#why do bad things keep happening to mediocre people I thought only teens and the mad were main character materials

[xiyade]

I got called to the office on the weekend to help with tickets and visas. Manager asked where he can buy cardboard boxes from. Anyone with less anxiety can you please tell me if I should look for a new job?

[mazeinthemiroh]

guardian angel

Pairing: Seonghwa x female! reader

Genre: romance, angst, fluff, slight crack, highschool! au, bad boy! au, happy ending

Word count: 3.8k

Requested?: yes

Warnings: cursing, a lot of cliche themes, mentions of smoking and drinking, elements of crack, potential sexual assault (doesn't actually happen), suggestive, wooyoung being his awesome self

Summary: Seonghwa is known for being a delinquent. Nothing phases, and no one messes with him. But there is someone who he is drawn to. Someone he can't quite keep off his mind.

Author's Notes: I had so much fun writing this you have no idea. It took way longer to write than I wanted but I need it to be perfect. This fic does have some mature theme so do be warned! Thank you so much anon for requesting this. I really hope you all enjoy. Let me know what you think!! <3

The whole concept of having a guardian angel was comforting. intriguing, almost. Having someone watching over, protecting you, perhaps without you even knowing. That was a comforting thought.

Or at least for you it was. But in this compulsory religious studies class, most kids were seconds away from falling asleep. The teacher droned on with her monotone voice, flicking through the PowerPoint presentation, which looked like a half-hearted effort, put together last night.

Not that it mattered. No one was paying attention anyway, all except the handful of teens who wanted to get the best out of their mediocre education system.

"Silence please" the teacher mumbled weakly at the class. Poor Miss had no presence, no impact. The hard-working students, such as yourself, usually sitting in the front row, could usually hear her feeble voice. But they weren't the ones who needed to hear it.

"She said shut up!"

A voice with authority. Everyone collectively gasped, quick to close their lips now as they turned to face the principal, who walked in not moments ago. She was the one to be feared.

And yet there were still some people who just didn't fear her enough.

"You boys at the back" she snarled as she pointed over to the back of the classroom.

Ahh, the boys at the back. There's such a thing to be said about a high school's social hierarchy. It followed the same, cliche, stereotypical pattern as every American high school rom-com movie does. It is the same each time, each year. At the bottom: nerds, geeks, unconventionally attractive pupils, or just simply people who strive to succeed academically which for some reason makes you a loser. And at the top? Hot, rich mean girl gangs who absorb their power by thriving off the fear of the 'low-lives' below them. And, of course, the boys at the back.

"Why are you still talking? Did you not hear me the first time?"

One of them mumbled and snickered but it was hard to tell who. Or at least, for the principle it was.

It was quite clearly Wooyoung. Known for never knowing when to shut up, Wooyoung was the one to not understand when things went too far, or when a situation was too serious. And he was the one to get away with everything.

"Who's still talking?"

Wooyoung decides, the clown that he is, to turn to Seonghwa in this instance, with the usual shit-eating grin on his face, making it seem like Seonghwa was the accomplice.

"Was it you, pretty boy? To the front of the class now!"

Seonghwa glared daggers into Wooyoung as he reluctantly grabbed his stuff and got up to walk right to the front.

Even just walking through the class, you could see how much power Seonghwa would hold. Girls would giggle and swoon over him, whispering to each other about how good he looked today. Boys would cough awkwardly as he walked passed them, pretending not to be even remotely attracted to him. And the nerds at the front wouldn't even dare look at him. Especially you.

Which was typical because the only desk that was free at the front for him to sit at was the one directly next to yours.

So, as you screamed internally at yourself for not choosing another seat at the start of the year, Seonghwa settled down next to you, throwing his stuff on the desk and sitting back leisurely on his seat. he let out a long, dramatic sigh.

"Good. Now the rest of you need to get on, you will be tested on this!" Everyone let out a low groan at this, and then the principal promptly left without another word.

The usual rumble of conversation started up again. You stared downwards at the work in front of you, trying to concentrate on something, anything that wasn't the hot guy next to you.

"Hey."

Your heart stopped. Breath hitched up in your throat as you strangled on a previous inhale. Is he talking to me? You thought to yourself. Eyes wide with fear, anticipation, and excitement, you decided to do the unthinkable.

You turned towards him.

Never had it occurred to you that, not only was he talking to you, but he was looking at you too. So as you mustered up the courage to turn your head towards him, you were faced with two, large, deadly brown orbs staring at you, eating you alive by the intensity of his gaze. This was the closest he had been to you. And the bravest you had ever been to dare to take his features in this close. You couldn't help yourself. Eyes trailing along his smooth, tanned skin, jawline so sharp you were convinced you could cut yourself on it if you touch it. Jet black hair styled to frame his face so expertly; so precise was the wisps of his fringe, and although he kept brushing his hair back with his long fingers, the stubborn stray hairs would remain rested neatly on his forward. Perfect. Strong cheekbones, magnificently angled nose, luscious lips that hid a devious tongue.

And all this time you were staring at him. But by God did he stare back. Reality only hit you once you were done drinking in his features, savouring the human painting before you as if he was the last painting left on earth. You only blinked your eyes downwards once you were conscious and very much aware that your wide eyes and agape mouth had made his eyes sparkle with curiosity.

"Hi" was all you could muster. A feeble, pathetic excuse of a word that he could barely hear. He felt the corner of his lips pull up at your response.

"What are we actually supposed to be learning?"

You were surprised at his question. Did he actually wanna do the work? Or did he just want to talk to you? Or.. or... what was happening?? You blinked in response before clearing your throat.

"Well, today's lesson is about angels. You know, the different types of angels, and different religious interpretations of what they are like. Miss just finished talking about Guardian angels and-"

"Oh, I don't actually care sweetie," he chuckled lowly as you blushed ferociously at the sudden pet name. You suspected he was mocking you, but all the while his eyes held a warm curiosity as he continued to gaze at you. "I don't believe in angels or anything like that, tsk."

Perhaps he was passing the time. Making the lesson go faster for himself by making conversation. That's how you viewed it anyway.

"Why did you ask then?"

Your sudden boldness shocked you both, but you hid it well. His eyebrow quirked up with interest.

"I just wanted to that pretty voice of yours," he hummed, his tone a mixture of playful banter and flirtatious intent. It made your cheeks feel warm.

"Do you believe in any of this crap then?" He queried, suddenly looking away and taking a much more serious interest in his broken pencil, which he played with masterfully and with great skill between the fingers of his right hand.

You tried not to get defensive about his ignorant and outright rude attitude. Part felt that that's what he wanted. He wanted to lure you into a trap, an argument, and all just for his amusement.

"I like the idea of guardian angels," you paused to look away from him, your gaze sinking to your desk again, "having someone to watch over you like that... I don't know... the whole idea makes me feel less... less lonely."

That was your truth. This wasn't the first conversation you envisioned having with him. It felt a bit strange, a bit peculiar. Too deep too quick, especially with someone like him.

You expected him to scoff at this considering his previous remark. But you felt him gaze at you once more. He didn't tut, he didn't hum in response. He just turned away without another word.

That was the first time you interacted with Seonghwa. And you had a feeling, deep down, that it would be your last.

I mean, who were you kidding? You both guys ran in different circles. Had different lives, different friends, different... everything.

You knew this, and you knew this well. So why were you still thinking about him?

You felt he was undoubtedly out-of-your-league in all aspects. Looks, attitude, social status. Stuff that meant absolutely nothing to you but supposedly meant everything to everybody else. It was infuriating to tolerate these mindsets on a daily basis and yet you find yourself enduring and getting swallowed but the same expectations these mindsets create.

As you wallow in a stream of these thoughts you do not think for a second that the boy you now had eyes for - the delinquent who took a shine to you for reasons you could not explain - would be thinking about you in the same way.

But he was. And he hated it.

He wasn't a ladies' man like Wooyoung was. Wooyoung thrived when given attention from a pretty girl and he would do anything to impress them. Seonghwa was just not like that.

Rather, he preferred to flirt around, subtly. Throw a few winks here and there, biting his lip for too long as he made fleeting eye contact with as many girls as he could. He was quiet in his flirtatious endeavours, but he never really meant anything.

So he doesn't know why he starts feeling this way about you.

"What's the matter with you then?" Wooyoung nudged his friend, who seemed quieter than usual. The usual gang of boys met on the rooftop of the art building in their school. They would usually stay back well after hours, long until it gets dark. No one knew they were there, and jumping the gates was easy when they need to exit.

So that's where they were, vaping sloppily and drinking uncontrollably. The bottles of beers accumulated around the overflowing rubbish bin. It was surprising that no one caught on to their activities considering they were shamelessly loud, with zero fear of getting found out, perhaps because they got away with everything.

"Nothing, I'm fine," Seonghwa shrugged his friend off, staring down at the glass bottle in his hand.

Wooyoung isn't stupid. He knows when something isn't quite right. Better yet, he is persistent. Stubborn, even. Annoyingly determined to chip away at you until you crack. He gets what he wants.

"Must be some lucky girl for you to be thinking about her so much," Wooyoung teased as the rest joined in to chuckle. Seonghwa scowled at the boy, glaring at him in a way that would send chills to someone's heart. It was a shame that he was glaring at Wooyoung, who was simply brimming with audacity. Seonghwa knew better than to get into an argument with him, so he just kept quiet.

What Wooyoung said made him think though. Why was he thinking about you? Why you, specifically? His calculating eyes shifted from one object to another as he tried to pattern in his mind some sound reasoning.

Perhaps it was the way you looked at him. Well, other people stared at his face on a daily. He just looked so perfect. So absolutely stunning. As Seonghwa looked back he realised you had the same gaze and yet something different. It was obvious you admired his appearance, perhaps even shocked when seeing him up close. However, he recalled a certain trace of curiosity. Of excitement. And as you stared at his face like this, he didn't realise was studying yours.

Yet, there was something in the way you interacted with him; the spike of boldness that shot out of you was something he didn't quite expect. Most girls either stammer like idiots when trying to talk to him, or they screech and giggle and touch him playfully when he doesn't want them to. There's no in-between. So admittedly, he was caught a bit off guard by how you responded to him.

And he liked being caught off guard.

It had been a long ass day and you were, quite frankly, fed up. With your last lesson just finished you were so, so ready to go. Shoving your notebooks into your already heavy bag, you were stopped by the teacher.

"Y/N, I was just wondering if you wanted to join some extracurricular activities? It would really boost up your grades and would make your CV look excellent-"

Ah yes, of course. Here comes the lecture all the bright pupils get which guilt trip them into joining some weird club that no one goes to. You've heard this all before, and you weren't considering it now. It's a shame your teacher caught you at the wrong time because you were barely able to keep your eyes open from pure exhaustion as she spoke to you.

"Thanks Miss, but I've been really busy lately.."

You could see the disappointment in her face but you were so done with the day that you didn't even care.

"Just think about it, okay?"

Heaving a sigh, you slung your bag over your shoulder while the teacher left the classroom.

You knew one of the boys was still there, lurking at the back somewhere. The same group of boys always stayed back and you couldn't possibly think why. And you didn't dare to ask.

"Hey, Princess~"

You couldn't pin that voice on a face. It sounded familiar, but all the boys' voices sounded the same. Only Wooyoung's voice stood out the most since he talked so damn much. And, of course, Seonghwa's...

"You joining a stupid little club for your favourite teacher, eh?"

It was so petty you could've laughed. You turned around to face whoever this boy was, and his name escaped you. His name didn't matter to you regardless.

It unnerved you that he was by himself. Sure, having a whole group of them sneer at you wasn't ideal, but being alone with this guy after school hours made you want to run. But you didn't.

Your unamused face made the boy chuckle as you stared directly into his eyes. You wish you hadn't looked there, because surely you must have looked terrified by now; how he stalked up to you with confidence and intensity of a crow attacking a fresh piece of roadkill.

You stood your ground.

"No, I decided not to."

End of conversation. Done. Dusted. Swept under the rug.

Surely?

He was at an uncomfortable distance now, too close for someone you don't know. And even closer for someone you didn't want to know.

"Good girl."

You shivered. The dread built up in the pit of your stomach.

"Still," he mused, "a strip club doesn't sound so bad."

He had you pressed up against the table as his hands started for the strap of your vest top, a finger curling around it as he slowly started to pull it down. You were paralysed. Eyes wide with fear and disbelief and confusion. You should've run, you told yourself. You should've run you stupid girl.

"Get your fucking hands off her!"

There was a voice, familiar in its depth, but not so familiar in its intensity and rage. Both of you snapped your head over to find Seonghwa, his eyes emoting the most indescribable anger someone could ever feel.

"What the fuck is wrong with you man, let us have our fu-"

It was too late. A fist thrown to the face was enough to send the boy flying. He was weak as he crashed down dramatically into one of the desks. Seonghwa moved to him and kept going. Punch, kick, slam. The boy would be bruised for weeks.

But he ran off anyway, stumbling out of the class. The heavy footfall of his feet echoed down the hall.

You and Seonghwa stared at each other in silence.

His eyes were full of regret. Regret that he didn't stay behind with his 'friend.' Regret that he let you see this violent side of him. Regret that he wasn't there for you. If he hadn't come in at the right time-

Your eyes were filled with sorrow, vision clouded by the beads of tears that formed at the bottom of your eyes. You had felt so alone, so out of your depth and in danger.

"Thank you so much," you burst into tears. You grabbed him and sunk your head into his chest and sobbed into the fabric of his t-shirt. Holding him close into a feeble, yet certain, hug. It was not something you intended to do, but in the overwhelming situation you found yourself in, you felt you owed him the world.

So a hug will do for now.

"Of course he's out of the group, what are you even saying? It's no problem! He was a twat anyway."

Wooyoung sucked on his lollipop with such passion and vigour that Seonghwa thought he was going to inhale and choke on it, which admittedly would've been quite funny.

They sat by themselves on the rooftop, dangling their feet over the edge. They could see the sunset very clearly. It was beautiful. Wooyoung teased that it was almost... romantic! Of course this caused to threaten to push him over the edge for.

"You really pummelled him in though. He's got a black eye and everything. I never thought you were the type," Wooyoung said through slurps, talking with his lollipop still in his mouth.

Seonghwa stared at the sun ahead, its rays giving his face an ethereal glow.

"I don't care."

There was a moment of silence. Seonghwa's eyes stared ahead.

"I can't let anything happen to her."

"Why though?"

"I don't know. I don't even know!"

"I do."

"Huh?"

"You L word her."

Wooyoung chose this moment to flutter his eyelashes mockingly at Seonghwa.

"Shut up."

"You do!"

"That doesn't make any sense I don't even know her."

Seonghwa may have said this but, in his heart, he knew he was wrong. Deep down he knew you. He had watched over you, observed the way you talk, what your interests are, what classes you liked the most that make your eyes light up, and what classes you hated and never put your hand up in. All from the back of the class, he would peak every now and then just to make sure you were okay. Like a guardian angel-

"Maybe you want to know her."

Seonghwa looked at his friend with an eyebrow quirked.

"How does your eyebrow not hurt from you doing that so much I will never know..."

"You're a pain in my ass, Wooyoung."

Seonghwa chuckled and gazed at Wooyoung fondly. It was nice having a friend like him to talk to about anything. Wooyoung can be crazy at times but he always has his back, that's for sure.

"Don't worry, I got this for you."

Seonghwa scrunched up his face in confusion.

"Wait wha-"

"Shhh, don't worry. I have an idea~"

"Not another one of your crazy-ass ideas."

"Don't worry. You're gonna love this one!"

The end of the day on the last day of term felt like such a rush. Nothing exciting happened but you didn't expect much to begin with.

"Bye, I'll see you after summer," you hugged one of your friends goodbye, giving them a squeeze. It would be lonely without them for all this time, as they were going on holiday. There was a certain emptiness you felt at the bottom of your heart when you watched them walk away. You felt there was nothing to look forward to until they returned. It was a shame.

The hallway was starting to lull down with its usual chaos and students fled the school as soon as the bell rang. One by one, students disappeared until only a few remained around you.

As you fiddled with the keys to your locker, on opening it a piece of paper slipped out of it.

Your eyes sparkle with curiosity as you leaned down to pick the paper up. It was small and folded. Your fingers worked at opening it up, revealing slanted handwriting in black biro pen:

'Meet me on the art room roof.

~ Your Guardian Angel'

Your eyes glossed over now, staring at the paper. It was hard for you to examine what you had felt. It wasn't disbelief or shock or confusion. It was certainty. Relief. Comfort.

Smiling to yourself, you did as you were instructed. There was a quickness in your step, a skip of hope and anticipation as you marched to the other side of the school.

Up the stairs to the art classroom, opening the fire exit door and up some more stone stairs, cold and loud with each footstep. And up you were, on the roof, the sky now open to you with open arms as you were embraced by a warm breeze.

There stood Seonghwa, his slicked back hair shining in the sun. His shirt was untucked and hanging over his black trousers, and he wore his usual white bomber jacket on his back, which you thought, at this moment, looked like two angel wings. Perhaps you were romanticising, but it was his fault.

His back was to you as he stood near the edge of the roof. It was like he was posing, like he was in a movie and this was his action shot. As the drone camera circulates around him, getting a 360 cinematic shot of him, his face would be revealed as daring, determined eyes shining in his passion. That's what you had imagined.

"Is this my guardian angel?"

There was no movement when he heard your voice. You expected him to turn around but maybe he had other plans. Maybe he wanted you to come to him. On debating about it in your mind, you decided to give in, shuffling closer until you were right beside him, staring out into the distance just like he did.

"I don't believe in that crap, you know that."

This statement didn't hurt you. His voice was soft, playful, almost melodic. There was a purposeful gentleness about his words in which no man had ever spoken to you before.

A silence was shared between you both, and you couldn't discern whether it was awkward or just simply... was.

"But I like the idea of it," he continued. "The whole idea makes me feel less... lonely."

You recognised your own words that you had said to him before, and suddenly the bubbling sensation of hope erupted in your heart.

He turned to you with a fond smile, and at that moment your eyes connected. You had never felt so at ease when gazing into someone's eyes before. Seonghwa had a warm reassurance that no one could quite match.

Pulling you close to him, he embraced you gently, head atop yours as you both gazed out at the view together. It felt so intimate, like you had both shared a secret, that could never be told to another soul. It felt safe, comfortable. It just felt right.

Secure in his arms, shielded, protected: that's where Seonghwa wanted you to be, always.

[insomniamamma]

Prickle: Ezra x F! Reader

A/n: Okay, so don’t know what the hell this is. I was trying to go to sleep a few days ago and this just kind of popped in there, the idea of Ez giving the reader a weird nickname. I swear I have a more serious, put together fic in the works, but this demanded my attention first. I meant this to be short, but I suck at keeping things short.

warnings: language, angst, mild violence, lil bit of fluff, no beta

______________________________________________________________________

He calls you Artichoke. Since hiring you on, Ezra has thrown a string of nicknames at you, mostly botanical or avian, some referencing things you have never heard of, and this is the one that stuck. Cee is Little Bird most of the time, until she indulges in teen-age surliness and then she's Channel Rat. You are Artichoke. Which would be fine, except you don't have the foggiest idea of what an artichoke is. Nothing about the word triggers anything in your brain.

You are not so well-travelled as Ezra and Cee. You grew up on Falnost, a dusty little fly speck of a moon, only colonized because it orbits a gas giant with lush rings, perfect for ice-mining operations. Falnost has one port city that caters to people who come downworld on leave. The rest is cattle and corn. Nothing to do but pull rocks out of the ground, dig irrigation ditches and spread the sandy dirt with live bacteria concentrates in hopes of convincing the ground to grow something. Not a place for fancy words or much beyond a standard technical education. You scrimped and saved and bought your passage off-world as soon as you could, and you've been drifting ever since. Puggart Bench was the closest you've been to civilization, and even that seemed overwhelming and a bit weird. You suspect artichoke is something from the inner worlds, but you have no idea what it could be. What if it's something bad, or nasty like a channel rat? What if Ezra's been making fun of you, calling you this name?           It started two drops ago on Sammana. You were there to harvest lattice corals. Sammana once had a deep liquid ocean, but now all that was left were vast, glittering salt-flats. It was hot on Sammana. The air, while not toxic, stank like sun-dried shit. The corals themselves were fragile and you had to dig through the salt-pan with hand tools to get to them. By the end of the first day, your hands were raw and sobbing from a hundred salt-burnt cuts. You were hired on as muscle, but Ezra's been teaching you the trade as well. Many hands make light work, he said, and dimpled at his own joke, being down one hand himself.           The dig did not go well. The corals you were finding were few and of mediocre quality at best. Enough to keep you fueled and flying, but little else. There was less than a cycle before you had to catch the slingback and even Ezra's mood was dark.             "I'm callin it," he said, after a small and brittle coral crumbled in his hand. "We got enough to get us onto the next job. Fueled and flying, right?"             "Fueled and flying," you echoed back, grabbing the railgun and taking point. Camp was some ways and the sun overhead felt like a physical weight grinding down on you. The railgun was heavy, sweat ran into your eyes and pooled under your body armor. So much miserable effort for so little reward. Today's pull was a pittance, a little extra fuel, a little extra data bandwidth and that's all. You swiped the sweat from your eyes for the hundredth time today. You were over it. Camp resolved itself out of the heat-glitter rising up from the salt crusted ground, the drop pod sitting in a crater of shattered salt, the tent next to it, hooked up to the pod's RTG by a thick braided cable. The tent's flaps were open. Someone was moving inside.             "Oh, hell no!" You pelted towards camp, railgun raised, the figure paused, and then continued rifling through the tent. He had your trophy case at his feet, what little you've been able to collect over the last cycles and this bastard meant to take all of it.            "Hands in the air motherfucker!" The thief dropped his haul and raised his hands. "The fuck out of the tent, right fucking now!" You felt Ezra and Cee behind you, heard their hard breaths.            "I didn't mean nothin," he says, "I thought this camp was abandoned--" And something snapped in you. Never in your life had you been this angry.            "Bullshit you did! Abandoned with the pod still hot?" You primed the railgun, and aimed through the scope right between this dumbass's eyes, and then you felt Ezra's hand on your arm. He spoke low and close to your ear.            "Ease up on the rails, there, Artichoke, ain't no need for bloodshed yet." And for as angry as you were, you did as he asked, relaxed your stance some. Ezra walked toward the kid, no mercenary, this, just some dumb local.            "My friend here wants to shoot you," Ezra said, "And she is well within her rights to do so. We have toiled long to get what little we could out of this bitter ground."            "I'm sorry!" said the would-be thief, "I didn't mean nothin--"            "What you meant or didn't mean is not the issue here," said Ezra, "What you do next is going to determine whether you walk away or I tell my over-eager associate here to indulge her violent nature. Here's what is going to happen. My partner, Cee, knows every stitch of equipment we own. You  will dump your pack for her, turn out your pockets and give back everything that's ours. One aggressive move and Artichoke here will kill you. Rely on it. You do what I say and you get to walk away with your life. Clear?"           "Clear," he said. He dumped his pack as instructed and Cee picked through the contents, reclaiming several items.           "We're good,"said Cee, and gave the thief a shove, "Get out of here." He turned and started running, you fired a few shots that crackled into the salt-pan at his heels.           Later, as you broke camp, you and Ezra got into the first real argument you'd had. So far you've managed to keep things professional, but the anger was still there, hot and pulsing behind your eyes.           "You should have let me shoot him,"           "It doesn't always have to come down to shooting," said Ezra, "Things turned out right in the end. We kept our harvest and that foolish boy gets to keep on breathing."            "He was trying to steal our whole harvest," your voice rose, "Gods be damned, Ezra, you know what that means. You of all people--"            "He was a kid," Ezra's eyes were wide and dark, "Not much older than our Cee. Would you have that kind of blood on your hands?" There was no good answer. Ezra had all the words, you struggled with them. There was no way to speak back. Ezra sensed something shift in you, something in the slump of your shoulders. He laid his hand on your upper arm, gave a brief squeeze.           "It's alright, Artichoke, We're all safe. It's alright."

          Since that crazy day on Sammana, you've been Artichoke, and you don't know what to make of it. You can't ask Ezra directly. Ezra has ten different words for everything. You don't always understand him. You don't know if he's doing it on purpose, but sometimes he makes you feel stupid. You can imagine his self-satisfied smile as he explains the why of your nickname. You're not about to ask him. So you decide to ask Cee.           It's morning and you hand Cee a dented metal cup with fake coffee in it. Ezra shoots you a look and you shoot him one right back. You shouldn't give her coffee, he'd said, it'll stunt her growth, to which you'd said, Kevva's sakes, she was processing Jhata Balu at twelve. I think she can handle a cup of coffee. Ezra is a morning person, one of the things about him that infuriates you. You and Cee have barely joined the land of the living and he's up and about and doing maintenance on his suit. One handed, he struggles, but you've learned not to offer help. You did once and the look he gave you made you want to strap your body armor a little tighter. So you just tune out the string of muttered curses coming from the other end of the tent. You've learned to tell when Ezra is talking to himself.           "Hey, Cee?"           "Mmmh?"           "What's an artichoke?" You pitch your voice low, but there's heat prickling in your neck. Cee sips her coffee and smiles, a slow, one sided grin, like she's been expecting the question.            "It's a Terran plant," she says, and pulls her battered notebook and pen from under her pillow, furrows her brow as she sketches. She turns the notebook so you can see. "It looks kind of like this." And now you are even more confused, presenting with what looks like a scaly ball on a thick stem. What this has to do with you, you can't even guess.

          "Why does he call me that?" You ask, and Cee just stares over her coffee cup like she's staring into the black hole at the center of the galaxy, "Cee! Why does he call me that?" Cee smirks and jerks her head up. And the fact of the relative silence hits you, Ezra's muttered string of curses is done and you hear him chuckle close and behind. You bow your head, heat rushing to your face. 

          "If you wanted to know the reason for your moniker you could have just asked," says Ezra, you're not looking at him, but you can practically hear him smirk. He's gone and done it again, set a snare of words, and you've bumbled into it. You clench your hands and jaw and turn to face him, best to absorb whatever little humiliation he has planned for you so you can get back to your coffee.           "Fine," you say, and it comes out angrier than intended. It is too early in the morning for this. "Why do you call me Artichoke?" His brows furrow briefly and his smirk softens into a warmer smile, the kind that crinkles his eyes at the corners. He squeezes your upper arm, like on Sammana, but there's no body armor between you.           "I call you Artichoke because I believe that, like an artichoke, you conceal beneath your prickly exterior a tender, delectable heart." He drops you a wink and then jams his helmet on and out the tent flaps into the sticky heat of day.          "Good one, Ez," Cee calls to his retreating back and the purr of the zippers pulled back up, "Real subtle."           "What. The. Utter fuck?" You mutter into your cup of shit fake coffee. You shake your head. You and Cee suck down your coffee in silence for a beat.           "You know he likes you, right?" Says Cee.           "Well, I should hope so," you say, "We're crew." Cee is giving you a look of pity and condescention that somehow only teenagers can manage. Oh.           "Oh. Oh no! No no no no no!" The realization comes pouring out of you and Cee giggles. "Nope! Not in a million years! Hard no!" But part of you thinks this is wrong even as you say it. Part of you likes the idea of being Ezra's artichoke, his tough and prickly thing with soft insides. Part of you wonders what would happen if you let him in beneath your spiky outer layers, just a little.

[secretshinigami]

Late Night Show

Title: Late Night Show Author: @complicatedmerary For: @fogspecs Pairings/Characters: Misa/Takada tease, Kiyomi Takada, Misa Amane, Hitoshi Demegawa (cameo), Light Yagami (mentioned only) Rating/Warnings: Teen and Up, alcohol mention, Demegawa being a gross boss, tabloid gossip nonsense, mean girl behavior, mild language, mild violence Prompt: Misa and Takada have romantic tension between them. Author’s notes: Misa and Takada, you say? Don’t mind if I do! As I was drafting ideas for the offered prompts, it occurred to me that the only time Misa and Takada met in canon was when Misa had no memories of being Kira. If we are being honest, that was a missed opportunity. Then, I thought, what if Misa has her memories intact, but Takada is not Kira’s spokeswoman? How will their dynamic change? Hope you enjoy!

______________________________________

“I’m telling you, Miss Takada, with your great assets and even greater personality, you will have my audience eating at the palm of our hands. My show has been craving a female perspective on scandalous gossip, you have no idea how much hate mail I receive for being unfair to these airheaded celebrities. If we get this right, no one will ever accuse me of having no substance, we are respectable journalists, dammit!”

Kiyomi Takada had barely started her first day of work and she already regretted every second of it. Truth be told, it was not a regular job, it was a weird hybrid of an internship that she had to fight to be eligible for credit and an arduous job that guaranteed humiliating tasks and low pay. The real reward is experience, she kept telling herself over and over as she reluctantly took this opportunity after being rejected by reputable news network stations. She had the nagging suspicion that Hitoshi Demegawa only chose her based on her looks rather than her impeccable academic record, but at this point it was too late to challenge this. No, she had to swallow her pride if she wanted to prove herself to be worthy of broadcasting intellectual journalism in the next few years.

“Hey, hey, what’s with the gloomy face?” Demegawa snapped his fingers close to Takada’s nose, startling her. “Celebrity gossip is supposed to be fun! Well, unless I report the usual actor breakdown, but that’s just show business, no one is truly getting hurt anyway.” He chuckled, holding himself by his belly.

Takada barely flinched.

“Come on, I’m just joking, don’t be so serious. We have something juicy coming up in thirty minutes and I need you to familiarize yourself with the news that has happened this morning.” Demegawa stopped speaking, gave Takada a nefarious grin, then patted her cheek as if she were a kid. “How about smiling for once? You will fit right in when people don’t see you as an ice queen.” He turned to the side and snapped his fingers repeatedly. “Everyone should be getting their makeup done, don’t you dare step out if your face is a mess!”

She took note of scrubbing her cheek raw until there was no trace of his dirty hand.

~~~

Takada looked over her script as her makeup artist fluffed some blush across her cheekbones. She wasn’t the type to focus on such frivolous things, but if she had to play the role of the tabloid host darling, she will gladly do so to keep Demegawa satisfied. Her credit and career depended on it.

She flipped the page with a lack of interest; Hideki Ryuga was out of the country for the third time this month? It wouldn’t surprise her if he ended up caught in a money laundering scheme, he seemed to be just that dumb. Next up, was A-list actress, Suki Aragaki, marrying his longtime beau, movie director, Kenji Ozu, after enduring a nasty love triangle that ended Ozu’s decade-long marriage. Congratulations, I guess, Kiyomi snorted, rolling her eyes at the absurdity.

She continued flipping until a familiar name made her stop on her tracks. Misa Amane. Without realizing it, her knuckles turned white as she gripped the script, and her jaw clenched painfully.

“Are you alright, Miss Takada?” The makeup artist placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Of course,” Takada let out a deep breath as her anger simmered down. “I’m just nervous, that’s all.”

The makeup artist nodded. “I understand. Don’t let Demegawa intimidate you, he is quite sweet once you get to know him.”

That was doubtful, but she was not about to argue, her attention was somewhere else. Misa Amane. The same silly model who appeared on campus and snatched Light Yagami away from her. To make matters worse, Amane randomly texted her out of nowhere months ago to let her and all of Light’s “other girls” know (which came as a disturbing revelation to her) that Light asked her to move in together and to back off. Why did Light love such an insecure, clingy woman? What could they possibly have in common besides good looks? And her classmates dared to call her superficial, how laughable.

As she kept reading the script, the gloom evaporated like a burst bubble. Misa Amane has been caught buying a pregnancy test despite declaring over the weekend at the premiere of her latest movie that she and her private boyfriend were waiting till marriage. Are we expecting wedding bells for the lovely couple, or did they marry in secret already to avoid the ire of her rabid fanboys? Unless there is something more sinister going on and her boyfriend is not the father of that baby. Perhaps that’s why Hideki Ryuga is out of the country, he is running away from his duty as a father! Those two have been fighting the persistent rumors of romance on set and that might settle it once and for all. Whoever the baby’s father is, congratulations to Misa Amane and her bundle of joy. We can’t wait to have more single mothers in the entertainment industry, such an underrepresented group in our society!

Takada tried to stifle her giggles between her fingers, but her amusement couldn’t be contained. For once Demegawa’s brutal commentary came in handy, there was no way Misa Amane could recover from this scandal. If there was anything juicier than an affair, it was a pregnancy resulting from the affair!

Oh, tonight’s show was going to be so much fun.

~~~

“It just does not make any sense, Miss Takada,” Teppei, her co-host, shook his head. “How can this movie be such a critical success when every review I have seen declared it the worst movie of the year even though we are halfway there? Who is bribing the industry to keep promoting it on television when no one wanted this movie to be made in the first place? It is a conspiracy; I am so sure of it.”

Takada pretended to act interested in the topic and simply smiled widely. She barely met Teppei today and she finally had the confirmation that she was dreading: He was a certified spoiled brat who assumed himself to be the greatest thing that has ever happened to comedy. The son of a politician, he got far enough to step into movies and television because his father left him a bottomless pit of money. He wasn’t good looking, so he relied on his short stature and misogynistic jokes to compensate for the lack of attention he never received in the spotlight. It worked perfectly enough to be perceived as harmless and now he got to hang out with late night show comedians and tour around the country. Takada wondered for how long mediocrity was going to be standard. If he were someone else, Demegawa would have no doubt chewed him out, but money and publicity ruled in his greedy heart.

“The real conspiracy is,” Takada pointed at the screen, a photo of Hideki Ryuga and Misa Amane on set, holding hands. “What is up with these two? They keep stating over and over that there is no romance, but I have yet to see her publicly with her supposed boyfriend. What exactly is she hiding?” The next slide showed a paparazzi shot of Misa Amane allegedly going to the pharmacy for a pregnancy test.

The audience gasped loudly, as expected, thanks to the teleprompter.

“Woah,” Teppei spun around dramatically. ���Didn’t she say she was waiting till marriage?”

“It makes you wonder why Hideki Ryuga is out of the country for the third time this week,” Takada gasped. “What are the odds that he found out about her pregnancy and is panicking about the possibility of being a father?”

“If that’s not the case, then she married her boyfriend in secret to keep up with her indiscretion and avoid the ire of her fans.” Teppei covered his mouth and giggled like a schoolboy. “Sucks for him because if they were supposed to be celibate, then that’s Ryuga’s baby! Man, things are not going well for Misa Amane!”

“Congratulations to Misa Amane and her bundle of joy,” Takada recited the script with unnecessary enthusiasm. “We can’t wait to have more single mothers in the entertainment industry, such an underrepresented group in our society!”

The phone rang on the set, which meant that a fan of the show had the opportunity to give their perspective on the topic. This was Demegawa’s idea to encourage “respectful dialogue” on live television, but Takada knew better: It was to enforce the trashiness of the show with inflammatory controversy, and there was no doubt one of Misa’s fanboys was calling to defend her “honor and dignity.”

Yeah, you cannot defend something that never existed, Takada thought bitterly.

“Looks like we struck a nerve,” She hummed and picked up the phone, setting it to onset speaker. “Yes, how can we help you?”

“YOU DISGUSTING, UGLY BITCH!” A shrill voice echoed around the studio, creating some feedback on the boom microphones. “I ought to sue every single of you for defamation of character! I would never cheat on my boyfriend, especially not with Hideki Ryuga! You are all sick in the head for lying this bad!”

Takada couldn’t help the grin that was plastered on her face … No one could mistake that voice to someone else. So, Misa Amane was the type of celebrity who watched gossip shows to hear if she was relevant? This was just too hilarious and unsurprising for her.

“Sorry, Miss Amane, we are just reporting the news,” she said coolly. “We are not fond of frivolous lawsuits, so I ask you to respect the press.”

“YOU ARE NOT REPORTING ‘NEWS’, YOU ARE SPREADING GARBAGE!” There was a brief silence on the other line, and then the sound of chugging down a liquid echoed on the speaker. “You are just jealous that I’m in a committed relationship and you are stuck with your misery,” Misa’s words were slurred. “How about spreading some good news? Whatever happened to being kind?”

“With all due respect, Miss Amane,” Teppei had a smug grin on his face. “You are in the entertainment industry; we don’t owe you kindness. If you can’t handle criticism, maybe being a celebrity is not the job for you.”

Takada covered her mouth, hiding the twitch on her lips that she couldn’t contain any longer. Was this truly the end for Misa Amane? No one seemed to be on Misa’s side, and she was humiliating herself on live television. Things were finally looking up for her.

“Oh, shut up, Teppei, no one likes you, you are only relevant because of your daddy,” Misa shot back. “And as for you, Kiyomi Takada, my boyfriend will never be with you, he prefers me, he said so himself, so knock it off.”

The bombshell caused a murmur amongst the audience and Takada stiffened on the spot. No, she was not going to let Misa Amane win this fight, not now, not ever.

“Wow, Miss Amane, are you having a mental breakdown?” She chuckled. “Jealousy is not part of a healthy relationship, it’s not good that you are projecting your insecurities on me. We don’t even know each other.”

“That’s it! I’m going down to Sakura TV, find you, and kick your butt! You’ll be sorry for messing with me—”

“Like that’s ever going to happen.” And with that, she slammed the phone and there was nothing but the dial and laughter from the audience.

She wondered if she ruined her chances of ever being taken seriously, but one glance at Demegawa’s blissful face told her everything she needed to know: This episode was one for the books.  

~~~

It was close to midnight when the show finally ended, and Takada stayed overtime to talk to Demegawa about the possibility of hosting the show by herself. He said he would think about it, but he couldn’t guarantee anything despite the reception. That was good enough for her. For now.

As she approached the parking lot, she heard footsteps to her left, but there were so light that for a second, she thought she imagined it in her head. She was tired and it had been a long and overexciting night, she couldn’t wait to go home and sleep on her bed.

“There you are!”

Takada turned around and she couldn’t believe what she saw: Staring at her with malice was Misa Amane, standing up straight with her legs apart, and clenched fists.

“I told you I was going to find you and kick your butt! Now, don’t you dare move!” Misa sprinted forward with so much velocity on her direction, her gaze still focused.

Takada panicked for a few moments, darting her head back and forth, looking for a way out. Instinctively, she raised her arms across her face to defend it and swung her leg on any direction her adrenaline asked her to do, her eyes closed.

It all happened so fast: As Misa aimed to kick Takada on the shin, she tripped on Takada’s swinging foot, and she landed on the concrete, stomach down.

Takada opened her eyes when she heard the agonizing whines below her and gasped at the sight of Misa laying flatly in the middle of the parking lot. Oh, God, I didn’t hurt her that bad, did I?

“Are you alright?” She felt pathetic; of course, she was not alright, she just tripped her with her foot, what a terrible question!

“Here, let me help you—”

“Don’t touch me!” Misa shrugged her off as she managed to stand on her own. Well, just barely, she couldn’t maintain her balance as she tried to step away towards the street.

Despite hating that woman with a burning intensity, she was not going to let Misa walk by herself with injuries all over her, especially in such a shady area. No, if she drove away and Misa ended up missing (or worse, dead) because she was alone, she could no longer call herself a virtuous person.

“You are not going anywhere. Come on, I need to take you home.” Takada dragged Misa roughly by the arm towards her car.

“Let me go!” Misa tried to resist her, but her balance betrayed her. “I’m not going to tell you where I live, you are going to stalk Light if you know!”

God, would she stop being so freaking loud?

“Either you tell me where you live, or you have no choice but to spend the night in this parking lot,” She pushed Misa inside the car and dropped her legs on the passenger seat. She then held her arms as she put the seatbelt over her body.

“I don’t have time for this, you are a grown woman, act like it—” She caught a whiff of cheap wine on Misa’s breath. “Ugh, so you are drunk. That’s it, I’m going to drive all around the city until you tell me where I should drop you. I’m not stopping until you get over yourself.”

~~~

The drive did go longer than expected; it was one in the morning and Misa refused to speak one word to her. Two could play the game, Takada did not say one word either. The only sound filling out the silence was the pop radio station playing the same song for the third time. At this point, she wondered if she will ever get peace for at least trying to help another woman out.

“I did mean what I said on the phone,” Misa murmured quietly. “Light does not want you, he never did.”

Why was she bringing that up now? Why did it matter after she ignored her this time entire time?

“I don’t care,” Takada rolled her eyes. “You don’t need to do this, you have him, why isn’t that enough for you?”

“It’s easy for you to say,” Misa snorted. “He dumps you and you act like it never happened. If Light were to dump me, I don’t think I would want to continue living.”

Good lord, this woman is insane.

“You want to know what the worst part is?” Tears suddenly rolled down her eyes. “The reason why I don’t want you to drop me to my apartment is because you will not find him there. He has been acting so weird since—” She shook her head. “No, he is a man, this is a man thing. It’s normal for your boyfriend to not spend every night together, right?”

Takada really wanted to say, no, it was not normal, but she didn’t know what she could possibly say that could make this situation better. She didn’t ask for this personal information, this was none of her business. And yet, why did she want to hear more about Light’s inability to keep his own girlfriend happy? What the hell was wrong with him?

“I’m not pregnant, you know,” Misa whispered, and Takada’s glanced at her, confused. “We have tried—Well, I tried my best to let that happen. I’ve been so hopeful that maybe if we have a baby together, we will be bonded for life. That, maybe, just maybe, he would look at me differently. Yes, I did buy that pregnancy test, and yes, the photos are real, but I’m not pregnant. Are you happy now? You got your little revenge by making fun of me, now I’m asking the media to do the same.”

It was hard to swallow, her throat was so dry. She couldn’t believe this, but she felt guilt. Guilt for even entertaining the idea of messing up someone’s life in such a public manner. Guilt for doing that in the first place for the sake of ratings!

Sorry was not going to be enough, she wasn’t even sure what was she apologizing for. Sorry I tripped you with my foot? Sorry I bullied you so badly that you had to get drunk to deal with the pain on live television? Sorry Light Yagami is not a perfect man? She felt nothing, anything that she could possibly say was going to be in vain if she didn’t mean it.

She suddenly stopped her car and parked on the side of the road. She turned off the radio and breathed out slowly, attempting to calm herself. Screw this, she had to do the right for once.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea that you are left drunk in your apartment.”

“What?” Misa’s eyes widened.

“If Light is not there to keep an eye on you, then—”

“What are you trying to say?” Misa was instantly furious. “I can take care of myself, I’m not a child. When Light comes back in the morning, he won’t even notice I was drunk, it’s like it never happened, we are back to being a normal couple. If you are suggesting that I would do something drastic … I’m not stupid! What do you take me for?”

“Please listen to me,” Takada pinched the bridge of her nose and breathed in and out slowly again. “I’m not saying you are stupid; I’m just trying to say that you are not in control of your emotions, and I don’t trust you to be by yourself for now.”

“I am in control of my emotions.”

“You literally cried to me that Light is not spending every night with you.”

Misa kept her mouth shut.

“All I’m saying is that I need to keep an eye you.” She regretted the words once they left her lips. Was it the guilt talking? Was she considering taking care of Misa until she got over her drunkenness? What the hell was going on here?

“I know what to do now,” She restarted the engine and shifted to drive.

“Where are we going?” Misa asked with suspicion.

“I’m taking you to my apartment and give you the chance to rest there.”

“YAY!” Misa hugged her suddenly and kissed her cheek, almost causing Takada to let go of the steering wheel. “We are going to have a girls’ night, we could stay up all night, tell each other stories—”

“Not happening,” She cut her off, but she smiled despite herself.

Misa giggled. “You know, your numbers just switched, it’s like they moved up.”

“What?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing that you should ever worry about.” She said in a sing-song voice.

Takada rolled her eyes. It was going to be a longer night than anticipated.

[cherubcow]

“Invincible”, Season 1 (2021) Review

Somehow both very cool and very fucking stupid :D

About Created and written primarily by Robert Kirkman (principle writer for The Walking Dead comic and TV show), this Young Adult cartoon basically synthesizes a number of comic book characters (e.g., Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, Hellboy, Wonder Woman, Gambit) and tries to balance their heroism with cynical twists and dark realities. It's an exercise like Brightburn (2019) in that it mirrors existing comic writing all too closely in order to make violent twists. The cool stuff arrives pretty much immediately. You can tell right away that the physics have some level of realism, and it quickly gets serious because of this. The easy comparison would be to The Boys (also by Amazon, also about violent heroes, and also very well-produced). So, if you like The Boys (2019–), you'll probably like Invincible only a little less.

(( Some spoilers but nothing too specific ))

Wrong Focus But, the stupid stuff comes from the same error that the Kick-Ass movie (2010) made: it focuses on the wrong person(s). In Kick-Ass, the error was focusing on.. well.. "Kick-Ass", an irredeemable loser and waste of screen time. Invincible makes the same mistake, focusing on.. well.. "Invincible", a (so far) irredeemable loser and waste of screen time. So, despite its virtues, this show cannot escape that it made the decision to go for the Young Adult viewing demographic. It reminds me of Alita: Battle Angel (2019) in that way too: some very cool adult concepts ruined by the dramatic devices of unrepentant teenage stupidity and irrelevance. I didn't even like that stuff when I was a teenager, though Jordan Catalano gets a pass.

Main Cast and Characters The supporting characters were also very stupid. The most annoying was definitely Amber Bennett (voiced by the otherwise cool Zazie Beetz from Deadpool 2 (2018) and Joker (2019)), 

who is supposed to be attractive somehow to Mark Grayson ("Invincible", voiced by Steven Yeun, who played Glenn on The Walking Dead) 

despite the fact that she constantly judges him, fails to understand him, often fails to give him any kind of benefit of the doubt, and continues to scowl at him and be hurtful towards him even when she has information that should change her outlook towards him. And because she is part of the love triangle shared between herself, Invincible/Mark, and "Atom Eve"/Samantha (voiced by the awesome Gillian Jacobs from Community (2009–2014)), 

audiences simply have to bear with it that Amber's annoying character will be present and wasting time until Mark can realize that Amber is in fact toxic and that Eve actually understands him and can improve him in more positive directions. That love triangle should have been a 20-minute distraction, but I'm guessing that it will eat up a season or two more, especially if the writers become cowardly and fail to change things for fear of messing up a perceived "winning" formula. In my ideal story line, they would skip ahead 10 years, drop the teen drama, the love triangle, and the stupid jokes and have Invincible and Eve paired in defense of Earth, with the main tension being from their worry that the other would be horribly gored in front of them during lethal fights against cosmic enemies ;)

Aside, I am aware of Amber’s motivation for being a bad person, I just think her justification is not based in understanding, empathy, and a regard for the gravity of Invincible’s situation. In a strict political sense, Invincible should not commit a lie of omission by keeping her in the dark about his identity — even if for the “noble lie” reason of protecting her — but in a real sense, he is a fucking teenager who just developed his super powers. For her to pretend that he should reveal his entire identity to her — a potentially transformative and even dangerous decision — after a few months of teenage romance paints an absurd portrait of her mind. It does, however, align her with Omni-Man, because where Omni-Man forces Invincible to become an adult in the fighting sense (pushing with full force early on), Amber forces Invincible to become an emotional adult by getting him to understand that toxic people such as herself need to be given boundaries — and he needs to learn to clearly delineate and communicate his real desires. By knowing that he does not want Amber, people who regiment his free time, or people who do not suit him, for instance, he can realize why Eve was an obvious decision: Eve understands, can make time when they have time, and will let him find his decisions. Part of a coming-of-age story tends to be realizing what one actually wants, and Invincible’s hesitation in telling Amber his identity shows that he does not truly want her. This separates Invincible from, say, Spider-Man, who avoided telling Mary Jane his identity not because he did not want her but because he wanted at all costs to protect her.

The next most annoying character has to be Debbie Grayson (voiced by TV-cancer Sandra Oh and who luckily was not animated to look like the real Sandra Oh and who should have been voiced instead by Bobby Lee due to Lee's successful MadTV parody of Sandra Oh). 

Debbie basically fills the role of Skyler in Breaking Bad, except that Debbie's character tends to be slightly more understanding before her inevitable and toxic Skyler-resentment and undermining behavior. Despite having an 8-episode arc of change, Debbie's character flips too quickly and lacks the empathy and Omni-Man motive-justifying that would make her interesting (the comic's development may vary). For instance, if she refused to believe that Omni-Man meant his own words, that would make her empathetic and perhaps virtuous even if misled, but instead she dropped their "20 years" of understanding after viewing Omni-Man in action, which makes her appear shallow, easily manipulated, and unsympathetic. That was a definite "Young Adult" genre move because it shows immaturity by the writers to break apart a bond of 20 years so quickly. Mediocre teens might accept such a fissure because their lives have not yet seen or may not comprehend that level of time, but adults know that even long-standing and problematic relationships (which, beyond the lie, Omni-Man's and Debbie's was not shown to be) take a lot of time to break — even with lies exposed.

Omni-Man The biggest show strength for me was of course Omni-Man, who in a success of casting was voiced by J.K. Simmons in a kind of reprisal of Simmons' role as Fletcher from Whiplash (2014). 

The Fletcher/Omni-Man parallel shows through their being incredibly harsh but extremely disciplined and principled, forcing people to become beyond even their own ideal selves (this via Omni-Man's tough-love teaching of Invincible — comically, Omni-Man was actually psychologically easier on Invincible than Fletcher was on Whiplash's Andrew character). Despite the show's attempts to villainize Omni-Man, he, like Fletcher and also like Breaking Bad's Walter White, becomes progressively more awesome, eventually representing a Spartan will, an unconquerable drive, and a realistic and martial understanding of a hero's role.

To the show's credit, while it wrote Omni-Man to be outright genocidal and from a culture of eugenicists (again, Spartan), they could not help but admire him and his "violence" and "naked force" (for a Starship Troopers reference), giving him a path to redemption. That redemption comes in part because — despite the show's attempt to be often realistic and violent — its decision to be directed at young adults via dumb jokes, petty relationship drama, the characters’ reckless lack of anonymity and security in their neighborhood (loudly taking off and landing right at the doorstep), and light indy music also made the portrayed violence far less literal. With a less literal violence, the real statement becomes not that Omni-Man really did kill so many people (though he certainly did kill those people within the show's plot) but that he was symbolically capable of terrible violence but could be reformed for good. That's the shortcoming with putting violence under demographic limitations. If it's a PG-13 Godzilla knocking down cities, the deaths in the many fallen skyscrapers don't matter so much (the audience will even forgive Godzilla for mass death if it happens mostly in removed spectacle), whereas if it's Cormac McCarthy envisioning a very realistic fiction, every death rides the edge of true trauma.

By showing light between the real and the symbolic, it is much easier to identify and agree with Omni-Man. For instance, when Robot (voiced by Zachary Quinto of Heroes and the newer Star Trek movies) 

shows too much empathy for the revealed weakness of "Monster Girl" (voiced by Grey Griffin), the audience may have thought, "Pathetic," even before Omni-Man himself said it. And this because Omni-Man knows that true and powerful enemies (including himself) will not hesitate to use ultra-violence against these avenues of weakness. "Invincible" can make his Spider-Man quips while in lethal battles, but he does so while riding the edge of death — something that Omni-Man has to teach Invincible by riding him to the brink of his own.

Other Cast/Characters and Amazon's Hidden Budget It was impressive how many big-name actors were thrown into this — a true hemorrhage of producer funding. Amazon has so far hidden the budget numbers, perhaps because they don't want people to know that the show (like many of its shows) represents a kind of loss-leader to jump-start its entertainment brand.

Aside from those already mentioned, the show borrows a number of actors from The Walking Dead (WD), including.. • Chad L. Coleman ("Martian Man"; "Tyreese" on WD),

• Khary Payton ("Black Samson"; "Ezekiel" on WD),

• Ross Marquand (several characters; "Aaron" on WD)

• Lauren Cohan ("War Woman"; "Maggie" on WD)

• Michael Cudlitz ("Red Rush"; "Abraham" on WD)

• Lennie James ("Darkwing"; "Morgan" on WD)

• Sonequa Martin-Green ("Green Ghost"; "Sasha" on WD) 

There were also connections to Rick and Morty and Community, not just with Gillian Jacobs but also with... • Justin Roiland ("Doug Cheston"), who voices both Rick and Morty in Rick and Morty,

• Jason Mantzoukas ("Rex"),

• Walton Goggins ("Cecil"),

• Chris Diamantopoulos (several characters),

• Clancy Brown ("Damien Darkblood"),

• Kevin Michael Richardson ("Mauler Twins"), and

• Ryan Ridley (writing)

That's a lot of overlap. They even had Michael Dorn from Star Trek: TNG (1987–1994) (there he played Worf) and Reginald VelJohnson from Family Matters (1989–1998) and Die Hard (1988), and even Mark Hamill. Pretty much everyone in the voice cast was significant and known. Maybe Amazon got a discount for COVID since the actors could all do voice-work from home? ;)

Overall Bad that it was for the Young Adult target demo but good for the infrequent adult themes and ultra-violence. Very high production value and a good watch for those who like dark superhero stories. I have heard that the comic gets progressively darker, which fits for Robert Kirkman, so it will likely be worth keeping up with this show.

[hanacantwrite]

𝙨𝙮𝙣𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙞𝙨: ☽ “𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙨𝙤𝙛𝙩, 𝙨𝙝𝙚'𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙮 𝙛𝙚𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙮.” nekoma’s volleyball club finally gets a manager and one that’s cute to boot, her personality is just part of her package deal.

m.list — one — two

𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠.

it was impossible for you to ever catch up with then. 

one normal step for them was basically fifty steps for her and the fact that they never noticed it was the thing that got on your nerves the most. 

sure, you weren't exactly the tallest person ever but the fact that they were taller than almost everyone they met didn't really help things. 

even when it came to someone like yaku you still couldn't keep up with him. 

getting lost was something that was starting to get annoying, couldn't they at least try to pay attention to when you suddenly disappeared?

you could only stand in a corner as you stared distantly into the crowd that filled the only area that you could walk through, there was no way you were going through there. 

sure, you wanted to meet up with them considering your position required it but your will to do your job was overshadowed by your will to live. 

of all the clubs you could've joined, you just had to join the club with members that were basically giants. 

talking to all of them forced you to crane your neck to even look at them, it was no surprise that they lost you, once again. 

the mere fact that this wasn't the first time and most likely not the last time something like this will ever happen just made you accept your fate. 

you just had to accept the fact that you weren't made to be tall and that you should've joined the debate club, at least you wouldn't have to worry about getting lost due to your height with that club. 

all you could do was glare into the distance as you slid down the wall, getting yourself situated as you waited for the crowded walkway to become a bit smaller. 

there was no way you were going to risk dying, not yet anyway. 

you sat in the corner with a dejected look on your face and a surprisingly dark air surrounding you as almost everyone around you looked at you with confusion as they tried to walk away. 

"i get that i'm not that tall but did they really have to lose me in the crowd because of that..."

the walkway was still as crowded as it was a few minutes ago, if anything it was even more crowded than it was only a few minutes before.

ugh, you weren't going to catch up with them anytime soon.

"what do you mean you lost her?!"

kuroo was on the verge of blowing up at the first year if it wasn't for the fact that he was more confused than anything. 

how on earth do you lose someone exactly?

if anything considering the fact that you were probably one of the only girls there it would've been impossible for you to get lost and if you did then you would've been found almost immediately.

lev looked away from his dark-haired upperclassman, a nervous look making it's way to his face as he avoided thee glares given to him by his upperclassman.

to be honest, he was more concerned about the reactions from the older teens rather than your own well being, it wasn't like it was something new. 

you always seemed to disappear into crowds. 

it's been something that has been happening since the two of you were in primary school, things didn't really change and he wouldn't have worried about it them. 

but back then he didn't have to deal with fuming upperclassmen that looked like they were holding back the urge to hit the grey-haired middle blocker. 

"i just lost her! i was talking to her one minute and when i went to look at her she just wasn't there anymore!" 

he was really trying hard to defend himself. 

keyword. 

try.

without any warning, the first-year was interrupted in his terrible defence by the third year libero kicking at him as he shoved his elbow into his side. 

"yaku-san, what was that for?!"

"it was for being even more of an idiot than usual!"

"huh?! are you saying i'm always being an idiot?!"

the rest of the first years, shohei, and kenma only watched on with varying expressions as the third years scolded the first-year endlessly. 

yuki and inuoka tilted their heads at the sight before glancing at each from the corner of their eyes. 

"uh...should we do something?" inuoka asked. 

"just ignore them, butting in is more trouble than it's worth," kenma deadpanned. 

as expected, things with the boys weren't going any better than it was with you. things weren't turning out well for either of you, not in the slightest. 

"you're amazing senpai!" you gazed up at the older teen with stars in your eyes. 

shohei gave you a curt nod as he let you loop your hands around his own as the two of you made your way back to the others who were still trying to look for you.

after a few more minutes of waiting for the crowd to disperse nothing really happened much to your disappointment. 

that was of course until you were saved by your saviour of the day and the person you were sure was the best member of the volleyball club, shohei fukunaga. 

it didn't take too long for the two of you to finally make your way back to the others, though you were wondering if it would've been a better idea to just go home instead of returning to them. 

'why are they acting like a bunch of clingy relatives?'

you were somewhat annoyed with them but at the same time you weren't exactly annoyed with them in the slightest, it was something you had expected from them strangely enough.

turning away you let out a relieved sigh before a scheming smirk snaked it's way to your lips, the corners of your lips curled up as you looked into the direction of the grey-haired middle blocker. 

it was payback time. 

you were more than sure that he was probably blaming you getting lost on the fact that you being small meant it was easier for you to get lost into the crowd. 

"lev was really the main reason i got lost in the first place."

everyone turned to the first year with yamamoto and the third years (save for kai) shooting sharp glares at him causing him to spew as many excuses as possible. 

it was really interesting to see how many mediocre excuses and explanations he was able to give in only the span of a few seconds. 

though it would've been much more interesting if he was able to say everything and make everything make sense rather than have everything contradict each other. 

even the things he said in the same sentence didn't seem to match up. 

he always did clam up whenever he was under pressure and that seemed to be much more noticeable ever since he joined the volleyball club. 

"-so it's not really-"

before he could get anything else out the first year was interrupted by the third-year libero walking up to him as he kicked at shin leaving no one really that surprised. 

"yaku-san, you could've given me a moment to finish!"

"shut up already!"

ah, now that was satisfying revenge. 

"kai-san, aren't you going to do anything about them?" yuki asked the older teen. 

"don't worry about it, i'm sure everything is fine."

"wha-"

you looked up at the libero. "come on, there's really nothing bad happening yuki-kun."

his eye twitched. 

for people that seemed to always look so nice, he was really starting to doubt that. 

"of course..."

why did he have to join the volleyball club of all things?

they seemed to be a lot more stranger than he ever thought they would be, he never expected them to be like this, not in the slightest. 

"i'm really having regrets right about now."

"huh?" 

you and kai looked at the black-haired teen with curious looks, tilting your heads in unison. 

he let out a sigh. 

"nevermind, i'm sure whatever you guys say is just going to make things even more confusing than they already are."

[itsclydebitches]

Welcome back, everyone! Today’s recap is surprisingly positive. I liked a lot of what we got in Chapter One, with the biggest complaint being the sheer amount of Sun-bashing throughout. On the one hand it does decent things for Coco’s characterization, on the other hand… we’ve really got to rake one character across the coals in order to forward another? It’s a mixed bag, but we’ll get to all that.

Initially we open on SSSN and CFVY having breakfast together. Which Coco is surprised to find herself enjoying. In fact, she’s enjoying it so much that she’s called out for laughing/smiling too much.

“I thought you boys liked it when girls smiled,” she said.

Honestly? I’m here for the lesbian weaponizing that against a bunch of guys. I’ve been told to smile so much in my life that I too would get snarky if I was then told to stop. I can be petty that way.

Of course, Coco isn’t really the victim here. She’s specifically laughing at the fact that her team needed to help Sun out last night, which is not only mean (I do support the boys telling her to knock it off even while I support snarky quips about smiling) but also flies in the face of everything huntsmen are supposed to represent. I’m honestly surprised by the amount of disdain for teamwork throughout both the web-series and this book so far. It’s like Ozpin tried to teach his students – and the audience – that teamwork is a necessary skill by creating literal teams… but instead of learning that every huntsmen in training went, “Great! Now that we have these teams we’ll never need to work with anyone else ever.” There’s obviously some leeway here in regards to how Team RWBY became Team RNJR and then Team RWBYJNR(+O), but their mega team has the same ‘us vs. the world’ attitude that Coco displays here. Factor in the team partners and it feels like everyone missed the memo about working with others being a good thing.

We’ll see this again just a little farther along, when Coco mentally complains about how SSSN only “assisted” them previously, not “rescued.” It’s the same distinction Sun made in the prologue: You didn’t save me. Even though they did. Coco is more concerned with how SSSN is tarnishing the “shine” of their reputation, rather than how they helped her or how she, in turn, could help them. Whenever the main story insists that the antagonist of the week is dividing the world for Salem, I want to point very emphatically to the heroes who are supposed to be enacting that unification... but aren’t. If they can’t even admit that a peer helped them without scrambling to assuage that supposed blow to their pride, how are they ever going to deal with the actual, weighty ethics of these problems? The ‘my way or the highway’ attitude we’ve seen Ruby display starts here. Everything is black and white. It’s simply not possible for them to be impressive, capable fighters and in need of rescue now and again. Therefore no rescue took place and peers – however subtly – are viewed as competition at best, potential enemies at worst. When you take these teens out of school and put them in, say, a military environment where your peers have incredibly difficult decisions to make… that’s where problems crop up.

I also think it’s worth acknowledging that Sun was in legitimate danger last night. Unknown adversaries + an inability to combat them = potential death. Sun even comments in the prologue that he has to keep a close eye on his aura because otherwise he might come out of this encounter seriously injured. It reads as continually strange to me that characters who just lived through a major battle still have the confidence and naivete needed to view Sun’s encounter as a hilarious one-upmanship. ‘Ha! My team had to save you~’ should not be the reaction of kids who now fully understand the ‘save you’ part. The world is dangerous and unpredictable. People have died. Sun himself could have died or just (“just”) been hurt. What’s funny about that?

Meanwhile, the rest of SSSN is pretty pissed. Neptune likewise thinks Sun getting beat up “on your own turf” is funny, but Coco notices his angry tone. She wonders “if he meant he wished he’d been there to watch more than help.” So yeah, really pissed. What stands out to me though is that these are just feelings. The act of thinking and saying horrible things – “If you were one of my men I’d have you shot” – is not the same thing as actually acting them out, or allowing them to happen. I have no doubt that if Sun were in trouble Neptune would do everything he could to help him. The SSSN group would not literally stand by and watch a teammate get beat up… which just re-emphasizes for me how horrible Team RWBY’s actions were in Volume 6, watching indifferently as Ozpin begged, cried, and was attacked. For all this book’s problems, there’s a lot in this chapter that I wish we’d seen with Team RWBY. A moment where the group implied they were angry enough to abandon Ozpin but not actually doing that would have made a massive difference.

Coco notices Neptune’s meaning, but “she doubted Sun had the awareness to see that.” From here on out the Sun-bashing picks up and it’s… a lot. Far too much in my opinion. She mentally claims that Sun attaches himself to better teams to “make up for the fact that he and his own team were mediocre at best” even though, to my recollection, we haven’t seen any evidence of this. SSSN has potential, but only if they get a strong leader. Meaning, in her opinion, not Sun. He’s “too unstable, too unreliable” and Coco doesn’t even like eating with him most days, especially since she blames him for messing with her team’s morale. There’s exactly one moment where she agrees with him… and feels the need to remind herself (the reader) that it’s just this once. She also has little qualms about saying at least some of this to his face.

“But it is our business,” Coco added. “We don’t need you. No offense.”

Scarlet stood. “Why would I take offense?” he asked. “Just because you think you’re too good for us.”

Me experiencing the second-hand discomfort: 

WOW that’s a lot of anti-Sun sentiment. As mentioned at the start, I do think this work brings some value to the story. Meaning, characters are allowed to dislike other characters and it helps make Coco a well-rounded person to show that she has this flaw of being judgmental and overly critical. We know it’s a flaw because of how her team reacts to her comment:

Coco glanced at her team. Velvet avoided looking at her, which meant she wasn’t on the same page this time. Yatsuhashi looked uncomfortable, but he kind of always did during personal conflicts. And Fox—

“It wouldn’t hurt to have some reinforcements,” Fox sent, using his telepathic Semblance, presumably just to her.

“I don’t disagree,” Coco sent back. “If it was the right team.”

This is good! Velvet and Yatsuhashi’s body language tells us they don’t fully agree with Coco, if at all. Fox is comfortable enough to push back some and suggest that they could use the support. Coco, in turn, doesn’t brush him off. She still holds the opinion that Sun and his team aren’t the “right” kind of support, but she’s not rigid in her stance. She values her team’s opinions and is flexible enough to start accommodating them, even when they bump up against such an intense bias. Later in the conversation, Coco will outright ask for Velvet’s opinion and, based on that, changes her decision:

“What do you think, Velvet?” Coco sent.

Velvet was quiet for a while before she lifted her eyes and looked directly at Coco. She smiled. “I like proving people wrong.”

This is the sort of work I wish we were getting with Team RWBY. Behold! The leader can be wrong! Her team doesn’t always agree with her! They tell her as much and she takes those complaints seriously, resulting in a change! It’s such a sharp contrast to Blake’s elevator promise, the group keeping dead quiet as Ruby lied, everyone just shrugging off their supposed discomfort with that, Blake and Yang spilling secrets to Robyn and the team apparently doesn’t care… The writing could take some tips from this scene here.

However, all of this only comes about through that intense Sun-bashing. Which, coupled with the opening that was hyper-focused on showing how inept he supposedly is, is A Lot. It’s great to round-out Coco like this, it’s just too bad it came at Sun’s expense. Anyone who is a fan of his isn’t going to enjoy another character given so much space to criticize him with comparatively little disagreement, given that Sun’s team is also mad at him right now. He has no support here, to the point where any defense is given the ‘but you’re not totally wrong’ caveat.

“And you’re not exactly the best and brightest student at Shade,” she added silently.

“Harsh,” Fox sent.

Okay, so she hadn’t thought it silently enough.

“But fair,” Fox added.

I know I wouldn’t enjoy reading that about one of my faves. Indeed, I’ve already sat through it. It’s not enjoyable.

(Aside #1: I want more info about how Fox’s semblance works. Specifically, I want to know how others send him a message. It’s clear here that Coco didn’t mean for him to hear that thought, so did she accidentally do something to send it to him? What does it mean to think it “silently enough” that Fox won’t pick up on it? Is it a matter of “speaking” deliberately inside your head? Or does he have the potential to hear any thought passing by? Which would be one hell of a privacy issue…)

Not much happens plot-wise during all this. It’s mostly Coco’s thoughts with that dash of disagreement regarding whether SSSN should help out. We do learn, however, that “the native Vacuans called them weak for abandoning Beacon Academy” and uh…

I hope I don’t need to explain how getting overrun isn’t the same thing as “abandoning” their school. However, this does cast the prologue in a new light. If Vacuo is THAT obsessed with standing your ground, was Sun’s clan just outliers for deciding to move? Obviously you can’t paint a whole kingdom with one brush, but it feels weird to get wise ‘Some battles you can’t win’ advice in one chapter and then in the next learn that (apparently) most Vacuans are so stubborn they view a tragic defeat as abandonment.

The conversation segues into how Headmaster Theodore hasn’t done anything about the Crown yet, but Coco is more shocked that Sun refers to him as “Theo.” As someone who grew up calling teachers – including principals – by their first name, this made me laugh. 

That aside, Sun clearly has some connection to the headmaster. Something from the first book I missed? Entirely possible. I’m figuring this out as I go. The important bit is how the conversation actually tackles student agency vs. responsibility. Or, whether a bunch of unlicensed teens should be getting involved in a dangerous mission they already handed off to the professionals:

“Keeping us in the dark isn’t going to help anyone,” Coco said.

“You keep forgetting,” Scarlet scoffed. “We’re just students.”

“We’re already better than a lot of trained Huntsmen,” Coco said.

“But we still have a lot to learn. And we’ve already failed to defend one school.”

Coco corrected him. “We were all taken by surprise. Haven fared better.”

“Most of us weren’t even there, and I still wouldn’t call that a win,” Scarlet replied.

I appreciate that both sides are given weight here. Scarlet and Coco are allowed to make points as equals. Obviously given that this is a fighting story with students as protagonists, the plot is going to find ways for them to get involved. I’m not at all surprised that, by the end of the chapter, they’ve re-established the “need” to investigate despite being told that at least one fully-trained huntsmen was already handling it. We have to have a story. However, we can’t ignore the in-world fact that yes, they are just students. No, they’re not better than a lot of trained huntsmen (some, sure, but Qrow could kick their ass). They did get in over their heads. And “we were taken by surprise” isn’t the defense Coco seems to think it is. If you can’t handle a surprise attack... you’re not ready. To ignore all this is to write characters who come across as arrogant to the point of delusion. By having at least one person point out the flaws in this thinking, they read much more like young people trying to make a difference and letting that drive/impulsivity carry them a bit too far. That’s relatable – and engaging. This is more work I’d like to see with Team RWBY. Less, “That was before you trained us” and more “You keep forgetting, we’re just students.” It’s the heroes who are perceived as “just” something and manage to save the day anyway that’s exciting. Not the heroes who come sauntering in proclaiming that they’re the best ever and then manage to scrape by because the plot ensured they would. Or again, make one or two characters like that. Not an entire team.

(Aside #2: Sometime during all this Fox is referred to as “Fox Alistair.” Why the last name in the middle of a scene??)

So the whole group is upset that the headmaster doesn’t appear to be doing anything. Sun wants to help and feels strongly that they need it. Coco is adamant that they may need help, but not from him. During the course of this the Great War is brought up and the long-standing bias it has produced:

“The Great War again.” Coco shook her head. “Ancient history. Let it go.”

“Easy for you to say,” Sun said. “But have you let go of what happened to Beacon?” He sat down and put his hands together. “You. Need. Us.”

I get the point that Sun is making but uh… those aren’t the same thing. As Professor Rumpole will acknowledge in just a bit, even something from fifty years ago can feel like “ancient history” to someone who didn’t live through it. A war that ended eighty years ago – and began a decade before that – simply isn’t going to resonate emotionally with the new generation. They’ll feel the impact of it, but it’s still different. Trying to compare a kingdom’s attachment to something that happened a literal lifetime ago to the tragedy that they all personally experienced a year ago is unfair. It’s like if someone rightfully pointed out, “Hey, I want to acknowledge that the people down the street shouldn’t automatically hate me for something my grandfather did to their grandfather” and the response to that was, “Yeah but last year someone did something horrible to you and you haven’t let that go, so…” You’re talking about two very different situations, not to mention trying to use that trauma as leverage. Coco gets mad at Rumpole for doing the same thing in class: don’t use the fall of our school as a point for your argument. 

This whole chapter has a running theme of history and its impact, including a dual joke from Fox about “those who miss history are doomed to repeat it” (that is: the old adage of learning from past mistakes as well at the fact that if they miss their literal history class they’ll need to repeat the course). Which, taking the novel as a whole, is presumably reflective of these two teams. I may take issue with the pervasive perspective that huntsmen can get by on their own, but the fact is that Sun and Coco do work together, despite the complaints. It’s right there on the cover. So we have this larger setup of kingdoms fighting and the ways that this is still negatively impacting the next generation. Now here that generation comes along, struggling with but ultimately overcoming that hurdle. We will work together. We will choose to trust one another, hard as that is. It’s – again – a better example of the younger generation surpassing their elders than what the web-series has managed to give us lately.

Right now, Coco is only agreeing to work with SSSN because she intends to avoid problems, not because she thinks they’ll be a benefit to her: “It made sense to combine their efforts—if only to make sure Sun didn’t get in their way, or to make sure Scarlet didn’t rat them out to Rumpole.” It’s a horrible thing to think about someone, let alone a someone who is meant to be a friend. However, the hope is that Coco grows over the course of the novel. I certainly hope poor Sun doesn’t spend 200+ pages helping her only for Coco to come out the other side still holding such a low opinion of him…

So we get a bit more about how scary Coco can come across as, how much she enjoys that, and how “This whole ‘accepting help’ thing wasn’t exactly her style.” We get it. The powerful huntsmen never need help, etc. etc. Maybe I’m just a community-driven gremlin but I find this concept of extreme individuality to be terrifying. Accepting help is absolutely my style. Please help me. For the love of God, if anyone can make this world a little more manageable I will take it.

I’m not a cool girl like Coco though. Maybe that’s the difference.

The group finally goes to history class where they hold their heads high despite coming in late. No, no, no. No feeling pride over disrespect. Rumpole has every right to be shaking her head at them. You’re late because something came up, you accidentally slept in, etc.? That’s life. You’re late because you couldn’t be bothered to arrive on time and think you shouldn’t feel any guilt over that? C’mon.

All of which segues into how Coco was in “her share of disciplinary meetings” back at Beacon. In contrast to the head-held-high attitude though, Coco admits to herself that she found the feedback valuable. As she moves through thoughts about how she totally doesn’t need praise, Fox corrects her:

“I don’t need eyesight to know you’re great, Coco. But maybe those shades of yours have been distorting how you see things. Try taking them off once in a while. You’d be surprised to learn there are lots of people outside of our team worthy of praise.”

I am legitimately enjoying a main character – a leader no less – getting kindly called out for their inaccurate perspective. That’s what we want!! Growth!!! Especially since Fox neatly ties this back to the real conflict at hand: “You’d be surprised to learn there are lots of people outside our team worthy of praise.” Indeed, Coco does try taking off her glasses (horrible as that metaphor is. Like... it’s really awkward) and is then able to articulate just how much she appreciates Rumpole. I’m not going to lie, reading a scene where someone over 30 is praised and respected did my heart some good.

(Aside #3: I’m having trouble reconciling this Fox with the one I know is going to appear later with Neptune. It’s quite a leap to go from wise ‘Other people are worthy of praise’ to being so uncaring you’ll advocate for the continued torture of a peer...)

We move through Coco’s admiration for Rumpole’s fashion and how that reflects her personality: stylish but, at the end of the day, practical. We get some nice details about Fox keeping the team awake and giving them answers with his semblance, which is exactly the way I would expect students to use telepathy in class (alongside singing annoying songs to piss each other off, reading aloud memes they’re looking up on their phones, desperately asking what the hell the teacher just said because oh god it’s going to be on the exam isn’t it?) Eventually all this leads to Coco subtly calling out Rumpole for – supposedly – not investigating the Crown. Hey, teach. Why are we learning about this time period now? Don’t you want to talk about when the crown was the center of authority around here?

It's subtle… ish.

Message received, Rumpole speaks with them after class to explain that she hasn’t brought this to the headmaster yet because he’s got too much on his plate. Instead she’s investigating it personally and will fill Theodore in when she has something substantial. Coco, while pleased that Rumpole hasn’t completely blown them off, is insistent that dealing with today’s problems is all that matters. Who cares about tomorrow?

“That’s a luxury you have as a Huntress in training. Theodore has to be concerned with both today and tomorrow.”

Ding ding ding! This is Team RWBY’s problem too. What do you mean we can’t just solve this problem here and now? I want to fight today, no matter what that might do to tomorrow. Meanwhile, Ozpin isn’t just thinking about tomorrow, but generations of tomorrows. This is a luxury that only the very young and the ones without responsibility can have. Make them fight for a thousand years and they’ll start caring about what the next thousand will look like. Give them the weight of a kingdom and watch them weigh decisions when, suddenly, it’s no longer just their own lives they’re risking. God I hope Team RWBY starts realizing this in Volume 8…

The only downside is that Rumpole provides all this via more shade thrown (partly) at Ozpin: “The headmasters of the other schools have been reckless, negligent, or overprotective.” Thus far, the people of Vacuo seem quite happy to assume they would have done better in Beacon’s place. Well, if I were at Beacon I simply wouldn’t have abandoned it. If Theodore was headmaster there it simply wouldn’t have fallen. That’s a luxury of Rumpole’s own: the ability to stand safe in a currently untouched kingdom and assume that, if put in the same position, she and her people would have come out for the better.

She continues with,

“Theo’s first priority will always be helping you reach your full potential, making you strong enough to survive anything that comes your way. He has your best interest in mind, no matter where you come from or where you started your training. Who else can say that?”

Uh… Ozpin?

Absolutely Ozpin.

However, Rumpole does provide good reasons for why the group should hang back. Not just the “You’re students” argument but also an acknowledgement that she has very sensitive leads going. Getting others involved might jeopardize that. Of course, they interpret all this as Rumpole just telling them to be cautious. Get involved, just don’t get caught. As mentioned above, this was inevitable. There’s no story without the group’s involvement and coming up with ways that they oh so unexpectedly (conveniently) end up involved without intending to be can get very old, very fast. So I get it. Let’s just hope that they go about this in a way that doesn’t make them seem like completely over-confident fools.

So all in all not a bad chapter. At least comparatively. If you’re able to overlook the Sun-bashing and the execution of some ideas (the prose is still incredibly messy in places) there’s actually a lot of work here that I appreciate. Work I’d really love to see implemented into the web-series. To be frank, it’s not that I think this is all particularly good… just not particularly bad either. Good for RWBY, shall we say. In another franchise I’d be heavily disappointed in this, but for a series with so many other flaws lately? Seeing just an inkling of this complexity is a relief. Even if the details grate.

Only question is, can the novel maintain this low-bar standard all the way through? Based on public reaction I’m gonna guess no…

But we shall see! 💜

[the-cookie-of-doom]

1-2 Serious question. Why is everyone so convinced that Dylan O’Brien and Tyler Hoechlin want nothing to do with Tyler Posey/Jeff Davis and would never come back for a Teen Wolf reunion? Tyler Posey was the leader and star of his own show, and he even said that he was the leader on set (just like Scott McCall was everyone’s leader and alpha in the show) during his panel at Dutch Comic Con 2019.

2-2 Which means that if Posey wants a Teen Wolf reboot, everyone from the original main cast should support him and give their former colleague what he wants instead of ignoring him 

I’m pretty sure this isn’t a serious question, it honestly sounds like bait from my wank anon (if it is you: hi, your text style is very recognizable, and I don’t normally mind but posing a “serious” question like this is a liiitle disingenuous and bad form) but if it is: 

First of all, yikes, this made me realize how long I’ve properly been in the TW fandom. For a second I thought it was only for like a year, but then I realize no. I watched TW in August, 2017. Eesh. Anyway. 

I don’t think I’m the best person to ask about this because I don’t keep receipts like some other blogs do (I don't personally care what actors do in their personal lives/on social media, and never search it out myself). But the reason people are pretty certain that Dylan and Tyler H, wouldn’t come back, is... why would they? 

Both have gone on to have fruitful careers. Tyler H. has been making some fun stuff, he’s the star of his own show now (he’s freaking superman, ffs). Meanwhile Dylan grew up, carried his own franchise for what, like 4, 5 years? (I don't remember when TMR came out, I think I was in middle school tho?) He’s done some great movies with really big name actors, and seems to be settled in his career to continue on that trajectory, which, good for him! I can’t wait to see what comes next. 

Tyler P. on the other hand, has done.... nothing. I remember he did that shitty B horror movie, and I think he was on Jane the Virgin for a bit as a side character? I don’t know, but he’s not done anything noteworthy since TW ended. 

Idk much about Tyler H, but it was really the starting point of Dylan’s career, and he used the exposure to go on and do bigger and better things. He was only in season 6b for... 2 episodes, I think? The final 2, right? Because he was off filming (I believe) TMR: Death Cure, and possibly American Assassin but I’m not sure. Neither of them need Teen Wolf anymore, the way Tyler P. does. he’s essentially the equivalent of a one hit wonder trying to return to the good old days with a reunion concert, except nobody cares anymore, and watching them try to drum up support for something that wasn’t all that good in the first place is just sad. 

Second, (and this is where you lose me, nonny, the tone of this section comes across very false. Again if that wasn’t intentional and you are genuine, I’m sorry, but keep your phrasing in mind in the future) Tyler Posey was the leader and star of his own show, and he even said that he was the leader on set (just like Scott McCall was everyone’s leader and alpha in the show). 

He wasn’t. At all. Just full stop. He was 19 years old, he was a kid. There were plenty of more experienced and older actors on the set; none of them would have been looking to a punk kid for leadership, I’m sorry. He may have thought he was the leader, but that was his ego speaking. The same ego that now wants to have a reboot of the show less than three years after it ended. He claims he wants it because the actors are the right age. That would make sense.... if the show hadn’t lasted as long as it did. That’s the problem with TV shows about high schoolers that try to make one year in canon last across two in real life.

If they’d done it like Harry Potter, where each movie was one school year, it would have been better. (And the last half of the show would have taken place in college, which would have made so many of the real-world problems go away. This is the hill I will die on.) But as it is, a true reunion reboot shouldn’t happen for another decade at the least. 

But that’s not what Tyler P. wants. His career didn’t take off after TW the way it did with Dylan, and he likely just wants the steady paycheck of an ongoing TV show, and to feel relevant again. I’m sure it’s a hollow feeling, as he still wasn’t relevant even when the show was relatively popular; don’t forget, the most-watched parts of the show were the ones with Dylan and Tyler H, and season 3 B which was all about Dylan/Stiles has the highest ratings of the entire show. 

And finally: If Posey wants a Teen Wolf reboot, everyone from the original main cast should support him and give their former colleague what he wants instead of ignoring him. 

Why? It’s no one’s job to give Tyler P what he wants, especially when what he wants will significantly affect their careers. I’m sorry, but if I’d gotten to a point where I was working with people like Michael Keaton and Mark Wahlberg, or was the face of an iconic superhero, I wouldn’t then go dedicate my time to working on a mediocre TV show from when I was a kid. Honestly in their position, I would probably look back on TW as a fond but embarrassing memory ultimately glad for the experience and the ones it lead to, but with no desire to repeat it. 

Tyler Ps recent tweets about a reboot are, in my opinion, are a cry for attention. TW is his one claim to fame and he can’t let it go. The other’s have moved on, and they have plenty more reason to avoid TW than return to it, especially when that time can be applied to better projects. 

[earth-ambassador-jim]

Changeling Loyalties chapter 8

Goblins and Conspiracies

Toby is quite happy with his life, but then the Amulet of Daylight just had to choose his human friend. What’s a changeling to do? Good thing Toby never really liked Gunmar anyway.

AO3 - Fanfiction

~~~~

~~~~

The search for the missing amulet was proving to be incredibly frustrating. Blinky kept suggesting that they should try shrinking Jim down to have him search for it. Toby was very staunchly against it and, as Aaarrrgghh was also siding with him and against Blinky on that particular issue, Jim had decided to save that for a last resort.

“I’m just saying we should try lighting a fire in the entrance to see if the smoke comes out somewhere else,” Toby said.

“And if it does? What’s to say that the amulet is not lodged in some crevice somewhere? Just waiting for discovery?” Blinky returned.

“Oh! Maybe we could use a spycam!” Toby held his hands out parallel. “We could like strap it to a remote controlled car and send it in. It would be totally secret agent cool!”

“Preposterous, your human vehicles are far too large to fit into such a small hole. Why, even the smallest of them would not even fit into the fergalator.”

Toby patted Blinky’s arm and shook his head.

“No. No. We have small toy cars that drive around just like the regular ones.”

“Really?” Blinky blinked and cocked his head. “How fascinating! Can you acquire one of these tiny cars for our use?”

Jim glanced at Aaarrrgghh who let out a chuckle and leaned over to him.

“Blinky like learning human things,” He whispered very loudly. “Want car to play with.”

Jim grinned at that. Blinky shot the large troll an affronted look.

“I’m not planning to play with the car I merely wish to document how it works so that I might better understand human culture. That is all,” Blinky said crossing his arms with a huff.

Toby snickered.

“That’s okay, you can play with it too…”

“What is going on here?” Everyone jumped at Vendal’s gruff voice.

Jim turned to see the elderly troll bend slightly as he entered the shop. He used his staff to brush aside a hanging sock before moving to stand pointedly in front of Blinky.

“Why is the Trollhunter not in the Forge training? I believe I heard you talking about cars. What sort of foolishness are you up to now?”

Blinky winced lowering his head slightly as he tapped his fingertips together.

“Well… You see…”

“I lost the amulet,” Jim said coming to stand beside him.

“Master Jim…”

He couldn’t let Blinky take the blame for something that was his fault.

“A gnome stole it from me. We caught the gnome, but we haven’t managed to get the amulet back yet. We’re working on it.”

Vendal stared at him for a moment. Jim straightened up, feeling rather like he was in the principal’s office waiting to find out if he was going to have detention. The elderly troll let out a huff and turned back toward Blinky.

“You have all of today and tomorrow to find the amulet. After that the Trollhunter must return to his training.”

“But without the amulet…!” Blinky started.

Vendal pinned him with a stare.

“You will continue looking for it. I will make arrangements for a substitute trainer in the meantime.”

Vendal turned away from them to walk out of the shop.

“Find the Amulet soon. The longer it remains lost the more unrest will grow in TrollMarket.”

~~~~

“Well, hey! Maybe it will turn up tomorrow.” Toby said in a tone of deliberate cheerfulness as he and Jim made their way home.

“I doubt it,” Jim said with a sigh. “I can’t believe it, I find an important magic artifact and then I lose it… Ugh! Stupid!”

“It’s not your fault…”

“How?!” Jim snapped, turning toward him. “I was the one who couldn’t hold onto it against a gnome. A gnome! How am I supposed to protect people from Bular if I can’t protect an amulet from one lousy gnome?” His shoulders slumped and he gripped the straps of his pack. “Maybe I’m just not cut out for this.”

Toby opened his mouth and then closed it, unsure of what to say. He didn’t want Jim to be Trollhunter, and he was fairly certain Jim didn’t want to be either, but he hadn’t anticipated Jim taking the loss of the amulet this way. He knew about his friend’s anxiety, he had even learned some strategies to help him with it over the years, but…

But he hadn’t been prepared for Jim to blame himself this hard for it, for it to affect his sense of confidence this way.

Toby frowned.

Would it go away? Could he expect Jim to move past losing the amulet or would he just keep blaming himself for it? He just wanted his friend safe, was that too much to ask?

Why did things have to be complicated?

~~~~

For history class Mr. Strickler was taking them to the museum for a more hands on lesson and some general all around fun. Honestly, long-term goal to destroy humanity aside, he really was a good teacher.

“Excuse me.”

Toby turned around from the rock exhibit he had been looking at to find Claire approaching them. He hazarded a glance to the side toward Jim. Yep, he was turning bright red. Toby snorted and rolled his eyes.

“What’s up?” Toby asked, because someone had to respond to her.

Claire blinked at him.

“Oh sorry! I was talking to Jim,” She said with an apologetic smile. “But I didn’t mean to…”

“Don’t worry about it.” Toby waved her off. He grabbed Jim and shifted him forward. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

He shot a wink and a thumbs-up to Jim who had recovered and was now sputtering. Hopefully he would not fall into trying to impress her with mediocre Spanish like he had the past few times he had attempted to talk to her. Toby shook his head. There were a certain things about humans that were still super weird to him. Dating practices were definitely at the top of the list. Trolls just went for the throat… both figuratively and literally. He paused with a frown. Or was that just Gum-Gums?

He was drifting along searching for something else to occupy him when Eli’s high pitched voice drew his attention.

“At first, I thought it was an alien,” He was saying. “Definitely not human. It’s some sort of monster.”

The girl he was talking to leaned away and rolled her eyes.

“Come on. Give it up, Eli.”

Toby inched closer.

“No, no! This time I have photographic evidence,” He insisted waving his phone.

Uh oh, that doesn’t sound good.

Toby quickly nudged his way in between Eli and the two other teens.

“Hey, Eli, can I see your phone real quick?” He said swiping it from his hands. He looked at the screen and then did a double take. “Oh my gosh.”

A chill ran through his veins. That was definitely a goblin. A squashed goblin. They would be out for revenge. He needed to do damage control fast.

He twisted as if he was going to turn to show the picture to one of the other kids. He let his feet cross and went down with a yelp the phone clattering out of his hands.

“Are you all right?” Eli squeaked.

“Yeah,” Toby let out a self-depreciating chuckle as the other kids around him laughed. “Just clumsy I guess… oh here let me get that for you!”

Toby grabbed Eli’s phone off the ground, hitting the delete button as he did so. A picture of Eli posing with ninja stars replaced the goblin.

“Oh no, I deleted it!” Toby did his best to sound truly sorry as he pressed the phone back into Eli’s hands. “I’m so so sorry.”

“That’s okay… I guess,” Eli sounded really put out. Toby would have felt bad but he had probably just saved his life.

“Look,” He said thinking quickly. “If there’s any way I could make it up to you…”

“Not really,” Eli sighed.

“Hey… I know it’s a little late, but I really did want to hear about what you found.”

The skinny human immediately perked up.

In just a few minutes Toby had all the information on the goblin he needed, way too much personal information, and a few weird conspiracies.

“Well it’s been nice talking to you, but I need to go check on Jimbo,” Toby said, peeling himself away from the conversation. “Bye!”

“Bye,” Eli waved. “Let’s talk again?”

Toby wove through the other students, twisting his head this way and that, until he spotted Jim. He broke free of a small cluster that were ogling a mummy and jogged over to his friend.

“Jimbo! How did it go?”

Jim glanced at him and sighed.

“Okay…. But I think…” He sighed again, shoulders slumping. “I think she might actually have a crush on you.”

Toby choked on his spit and went into a coughing fit.

“Me?! Why would she have a crush on me?”

He had interacted with Claire only a handful of times and she had literally never shown any interest outside of getting whatever project they were working on and basic social niceties. She’d even gotten his name wrong a few times.

“Well she approached me to talk about you. She had a whole bunch of questions.”

Toby stilled. Questions weren’t good.

“What sort of questions?”

“Like what sort of stuff you do in your free time, what kind of things you like, and if you had any pets… what was the other one?” Jim broke off tapping the back of his hand. “Oh yeah… She wanted to know if you had a part time job or something?”

Toby frowned. This was weird…

“Look Jim. I don’t know why she’s asking those things, but I highly doubt she has a crush on me and if she does I have no interest of returning it,” He said firmly, making careful eye contact with Jim.

“You don’t have to…”

“Seriously. I’m not interested in her,” Toby repeated firmly.  

Well aside from why she was asking questions about him…

“I believe you,” Jim said. “I guess I’m just disappointed…”

Toby held back a groan. Why him? He grabbed Jim’s arm.

“Come on let’s go look at the Viking exhibit.”

Who knows, maybe there’d be a picture of Alfhild or something.

~~~~

Toby wasn’t terribly excited to spend a night off hiding in the bushes across from Eli’s house, but life was like that sometimes. Unfortunately Kracka hadn’t dropped by so he was on his own. From what he could figure out it sounded like it was a delivery driver who had squashed the goblin: one who had just happened to leave a note about where and when he would return.

He checked his watch and yawned, another ten minutes. It was about time to start scouting to see if he could find the goblin swarm.

There was a loud whine from an approaching engine and Toby ducked back down behind his bush waiting for it to pass. It didn’t. Was the delivery driver early? Toby peered over the bushes.

It was Steve.

Toby watched in puzzlement as the blond teen parked his Vespa in the driveway and approached the front door. He knocked and stood there, shifting and glancing around every few seconds. After about a minute a woman, who Toby assumed must be Eli’s mother, opened the door and let him in.

That was… strange… Was there a group project Toby had forgotten about?

Before he could think about it much more there was the rumble of another vehicle approaching. He ducked down just as the delivery truck pulled to a halt before the house. The driver hopped out, singing tonelessly to whatever music was playing on his headphones, and retrieved a package from the back. Toby winced as he dropped it a few times before making it to the front door. How did that guy still have a job?

Movement from the corner of his eye brought his attention back to the issue at hands.

The goblins were emerging from the bushes. Several of them climbed up the light poles. It was hard to tell at this distance, but he thought that he saw Bob on one of the far poles. Other goblins were beginning to emerge from the bushes; it seemed that Toby’s guess was correct. The swarm flowed down the street toward their hapless victim.

The delivery driver handed off the package to Eli, who had answered the door, and then pushed past him into the house. Toby tensed. The driver was already a dead man, but if he stayed in Eli’s house too long the goblins might go after him as well.

Toby debated whether he should do something. Goblins were near impossible to reason with in this state, but if he got ahold of Kracka he might be able to get him to convince Fragwa to wait to go after the driver until…

The goblin swarm descended on the delivery truck. It shook back and forth violently as they began to devour it.

Right… He’d forgotten that goblins often didn’t differentiate between objects and people when they were going for revenge. Toby felt his muscles relax; it seemed there would be no need for death tonight. In a matter of seconds the truck was gone. He glanced up and down the street to make sure there were no onlookers.

The doorknob started to turn. Thinking quickly Toby raised his hands to his mouth and let out a “watch out” call. The goblins’ heads shot up at the sound and they scattered into the bushes only a moment before the door opened and the delivery driver came out.

Toby glanced around for an escape route. It was best that he got out of here before the delivery man called the police to look for his “stolen” truck. They would wonder what he was doing here so late at night. He should probably note down the event to give to Alfhild or Stricklander; the Janus Order liked to keep track of these sorts of things.

There was a crackle from a bush near him and he spotted a goblin he didn’t recognize emerging. It eyed him speculatively. Not wanting to become dinner, he quickly flashed his eyes at it. It tilted its head.

He heard a surprised chatter from his right and then another goblin moved in front of him. It snarled at the first goblin which laid its ears back and skittered away.

“Oh! Hi Foon,” He said, relieved.

“moi hara whm?��� Foon asked.

“I was just making sure no one saw.”

Foon cocked its head. “Moi sell wewsh’oiw?” It wanted to confirm that him who did the watch out call.

Toby nodded.

Foon grinned and Toby relaxed. It looked like it was off of the frenzy of the revenge hunt now.

“Wa rayacga salalrewa. moi wouc?” Foon asked, bouncing on its toes.

Right. They usually celebrated if they managed a successful revenge hunt. Toby wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to join though. Goblin revelries got pretty wild and he was tired.

Foon tugged Toby’s pant leg before climbing up on his head. “Moi lism. Moi wa goc’w saa mish.”

It was right, Toby thought guiltily, with all the stuff going on with Jim and cleanup he hadn’t had much time to just hang out with the goblins.

“wac'toir,” Toby decided: he would go along with them. It would be nice to relax and let loose just a little. Anyway tomorrow was Saturday, so he could sleep in before he and Jim went to Trollmarket.

He took one last glance at Eli’s house where Eli and Steve where talking to the delivery man, before slipping away through the bushes.

~~~~

~~~~

Author Note:

I'm back!

In case anyone is wondering the goblins are speaking a cipher (well starting this chapter anyway). Any real words in another language that appear are purely coincidental.

Nice to get those background story lines progressing.

There will be no Jlaire (Jim x Claire) in this story. Just figured I'd clear that up.

Anyway as always let me know what you think!

See y'all next time!

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Romania to Eurovision with an edgy plea for a return of special someone

To be honest, I wasn’t that on board with Selecția Națională 2019, like, at all. I get that scandals happened and three songs withdrew from the comp. at various stages due to various reasons, but Romania is just Romania to me somehow. Well there were a few overall gems (some of them out of the finals too), but I just couldn’t be bothered to waste my Sunday evenings on a single broadcast of it. Plus, I was never that swayed by the two big fanwanks from here anyway, so I’m glad they flopped lol.

But maaaan did I have a bone to pick with the people reacting to it. Especially towards the Wiwi jurors. Look, there’s such a thing called as “song growing on you” and “performance elevating the song”, as well as the one that goes “getting over it”. Surely these aren’t make belief concepts of life, hmm? I’m not one of those people who prefer a song more or less thanks to its performance, but there are some good ones that occasionally change my opinion on a song, especially a ‘boring’ one! And thanks to those terrible people, some of Wiwibloggs videos were unfairly attacked with dislikes, and mind you, not only on the Romanian NF interviews that don’t have the current Romanian subject of choice, no - both first-reaction-after-qualifying-to-A-Dal-2019-final interviews (that were of these two) too. And it’s not even the first time a televote winner doesn’t win the NF so you should have SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. (- Penn Jilette) Clear? (:

(lol this is all directed to the people from like three months ago, obviously now that the writeup is late the drama has cooled down A LOT, especially in the light of Ukraine’s events and the actual dust of this Euroseason where everyone made amends with everything, but I can’t help but keep what I thought of this initially because I just wanted to write something for Romania as I didn’t have anything else to say until I remembered the drama so)

So here’s that one controversial subject that unexpectedly slayed the poor man’s “Fuego” and that one homophobic teen by hitting it hard by an extremely unbalanced jury vote (and 24 points to it coming from that core Wiwibloggs duo, no less) and her on-stage couch possessing - the half-local half-Canadian little to no known artiste, Ester Peony, who conquered all in her homeland “On a Sunday”, as her songtitle says (haha bad puns whoop.) Is it any more mesmerizing over the two fanwank fanflops, or is it, just like Wiwi said at first, ‘boring’? Hmm...

It starts of bluesy, with the Western-movie-sounding-pop guitar twangs accompanying the sound, and Ester begins reminiscing her love that left her on a Sunday of September, later followed by snap percussion. And deep inside she wants that person to come back “to [her], to [her], to [he-eeee-eeee-er], eh, eh, eh, eh”. She begs and pleads for the return for her loved one, as I believe the absence deeply upsets her (smoke from the ashtray, everything’s so cold an gray, loving is a hard price to pay) and eats her up from the inside to a degree. I never had someone to leave me like that on a whatever the day was, but I feel for Ester’s song’s protagoniste.

Here are some interesting things I find in this song: its progressive intensity; the decision of putting a 3rd verse up in the place of the bridge; right after some additional “eh eh eh eh” after the chorus (bridges are usually of completely different vocal line ways); cool voice of the singer’s; the strings; the beat... and the fact that it’s described as “electro-pop”. Pop I might get, in fact it sometimes reminds me of those older Billboard chart topper songs from mid-00s por so, or that it could have been one of those kind of songs. You needed just to give it to a popstar relevant of the time and voilà - a hit! Electro... not quite sure on this one. Maybe the bass that occurs in the 2nd and 3rd verses indicates something on it but that’s all.

And man do I hate to say this but the song's attitude is something that makes me wanna scream sometimes. It occasionally happens when I stop feeling so happy clappy for a song a few listens later because I just don't feel like caring about it anymore and that it starts making me feel some sort of a soulache because I trusted it in the first place. Kinda like "Funny Girl", Latvia 2018: I actually didn't mind it at first but its desperation got on my nerves a whole lot that I got completely irritated. "On a Sunday" has enough elements that I like to keep the irritation feeling at bay, but I doubt that even they will not make me want to smash a chair everytime I hear that chorus again... you think you can suppress your smugness overtime, song? Think again about it later

Oh and there's a supposed revamp, I doubt I would be able to feel any better about that song that way, as long as my mind just automatically recognizes Ester's singing as "whining" for some reason. It probably will make me feel less worse if I see a stage show similar to the absurd mess one from the NF where shit happens and Ester's just chilling on a chair. Game of Loans? Student loans? It was random but I definitely appreciated the scarlet madness all surrounding it. I hope to maybe see something similar in Tel Aviv - edgy imagery, why not. Bring on the candles and the ravens.

To summarize, I don’t think it’s a bad song at all. It’s daring, it’s badass, it's kickass, it comes right at you, grabs you in and you adapt to it however you can be able to. However...

Approval factor: I still have mixed feelings about passing it off as something approvable, but objectively I would like to do so. Good for you to try something different, Romania.

Follow-up factor: Anything at least half-decent is a fine follow-up after The Humans’s mediocrisms (I’m helping the dictionary to have more words, one construction at a time!). I liked the Humans more though and Ester... sort of? But in general context, Ester’s a fantastic successor.

Qualification factor: Somehow this did not sound like a definite Eurovision qualifier to me, so at one point I thought it would be just missing out... but it’s a complete effing borderline of a song. At one point it sounds good enough for a filler qualifier, at another it’s just not qualifying somehow. We’ll see how she rehearses it up in two days, though.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

I think there’s nothing more I can say about Selecția Națională (refered to as SN from this point onwards) than I already said in the intro, so let’s get to the moments, shall we? ;)

• So what else do I have to say about the fanwank-esses that hasn’t been said? Well, on one hand you have an Amazon-jungle-tribal version of “Fuego”, “Army of Love”, performed by Bella Santiago (who had one of my favourite SN entries last year lmao), who went all out with body paint and wild choreo and a rap bridge in Tagalog (one of Bella’s native languages) to make it all sound slightly different than “Fuego”, but still, that pre-chorus just feels like a pitched-down “Fuego” from a B minor to a G flat minor, with the same acoustics and the beat, and the drop is some limp-ass Amazon flutery magic. On the other hand you have a 16 year old Laura Bretan with an poperatic ode to her “Dear Father” which was praised for her insanely good vocal skills (I forgot what’s that called... an alto? soprano? mezzo-soprano? sorry I know a lot about music but not a lot about those ranges) more than the song itself... there’s a big problem about Laura though as people found out that she does not believe and/or condone a marriage between same-sex people. For Eurofans that’s a major red flag as as of lately Eurovision is very LGBTQ+ friendly and having had Laura next to people like Bilal or Mahmood would have probably been concerning if she knew of them having had boyfriends... Like I said, neither of those are special. Imo people loved Bella’s song because of the “Fuego” vibe and people loved Laura’s song because of her voice combined with her age. I said what I said. (Oh and there was a missed opportunity for Il Volo and Laura to reunite this year in Eurovision had they only been chosen in their NFs.)

• Screw these gals, now here come on the real faves of mine - another rock band, obviously, and that’s Trooper. No but for real, could at least ANY country have sent a rock song this year? It could have even been San Marino for all I cared but this year is so MoR without a rock entry... Trooper’s “Destin” sounds like something coming out from an epic fable about legendary heroes fighting for their glory of the nation by slaying goblins with wearing medieval costumes (with a sleeveless top and metal armor for the chest), bearing their long hair and looking strong and hunky. Lai-lai-la-la-la-lai!

• Now what were the other competing entries I liked? There were quite a few like the folk bop titled “D A I N A” and sung by Letiția Moisescu and Sensibil Balkan, then Teodora Dinu’s captivating pop tune “Skyscraper” and a really catchy non-qualifier entry by a band Steam, named “The Way It Goes”... no really Romania, why’d you let that flop... and why did you also let 2 Gents flop... and moreso importantly WHY DID YOU LET THE FOUR FLOP??? That’s like the best football-anthem-esque song I’ve heard in a while... such a shame it didn’t appear on the national selection’s final. Oh well. Poor those 4 young souls.

• Now what were those 3 (actually 4) withdrawals? First one was concerning the first ever Romanian representative Dan Bittman and his own problems so he couldn’t return to a NF and be one of the potential returning artists to Eurovision. Then there was this Australian-Romanian chick named Xonia who withdrew for seemingly no reason, all last minute. There was one more withdrawal from a semi-regular SN participant Xandra too, as well citing unknown reasons. And then there’s Mihai (or as he likes calling himself nowadays, M I H A I) who once again wanted to return to Eurovision (no wonder his Eurovision 2006 song was called “Tornero” lol) with an entry, and this one is called “Baya”. And then he went on an epic quest of flopping - firstly by withdrawing his song last minute from SN claiming that it’s corrupted, then considering to return as a wildcard, then thinking on to latching on to Eurofest in Belarus, but gotten sick last minute and therefore perma-cancelled his NFs journey this year entirely by not appearing on the Eurofest auditions. <3 Not to mention he’s a bit of a creep by subjecting people to his nude pictures with just him in his underwear. dude you’re almost 40, stop doing that to the kids. you’re not even a “daddy”. just look how alien you look on your song’s thumbnail:

• Netta continues her guest appearances on various NFs, such as in UK and in Spain (in spirit, as it was just the Triunfitos singing “Toy” at the beginning of the ESC OT Gala). This one even had her singing her newest song “Bassa Sababa” alongside “Toy”. Oh and there also was one of the Festivali i Këngës 56 alums coming by, Inis Neziri, to perform something for Romania after having won a music competition in Romania, and here’s her performance. But did she even have anything interesting in her backdrop as this?

We know you did Netta sweetie but do you honestly need to reminds us? I did not see Eleni doing shit like this and I don’t want you to do the same. Well if anything I am glad Netta only gracefully performed “Toy” on EYD 2019 (which I missed in my “National Final bonus” section for the UK’s review (as well as them reminiscing Eurovision’s best moments) but frankly I don’t think you cared anymore about it when you learned I was gonna write so many long-ass paragraphs, so yeah)...

• So what was the exact thing again that made everyone such bitter Betties? Well, everyone foresaw Bella and Laura battling it out in this NF, having succesfully qualified together. They even did well in the televote. But then the jury vote happened, and it included the God-forbidden Wiwibloggs duo voting separately and usualy picking all the similar favourites based on performances. They were very pleased with Ester Peony’s on-stage chair prop and her dramatic mess so they gave her their 12s. INDIVIDUALLY. And that’s one of things that pushed Ester higher for the win, despite only having 3 points from the televote lol. But the worst part about it is their opinions: they have praised “Dear Father” so much for mostly the same reasons others praised it so much as well, and were stunned. A what they thought of Ester’s song? That it’s boring. And their mindset switched when voting on this NF, with 12ing Ester and only giving a few feeble points to Laura. That’s where the backlash ensued - not when Emmelie de Forest (yep she was in the jury too) did not give any points to Bella Santiago’s song - just for that notion alone. Maybe it was because of a REASON. Laura’s song in the end is just an uninteresting pop ballad with some additional vocal exercising (too flawless that you even tire from flawlessness), Ester at least brought something to liven up her song, and maybe Wiwis changed their opinion accordingly by not being enthused by Laura anymore! And what’s the problem with that, eh eh eh?.. oh right, y’all accusing Wiwibloggs having rated Laura down because she’s a homophobe. Real friggen’ obviously because of that, you guys. NOT. Grow a brain a bit, will ya. (and even a contestant named Linda Teodosiu was pissed about Wiwibloggs not giving her enough points lmao... her song was a typical ”rent a NF songwriter” spiel so she has no effin’ reason to be mad her ‘originality’ wasn’t awarded lol.)

Worth noting that one of the other reasons people were mad that the juryvote points overpowered the televote big time (like 7 juror votes against 1 set of televotes - inequal) and therefore did not even listen to what they had to say (again, Ester had 3 freaking televote points lol). It’s a thing y’all should get used to - juries overrating an act one way or the other, against the televote’s will. It’s a given nowadays, remember. I know y'all Romanians wanted to scream "ESTER IS NOT OUR WINNER WE HAVEN'T DECIDED HER WE WANT BELLA/LAURA!!!" but that's the truth with the juries.

And thankfully, that is, what I think, all you need to remember from the SN headache this year. Fortunately it’s much smaller than the last year’s headache that, aside from 60 songs in total for 5 semis (!!!), also had a very strictly eliminative system that had 3 qualifiers each from a semi decided by juries ONLY (geez not even A Dal does that!), only to soften things up by having everyone fall down on televote’s hands only during the final. And then the final had the drama on its own. But if I reminisced it all on here, we’d be taking more than just all day, so it’s best that I stop this here and now, for all of ya who are already tired of all this waffle.

Good luck to Ester! and may all of your fans see you performing on a Saturday :)

[mister-tom-a-dildo-lover]

How do you feel when people call Voldemort dumb, cartoonish villain? Do you think he is?

They only paid attention to Movie!Voldemort. In the films, every character is dumbed down considerably. On my main blog, I am doing a re-read of the HP series and am keeping everyone up to date with my observations. I have observed a lot.

Vernon is 10X worse in the books. Easily talking of beating Harry, hating Harry, and expressing no remorse over the thought of him dying. He’s made to be a joke in the films. He is in fact, very abusive and love to lord that fact over others.

Ron is 10X smarter in the books. All of his quotes were given to other characters in the films or just left out. He was regulated to an attempt at comic relief in the film.

Book!Myrtle talks of trying to kill herself after being chased off from Nick’s Deathday Party. She’s more playful in the films but in the movie she has tantrums all the time.

Voldemort monologues in the books, but it also shows his thought process. Limited time in the films means they cut out a lot of his character and the way he thinks.

In the films, things were changed/cut to conserve time. In the books however, there is more depth.

Tom Marvolo Riddle: I Am Lord VoldemortBlood Status: Half-Blood(in denial)Born: 31 Dec 1926Died: 2 May 1998Birthplace: Wool’s Orphanage, LondonTalents: Parseltongue, Powerful Magic, CharismaMother: Merope Riddle née Gaunt - PurebloodFather: Tom Riddle Sr. - MuggleHogwarts House: Slytherin - Head Boy

Notable Happenings in his Childhood/Teen Years:

The Great Depression.

WWII - leads to him witnessing the aftermath of The Blitz. As well as perpetual bombings of London long after the Blitz ended.

Magical War - Grindelwald lording over the magicals all over the world.

Tom Marvolo Riddle was conceived through use of a Love Potion. His mother, in an effort to permanently escape her abusive father and brother, who were in prison for the time being, decided to dose the Muggle she obsessively fancied. She then forced him to marry her, take her to London, and have sex with her.

Over time she began to feel guilty, but waited until she was far along in her pregnancy before releasing Tom from her influence. She had hoped he would at least stay for the baby. However, he didn’t(nor should he have had to). He fled in a panic and she had nothing to her name but the Slytherin Locket, which she pawned off in Knockturn Alley in hopes of getting something to live off of. That didn’t work much either.

She managed to give birth to Tom Marvolo Riddle in an orphanage and died shortly after naming him after his father and her father. She also made a wish for him to look like Tom Sr.. She ‘died of a broken heart’ that in my personal opinion is a load of bull since she forced herself on someone and has only herself to blame for the situation she was in.

Now TMR grows up in the orphanage where people think his oddly named mother was a circus performer since she was so hideous(thanks to inbreeding) and had no man with her. Tom grows up being able to do things others cannot and believes himself to be special.

Like other magical children who show natural aptitude, he wasn’t liked. Much like Hermione Granger wasn’t. He was smart and studious, and poor children who are fighting to get adopted out of a mediocre hellhole during the Great Depression, aren’t going to like that.

He had altercations with some of the children. The matron, a drunkard, blames him entirely. He is framed to be a delinquent, kind of like how the Dursleys had everyone thinking of Harry. And he is a child who grows to hate people who treat him terribly just because he isn’t their definition of ‘normal’.

When he finds out he has magic, he ends up revealing that he can speak to snakes. A teacher, who is supposed to be impartial but who took the words of a woman who inhaled multiple glasses of gin while complaining about how unnatural Tom was, decided to treat him like a monster on the brink of snapping any day. Because of a language. He never told Tom what it meant either.

Tom is a hard worker. He is sorted into Slytherin which is known for treating those who are not Pureblooded, terribly. And with a non-magical name like Riddle, he was probably disliked for a time. And he worked to gain the favor of his professors, save for the one walking on eggshells around him of course.

He begins to collect prominent Slytherins and makes his little group, the Knights of Walpurgis.

In his 6th Year, he opens the Chamber of Secrets after searching so long for information on his ancestry. Marvolo was a magical name, and he somehow learned of Parseltongue being a Slytherin Family trait. So he researches and studies, and finally finds what he’s looking for, though is unhappy to find that his mother was his magical parent. After all, she was weak and died. Why didn’t she save herself and decide to leave him in such a horrible place?

And during these years, he develops a fear of death. But how and why? People scared of dying, are usually faced with a near-death experience, or are made blatantly aware of something dangerous that can cause it. Take a look back at the ‘Happenings’ during his childhood. Muggle war. Blown up buildings. Thousands of people dead. Him being forced to go back to that every summer thereby putting his existence on the line.

These are what created Lord Voldemort. This is his history. A magical orphan growing up in WWII in the thick of the danger, while the world is going through a Great Depression. These experiences shape him.

Orphans cling to anything they own, which helped make him possessive of his belongings. And keeping things from kids who bothered him, isn’t a bad thing in my opinion since I did the same when people tried bullying me. If you didn’t want your hat to get ruined/taken, you shouldn’t have punched me in the face, simple. Keep your hands to yourself.

Tom Riddle as a character has nuance. But he lost his mind with the Horcruxes. He made so many that we see a vast difference in the Tom from the Diary - who has the largest soul piece - and Voldemort from GoF and onward. Looks aside, he starts getting repetitive, and a little frantic in action. He doesn’t plan things out. Why?

Horcruxes eff you up. He made 7. He’s operating on the smallest sliver of his soul and he looked like a scaley cosplayer gone wrong. The whole point of DH was to show how bad Horcruxes are and when you compare Diary!Tom to DH!Voldemort, they are massively different. Both possessive and obsessive, but still vastly different.

Voldemort ends up as a shriveled up baby-look-alike at the end of DH, never to leave Limbo. Horcruxes did that to him. Mutilated him terribly. He went mad because of his own foolishness.

Now do I think that Rowling could have done more with his character? Yes. But book Voldemort has a very interesting background, and the beauty of it, is that Rowling alludes to much in her books. She doesn’t spell everything out for the readers, and expects you to read between the lines.

So for those of us who have been in situations like Severus, Harry, or Tom’s, we see what is wrong with their childhoods and understand better. We pick up little things.

Take Harry for example. There are people claiming he wasn’t abused by the Dursleys, but then the books show him being locked in his room, bars put on his window, a cat flap placed on the door, and Petunia conveniently only feeding him and Hedwig one can of soup a day for 3 days in a row. Or how Harry learned a lesson all abused kids learn early on. [Don’t ask questions!] For those of us who’ve been through things like that, it sticks out for us.

Voldemort is an example of what went wrong in the worst way. He, Severus, and Harry are examples of the same thing going in three different directions. Voldemort got into Dark Magic and became obsessed, losing himself as he happily drowned in it. Severus got into Dark Magic and realized he was in too deep but it was too late to save him. Harry got into Dark Magic, realized it wasn’t good, and chose to stop thanks to the examples of the two before him, warning him away.

We are supposed to juxtapose Harry and Voldemort. Harry being on the one end of the spectrum and Voldemort being on the opposite end. ‘It’s our choices’ and all that rubbish.

[LIGHT]—-|—-[DARK] 

Voldemort, while not as detailed as I think he should have been toward the end, did what his character was supposed to. And that is to prove that absolute power demoralizes.

He is not cartoonish, though he is a drama queen and an attention seeker. But in the words of Sherlock Holmes, ‘the frailty of genius, [John], it needs an audience’.

[robiindood]

ANXIETY ALL THE TIME

I just want to share my thoughts this past few weeks... I am currently having anxiety attacks again and some kind of deep thoughts that I cant explain.  During this pandemic having anxiety attacks is said to be just normal lang daw, dahil almost everyone experienced that, surprisingly some of the most unexpected people that I look up so much revealed that they also experience anxiety attack lately and they all started only this pandemic. I am so scared of so many things. I am scared of the COVID risks. I am scared to lose someone I loved the most. I am scared to lose my job. I am so scared to be left and to have nothing at all.  They say that I am a peoples person, kaya nung nag pandemic and nakulong ako parang nakulong din yung personality ko na yun. A lot of things were affected kahit yung pag labas ko pag nag cocommute ako sobrang iba na, di na rin ako ganun ka confident tumawid sa kalsada and nag pi freak out ako pag may malalakaing truck na katabi yung sinasakyan ko. Di ko alam anong nangyayari sakin pero parang mas namodulate pa nung pandemic yung mga existing fears ko. Sobrang nakakadagdag pa yung mga taong nakasama mo before eh unti unti na nawawala. I admit kuya Jayson was a big part of my teen age years so iba talaga feeling nung nawala sya yung everyday thoughts  ko about life and death nag iba talaga kasi naman he was only on his early 30′s and yet nawala na sya. Another person that made everyone on our circle so shocke is the untimely passing of our Brgy. Youth Committee vice president Ryan Javier. He was only 22 I guess but he died of something related to respiratory illness. That was so surreal. We didn’t beleive the news at first and we were all so saddened by his untimely passing.  Ryan was so kind, even we just known  each other for a short period of time, I know that he is a kind and really nice person we talk sometimes and he is so smart. He has a lot of potential kapag naging lisensyado na talaga sya. I heard he got his first exam and passed that. He is just waiting for another exam and fully he will be a certified Engineer.  A lot of things happens for a reason daw. For the reason per se we as the member of the circle or the society must understand. Assess the situation and give a solution if needed. This week, I feel so insecure somehow. Insecure but not to wish others suffer. Insecurity that made me think to strive and work harder. I keep on telling others to step up the game and do what ever it takes just to make it there or feel the success right away.  Pero hanggang ngayon sa sarili kong buhay naging kontento ako, naging okay na bahala na I feel so WALA LANG or BAHALA NA in short mediocre living which to be honest I am not happy with.  I need to do things as early as now. I need to help my family and myself experience the most fantastic life that this world could offer habang nabubuhay pa kami.  I love making my family happy kaya gusto ko lagi sila nasa unahan ng priority ko. Maybe others wont understand why I invested more to my family than to my personal needs and when I said invested hindi lang financially yon I invested 100% in all aspects including love, time, and effort sa kanila dahil gusto ko yon at masaya ako don. We never experienced to have a good life as in yung bang iniisip talaga nila mama at papa kakainin namin araw araw pagkakasyahin kinikita ni mama yung bigay ni papa. I cant imagine how difficult that for them. So as the one who can do something para at least maprovide ang mga dapat i provide then I am here. I am willing to do that.  Let us all be contented.  Let us all be happy :) Isa pa wala naman nag kakagusto sakin para mag laan pa ko ng ilang pursyento para sa kanya di ba.... hahaha pero kung bibigay naman why not di ba???? hahahah pero now talaga focused ako sa dreams ko.  :)  Pero eto na nga nadagdagan na naman yung anxiety ko at kaguluhan ng isip ko. Nagka mini reunion kami ng college friends ko and the topic mostly whole evening was about the work and their salary. Hearing what they are now, made me so shock, one of our classmate and good friend of mine disclosed his salary actually katabi ko sa upuan yon hahahha Like... WHATTTTT 100K sahod mo sa isang buwannnn?????? Nakaka gulat nakaka inggit and sobrang happy ko for him pero at the back of my mind theres something telling me na HUYYY ROBIN GISING ANO NA wala ka man lang sa kalahati ng sahod nya ah...  hahahha sobrang inggit ko. Another classmate of mine told us na lilipat na sya ng company and nakapirma sya na inofferan sya ng 35k pero another company is offering her ng much higher its like 45k daw and she was from the BPO as a call center and she wanted so bad to get in the industry and makukuha na nya dahil yun g offer sa kanya ay for Software QA. I got so jealous kasi ako nasa 4years nako nasa industry pero mas matataasan na nya ako. I feel so bobo feeling ko daming maling desisyon ko sa past ko. I am nothing but a mediocre pretentious smart smartan. Ineexpect din nila na maging ganto ganyan ako kasi I was the consistent deans lister sa amin nuon like ako lang ata sa history ng CS batch namin na naka kumpleto ng deans lister since first year first sem hanggang 4th year second sem. Hahaha not to boast kasi never ko talaga tiningnan yan as basis of my knowledge. Yes its an achievement pero hindi para mahiga ka jan,  Yung mga kaklase ko akala nila ang sarap ng sahod ko at madami ako naging pera. My gulay hahaha wala talaga. Kaya eto na naman ako apply dito apply doon sana may tumanggap sa akin :(  Yun lang naman just want to share here something that bothers me and made my head spin like crazy. this is for the next chapter of my life kasi babasahin ko ulit to sa future at pagtawanan ko talaga sarili ko how petty this issues of mine is. I am looking forward of my success.  I know kasi Im a fighter and di ako titigil talaga. Sabi nga ni Ms. Candy Pangilinan “Do not compete, Do not Conform, Do not Compare. So your life will be satisfied and contented.” Wala kang dapat patunayan sa ibang tao. Mabubulok din tayong lahat pag dating ng panahon success, fame, fortune and etcetera will all be gone. Hundred years from now sino na lang ba magsasalita sa pangalan mo? sino ang interested pa din sayo? Unless maging political or pubic figure ka na di kakalimutan ng buong nation hahaha pero tingin ko may chance pa din for you to be forgotten so okay lang yan hahaha...  No need for glamour just be simple and live happily.  :)  #FIGHTERAKO

[ineffablecolors]

NEW TALES FROM THE OLD FOREST [5/a few more]

New Tales from the Old Forest; ~ 3, o00 words; FF.NET || AO3 Lovely banner by the equally lovely @katie-dub !

Hey, thanks so much to everyone who so enthusiastically dived back into this story again - means a lot! Hope the joy of the season is already upon you! :)

She wraps her arms tighter around herself and jumps in place to get the blood flowing or whatever people hope for when they do that. Perhaps they hope to jump high enough that they never come back down and just orbit the cold earth from then on. Sounded plausible enough.

But, looking out at the Storybrooke harbor, Emma has to admit that she kinda gets what Killian sees in the place. When it’s not trying to turn you into an icicle that is.

This is ridiculous. She knows enough about Storybrooke to find some hot cocoa, warm food and well, just warmth in general. So with one last semi-mournful, semi-accusatory look at Killian’s house, she gets back in her bug and asks Henry how he feels about some grilled cheese.

///

Emma knows next to nothing about Storybrooke. Usually it’s her complaining to Killian about the hustle and bustle of New York City and he either doesn’t have a bad word to say about the sleepy town he spends most of his time in or he is way less of a whiner than Emma.

(It’s probably the latter but she likes to reassure herself with the former.)

She knows nothing until the day of “The Big Skype Hijacking” as her son had dubbed it. Why? He had a lengthy explanation about the importance of title-picking for a budding author. She… does not entirely get it. Then again, maybe she is a bit prejudiced ever since “The Horrific Waffle Fiasco”. The nerve on that kid, she swears.

It all starts with her getting home early and hearing Henry’s laugher. The pros of having an 11-year-old include the fact that you are still not completely banned from the perimeter of their room but at the same time you have been made aware of what a privilege that is. And how soon it will be taken from you.

As it stands Henry’s door is thrown wide open, probably thanks to the sneaker that is jammed half under it. A definite sign of the haste with which he threw himself on his bed. And the voice drifting from his laptop explains it all.

“Well, that is quite the fascinating story, lad. So now he is stuck with this little bird?”

“Yes, but he has no idea what to do with it. He says the thing is nocturnal and won’t let him sleep!” Henry’s merriment makes her mouth tick up in seconds.

Killian’s deep laughter doesn’t hurt either.

“And has your teacher actually been to see the poor creature? Or its poor besotted owner?”

“That’s the thing – I don’t knoooow! His “bird-induced insomnia” was the last we heard from David. You know, when he came by the school to drop off some textbooks we had left behind. I’ve never seen anyone look so happy about kids leaving their stuff all over.”

“Hmmm. Well, this just won’t do now, will it? We need more intel before we can proceed with any confidence.”

“Well, I was thinking…”

Uh-oh. She knows that tone. Last time he heard that tone, they spent 3 hours in The Belle of Bookstores and came out carring so much shit Emma didn’t have to workout for a week.

“Mhmmm…”

It seems like Killian has a sixth sense about “the tone” as well.

“Maybe you could convince mom that a pet is a good thing for a kid to have around. You know, a pre-teen thing. She is really into those recently.”

“Right. And me, with all my expertise on pre-teens...”

“You write children’s slash young adults slash anyone who has good taste books!”

“Flattery will get you nowhere, young man!”

“But it might get me a puppy!”

“I’m glad to see you think your mother so easily bought, kid,” she finally joins in, leaning a hip on the doorjam and crossing her arms in her favourite ‘I’m a single mom who takes no bullshit’ pose.

“Oh. Hey, mom,” Henry, on the other hand, has his own favourite ‘I’m your little angel and you’ll forgive me anything’ face.

“Nonsense, Swan, the lad thinks your defenses so insurmountable that he felt the need to contract a professional tale spinner.”

The laptop is angled so that she can’t see Killian’s face but Emma finds herself perfectly capable of envisioning his ‘I’m so charming and suave, how can you resist me’ grin.

Because it’s 5pm and the universe is probably napping and so unable to conspire against her, Henry’s phone rings not 10 minutes later and Emma has no qualms about settling herself on the floor beside his bed and dragging his laptop into her lap.

Hijack #1: Emma Swan taking over for Henry Swan

“Fancy seeing your face, love.”

“Wish I could say the same but that light is really not doing you any favours.”

She teases him because she can. Because they’ve established that “they definitely did not break up” three weeks ago and have talked every day since. She teases him because they are good. If she wasn’t afraid that it might wake up the universe and jinx them all to hell, Emma would say that they are very good.

“Oy! No need to take me down quite so many notches, Swan. I believe this place was designed to flatter Ruby’s pale complexion and no one else’s.”

It is so obvious that he is in a public place, a diner of sorts, with a vibe that’s even familiar-ish. Which is why the slight note of irritation? warning? jealousy? in her tone is absolutely ridiculous and yet-

“Who’s Ruby?”

“Oh. Have I not told you this?”

“Mmm, don’t think so.”

Yup, definitely irritated now.

“Remember where I had my signing in your fair New York?”

“Yeah, I seem to recall that place and event. I believe Henry made me check it on Google maps 4 times. 4 times. A bookshop that we had been to before! I’m surprised he didn’t make me do a test drive before the signing to see how fast we get there.”

“Right,” he probably deserves some credit for swallowing his laughter but she sure isn’t going to give it to him. “And you know Granny? From the diner across the bookstore?”

“I’ve only been addicted to her grilled cheese for like 2 years. ‘Course I know Granny, Killian, would you get to the point already?”

“Bloody hell. Fine. Long story short – and trust me that’s no small sacrifice for a writer – Granny used to run a diner in Storybrooke with her granddaughter Ruby. They were doing real well but then Ruby went off to model in New York so they decided to open a… a branch there. But then, one Christmas-“

“Wait, wait. I’m sorry, hold up and take in some air, I didn’t mean get to the point that fast.”

Killian, bless him, actually does need to suck in some air and she shakes her head in fond exasperation.

“So, let me see, if I’m getting this right. Granny, the same Granny who has been feeding me and Henry almost every weekend for years now, used to live in Storybrooke? You used to know each other?”

“That is correct. Is why I chose the bookstore across her charming establishment. And why she was the one keeping everyone there hydrated and nourished.”

Emma snorts. She’s hard pressed to define Granny’s hot chocolate as hydrating. You can eat the thing with a spoon, it’s so thick and creamy… Some days Emma thinks she’d rather part with a kidney than Granny’s cocoa.

“Alright. Let’s ignore how absolutely bizzare that coincidence is-“

“As I told you, lass, no coincidence at all. I very purposefully chose-“

“Right, right. I got it. But still. You know Granny! Our Granny!”

“Well, to be fair, Swan, she was my Granny first.”

His grin is infuriating. And so is the way his hair falls across his forehead. And the light circling under his eyes. And the long eyelashes that swipe over it whenever he blinks at her. How can someone look so innocent and infuriating at the same time?

She knows Killian Jones is far far from innocent. And maybe it’s because she knows his story that sometimes she just wants to reach through her laptop (or Henry’s as the case may be) and brush his hair and wrap her arms around him and smother him with kisses. And that’s just plain ridiculous so-

“Whatever. Why is she here and her granddaughter is in Storybrooke, if she was the one working in New York?”

The granddaughter is still… a question mark. An ex-model question mark.

“As I was just saying, one Christmas Ruby came back and after one too many holiday run-ins with a certain deputy, she never left. But the place in New York was literally ready to open and, if you know Granny, you know that woman never turns down a challenge, so… Granny is there, making sure you don’t starve on your stakeouts and Ruby is here, bugging me closer and closer to an early grave. One mediocre cup of coffee at a time.”

“I heard that, Jones!”

And Emma heard that.

“Granny’s is a chain… Huh. I guess wonders do never cease…”

“Sorry, love, Regina seems to be calling me on here. I’ll just give her a call instead and be right back.”

And that’s how it happens.

Hijack #2: Ruby Lucas taking over for Killian Jones

“Freaking finally! I thought I’d never get my chance.”

Suddenly Emma’s screen is filled with a whole lot of what she will soon know is Ruby Lucas.

“Hey?”

“Hi! I’m Ruby. And you must be the magical Emma!”

Emma sputters. It’s not graceful and it’s not pretty but at least she’s not drinking anything.

The hell? What kind of things has Killian been saying about her?

“Excuse me?”

“Hmmm?”

“Magical Emma?”

“Oh. Sorry. That’s just what I’ve been calling you in my head. Not like to Killian’s face or anything.”

The Ruby girl gets a thoughtful, borderline fiendish look on her face.

“Maybe I should. Can someone die from blushing?”

“Umm… I don’t think so. Can we go back to how we’ve never met but you have like… a nickname for me?”

Eyes darting away just for a second, probably to check that Killian is still occupied with his manager, and Ruby fixes her with a serious look. It’s like watching all the bubble exit a champagne bottle until all that’s left is concentrated alcohol that can really do a number on your head.

“He’s been back in Storybrooke for a few years now. But he’s only been back for a couple of months.”

…

“Oh.”

…

“I don’t know what kinda magic,” Ruby scrunches up her unnecessary perfect nose and waves her hand in what Emma supposes illustrates magic. “you’ve been doing but just keep doing it, yeah?”

…

“I-“

…

“And that’s how Jones ended with a drawn mustache and a perm!”

“Bloody hell, woman!”

“She needs to be warned.”

“Get off. Off. Stay away from my computer and my- Off.”

“Looovely to finally meet you, Emma!”

Ruby leaves with a wink and a wave and a generous view of her retreating back. Killian reemerges with the most sheepish look on his face and she smiles.

She doesn’t call him her boyfriend either. The word feels so… foreign. She is not sure her mouth would know how to form the syllables.

But other parts of her anatomy are definitely beating out the rhythm.

“Bloody hell, why does Regina insist on skyping me?!”

Hijack #3: Roland Hood stealing the whole show

///

He can tell she is up to something. He knows his mom pretty well – has known her all his life, you might say.

She is great at fooling all her “targets” and depositing their asses in jail before they even realized what the hell is going on. She is not too bad at faking it with his teachers and the other parents at his school either. Expect her smile is always like… extra tight and fake-y around the other moms, especially the ones with such long nails that Henry is always a bit apprehensive about shaking hands with them – except they usually prefer to pat him on the head and squeeze him up with something like “poor sweetheart” which makes his mom look even more like an arrow drawn up and ready to fly off. Honestly, sometimes he doesn’t get adults at all.

But he gets his mom and he knows she is up to something. It’s just that… he is as well so he’ll let it slide this one time.

Henry figured (and Killian reluctantly agreed) that just because they are not getting a pet, doesn’t mean that Killian possibly can’t. There is, of course, the small matter of him being in another state but somehow David doesn’t think to ask after any whereabouts when Henry tells him he is picking a cat for his mom’s boyfriend.

Killian asked for more intel before he agrees to tackle the Teacher-Pet case. He also vehemently protested naming it that but, for the life of him, Henry doesn’t understand why – it is all about getting his teacher together with the pet shelter’s owner. It is perfect and Killian is being silly.

It is fun really. To find out that Killian can be silly as well and get cranky when his coffee is “bollocks” (whatever that is, he isn’t supposed to use it). He never really considered the fact that Killian Jones might be genius and talented and super awesome but also… silly. It’s nice.

And because he has seen Killian in action – his mom told him all about Roland hijacking Regina’s Skype and calling Killian non-stop for a full two hours before he was discovered – he knows that his matchmaking skills are the best money could buy – or, you know, puppy eyes since it’s not like he has any money. He feels like he might be getting a bit old for that trick but it seems to work just as well on Killian as it always does on his mom and desperate times…

///

The idea pops into her head about an hour after “meeting” Ruby for the first time. And once there it’s like that little piece of popcorn that’s stuck to the roof of your mouth and keeps annoying you and you just can’t get it off.

And then she goes to Granny’s a couple of days later and the woman looks at her over her glasses and says she heard her granddaughter made her acquaintance. Says she heard someone else has been making her acquaintance as well. Emma is pretty sure that’s not how you use that phrase but she is also too busy dumping half the cinnamon shaker in her cocoa and fleeing as if Granny had turned into a pack of wolves.

And then Ruby adds her on Facebook. And Emma eyes the request suspicious all Thursday and then she does the one thing Emma from like 4 months ago would probably gag at her doing. She asks Killian what he thinks. And frankly? Emma from like 4 months ago can suck it. Because she has someone whose opinion she values and respects and actually wants and she is OK with telling him that the brunette freaked her out a bit and eventually, after a couple of hours on the phone, she even tells him she was a bit “on the fence about this Ruby chic” when he first mentioned her and if his smirk is anything to go by, he knows exactly what that means but just shakes his head and says “Lucas is a pest. The big, fangy kind, not the kind you can swap away”. And really in the end, Killian just tells her to go with her gut – Ruby is cool in his books, her grandmother probably saved him from being homeless both times he rolled into Storybrooke with nothing but the clothes on his back, an unfinished manuscript and a spectacular hangover. In the end, it’s not about Killian telling her what to do at all, it’s about her having someone to talk it out with and make up her mind. It’s new. It’s kinda wonderful.

And then Henry asks if he can invite Killian to his birthday. His birthday. In August. 5 months away.

And then because being his girlfriend or whatever (she still cannot say the thing with adding “whatever” after, she has tried) doesn’t mean that she is not still a fan or whatever (that one is just a bit embarrassing – being a fan of your boyfriend… or whatever). So, yeah, she checks Killian Jones’ blog, which he updates only every month or so but, yeah, she follows him on Instagram and she follows his blog and whatever, he follows her as well and once said something ridiculous along the lines of him being a fan of her, like every part of her or whatever, so yeah. It’s fine.

But then she opens his blog, while on a ridiculously unproductive stakeout and she sees his last post from a couple of hours ago.

The wonder isn’t that love find us, as strange and magical and mystical and wonderful and unbelievable as that feels.

The wonder is that even when we never find it, even when love waits in the wings of dream for too long, even when it doesn’t knock on the door we’ve been staring as for years, or leave messages in bottles or on answering machines or on Facebook walls or in the bloody sand to be washed away by the waves of time, even when love doesn’t put flowers in our hands or tears of incomparable joy or unimaginable heartbreak in our eyes… even then… so many of us never stop believing in love.

Imagine how lucky we are. To have such hope, such faith. And then, occasionally, when we are so very very lucky… such love.

She is doing it.

[eledritch]

10 Tips for Writing (Good) Smut

so. let’s do this.

About a year ago, I had to read a book for my school’s summer reading assignment called How to Read Literature Like a Professor by Thomas Foster. It’s not a bad book, pretty decent actually, but there was this one chapter about sex scenes in literature. And one of the first sentences was along the lines of “writing sex is boring.”

and I did a double-take. Bc in my experience, that is absolutely not the case, and if you do find yourself bored while writing smut, then you’re not doing it right. See, Thomas’s main argument was that there’s only so many ways you can write sex scenes, because there’s only so many sex acts you can choose from. (My boy Thomas is clearly a vanilla dude, but let’s not hold that against him.) 

But one of the most important things to keep in mind while writing smut is that it’s not necessarily just about the act itself. So while Thomas is right that there are limits as to how many ways ppl can have sex, he failed to realize that writing sex is about a LOT more than that. And I’m gonna prove it to you.

Just to get it out of the way, I’ve been writing smut for about 6 years now. I’m 18 now, so yeah, been doin’ this since I was 12. Which is a little weird, thinking back on it, but honestly I think it’s healthy for adolescents/young teens to explore their sexualities and learn about sex in a safe, controlled setting like writing fanfiction has been for me. 

It was a better sex ed than anything else I got in Arizona, that’s for sure. And for the record, I’m a virgin and I don’t believe you need to have sex to be good at writing it. Conversely, you could have sex a hundred times and still not be good at writing it. The important thing is that you EDUCATE yourself and do your research so you know what the heck you’re writing about.

When I first started writing smutty fics in middle school, they were pretty bad. Not the worst, but not good either. Don’t let the seemingly simple nature of writing sex fool you - it can be really hard (ha, ha). Even if you’re a good writer, you might try to write a sex scene and find yourself slogging through it because you, like my boy Thomas, are focusing only on the act itself. that’s a mistake. don’t do that. 

Which brings me to this list of 10 things you SHOULD do:

1. You gotta get in the right mood. By this I don’t mean you need to be horny to write smut, you absolutely don’t, in fact you probably shouldn’t bc you're likely to get distracted. What I mean is that if you wanna write vanilla, sweet, slow love makin’, then you should be in a good or at least halfway decent mood. Get comfy. Make yourself a warm drink. 

Don’t try to write sweet sex if you’re angry or upset or sick or in pain - it’s either gonna turn into not sweet sex, or it’s gonna take you a long-ass time. Case in point, I tried to write a tender blowjob scene shortly after getting my wisdom teeth removed and just couldn’t do it, because ow, can you even imagine.

But you can use those negative moods/emotions to your advantage, too. If you're having a bad day, it’s actually a great catharsis to take those feelings out in your writing. You can apologize to your characters later - or maybe you’ll work out all your pent-up rage halfway through a brutal scene and turn it into something a little less intense, that works just as well!

2. Do your research. Research is important before you dive into any piece of writing, but it’s a necessary step for writing smut. If you’re a virgin or have no experience with the kind of sex you’re writing about, you’re gonna have to do some Googling. You don’t need to look up porn, porn honestly grosses me out and isn’t my favorite thing to draw from, but you do need to know the complete ins-and-outs (ha...) of whatever act you’re writing about. 

A good way to do research is to read other fanfics, popular fanfics by seasoned authors who have gained a large following/a lot of attention by writing the right stuff. You can also check out posts by people who actually gave tips to fanfic writers, there are several by gay guys which are helpful if you’re not a gay guy and you’re writing a sex scene about gay guys. They’re the authority, listen to them over the fanfic authors.

If you’re delving into something like BDSM in your writing, do your research on that, too. Don’t misrepresent people and practices just because you didn’t bother to learn about them. If you’re not willing to learn about them, you’re not going to be able to write about them. 

Oh, and lastly, but not leastly, LUBE. if your characters are having anal sex especially, they need to use lube, my dude. the human body made that rule, not me.

3. Write empathetically. It’s unavoidable - when you’re writing smut, you have to learn how to put yourself into the shoes of the POV character. This can be kinda challenging if, for instance, you don’t have a dick and having a dick is very important for the POV character to make that scene work. But that’s what your imagination is for - use it. 

Think about how this character would experience this situation not just in terms of the obvious sensations they’re feeling, whether pain or pleasure, but also in terms of their thoughts, their emotions, their memories, etc. A lot of good characterization can happen during sex scenes, and it makes me sad that all too often writers don’t take advantage of that. 

4. Don’t be afraid of using repetitive words. Sex is a repetitive act, get that through your head before you write it. One of the most irritating things I come across while reading smut is the author’s need to use endless synonyms for ‘cock.’ Stop. Please stop. Cock is fine. You can use ‘dick’ too if you really wanna add some variation. But anymore than that, and it’s just downright distracting. Don’t use member, penis (just...not a sexy word, at all), organ (NOT SEXY), etc - use length, prick, and erection sparingly if at all, and boner is more of a funny word than a sexy word, so keep that in mind. I’ve also seen ‘manhood’ used and i mean....i guess??? but why would you use that when you can accomplish the same thing in 4 much better letters? C O C K. just do it.

alternately, when referring to parts of a cock, just stick to the basics. shaft, head/tip/crown, balls. that’s it. maybe talk about veins if you’re gettin real detailed. you don’t need to wax poetic about it, or about the actions within the sex itself. you’ll find yourself reusing a lot of verbs and that’s ok! the usuals may include (but are not limited to) - thrust, buck, shove, press, slide, glide, ride, fuck, bounce, drive (into), arch, kiss, suck, bite, stroke, smack, slap, rock, embrace, squeeze, tremble, shudder, moan, groan, whine, whimper, hiss, shout, scream, gasp, curse, beg, sob, grunt, sigh.

5. Understand connotations vs denotations of words. This is an important tip not just for smut writing but for any writing. Words that may be ‘synonyms’ in terms of definition may not actually be synonymous. This can be an issue if English isn’t your first language - even if it is, it still trips people up. ‘Shudder’ and ‘tremble’ are both defined as someone’s body shaking, but they have different meanings! Shudder is more violent/intense, more of a full-body kinda deal and often more negative in connotation (i.e. ‘shudder of fear’). Tremble is more subtle, and more of a localized thing (i.e. his hands trembled) and connotates nervousness or apprehension more than outright fear - or it can be used to convey a more subdued/internalized fear. There are situations in which they can be interchangeable, and situations in which they really aren’t.

Understanding exactly what words mean will help you know when to use them and make your writing more fluid, comprehensible, and realistic for the reader. 

6. Avoid using cliche/overused phrases. For the love of god, don’t use the phrase ‘their tongues battled for dominance.’ I’M BEGGING YOU. listen, i’m guilty as charged, i’m sure i wrote it at some point in my earlier days, but don’t make the same mistake! not only does the phrase have some troubling implications about the perception of m/m relationships (in which the phrase is almost exclusively found) as little more than a fight for dominance, it’s just...that’s not how kissing works? 

Your tongues don’t battle, that’s not a good description for it. Why would you use a cliche phrase like that when you can talk about teeth clashing, tongues pressing, mouths sliding/slipping, biting at lips, hair pulling, nails scratching, hands grasping, pulses racing, and everything else that goes into kissing? Using phrases that many have used before you is a lazy way out and it dulls your imagery and the reader’s immersion into the story. 

7. Think for yourself while writing and be original! It’s the only way you’re going to find your unique voice, or writing style, which often shines through in smut-writing and sets yours apart from the rest. Writing mediocre smut is easy, but if you’re reading this, you don’t want to go that route. While it’s helpful to draw from other smut writers when you’re getting started, you need to be able to draw from your own mind above all. 

Yeah, it’s true that your fifth grade teacher probably didn’t mean ‘brainstorm new and exciting sex positions and scenarios’ when she said ‘be creative.’ But you’re not in fifth grade anymore (or at least, you better not be), and that’s what I mean when I’m telling you to be creative right now. 

Developing your voice/originality happens through a variety of ways, including plain old practice, trial and error, and understanding the technicalities of writing. What I mean by that is remembering all the stuff your English teacher taught you about - imagery, figurative speech, idioms, irony, dialogue, diction, syntax, figurative devices, metaphors, simile, etc. Speaking of which...

8. Everybody loves a big, dramatic sex metaphor once in a while. This is tricky, because you really shouldn’t overdo this - if you do, you risk making your smut the most pretentious, unreadable piece ever. Metaphors tend to do that when you use them without discretion. But when you choose and use them carefully, you can turn a sex scene into something more meaningful, both for the character and the story as a whole. 

If you’re just writing a quickie in a club bathroom, don’t bother with this (unless that quickie was life-changing and birthed the spark of TRUE LOVE between your characters, which is entirely possible, no judgment, I’m happy for them). But if you’re writing about your character losing their virginity, having sex with someone who means a lot to them, having sex with someone who just returned from a long absence/is leaving them for a long time, etc...you may wanna make things a little ~deep~ for a second. 

I’m not gonna tell you exactly how to write your sex metaphors because you’ll know when and how to use them if the occasion presents itself and if you have your voice figured out. Talk about bodies being more than bodies, lips being like brands of fire, whispers being sacred vows, orgasms being fuckin’ nirvana, idk, orgasms are tricky because sometimes people will write ‘his orgasm RIPPED through him’ and you’re like ??? is he okay? that sounded painful...

You can see how metaphors can quickly make a story exhausting/confusing/unenjoyable if you use them too much. But once in a while? Man, go for it. 

9. Humor is key. This is perhaps one of the most important tips I have for you, because personally it’s improved my smut writing the most, as well as made the whole activity a lot more fun. Smut is supposed to be an enjoyable thing to read. But no matter how arousing/hot/absolutely obscene you make it, some readers are going to get bored. I said earlier that sex is a repetitive act, it just is. Your goal is to make it sexy AND entertaining. You want to keep the reader engaged. 

And humor is the best way, I’ve found, to do that. A lot of fanfiction sex is guilty of being too perfect. Try to steer clear of that. As tempting as it can be to make a sex scene where everything works without a hitch and everyone is serious, fully consumed with love/arousal, etc, there is something genuinely delightful about writing the awkward, funny parts of sex, too. They don’t have a place in every scene, but in many, especially first times/trying new things, they’re great. Not only does adding humor make your characters seem more human and likable, it makes the bond between them seem more real and makes the reader more attached to them.

And isn’t that the point? Your readers aren’t gonna to want to read about flat characters they can’t relate to or straight-up dislike, no matter how hot the sex is. 

10. Don’t forget the little things. This final point goes back to what Thomas got wrong in his book. Sex should NOT be boring to write. Don’t write on the surface about what’s happening, adjust the lens through which you, the character/s, and the reader view it. Write about the sex itself but also write about the little things (not your character’s dick, don’t be mean) - the freckles on their lover’s shoulder, the fading bruises on their neck, the way their lover’s hair feels against their skin, all the not-obvious sensations that add realism and a spark to the scene that sets it apart. 

This goes for non-tactile things as well - maybe your character has ADD or is just distracted easily, and goes off on tangents of thought (or speech) during sex. Maybe they’re really fascinated with a certain aspect of their partner/s, like their eyes or mouth or hands or the sounds they make. Maybe they notice small details about the setting - the smell of the sheets is comforting, the crack on the ceiling reminds them of their bedroom back home, the weird deer head on the wall looks like it’s staring at them, the possibilities are literally endless. It’s up to you how you want to use them, but please - use them. 

So in summary, no, Thomas, writing sex - and reading it, for that matter - shouldn’t be boring. It’s an excellent way to further characterization, improve your writing, find your voice, and make your story overall a better one.

[surveystodestressme]

52.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 12

1101. Continued…Let’s see if I’m psychic. You wrote three yes or no questions. Now I will answer them. 1 yes 2 no 3 no Did I get any right? idk 1102. You wrote one question that can be answered with a color (example: what color is my car). I say…. White. Is it true? no my underwear is green and pinklol 1103. You thought of a number between 1 and 100 and typed it down. Was it 14? nada 1104. You wrote one more question, anything you wanted. The answer is yes, 42, orange, Matt, Josh, Kim, Nicole, whatever or your mom. Does that answer your question? lol you’re bad at this 1105. Do you think that Britney Spears would make a good Bond Girl? no

1106. Have you read anything by C.S. Lewis? yeah 1107. What is your favorite movie with Bill Murray? i can’t think of one right now 1108. What is your favorite movie with Jack Nicholson? doesn’t he do the shining?  and the bucket list? bc those are both rlly good 1109. What is your favorite movie with Christopher Walkin? idk 1110. What is your favorite movie with Johnny Depp? alice in wonderland 1111. What is your favorite movie with Orlando Bloom? idk any at the top of my head 1112. What rhymes with ‘orange’? door hinge 1113. Why do guys have nipples if they will never need to feed a baby? that’s just how they’re born 1114. Some people think that couples should be screened before they are allowed to reproduce (so that people who cannot afford to support a child don’t have one, or so that a child won’t be born into a dysfunction family or to unfit parents). What do you think about this? honestly as long as the test is accurate and shit, i think it’s a good idea.  too many kids get born into shit homes or with bad people and it sucks bc they’re wayyy too many kids in foster care and end up going up for adoption bc of this 1115. Have you ever swallowed an object by accident? a penny when i was little 1116. Did you get it back? yes 1117. Do you prefer He-Man or She-Ra? don’t even know what those are 1118. Are you proud of yourself? i’m doing ok with life right now so i suppose 1119. Who should go to hell? bad people 1120. Is your eyesight 20/20? not even close 1121. Have you ever had insomnia? yes. 1122. Does it bother you when people touch you? if it’s someone i don’t know or don’t like, then yes 1123. Is it better to get too much or too little sleep? i’d rather have too little honestly bc i know how to deal with that lol 1124. Have you ever given away something you made? What? yeah some ceramics projects i made in class 1125. Is it better to have kids when you are in your teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, or older? i’d say mid to late 20s 1126. What gets your adrenaline pumping? making rash decisions 1127. Is hell all fire and brimstone or is it personal for everyone like in Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey? Or does it not exist? it doesn’t exist 1128. Do you ever talk about yourself in the third person? only when i’m trying to be funny 1129. What’s your favorite radio station? What kind of music do they play? i listen to 105.7 a lot, and rock 1130. What did you think of these movies: Election? Gone With the Wind? Fight Club? pretty good!! Spider Man? depends on which one we’re talking about The Virgin Suicides? Resident Evil? Signs? it’s ok Muppets from Space? Pearl Harbor? Halloween Resurrection? not bad The Dark Crystal? 1131. Is everyone special? i suppose 1132. Are your toes: Painted (what color)? Manicured? Sparkly? Soft? Wearing a toe ring? Do you have hobbit-feet? none of these honestly lol 1133. Do you believe there is anyplace still undiscovered in all the world? of course 1134. Whose picture would you like to paint a target on and throw darts at? dahmer 1135. Is love all you need? no necessarily 1136. Ever caught a fish? yep 1137. Are you adventurous? i try to be 1138. Are you afraid of mediocrity? not afraid of it 1139. Would you rather die tomorrow or have all your friends die? i’d rather die 1140. What are 3 things you don’t understand? 1 why people are rude 2 why the world is such a cruel place 3 why people decided money should rule everyones life 1141. I would do anything for love but I won’t do 'that’. What is 'that’? kill myself 1142. Has your diary ever been rated? idek what that means? 1143. Do you do more than kiss on the first date? i’ve never been on a real date besides with my current boyfriend so idk but i don’t think that i would 1144. Are you very liberal or conservative? idk 1145. What do you like about your neighbors? i don’t really like my nieghbors lol 1146. I read that by 2010 they expect to market a gene therapy procedure that will increase the life spans of adult human beings by double or triple. If this happened would you have it done? nada 1147. If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands. Did you clap? yes 1148. Was this year a good year for you? so far 1149. What are you looking forward to next year? moving and switching colleges 1150. Are you a Jim Henson fan? not really. 1151. What do you think of these diarist names? ToxicToast: Solitary Music: gemini_wish_star: juneberry: haha idc. 1152. Do you read the Diary Master’s diary? no. 1153. Have you ever made an enemy on OD? no. 1154. Have you ever (or do you know anyone who’s) been deleted from OD? idk what that is. 1155. Were you ever in the first row of a concert? not yet 1156. Did you ever meet a celebrity? Who? steve-o 1157. Do you have any autographs? yes. 1158. Can you visualize whirled peas? idek what that is 1159. Are there some situations where love just isn’t enough to keep 2 people together? When does that happen? idk 1160. Do you have no attention span? i do 1161. What do you think of these entry titles? me. back. home: steak and butter: The Smurfs Go Communist: The controversial Athens: 1162. Have you ever been wrongly accused? yeah 1163. When you wash your hair do you blow dry it or let it dry naturally? naturally 1164. Where does your family go on vacation? we don’t go on vacation anymore 1165. Have you ever been to: Newport, Rhode Island? nope Dutch Wonderland? no. Salem, MA? no Niagara Falls? no 1166. Have you ever given money to OD cares? no. 1167. Have you ever created an OD interest? If yes, what interests did you create? IDK WHAT THAT IS 1168. What do you think of these entry names? DEAR SOUL FRIEND 57 Loss: I had a good title but i forgot it: Left Alone: yeah yeah…he kissed her: cool. 1169. If you have aol what is your 'you’ve got mail’ sound? IDK 1170. What will you never have enough of? food. 1171. Who can you only handle in small doses? My brother 1172. You are at a magic auction where you can bid on impossible things but you only brought enough money to buy one thing. Out of these..which would you buy? entrance into whatever afterlife you believe in a guarantee that you will have at least 3 books published in your life a new car, house and boat each year unending creative inspiration ultimate compassion and acceptance of others a trip into outer space perfect health for the rest of your life 1173. In the above question if finding perfect love was a choice would you change your answer? no, bc i have that now.  well it’s not perfect but ya know 1174. What food is so fattening or unhealthy that you would NEVER touch it? nothing lol 1175. Which do you love more, your country or your planet? country. 1176. What do you think of: Abba? idk Brian Adams? idk No Doubt? good shit 1177. Are you more logical or emotional? emotional lol 1178. Do you think that tattoos and piercing are overrated? not at all 1179. What do you think of these diary titles? The Seamless Garment: Your eyes can be so cruel: What was, is no more: shock me sane: omg i don’t care about these. 1180. Do you believe that Michael Jackson molests children? i don’t even know man 1181. Hypothetically, let’s say that he did molest them. Who would you feel should be held MORE accountable, Michael Jackson or the parents that allowed their children to go to Never Land Ranch unsupervised for sleepovers? both i suppose 1182. Have you ever been to: Manhattan? no Disney? no Paris? no Anywhere cooler? 1183. What 3 music videos should everyone download? i don’t really watch music videos 1184. If someone bet you ten dollars that you couldn’t sing the whole Gummy Bears theme song, would you be able to do it and win? nope 1185. Do you like Bjork? don’t know what that is 1186. How about the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club? ^ 1187. What do you think of Moby? ^ 1188. What do you think of Alien Ant Farm? they’re good 1189. What do you think of the Flaming Sideburns? idk them. 1190. Do you believe that imps, trolls, giants, dragons, unicorns, etc. were real but became extinct? nope 1191. What sucks? school 1192. What do you think of these diary titles? Geologist to the Stars: The Hussy Chronicles: Gravy: Napping in the Broom Closet: again, idc. 1193. Do you ever think about suicide? i used to 1194. Do you believe that Jesus Christ was a real person? How about Noah? dk dc 1195. What is one luxury you refuse to live without? running water lol and electricity 1196. What is one luxury you feel you could live without? technology, like my phone or laptop 1197. Do you feel that you are high, medium, or low maintenance in a relationship? medium. 1198. What do you think of these diarist names? N.Y.S: Collapsibleman: *})|({*: black dove: omg bye. 1199. Do vegetables taste better from the store or from your garden? both they taste the same 1200. How long have you spent on this survey so far? too long

[dragonydreams]

Steal the Air - Captain Canary Pump Up the Volume AU

Title: Steal the Air Fandom: DC's Legends of Tomorrow Rating: Teen Pairings/Characters: Sara Lance/Leonard Snart Summary: Leonard Snart is your regular quiet nerdy guy by day, but at night, make sure to catch his Facebook Live posts as the mysterious Captain Cold. Modern Pump Up the Volume AU Timeline: n/a Word Count: 5,142 Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over these characters. I am merely borrowing them from Berlanti Productions, DC Entertainment, and Warner Bros. Television. Betas: Thank you to angelskuuipo and shanachie_quill for looking this over for me. Author's Note 1/Additional Disclaimer: I love the movie "Pump Up the Volume" and thought it would work so well as a Captain Canary story. It's so brilliantly written, that I couldn't bring myself to change many of the words from the film, so much of the text belongs to Allan Moyle and New Line Cinema. Author's Note 2: Written for @ficcingcaptaincanary​'s Movie AU prompt. (Told you I was going to be late with this.) Author's Note 3: Youtube links to songs used in story as you read or listen to playlist for this story on Spotify

Did you ever get the feeling that everything in America is completely fucked up? You know that feeling that the whole country is like one inch away from saying, 'That's it, forget it.' We live in a world where vigilantes dispense justice in the cities and metahumans rule the streets. And we're expected to survive high school and go out into that crazy world. I can barely think about surviving another day of mediocre education, let alone making it in the "real world". You know what I'm talking about, Starling City. So sit back, relax, and do not adjust your screen because I am Captain Cold and this is live. This is life.

~~*~~

"Hey, Sin, have you seen this?" Sara asked, sidling up next to her best friend as they headed into Starling City High School.

"What?" Sin asked, taking the cell phone from Sara. She glanced down at the open Facebook app. "Captain Cold? Yeah, I've been watching. You like every one of his posts so I was curious. Who is he?"

"No one knows," Sara said, taking her phone back and pulling up his profile. "The only photo is his profile photo with the huge parka and dark goggles. You can barely see his face."

"Maybe that's the point," Sin said. "He leaves that photo up blocking the camera for the live videos on purpose."

"I know, but he's gotta be a student here. He's as much as said so," Sara pointed out. "I'm gonna find him."

"Good luck with that," Sin said.

~~*~~

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed Everybody knows the war is over Everybody knows the good guys lost Everybody knows the fight was fixed The poor stay poor, the rich get rich That's how it goes Everybody knows - Everybody Knows, by Leonard Cohen

Okay, down to business. I got my Black Jack gum here and I got that feeling, mmm that familiar feeling that something rank is going down up there. Yeah, I can smell it. I can almost taste it. The rankness in the air. It's everywhere. It's running through that old pipeline out there, trickling along the dumb concrete river and coming up the drains of those lovely track homes we all live in. I mean, I don't know. Everywhere I look it seems everything is sold out.

My dad sold out. And my mom sold out years ago when she took off after birthing my sister. And then he went and brought us here, to this this shitty corner of the world. He made me everything I am today, so naturally, I hate the bastard.

~~*~~

Laurel Lance sat on her bed, laptop open on her outstretched legs as she watched Captain Cold's live feed. She muted the video as her dad came into the room.

"I don't know how you get perfect grades when you're on that thing all hours of the night." Laurel felt like her smile was more of a grimace. "Don't forget that your Harvard interview is tomorrow. Don't want you looking tired. Good night, Sweetheart."

She kept the smile plastered on her face until her dad had closed her bedroom door before unmuting the video almost violently.

She didn't know why, but this Captain Cold seemed to understand her in a way her father never would.

~~*~~

I'm getting a lot of comments and private messages here. 'Dear Captain Cold, my boyfriend's giving me the cold shoulder. How do I show him that I really love him?' Why do you keep asking me for love advice? Do I seem like I have a lot of experience with relationships? If I had a girlfriend I'd be making out with her instead of talking to all you lonely freaks. 'Dear Captain, I think you're full of crap. High school isn't as bad as you make it out to be. Cheer up, buddy.' Well, you may be one of the few teenagers who doesn't hate high school, but let me tell you something, you're in the minority. You wanna know why I'm not "cheery"? I just got dragged to this dumb city. I don't have any friends, no money of my own, no car, and oh yeah, no license. I don't know what good a license would do since there's nothing to do here anyway.

~~*~~

Leonard Snart hesitantly went up to the librarian's desk in the school library, handing over the book he was returning to the cute blonde girl who was working at the desk.

"Hi," she greeted him.

"Hi," he automatically responded, adjusting his glasses.

"You're in my writing class, right?" she asked.

Leonard really wished the teacher hadn't read from his paper in today's class, drawing this girl's attention to him. Pretty girls like her made him nervous. "Uh huh."

"I like Mrs. Smoak. She's quirky." She turned away to look at his check out slip. "Now you're in trouble!" She paused dramatically. "You owe me twenty-five cents. 'How To Talk Dirty And Influence People' by Lenny Bruce. Who's he? Any good?"

Leonard shifted uncomfortably as he dug a quarter out of his pocket and handed it to her. "He's all right."

"Talk a lot?" Sara teased.

"Not too much, no," Leonard responded, making his retreat.

~~*~~

Sara pulled out a school newspaper with pictures of all the senior class in it as she watched the quiet new guy practically run from the library. She found his photo and circled it, then crossed it out. "Cute, but no way," she mused.

~~*~~

Curtain’s call Is the last of all When the lights fade out All the sinners crawl

So they dug your grave And the masquerade Will come calling out At the mess you've made

Don't wanna let you down But I am hell bound Though this is all for you Don't wanna hide the truth

No matter what we breed We still are made of greed This is my kingdom come This is my kingdom come - Demons, by Imagine Dragons

Guess who? It's ten o'clock; do you care where your parents are? After all, it's a jungle out there. I don't know. Everywhere I look it seems that someone's getting butt surfed by the system. Parents are always talking about the system, and the sixties and how cool it was. I hate the sixties, I hate school, I hate principals, I hate vice principals! But my true pure refined hatred is reserved for guidance counsellors. Captain Cold just happens to have in his very hands a copy of a memo written by Mr. Slade Wilson, guidance counselor extraordinaire to one Miss Amanda Waller, high school principal. "I found Miranda un-remorseful about her current condition." Bastard can't even say she's knocked up. "And she's unwilling to minimize its effect on the morals of the student population." Guidance counsellors! If they knew anything about career moves would they have ended up as guidance counsellors?

~~*~~

Carter Hall was sitting in front of his computer, Captain Cold's livestream open in one window with a blank Word doc open in another.

He hastily muted his computer as his mom knocked on the open door. "Carter have you finished your homework yet?"

"Yes," he somberly answered.

"Your father and I are downstairs, why don't you come and join us for once," she implored.

"No," Carter refused.

"Okay, Carter, have it your way," she said, sadly.

"Thanks," Carter said as she retreated.

Carter unmuted his computer as he typed: Dear Captain Cold, do you think I should kill myself?

~~*~~

I took the pistol and I shot out all the lights I started running in the middle of the night The law ain't never been a friend of mine I would kill again to keep from doing time You should never ever trust my kind

I'm a wanted man I got blood on my hands Do you understand I'm a wanted man - I'm a Wanted Man, by Royal Deluxe

Send me your most pathetic moment, your most anything, as long as it's real. I mean I want the size, the shape, the feel, the smell. I want blood, sweat, and tears in these messages. I want brains and ectoplasm all over them. Hallelujah! And now, all my chilly listeners, get comfy because my White Canary is back. "Come in. Every night you enter me like a criminal. You break into my brain, but you're no ordinary criminal. You put your feet up, you drink your mug of hot chocolate, you start to party, you turn up my stereo. Songs I've never heard, but I move anyway. You get me crazy, I say 'Do it.' I don't care what, just do it. Jam me, jack me, push me, pull me -talk hard!" I like that. Talk Hard. I like the idea that a voice can just go somewhere uninvited and just kind of hang out like a dirty thought in a nice clean mind. To me a thought is like a virus. You know, it can just kill all the healthy thoughts and just take over. That would be serious.

Sara was lying on her bed, listening to Captain Cold read her message for all the world to hear. "That would be totally serious," she agreed.

I know all of my chilly listeners would love it if I would just call up the pretty bird lady. But no! Because she never encloses her number.

Sara laughed. "Tough luck, creepoid."

She's probably a lot like me, a legend in her own mind. But you know what, I bet in real life she's probably not that wild. I bet she's kind of shy like so many of us who briskly walk the halls, pretending to be late for some class, pretending to be distracted. Hey, poetry lady, are you really this cool? Are you out there? Are you listening?

"I'm always out here," Sara promised.

I feel like I know you, and yet… we'll never meet. Ah, so be it. I don't know; drugs are out, sex is out, politics are out, everything is on hold. I mean we definitely need something new. We just keep waiting for some new voice to come out of somewhere and just say, "Hey, wait a minute, what is wrong with this picture?" Well maybe this is the answer to everything, wouldn't that be nice, huh? "Dear Captain Cold, do you think I should kill myself?" Great! Signed, "I'm Serious." And of course there is a number here. Hello, Serious?

Carter Hall took a deep breath and answered his phone. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" Captain Cold asked.

"Yep," Carter answered.

"I guess what I'm asking is how serious are you? How are you going to do it?" Captain Cold asked.

"I'm gonna blow my fucking head off," Carter responded.

"Oh! Well, do you have a gun?" Captain Cold asked.

"No, I'm going to use my finger, genius," Carter said, sarcastically.

"All right. So where is this gonna take place, huh?"

"Right here," Carter said.

"Where is this alleged gun? Do you have it with you? Did you at least write a note? You have a reason, don't you? You're not going to be one of those people who kills themselves and nobody has any idea of why they did it? Hey, that's why we need a note, pal!" Captain Cold cajoled.

"I'm all alone," Carter admitted.

"No, hey, look, maybe it's okay to be alone sometimes, everybody's alone," Captain Cold insisted.

"You're not," Carter said.

"I didn't talk to one person today, not- not counting teachers. I sit alone every day you know, sitting in the stairwell eating my lunch, reading a book. What about you?"

Carter hung up the phone. His mind was already made up. He loaded the gun.

I hate that, now I'm depressed. Now I feel like killing myself, but luckily I'm too depressed to bother. Great! Straight to voicemail. Rejected again, that's okay I'm used to it, terminal loneliness. People always think they know who a person is but they're always wrong. Most parents have no idea. It's just that mine had me tested because I sit alone in my room alone, naked, wearing only a cock ring, heh heh! I mean it really bugs me, everyone knows what a person should be, who cares how I should be! You know, in real life I could be that anonymous nerd sitting across from you in Chem. Lab, staring at you so hard, you turn around, he tries to smile, but the smile just comes out all wrong. You just think how pathetic, then he just looks away and never looks back at you again. Well, hey, who cares, that's my motto. Well, sleep tight, Miranda, sleep tight, White Canary, sleep tight, Mr. Serious. Maybe you'll feel better tomorrow.

Sara went to the paper she had taped to the wall of what she knew about Captain Cold so far. She wrote down that he ate lunch on the stairs reading a book.

She had a pretty good idea where to go look now.

~~*~~

Leonard was sitting outside with an open book and his lunch the next day, like he did every day.

The pretty girl from the library skipped down the stairs and stopped in front of him. "Hi, got a stick of gum?" She grabbed the package out of his shirt pocket, triumphantly. "Black Jack! My name's Sara, what's yours?"

"Leonard."

"Leonard," she repeated. "Well, hi, Leonard."

"Hi," Leonard said, marking his place in his book and closing it.

"Listen, I was gonna cut fourth period, do you wanna join me in the art supply room?" Sara asked.

"Er, no, I can't, got to go, sorry," Leonard said, awkwardly getting to his feet and practically running off.

"Sorry!" Sara called after him. "Maybe next time."

~~*~~

Mrs. Smoak was somber as she got the class's attention. "I have some very upsetting news. Last night one of our students, Carter Hall, took his own life. For those of you who knew him, there will be a memorial service at Dempsey Hall on Friday. I know it hurts, it's painful to lose someone."

~~*~~

Leonard found a quiet corner on campus and pulled out his phone. He opened Captain Cold's Facebook account and read the newest message from White Canary aloud, to himself. "You're the voice crying out in the wilderness, you're the voice that makes my brain burn and makes my guts go gooey. Yeah, you gut me, my insides spill out on your altar and tell the future, my steaming gleaming guts spill out your nature. I know you, not your name, but your game. I know the true you, come to me or I'll come to you."

"So you are him," Sara exclaimed from behind Leonard, causing him to jump. "Don't worry I'm not going to bust you or anything. Aren't you going to ask who I am?"

"No, I don't think so. No!" Leonard said.

"I'm the White Canary!" She boasted. "You don't believe me." She grabbed his phone and quoted without looking at the screen, "'I know you, not your name, but your game. I know the true you, come to me or I'll come to you.' Hey, relax, I'm not really like that, except when I am."

Leonard tried to get away from her, still upset from learning about Carter's suicide. "Look, I really can't handle this right now, okay?"

Sara looked at him sympathetically, as if she could read his mind. "Look, it's not your fault. I was listening last night. I didn't think he'd go through with it."

~~*~~

You're free to do what you want You never thought of consequences You created your own little world Where you could always be different

A place where the rules do not apply You could never be denied You took advantage of a good think Now the void you filled is empty

Put the mask back on Put the mask back on Don't take it off 'til everybody's gone

Put the mask back on Put the mask back on No disguise has ever lasted so long - Cover Up, by Trapt

You see I never planned it like this. I set up this account to talk to my old friends, but they didn't know to look for me under this handle. I thought I was talking to nobody. I imagined that nobody was listening. Maybe I imagined one person out there. Anyway one day I woke up and I realized I was never going to be normal and so I said fuck it, I said so be it and Captain Cold was born. I never meant to hurt anyone, honestly, I never meant to hurt anyone. I'm sorry, Carter. I never said, "Don't do it." I'm sorry. Um, anyway I'm done, stick a fork in me it's been grand. This is Captain Cold saying sayonara, over and out.

Sara sat staring at her computer as the video ended. "Come on, you can't do this," she told the screen.

Laurel shook her phone in the bedroom next to Sara's. "This is a joke right?"

"C'mon, Captain baby, don't stiff," Mick, Sin's boyfriend, complained as they watched together.

Leonard Snart paced around his bedroom, staring at his computer equipment. "What am I doing? Fuck It!" He sat back down and queued up a new video session.

You hear about some kid who did something stupid, something desperate. What possessed him? How could he do such a terrible thing? It's really quite simple, actually. Consider the life of a teenager. You have parents and teachers telling you what to do. You have movies, magazines, and TV telling you what to do. But you know what you have to do. Your job, your purpose, is to get accepted, get a cute girlfriend, and think up something great to do with the rest of your life. What if you're confused and can't imagine a career? What if you're funny looking and you can't get a girlfriend? You see no one wants to hear it, but the terrible secret is that being young is sometimes less fun than being dead.

"This is great, he's making it worse," the reporter commented to his cameraman outside the high school the kid who'd killed himself had attended. Whoever this guy was behind the parka and goggles, he'd made an impression. Whether that impression was good or bad, remained to be seen. What would get better ratings?

Suicide is wrong, but the interesting thing about it is how uncomplicated it seems. There you are, you got all these problems swarming around your brain, and here is one simple, one incredibly simple solution. I'm just surprised it doesn't happen every day around here. Now, now they're going to say I said offing yourself is simple, but no, no, no, no, it's not simple. It's like everything else, you have to read the fine print. For instance, assuming there is a heaven who would ever wanna go there, you know? I mean think about it, sitting on this cloud, you know it's nice, it's quiet, there's no teachers, there's no parents, but guess what? There's nothing to do! Fucking boring. Another thing to remember about suicide is that it is not a pretty picture. First of all, you shit your shorts, you know. So, there you are, dead, people are weeping over you, crying, girls you never spoke to are saying, "Why? Why? Why?" and you have a load in your shorts! That's the way I see it. Sue me. Now, they're saying I shouldn't think stuff like this. They're saying something is wrong with me, that I should be ashamed. Well, I'm sick of being ashamed. Aren't you?

"Sick to death!" Laurel agreed.

I don't mind being dejected and rejected, but I'm not going to be ashamed about it.

"Hallelujah," Sara called out.

At least pain is real. You look around and you see nothing is real, but the pain is real. You know, even this show isn't real. This isn't me; I'm using a voice disguiser. I'm a phony fuck just like my dad, just like anybody. You see, the real me is just as worried as the rest of you. They say I'm disturbed, well, of course, I'm disturbed. I mean we're all disturbed, and if we're not, why not? Doesn't this blend of blindness and blandness want to make you do something crazy? Then why not do something crazy? It makes a hell of a lot more sense than blowing your fucking brains out, you know. Go nuts, go crazy, get creative! You got problems? You just chuck 'em, nuke 'em! They think you're moody? Make 'em think you're crazy, make 'em think you might snap! They think you got attitude? You show 'em some real attitude! Come on, go nuts, get crazy. Hey no more Mr. Nice Guy! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, oh god!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, oh yes.

We're all excited But we don't know why Maybe it's cause We're all gonna die

And when we do (When we do) What's it all for (What's it all for) You better live now Before the grim reaper come knocking on your door

Tell me, are we gonna let de-elevator bring us down? Oh, no let's go!

Let's go crazy Let's get nuts Look for the purple banana Until they put us in the truck, let's go! - Let’s Go Crazy, by Prince

~~*~~

Laurel Lance took Captain Cold's words to heart. She grabbed her ribbons and trophies - symbols of her academic achievement, of her so-called perfect life, and carried them down to the kitchen where she stuffed them in the microwave. Just before she slammed the door closed, she ripped off her stupid pearls and tossed them in, too. She punched something into the timer and watched in fascination as the items slowly spun around until the microwave exploded, spitting debris hit her in the face, knocking her out.

The explosion drew Sara out of her bedroom and down the stairs where she found her sister unconscious on the floor. She looked around, bewildered, until she saw the microwave and she burst out laughing.

"You tell 'em, Captain Cold," she muttered, reaching for her phone to call an ambulance.

~~*~~

The next day, Leonard watched as students rearranged the cards on the notice boards to spell out STAY COLD and hung signs that said THE TRUTH IS A VIRUS. Some of the teachers were running around freaking out, trying to get it all down. Others thought it was about time someone made a stand.

Sara tracked down Leonard and got him alone in the art room. "So, I don't know if you know this, but my sister is the perfect Laurel Lance." Leonard shook his head to indicate that he had not known this. "So, last night she burned up all her shit right after you suggested it, in our kitchen! Oh, her precious pearls were flying like bullets. Dad was un-thrilled."

Leonard ran a hand over his closely shorn hair. "This is out of control."

"Yeess!" Sara emphatically agreed, grinning maniacally.

"That's it, it's over. I just hope it isn't too late," Leonard said.

"Leonard!" Sara called after him as he ran away, again.

"Just leave me alone, okay, please?" he called back over his shoulder.

~~*~~

Leonard allowed his dad to drag him to the PTA meeting at the school. He slumped down in his chair as Principal Waller tried to conduct regular business when all the parents wanted to do was talk about him. Well, Captain Cold. He sat up straighter as Laurel Lance walked up on the dais.

"My name is Laurel Lance and I have something to say to you people. People are saying that Captain Cold is introducing bad things and encouraging bad things. But it seems to me that these things were already here. My god, why don't you people listen? He's trying to tell you something is wrong with this school. Half the people that are here are on a probation of some kind. We are all really scared to be who we really are. I am not perfect. I've just been going through the motions of being perfect, and inside I'm screaming."

"Laurel, you were a model student," Waller said, disappointment evident in her voice.

Leonard made a hasty retreat after Laurel left. This was all getting to be too much.

~~*~~

Leonard stood leaning against the wall outside the sliding door of his basement bedroom, deleting messages for Captain Cold on his phone.

"Hi! What are you doing? You having fun?" Sara asked as she approached him.

"Yeah," Leonard said, absently.

"Hey, look, I took some of these off the wall for you. I mistakenly thought you might want them," she said, thrusting some handmade signs at him.

"Thanks," Leonard said, letting them fall to the ground.

"So I guess you're not going on tonight," Sara commented after a few minutes of silence.

"Brilliant," Leonard drawled, pushing off the wall and going back into his room.

Sara huffed, following him. "Is this all just a game to you? You know you can't just shout 'fire' in a theatre and then walk out. You have a responsibility for the people who believe in you. What is this? C'mon say something, say anything. Open your mouth and say, 'Get the hell out of here bitch.'"

"I can't," Leonard said.

"You can't what?" Sara demanded.

"I can't talk," Leonard ground out.

Sara snorted. "Sure you can talk."

"I can't talk to you," he clarified. He let out a noise of frustration as he sat in front of his computer, put on his headset, and opened Facebook.

I got a message from this guy who's got a problem, he can't talk. I mean he can talk, but never when he wants to, not to girls, not to people. He just opened up his mouth and nothing came out. And this jerk finds somebody that he likes, which is probably the worst thing to happen to a person who can't talk. So, I don't know what to tell this guy because lately every time I give out advice the fit hits the shan. So, I don't know, maybe the best thing to do is just turn around and face the music and try to talk.

Leonard turned around to talk to Sara but she's gone.

"Leo," Lewis called, knocking on the door.

"Coming," Leonard called back, pausing the video and turning off the monitor.

"Leo, it's just me. I wanna come in for a minute," Lewis said, turning the locked doorknob.

"Yeah, just give me a second here, two seconds," Leonard said, taking off the headset and hiding it under a dirty tee-shirt.

"Open the goddamn door," Lewis shouted.

"On my way," Leonard said, checking the room one last time before yanking the door open.

"I have been out there for two minutes, what the hell are you doing in here?" Lewis demanded, looking for evidence of drugs or alcohol. Or a Facebook video.

"I was just reading," Leonard said, gesturing to the book on his desk.

"Oh c'mon, Leo, I heard you. I heard you talking," Lewis said.

"I was reading aloud," Leonard quickly said.

"Oh c'mon, do you really expect me to believe that?"

"Okay, I'll tell you the truth," Leonard said, not sure what he was going to say.

"He was talking to me," Sara said, popping up from behind the loveseat. "Hi, I'm Sara Lance."

"Nice to meet you," Lewis said, stunned. "How do you do?"

"I was afraid you would be mad at me for disturbing Leonard's homework," Sara said.

"You don't know how happy I am to meet you," Lewis said, looking at his son with new appreciation.

"Listen, I've got to go, but it was really nice to have met you. Bye, Leonard," Sara said, taking a step towards the sliding door.

"No, you don't have to go. Leo, she doesn't have to go," Lewis said.

"Bye now, see you tomorrow," Sara said with a wink to Leonard as she slipped outside.

"You've been a bad dog, haven't you?" Lewis said, punching his son lightly on the arm. "You know, for a second there I thought you were that crazy Facebook character they've been talking about on the news."

"Maybe he's not that crazy, Dad," Leonard suggested.

"Right! Very funny. Go get her, go on. That's my idea of homework," Lewis cajoled.

After his dad left, Leonard got his microphone back on and resumed his session.

Sorry about that, folks, technical difficulties. Let's see who we have out there tonight. The usual band of teenage malcontents. I certainly hope so, because Captain Cold is feeling kind of rude tonight.

~~*~~

Let's go out in flames so everyone knows who we are 'Cause these city walls never knew that we'd make it this far We've become echoes, but echoes are fading away So let's dance like two shadows, burning out a glory day

Devil's on your shoulder Strangers in your head As if you don't remember As if you can forget It's only been a moment It's only been a lifetime But tonight you're a stranger Some silhouette - Silhouette, by Aquilo

After Leonard put on the song he went outside to get some air. It had been a surreal night so far. He'd called Mr. Wilson again and was informed that his phone was being traced. Too bad for the cops that it was a burner phone. They could triangulate his signal, but not to his specific address, especially once he removed the battery and sim card from the phone.

He wasn't surprised that Sara was out there, listening to his cast on her phone.

"It's okay, you don't have to talk, you don't have to say anything and you don't have to do anything, unless you want to," she said, approaching him slowly.

"You're so different," Leonard said. "I mean, you're so fearless. I wish I could be like you."

"You are," Sara said, stepping close to him. They're so close but still not touching. Swaying together in the warm breeze. Almost dancing.

"I wish I could say things to you," Leonard said, raising a hand to hover over her cheek before lowering it.

"You do," Sara said, so earnestly. She grabbed his hand and placed it over her heart.

"Everything's so strange," Leonard whispered, his fingers flexing against her shirt.

"Yeah," Sara agreed, her breath hitching at their nearness.

"Maybe we're just crazy," Leonard said, meeting her eyes.

"So be it," Sara said, rising on her toes and pressing her lips to his.

Leonard wrapped his free arm around her back, pulling Sara closer as she wound her arms around his neck. The kiss was clumsy, messy, all teeth and hard lips, but neither cared. They paused, panting for breath before coming together again in a much more satisfying kiss.

"So be it," Leonard whispered against her lips.

The End