#why do my managers hate me
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This is the dumbest fucking split shift I've ever worked like I went in from 8-9:30 this morning and now I have to go back from 1-6 who tf
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have had another like , sucky ending to a work day that literally made me cry bc I’m so frustrated
#repeatedly being told my skirts aren’t appropriate#the last one I was threatened with a write up bc it has a slit#this one is apparently too short even though I was SITTING when she saw me in it#which the manager who said it . Has literally SEEN me in it and not said anything before#so I’m like ????#why do my managers hate me#and tbh it’s never the men - it’s the women#the woman who did it isn’t even MY manager - my manager has not said a word to me#so I’m like . do I do like my coworker said and send a pic to HR and ask them about the skirt????#I’m just like#i CANT wear pants every day bc it’s getting hot and the pants are unbearable#but i also CANT keep spending money on skirts thinking they’re ok only to get shut down#and i WONT be discussing every skirt I want to wear with my managers before wearing it#like this is literally bullshit and of course she said it front if everyone#both the women leads and all three men and the guy manager#like literally die#personal
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I've been kinda trying to ship meljayvik for a week and I'm officially giving up. I'm too weak for this shit. I've started shipping them for several reasons mostly: 1. I like all 3 characters 2. Meljayvik art is beautiful 3. the jokes about Jayce being in love with 2 magical beings are great 4. Jayce has a type 5. Many members of the arcane team have been open about shipping meljayvik 6. While I do believe there are not enough Mel-Viktor interactions, I believe the ship has big potential and I've stumbled upon several ideas for fics that I find charming as well as interesting. 7. Toks (Mel's VA) is a great, talented person, she makes me love Mel and crave more Mel content.
That being said, I'm giving up. Almost every single time I search through tags and Mel or M3ljay* (if you wonder why it's censored look at the end of the post) are mentioned alongside Viktor and Jayvik 95% of the content is just pure hate, insults, harassment, and vitriol. The hate comes from both ways of course and perhaps some m3ljay fans have encountered some from jayvik fans but, personally, I have seen much more hate directed at viktor and people shipping jayvik or even meljayvik. People say "don't erase and vilify Mel for jayvik" (which I agree with) only to in the same comment or post vilify Viktor and hate on him making sometimes ridiculous claims. Innocent jokes referencing what c.l. said, about how if Jayce sees Viktor as a brother then his relationship with Mel is also "sibling-coded" are treated as a war crime by some M3ljay fans even if you ship both. Joking about Mel's actress liking jayvik posts, shipping them or referencing her doing that in any way is a crime and any person who has ever dared to consider Jayce and Viktor as romantic, post any art or joke about jayvik (which also includes Mel's VA) is insulted, harassed, slandered and called "racist". Even shipping meljayvik is treated as an insult because "only m3ljay is ok"). And don't even let me start on Mel because she can only ever be perfect and anytime somebody dares to say that while she is not perfect she is still a complex, interesting character it's treated as hating on her... Saying that she is skilled in manipulation, politics, intrigues, schemes, and playing people is somehow an insult despite it being her job and despite her achieving so much while at such a young age on her own being a testimony to how good at it and skilled she is. Saying that she was on the council for many years and the council has done awful things to Zaun is not permitted. Mentioning that her relationship with Jayce, while real, started as her trying to use and manipulate him because he was an investment - which is even an important theme in the show and the reason why they have a falling out in s2 - is somehow a hate crime. A lot of these people don't even care about Mel and often say stuff suggesting that if she doesn't end with Jayce she is somehow useless and disposable while, in reality, she is a strong, independent, and complex character who has her own story and who would be interesting even if her break up with Jayce in s2 marked the definite end of their relationship (same for Viktor, except maybe having his own story because he and Jayce are intertwined in all universes in that regard). A lot of people are just using Mel (and Sky) to hide their ableism, homophobia, and sheer disgust for gay, bisexual and queer people... Perhaps there is also some hate and toxicity (that shouldn't be there) on the jayvik side of fandom towards M3ljay, but during my limited time as a new meljayvik shipper and looking through tags, I have not encountered people openly hating on Mel at all. Things that get labeled as "hate" are mostly people saying she was manipulative at the beginning (which yes, she was), is good at manipulation (again, she is, like every politician, and it doesn't even make her evil) or is not a saint; people comparing Viktor and Mel's scenes or using the m3ljay tag while also shipping meljayvik; occasionally people saying why they prefer jayvik while also being polite and not hating on Mel (which also happens in reverse)... But never open hate, insults, and harassment that the other side directs towards jayvik fans and viktor. (Screens below - most from tumblr cause I'm lazy, but there are much more of it on other platforms, and the comments are often even worse) I'm too weak to deal with all this toxicity and hate. I still kinda like the ship and the all the characters but I'm going back to jayvik only.
*(I'm censoring this so that m3ljay fans who probably don't want it in their tag won't have to interact with this post because I consider it basic human culture. Would be lovely if m3ljay fans who love to shit on jayvik in jayvik fans did the same for once)
#jayvik#meljayvik#jayce talis#viktor arcane#shipping drama :P#I'm strongly temped to use that ship tag because they post most hate under jayvik or meljayvik but I won't lower my standards#why tf can't people even learn basic rules like not tagging blatant hate in the other fandom#but also not to insult or harass people who disagree with your ship#Should also tag M3l because there's literally nothing offensive to her and it's not a M3l hate but I won't even do that#I said what I said#too often people hide their raging ableism homophobia or biphobia behind M3l#If you somehow managed to still ship all three of them together for longer than several days you're stronger than me :/
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Various other one-sided swap doodles inspired by oomfs comments
#clemspaint#clemart#yeah sure why not lets just maintag it all#flooding the tag with my slop doodles. the toontowners hate him#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#mac opsys#winn dos#brian and ben are also there . bens only there bc in the last image theyre supposed to be boxing#bens a funny character to me i like the fact he goes through peoples mailboxes and also boxes#i should actually draw him one day#in terms of managers that brain is the only one that fills my mind but everyone else gets (1) thought once in a blue moon#lalalaa what else can i add down here thats completely irrelevant to the drawing#anyone else really in the mood for sherbet ice cream. ive been craving it for days but im too afraid to ask to go to the store#we have ice cream technically but its this chocolate flavor thats too rich for me and also i dont care for chocolate that much so yknow
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I’m bout sick of these people
#leave her alone!!!!!!#I could rant for days but it all boils down to hypocrisy#if feyre and elaine had support during their dark times why is everyone leaving nesta to rot????#like get out of my face#this book managed to do a full 180 on my opinions of all of these characters who used to be dear and cherished and beloved to me#like why was rhys one of my favorite characters and now I hate him with my whole heart???#a court of silver flames#acosf#nesta archeron#nesta#sarah j maas
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The more I listen to reviews and go over Veilguard and finished my second playthrough, the more I dislike it. It's not a 'roleplaying' game. I don't get to play any role - I just get railroaded into one. I miss being able to go up and start a conversation. Or play to set up my origin before being dropped in. I like romance to be present and build, not just only happen in the last minute. I need a game that also isn't hand holding me the entire time - and this example is a nitpick but after EVERYTHING throughout the entire game and every fightscene, getting a pop up about how enemy armor works in the middle of the last fight of the game on my second playthrough - I wanted to throw my controller. And stop being peppy about everything if people are supposed to be dying and the world is supposedly ending! It sure doesn't feel like it! How is blood magic and slavery not touched on at all in the blood magic and slavery city! Also let my character mourn damn it! It's not a roleplaying game, I miss Origin, and I've deleted it off my console to keep space free. At least with getting ME1-3 on sale I can replay something with dialogue. Even Mass Effect 3, and that's saying something coming from me.
#Dragon Age the Veilguard#Dragon Age#Veilguard#I miss Zevran and the rest#What a mess#Most importantly: what a waste of money#It was good to see and play but the more I dissect it the more I'm floored comparing it to 1 and 2 and even Inquisition#With what they do to lore I wouldn't even call it a Dragon Age game#God have mercy on the next Mass Effect game if they even manage it#But I'll still be grieving the Thedas that was and could have been#I hate the 1 2 3 ending of ME3 BECAUSE I was invested in my Shephard because the games let me be!#I don't care at all about the 1 2 3 ending of Veilguard because why should I! Why should Rook care about a lot of things!#Veilguard critical
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I am so unbelievably pissed off. FUCK HOAs
Oh, my trash/recycling bin can't be visible except on pickup day? Ok whatever fine I hate you but I can deal with this
Weekly inspections?????? FU FU FU FU FU
SECOND NOTICE ALSO WE'RE CHARGING YOU MONEY TO SEND YOU CERTIFIED MAIL OF THIS TOTALLY LEGIT TOTALLY SECOND NOTICE OF WHAT IS ACTUALLY A VIOLATION cue me: checks notes. Hmm. My recycling bin was. on the curb. on recycling pickup day. You know. The day it has to be out. The day it is motherfucking ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING OUT AND VISIBLE.
so. 1) not a violation
I have sent them the trash AND recycling pickup schedules, which are DIFFERENT, btw
I have disputed the fact of the violation
I have disputed the linking of this "violation" to a previous violation MONTHS AGO--their "first notice" in this case was a "Courtesy Notice" LITERALLY 5 MONTHS AGO and they've done so many inspections since then and my bin CLEARLY WASN'T OUT IN THOSE INTERVENING MONTHS so WTMFH
So I am posting like a crazy person here instead of sending the absolutely deranged email I almost sent (I did send a slightly less deranged version with the disputes, and requesting a hearing)
OMG. It has been. Less than one hour since I learned this fun fun news. My bin was out YESTERDAY, y'all. YESTERDAY. I am going to blow a gasket
#it's a relatively privileged problem to have (omg i have a home truly i am grateful) but it's still a goddamned problem and i'm allowed#to fucking complain about it#in case it needs to be said#*rolling my eyes*#i advocate for free/actually affordable housing for everyone who needs it because we ALL deserve a safe secure stable home#whatever type of home that may be#it is absolutely goddamned ridiculous that megacorps can buy all the housing#rent it out at extortionate rates and evict people willy nilly#and we're talking about a “housing crisis” and not a “STOP LETTING CORPORATIONS AND BILLIONAIRES HOARD ALL THE HOUSING” crisis#goddamn.#ha elect me president (ahaha don't do this i am not a good public speaker) and I'll push congress to pass some really neat legislation#hey be more direct: elect me to congress (ahaha don't do this) and i'll WRITE some goddamn nifty legislation and yell about it as long and#as loud as i can until people start to just fucking say yes to make me shut the fuck up#(i know that's not how it works. again. don't actually elect me to a government position)#exemplia gratis:#No individual person shall own more than 6 homes UNLESS they pay a Housing Market Shrinkage Fee for removing viable housing from the market#why 6 and not 2? 2 is a lot! it's excessive! but having A vacation home shouldn't be a crime. Having 5 vacation homes is ridiculous and#awful and whatever but it's not likely to be the source of all our greatest “housing shortage” problems. no. I'm aiming for the absolutely#monstrously greedy and egregious motherfuckers who---ok#hang on. how many homes does the average min and max homeowner own? I would like to see data on that. but anyway#the next part of the legislation:#Homes owned >6 shall be charged X% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee UNLESS they are rented for affordable (15% or less than renter net income)#housing and are actively occupied by said renters. Rented out and charging more than 15% of renter's net? still gotta pay up.#EMPTY housing >6 shall be subject to an additional Y% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee (tax? should I call it a tax?) which increases with ever#month that the housing goes unoccupied. no one living in it? sell it rent it or pay the fuck up. and still pay the fuck up if you rent it#for way too goddamn much money#but like. less. we only REALLY hate you if you sit on empty houses that you don't even let anyone use#ok that's individuals. now onto BUSINESSES#ok so immediately it gets a little complicated cuz like presumably there's rental management businesses that don't own the rental propertie#that they manage BUT there are also companies that just outright own a shitfuckton of housing and THIS is the truly egregious monstrous sid
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Revenant Side Stories
Story VI: Farah
[Konchar] [Graves] [Gaz] [Price] [Novikov] [AO3]
This was originally going to be a retelling of the entirety of Farah's story in MW 2019, but I underestimated how long that would be, so these are more of snapshots of her life, up until 2019.
Farah is going to be a central character in part two because it will revolve around Urzikstan, so I was very excited to get into her character in depth. This was probably the hardest side story to write because I think the original story was already good (it's easier to write for something that had a lot of flaws in it rather than something good... maybe that's why I like cod after all these months lmao)
Anyway, I also decided I'm actually not done with the side stories, and the last actual one will be of... Roba, of all people. I know I made the comic for Ghost's origin story, but I never got to show what he did to Roba.
Alright That's enough rambling let's get to Farah's story
She doesn’t remember the first time she has heard of revenants. Humans who are saved from death, only to come back with abilities from worlds beyond their own. Of how they are revered, looked up to. And yet, misunderstood.
They don’t look up to revenants in Urzikstan.
The once-dead are not heroes among her people. They’re something to be pitied; people who chose to stay on earth and suffer, instead of move on to a better, calmer existence in the place after death. Take on the burden of the Reapers, dust off the dirt of their graves, and continue the endless fight for freedom.
In Urzikstan, revenants are called “those who sacrifice”.
Her baba taught her and her brother the different names of Reapers, told them tales of those who sacrifice as bedtime stories. She always found them fascinating, as opposed to her brother. They were often grim, their ending tragic and unsatisfying, but they felt more real like that. Felt more like her day-to-day life than any other fairy tale could.
She wouldn’t know how much her story would be like those, before it was too late.
The day she died is muddy, in her memory. Yet another thing she sacrificed, in order to stay in this world. A deafening whistle, followed by walls collapsing around her. Streaks of ash on the bloodless face of her mama. Pain, unlike anything she could imagine. The voices of her baba and brother and uncle, searching. The sickening shifting of concrete above her, whispers praying for mercy, the walls closing in on her-
And she dies.
At seven, before she knew how to write the alphabet, buried beneath the earth with only the pale face of her mother as comfort, Farah Ahmed Karim died. Yet, she did not move on.
The memory of the first time she saw her Reaper was clear. She may have forgotten her mother’s lullabies, or her father’s laughter. She has not been given the privilege to forget her Reaping.
The first thing she noticed was the clean air, an odd odor to it but blessedly lacking the dust she has been inhaling for what felt like hours. The lack of pain was the second - her legs no longer crushed under thick concrete walls.
The monster, was the third. A being made of sharp shapes, glistening metal melting and hardening, flowing through cracks in the stone face of the Reaper.
As the stone face moved, grinding against itself, Farah got up to her feet. Her legs screamed at her to run, but the memory of her baba’s stories calmed her.
“The ones who take do not mean harm to the ones who sacrifice, Farah.” he told her, whispering as to not wake her brother, “they need each other. They need our sacrifice.”
“What for, baba? Why would the ones who take need to give humans their powers?”
Baba sighs, a small smile on his lips as he tucks a stray hair behind her ear, “we don’t know for sure, but we must have something they don’t. Some say we humans were chosen by chance.”
“What do you think?” she asks, her endless craving to know more yet satiated.
“I think we and the ones who take are connected, somehow. I think we are the only ones that can sacrifice.”
Instead of running, instead of listening to all of her senses, Farah stepped forward, and with a small voice asked, “w-who are you?”
The stone face turns to stare at her.
“I AM MIGHT. THE STONE, THE BLADE, THE BULLET.”
The Reaper tilts its head, metal rivers splashing into an endless void.
“DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?”
Farah blinks away the tears that have gathered in her eyes, tries to speak louder, “I’m… I’m Farah? I’m a human, I’m-”
“YOU ARE NOT HUMAN, FARAH. YOU ARE DEAD, BURIED, CRUSHED.”
Her lips turn downwards, and she can’t stop the tears any longer, “w-why are you asking if you know?”
The rocks grind in an almost rhythmic way, and somehow Farah knows it is laughing. It makes her avert her eyes.
“Can… can you save my mama?” she asks, and the sound stops.
“I CANNOT SAVE YOUR MOTHER, FARAH.”
“S-she… I think she also died, can you-”
“I CANNOT SAVE YOUR MOTHER, FARAH.”
She grasps at the torn edges of her dress, sniffing her runny nose, “it’s not… it’s not fair…” her face scrunches as she sobs.
The Reaper leans forward, the light surrounding it reflecting with dazzling colors off of its body. Farah closes her eyes, not because she is afraid of it, but because she is afraid for her mama.
“I CANNOT SAVE HER, BUT I CAN SAVE YOU.”
Farah opens her eyes. Baba said he thinks only humans can sacrifice, but maybe not all humans can. Maybe mama wasn’t able to sacrifice, but…
She lifts her hands to wipe roughly at her face, tears and snot smearing on her skin. Her eyes trail up the falling liquid metal, beating heart deafening her ears.
Her voice is steady when she says, “I want to see baba and Hadir. I don’t want to leave them!”
The stones grind once more, a sort of excitement shaking the very ground.
“YOU WANT TO LIVE, FARAH.”
She nods and repeats, “I-I want to live!”
The Reaper tilts closer, its face level with hers.
“I WILL GIVE YOU THE MIGHT, THE STRENGTH, THE POWER TO LIVE, FARAH. AND I WILL TAKE YOUR SOUL.”
The metal drips near her feet, heat emanating from them. It reminds her of home.
“I choose to sacrifice. For you, for baba, for Hadir. For… for mama.” Farah whispers.
The stones shift, circling her. Her breath picks up at the thoughts of crushing walls, but it is not dark here. No one is shouting. She doesn’t smell death.
Metal singes her clothes, and she wants to jump back, but the stones stop her. It burns. It hurts.
It is not dark, but the bright colors blind her all the same.
“I ACCEPT YOUR SACRIFICE, FARAH.”
“MY MIGHT IS YOURS.”
When she wakes again, Farah doesn’t feel pain. She’s still under ruin, somewhere different from where she was before. All she sees of her mama is a hand, and she holds it. She notices the skin of her own hand glistening in the meager light filtering through dust and ash, like colorful metal. Like her Reaper.
It felt like hours pass before baba found her. She feels hunger and thirst, but the weight of the building doesn’t pain her anymore. Baba is crying when he finds her, pulls her out of the wreckage carefully, asking if she’s hurt.
She tells him nothing hurts. He pulls back from their embrace, his brows scrunched in confusion until he notices.
“I chose sacrifice, baba.”
Baba closes his eyes and hugs her harder, and she knows it would’ve hurt if she could feel it. He tells her everything will be alright. She wanted to believe it. She couldn’t.
They find mama. Hadir tries to wake her up, but Farah pulls his hands away. She tells him mama is in another place now, somewhere better than here. Hadir’s hands shake in hers, but he nods and pulls away.
Uncle and baba rush them home. Farah wants to cover her ears, the sirens don’t stop sounding, the noise pitching up and down along with her heart. Loud explosions make her flinch, so Hadir grabs her hand. It makes her feel safer, for a moment.
They run through the market. There’s a truck stopping in their way.
The Russians.
Baba lifts her in his arms, Uncle taking Hadir. They tell them to cover their mouth, when the Russians throw weird gas at them. It smells like the liquid mama used to clean their house, and it made her eyes itch and burn.
They enter their home, but baba doesn’t stop moving. He gives Hadir a gas mask. He will have to share his with Farah. Uncle leaves, telling baba he’ll meet them later.
“W-where are we going?” Hadir asks, clutching the mask.
Baba grabs a backpack, hidden behind the kitchen cabinets, “we’re going to the bridge, then to the mountains. There will be no sirens there.”
Farah hurries to follow him, wiping blood on her dress. Her skin isn’t bruised, but it feels weird.
“I don’t want to go…” Hadir says with a frown. Baba turns to look at him. He crouches and pets his shoulder.
“I know, dearest. I know. We will return, I promise.” his tone changed, stern like when he taught her not to touch the hot pan, “you need to be strong for your sister now, alright?”
Baba points to Hadir’s heart, “you keep mama here,” his hand moves to his head, “and you keep this clear. That’s how we survive, you understand?”
“Yes, baba.”
Baba shoulders the backpack, and begins walking towards the door, “when we get outside, you stay with me, okay?”
As he goes to open it, the handle moves, and the whole frame shakes. Someone is trying to get in.
“Stay behind me!”
The door slams open, a large man with a gas mask walking in. Farah takes a step back. The man meets her eyes and closes the door, and she stares at his gun.
Baba pleads with the man. He does not listen.
Baba throws his backpack at him, the man shooting a couple of bullets into the floor. They miss Farah’s feet by a few centimeters, and she freezes, breath held in her lungs. Hadir throws himself against the man, but gets shoved back.
The man pulls out a knife, baba manages to take it, stab the man. But it doesn’t change a thing.
It doesn’t save him, when the man pushes him to the floor, and shoots one, two, three, four bullets.
Only then do her feet unstick, and she mutters to herself, “hide!”
She runs back to her and Hadir’s room, crawling under the bed. The man shouts angrily and she hears something break.
Hadir. She needs to help Hadir!
As the man talks to someone on his phone, Farah crawls towards the kitchen, finding a knife. Mama always warned her not to play with them, but if the man catches Hadir…
In her heart, she asks for forgiveness from mama.
When she finds the man, he’s leaning against a wall, his hand clutching his side. Before she can think it over, Farah lowers and slashes at his legs. The man screams in pain, shooting a few bullets at the ground, and turns around to slap her.
It doesn’t hurt, but she drops the knife, so she runs away again.
One of baba’s tools is on the ground, must’ve fallen from his backpack. She grabs it and continues running, the man on her tail now.
The man says mean words to her, in Arabic, but her ears are pounding, her own heavy breaths the only thing she can hear. Her grip on the tool tightens.
“I’m going to kill you!”
Farah watches the man stumble in the hallway, searching.
“You’re going to see father soon, you piece of shit child!”
He trips on the rug. She sneaks closer.
“You’re dead, you hear me?! YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD!”
Farah runs forward, aiming for his other leg, but he turns around and grabs her hand before she can stab him.
“There you are!” he grabs her by the neck, slamming her to the floor, “got you!”
She can feel his hand wrap around her, crushing her windpipe, but it doesn’t hurt. The man grunts, before he freezes.
“You’re- you’re one of them?!”
Hadir jumps on the man’s shoulders, screaming, “get off her!!!”. He uses the knife she dropped to stab him in the neck, “get him, Farah, now!”
Farah grabs the tool, and uses all her strength to stab it into the man’s chest. He screams as flesh gives under the metal.
“It’s working! Again, sister!”
She pulls it out, and repeats.
“Good, Farah!”
And again.
Four times, until the man stops moving and making any sound. Farah takes his mask, the gun too heavy and tool buried in his gut.
Farah and Hadir return to baba. Hadir tries to help him up, but baba stops him.
“I can’t… I can’t go with you.”
Tears well in her eyes. Baba is leaving as well.
Hadir wraps his hands around baba’s, “what do we do?”
“You survive. Whatever it takes.” he turns to look at Farah, “even… even your sacrifice. Never give…up…”
Baba’s head drops. He’s gone.
Hadir stares at him for a moment longer. He gets up, “let’s go.”
They weave through the town, a murky green tinting the air. People are gasping and coughing around them, until a gunshot silences them. Hadir says it’s not fair. Farah knows.
It’s not fair, that they pass by people who get shot, and don’t get back up. It’s not fair, that she has to kill twice more, just for them to get a chance at freedom.
It’s not fair, when a man drags both of them away from it, a cruel smile on his lips as he inspects her.
It’s not fair, that she knows to recognize the malice in his eyes.
The soldiers take them to a prison. They find out she is one of those who sacrificed.
It’s not fair, she tells to the Reaper in her heart, that her sacrifice was not enough to save anyone.
She learns very quickly to hate Barkov. He learns, quicker, that his usual torture methods don’t work on her. He finds her weakness not in her own flesh, but in the flesh of the others. Hadir, in most cases. They keep the men and women separated, only allowing her to see him once every few weeks, and every time she gives them trouble, he takes the punishment. He tries to hide it, but he can’t hide his limp, or his bloodshot eyes, or the scars that keep multiplying upon his skin.
Contrasted with her flawless arms, glistening oddly in the light.
She gets into fights with her Reaper, in the earlier days. Demanding answers, for the simple question of “why?”.
Why her? Why this power, that only protects her? Why taunt her, tell her she’s under the Reaper of Might, yet show her every day how weak she is?
There are whispers among the guards, of a person by the name of “Karim”. A Commander, aiding the prisoners, attempting to contact foreign forces by transmitting messages from the inside. Barkov spends hours torturing her and the others, trying to find them. After a while, Farah notices a glint of playfulness in the wretched man’s eyes.
He knows who Karim is. He just wants to break them, annihilate the sense of fragile hope Karim gives the prisoners.
Barkov wants their spirit broken. Farah knows he will fail, because as long as any of them stand, they will not give up. For those who can't fight any longer, for those who are still with them in this hell, for Urzikstan.
They think one can uproot it from them. What they don’t know, will never understand, is that you can’t kill an idea. You can’t torture the memory of freedom out of them.
The soldiers seem on edge, mumbling in Russian about rumors of enemy forces invading Urzikstan. One of them slaps the back of her head when she stares too long.
The cycle continues - Barkov interrogates her, always keeping another prisoner in the room to torture in her place. Today it is Azadeh, younger than her by two years. Azadeh doesn’t flinch at the glint of a knife, but she screams as Barkov buries it in her thigh.
Farah’s guts burn at her wailing, at Barkov’s cocksure grin, his hand easily yanking the knife out of spasming muscles.
She breaks. Tells him she is Karim. It feels like an end.
Barkov freezes, before he pounces. Knocking her out of the chair, he covers her mouth, pinches her nose, deprives her of air.
Not many things can hurt her, but Farah still needs oxygen to live. Her wrists twitch roughly against the bindings tying her to the chair, Azadeh calls for her. Barkov snarls.
“I will not let terrorists like you ruin my country.”
My country… My country?
Urzikstan will never kneel to the likes of you.
As the edges of her vision darken, a soldier bursts into the room, his movements rushed as he informs Barkov the prison is under attack.
Barkov, always needing to have the last laugh, tells her she hasn’t saved anyone, that Karim’s role was only to doom her people, and orders his soldiers to the warehouse, to kill everyone.
Air fills her lungs as she inhales for the first time in over a minute. Barkov tells the man to take Azadeh to the warehouse, and her to solitary confinement. She gives Azadeh an encouraging nod, before they’re separated.
Karim hasn’t failed yet. As long as they’re still alive, she hasn’t failed.
Solitary is part of the older section of the building. Farah has been here enough times to know the rebar in the far corner of the cell is loose, and she herself have made sure, should the need arise, it will be easy to extract from the cracked concrete floor.
The moment the soldiers leave, she gets to work, pulling the metal with a grunt. With a few well-placed hits, Farah breaks the lock, and opens the door.
It is silent outside, in the way a graveyard is. Something sick spreads on her tongue, as she sneaks out of solitary. A few soldiers are making their way to the main cell block, to take the remaining prisoners to the warehouse, Farah assumes. The rebar feels lighter in her hands.
The first soldier she hits over the head screams as he goes down. The rest instinctively start shooting her. It doesn’t do much to stop her from caving their skulls in, besides ripping a few new holes into her clothes.
Searching the bodies yields her a key and an extra mag for one of the rifles. All of them were either empty or jammed, the frantic soldiers not recognizing her.
For them, all Urzik are the same.
Her sisters are relieved to see her approach. The gunshots scared them, fearing it was anyone but her. She opens the cell, freeing them. She uses the key to open a gun locker, and orders them to take up arms. No hesitation is visible on their faces. They all know this is an end.
Of the soldiers or theirs, it is yet to be seen.
“Our brothers have been taken to the warehouse to be executed. We are not going to let that happen.” Farah snarls, fingers aching as she grips the rifle, “are we?”
“No, Commander!” her sisters yell in unison.
Farah feels pride bubble up within her. They haven’t broken their spirit.
A series of far away explosions makes their little group flinch. Ayah asks, “who is attacking us, Commander? Are they on our side?”
“I don’t know. And as long as they distract Barkov and his dogs, it doesn’t matter. We need to move before it’s too late.”
They slam open the doors, Russian soldiers already ready at the other side. Her sisters’ aim is wobbly, the recoil more than they’ve experienced, but they have one thing the Russians don’t.
They don’t fear death anymore.
Nadia was injured in the firefight against a sniper. Ghalia has been limping since an explosion knocked her down. Darine and Azadeh are tired, they’ve been in solitary for days with little to no food or water.
They manage to hole up in the warehouse, but there’s no one there. Farah shouts for Hadir, her echo the only answer.
“Commander!” Azadeh calls, “there’s a way through here, this is must be where they are!”
Farah kicks the door open, turning right to clear the hallway, when a body slams into her from the left. She falls to the ground heavily, teeth bared as a barrel lines with her forehead. The other two soldiers aim at her sisters, Azadeh screaming in horror, “please don’t shoot!”
For a moment, Farah loses hope. Her mind supplies her with Barkov’s words.
“You haven’t saved anyone.”
In the next, the skylights shatter. Precise bullets take out the three soldiers, not a single wasted shot. Ropes are thrown through the broken windows, and men wearing gas masks repel down. One of them looks at her, “Whose Commander Karim?”
Farah huffs as she pushes a dead body off of her, “I’m Karim.”
The soldier swings his weapon to the side, “we got your message” he lifts the mask up, revealing a pale face, “Lieutenant John Price. Where are the others?”
The Lieutenant offers her a hand, and Farah grunts as he lifts her, “in there. Straight ahead.”
Price looks at the dark hallway, before turning back and lowering his mask, “stay close!”
Azadeh’s expression is uncertain when Farah stops her from following them. Wordlessly, she nods and returns to her wounded sisters’ side. They both know the path ahead is meant only for trained soldiers.
Trained soldiers, and those who cannot die to a bullet.
Farah keeps her rifle up as the soldiers and her scan the hall. Tanks with warning signs plastered on their exterior line the narrow passage way, and she doesn’t need to know Russian to know what’s inside.
“Got two!” Price warns, and takes out one of the guards. The other doesn’t waste time watching his partner go down, and before one of Price’s soldiers puts a bullet in his head, he aims and shoots Farah.
Straight shot to her heart. These guards are more skilled than the ones she fought through to get here.
Two hands clamp onto her shoulders, and Price’s wide eyes stare at her through the gas mask, “you’re not wearing armor- Karim, sit the fuck down, I saw the bullet hit you-!”
Farah frowns, following his line of sight to the hole in her shirt.
“Lieutenant-”
He holds her as if she’s about to collapse, muttering, “why are you not bleeding…”
Farah grabs his hands, and the Lieutenant’s brows shoot up.
“You’re a revenant.” his hands loosen, and drop to his side.
Farah nods, “no bullet or blade can hurt me.”
Something odd passes by Price’s eyes, but he doesn’t say anything to indicate what.
“Lieutenant, the prisoners are here! We need the breacher for the door!”
They run towards the back, and Farah slides to a stop at the scene.
In a room with large bullet-proof windows, where fire wars with the Russian’s sickly green gas, her brothers pound on the glass, their screams muffled.
They were going to watch them suffocate and burn.
She shakes out of her stupor when she notices Hadir. Slumped in the corner by a door, unmoving.
“You haven’t saved anyone.”
Farah runs to the other side of the door, where Price and his men are attempting to pry open it. They don’t have time for this.
“Stand back!” she grunts, and Price barely pulls the other soldier away before she shoots 4 bullets into the lock.
She barely manages to catch Hadir when the door slams open, her brothers running out towards fresh air. She should feel happiness, that they were fast enough to save them.
But in her arms is the still body of her brother, the one who has been through this hell with her from the beginning. The one with their mama’s eyes, and their baba’s kindness. Farah feels tears run down her face as she presses two fingers to his pulse. Nothing.
There are voices around her, speaking to her. She doesn’t hear a thing. No sound is worth hearing when her brother’s heart does not beat.
Price crouches in front of her, his mask off despite the gas filtering in from the room. His voice is gentle when he speaks, “Karim… we need to move.”
She shakes her head. It reminds her of how Hadir didn’t want to leave their house, when baba knew they had no choice. She has no choice but to leave him.
Oh, how could she leave him like this?
As the Lieutenant urges her again, as her brothers and sisters start to realize what happened, as Farah’s fingers stay on a paling wrist, she feels it.
A heartbeat.
Hadir gasps, his hands shoot up to claw at his neck frantically, and he jumps away from Farah. Everyone is watching him carefully as he catches his breath, silent and knowing.
Farah clenches her fists, failing to quell the shaking, “...why…?”
Why did you choose this over seeing mama and baba again?
Hadir turns to face her, but his eyes don’t meet hers. They’re not the blue-gray they were before, she notices. Green, like the gas that killed him.
“You survive, whatever it takes. Never give up.” Hadir repeats their baba’s last words. “Not even death will come between us, sister. Not anymore.”
“May your soul find rest.” she says, and her brothers and sisters murmur it with her. Hadir then lifts his gaze, and he gives her a sad smile.
Price and his soldiers stand back, looking properly shaken by seeing a dead man return. For them it is an anomaly.
In Urzikstan, they all know what a sacrifice looks like.
Farah gives herself a moment more to mourn Hadir, mourn the peace he refused to receive in death.
She gets up, grips her rifle, and orders her people, “collect survivors and supplies. We’re leaving.”
“Sister.”
She stops cleaning her knife for a moment, acknowledging Hadir’s presence with a nod, before continuing, “any sign of Barkov?”
Hadir drags a chair to sit in front of her, “no, we’re secure here. The Lieutenant cleared the area well.” he watches her hands work on the sharpening metal, “I… I wanted to tell you about my powers.”
Her hand freezes. “Immunity to the gas. I know.”
“No.”
Farah opens her mouth to question him, but when she looks up at Hadir…
Mist flows from his eyes and nose, pouring down his features. Green, toxic, smells of chemicals and death.
When he speaks, more gas flows from his mouth, “I’m not only immune, sister. I can create it.” fear paints his words.
“Enough.” she orders, though to her ears it sounds more like begging. Hadir stops using his power all the same, and it is with shame that he looks at the thin level of gas coating the floor of the run-down room.
Farah puts the knife and whetstone away, and hugs Hadir. He presses closer, and she feels his body tremble with silent sobs.
“You will not use this power. We do not need weapons of the enemy to win this war.” Her brother may be doomed, cursed forever to bear the gas within him, but it does not mean he needs to continue Barkov’s legacy.
Hadir doesn’t respond for a while, but when he pulls back, he nods. “Yes, Commander Karim.” he says, pride in the title. “What are your orders to our brothers and sisters?”
Farah sheaths the knife, her voice strong and clear, “Barkov must’ve had more prisons. It’s time we find more hands to help our cause.”
Alex Keller is… odd.
He had a surface level knowledge of the situation in Urzikstan when he arrived. Not from a tactical standpoint - CIA doesn’t let details like those escape them, of course. But from a human’s, and perhaps a revenant’s, it was clear Alex was not used to seeing such disgusting levels of violence unhidden for all to see. Barkov doesn’t need to hide it. America already knows.
The world already knows.
Keller’s abilities as a revenant proved advantageous from the very first mission they had. Infiltrating has never been easier, with a man able to become invisible to the naked eye. Later on he has told her of his weaknesses, that his form is still corporal even when see-through, and that electronic optics are able to catch traces of him. His honesty doesn’t go unnoticed, and Farah appreciates the trust he puts in her.
Hadir didn’t trust him at first. Despite his relation to Captain Price, he was wary of the American. It didn’t matter much to Farah, as long as they were amicable enough to work together, but seeing Hadir slowly let his guard down over the weeks was a moment of happiness in her days.
It helps most in days when Hadir seems distant, when a fog she can only call a thirst for revenge clouds his eyes. It feels like the times she has to fight against his violent suggestions double every new mission.
Something is brewing in his mind, she can tell. Hadir doesn’t want to share it with her.
At least Alex doesn’t push back against her orders with no good reason…
They’re on ground now, Alex using Hadir’s Sniper to scope the Highway of Death, and Farah spotting for him. They’re waiting for forces of Al-Mudahiyn, The Sacrificers, to pass through.
Al-Mudahiyn and the ULF used to be one and the same, until they weren’t. They share the goal of liberation, but where the ULF chooses to prioritize the safety of the people of Urzikstan, The Sacrificers choose the retribution on the Russians to be theirs.
Liberation will not be achieved peacefully, Farah knows that. But revenge won’t bring it either, and as much as she would hate it if it were to happen, if she had the choice to free her country but let her oppressors walk away unharmed, she would. She is sick of seeing her brothers and sisters die, and sacrifice, and bow their heads to men who see them as lesser.
In that, Al-Mudahiyn and her disagree. The militia focuses its powers on creating chaos among the Russian’s ranks, within Russia itself, and anywhere where its sympathizers live. And while they both deal in violence, Farah cannot agree to it being the objective.
It is a tool. One she will wield only as long as her enemy does.
The SAS and CIA have begun to retaliate against Al-Mudahiyn, as has Barkov, their actions too flashy to ignore. Stealing several containers of Russian experimental gas was the last nail in the coffin.
The ULF along with Captain Price’s team decided to work together to stop them.
“One vehicle approaching from the east!”
On her mark, Alex takes down the two snipers that attempted to set up on the roof. Killing them is a calculated risk; it could alert their target and cause them to change course, but leaving them alive could’ve risked Hadir and his team, who are nearer to the road.
Two fighters from Hadir’s team take the truck and park it in the middle of the highway as a makeshift blockade. She watches as they rig it up with explosives, and orders them to wait for her signal.
Their target, as do many in The Sacrificers’ ranks, is a revenant. According to Alex’s sources in the CIA, they’re just a Revenant of Flesh. Their healing powers could save them from some injuries, but an explosion should kill them.
And if the explosion doesn’t do them in, bullets will.
They were ready for an ambush. Armored trucks, snipers, mortar teams.
“We need help! Where is Captain Price?!” Farah shouts as she fires on a few fighters making their way through the ruined house they’ve taken cover in. Alex pops up to shoot as well, but she pushes him behind her when a few bullets hit too close for comfort.
Her clothes are riddled with holes.
Hadir shouts from the rooftop beside theirs, “we cannot wait! I’ve got more firepower in the truck!” an explosion shakes the foundations of the house, “Alex! Follow me!”
Alex looks back at her, and she nods. Hadir’s intuition never failed them, his habit of preparing for the worst saved operations more than once. He’s not her second-in-command just because of their blood relation, she trusts him more than anyone else.
That is why, when green, toxic gas started covering the abandoned village rapidly, Farah didn’t dare think it was him. Hadir wouldn’t do that, he promised her.
She hears him shout to Alex that there are gas masks in the bunker. It should’ve tipped her off. It didn’t.
Coughing horribly, she ran towards the bunker, her steps unsteady as the gas coats her lungs. She has never forgotten the way it claws down her throat, burning, seizing her muscles.
Alex comes into view just as Farah’s vision begins to fade, and the last words she hears singe worse than any chemical could.
“H-Hadir… You’re… a revenant?”
When she comes to, it’s to the smell of dust. Her throat still burns, but as she coughs, she feels clean air filter through her nose. Farah blinks her eyes open, to see Hadir equip a gas mask on Alex’s face. He notices her eyes following his movements.
“Sister…” Hadir leaves Alex to approach her, his arms open. Before, she would’ve taken comfort to see he is not injured.
Now, all she sees is anger. Green, sickly, violent anger.
Farah pushes him away, but she is weakened, so his arms don’t leave hers, “how could you do this?!”
He tries to placate her. It makes her shake with exertion to get away. “I had no choice, Farah! I-”
“No. Not like this.” her eyes roll back, and before she loses consciousness again, she mumbles, “you promised…”
“-Farah!… Alex!”
She grunts. Her arms feel weighted when she pushes the dusty gas mask up and off her face. Alex does the same, trying to get up on his feet and failing.
Price’s voice invades her mind, and she winces. It is an unfamiliar feeling, still. “You’re alright, Farah. You’re alright.”
Still unused to the powers, she chooses to speak, “where is he…? Where is he?!”
Price finally reaches them, helping Farah get up, only for her to push off to rush out the crooked door, “he’s gone, Farah…”
She snarls. How dare he run, how could he leave- “no… Hadir… HADIR!!!”
“Farah!” Price follows her, catching her when she stumbles on the steps outdoors, “Farah, stop! Stop, he’s gone!”
Her fists clench on dry earth and she screams. Coward, liar, monster. No curse is bad enough to describe that fucking dog.
She feels Price wrap an arm around her, not to support, but to comfort. It reminds her why they’re here in the first place.
“There is no thief.” she tilts her head up, staring at Price’s blue-gray eyes. His brows knit in confusion, and she continues, “he created the gas. I’m sorry, Captain, I didn’t know, I didn’t know…”
She feels Price pull images from her memories. She lets him.
The Captain looks through her interactions with Hadir for the past few weeks. At first, Farah thinks he doesn’t believe her word, but Price relays to her that he’s not doing it for himself.
He’s proving her she’s not at fault.
“There’s no way you could’ve known, Farah.” he says out loud.
Alex joins him behind them, leaning on another soldier, “it’s okay, Farah. We’ll get him.”
She wants to bristle at those almost meaningless comforting gestures, but the look in Alex’s eyes is pleading her to let it go, for now.
Price helps her up again, shouting to Alex, “we need to un-ass this target- NOW!”
As they board the helicopter, Farah looks down.
Corpses line the desolate streets, no bird dares to sing at the sight. Both Al-Mudahiyn and ULF fighters lay still, eyes bulging and throat scratched raw. She grits her teeth, but her eyes don’t stray from the sight, even as the aircraft rises to the air.
Alex places a hand on her shoulder after a while, a questioning hum following.
She shakes her head, and with it his hand.
A voice that has haunted her for the last two decades drifts closer to her, whispering into her ears a sentence she hates to acknowledge has never been wrong.
“You haven’t saved anyone.”
At twenty-seven, Farah Ahmed Karim has lost the last remaining blood relative she had. There was no one left to mourn, except her.
In a dusty helicopter, with the smell of noxious gas still in her every breath, Farah promised to find him, the walking corpse of her brother, and stop him before he drags more of them down.
And unlike the man who once was her brother, Farah keeps her promises.
#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod mw2#cod farah#cod alex#cod price#farah karim#hadir karim#alex keller#john price#revenant au#call of duty fic#call of duty fanfic#call of duty modern warfare#cod fic#cod fanfic#farah.... <3333#her story makes me so fucking sad every time#i cant see the cutscenes from mw2019 without tearing up#shes my fave character from base game bc shes just so complex#doomed to be in an american military propaganda game...#i decided to change AQ since they havent been mentioned in part 1#and i dont really like how theyre handled in canon#like... russia is the one occupying urzikstan but AQ operates in europe and decided to do what they did in piccadilly circus#but the brits supposedly arent aiding barkov/makarov and are actually against them??#but they cant show americans/brits conquering and violently occupying countries bc cmon guys america doesnt do that its only russia \s#also AQ literally translates to 'the killers' and im sorry but thats... not it#you cant really have nuance with a group called 'the killers'#sorry i just hate when the american military propaganda game propagandas#i hope i managed to make Al-Mudahiyn more... sypmathetic? maybe?#like you could understand more why ppl from the ULF would choose to be part of Al-Mudahiyn... rather than fuckin AQ
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I want to go back to bed but I'm being Responsibility Girl and getting my car looked at (AGAIN)
#rosie rambles 🌹#HOPEFULLY this is the last time she needs to be lookwd at before i can finally get her fixed#if we can manage to get this shit done before the new year i'll be so fucking happy#i might not even have to borrow money from my parents again to pay for it if i'm lucky#and then i can put this all behind me and rest easy for a while#yippeeeeeee#fr i'm so tired though i hate having to run errands and do chores on my day off why can't i just sleep for 24 hours
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for modern AU fics - what chinese media did diaspora consume?
making this post because some of us in the diaspora server were having a chat about what Chinese media "Diaspora Chinese" watched in the 90's - 2000's (and even sooner than that) while not having access to satellite chinese media or streaming services - this is in the context of writing modern AU fics based off Chinese media/novels (so your main character's grandpa or uncle is not, in fact, watching an episode of Friends or Shortland Street or something as flavour text because sorry what the hell-)
We generally watched a lot of stuff on VCDs, including bootlegged and non-bootlegged movies, shows, anime/donghua. My household had a whole VCD album of this, and a lot of VCDs (even if they were pirated editions) would have a fancy hardcover box with a magnetic clasp and some artwork representing the show on it.
All of this is Mandarin - so not TVB stuff, because I'm from Northern China and I don't know any cantonese - but Canto friends, please feel free to add to the list! This is mostly stuff my parents liked to watch, or I liked to watch with them, with the exception of a few which I mainly watched with friends/cousins when I was maybe (in most cases) eleven/twelve years old onwards. This is a pretty personal list, meant to give people general idea of a possible "ballpark" of sorts, and by no means exhaustive.
Now, for the list of shows which I can confirm I had or someone I know had on VCD or some kind of offline media format lol (I'll try add release year stamps and links to the EN wikipedia where possible):
Period dramas (mostly Qing Dynasty stuff):
Huan Zhu Gege 还珠格格 (1998, April-) This is a classic, so many memes come from this show; hugely popular series, basically cemented Zhang Tie Lin's face as the face of the Qing Emperor for about a decade. Tie Chi Tong Ya Ji Xiao Lan 铁齿铜牙纪晓岚 (2002-2010) - I loved this show as a kid and watched all four seasons on repeat with family... The "trio" in this show are well known and loved.
Amazing Detective Di Ren Jie / 神探狄仁杰 (2004) A very popular and addictive show. Ok now the Big Four:
Romance of 3 kingdoms 1994 / 三国演义 (1994) - a classic that has had many remakes, my older cousin would play this on repeat...
Hong Lou Meng/红楼梦 (1987) - another classic with many remakes, but I think the most recognised by the public one is the 1987 one.
Journey to the West / 西游记 live action (1986) - I think the 1986 version of the live action is the most recognised one. *Shui Hu Zhuan / 水浒传 (1998) - I am not too familliar with the live action of this one in my household tbh bc my mum doesn't like it lol (she keeps saying it's too depressing) but I'm sure it's up there with the rest of the big four, if anyone has an opinion on this one please let me know!
Modern setting shows:
My dad loved all the Sun Honglei (孙红雷 - actor name) stuff, iirc it was a lot of MinGuo period espionage stuff, your shanghai 1920's sxc aesthetic. This actor has been around since 1999? Qian Fu (潜伏)was very famous, and Ren Jian Zheng Dao Shi Cang Sang (人间正道是沧桑)。 These were around '08 and '09.
Chuang Guan Dong - 闯关东 (2008) (Baidu link, sorry - couldn't get an EN wikipedia one). This show was huge when it was airing, everyone was watching it. I was pretty young but even I watched it and got invested ... and I thought it was such an "old person" show at the time lmao. Xiao Bing Zhang Ga / 小兵张嘎 (2004) (sorry, again Baidu link) - yo, anti-japanese war movies set between 1937-1945 were crazy popular - this is one of them and was very popular):
Donghua/Anime (all the stuff kid me watched and some which I didn't but were popular):
喜羊羊与灰太狼 (2005-) Calabash Brothers / 葫芦兄弟 (1986-1987) Black Cat Detective / Hei Mao Jing Zhang 黑猫警长 (1984-2010) Lan Mao Tao Qi 3000 Wen 蓝蓝猫淘气3000问 AKA 蓝猫 (blue cat) (October 1999 - Present) Legend of Ne Zha 哪吒传奇 (2003) Journey to the West/Xi You Ji 西游记 This was truly the Donghua I grew up on from when I was a bb, the OP song and ED song are classic bangers all kids know. Slam Dunk/ 灌篮高手 - People truly watched a lot of anime that may or may not have been terribly dubbed into mando (possibly canto too). Late 80s and 90s kids were all over this, and Dragon Ball, Crayon Shinchan (labixiaoxin).
Taiwanese Dramas:
This is mid-late 2000's, I would be remiss to not talk about the Taiwanese dramas of this era. Mike He, Rainie Yang, Wu Zun (amongst many, many others) were huge. Stuff like Dou Niu Yao Bu Yao, it started with a kiss, Hua Yang Shao Nv (Taiwanese version of Hana Kimi) were all pretty popular. Not sure if these shows all hold up in 2023, but boy were they popular at the time.
Note about CNY:
For CNY, people would try to tune into 春节联欢晚会 (the CCTV official CNY show) at that One Friend Who Had China Satellite TV's house. Zhao Ben Shan / 赵本山 was a comedy staple, and the show would often feature people from the music industry to perform. Eventually these people became more and more relevant to my gen and Jay Chou etc started appearing.
Last but not least Xian Jiaaaan 仙剑:
In 2005 I was all over 仙剑奇侠传 (Chinese Paladin), based off the video game. This show was crazy popular and probably sent me and a whole lot of other kids into Xianxia / Wuxia hell (and Hu Ge hell, and later I came back to love Liu Yifei). Thank you. The OST is a true banger.
#cnovel#mdzs#cdrama#chinese diaspora#danmei#not a lot of jinyong wuxia shows here so people who have opinions please chime in!#whew that was more than i thought#music could do with another post#but i dont know too much about my dads music i was just a 2000s cpop nerd#also this doesnt cover movies either#please no lan qiren watching friends#this breaks me out of my immersion immediately unless there was a specific reason why shufu is watching friends#not even sure how to tag this#late 2000s you could pretty much stream and download stuff i think i did that for bbjx when it came out#even tho my parents hated The Internet i managed#feel free to add more to this in a post or tags or whatever
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haikyu's dumpster batte is only going to be around 1 hour and 24 minutes, oh it's genuinely bokuakaover
#knowing that we're likely not going to get an ova too is painful <//3#m sorry to go off on a bit of a tangent#but I can't help but feel bitter that an actually good series with coherence and amazing characters just gets treated like this#and series like jjk and demon slayer get to have such good adaptations?#I don't hate both series btw as I watch them myself but even I have more criticisms in their story and charas compared to hq#jjk at this rate is being carried by satosugu shippers and popularity the story honestly is slowly losing substance :'DD#and it's disappointing such a series manages to get to have a consistent adaptation vs a good and inspiring story#which is why I can't help but feel <//3 whenever ppl rant about the jjk animation cause it's better than the hq treatment TvT#don't get me started on demon slayer I have mixed feelings about that series as well but I love it for what it's worth xD#and if people say the hq fandom is being bitter or biased isn't it justifiable?#a consistent and amazing narrative gets butchered me thinks people have a right to feel the way they do#naturally the fandom is not downplaying the efforts of the animators and voice actors but we also have a right to feel the way we do#we feel the way we do out of genuine love for a series that inspired and helped us so much#it's just so unfair TvT#m terribly sorry again for ranting and dropping negativity but I feel really disheartened about this news#and not simply cause ofc we won't get the bokuaka match#but also because my favorite series doesn't deserve this#eli rambles#bokuaka#haikyu#haikyuu#haikyu!!#hq
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THERES ONLY 20 PJO FICS ON AO3 WITH GOOD PARENT ZEUS TAGGED AND MOST OF THEM ARE CROSSOVERS OR PERPOLLO
#*sobs* I DONT WANNA SEE HARRY POTTER AS A SON OF ZEUS#I HATE HARRY POTTER CROSSOVERS *SOBS*#And i just dont really ship Perpollo#I read one reading the books fic with Perpollo and it turned me off the entire ship cus they kept bashing Annabeth but then accidentally -#managed to make Apollo look like a possessive creep towards Percy#and the remaining ones either have a ship I dont like or ive read it already#*SOBBING*#THERE IS MORE FICS WITH GABE IN THEM#pjo zeus#Zeus pjo#pjo#percy jackson#percy Jackson and the Olympians#in myth he has like some good moments with his kids!#If you ignore Ares...#...And orphic myth with Persephone#Seriously tho why does he hate Ares so much? What did my guy do?
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"I think I could beat Cayde in The Crucible."
A few days later...
Him:"Aaaaaaand apparently I'm against Cayde...Not gonna lie though. I do like my odds here." 😏
Me:"Never bet against me."
The results:
Now,this score normally wouldn't be anything to write home Tumblr about,but the situation in and of itself is (to me. I think this is hilarious and wanted to share.)
Technically,his score is lower than that because two of those defeats were because of my own hubris. I got cocky and was bounding around the map and bounded off of the ledge twice,which,if you think about it,was pretty on brand.
He spent the majority of the second half of the round hiding in his little bubble repeatedly asking where I was. My answer?
"I'm with you, kiddo. Your Light,is my Light. You're my favorite... don't ever forget that." promptly followed by me absolutely smoking him and winning the game.
I strike fear into this Titan's heart and the best part is,he forgets that fear the second we step out of the Crucible.
#baede-6#Dude has a big ego so he'd 100% deny this ever happened.#Now I by no means claim to be good at Crucible. He however brags about it.#How's that humble pie taste?#Side note:I was listening to the Forsaken soundtrack the entire time.#You can't even beat me dressed as Cayde and you thought you could beat Cayde-6?#That is...that is some CONFIDENCE right there.#This was entertaining as and I think I needed it.#“Why do I feel like I'm going to be ambushed?!?”#“WHERE THE H*** DID YOU COME FROM?!?”#“I know we can't get up high in here but it's you so I wouldn't be surprised if you somehow managed and I keep looking up.”#“I f****”* HATE that super.“ to be fair he hates all of my supers when they're turned against him but loves it when I use them against bbeg#“I don't want to be your favorite anymore Cayde!!!!”#“I should learn by now that you're going to ambush me. You're a Hunter all the way through and I should learn. But do I? No.”#“I'm going to get ambushed I can feel it. I'm going to get ambush-”#“WHERE.THE.EVER.LOVING.F***.ARE.YOU?”#destiny#destiny 2#destiny the game#personal baede 6 business#cayde-6#baede-6 screenshots#“I think I could beat Cayde in the Crucible part two: Electric Boogaloo.#Give him a hand though because that floof is on point.👏👏👏#The map was on Io so I feel like Ikora was rooting me on.
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth 💔#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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Forgive me, forgive me. I ask, I beg, I pray, but it never comes.
You know I find it incredibly bewildering to see just how much kalki reflects myself in him like YEAH Duh of course he does, he’s my little guy it’s like his full time job. But at the same time he is a fully functional facet of my being and he is at the mercy of my whimsies, and whatever he discovers in his arduous journey of self realisation is ultimately a reflection of what I discover in the real world. It’s also incredibly funny because ffxiv lore for dark knights is really baked into the idea of (re)discovering yourself amongst the bloodshed and continuing to live and love and thrive despite the world working against us. who would have thought such a raw message could come from an mmorpg side quest about edgy emo boys of all places
also adamantite armour of fending i would lay down my LIFE for u
variant + phone bg version + ID below the cut
tch as if you guys are actually going to use artwork of my little guy as your phone background. i know. how dumb. let a girl dream. i should make an alternate version but it's of Fray and Myste
[START ID: A picture with a red background focusing on the character's bust that is placed to the left of the image's centre. He is coloured with a dark blue overlay, contrasting with the red background. He has brown skin, long black hair that falls over his shoulders, and is wearing blue and gold armour and earrings. He is looking at the viewer, right eye dark brown and the left an glowing unnatural red, with an expression that looks determined and angry and yet bitter and forlorn. In the foreground and on the right side of the piece, a miniature version of the character stands coloured in a light blue overlay and wearing the same blue and gold armour, looking as if he is glowing. He is facing towards the left of the piece, or perhaps at the character bust, his expression unreadable. Above the miniature character's head is the symbol representing the FFXIV dark knight, coloured in gold. END ID.]
#the burst of creativity that shot through me is indescribable. i can only hope this is a sign that i am FINALLY out of art block#but OF COURSE my creativity comes back right when gamsat is around the corner. it's always a fucking exam. i fucking hate myself#maybe this piece is supposed to be vent art at how I CANNOT MANAGE MY SHIT AND I AM JUST. NOT DOING THINGS RIGHT. NOT DOING THINGS RIGHT !!#and i tell myself it's fine but maybe it's NOT fine? i told myself i'd work on it but nothing is getting worked on#nothing productive at all. not even for uni nor for myself. nothing is happening at all. it's just going through the days#waking up. wishing i'd slept more. stare at my laptop for hours. youtube. watch 10mins of lectures. then a nap. then the laptop. then sleep#but i dont and it pisses me off because nothing is working. i'm like if linguini lost his rat and i'm staring at the kitchen catching fire#maybe go to class if it's on for that day. scrambling notes together. pretending i DO have my shit together#i COULD put out the fire. but i'm not. i could and i can but im not. the extinguisher is in my hand. fire's not going out. i'm still here.#maybe. maybe that's why drk resonates with me so much. at the end of the day. maybe i am just a stupid bastard#-who can't get their act together. who actively shoots themselves in the foot and bleeds all over the place trying to make something happen#only this time- this time the perpetrator isn't someone i can point at and demand answers from. it's me hi i'm the problem it's me#and i can- i SHOULD find a way to make this all work. to make this whole Living My Life business work. but the extinguisher's in my hand#wow okay that was really heavy anyway uhhhhh TAGS TAGS TAGS TAGSSSSS#ffxiv#ff14#ffxivwol#ffxiv wol kalki#ffxiv dark knight#artoftheagni#and the fire keeps going#tw eyestrain#cw bright colors#idk the red is really bright and it;s nice for my eyes but idk for anyone else
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i love my husband but im gonna murder him if he defers moving out of nyc for one more goddamn month
#we were supposed to leave in AUGUST!!!!#it is DECEMBER!!!#our last move date was jan 25 2025 and guess who wants to stay in nyc until the end of feb?? JUST GUESS#HINT: ITS NOT ME!!!#im so angry#why can't we get out of here#this is an expensive hellhole#our management co doesn't do shit and we keep getting pests and they won't do repairs#and there's no fucking jobs and groceries cost an arm and a leg and we can't afford to pay my medical bills cause of all the money#we have to spend on rent and food and we can't travel and we can't raise a baby here- we can't even get a second cat!- and i just#i'm done#i'm so done#he keeps saying how excited he is to finish his phd and move on with our lives and here we are. still not done with the phd almost SEVEN#years into a FIVE YEAR PROGRAM#not moving on with our lives in the slightest#now his mother wants to pay our rent because his school isn't gonna pay him anymore to do his phd since it's gone on so long#and i dont WANT her charity i dont WANT to rely on her for ANYTHING#especially because of how she's treated me in the past#but i have no choice if we're staying here another month or two!! fuck!!#i hate it here i hate it im gonna walk into the fucking ocean
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