TW: discussion of something approximating suicidal tendencies but with the usual crack programming of this blog
“Ah, High General Windu”, says Fox, pleasantly. “So we meet again.”
High General Windu raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him, Fox thinks, though it’s getting hard to tell with all the blood rushing to his head. “If I let you go, will you try to throw yourself out of another window?”
Fox makes a vague shrugging motion - or tries to, anyways. It’s hard to tell where any of his limbs are going, hanging upside down in the air as he is. “I am willing to discuss terms.” A bridge will do just fine.
Impossibly, the High General’s eyebrows climb even further up his forehead. “A compromise, then, esteemed Commander.” And so, he righths Fox the head way up in the air, but leaves him floating just above the ground, at which point several painted shells come skidding around the corner followed by billowing robes and screeches.
“WHAT”, says Kote, calmly, “THE BANTHA-KARKED, FORCE-LOVING KRIFF, FOX.”
“You’ll short out your helmet mic”, Fox advises him, sagely. Fondly, he thinks back to decimating his own on only his second time in the newly-christened official Coruscant Guard Scream Closet. He’d just received the comm about the Zillo Beast being transported to 000, and made sure to take his bucket off thereafter to improve the quality of his closet time.
High General Windu’s face does something complicated between sympathy and constipation.
Because the Galaxy doesn’t hate Fox enough already and Cody wasn’t enough on his own, Wolffe elbows his way through their batch to plant himself in front of him, shoulders squared and shaking with repressed rage. “If you try that again, dickhead”, he begins, in a low growl that quite frankly sounds more cringe that intimidating, “I’m going to resurrect you and then kill you again.”
“Ah, Wolffe”, Plo Koon says, in his deep, shivery timbre, “Remember our conversations about effective conflict resolution and communication of needs?”
Wolffe’s eyes narrow at Fox, because all non-Guard are sweet summer children who walk around buckets off on 000 like absolute lunatics. Fox prays they never have to find out why that’s a bad idea. “I feel”, his ori’vod presses out between clenched teeth, “that if you make me watch you throw yourself out of another window, I’m going to jump after you and strangle you on the way down, you little bitch.”
“That’s fair”, says Fox, and watches High General Kenobi bury his face in his hands. Wolffe twitches in place and makes an aborted groaning noise, the hypocrite.
“Excuse me, High Marshall Commander Fox, but I fail to see what’s so dire about this situation that the Jedi High Council and your brothers cannot help you solve”, says Windu, the only sane one left on this Force-forsaken bloated corpse of a planet. Behind the gaggle of Jedi and ori’vode already gathered in front of Fox, the rest of them come veering around the corner in a commotion that’s quite frankly embarrassing. High General Yoda is mounted on Skywalker’s back like he’s a race-Eopie, which is Fox’ only consolation.
He got up this morning at 0300, bleary-eyed and with a pounding headache as always, and all was right in the world. And then Fox got called into the Jedi High Council’s chambers and was ceremoniously informed that in the wake of Chancellor Palpatine’s unfortunate demise (hah), and through the emergency state of the Senate, as well as several invented promotions foisted on Fox to make the delegation of any and all paperwork less shady, he was now next in the chain of command and-
Well, Fox is the acting Chancellor, in short.
Haha, he had said, and been meet with several seconds of silence, until it got both awkward and exceedingly painful. Wait, he’d said. You’re kriffing serious.
Kriffing serious, we are, had said High General Yoda, and thus Fox launched himself out the first best window with a maniacal cackle of, you’ll have to catch me first!
And catch him, High General Windu sure did.
“The will of the Force this is”, Yoda interrupts Fox’ train of thought. He scans him thoughtfully from beneath his wizened brow, and hems to himself. “Shake things up, this will. Determine the fate of the Galaxy, this shall. A feeling, I have, that a good Chancellor you will make. A better one, hmmm.”
“That’d be high praise, if not for the fact that a dead lemming would make for a better Chancellor than the last one”, says Fox, drawing and indignant gasp from Skywalker. He doesn’t bother with either that or the green goblin’s cackle, lost in the deep sense of resignation that settles over his shoulders like a suffocating blanket.
“Alright, then, get me Thorn on the comm. As my first act in office, I’m firing all the Jedi. No offense, but you’re kind of a disaster. Then, someone get me to the Chancellor’s office, I’m calling Dooku to let him know the war’s off. And please get me Judicial, they’ll be up all night working on my datafolders - I’m having the Senate arrested.”
“Who - is - arresting - “, Bly pants, hands on his knees from where he’s just come sprinting around the corner with his Jedi.
Underneath his bucket, Fox smiles a smile that’s all teeth. “The Senate”, he says, sweetly, wondering if he’s just imagined the shiver that’s gone through the room. “I’m suing the Senate, and taking them all into temporary custody for abuse of sentient rights.”
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Until You're Convinced - Subject Two x f!reader
Summary: Albedo is struck on Dragonspine and asks Subject Two to get help. But when he runs into you, your warmth causes him to fall for you. He knows your relationship can't last; you've mistaken him for Albedo. Yet, he continues to desire to be by your side, even if the one you long for isn't him.
Other Info: Subject Two/Fake Albedo/ Rubedo x f!reader, Albedo x reader (one-sided); fluff and angst with happy ending; 1.0k; lightly edited
Notes: Felt like sharing what's basically the outline of my Subject Two idea here. I don't think I have time to write this one even those I love this idea. Maybe one day.
*****
You have a crush on Albedo and you see him frantically running around Mondstadt looking for someone. You wonder what's wrong with him. He's actually Subject Two and he's looking for Lumine for help because Albedo is in trouble. He's currently in a sort of hibernation mode in Dragonspine so he won't lose control and destroy Mondstadt in the process.
When Subject Two comes back after finding Lumine, you offer him a meal and a rest after his long search. He's touched by your smile and the care that you give him – before he remembers he needs to pretend to be Albedo.
Your insecurities eat away at your insides. You think that Albedo is in love with Lumine because of how much he sought after her, and with a heavy heart, you admit to (Fake) Albedo that you're in love with him.
After that day, Subject Two runs into you often at the restaurant while he's working with Lumine and some of the Knights to help Albedo. You're still kind and friendly with him, but despite his aloof and slightly cynical personality, he can empathize with your unrequited love for Albedo because of his own unrequited familial love.
He often wants to see you because you radiate a warmth that he never experienced. Yet he knows you treat him this way because you think he's Albedo. As a result, he continues to act kind and friendly like Albedo would.
One day, you tell him you're going on vacation and plan to take a trip to Liyue. Surprisingly, Subject Two asks to come with you. (He tells himself it's not out of character for Albedo to ask this.)
You chat with him as you stroll through the streets of Liyue and you buy little souvenirs for people back in Mondstadt. You ask him when is his birthday, and he tells you he doesn't know, forgetting that he's supposed to be Albedo. You decide you can celebrate his birthday today and buy him a red scarf.
He's surprised you thought to give him a present. But because you misinterpret of his reaction, you ask if you shouldn't give it to him because he likes Lumine. Subject Two recalls how much Albedo talked about you and wouldn't be surprised if Albedo did love you back. He tells you that he likes you too.
From that day on, your relationship with each other grows. He gives you a necklace on your birthday in return for the scarf and you bring him along on your days off to wherever your feet would take you.
But Subject Two continues to deny the fact that he isn't really Albedo. He had pretended to be Albedo before, so why take his identity like he did before?
However, it had been years since he created that cryo whopper flower and he began to have a good relationship with Albedo after that. In fact, Albedo was the one who told Subject Two to pretend to be him while he was locked away on Dragonspine. He didn't want people like Klee to worry. Yet, Subject Two wanted to continue to be by your side, causing the turmoil inside his heart.
Lumine comes to Subject Two, telling him they've found a solution for Albedo. Knowing he can't continue with his relationship with you, he tells you that he needs to break up with you because soon he's going to forget everything that happened with you. You urge him to explain himself but he can't bear to tell you the truth that he wasn't Albedo. You were in love with Albedo, not him.
He disappears on you, telling you to forget him and you are left in despair. When Albedo returns to Mondstadt, he really doesn't know anything that happened between the two of you. But it's too hard for you to pretend as if those times together never existed.
Several months later, Subject Two is at Albedo's camp in Dragonspine. He's been hiding out in the mountain ever since. It's where he always lived anyway.
He opens the trunk full of his belongings, sees the red scarf you gave him and wraps it around his neck. You walk up from behind him and he stuffs the scarf in the trunk and closes it.
You say you recognize him and he admits it's true. He has met you once as Subject Two but he didn't really talk to you.
You say you wanted to see him, but he says you barely knew him. In a sense, it was true you never knew him. He pretended to be Albedo the whole time without showing his true personality. You tell him that you can start to get to know him now. He brushes you off and tells you to do whatever you want.
Little by little, you come to visit him on Dragonspine. And little by little, Subject Two would slip up on things he's not supposed to know about you until you finally tell him, "Albedo, never lost his memory, did he?"
He snaps at you and pretends he doesn't know what you're talking about. But he sees that you're wearing the necklace he gave you, hoping the Albedo you knew would come back. You ask him again if it was him, if he was the one you spent all that time with.
You tell him of all the things you missed about him and it dawns on him that you listed things related to his personality and not Albedo's. More and more of his personality slipped through the more he spent time with you and he didn't even notice.
At this point, Subject Two is still in denial that you'd still choose him over Albedo. "Then why is it that, after only meeting you a few times, I only think about you? You won't leave my mind," you tell him.
He finally gives up and tells you all about who he is. That he was a failed experiment. That he had tried to kill Albedo before. That Albedo was stuck in Mondstadt and asked him to take on his identity.
He doesn't know how to take all of this in. He doesn't understand why you'd want him over Albedo. So you tell him you'll stay by his side until he's convinced that you really do love him.
*****
I hope you liked this even if it's not a full fic like I usually do. Please check out my other fics if you enjoyed this one. :)
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