#why do i deal with this. like spending time w them is sometimes fun but it is nott worth this i think. hi whats wrong w them

[retroaria]

Domestic Life w/ Osamu Dazai ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊

• ───────── ·𖥸· ───────── •

summary: life with agency!dazai, days off, date nights, the whole shabang!

warnings: slightly suggestive at some points (not sure if MDNI is necessary but keep it in mind) NOT SAD AND MISERABLE CANON DAZAI!!! Pretend he is happy and joyous for this, why would he want to die when he has you? Not proofread!!

BSD M.LIST | enjoy 🐈 - aria

• ───────── ·𖥸· ───────── •

The days where Dazai can fully devote himself to you are unfortunately far and few. On top of that, he’s a rather forgetful man. He saves all his reports for the last minute, needing to finish them up while everyone else is already gone (or spend just as much time begging Atsushi to do them for him). He makes plans, promises, deals, all of which take up his time aside from the usual agency agenda.

You know that Dazai loves what he does, so you put up with it. At the very least he still comes home almost every night, flops himself down on the bed and wraps his arms tight around you. And he’ll still be there in the morning. flashing you a warm smile as you wake up to see him adjusting the collar of his suit, throwing his jacket over his shoulder before planting a soft kiss to your lips and heading out the door. The purely intimate moments you get to experience together always happen in the dead of night or at the crack of dawn.

Aside from that, as well as all the work related events Dazai brings you to, his days off don’t come often. Whenever the stars align and those days do happen to fall upon you, you know immediately as you wake up in the morning. He’s still wrapped around you, arms and legs, almost in a death grip. He would’ve left for work by now if he had too, not that he hasn’t slept in late before, but his suit is still sprawled on the floor of your room. He hadn’t taken the time to wash it or hang it back up because he wouldn’t be needing it the next day.

• ───────── ·𖥸· ───────── •

These days begin with an absolute power struggle in the bedroom (not the fun kind). This man will not wake up and will not let you out of bed. He will whine and groan and sometimes even shed tears at the fact that you would ever want to leave him when he finally can spend a morning with you. “Dazai we still have stuff to do today, you can just hold me captive.”

“Do you hate me Bella, is that it? Has our love truly dwindled? I finally have the chance to engulf you in my affection and you want no part of it.” He’ll give you a full Shakespearean style monologue about how cruel it is that you would deny his neediness.

“Oh my god Osamu, you are so dramatic”

Eventually you do escape his grasp and leave the bedroom to start the day, to which he must follow suit. These days are spent with Dazai following you around like a lost puppy.

He follows you to the bathroom, you guys get ready together, he sits on the toilet while you shower, talking to you through the curtain about all the recent agency drama, casually mentioning all the times he’s almost died in the last week alone. (He’s also sneaking peaks of you, slyly pulling the curtain back when you won’t notice)

On days where the two of you get to go out you always let him pick your outfit. Dazai’s list of skills typically pertain to crime and manipulation, but style and fashion is somewhere in there too. He’s usually wearing simple jeans and a crew neck, but he wants you to look like a runway model next to him. “Gosh you look beautiful, gonna make me look like the luckiest guy in the world standing next to you!” he gushes in a sing-song tone.

The first order of business is breakfast, a task which Dazai wants desperately to help you with, but always fails miserably. You opt to let him make coffee for you two, which he adorns with an ungodly amount of sugar and creamer. you’ve been drinking Dazais coffee for so long you’ve grown to like it. It’s like a sweet treat with breakfast, nothing you could complain about. If he gets his hands on a frying pan you’re truly doomed, so this is the one thing you let him have. He can handle the toaster too so he’ll make toast for you guys with jam on it that he spreads on in the shape of a heart with a smiley face in the middle “Dona’ look, can you tell what it is?” he says with a smirk of confidence on his face.

“Very sweet Osamu, your hearts are getting better and better” You can’t actually tell what it is but you know he does the same thing every time. You grab the toast from him and plant a kiss on his cheek, it’s like his reward.

One of Dazai’s favorite things in the world is going to the grocery store with you. It’s such a simple task, that always ends up being so much fun. He relishes in the domesticity of it. It feels almost intimate in a way, it’s something you both would have to do if you were apart, but you’re together, so you do it together for the both of you. He loves being reminded that you are a part of his life in every way.

But god is he troublesome

Dazai is the kind of person to stay at the sample stand and talk to the employee for forever. After about 10 minutes he knows their geographical lineage, their favorite flavor of ice cream, their mother’s maiden name, the name of the high school they went to, the name of their first love, but then he gets bored and moves on. Btw he ate the whole tray of samples while he was talking to them, but made sure to swipe one for you before he bounced. “Don’t think I forgot about you darling” he’d wink as he hands you the cup.

Once you guys get everything you need you head back home. Dazai is a gentleman and is obviously carrying all the heavy bags, but not without complaining. “I don’t remember us getting 3 tons of milk”

“I have the milk, that’s the bag with the 10lb rice”

“I don’t remember us getting 3 tons of rice either.”

When the two of you get home he acts like he just got back from a 12 hour shift, like he’s been fighting an enemy organization all the day, like he’s been strategizing with Ranpo for hours, like he just had to get rescued by Chuuya. He helps you put the groceries away and throws himself onto the couch.

Once he notices you’ve start cooking he returns from his corpse like state on the couch and peaks over at you. He likes watching you cook because you look so focused yet so relaxed at the same time (I’m sorry if you don’t like to cook oops) . He likes to try and read your mind whenever he watches you do things.

Eventually he’ll get up and walk over to the record player in your living room. As you’re chopping away you notice the feint sound of a jazzy tune ringing away behind you, before you can turn around to see the source there is a pair of hands on your hips, swaying you from side to side. “Osamu, I have a knife in my hand”

“That’s never stopped me from anything before in my entire life” he hums away, pushing his body up against yours as he lays his head in the crook of your neck. You guys stay like that as you continue to cook, him humming into your shoulder, planting soft kisses as you simply sway to and forth.

“This is really nice, but I’m about to start chopping onions.” You lied, you were already chopping them.

“Augh god, my eyes! Why would you ruin the moment!?”

“I have to make dinner ‘samu!”

After dinner you guys both enter a corpse like state on the couch, snuggled together, either watching a movie or a parallel play type thing, usually both of you reading your respective books. During this time Dazai can be rather clingy, wanting to literally lay on top of you or have you lay on top of him. He also needs to get your opinion on whatever is happening in the movie or this crazy new suicide method he saw in his book (it’s a novelty interest now, how could he want to die when he has you!)

As bed time approaches, Dazai gets into the shower and it’s your turn to sit in the bathroom with him and tell him about all of your own work drama. Unlike Dazai, your peaks behind the curtain aren’t very sly “hey I see you~” he’d say in a teasing tone.

When the two of you finally get into bed, a wave of sadness washes over Dazai. He is unpleasantly reminded that he has to go to work tomorrow. His little life with you would end once morning came and he’d go back to having to use 100% of his brain power to focus on anything but you. He dreaded the thought and all he can do now to eleviate the pain is pull you close beside him. He plants a million kisses on your face before pulling your lips against his into a deeper kiss that usually lasts until both of you are tired and slightly out of breath.

At this point you begin to drift off to sleep in each others arms. You awaken the next morning to Dazai flashing you a warm smile as he adjusts the collar of his suit, throwing his jacket over his shoulder before planting a soft kiss to your lips and heading out the door.

• ───────── ·𖥸· ───────── •

I FINALLY wrote something for my husband Dazai. I hope you guys enjoy and I can’t wait to keep writing I’m having so much fun here!! Stay safe guys and much love 🤍🤍🤍 -aria

• ───────── ·𖥸· ───────── •

[adventuringblind]

Hi!

can you do a fic w/ Oscar where the reader is a PhD student so they can’t really go to any of the races so fans online are DRAGGING her by saying she’s a bad gf, Oscar should cheat on her, and she doesn’t deserve him etc. Maybe she has like an identity crisis at a race and is questioning everything so Oscar is there to comfort and reassure her?

I’m sorry this is very long!

also I love your writing :)

The Psychology of Fans

Oscar Piastri x Reader

Genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, angst if you squint

Request: omg I love this idea, specifically because I am a student. Also send me ideas plz 🙏. I don't think y'all understand the excitement it brings me to make something that you enjoy :)

Summary: it's a busy time in readers life working on her PhD in psychology. She wants to support Oscar as much as possible but is struggling to find the time. The fans take notice of her lack of presence and start tearing her down because of it.

Warnings: Toxic fans, panic attacks

Notes: written in third person. This one was challenging, but fun to write!

Masterlist

Everything had been going amazing for the couple. She was starting her PhD in psychology, and Oscar had signed with McLaren for a seat. They were ecstatic for eachother.

They had their own dynamic that worked for them. Spending time together when they could but being patient with the other if things didn't go to plan.

When they started dating, she had requested that her socials and information remain private. She didn't care if people knew they were dating. She just didn't want to deal with the fans and media while she was deep in her studies.

Things between them were great. Oscar tried to keep things as private as he could. It was simple during his formula 2 career when they started dating. There weren’t as many people watching his every step.

His fan base grew exponentially as soon as he signed with McLaren. All the sudden people were everywhere asking for pictures and autographs. All the while, people were asking about his dating life. They were asking questions about her.

When the Australian Grand Prix came around, she made sure she was there to see it. She wanted to support Oscar and his first formula 1 race. It was an exciting moment for him and you wanted to share it together.

The cameras and fans were relentless and ridiculous, in her opinion. Their was never a moment of peace since they wanted to know everything about Oscar and his guest.

After everything was said and done, the fans took nicely to her and Oscar. It was relieving for both of you. It gave the press team less to worry about. Not that either would have cared, but it was nice knowing he wouldn’t had to hear about it in meetings.

School had started picking up the pace. McLaren was struggling this season. It left both of them stressed and longing for each other. She wanted to support him more then what she was but her schedule didn’t allow for it.

Sometimes she would travel with Oscar but didn’t go to the track. It was a small gesture that he appreciated. He didn’t care where she was as long as she was cheering for him.

The fans had taken notice of her lack of attendance. Coming up with their own assumptions about why she wasn’t there. Calling her names that were untrue and hurtful

“Oscar deserves better.”

“Bet she just wants a top driver.”

“Maybe she has other guys when he’s gone.”

It was driving her insane. She knew it shouldn’t get under her skin, but it did. Oscar did deserve someone who could support him full time. Who cheered him on at every race. It was causing her more stress then she could manage.

She decided not to tell Oscar. The idea of burdening him anymore made her feel sick.

~

It was now the British Grand Prix and she had decided to go and support Oscar despite the work that was piling up on her plate. He had gotten new upgrades on his car and she was saying prayers that they worked.

She practically fell over when he finished fourth. Screaming in joy for the Australian who had been working so hard.

It was on their way out that everything seemed to fall apart.

Fans wanted pictures and the cameras were still in his face. He tried to shied the girl beside him from it, pulling into his side while he walked. It was then he heard what they were saying. Heat rising to his face.

“If you’re not going to say something nice then let us through please.” Oscar pushed past everyone and forced his way to their car.

He held her close that night and reassured her that they were spewing lies. This if they were acting like that then they weren’t real fans.

~

Oscar was shocked when she came to the Hungarian Grand Prix. He knew she was stressed about school. He saw the dark circles under her eyes. But she is absolutely determined.

Peoples criticism was getting worse by the day. Oscar had started to catch on since his PR team was now bringing it up but he didn’t want to push her.

It was the end of qualifying. Another success from Oscar. A success she didn’t get to see despite all her best efforts.

The thought of what everyone was saying ran wild in her head. An interaction with a few fans left her devastated. They were saying she was only here now because Oscar is doing well. How she should support him through it all. How he could do better then her. How he deserved more.

She was sobbing now. Her mind screaming insecurities. Her breath uneven and her hands clutching her head as she tried to block out the voices.

Oscar had been looking for her after the press conference. He wanted nothing more then to hold her in his arms and celebrate his achievement. He’d been looking for ten minutes with no sign of her.

He tried calling and texting, but had yet to receive an answer. Worry started to settle in his chest. His efforts now expedited only to run right into Lando.

“Have you seen y/n anywhere?” Oscar asks the Brit.

Lando, however, was out of breath. He had run around trying to find Oscar for a few minutes. “I heard her in your driver room. She sounds awful mate.”

Oscar didn’t waste a second moving in that direction. He felt a bit stupid for not having checked there first.

It didn’t take him long until he was swinging open the door to reveal her curled up on the floor. Her hands over her ears and body shaking.

He crouches down next to her. Slowly so he doesn’t scare her.

Sue didn't notice his presence. She couldn't even see her surroundings. Everything was going dark and she knew she needed to breathe or she would lose consciousness.

She heard faint yelling. "Lando!"

It was Oscar's voice. The sound almost drew her back to reality. But the dark confines of her mind had too much of a grip.

Oscar was ready to go into his own panicked state, but he needed to remain calm. He hears Lando slide into the doorway. His face dropping immediately now that he can actually see her.

Oscar takes her into his arms. Her curled up body was now placed between his legs. Her back against his chest.

She was completely absent. She wanted to protest and understand what was happening, but the fear of letting the voices in made her refrain from doing so.

It was difficult for Oscar to stay calm. He'd never seen her like this. He ran his fingers gently up and down her back. He uses his leg to push hers closer to the ground. Her body is trying to fight his, but the lack of air in her lungs makes it difficult.

Oscar wraps his arms around her now, pulling her further into him. Still trying every tech he knows to soothe her.

Lando came back with water and made his best attempt at coaching him through this.

She still was struggling to breathe, which concerned them both. Her hands gripped her head so hard he could see little spots of crimson in crescent shapes.

"Talk to her, mate. It might help her get out of her head."

Oscar nodded his head at Lando's suggestion. The Brit then ran off again to investigate what happened.

Instead of holding her around her middle, Oscar switched his tactics. Moving his hands to slip underneath hers. The little specks of blood now decorate his fingers.

Her mind was trying to grasp onto anything to bring her back. The thoughts are doing their best to pull her back under. She knows Oscar is there. She tries to ground herself with his touch.

He's repeating his words - a prayer falling from his lips willing her back to him. "I've got you. I'm here. Breathe. You're safe."

She tries to slow her erratic heart. Her body has been dry heaving and coughing from the sheer amount of static.

She finds the feeling in her arms and legs come back, using it to push herself further into Oscar. Then, finally, she can feel the thick cloud that has taken hold of her mind to start to filter through. The end of the tunnel in sight.

Her body practically goes limp. Oscar holds her up and leans her head on his chest. Trying to soothe the female in his lap.

Everything in her body hurts, but her lungs are finally getting some reprieve. She takes in the situation around her. Oscar's comforting touch keeps her present.

Her body stops trembling. Only little hiccups now escape as the tears slow. It hurts Oscar to see her like this. She looks broken and he dosen't know how he didn't catch it sooner.

"I'm sorry" falls from her lips. He just shushs her and continues to stroke her arm. "You deserve better than me."

Oscar is taken aback by her admission. He was too stunned to stop her before she continued on. "Other girls can be there to support you. They aren't as busy with school. They are prettier and can travel with you, and you wouldn't have to worry about them cheating -"

Oscar shifts them around until he can see her face. Her puffy teary eyes shattering him. He holds her face in his hands. “Other girls aren’t you.”

She can’t stop the tears from welling in her eyes again. A flurry of emotions tries to take hold once again.

“Who gave you that idea?”

She shakes her head. Willing him to ask anything else. Panic again rising into her throat as caught wrack her body. She tried to pull away from him. Her body starting to close in on itself again at the memories.

Oscar doesn’t let it happen. Holding her in place firmly yes every one of his touches are gentle and loving. He silently wills Lando to come back faster. His teammate has dealt with anxiety and would know better then him what to do.

“It’s okay, Love. We don’t have to talk about it.” He soothes and reassures her until her body goes lax agains his once again. Put exhaustion takes over and she can’t will herself to stay coherent and conscious any longer.

Oscar is relieved when she falls asleep on him. Her breathing becomes even and her body now relaxes.

Lando reappeared in the doorway ten minutes later; Out of breath and drenched in sweat. “Mate, you’re not gonna like this.”

~

The two boys moved the girl to the small couch and draped her against it gently.

Oscar was trying to hold in his rage. He wanted to storm out of the motor home and unleash his anger on everyone who ever said a word against his girl. The girl he loves. The one he chose and trusts and is ridiculously proud of. Her accomplishments deserve to be praised, not torn down by those who call themselves fans.

Lando had warned him against it. It would be a PR mess and might actually cause her more anxiety. So he bit his tongue and put on the Oscar everyone was used to seeing.

He practically sped through all his media duties. Wanting nothing more then to see that he got her back to the hotel room. Back to a safe environment where she could open up to him.

Oscar was done quickly and back in his room and changed within an hour. The woman asleep on the couch still breathing evenly.

He knew he didn’t need to, but he waited for Lando. The Brit had offered to help him get her back safely and fend off any media who tried to talk to them.

He welcomed the fact that they were distracted. Not caring much as passerby’s gave him weird looks.

~

She woke up in a foreign place. She distinctly remembers being at the track. Regardless, she couldn’t help but sink into the comfort.

Oscar her her shifting around. Gently seating himself next to her on the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” She rasped. Her throat both sore and dry from her earlier wailing.

“Please don’t panic-“ he places a hand over hers. “- Lando told me what happened. We’ve both made statements about it and the PR team is doing the rest. Everyone agrees it isn’t right.”

A weight felt like it was being lifted of her chest. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. It’s my job to make sure things like this don’t happen. I love you so much and I hated seeing you like this. I don’t car in anyone else sees it. I see it and I see you. And you want to know what I see?”

She shoot him a quizzical look, curious as to where he’s going with this.

He smiles. The smiles that makes her feel warm. The smile that make heat rise to her face.

“The greatest thing I could have ever asked for.l

[24hlevi]

— monster mash

gen v characters (marie, jordan, emma, cate, & sam) x gn!reader

summary: how halloween would go w/ the gen v characters

warnings: language

im a day late whoops also these are short but i really wanted to do it so yeah

Marie Moreau -

- marie is pretty normal about halloween, she doesn't get crazy festive about it, it's just a holiday to dress up and get candy or get drunk

– that being said, if you care about the holiday a lot then she will go along with you on it and do anything you want to do

– she wouldn't dress up if she wasn't going out anywhere like to a party or another outing, but she might put a hat on or something to hand out candy to kids

– marie doesn't really enjoy horror movies a lot, mainly thinks the majority of them are dumb and would rather watch just something fall themed and not a horror movie

– however she does love the candy you buy for you two, and will eat most of it before deciding to actually make food because if not she will throw up from eating so much sugar

Jordan Li -

- loves halloween with their whole heart and more, it's their favorite holiday for real

– they wouldn't completely disagree with matching costumes if it's cool, like a couple from a famous movie or something

– jordan will definitely take you to a halloween party to have a fun time together and drink and smoke while dancing

– they are totally going to be complimenting you non stop throughout the night, you just look so good and they love you a lot so obviously they're gonna tell you how good you look

– they will be going out trick or treating with you despite their age it doesn't matter they want candy and they will be getting their candy one way or another

Emma Meyer -

- it will be literally july and emma will already be organizing matching halloween costumes for you and her

– she will 100% choose one of those dumb ones like an angel and devil

– she'd rather hand out candy to kids than go to a party or just watch scary movies with you claiming she won't be scared then is scared shitless when the movie starts

– emma made you help her put up decorations as soon as october hit the first day, and she has a lot of decorations and she is determined to put them all up

– you will be carving pumpkins whether you want to or not, despite how messy it gets, emma adores the tradition of it and makes hers look all cute and pretty somehow

Cate Dunlap -

- cate isn't really big on halloween, she doesn't like going to dumb parties where everyone is in costumes and would rather spend it inside with you

– she will refuse to dress up unless you literally beg her just for fun and for pictures, she reluctantly agrees but it can't be stupid

– cate doesn't particularly enjoy horror movies, but will watch the b-rated dumb ones with you to make you happy that you're watching a festive movie

– the most decorations she likely has is a ghost hanging on the door so people can see, yeah, that's it, literally

– cate only eats candy sometimes, and when she does it's not a lot, so you’ll end up having to give the rest to random kids that show up or walk by

Sam Riordan -

- poor boy doesn't completely understand halloween at first, he doesn't get why dressing up in costumes, getting candy and going to parties is such a big deal

– thankfully you're there to help him with that and show that halloween is a fun holiday

– it's mainly spent at home in onesies watching horror movies and waterworld cause that's his favorite movie while eating expensive candy you bought

– sam found out he loves horror movies, his favorites are the nightmare on elm streets both for how dumb silly they are but also the cool kills in the later movies though he hates the third movie for obvious reasons

– he will eat all the candy you buy in one night i’m dead serious you’ll wake up the next morning and sam is passed out in a sugar coma and won't get up from eating so much candy

[writingwithciara]

party games -chris sturniolo-

summary: y/n’s best friend decides to throw a party and when he needs a partner for beer pong, he chooses her. a girl who’s never played the game or had a drop of alcohol in her life. what could possibly go wrong?

word count: 3.7k

pairing: chris sturniolo x bestfriend!reader

notes & warnings: in honor of the triplet's 21st birthday!!! iwrote this before they were 21, but i guess now it doesn't really matter. hope you guys enjoy this bit of self indulgence 😊 w: intended smut; intoxication; drugs; language of course

masterlist

when chris had his 'frat boy' era, he didn't understand why the fans were obsessed or why they labelled him as such.

of course parties can be fun. especially with the right people. but there's no need to constantly be throwing a party every night.

sure he enjoys the occasional party but he doesn’t throw them every weekend like some people assume he does.

he prefers to spend most of his time with his brothers and his best friend, y/n.

he met her randomly at a mcdonald’s when he and his brothers moved to los angeles and he thought she was incredibly nice. she ended up showing them around town the next day and ever since then, whenever they were free, they would hang out together. most of those times it was just them. and chris preferred it that way sometimes.

they’ve been friends for 4 years and within that time frame, chris has never seen y/n drink a drop of alcohol or do any kind of drug. she didn’t even smoke weed and chris always saw her as the most innocent person he’d ever met.

so when he decided to give into his ‘frat boy’ persona & throw a party, he had to beg her to come to it. he had a backup plan prepared in case she said no.

she was sitting in matt’s room, discussing strategies for a game they were both into, when chris barged in to propose his deal.

“i’m throwing a party. i want you both to attend it.”

“chris, do you really-“

“before you say no, like you always do, i’ve prepared a deal that neither of you could refuse.”

“okay. and what’s that?” matt sat up straight and stared expectantly at his brother. y/n mirrored his position.

“yeah. tell us this deal please.”

“it’s different for each of you.” chris smiled and turned to matt. “if you come to the party, i will take my driving test and as a bonus, i will not ask you to drive me anywhere for a month.”

“okay. what’s in it for y/n?”

“remember that really expensive taylor swift concert package you wanted?”

“of course. what about it?”

“i may or may not have bought it for you and i may or may not have planned to give it to you for your birthday.”

“did you?”

“if you come to the party, i’ll let you know.” he sighed. “please? you’re the most important person that needs to be there.”

“hey, i’m sitting right here.”

“you’re lucky i love you, chris.” y/n walked over to him. “whens the party?”

“4 hours from now. and don’t worry. you can get ready in my room. already got an outfit picked out for you.”

“you really put some thought into this, didn’t you?”

“i did. so, are you guys gonna come to the party?”

“for you, i’d do anything.” y/n smiled and walked out to the kitchen. chris watched her leave and matt chuckled.

“you’re lucky she loves you.” he smiled. “you should just tell her you love her too.”

“oh please. we’re as platonic as two people can get. she friend zoned me the first week of our friendship and i’ve never wanted to change it.”

“well i’m sensing a but coming in soon.”

“but" he dragged the word out and sighed. "these last 2 months have made me realize that she’s perfect for me, matt. she’s the right amount of innocent without being too innocent. and she’s funny and she gets along with nick. do you know how hard that is for people to do?”

“you’re right. it is difficult. but she’s a good person. you guys are so opposite.”

“yeah but that’s what makes us perfect.” chris smiled. “wait, hold on. did you just imply i’m not a good person?”

out in the kitchen, y/n was preparing a snack when nick entered the room.

“hey. did chris ask you to come to the party?”

“yeah he did.” y/n put the chips away and took the dip from the fridge. “do you know if he actually got the concert package or not?”

“i’m pretty sure he did. but you didn’t hear it from me.” nick popped a chip in his mouth and walked away. chris came out of matt’s room a second later and smiled when he saw y/n in the kitchen.

“hey. you can shower first if you want.”

“okay. i just want to finish my chips first.” y/n grabbed the last few chips and shoved them in her mouth. “okay. see you in 2 hours."

"2 hours?"

"yeah. i need that much time to make myself look good enough to be seen with you guys tonight."

"you could attend the party in ripped sweatpants and a baggy sweater and you'd still look better than anyone attending."

"awe, christopher. that was sweet." y/n smiled. "but i'm still gonna get all dressed up because when do i ever get the chance to do that?"

"fair point." he chuckled.

"thanks again for the invite." she kissed his cheek and ran down to his room to get ready.

by 9 o'clock, the party was in full swing. most people were already well into their 3rd or 4th drink at this point.

chris, however, had decided to pre-game after his shower and was already on his 6 drink. they were mostly shots but with someone like chris, it was easy to get drunk.

he was surrounded by a group of gorgeous girls. and it just so happened that he abandoned those girls when he saw y/n. she was holding a cup in her hand and looking around the room. she was alone so chris walked up to her.

"is there alcohol in that cup?"

"of course not." she sipped it slowly. "matt gave me some of his root beer. and don't worry. i watched him pour it and i haven't taken my eyes off the cup since."

"well that's good to know."

"so what just happened?"

"huh?"

"one second, you're surrounded by every girl at this party that anyone would categorize as 'your type' and the next, you're over here with me. what makes me so special?"

"i'd tell you, but then i'm afraid i would have to kill you." he put his finger to his lips and looked around. "hey, let's go play some beer pong."

"i don't drink, chris. you know that."

"then be my partner. i know you have really good aim and i could use someone like you as my partner." he pleaded. "i'll drink everything. i promise."

"i can't say no to you, can i?"

"no you can not." he smirked triumphantly and grabbed her hand. they hurried over to the table where someone was setting up the next round. "y/n and i call next round."

"are you sure about that, chrissy? i've never seen her even sip a single drop of alcohol. maybe i could be your partner." one of the girls from earlier batted her eyelashes at him seductively but he paid her no mind.

"alright. let's do this." chris eyed the cups and pointed to the one he wanted y/n to aim for. "let's get the hardest one out of the way first, hmm?" he whispered in her ear and she tossed the tiny ball. it spun around the rim of the cup before landing inside. "yes! i knew you could do it."

"thanks for having some faith in me, chris." she smiled up at him as the guy on the other end of the table downed the alcohol.

"let's see you go 2 for 2." he wiped his lips and y/n picked up another ball. she was about to aim for the front cup but chris leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"back corner cup. you can do this."

she didn't know why but the way his words came out of his mouth, did something to her. she watched as the ball bounced past the cup and sighed. "sorry, chris."

"it's okay. you're still doing great." he kissed the top of her head as the game continued.

they conquered the rest of the game and they were setting up for another round when y/n looked at chris.

"i think i want to try drinking."

"are you positive?"

"100%. it's not like i'm driving home tonight anyway. besides, i'm here with you so i'm the safest i could ever be."

"i won't let anything bad happen to you."

"i know." she smiled up at him with her innocent smile and he knew he needed to protect her at all costs.

they ended up losing game 2 but they wanted to participate in another one. at this point, y/n had downed 6 of the 10 cups so to say she was tipsy would be a bit of an understatement.

halfway through game 3, chris had to cut her off. he had been sobering up while she was drinking and the sight before him was ridiculous, but also funny.

chris intentionally lost the game and finished off the last cup. he grabbed y/n's hand and brought her down to his room.

"ooh, christopher. if you wanted me in your bed, you could've just asked." she giggled when the door was closed.

"i'm gonna get you some water. can you get changed for me?" chris looked at her and smiled when she nodded slowly. He went into his bathroom and grabbed a cup, filling it with water before venturing back to his room. y/n was in the middle of taking her shirt off when he entered the room. her movements became slow and it felt like she was putting on a show for him.

"like what you see, chrissy?"

"no." he swallowed hard. he in fact did like what he saw but she was drunk and it would be wrong to admit it. so he just looked back at her. "you need to get changed into something comfortable to sleep in, y/n/n."

"you're no fun." she pouted and continued to pull the shirt over her head. it somehow got stuck and she turned towards where she assumed chris was. "help, please?"

chris shook his head and approached her. he grabbed the piece of fabric carefully and pulled it over her head, replacing it with one of his new fresh love shirts. her jeans were a little easier to slide down her legs and chris replaced them with some of his old shorts.

"thank you, chris. you're the best." she mumbled as she snuggled deeper into the blankets. just as she was getting comfortable, her face twisted in disgust and she leaned over the edge of the bed. chris grabbed the garbage bin and held it underneath her while she emptied the contents of her stomach into it. he sat next to her and rubbed her back gently while holding her hair back. when she was finished, chris handed her a towel to wipe her lips and he used a damp one to wipe the sweat off her face.

"feeling better?"

"no. i feel like shit." she grumbled and moved to lay on her back. chris still sat on the edge of the bed, but this time, he had to turn his head a little to talk to her.

"i never should've let you drink." he sighed, adding a little chuckle at the end when y/n dramatically threw her arm over her face.

"yeah. what were you thinking, christopher?"

"i would've stopped you but your mind was set on it. and i'd like to think i know you well enough at this point to understand that when you're dead set on something, nothing can change your mind."

"i guess that's true." y/n sighed and closed her eyes. "thank you for being such a good friend, chris. i don't deserve you."

"more like i don't deserve you." chris chuckled and looked back at y/n to see her chest rising and falling slowly, signaling she was a brief moment away from falling asleep. "get some rest, princess. i'll see you in the morning." he moved her hair out of her face and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before slowly walking out of the room & rejoining the party.

matt eyed his brother as he walked to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. "what? no more drinking?"

"oh, this is for y/n when she wakes up." chris smiled and passed the bottle between his hands casually. "i can't believe i let her drink so much."

"she's an adult, chris. she can make her own choices. you don't have to feel guilty for what happened or obligated to keep her from making mistakes."

"i know. but she's my best friend and i made myself a promise that i would never let anything bad happen to her."

"and so far, nothing bad has happened. you're doing a great job."

"thanks, matt. i really needed that reassurance." chris smiled again. "i hope you don't mind but i'm done with the party for the night. duty calls, you know."

"yeah. i get it. you've gotta take care of her. go on."

"i appreciate you." chris hugged his brother before heading back down to his room. y/n was tossing around on the bed as if she was having some sort of nightmare.

chris approached her and noticed her face was covered in sweat so he grabbed the wet cloth and ran it along her face. her movements slowed and her breathing went back to normal, satisfying chris. he placed the bottle on his nightstand and crawled into bed next to her. when y/n's arm landed on his chest, he stiffened up a bit but when he heard light snores coming from her, he just smiled to himself.

he was glad she felt safe around him but he knew he needed to tell her how he felt before it was too late.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

the morning came faster than chris had wanted. he couldn't get any sleep with y/n beside him. she spent a few hours just throwing up in the garbage and chris was there to take care of her each time. he wiped her face with a damp cloth and got her water when she needed it.

when her eyes fluttered open and she made eye contact with chris, she couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face.

"good morning." she whispered.

"good morning." chris smiled and moved the hair that was stuck to her forehead. "how are you feeling?"

"better than i was last night, but still shitty." she closed her eyes. "i'm sorry you had to take care of me all night instead of enjoying your own party. i feel bad you missed most of it."

"hey, don't feel bad. i will always take care of you, no matter what."

"but, your party-"

"it wasn't that important. not nearly as important to me as you are."

"do you....do you mean that?"

"of course." he smiled and played with her fingers.

"you know, even after 4 years, i will never understand why i'm so important to you." she replied shyly, avoiding eye contact with her best friend. "i mean, i'm nothing special."

"hey," he grabbed her chin gently and looked into her eyes. "you are incredibly special. don't sell yourself short, ma."

"t-thanks, chris." she looked into his eyes and before she knew it, she was leaning closer. just as their lips were about to touch, y/n ducked her head to the side and threw up in the garbage bin. chris held her hair back for her while she continued to empty her stomach. when she was finished, she wiped her mouth with the back if her hand. "oh my god. i'm so sorry, chris."

"it's alright. you don't have to apologize to me, ever." he smiled and wiped the sweat from her face again. "especially for something as normal as that."

"you're sweet, christopher." she closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest. chris rubbed her shoulder and kissed her head. "how are you still single?"

he felt like saying "because i only want to be with you" but he kept his mouth shut. he didn't need to lose his best friend. he could've risked it but he didn't want to say anything until he knew how she felt. and he couldn't ask her in her current state. so he would just have to wait until she was better, no matter how long it took.

when he was sure y/n was fast asleep again, he gently moved her off his body and got out of bed. he went up to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for his brothers and y/n, since he knew they'd all have a hangover of some sort.

matt was the first one awake and when he entered the kitchen and saw chris cooking, he didn't even question it.

"good morning." chris greeted him happily.

"could you lower your voice a little, please?" matt rubbed his head slowly while he sat at the table. chris poured him a glass of water and set it down gently. "thank you."

"matt, can i tell you something?"

"yeah, of course." he sipped his water slowly.

"i almost kissed y/n earlier."

"oh my god. really? what happened?"

"our lips were like 2 inches from touching and then she ended up throwing up. but i may have messed our friendship up by almost kissing her."

"why do you say that?"

"it just feels like it. i don't know."

"look, you need to talk to her and tell her how you feel. the worst she can say is that she doesn't feel the same. but i doubt that outcome will happen because i guarantee that she has feelings for you."

"well, i won't be sure until i talk to her. and i plan on doing it after breakfast." chris heard his bedroom door shut and he finished plating the food. he set everyone's plates on the table just as nick and y/n came into the kitchen. "good morning."

"good morning." y/n sat at the table and looked at her plate. "this all looks delicious, chris. thank you."

"you're welcome." he sat across from her and everyone began eating.

breakfast was mostly silent, aside from the forks hitting the plates and the cups being set down on the table.

when everyone was done eating, chris went to clear the table by himself but y/n stopped him.

"let me help. it's the least i can do since you made breakfast and all." y/n smiled and carried half the dishes to the kitchen. she set them down in the sink and ran the water. "breakfast was delicious, chris. thanks again."

"no problem. figured you'd need some solid food in your system. hopefully you can keep it down."

"i'm sure i will." she smiled. "after all, i had a really good caretaker this morning."

"speaking of this morning, can we talk? you know, about the thing that almost happened?"

"yeah. um, sure. when do you want to talk about it?"

as y/n and chris talked in the kitchen, matt glanced over at them occasionally. nick noticed and raised his eyebrow.

"you good over there, bro?"

"yeah. i just really hope chris and y/n finally admit how they feel about each other. been rooting for them ever since that night we met her at mcdonald's." matt glanced back over towards the kitchen and noticed they were gone. "wow. they move fast."

"not fast enough." nick chuckled as he averted his attention back to the tv.

down in chris' bedroom, he was sitting on the edge of his bed with y/n beside him. she began to fidget with her fingers and chris instinctively reached over and held her hands gently.

"you know, you've been my best friend and favorite person for 4 years. and ever since the night we met at mcdonald's, i've been trying to figure out how you've had the patience to put up with me for so long. you are so incredible and an absolute angel, y/n. and i admire you so much. you have no idea how much you mean to me and i don't think there's enough time in the world for me to express just how strongly i feel about you." chris looked over at her and gently cupped her cheek. "you are so perfect."

"christopher owen sturniolo, you are unmatched. and i love you. so much more than you can ever imagine."

"if you hadn't gotten sick this morning, would you have followed through with the kiss?"

"absolutely." y/n smiled. "would you have followed through?"

"yes definitely. and even though you got sick, i still would've kissed you after."

"barf breath and everything?"

"i'd kiss you under any circumstance, y/n. i love you."

"i love you too." y/n smiled and ran her hand through his hair, bringing his lips down to hers. she smiled into the kiss and chris held her close.

"i'm going to take you on a proper date tomorrow night." chris smiled widely. "Wait, hold on. i actually have something you might prefer."

"something else i'd prefer over a date with you? i doubt it."

"oh but this is better. trust me." chris got up and walked to his closet. he pulled out a medium sized gift box and handed it to her. "i wanted to give this to you on your birthday but since it's this weekend, i think now's a better time to give it to you."

y/n opened the box and pulled out the special taylor swift vip concert package chris put together for her.

"chris, you didn't."

"oh but i did. a week from today, you'll be going to the taylor swift show in la and you'll be watching it from the front row. during the show, there's a surprise. then after the show, you'll be going backstage to meet her and spend some time with her."

"i love you so much, chris. you didn't have to do this." y/n had tears in her eyes and chris wiped them away.

"if anyone deserves this, it's you."

"i truly don't deserve you, christopher." she rested her forehead against his and closed her eyes. "i'm so glad we met at mcdonald's that night."

"me too." chris smiled and kissed her softly.

they finally got what they both wanted and they couldn't be happier. and without mcdonald's & beer pong, they wouldn't be where they are now.

[starbuckaroo]

I think I would be happier w bucktommy all these episodes down the line if Tommy still interacted with or asked after Eddie. I know there’s a lot the show doesn’t put onscreen so there’s no reason why it couldn’t have plausibly happened or couldn’t still happen (and I hope it does), but Tommy was Eddie’s friend first! They hung out a lot!

And yet, since he got together with Buck, we haven’t gotten to see them interact.

Granted, there hasn’t been a lot of screen time for Tommy and that’s fine, it’s a short season w very little room to breathe. This isn’t some sort of angry anti bucktommy tirade. But it does make me just a tad uncomfortable the way things are at this moment. Bc it’s not a stretch to theorize that maybe Tommy was hoping things Eddie might go somewhere and when they didn’t, he tried with Buck. I don’t think that’s supported by the text, but it’s also not negated, either. Idk. It’s not a huge deal at the moment, just a little snag?

Listen I am a buck fan but I am an eddie fan!!!!!!! And I am so so sad for eddie this season it’s been rly fucking rough on him! Not like buck needs to change anything (except not be a jealous freak and lash out physically if he can’t use his words), like I said I’m here for bucktommy I think they’re great. But like. Where’s the awkward “hey how do we hang out now that you two make out sometimes” or whatever?? We deserve to see that tbh! It’s a more common issue in queer circles, that ppl have to slip in and out of romantic/platonic interactions when people partner up or break up. It’s also the first time either of them have dated anyone within the LAFD and so it’s the first time this could ever have even come up!

Idk man. Just I keep thinking about how happy eddie seemed when he was hanging out w Tommy and maybe it’s just bc that ep was meant to be from Buck’s pov but i don’t know what’s worse, thinking it WAS real and now he doesn’t get to have that friendship anymore or that it WASNT real and he was never actually having that good of a time.

MY REAL POINT is that anyone who WAS or IS a buddie shipper or anyone who likes Eddie at all has to acknowledge how important buck and eddie are to each other, right? Which means that in any relationship that either of them ever have, if they want it to be serious and have long term potential, they actually need to integrate their partner with their best friend.

Maybe this is too weird for some ppl? It’s always seemed like a given, like if there’s someone new and important in my life, I def want my best friend to meet them and like them bc I want us all to be able to spend time together! I don’t want to feel split between them all the time! And esp with Tommy already having connections with most of the 118/main cast, and particularly Eddie, it would make sense for us to see them interacting!

Idk. I’m probably wanting too much from my network tv show lol I just. I will literally never take bucktommy seriously as a pairing if they don’t manage to address the Eddie of it all. And not in a “address the fact that buck loves him” contrived jealousy nonsense. I mean address the fact that their lives are bound together! And it predates anyone that either of them will ever date! Plus imagine the character growth it would take for Buck to send Tommy to Thursday basketball with like a plate of cookies and orange slices or something but not show up himself. Be like “have fun with the boys, slap Eddie’s ass for me” or whatever 😂 I would believe Buck was finally on his way to being ready for a long term adult relationship if they managed that, is all I’m saying

[jakowskis]

Day 13 - Favorite ship(s)? Any Torchwood OTPs? Go ahead, gush about them!

dude i multiship so hard in this fandom i dont think there’s a single combination i havent thought of + found a way to enjoy, and that extends to trios. AND i like tw poly. i am mashing them together like barbie dolls. i am having sm fun here in my room

even the ones i don’t exactly “like” still make me Feel Things (more on that later), and even the ones i tend to prefer as friends (more on that later, too), i can still see it if i want to yknow. that’s what’s fun about the slutty bisexy show! woo! they all compel me. 

nonetheless, here are the pairings i like the most, ranked by how often i think of them + how insane they make me. im not gonna gush a ton, actually, bc i get annoyed w how much i talk, so ill keep every explanation under 15 words

owen x ianto: I Want Them Covered in Blood Together (Gnashing My Teeth) (by fall out boy)

owen x andy: golden retriever boyfriend for owen bc sometimes it’s nice to not be angsty (gooseberry who?)

owen x jack: i dont know how they make me feel but they make me feel Something :/

ianto x tosh: THEY’D BE SO CUTE they’d be precious that’s all

tosh x andy: see above. tosh deserves a sweet bf (there are no girls to ship her with 😔)

owen x suzie: they’re mirrors, they’re the same… they intrigue me. also Hawt xD (im bi)

owen x gwen: better as besties imho but im still a bi moron who’s not immune

jack x ianto: overrated imho BUT i do still like them. sigh. dead line speech wahhh

gwen x rhys: i love their relationship troubles n the way it grounds the show. theyre cute

jack x the doctor: sending jack off to harass the doctor so the team can Rest (+ Im Compelled)

jack x gwen: they compel me a little. a teeny bit. not too much but a little

(can u tell i like owen ships. he just has such fascinating relationships w everyone)

ok i lied ill say a couple things. firstly my otp being owento… i’ve talked a bit about it but in brief it started out because i can't resist having at least one enemies/rivals to lovers ship per fandom and ep12 blew my mind a little - and then something just Clicked and they somehow achieved top ten ships of all time status in my brain?? idk what happened there. i usually go for canon-based ships, so having one that kind of lacks substance in the source media (allegedly; i think they’re fruity in canon. but u know what i mean like theyre not ‘canon’ in a show where there is in fact gay TEXT rather than just the subtextual shit theyre doing yanno) and is largely a beast of my own creation (+ the influence of the wonderful handful of fic writers we’ve had over the years) has been rlly fun. 

im largely preoccupied with those two, but i’ve found jack + his relationship with ianto kind of inherently haunts owen x ianto… if you’ve read my fic you know what i mean by that. i can’t see owento existing on its own, like janto fundamentally co-exists next to it so i have to take it into account, and then jack and owen also have a fascinating relationship so i’ve kind of just ended up spending a lot of time thinking about and figuring out owen x ianto x jack in all combinations, because there’s a lot of fascinating stuff going on there from every end. introducing owen to the equation also kind of… ig redeems janto for me, bc i found them offensively underwhelming in s1 and s2. they should be dark and fucked up, and they’re not. owen kind of… brings smth dark and fucked up to the table, and a lot of why i like shipping him with ianto is bc they bring shit out of each other - and owen, for his part, is capable of bringing out ianto’s repressed rage and forcing him to deal with things he’d rather try to compartmentalize and ignore… i find that super compelling, and i also find it useful for breaking down my issues with how jack & ianto’s relationship is initially presented. like, he’s a handy narrative tool for that hfsdjkf. point is, whether i like it or not, jack and his relationships with my girlies (owen n ianto are the girlies <3) is kind of also an intrinsic part of what most of my fixation-oriented brain power goes into thinking about. i’ve been developing this huge fic ‘verse fdhfjk.... Im Very Tired

sometimes i like fun, though, which is what’s behind a lot of those other ships. i’m generally into very dark + angsty + psychological themes, but sometimes fluff and domesticity and occasional silliness is nice, and that’s what’s behind owandy (i have an au where they meet before owen dies) and iantosh (+ gwen x rhys) as my sort of… alternative endgame. my comfort ‘au’. not an au, exactly, but an alternative fluffier world to the darker owento-based one i’ve crafted and spend most of my time thinking about fdshkfj. i also like sending jack off to go bother the doctor, in this ‘au’, because unfortunately i don’t think he’s conductive to the team’s happiness. i think he needs to find his own way to heal and that should probs include the doctor, considering how obsessed jack is with them + how much he needs to unpack All That Shit he has going on before he can be any sort of truly positive force in the lives of the tw team. so for now he’s banned from the polycule for jack crimes. listen, i love that torchwood’s inherently sad and dark and lonely, it’s what compels me, and i’m ultimately glad that’s the core of the show - but it doesn’t have to be. sometimes i enjoy a nicer alternative. i think they could fix it. and that’s what fandom + fanfic is for. 

i also have several ot3s i enjoy, mostly owen ones. i think he deserves a bf + a gf, i think it’d fix him. put that bitch in a bisexual sandwich and maybe he'd behave. in particular, i love owen x tosh x ianto, it’s the only place i ship owen/tosh bc i think ianto would keep owen in check and they’d all better each other. i love owen x tosh x andy for similar reasons. can you tell the four characters im biased towards fhdskj. (i love gwen just as much but she’s kind of doing her own thing with just rhys and jack imo fdkfjsd. perhaps torchwood is composed of two polycules and jack is the link between both of them)

[uselessheretic]

weighing in on the "should you interact with anti izzy posts or not" because i love to talk to myself:

i don't think it's a black and white thing tbh. more than anything, i think people should seriously examine their motivations for responding to hateful posts in that at times it can be a bit self harming. especially if you find yourself seeking out conflict, or are spending more time in fandom responding to negativity rather than doing things that make you happy.

one thing i think izzy fans do well is maintain a balance of ensuring their fandom experience is predominantly focused on things that spark joy. which happens to mostly be sexualizing that old man. for a lot of izzy stans, if you scroll through their twitter/tumblr, it'll be more about liking him as a character than generic izcourse. when it comes to izzy discourse, it kinda has flashes across izzy side of fandom where people respond in short bursts before largely just moving on. can't say the same about izzy haters.

when it comes to responding to things, i largely think there's not a point in direct interaction, however, i wouldn't say it's completely without merit. sometimes i'll respond to long "meta" in the izzy tag literally just because if i have to see your bullshit take then you have to deal with mine as well. that's the tradeoff for being obnoxious in the izzy tag.

i think there can be value in correcting misinformation or refusing to allow the narrative to be controlled completely by izzy haters. "here's why izzy is racist" is annoying and i don't think the main people perpetuating this will ever admit they're wrong. Still, at the same time a lot of these posts are full of misinformation. this misinfo gets parroted throughout fandom and that's bad. "donkey is a slur against polynesians" is a good example. it's not. that was made up on tumblr. every polynesian person i've ever seen comment on this has all said that they have never encountered this as a slur irl. find me a single source outside of tumblr that says "donkey is a slur against polynesians" for fucking real.

the issue with this though is what constitutes as harassment. disagreement doesn't equate to harassment. responding to someone's meta isn't harassment. izzy haters purposefully position disagreement against them as harassment and instances of bigoted behavior. i remember someone once listing an example of how izzy stans are racist as "made fun of a post about how izzy is homophobic." the poster was white. the person who made fun of it was me, a black fan. this isn't racism. at most this is me being a bitch.

i don't think that necessarily means that you should never interact, disagree, vague, or screencap random bullshit. i do think you need to be intentional as well as firm. it will only harm you more if you concede to allowing people to describe your actions as abusive when you know for a fact that they are not. words like harassment, racism, homophobia, stalking, abuse, etc all have meaning. they have definitions and while there can be gray areas when it comes to certain things, the limitations for what constitutes as abusive does not change just because you've arbitrarily decided that you are the good guy in this interaction.

overall, i think there can be times when having conversation, even ones of disagreement, has value. i don't think everybody with a shitty opinion is a malicious actor who needs to be discarded immediately. that said, there are groups in fandom who have demonstrated time and time again to have zero ability to self reflect and are overall narcissistic, self obsessed, navel gazing folks deadset on defending their ignorance to the death. there isn't any use in direct engagement. all it does is feed a perpetual victim mentality and gives them the attention they so desperately crave.

also? while we're here? keep receipts. i'm not even joking. screencap shit when you do have a direct confrontation. if you criticize someone's meta make sure you have their exact words. when someone insults you keep that on hand. people straight up lie on here and when they do shit like say "izzy bought ed as a slave" or "you can go send izzy stans hate for all i care" or "i'm not being passive aggressive, i'm being aggressive" hold them to that. if not for any other reason other than the fact that it's kinda funny watching them lie on their mother that they never actually said this and clearly this was a misinterpretation that only occurred because they are 12 years old and super sleepy when they wrote this and didn't actually mean it like that :((

[edward-the-silly]

(info may be outdated.. not make sence. and will be changed maybe- i wrote this at like 3:00am..ill edit it while i can ;w;.. fill free to ignore for now .w.)

HELLO welcome to intro part of blog ♡♡♡

(If you only care about what charaters are askable right now and what not to ask, then after intro is the list of charaters to ask. at the very end is the list of things not to ask so fill free to skip alot if you dont wanna read it mainly just talks about how this is a au and im gonna make edward and the other charaters act how i think they will act bc i dont wanna spend 5 hours researching every time i get a question ;w;)

hello :3 welcome :D. before we start the blog i have to give some info. first who can i ask in this blog? well anyone really. i may be doing this a bit in a way where some charaters arint askable till intordused but here is a small list of charaters that are askable :3

Edward (of corse he is main charater)

Zip

Kevin

Miss circle

Miss thavel

Miss bloomie

claire

i am mainly going to take asks for edward tho as he is the main charater of the blog

why does this blog exzist? WELL it is mainly because i am bored and my other work makes me stressed sometimes so i like making comics to well not stress :3. why make the blog about edward? well he is my fav charater :3 and i really enjoy drawling him :D.. im also like really..really tired x3 sooo uhh boom askblog :D

the other charaters listed are charaters i also like drawling so they are askable right off the bat :3

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

So just to let everyone know this askblog is not to be taken serusly. i may get some (or alot) of stuff wrong with edward- or any charater for that matter.. sooo this is going to more or less be my little au of how i think all of them will act..you know like fanions/headcanons. this will include charaters likes, dislikes, personality, and how they react to differint situations. also i am also not going to fully go off of the popular head canions as well.. i dont wanna have to research alot for something ment to be fun- soo uhh yeah it is going to mainly be my crazy head cannions :3

now i am not going to be really really active on the askblog.. like ill try but i got alot of things to do so yeah life stuff u-u.

as for the moment everyone bine waiting for!!! THE THINGS NOT TO ASK/I WILL NOT ANSER!!

nsfw (like ew- wtf)

proship asks (this is more about like age gap ships.. i dont wanna anser asks like that)

just dont be a creep- (hopefully this self explanitory.

now i do allow ship asks but just be respectful of peoples ships. i will not be interacting with asks dealing with proships or hate of any ship that is menchioned in asks.

Now pls have funn :D.. also.. i know it really rambley its like 12:00 at night sooo i may sumerise this and make it prittier in the morning but for now- this is what i got u-u.. (uhh info will still stay the same ima just do it for the asstetics u-u)

also pls dont fully copy this blog ;w; (meaning stuff like my art, au, ect. be og pls)

[boyswanna-be-her]

Lmao the walk was super fun but only two people showed up (my biggest fan, who was obvs gonna be there, and a new friend who we both met at the same time through volunteering which is cute and fun, he's a p good deal younger than us). Since it was just the 3 of us, we hiked the WHOLE trail system and had a blast. Got lunch afterwards. I invited them to come out to the beach with me, and my friend decided to follow me straight out and new boy went home first but then flaked and never ended up coming to the beach.

So the clown dance continued, we swam and sunned and laughed, came back to my apartment, eventually got hungry and went to dinner, our third meal together in a row today. At every point they were hesitant to leave and happy to be invited to do the next thing. The only reason why we're not together now is that we're supposed to lift tonight at their place with someone else joining, so they headed back to their own side of town while I went home to take a shower.

This is actually a great holding pattern as far as I'm concerned. We spend as much time and I'd be willing to spend with someone I was dating, and I enjoy spending time with them more than being alone (USUALLY more, sometimes they're in a mood and I'd rather split). It's been so long since I've ACTUALLY enjoyed someone's company more than my own that I wasn't sure that would ever even happen again for me. I'm happy with this. The chemistry is there but--and holy shit i can't believe im saying this--I don't actually want to risk our friend...ship? Lmao? Who am i?

I also made an offhand comment about planning something fun and they responded "I don't really drink so that can make it hard" and of course in light of recent life changes on my side I'm like 👀👀👀 that is the opposite of a problem! But it also makes me sad bc they have been drinking with me some on our off hours and it sounds like they were just trying to keep up with me/not murder the vibe and that was SO not necessary. It also makes some stuff track more in retrospect (like "oh what was up with them that night?" ends up being "they were sleepy bc they dont drink booze normally"). Anyway, since it came up organically I told them that I was actually working on my sobriety and that it was difficult with my parents as enablers/people who want a drinking buddy from their child--and wouldnt you fucking know, bc we have everything else in common, they also have the SAME dynamic w their parents. And they seemed happy that sobriety was something I was thinking about and valued, but possibly more relieved that I actually DO enjoy our time together when we're both sober and want to do more of that.

We're finally getting into some deeper shit and I'm learning about their history and what makes them tick. Like they speak their mind super freely, but they are SO private about their family and personal life to the point that it feels almost too intimate to learn some of this shit that people who have known them longer are oblivious about. On the other hand, I'm a open book about everything I've been through and my mental health but good fucking luck getting an earnest take out of me on anything unless i deeply trust you. It makes for a weird game of learning about each other. I thanked them today for being a friend who's down to clown with all of my stupid suggestions and admitted that I normally just do everything alone but it's more fun with them. They expressed it all back to me. Alone for a long time, fine with that, surprised to find me, thankful for that too. It's just like, hm. Very comfy. And I don't worry about being wanted or wearing out my welcome, and I don't get taken advantage of, and they stand up for me and do nice things for me, and feed me and worry about me. That's such a nice change for me from being either The Provider or a person who wants for nothing or no one. It's scary to want someone in my life, even in this capacity, but it's more rewarding than I thought it could be without, yknow, actively trying to date or hook up. I feel like the possibility of something more is stalking us from location to location like the monster in It Follows--sometimes our knees are nestled together while we talk and it's breathing down our necks and sometimes we're both distracted and moody and it's not something either is thinking too much about, but fuck if it isn't always there and a thing I think we will inevitably make a choice about in the future but.

[tea-and-finalfantasy]

some more thoughts abt characters in nsfw imagines being "ooc" and why we shouldn't worry about it BUT ALSO how to branch out/what tips to use to do so if you'd like, especially if you run an ask blog and are writing for other ppl's hcs or desires and not just your own

also discussed some in-relationship characterizations of bi-han, shang tsung, and raiden as examples! and we're operating under the assumption that these are "healthier" instances of self-insert asks (meaning i mention providing aftercare here for example which might not be important to an ask/scenario where the relationship is supposed to be fucked up)

long post/tldr at end although of course i recommend reading the whole thing ^^;

on one hand, ppl shouldn't be so concerned w writing characters "in-character" for imagines or fics bc ppl are writing them to achieve an end

ppl want to showcase emotions we don't see in canon (so they seem "ooc" bc we don't see the characters going through those things often or at all)

ppl want to see their faves doing things they're into (so when an ask is sent, it's not with the intention of asking if a character would do it or not, it's asking for content of the character in fact doing that)

plus nsfw content isn't like? an "is it in character or not" deal bc it's kink. we shouldn't have a standard for who "looks like they'd be into this" or not bc it's not about appearances or how ppl usually act--it's abt trying out different roles and having fun and getting needs met and so on

and in a fictional setting where ppl want their faves to be into what they're into, why would you not write that happening? you don't have to jump through hoops to "prove" a character would act the way you want them to and you don't have to put up with other ppl saying a character wouldn't do something just bc it's not their personal hc

but on the other hand, i think ppl should also consider, if they want, what would get a character to a certain point

quoted from another post of mine:

it’s not the act that’s “ooc” bc that’s how you get “x person is a bottom and x person is a top and i just know–” rather than like. you cannot and should not look at someone and assume something about them physically, how they act, etc. is indicative of their sexual preferences

yeah i know it’s just in fiction here and not irl but god it’s so fucking grating to hear “oh this character wouldn’t bottom” (like not even sub! someone is stating they will not get fucked in the ass bc they’re “too tough”) bc you’ve created this binary of who does what act all the time, who’s allowed to do what–

as opposed to living a little? having fun with fiction? imagining what a tough and gruff character would be like in a vulnerable state and how they got there? what they’re like giving into desires they probably feel they’re not supposed to have?

SO USING BI-HAN, SHANG TSUNG, AND RAIDEN

regardless of how gruff and cold bi-han is, i don't think he'd waste time putting up with someone he didn't enjoy spending time with. sometimes he's civil, sometimes he's not, so tempers would flare but overall, i don't think he'd hate someone's devotion and kindness and/or refusal to let him put them down

same thing with shang tsung where he'd surely enjoy someone interested in his work but he also be interested in someone who takes no shit from him

i don't see it "ooc" to have a self-insert show kindness or disagreement and for either to be a deal breaker based on personality alone

i think they're characters that both need some form of kindness and care (just bc they range from... misguided or power hungry to cruel doesn't mean that cruelty is expected in turn as a form of love UNLESS? it's havik in some iterations at least LOL)

so to assume it's not appreciated would be incorrect--

the point is to discuss their reactions to it, how they'd respond "in character" and you could go so many routes too! the fun part is to experiment!

you could write them both somewhat flustered by such appreciation, unsure how to return it as the feeling is genuine but it's been a long time since they've felt something like that. felt cared for or felt genuine love for someone else that wasn't based on what they could get in return

you could write them learning to express delicate emotions and vulnerability, learning to care for someone else experiencing hardship or grief or yearning and desire. yes it's tinged by their personalities

like if someone got hurt, bi-han would be like -barely masked anger- don't worry they will be dealt with/shang tsung would be like haha i will dissolve their living flesh in acid and you can watch if you like :)

but if their s/o doesn't benefit from that kind of violent response, it's about exploring how they learn to do what works in the relationship (while also being like ok i can kill them but how do i make dinner for my lover so they feel better. how do you fucking cook)

in terms of sex and kink, it's fine if it's not your personal hc for them to engage in x/y/z thing but if you're answering a request and don't have like. an obvious disclaimer abt what you do well or like to write/what you don't write, it can feel strange to just ??? not do it properly LOL???

but again, it's not that a kink is "ooc," it's just that maybe the set-up seems iffy? obv its from personal standpoints and it doesn't really matter but i'm assuming that's the hang up ppl have sometimes? that they don't have the hc but then slip it under the guise of "oh i don't think it's in character" which lapses into the "this is what i think a top looks like/this is what a bottom looks like" which gets problematic

with bi-han, someone could write him in desperate need of a break and easily taking on a submissive role with someone he trusts bc it's what he needs. he's exhausted and stressed and expected to be strong and tough all the time and needs the help

on the other hand, someone could write that with the expectations of being tough, of being the perfect grandmaster, he feels he's not allowed to be vulnerable or submissive or humiliated and enjoy it. he's not allowed to be anything but in control all of the time and he struggles greatly in learning to lean into the pleasure he wants

with shang tsung, i personally think he'd see life as for one's own pleasure and who is he to deny himself playing around with roles and control? experimentation is in his nature after all

but i can see him acting the same as bi-han--feeling so much pressure to appear always-in-control that he doesn't know how to let go even though he wants to

and the hang up would never be distrust of a partner either unless you're going for that dynamic. wanting to try out things and simultaneously being anxious over it isn't something they'd take out on a partner as it's their hang ups, not the offer of something new by someone they trust

sometimes some things get a pass--like sex toys might be mutually used, they might seem as commonplace as condoms and lube--while other things--D/s dynamics and not just being on bottom/moaning a bit louder than usual, anything more involved in terms of set-up or equipment, etc.--might take a lot of work getting used to

it definitely isn't easy. even with both parties trying their best, there are long breaks and tense emotions, extensive aftercare and days of subdrop despite everyone's best intentions

some sessions go well and others don't. they get anxious and nervous again, sometimes when it's something entirely new and sometimes when it's something they'd done before, just because they don't feel up to it that night

with anything, it's a process that involves up and downs and dialogue that seems "ooc" just because it's not what we hear in canon (whether that's due to it being sexual in nature OR bc it's vulnerability from characters we merely see as powerful and controlling or vulnerable in terms of anger) and writing that, exploring that, being "there" for a character in a fictional setting is what makes things fun and interesting!

in a less emotionally charged setting, if we take raiden for example, i don't think it's right or possible to assign in-character or out-of-character to kinks but we might do so depending on if how they act in-scene or post-scene doesn't feel "accurate"

so the "ic"/"ooc" assignment isn't (or shouldn't be) based on if you think raiden should or shouldn't be a dom top but if you think how he's acting in regards to it feels "accurate--" especially when the acting part of the scene is over!

in my opinion, raiden seems generally fair and level headed so if he were to punish someone, it wouldn't be with bi-han's kind of fury. maybe he'd have his moments of over-zealousness, getting overexcited (which isn't a bad thing by any means) and getting mouthier, aiming more for humiliation or chastization than calm firmness, but whatever route you go, i think it's in the post-scene/aftercare that's where you find your "in character" characterization

he'd dote and be concerned, even if his partner says they're fine, he keeps a list of things they might need or want to do afterwards, he's shy about discussing sex outside the realm of a scene, even if he's having it nightly, and talks quietly, does a lot of cuddling, asks if he did well

if a piece/answer doesn't have aftercare listed, which is understandable and it's just written/no one is expected to write anything/if you're going for an unhealthy dynamic you could understandably have certain characters straight up not providing it, but if it's intended but not written, it just might feel ooc when the scene cuts off bc we only see the play-acting

i also think some ooc-ness can come from the opposite end of the spectrum where, considering aftercare for example, our knowledge of what's important to provide to real life ppl contrasts with what we think the characters would do--either out of inexperience, sexually or with scene heavy content, or due to their everyday personalities

but again, the important thing is not to shoot down ideas but to explore how would a character deal with this unfamiliar thing?

shang tsung has enough (actually legit) remedies at this point to make physically healing easy but he's unsure how to comfort someone who's crying even if he knows he can't leave them like that

bi-han's not good with words and either needs to learn some scripts or rely on what he's best at if it works for his partner. he can soothe bruises well and can literally cool things off but he might gravitate most towards just holding his partner as hard as he can and then refusing to be distant from them even by inches (always managing to hold their hand while using his other hand to do whatever else) until he's sure they're okay

raiden worries he's researched it too hard and that he asks too many questions but wants to make sure he's not overlooking something especially out of a lack of experience. he probably lapses into topdrop and doesn't even know it's a thing, doesn't know he's allowed to need the same comfort

so in general/as tips/a tldr

there's no such thing as a sex act or kink being "in character" or "out of character" bc it's an action, not inherent in the personality

so many of these are personal hcs but this is about finding what your hc is--not abt assuming there's something "ooc" about a kink just bc it's not yours or yours associated with that character

the in character/out of character debate probably (hopefully?) comes more from forgetting that sex/kink can be like a game/can involve acting and pretend--that it's not a stand in for someone's actual personality

and when there's vulnerability that's real that seems "ooc," it's probably because obvious we're not getting characters engaging in kink scenes in canon. even if they experience vulnerability, some characters do while others don't. it's narrative based, it's main characters (getting introspection) vs side characters (not having time or desire for it). exploring something not shown in text isn't inaccurate

if you have asks open, you can write as you please BUT ppl aren't sending stuff bc they think you're gonna say it's "ooc." they're asking bc they like your style and want to see what you've got based on their ideas. it's fine to not write things for w/e reason but don't pretend it's bc u have the "correct" hc and they don't

if you want to explore it, this is about discussing what would get a character to a point where they'd act a certain way? what happens when they experience something new or unfamiliar or something that affects them in a difficult or overwhelming way? the "ooc" aspect isn't the "what," it's the "how"

but it also doesn't matter what's "ic"/what's "ooc" bc we all have our own intricate interpretations anyways AND are often writing these kink things bc it's what we wanna see. of course the characters are gonna act how we like or in ways that we need

[undertale-writing-times]

"Your the blush is the cutest thing ever" with Dream?

Of course :) thanks for sending it in! 

Dream often wasn't the type to get easily flustered! Sure, sometimes he would get a little embarrassed if someone that they saved gave him a lot of attention. It happened sometimes but normally, he could deal with it.

But with Y/n? There was no way. He blushed at stuff that they said a lot! He had no idea why he did it, or what he was supposed to do to stop it. It was just like his soul decided to get embarrassed.

They were just so sweet. They made him food even though he didn't need to eat, they praised him whenever they got the chance to... they told him so many things. He knew that he should be able to handle it, but he can't.

Today he was supposed to go over to their AU, and spend time with them. He made sure that everything was fine with Blueberry and Ink, Cross was there too so he made sure that Blueberry would keep a close eye on him.

"Hurry up and go, you love bird" Ink said, which made Dream huff, waving his hand "We are not love birds, we're people." he knew what Ink meant... just... going to ignore her.

He left to go see Y/n. They spent time together in their house, watching movies and making fun of the scenes in them that they thought were funny... Lady and the Tramp was one, something that he's never seen! Funnily enough. Well... he's never seen a lot of the movies.

They were at the noodle scene, and Dream was leaning against them, his head on their shoulder "Hey Dream, have you ever kissed anyone?" They suddenly ask, making him pause.

He looks up at them with a blush on his cheeks "W-What? No... I mean... well no but why are you asking?"

Y/n looks down at him, putting their hands on his cheeks, and smiles gently pushing on them "Your blush is the cutest thing ever, you know?" their hands were so warm...

Then he realized what they said.

He huffs, his cheeks just going darker in color and turns his head away, muttering under his breath "No it isn't..." ahh this is so not fair! Why must they embarrass him like this?

[thefluxqueen]

*kicks the door down* i NEED to know more about darkwoods!Snake our timezones don’t match enough to me to play and find out for myself i NEED the c!Snake infodump pls

Why hello there Ghast :) I Have Many Thoughts thank u for asking.

okay so like

Snake originated in my old mc server, the piss pit smp, which i will henceforth refer ta as the pit for politeness sake. in that friend group i go by Snake more so my chara became c!Snake and the name carried over inta darkwoods :) on that note! their like, timeline is starting in the pit -> kaizo caverns -> darkwoods

to expand on alla that, in the pit they were a simple bird guy potion seller who was childhood friends w/ my friend's chara Bee and tormented the leader of the local city state and the server's owner/god for fun <3 Alot happened w/ the gods of the server and it ended in my friend beetle’s chara slowly destroying the integrity of the world itself in their grief, and somewhere near the end of it all when everyfin was tearin itself apart, Snake.. slipped through the cracks. not on purpose, but while everyone else had the help of another god to escape the world, Snake fell through on their lonesome. the thing about the pit is it was a server not really, ment to be left, so the world didn't really take kindly them doing so.

Snake ended up in Kaizo Caverns, a super hostile map i was very obsessed w/ for a while like right before joining darkwoods, so my brain was like 'hey wouldnt it be funny to connect these-' and what that lead to is me tormenting my little bird guy <33 by virtue of kaizo caverns bein in version 1.2.5 Snake's wings just, dont work and for pragmaticism he ties them together and to himself so they dont move/get in the way.

i personally played the map for like 18 somefin hours but i translated that inta Snake bein stuck in there for like, several months, dont really got a specific timespan for that

i kept a death counter while playin cause i am very much not good at video games, and those deaths + the general trials and tribulations of havin ta eat rotten flesh at several points and conserving food/resources and spending an increadibely long time traversing the caverns while on edge, all together form inta Woah This Bird's Traumatized LMAO

During those many months Snake was basically entirely isolated, Except! sometime pretty early on they found a half busted headset, which they procceded ta wear constantly but only Occationally got any sort of signal. those brief moments are how they met @kishdoodles' character redac! snake got a reprieve from the loneliness and over the months they went from strangers to friends even if it was just in snapshots, this was basically me rationalizing why kish let me immediatley move inta their house/backyard when i joined the server lmao

after snake completes kaizo caverns they like, fall Again inta darkwoods (havent really thought too hard inta that transition specifically akjwrk woo dimension travel!) and i ORIGINALLY deemed darkwoods his retirement arc after alla that shit in the caverns,,, little did i know,,,

i join darkwoods and im faffin about, live in a hole behind kish's cabin/farm, sign my soul away to @renchant and join Deep Dark Deals, yaknow, the ush. and then i decide ta make the abyss. the thing is, when i was buildin the first abyss it was completely seperate ta Snake's whole deal i was like this is just ta torment my friends its got its own personal lore but its not connected ta my guy yaknow. But Then I Built The Second One

somewhere in the process of building that i decided that oh hey, wouldnt it be cool if Snake built this one, since the whole deal w/ the abyss is that it infects people ta build other ones. and now here we are kajwekrkjewkj

Snake has been once again buried and isolated, see the lines from the book they wrote thats in the 2nd abyss: 'a person made for the sky buried over and over and over again.' 'Must be fate at this point. Rooted to the earth whether I like it or not.' ummm,,, sad! 

several consequences of the 2nd abyss is that its slowly sapping Snake's like, ability to feel emotion and kinda retaining that for itself, and 2.) since Snake went completley missing, Redac went to hunt them down and uhhhh died in the 2nd abyss! whoops! kish wrote a will for them that's at their cabin and  o guh gwe ;-; that shit makes me tear up every time i read it,,, wtf,,,, mc rp really hits diferent man.

annnd thats where we are atm! <3 in regards ta like, personality Snake is basically just me but like, a bit more abrassive/assholely id say, i once described them as 'distinguished fucked up' durin the pit days n tbh that still tracks LMAO

other miscellaneous things are that for like, each period of snake's life they have a specific tool they hold onta the most: fishing rod for the pit, sword for the caverns, axe for early darkwoods, and pickaxe for post abyss :3, snake's got a lil bee charm he useda have in his hair but moved ta his waist that like represented his childhood friend :0 ive recently decided that they also keep an old feather of redac's on the same string, and snake not havin a soul definitely has an effect on how easily the abyss infected them/fucked em up

ON LAST THING, on darkwoods, I have a habit of wearing player heads insteada a helmet cause we have that plugin that drops heads n i think its fun, and i do this Constantly enough so that you and other members have mentioned u really only see my skin’s face on heads of my own scattered around LMAO. the way i draw this is as Snake wearin hand painted masks of people’s faces <3 just girlie things

and thats basically it! i Will forget somefin n come back later but uhhh bird infodump be upon yeh :3 have some doodles: (Old doodle of pit era Snake and post abyss snake w/ a Pilot mask)

[xnchxntmxnt]

Hello there!

This is less of a request and more of a brainrot ask (feel free to write about it tho, would be fun to see 👁👁) because I’ve been lurking in the shadows and I think you’re super cool and wanted to talk to you

In short, what do you think would happen if the karasuno volleyball team (faculty included) got isekai’d into teyvat?

For example, they’re in the bus, ready to go to a training camp. Everyone except the driver falls asleep and the driver makes a turn into a grass-land, expecting to be there in a few minutes.

But they don’t

After the panic settles down everyone gets off the bus and they’re for example, in winerise. How would they continue?

(Ps. I’m kind of losing fume and I’m getting sleepy so feel free to add you own thoughts!!!)

omg so i was going to react to this forever ago bc I loved the idea but then I was like. i need to have more brain cells to respond to this to accurately explain my thoughts. and then I forgot.

ANYWAYS im here now <3

i dont work with isekai aus often because i didn't really. know what they were for a while but I figured it out alright. i don't know why I don't google it but its a pride thing at this point

i think they should get thrown into the world, visionless and defenseless. let's say they get thrown into mondstadt just cause that's my fav region. they end up in windrise and right next to that hillychurl camp to the right of the tree and tanaka wants to go fight the mitachurl but gets held back by the collar by ennoshita okay he's not stupid enough to let him go

theyre just standing there, figuring out where the hell they are

honestly. i think they end up running into a knight or adventurer (also confused as to what they're wearing) and escorts them to the city

unpopular opinon: NOTHING happens

i dont mean nothing at all but like. them being there doesn't break the entire world as it is its just. mundane but in such a FUN way

i dont think anyone in particular ends up with a vision but I think suga and takeda would be very interested in learning how it works. daichi or asahi has to stay with the 2nd years at all times to make sure noya or tanaka aren't harassing jean (she deals with enough shit actually). both pass out when lisa low key flirts w them (shes just messing with them tho its not anything crazy)

ukai? good buds with diluc and charles and the angel's share after a while. hinata LOVES timmie and is a tcg GOD. befriends diona doing that

yachi and kiyoko spend a lot of time in the knights library with lisa chatting and eventually join the adventurers guild part time and go take some commissions once in a while together. sometimes takeda tags along to make sure they're safe (he doesn't do much)

tsukki and yamaguchi also become tcg gods and end up meeting a few people through that, and really want to explore around some of the other nations, so they make a field trip and go south to liyue. chaos ensues there and hinata falls in love w beidou (not in a romantic way just in an appreciation way) and is excited about becoming a pirate

i have so many thoughts. there's so many and I think their relationships with each of the characters would be so FUN. everyone knows them as the weird squad of guys that isn't really from anywhere but everyone appreciates anyway

[missmonsters2]

Hey van, I've loved ur work for so long now you're one of the reasons why I started writing fics on here in the first place cuz I'm a sucker for angst, fluff and the spice, I was just wondering if you have any advice for feeling like ur work isnt good enough like how a series/oneshot you've worked rlly hard on and it's not getting barley any attention? Idk I know we shouldn't focus on the notes and all but it's hard not to like I love getting feedback/attention on my work! Especially when it's nice comments and those comments that tell u which part they liked the most. Idk. I still have fun w creating things as I always do but I hate when I let those feelings get to me. Do u have any advice on how to deal with that? As someone who's been a writer on tumblr for many years? Hope it's ok to ask this <33

Hiiii!

Thank you so much for supporting my work! :)

Honestly, this is very hard for me to give advice on because I also struggle with it a lot. I've more or less have come to accept that posting on tumblr is just very hit or miss because:

you have to rely on being in the tags or more reblogs for new people to see

more notes means you have a higher chance of making it to the top posts in that tag

Your post has to have the correct formatting or you need to know how to post correctly to make it to the latest post page in the tags.

You need to know the trend of your tumblr & tags (i.e. when are your followers most active? What time do you see the most notes at, on avg when do you see the tags most active, etc)

I also don't only post on tumblr. I have an AO3 account that I prefer posting on at times because their search, tag, and, filter system is waaaay more superior to Tumblr's.

Another thing is that while I do write things I'm interested in, I also look at what tropes or topics are trending in the fandom to incorporate into my work and put them in the summary or funny lil warning tags. You only really have a few seconds to grab a reader's attention with your summary + warning tags.

I know it's hard to not focus on the notes, but you have to also accept that the amount of notes doesn't reflect the amount of effort you've put into your work. It's not a reflection if it's 'good' or 'bad'.

Sometimes, I'll spend weeks/months writing something just for it to do poorly. Sometimes I'll spend 30 mins on the toilet writing smth and posting without even editing and it'll blow up.

Posting on tumblr is like 10% consistency 90% luck unfortunately.

[libertineangel]

Hi im very. Intoxicated rn so I'm sorry for any incoherence. But I feel you on the miserable-ness of going to shit alone. The only reason I'm able to not do that is bc I have a partner now but that only works Sometimes bc him and I have incredibly different ideas of fun so I'm Still going to shit all by myself most of the time bc I have no idea how to make friends. And I only have my partner bc we fucking met online and realized we clicked in person, it was a sheer stroke of pure luck lol

This shit sucks and I'm so sorry you have to deal with it. I wish I had advice but I have no idea how to meet people. I haven't even tried dating/friendship apps bc I know that I'm just a fundamentally weird person t get to know and idk if it's trauma or the autism that makes me like that but man. It sucks. Being in a crowded roo. Where everyone has someone to be with is so fucking isolating and horrible and not something I want anyone to go through and I'm sorry that you're dealing w this too

I hope you find people you can go out with. For what it's worth I think you'd be so cool to go to stuff with and I'd probably try to talk to you if I saw you at a show or something (and I got over the New People Anxiety that comes w being autistic and weird in public) but alas, I'm in america.

Best of luck to you, I hope you find your people

Thanks, I appreciate the thought, and likewise you have my sympathy, even in my prior relationship I also still did pretty much everything alone and it was not ideal. It's absolutely a good call not to bother trying to find people on apps though, take my word for it haha, having tried a ton of them for over a year it was a thoroughly miserable experience that left me feeling even worse than before. But yeah being the only person alone in a room really is a specific kind of horrible, to look around and see everyone else has somehow succeeded and wonder how the fuck they did it, why every attempt I make so completely fails, yeah it ain't fun.

Doesn't help as well that I have such minimal experience doing things any other way that I literally just don't know what to do or how to act in the rare instances I'm not alone, like it turns out that if you never socialise outside the education system between the ages of 10 and 19 you end up severely ill-equipped to do so as an adult, like unless someone else is willing to do the bulk of the talking and generally lead the entire social engagement I am pretty bland company because I'm so used to being entirely in my own head when I'm out that I just do not know how to do anything else, I never learnt the scripts or developed the necessary social instincts, so even if I did ostensibly find people I might get along with enough to actually regularly spend time with it's hard to imagine them wanting to expend the necessary effort to do so.

[queenlua]

these notes are extremely delightful, tyty for typing them up!

i'm appending some misc scattered thoughts of my own (similarly: ymmv, this is just my own fun reyson babbling, i'll fully grant some of my reads on him are idiosyncatic, etc):

-> anger/revenge/stubbornness is so central to Reyson's arc that i do find myself having to consciously remind myself sometimes that—he IS capable of chill! and when he's calm and safe and not over-apologizing, he's legit a pretty sweet, cool dude. his supports with Tormod are my favorite for this—Reyson storms off in a huff at the end of support B, sure, but he takes "a small child is the leader of the fabled resistance movement" totally in stride, and he spends time explaining to Tormod in great detail why his magic Doesn't Work Like That (w/ the vibe of, like, idk the cute mathematician uncle explaining möbius strips to an eager precocious kiddo can you tell i've been on a tom stoppard kick lately, he treats Tormod seriously!), and when Tormod suggests one day laguz and beorc may live in harmony, Reyson says it's "hard to imagine" but doesn't get prickly at all. when he's not feeling under threat, he's generous & eloquent, sharing knowledge and resources (invites a kid he barely knows to the sacred homeland of his people...!) too bad Reyson has a pretty persistent besieged mindset, eh

-> actually, related to the Tormod supports, i think it's cute he's touchy about the implication that money would play any factor into whether or not he helps people quite the twin to Naesala there eh

-> his supports with Ike have a very similar vibe! reyson is vulnerable with him in an unselfconscious, relaxed, confident way. he mentions the lil things he's been doing here and there to try to keep in fighting shape, he volunteers the hilarious-but-also-kinda-humiliating story about shattering his own damn hand, he kinda blathers on about his diet... feels like at least an "A- tier dude i'd hit it off with at a bar" in terms of vibes (i spend a lot of time talking to strangers at bars, ok, i have a whole tier thing going).

-> (aside, re: the opaqueness of Reyson's thoughts when he's saying "My apologies, Ike. Though I knew this was coming... It's still... difficult." -> my read of this (admittedly yeah very unclear) bit is that Reyson's having a moment of emotional overwhelm at all of it—leanne kidnapped, tibarn off fighting without him, reyson himself in the middle of all this chaotic energy and facing the very physical fatiguing effects of it, and moreover he's dealing with the disorientation that comes from switching from being protected to being on the battlefield, fighting—in some way, yes, he "knew this was coming," in that all of that is the kind of thing you sign up for when you decide you're throwing yourself into a war. the kind of thing he's been pushing for, likely, most the years he was on Phoenicis. but even if you're prepared for it, it probably feels like shit, and he's not going to show weakness or break his facade in front of Tibarn, that relationship has too much bundled up in front of it—but he can be Stoically Vulnerable for a sec in front of someone like Ike. i get it, dude, i have both broken down in front of a rando AND had a rando break down in front of me simply because i was The Engineer Who Happened To Be Wandering The Office That Night (And Had No Idea What The Fuck The Other Guy Was Going On About))

((...i might've just had a revelation why i'm struggling with my reyson/ike wip and how to fix it, damn, this rules))

-> and i imagine those chill aspects of himself get to come more to the forefront during the post-FE10 peacetime, hence his ending card:

Reyson was worked hard as a leader in the new laguz nation. His iron resolve under a pretty face was suited for politics.

yeah, he probably is suited for politics once he chills a bit. dude's downright charming

(i mean. assuming there is peace post-FE10, which I DO NOT but i'll freely grant i'm fighting against canon there, lol, don't be like me)

-> im love reybson

I’ve noticed multiple fic writers remark that they find reyson’s voice a little difficult to get a handle on, and I have written So Much reyson content. so I wanted to vomit my thoughts on what stands out in my mind when writing reyson :3 (this isn’t intended as a “how to” or whatever, just my personal perspective. enjoy a long thing)

PATH OF RADIANCE

reyson is a very temperamental character, but he is also quite proud and well-spoken. even at his worst, experiencing some very extreme emotional states, he is almost never incoherent with rage or grief. the closest he gets, that I can remember, is in PoR ch 15, when naesala shows him the still-desolate serenes forest, he comes out with a few trailing fragments (after which he regains some composure):

“The voice of the forest is still. Why... How did this...”

he also doesn’t threaten very much, compared to most other characters. he’s fiery, and he might sometimes say that people (humankind, eg, or izuka) will “pay” for their past actions, but he’s probably conscious of the fact that he can’t really back up physical threats. instead, when enraged, he tends to curse eloquently:

“...Unforgivable. How...how can they do things like this. Cursed humans ... What did this forest do? What did my clan do...” - PoR, ch 15 “Naesala, you wretch... Curse your eyes! How dare you do this to me...” - PoR, ch 16

he does, however, often falter. I know ellipses are basically their own character in the tellius games, but reyson’s PoR dialogue often suggests to me that he is muttering passionately to himself, or else forcing words out with some labor.

he also lapses into Ancient, seemingly at moments of great shock or disorientation (when he reunites with leanne, eg, or the same scene as above, when he sees serenes). re: this and the above, it’s worth remembering that the Modern Tongue is his second language. I like to think that his frequent hesitations may be an aspect of this.

his pride has some notable and obvious weak points. in PoR, he objects heartily to tibarn sending janaff & ulki along to protect him. after that, ike mentions to ulki that reyson “kept apologizing”. indeed, reyson seems like a bit of an over-apologizer - when it comes to tibarn and the hawks specifically, although he also humbles himself before naesala in ch 15 (whoops). in some cases, his apologies seem proud enough - it’s a noble thing, after all, to be able to apologize when necessary, as well as to have a strong sense of obligation (to the hawks, also to naesala, also to ike). but that he “kept apologizing”, over something that wasn’t even his decision, suggests something a bit more pathological. reyson presents as a proud creature, but his survivor’s guilt, and his sense of being a defenseless burden, are made obvious. and he displays particular deference to tibarn, whom he seems to regard as an authority figure - although not so much of an authority figure that he can’t be argued with or gainsaid. (see below.)

ymmv on this, but related: I interpret reyson as something of a people-pleaser, especially as of PoR. in addition to the apologizing vis a vis the hawks, it’s almost heartbreakingly easy for naesala to manipulate him throughout their whole arc. anytime reyson criticizes him or expresses doubt, all naesala has to do is invoke their old friendship, and reyson seems to fold more or less instantly. (reminder: reyson is a heart-reader. naesala engages him in all this nonsense with the intent of tricking him and selling him to a slaveowner. reyson is 100% correct to have doubts, and should know this. naesala is gaslighting him. but he wants desperately to believe that naesala is his friend.)

Reyson: Naesala! Naesala: Yes? Reyson: Thank you. For everything you've done. I... I appreciate it. Naesala: Don't be ridiculous. We're old friends, are we not? Reyson: Right you are! Old friend.

abandonment issues are a real bitch, huh

after leanne is kidnapped by the black knight, tibarn approaches reyson, and verbally takes responsibility for the incident. reyson attempts to tell him that it’s fine, but tibarn brushes him off, perhaps out of shame and guilt. this follows:

Reyson: Tibarn, may the fortunes of war be with you. Tibarn: And you as well. Don't try anything too dangerous. (Exit Tibarn) Reyson: ... Ike: ...Reyson? Reyson: My apologies, Ike. Though I knew this was coming... It's still... difficult. Ike: Don't apologize. You've nothing left to prove to me. Reyson: ...Ah... ... Ike: ...

this little moment is somewhat opaque to me. when reyson says “I knew this was coming”, it’s kind of unclear what he means. but he’s very affected: I think this is the most lost-for-words we ever see him. it seems like he’s referring to tibarn’s rather brusque departure, but he and tibarn have already been separated prior to this. it might be that he finds it exceptionally difficult to be on the receiving end of tibarn’s guilt and accept his apologies (“wait a minute I’M the one who apologizes to YOU”), and is upset that they’ve parted on such unsettled terms. (he also apologizes to ike here, for no overly apparent reason - for being lost in thought, I guess)

reyson is also: very stubborn. despite his moments of overapologizing or lowkey fawning, once he gets an idea in his head, it is difficult to argue him out of it. eg: when he learns that naesala is on the battlefield, he refuses to speak a word to him. eg: tibarn, upon delivering reyson to ike as a party member, drily remarks that reyson insisted upon this “quite unreasonably”. see also:

reyson & tibarn’s reunion in serenes forest, in PoR ch 17 pt 4, I think makes for a good reytib case study re: pre-canon and mid-PoR rey:

Tibarn: Reyson! Are you well? Reyson: Tibarn! How did you-- Tibarn: Nealuchi told us everything. Reyson: Oh... Allow me to apologize. I left on my own without a word to you, and this is what happened. Tibarn: As long as you're unharmed, all is well. Let's go home.

(despite having been the one victimized, reyson’s first reaction - after establishing how tibarn found him - is to apologize to tibarn, sort of stiffly; implicitly for the recklessness of acting without leave, and/or the inconvenience of needing rescue. tibarn reassures him.) (one must wonder if they’ve had similar conversations before.) (they have definitely had similar conversations before.)

Reyson: Please, give me a little time. I cannot allow these humans to remain in the forest. Tibarn: I understand how you feel, but we're completely outnumbered. Let us wait for another day-- Reyson: Once I stand at the altar, I can take care of them. Every one of them. Tibarn: You can't mean... Are you thinking of using the forbidden magic? Reyson: ...Yes. I will sing those monsters the dirge of ruin.

(chilling calm, on reyson’s part - he outlines his plan with self-assured clarity, as if reassuring tibarn in turn: “no, see, it’s okay, I can simply commit an affront to nature and destroy them all, every single one, and also myself, and then things will be fine” babygirl things will not be fine)

Tibarn: Are you mad?! You mustn't! I can't allow it! Reyson: With permission or without, I do what I must! It is retribution for genocide! Retribution for this forest!

(tibarn reacts with outrage, and attempts to assert authority. perhaps this isn’t the response reyson wanted or expected - despite his apologetic demeanor just moments ago, he is provoked to righteous anger. he counters tibarn passionately, and directly states his intent to disobey. stubborn lad fronts like he defers to tibarn, but doesn’t, really. (see also, again, reyson making tibarn bring him back to ike)

Tibarn: Reyson! You must not let yourself be ruled by despair! Each member of the heron tribe is an embodiment of balance! Do this, and you warp your very existence! Reyson: That's what they all said... My family. My tribe. And then...they died. The humans were drunk with joy. They laughed! They sang! ...And then they slaughtered us like livestock. My mother, my brother, my elder sisters... Even my infant sister, Leanne! All killed in a single night. Tibarn: Reyson... Reyson: I know. This thing I intend to do brings dishonor to my house. And yet ... I cannot forgive. And their past actions weren't enough; now, they violate the sanctity of the forest without a trace of regret! Accursed humans... I will never forgive them!

(tibarn invokes the Heron Ideal, what herons are “supposed” to be like - creatures who don’t defend themselves. this most of all seems to trigger reyson, who now describes the most traumatic event of his life in a succinct rhetorical monologue, in order to explain why he must act. the fact that he knows what tibarn is going to say before he says it suggests, again, that they have had similar conversations before. tibarn was going to make an appeal to honor, which hawks value; reyson brushes this off, so implicitly he 1) values revenge over the ideals of his people, and/or 2) thinks himself an unfit representative of heronkind anyway. self-destruction and disregard for his own safety is a major theme in his character arc & history - see also his supports with ike - but it seems he habitually goes about it in considered, methodical ways: even acts that might seem impulsive still have logic and thought behind them, albeit very skewed logic. he is not being portrayed as a lunatic here. even in the throes of self-destructive fury, he elucidates himself eloquently. like a prince, one might say.)

Tibarn: Don't you think we understand that? Reyson: ... Janaff: That's right! Prince Reyson, there's no need for you to reject your honor based on the likes of them! Ulki: The tragedy of the herons... The horror and pain of that night...lives on in all of us.

(tibarn coming in with the counterargument of all time: “yeah dude I know.” also I like to imagine tibarn just elbowed hitherto-silent janaff & ulki in the ribs to get them to chime in. to this, reyson says… nothing. ymmv on why, but to me this indicates some self-absorption: it’s difficult for him to see beyond his own pain. the suggestion that the hawks, too, grieve the serenes massacre - that he is NOT in fact alone in his suffering, that retribution doesn’t rest solely on his shoulders - is disruptive to him, and perhaps causes him to shut down a little.)

Tibarn: Let's return to Phoenicis, and think of a plan. You are right. This will not stand. The full power of the hawk nation is behind you. The humans will pay. Reyson: ...As you wish...

(from here tibarn is able to get reyson in hand - by offering empathy for his pain, promising to appease his desire for revenge, and suggesting that this is only a delay; in short, by further establishing that reyson isn’t alone. it seems only semi-successful, though. reyson capitulates, but only reluctantly - he may or may not believe that what the hawks promise will be adequate.)

RADIANT DAWN

in RD, we get less of reyson (boo scrapped supports booo) but the reyson we do get has undergone some visible growth while still retaining key aspects of his initial character. overall, he seems a more self-assured, confident, stable person. his purpose is in family (both hawks & herons) and friends, rather than the grimdark stuff. he still displays plenty of his signature stubbornness, and pride, and a bit of temper. he’s also at his best and most physically/magically powerful throughout a lot of RD, thanks to ashera’s judgment. some notes:

his chief attribute seems to be stubbornness: when he goes to check on tibarn following the phoenicis massacre, he comes in dashing ahead of janaff and ulki, who are begging him to wait and leave tibarn alone for a while. his concern for tibarn overrides all other considerations, including, seemingly, tibarn’s own will (also results in the infamous had-to-tie-him-to-the-bed joke).

he is still well-spoken; he exhibits more focus and restraint when he curses people, although he does certainly still curse people (naesala)

instead of apologizing to the hawks for being a burden, he seems to have developed a more conscientious sense of loyalty (a hawkish sort of honor, one might say). his empathy for the phoenicis massacre, as a survivor of genocide himself, isn’t really explicitly unpacked, but afterwards he refuses to be escorted to safety in gallia:

Reyson: I've lived with the hawk tribe for twenty years. They are my family. I'll... I'll stay here and fight.

tibarn no longer openly orders janaff & ulki to guard reyson. instead, the two beg ike not to let reyson know their purpose, and to just play it off like they’re joining the mercenaries. it seems that reyson, despite no longer being self-destructive, still doesn’t like being babysat. if he knew, would he be apologetic about it again? or would he get annoyed, which the hawks don’t want because they’re all heron-whipped by now? I’m inclined to think it’s the latter these days. (worth noting that tibarn is knowingly going against reyson’s wishes here. worrywart)

before singlehandedly reviving duke renning - an unprecedented act- reyson reassures tibarn, saying not to worry for him because he’s “grown a lot”. contains multitudes

something more often neglected: reyson in PoR displays some kind of sad naïveté, especially where naesala is concerned; conversely, in RD, he has moments that are almost childlike, with a much happier affect. this exchange between him and tibarn often gets eclipsed by how fuckoff gay they are, but I like the implication that herons are a little bit incomprehensible to normal people, and this can manifest in a bit of cloud cuckoolander behavior (I wonder how else it might have manifested in all those years he was less stable):

Tibarn Reyson! Where are you!? Reyson: Over here, Tibarn. Tibarn: What are you doing so early in the morning? Reyson: I'm hunting for treasure! Tibarn: Could you repeat that?

last thing: reyson is interesting in dialogue with ashnard as well as micaiah. he doesn’t exactly argue with them, nor do much raging. if given the opportunity, he questions them almost socratically - he asks ashnard what he believes and why; he does the same thing with micaiah when they’re at odds, and then presents his own thesis (more gently and sympathetically with micaiah than with ashnard, obviously):

Reyson: I am Reyson. My brother told me about you. That is why I'm here. Please pull back your troops. Our enemy is not Daein. This is not your fight. Am I not correct? Micaiah: I know how you feel... (…) But I must keep fighting. Reyson: Why is that? Micaiah: This fight is my king's will. (…). I believe that our king will lead the people of Daein to happiness. Reyson: ...I see. I understand your position. Please accept my apology for asking the impossible. Micaiah: What? What do you mean? Reyson: You are fighting to protect your beliefs. I understand that now. But remember that we also cannot, and will not, pull back. We both carry a heavy burden. That's why we're here.

I just think it’s fun, the difference between mid-PoR “blinded by hatred nobody-could-possibly-understand-my-pain” Reyson, and end-PoR/RD “let me make sure I have my enemy’s rationale down correctly so I can respond with devastating precision” Reyson. (notably, in PoR, he extends this courtesy to naesala after the summit.)

anyway that’s a big mess of a post but maybe someone will find it a little inspirational or something if they feel like writing reyson. & pls do write about reyson, whether you take my analysis into account or not. pls. inflict situations on my most precious boy. 🕊️