#why do I often think about how many times we’ve hugged. why do I want to live up to their high opinion of me.

[strohller27]

.

[schuylerpeck]

we were going to be gray-haired and wrinkled together; houses-a-few-streets-away, corner-bar-that-knows-us-by-name, best friends for life. 

in the days before I moved out of state and across the country, I re-wrote and deleted a text to you over and over; wondering if it was common decency to let you know I was thinking about/was going to/left. I didn’t. even now, from 2,000 miles away, I still wonder if one day we’ll cross each other on the street—if our first instinct will be bared teeth or remorse. 

what would I say to you, now that years have passed and have carried my anger with it? I don’t think I want to know why you did what you did. I don’t think there is any going back. instead, I’d ask if you remember the night we drank enough that Ratatouille became a horror movie. that time I bussed across the city to your house, through a monsoon and the beginning of a divorce, the Snapchats I’d sent singing Black Eyed Peas at empty bus stops to keep myself from crying. how long you hugged me when I arrived. the afternoons walking through the mall long enough to round back to the chocolate store for another free sample. how many different shades your hair has taken since we met—if I can still name the reason each time you reached for a bottle of hair dye. when we all snuck into your boyfriend’s work and played beer pong after hours and your mother cheered you on harder than she had for high school sports. I’d tell you I often revisit those videos the night we did mushrooms and hearing our voices still make me laugh. I’d ask when did you get over your fear of horses. who holds you now. if you’re doing better.

maybe, just a little bit, I’d still want to know why. 

this isn’t the first time I’ve realized, after the wisdom of a few years, that under the catty lines and thrown insults and inventing new ways to block the other out, is the grief of losing what was believed to be forever. eviction from a home we made in the other. I’m comfortable enough now to know that I can miss you and still be grateful we’ve moved forward without each other; that I can be hurt and still wish you the best. 

I think that’s it. whatever sidewalk, whatever town, whatever likelihood I’d ever see you again: I’m not sure about forgiveness, but I wish you the best.

[goth1clee]

Loki (he/they) x male reader (established relationship)

You are a part of the avengers, and you’ve been overworking yourself. Loki sees this and wants you to rest and look after yourself.

You sat quietly at the countertop, still groggy and forcing yourself to stay awake. It had been two days since you’d seen your partner Loki, as you had been sent on a long and arduous mission with the rest of The Avengers. As much as you loved being a part of the team and fighting along aside your friends, your heart ached whilst being apart from Loki. Despite both of you only being together a few months, you were pretty much inseparable and still struggle to be without each other’s company for more than a few days.

You swivelled around on your chair to face Loki, who was making herbal tea for the both of you. He noticed you gazing at him and shot you a flirty glance. He smirked when he saw the soft glow on your cheeks.

“Enjoying the view my love~”

He walked over to you, holding the two mugs, and he placed them carefully on coasters (god knows how many times he complained about people not using coasters).

“How’s are you feeling my love?”

You smiled; his whole personality seemed to soften around you; his tone and overall demeanour changed immediately in your presence.

“I’m doing ok hun.” You smiled, not wanting to worry them.

Loki sighed and sipped his tea. You knew that he worried about you constantly-he hated seeing you hurt no matter how serious the injury is. You saw his expression and decided to change the subject.

“I missed you Loki.”

Loki smiled as looked into your eyes, knowing you’d fold the second they made contact.

“Those two days felt like a lifetime.”

Everything he said was poetic; Loki had an amazing way with words. He looked back at you as you hid your glowing face in your hands discreetly, and smirked.

“Aww you’ve gone all shy already. We’ve only been in each other’s company for about half an hour and you’ve gone coy, my love”

“Stop it, you know what you’re doing.”

You giggled as he put his palm to his chest sarcastically in shock.

“Me? Why, Y/N, explain what it is you’re accusing me of doing?”

He grinned as you became more shy-he revelled in it. He inched his chair closer to yours, in a childish manner almost, and snaked his hands round your waist, embracing you.

“Let’s make a deal shall we darling,” he spoke softly, rubbing your back as he did so, “next time Stark sends you on a long mission, you refuse, is that ok?”

“Lohoki I can’t just say no, he’s kill me.”

Loki grinned once again as he adored hearing you laugh. They took a small sip of their tea, then turned to look at you.

“So then my love, it is probably about time that you had some rest. You’ve been busy working for far too long.”

He spoke kindly; his offer was always so tempting, however you sighed and slowly got up from your chair.

“Honestly Loki and d love to, but I’ve got some stuff I gotta finish, then I said to Steve I’d train with him-“

“Y/N,” Loki cut you off mid sentence, “please rest. You’ve been over working yourself for a while now and it’s unhealthy.”

“I know Loki, but I have to get things done, or they’ll get on top of me. I can’t be flaky.”

Loki’s eyes flickered with sadness.

“Darling nobody thinks you’re flaky, in fact you are completely the opposite. Every person in this building would be able to tell me that you’re overworking yourself.”

His words comforted you, however that didn’t fully change your opinion-you were stubborn and they knew it. Loki thought for a second, then grinned at you. He made his way over to you and hugged you from behind.

“What could I do to convince the handsome but overworked love of my life that he needs to rest? I wonder…”

Before you could protest, Loki began kneading his fingers into your hips. You desperately tried to suppress a giggle.

“Lohoki Odinson, do not start.” Your voice cracked slightly as you began to giggle-Loki knew you were more ticklish than you cared to admit, so he often used it to his advantage in situations such as this.

“Oh, using my full name? You must be serious my love. Why don’t you let loose for me hm?”

Loki picked you up and carried you to the sofa, where he threw you down and held you r arms above your head with one hand. He used his other hands to wiggle his fingers above your belly. You giggled nervously, which made him more amused.

“What’s so funny?”

“Lohoki get off me!”

“But I haven’t even touched you yet.”

“Ihi can stihill feel it though.”

“Well you going to feel it even more, riiight about….now.”

Loki dug his fingers into your hips, making you squeal and laugh harder. He enjoyed moments like this where you both were playful and childish. Considering the both of you had grown up quite fast as children and were never really given the time for playing and other acts like this, Loki always found opportunities to tease or tickle you in some way; it was one of their ways of showing affection.

Plus, as embarrassed as you were about this fact, you didn’t exactly *hate* being tickled. You struggled to even say the word without feeling uneasy and your face heating up. Loki noticed this within less that a few weeks of knowing you, and he immediately sought to find you alone and test out their theory. Of course he was right, and also pleasantly surprised.

“So my love, are you going to take some time off training and work to rest and take care of yourself?”

Loki spoke in a playful but soft tone; one that made you want to melt under his touch.

“Ihill have to check with st-EHEVE LOKI NAHH.”

Before you could try and protest, Loki had put his head on your stomach and was lightly nibbling your lower ribs and tummy.

“What a ticklish boy you are~”Loki grinned to himself as he spoke. “What was that? You’ll have to speak clearer.”

He teased you, knowing you wouldn’t be able to retaliate in this state. He fluttered his fingers over your underarms, making you cackle, much to your embarrassment.

“Oh now that’s just precious.” He cooed over you, genuinely enjoying himself.

“IHI SWEAR TO GOHOD, PISS OHOFF”

Loki gasped in sarcastic shock, “Language my love! We can’t have that can we?”

Loki moved his hands off your abdomen and his hands darted into your underarms.”

“GEHET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OUT”

Loki smirked and laughed to himself; your reaction was very entertaining.

“Well I can’t exactly move my hands can I love, you’ve clamped your arms down.”

You hesitantly loosened your arms to let him take his hands out of your armpits, but you held his hands away fro m you to avoid another rounds of ticklish attacks.

“Right then, do you swear that you’ll come relax with me for a while?”

“YEHES FINE JUST GET OHOFF ME”

“Do you swear?~ Loki lightly scribbled your tummy, making you squeal.

“IHI SWEAR”

Loki smiled and aloud you to regain your breath and some energy. As you calmed down, Loki put his arms around you and embraced you. As you hid your red, flustered face, Loki grinned mischievously.

“Oh yeah and one last thing…”

Before you had time to react, Loki hoisted your shirt up and blew a raspberry on your stomach, causing you to fall back on the sofa and scream.

“LOHOKI YOU ASS”

They smiled and ruffled your hair. As you giggled one last time, he smiled again at your expression and pulled you closer.

“Ihim sorry my love, it was too hard to resist. Now, shall we call Steve and the others to let them know of you plans?”

You nodded and curled up next to him on the sofa. The other Avengers completely understood your plans and didn’t think any less of you-all of them agreed you had overworked yourself recently and more than deserved some quality time.

“See, that wasn’t so hard was it darling?”

Loki chuckled as you frowned and snuggled closer under the blanket.

“You look utterly shattered darling~”

“Yeah well I’m bound to be a bit tired after all that aren’t I?”

“Oh Y/N, don’t act like you didn’t have a little bit of fun darling. From what I just witnessed, you don’t mind being tickled that much do you?”

“Hush”

(Been sat in my notes for agessss)

[amyyythestarry]

CHAPTER 108 THOUGHTS!

God, I don’t even know where to start.

I like how Teru is also mesmerized by the Clock Keepers’ boundary, every character has been. Tsukasa, Nene, myself including.

Reminds me of that one time where Mitsuba tried to sneak away. It says ‘sneak’.

C’mon Aida, making everything look so cute. I didn’t notice this at first until someone mentioned it.

I don’t think you’re supposed to handle it like that Teru.

Getting right to the point though.

I hear a lot of people say ‘Terukane betrayal’ and I totally agree, I knew we were going to get one soon, it’s apart of every TBHK relationship. There has to be a betrayal!

But I don’t think we should hate Akane for this, I know the hate might pass, but still. He’s a Clock Keeper and the Clock Keepers are responsible for handling their business’s, like every other seven mystery. And I really don’t think Akane would have done this if he had an option, he did hesitate at first.

He hates supernatural after all.

I will always remember this moment, it’ll always be in the back of my head.

I don’t know why this was so special to me, but, seeing Tsu be vulnerable.. I don’t know.

I mean, when is the last time we’ve seen him like this? Probably never? If I were to recall, I couldn’t.

This chapter and most likely the next is going to be when we see a vulnerable Tsukasa instead of the usual op one.

It’s just something I’ve wanted to see for a while.

Nene, still being fantastical, still trying to follower her dreams. I gotta love it, we’ve gotta love Nene for trying to be a princess even when captured ( But she already is a princess in my book 🫶🏽 ).

I see too many people say that Tsukasa is also a helpless princess in this case, and I love it.

Even looks like Nene copied Tsu’s pose and labeled it ‘Captive Princess Pose’. 💀

The two helpless princesses.

Aw, I’m glad she’s happy he woke up.

Trying to get both of them out of the restraints.

Also I like how in the manga she’s always being compared to animals. Like that one time she ate a lot of cake in the arcade with Akane and her cheeks were puffy so she looked like a hampster.

He seems so bummed out. Wasn’t he in the last chapter?

I think Aidalro is trying to show us a mentally tired Tsu isn’t of the adrenaline junkie Tsu we always see. But I’m still loving it, because it’s something we don’t see often. Him being all broody and depressed, like Amane. They really are alike.

All you gotta do is run Tsukasa out of fun stimuli, and this is what you get. A bored, depressed, underestimated Tsukasa.

Oh my lord, someone plz help this boy…

He’s so lonely!!

His brother never came when he called for him, I assuming he’s referring to when he was ( possibly ) stuck in Hanako’s boundary, and whenever he called for Amane, he never came.

This broke my heart. And when I first read this, I read this in French class. I had to push all of my emotions back inside so I wouldn’t look like I was having a stroke. But this made me so sad.

Plz, I want to give Tsukasa the biggest hug he’s probably never received in a long time.

Also, ‘twin powers’. I’m such a Nene kinnie because I really believed twins had powers. Telepathy. Omg.

Referring to how he always has to do stuff on his own, how he probably got out of Hanako’s boundary with his own two hands.

He’s always so independent, doing things by himself.

So lonely too.

I love how this is something I didn’t catch while reading this in class.

Tsukasa let go of his hold on the breaking cage to catch Nene, who was about to fall, and then he ended up falling to.

Don’t ask me how I missed that, because at first I was confused on how he also fell. I think I was so busy trying to read everything before class ended.

But I realized his hands were also in restraints, so he had to completely let go of the cage and catch Nene with his arms.

I don’t understand how people could not love these two.

Realization hits him, he really let go of the cage, to save Nene. And now they were both falling.

Also, something that I saw someone else say is that the thing Tsu says, the three lines, is supposed to mean something with ‘three syllables’ being said, and Amane’s name has three syllables.

Oh my god.

AND HE ACTUALLY CAME!!!

But with the stankest attitude ever.

“What?” ( Insert nastiest attitude put into a voice ever )

Omg Hanako, relax a bit.

I absolutely love how he saves both of them!

Their hero!!

Oh my god, releasing Nene’s shackles but not Tsukasa’s? Be so for real Hanako.

Aw, he didn’t think you’d save him.

And then again with an attitude, you say ‘he was there, so’. C’mon. 💀

I still love them though, I love when they act a lot more like siblings. I do this to my little sister sometimes, it’s hilarious. But I feel like Tsukasa was asking him innocently, studying Hanako’s face to see what emotion he might be feeling, because he’s so obviously displaying he’s p1ssed.

Again, with the most innocent intentions in the world.

He’s just asking y’all, come down.

‘Yeet’, as he throws Nene over to Tsukasa, with the intentions of playing volleyball.

Someone said another person said they look like they’re playing volleyball. Omg.

Also I like that Hanako can trust Tsukasa enough to throw Nene over to him, even though he was mad.

Enemies to friends to lovers you guys, they’ll make it one day.

But god, he was out for blood.

PART TWO BECAUSE PHOTO LIMIT! 😭

[bugeyedfreaks]

Hi! Uhm...I wonder....About the lovely interests of Mojo Jojo and HIM. I mean...I know Mojo was in love with Mono Joko and it seems HIM loves Professor Utonium...but is that true? And they personally take this point clear to us, please?

I’ll answer your question about Him in particular but I’ll also use your ask as an opportunity for me to do a bit of a deep dive into Mojo and Him’s love lives, because……. why not? 😆

So we’ve definitely seen Mojo in love before/knows how he acts when he loves someone. He’s a romantic goofball and absolutely dotes on whoever he likes (which is freakin’ ADORABLE). And he absolutely only had eyes for Moko. You could make some sort of argument that it was for the bit and it was to parallel how the Beatles broke up IRL, but there’s also a whole comic written before that episode where we see Mojo sending in tapes to a dating agency ~for the ladies~. He then gets so desperate because the ladies are afraid of him that he ends up Frankensteining his own bride. So… take all that as you will when it comes to Mojo’s romantic preferences. 😆

Meanwhile, yes, Him definitely has shown, um, interest towards the Professor, which I think is hilarious and great. I think the biggest example of that is the big ol’ wet lick he drags across poor Professor’s cheek in Tough Love. However, did he do it just to antagonize the girls? Is it because he really does think the Prof is a hottie (like any sane person should)? We just don’t know. I feel like with Him being Him, you can see him going aaaaany which way romantically, but how he acts towards the Professor is, like, the only indication in the series of where his romantic interests may lie.

I know I mentioned my dislike of Mojo/Him earlier today, and I feel like I can’t not touch on it while on this subject, so I guess I’ll tack this on because I don’t think I ever explained why I don’t like it. As far as the whole ship between these two… I mean, I get why people ship them. Because, you know, ~they hugged~ that one time. 🙄 They’re both also evil, and people want those evil couple goals. So I get it. But to me, it feels uninspired and just… too obvious, I guess? No real thought behind it aside from surface level stuff like with PPG/RRB. CMC likes to claim Mojo has high respect for Him, and… yeah, Mojo called him “sir” for, uh, ONE EPISODE. Otherwise they’re rivals, often seen sniping at one another, calling each other stupid, maybe occasionally band together to try to defeat the PPGs, and in my perspective? I wouldn’t respect or even love anyone who was lazy enough to just outright steal my evil creations and recolor them (i.e. with the RRB).

That said, I feel like I have to always have a disclaimer whenever I talk about stuff like this, because there’s almost always one person who flips out and screams at me about how, “I can ship what I want!” Yes. I know. You absolutely can. Personally, per my reasoning above, I just don’t vibe with it. But, as evidenced by many things, fandom is an unstoppable force, and I’m not out to stop anything anyway. I just do not dig the thing.

…so, yeah, sorry I went off on a bit of a tangent, but I hope this answered your question! 🤣

[sundove88]

Reunited- A Cookie Run Kingdom Oneshot

Synopsis: Dark Choco finally decides to return to the Dark Cacao Kingdom, but what he finds there is most unexpected…

Based on This Art By Me

ChocoPearl Cookie belongs to me.

As the light of the morning sun shone upon the black citadel of the Dark Cacao Kingdom, the King and his wife couldn't help but feel a bit of sadness in what was usually a time for everyone to start getting ready. The reason why is that they had not seen their son, Dark Choco Cookie, for years, and the last time they met him, he nearly endangered the kingdom. Needless to say, ChocoPearl Cookie, the queen consort, was still distraught by what her husband Dark Cacao Cookie had done to their only son- even if he had been possessed.

"Do you still wish for our little boy's return?" She questioned her husband as she walked out onto the balcony and brushed the snow off of a nearby cherry tree, her purple hanbok glimmering in the morning light.

"Somewhat... How I wish I understood him better. How we would often enjoy the times we sparred together... And how we would get caught up in the many stories and folktales about our kingdom." Dark Cacao said as he made his way towards his wife, the Grapejam Chocoblade sitting near his throne. "I miss those times, too. If only he was here to share them with us..." ChocoPearl said and let out a sigh. But just as those words escaped her mouth, Crunchy Chip Cookie ran over.

"Your majesties. Someone's at the gates!" he replied frantically. The King and Queen ran over to see that Crunchy Chip was indeed right- there was someone at the gates. Needless to say, they opened up right away, and the stranger walked in. "I think that he looked like a certain someone you two may know." Crunchy Chip replied.

Not too long after, the royal couple hurried to greet the cloaked stranger. Taking off his hood- he revealed that the stranger was indeed their son- who had changed by a lot. Dark Cacao and his wife gasped. Was this really their son?! “Father… the last time I was here, I slashed you across the chest, ran away at your will, returned with the Cookies of Darkness, destroyed the wall, abandoned my former allies… and I have now been wandering Earthbread to try and atone for what I’ve done. If that makes me unworthy of being your son, I don’t know what will.” Dark Choco confessed to his parents, his head hanging down in shame as he thought of a public execution awaiting him moments later.

But however, instead of angry expressions, his parents eyes filled with tears. Dark Cacao slowly got up and wiped away his tears, with his wife following behind him. “We’ve missed you, son. Your mother and I have longed for the day you’d be with us once again… and here we are.” He said as he and his wife embraced their son. “Just know that we always love you no matter what.” ChocoPearl said as she wrapped her arms around her adult son.

Dark Choco, flabbergasted by what his parents did, reluctantly returned the hug, tears forming in his own eyes. "You have proved that you are more than worthy of being our son..." Dark Cacao began. "...and that we couldn't ever ask for an even greater honor." ChocoPearl finished. Dark Choco gave a genuine smile as he slowly succumbed to the unconditional love of his parents. He had finally shown he was worthy of being the hero he had always wanted to be, and he wouldn't want it any other way.

The End

[shatterthefragments]

Saw a positive post and it’s in my likes/drafts (I use my likes as a secondary drafts when I have too many drafts and it’s overwhelming) but uh whining below bc it’s. Uh. Yeah. Giving me major Feelings about an old friend.

All we ever did was hold onto our history without regard for if we should have a future. (I wonder if her maybe attempt to message me again over a year ago was to invite me to her wedding? She never got to it if she did mean to. Maybe she just realized we weren’t that close anymore with our little catch up) (as soon as you unfollow me I am unfollowing you too but I can’t just burn every bridge with my hometown while I still live in it)

No. I am not letting you back in my life.

All you ever caused me was grief. All you gave me was more stress.

And all we did was hold onto the fact that we went to preschool together. How cool is it that we’ve been friends our whole lives?!

And then we went to school together after a while separated and it was awesome to reconnect.

And then we fell apart but we caught up again when we bused home sometimes

(I would sometimes book it to the bus stop to catch an earlier bus if I didn’t have socialization in me at the time)

And in high school i just felt. So used. Once I had my license and all I already felt like a chauffeur to my family but then I also felt like one to you.

And I KNOW especially back then it was so much easier for me to visit you then you to visit me. (I NEED SOMETHING BACK I NEED JUST A SMIDGEN OF RECIPROCITY I JUST. I need a hug)

But then in college too.

And you ask me to do something for you.

And I do it.

And I really had a bad experience and. I. *screams*

I had just stopped thinking about it.

I serve. I serve others.

But fuck why does it always end up so negatively for me 😭. (Collecting bad experiences like they’re Pokémon)

And then we continued to sometimes see each other on the bus home but not that often.

And now you’re graduated and married and

You still follow my sister and I and a bunch of our other classmates.

I can’t burn it all down while I still live here

I can just. Avoid.

And with every card I make and every gift I send mum questions if anyone ever does the same to me as if I’m not an exact copy of her and wanting to make the people I love happy (which I have other feelings about) (but in several of my relationships it’s worth it. I sometimes even feel treasured)

I don’t love you.

(I dont even miss you)

And then ghosting me for so long when we were going to go on a trip together. We had a great time without you btw.

And everyone agrees that you owe me an apology over that.

And I will almost certainly never get one.

(The positions you put me in. I’m fine. But I don’t appreciate it at all)

I don’t miss you.

I only miss my peace of mind that if say. The day before we leave or the day we leave I feel fairly sure I’m actually going to see my friend(s). Things come up. Just message.

[thedeathlysallows]

memento mori

Chapter 1: Poison Ivy

Months Earlier

           “We’re sending you to Washington state. We’ve had reports of a newborn army in Seattle and the Volturi have done nothing but twiddle their thumbs. Find newborns. Eliminate the source. Report back immediately. Questions?”

           “No.”

           “Good. Oh, and Agent? Whatever you find, don’t let personal feelings get in the way of finishing the job.”

           Titania had said it with a knowing look in her eye that I couldn’t quite place during the debriefing, but as I get closer and closer to Forks there’s the dawning of realization. There are vampires here. I can feel them. The air is thick with their presence.

           My father’s house reeks of them.

           “I really wish you were staying with us, kiddo.” Dad hugs me tight after I walk through the front door and ushers me to the living room. I look him over for any subtle differences, but find none. He’s the same. Untouched by whatever darkness is lurking around.

           Good.

           At least Charlie Swan is safe.

           However, that leaves the question: why does this house smell like vampires have been living here for years?

           “Yeah, well, you know how it is. I like having my own space.” I make my tone apologetic, but in reality I’m relieved I won’t be staying with my dad. Technically, I shouldn���t even be in Forks. My mission is in Seattle. Titania will look the other way, though. She always does as long as I get the job done.

           I don’t love the idea of a double life and I especially hate that I have so many secrets from my dad. He was always my rock. My safe place. Mom was never stable enough to take care of me, and I really have no clue how the court gave her full custody of Bella aside from complete bias. I was old enough to make my own choices, and I chose dad.

           He looks at me with a fondness in his eyes that makes my heart ache.

           “I really wish I could stay, Dad, but I just…”

           He puts a hand up and shrugs. “I get it. Don’t want your old man cramping your style. I was young once. I was hip.”

           I laugh and walk to the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge. Dad eyes me with a frown. “What? I’m twenty three. You wanna check my ID officer?”

           “Nah… maybe… did you ever use a fake?”

           “No,” I lie. Another truth I can never tell. It was far more than just fake IDs and underage drinking, but I’ll die before I tell my dad. “So… Bella? How’s that going?”

           He told me a while back about my younger sister’s odd, troublemaker boyfriend, but I always felt he was holding something back. I often left those conversations with something tickling at the back of my mind; however, I never pursued it. Now, I regret it. Hopefully there’s time to make up for it.

           Dad grumbles, expression growing stormy. “Had to let him back in the house.”

           Judging from my intuition and the smell in the air, he never left in the first place. Out loud I say, “ouch, old man. You let your teenage daughter strong arm you like that?”

           “She threatened to go back to Renee if I didn’t.”

           “Oh.”

           I shouldn’t be surprised by that at all. Bella’s notorious for using the mom threat, after all. She’s done it since we were kids. Part of me always wished she would grow out of it, though. Clearly that will never happen. It’s sad. Our dad doesn’t deserve that. All he’s ever wanted from either of us is the tiniest bit of love.

           Hence why hiding everything from him hurts so much.

           Being self-aware really sucks sometimes.

           “Do you think you could talk to her,” Dad asks after the silence stretches on for too long and I’m picking at the PBR label to stop from picking at my nails from nerves.

           “Mmm, Dad, I don’t know if that’s a good idea. You know Bells and I have always fought like cats and dogs.”

           “Right. I was just hoping I guess.” He visibly deflates.

           Fuck.

           “Okay, I’ll try. Just don’t do,” I gesture to his current posture that’s reminiscent of a kicked dog, “that. Where is she any-”

           Before I even finish my question, the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and the air shifts dangerously. My eyes dart to the doorway of the kitchen where Bella stands with one of them. He’s one of the golden eyes, weakened by consuming animal blood, but dangerous all the same. And my sister is holding his hand like it’s the most casual thing in the world.

           I didn’t hear the two of them come in. I didn’t sense him in time. This is why I can’t stay in Forks with Charlie. I’m weak around them. My love for them makes me weak. I can’t afford to be weak.

           “Hi,” I finally say after I calm the pounding in my ears and tame the instinct to attack, kill.

           Bella looks visibly flustered, like my sudden appearance is too much for her. Maybe it is. I mean, last time we talked I was lecturing her about being an irresponsible idiot. She has every right to still be annoyed by that I guess.

           Dad is the one to break the ice. “Rosie, meet Edward Cullen. Bella’s boyfriend.”

           Fuck.

           My mind races. Does he have a connection to what’s happening in Seattle? How often is he over here? How often is he alone with Bella? Does Bella know? Are there more? Oh, God, are there more? How many more? Where do they live? Are they all golden eyes like him?

           Edward nods his head almost imperceptibly, his eyes locked onto mine.

           A mind reader then. That’s fine. Nothing special. I’ve handled his kind before.

           “You’re back home?” Bella breaks my staring contest with her boyfriend. She’s not happy and it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. Her tone is sharp and her body language is tense.

           “Oh, relax,” I tell her. There’s a bite to my words as well. “I’ve got work in Seattle so I’m here visiting. I’ll be hanging out more often, though.”

           If Edward has two brain cells to rub together he can tell what I am. If Edward is smart he can hear the threat in my words.

           “Seattle? You aren’t staying there are you?” There’s a new emotion in Bella’s voice. Panic.

           I nod. “I am, but don’t worry. I’ll stay away from the serial killer.”

           “We don’t know it’s a serial killer yet,” Charlie adds in.

           “Right, but that’s what I’m here to figure out.” I take a sip of my beer. “The organization I work for heard about all the murders and they sent me to investigate. I’m hoping I can get to the bottom of it quickly and head back to Charleston before the month is up.”

           Edward quirks an eyebrow, an amused expression on his face. “That quickly?”

           I hate his voice instantly. It’s the same lilting, musical cadence all the bloodsuckers have.

           “Mhmm. I’m very good at my job,” I assure him.

           “Well in that case you have my thanks for keeping all of us safe.”

           I narrow my eyes at him. What a smug little bastard. I don’t like him. In fact, I think I would hate him even if he was just some human boy. Speaking of…

           “How’s Jacob?” I ask Charlie the question, but Edward is the one who answers.

           “Bella doesn’t see him much anymore.”

           Smug and controlling, then.

           Good job picking one of the worst, little sis.

           I’m suddenly desperate and itching to start my investigation, so I check my watch and sigh dramatically. “Wow, look at the time! I should get going so I can check into my hotel on time. Gotta start work bright and early tomorrow. I’ll be back though.”

           “Any leads,” Edward asks.

           “Yeah. I think so. See you tomorrow.”

           I give Charlie a kiss on the cheek and Bella a wave. I can feel Edward’s eyes on me all the way to the front door. It won’t be hard to find out where he lives, and if he has any sense at all, he’ll warn the others that death is coming.

           My drive to Seattle is far less eventful than my visit back home. The three hour trip gives me time to ponder and stew over Bella’s involvement with vampires. She’s not a stupid girl, I finally decide after a while. She just thinks she knows better than everyone else and will overlook danger like it’s nothing.

           Suddenly, this job feels a lot more daunting.

           The Society set me up at the Four Seasons Hotel right in downtown Seattle. It’s a corner suite with a view of the bay that makes my heart squeeze tightly in my chest. I miss Charleston already. Sure, I didn’t grow up in the coastal southern town, but it’s where The Society conducts most of their business. Their seat of power, if you will. It’s also where I did my first year of college. The parties were always ridiculously fun.

           I toss my bag on the bed and plop down on the couch by the window. It gives me a perfect view of the warehouse the Agent before me tracked the newborns to. He’s been MIA for a week now, and at this point it’s safe to assume the worst has happened. As I stare out the window I feel a strange flutter in my chest. There’s something staring back.

[christianbelievers]

FREED FROM DESTRUCTION

As I was going over some notes that I took this week, I came across one that didn’t have a Scripture reference scribbled next to it. I must have written it down during my time of prayer. It simply said, “Thank you Lord for not letting me fall into destruction.”

It’s been an unusual time for me lately, spiritually speaking. It’s been unusual because I’ve been getting glimpses of who I used to be, the me that I would rather forget about. As I lay in bed at night, struggling to fall asleep, I’m often bombarded with random thoughts. I spoke about this briefly in a previous writing, about times when I might be thinking about something as simple as blueberry muffins, when all of a sudden there it is, some kind of obscure thought, picture, or whatever runs across the front of my brain. As quickly as I can, I turn the channel in my head to something more pleasant, like what I had been reading from the Bible earlier.

“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2nd Corinthians 10:3-5)

Because some of these “glimpses” can be traced back to my past, I sought the Lord, asking Him to help me bury those things for good. But there was actually something good that came out of praying about these memories, or whatever you want to call them. They reminded me of just how much I truly needed God. When I see the person that I used to be, I can truly say that I hate that person.

“Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” (John 12:25)

I always thought that I was a pretty decent guy, someone that would never hurt a fly. But when those glimpses started coming up, I began to see little bits and pieces of a broken man. That man had taken in a lot of junk over the years, physically, visually, and emotionally.

I’m not sure why these glimpses have come to me. My first instinct is to blame the devil. But could it also be from my flesh that had been corrupted so badly, and from such an early age? The world too, has done its damage to me and many others. It’s amazing that anyone can live in this world and not be corrupted in their minds somehow. Just a few hours of watching television will prove my point.

The devil, the world, and the flesh are our three biggest enemies as Christians. The devil will often find ways to remind us of our past, wanting us to feel condemned. The world is so full of temptation to sin in one way or another, that avoiding it all together seems like the best course of action…if only that were possible. And the flesh, that set of skin that we’ve been wearing for a long time. It often desires things which are totally contrary to what God wants us to have.

“Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.” (Romans 8:12-14)

Most of us are doing the best we can to walk as “the children of God”. And because His grace is so good, and so powerful, we don’t have to worry about the devils attempts to shame us. When I led a Bible study at the Rescue Mission, I often saw men come in week after week saying “I slipped up this week.” Some of these men had been born again, and it grieved them terribly to feel like they had let God down. All I could do was hug them and remind them that Jesus already died for their sins. But I would also remind them of one of the most important things that the Apostle Paul ever said…

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.

For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1-4)

Jesus went to that cross… “in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us.”

I guess you could say that the glimpses that I, and perhaps some of you have had, should cause us to once again kneel at the cross, and seek Jesus’ words, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34)

When I look back at all that happened to me, and all that I did, I can only look to God and say “Thank you Lord for not letting me fall into destruction.”

He saw me hurting and lonely. He saw me confused and unsure of which way to go. He saw where the evil of this world was taking me, and how it was trying to destroy me. But then finally I cried out “Please God, help me”.

If you are needing help, ask Jesus to save you from destruction. Ask Him to take away the pain and the hurt of this world. Ask Him to give you a new life, one that is overflowing with hope and joy. Your hope and joy are exactly why God sent his Son Jesus into the world.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.” (John 3:16-18)

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." 

He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" (Revelation 21:4-5)

When I asked Jesus to be my Savior, he removed my pain, and replaced it with His peace. I knew then that He really did love me, and that He really did die for me, so that my old life could be washed away, and the new one could begin its journey into eternity.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2nd Corinthians 5:17)

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7)

God Bless!

[morethanwords0475]

January TC Challenge

Day 1: Happy New Year! Any hopes for the new year? (TC or non TC related?)

I hope C and I will continue to keep in touch like we have done until now and that I get to see him more than once or twice this year 💀

Day 2: Do you have any nicknames/codenames that you call your TC? Do they have any they call you?

I call him C on here and he calls my normal name, which always makes me a little sad because he really likes giving people nicknames and even once said he’d think of one for me but never did, and he never once used my common nickname which many people do (even Incas Lily does).

Day 3: Describe the moment you knew they were more than just another teacher.

To be honest even on the first day we met him as the head of our programme, I suspected that he would become an important figure to me, just not to the extent that he ended up being. A week before we had our first 'talk', I was feeling particularly bad while at school and suddenly had an all-consuming urge to be hugged and held by either him or Incas Lily. I was near his office then and intentionally walked past it just to look at him. I didn't know why he suddenly carried so much emotional significance to me, but I just really wanted to talk to him – it's a little surreal that, just a week later, it happened.

Day 4: Do they decorate their classroom much? What does it look like?

He doesn’t have a classroom, but he decorates his office a little bit. Nothing too extra.

Day 5: What's the age gap? Did you ever think you would fall for someone that much older? Are you comfortable with the age gap?

14 years, which is fine, and it really feels like less. He once told me that he had always just talked to me like another adult, which was really, really nice.

Day 6: Describe the first time you saw/met them. How did you meet? What was it like? Were you automatically attracted or did it take some time?

I met him on the first day of school last year, he was new to our school and coming in as the head of our programme. He left a very good first impression with us; even though he’s not physically 'my type', I liked his energy and how reliable he seemed and the way he interacted with us.

Day 7: Do you plan on keeping contact with your TC after graduation? How do you plan on doing it? If you're graduated, have you kept in contact? How have you managed that?

I have graduated and kept in contact! We email back and forth once every two months or so now, and he is the only TC whom I actually feel good about keeping in touch with (i.e. he doesn’t make me hate myself every time I reach out, unlike with Incas Lily). He had casually alluded to us keeping in touch for a long time into the future, and I really hope he meant it.

Day 8: Is there something that tends to remind you of them? Like a sport, food, animal, etc…?

The main sports he plays always remind me of him, the niche shared interest that we have always remind me of him, and things to do with education also do because we’ve talked about it a lot.

Day 9: Do you have a memory you are particularly fond of with your TC? Any cute stories?

I have soooo many good memories with him I literally can’t choose. The three-hour talk we had the last time I saw him was easily one of the best. A more random cute interaction was when we walked up three flights of stairs together after one of our meetings, and we were just casually talking about food on our way, laughing and all; I loved walking together with him and loved the little conversation.

Day 10: Have you ever touched your TC? Like a hug or a brush of the hand?

Yesss we’ve never accidentally touched but we have shaken hands three times and hugged twice. 

Day 11: How often do you talk to them? Do you talk to them outside of school?

Almost every school day from the middle of March to when we graduated, and now we email every one or two months. I’ve never seen him outside of school (except during our grad dinner ofc) but I guess our emails now are technically talking outside of school?

Day 12: Have you ever had any previous TC's? What were they like?

As this blog has documented, I have had many other TCs, but C is one of the only who had never taught me, and we got to have the closest relationship. 

Day 13: If it were to happen, how do you imagine the perfect kiss going down with your TC? If by chance you have kissed your TC, how did it happen?

I don’t have strong romantic feelings for him and I adore his wife, so I probably wouldn’t want to kiss him. If it did happen, though, I would imagine it to have been at the end of one of our long talks. We’re both stood up after having casual and heartfelt conversations for an hour, and I’m awkwardly trying to thank him like usual, expressing how much everything he has done means to me. Maybe we’d fall into a short silence, and one of us would lean in to the other for a kiss, his hand gently on my waist to steady me, as natural and tender as a couple kissing goodbye.

Day 14: Do you truly believe there is a chance that they're interested in you? Has anyone else pointed out that maybe you're special to your TC?

I am special to C. I know it, and he has said things to that effect. He’s definitely not interested romantically, which I’m perfectly fine with.

Day 15: Have you ever gotten them a gift? If so, what was it?

I've gotten C so many gifts, mostly small snacks (and mostly chocolate) because he said he really likes food. At the end of the school year, I also gave him some things related to the niche interest that the two of us share, and he seemed really happy.

Day 16: If you're in their class, what are your grades like?

He doesn’t teach us, which is probably for the best since I’m pretty bad at it. 

Day 17: If you had to pick one feature about them, physical or personality, what would be your favorite?

There is genuinely so much to love about C. The thing that first made him stand out to me was how much interest he showed all of us – he wanted to listen to our feedback, he wanted to know more about our lives, he wanted to share in our achievements and give us support where we needed it. I’m always drawn to teachers who seem like they really care.

Day 18: Do you know of anything they do outside of work? What do they enjoy doing in their free time?

He plays sports, walks his dog, listens to podcasts, spends time with friends, and I think he mentioned he occasionally games. Like, a person with a well-balanced life with hobbies and is happy and healthy??

Day 19: What goes on for you when you see them? How does your body react?

I didn’t tend to be nervous when I saw him (which was a good thing), it usually made me feel excited or comforted to see him. Sometimes I did struggle a little with our dynamic and my body would literally tense up when seeing him, but it didn’t happen often.

Day 20: What have you done, or what would you do, to spend more time with them? Join a club/sport they're in charge of? Sign up for an extra class they teach?

He doesn’t have the time to run clubs (and I suck too much at the sports he does anyways), but I did do stuff like sitting in on one of his workshops with a lower year group when he invited us.

Day 21: How often do you dream about them? What do the dreams usually consist of?

Maybe not as often as I would expect with TCs, but I remember dreams about him quite well. Before I left school it was usually some kind of twist on normal interactions, now I sometimes dream of being back home and seeing him again or being in the past. I dreamed that we were in a relationship two nights in a row a few weeks ago.

Day 22: What's a little detail you've noticed about them that you aren't even sure they're aware of? Do they run their hand through their hair often? Do they subconsciously bite their lip?

I don’t get to observe C as much as listening to him talk about himself, so I’m not sure about what he’s not aware of. I did find it cute that whenever he was trying to exaggerate with a number to make a point or just be funny, he often chose the same specific number.

Day 23: If they weren't a teacher, what do you think they should be?

Probably an athlete, but I think his goodness would be wasted in a professional sport environment – the same way it would for T and S, who are also both great at sport but are also both so much more than that. 

Day 24: Do you think other people in your school may have feelings towards them too? Why?

On one hand I can’t imagine other students having romantic feelings towards him (even I, who have been attracted to no less than ten teachers over seven years, didn’t have much romantic feelings), but he’s just such an objectively good person. The absolute joy in his being, how reliable he is, his compassion, how he always listens and initiates conversations… It’s so hard not to love him.

Day 25: What are their classes like? Do they talk a lot? Is it mostly independent work? Are there a lot of notes?

I’ve never been in his class, and he doesn’t really teach a content-based subject.

Day 26: How would you describe their personality?

He's very extroverted, conscientious, logical, and organised. He really values building connections with people and can be a bit of a people pleaser (like me). He's really reliable and always finds solutions.

Day 27: What's the weirdest thing they've ever worn?

This is so specific- it was like a kilt, but a bad one, so it looked more like a picnic blanket draped around him, which was really funny.

Day 28: What's something you don't quite fancy about them? A quirk you find odd? A physical trait that you aren't a fan of?

This is just something that messed with my head a lot back when I was still quite unsure of our dynamic – when he greets students in the corridors, especially me, he almost never uses our names. Like, he definitely knows our names, but when other teachers usually say things like "hi [J]", he only says hello or morning, and it used to sound dismissive to me, as if he didn’t actually see me.

Day 29: How long have you had a crush on them?

Crush is probably not accurate, but I’ve had feelings™️ for almost a year now.

Day 30: Write a poem (short or long) about your TC.

I lost my ability to write poetry after T left :( I like to think that it died with him.

Day 31: Do you have anyone in your life who knows about your TC? Anyone you can talk to?

My closest friends know I was having those talks with C and that I have feelings, but probably not just how attached I am. For some reason, I think they feel a little more weird about my attachment to C than they did my crush on T and Incas Lily.

[chiakinanami82]

Ask my Sides #1: Hello Charlotte

Saige: Good morning, world!

Athena: It’s six o’clock. Why do you have to be so loud?

Saige: I’m just excited, that’s all.

Rebecca: Pray tell, what is this about?

Saige: Well, it’s mail time! I wonder what questions our anonymous friend has for us? *She opens the fleshy envelope dotted with blinking eyes.* Ah, here we are. The Puppeteer asks “Who is your favorite character from Hello Charlotte?” Sophia: *yawn* Who’s making this racket? Some of us are trying to sleep.

Athena: I always took you as a morning person.

Sophia: I am, just not today. Our host stayed up… again.

Saige: Sorry about that, guys. I’ll tone it down just for you.

Sophia: Thank god. Also, speaking of god, my favorite character is Charles/Vincent. He’s such a good example of the error of idolizing someone you’ve never met. Idolatry never ends well for anyone, as nobody is perfect, as seen with Vincent and his suicidal disposition. Also, his work often has the protagonist being alone in the world or meeting their exact copy, which gives us a look into his outlook on life.

Athena: Yeah, Vincent’s cool, I suppose. My personal favorite is Felix. He’s a tsundere scientist who cares for everyone in the House, and he’s usually the voice of reason. The clone thing is surprising, and he genuinely cares for people, especially Charlotte.

Rebecca: Felix has an adorable design, but my favorite’s always been Bennett. He’s such a bundle of energy and hyperness, and then you learn about his backstory, and you want to hug him so much. His design is also really cool.

Saige: Bennett’s awesome! Though, it takes until Part 2 to see him without his hazmat suit’s mask. Personally, my favorite’s Charlotte. She’s an adorable, sweet girl who deserves the world and doesn’t deserve to suffer.

Athena: I’m guessing you’re talking about the original Charlotte.

Saige: Yep.

Sachiko: Otherwise, it would’ve been 084 Charlotte, who’s a bloody murderer and my favorite character! Hahahaha!

Athena: I’m not surprised.

Vanessa: What’s this cacophony?

Saige: Oh, sorry, were you trying to sleep?

Vanessa: Not particularly. By the way, what are you discussing?

Rebecca: Hello Charlotte!

Vanessa: Oooooh, how fun. Well, my personal favorite is Henrietta/Anri. Sure, she seems like a bitch at first, but when you learn that she’s based on Charles’ best friend, you learn how he sees her versus her true feelings towards him. It’s a true tragedy indeed.

Rebecca: Yes, and I know that you just love tragedies!

Vanessa: I mean, you should enjoy tragic tales as well, considering your occupation and dreams.

*Rebecca growls. Athena steps between them.* Athena: Guys, chill. We’re here to have fun, not to fight. Rebecca: Fine.

Athena: Anyways, who’s left?

Ari: Luna and I. By the way, hey.

Sophia: Morning, dude.

Rebecca (under her breath): Tryhard.

Ari: My favorite character’s the Oracle. They’re a mysterious god-like being whose backstory and world-building is intriguing. Plus, I like how they change from Episode One, from a benign, gentle person to a manipulative, cynical character. Also, their design is peak.

Athena: Frei’s cool.

Luna: Indeed, darlings. My favorite’s V19, as she is the bustiest babe around. I mean, her bra size is supposedly an E. She’s not too interesting as a character herself, but sometimes you just need something to entice you.

Saige: Ew. I would rather have a visually unappealing character who’s deep and interesting rather than a blank slate body pillow.

Sophia: I think most sane, non-addicted people share your opinion, Saige, especially nowadays. I mean, just look at LoL characters. Usually, the community likes the more unique ones, like Jinx and Illaoi, and the more forgettable ones are those like Irelia and Karma.

Rebecca: I totally agree with that as a creator. We’ve seen way too many stereotypically pretty ladies in media, and I think it’s time for more variety.

Luna: Jesus, I was just giving my opinion, and y’all attacked me out of nowhere. Fine. If my opinion isn’t wanted, then so be it.

*Their conversation fades into the background.* Athena: I lost track of the convo. How the hell did we get from Hello Charlotte to League of Legends?

Ari: It’s entertaining though, right?

Athena: Eh, not really. I’m gonna go watch Gregory Horror Show for the tenth time.

*Ari now has a bucket of popcorn.*

Ari: Bye. I’ll be enjoying these guys for a while.

*The faded conversation comes back into focus.* Sophia: Saige technically started this whole thing.

Luna: Saige, darling, let’s talk about this…

Saige: How heckin’ dare you accuse me of this! It wasn’t my fault! Plus, you wanted my opinion, didn’t you?!

Rebecca: You are the one who made the comment in the first place.

Saige: You agreed with me though! Are you turning against me…

Vanessa: And you said that I’m the snake in this group.

Rebecca: Shut up, Vanessa.

Vanessa: Did I… strike a nerve?

Saige: I’m sick of this. That’s it! I’m leaving!

Ari: Awww, that’s it? I was hoping for a fistfight or something…

Luna: I… I don’t know what to do, Sophia…

Sophia: Emotions are complicated, but I’m sure you’ll figure something out. After all, you and Saige are related.

Luna: Thanks, sweetheart. How about we have some fun?

Sophia: Sorry, but I’ve got to go organize my bookshelves for the tenth time.

Luna: Oh. Well, that’s all right, darling. You go do that now.

*The others leave in silence.*

[suckitsurveys]

What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for? There’s a lot of stuff I don’t really mind paying full price for, but I always look for deals when I can. Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yes. I was decently scared. Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious? No. Do you own any clothes you wouldn’t wear in front of your mother? No. Does anyone know every little detail about you? Yes.

Has anyone told you a secret lately that you aren’t allowed to tell anyone? Yeah. Where were you when you got your first period? I was at home. I woke up with it. Can you change a car tire? Yeah. Are you more attracted to men or women? Yes. Do you continue fighting in an argument even though you’re wrong? No. Where was the last house you went besides your house? The grocery store. Have you ever played paintball? Did you get hit? No. Right now, are you too hot, too cold or just right? I’m okay. Do you ever use a laptop in bed? Very rarely. Are your parents still together? If not, do you know why? My dad is widowed. Have you ever been evicted? Why? No. Have you ever worked as a manager or supervisor? No. What was the last thing you voted for? The Illinois primaries last week. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed awake? Why did you do it? Almost 3 days because I was an idiot teenager. Have you ever received a parking fine? Yes. Are you in any group chats? Who’s in them? There’s one for work, one with me and my sister and her husband, one with me and my sister and my dad, and one with my neighbors in the apartments above us. Do you have a lisp? No. Do you have an Instagram account? Do you use it often? Yes and yes. Have you ever broken up with someone for someone else? Not really. How many windows are open on your computer? Just one, but with 10 tabs lol. Have you ever taken a shower with anyone before? Yes. What’s your most memorable story from a power outage? I don’t really have one. I remember going to my grandmas as a kid when the power would go out in our house.  Is torture ever acceptable? If you’re into it ;) Would you ever date someone who had an STD, if they were honest and safe? I mean, if this applied to me (I am married and not going to “date” anyone), I would be cautious about it. And I think it would depend on the STD, too. Have you ever kissed under mistletoe? Yes. Are you still with the person you fell hardest for? If not, do you still care for each other? Yes, I am still with him. Think of the person you fell hardest for. How many people has he/she been in love with, besides you? I know at least one other person he’s been in love with. Maybe two.  Find 5 people on your Facebook friends list, whose name begins with K. Who are these people, and how did you meet them? Kathy: my mother-in-law Kelly: my cousin Kristina: my sister’s sister-in-law Kirby: another cousin Katelyn: Mark’s old neighbor. Do you think you are pregnant? Nope. Do you think hugs are awkward? Nah. What is your favorite band of all time? Vampire Weekend. Do your siblings dye their hair? I know she gets highlights. Have you ever read someone’s journal? Yes, but with permission. If your significant other proposed to you right here, right now, would you accept? I mean, we are already married... Do you think you’ve found the one you want to marry yet? ^ Did the last song you listened to hold any special meaning? Nah.  How easy would it be to get over the person you currently like/love? ETREMELY hard, dude. We’ve been together 11+ years.  Have you ever been so quiet that nobody noticed that you were there? Maybe. When will you see your best friend next? I can see one right now, I am seeing one on Thanksgiving, probably seeing one in January or February, and then seeing another in March. What book are you reading, currently? I’m not. Whose bed were you on last? My own. What is your favorite neon color? Ever buy nail polish that color? Blue, and probably. Has anyone ever gotten in your face completely bitching you out? Yeah. Have you ever gone hunting before? Do you think it’s wrong? I have never and will never. I think it’s wrong to do it purely for sport. How many iPods or mp3 players have you had in your entire life? I had maybe 3 iPods. Who was the last person to call you beautiful? What was your reaction? Mark. I smiled. Do you like watching old home videos of yourself? I wish there were some.  Do you ever get paranoid about who your significant other hangs out with? No. Have you ever visited someone in a psychiatric home or ward? No. Can you handle movies involving lots of bugs and insects? Yes. What was the first illegal thing that you did? Did you get caught? Probably pirating music, and no. Sex, menstruation, or puberty - which is the most uncomfortable subject? Depends on the context and the people. When you picture flowers in your head, what color are they? I don’t really picture one color. Have you ever received a hickey from the last person you kissed? Yes, a long time ago. We don’t do that anymore. Would you get back with your last ex if you could? Nope. Is it easy for you to accept loss? Depends. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, how long have you guys been together? 11 years together, 5 married. Who was the last person you caught lying to you? My niece. Honestly, how many people do you have feelings for? One. Honestly, do you believe in yourself? Sure. Ever gotten in trouble for public displays of affection? No. Have you ever been drunk or high? Yes. Have you ever chatted with someone on webcam? Yup, plenty of times. Mark and I used to do that a lot when we were long distance.  What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked? I don’t know. Have you ever had to be put to sleep at a hospital? Why? No. What if a friend asked you to go with her to get an abortion? I would go with her, of course. Have your parents ever smoked pot? Oh yes. I’ve taken edibles with my dad before lol. Ever made yourself throw up? Yes. Have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life? It’s possible. Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theater? No. Are you addicted to technology? Yeah. Any fond memories of your first sleepover? I don’t remember my first sleepover. Have you ever led the prayer at dinnertime? If not, do you want to? Nope and nope. Do you believe in the army, it’s disgraceful to improperly salute? I literally do not care. Do you keep notes, drawings, or letters that people give you? Yes. Have you had a bf/gf that you never kissed? Yeah, as kid, lol. Has anybody criticized the way your significant other looked? No. Who in your life is your number one priority to make sure they’re happy? My husand and my nieces. What was the last strong scent you smelled? A pine scented candle. How did you discover your favorite band? Tumblr, lol. When was the last time you performed in front of a group of people? In high school, almost 20 years ago. The last person you kissed treat you right? Yes. Are you afraid of clowns? No, they’ve never gotten to me. What are you listening to at this moment in time? Mark has this low fi video game music playing, and we also have a fake fireplace going on the TV. If you were pregnant, how long would you wait to write something about it on Facebook? Way to assume I’d fucking keep it. It would be yeeted the second I found out, my dude.  What’s your favorite kind of lip piercing? (monroe, labret, snakebites, etc.) None.

[elijahfalvey]

Rhiannon’s smile was ear-to-ear as Rory pressed the small sticker to her forehead, and Elijah tried not to think about the struggle it would become later when she inevitably didn’t let him peel it off at bath time and instead tried to focus on how happy it made her in the moment. It’d been difficult, lately, seeing the bigger picture — his bubbling problems with Nilay seemed to have well and truly bled into just about every area of his life by this point, despite how badly he wanted to keep them away from the girls especially — but he supposed, in part, that was why he was still here. Keeping routine, even if it was hard. It was one of the things often mentioned in group, and well . . . what if it was the only one that stuck?

“Say thank you,” Elijah urged quietly, to which Rhia enthusiastically replied with a lispy and incomplete, “Thank you!”

He ultimately decided not to question the whole zombies thing — being around Hattie for so many years definitely taught him that kids, as they got older, took interest in some very specific topics, hers most recently being badminton — and instead gave a little wave as she emerged from the back, chuckling at the fact that was the only acknowledgement he received. 

“Sort of. Not exactly. We’ve just been a bit . . . scrambled, lately, I suppose,” he answered while the kids occupied themselves with a hug, veiling the truth with a less abrasive adjective, “She’s been working a lot. I’m sure the ones in her office died by now, so I figured it’d be nice to do something a bit,” he waved his hands as he thought, “More. And Annie’s never done me wrong, obviously.” 

Her enthusiasm tugged at his heart a little, a smile breaking through his features. As she happily took on the challenge, he elaborated, “Right, well, I think the last time I was here, I got — oh, what were they called? Pansies? The purple ones where it’s a bit dark in the middle?” You would think with how often he was here, he’d get better at recognizing names; he gave up hope for that awhile ago. “I think I want to do a yellow flower this time. Or maybe, like, a bunch of warmer colors? Switch it up a bit. What do you think about that?”

Rhia’s screech is, by now, one of Rory’s favorite greetings — it reminds him of when Annie was her age, excited by the sight of just about anything and anyone familiar. To be someone who elicits such a response in such a young child is, of course, a privilege, something Rory had to explain to Elijah countless of times until he quit with his apologies. As Elijah takes the yogurt cup from her, Rory’s already peeling one of the flower stickers he keeps beside the register for occasions such as this one. “Hi, pretty girl,” he greets her leaning downward to press an artistic rendition of a lily flower to her forehead. 

He looks up at Elijah’s question, finds him looking a little flustered, all things considered. Rory winks at Rhia before straightening up, leaning up against the counter and moving his attention to Elijah. “She’s in the back,” he assures him. “Coloring zombies.” He does not elaborate on this before he calls, “Annie! Elijah and Rhia are here!” He turns back to Elijah with a raised eyebrow and a tilted head, clearly curious about his disposition. “Special occasion this time round?” he asks. Though he supposes maybe his bit of restlessness could be a result of Rhia’s insistence on staying at her grandparents’ place. Rory can’t imagine that’s an easy task to deal with — not one he ever had to deal with, mind you, with one set of Annie’s grandparents dead and the other looking to turn her into the cold-hearted business tycoon daughter they couldn’t turn their real one into.

Annie wastes no time in skipping out of the back room, a large smile on her face. “Hi, Mr. Elijah!” She greets him happily, but bypasses him altogether to make her way towards little Rhia. “Hi, Rhi Rhi,” she coos out the nickname she’d given the other their first time here, leaning down to give the young toddler a gentle hug. She’d started her off with tight hugs like she’d give most people in her life — Rory had to teach her quickly that that was, perhaps, not the best idea with a two-year-old. She’s clearly taken the advice to heart, and it melts something in Rory. She’d’ve been a fantastic big sister, he thinks ruefully. Chances of that now, however, are slim to none. 

Rory nods over at Annie. “Aye, she’s at your service,” he tells the other man, before turning his attention to his daughter. “Elijah needs some help picking out the flowers today.”

Annie’s eyes light up as she takes Rhia’s little hand in hers. “Oh my god,” she nods enthusiastically at Elijah. “You know I love picking flowers, Mr. Elijah.”

His lips press together in an amused smile as he glances at Elijah. He gestures over at the two girls. “You heard her,” he tells him. 

[devilyn]

is that too much to ask? | tsukishima kei

— alexa, play: love somebody by lauv

I don't wanna be the one to say

That we gotta have a conversation

I don't wanna watch the tears roll down your face

Know, I hurt you, and I, I'm sorry

All I wanted was to love somebody

— synopsis: tsukishima avoids physical affection with you as often as he can, and you wonder what it is that you’re doing wrong in your relationship.

— genre: angst, happy endings, & the product of my writer’s block

— word count: 2.6k

You knew Tsukishima wasn’t the affectionate type--you knew that when you asked him out in your second year of high school. You knew that if you hugged him in front of his volleyball teammates, he’d stiffen and cringe away from your touch. It was natural for you to start reaching your arms out towards him before stopping yourself and resorting to a proud pat on the arm and a bright smile. It was to the point where even Hinata once commented that he’d never even see the two of you hug.

Now that the two of you were in university, and almost three years into your relationship, you started wondering what exactly it was about physical affection with you that Tsukishima hated so much. You started to experiment--slipping your hand into his when you walked back to your shared apartment together after his long volleyball practices, or tossing your arms around his neck in excitement after he wins a tough match. Each time, he’d react the same way. He would pull his hand from yours, or he’d put his hands on your shoulders and put some distance between the two of you.

At first, you believed it to be embarrassment. He didn’t like PDA--you could understand that. Even you had a limit to how much you could flaunt your relationship status in public. But even when the two of you were in the comfort of your apartment, you wondered why he never initiated any physical affection.

“Kei,” you whispered his name softly, and he looked up from his phone to meet your eyes. “Do you...not love me?”

He blinked, raising both brows in genuine surprise and slowly lowering his spoonful of cereal back into his bowl. 

“...Are you dumb?”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes and tightening your grip on your keys.

“It’s whatever,” you murmured, pulling the front door open and not bothering to spare him a glance over your shoulder. “I’ll see you.”

You left quickly to not have to deal with the aftermath of your sudden question, the door shutting firmly behind you.

Was it selfish of you to want more proof of his love for you? Sure, there were small things. Things like how he always helped you study for your exams if he could, or how he’d make you a cup of coffee before you left because he knew you struggled with staying awake during your morning classes. You knew he loved you because of these things.

But there was always a small voice in the back of your head asking if he only did those things to drag your stagnant relationship on. For a year now, it felt as if every day was the same with him. Actions were repetitive, dates were infrequent and only occurred when you asked, and at times, each day with him felt like a clone of the previous. Which is why you started wanting to hold his hand, and melt into his warm embrace.

Your fingers tightened on your tumbler, holding the contents of your boyfriend’s love--the coffee he made you this morning. 

Even at home, he would merely pet your head when you cuddled into his side on the couch. Kisses were rare unless you initiated, and he’d always tease you whenever you whined about wanting him to kiss you first. It’s not like you two never had sex either, so what was so wrong about your relationship that left you wanting more?

Your phone buzzed in your other hand, and you glanced at it briefly.

u ok?

You tucked your phone back into your pocket without replying. You never should’ve asked. Now you’ve disrupted the peace you had in your stagnant relationship.

Though, maybe it was okay to want more.

“Is it really a problem?” Kuroo sipped his drink through his straw, raising a brow in your direction. “You’ve been dating for three years. I’m more surprised that you didn’t bring this up to him earlier.”

Your fingers tapped rhythmically against the half empty tumbler, teeth gnawing anxiously at your lower lip.

“...I think I was too scared in the beginning,” you murmured.

“Mm,” your friend hummed softly in agreement. “You’ve changed. You were always affectionate before.”

You blinked, raising your gaze from the table between the two of you to meet Kuroo’s grin.

“How’d you know that? We just became friends in uni--”

“Tsukki told me,” he cut you off, and your fingers stopped tapping against your drink. “And it’s not like I don’t notice that you hug me more than you hug your boyfriend.”

“First of all, don’t say things that can be so easily misunderstood,” you tossed a crumpled up napkin at the former captain, and he quickly dodged it with a short laugh. “Second, what do you mean Kei told you? He said I used to be more--affectionate?”

This was news to you. You never thought that he would notice how you changed to make him feel more comfortable with your relationship.

It was true that towards the beginning of your relationship, you were always scared of upsetting him, so you did everything you could to change to his needs. You held back words you knew he wouldn’t want to hear, and only ever spoke up if something truly bothered you. It worked up until the end of your first year before you started opening up to him slowly. But something you could never seem to breach was Tsukishima’s habit of avoiding physical affection. 

“You know how he is,” Kuroo waved his hand dismissively, “Your boyfriend’s terrible with emotions. I tell him all the time that I’m surprised you lasted so long--”

“Don’t talk badly about him like that,” you scolded your friend with a scowl, to which he snickered quietly.

“Well, you can’t deny it, can you? He sucks, but he has his good points. That’s why you’re still dating him, right?”

It was true that you couldn’t deny it. Tsukishima had many faults, and his lack of desire for physical affection was only one of them. Still, you were just as much at fault for not communicating with him out of fear that he’d leave you.

“He’s just scared, y’know,” Kuroo rested his chin in his upturned palm. “Just like you. Even after three years, he’s not used to affection. Why don’t you just talk to him instead of sulking about it to me? I feel like I might as well be the third person in your relationship with how often you two come to me about each other.”

You were quiet for a bit, swirling the now cold coffee around as you processed the thought of confronting the issues you’ve been burying for so long.

“...he’d never date you,” you finally murmured, turning your gaze out the window.

“Ah, and you would?”

You didn’t need to look up to see Kuroo’s smug smirk.

“You wish.”

But no matter how much you didn’t want to admit it, there was some truth in Kuroo’s words. You had used him as a therapist far too many times, when your issues could easily be solved by confronting your fears and sitting down to talk with the man you lived with.

If only speaking to Tsukishima about your problems was as easy as it sounded.

By the time you finally gathered up the courage to even speak his name, your boyfriend was standing from the dinner table to grab your plates and heading towards the sink where his dishwashing responsibilities awaited him. The sight of his broad back seemed to glue your lips shut. 

You couldn’t get the words out.

“Do you hate being touched by me?” was the first thing you wanted to ask.

“Is it wrong for me to ask for you to tell me you love me sometimes?” would probably be the second, paired with, “Can you just kiss me once in a while without complaining about it?”

It all felt so childish, even before the words left your lips. So instead, you sat frozen in your chair, gazing at your boyfriend’s back that you longed to embrace.

Slowly, you stood. Before your brain could tell you how stupid of an idea this was, your feet moved forward until you were standing just a step away from Tsukishima’s much taller form.

Your arms wrapped around his waist from behind, and you could feel the way he jolted in surprise as you rested your cheek against his warm back.

“I’m washing--”

“Do you hate me?”

Silence.

Well, that question didn’t come out as expected, though it’s not like you didn’t wonder that too.

“Don’t turn around,” you pleaded quietly over the running water. To someone else, you must’ve looked like a fool, clinging onto your boyfriend like your life depended on it while he soaped up your dirty dishes.

He granted your wish, and didn’t whirl around to pull away from your touch. Instead, he continued scrubbing at your dinner plates.

“You have until I finish washing the dishes to explain yourself,” he stated calmly, and your arms tightened around his waist. It was a demand.

“I heard...from Kuroo that you said I used to be more affectionate before we started dating,” you stammered out quickly, “If you knew that, then why do you get so stiff and push me away when I try to initiate physical affection even after we’ve been dating for three years? Do you hate being touched by me so much?”

The kitchen was quiet, now that your boyfriend was drying the dishes. His hand stopped moving robotically over the wet plates, and he slowly set them down on the counter instead. You could tell he wanted to say something, but wasn’t sure how. So you continued.

“I do know that you love me, Kei,” you murmured weakly, voice muffling against his shirt as you shifted to rest your forehead against his broad back instead. “I do. I know you’re always thinking of me, and I love that about you. But when you push me away, I can’t help but think that you’re just pretending to love me for the sake of convenience.”

“If I wanted convenience, I wouldn’t date you,” he mumbled under his breath, and the words stung to the point that your arms dropped from around the middle blocker’s waist.

No longer confined by your embrace, Tsukishima spun around and grabbed your shoulders, his eyes wide with panic.

“Y/N wait--I didn’t mean it that--”

“You’re such an ass,” you averted your gaze from his, trying to blink away the tears that began to blur your vision.

“Listen--” his voice was frantic, but you didn’t let him continue. You were scared to hear what would come next if you did.

“I guess I was wrong, and the voice in my head is right,” you cut him off, voice trembling. “So I’ll just tell you everything that I held back since it’s all going to fall apart anyway.”

It took all your courage to turn your teary gaze back to his deceivingly sorrowful golden eyes.

“Is there something so disgusting about me that you don’t even want to hold me? Even after this many years?” you began, fully prepared to spill every one of your fears from the past three years. “Am I asking for too much when I ask you to kiss me every once in a while? Is it wrong for me to want you to just tell me you love me sometimes? Am I a bad person for thinking our relationship has become so boring because neither of us want to make the first step to try and change because we’re both scared of scaring each other away?”

You rubbed your arm against your eyes, trying to pretend like you weren’t sobbing into your sleeve. Though you’re sure you weren’t a very good actor, with the way you hiccuped and took shaky breaths between your questions.

“Did I make a mistake trying to change myself to fit your standards? Should I have never confessed to you back--”

Your voice was suddenly muffled into your boyfriend’s chest, and you gasped at the suddenness of his hug.

“Please don’t regret it,” he requested weakly, his voice trembling just as much as yours.

Those simple words were all it took for your sobs to come out freely, your shaky hands clawing upwards to grip onto Tsukishima’s t-shirt, clinging onto him as if he was the only thing keeping you grounded. It was a hug you’d been craving for ages--one he initiated. You hated that it took you throwing your heart at him for it to happen, but what were you to do?

He allowed you to cry as he continued.

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” he murmured into your hair. “There’s nothing wrong with what you want. I was...just scared, like you said.”

“Of what?” was what you wanted to ask. And like he read your mind, Tsukishima elaborated.

“The more I hug you, and the more kisses we share, the more I fall for you,” he whispered, as if fearful of the words he was admitting to you. “The deeper I fall, the more scared I get that you’ll leave me when you remember how bad of a boyfriend I am. I want to give you 100% of me, but at the same time, I’m too scared to do exactly that.”

Your cries were quieting down, and you took shaky breaths, inhaling his familiar scent each time. Just his embrace managed to soothe your frantic sobs.

“So I avoided anything that would make me fall too much in love with you, but it’s already too late,” he laughed bitterly, pulling back slightly so he could cup your cheeks, thumbs brushing at the wet streaks staining your skin. Your lips pursed into a small pout, and he couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips. “I already love you too much to let go of you, and you know it.”

“...you’re really, really not allowed to be cute right now,” you grumbled, and he laughed.

“Yeah, I could say the same to you,” he joked, leaning forward so his lips could brush over your forehead.

“...can you kiss me now?” you murmured shyly, and his grin morphed into a weak smile before his hands tilted your jaw up towards him. His lips met yours softly, and though this wasn’t your first kiss, it was the first time you’d felt this way with Tsukishima in three years.

When he pulled away, you were crying again.

“Stop crying,” he cursed, “If someone saw you right now, they’d think I was bullying you.”

You babbled something incoherent through your tears of joy, and your boyfriend’s expression softened in a way you hadn’t witnessed in what felt like years.

“You have to take responsibility, you know,” his palms cupped your jaw, pulling your teary gaze back up to his as his thumb brushed over your lower lip. “For making me fall so deeply in love with you again.”

You laughed, tears dripping down your cheeks as you wrapped your arms around Tsukishima’s neck to pull him down into another love-filled kiss.

“Until when?” you grinned when you pulled away, his eyes closed as he sighed happily and rested his forehead against yours.

“Until I make up for the three years I put you through,” he mumbled, and you smiled softly as your lips grazed over his lightly. As you pulled back, he leaned forward and peppered kisses across your face.

“So, until forever?” you teased with a quiet giggle.

“Until forever,” he whispered, lips meeting yours once more.

[tobi-smp]

Note: please read this post talking about dark sbi (and dark fic in general) as a genre before starting discourse on this post (if you’re so inclined to do so) [Link]

If nothing else so we’re all on the same page.

but! I would Also like to point out the catch22 that many sbi fic writers face as far as tagging goes.

tagging in dark fiction is very important. it’s important in All fics, both as a sorting tool and as a courtesy to the readers, but the stakes are Upped when the content in a fic carries subject matter that can be upsetting or even triggering. your readers need to be allowed to make informed decisions when they consume your content.

this is also why it sticks out More when there are mistakes in tagging with dark fic, Especially in a fandom like the dream smp where the source material has an abundance of dark themes to delve into and a fan base that has exposed a lot of young people to fanfic and to ao3 specifically for the first time.

I can say from experience (and I do mean a Lot of experience) both with general dsmp fic and dark fic that I don’t think there’s a noticeable discrepancy between people mucking up the tags in one vs the other. but I can Also say from experience that it’s more jarring and potentially Upsetting when the subject matter not being tagged for is on the more extreme end.

so dark fic gets this reputation as being Particularly Bad at tagging (and therefore bad as a genre) when that isn’t particularly true. and it’s difficult to talk about, because part of the core idea is Right. tagging Is, in a way, More Essential here even when it’s a universal courtesy. but it’s also blatantly singling a genre out because it’s not universally appealing enough to have it’s issues filed down like people do for other genres.

but then On The Flip Side, writers of dark fiction will also often be Punished for accurate, robust tagging. sometimes Dramatically so.

I mainly see this happen in two ways.

1: people who treat writing descriptive tags (meaning going into detail about what, exactly, is present within the content of the fic. not in how Specifically it’s worded) as the Same Thing as direct exposure to whatever content may be triggering.

which is something that I can Empathize with, I think we’ve all had instances where we’ve had a full body cringe reading the tags on a fic and have to scroll speedily away, but that’s Obviously Obstructive To The Implementation Of Trigger Warnings.

it’s not fun to see the word “rape” written out but if it’s in a movie then it’s much Better to see it written out in a trigger warning than to find out by watching it yourself.

but still, people will argue that if the tags themselves are objectionable enough (by their own metric of course) then that content just should not exist at all. which can absolutely Discourage people from Giving their content robust trigger warnings and tags.

2: people outright harassing a fic creator because they saw an objectionable tag and made assumptions about what Must Be in the content of the fic.

this is something that’s Particularly problematic within the dark sbi space because it’s a familial relationship being depicted with these dark themes that often times dip into possessive and intense emotions.

which means that misinterpretations of these tags (both willful and accidental) can be used to rather Awful Effect to demonize the author.

this isn’t theoretical either. about a week or two ago discussions on the validity and morality of dark sbi as a genre were brought up again on twitter because people had singled out and harassed an author over the use of a tag.

the tag in question was “non-consensual touching,” which Yes can definitely sound alarming. but that terminology, while loaded, is not inherently sexual or romantic in nature as Consent is not inherently sexual or romantic in nature. teaching your child that they don’t have to hug their aunt if they don’t want to is teaching them consent just the same as teaching your child that they don’t have to have sex if they don’t want to is.

and in this case it Was meant completely platonically in the context of the fic, meaning Hugging and Cuddling. the entire conversation was based on content of the fic that Was Not There, that had been imagined based on tag that is Accurate but not incriminating in the way that it was being presented as.

and yes, it Could have been worded differently (maybe “non-consensual cuddling”? it’s less immediately alarming but also less inclusive) and it Was the work of clumsy wording from a young author, but also that’s exactly it.

when we create an environment where young authors who haven’t done anything Wrong can not only be punished but Mass Shamed extremely publicly for fumbling the wording of a trigger warning because people are actively Looking for reasons to start controversy over this genre then all we do is foster an environment where people Don’t tag.

the content of the fic Did Not contain what it was being accused of, if the author had simply Not done courtesy of trigger tagging for content that Could potentially be upsetting to some people then they wouldn’t have been mass harassed and dog piled, and I absolutely would not blame them for internalizing that fact. but that also makes the community Less Safe overall (at least internally).

so we’ve created this catch22 where dark fic authors are shamed and harassed for not being descriptive Enough with their tags, but Also where dark fic authors can be shamed and harassed for being descriptive about their writing at all. where people are willing to start harassment and smear campaigns without double checking the content of the fic because the tag itself was So Personally Offensive for them to read.

if we want people to foster an environment where dark content can be consumed Safely, where people can make informed decisions before Entering a fic, then we Cannot punish people for broadcasting what’s in their fic to give people the Information With Which To Make Decisions With.

[inkblot-inc]

There's Always Today

Summary: Set post Westview; Can we get some sort of closure somewhere PLEASE I’m begging- oh hey there it is :3

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Warning(s): The mood is pretty somber for most of it but we’ve got a happy ending, so think hurt/comfort vibes; Wanda tears (I feel like that should be one), R sometimes needs to think before they speak but hey, they only mean well- (they just fumble the tactfulness bag a bit), break up/end of relationship but like amicable? (Bud it's a complex situation to think through), Also Vision being a toaster (but not a bad toaster per say)

Notes: So like, after Wandavision, I kept thinking about the fact that Vision is now essentially alive again with all of his memories and how he kinda just…took off? Yeah, I was bouncing ideas based off of that fact and out came this. Also was lowkey listening to Die for You by The Weekend while writing (don't know that is has any bearing on the story but you know...vibes). Hope you enjoy it!

Word Count: Somethin' like 3.2k

*squints* I give NO ONE permission to repost or translate my work. Make your own shit

You kept to the slightly worn path as you pulled up to the isolated residence and there she was, sitting on the step of her cabin.

She’d waited long enough.

As you got off your Davidson and cut the engine, Wanda got up to greet you with a quick hug that you gladly returned. “Thank you for coming, Y/n. For answering I mean,”

You laughed through your nose, “I’ve only been looking for you for the better part of a month.”

She pulled away to look you in the face, a sad smile made its way onto her own as she tried to return the same energy. “Well I hope you’re not too tired of the routine.”

You squeezed her shoulder under your palm.

"Never."

Wanda brought you inside as she put the kettle on. She took the time to make her request for your help more clear.

You’d kind of just been…Wandering the world as of now. With the Avengers coughing up dust with vacancies and having all but missed a good five years of your life, you yearned to regain connection.

There weren’t many things tying you to one place and you took full advantage of that. It was also a bit of a perk that people didn't really contact you for one reason or another, your schedule clear more often than not.

Missing five years of your life had done a lot to your psyche and lasting effects always trickled down, but you just wanted to make the sacrifice worth it.

Even though Yelena was a grown woman and could look after herself, you kept an ear out and a private phone line for her. It’s the least you could do to help a friend rest easy.

When Wanda disappeared after the smaller service you'd gotten together for Natasha, you'd gone to look for her. With both of you discombobulated and grieving the losses thrown at you in what felt like minutes, you figured it'd be best to stick together to have someone to lean on. You wound up going in circles before finally hearing about Wanda being somewhere in New Jersey. Maybe too late.

You were the best tracker Wanda knew. It was your specialty on the team; your superhuman sense of smell and hearing proved to be an invaluable asset on many a mission especially when paired with the efficient skill and tutelage of your late mentor. That being said, it was like something was actively keeping you away from Wanda, something she had no idea about. The block keeping you away simply ensured that you persisted that much more, and this time? There was finally a give to the wall coated in byzantium color.

Wanda told you all about what happened in Westview, her life with “Westview Vision”, her kids, the hex, Agatha Harkness, seeing “Real Vision” again, and the confusing mess of it all over a borderline addictive hibiscus blend.

“And he just..took off?”

“I know that he has his memories back. It’s Vis, my Vision, it’s just—I don’t know why-” Wanda heaved a sigh as her palms pressed firmly against her face. The past week had done nothing but let her stress from the whole ordeal grow and fester while on her own.

Why did he just leave? Without so much as a word. Wanda just finished grieving Vision and accepting that he was gone, only to find out that the revived version of him had somehow regained his memories sometime after he nearly killed her. It was like someone was playing a cruel joke on her over and over. Yes, she wanted to just move on with her life, but the fact remains that if her Vision is alive now, they can just go and live their lives together like they wanted somewhere else. For real this time.

Knowing that you’d been looking for her was the good news that she needed to hear.

So why wasn't he here?

Why did she have to wind up alone again?

You rested your hand over Wanda’s from across the dining room table with a warm smile on your face. “We’ll find ‘em, then you can ask Vision yourself," You stood and made your way back to the door before tossing your head over your shoulder. "Then I can kick his bolts in if you want.”

You wasted no time and it was still relatively early in the day when the two of you set out to find Vision. This case was a bit tougher to get a read on.

One: Vision didn’t own too many things to use as a fresh reference, and Two: He’d been in a sterilized building for the past five years, so you’d doubt he’d smell like much of anything now.

Every moment mattered at this point.

You settled on starting at places you know that he’s been before branching outward, Wanda narrowed down the list to start with the cities they’d visited together while on the run some time ago.

He’d never been anywhere else.

As you both traveled through Europe, You made it a point to keep Wanda’s mind off of the negative tilt of what ifs that seemed to ice out her optimism frequently.

The mention of Vision seemed to kill whatever positive buzz you could pull out of her. It wasn't much of a learning curve to it; Copenhagen was an especially quiet venture.

-----

You and Wanda slipped into a quiet cafe out of the light shower of rain. Both of you seated in a table near the back, you quickly tucked into a croquette platter without hesitation. Being set on high alert as a default actually leaves an impression on your stomach. Debatable whether it’s good or bad.

Wanda followed your lead much more slowly; she could probably actually taste the food.

There were hardly any leads as of now, and Vision's scent was just about gone from the navy jumper Wanda gave you for reference.

A grim smile rose on her face as she watched you, "I'm sorry for dragging you through all of this, Y/n."

You raised a brow as you proceeded to toss three cherry tomatoes in the air before catching each one, your arms out in a presenting fashion. "What're you sayin' sorry for? This is quite literally my whole life, Wands."

Wanda giggled a bit as she conceded with a small round of applause, "Yes, this is precisely what they paid you to be an Avenger for."

You narrowed your eyes playfully as you chewed. "I didn't get paid at all," You tossed a crumpled napkin at Wanda. "And neither did you, slick!"

She went into a full laugh as she threw her straw paper at you. Your eyes filled with mirth at the sound you'd come to be bent on bringing out of her.

Settling down and swallowing the contents in your mouth, you have your fist cover your mouth and stave off a belch. “Well we can cross Antwerp off the list. What do we have left? Paris and,”

“Edinburgh.”

You hum, “Right. Well we might have to double back here to catch the ferry that goes out to Scotland. France has gotten real finicky about rides the past few years and we got a lotta ground to cover,”

Wanda’s eyes were upward as she thought things over. “We can skip France altogether.” Her tone was resolute, certain. “Vis didn’t care to go to Paris anyways, It’s probably pointless to go.”

You took a quick drink from your beer, “Odd. Why?”

You kick yourself. The dimming of her eyes should’ve been enough.

Wanda keeps her eyes up, but her eyes aren’t wet as she gives a wry chuckle. “Vis said it was too typical for us. In the City of Love, going to the eiffel tower for an evening, fugitives or not. And typical as it sounded, I kind of wanted that y’know?”

You nodded along, “Yeah I get it, I mean sure everyone talks about it, but it’s a classic spot,”

Wanda fiddled with her fingers a bit as her eyes narrowed into as squint, still trained on the ceiling like the answers were written there. “To have a moment at a classic spot, if a bit cheesy, just to pretend everything was normal. That we were normal. We still went, but he was quick to add Belgium to the list afterward.”

Finishing up your food, you put your empty plate off to the side. “Well, I’ll make you a deal. We can go to Paris again after this, and we can do whatever the hell ya want, alright?”

And there they were again. Those reassurances you had no problem giving to Wanda, just sprinkled in.

You didn’t question a lot of things and preferred to take them in stride. It would cause problems from time to time, but it was something Wanda had grown to be very appreciative of. Even when she first met you; the times she needed her space were readily given and you never begrudged her when she went to bend your ear.

Moments like these remind her why she sought you out first, and why you were the first to show up.

As flighty as you could be, you were reliable.

You came back after tossing both of your trash out. Settling back in your seat, you both discussed the plan to get to Scotland.

-----

You kept an eye out for lurkers and people that might stare a bit too long as you walked out onto the deck of the boat. Neither of you were the general public’s favorite people, and the Westview incident was making its rounds outside of the states.

Wanda came out of the restroom to stand next to you. Your crossed arms rested on the rail as you leaned forward observing the clear scenery until you turned to face her.

You lightly bump Wanda’s shoulder, “I thought we left the bags in the cabin,”

Her eyebrows furrow before she catches on, letting out a tired laugh. Her hand ran over her face to try and wake herself up more. “Are they that visible?”

“No no, I just never really heard you settle down last night. Figured you didn’t sleep much.”

“You’d be right then,”

You turned to look at all the cloud cover, “Senses haven’t failed me yet.”

Both of you looked up when you heard the announcement that they were coming into port.

Wanda took a deep breath, “Let’s hope.”

She made her way off of the ferry in rushed steps with you behind her. You quickly take the lead going past a train station as you catch the remnants of a metallic pine-y scent, like offset Christmas. It was close enough to what you remember of Vision. That and it was only March.

You could see Wand’s posture stiffen a bit as you reached an apartment building.

Recognition.

You turn to the redhead, “Are we headin’ in?” This was ultimately her search and venture. Less courteous parts of you had lost fondness for the synthezoid when he turned you in back at that german airport as you let certain parties escape imprisonment way back when. That, and you and Vision didn’t mesh well to begin with. Whatever the outcome was when Wanda and Vision met again, you would simply follow her choice.

Wanda wordlessly pushed the door open as you stepped aside to let her go in first. Going up a few floors Wanda eventually stopped in front of a cherrywood door, the “416” all but scratched and faded on the plate.

You took Wanda’s hand in yours to offer some form of comfort, and she squeezed it slightly in appreciation.

Using her powers to unlock and open the door, you both made your way inside. The scent was more concentrated here.

Wanda seemed to go off into her own world, her hand passing over the back of the small sofa as she moved past it. It was only slightly more furnished than she remembered and new light fixtures made the space appear brighter than she’d ever seen it.

“I see you’ve let yourself in, well that’s fine.”

That voice

Spinning on her heel, Wanda turned to find Vision, granted in his human form, wearing a cream sweater and slacks.

His eyes flitted to you briefly, “You’ve brought the Bloodhound. A peculiar acquaintance, but I suppose it would only be appropriate.”

You pointedly ignored him as you stayed by the door. You looked to Wanda, “I’ll be just outside if you need me.”

Wanda looked at you, uneasy. “Oh- alright then.” It was odd for you to not be there with her now that it’d become a constant for her the past couple of weeks. As she watched you softly click the door shut, she debated whether or not she should call you back in to stay so her nerves would fully settle. She took a deep breath as she rooted herself to the floor, listening as your footsteps eventually began to peter out.

---

Wanda rooted herself to the floor as her gaze shifted from the door to Vision who stood a ways away, apparently more content with the silence than Wanda herself.

It was a good minute before Vision moved fully into the main room. Wanda felt lost. Angry? She felt that her expectations had been met and missed at the same time and she just wanted to move past the wall that seemed to divide them.

Before she could say anything however, Vision brought a hand up to stop her.

"I cannot go back with you Wanda. I will not, rather."

Of course he knew why she was here.

Her tongue was almost trapped in her mouth, "What? Why not? -" The part of her that held out hope began to shrivel up as she felt her pulse rise. In a way this wasn't surprising, but the hurt she felt from the statement was still very real.

Vision's words were not harsh, but they were cutting, "We cannot- I cannot simply go back to the way that things were, Wanda." He then deactivated his human cover as she got a good look at his new glacier form. Wanda struggled to keep looking at him and took a hard swallow, opting to look to the floor and wishing that you were in the room to give her your strength as she glanced at the door once again.

Her hands stayed clenched at her sides as her eyes began to water. "What I did to you, in Westview and to in lieu of that-"

“It has nothing to do with what you’ve done, Wanda. I do not think less of you, nor do I think ill of you. and although I understand it must be difficult to hear, I would like for you to hear my words and believe them.

Vision's eyes remained steady on Wanda. "I simply do not want this. I've taken time to reaffirm myself and think. I've come to the conclusion that I desire none of the life I remember living, no matter how vivid it was. It is not a beauty that I can recognize for myself anymore. As I am, my past feels far off and what I felt for you feels foreign, Wanda. It is something that I can acknowledge, but never fully grasp again.

"We have been torn apart and stitched back together and we have become vastly different people for it. I am simply not the same person...I am not who you've been looking for, Wanda.”

Vision’s words were a startling mix of heartfelt thought and clinical logic that Wanda found it hard to see past, fighting the overwhelming urge to recede into herself.

But she listened to him.

Her tears had yet to stop, but they were slowing down as she caught a glimpse of you outside the window, kicking a non-existent can as you had yet to be still.

Vision came closer and lightly placed his hand on Wanda's shoulder as he looked out of the same window from behind her.

“Every day I wake I find that I know frighteningly little about life, but what I’ve come to understand is that you create your memories in the present because it is the only thing that is promised. I can only hope to make the most of it as it comes, and I hope for you to do the same, Wanda.”

Vision pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead.

Wanda turned to face him and, for the last time, she raised her hand to Vision’s head over the blue chip gleaming back at her that took the place of the yellow she knew. She bit her lip as a smaller wave of new tears ran from her eyes.

“I-I can feel you.”

Vision covered her hand with his own in a soft grip.

“I’m glad.”

Wanda wasn't left with nothing as she had previously believed. And it was time that she understood that.

She looked back out the window.

---

You looked up from the steps to the building entrance as Wanda came out of it. Her face was a bit puffy and eyes red, but she was calm.

“I would ask how it went, but uh-”

“Better than I thought.” She took a second before she nodded to confirm as the conversation replayed in her head again.

“Oh! Well that’s good then,” You felt her hand slip into your own and you were more than a little confused. Where’s Vision then?

“Let’s get home, I’ll fill you in on the way.” You watched her create a portal back to the bed and breakfast to grab your things.

“Oookay?”

-----

It had been a little over a year since then. Wanda took that time to heal and process with all that happened seemingly one after another. It was a much needed calm as she used her powers less and less and just focused on other things to occupy her time.

She’d taken up farming and even got some area cleared to start growing other plants on the terrain surrounding her home. Certain topics were discolored, but they were less and less sensitive for her to think about.

It was an effort for a fresh start.

You hadn’t been traveling as much so you could be around for Wanda should she need you, but still enough so that you could stretch your legs. She wanted to wait a bit longer before she began to join you on your trips and venture freely.

You’d just come back from Bucharest, an extra set of hands to get a hold of a particularly slippery widow as a rare favor to Yelena.

As you pulled up to the remodeled cabin and got out of your new truck, you saw the familiar figure on the steps before she got up to meet you.

Hands full, you let her take one of the bags out of your grip.

“Nice trip?”

You shrug, “Eh, it was eventful. Yelena says hey by the way. It’ll probably be a bit before she can come by, but I was able to get you somethin’ while I was away,” You held the door open for her with your foot as you both made your way to the kitchen. “I got my contact to hook me up with some sugar maple seedling-things, since you mentioned wanting to grow ‘em last time. Jin even threw in a Gorosoe for a loyalty benefit.”

As you unpacked your to-go bags, Wanda simply listened to you ramble on about spiles and looking out back to find a spot for the trees to grow.

A smile bloomed on her face as she leaned forward to close the distance between you from across the table, and you gladly sunk into the kiss. Eventually pulling away, you were in a bit of a daze before you broke out into a grin. It'd been about a week since you'd last seen her.

“Thank you for being here.”

“As long as you’ll have me.”

As you got everything squared away and began helping Wanda prep dinner, her eyes drifted to a small frame that held two used ticket stubs to Paris sitting on the mantle in the main room.

The present is the only thing that’s promised.