking her. Scroll down a little

     artkiller OP • 30s

     stay out my business 

     CreamTeam • 1s

     What the fuck

kewlio313 • 2mi

I thought we were better than this, honey. 

     artkiller OP • 30s

     you prob are. im not

     kewlio313 • 4s

     Deep sigh. 

Your phone drops from your jittery hands and into your lap, screen glowing with every disappointed reply from fucking Kewlio who you’ve grown to love. You like to call them a friend. A faceless, emotionally intelligent, oddly attractive friend who you’ve never met. 

The love of your life is right there, as always. Exactly 34 steps away, past the shelves littered with history novels and biographies, sat at the table surrounded by Liberal Arts textbooks and her star-littered laptop. Black jacket, black shirt, ripped black jeans, hair dyed black: that’s new. Still streaked with pink and somehow you’re even more hungry for her. She’s looked a mess recently: beaten and bruised, coming to class with black eyes and bandages across her pretty nose. It makes you wanna burn down the entire Arts and Sciences building with everyone inside of it. 

She’s annoyed with Sevika, you can tell. They’re talking about something. Maybe her sister, rest in peace. Or piss if she sucked. Whatever. A small part wishes you listened a little closer when she talked about Jinx(weird ass nickname, but okay) so you’d know exactly what to ask. She can take out any aggression or sadness on you anytime. In here, outside. You’d drop ‘em for her wherever. 

Kewlio is a dirty liar. You’re not a stalker. You’re a fan, an admirer, a lover. Your girl’s simply unassuming… How the fuck is that your fault? 

She won’t be like that for long, though. 

Vi lost her cleats a few days ago. Her black and blue ones that are worn the hell down and hanging at the seams, but she loves them. Wears them almost every match despite how unsteady they make her on the field. They’re her lucky charm, besides you, of course. 

Her lucky charm found her lucky charms. 

And by found, you mean broke into her gym locker with the code you memorized 2 years ago and snagged ‘em. She should really get those locks changed before someone takes something important. 

The explanation of how you found her cleats exactly? You’re not sure and you’re not dwelling. She’ll be so relieved that you found them that it won’t even matter. Might even drop to her knees and praise you like a God. Is she religious? One of the minor details you don’t know about her. 

But you’ll find out soon enough. No worries at all. 

You wonder how Caitlyn is doing. 

—

Rabbit holes are either your best friend or worst enemy. Today, they’re straddling the fence. Your brain never shuts off when you're in a crisis. You’re ovulating, overstimulated, and searching for a cure from someone you’ve never said hello to. 

The internet can solve your problems though. Especially if they’re sex-deprived millennials. Their long-term lack of human contact makes for some hilarious stories and useful what-not-to-dos. 

how to finger a vagina 

vagina g spot where is it

where is clit vagina

vagina map

scissoring hacks positions

lesbian sex how to

can lesbians do anal 

is mommy kink a trauma response

Reddit searches are always on your side. All answers to the world at the tip of your fingers. You love the media! Squirting is not pee evidently. PornHub comments are not a reliable source. You should ask your girlfriend if she squirts. 

Caitlyn would know. Fucking BITCH!

how to make girlfriend come

Mansplainer misogynists geeking about making their wives do housework while they sit on their asses and flirt with young Discordians. ‘I clap and she appears’

…

You should craft a bomb that only targets cis-het men because what the fuck is going on right now. 

how to make girlfriend cum

‘[M48] I’ve never made my wife climax and we’ve been together for 15 years and have 2 children’

Your eyes are fucking burning. Is it bad to wish death on a person? Cursed imagery. Your fingers attempt to salvage the last bits of your sanity. 

how to make girlfriend orgasm wlw

date ideas lesbian

am i crazy quiz

insanity quiz

You’re normal you’re okay you’re literally fine. 

mental illness signs for lesbians

what does dying feel lik

“Ma’am.”

You gasp sharply. Librarian. Fuck oh shit

“Hi. We’re, uh, lockin’ up, so…” 

You’re still at the library. How much time has passed? How many rabbit holes have you fallen into? Where’s your girlfriend? Her and Sev are gone… 

But you know where to find your g-spot! Hooplah!

“Oh ye— Yeah! Uhh… bye.” You stand so fast you get whiplash. Your backpack beats against your back when you adjust the straps on your shoulders. Headphones on, music blasting, and just like that, the world is off and you’re on. Right into the darkness of the city. 

You love a stripper’s playlist in times like this. 

You love Reddit in times like this. 

You walk and walk with an extra skip in your step. Time to drive Kewlio crazy. 

r/AskReddit

u/artkiller       1s

guys im happy

the joy that i feel rn is unmatched. i love my life. im so excited for the future. thank you god and or universe for these blessings

And post. Nothing could wipe the smile off your face. Nothing nothing nothing you love it here! You love school. You love your girlfriend and her friends and her sport. 

“Oof—“

“AH—“

You back connects with the angles of your hardcovers and fuck you hope your laptop survived that drop. Not enough cushion in your bag to cover that fall fuck your life you hate everyone—

“YOU FU—“

“Holy fuckin’ shit I’m so sorry are you ok—“

And your mouth zips. Oh…

Oh. 

Your girl’s in running shorts. Squeezing her thighs good ‘n tight and she glistens with sweat, brows pulled down in concern as she eyes you from above. If the fun was still out, the rays would dress her head like a halo. A heavenly sight. You’d die here… but not before a drop of her sweat falls on your face. You need that at least once. Zooweeema—

“Are you oka— fuck, gimme your hands, up ya go, c’mon—“

Oh she’s talking. And grabbing you. 

Your hands are warmed by skin and your spine tickles when you’re pulled to your feet like a feather. The pain in your back and shoulders don’t fucking matter anymore. Life works in mysterious ways, doesn’t it?

“Hi, Vi.” 

“I’m— hey, uh… do we know each other?” 

We love each other actually! 

“No— I uh, sorry! I go to watch your matches and all that. Kinda a fan… Sorry if that’s weird—“

“No no no no, not weird at all. Uh, very flattering actually. ‘Preciate it.” 

You’re gonna fucking pass out. 

“Are you okay though? Nothing hurts, right?” And your knees wobble when a squeezing hand lands on your shoulder, gauging you for pain. No pain. Just deprived. Needy. Desperate. Touch me some more. 

“M good.” 

“Cool…” Her hand drops and you nearly screech like a banshee, “And your name? Sorry bout t—“

You interrupt with yours and she smiles. Nice to meet you, she says with gravel and your heart grows another heart inside of another heart. Holy fucking you’re boutta

“I like rugby.” 

Kill yourself. You’re boutta kill yourself. 

Vi’s eyes widened before nodding in agreement, “Yeah… me too. If it wasn’t obvious enough. It’s a great… stress reliever.” 

So is sex, according to Sexcopedia.edu. Do me. 

“Really? It looks painful sometimes.” 

She sighs with tension, “It is. We gotta lot of aggressive people playing against us so we have to always… do more. I guess, I dunno. But whenever I’m mad it’s great. Very useful.”

“Are you mad often?” 

“Are you studying psychology?” She pins with an arched, slit brow, but her eyes remain light and friendly. It’s funny, she doesn’t appear to be this approachable with her grunge-ness.  

“Nah. I need to, though. Could do me some good.” 

Her laugh is hearty. Genuine. “Shit, me too. Help me out.”

“Do you wanna be my friend?” 

She seems stunned and you don’t know why. Doesn’t banter create friendship? Whatever. Fuck it. She can say no. You don’t care. You still got her shoe—

“Gimme your phone—” 

Your heart drops to the floor, through the concrete, right into the center of the Earth’s crust waiting to burn and cease to exist. She’s got you figured out. You’ve been exposed and she’s gonna fry you in the middle of the damn street

“—I’ll put my number in.” 

… Oh.

You meticulously make sure your notis are deleted and OFF before handing her your device with the keypad on display. Her fingers are pretty and nimble. Flexible with how slender they are. Pretty hands. Pretty, blue veins and you're instantly reminded of her ex. You hate the color blue. 

She hands your phone back, “That’s me. Hit me up when you get… wherever you’re going. And lemme know if I need to cover your medical expenses for spinal cord surgery.” 

You laugh. Really fucking loudly and she flinches, but smiles after. She’s so fucking cute! Is this flirting? 

“Y-Yeah, I will.”

Her head tilts fondly, “Cool.”

“Cool.” 

She gives you one last look before plugging her earbud in to continue her jog. You check her contact to make sure it’s real and fuck you have her fucking number! Fuck fuck fuck fuck

You leap like the happiest frog in the pond when she’s out of your line of view and a sharp pain whips through your shoulder blades. 

—

r/AskReddit

u/artkiller       3mi

lads i just got proposed to. spring wedding in sweden

number collected. so it begins. 

kewlio313 • 48s

Christ help us all. 

CreamTeam • 10s

Ring pics. 

     artkiller OP • 3s

     cawk ring pics***

     CreamTeam • 1s

     Should’ve fuckin known. I hate you genuinely 

—

r/AskReddit

u/artkiller       30s

when’s a good time to text the girl you’re obsessed with? 

[f21] soooo i’m laying in bed lookignat her contact and idk what to do. i’ve fantasized about this so many times and now its in my lap… im so used to shit going wrong that idk how to react to it going right. it’s kinda late but i really wanna talk to her but idk she might be sleep or whatever. 

should i scale her building and check if she’s awake? :(

—

Vi doesn’t know why there’s a pit in her stomach. She sits on her teammate’s fluffy rug with a smoked out Sevika who patiently waits for her green light, but it hasn’t come. She feels an oncoming breakdown and she needs a babysitter just in case. 

“Finish this for me?” A roach floats in front of Vi’s face before she pushes it away. 

“No.”

“Buzzkill.” 

Sev and Vi sit in silence for 12 seconds before the roach is stolen and hit by the latter. Sevika snickers. Vi drops her head on the couch and exhales her worries through clouds. Stressed, anxious riddled, maybe not the best headspace to get high but fuck it. 

“Whatcha thinking about?”

She shrugs, “Everything.”

“Talk ta me. What’s happening.”

Vi’s face burns when her mind plagues with you. Your giant bifocals and smudged mascara and acrylic-stained hoodies. You had a backpack on… Could be a student here. You might be a freshman. Vi hates making assumptions about strangers but you seemed a little… 

Immature? Your eyes were too shiny to be a senior. 

“You’re gonna laugh…” 

“I’ll always laugh at your stupid ass,” She snickers. “What happened, though, seriously.” 

Wafts of smoke curl around her words, “I almost bulldozed a girl earlier.” 

Sevika scrabbles to her knees with a slack jaw, “WHAT THE—“

“Oh my fucking god can you be normal for—“

“BITCH BULLDOZED? WHAT THE FUCK FREAKY ASS BITCH—“ 

“NOT LIKE THAT!” Vi scoffs, “I went on a run and bumped into her! Fucking WEIRDO!”  

Sevika slumps back on her ass, clearly disappointed, “… Oh.”

Vi tends to the roach until her fingertips burn, stubbing out the burnt paper on Sevika’s ashtray. When she looks up, she finds a very intrigued looking fox. Here she fucking goes. 

“She hot?”

Vi’s sigh is littered with agitation at her friend while she laughs, “I hadta fucking ask! Tell me! She smell good?” 

“I don’t fuckin’ remember! We talked for like… 2 minutes!” 

“2 is enough time to check her out. Show’a hands, how fat were her tits? Like this?” Sevika mimes holding watermelons that are too goddamn heavy and Vi cringes. 

“You fucking disgust me.” 

Sevika relaxes back onto her elbows, legs extended in front of her. Her brow quirks when she catches Vi’s gaze drop to her waist, “Meh. You like that about me.” 

“Sometimes. Not when I’m in a crisis.”

“Meeting a girl is a crisis now?” 

“Yes! I don’t fucking know, she was…” 

Honestly, Vi’s unsure how to describe you. 

“Does she at least go here! You’re not giving me shit to work with.” 

“I DON’T KNOW—“

“DON’T FUCKING YELL AT ME—“

Vi groans with her palms in her eyes, “She just asked to be friends. She told me she watches us play and that she’s—“

“Back the fuck up,” Sevika raises up again, “Do you not see what’s happening here!” 

“…” 

“You’re actually fucking stupid, wow,” She scoffs, “You know she set all that up, right?” 

“… What in the fuck are you talking abou—“

“She ran into you on purpose! She’s a fan bitch!” Sev reaches for her phone on the coffee table, “What’s her Instagram?” 

Vi whines, “I don’t know—“

Before Sevika can cuss her out for the 40th time, she bursts, “I GAVE HER MY NUMBER!”

“… Did you get hers?” 

“…” 

“BROTHER—“

“Shut up! I’m not… I don’t flirt! I don’t know how, not anymore! She caught me off guard honestly.”

“What's her name?” 

Vi sheepishly mumbles your title; it’s slimy the way it curls on her tongue. You were so nice and now she’s setting you up to be pestered by her best friend. 

It’s silent for 3 minutes, only the pittering of Sevika’s fingers on her device while she hunts for you. Another 4 pass before she tosses her phone in annoyance. 

“You sure you weren’t hallucinating? Nothing’s poppin’ up.” 

“You’re so annoy—“

WHO THAT IN THE BAAAAAAACK, WHO THAT IN THE BAAAAAAACK

Vi’s phone screen glows gray with an unsaved number across the top… One with their area code… Sevika watches the number scroll like a hawk. The smile that grows on her face is crooked. And knowing. 

It’s 11PM. It’s not you. It couldn’t be you. 

“That’s your ringtone?” Sevika snorts. 

“Shut up.” Why’s she so anxious all of a sudden? Her sweaty palms aren’t enough to stop her from reaching for the device, though. 

She answers and puts you on speaker. 

“Hello?” 

“…Hi. It’s me.” 

Sevika’s brow lifts in questioning. Is that her? She mouths and Vi nods. Her eyes roll when her friend whispers, cute voice.  

She’ll never say, but Sevika’s presence re-energizes her. Makes her a little more playful, so she teases, “Me who?” 

A beat of silence passes before you start mumbling to yourself, “I’m gonna fuckin’ throw up is this the wrong per—“

Sevika’s hand flies over her mouth to smother her laughter while Vi coddles you; laughs that she’s joking and that she was waiting on your call. Her cheeks burn when her teammate throws her an accusatory look. 

“Do you mean it?” 

“Mean what?” 

“That you’ve been waiting on me?” 

Before Vi can answer, Sev raises up onto her knees and mimes fucking somebody from the back, face slack with faux and exaggerated pleasure. She ignores the sinful jolt in her tummy and flings a throw pillow right at her face. 

“Yeah, ‘course I was…” 

And then it’s silent again. Her muscles freeze with every deep breath you take over the phone. Sevika waits expectantly, talk to her, she says with flapping fingers. 

“Whatcha up to?” 

“… Uhh… nothing?”

Your laugh is featherlight, “Are you asking me?” 

“Maybe?” 

Sevika’s had enough of the tomfoolery. She wiggles over and hits the mute button with a heavy slam. Leans in close while she whispers, 

“Dude, she’s tryna fuck—“

“No, she isn’t—“

“Yes she is, dodo, did you hear how she was talkin’?” Her tone heightens in pitch, mocks seduction, “You were waiting on me, baby?—“

“H-Hello?” Your mumble is drenched with insecurity. Sevika doesn’t give a fuck. 

“See?” She nearly screams, “She’s DJin’ right now—“

Violet shoves her back before unmuting, “Sorry, m’here…”

“… Was it a bad time to call?” You’re quieter now. Ashamed sounding. Embarrassed. 

“Not at all! Sorry, I was smoking earlier, makes me lose my train of thought.”

“It’s okay…” 

“You make it home safe?” 

“Mhm. I was about to fall asleep but then I remembered to call, so…”

Vi catches her smile before her friend can bully her for it, “So, you called…” 

“Yes,” said excitedly. She can hear your smile. Very puppy-like. Cute. Vi jolts when Sev starts snoring obnoxiously fucking loud. She flicks her forehead. 

“Is someone there with you?” 

Both their eyes widen. A sharp hand raises to slap Sevika, but she flinches before it lands, “Sorry. Just my stupid ass roommate.”

“Hi, Sevika.” 

You’re oddly calm…. But why wouldn’t you be? You had no other intent for this phone call other than keeping your promise. They still share a look though; a brief flash of intrigue and skepticism. How’d you know…

It’s not pondered on for long by Sevika before she sings, “Hey, sweetheart.” 

You sound like the wind has knocked outta you. “H-Hi.” 

Sev singles for Vi to pass the phone over to her. She obliges with a hard stare, “I was just passing through, but while I’m here, I gotta couple… questions. That good with you?” 

“Yes.” 

“Good. You single?”

“Mhm. For forever, sadly.”

“Great. Are we at the same school?” 

“Duh. I’m at every match. We’re, uh… graduating together if everything goes as planned.” 

So definitely not a freshman. Just when Vi thought it was impossible to finish college without a chip on your shoulder. You seem to have made it through just fine. 

Despite Sevika’s reputation of being cold-hearted and abrasive with wicked flirtation skills, she speaks to you like you’ve been in her life for years. Gentle. Inquiring. She lays flat on her stomach with her feet kicked up behind her, “What’s your major?” 

“Architectural engineering. What’s yours?” 

“You’re so smart. ‘M doing mathematics. You should tutor me when you getta chance.”

“Sure. Just lemme know when. I’m always in the library, so.” 

“Well, what a fucking coincidence, so are we! You coulda dropped by and said hello if that was the case.” 

“I’m trying to do that now… Am I doin’ okay?”

“Just fine actually. Aren’t you sweet.” 

“I taste sweeter.” 

Sevika drops the phone on the plush rug beneath them. Sits upright with urgency. Gawks at Vi whose jaw is nearly in her lap. There’s hardly any air in her chest. She squabbles for her phone and ensures that the volume is all the way up. Holds the device right in between them. 

“… Swear? I don’t think that’s possible.” Sevika hums at you, holding her roommate’s gaze while her tongue traces over the dryness on her lip. 

“You could find out… Both of you can if you wanna.” 

“‘S that easy?” Sevika rasps, and Vi flinches when her breath hits her mouth. Leans in a bit closer to feel more on her face. 

“Why do you sound like that?” Vi huffs at your genuine curiosity. You’re so fucking cute, fuck. 

“Because you’re turning me on, hon,” Her gaze washes over Vi and her skin burns with trails. “Both of us.” 

“Oh… cool.” You exhale unsteadily. They can’t help but laugh at you. “Cool?” Vi repeats. 

“Yeah. Awesome. I’ve never done that to someone before.” 

“You a virgin?” 

“Yup.”

“FaceTime us.”

“I have a Samsung.” 

Both girls explode into laughter, “We’ll call you, then, Jesus—“ Vi sends an eager finger towards the small camera before you mumble, 

“Who says I’ll answer?” 

Sevika tuts, “You don’t wanna watch us kiss?” 

“I’d rather watch in person.” 

Sevika throws Vi a look and she’s instantly reminded of Abby. Usually, that glance — filled with an equal amount of tenderness of filth — is shared between her teammates and she’s forced to endure whatever nonsense they plan to take out on somebody together, but now she’s here. Sevika’s including her in such a sacred ritual. She’s suddenly skittish, “You’re killing me, baby. Whatcha doing this weekend?” Sev quiets, timbre amorous. 

“Playing Overwatch.” 

“Fuck that shit. Come to Kappa on Saturday. Everybody’s goin’.” Sevika snips down at Violet, and she whines while her fingers dig into her roomie’s tank top. A little closer, and they’re kissing. Just an inch—

“What’s Kappa?”

Vi giggles, “House,” Sevika mumbles against Vi’s mouth, “Frat house. Right off 16th. It's bright blue, can’t miss it.”  

“‘K, I’ll go. See ya there.”

“Wh—“

Three dial tones break through the smoke in the air before the screen goes dark, both girls left stunned and… very tempted to track your location. Maybe pop a titty for your RA in exchange for your room number. Wouldn’t be the first time…

… Is that too much? 

It could be, but you didn’t hesitate to drop bomb after proposition, and the selfish part of her heart can’t help but think you wouldn’t mind two ravenous strangers at your front door. The knowledge that they’d give you everything you needed would be enough for you to allow them entry. 

And the way Sevika’s staring at her… Craving, but careful. She’s so patient. 

It’s been such a long time — two years since they’ve had any physical connection. Drunken nights, quickies in the locker room showers— the distractions from grief were all put on the back shelf when Vi got into her relationship. Sevika’s a sleaze, not a homewrecker — most times, so she kept her hands to herself out of respect, no matter how many times Violet would catch her staring where she knew was off limits. 

Vi can't get to you, but she can get to Sevika. 

So she yanks her close, dissolves the space between them as their mouths collide with heat and a newfound ache for you in the middle. Sevika’s just as rough as she remembers — pushes her down so her back molds to the floor, entangles a cinched hand in her hair to pull and expose her neck to the attacks. She’s got blotches and teeth marks on her throat — the unrestrained and possessive and her stomach flips. She gasps at the ceiling when her nightshirt shreds under a forceful hand. 

She hasn’t had the heart to have sex in months — propositions were turned down on dozens of occasions because her mind couldn’t focus on enjoying. Every second of euphoria gets overshadowed by hollow, unforgiving guilt. 

You sparked something in her with your forwardness, that curiosity that left her aching to read your mind. Her best friend, too, evidently. 

Every movement is fast. She crawls down her torso with intent — fangs sharp where they leave blood down her sternum. Vi’s fingers pry Sevika’s shirt off, her tongue separating from her waist for mere seconds before reattaching. An eager hand fondly moves her friend’s hair out of her face. 

You want it? Sevika’s eyes read. 

Yes, I want it, please. Vi says aloud. Eager with a twisting hand in her scalp. 

Sevika sends waves through Vi with every wrestle her tongue devotes to her clit. She can’t think of anything but Sevika and you and both of you at the same time; on top of her — you sat on her face while Sevika’s fingers drove inside her. She wants her tongue inside you; unrelenting and feverish until you scream and soak her tongue in your sweetness. 

Sevika eats like she’s hungry. She eats like she misses having her like this and that wounds Vi up tight; it sends shockwaves down her legs. Makes her twitch, but Sevika forces her still with a tight grip on her waist. 

Vi curses with fluttery eyes when a finger — then two, circles around the entrance that aches for a stretching. 

They’re heaven sent when they push in. She’s getting fucked like she’s hated and she loves it. She deserves to feel like nothing; her walls are selfish where they encase the digits that bring her to the sun, massage against every sensitive ridge just how she needs. Her mouth spills with whatever energy she has left within her; slurred and drooled fuck yes yeses. She can barely conjure a warning when her core locks tight, right before she explodes. 

There’s wetness everywhere while she pulses through her pleasure, thighs squeezing around Sevika’s head with every satisfied moan that vibrates on her clit. Tells Violet to give her more and to take it take it take whatever she gives her like she knows she can. 

It’s not until Violet starts sobbing and Sevika’s mouth is dripping wet that she pulls out and separates from her completely. She kisses her pussy gently before shifting to help unlock Violet’s knees. She shivers with every peck that’s trailed up her torso to her chest to her neck. 

Sevika laughs when Vi does, choked and clogged, but elated and genuine. It’s been so long since her body’s felt this light. 

“You needed that. Ya look better already,” Sevika cackles. “Can you stand?” 

“Fuck off, gimme a sec.” Vi shoves playfully at her chest. 

—

—

—

r/AskReddit

u/artkiller       3s

guys. 

i love being a liar. it makes me feel alive never let a bitch tell you lying is wrong it literally makes life so much easier!! wishing everyone a good night. 

everything’s going as planned. just one more tally on the board and we’re set

—

—

—

r/AskReddit

u/artkiller       20mi

Advice Needed

it’s been 24 hours and my girl who’s not my girl has been texting me nonstop. 

[f21] hello. im in a crisis but a good one? if that’s possible. long story short im in love but not dating the girl im in love with yet. i took some of y’all’s flirting advice and i think it worked. im betting my life that yall do witchcraft. i barely said anything to her and now she won’t me😝😝😝 and tbh… i think her friend won’t me too!!!!! she’s always asking about my day and asking if i ate and if id wanna eat with her but i always decline bc im not ready physically mentally like i’m gonna combust the second she walks up to me i barely survived our first interaction…… but her friend invited me to a party tomorrow night…….. wtf do i wear to that i’ve never been outside before LOL

might get a train ran on me…… WE’LL SEE FRIENDS 

adding her undies to the shrine🩷 yaaaay

CreamTeam • 14mi

bro is she your girlfriend or not? It’s been years at this point. 

     artkiller OP • 12mi

     yes i mean no or yes :)

kewlio313 • 7mi

Wear something that you wouldn’t wear to your parents funeral. Good luck dear 

     artkiller OP • 5mi

     i would whore out if my family died

     kewlio313 • 2mi

     Good God. 

—

What does genuine happiness feel like? 

You’re unsure how long you’ve been on your beanbag, but Violet and Sevika have been laughing since you sat down. They’re so relaxed around each other, content with silence. Accepting of failure. 

You’re not a jealous person at all. Far from, actually, but something furies from within whenever you see them — or people, in general, gleeful; the desperation to feel. You haven’t had the privilege. Maybe that’s why you cling to whatever you have with Vi. She has birthed a wanting inside you. A desire for connection after spending decades comforted by the sound of your own voice. Or comments under your posts. 

Violet makes you happy. And Sevika might, too. Just as long as she doesn’t get too close to your light. 

You’re standing right behind Sevika. She can’t see you, but Vi can. Her fear is swiftly overshadowed by delight. She greets you with a smile that makes your heart throb. 

Sevika’s gaze wanders down to your legs, that remain exposed despite the weather, 

“You’re not cold?” She asks. Not exactly the introduction you were expecting, but that makes you giddy. Vi must tell her about you! 

“Yes,” You say with ease, “Y'all should come to my room. It’s warmer there.” 

Vi nods after gawking, 2 books immediately tucked to her chest with her bag on her back. Sevika just laughs. She gets it. You like that. 

—

r/AskReddit

u/artkiller       1s

Advice Needed

how do i mentally prepare for sex? (virginity)

literally fucking freezing walking to my room rn with two burly butches that i want to throw me around and i think they’re going to bc they’re not talking to me but the y are very close i don’t want them to see my screen guys im about to have a threesome pls fucking help me

—

“Cute room.” Violet says, inspecting your horror movie posters and stuffed animals. 

“Thank you.” You smile. 

I hid the 14 polaroids of you that I had taped to my door. Hope that makes you more comfortable! 

“It’s just you in here?” Sevika chimes, eyes glued to the small bed up against the wall, right next to your PC setup. You should ask if they game afterwards. 

“Yes.” 

Violet takes her jacket off and hangs it on your doorknob. 

“Already takin’ off your clothes?” You plop down onto your freshly made mattress. Both girls look very stiff in your space; Is that normal? Maybe they’re nervous. 

Both girls laugh the same. “Not like that. It is warm in here.” Sevika follows in Vi’s lead, removing her hoodie and her undershirt is squeezing her and yup those arms are still there those muscles are popping out yup yup yup—

“Yeah. I can’t sleep in the cold.” You pat your bedspread for them to sit… and they do. On either side of you. Vi brought her notebook and pencil. Sevika brought her heavily ringed hands. 

She scoffs, “Me neither. Immune system is worse than a newborn’s.” 

“Do you get sick easily?” 

“Yes. I just got over it last week.” 

“Damn…” 

“Almost got me sick,” Violet pins playfully, skimming through her pages. She erases before rewriting. So so so so smart; too bad both her answers were wrong. You’ll show her the way soon enough. 

“Coach would hate me. Her star pupil’s under the weather, what ever shall we do,” Sevika mocks and you both chuckle. 

“The season starts next week. Y’all nervous?” 

“No—“ “Yes—“

“I’m nervous for games, not practice,” Vi corrects, “I can’t find my fuckin’ shoes.” 

“What shoes?” 

“My cleats. My sister got ‘em for me a while ago, wear ‘em every match for good luck. I don’t remember where I fucking put them though.” 

“Aww, ‘m sorry.” 

Sorry for keeping them in my closet. 

“S whatever. Just gotta get new ones.” 

Small talk is boring as fuck, but it continues between you and Vi. Sevika’s quiet as a mouse; every glance in her direction is met with hooded eyes. She’s very focused on your nightstand drawer. Can she see what’s inside it? You hope so; Maybe your unworn thongs will motivate them to move this along. 

“Awww! Wait, you used to play soccer?” 

You already know all this. It’s on her fucking Instagram for fucks sake! 

“On the junior team when I was like… 10! I was—“

Trash. I kept tripping over the fuckin’ ball—

“—And forgetting to tie my shoes. It was a hot fucking mess!” 

Yup. Same as the caption. 

The laughter between you finally quiets. You count 12 seconds in your head. You raise a hand to place it on the Hello Kitty bandage directly under her eye. 

“What happened here?” 

Sevika’s breathing is very calming. 

“Got in a fight,” Vi mumbles. Poor things embarrassed! “Got socked in the eye.” 

“Sorry,” Your hand rests in your lap, “Did I hurt you?”

“You’re good… still stings though. They gotta good one in.” 

“How’d it happen?” 

“Don’t remember honestly.”

“Oh okay.” 

The conversation ends. Another 12 seconds. 

“So… Did you guys fuck after I hung up?” 

Sevika smiles and Vi chokes in shock. They’re so different. No wonder they’re so close. 

“I— sorry, thought we were studying—“

“Who said we were gonna study?” You stare at Vi quizzingly. 

“No one did. We mighta fucked.” Sevika shrugs nonchalantly. 

“Oh… was it fun? Whatever it was.”

“Ask her.” She nods in direction of the girl whose face is beet fucking red. How cute! 

“Vi… was it fun?” 

Her eyes droop to the pencil in her hand before flicking it nervously. 

“… I guess.” 

“You guess?”

“That’s what I said.” 

“… Okay.” 

Vi sets her book and pencil on your nightstand before releasing a stuttered sigh. 

“Tell me what happened if ya wanna,” Softness wafts off your tongue. 

Vi swallows, “I… uh…”

“Mhm?”

“We… I didn’t…”

“I gave her head til she cried.” Sevika whispers right in your ear; tickling against your lobe and you’re suddenly winded. Vi’s legs twist until one crosses over the other. 

Gave… Oh…

This isn’t new information. You’re 79% sure Sevika was Vi’s first kiss… or you heard something like that in passing, so why does the sudden confirmation make you wanna hide? Curl into your blankets and shield yourself from both of them? 

“Oh… fun.” Your face burns underneath the skin.

“Very.” 

“Yup…” 

“You’re shy now? After all that?” Sevika almost laughs when your eyes drop to the floor. 

“It’s uh, easier to talk when no one’s actually there.” 

“We coulda been if you’d answered the fucking phone.” 

“… Sorry.” 

“It’s okay, baby.” 

Sevika’s captain of the team for a reason; a leader by nature and Vi allows her to despite her anticipation. She's much closer now, the respectful distance she kept up upon arrival now completely shut, her shoulder touching yours, nearly straddling your leg. 

There’s a light tickle on your thigh; Sevika’s index finger barely grazes the skin exposed beneath the hem of your skirt. 

“You’re so stiff,” She whiffs tender against your neck and you choke a noise. 

“I’m … ‘mscaredtobreathe—“

“Don’t be scared,” Sevika’s whole hand caresses your knee, eases you into her, all while Vi mouths at your neck. “Here, wanna know a secret?”

You release the air in your lungs, “Sure…” 

She’ll never tell, so I will. Your head bobs so encouragingly. 

Vi told me something after she showered that night. 

With every buttery brustle against your shoulder, Vi’s hands gently attack wherever they can reach; the plush of your hips, on your thighs, grabbing at your tummy over your hoodie that takes up too much fucking space for her liking. You can’t stop squirming with every taut pull at the pit of your stomach. 

I was sitting on my bed and she came in, and she smelled so good. I was trying to roll up again, but she took my tray and put it on my dresser… 

Roll up? Tray? What what what the fuck is she saying—

And she got on her knees in front of me… and she looked so fucking cute just staring up at me like that, like she’d do anything to make me happy… She’s sweet like that if she’s in the mood. 

She said ‘may I practice on you, please?’… And I said okay… So she pulls down my underwear and treats me so well. You wanna know who she was practicing for? 

Yes, yes, please—

It was you, baby. She kept telling me how good she wanted to make your first time. 

A strained noise chokes from your throat, and Vi smiles against your ear before her lips close around your lobe and it’s too much they’re too much—

Uh huh, and her tongue felt so fucking good on me. Almost impressive… and she loved every second of it. 

Please… please, I’m— 

Listen to that, Violet, she’s so fucking cute, isn’t she?

So sweet, too. Bet she tastes so fucking good. 

She’s so hungry for you, baby, Sevika coos at you, Gonna stop teasing and give us what we want? 

You agree obediently — desperately, with every thrumming cell you can use at the moment. 

Vi’s benign hand rests on your cheek to turn you towards her before kissing you softly. A gentle peck before she pulls away. It’s overstimulating; Vi kissing and touching you like you’re made of glass while Sevika sucks large bruises on the side of your throat. Your nails dig into the muscular thigh that hardly shakes at your grip in attempts to ground yourself, but they fail because you’re about to faint. 

Your sun kisses you deeper, holds your face tighter to keep you where she needs to tongue at your lips. You’re trying to keep up with her, to use the muscle like she uses hers, but you’re falling behind. They don’t seem to mind, satisfied with the fact that they’re gonna devour you regardless. 

And when Vi lays you back nice and cozy against your pillows while Sevika kisses all over your face, you know you’re fucked. 

—

Sevika and Vi take turns kissing you. 

It’s a messy and uncoordinated mess of teeth and saliva, mainly because of you, but you like it. You love it. You hope they do, too. The warmth of their bodies beside you resonates deep in your core. Whenever one of them pulls away, the next is more than open to take her place, over and over. Your thighs are already shaking. 

Your hoodies raised up thanks to Vi’s wandering hands, tucked right above your rib cage. Your stomach jolts when a feathery finger teases at the band of your skirt. 

“You ticklish?” Vi mutters against your cheek. 

“… Nope.” 

“Yes—” She swipes the same finger against your exposed skin and you jump with a giggle, “you are. Liar.”

“Fuck you!” 

“Yeah… I really, really want to.”

She doesn’t give you time to think of a response; just kisses you one last time before climbing onto her knees. Meanwhile, Sevika’s struggling to get comfortable in your bed. She’s essentially on top of you, both her legs wrapped around one of yours. 

“Fucking — small ass mattress! I forgot how much I hate these!” 

“S-Sorry! Couldn’t afford anything else — mmh!”

Sevika reconnects your mouths while the bed dips beside you. Then there’s lips on your tummy. 

Laughter explodes outta you; Sevika can’t help but laugh into your mouth while Vi nibbles at your pudge. Her grin glows on your skin before her tongue glides on your hip. Her attention stays there; sloppy noises from above and below, your gasps swallowed with every bite Vi gives you. 

You hardly register her pulling your skirt down. You’re just colder. And fuzzier in the head. Sevika breaks away to ask, 

“How wet is she?”

Huh— oh she’s not talking to you yup yup—

“Come see.” 

Sevika rises from position and you’re even colder. When she whistles at the spot on your underwear, your thighs squeeze shut… for 000.3 seconds before she pries them open again. 

“Stop I’ll fucking cry—“

“Cry about what? That’s so fucking hot. You’re so cute, baby.” 

“Bro I wanna die—“

Sevika rolls her eyes, “Bust one last time at least, damn.” 

“Can we make it quick please I’m already on the verge—“

“Of cumming?” Sevika purrs.

“Of suicide—“

Vi’s in hysterics. You shouldn’t be this fucking funny. She watches you and Sevika go back and forth with tears in her eyes. 

You bite, “Wonky ass foreplay—“

“I’ll strangle you—“

“I’ll like it—“

Both of you are fucking stupid. Neither of you notice Vi tugging your panties down. She almost starts drooling at the sight of your pussy. Swallows down the lump of saliva before it can drip down her chin. You’re wet and throbbing and pretty and you smell like heaven. 

You gasp when two curious fingers separate your sticky lips; strings of slick cling to Vi’s digits. Sevika watches with an insatiable hunger.

“What do you like?” Vi whispers, and you shrug. 

“I dunno, I’m new here.” 

She rolls her eyes, “I mean what do you do when you touch yourself? 

“I don’t do that.” 

“Never?” Both girls exclaim. 

You shake your head. “I tried once and nothing happened so I just ate spaghetti and went to bed.” 

“Were you wet?” 

Vi’s forbearing with her inquiries, but still, you’re on the fucking spot and you might start sneezing from anxiety. They’re too patient with you; Maybe you’ve been misreading how they were in bed this entire time. You were expecting them to be knuckles deep in every available hole by now. 

You’ve never been so nervous, and for you, that’s saying a lot. “I don’t remember, it was years ago.” 

“You’ve never used toys or anything?” 

“I… No.”

Sevika stares at Vi, and Vi at Sevika, and you at the wall. 

Your thighs twitch when velvet nuzzles at them, Vi’s voice deep as the ocean. “I’m gonna try something, tell me if you like it and I’ll keep going… okay?” 

You can’t formulate a response but your head bounces in approval. A finger applies the gentlest of pressure on your clit and you expel a wheeze. 

“Okay?” Sevika hums from above you, a hand easing underneath your hoodie to massage your breast. 

“Ye-ah—“

“Sit up for me, honey,” She whispers and you obey so she can creep in behind you, your back resting against her chest. Both her hands rub at your chest this time, her fingers massage your nipples while Vi strokes your clit in slow, teasing circles. 

“How’s this feel, babe?” 

“G— good! Great… h-hooray?” How do pornstars dirty talk so eloquently? You’re literally fucking dying right now. Sevika laughs to herself in your neck and your chest burns. 

“Yeah? And this?” She utters right before pressing in, flicking you from side to side and your core squeezes tight. You’re dripping and she watches so closely. 

“Oh fuck—“

“There she is, good girl, just feel what she’s givin’ you.” Sevika rasps against your shoulder. 

You are feeling and it’s too much for your body to comprehend. Your brain’s never been this focused on one thing. On one feeling, especially one this enjoyable. It’s so good it’s so good you love your fucking girlfriend—

“Tell me when you’re gonna cum?” Vi says against your soft skin

“Uhh…? I— oh god—“

“Getting there, baby? Feel how tight you’re getting? I can see it.”

2 ragged inhales and your eyes roll back and your jaw slacks and your nose tickles oh shit—

“Yeah, yeah, give it to me, c’mon—“

ACHOO!

Your thigh squeezes shut when euphoria overtakes your entire system; thighs clamping shut around Vi’s wrist while she giggles and rubs out your pleasure with ease because she’s stronger than you. Your initial efforts of staying as silent as possible were in vain because you’re squealing your little head off. Sevika rests back on her hands and watches like a hawk while you thrash and clench and leak all over her roommate’s hand. 

“Good job. Felt nice, hm?” 

You struggle to nod because you’re still cumming so hard and her fingers won’t cease on you. Your thighs stick together with your wetness. 

“I’m still eating you out, you know that, right?”

Your whines of approval sound wounded. 

You couldn’t see it, but when Vi finally pulled her hand from you, slurping noises swiftly followed, alongside Sevika’s hums of satisfaction. 

Mentally preparing for your burial. 

—

Vi might be obsessed with you. 

She’s back in her original position between your thighs — with Sevika this time because she’s greedy — and fuck she’s never been so antsy to give head. She loves it and she loves getting it even more… at least she thought so. The aliens could come crashing down from the clouds and her first focus would still be getting you to soak her face. 

You’re fully undressed now, minus a sock that slipped off some fucking where but she doesn’t give a fuck. She’s so desperate to touch you again. It plagues her mind; stuffed with everything that she’s learned about you thus far. You sneeze before you orgasm for fucks sake that’s the cutest shit ever —

Can I?

She’s asking you and you’re whispering yes, please and fuck you moan so pretty when she first glides her tongue on you. Sevika allows her to ease you into the feeling, but she stays close enough to see every drop of slick that glides on Vi’s tongue. You’re so noisy and she loves that. All she can think about is how loud you’d be with your face in her pillow and your hands behind your back while she —

Vi! Violet! I’m cumming again! 

You’re a fucking dream. An insane fucking freaky ass dream. 

If anyone were to walk past your room right now, they’d be appalled at the ruckus that permeates through your space; sloppy sucking noises and encouraging praises and dehumanizing name calling that makes you grind your hips faster. You’re nearly riding her fucking face. 

Vi wishes she could see you in entirety; memorize every thrust and wriggle you give into her face, drowning her in your scent and juices and everything she could ever want in this moment. You’re exactly what she needed; a pliant distraction. You turn her mind off so easily. 

Sevika’s greedy and selfish as she raises one of your legs up with ease. You fall back onto the mattress with your back arched to the skies, a cracked wail squeezing from your lungs when another tongue smushes against your clit. Sevika sucks hard at your clit when Vi’s tongue swirls down to meet your entrance. The eager muscle wastes no time to shove inside and catch whatever bursts from you. 

She moves on autopilot; eases one finger past your pulsing heat and your legs start to shake. The digit curls deep inside, plunges into you with vigor and determination to get you there, hits a spot that almost lands her a kick in the back of her head, but she catches you; curls an arm around your thigh to keep you still. 

And the night — or afternoon or morning, none of you remember, continues like that until you’re drained completely dry and your body contracts from memory. 

Hours pass when Sevika and Vi finally start tonguing each other down for your viewing pleasure, and it starts all over again. 

—

r/AskReddit

u/artkiller       1s

2 butches are sleeping next to me rn… 

never let a hoe tell you to stop following your dreams. i’ve been following mine for almost 3 years and now they’re sleep next to me…. 

#HAPPYPRIDE

[respectthepetty]

The Loyal Pin - Episode 9

I love that this episode started with one color-coded brother being so happy after a night of partying.

And the other one losing his color because he is internally freaking out trying to convince himself that Anin basically had sex with her best friend on the lawn for everyone and God to see because she was drunk. Keep telling yourself that lie, dear brother. I used that excuse in college too. Alcohol just makes people gay . . . er. Sure, Jan.

But we all know Anin is sexing up her girlfriend, SOBER, so now it's time for a color-coded beach trip, so TV can lie to us again that sex in the sand is romantic and not torturous. However, the skin is awfully soft after rolling around it in for a bit, so I guess beach sex has its perks beyond, you know, it being sex.

But the heteros do not understand the queer agenda and immediately start wrecking Pink Person Pin and Blue Beauty Anin's beach sex plans.

However, Ueangfah is color-coded yellow, and Pranot is in shorts, so even though it's looking bad for the lesbians, the bisexuals are thriving, and the bisexuals are ME!

Shesus Christ! Nevermind, nobody is doing well now that Kuea has shown up IN BLUE! This is actually why I stopped writing this recap because I was livid when I saw this mediocre man wearing Anin's color. The audacity of a cis hetero man will never stop amazing me. It's cool that he picked up that Pin likes her love interest in blue but he missed one important factor in that equation. HE NEEDS TO BE A GIRL! All that money, yet he can't buy a damn clue.

Yet the girls are still trying to Live, Laugh, and Love under these terrible color-coded conditions!

But Aon is playing these color-coded games too in order to get Anin's attention and wearing versions of pink and purple throughout the trip. Basically the love rivals are waging a strategic color-coded war, and if I wasn't so pissed off at them, I'd be really proud of the wardrobe department for acing this assignment and earning its paycheck.

But I AM pissed because these rivals are doing the most to get in between the ladies and make color-coded fetch happen when IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN, GRETCHEN!

One of them even decides to go as far as DROWNING to get attention! This is like the extreme version of "instigating a fight so his hands can be on you" but because we are dealing with lesbians it's "drowning in the beach trip so her lips can be on you." And I know she didn't do it on purpose, but the structural sexism in this scene with all the men refusing to give her CPR because it wasn't proper is why feminism is for EVERYONE! There is nothing inherently sexual about lips touching lips, yet even when SAVING A LIFE, everyone made that shit sexual (INCLUDING PIN!) and I'm looking at a show set in the 50s (60s?) and feeling like it's about 2024, so now I'm pissed about it.

And this is how I know Aon is not showing her true colors because unlike everyone else who has a consistent color, she is flip flopping like those fish she almost drowned with in the water.

But it doesn't matter because now that Aon is out of commission, the girls can get a moment together to try to make beach sex happen. Spoiler: It doesn't happen because Pia is not about that "Be Gay, Do Crime" life (fun fact: public sex on a beach is illegal in most places, like Thailand).

Which means the beach sex is on hold AGAIN because the color-coded brothers must make sure they throw a party (which Pranot does not plan and it's probably why everyone hates it!), and it also means that the love rivals are at it again with the color-coded shenanigans starting with Aon, in purple.

And now Kuea enters in blue.

But my sunshine Ueangfah is looking hella fine and doing her best to bring a smile to Anin's face who is pressed that Pink Person Pin is dancing with Kuea even though it was her own color-coded brother WHO IS A PRINCE that keeps forcing Pin to do this little song-and-dance, literally. I'm gonna grab my girl Ueangfah and head out because she deserves better and by 'better,' I mean me.

Pranot is judging this entire shitshow safely from his seat because 1) he did not plan any of this so this is not his shitshow, and 2) unlike these other men, he knows better than to get in the way of lesbians and beach sex, so he makes sure to keep his ass seated and not ask none of them to dance instead opting to down this awful wine that he knows damn well does not pair well with the food. He is a king among peasants.

But because of the hard work of Prik and Pia, the real VIPs here, the color-coded girls in love finally get beach sex!

AND A PROPOSAL! A sand version of the pink sasa bunny that Anin gave Pin with A 💗 P on it holds the ring that will forever tie Anin to Pin's heart (and will cause them a lot of problems, but those are tomorrow's problem, not today's).

The girls' skin is soft (from beach sex). They are glowing (from beach sex). And they are practically engaged! All is well and they can now live happily ever after.

That is until this Blue Bastard pops back up.

He instantly clocks the ring on Pin's finger and instead of minding his own business, he apparently will make it everyone's problem because the man is determined to marry a lesbian who doesn't love him nor want him, and I am once again standing in front of y'all screaming that feminism benefits everyone including men who think they need a wife to be complete.

Pia and Prik pick up what I'm dropping off, and are backing up their girl in this battle for Pin's hand as they wear blue . . . and orange . . .

And this is where some of y'all really lost your minds because Anin wore yellow thinking it might have been connected to my babygirl Ueangfah, but have no fear because I offered a Wild Ass Theory way back in the second episode.

As the color-coded girls in love age and inherit more adult responsibilities, I think they will incorporate another color.

And those colors are the ones that belong to their mothers.

The girls have been living in a nice little bubble in Pine Palace, but Anin is a princess and Pin is not, so the expectations for their positions in life are coming at them quicker than they want to believe. Pin's mom has mentioned several times that both girls must marry, and Anin's brothers have made similar comments, so even though the girls are growing closer, I think harsh reality is already sneaking into their plans and the colors might be telling us that.

So I think the girls need to be careful or they will turn into the mothers, and because I think Pin's mom is a lesbian who vowed to be the perfect woman rather than love someone else after status tore her and her girlfriend apart, the truth might be closer than I realize, and her color-coded story is similar to the girls in more way than one.

But the colors could all be meaningless, and I could just be crazy. Who knows, you know?

[eleanor-bradstreet]

Thoughts on Bridgerton season 3

No one asked, but putting it out there. (Written after viewing part 1.)

The Good

Polin - it’s their season after all. There is plenty of them and a lot of scenes pulled right from the book. I don’t think Colin/Newts is all that charismatic or great at acting tbh, but Pen/Nic is carrying the season. Seeing through her eyes, there is a compelling story of self-acceptance, struggle and romance. I was whooping whenever she got steamy with her man.

Debling - wonderfully acted and such an interesting addition to the ton, I love this character. He is so kind and honest, he deserves the world.

Francesca & John - Hannah Dodd is doing a wonderful job. We get to see the one and only shy Bridgerton, which is novel. Her odd chemistry with John is magical and I am already fucked up about them. I’m more invested in them than Polin 😅

Eloise - we are seeing more facets of Eloise which is wonderful. That she is willing to look deeper at peoples’ true character - including Cressida and Pen, though the reconciliation with Pen isn’t finalized yet. Cressida also makes Eloise check herself, her assumptions and privileges which is crucial for her development. She’s growing this season.

The Cowpers - redemption arc for Cressida incoming! We are learning that her bitchiness stems from a competitive nature, which she feels she must have to secure a good match thanks to pressures from her awful parents. This is interesting in its own right but please please please have Sophie also being mistreated in their household. That would be the bow on top.

Marcus Anderson - hello handsome! He is wonderfully acted and immediately has a warm spark with Violet. The mystery is built as to why Lady D is so aggravated by him. What has he done in the past that makes her wary of him?

The music - great instrumental covers of on-point pop songs and revisiting a few tried and true Bridgerton original themes.

The Bad

Kanthony - But only for part 1. I'm guessing they had to work around JB's busy shooting schedule, but it sucks they found a lame way to essentially write them out of episodes 2-4. I'm happy to see from the trailer there will be more of them in part 2.

Benedict - for fucks sake, he does nothing. Season 2 might as well not have happened. Not only is he not sad nor frustrated with Anthony about art school, he has no introspection or personal development in part 1. He’s just shoved in the background again, making sassy little comments and fucking a random lady. Where is this ‘crucial role’ the showrunner mentioned? What ‘comes to a head’ for him as Luke keeps alluding to? All of his material must happen in part 2 because there is nothing in part 1.

The fucking Featheringtons - I know the entail is a plot line set up by season 2, but getting into microscopic detail about the sex lives of the elder two Featherington sisters is not the comic relief the show thinks it is. It actually makes me nauseous. The whole ‘race to produce an heir’ could have been a single line explanation from Portia and screen time with the Featherington couples could have been spent on more Benedict.

The sex - part 2 better be mind blowing because Nicola’s claim that Polin has ‘won the steamy battle’ is unfounded based on the first four episodes. Okay we’ve got Anthony and Benedict each with a scene between the sheets kissing ladies but not a single Bridgerbum to be seen. The claims of ‘threesomes’ and ‘lesbian sex’ are extremely generous. It’s 5 seconds of Colin kissing sex workers and them peformatively kissing each other. I know we have the mirror scene coming in part 2 which threatens to blow the roof off anything Saphne and Kanthony did but thus far, I am unimpressed. It feels more buttoned up than ever.

Now, I have also watched part 2 in its entirety. Without spoiling any details, see below the cut for a general note.

Part 2 contains some MAJOR twists that I feel are going to fracture the fandom. Brace yourselves.

[teamrocket9]

I've been binging Pitch Meeting videos so now I have to write a pitch meeting for one of my fics, sorry, that's how my brain works.

*A prince to forget a princess Pitch Meeting*

ao3: so you have a fanfic for me?

me: yes sir I do. It's called "A prince to forget a princess".

ao3: oooh and what's that about?

me: well this is a Mario Movie fic, and in that movie it was established that Bowser is in love with princess Peach, right? So I kinda have to make him get over her.

ao3: i get it, and who's going to be this prince Bowser falls for in the fic?

me: Luigi

ao3: but Luigi is not a prince

me: oh I know

ao3: but then why the title?

me: because I like how it sounds

ao3: well okay then

me: so anyway this starts some time after the movie ended and Mario and Peach are dating now. And Luigi is very happy for them but he's also like "huh I better find more friends if I don't want to be third wheeling all the time"

ao3: understandable. So who does he talk to?

me: Bowser

ao3: the monster that threw him into a cage and almost killed him? Why would Luigi do that?

me: because I ship them

ao3: that works

me: so Bowser is in jail and he's very bored and lonely so he tells Luigi to keep coming to see him and that's how they'll end up spending time together. And then one day Daisy is going to show up!

ao3: she's from the games!!

me: she is sir. And she's Luigi's most obvious love interest so we're going to mention how they'd make a good couple but then it's going to be revealed that Daisy is actually a lesbian here.

ao3: nice. So we're going to have a lesbian character as the main character's best friend just to support him but never to be the main character herself, I hope that's not like a trend or anything

me: yeah me too

ao3: so what else is going to happen?

me: well Bowser is going to escape the prison!

ao3: oh no

me: and he's going to kidnap Luigi!

ao3: oh no, i bet it's going to be difficult for Luigi to escape from Bowser

me: actually it's going to be super easy, barely an inconvenience

ao3: oh really?

me: yeah, Bowser is just going to release him immediately

ao3: why?

me: well because he wants to be good now. You see he's already paid his time in jail so he's going to improve as a person and be better now

ao3: but why would he want that? I mean, it didn't seem like the Mushroom Kingdom had any kind of reintegration program, they just shoved him in a tiny cage without even a bathroom and left him there to rot, I feel like Bowser would want to get revenge

me: listen sir I'm gonna need you to get all the way off of my back about that

ao3: oh sorry let me get off of that thing

me: thank you. So all these kingdom leaders start asking Bowser for compensations for the war he started, and they're all going to communicate with Bowser only through Luigi as an ambassador

ao3: why?

me: because I need the fanfic to happen. So then one of the things Peach asks him for is to stop pursuing her in marriage, she's done, she wants him to leave her alone

ao3: understandable

me: yeah but Bowser is going to be very sad about it so Luigi is going to smooch him!

ao3: wait what

me: yeah they're going to fully make out over Bowser's piano

ao3: oh my god. Isn't this still the monster that tried to kill him? Why would Luigi do that?

me: well you see, I saw the movie trailer and it completely changed the chemistry of my brain forever so now I can't ever be convinced that they're not at least a little horny for each other

ao3: oh okay, that makes sense

me: yeah yeah yeah. And then Luigi's going to decide to keep that a secret because it was probably just a one time thing

ao3: i'm guessing it's not a one time thing

me: it's not. And then Daisy is going to find out by randomly commenting how crazy it would be if Luigi and Bowser kissed and Luigi is going to get so flustered that he's going to give it away

ao3: but why would she say that out of nowhere?

me: because i wanted her to know. So now she knows and she's going to constantly fluster Luigi with her inappropriate questions

ao3: oh wow wow wow. Wow.

me: But then one day Luigi is going to have some flashbacks about that time he almost died and Bowser's going to be worried about him and care for him and make Luigi feel better

ao3: aaawwww

me: yeah but Mario is going to worry because Luigi's not coming back but he promised Luigi he'd trust him and in the end that only makes Luigi appreciate his brother more so that's a cute moment between them

ao3: that's cute

me: it is but Luigi is going to feel guilty about Mario worrying about him while he's having a great time kissing Bowser so he's going to tell Mario the truth

ao3: uh oh, how's Mario going to react to that?

me: off screen

ao3: huh, you think that's the best move? Don't you think the readers will be disappointed?

me: maybe. But I've already written three other fics in which Mario finds out about Luigi and Bowser so I just don't feel like doing it again

ao3: oh I get it, sounds like work

me: yeah yeah yeah

ao3: okay so anything else happens?

me: oh yeah actually remember the penguins from the movie? They're still mad with Bowser because he stole their Power Star and they want another one

ao3: but I imagine getting a Power Star for them is going to be very difficult

me: actually, it's going to be super easy, barely an inconvenience

ao3: oh really?

me: yeah, Daisy just finds one

ao3: oh okay

me: and then Bowser is like "okay I gave away all these compensations and even a Power Star so everyone better get off of my back already" and Luigi's like "yeah it's over you're a good guy now"

ao3: well great!

me: yeah so Bowser and Luigi are going to sleep together

ao3: oh my god, wait, is this rated E?

me: this is rated E sir

ao3: you almost fooled me with all the fluff and wacky adventure stuff but this was horny all along

me: it was horny all along, yeah yeah yeah. So they're gonna have a very detailed smut scene

ao3: oh wow wow wow. Wow. Well, that was a fun fanfic...

me: actually it's not done yet

ao3: it's not?

me: no, you see, cause just because some people sleep together it doesn't mean they're in a relationship so now I have to make them get into a relationship together

ao3: oh and how are you going to do that?

me: by changing the entire genre of the fic

ao3: wait what

me: now Peach invites all the kingdom leaders to a Tennis Tournament to celebrate the new peace

ao3: oh so this is a spokon now?

me: yeah because I freaking love spokon

ao3: well okay then

me: so Luigi and Bowser are going to spend more time together, and Mario and Peach are going to start forgiving Bowser...

ao3: this feels draggy

me: also Daisy is going to hook up with Rosalina

ao3: yeah that might as well happen

me: and then Luigi is going to realize he has feelings for Bowser!

ao3: oooh finally, and what's he going to do about that?

me: nothing, because the next day Bowser is going to see Mario and Peach kissing

ao3: oh wow that came out of nowhere

me: actually there was a chapter about their first kiss, they're kind of a side ship here

ao3: oh okay

me: so anyway Bowser's going to be confused because he should be furious with Mario but he's not, and you know what he's going to realize?

ao3: that he's not actually in love with Peach?

me: that he's not actually in love with Peach! And he never really was, because he didn't know her, he just thought she was pretty and fell in love with an idea of her. But do you know who he actually spent time getting to know for real?

ao3: Luigi?

me: Luigi! So he realizes he's in love with Luigi actually

ao3: oh wow wow wow. Wow

me: yeah I'm an amazing writer

ao3: it's not bad. So what's Bowser going to do about these newly discovered feelings?

me: oh you know, what any reasonable person would do. Just propose to Luigi right away in front of all the tournament guests

ao3: oh my god

me: and Luigi tells him they should date first and that's it, everyone lives happily ever after. So what do you think?

ao3: well I think it's a cute fic with a consistent plot, and the movie just came out, so as long as you finish it before the hype dies away it will do very well

me: no problem, sir, I will absolutely finish this soon

*Completion status: fanfic completed in October 2024*

[localsimpissleepy]

Another post about my JD fankids is here

I was thinking if I should post these fankids in order of the Danceverses (based on the JD wiki)

But I decided to post about my battlemode fankids first, since I do have some

Anyways, here they are (I might make a part 2 if I hit the photo limit)

Picrew by Didimdal

Lyn

She/Her

17

(Daughter of Mister Overload & MLJ C3)

I had to okay-

Just like her dad, she's a superhero that has lightning powers

But also like her other dad, she has a love for music and wishes to make it big in the music intrasty

As to why I made her look…i guess a bit mean, was because i originally had her have problems showing facial emotions, and prefers to keep to herself (her dead face would look like she's annoyed but she's not)

But now that i saw the One Last Time map…i'm making her have this look cause she's kinda depressed about her parents being divorced, kinda being a therapist to both her dads, all while having to deal with it all alone

What can I say? I love angst

But don't worry, cause i'm still kinda salty about that map, MLJ C3 & Mister Overload will get back together in this au (which will make Lyn feel better)

Kinda debating if i should make a Break Free & Mister Overload fanchild to add to the angst…idk

Another thing, I like to think that instead of having terrible bad luck like her dad, she just makes terrible things happen around her instead of hurting her (another reason why she stays isolated from others)

Anyways, since MLJ C3 & Rasputin are friends, so are Lyn & Viktor (my Rasputin & The Bride fankid)

Their good friends (its like that meme where the two quiet kids were best friends without saying a single word lol)

Outfit ideas:

Anyways, I think I'm gonna start giving them voice claims, I'll probably go back to my other fankid posts and give them voices

Anyways, Lyn's voice claim: Mermista (She-Ra) or Zooble (The Amazing Digital Circus)

Picrew by shima.h

Callie

She/Her

17

(Daughter of Maybel & Joshua)

I recently made her so her summary is gonna be short

Just like Maybel, she's very energetic and loves to spend a lot of time on social media

She's always high positive about everything (rarely gets mad) and wants to bring out the best of everyone

And idk, something about Beauty And A Beat makes Joshua seem chill? So is Callie (she sees death right in front of her, and all she does is smile and wave lol)

Thinking of making her & the rest of the battle mode fankids be some sort of friend group, she's the most social of the group, she besties with Lyn, the less social of the group (debating if Lesbians or not/hj)

Outfit ideas:

Voice claim: Mei (Monkie Kid)

And if anyone wants, feel free to ask questions about them if you want

Part 2 might come soon!

[hadesoftheladies]

alright, some misogynist and ableist goons on this site keep bothering me about my jkr post because they cannot fathom the fact that calling out bias doesn't necessarily equal endorsing. so i'm going to be super nice about it and put all the facts here for the fact-enjoyers.

let's go over the claims made against jkr by testerical twitterheads, because everything to do with trans politics regarding jkr is just extremist white liberals reaching.

Claim: JK Rowling is friends with Matt Walsh. False!

Claim: JK Rowling is friends with Kellie-Jay Keen. Ambiguous! (She has agreed with Kellie-Jay Keen on several issues and advocated for her based on false allegations about nazism concerning Kellie-Jay Keen. Men-rights activists made shit up about her endorsing nazi salutes at her women's campaign. also, JK Rowling has agreed with many people whose politics she does not wholly endorse, like matt walsh. agreeing with someone on an opinion or fact, does not mean you agree with their politics.)

Claim: JK Rowling denies the Holocaust. False! (For proof, see this thread. JK Rowling does not DENY that the Holocaust happened, but that trans people were specifically targeted by the Nazis. Some argue that this makes her a Holocaust denier based on some German article, but I find the term muddies the water. It can be an offense, a grievous one, to deny the Nazis did something when they did, but calling JKR a Holocaust denier makes people think she doesn't believe the Holocaust happened when she absolutely does.

Additionally, the topic as to whether trans people were explicitly targeted by Nazis has had a fair share of scholarly debate. They may have faced some measure of harassment, but being specifically targeted is also a reach considering how little historical evidence we have of transvestites being outrightly persecuted, at least, to anywhere near the same degree homosexual, black or Jewish people were. Cross-dressing certificates were legal in Nazi Germany, for example, and I have found no record of a transvestite suffering things like forced sterilization. This article briefly mentions a German author who thought that the Nazis would finally take care of "the transvestite problem" because now they could be sent to concentration camps and castrated there, but there is still no record of any transvestite having undergone such a thing. Furthermore, of the examples of transvestites that were taken to concentration camps, both of them were homosexual, so it would be more accurate to say they were targeted for being homosexual, especially when you look at why they were arrested. On the other hand, some transvestites ended up in concentration camps, but it was likely due to the fact that they were Jewish rather than trans.

It is also very significant that in the German Republic, transvestites had permits while homosexuals did not!

JKR might be denying that they burned trans books. Unfortunately for her, she is wrong. Transvestite research WAS targeted by the Nazis. Again, not much is known about transvestites during this time and I have found no solid numbers. It most definitely didn't happen on the same scale as what gay, lesbian, Jewish or Roma people were suffering through--and why would it, transvestites weren't a large population, also i have found no record of transvestites being forced to wear pink triangles, like homosexual men were--, though gay men and transvestites seemed to get more leniency if they were "Aryan." )

Claim: JK Rowling directly funds government suppression. (Which government? Source? I'll make an assumption and guess that you're referring to her 1 million pound donation to the Better Together anti-Scottish independence campaign? Yes, she has. But she respects the opinions of those who disagree with her on the subject. She's also donated to the Labour Party, which is more centre-left politically.)

Claim: JK Rowling has financially supported groups that repress Scotland's right to independence. True! (She also voted "No!" on Scottish independence).

Claim: JK Rowling is gunning to be a Neo-Nazi. False! (She has not expressed any explicit Nazi views! Please tap the source to see what Nazi views actually are! JK Rowling has been explicitly leftist in her politics and anti-racist.)

Claim: JK Rowling is a fascist. False! (She does not identify as fascist and does not have any explicit fascist views. Unlike the people burning and trying to ban her books, which contain very little of her politics.)

i don't worship JKR, i don't even agree with a good chunk of her politics. especially when it comes to her sympathy for israel. she's a millionaire white woman, and i am a born and raised african middle-class person. we won't have many politics in common. but unlike you lot, i don't need to be misogynistic or ableist in order to disagree with a woman. resorting to misogyny, ableism, racism or homophobia just because you hate someone is still misogyny, ableism, racism and homophobia. i wouldn't call a transperson the "t-word" even though i don't profess their gender faith. because i recognize that using the "t-word" on a trans-identified person that's done or said disgusting things like, idk, andrea long chu or hunter schaffer (are these your leaders? seriously?), saying that word will still hurt trans-identified people who didn't do or say those horrible things unnecessarily.

see what i did there? i read things up for myself, added sources from people i disagreed with politically, discussed the valid history of people who i disagree with without resorting to dehumanizing language, and called out the celebrity you lot think are "my hero" without being a hypocrite!

class dismissed.

now fuck off you rancid misogynists and go back to snivelling about how righteous you are to your echo chamber.

also, radblr girlies feel free to reblog or link this for all the anti-jkr posts that make any of these claims or keep trying to bait you with this braindead discourse to save yourselves the effort. love you and muah! :)

[j4zz4lop3]

You know what? I have more unpopular lgbt opinions. I am going to get "pressed" and this is going to be long. Because I'm a dramatic person, deal with it

The fact that you identify as something doesn't mean you understand what it is.

Source: I used to identify as heterosexual.

I keep seeing people define bi, pan, omni, and poly as this

Bi - attraction to men and women

Pan - attraction to all genders with no preference

Omni - attraction to all genders with a preference

Poly - attraction to multiple but not all genders

Now, here's the thing. Pansexual and omnisexual in these definitions are completely sensible and understandable definitions. Poly and bi are, however not.

You know why?

Because the gender spectrum doesn't look like this

It doesn't even look like this, which I have seen before

No, it look s like this, and guess what

This is all nonbinary

Moreover, gender expression ≠gender and sex ≠ gender, and nonbinary people don't have to be androgynous to be nonbinary, just like men can be feminine and women can be masculine

To make an example, I will use Demi Lovato

Now, Demi is nonbinary, uses she/they pronouns, and is, let's not kid ourselves, attractive

A lesbian could look at Demi and say, "Well, I'm a woman who likes women, and I find this nonbinary feminine person attractive." Does that make her no longer a lesbian? No, because she's attracted to someone that she sees as a woman, it does mean that homosexuality includes nonbinary people, and is nmlnm, not wlw, that's pretty commonly accepted. Now, if this could happen to masculine enbys (I'm not making an example again you get it) and a bisexual is attracted to both men and women, why would they not be attracted to nonbinary people? Because by all means, if you are into both masculinity and femininity, you should be a) also attracted to the mix of the 2, androgyny, as it is both of those mixed, or if you're not, at least be attracted to femininity and masculinity separately, because nonbinary people can be either.

The definition of bisexual given above is implying all nonbinary people are androgynous and everyone who doesn't not pass as androgynous is a man or a woman.

This is why nonbinary people are included in all orientations

And if so, it's not a far strech to say that the definition of polysexuality doesn't make sense because if you can't get rid of all nonbinary people from any sexuality, you are left with this

Attracted to all but men - lesbian/ straight

Attracted to all but women- gay/straight

Attracted all but nonbinary people - transphobic and doesn't see nonbinary people as nonbinary unless they're androgynous

So how do i feel these should be defined?

Bi - attraction to all genders with or without preference

Poly - not a thing. Like generally, we don't need it.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk and all my fellow enbys: Remember, you don't own anyone androgyny, happy pride guys <333

[fantasiacafecat]

I noticed I didn't post any LGBTQ+ stuff or any Skyrim modded Follower content in more than a week. So why not make both right now?

Lgbtq+ headcanons with the Dovahkrew

These are Sexuality and romantic orientations not gender orientation headcanons. Sorry. These are also MY headcanons so if they don't match up with your headcanons it's not personal so please don't get mad at me. I am curious to see your headcanons as well though.

Inigo- Heteroflexible. He is most definitely interested in women and I always head canon that after the events of Skyrim he does settle down with the woman of his dreams who just happens to own a sweet roll shop. But I also feel like he would definitely point out a man's beauty. He seems like a very comfortable in his Sexuality kind of guy.

Lucien- Questioning Asexual Biromantic. He seems more interested in knowledge and learning other things than a relationship. And if someone did ask about his orientations then I feel like he wouldn't be able to answer that because he doesn't really try to experiment with romance of any kind.

Kaidan- Bisexual with maybe a fem preference (including feminine or men). I also see him as Pansexual because honestly I don't think he really cares about what gender his lover is.

Auri- Sapphic or Lesbian. I mean her creator basically made it Canon that she Prefers women.

Rumarin- Panflux 100%. Gender doesn't get in the way when it comes to any type of attraction to one another.

Vilja- I really only know her from a video of Inigo dialogue they have together. If I had to make a guess I would say she's straight or Pan, but I'm leading more into Straight.

Sofia- Bi with a big male preference.

Hoth- I really wish there were more videos and content on his commentary in Skyrim because I don't have him, but I'm interested him so much that I'd love to know more about his character. I feel like he doesn't use labels and gender isn't that much of an issue when it comes to love.

Taliesin- Pansexual. I mean come on its THE Talisman.

Gore (aka bby girl)- Questioning Omnisexual. It just feels right to me

Caryalind- I can't remember if rabbit said his sexuality was Demiromantic Asexual. I know he is Ace (or at least on the Ace spectrum) but I can't remember is they anything about being demi. I think he's Demiromantic.

Lucifer- Polysexual but I feel like he does have a male preference though I could be very very wrong. It's so funny because I play with him a lot on Skyrim but barely know anything about him. He holds grudges, he's very secretive (good on him because i would be too if i was in his situation), and he loves argonians. He seems to look up to Xelzaz and Inigo (and in some sense he does seem to be very enthusiastic when first meeting Nebarra until he realizes he doesnt like his personality) a lot which is what fueled my belief that he's maybe Achillean (Sapphic but for masculine terms instead of feminine).

Nebarra- I 100% believe that he refuses to use any labels. I think he might lean toward women a bit more, but that would only be because of how altmer are only raised to make the perfect child, so opposite sex relationships are probably the most common in the Summerset Isles. His fixation with Niranye and past relationship with Camia shows that. He doesn't seem Asexual because he doesn't hide the fact that he does enjoy the idea of doing the naughty naughty. His commentary on Dibella, Dibella Sybil quest, in the Night to Remember he says how he hopes we got to experience the Dibellan arts, and how he jokes about being Lucifer's father just prove that.

Xelzaz- Don't get mad at me, but I think he's straight. He says when hes ready he's like to marry a female argonian, and the only other time he's fallen I love was with another girl. I don't think he's asexual, but I think he definitely isn't very interested in it though we wouldn't really know because he seems very adamant on wanting to keep that part of his life private (as he should I love a king that doesn't feel like he has to tell us his sexual life).

Remiel- Asexual Panromantic. It was already proved Canon that she's Asexual. I had the conversation with her where she tells is she doesn't feel sexual feelings towards someone as she does with romantic feelings (also good on her. Not every relationship needs to have sexual desire in them). She's fallen in love with boys before and didn't seem too mad about being arranged to another man so I don't want to label her as Sapphic. And she does fall in love with you regardless of gender and I haven't seen anything that says she has a preference from the creator so I believe she's panromantic.

Secunda- I really don't know her that much yet as I'm still playing with her. First impressions is telling me panflux though I could be wrong though.

Extra!

Serana- Without the SDA. She always gave me Asexual Biromantic vibes.

Teldryn Sero- Haven't started A serious Teldryn mod yet so I don't know too too much about his personal preferences, but he seems like the type who doesn't really use labels. Though I'm positive he is Bisexual.

Karina- Panromantic Demisexual. It was confirmed by the one who made her @jewelthejaguar742

Arstul- Asexual Omniromantic with a male preference. Talked with @joonjii about it and it's confirmed. However, they also said he could be panromantic with a male preference too but they said my opinion was valid and technically right.

I might post sexuality headcanons for all my dragonborn and follower ocs

[blood-choke]

Hi, I have a question about mc

So, I’m still in the beginning part of chapter two (mostly because I keep pausing to read other variations of my options I choose instead of just playing the game uninterrupted lol); and I was just wondering about some things.

I’ve gone through most asks on her about V and the way she treats mc when mc doesn’t go her way and I sort of understand her aggressiveness though it’s still triggering as I’ve not really seen the good parts, cuz my mc doesn’t trust her and finds her secretive nature suspicious; but I wonder like, was mc a bad person before entombment?

Like obvi everyone isn’t black and white and has grey areas in personality, but in the beginning Val just seems so triggered (?) that mc is alive again and here again with her. She only seems chill when you pick options that align with what she wants, but outside that, she seems truly disturbed like she needs to take a breather or sth.

This also came to mind cuz of how Hana talks about us TO us. Like saying how she expected us to not be like Val and her seeming disappointed that we were similar to Val, in that scene were we discover phones for the first time. Like, is that just cuz of the choice that prompted her jealousy, or is that because of how mc was a person before?

I hope I constructed those questions well lol, but it just makes me wonder if certain ways they react towards the mc are just cuz of how they are a people or cuz of how mc was as a person. Cuz it seems like she and Val had a pretty turbulent relationship; was that due to their personalities or the times they were in? I feel like that’ll be answered as the story goes on, but yeah; I do wonder if mc’s previous personality majorly influences how H and V act towards us.

this is not solely directed at you anon but i have gotten a lot of asks that essentially boil down to "who is the Correct one in this situation" and i've been kinda vague or ignoring the messages because it goes against the whole point of the story, but i've received enough questions like this i'm just going to do a blanket response to explain what my intention is with writing this and why there will be no straight answers to most of these questions.

i'll put it under a cut because it's going to be long (and i guess if you want to avoid potential spoilers). i'm not going to get into details, mainly just the overarching themes that i'm trying to communicate through the narrative and with characters like the mc and Valentina.

first, to start, let me talk about Valentina:

Valentina is written in a very intentional way. she is meant to be erratic and hypocritical and not very nice. she is hundreds of years old, and at this point nearly the entire last century of her life was spent in a controlling, abusive relationship. she is going to be both defensive and aggressive because she's still in a lot of pain and struggling to work through it. she has trust issues, she thinks everyone is using her for her money, she is very paranoid and sensitive. she, as the kids say, needs therapy. this does not absolve her of her poor treatment of Hana and the mc currently, but i hope this explains it better. she is meant to be a polarizing and challenging character.

i've said a few times now that you are never going to know who is telling the truth about Standard, you're never going to get a moment in game where it tells you exactly who is Right or Wrong. i've written Valentina the way i have because yes, you are supposed to doubt her, but also i'm a bit astounded by how many people seem to just have no sympathy for her at all (again not directed at you anon but just in general.) while you're never going to know if it was her idea or not, if she chose Standard or not, or even really know what happened between her and Julien, the indisputable facts are that she, as a lesbian, had to marry a man out of desperation and was forced to be his wife and daughter for nearly 90 years. she is not going to be well adjusted after this. she is not going to want to talk about this. she has valid reasons for being reluctant to share the horrible things that happened to her, as well as being a little suspicious.

she is a tragic character. she is the antithesis of the "perfect victim." we will get to have a bit of a "confrontation" with her at the start of the next chapter, and i'm hopeful that this will get across exactly why Valentina is the way she is in the text.

as for her relationship with mc, it has always been a bit intense, but they did love each other genuinely before. it's why mc did what they did to end up entombed in the first place. i would blame a lot of the problems of their relationship previously on the time period they were in. it wasn't easy for either of them. like i said before, being a vampire was not a get out of jail free card. it's been hinted at but mc and Valentina were living in poor conditions until the 1910s, where they finally started getting a foothold, by trapping and killing men and with mc themself dressing up as a man. but then what happened, happened, and mc was entombed in the 1920s.

was mc a bad person? i mean they very much did murder people along with Valentina. it's up to you how you feel about that. she murders people now in the demo. she's a vampire, she doesn't really have the same ethics as we do. was she bad to Valentina? sometimes. Valentina was bad to her, too. were they "toxic"? maybe. mc doesn't remember, and honestly Valentina doesn't remember that much either.

the mc waking up with no memory, while a convenient plot device in an IF game like this, was also done intentionally. you're never going to know if the mc was really a "bad person" though playing through you can probably feel that the mc does suspect that they were - is it true, or is this an insecurity around their butchness, a fear of her own masculinity? we don't know. part of the narrative is the mc reconciling this fact, as well as understanding that either way they can choose to be better - she's been given a second chance. she does not have to be a certain way because of who she is - the parallels being drawn between her and Standard are there to acknowledge this negative view of butches as just "men lite" as well as this bioessentialist idea that masculinity = bad. but just because the mc is butch does not mean she will end up like Standard or Atlas or Julien. and those three aren't bad just because they're men, they're bad because they choose to be bad and abuse their power over marginalized people. this is something that will be expanded upon as the story progresses and mc gets more comfortable in their identity and we see more of the council, particularly Sasha and Cassius.

and now with Hana, she's never met the mc before, so she kind of has this preconceived idea of her, and you do get that comment both because she's a bit jealous but also because she's afraid of the mc's jealousy. if you're at the start of ch2 you may have not had the conversation with Hana yet, but her irritation comes from the fear that you will get jealous of her and want to shove her out, despite her close relationship with Valentina, and this being her home, too. she assumes you're asking because you're trying to "sus her out" and decide whether you're going to align as friends or enemies. she says you're like Valentina in that regard because, like we touched on, Valentina is very paranoid and jealous.

to be clear i do understand the game is early on, we're only on ch3, so i don't expect readers to be able to magically intuit exactly what i'm writing (some of the stuff about mc is impossible to know at this stage). but i cannot stress enough that everyone in this story can be considered "bad" in some way, and you're not going to get a eureka moment where everything is clarified. it's meant to be messy and confusing. i'm never going to outright say "this character is the One True Villain, and this character is the Righteous one." hopefully this does clear a few things up, though, and better helps you (and everyone else that has been asking) understand what's going on, and what the deal is with both the mc and Valentina.

[arielsojourner]

So in Star Trek the Next Generation 5x21 Episode "The Perfect Mate" the actress who will go on to be Jean Grey has her first debut as a mutant metamorph Kamala, who becomes the perfect spouse to whomever she bonds to. I liked the episode when I saw it as a kid. I rewatched this episode today and now that I know I'm ace and may or may not be aro, it is a really weird episode. Some of the weirdness:

Kamala never interacts with any woman. Dr. Crusher is quick to argue for her rights but never actually TALKS with her! And if Kamala is so lonely why isn't she allowed to talk to other women? Probably to avoid lesbian makeouts, but if Kirk could kiss Uhura, why not Crusher and Kamala? Even if we were pretending everyone was straight, why couldn't she just bond with Crusher and Troi and have an emotional conflict over doing her duty without just being horny for everyone man she meets.

Kamala empathically bonds with Picard not the man she needs to bond with to stop a war, her husband doesn't care about marrying her until he sees her and then seems to be in lust with her, and bonding to Picard makes her resolve to go through with the arranged marriage as a loveless duty even stronger. So does that mean she is Picardromantic an Picardsexual, but will never romantically love her husband but is fine having sex with him?

And then there is a throwaway line that men are frequently born metamorphs but women only once every 7 generations. What happens to the men I ask? Kamala was raised like royalty. What about the men? Inquiring minds want to know how that even works in their society? How highly sought after are these men?

I guess this whole rambling post is because I watched this episode with new eyes and have so many questions. And then I thought, what if there was an asexual character? Even better an aroace character? And I thought of how many shows or movies or episodes conflicts could be resolved if there was only an aro/ace/aroace character.

And then Data is chosen to be Kamala's chaperone since she can't entice him physically (since she is super horny) and she cannot read him with her empathy. She can't be trapped in her room with no friends (and no woman wants to see her apparently) so Data is the answer to "protect" her from her own libido and the libido of others. So are we to read Data as aroace?

(Do we consider Data ace or aroace? I never thought of it before. I think based on the season one episode with Tasha Yar he is sex neutral at a minimum. We know he is aroace but that is because he doesn't have emotions, but then he gets his emotion chip so then he isn't aro anymore, I think? Does that make him allo? I've headcannoned lots of people ace/aro/aroace but never Data!)

But even if we are to read him as a "Safe" non-allo, Data is entirely incompetent almost portrayed with a childlike simplicity so much so that he can't tell when men are hitting on Kamala and lying to him (I mean I know I am not good at picking up flirting but the show is painfully obvious even for me that Kamala wants to party with the miners hanging out on the ship and can't keep her hands of Riker. I can pick up on what she wants).

But after one near miss in Ten Forward, Data is just fired from his job as chaperone and conversation partner. Why? An aroace character or even an ace or an aro character would be the perfect solution, so to create imaginary conflict we just make the only arguably aroace character incompetent/useless?

But then, I don't really vibe with Data being any sort of ace or aro or aroace representation (his wishes to be "human" = only allos are human). But if he is a standing for an aroace character whom she could be "safe" with, he is ditched as any sort of possible companion. So he just is a failure at keeping people company because she can't get him aroused or make him romantically interested?

I am so confused.

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "Odd Ones In" Episode Followup, Part 3

And so we move on to Part 3, la-dee-dee, la-dee-dee.

Let's go!

I noted this before, but the fact that they now have a special effect for when gadgets are combined so that it makes a new gadget entirely is a fucking hell of an upgrade over the "stacking" we got before, so to speak. Keep it up!

Not gonna lie, I half-expected the man to whip out a fedora and throw it on his head and do the "m'lady" meme.

Opie being in the Mail Department before going to the Department of Help is honestly a move I was not expecting. Though it does make her promotion to the latter department make a lot of sense.

*slowly raises hand*

...

Are they lesbian mo- *bonk x3*

Had I not seen an ice cream shop in a garage with barn doors before, I'd have laughed at this and said this was insanely weird shit.

...Okay, maybe not for Britain...but still.

The audio balancing is so awful here that even I had to cover my ears. And keep in mind that I may have autism, but my hearing sensory issues largely ebbed away a good several years ago and things like vacuums don't bother me as much anymore as they did in childhood.

That being said, I'd scream if I were being served to people so they could eat me, too.

Keep hammering it in, episode, and maybe your audience's feeble minds will be able to comprehend it as real soon enough.

ONE MORE SHOT FOR "ASSISTANT'S CREE-EEEED", ONE MORE SHOT OF WHISKEEEEEEEEEEEY-

The fact that an Un-Scream-inator exists at all raises some very horrifying questions.

It also makes a wonderful prompt for a horror fic...and my gears are turning already.

See, this is amusing to me because Full Circle, a well-known fic in the fandom, had Olive and Oscar being given free meals for saving the world.

In a way...I guess you could say this makes that canon, even if it's just ice cream.

*the most bitter, fake laughter ever seen in man*

I can see now why he's associated with the Terrible Three. The bastard spins stories with enough skill to make it in fucking politics and denies a girl a chance for free ice cream when she just arrived in a new city.

But also, Orla was also involved in a pastry war, does not enjoy traditional cakes (at least not until later), and is one of the "living legend" agents I mentioned earlier. Thread's been cut, and fuck you and your scummy shit, Ozzie.

the man fakes his new friend having trauma from fighting in a war

she eats the ice cream anyway

The irony is rawer than freshly-cut steak.

...I'm sorry, I had to replay this at least five times to make sure I heard what I heard...

The Odd Squad History Book?

There's a fucking history book???

Then what in the ass-laden fuck did we need Olympia's eidetic Odd Squad memory for? What did we need Olive's little historian side for? What kind of ASS-BACKWARDS BOOK IS THIS.

I'm sorry, but I need them to rectify this yesterday because the only way they could possibly add insult to injury is to shout me out directly, and that has a 0.001% chance of actually happening.

Fandom, let's get crackin' on making an actual history book that's accurate. With blackjack, and all 13 living-legend agents!

"I'm Orli with an 'i', from Niagara Falls."

"Which side?"

"I- what?"

"There are two sides, no?"

"...The Canada side."

"Oh."

"Anyone who goes to the New York side is deemed unfit to serve."

"...Oh."

"You don't wanna know."

"No, I don't."

"It seems that all the oddness has been getting under control."

Suddenly the plot of the finale is making a lot more sense to me now. "Strength in numbers" is a very lost concept on this Director and her agents.

"Hold on, that thing was an egg?!"

Suddenly the theory of Opie not being here for very long makes a lot more sense to me now. "Failing a spot check" is a very lost concept on this agent.

Oh, this guy and his dramatic gasps...Lord, I love him.

If Ozzie thinks some random-ass agent named Orly from Texas is the best agent in the world, then do I got about 13 bridges to sell him.

And before I sell him those bridges, I'm knocking down the pedestal he's placed Orly on.

To be fair, she does have a point...but the girl is taking being in a new country a bit too casually for my liking.

You're telling me my dumb lil' American ass can land in Britain and be accustomed to it in the span of a few hours? Off you will fuck. No way in hell.

"Everything seems really quiet here."

Even if I hadn't read "and Captain O unable to help" from the synopsis, I would have already taken this as a red flag shoved into my eye holes.

Oh, the inverse dolly zoom! I don't think we've seen that trick before. Nice to see!

Onom's busy running in place telling them about the egg, and Orli, the cheerful innocent gal she is, decides this is a good time to introduce herself.

Bless her heart, and I mean that so genuinely it even hurts me.

Okay, I wasn't expecting the screaming and running agent-in-training in the background. That's a delightful touch and a great mix-up from the days of yore when background agents, for the most part, just existed.

It's...his name...IS SHORT FOR ONOMATOPOEIA????????

WE ESTABLISHED THAT WAS DR. O'S FULL-ASS NAME IN ODDTUBE FOREVER AND A HALF AGO HOW FUCKING DARE YOU.

This, folks, is why the staff needs fans on the team.

Let's be honest: if this episode weren't all over the place, this would have been a much longer gag than it actually is.

And frankly, I'm glad it wasn't that long at all.

Oh they didn't just seal her in an ice cube -- they sealed her in ice IN THE FUCKING ROOM OF ODDNESS.

For a newly-hatched creature, that is downright fucking sadistic, strong-ass Director or not. At least when Oprah was frozen in an ice cube she was fine. Same goes for Oscar, and same goes for the Mobile Unit agents.

Aaaand another shot of alcohol for "Dance Like Nobody's Watching" ripping!

...mmmmmthworldspsinnign...

Onom is easily my favorite character of the main cast and I haven't even gotten through the entire episode yet. The man is just vibing. He's a chill vibin' man. How can I not love him?

Okay, this is just as sadistic. It's trapping agents in rooms and letting them freeze to death, which is arguably worse than just trapping them unmoving in blocks of ice.

(On to Part 4!)

[strangeswift]

Mike is Graham.

MIKE IS NOT GRAHAM ok listen.

(for anyone clueless this in in reference to a byler but i'm a cheerleader au)

i Understand why you would think mike is graham. but let me tell you why that is wrong. putting a readmore bc i went off

ok first my arguments for will as graham. first of all you people always wanna make mike the edgy one bc finn is cool and he has long hair but listen up. will byers is the one who is into punk music and while they both hold anticonformist ideals will is the one who puts his money where his mouth is while mike is out here "trying to be as normal as possible" (finn's words) by getting a girlfriend, not wanting to play dnd anymore in s3, etc. meanwhile when he asks will if he thought they were never gonna get girlfriends and just play dnd for the rest of their lives, HE SAID YES. okay that is Bold as Hell and very much a graham move. he is still emotionally vulnerable and he still does art, two things that caused people to see him as gay in the past and yet he continues to do them bc that's Who He Is. graham is more masc presenting which would cause her to be seen as gay and at the beginning she is Unapologetically gay, which is way more will than mike. (i could keep going but i won't)

ok now here is why mike is megan. at the beginning of the movie she doesn't know she's a lesbian, she just surrounds herself with girls, and hangs up posters of girls (hello buff dragon poster + the superman obsession), and has a boyfriend she makes out with but doesn't enjoy it (hello mi1even). in My Opinion will realizes that he's gay before mike does (i know we all have different opinions on When he realized). plus i just strongly prefer mike being the one having a Big Gay Realization in fics. AND megan literally rescues graham HELLO PALADIN CODED MUCH SHE LITERALLY SNEAKS INTO THE GRADUATION AND RESCUES HER HELLOOOOOOOOO JUST LIKE MIKE IS ALWAYS OUT TO RESCUE WILL i am not calling will a damsel in distress by any means bc graham certainly isn't. in different ways they save each other. but the heroics are down to megan. WHICH. IS. MIKE.

now here's how the girls family lives would translate. so megan has parents that are avid church goers and they act as if they care So much for megan, but when push comes to shove they abandon her. that said, they're not as outwardly disgusted by her being gay as graham's parents are. graham's dad uses the f slur and is definitely the most lonnie coded of all the parents. but you might be asking "what about graham's mom. joyce would never go along with that" WELL GUESS WHAT GRAHAM'S MOM ISN'T IN THE MOVIE ONLY HER STEP-MOM. so in this universe something happened idk joyce lost custody or . died or something. (don't get mad at me she can't be megan's parents either they also suck. better to have her out of the picture altogether). ok back to megan's parents. so in the movie her dad cares way more about her than her mom does, her mom is just kinda there. so. switch it flip it and reverse it and that's ted and karen. ted is the disinterested father who only offers occasional unhelpful outbursts (i mean come on sitting there silently during the gay intervention then interrupting the dad's gentle speech by yelling "honey we think you're a lesbian" is so ted coded.) while Karen is more playing the role of megan's dad, who is supportive and doting and very "you can tell us anything" Except again, when it comes down to it, they abandon their child. (personally i don't think canon karen would kick mike out for being gay i do think she would Not be thrilled about it initially, but ofc any au needs allowances to be made)

ok that is all for now.

[lavenderspence]

evolution s1e2 (s16e2) thoughts

okay, once again, my dumb thoughts on Evolution no one asked for, but I'll still post hah. Everything is below the line, enjoy I guess

So everyone is working out in this episode slay I guess

Why does Will look like a hot dilf professor in the beginning? (I love that for him, don't get me wrong)

Why does Rossi still look like a homeless guy in Manhattan...?

Wow, we went from a kid killer to kink...wow

Can I smack the Hotch wanna be aka the Director. Like he is more annoying then Strauss and Linda Barnes

So is this like a whole "underground" ring of serial killers, what the fuck ?-?

"The BAU is different" is this another sentence for "The BAU sucks" (harsh I know but they're a mess)

So apparently the pandemic bred killers

Yep it's a killer network, killer ring. Fantastic

So Tara is suddenly Bi? Lesbian? Hey I'm not shaming, I'm an ally, she's a slay, but that did come out of nowhere. I would have loved to see her dating

Oohh, your dog's a goofball, well enjoy being a victim Tawny

Someone remove the f bombs from Joe's lines please. Thank you

27 minutes in - no profile. They really do suck hello

Are JJ & Luke the only ones a part of the BAU cause no one else seems to be doing anything, any work at all.

So now we have popular tiktok songs on there? Dear God.

Okay but what in the hell is going on with Penelope. I get wanting to move on but it's like she's repulsed by the job now.

So she needed a piece of paper to remind her who she is...? Okay what the hell

OMG ROSSI GOT INTO A SUID!! JJ HAD MORNING SEX

Well, Emily, being salty doesn't suit you babe

If I had Million bucks every time they tried to bring in drama by trying to reorganize or shut down the BAU, I'd be able to buy a home in Monaco and reside there

Luke Alvez you're surprisingly the only person that doesn't annoy me. Congrats

Overall thoughts - this is so messy it's not even funny. Like they seem to have literally forgotten what it's like to work on a team, or they don't seem like they want to be a team. Like why were JJ & Luke the only ones doing actual work - we watched Rossi lose it twice, Tara & Emily took a walk...like?-?. Also how many damn times can they use "let's change up the BAU or just straight up break it up, because we don't need it"? This is the third time I think. The first time was good, the second okay, but why do we need it to happen a third time? Like why use the same formula over and over and over again. Just because something worked the first time, doesn't mean anyone's gonna care for it if it keeps happening.

Once again an episode written by an og writer, and it's a mess.

Can we please keep the trendy, tiktoky stuff for social media, and not the show? It's good for marketing and of course the times, but it's not good for a crime show I'm sorry to say. (I have a lot more to add on this, but yeah)

I know I sound harsh, but...I'm finding Evolution really hard to enjoy and I do hope it gets better because i really want to like it🥲

[cambrioleur]

LUPIN relationships (friendship, romantic, parental) ranked by healthiness

Claire & Raoul - For all the insanity surrounding them, Claire is a good mom to Raoul and she obviously adores him.

Assane & Guédira - Hilariously, this is Assane's healthiest relationship and it's not close. I'd guess that this is because they first met when they were both fully-grown adults, so no childhood baggage, and because Assane actually shares a core interest with Guédira. (One gets the sense that Claire and Ben humored Assane by reading the Lupin books but weren't nearly as into them as he was.) Also, "Justin Avisto." Yeah I'm not going to shut up about that.

Guédira & Fleur - I actually thought this was quite promising and worked a lot better than Guédira and Belkacem as a couple. Will anything come of it? Probably not.

Claire & Ben - So this is a situation in which they regularly lie to each other but they're very nice about it and apologize afterwards. "Sorry I let to believe Assane was dead when he was actually faking." "Sorry I manipulated you into telling me the truth about Assane faking his death while you were hitting rock bottom in prison." Etc.

Assane & Ben - Now see, this would probably have been ranked higher if it wasn't for...you know. But upon thinking about it further, I realized that it was just the natural outcome of a relationship in which Ben never really bothers to call Assane out for any of the lies and other morally questionable acts he commits. It's only natural that Assane would feel like he could take advantage of him too.

Assane & Raoul - At one point Assane phones Claire and tells her that he has no idea how to be a good father. Which is arguably an understatement. He just got unbelievably lucky that Raoul happens to be one of the most emotionally resilient kids out there.

Assane & Claire - I've said this before but I get the sense that Assane sees Claire as an amalgamation of every kind of female gender role...which is not healthy. And of course the rest of their relationship is just an absolute chaotic trainwreck you can't look away from. There's not an episode of the show that goes by where I don't grind my teeth and think, "HOW can she keep forgiving him??" And yet at the same time I still want them to work it out. Sue me.

Guédira & Belkacem - I won't lie, I don't entirely get the appeal here, aside from the fact that Guédira canonically has a crush on Belkacem. But why? (You know, aside from "she's hot.") Belkacem doesn't really do anything but yell at Guédira, dismiss his ideas, and make fun of his interests. My headcanon is that she's secretly a lesbian with internalized homophobia.

Assane & Juliette - This ranking is definitely my personal bias coming into play, because I'm very much not a Juliette enjoyer and I particularly can't STAND her and Assane together. They absolutely bring out the worst in one another: Assane does his fuckboy act while Juliette becomes an annoying pick-me. Keep them the hell away from one another. Although making Juliette a yandere-type villain would definitely have me entertained.

[chipthekeeper]

Acolyte episode 3 commentary by me, a person with no filter:

- I'm extremely nervous about this one, I'm….not gonna lie. Like in a good way, I think I'm going to enjoy it a lot, but like, tomorrow, when the whole world has seen it, it's gonna be ugly……….Who cares though!

- Alright here we go oh my god, and Mother is the thumbnail so [giggles]

- [creaky old door groans].............I'm terrified, like—

- [weakly] I'm gonna have a heart attack…………Oh it looks like Aldhani [tears in eyes]

- oh pretty tree, pretty birds, oh, maybe not bird, maybe it's a bug. not important

- [pausing for yippy dog next door] Really gonna have a fucking dog, barking right now, what, god, shut the fuck up

- It's too much Aldhani I'm gonna cry

- (hooded figure appears behind the girls) who the fuck is that!?! Oh. Sol?! Oh nooooo…what is happeningggg [nervous chuckling] I have a bad feeling about this

- ooooh! Planets-wha-what [scoffs] I was starin’ at that

- (Aniseya arrives) [gasps] MOTHEEERRRRRRRRR

- “did anyone see them?” “I do not believe so” [snorts] innnnncorrect

- [gay gasping] THERE WE GOOOOOOO [deep sigh]

- hm. Fraught lesbianism, here we go. My favorite genre

- This is just gonna be me doing a lot of hmmmmm

- I definitely keep getting confused, which is which here…….which witch is which

- Man I'm gonna be really mad if she's actually dead. If they did pre-bury these gays…well, keep me from getting my hopes up I guess…

- “Tell her you love her” “i love you” [snorts] yeah, buying it

- “you think you want something different than life in this coven” Are they giving Wheel of Time vibes? Or only because I've watched that episode like..48 times…

- Ugh, the moons!!....Whaaaat?

- Well this answers the question of who's braiding their hair. That's really fun. That's a really cute detail, actually I like that

- Does this planet also have a ring? Wait, that would make sense. We see ssssomebody flying through a ring later? Ohhhh are we coming back??

- (ascension ceremony starting) This is hot, can I move here?

- Definitely bookmarking Brendok as a place to have characters…hang out

- Do they have to climb up the pit? Is that what the ascension means? [laughing at own joke]

- [ears perking up] Unnatural, huh?

- OH my god that’s….The moons are doing the eclipse thing like in the logo hh my god….The red one in front of the blue one….

- [delighted chuckling] ohohoho what is happening….

- Woah! Magic tattoo!!

- *kitten squeaks again* Biggs go lay down. It’s a very tense moment, go lay down

- [doubtful grunt at Indara] You're stationed on that and you think it's uninhabited? Why would you be there?

- Kelnacca, you narc

- Aww Sol. He has instant dad eyes

- Sol no! Put that away–oh. Just kidding

- We don't take children, we just…entice them with toys…..He's like luring her into the back of his van…….She is into it though, so [noncommittal mumbling]

- “There are only four Jedi. Who would miss them?” That's….not good math

- “and what happens when the jedi discover how you created them?” [idiotic 12 year old boy voice] By fucking…

- Yeah, fun little dysfunctional family. I love it

- Poor Oshie…..

- (Tommen/Torbin on screen) I have a…just desire to see Ser Pounce

- (he takes her blood) Testin’ those middies!!!

- (indara explaining the jedi test, “tell us what you see”) A cup! A speeder!

- “she promised she would fail and she broke her promise” She tried!!

- (telling Mae to go with Koril) That's a great idea…

- I was dead wrong about everything I thought about Aniseya but…I fucking...love her

- Oh don't make me cry. Don't make me cry

- No love for your hardass mama though, that’s fine

- Oh my god the stuffies! What are they….

- “i’ll kill you” uh jesus christ! That's going to help you get what you want…………you little psycho…

- Shiiiiiiiiiiit….

- What is this? A vault in their room…….ah. Laundry chute……Seriously, what is this?

- We're not done, clearly….’cause what happened with Torbin and...

- [sees mother lying “dead”(?), turns into sad simba] No, no, get up. We’ve gotta go home….

- What is…[whines] You cannot. That's…….they’re leaving shit out

- “Mae started the fire” How would you know?!

- “You’ll never feel like this again. I promise” Oh damn Sol. Don't do that

- Why was this not twice as long? How am I supposed to wait another week? God!

- [lots of deep sighing] That went by so fast and I'm…..not happy

I was happy actually but immediately desperate for more

[sibillascribbles08]

Oh it's aro week ! Here's a short Off Colors drabble for the occasion feat. Leo and April

April watched the credits rolling up the screen of her TV. Leo sat on the bed with her, his shell pressed against the wall and her legs rested over his, as usual on movie nights.

"So..." April broke the silence. "That was pretty good, right?"

"I guess?" He shrugged.

"You guess? What's wrong with it?"

"You know." He waved a hand. "Once again we have this intense adventure plot going on and there's some romance involved."

She sighed. "Leo, that doesn't make it bad."

"I know, I know." He tossed his hands up before crossing them and slouching down further in his seat. "It just has to come up every single time. And like, why? Do people really want romance in all their stories that badly?"

"I mean, yeah? Most people do, I guess." She climbed over Leo to reach the remote and turn the TV off. "Though I kind of get it. Like, why does it always have to be a guy and a girl. We need more girls falling in love with girls."

"No offense April, but I'd probably stick my tongue out at that too." As if to emphasize, he did it now.

April lightly kneed him in the stomach as she returned to her usual seat. "You don't have to complain about it that much."

"It's just... frustrating." He mumbled. "You say it's normal. Dad says it's normal. Hueso says it's normal. But I can't wrap my head around it."

She sank into her pillows and put her legs on his lap again. She took a moment to swallow her anger, after all Leo wasn't trying to be rude about it. He probably really didn't get it.

She tilted her head. "And you're certain it's not a find the right person situation?"

The turtle rolled his eyes and held one of his hoodie strings, swinging it around. "Well gee, how would I even know that? What other teenagers do I interact with besides you? Love you, by the way, but not like that."

"Good cause I don't like boys." She lifted a foot and used it to give his head a light shove.

He pushed her leg back down in an instant. "Dad keeps saying I'll get it when I'm older but he's been saying that for years. Like hello, I'm thirteen now. Doesn't it happen to most teenagers sooner than that?"

She shrugged. "I guess. But you're not exactly most teenagers either."

"Quick, google sexual maturity of red eared sliders."

She snorted at that, and was glad to see Leo crack a smile, but it didn't last.

Then, it gave her an idea.

"Actually, hang on." She climbed off her bed to grab her laptop off her desk. "I might have an idea."

"Are you actually going to google it?"

"No." She smiled and sat back down. "But you remember the whole thing with that flag on my pin board yeah?" She pointed to where it probably was behind her.

Leo nodded. "Yup, lesbian flag. Which you lied to me about at first and convinced me it was a country until my dad had to explain it."

She bit her lip to keep herself from laughing at that old joke. "Right, well there's a lot of other flags out there. I did some brief reading on them and I think one might help explain some things." She pulled up her internet browser and began to type.

He moved his legs and crawled over to sit next to her. "You're telling me there's a flag for people who hate romance?"

"Not exactly that but..." April scrolled down the page, glancing at the various lines of colors until she finally saw the one she remembered. "There, that's the one!"

Leo leaned closer to the screen, studying the bars of green, white, grey and black. "Aromantic?"

"Yeah." She clicked on the hyperlink which brought up the full page. "People who feel little to no romantic attraction." With it loaded she slid the computer onto his lap to let him scroll and read for as long as he wanted.

Which turned out to be for a while. April felt awkward with the silence so she climbed off the bed and grabbed all the empty bags of snacks and soda cans. "You want some water?"

Her friend just let out a hum of acknowledgement that she took as a yes. She carried the trash to the kitchen and tossed it in the bin, passing by her mom in the living room.

"Movie done?" Her mom asked, watching her own TV.

"Yeah, just chatting for a bit."

"He can stay the night if he wants, but you both aren't staying up all night."

"I know." April sighed. It wasn't a school night–they never did movie nights on school nights–but her mom was still mad about three weeks ago when the pair of them accidentally stayed up talking until one in the morning.

She pulled a couple of water bottles out of the wrapped plastic next to the fridge and shuffled back to her room, replying to her mom's quick good night.

Leo was still on the laptop when she returned, though now laying on his stomach and staring at the screen like it held the secret to life, love, and everything.

April wouldn't interrupt. She set his bottle on the nightstand and opened her own, taking a few sips and settling back onto the mattress.

"So..." Leo finally spoke up. "Maybe it is normal? That I'm not into romance? If this is apparently enough of a thing to make a group name for it."

She smiled and lightly scraped her nails over his shell. "Yeah! You might be ace too."

"I assume you don't mean that in the sense of 'extremely cool.'"

She snorted and leaned across his back to use the touchpad. She scrolled down to the related links, clicking on asexual.

"Hm, not as crazy about that flag." Leonardo raised a brow. "Prefer the greens." He scanned the page for a second. "Wait, is there a difference between romantic and sexual attraction?"

"Yeah." April tapped her mouth with the lid of her bottle. "I mean, I don't personally get it but it makes sense? After all, ace people aren't sexually into people, at least not always, but they still fall in love?"

"Hmm, yeah I don't think I'm into any of that."

"Then in that case..." April, still laying on his back, scrolled down again and clicked on the aroace page.

"Huh? They have a different flag?"

She laughed. "There's a lot of those."

"I like this one though." She could practically hear the smile in his voice. "It has blue in it. And orange! Doesn't yours have orange?"

"Yeah!"

"We could match! Sort of!"

"Yeah!" She giggled, and Leo responded, and soon both of them were falling into a fit of laughter.

April rolled off him while catching her breath, and then took another sip of water.

Leo got up and grabbed his own bottle. "It's not weird for me to just go with that, right?" He tilted his head as he frowned. "I mean, what if Dad is right? Maybe I'm still not old enough or haven't meant the right person or something."

She shrugged. "You're allowed to change your mind, Leo. I mean, I thought I was bi until I realized my interest in guys was just me trying to match what the girls in class were doing. Helps that my mom has knowledge about this though, I guess."

She kicked her legs. "Anyway, point is, you can go with it and change your mind later."

He smiled and drank some water. "I almost hope I don't. What if our flags stop matching?"

April snorted and tossed an arm around his neck to pull him close. "I'm sure we can find something else to match."

Leo's smile became softer and he turned to pull her into a proper hug. "Thanks, Apes."

She returned it, though she wasn't entirely sure what he was thanking her for. Could be any number of things, and she chose not to ask.

"Of course, Lee."