#why do people keep trying to tell me who i'm allowed to ship?

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #5548:

Which one says more "groomer"?

"NSFW - Trigger warnings: age gap, noncon 18+ only, dead dove do not eat, minors keep out" "What you enjoy in fiction is mot necessarily what you think is acceptable or good in real life, and that's okay. Just be courteous and respect people's boundaries, tags, filters, and content warnings are useful tools. Fiction is a safe way of exploring unsafe concepts. Many people use fiction as a method to work through their traumas, but its okay even if that's not the reason they like it, some people are just drawn to taboo subjects, that's completely natural. Regardless we're not going to try to force people to open up about their past traumas, nor any other personal information. No story should be banned from being told just because it makes some people uncomfortable. Art is meant to provoke intense emotions, afterall. Even if I don't like something, it's not my business to tell someone else what they should or should not create. I'm an adult and its MY responsibility to manage my emotional responses, not anyone else's. If you find yourself unable to manage please remove yourself from this space and find somewhere more suitable.

or

"EVERY OTHER ADULT BUT ME is out to get you!! I'M the only one I can trust!! I only like WHOLESOME ships and WHOLESOME content!! Look at this GROSS NASTY PORN someone made!! They tried to hide it because they don't want anyone to know what a GROSS FUCK they are!! That's why I'm showing it to all of you!! I can't trust anyone unless you detail ALL of your privileges and your traumas! And if anyone steps one toe out of line by enjoying a problematic cartoon ship I'll publicly shame them and tell all my other 14 year old friends to bully harass cyberstalk and socially ostracize them as well and if they don't I'll make sure the same thing happens to them!! This is for the SAFETY of other minors and NOT because of any petty personal vendetta!! ALSO I think its a good idea to send specifically minors to mess with people who - I claim to truly believe are - ACTUAL REAL PEDOPHILES-- to totally frickin own them online!! Anyone who disagrees with me is a pdo and gromer!!! So ONLY LISTEN TO ME!!! NO opposing or outside perspectives allowed!! I'm a good, SAFE, HEALTHY, NORMAL ADULT!! PROSHITTERS KYS!!!!!!"

[spirantization]

"Wild Blue Yonder" dealt with some of the emotional fallout of the Flux, so I want to rewind a bit and look at what that means for the Doctor.

I know that the Timeless Child and the Flux are contentious topics. I'm not here to argue either way. But now those storylines have decisively not been retconned, and with both of these fresh in my memory, I feel the need to offer some context for anyone who may not have seen it, and to recontextualize it for myself and anyone who has.

NotDonna: You don't know where you're from. The Doctor: How do you know that? How does anyone know? How does Donna know?

In "The Timeless Children", we find out that the Doctor was discovered as a child alone under a wormhole, and adopted by a woman named Tecteun. There was an accident where the Doctor fell from a cliff and regenerated, and subsequently Tecteun performed "experiments" on them to try to understand regeneration. The show minces words about this but she killed a child a whole bunch of times is what happened. Her experiments created the Time Lords and allow them to engineer their regeneration properties. The Doctor has no memory of any of this, and only finds out via the Master and information stored in the Time Lord Matrix.

The Doctor, predictably, doesn't tell anyone about this revelation. She makes a speech to the Master about how this makes her more, we get a single shot of her looking a bit tired in the TARDIS, then she immediately gets thrown in prison.

Ultimately, the Doctor doesn't know where they're from or who their parents are. And the very fact that they're not from Gallifrey is information that no one in the universe should have. Everyone who knew is now dead.

NotDonna: I saw it in your head. The Flux. The Doctor: It destroyed half the universe because of me. We stand here now, on the edge of creation, a creation which I devastated, so yes I keep running, of course I do! How am I supposed to look back on that? NotDonna: It wasn't your fault! The Doctor: I know!

A fun fact about the Flux is that the Doctor did not cause it. So why does he blame himself? Because the person who caused the Flux was Tecteun.

The reason why Tecteun wanted to destroy the universe is because the Doctor interfered with things too much. Too much morality. Too inspirational to people. She calls them a virus. So her solution to the problem of the Doctor is to destroy the universe, with the Doctor inside, and take her ship to a different universe to start fresh. She also was the one to steal all the Doctor's memories of previous lives in the first place. She's dismissive and patronizing and clearly does not care about the Doctor on an emotional level at all. Tecteun is a piece of work, and the implications of her actions and how they've shaped the Doctor have the potential to go deep.

Thirteen doesn't get too much of a chance to react to any of this, because there is plot going on. And shortly after they reunite, Tecteun gets killed by a different villain. So there was no emotional closure in the moment, and there's now no possibility for the Doctor to make sense of her actions. The Doctor does not tell any of her friends about any of these events. She keeps promising to tell Yaz but does not.

"Wild Blue Yonder" is the first time we, as the audience, hear the Doctor discuss the Flux. And their perception of events is skewed at best. The Flux wasn't caused because the Doctor made a mistake and a lot of people were killed, which is what you can argue for many other situations. The Flux and the devastation of the universe was caused by their mother, who promptly turned around and told them it was their fault for being such an interfering nuisance. We know that the Doctor is often an unreliable narrator, but this is beyond that. These are the words of an abused child who has internalized the narrative that the abuse was their fault.

So the Doctor being able to talk about this with Donna, who has seen what happened, who knows him, and tells him that it's not his fault — it means so much to him. He wants it to be her so badly. And then NotDonna laughs in his face. You can see the devastation. He thinks for one moment that he can finally talk about this with his best friend, and it's snatched away from him. He gives himself a moment to break down in the corridor, and then you can see the walls rebuilding as he suppresses it all again.

At the very end of the episode, back in the TARDIS, he's trying very very hard to be nonchalant. I'm curious. The NotDonna could remember all these things that happened to me while we were apart. Can you? Just wondering. Things happened, but I'll be fine. In a million years. It's not a joke.

He wants so badly to be able to talk about this. You can see it in all the lines of his body language. He's keeping himself together but is prepared to fall apart in an instant. He doesn't want to actually tell anyone, but if Donna just magically knew already, and could tell him it wasn't his fault — well, that would make the world of difference. But she doesn't know, and he can't bring himself to tell her. And so the cycle continues.

[myfandomrealitea]

ok I’ll be honest, I was one of the people who approached your safe space post with the mindset “yeah, but…” like, I now whole-heartedly agree that there should absolutely be fandom spaces devoid of real world issues. We all need our spaces to rest and relax. I think I just felt weird about your post because previously ive been in fandom spaces which did operate on the (perfectly fine) rule of ‘no politics’…but ‘politics’ would also include talking about a gay ship or any queer headcannons.

That obviously wasn’t fair to you because you obviously didn’t mean that w/ your post, but I can personally see as to why some people would feel that way if they were in similar fandom spaces. I do still want to reiterate I do agree with your post and I think some of the rebloggers took it…a bit far? Like Jesus Christ some of y’all need to eat a snickers. I also think some of the wording like “bitching about world issues” and “whining about their shitty parents” might’ve thrown me off but that’s not your fault and really a non-issue 🤷🏽‍♀️

you can delete this ask if you want I really won’t mind, I think I can just see as to why there were so many ‘yeah, but…’ rebloggers.

I actually really appreciate asks like this. For a multitude of reasons, but also because it gives really good insight and outer perspective for both me and other people who are aware of or involved in the discussion.

I think what a lot of people don't yet grasp about me is that while I may hold an opposing view to yours (general, not directed), in the vast majority of cases I still very much understand why people would think the way they do and where that thought process comes from and goes.

Its very, very easy to fall into the mindset of thinking that not helping when you have the ability to makes you a bad person or however in/directly causes suffering. Its very easy to be in the mindset of one single individual making a magnitude of difference.

I fully and genuinely understand and comprehend a lot of the points being brought up.

I just don't agree with them and hold a different outlook on those issues.

For example:

Talking about enjoying a queer ship to me is not 'political' in the sense that, personally, if you're a homophobe and upset by generic conversations about queer people, I really could not give a fuck. And if you raise objections to me talking about two dudes kissing, I'm simply going to remove you from my space because clearly it is not beneficial for either of us to share it. And I made it.

Its obviously very very much down to personal discretion to decide where that line is and what that bracket encompasses, but I think the most universal aspect of that safe space post was trying to get people to understand that forcing others to suffer in solidarity isn't activism and that strangers are not obligated to allow you to use them as support and a dumping ground for your needs.

Spreading around videos of people's dead loved ones isn't activism.

Spamming taglines and buzzwords on completely unrelated posts and videos isn't activism.

Relying on complete strangers for emotional and mental support and regulation while dumping vulnerable, graphic, personal information on them is neither safe nor healthy.

People are not obligated to smother or confine their happiness because of your misery. If you're having a bad day you have no right to tell other people they can't be happy in front of you.

A lot of people, mostly white knighters and people of color took the post as "a white privileged pig saying its okay to let racism slide because you want to play your video games" (actual hate mail I received) and that's so laughably and wildly far from the actual basis of the post.

I've had bigots in my servers before. Homophobes or racists who've slipped through the cracks.

You know what happens when they say something homophobic or racist?

They're immediately removed, blocked and reported, and their information is placed in a private document I keep. I issue an apology to the members of the server for their actions, and life goes on.

People are, of course, entitled to take the post as they see fit. They're entitled to their own perspectives and opinions. I'm more than happy to simply focus on the people who have taken support, guidance and solace in the post.

[canirove]

The invinsible princess | Chapter 8

“Royal wedding?”

Chapter 7 | Chapter 9

Masterlist

“Oh my God, not this again!”

“What happened?” Irene says.

“The press” I sigh. “They are back to writing articles about me and who is going to be my prince.”

“Why would they… Oh. Leonor.”

“Yep” I say, throwing my phone to the other side of the sofa.

The English press had caught her in London with an old friend she had met years ago while she was finishing her studies in Scotland, the heir of a very famous and kind of powerful family among the British nobility. And since over there the press doesn't respect us the way the Spanish one does, and we don't have the sources we have here that allow us to stop things before they are published, the photos were shared by an English tabloid and there was nothing we could do about it. 

Things have been a bit crazy since then, paparazzis following us all trying to get more information about Leonor and her first known boyfriend. But the thing is that, even though you can see them kissing and holding hands in those photos, they aren't dating. According to what she's told us, it was just a fling because they happened to cross paths after a long time. 

But now, because of it, the press is back to bothering me and writing articles about my love life, making bets about who I will end up dating and shipping me with whoever I'm seen with, something that almost ended my real relationship once. 

“I mean, if you had made your engagement official already, they would not be writing those things” Irene says. “It's been almost a year, Sofía.”

“I know. But we still haven't found the right moment to do it.”

After Pedri and I got engaged, my parents suggested that it was best to keep it private for a few months so we could enjoy it and have enough time to tell our friends and family. But once those months passed, Pedri was playing football again and things weren't the best at Barça, so we decided to postpone it until the end of the season so it wouldn't add more pressure to him and the team. The press would go nuts with the announcement and some of them would not be nice, their headlines definitely blaming me for how bad they were playing, or saying that since he was going to be a prince, he didn't care about playing football anymore. 

“The season has basically ended. Why not now?” Irene says.

“Because he still has to play the Champions League final, the most important game. We can't just drop the bomb before it.”

“And after? You could make your relationship official by doing a Casillas and Carbonero on the pitch while celebrating that they've won. If they win, of course. Though maybe you can also do it if they lose. The princess comforting the football star” she says with a teasing smile.

“Idiot” I reply, hitting her with one of the pillows. “But we can't do that either. I mean, if they lose, it would be a way to distract people from it. But they would probably also blame me for the loss.”

“That's very likely, yes... How are you going to do it, then?”

“I don't know, Irene. I don't know” I sigh.

If only we could just get married like normal people do and don't have to make any official announcement about anything…

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“I'm sorry” I say, taking Pedri's hand on mine.

“It's ok” he says, resting his head on my shoulder. 

“You played really well, you know? I know you gave it all out there.”

“But it wasn't enough.”

“It was” I say, giving his hand a little squeeze. “It's not your fault your teammates are useless.”

“Sofía!” he laughs. “They could hear you, you know?”

“They all are too gutted to care about what I may say.”

Because Barça had lost the Champions League final. It had been a really tough game, one of the toughest this season. And when you make it to penalties, anything can happen.

“Besides, I made you laugh and smile, and that's all I care about right now” I say, caressing his cheek.

“Thank you” he says, curling up against me. 

“Why don't you try to sleep for a bit? We still have a couple of hours left until we land in Barcelona.”

“I don't think I can” he sighs. “I can't stop thinking about the game, about things I could have done differently.”

“Then let's make you not think about the game.”

“How?” he chuckles.

“By talking about something else. For example… Our holidays.”

“With your family, mine, or on our own?”

“Well, the ones with my family may be the important ones. Because…” I say, biting my lip.

“Because?” Pedri says, looking up at me.

“Because now that the season is finally over, we could… You know. Make it official.”

“Urgh, that” he groans. “Why can't we just get married and not tell anyone? Like you've told me many times, you aren't the heir. Why is it so important what you do or don't do?”

“Good question” I chuckle. “But that's how the protocol works.”

“Fuck the protocol” he says, lifting his head from my shoulder. “Let's get married, Sofía.”

“What?” 

“Let's do it. This summer.”

“Pedri, you know that we can't. We have to…”

“What did I just say? Fuck the protocol, Sofía. We want to get married, don't we? It is what we keep dreaming about since we got engaged.”

“It is.”

“And we want to do it in Tenerife.”

“Yes” I nod.

“Then let's do it. Let's invite our families and closest friends to our house there with some excuse, and let's surprise them by getting married.”

“Pedri, are you sure they didn't hit your head during the game?” I laugh.

“I'm serious, Sofía” he says, now being the one who gives my hand a little squeeze. An encouraging one. “Let's get married and don't give a shit about the protocol, the press or whatever.”

“You are being serious, aren't you?”

“Deadly” he says. “So, my lady… Do we elope to Tenerife?”

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was telling Irene I wished we could do this. Just get married and ignore everything else. And now, Pedri is telling me we should do exactly that. By the looks of it, he actually seems to have it all planned already. 

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes” I repeat. “Let's elope to Tenerife.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“You are crazy. You are fucking crazy.”

“Leonor…”

“No, Sofía! No! Have you lost your mind?”

“Leonor, listen…”

“No!” she says again. “You can't just get married like that! There is a protocol and traditions to be followed! You are a fucking princess!”

“I know, Leonor. But we want to get married and are tired of waiting and postponing everything.”

“And I'm tired of having to attend boring dinners with men who could be my father, yet I do it because it is my job! My duty!”

“Yes, your duty as the heir to the throne. But that's not me, Leonor! Or have you forgotten that once you are queen, I would become even more unimportant than I already am?” I say, also raising my voice. 

“Please don't start with that invisible princess bullshit, Sofía. Playing the victim doesn't fit you anymore.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Girls, I think we need to calm down a bit” Irene says.

“I am calm!” both Leonor and I yell at the same time.

“If you say so…” she says, sinking a bit on the sofa where she is sitting.

“Leonor…” I say, taking a deep breath. “Put yourself in my shoes for just a minute, please.”

“I'm trying, Sofía. I swear I am” she replies. “But this idea of yours… it's crazy. It's fucking crazy! Mum and dad won't like it, and if he doesn't like it, you know what the Constitution says. You would not be part of the succession anymore, Sofía. If something were to happen to me and I still don't have kids, the crown would pass to our unruly cousin. Do you seriously want him to be king?”

“Leonor, you are being dramatic and you know it. Nothing is going to happen to you, and dad isn't going to exclude me from the succession just because I don't want to get married in a cathedral.”

“He sent grandad away, tho” Irene says.

“Yes, but grandad did many things he shouldn't while he was king, and I'm just choosing to marry the man I love in a different way because our relationship isn't the usual one due to who we are.”

“Because you are a princess and he is a footballer?” Leonor says. “Aunt Cristina married a handball player and they followed the protocol and the tradition.”

“And things worked out so well for them… Sorry, Irene.”

“It's ok” she says.

“And you can't compare the fame he had back then with the one Pedri has right now. He is known worldwide, Leonor. He is more famous than all of us together!”

“Oh, so we should throw away our traditions and who we are just because of his fame?”

“Yes! I mean… No! But maybe we should start doing some things differently, it is the 21st century!”

“Sofía, are you calling me old-fashioned?” she laughs.

“What? No! I just… urgh” I say, sitting down and trying really hard to not start crying.

“Leonor…” Pedri says, daring to join the conversation. Because Leonor, Irene and I aren't alone in the room. Him, Fer and Ferran also are with us. They are the people we trust the most and we wanted to tell them about our plan, to have them on our side and help us with everything. And even though they all were kind of surprised when we first shared the news with them, they said they would support us. All but my sister, who just started shouting. “We wanted to do things the way they have been done for centuries, to follow the protocol, the tradition. We truly wanted to. But my career keeps getting in the way, and we are tired of waiting. Sofía and I love each other and just want to get married. Is that so difficult to understand?”

“It isn't, Pedri. It's just…”

“Wait” Ferran says, also joining the conversation. “You aren't rushing things because she is pregnant, are you?”

“What?” everyone says at the same time.

“People used to suddenly get married because having a baby outside marriage was seen as something shameful. And since you are royals, maybe you still do those things? I don't know” he shrugs.

“I'm not pregnant, Ferran” I say. “Like Pedri said, we want to do this because we love each other, want to get married and are tired of waiting. Just that.”

“Ok… I just had to ask” he shrugs again.

“Leonor…” I sigh. “Leonor, please. I know it sounds crazy, that it is a crazy idea… But it is what we want” I say, Pedri reaching for my hand and giving it an encouraging squeeze. “Say that you will help us. That you will support us. I want my sister with me on the most important day of my life so far. I… I can't do this without you.”

“But Sofía, no one has done something like this before. Like… It'll be a scandal!”

“I think people are more than used to our family being involved in scandals” Irene chuckles. 

“And maybe scandal isn't the right word for this situation” I add.

“Ok, fine” Leonor says. “But if your relationship going public already is something that will definitely make people go nuts, imagine if what they get to read is that you are already married after years of dating in secret!”

“Well, you all have always joked about us breaking the Internet the day we make it public, so let's go big or go home” I shrug.

“You… urgh” Leonor groans. “When they named you after grandma they also passed her stubbornness onto you, didn't they? Because I'm not going to change your mind about this.”

“You are not, no. So… am I going to have my big sister with me at my wedding or not?”

“I… Yes” she sighs, finally giving up. “You will have your big sister with you at your wedding. But…” she says, stopping me as I'm about to throw myself at her and hug her. “I still think this is the worst idea ever and that mum and dad are going to kill you both. Maybe all of us too for helping you.”

“They won't, you'll see” I smile. “I love you, Leonor.”

“And I love you too, you crazy woman” she says before hugging me.

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“This house is beautiful, Sofía. And the views? Breathtaking” my grandma says. “No wonder you and Pedri come here so often.”

“You are invited to come whenever you want, grandma” I smile.

“But only if I'm gonna be surrounded by such handsome men” she says, nodding towards Ferran, Fermín and Gavi.

“Grandma!” I gasp.

“It isn't my fault that your future husband has such handsome friends, darling” she shrugs. “And I'm gonna go get some more of those chips you are serving. Where did you say they are from? They are delicious.”

“They are from a local business.”

“As in from a restaurant?”

“More like a food truck.” If you can call Paco's old van like that. 

“Interesting… You'll have to take me one day.”

“Yes, of course” I smile.

“Great” she smiles back. “Now I'm gonna go get those chips. I can see your cousin Pablo and that Fermín boy walking towards them, and they eat for five or six people.”

“They do, yes” I chuckle as I watch her walk towards them.

“Bo!”

“Bloody hell, Pedri!” I yelp when he suddenly shows up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. “You scared me!”

“Sorry” he says, kissing my neck. 

“Was that really necessary?”

“The kiss or scaring you?” he says, now kissing my cheek. 

“What do you think?”

“I think that both were necessary. The kiss because you look stunning, and the scare because you need to relax.”

“I'm relaxed."

“Sofia…” Pedri says, moving me until I'm facing him. “You are not.”

“I am” I say, focusing on my hands resting on his chest.

“Sofía…”

“Ok, fine. I'm a bit nervous.”

“Just a bit, uh?” he says with a teasing smile. “But that's normal. We are about to… get married” he whispers. “I also am a bit nervous.”

“Really? You are mingling with everyone and enjoying the party as if nothing was going on.”

“That's on the outside. But on the inside… on the inside I'm shitting myself. Maybe a bit literally too.”

“Eww, Pedri!”

“Sorry” he shrugs. “But everything is going to work out, you'll see. In an hour, you and I, my lady…” he says, pulling me a bit closer. “You and I are going to be husband and wife, and that's all that matters.”

“Sorry to interrupt, lovebirds” Leonor says when we are about to kiss. “But it's time.”

“Shit. Ok. Umm… Ok” I say, taking a deep breath. 

“An hour, my lady” Pedri says, kissing my hand. “Just an hour.”

“Just an hour” I repeat before following Leonor. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Oh my God, Sofía. You look gorgeous!” Irene says.

“And that dress is so you. Maybe you actually were right and marrying here and not in a cathedral was your thing.”

“Thank you, Leonor” I reply, rolling my eyes but also smiling. “And you too, Irene. Pedri and I could not have done this without your help.”

“You're welcome, cousin” she smiles. 

“Yeah.”

“Leonor, did I just see you wiping away a tear?” I chuckle.

“What? No, no. It was just something in my eye.”

“A tear.”

“I wasn't crying, Sofía.”

“If you say so…” I tease her.

“Yes, I do” she says, sticking out her tongue. “Now, let's make sure that you have everything.”

“Oh, yes!” Irene says. “Something blue?”

“The sapphire on my engagement ring” I say, lifting my hand.

“Something borrowed?”

“Mum's wedding shoes.”

“You know, if she doesn't kill us because of the wedding, she may do it for taking those and not telling her about it” Leonor chuckles.

“When I was a kid she once told me that I could wear them on my wedding day, so” I shrug.

“What is your something new?” Irene continues.

“The lingerie set I'm wearing. And don't make any comment about it.”

“I wasn't going to say anything.”

“Then why did I catch you smirking?” 

“It wasn't a smirk, Sofía. It was just a smile” Irene shrugs.

“Of course it was.”

“A smile of we know Pedri's jaw is gonna be on the floor the moment he sees you taking off your clothes before you jump his bones.”

“Leonor!” I gasp. “Not you!”

“Couldn't help myself, I'm sorry” she laughs. “Anyway, you have something blue, something borrowed, something new, and you are just missing something old, right?”

“Not really. This dress is vintage, it counts as something old.”

“That's not old enough, Sofía. This, on the other hand…” she says, giving me a little box.

“What is this?”

“Open it and you will know” she smiles.

“Leonor!” I gasp even louder than when she made her comment about Pedri and my lingerie. “Are these… are they…”

“The earrings your beloved queen is wearing on that painting you love so much.”

“No way!” Irene says.

“But how… How did you get them? Don't they belong to the Victoria and Albert museum?”

“They do. But I happen to know someone who works there, and he did me a favour.”

“What? Who?” Irene says while inspecting the earrings.

“Max?” I ask my sister.

“Who is… Wait. The guy the paparazzis caught you making out with in London?” Irene says.

“Yes, him. I got the idea of the earrings after Pedri chose the ring and told me about proposing in front of the painting, so I texted Max, we started talking, and when they caught us I had gone to London to meet with him and pick them up.”

“Leonor, I… I… I don't know what to say. This is too much, like…”

“Sofía, you are my little sister. I would do anything for you, and you should know it already just by the fact that I'm here today and have said yes to this crazy idea of yours.”

“Yes, but…”

“Now who is the one crying?” she says with a teasing smile.

“Oh, shut up” I reply, giving her a little push and making her laugh.

“C'mon, let's help you put them on. Fer may text us any moment now telling us that everything is ready.”

“Urgh, Sofía. Now you look even more gorgeous than you already did” Irene says when they are done. “That queen from the painting is nothing next to you.”

“Pedri's jaw may hit the floor earlier than we thought” Leonor smirks.

“Yeah, well” I say, looking at myself in the mirror. I actually do look beautiful. I feel beautiful.

“Just remember to take the earrings off before your wedding night starts. You two are too feisty, and I need to give them back to Max in one piece” Leonor says. 

“We aren't feisty” I say, rolling my eyes.

“Sofía, both Irene and I have heard things we didn't want to hear, so don't try to deny it.”

“Whatever” I reply. “But are you seeing Max again? I thought it had been just a fling.”

“Well…”

“Well what?” Irene asks her. “Leonor, you are blushing!”

“I'm not! I mean… Maybe… Urgh!”

“Oh my God, Leonor. Have you fallen for Max?” I say.

“What? No! But maybe…”

“Maybe?” both Irene and I say. 

“Maybe I am falling for him, ok?” 

“Aww, Leonor” I say before hugging her, Irene doing the same. “I am so happy for you!”

“Same” Irene says. “Can't believe the three of us are in love at the same time!”

“I'm not… wait, what?” Leonor says. “You are in love? With who?”

“I… umm…” Irene says, taking a step back, her cheeks bright red. 

“Did you know about this?” Leonor asks me. 

“I had no idea, no” I reply. “I thought we could tell everything to each other, Irene.”

“And we can, but…”

“But?”

“But how am I supposed to tell you that I'm seeing your boyfriend’s brother?”

“What?” Leonor and I say at the same time.

“Yeah” Irene shrugs.

“How did that happen? And since when has it been happening? And…”

“And that must be him” she says when someone knocks on the door. “I'll tell you everything after the wedding, ok? I promise.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“This is such a lovely party, Pedri” the queen says. “And the idea of having us all here together in Tenerife before the summer ends is perfect.”

“Thank you” he smiles.

“But where is Sofía? Her dad wanted to make a toast in your honour, and I can't find her anywhere.”

“She's upstairs with the girls, I saw them earlier” Pedri's mum says. “I think something happened with her dress, that she spilled something on it.”

“And they still haven't come back? I'm gonna go check on them, maybe something happened.”

“No!” Pedri says, definitely raising his voice too much. “I mean, if they've been gone for a while, they are probably about to come back, right?” 

“I guess, yes. But isn't it weird that it is taking them so long?”

“Oh, you know them. They probably are gossiping about something” Pedri's mum chuckles. “And speaking of gossip… Is there something going on between your brother and Irene?”

“What?” he says.

“I saw them chatting earlier, and the way they were talking and looking at each other… I don't know” she shrugs.

“Well, you can ask him now. He is coming” the queen says, smirking the same way Sofía does when she's plotting something.

“Ladies… brother” Fer smiles. “I hope I'm not interrupting anything.”

“Oh, no, don't worry. Just your mother wondering if you are dating Irene” the queen says, still smirking.

“What?” he laughs. “Me and Irene? That's… I mean…”

“That's true. Look at your face” Pedri says. “I can't believe neither you or Irene have told Sofía and I anything.”

“We… I… Umm…” he mumbles. “Oh, that must be your last guest” Fer says when someone rings the doorbell. 

“Last guest? What last guest?” their mum asks.

“One who just saved my dear brother from doing some explaining” Pedri says. 

“Umm… boys?” their dad says, joining the conversation. “Why has Don Alberto just arrived?”

“Don Alberto? Who is that?” the queen asks.

“A priest who is friends with the family.”

“A what?” she says, looking at everyone with a confused look.

“I think it's time, Pedri” Fer says.

“I think it is, yes” he sighs. 

“Is anyone going to tell me what is going on here or…?” the queen asks.

“If I may get your attention, please” Pedri says, raising his voice so everyone at the party can hear him while moving to a spot in the room from where they all can also see him. “Thank you” he smiles once everyone has gathered around him. “As you know, Sofía and I invited you to come here today because we wanted to be in our favourite place in the world with the people we love the most and celebrate the love we have for all of you. But we also want to celebrate our love, the one she and I have for each other. Because after being engaged for a year… we've decided it's time we take the next step and seal our love in front of those we love the most. Welcome to our wedding” Pedri smiles as murmurs start rising around the room, everyone looking at each other with a mix of confused and surprised looks. “I know you all are probably thinking this is a crazy idea” he continues. “Some of you may even be disappointed at us because this is not how we should be doing things, that there is a protocol and traditions to be followed. But this is what Sofía and I want. This, with you all and in this house, is how we want to get married. Not at a cathedral surrounded by people we don't know. And we want to do it now. Today.”

“Pedri, this… this…” the queen mumbles, the king standing next to her looking extremely confused.

“This is perfect!” Sofía's grandma says. “Oh, I love it! I love love love it!”

“Mother, this is not right” the king says, finally reacting. “They can't marry here.”

“Why not?”

“Because this is their house!”

“And?”

“And they can't get married in their house!”

“Can't they?” she asks, looking at the priest.

“They can, your majesty” he says.

“But… but Sofía is a princess! And we haven't made the engagement public yet! What will people think? What will other royal families think?”

“They'll probably be jealous of them because they've gotten to have a normal wedding instead of all the pomp and circumstance they have to suffer and deal with on theirs.”

“But…”

“Nothing” she says. “Your daughter has decided to get married here today, and we have to support her decision. Their decision” she says, smiling at Pedri.

“Thank you” he replies.

“So, what do we have to do now? Do we have to go somewhere?”

“We… Umm… Fer?” Pedri asks his brother.

“Oh, yes” he says, moving to stand next to him. “Sofía is upstairs getting ready, so while she finishes with that, I need someone to help me and Ferran carry all the flowers and take them outside to the garden. Boys?” he says, looking first at Pedri's teammates and then at Sofía's cousins, who all nod in agreement. “Great” Fer smiles. “We also need someone to help us arrange them properly and make them look nice, so maybe… grandma?”

“Why me? Is it because I'm the one who has been to the most weddings due to my age and I've seen it all?” she says, arching an eyebrow.

“We thought you could do it because you have the best taste. I mean, look at the gardens at your house” Pedri says with his best smile.

“Oh, you cheeky little thing” she laughs. “I can't say no to you. I'll do it.”

“Thank you, ma'am” Fer says. “Dad, we'll need you helping Don Alberto with everything he may need, and mum, I need you helping Pedri get dressed. You know how much he struggles with his ties.”

“And us?” the queen asks.

“We thought that maybe you would like to check on Sofía” Pedri says. “She wants you to walk her down the aisle” he says, looking at the king.

“Me? Dressed like this?”

“Oh, you look perfect” his mother says. “Now go congratulate your daughter, and don't yell at her. Or at Leonor.”

“But…”

“Chop chop, everyone!” she says, clapping her hands. “We have a wedding to organise!”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Mum? Dad?” I say when Irene opens the door. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, Sofía” my dad says. “You look… you…”

“Breathtaking” my mum says, running towards me and hugging me.

“Oh” I say. That's the only thing that comes from my mouth while she hugs me and… cries? Is she crying? What?

“Look at you” she says, moving to cup my face. “You look so beautiful, Sofía.”

“Thank you, mum. But what are you doing here?”

“Pedri told us to come see you” my dad says.

“He did?” We had not agreed on that.

“I think I'm going back downstairs to see if Fer needs my help” Irene says. “Leonor?”

“I…”

“Go” my mum says. “You and I will talk later.”

“Ok” she says before following Irene.

“I'm sorry” I say once they are gone. “I'm sorry about lying to you all and about not following the rules. About disappointing you. But we were tired of waiting and just wanted to get married. Not because I'm pregnant or anything like that. It's just…”

“You love each other and want to be together. Properly and officially” my mum says.

“Well, properly, properly…” my dad says.

“You know what I mean” my mum replies.

“Then you aren't mad at me? At us? I know this isn't what you wanted.”

“Sofía” my mum says, taking my hands on hers. “All we want is for you to be happy. I mean, yes. We may be a bit shocked.”

“A bit, she says” my dad chuckles.

“Yes, a bit” my mum says. “But not angry or disappointed. If this is what you want and what makes you happy, then we will support you. Like I said when Pedri asked your dad for your hand, we are in the 21st century. There are some things we can and should change. And since you aren't the heir and Pedri is who he is… maybe this is for the best. Maybe doing things privately is what works the best for you two.”

“Thank you, mum” I say, trying really hard to not cry and ruin my makeup.

“You must have to promise us something, tho” she says.

"Ok" I nod.

“You will allow us to throw some kind of reception to introduce you and Pedri officially. One where we'll get to invite all the people who should have been at your wedding if you had done things following the traditional way.”

“Though first we'll have to make it official that they have gotten married. Preferably before the season starts and we find ourselves with the same problem again” my dad says. “If we wait for the next summer, we may be announcing a relationship, a wedding, and a baby.”

“Oh, no, no. It is too soon for babies ” I quickly say. “But yes. We will do that reception, and we will announce that we've gotten married. Maybe when Barça comes back from the pre-season?”

“That could work, yes.”

“Ok. Then… All good?” I ask them.

“All good” my mum smiles. 

“Even if I I'm wearing your wedding shoes as my something borrowed?”

“You what?”

“You once told me that I could wear them, so...” I shrug.

“I… Ok, fine. But you better take good care of them.”

“I will, I promise.”

“Good” she smiles.  

“Urgh, my little girl is getting married!” my dad says.

“And you are walking me down the aisle, aren't you?” I ask him.

“It'll be my honour” he smiles. “But wait. Are those… Are those the earrings from…”

“Yep.”

“Weren't they at the Victoria and Albert museum in London?”

“They were. And they still belong to them.”

“Then how…”

“I'll tell you later. Now can I please get one of those hugs you give me when I'm feeling nervous? I could really use it right now.”

“Come here” my dad chuckles.

“We love you, Sofía” my mum says, joining our hug. “We love you very much.”

“I love you too” I reply, hugging them a bit tighter.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

“My lady” Pedri smirks, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning me back before kissing me, everyone cheering for us. 

“Here is to the bride and groom! Princess Sofía and Prince Pedro!” Fermín says.

“You were looking forward to saying that weren't you?” I laugh.

“Since the day you two met” he smiles. “Something that would have not happened without me since I was the one who got the idea of going to talk to you and save you from your misery, so here is to me!”

“To Fermín!” everyone laughs while he bows in front of us as if he was the star of a musical or something like that.

“Now that you've had your moment of glory, can we please focus back on the people we are celebrating today?” my grandma says, making Fermín’s face turn bright red. 

“Sorry” he says.

“She's just teasing you, bro” Pedri chuckles. 

“No, I'm not.”

“Grandma…” I say.

“Fine, yes, I am. You actually are my favourite of all of Pedri's friends” she says, squeezing Fermín's face like only grandmothers can do, making him blush even more. 

“I thought I was your favourite” Ferran says.

“It's a different type of favourite” she winks.

“Ok, time to take some photos” I quickly say when I notice her checking out Ferran. “Carlos, are you ready?”

“Yes, ma'am” he smiles. He had kind of become our own personal photographer since our engagement, and surprisingly, he had been on board with our idea of celebrating our wedding like this since the moment we told him. We just couldn't organise everything and keep my bodyguard out of the loop, he is too clever. 

“Have I told you yet that you are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen?” Pedri whispers while everyone tries to decide who will be posing with us first. 

“A few times, yes. Or have you forgotten how Don Alberto had to scold us during the ceremony because you kept whispering it among other things and making me giggle?”

“Yeah…” he smiles. “But I just couldn't help myself. I can't help myself, my lady. You look gorgeous.”

“Well, you must. And same goes to your hand” I say, when I feel it moving down on my back. “It is too soon for that.”

“Maybe we can sneak out later while they all are busy eating and drinking.”

“We can't…”

“C'mon, Sofía.”

“No.”

“C'mon… Afterwards you always are the one who says we should do it more often.”

“That's not true.”

“It is and you know it” he whispers before kissing that spot on my neck.

“Pedri…”

“Yes, my lady?” he smirks. 

“I… I…”

“You… you..."

“Guys, can you please make up your mind with the photos? I really need to use the bathroom” I blurt out, everyone looking my way.

“Use the bathroom for what, my lady?” Pedri whispers in my ear while my parents finally decide they will go first.

“For putting this thing between your legs” I say, quickly moving in front of him to touch him without anyone noticing, making him grunt. “And those lips of yours that were made to kiss and be kissed, to good use.”

“Bloody hell, Sofía” he whispers. 

“It sucks to be turned on in front of everyone, doesn't it?” I smirk. “Welcome to the club.”

“All good, guys?” my mum says.

“All good” I say as I turn around and give her my best smile. If only she knew…

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“We did it, my lady” Pedri says while we watch all our friends and family mingling in the garden, the sun setting behind them.

“Getting married or our little bathroom rendezvous?” 

“Both” he chuckles. “Can't believe we finally are husband and wife.”

“Me neither” I smile. “Though now that we are married, you can start calling me wife instead of my lady.”

“Oh, no. No, no, no. My lady has been my nickname for you since the day we met, and it will stay like that until we are really really old, your hair has gone silver, I am finally bald, and we are surrounded by all our grand and great children. Some great great children too.”

“You and your obsession with going bald” I laugh. “But do I seriously have to deal with you for that long?” I tease him.

“And longer, my lady. That's what this ring means” Pedri says, lifting his hand. 

“I thought we promised that until death do us part.”

“Only an idiot would stop loving you after death, Sofía” he says, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer towards him. “And I am not an idiot even if you sometimes call me that.”

“I'm not being serious when I say it. At least not always.”

“And when you tell me that you love me?” he says, moving until his nose is brushing against mine. “Are you always serious when you say that?”

“Always. I was serious the first time I said it, all the times that came after, and will keep being serious every time I say it in the future. Like right now. I love you, Pedri.”

“I love you too, Sofía” he says before kissing me, everyone clapping and whistling when they notice, someone (Fermín, probably) shouting “get a room”. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Sofía! Sofía, over here!”

“Sofía, can we take a photo?”

“Sofía!”

That, and some other not so nice comments, are what I have had to listen to every time I go to the Camp Nou to watch Pedri play. Sometimes even on the street when I leave the office or I'm out and about and someone recognises me, Carlos having to go full on bodyguard. Because, as expected, the official announcement of us being married had broken the internet, our faces being not only wherever you looked on social media and magazines, but also opening the news all over the world.

The first few days had been a complete chaos, paparazzis spending the night outside any place where we could be seen and following anyone related to us. At one point it had gotten so bad, that Barça's security had had to intervene because Pedri's teammates were being harassed by the press, and the palace had had to release an official statement asking people to be respectful and to basically let us breathe. 

But once the season started and the initial shock of Pedri now being part of the royal family and of seeing me on the stands supporting him passed, things have been a bit more normal. Having people shouting my name as if I was some superstar like Taylor Swift still feels weird, but I know I can deal with it. I know both Pedri and I can deal with it.

“You know, I liked it better when you were the invisible princess” Irene says when we finally make it to our seats at the Camp Nou.

“Sure” I chuckle.

“I'm serious. Watching the game was easier when we didn't have people constantly looking our way and taking photos of us. Do you know how hard it is to stay focused on not doing anything that could look like I'm picking my nose?”

“Irene, you spend most part of the game looking at your phone or kissing Fer” I chuckle. 

Oh, yes. Because those two were a thing now. Officially. Which made the press write some not very nice articles about Pedri and his brother, calling them gold-diggers and similar things. As if Pedri didn't own a fortune on his own, you know?

“That's not true. If they score I celebrate with everyone else” Irene says.

“Last week you celebrated a goal by the other team, tho” Fer says with a teasing smile.

“Oh, shush!” she says, hitting his arm and making him laugh. “But Sofía… Don't you miss being as anonymous as you used to be?”

“Sometimes. But I was calling myself the invisible princess not because of the attention I was getting from the press. I mean, maybe a little, not gonna lie” I chuckle. “It was more about… you know. The people around me. And I stopped feeling like that when I met Pedri. When he made me see that I wasn't invisible, that I mattered and that people did care about me.”

“Something that we always told you. Though I guess it is not the same hearing your sister and your cousins telling you about it, than when a hot Canarian boy does it, uh?”

“I don't know, you tell me” I chuckle, nodding towards Fer.

“Yeah” she smiles. “Does this mean that the invisible princess is dead?” 

“Part of me will always be the invisible princess. Now she's just grown. Evolved.”

“Like a Pokémon?” Fer says.

“Something like that, yes” I laugh.

“Then what should we call you now? Mrs. González?” Irene asks me with a teasing smile.

“Idiot” I say, giving her a little push. “But Sofía is fine” I smile as I watch the players jump onto the pitch, Pedri turning our way and doing a little curtsey, his way of telling me he is thinking of me. Of that girl he always saw when not even I could see myself. 

Sofía.

[superbattrash]

Do you have any Superbat fic recs? Just kind of stumbled on the ship and am already excited by the notion.

Hiiiii sweetheart! Welcome to the bright and sunny side of superbat shipping ~ *blows dust off my laptop that I haven’t turned on in a month* oh gross, there are actual spiderwebs on it... I'm so sorry, Maggie. Ahem, first of all. Any and all fics by these talented people: @frownyalfred, @superbatdisasterblog, @susiecarter, @sassyresacon1990 (I know I'm forgetting a lot of people but it's been a while okay)

This is just handful of my ultimate favs, if you need more I'm always more than happy to go through my bookmarks!

tell all the truth (but tell it slant) by susiecarter (rated M)

It takes a while for Batman and Superman to work things out, once Clark comes back from the dead. Pretending to date each other in order to explain why Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent are in the same place so often? Doesn't help as much as you might think.

Condersing Conditions by LeCadavre_1904 (rated E)

Before Bruce and Clark fall into bed for the first time, Bruce has an unusual condition.

Clark is as obliging as always.

don't push me (cause I am close to the edge) by LinguisticJubilee (rated G)

Kara huffs out a breath in frustration. “Every Kryptonian has a heartsong. And they’re beautiful, but when you listen to one on its own it feels like something is missing. It’s like...they have something like this too, right?” She gestures outward impatiently, and Bruce forces himself not to flinch at her casual use of they. “Only they have words written down instead.” 

“Soulmates,” Clark says, his voice strained. 

The word hits Bruce like a bullet through the lung. He keeps his face perfectly relaxed, his heartbeat calm and regular, as he realizes (too late, he's always too late) that he should have expected this all along.

fallin' for him was like fallin' from grace by Resacon1990 (rated T)

“But Bruce isn’t gay?” Clark points out, and there’s an awkward moment of everyone clearing their throats and avoiding Clark’s eyes until he turns to stare at Bruce. “Are you?”

Bruce blinks for a moment before offering a sheepish smile. “I’m not… not?” he offers, and Clark feels his brain just about short-circuit at the news.

Or, five times Clark finds himself falling for Bruce, and the one time he does something about it

No Church in the Wild by TheResurrectionist (not rated but OUCH ANGST)

"I'll have a contingency plan."

"If you're the first face he sees, you'll need it."

Bruce brings Clark back by himself.

smokin' in the boys' room - by The Ressurectionist (not rated but both blood and dicks, so rated Misha HAPPY) (I cannot tell you how many times I've reread this one GUUUHHH)

Bruce Wayne -- billionaire playboy, owner of, at most, three brain cells -- beaten up at his own charity gala. Bruce Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises out of nepotism and dumb luck, whose business wasn’t touched by corruption purely because of incompetence -- Bruce Wayne, airheaded and still generous, still kind, bloody in a stall and trying to hide it. 

His hand clenched on the stall door, crumpling it between his fingers. His eyes weren’t burning yet, but barely. 

“Who did this to you?”

I Would I Might Forget That I Am I by susiecarter (rated T)

Clark Kent woke up, ate breakfast, went to work—the same way he did every day. Ordinary.

Except for the part where Superman hadn't been seen in at least a week and nobody knew why, Lois was acting kind of weird, and Bruce Wayne was insisting that Clark was the only reporter he'd allow to run a feature on the crashed alien ship in the park, since Wayne Enterprises had been granted control of the site. And the way Clark felt every time Wayne looked at him a little too long definitely wasn't helping.

But it was fine. Clark was normal, there was nothing wrong with him, and everything was fine.

Satisfaction Brought It Back by slippin_into_dakrness and SpiritsFlame. (rated G) (This one is my comfort comfort comfort read!!!)

Bruce always thought that Superman's cute shtick of rescuing cats from trees was a bid for publicity—until a confrontation with a magic user leaves him stuck as a cat. He learns how mistaken he was when Superman not only rescues him, but takes him back to a small Metropolis apartment. The opportunity to learn more about the alien can't be ignored, but is Bruce ready for everything he will learn about someone he has only ever regarded with distrust and dislike?

[xoxoemynn]

Fan Fic Friday!

I'm finally getting in the headspace to be able to read and enjoy fic and oh boy have I been enjoying it! Sharing a few that I've enjoyed reading this past week. For simplicity's sake I'm focusing just on completed works.

People Are Just People (Like You) by @trans-top-stede and @nonplayer-character (plus art!!) Holy shit. Holy shit. This story is stunning. This 24K fic (that also includes some wonderful art) shows Ed struggling to re-enter the world after the COVID lockdowns, all while drawing solace listening to a radio show for aliens. (Hmmm, wonder who could be hosting that?) There is pure, raw emotion baked into each and every word. The loneliness, the feeling of knowing it SHOULD be so easy to just do what you once did so easily but now it's HARD, the desperation, the hope, all while Ed just keeps trying. By the end I was weeping and just feeling in awe of all the little ways humans are simply there for each other, time and time again. I found this work deeply relatable, and I'm sure many others on here will as well. It's an absolute masterpiece and I can't stop thinking about it.

Red Skies at Night by @soupbtch Oh, this is a FUN one, even if I was literally screaming at my laptop for chapter upon chapter because OH MY GOD I KNOW I SAID I LOVE A SLOW BURN BUT WHY MUST THEY BURN SO SLOWLY WHY CAN'T THEY JUST KISS?!?!?! Anyway. Stede's a perfectly bitchy cruise critic, Ed's performing on said cruise ship, sparks fly. This 64K fic is the perfect blend of humor and tension and heartache and of course, a lot of romance. And some great sex. Danny did such a great job using beats from both S1 and S2 to tell a really beautiful story that had me grinning ear to ear nearly the entire time. (Again, nearly, because I also did a lot of screaming.) Absolutely fantastic.

True to Life by @ipomoea-batatas This summary ("Ed and Stede accidentally open an inn for ghosts") had me sold immediately. It's fluffy domestic fic. And a ghost. But not like a ghost that's going to be terrifying and murder you in your sleep, so don't worry if that's not your jam. Just a ghost with a backstory. This fic 28K is SO much fun, filled with impeccable banter that feels like Taika and Rhys just got set loose and were allowed to do whatever they wanted. A bit of a mystery, a bit of cozy domesticity, a lot of fun. Highly recommend.

Flotsam and Jetsam by @/anathxmadevice Looking for a quick read? This one's a little over 5K and is so absurdly lovely. Don't be fooled by the short word count; there are some Big Feels in this fic. Stede's a beachcomber, and Ed runs a pub, and naturally Ed is immediately charmed by Stede's excitement at finding some funky shells. I don't want to give away the ending, but suffice to say it basically left me the human embodiment of this emoji: 🥹. Just a beautiful little bite-sized fic. And there's also a podfic!

Pete & Prejudice by @shieldmaidenofmithrilhall Okay, here's something a little different! All of the above are Ed x Stede, but here's an absolutely charming 14K story about Lucius and Pete! (Although there are some truly adorable Ed x Stede moments in it as well.) Pete and Lucius are dating and everything is amazing, except once a year Pete disappears for "a thing," and now Lucius is determined to find out what it is. I can't say much more without spoiling it, but I will say I started smiling in the very first paragraph and by the time I was done my grin had basically reached my eyebrows. Absolutely perfect characterization, so sweet, so romantic, and some moments that literally made me laugh out loud. Be prepared to fall even more deeply in love with Pete.

[youling-the-ghost]

More sfth incorrect quotes! ft. hopefully better formatting (the link I used to generate these)

*obligatory "none of the shipping quotes are me actually shipping them"

Tom: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant. Luke, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you. AJ, who broke into his house an hour ago: Two sugars please. Luke: Coming right up. Luke: Tom, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery. Tom: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!

Tom: CHARACTER. FLAWS. ARE. FUCKING. IMPORTANT. Luke: Me when someone tells me to stop eating mayo packets like they’re gogurt tubes. Sam, making a cup of tea: Yeah, get into that leaf juice, you sexy, sexy bee sauce. Tom: Hey, do you take constructive criticism? Sam: I absolutely fucking do not. Tom: I never understood why people cared so much about their dumb friends until I got a dumb friend myself. Tom: *Picks up AJ* Tom: I’ve only befriended AJ for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then my self. AJ: Everyone has a toxic trait. Except Tom, he's perfect. Tom: Wrong! My toxic trait is how badly I want to domesticate a raccoon. Luke: Ew. What kind of tea is this? AJ: I boiled gatorade. AJ: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people. Sam: Do you want this handful of moss? Tom: Why would I want a handful of fucking moss? Sam: Damn, you could’ve just said no. Tom: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. AJ, Sam, & Luke: Okay. Tom: If you don't want to die, give me all your money. AJ: Bold of you to assume I have money. Sam: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die. Luke: Bold of you to assume I can die. Luke: Two brooooos! Sam: Chillin' in a hot tub! Luke: Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay! Sam: Luke: Sam: *tearing up* Luke: Babe, c'mon… Sam: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING. Luke: Babe… Luke: Wow, they really hate us. Sam: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic. Luke: But we’re not gay, Sam. Sam: Luke: Sam: We’re not? Sam: What’s it like being tall? Luke: Is it nice? AJ: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? Tom: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want. Luke: I think we should have glow stick juice injected in our bones when we're born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise. AJ: What's the surprise? Tom: Blood poisoning. Tom: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand. AJ: I photosynthesize with this. Luke: What is it called when you kill a friend? Tom: Homicide. Sam: Murder. AJ: Homiecide. Tom: What do we say when making bread? AJ, glumly: That's the dough rising. Tom: And what do we NOT say? Sam, sadly: That's the yeast fucking. Sam: What if people had food names and food had people names? Luke: Hey, spaghetti, we’re having Sam for dinner. Tom: What is wrong with you people? AJ: Shut up, chocolate. Sam: Time freezes for everyone but you one day. What do you do? Luke: Oh… I’d mildly trouble everyone. Sam: Alright, so what would you do? Luke: I’d shave a one-inch thick line in every thick beard I saw. Luke: I’d twist all the lightbulbs just a little bit so no one would know when they aren’t working. Luke: I’d make every wing on girls eyeliner just a little bit higher than the other one. Luke: And I’d tie everyone’s shoelaces together. Luke: And then lastly, I’d snip a little hole in every tea bag. Sam: Sam: Remind me to never allow you to have power.

[gffa]

saw someone say "dickbabs is bad cuz they're written as a stereotype of smart nerd/dumb jock which is a disservice to their characters" and its so weird cuz i cant think of any comics where they're written that way?? like the best comics of them are the ones where they're working on cases together combining both of their strengths and resources to solve crime and theres plenty of those.

also i've noticed so many dickbabs antis have a problem with barbara's intelligence in general which is odd to me. esp when dick himself is never intimidated nor threatoned by it and its sad. its like ppl claim to like girlboss/malewife couples but then when there's actually a couple that displays that dynamic in a way that matters and isnt just based on appearance or physical traits its too much and they back out!

I just wish certain Dickbabs antis would stop putting their "why this other pairing is so much better than DickBabs" stuff in the #dickbabs tag, like you are not helping me think better of your competing ship with that kind of behavior, it just comes off as so desperate to be mad that other people like something you wish they wouldn't like. Otherwise, I don't really wander into spaces that aren't into the things I'm into, because I'd much rather spend my time yelling about why I DO love the thing I love, so in that vein, LET ME TELL YOU WHY I LOVE DICKBABS SO MUCH. (To be clear, it's perfectly fine not to like the ship or like it in a different way, we'll still get along fine! It's not the sum total of EITHER character's role in the comics, there's plenty to talk about them without getting into this relationship! I'm just not here for those who need to go out of their way to shove it in my face that they don't like the ship, but disliking it and staying in your lane--as many, many lovely people do! the majority I would even say!--is of course fine.) (To further clarify, I don't know the context of the original post mentioned here, it's not part of anything I'm speaking of, this is purely about trying to shove it in others' faces, not about how other people interpret ships differently from me while staying in their own lanes. So I'm probably not speaking about the original post whatsoever here!) For me, I think the heart of their bigger relationship is built on their mutual support for each other, that they each have established themselves individually and have their own books and their own time in the spotlight, but they keep gravitating towards each other because they're better and stronger and more fun together. That each of them gladly takes their turn being the support for the other, because that's what relationships do! And they do it with such love, like-- I love them because they've known each other so long that they really get each other, they get that the other isn't perfect, and they've made the choice to be with that person even when their issues have thorns. Like, I loved everything about their conversation in Nightwing #96:

That is exactly what he needed to hear--she wasn't being cruel or dismissive of his issues, she wasn't even really being mean about the issues he picked up from Bruce, because she's right, Bruce does have some really shit traits that he passed on to his eldest. She's not saying that either he or Bruce are bad for it, she's just accepting that it's part of the man she loves and she'll cut through it with him because he's worth any effort it would take to be with him. I love that she laughs right in his face about breaking up, because that's not cruel or dismissive either, it's just Dick being ridiculous and sometimes it's part of his charm and they've always teased each other--the thing is, it's also always followed up with warmth and care, she asks him point blank, are you happy with me? Because you are allowed to be happy. I'm allowed to be happy and I'm happy with you, you're worth dying for, let's do this together. Or I love their earlier dynamic in the Batgirl comic as well, just after Bruce and Selina's failed marriage (this is before they got back together, like in the above):

I love SO MUCH that Babs isn't sure that she necessarily wants a marriage any time soon, she doesn't trust yet that it could last, but what she does want is someone who would be there if she needed them, that at this point in time she feels like moments are all any of them are allowed to have, so what she wants is someone who will always answer when she calls. At this point, she's afraid to commit because she doesn't feel like they get that kind of thing, she's afraid of her own feelings, that really gets hammered in during the Death Knight storyline where they're fighting against the end of the world, the collapsing of the multiverse, and Bruce is tired of their bickering, so he tells them to just "skip to the end", which is basically, Dick wants to symbolically marry her, but she's afraid because she doesn't want her feelings for him to get in her way, she's terrified of losing him again:

But he's there for her, he says that it's just for tonight, he can put it aside when they need to, and later he'll win her back. This is who Dick and Babs are to me--they dance around each other because their feelings are so intense and sometimes it feels like they're on different pages (Dick's a romantic who wants to get married someday and knows it, she isn't sure she wants marriage but something less defined), but then you dig into it a bit and realize they are on the same page, it's just that their costumed lives, the traumas they've both lived through, make them scared of that level of intensity. And that's why Babs being the one to say, once they're together, no, we're happy together, we're allowed to be happy together, is so important. It's why she refuses to not come along with when Dick is going to the founding of the Alfred Pennyworth Foundation and doesn't take his shit about trying to keep her safe in Nightwing #88.

Because they take turns supporting each other, they take turns being the one to say I love you so much that I would fight the world for you, that they make each other stronger and shore each other up. Even before they got back together, they supported each other and were always there to listen, to joke around to lighten the mood, to just be a friendly ear without expectations of anything else:

Plus, they are adorable when they're flirting:

DICK'S IDEA OF A HOT DATE IS A NIGHT ON THE SOFA IN SWEATPANTS, EATING POPCORN, AND WATCHING THEIR FAVORITE SHOW. HE UNDERSTANDS HER, OKAY.

Ultimately, I love them because sometimes she goes to him. Sometimes he goes to her. Sometimes she cuts through his bullshit with love. Sometimes he cuts through her bullshit with love. They're always there for each other, even when they're not together. They have a blast flirting with each other. They're both aware of the other being a hot mess sometimes, but they know that's part of the person they love and deal with it. They're partners.

[watchingblsnowandforever]

Hello again! =D

Here's Part 1

*looks at all the remaining screenshots and sighs* I really need to learn to take screenshots more selectively-

Warning: long post 😊😅

This is the sole reason Phum chose to ride the cycle, because we all know he brought his car.

I'm not complaining though. In fact-

Peem, give this man all the hugs in this world. He deserves them. <3

HANDS!!

Aunt Pui Live Reaction

She ships them hehe

She's the best wingaunt 😭🫶🏼

Oh, it's his turn with the braincell finally hehe

Oh, that little kernel of insecurity making him question this :(

And it's Phum's turn to immediately refute any doubt about his feelings.

Oh yeah, telling him all the reasons you like him is the only reason you'll "have" to stay over at his place, Phum. It's not like you wanna cuddle him or anything. Pfft of course not.

Peem's reaction is so cute (no pun intended-) oh gods 😭

This is what told me for sure that Phum knows about Peem's feelings.

The way he framed this, the absolute lack of hesitation in his voice, the way he smiled, the way he looked at Peem.

Just because he doesn't confront Peem about it doesn't mean he doesn't know his feelings are reciprocated.

No wonder Peem's reaction looks so genuine 😭 (Pond improvised this part)

What do you do when the guy you like keeps shrugging off your hand? Keep trying of course! And then lock your hands so he can't shrug them off.

Mission Side-Hug Your Crush: Accomplished 😌✅️

Me:

Wait- WAIT, you're gonna leave the cycle right there in the middle of the driveway?! WHY 🥲😭

👀

Yep, same pic.

The moment I saw this I was like where have I seen this before- OH yeah.

See, now Fang isn't hesitating to call him out on it. Now he knows for sure Phum likes Peem, and it's okay to talk to him about it. But he still doesn't prod much, and only takes what Phum tells him.

In conclusion: Fang is a good brother. 😌

Others: Byee! Have a great time!

Chain: I'll play the guitar for you.

Let's be honest, who's the enabler here? Pun might come up with the strangest most complicated plans, but who's the first to go along with it?

ASKFDGHYTRUASKJNCHDFJ

WHAT WAS THIS KISS?!!!! AND WHY WAS IT TAILOR-MADE TO MAKE ME GO CRAZY?!!!!!

WINNYSTANG. I liked you before but to be very frank, I was kinda indifferent, but now you have my full attention. Make me go even more crazy.

Ooh they have a third brother??

See, up till this point, I was willing to ignore their parents (not what they did, but them as people, because they do not deserve any attention) but this? Stopping Fang from going to check on his brother? NUH UH. That's a line you don't cross.

So now, I'm handing Peem and Tan their weapon(s) of choice and letting them have a go at it. The bodies? Oh, don't worry about that, we'll handle those. :)

What I really love about this scene is that Peem hugs first, then asks questions.

Ah I love hugs so much 🥹🫶🏼

No. They can't.

And similarly, our parents can't always be right. They might always want what's the best for us, but that doesn't mean that what they do is always the best for us.

Also- I'm completely normal about the fact that Phum and Fang went to Peem and Tan - their respective safe zones. Very normal. 🥺

AND THOSE 'I LOVE YOU'S BY TANFANG OH MY GODS I-

I could write a whole essay about just these few minutes (of that PhumPeem hug and this TanFang moment) but I don't have that much time or energy 😭

I'll just go sob in the corner because this entire ep was made to attack my heart with fluff but this scene just broke me.

Also- we finally get actual wind-ruffled hair in BL hehe

Isn't he already Golden Retriever enough? 😭

[Also, at this point my anxiety spiked because I had 7 more screenshots, but I'd already done 25, so tumblr would allow only 5 more 😶😭]

Yes.

Peem finally getting his confidence and sass back! Hehe

That peck had me blinking and then smiling so wide and rewatching those few seconds at least four times.

He says no, and yet his face is tilted and eyes closed and he's all ready to be kissed so sweetly.

You betray yourself, Peem *smh*

HANDS!!!!

The day I stop screaming about hands is my last day on Earth.

This broke my heart, but this hug and Peem's reply put it back together. <33

He-

He said it. While he was awake. 😶

Listen, that nose boop and him telling Phum he'd done a good job the first time changed my brain chemistry so much I collected all the stray strands of my nonexistant giffing skills and made a gif just to put it as my header (replacing that scene from Cherry Magic that I've probably watched a million times now, and had changed me viscerally).

AND THEN THEY GIVE ME THIS.

They're playing table tennis with my heart 🥲

Anyways. Love this scene. So much.

BONUS: I couldn't upload the screenshot of this, but that horse riding scene is so funny to me, because Phuwin is the one who can ride, and Pond's the one a little scared (a little like that roller coaster scene except reversed hehe).

Also "I feel like a prince, riding my horse led by my servant." uh huh. no reference here. just a random line in a random series where the main leads acted in a series previously where one of them was a khun chai and the other worked for him. no reference at all.

Finally!

That's it for ep 12, see y'all next week!

If you got this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊

Here, have some pancakes 🥞

All my previous We Are posts.

@inonetoomanyfandoms here's part 2 hehe

[phoenix-eclipses]

Casting Love 0.13 -- Kenma's Awesome Roommate

Your trip to the cafe had been short. Makki and Mattsun had asked for you to come talk to them, joking you had been showing clear favoritism for the only member of your group who hadn't gone to Seijoh, but you only rolled your eyes and came to say hi to the two of them.

Even if you hadn't been planning to meet with Kenma, Makki had a class in twenty minutes so you all chatted while ordering your treats and waiting to receive them. It didn't take long before Makki separated from you two and Mattsun took it upon himself to walk with you to Kenma's building.

"Dang, I thought we'd be going to the one dorm building near here, not this place!"

"I thought the same thing when he said he was close to the cafe! Maybe his parents are rich, or something."

"Maybe you should try and date him, get that money." he nudged against you teasingly.

"Why bother when I got Tooru and Haji?" you laughed back.

"Fair point. Oikawa would spoil you to all hell." you both entered the lobby. "Do you want me to come up to you to the room... if I'm even allowed to?"

You stayed silent for a moment, remembering the system Kenma had explained to you. However, a part of you felt like it was a bit sketchy and would prefer to keep people knowing about it. As close as you were with Mattsun, he did frequently accidentally let secrets out.

"Nah, I don't think they would. Last time I was here he talked to them so they'd know I was with him. Doubt they'd let you in without him down here, thank you though."

"No problem, just don't drop the bag or your drinks." Mattsun waved to you before walking out of the lobby, probably to return to his own dorm. You let out a sigh before heading to the lady that sat at the desk.

"Excuse me?"

Despite you speaking, she didn't bother to even look up at you, she just let out a small hum to show she had heard you.

"I'm here to visit Kozume Kenma. He's on the 7th floor." as you spoke, you began to wonder if Kenma had even be telling the truth. In a building like this, surely they'd have higher security. But before you could even think to call Kenma to prove you were here for him, she scribbled something down and placed a card on the desk in front of you.

"That'll get you into the elevator." she still didn't even look at you, returning to her work. You took the card, still skeptical this could be some sort of joke, and walked to the elevator, swiping it just as Kenma did. Immediately, the light above the elevator went off, showing that it was coming down to the lobby.

It didn't take long for you to get up to the seventh floor and arrive to Kenma's door. You knocked on the door despite having the card and Kenma opened it for you.

"Hey," he greeted, stepping away from the door and letting you close and lock it behind yourself.

"Hi! Here's your drink and apple pie," you place both onto the counter in the kitchen. He lets out a hum, grabbing out his laptop and placing it beside them. "So, looking at this list, I think we should figure out where we can easily buy the majority of these from, to try and avoid paying for shipping from several places and to get them all near the same time."

"Easiest would probably be Amazon then."

You nod your head, pulling out your own laptop and opening up the notes you guys had made and the Amazon website. Kenma didn't bother opening his, simply sliding his chair closer to yours as you began looking for all of your items.

You two spent nearly an hour picking out the items. In some cases, you both decided it'd be better to create items out of clay instead of buying something else due to the price or for lack of items that appeared as you both wanted them. By the time you guys had everything there, you went to the cart and forced yourself not to show your severe problem with the cost it had totalled to.

"Okay, how do you want me to send you my half?"

You sat for a moment, thinking about the best way. You didn't have any apps that were frequently used for monetary sharing for obvious reasons, though you did know Oikawa's information for most, but that would no doubt raise some questions for Kenma. You instead double checked the kind of phone Kenma had before speaking. "Send it over with Apple Pay?"

He shrugged before opening your guys' conversation and sending over his half. Thankfully due to previous insistence from Oikawa, you had his card saved just in case so you saved it to that card before using it for the items you guys had.

"Hm." you stared at your laptop.

"Hm?" Kenma prompted you to talk.

"Do you mind if we have these go here? We've had some issues with packages being stolen at my dorm."

"Sure." he shrugged, reaching over to enter his mail information before you guys finished checking out.

"Well then! I should probably get going."

Kenma gave you a small nod, standing up to throw away your guys' garbage as you collected your things. Just before you sat up, the front door opened to reveal Kuroo.

"Kenma! I've returned!"

"Okay," was all Kenma said as he came back to you. You let out a small laugh at his simple response.

"Hi Kuroo," you greeted as he walked into the kitchen with you two. The man let out a small, clearly faked, gasp at you being there.

"Hello again! Did I disturb you guys on project stuff?"

"No, you're fine. We actually just finished up!"

"Great timing then. Did you want to stay for dinner, Y/N?" Kuroo offered. It was then you noticed he had some grocery bags.

"Oh," you glanced to Kenma who wasn't even looking at you. He had gone to his phone. "No thanks, but thank you for the offer, I should probably return before my roommate gets worried."

"Are you sure? I promise I can actually cook!"

You let out a laugh, "I'm sure you can cook just fine Kuroo, I'll come back some other time for dinner."

"I'll hold you to that!" there was some silence as you swung your bag over your shoulder. "Say, Y/N, could I have your number?"

"Huh?"

"Don't go trying to date my project partner," it was the first time since Kuroo had walked in Kenma looked up from his phone. The accused man held up his hands with a smile.

"Not, promise. I just thought it'd be nice since you guys'll be working together for this semester. In case something happens and you can't tell them, so I can!"

"Makes sense," you shrugged, pulling out your phone to him. "Enter your number, I'll send you a text when I get home."

Kuroo happily did so, taking a quick selfie on your phone which made you laugh and Kenma roll his eyes, before your phone returned to your pocket.

"Now then, I should get going. Bye! I'll see you in class Kenma, and whenever I see you next Kuroo!"

Kuroo excitedly waved at you, nudging against Kenma to make him look up and wave to you. You laughed before walking out, closing the door behind you.

0.12 -- Masterlist -- 0.14

Notes

My current desperation to write the Oikawa SMAU is infecting everything, so if there's like way too much Oikawa love going on in these, SHUSH, he's like- kind of a platonic lover in here

I love Kenma, but man is dry asf and no one can change my mind. Like he WILL be talking more/being less dry in the future but especially when they're not even considered friends we getting the dry treatment guys

Also Ima be honest I don't really know how the like apple pay through messages works so don't overthink it, I just had to make it work

These were supposed to be out yesterday but I got like a massive migraine that wouldn't go away so I didn't feel like arranging everything so I didn't <3

I'm going to be home alone Wednesday-Friday which either means Ima get so much done or nothing done, so I guess we shall see then

These notes are totally not me procrastinating more on cleaning my room (totally)

Taglist

@staygoldsquatchling02 @walllflowerrrsss @oyasumeii @rinnylvr

@bi-bi-papillon @ris-krispie @madiexuberant @giocriedpower

@lunavixia @singleandlonely @yuminako @from-mae @3lectraheart

@kodzusora @skycasin0 @scinclaitnoir @itsdragonius @d3ly-p4v

@anqelkoz @kodzubaby @mirtaspace

Fill out this form to be added!

(bolded if I can't tag you so double check your settings <3)

[askthisfishprince]

✨Official Disclaimer/FAQ Master Post✨

I'm going to be pinning this one, just in case anyone has questions or hopefully make some things easier to find! Will also add things as I need to.

Questions Regarding Timelines or “Canon”

I don't have an exact timeline in my head for this blog. In my imagination, Eridan and the other trolls are just alive again and in the present, and all the previous storylines still exist within it. The difference is that it takes place after the comic, so everyone is an adult just going along for the ride lol I guess that's what I'm going for 🤷‍♀️

I apologize if I stray away from the "canon"... I try to stay as true to the characters and their dynamics as I can. But sometimes it's just fun to be a bit silly and go off book for the sake of adding some humor. Also….it is an ask blog of a character that died pretty early on and did not get much in the “character development” department lol So again, I do my best to write him as “canon” to his true attitude and behavior as I can. But it can get very hard to give nuance to a guy who overall was pretty shitty, didn’t have much dialogue in the first place while also giving him a fake timeline that takes place a couple years down the line and allow him to have a crumb of self improvement without it coming off as too ooc. So if you see behavior that you don't think is accurate to him…..i promise I do my best…….i have google docs and PowerPoints on this guy lol so I promise the brain rot runs deep

Why I Haven’t Answered Your Question

If you notice that I have not answered your question there are multiple factors.

I couldn’t come up with decent enough dialogue that I felt was good enough to respond with. I am extremely stubborn

I work a full time job and just couldn’t find the time to :(

It was a very strange question and I have no idea what to say lol usually sexual, creepy, violent etc

I have gotten multiple of the same question and I am currently working on a reply.

I waited too long and I feel too bad to respond now ❤️

I can tell if you are spamming me with the same question even if you are anonymous lol And I'm sorry but I won't answer those lol

My inbox is actually insane at times and I genuinely can’t get to everyone :(

I promise I read every single question and I appreciate all of them!! Even the creepy ones.

But I am one person running this blog on my own time with a full time job with only so much time during the day 😔 I also have rampant adhd that can make it very hard to complete certain things

“Will I be making more content of Eridan and *insert character*”

I try to avoid having strict shipping content on here. I don't want this blog to become limited in my responses because I inadvertently turned it into a shipping blog. I do enjoy dropping hints, but for the most part, I prefer to keep things open so that I don't unintentionally limit myself. I also don't want fans who ship other things to feel like they can't ask questions about different characters or scenarios.

I do not have any “headcannons” that I am against or a ride or die for…but….please do not send me any Cronus and Eridan shipping questions. It is very yucky to me. I outright ignore the ministrife….i pretend to not see it 🥰

Am I An Eridan “Defender”?

No lmao

I’m not gonna write down my whole pathetic analysis on him. But I’m not gonna be here at my old age defending a fictional fish guy who boasted about the aspects of eugenics and harass people who disagree?? What is this?? 2013? lol

If you hate him and think he is awful. That is 100000% A-okay! You are allowed to! And I understand lmao

If you ever want to actually talk about Eridan openly, and discuss him as a character or anything. Just dm me! :)

Also just a reminder to clarify that my writing for Eridan does not necessarily reflect my personal feelings. If you ask “Eridan” about certain characters and my response seems mean or nasty, please note that it doesn't mean I dislike the ship or character. Eridan is not particularly friendly, even towards people he likes, so I try not to insert too much of my own feelings into his responses.

(Erisol, EriRox, eridan and literally everybody lmao….except maybe Karkat…..thats his bro…)

Tags

All of my Eridan responses will always be tagged under my url “askthisfishprince”

Any questions directed at me that I post responses for will be under

“NotEridanAsks”

How To View The Post Properly

Whenever I make a response, I try to keep things as clear as possible! Any text in the description or in the tags that does NOT have (()) around it, means thats Eridan talking.

Anything besides that is ✨me✨ lol

Always check the tags for extra dialogue! :) and also always check for “read more” because sometimes I add extra silly doodles lol

Also sometimes I give my two cents as to why I did something a certain way in the tags. So if you care to hear me Yap, check the tags.

Also if you ever want to send an ask to me, either state in the ask that its for op or just put (()) around it! :)

[lovelytsunoda]

holding out for a hero ( iii ) // platonic! mercedes amg

summary: a holiday party at marcus armstrong's house brings changes to y/n's life, in the form of both a british f2 driver she'd rather not show her face around ever again, and a very awkward milestone.

pairing: platonic!mercedes amg f1 x reader, brief olli caldwell x reader

warnings: first kisses, a slew of emotions i don't want to unpack, it's going to be cute and angsty all at the same time, self-deprecation, basically the same warnings as the rest of the series tbh, mentions of an alcohol allergy, paul being a little shit

author's note: this is lowkey based on the story of my first kiss from last december . . . i actually hated it all and we're back to the drawing board on that whole dating thing. i fear my standards may be too high.

this series would make such a good sitcom tbh

"marcus, for the last time, i don't do parties." y/n insisted, frowning at the face on her phone as she stride out of the mercedes building in brackley. "i don't care that i already know most of the people who are going to be there, or that the guys are bringing their girlfriends. the answer is no."

"come on!" marcus armstrong begged on the other end of the facetime call, laughing as the young intern clumsily zipped up her tommy hilfiger jacket, hiding the bottom half of her face under the collar as the wind whipped her face, flakes of snow beginning to fall from the winter sky. "it's not as bad as you're thinking it's going to be. it's literally just at my house, my younger sister is going to be there."

y/n snorted. "come on, armstrong. if you think telling me that your teenaged sister is going to be at the party is a drawing factor, you need to reevaluate things in your life. besides, liam is going to be there and it's going to be ultra painful to see him and his girlfriend being all loved up."

silverstone had been a huge knock to y/n y/l/n's self-confidence. it had taken a lot for her to allow herself to be that vulnerable. to dance in front of the rowdy group of boys, to let her guard down long enough to meet new people, to have a good time.

to tell liam lawson that she thought he was cute, just for liam to shatter her heart into a million peices without even meaning or trying to.

god, she wished she could stop being so sensitive sometimes.

she hadn't been to another race since. she also hadn't spoken directly to liam, occasionally being looped into things on the group chat. as far as she was aware, red bull were shipping him off to japan with cem bolukbasi to run a superformula test.

she was heading back to her car now, the cold air turning her fingers numb as she clutched her phone, digging in her pocket for her car keys.

"i'm not doing it, armstrong."

"and why the bloody hell not? you had a great time in sliverstone, and i'll have james keep liam away from you if that would make you feel better."

y/n had opened her mouth to say something when she felt a pair of hands clapping her on the shoulders.

"she's going." susie wolff insisted. "come on, y/n. you need to get out more. you deserve to let yourself have fun."

"but this party isn't going to be fun, susie."

susie grinned, hands in the deep front pockets of her trench coat. "you won't know unless you try it, kiddo." she turned to the phone. "marcus, she'll be there!"

____

y/n stood in front of her mirrored closet door, smoothing her fingers over her hair, drawn back into a tight half-up ponytail kind of style.

"you look great, kiddo!" angela cullen's voice faintly filtered through the phone speakers, a kelsy karter song playing softly from the turntable in the corner.

"ang, i'm going to make a fool out of myself out there." y/n groaned. "i hate parties!"

"but you know these guys, y/n. you know marcus, you know clem and you know fred. you'll be fine. with that being said, if you want to leave early, call one of us."

"oh, you'll definitley be getting some kind of call." she rolled her eyes, stopping the turntable and sliding the shiny black vinyl back into it's sleeve, fairy lights twinkling above her. "what if they don't like me, angela?"

"and what if they love you?"

after bidding the physiotherapist her goodbyes, y/n pocketed her phone and padded across the dusty apartment floor to her kitchen. the apartment felt too big for her to live in on her own, and technically she didn't, but it's not like her roommate was ever home. she sighed to herself, opening the fridge to stare at the almost empty shelf, making a mental note to order her groceries.

if there was anything that gave her anxiety, it was grocery shopping. there was a voice in her head that always seemed to tell her that the cashier ringing her groceries through was judging her, or that that mother with two kids in a stroller was frowning at the nutritional index of meals she hadn't even made yet.

she grabbed the plastic container with the kirkland signature logo, groaning to herself as she realized that the lettuce in her pre-made ceaser salad had gone off.

"fuck me." she muttered, throwing the entire thing in the trash before grabbing a ziploc container filled with sliced peppers, that way she had at least eaten something before she went to the party.

just in case her anxiety stamped out her appetite

her nimble fingers sailed across the keyboard as she texted clement, asking for a ride to marcus'. she had no idea where she was going, and she didn't want to be lost in london this close to the new year.

i'll be at the apartment in twenty, and i've got my girlfriend with me. she can't wait to meet you! you're going to have a great time at marcus'

she took a deep breath, reminding herself to calm down a little. it was just marcus armstrong's house. what could possibly go wrong? they're the same people she had such a great time with at silverstone, right?

_____

she regretted going to marcus' almost as soon as she walked through the doors to his massive penthouse. at the track, they could pretend that they were all the same. but not here, not out in the real world when y/n walked through the front doors of his doorman building with glass elevators, his penthouse that was bigger than even the townhouse she grew up in with her parents.

in the kitchen, marcus had stacked a sturdy tower of martini glasses. behind them, felipe drugovich was standing on a kitchen chair with a bottle of ferrari trento champagne in his arms.

"i've always wanted to do this!" the f2 champion shouted. "come on, guys. someone get this on tape!"

"dear lord, what are the twenty stooges doing now?" she groaned, leaning against the wall next to jehan daruvala.

jehan laughed. "making a champagne fountain because liam said he saw it in a movie once. felipe wanted to do the honors of puring it, and nobody wants to argue with the f2 champ, especially when he just found out he's not getting a race seat next year, but logan is."

"shit. i guess the feeder series system just isn't working like it used to."

a chorus of cheers from the kitchen island disrupted further conversation, the warm lights shining down on the last person that y/n wanted to see. god, motorsport was a small world, wasn't it?

liam lawson locked eyes with her from across the apartment, giving her a sad and sympathetic smile. she bit her lip to stop from grimacing, meekly waving back.

nobody else knew what had happened between her and liam, and she preferred to keep it that way.

"y/n!" marcus shouted, throwing his arms in the air and waving her over. "come join us!"

"have a drink." clement encouraged, trying to pass her a glass of champagne.

she shook her head. "give it to your girlfriend, novalak. i'm actually allergic to alcohol."

calan williams narrowed his eyes, skeptically sipping from his own glass. "that sounds fake."

y/n laughed, moving closer to the kitchen island. "its a genetic thing. i can't handle anything more than a cooler or a mixed drink. anything stronger will have me throwing up for hours."

"i think there's some smirnoff ice in the fridge." marcus suggested, pointing towards a large cabinet front. ayumu iwasa opened the cabinet, revealing the fridge behind it.

fucking rich people.

"what the hell, pass me one of the peach smirnoff coolers in the door."

"to felipe!" dennis hauger shouted, hefting his beer into the air, arm full of tattoos on display. "our 2022 champion!"

"and to logan, my old teammate!" liam lawson added, throwing his arm around logan sargeant's neck. liam looked drunkest of all, though it seemed like all of the drivers were a wreck. "williams racing's last hope."

she spent most of the night wandering around marcus' massive house, ducking in and out of conversations. she appreciated that the drivers were trying to help her feel at home, but there was still a small part of her that wanted to flee, to run away and sit at home with her emily henry book or watch a korean psychological thriller.

"so who's actually sticking around next year?" jack doohan asked, slumped across marcus' living room sofa. "aren't they cleaning house in f2?" his buzzcut was growing back in, his shaggy blonde hair fitting his face much better, although the look still seemed odd since the length was at that awkward stage.

"it's dennis, you, ayumu, jehan, enzo, theo, me, amaury, roy, ralph." fred vesti started counting off on his fingers, a drunken slur underneath his words if one listened carefully.

"and i'm not going anywhere any time soon!" ralph boomed. "i'm like fernando fucking alonso, motherfuckers! 2023 is going to be my year, just you wait and see!"

"yeah right! the championship is as much yours as it is clem's!" marcus shouted back with a laugh, an aperol spritz in hand as he messed with the stereo.

"oh, fuck you lot." clement laughed, curled up in an armchair with his girlfriend. "you didn't need to do me like that in front of ines, come on, have some class."

"am i forgetting about anyone?" fred hummed. "i skipped clem, but am i missing anyone else?"

"what about zane? he's coming back, yeah?" amaury suggested.

"dude, it's a miracle that you're coming back." dennis snorted. "i thought you were gone for sure after that speeding ticket fiasco. how long did you lose your license for?"

sitting on the couch in between jack and olli caldwell, she felt suffocated. she drew her arms in on herself, trying to create a bubble of space from the aussie on one side and the briton on the other. her palms felt sweaty, her chest heavy.

"are you okay?" olli asked her softly. "do you want to get out of here? we can go for a walk, take a breather?"

she nodded quickly, her voice soft. "please? i love you all, i really do, but this is a bit much."

"yeah, come on. let's grab your jacket." olli encouraged, taking her by the hand as they both slipped out of marcus' living room.

not that anybody noticed they were gone. or that they had left together.

once they were both outside, y/n felt better. the cool breeze on her face, the twinkling christmas lights that had been lit up glowing in the haze as snow began to fall gently.

"so where are you off to next year if it's not f2?" she asked, fingers still laced with olli's as they walked down the sidewalk.

"endurance, i think. alpine are still sponsoring me as a driver, so laurent has been a hige help in trying to find me something else. it's something different, and i'm looking forward to it. what about you?"

"i have no idea." she answered truthfully, dropping olli's hand. "my internship runs out before the season starts in bahrain. then it will be back to the real world, the world where i'm on my own with my five friends and my roommate. i'm hoping that toto will keep me on next year, but i also realize that he might not have that control. it would be a shame to leave, though. i feel like i've finally found my place in this world."

they stopped walking, y/n leaning against the brickwork exterior of marcus' condo complex. olli stood in front of her, hands in his jeans pockets, his breath turning into mist in the air.

"i'm sure it will all work out. and even if mercedes don't take you on, there are so many other motorsports in europe that you can try. and you'll always have us, y/n. any time you want them, i've got wec tickets for you."

"thanks, olli. really."

they drifted into a silence, somewhat easy, somewhat not. olli's hands came up to press against the wall, his face just milimeters from hers. her heart started pounding, anticipation building in her bones.

is this it? is it really happening? is olli caldwell going to kiss me?

and then he leaned in, his lips pressed against hers.

y/n y/l/n had just had her first kiss.

_____

"so let me get this straight, you finally got your first kiss, a boy actually wanted to go out with you, and you're turning him down?"

"well, when you put it like that!" y/n groaned, face in her hands as she slumped back in her desk chair.

it was the week after marcus armstrong's party, the group sitting in the legal department at the mercedes f1 factory in brackley. she had already told the full story, and her face was pinker than a crush cream soda.

"i just don't understand what your train of thought is here, if i'm being honest." george chuckled. "so caldwell kissed you. what's the big deal?"

"because it was my first kiss, george! i've been thinking it over all weekend, and i felt sick to my stomach when olli texted me the morning after." she groaned, running her hands over her face. "you're going to laugh at me when i tell you why."

"i promise you, we aren't going to laugh, y/n." lewis said gently, placing a hand on her shoulder. "all of what you're feeling is normal."

she sighed. "it didn't feel the way that the books said it was supposed to feel."

"that's your big reasoning? really?" nyck's tinny voice rang through the speaker on mick shumacher's phone. in abu dhabi, the reserve driver had officially been traded to scuderia alphatauri, and by extension, not allowed into brackley to be privy to this conversation. so, naturally, he was facetimed and looped in anyways.

"mick, can you please mute the traitor." y/n groaned, reaching for the german boy's phone before mick laughed and pulled it out of her reach to mute the call himself.

on screen, nyck was still talking.

"i know it sounds stupid, but i've felt sick about it all weekend. what am i supposed to do, guys?"

"i think that your feeling are vaild, first of all." mick began, "and that maybe olli came on too strong."

mick's finger slipped, unmuting the call enough for nyck to shout. "did i not just say that? were you not listening?"

"you have so much time, y/n." lewis said with a small smile. "but i hope you've learned something about yourself from this, yeah? maybe this was the boost of self confidence that you needed?"

she had thought about the kiss all weekend, hoping that she could make it make sense, and that she wasn't overreacting. and it's not like olli had done anything wrong, although french kissing was a little much for the first date, even when it wasn't even a date, and she was trying to convince herself that telling olli she just wanted to be friends was the best call.

and then, digging deeper, she had to ask herself if she was even ready for a relationship. because when the idea was finally breathing down her neck, the idea of olli, and going on a date, and sharing so much of herself with someone else, it scared the shit out of her.

"he put his tongue in my mouth, lewis!" she whined. "god, i sound like a child."

"he what?" a muffled voice called from the other side of her desk, followed up by a thump and frantic whispering.

"what the fuck?" y/n mumbled, getting out of her desk chair and leaning over the glass cubicle wall. "paul?"

with a shit eating grin on his face, paul aron slipped out from underneath the table, kimi antonelli just behind him. while paul didn't look the least bit apologetic, kimi looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole.

"i am so sorry, miss. we shouldn't have been listening." the italian boy bowed his head. "but blame paul, it was his idea."

"what, i wanted the office gossip." the estonian boy shrugged. "he french kissed you, and you friendzoned him? that's a little sad."

"paul get out!" y/n snapped. "or i'll call toto and bono!"

the threat of toto wolff was enough to get kimi and paul to dart out of the room faster than the freca cars that they drove. toto didn't know about the kiss, mainly because she knew that he had otmar and laurent on speed dial and would find a way to put the fear of god into oliver caldwell for hurting his intern.

the bond that she had formed with the wolff family wasn't something she would have traded for the world. she found herself calling or texting toto's daughter rosa more often, with the two being of a similar age.

she just hoped that toto liked her enough to keep her around for another season.

"there are plenty of fish in the sea, kiddo." susie wolff added, striding into the office. "and don't worry, i'm not going to tell toto. although, paul and kimi might. take this as a learning experience. and don't take any advice from this lot." she added, whacking george in the back of the head with a file folder.

"why did i feel like that was directed at me?" the man from king's lynn groaned.

"the right boy will come when the time is right. god knows i met toto later in life. and look at us now." susie continued, pulling y/n in for a hug. "come on, we have an investor meeting with monster, and toto wants you there."

"me? he wants me in a meeting with our biggest sponsor?"

lewis laughed. "you need to start giving yourself more credit. you are so loved here, y/n. you have a future in motorsport law, a future here."

mick, lewis and george all exchanged a look, bright smiles on their faces.

"what are you not telling me? is toto keeping me on for next year?"

"we aren't allowed to say anything just yet." george started. "but, i think toto has a soft spot for you."

"put it this way: you'll know before bahrain, and you might want to pack some summer clothes." susie smiled.

Tags:

@magnummagnussen @diorleclerc @daydreamingleclerc @scuderiamh @sidcrosbyspuck @libraryofloveletters

[rainybraindays]

I don't like making posts like this, I don't like opening my blog up for people to come and harrass me but oh my god, why does the fandom allow posts like this to get away unscathed?

You don’t have to like Marina. I'll never claim that. You can like or dislike whoever you want.

But I do wonder, if Marina was played by a white woman would we get nearly as many posts like this? Would everyone be as okay with it? Would we have been so quiet about the fact that Ruby Barker was harrassed for this role? Or would there be way more people defending her? Would she suddenly be sympathetic when now shes not?

Why are we all so okay with taking this character with a nuanced story, put in a horrible situation with almost no options and turning her into a villian?

Like did we watch the same show? Did you miss the bit where she doesn't want to find a husband at all and only starts when she thinks shes been abandoned, which she only believes because she gets a forged letter saying she was? Did you not see Portia slap her? Did you not also watch a man old enough to be her grandfather being forced on her?

Lying to Colin wasn't okay, I'm not defending that, but literally tell me what her options were?

The man she loves is dead, but she doesn't even know that she thinks he abandoned her, so she can't reasonably assume Phillip will take responsibility when his brother won't. The only people Portias interested in introducing to her are those she wouldn't introduce to her own daughters. She can't reasonably think Colin will be open to her as a wife since shes pregnant becausethats not the norm. But Colin is, he says he would have married her even knowing. And Colin also doesn't view Marina as a villian, in season two hes sad yeah, but he’s also guilty because he doesn't think she deserved what happened.

This is a nuanced messy situation but no one wants to look at that.

Like you all make it very clear you view her as a whore, because she did a very normal thing and had sex. You all view her as a manipulative snake of a person, when if she was even the Whistledown article wouldn't have been a stop for her because she would have tried to get out of it. You conveniently forget that she almost killed herself in an attempt to abort her children because of her mistreatment post Whistledown article because that takes away from the idea you've concocted that shes some villainous bitch.

But then you turn around and want Penelope to have sexual knowledge that she realistically wouldn't and canonically doesn’t. You praise her for her Whistledown work even though it keeps hurting people she loves and shes lying about doing it.

This is weird, posting about how you can't wait for a character to die, and how you hope the death is - lets be honest here- humiliating, is a bizarre thing to do.

Its even more bizarre to do that, tag the character, and then also tag two ships that really the post really isn't about.

Like why is Polin tagged? Because they're both mentioned? This isn't a polin moment. You don’t talk about them at all in the meat of the post. Why is Philoise tagged? Because she's an 'obstacle' for them? They haven't even met, they aren't mentioned at all, they have nothing to do with this.

And on top of tagging these things you say "don't try and defend her to me" which why would we you clearly wouldn't listen. You follow that with saying "If you like her you probably suck" and claim to have tagged this as anti marina when you didn't. You put this in her main tag and then added "death to marina".

Theres no respect to your peers in the fandom, and clear disrespect to people who do like this character and are actually willing to engage with the character beyond fanon portrayal. Because thats what this is its not even taking her at face value anymore.

You wonder why people dislike this fandom, specifically the polin side of it, and do things like this. We as a community need to improve because stuff like this isn't uncommon, this is just one of the most blatant I've seen.

I'm going to be entirely honest if you follow quotegirl19, or don't see the issues with Marinas portrayal and treatment by the fandom this is not the blog for you.

[manic-pixie-aquarius]

Mike Wheeler, quick to defend Will but not El

No cause it's crazy that Mike didn't hesitate to stand up to bullies talking shit about Will in his absence, but when bullies started surrounding El with a camera, clearly about to humiliate her Mike just stood there. (As did Will, but to be fair we never see Will stand up to bullies. But he did aid El earlier when her diorama was broken).

Yeah, Mike was already upset that she lied, but she lied about having friends due to her insecurity. If my s/o lied about something like that to me, I wouldn't be that upset... I would be empathetic and try to help them feel comfortable by talking about my own experience with bullies and not fitting in at school... which leads me to ask once again WHY do people still ship Mileven??😭 They are not good together! I've been an advocate for El being single and learning how to be independent from Mike and men in general because there have been so many men with power over her her whole life who've dictated everything she does- INCLUDING Mike, and as much as I love him as a character, he is such a bad boyfriend to El!!!

(I saw a gif earlier of Mike saying this paralleling Brenner but can't find it anymore ughh)

Anyways, off of this tangent, Mike being upset and passive aggressive and overall unhelpful to El after she is humiliated is because he's actually upset with Will and therefore cannot be bothered by El's issues - which is entirely fucked up. Like bro that is your GIRLFRIEND. Just like you said to Will...

She's your girlfriend but you sure aren't taking your boyfriend duty that seriously... you didn't even want to talk to her after she got humiliated in front of her classmates. Everyone is focused on your quietly sulking ass at the dinner table, but you didn't even go through the brunt of the problems your girlfriend and best friend did (as far as we know, we don't see any major struggles Mike is going thru prior to season 4 --besides the hellfire club stuff--unlike El's bullying and Will's struggle with queerness. Those of us who aren't the GA know that Mike not writing "Love" is likely an internal issue with him falling out of love with El/struggling with his queerness). Like Will is initially upset at El because she keeps lying to Mike about her status and he's also mad about Mike not reaching out to him. El is mad at Will for telling the truth and also at Mike for not standing up for and helping her/probably for being scared of her and rubbing her mistake (hurting Angela) in her face "What did you do?!"/for him not saying he loves her. Basically, El has multiple reasons to be upset at Mike. And Mike's upset at Will for not reaching out/"being a douche" to El/for thinking that he should be a top priority along with El. He is also upset at El for lying, although he expresses anger at Will for not telling him about El's lying even though he didn't even know about the lying. In Mike's eyes, he isn't doing anything wrong even though he is a big subject of both Will and El's insecurities. So why is he sulking? If anything, El should be the one allowed to sulk and get the sympathy/empathy. But she doesn't, and Mike acting like the victim of this whole situation in this scene sends El over the edge.

I honestly love this scene because she had every right to be mad at Mike. And I'm not trying to let Will off the hook here, but he was trying to be noble by clearing any lies before they went too far, although they went too far anyway. He also has every right to be upset at Mike (as far as we know, because Will mentions that Mike didn't reach out which leads us to believe that the reaching out was one-sided)

Note: I haven't done a season 4 rewatch yet so correct me if I'm wrong about anything. I only rewatched the rink fight and Byers dinner scenes for this post!

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Just wanted to say that i shared your post about Miraculous being a cross between magical girl (team) and rom-com genres and the failings of it.

It spawned a fun debate as we tried to think of other shows who tried the same thing but stayed in the mid-zone of both genres. All we ended up with was Teen Titans (as you mentioned) and Inuyasha which don't quite fit the bill as they aren't exactly magic girl shows in the traditional sense before we swerved off to try to find examples of other genres that don't mess well but should.

Anyways, just wanted to thank you for the analysis. It spawned a fun discussion.

Thank you for this lovely ask! It really made me smile. I love knowing that my stuff is getting people talking about storytelling! The main reason that I run this blog is not to dunk on Miraculous, but to talk about writing.

I'm a big fan of the saying that "failure is the greatest teacher," but I also like to point out that it doesn't need to be your failure! Talking about the things a piece of media did wrong and comparing it to media that did those things right is one of the best ways to learn about writing and far more helpful than just looking at good stories as there are thousands of ways to tell a good story.

To give my two cents to your debate (without knowing the fine details) the first two seasons of Digimon have some similar dynamics of romance between various leads, though it's also not a magical girl team show and the romance is certainly not focused on like it is in Teen Titans. One magical girl team show that did a great job of having a romance plot play a big role in a story is - strangely enough - My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

While it's not really a rom-com (though it could have been and worked just as well), the second season ends with a two-part episode called A Canterlot Wedding and it's very cute. The couple that's established in that special goes on to have several episodes focused on them and their romance.

The reason this worked so well was that the romance was between ponies outside of the core team, so you didn't have to figure out how to make friendship the most important thing while also making romantic love the most important thing. By making both forces important in their own ways, the writers were able to let the couple be extremely close and passionate about each other while also allowing friendship to have a key role.

That's the issue that you have to keep in mind if you want to try to blend the genres: figure out a way to add in a romance without messing up the core team and creating a setup where romance is making friendship take a back seat. You also need to figure out how to deal with someone external to the team warring with the team for narrative importance.

My two cents? Just make some of the magical girls lesbians, bi, pan, or any other sexuality that allows for same-sex attraction. That should allow you to have romance in your team without the nasty complication of trying to make a person external to the team super important. After all, what is a good romance if not a friendship with bonus features? I wouldn't be surprised if there's a story out there that has already done this (not sure if Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus from Sailor Moon count since I don't think that their romance gets a major story line around it, but if it does, then just mirror that!)

And if there's not a magical girl team show that has done this? Then I'm certain that you can find fanfic that has. After all, people tend to ship the characters who get the most screen time together no matter who the canon love interests are supposed to be. That's why shonen anime is dominated by yaoi ships. Those shows rarely develop the hetero love interest the way that magical girl team shows do and so people ship the guys together. Meanwhile, magical girl team shows assume that the audience wants a good romance and so the hetero love interests tend to feel more fleshed out.

[rise-my-angel]

I can understand the anti jonsa/jonrya/jongritte but I'm wondering about the jon/daenerys thing and if you don't mind I'd like to know why (asking as someone who only watched the show & wasn't bought by their dynamic)

It actually starts with the exact same problem as Ygritte's dynamic with him. Jon arrives at a place and is taken prisoner, his weapons are taken from him, he cannot leave of his own accord and has no way home alone, and he has no choice but to try and convince the people or person keeping him hostage that they should trust him. Only for the other person to develop an attraction, and whose dynamic can only be developed as long as Jon still is not allowed to leave or fight back. Only for it to go apparently romantic, when really, his situation has not changed if he resists.

If he is with Ygritte, and he shows signs of resistence or being against her cause, she and the others will kill him, and he knows it.

If he is with Dany, and he shows signs of resistence or being against her cause, she and her dragons will kill him, and he knows it.

Remember, when he goes beyond the Wall (gods protect me thinking about that episode), he literally has to leave by force because she still refused to give him "permission" to leave the island she's kept him trapped on for weeks. Their reunion is not romantic, and neither is them getting together. Up until a day ago, he was her prisoner and he still is at the mercy of her dragons.

If at any moment Jon truly resists her, she will kill him. There is not a single moment of their relationship where she didn't consider Jons life forefit if he didn't meet her exact expectations of total loyalty. Just like Ygritte did.

What it comes off to me, is that Jon has no interest in her whatsoever nor does he want to be with her, but he knows he is still her prisoner and even worse, she has dragons that could destroy his family and kingdom if she so chooses, if he stood against her. I think Jon realized Dany was interested in him, and realized that he was in a situation just like Ygritte. Trapped, and forced to play along much to the determent of his own mental health.

Jon is never not at Dany's total mercy if he displeases her.

Any time they get together it is clearly Dany summoning Jon, and one time it's very bad. Jon is extremely drunk to the point he can barley stand on two feet, and she is stone cold sober. She tries to get him to have sex with her, he resists and she still tries and it only ends because it turns into an argument about another topic all together.

If Jon was trying to convince a drunk girl telling him no, to have sex with him, we all know what we'd call that. What we'd call him. I do not consider Jon being a man, and Dany being a woman, to change that dynamic. Dany also has all the power of him as a Queen who forced him to bend the knee, and she has two dragons in his home that will kill him and anyone else she chooses whenver she wants.

Jon is literally unable to consent to this relationship at any point and the literal only way out he had, was to unironically kill her.

If you look through my anti jonerys tag you can find other posts I've made going into the details about why I think they do not work fundementally as characters in general, but I stand firmly against the show relationship for these reasons.

It's the same prisoner/abuse/rape situation as with Ygritte, but even worse, because Dany can and would use her dragons on him, his family, and his people if she decided Jon wasn't loyal enough anymore.

I don't think Jon ever wanted to be with her, in any way shape or form. But was forced to pretend to because he was her prisoner from the moment he stepped onto Dragonstone until the moment he killed her.

I think as for the books, they just do not work as a couple in even a functional manner and there is no hint that they ever even would become a couple in the first place and that shipping them in the books is pure jonsa style wish fufillment fanon.

Again, my anti jonerys tag has many posts about this topic since I've tackled it at many angles over the past few months if you're interested further in what I think!