#why do you even do it

[fallen-angels-go-to-hell]

-Therapy?-

Well, sometimes I feel like I should hold therapy sessions for myself. writing here on tumblr is kind of like that. i feel like i am on crossroads about well a lot a lot of things.

idk how writing them out is going to help but m scared. for one, my boyfriend gets angry really fast, on important things yes, but angry no doubt. nd for the most of it i find it really hot but sometimes its really scary as well. he hasn't ever gotten angry directly at me and i feel like i never want to be on the receiving end of it. but that's impossible and i know that. m scared he's going to be really aggressive hm.

Also i dont know if i talk too much or come off jobless and distracting to him. he's studying right now and i am holding back the urge to spam him with loads of love and ask him the most random stuff and shower him with feelings. he's always reciprocating and he's the best but i don't want to lose him. i think m annoying him and tiring him out. i really hope he doesn't leave me =(. sometimes i wonder if i just imagine that he loves me but he doesn't really. idk , m so not worth him.

he's obvi going through things right now, and i know these exams are more important to him than me. maybe i should give him space? and i know from a third person view id say " u need to talk to him, communication, communication, communication" . but this is different. this isn't about talking more rather the too much talking.

i hope m not exhausting him hm. my brain is just really fuzzy and fast today and i find everything exciting and jumpy. i love him so much fuck this is going to end up killing me.

also lately i have been seeing alot of these self harm posts and all these well, ed posts and i don't get what the trend is with anorexia. why the fuck do people want to be so thin? i get sh, i sh too sometimes when m low. i think ill see someone for that in the future. i genuinely need to get help because the lows and the highs sometimes get in the way of my normal day and nobody gets it. my friends and family say m just a moody young adult. sigh

well, thats it from me today, adios. i like this blog way better than my old one.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[hexjulia]

i don't even know what to say. Apparently my brother has been sending doja cat (singer) recipe links as instagram dms for literal YEARS now because he doesn't know an easy way to bookmark them in the app. Which led to an attempt to save recipes by just linking them to celebrities who he assumes aren't checking their dms anyways. this lifehack got him blocked by mac demarco and lorde however. Doja never blocked or responded so he just continued to use her inbox to save insta recipes. FOR YEARS.

[zytes]

this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

[yakityyaku]

very funny (irritating) to me that everyone whined and yelled about stupid rainbow capitalism and how performative wokeness/allyship is a net bad we should all refuse to support and now like.

tumblr is doing nothing for pride and target isn't selling much (if any) of their pride collection offline except at certain stores (in democratic areas, basically) and build a bear has a much tinier collection than normal and all the actual pride stuff is on their "adult" website (not sure if it's in stores, but pride = adult is a hell of a message)

there are genuinely good criticisms for performative allyship in all its applications. it shouldn't be the only thing we expect from people and companies. but if all the shit I see being called performative stopped tomorrow then in terms of the LGBTQ+ community especially we just. wouldn't talk about queerness or queer issues or celebrate pride or do anything.

open your fucking eyes. we are very close politically to having gay marriage rolled back. now companies are basically being let off the hook to even make a miniscule effort (which matters to the people who don't have access to any other kind of support in their communities! which normalizes the community in public spaces!) because the only reaction they have gotten over the last few years are negative ones from BOTH sides.

we are so entrenched in discourse at all times for the sake of our OWN performance of who is the wokest and who is REALLY an ally or a good community member that we have basically handed over all the work of activists of the last several decades to the other side because we'd rather scream at each other over fucking chicken restaurants and shit than the real life backsliding that's happening.

and this goes for other shit too. feminism, poc rights, all of it.

also. trans rights aren't discourse and aren't just culture war arguments. in case any terfs think they can spin this to be antitrans.

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

Me doing my stupid research so I can fill out the stupid ballot and do my stupid civic duty.

[mynnthia]

was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.

to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:

kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him

[ilions-end]

i've noticed just how often achilles' dragging of hector's corpse is framed mostly as an act of extreme disrespect, or only some brutal show of triumph. personally i think that's underselling both achilles' intention and what the trojans must be thinking as they watch it happen.

hector's corpse is divinely protected so it can't be damaged by the greeks after death; all that effectively happens in the iliad is that his body gets dirty. but under normal circumstances (and i'm not gonna impose realism on mythology, but the iliad is famously detailed when it comes to bodily trauma), the physical reality of dragging a corpse along stony ground for miles would be severe disfigurement and dismemberment. first the skin would wear off, then soft tissues, then extremities would start to detach. i think the iliad's original audience would be aware of that as an intended outcome.

achilles (who doesn't yet know that hector's body has been granted divine stasis) doesn't just want to parade his enemy's corpse around, he wants to tear it apart ("i only wish that this fury inside my heart would drive me to carve you to pieces and eat your flesh raw..."), he wants it to not resemble a human anymore. he wants hector's blood and flesh to circle the city of troy. he wants to make it impossible for hector's family to gather the pieces of him to cremate and that way hector's spirit won't find passage into the underworld. that's what the gods are preventing from happening, they're not just keeping the corpse pretty for priam to pick up later.

[neil-gaiman]

neil gaiman, i must ask, WILL THEY KISS AGAIN IN SEASON THREE?????

thank you for your time

Having seen how badly the kiss in Season 2 went down, I cannot imagine any more kissing in the future.

[me-beef]

@strangeravatar made a great point

i was gonna focus on the spike-hotboxing-celestia aspect but i got distracted somewhere along the way and i think i forgot what joke i was trying to make

but dont you think its interesting how many guards of the exact same color/body type she's managed to accrue?? i do

ooohh you want to go look at our stickers so bad

[nathaniacolver]

i don't think you guys understand the levels of lesbianism in this scene

this 90 caliber electric net is caitlyn's E ability......aka, she's the ONLY champion in league of legends that can use this ability.........thus, the writing decision to have vi, a separate, melee league champion, be the only one in the show that EVER also triggers it (someone informed me that cait does use it during Hellfire), with her bare hands (and against another champion, at that), suggests levels of intimacy and trust that i can't even comprehend

additionally, this isn't the first time caitlyn's given up her gun (aka ALL of her special abilities) for vi, either

oh to have a girlfriend

[zookie-art]

Shadows and light ~

[egophiliac]

everyone out of the way, this is the only thing I'm going to be thinking about from now on.

(okay, there is one more thing)

[mythicalcoolkid]

You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side

[madohomurat]

trans women are everywhere and are so eager to be seen and heard but only if they feel safe around you. if you hardly ever have trans women interacting with you, especially online, then consider there might be a reason for that and you should address it

[lazylittledragon]

y'know every time i feel guilty about bothering someone by singing along when i'm listening to music, i just remember that i have to tolerate my dirtbag brother screaming at his ps5 for hours every day so listening to muffled off-key fall out boy is probably preferable