#why do we need to worry about mental health when we don't even have MONEY

[sleep-nurse]

I CAN FINALLY SIT DOWN ONGOD

[ficsinhistory]

I think the problem with S3 of The Bear was that ok the mess, the coldness and the distancing and the plots in general...if it seemed like it was intentional. If they had a long term plan and this was a bait to change course later like good stories do. But it wasn't, it was just poorly written (and a bit racist).

For example, we could see Sydcarmy being separated because of Carm's worsening mental health and him wanting to convince himself that Claire is better because he doesn't want to make mistakes with the kitchen family and Syd anymore, more as a legitimate plot point and less as Storer wanting to sink Sydcarmy at any cost (which was a stupid idea and I don't even need to say why) if it didn't completely sideline Syd and obliterate her and Carmy's character in the process. Because that man may be chaotic and stupid as he may be, but Carm always cared about Syd's well-being at the end of the day.

Even after doing something stupid, Carmy always had this worry about asking how she felt about it. And that's what made their relationship different and the heart of the show. He can be distant and cold, but ignoring Syd's wishes? Doesn't give her credit when he was the one who asked her to be her partner in the first place??? The same person who recognized in 3x01 that the credit for them getting through the family and friends' night was solely hers, because he knew he had screwed up everything and didn't deserve to be part of it? Not only that, him being an idiot to Natalie, yelling about money when she was pregnant? Even though she was his only living sister? And that he started going to therapy at her request even though he didn't want to after realizing that yes, she was right? And not going to see his niece because he was more worried about Claire?? The woman who, let's be honest, he didn't like. I mean, he a panic attack thinking on HER!!! And now she is his peace??? Using suspiciously the term that the Sydcarmy fandom baptized Syd, almost as an affront. (And let's remeber Claire was pretty happy talking how she almost kill a teenage. I was bawling my eyes if was me. Weirdo (derogatory))

And speaking of her, Sydney Adamu, my beloved and favorite character, what did they do to you? She was thrown into the corner so much that I couldn't believe it. She is a protagonist and ok, she and Carmy are on tense terms, but why not take advantage of the fact that they are more apart to delve deeper into her and her relationships, find out more about her. Her relationship with her mother and father? Any flashbacks, since there were so many, about Sheridan and how this still affects her? She and the rest of the members of The Bear, Nat, Richie. She should exist outside of Carmy in her own right, but they just threw her in there and gave screen time to Claire and the Faks and that sucks. Which leads to another point, why don't you talk more about the og members of The Bear. Okay, we had Napkins for Tina, fair enough. But what about Gary, Ebra, Many? Marcus, whose mother died barely had any weight? It left a bitter taste in the mouth. If they want to fix this, they're going to have a lot of work to do, because history has taken everything to an almost unsustainable level. It's okay to be a tragedy, but give us the rays of sunshine, so we can believe in the best. And we didn't have that. It was just going in circles and that could cost the entire story.

[jung-koook]

i’m korean who grew up abroad but very familiar with my country of origin and don’t worry you said nothing racist. there’s so much to do to improve in terms of empathy and mental health care in korea, I’m not worried about yg leaving that’s out of question. I’m worrying about his MH though, I’m in my 30s and I’ve seen too many idols spiralling into depression for things like this. We never learn, it’s ugly and it needs to be said I’m tired now.

it's really upsetting to see so many artists and people saying whats wrong there and sk wanting to turn a blind eye to it or even blame something that doesn't make sense.

I was talking about the artists there but my bother with south korea is not just that. ever since my dad went to live in japan, he has always been interested in south korean and china politics. one of the reasons he didn't want to go to japan was because he didn't want to live in a country that had a higher risk of war. my dad is so scared of it that he literally saves money to leave japan if something like this happens (which I hope never happens again). so he always kept an eye on countries that could be involved in something like that here. to be honest, for a long time I thought south korea was changing but after seeing that they literally voted for a disgusting man who literally said he hated women I just woke up to reality. I really don't like to generalize. I know that the new generation is very different but it's still not the majority so that's why unfortunately they're not as face of south korea as the conservative people.

this is also when we talk about korean fans. we know that nothing is black and white, there are people who respect artists there but this bad side is criticized but no one really does anything that will change that. I think there need to be more laws to protect people, and the industry needs to stop making fans believe that artists are perfect human beings. stop wanting to paint artists as boyfriends or girlfriends too. this is so harmful on all sides! the industry often makes some people believe things like that. they make people believe that artists are basically dolls that can be controlled and this makes many people feel like they have rights over the artists they like. I hate it when people say "it's their culture and we can't change it" we can change it! guys, if we accepted things as they are just because something that has always been the way it is, imagine what the world would be like today. like??? please...

[mimisfortress]

Guess who lost her diary key and is now turning to Tumblr to blog my feelings (me) 🦄🌈

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💞💌Really long VENT post coming your way ❤️‍🩹🪽

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Currently going through an emotional rut.

I feel pretty unsure of myself. I lost a couple of friends and I am having a hard time knowing whether it was my fault or if they had it coming.

These weren't just normal friends, they were family at that point. We witnessed unspeakable things together at a fairly young age and I really, really, really thought that our friendship was forever. I thought our friendship was different from everyone else's in a sense that growing older wouldn't impact us the way adults warned us it would. I thought trauma made us special and I thought change wouldn't find us.

To these friends, I was their baby sister and they treated me as such, too. They dogged on who I loved and did not trust me to make my own choices. They grilled someone who I had genuine love for after not batting an eye at the unhappy abusive relationship I was in for three years.

As I grew older, I grew distant because I was too scared to express that the way they treated me upset me. I figured that since they already have so much to worry about in their lives, my fragile feelings would burden them.

I am aware of the importance of communication, but I simply just felt like I couldn't communicate my feelings to them in any way.

During the past month, our friendship of 9 years came to an end. It crashed and burned when I couldn't make it to a big hang out that costed a lot of money. It was only supposed to be my friend and I, just us two. Luckily, this former friend of mine got a refund and another friend was able to take my place.

I don't know why they wanted me so bad. They had a lot to say about how bad of a friend I was and not much good to say about me, and yet they wanted me so bad. I didn't feel appreciated as a person and they didn't celebrate me as a friend. Yet, if they told me they needed me I'd come in and do what I could to the best of my ability even after they told me they hated me or told me my desperate attempts to help after they begged for my help was "inappropriate". I still stayed because if I'm the one in the wrong, I can also make it into a right if I really tried.

I hate to say it, but I feel anger when I think about these friends of mine. What I hate even more is that I keep wanting to go back. I keep wanting to say "yes! You're right, I am a terrible and awful person and I will change myself just for you guys!" just to hear their laughter again, see their funny smiles, and . . . inevitably get sent large paragraphs of text telling me I did something wrong again. And then the cycle repeats where I think that I'm wrong and they're right because I'm the little sister who's immature and doesn't know anything and they're the older, wiser sisters who parent me.

I was really sure that I was the failure. I was the one that failed to hold it together. I mean, come on! I didn't communicate my feelings, I told a big lie to them, and I grew distant without explanation.

But then I had invited a friend of mine into my home who has hurt more times than anyone I've ever known. We didn't have to experience a terribly traumatic event together at a young age to be best friends, she just loved me. She loved me and she told me why.

She liked that I didn't yell or curse when she had moments of frustration and impatience, she appreciated my high level of patience, and she tells me that she thinks I have emotional intelligence.

My other friends never told me anything like that. They think I suck at supporting them, they don't think I can be trusted to make good decisions, that I'm an inconvenience and blah, blah, blah, blah.

At my house, my friend looked over the texts shared between me and these other friends. Maybe it's pushing their privacy, but I felt like it was detrimental for my mental health for eyes other than mine to view these text messages and tell me if I'm allowed to be upset or not.

This friend of mine looked at these text messages with complete and utter disgust. I watched her make faces viewing the messages. She visibly cringed upon reading them and it shocked me. I thought she was going to be able to find something I said, point at it, and tell me "here's what I think made her mad. I can help you write an apology if you want!"

But no, reading the exchange of text messages angered her so much that she couldn't bare to read the rest, which disappointed me. What if she's missing the part where I say something I need to apologize for?

What she told me was this :

• You need to stop letting them walk all over you, you need to write a long message to them but not out of empathy or kindness, but to give yourself closure. You need to do more for yourself. I just don't want you to sit here and let them bully you.

• They are simply just choosing to believe that you are a bad friend. You don't talk bad about them to me at all, and yet they claim that's all you've been doing.

• Why is it okay for them to discuss what they don't like about you behind your back and not you?

And stuff like that. We never ended up sending a long text for me to express my emotions because knowing these friends, they'd blow up on me even more and tell me how a lot of it is actually my fault.

It's been a hard 3 months. I'm worried about becoming exactly what these friends of mine chose to believe I was; an unempathetic, emotionally unintelligent, mentally-unstable, coldhearted, and immature creature.

This is because often times things are believed into existence. Therefore, I'm going to work on kindness without the expectation of something in return, generosity, mental clarity, and patience to prevent their beliefs from becoming reality. I'm not going to give anyone a reason to treat me like they did ever again.

This situation has impacted my mental health pretty negatively, and so I'll be posting updates on my mental health!

[yutaholic]

Thank you for even making that post because I honestly feel like I’m going to explode!! Championing every issue is EXHAUSTING. I have such empathy fatigue. Bombardment of “rules”, behavioral guidelines, services, companies, networks + food brands & PEOPLE to boycott ALL THE TIME. Fandom is space many of us come to unplug from reality…it’s certainly my hyperfixation & ppl be like “well then get another one because you shouldn’t support–” IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT. Fuck. I can’t take it anymore. Calls to action being in EVERY single place have weakened my mental state even more than it was before which was already on “pending disability” level of severe & now I’m just. burned t-absolute-f out….at everything!! I can literally FEEL myself unraveling. Kpop stans & their toxic activism can go to hell. They’re so worried about making sure to condemn others for “not doing enough�� or being bad people, that they don’t even realize their actions are making them into bad people. This shit takes a toll on mental health, there is science behind this, it is real and what happens to human beings when inundated with constant terrible news, and it’s not just being ~too privileged to care~ but these performative mfs have no concept of blacklisting anymore and just want to assume the absolute worst about someone, call them names & wish harm on folks who are at the end of their ropes! It’s maddening! So even if compassion fatigue isn’t why you didn’t go out of your way to Denounce and Drag™️ him (bc you totally have the right to simply not want to do that on a fanfic blog!) I’m just glad someone else stated that this is supposed to be an ESCAPE. fuck.

Baby, burnout will fuck you up. Don't do that to yourself. Take the time you need and recoup. Life is a constant war and you can afford to lose a battle here and there to focus on your own health and well-being. Getting yourself back into a good place mentally will be a huge win. We both know the ppl obsessed with performative activism aren't doing anything from a place of compassion. The real ones are out there making change, not sending people death threats online from the comfort and safety of their mommy's basement.

When I posted the pic of NCT Dream and Big Time Rush, I wrote in the tags how BTR was something my sister and I loved and bonded over. We watched the show even though it was obviously a kids show and we were both adults. It was just something that gave us joy. My sister passed away years ago and anything BTR-related will make me teary because I think about how much we laughed together over it.

So the first thing I get are messages over how problematic BTR is, that I should delete the post or I'm pro-genocide if I don't dislike them. Ngl that made me so upset because I got a bunch of faceless people trying to taint some precious memories of me and my sister. If they came at me trying to educate me on things I didn't know that would be different, but it's straight to judgment and hatred toward me over something I posted that was totally innocent.

Meanwhile I get criticized for posting about a kpop group instead of reblogging every call to action post. I donate my money to these causes, but I don't post about it because I don't need my ass kissed for doing what I know to be right. I am 1000% sure the anons in my inbox that try to police me have never given a dime to anything, but are policing people's blogs for not reblogging posts or talking about it more.

I feel bad that I haven't been very active on here this year so I try to come on when I have some free time to interact with you guys. I make a silly post about Doyoung and get anons tearing into me for it like I'm his social media manager. Okay so because the world is going to shit we aren't allowed to enjoy anything?? Can't make jokes about anything. Can't show support for anything. Just wrong on every fucking count.

Believe me I am so goddamn aware of how lucky I am that I can sit here and say I'm very privileged that I live comfortably in the life I have. I know what's going on in the world and I do my part to help where I can, but I also have to keep functioning. I don't want every minute of my life to be seeped in anger, I did that for a long time and it not only eats away at you, it makes you ineffective in actually changing the things making you angry in the first place.

This was just supposed to be a blog where I posted my stories. One of the few places I could go and not constantly be reminded of how fucked up the world is. I've always said that people who told me reading a fic of mine made their day a little better or helped them escape for a bit were always my favorite. That was what I came here for and I loved being able to share the tiniest moments of peace and quiet with others through stories with guaranteed happy endings.

I'm frustrated because I have 4 drafts ready to go next year. I got the story posts done and made all the headers. But I don't want to post them. I have no problem admitting I'm selfish and spiteful. Even though I can turn off anon, I can't block these miserable people and I don't want them reading my stuff. They don't get to consume my content and then tell me to off myself right after.

A massive fuck you to those of you that ruined this blog for me.

[broomsick]

Is it alright if I ask you for some guidance on connecting with the Norse pantheon? I'm entering into a really scary time in my life, grappling with going to college in the city despite being (up until now) a lifelong country bumpkin and possibly even moving out for the first time, all while being a timid autistic person with a terrible anxiety disorder.

Basically if there's ever a time I'd need the gods to be present in my life it's now, but I still struggle to feel connected with them sometimes. I still connect with them, I've had dreams where I talk with Odin and Thor and Freyr, but I can't say they're a completely consistent part of my life. Sometimes I even question if they're really protecting me, even though I know that's almost certainly the anxiety talking.

Is there anything you'd recommend doing to connect with the gods during a really stressful time? I have a very small and honestly not very impressive altar so maybe I should work to spruce that up more. Any guidance would be appreciated, sorry for bothering you 🙏 Thanks!

Hi there! First of all, I want to tell you that moving out is indeed scary, and it's very brave of you to consider moving so far! I definitely understand your situation, as I haved struggled with anxiety pretty much forever. Unfortunately, being a pagan with this sort of mental health challenge can bring about a lot of insecurity. And I find that sometimes, it can also make us feel disconnected from our spirituality. I don't think that this is something we can completely overcome. As a matter of fact, I find that it's better to ask yourself "why do I feel this way right now?", rather than say "I should be feeling this way, so why don't I?". What I learned with time is that our day-to-day circumstances affect our spirituality more than we think. For example, I often start to feel disconnected from my spiritual life when I've had a stressful week at work, or even just when I try too long and too hard to connect with the Gods. And on top of that, with social media being the way it is, people cant help but compare themselves with pagans who have more time and money on their hands. Now, I'm no expert on all things psychology, but I do know about spirituality. And I know that it comes and goes in waves: every single polytheist I've met experiences moments when they don't feel as connected to their Gods as they used to. Even those whose very career was tied to their spiritual practices. But those are not bad news! It only means that you have a healthy relationship with spirituality, and that you're not letting it overshadow the other important aspects of your life.

But more on the tips to stay connected to the Gods. What I know for certain is that sometimes, we have no control over how connected we feel to them. But there are a lot ways for you to keep them close to your heart. The first, in my opinion, is to make your spirituality into a safe and happy place. Find ways to make it fun! By listening to music that feels spiritual to you, writing down prayers or devotional poems when you’re inspired, wearing a piece of jewelry in their honor, making a Pinterest board into a little online shrine, drawing a rune or sigil which represents them on your skin, making art of the deities you love… In other words, don’t be afraid to mix your passions and your faith. No matter how “casual” it may feel! Sometimes, “casual” is what we can manage given our busy lives (which is why the size of your altar does not matter, it’s the love you pour into tending it that makes all the difference). It’s both perfectly normal and healthy. And if something about your practice/belief doesn’t feel right anymore, simply let go of it. Same goes if you don’t resonate with something that every other pagan seem to do.

Another tip I can give you is to simply try (don’t worry, I will elaborate). By this, I mean adopt simple gestures to honor them, even if there might not necessarily be a response. I find that this is especially important in moments when you struggle to feel the presence of your Gods. Leave them a small portion of your dinner every now and then. Do a little bit of research on this or that deity when you can. And if you’ve got the time, offer them a fruit, or a cup of coffee! Anything will do, no matter how small. Light a candle for them every night (routine helps a lot), and pray if you’ve got something on your mind. It’s normal not to see some sort of immediate response. But if you look around yourself during the day— if you look at the sunset on your way home from work, at the trees that rustle with the wind, or at the rain pouring outside your window—, and if you listen carefully to what people tell you, you might start to notice some signs. Recurring patterns and omens are a typical example of signs that a deity might send. It’s also fun to draw parallels between every day things and your deities. For example, to think of Freyr when you tend a cute new house plant. Or to pray to Skaði during a snowstorm! I have always loved “inviting” deities to witness certain events, so as to share the joy with them. I simply close my eyes, focus of the deity I want to call out to, and speak their name aloud, or murmur it. Actually, if you’re interested in this topic, I have written this post, which could be helpful to you!

Don’t be afraid to keep trying, that’s my most important tip. There’s really not much else we can do when we feel disconnected from our faith. Make your belief into something that feels right. Spirituality should be a happy place for you, and not a reason for worry. You deserve for your practice as a norse pagan to feel joyful and fulfilling. Above all, don’t force anything: these sorts of moments are inevitable. I’ve known them myself, and so has every other pagan. But things will get better soon, that I guarantee!

[moeitsu]

This shit-post is dedicated to my weird ass friends and the most out of pocket things they've said that I've written in the quote book I've kept in my notes since 2019. Enjoy:

The mayonnaise did wonders for my hair. -P

The Holy Spirit does not want to suck your balls. -E

That's the scariest thing about Halloween...young women. -N

You can put long pasta in there! -E You mean spaghetti? -M

I don't know what blood type I am, is there an app for that? -G

You already said you wouldn't eat my ass -E

What's your major? -K Oh, I'm American. -G

I'm gonna shit in that trash can. -G

Are we about to exchange insurance cards? -J

I'm pretty sure I don't wanna warm my pussy by the fire. -M

Ugh, I don't wanna be a femboy! -M

If you're so worried about the angles then just stick your fingers in the hole. -M

I wish I could be off the grid. -M Like homeless people? -E

Who needs bleach when you have discharge. -J

Why are there panties in your hat? -G

I think I'm mentally disabled. -M No, you're just mentally ill. -E

It could be a deer with down syndrome. -D

I remember when the only app they had was angry birds. -J

Now that's the kind of guy who should be reproducing. -J

Cute rhymes with stupid. -N

No arms, no legs, not even living. But watches porn. -R

Sweaty balls doesn't sound very appetizing. -T

You're starting to look like a real girl again. -N

I always poop in other people's houses. It's how I establish dominance. -T

No sir, I am from Boston. All I know is drink coffee and cuss. -M

The gas station bathroom was treacherous. Pretty sure I saw blood on the walls. -C

If it doesn't cure you, it'll kill you! -Z

Bone dry dunes? That's where you go when you run out of cum. -E

I live by the thee S's: serve, slay, survive. -G

I will not participate in the ass licking. -E

You white people always have cool ancestors. My ancestors were slaves. -S My ancestors were responsible for that. -G

That gives me a free pass to call you a bitch. I'll take it. -N

Would anyone wanna buy my wick-less candles? Shameless plug I know. -K

C'mere, come into my womb. -G

I like your dads meat. -E

Our family funds the entire therapy on the north shore. -B

You can't be this smart w/o massive mental health problems. -B

She doesn't like gay people? -M Nope, she's up in the air about black people too. -P

We're back to our regularly scheduled racism. -R

That's abortion money, not pedicure money. -K

I'm gonna give you a disability if you don't stop. -M

I can always fuck up chicken. Especially the breast. -N

Nice parking job Alabama. Was your sister giving you head while you were driving? -N

I don't think calories are real. I've never seen one. -M

Do you even know what man boobs are? -E It's literally in the name. -M

Can't men flick their nipples off? -E

Well, 5 out of 6 of us were born with a full spine. -E

What's the point of having a gf if you can't objectify her? -N

Mother fucker we don't own straws. We broke as shit. -N

You're like a lollipop triple dipped in psycho flavor. -P

What are you just not gonna feed your kid so you can afford to go to Disney? -A

Do you think she's trans? Like she was a dude and now she's a guy? -N You mean she was a dude and now she's a girl? -M

The boogeyman wants to suck you're toes. -M He would never, he's asexual. -P

We need a new toilet. -P This is American made! This is a quality toilet! -A

There's no one as Irish as Barack Obama. -N

She called me autistic! -P Well, it couldn't hurt to get tested. -A

The shirt says 'wicked strong' -M It should say 'wicked annoying' -N

What bitch is blowing up your phone? -M Literally your Dad. -N

I'm a white girl, of course I love cheese. -S

Why do bad things keep happening to me? Don't they know who I am! -N

It's because I feel safe here. -M Well, maybe you shouldn't. -N

The real magic happens when you embrace the delusion. -K

Oh look, the Trump tower! What if it just blows up? -R

I'm gonna be honest, I didn't finish the Bible. It's on my DNF shelf. Adam and Eve? I need enemies to lovers. -B

A woman bit me, I'm gonna become a prostitute. No! -S

Technically, I'm bisexual. -M You're too old for labels. -G

[imunbreakabledude]

maevelena marriage counseling, #1

hello; one of many scenarios that plagues my mind with these characters is imagining them in couple's therapy together. i have this snippets going in my head often, but they are very talk-y and don't necessarily have the cohesion or narrative drive to comprise a proper Fanfiction story, at least the way I like to write them. but after at least one (1) person expressing interest, I've decided to share some of them here on tumblr, in a very informal format. also as an exercise in sharing things and not overthinking or being a perfectionist. thus, these snippets are solely in dialogue form, and not too deep. technically, these are set in the aftermath of my long post-s3-maeve fic, so there may be slight spoilers for that story. anyways, here you go!

Maeve (hereafter “M”) and Elena (hereafer “E”) sit next to one another on their couch, queueing up a video appointment with Elena’s longtime therapist, Constance Alvarez (better known as “Connie,” herefter “C”).

E: Hi, Connie. Thank you so much for being open to this.

C: It’s my pleasure. I must say, it’s a bit exciting to finally meet your partner…

E: (a little giddy) my wife.

M: Hi there. Maeve, but you knew that. I’ve heard plenty about you too.

C: Oh? Good things I hope…

E: of course. … I’m so excited. This is so great. I’ve wanted to do this for years… and Maeve finallllly agreed… as a wedding gift.

M: Right. So, let’s get this done.

C: You seem a bit uncomfortable.

M: I’m not.

E: she’s a little nervous, because it’s her first time doing therapy.

M: well, I’m not, and also, it’s not. Let’s just get to whatever we’re supposed to talk about.

C: Well, is there anything you’d like to talk about?

(Maeve looks to Elena, expectantly.)

E: Go ahead.

M: what do you mean, go ahead? This was your idea, what did you want to do therapy about? Whatever it is I did that upset you, just get it out there so we can go over it and be done.

E: That’s not what this is about. It’s not a punishment.

M: It’s not?

C: Maeve, it sounds like you’ve had some negative experiences with therapy in the past.

M: not exactly positive, no.

C: would you mind telling me what happened?

E: Yeah, when did you even go to therapy?

M: Every few years, Vought had mandated “wellness checks” with the Seven. Which were basically just a show of how much they cared about the mental health of all their ‘assets’, started after that poor bastard Jetpack offed himself by flying into the stratosphere… Plus, every time I was in rehab, mandatory sessions. Each time some different quack. First guy who promised he was soooo good at keeping secrets from all the celebrity patients he had, proved it by giving examples…

E: you don’t have to worry about that, now. You can trust Connie. She’s been keeping your secrets for almost a decade now.

M: Of course. I appreciate that. You seem nice, and highly qualified, and I appreciate that you’ve helped Elena a lot. I just don’t really see the point.

E: it’s to—

C: Elena, if you wouldn’t mind. … Maeve, I’m curious as to why you came here, if you don’t see any point to it.

M: Elena asked me to.

C: Is that all?

M: I know it’s supposed to be helpful, or something. But I don’t get the point of paying you $150 an hour just to sit here and talk to us or make us talk to each other.

E: maeve!

M: I’m sorry. That sounded rude, and I didn’t mean it that way. The money isn’t an issue and I’m sure you’re worth it… I’ve certainly been paid more money to do stupider things. I mean, stupid things. What you do isn’t...(Connie bemused, unaffected) What I mean is, I don’t get why now, after we’ve already got so good at the honesty thing, why we need some paid referee.

E: she’s not here to be a referee. And this isn’t a band-aid.

M: then why are we here? People do marriage therapy when their marriage is failing.

E: that’s not true. Lots of couples do it on a regular basis, just to keep things smooth and ease any potential sore spots before they get too bad.

M: name one.

E: Isa and Antonio.

M: fuck, they DO have an incredible marriage…

E: It’s not that I wanted therapy because our relationship is doing badly, it’s that… we’re strong lately, and I want to stay that way. So I think it’s good if we talk…

M: but we talk all the time.

E: but having someone else here to offer new perspectives… it’s… you just have to give it a chance and see. I remember I was just as reluctant as you at the start…

C: that’s true.

E: but working with Connie has helped so much. And it’s a huge factor in me being able to be in this strong relationship with you… and has made me feel so much better as an individual… and I want that for you too. I know you think this is your wedding present to me, but it’s my wedding present to you, too.

M: So? … I’m here, aren’t I?

C: Yes, you are. … And one thing Elena didn’t mention, about my role here, is that if you aren’t feeling anything in particular you want to bring up, I’m here to get the ball rolling. So let’s start with something nice. How does it feel to be married?

M: Good.

E: Definitely.

(They grab hands, smiling. A bit too long…)

C: Does anything feel different now, than it did before you officially tied the knot?

E: I suppose, technically, no. But the commitment. Even if it’s symbolic, it feels good. Don’t have to worry that she’s gonna end things again. (Laughs)

M: (sarcastic) Okay.

C: What was that?

M: Hm? Nothing, just, I agree. It’s good to be committed.

E: No… You, like, scoffed. (She gives Maeve a look. The look that says, don’t bother saying you didn’t! … and Maeve relents.)

M: I just think it’s funny, you talking about me like I’m gonna ditch out on you, when I wasn’t the one who broke off our engagement…

E: It wasn’t serious, it was just a joke… And that was a mistake, yes. But if you want to get technical, you are far more prone to ending things between us than I am.

M: ‘Far more’? Last I checked, we’re tied!

C: If I might jump in here…

M: Ah, see, now the referee comes in to take your side… I see the point of therapy, now, someone else to say you’re right, when Isa is busy, huh?

C: I’m not here to take sides. In fact, what I was going to suggest is… I think it may help if I meet with Maeve one-on-one.

M: uh, what?

C: It’s true that we’re in a bit of a lopsided scenario, here. Elena and I have been meeting for many years, and we have a mutual trust, while you hardly know me at all, nor I you. I think it would help the couples sessions greatly if we were able to gain some understanding together first.

(Maeve looks to Elena, hoping she’ll veto it…)

E: I think that’s a really good idea.

(Maeve realizes the mess she’s gotten herself into.)

(Continued in part 2)

[theantarwitch]

About Comfort Zone and why is wrong used - Long Rant

Lately I been seeing a ton of people talking about the Comfort Zone, about how we can only grow if we step out it and all that, but mostly everyone forget to mention a little detail: The majority of the people have no Comfort Zone.

Let's back to the roots and copy and paste what wikipedia say about it: A comfort zone is a familiar psychological state where people are at ease and (perceive they are) in control of their environment, experiencing low levels of anxiety and stress. Bardwick defines the term as "a behavioral state where a person operates in an anxiety-neutral position." Brené Brown describes it as "Where our uncertainty, scarcity and vulnerability are minimized—where we believe we'll have access to enough love, food, talent, time, admiration. Where we feel we have some control.

So, the basic "rules" of the Comfort Zone says:

A) People must at ease and in basic control of their environment.

B) People are experiencing low levels of anxiety and stress.

C) The uncertainty, scarcity and vulnerability are minimized.

D) With well access to the basic needs (food, water, shelter, health care, hygiene, money, love, education, clothes, sleep, security... Pretty much the 3 basic levels of the Maslow's hierarchy of needs)

So, if you "fail" in some of the 4 basic "rules" of the Comfort Zone, you pretty much didn't have Comfort Zone.

Let's breal up that thing a little...

If you are not at ease (disconfort, anger, pain, sadness, uneasy, worried, etc), you are lacking Comfort Zone.

If you are not control of your environment (toxic/ traumatic house, abusive relationship, under manipulation, migration, homeless, disabled, etc), you are lacking Comfort Zone.

If you are experiencing high levels of anxiety and stress (pathologically high, unhealthy levels of it, panic attacks, floating anxiety, depression, PTSD, mostly all the mental illnesses), you are lacking Comfort Zone.

If you are uncertain, in scarcity and vulnerability (be part of a minority, experience racism, bullying, LGTBQIA+phobia, fatphobia, etc) and lacking some of the basic human needs, you are lacking Comfort Zone.

And if you are experiencing ALL OF THAT, you have NO Comfort Zone.

Now, let's have in mind the kind of world we are living currently... Many of us didn't have not even the basic level of the damn Maslow's pyramid and we have a "bingo" of a lack of all the 4 basic rules.. and the huge majority at least lack one of them... Why keep pushing about the Comfort Zone?

As a start, the main objetive of the Comfort Zone is self growth, things that are over the two basic layers of the damn pyramid. You NEED to have you BASIC NEEDS satisfied to focus in self growth. I'm not saying that you CAN'T pursue self growth if you are lacking them, but trully, your energy and mind have more urgent things to attend...

Example, myself. I lack of money and health care, I struggle with afford food and basic bills, I'm disabled and VERY neurodivergent, I suffer of Chronic Clinical Depression and Chronic Pain (with no meds and treatment because lol money) and I have problems to sleep, besides another huge chunck of issues. Do I try to grow as a person? OF COURSE! But I will not put myself on risk, for it. I need to grow in a way that I will not collapse because I haven't my basic needs covered. I DON'T HAVE COMFORT ZONE, so my growth must adapt to the little I can afford myself to do. I can't step over my Comfort Zone because I DIDN'T HAVE ONE TO START.

I repeat, you can't leave your Comfort Zone if you don't have it.

So, for the love of Maslow, people, stop to suggest to everyone to "step out the Comfort Zone" when, except some lucky ones (eat the rich), mostly of the normal people is struggling with not become homeless.

It feels invasive, like pushing us, and make us think that we are not growing enough and getting mentally better because we don't go out our "Comfort Zone". Feels like if you are drowing and some say "haha now try to swim with a shark and touch it, you will grow with that experience"... I'M DROWNING, I CAN'T BREATHE, I CAN'T EVEN OPEN MY EYES UNDER WATER, HOW I WILL TOUCH A SHARK?

Next time, be gently, be empathic. Self growth is great, but do it in a safe gentle way, that there are enough suddenly events in real life that will kick you out of your Comfort Zone by force, or even break your Comfort Zone, sometimes to the point that you will not have anything left.

Stop pushing, stop to add struggles when you are struggling every second of your life. Prioritize. You will have until the last second of your life to grow as a person, focus in your safety. Focus in create your Comfort Zone, in making it bigger, stronger. I want to see you happy, healthy and safe. I love you.

Edit: Someone also explain it amazingly here

[bwobgames]

Previous First

"Coffee, finally"

"Man, I can't believe it's over"

"That's understandable, we basically spent the whole night on panic mode"

"I know! And now we are supposed to go back and worry about normal stuff?

This is like when I was a kid and thought quicksand would be a big problem in my day to day life

What do you mean I don't have to think about time resetting maniacs anymore??"

"I mean, who would believe it?"

"That's true.

All of us are going to trauma bond so much"

"I can see that.

I'm glad we got friends out of it, at least.

That's how difficult it is to make friends as an adult, you need at least one stabbing for a dnd group"

"Been there, been there"

The house explodes again, the bomb squad is waiting on firefighters and the police.

The body was found and covered

They all agreed it was an attempted mass murder gone wrong

"... So, how do you feel?"

"Like a very used rope that will snap at the lightest weight"

"I feel like my skin is not as resistant as it used to be, like whatever happened took parts of me that I'll never get back"

"...Yeah, I understand"

"Not to be pessimistic, but part of me feels like I will never leave this place

Even though it's destroyed, even if they tear it down and build a starbucks on top

I think I'll still be here

A ghost of me"

Oliver Beebo recently started believing in ghosts

The supernatural and psychological type

"My dreams are going to get so weird now"

"Hey, I told you, didn't I? I have great contacts in the mental health department"

"Is that why you're so put together still?"

"I am nowhere near put together, I'm just great at acting like I do"

"I think someone called it masking?"

"Comes with the job"

"I'm sure"

Marigold approaches

"Hello! I wanted you two to know that we will take care of everything legal, but we do need you to testify, so if I could have your numbers for further contact?"

"Oh, of course"

"Also, the now renamed family Iraola cordially invites you to any and all holidays and game nights"

"Oh, nice! Does this involve card games?"

"If you ask Owen, he will immediately challenge you to some kind of battle on his multiple card game sets"

"I will bring only my best for such opponent"

"Uh, miss Marigold Iraola?"

"Yes?"

"When should we concrete the legal agreement to pass you the company?"

".... What?"

"You are the one who should have it. It's only fair"

He gives Oliver a look

"... really? But you used so much money!"

"Well, I wouldn't mind a, let's say, monetary compensation for my efforts both here and there"

"I don't think 'efforts' is the right word for your work at the company, Nadia would throttle you for saying that"

"Did it go broke."

"Uh. I don't know"

"...Alright, that's fine. I'll fix it and get you two with psychological compensation, medical compensation, and, well, compensation for the detective work"

"I have been in worse situations and been paid 20 dollars. This is the best thing that could happen to my wallet"

They interchange phone numbers and are put on the "Clock haters" groupchat

Vivi immediately floods his phone with cat memes

He answers with a thumbs up emoji

"... I feel like I should do something"

"It better not be stand up. Your ankle is lumpy and weird"

"No, no. I mean...

When I was at the other house, I promised to let a bit of beard grow, to, yknow, commemorate my survival, I guess.

Maybe I should let my hair grow? Would it look to unkept?"

"If you let someone else cut it, then you could look fine"

"But my money"

"I'll get it for you, im curious too.

Although, now we have these huge gashes on our faces, doesn't that count?"

"No, They weren't made intentionally.

...Maybe a tattoo?"

"Oh yeah! That's a good idea! I'll take you to my usual parlor"

"You have tattoos?"

"Yeah, but it's too cold to show you right now"

"Where will you go after this, by the way. Back to the capital?"

"No, I'm going to be too tired in the way there, I'll just stay the night at my hotel"

"Oh... well... y'know..."

"I don't live that far, well, I live in the region center, but that's way closer to here than the capital so, uh..."

"You could, you know, stay over if you want"

"... And do what?"

"Uh, do you like boardgames?"

"I supposed so"

"I really doubt we would have the energy to do anything else more, um, physically taxing"

"That's fair. I'll crash at your place then.

We could go sightseeing after, or just play video games inside"

"Yeah, and cook a nice breakfast, get some groceries maybe"

"Go to a park, get ice cream, play with your cat...

It would be nice, I'd like that.

A life like that"

"Ah, but I'm taking you to my apartment as well. You will meet the real city life, Coast Boy. "

"Oh, you city people with your underground trains and expensive international snacks"

"Haha, just the best for the capital!"

Silence hangs over them

"... I'm still scared"

"Of the future?"

"Yeah.

Will it ever go away?"

"... I don't know, I'll help you though.

I'll get you a planner. You can be like those instagram girls with a very strict planner"

"... Yeah, I guess.

Sorry, my mood is all over the place"

"I don't blame you"

"I mean, I don't even know what am I going to do after this. I'm basically out of a job"

"Well, what are your options?"

"I could go back to crime. Maybe hacking or something with medicaments, that could be fun."

"No, I'll get you"

"I know, but you'll do it lovingly"

"I guess I could go back to do something security related. It's boring, though."

"I heard my local chuck e cheese is hiring security guards"

"I am not applying as a night security guard in a building with animatronics."

"That's oddly specific"

"I still could be your detective assistant, I can use Excel, you know"

"You overestimate how much I'm paid"

"Or I could be literally anything else, but for now, I'll be on vacation"

"Yeah, me too"

"I'm thinking of taking cases of more haunted houses"

"... Are you out of your mind"

"I know how to stop them, and I wouldn't be going blind like these last two. I could even find a way to do it without entering them"

"Please stop risking your life. The detective life is already dangerous enough"

"I'm the house killer, the home terror"

"Sure, sure

Maybe I should be your bodyguard"

"Again, you overestimate how much I can afford"

They drink their drinks in silence

They can't help but feel slight sadness at it all

But time doesn't stop

"Ángel! Ángel look!"

"Huh?"

"The light, the sunrise is starting!"

It is 8:00 am

The sun is coming out

A cold breeze passes through them

The chatter of everyone quiets down

The sun is back

A new day has started

It always will

A collective melancholy passes through all of them

The eternal night is over

What now?

The future is waiting

They are alive

They will live another day

As many as they can

"We'll be alright

Not all of the time, but we will.

I'm going back home, finally

I've lost so much

And gained as well

I'm full of conflicting feelings that my subconscious will have a blast using

I'm scared too

But I'll be brave

Just to see another sunrise like this

With people that I love

We'll be alright

The future is full of chances"

A new day is born

And they watch it together

Hand in hand.

Thanks for playing

[jonjaydami]

OK. Within the Princess/Knight/Dragon dynamic (damsel, rescuer of damsel, guardian of damsel). I know the automatic assumption is Princess Jay, Dragon Dami, and Knight Jon. But I think it's actually Princess Jon (golden retriever, denial ain't just a river in Egypt if you ask him about his mental health, would pretty much provably canonically rather die than admit he's not okay and needs time off but I think that'll get better once he admits he has trauma), Dragon Jay (firmly believe he can and will throw down with anyone who tries to hit Jon while he's down, does not give a shit if they're actual deities or Lex Luthor's latest pet project, Jon is polite and helpful whether he's capable of being helpful without hurting himself or not so SOMEONE has to tell everyone asking him to do things to fuck off, and Dami can and does but Jay is more vicious and personal about it because he gives fewer fucks about Nightwing using the disappointed mom voice), and Knight Dami (these two can't stay out of trouble to save their actual lives and if they won't stop fistfighting dictators they're going to need someone with infinite bail money who isn't above quietly removing many of the dictators key pawns before they can be used against his boyfriends). Propaganda for this theory includes the mental image of Suffering From Kryptonite Exposure Jon being protected by a visibly unhinged Jay who is worried but not terrified because his job is to hold down the fort till Damian can rescue them (it's about them relying on each other it's about Jon letting himself be hurt and Jay letting himself be scared and Damian letting himself be in love), and the idea of YouTube compilations existing titled 'Gossamer and Superman getting bailed out by Robin for forty two minutes and eighteen seconds'

I literally love this so much. I love the analysis you were going for and its literally what I've been trying to say all along.

I love the way your broke it down and talked about it cause I agree Jonathan may be perceived as invincible but he's not. He may have superhuman abilities but other then that he is basically just a human. Like he has trauma that needs to be desperately talked about but he doesn't want to cause he thinks he would be a burden and useless (which he could never)

Jay is sassy and will literally go crazy mode for his boyfriends. Literally no questions asked he would throw down. People think Damian is the demon who is unhinged but really it's because he had a really scarred past of being an assassin. Hurting people is what he thought was right and thats how you took put targets but then he learned to be better and that there are ways to handling things that don't need violence.

He also is very emotionally constipated (thats literally 90% of the bat fam tho) and has a hard time expressing himself and talking and it always comes out like he's mad or angry when in reality being angry and defensive just feels like the best way to deflect. This is why I think Jay is a very good rendition to Jonathan and Damian. He is like a balance to a scale they didn't even know they needed.

Also is it weird that I've been thinking about making a fantasy fic for them? Like you beat me to the punch but it's weird how you read my mind. In all honesty if you ever wanna debate hit me up cause I have so much stuff we could discuss about this.

[lunarsilkscreen]

Am I Autistic?

Short answer; yes probably. To paraphrase the epic Catch-22 states: "You have to be crazy to keep going; and if you can acknowledge you're crazy--then you're not crazy."

Please wait a moment while the crowd lambasts me for equating autism to insanity. It's warranted.

A record 1 in 4 people are thought to be showing symptoms of autism this year, and about a quarter of that *might* consider going to a mental health professional for diagnosis.

When we think of "Autism" we don't consider that there might be a mild of it. You are either full-blown, and cannot operate under normal conditions or you're probably showing signs of Munchausen instead.

If one cannot be a movie star; then the next best thing for ratings is to have some sort of disorder--Or to shoot up a school.

But there's a deeper significance to the self-admission of so many people; people are actually worried about mental health for once in a way that is productive.

People that self-diagnose can be dropped into two categories; "I *feel* the need to be doing better at life," AND "I need a reason to stop trying so hard."

Which suggests even *deeper* meaning than that.

People are trying to hard.

This is tied together with worker wages and the economy. After all; if you work hard, you should be able to spend a portion of that money supporting a neighbors business in order to start a little community operation.

That's literally the origin of investment. Buying goods and services from your neighbors.

Many people can't afford *even* that.

Between the feeling of the person we need to be, and the person we want to be; this suggests a large portion of people are doing the former instead of the latter.

Why? There is no *Great War*. There is no *draft*.

Yet we feel this urge to just keep doing the thing; until such a time that we no longer need to keep doing the thing. Whatever that *thing* is.

Why is everyone working so hard, when there's literally no reason to?

Russian and Ukraine maybe, but if you're in the U.S. you can go join that if you wish. Are you trying to protect something? Revenue maybe?

You probably need to slow down and rethink your business practices. As soon as people can no longer support your business... There is no income.

We think; well there's always a bigger fish.

"There's always more land"

"somewhere else *you* can go."

Right?

Not until Elon figures out the Mars thing.

And this is *part* of why people are starting to self-diagnose. That mentality... The one Business leaders think is unique to them. The one that's been bleeding out to the masses through infomercials.

Everybody is seeing the world for what it is and rightly stopping and thinking; "Why don't I fit in?"

And what everybody is just now hopping on the bandwagon for that Punk rockers of yesteryear knew; There is no *normal*.

That conformity that everybody seems to drive towards; isn't healthy. Now; there is a time and place for professionalism and non-professionalism.

But the world decided shortly after the industrial period that Professionalism extends everywhere that isn't your own house.

It's not about walking naked down the street. People can't even cloth their bodies in a way that feels normal and natural to themselves.

Not just transgender and drag reasons; Industrial one-size fits all clothing. I say, and it rings true because it's certainly something I've heard before. That people have been saying: before.

The definition of Insanity is doing the same thing everyday and expecting things to change.

Unprofessionalism and non-conformity is how we change.

Professionalism is only how you beg for money, or get the job at hand done.

And even then; The decision for "Flair" is a personal one.

This went way off on tangent. I'm bringing it back now:

Are you autistic? Maybe. Am I? Most definitely. But, it's not new for me; I already knew what I needed to do to take care of myself. It's the little nuances everybody else seems to expect that gets in the way of that.

Despite the bigotry.

Everybody is a little autistic, we all see the world in different ways and do not fit the mold. Only the most average person can or will.

And from some perspective; you're completely insane.

However; I think there's a wider issue at hand. One probably noted before. Now I definitely am switching back to the mainline.

All this stress; is literally affecting our collective brain mass. There's certainly a study to be made about the negative impacts of such conformity and stress and living conditions. Even in the First-world.

Because humans weren't made to live this way.

[queen-diamond-serenity]

Dutch van der Linde is not the only one with faults. But I love how people act like he is!

But somehow his faults and shortcomings are the only one where we see fans interested in complaining about bringing up causing debates and mayhem over the most.

You have the woman you love die brutally at the hands of another rival gang member leader. And then the man you've been friends with for 20 plus years you watch him get shot in his chest by a piece of shit coward who's only interested in protecting the interest of Elites. A agency that attacks working protesters that are under minimum wage and even has killed them for protesting.

You are the leader of one of the most successful Outlaw gang probably and recorded fictional history. And watch it burn to ashes because of a mole named Micah planted there. (I don't care what nobody says Mr Bell had dark intentions from the beginning)

You have the law from every direction coming against you. And after you watch your best friend and another guy that you looked at like a son get brutally killed you don't even have time to sit there and grieve over it because you have to worry about everyone and everything else. As soon as you watch them die you're stranded on some Island thousands of miles away from your Homeland being hunted in another war that don't have shit to do with you. No matter where you go you're being hunted for some reason even when you have nothing to do with their War they just want you.

You're accused of being fake and accused of not wanting to retrieve your adopted son out of a correctional facility. Simply because fans who hate you judge you too harshly but they're not trying to see reason. You knew that they were going to hold John there knowing your history of busting your fellow man out. And they were basically using him as bait. People spend their time making fun of you always saying you got a plan but they didn't really consider why you held off on trying to rescue John.

No one even gave you a chance to see if you could come up with a plan yeah I get people where paranoid because there was talks of hanging in but I doubt they would have did that. Because they knew who John was to you.

Oh let's not forget you being blamed about wanting to do the robbery in Saint Denis when it was actually Hosea's idea to begin with when you were actually against it. But because fans are known to run through this game and not thoroughly investigate certain things that goes over their heads.

To try to make a long story short we all know what happens after he returned to america. Everything goes to ship because he can no longer trust those that's closest to him because of paranoia and what may have you and this is a natural occurrences in gangs.

Let's talk about the fact that in spite of all your faults after it's all said and done you come back to kill Micah along with your Prodigal Son and even leave him the money that was stolen. In spite of your shortcomings you did try to make things right in spite of the bitterness still left there and even that's not enough.

Oh I forgot that bring up that accident he happened on the tram. He suffered a concussion and he was all so probably dealing with other underlying mental illnesses he could have had a little bit of bipolar or borderline personality disorder going on. You got to understand the times Dutch was living in wasn't exactly Hands-On with therapy and mental health crisis. Or knowing how to help a concussion. You can tell after that accident he started to really lose it. It contribute to already an existing problem going on with that man. But y'all like to overlook a lot of things as usual.

You're accused of being a narcissistic sociopath after doing this because you know your haters like to believe that everything you did from there on out was just about you you were doing it to serve your own ego when we know that's not the case you see how they have to make shit up just to fit their cause. His apologies don't need to do such thing. Dutch apologists don't make excuses for his wrong and shortcoming we acknowledge them we're just pointing out the reasons for a lot of the things he have done. Being aware of the reasons and making excuses for them are two completely different things. I don't expect people who have one dimensional mindset who are closed-minded who act like they don't touch grass on a regular basis and who are basically cookie cutter copy and paste commenters that are all saying the same thing that the next person said because they don't think for themselves obvious are going to go along with that bullshit.

With all of this being said tell me this, if you were in this position tell me if you could be able to keep it all together?

So easy to judge when you sitting comfortable.

We all love to say what we would and wouldn't do when we're not in the same spot someone else's judging from the outside looking in. It's easy to talk shit and judge when you sitting comfortable like I said. Go figure.

But carry on.

[tordenvejr]

Hi Vic! How are you doing? I need an advice from you, if that's okay. Here's the thing - I am still a bachelor's student at 23 year old. The reason of this is mental health struggles. I haven't been able to support myself yet, I barely manage to get Uni work done. I had few tries at working simultaneously but I miserably failed. So now my sole focus is to get this diploma and knowledge down. I am blessed and privileged enough to have my family support me. We are definitely upper middle class. I have a friend, or more of an acquaintance in university, bit older than me, that is working several part-time jobs and her parents are sadly not alive. She is struggling a lot financially/ I have helped her two time with rent money with very little contribution, whatever amount I could, have told her she could spent the night or even several weeks at my place, and now she texted me she needed money for food and I sent her again little amount of money, whatever I could. If I didn't feel guilty enough for being dependent on my parents, I would ask for more money now, so that I could help her better. I have birthday coming up in few weeks, and for the 1st time in 11 years I decided to officially celebrate it. My parents were more than glad to help out, we chose a nice place I have invited about 10 people. I feel a lot for my friend who struggles financially and I feel exteremelyyyy guilty for having family support and privilege to solely focus on University and not work. This guilty feeling really really bothers me - I have told her my situation as well, that I struggle with several mental health issues (and she has those as well she;s told me, I imagine in lot worse condition maybe) that if I had my own income I would gladly help her a lot more. now that she'll see that I celebrated my bday in this fancy place, I think she's gonna, idk, think bad of me? That if I can afford to do this, I should maybe be able to help her with more money than I have in the past. And god knows I can't, for everyday living I need lot more money than I usually ask for (My uni is in different city than my parents, and more expensive) and I will postpone asking my parents for money till I am really out of food. idk if this friend will think anything about me, I don't think she is a bad person. But why do I feel so bad thinking that she will judge me? Is this even something I can feel bad about?

hi 🐇🪽 talk to your friend, express what you've expressed here 🤍 the longer it goes unsaid the more the guilt and fear of misunderstanding flames up. specifically for this situation maybe she could be invited to your birthday? you say friend/acquaintance so of course this is if the relation is set for it and if it is otherwise a possibility, but i know when we've struggled financially it's been a lifesaver when we've been invited out to eat and haven't had to worry about affording food at least that day. you explain why you haven't graduated, why you don't ask for the money you need for yourself, and if you're even allowed to feel the feelings that you're feeling. i would gently look at what that's about. i don't need you to explain those things - because i don't have a magnifying glass scrutinizing you to make you a villian or less than, but maybe someone else has done that? there might be something more hidden in there that feels insecure that could do with a healthy dose of acceptance and compassion. because you are allowed your feelings, you are permitted not to explain yourself, and it is understandable that even though your family has money if there are dynamics in place that prevent you from receiving it - that you don't have that same money that they do

[mistydeyes]

hi, i was wondering if you're still doing pairings for mw2? if not, just ignore this <3

LOOKS: bi woman with chest-long black hair with the lower half of it dyed red, pale, brown eyes. my style is goth, so i'm usually seen with big eyeliner and black lipstick and wearing my meather jacket, demonias and usually some ripped clothes depending if i wanna dress like a victorian vampire or a homeless ghoul

PERSONALITY: I'm sarcastic and blunt, not afraid to clap back if someone does me wrong, pretty foul-mouthed (as my mum says) and I struggle with showing my emotions which usually makes me seem cold and distant at first, but I'll warm up a bit after some time — i have a soft spot, i'm just tough to crack. I don't like to follow rules which gets me into trouble sometimes, my love language is (gently) bullying my friends but I'm also the mum friend, so I look out for them, give them scary dog privileges when they walk with me and bring them coffee and food to work. I prefer to be alone, usually listening to music, reading books or going on a walk at the local graveyard, but I also enjoy the company of a good friend in silence.

I study psychology and I give tutoring lessons to kids. I also prefer to stay quiet unless I'm with close friends, I'm very attentive and tend to psychoanalyze everything and everyone around me, even myself, so I usually figure out if something's off. I also struggle with my mental health and anger issues, but I'm working on it.

Thank you if you still do the pairings and don't worry if you don't, I'll gladly reread your fics instead <3 Much love – 🕷

Simon "Ghost" Riley (a/n: aww thanks for the kind words anon! hope you enjoy this!!)

How you met: Civilian You sighed as you finished up your tutoring lesson with your group of primary school students. Your group of 6 and 7 year olds learned various homophones and how to spell them. It wasn't your favorite lesson to tutor but you enjoyed giving out stickers for their achievements. As their parents came to pick them up, one of your students sat patiently. "My Uncle Simon is picking me up today," he excitingly reminded you. His father and mother, the Mactavish's, were out of town so they informed you that a Simon Riley would be picking up the young boy. "I see him!" he yelled and was about to run off before you stopped him. "I just need to check his ID and you're good to go," you gently said before he sat back down in his chair. When Simon finally approached, he was much different than what you had expected. He wore a black hoodie with jeans and a face mask. He also towered over you as you asked for his ID. After he presented you with his military ID (you put the pieces together as to how him and Johnny were acquainted), you let the excited boy go. He quickly gripped on to Simon's forearm and swung from it as he signed the sign-out sheet. "Uncle Simon, Uncle Simon, can we get ice cream on the way home?" he asked as Simon looked down to the little child. "As long as you can tell me what you learned today, your parents pay good money for you to get tutored," he laughed slightly and you could see the corner of his eyes perk up. "Thanks again Miss," he nodded to you before leaving. As you packed up your things, you secretly hoped he would be back for pick-up again.

A peek into your relationship: "Alright level 1," you said as you picked up the white card, "what was your first impression of me?" "Why are we playing this again?" he asked as you laid in his lap. "Because Simon, I'm a psych major 'We're not really strangers' is a game that was made for me," you dramatically said as you dangled the card in his face. "Alright," he said as he thought over his next words, "definitely didn't expect you to be a tutor, you looked like a witch or a vampire who eats kids," he joked. You punched his shoulder lightly, "I'm sorry at least I didn't show up looking like the grim reaper." "But after I heard the little MacTavish talk about you, I thought you weren't all that bad and had a soft spot for kids," he finished and you were satisfied with the answer. "As for you, I thought that even though you looked scary, the way you entertained Johnny Jr. and took him out for ice cream was cute," you replied as you smiled up at him. "I also may or may not have asked him some covert questions if you were single or not," you winked and Simon laid a kiss on your forehead. "Yeah, he also might have told me your ideal date was in a fucking graveyard," he replied and you both laughed as Johnny Jr. was correct and the rest was history.

[cobrex]

Every now and then I remember my ex and how much he fucked up my mental health. He's fun, so people tend to write his actions off as childish and not actually abusive. But I remember the times when we were altogether with friends and how many times his friends would pull me aside and ask if I was okay or tell him what he was doing was fucked up. But our mutual friends we had mostly sided with him.

He had this thing that no matter what I brought up it would turn into how I hurt his feelings by bringing it up and omg he's a bad person how could he do that to me and then I would be comforting him for hurting me in fucked up ways.

He's the source of my disordered eating. He's the source of my deep hatred of my body.

I'm absolutely livid at anyone who says they're worried about my health when they just mean that I'm fat.

When he was 'just worried about' me, he cried to me about how fat and disgusting I was and how he just couldn't get his dick up with me because he's just so worried about my health. He refuses to touch me. He'd disappear when I begged to be loved. He forced me to workout after an emergency surgery because the swelling didn't attract him. I told him I couldn't have sex for 6 weeks and he found a girl who just graduated high school and got her to break up with her boyfriend to date him and told me while I was in the emergency room. Then he broke up with me because I was too fat. And he realized this because he compared my body to his new high school gf.

I refuse to ever feel that kind of loneliness and ache again.

I can't wait to rip out the last roots of control he has on me. That mother fucker made me feel like I have no worth if I can't get a guys dick up. I have no worth if I'm not attractive and if anything happens, even an accident, I will be left.

I worked out 5 days a week. 2-3 hrs a day. Biked everywhere. Did martial arts. And I had no money for food. And that will always be the image I have in my head when I think about how fat and disgusting I was.

I worry that people I'm with now all secretly think about how disgusting I am and how I have no worth. And I worry that if I can't lower my weight that they'll leave me. Because I don't mean anything if I can't make a guy hard. But what if I can never get back to how I looked before? Will I still be loved? Unconditionally?

I never look at my partners and think about how their body should be different. I don't understand why anyone thinks it's okay to look at mine and think I need to be different to be more attractive to them.

And if my partners ever do feel like that. I hope they know that's a thought you should keep to yourself.

I'm already at disordered eating. I'm already at body dysmorphia. I'm already at deep self hatred. You confirming that I don't in fact mean anything and cannot be loved because of my size will not help me out of this.

Fuck my ex.