#why do I do this to myself 🤦🏻‍♀️

[random0lover]

Slight tmi but do y’all ever get the greatest ideas in the most unconventional times? Like I was peeing and had the most heart wrecking angst mixed fluff idea pop into my mind for Simon and I almost started to tear up on the toilet 💀

But no for real this idea is so good and I wanted it to be a short little thing about Simon and the way his trauma has affected the way he is able to enjoy certain things (like music 😉) but how reader has helped him learn to be okay with enjoying those things again but for some reason I like to torture myself and focus on the angst for way to long and now the Drabble is now going to be a one-shot 😭

[recluseraven]

Me: Okay! I finished that way too long fanfic, time to start writing my history essay!

Also me: *starts writing out a new fanfic idea*

[hunterofartemis7]

Pt.10

Damain: well?

Asshole doctor: I have nothing to apologize for! She’s just a teenager with and her pregnancy hormones make her exaggerate!

Jason; pregnancy hormones!?

Raven:…..

Kori: shit

Tim: you’re pregnant!?

Raven:..*nods, tearing up again* I wanted to tell you myself…..😣

Jason: *draws his knife* okay so not only will you pay for making her cry the first time and insulting her, but also for ruining her chance to tell us she’s pregnant on her own terms!

Asshole doctor: you can’t do anything to me! We’re in a hospital! The security will have you arrested!

Tim: good point. *drags him outside by his hair*

Damian: *smirks*

Dick: we got this asshole covered little d. Go back with Rae and see your baby.

Raven: thanks dick..

Dick: don’t mention it, and congratulations!! *hugs her tightly* we are so celebrating after now I gotta go! *runs after Tim*

Jason: *ruffles her hair* congratulations kiddo. *follows dick and Tim outside*

Very Nice doctor: Miss? Are you ready?

Raven: *nods*

Very Nice doctor: alright. *brings her back in the room with Damian and Kori* Did he check any vitals before being an ass?

Raven: no…

Very nice doctor: I’m sorry Hun. I don’t know why he wasn’t fired yet. *checks her blood pressure, blood sugar, heart rate breathing etc.*

Damian: *staring her down like a hawk*

Very nice doctor: don’t worry sir, I’m got gonna hurt her

Damian: hm

Very nice doctor: well your BP is a bit high, but that’s to be expected considering what just happened. Blood sugar is also a bit lower than we’d like, but Your heart and lungs sound good.

Raven:..is that gonna hurt the baby?

Very nice doctor: right now it shouldn’t. You’re stressed so it’s understandable to have a higher BP than normal. Your blood sugar is more what I’m worried about. Have you eaten anything today?

Raven: yeah..but I can’t keep anything down

Very nice doctor: how often are you throwing up?

Raven: pretty often..I don’t exact times

VND: that’s okay hun. And it says in your records your anemic right?

Raven: *nods*

VND: are you on any iron supplements?

Raven: no ma’am..

VND: okay. If its alright I’d like to put you on some for the rest of the pregnancy, as well as prenatal vitamins and some meds to help with the nausea

Kori: are all these meds good for her?

VND: yes. One is just vitamins, the other is similar, mostly just to get some iron in her system. The nausea meds are the only “medication” she’ll actually be on. And don’t worry, I won’t prescribe her anything that wasn’t safe for her and baby.

Kori: okay.

VND: now with all that out of the way, you ready to see your baby?

Raven: yes!!

VND: *smiles* okay, lay down hun.

Raven: *lays down on the bed*

VND: *puts a blanket over her and pulls her hospital gown up* fair warning, this is gonna be cold. *gets that weird jell stuff that they use for ultrasound and puts it on her belly*

Raven: *flinched from the cold*

VND: sorry

Raven: it’s okay..

Damian: *holds her hand beside her*

Raven: *small squeeze*

VND: you ready?

Raven: yes

VND: *puts the wand (I think that’s what it’s called) on her abdomen*

Raven: *watching the screen waiting to see the baby*

VND: *points at the small bean* and there’s your baby

Raven:..🥹

Damian: *smiles with happy tears in his eyes* it’s small🥹

VND: yes it is. Your 6 weeks right now, and baby has a strong heart beat

Kori: 🥹 it’s so precious..

Raven: *happy crying* our baby..*looks at Damian* I can’t wait to meet it..🥹

Damian: *kisses her and her belly* I can’t wait either. I’m already in love with it

VND: you two are adorable

*meanwhile outside*

Cop: so one more time….why are you beating up a doctor?🤦🏻‍♀️

Jason: cause he is very very rude and unprofessional to his patients and made our sister in law to be cry.

Tim: and we have about 200+ different complaints about him that the hospital keeps throwing in the trash

Cop:….i don’t get paid enough

[trynafindbarbiee]

I'mma cryyy! It's not even 3 days and I'm here with my success story 🥺💗

Someone please help !! 😩<3

So i started your routine that you followed to tap into the void , my goal was to wake up in the void because I was hella scared of those symptoms we get before tapping in 🤦🏻‍♀️ and lemme tell you on the 2nd day of doing that routine I woke up in the void while I was sleeping at afternoon I didn't realize it because it was such an peaceful experience to be honest , I completely forgot to affirm for my desires because I was just chilling there UwU but my brother woke me up by pulling my legs ( he's so naughty af ) 🥴

Then I changed my affirmations I always wakes up in the void To I'm always aware when I'm in the void , and continued the routine AND on the 3rd day! On the freaking 3rd dayyy at night I went to sleep as usual and again woke up there AaAaAaAaA ??? 😭 but this time I was absolutely aware that I'm in the fuxking VOIDDD! Gurll I hella luv you , I'm not even kidding 💗 THANK YOU 💗(genuinely) 🛐

I manifested :

° Revised myself from head to toe

° Lucky girl syndrome

° Money , money , moneyy 💲

° Df and df ofc

° Having the ability to go back in time whenever I say "Back" 5 times

° Having my desired clothes

° My parents being sweet, caring and loving

° Mu dad to be a big business man

° Hazel eyes

° Beauty with brain

° Whole Aesthetic life

° Unlimited foooood

And some personal things too ☺

Here I'm mentioning those 2 affirmations and subliminal I used so you don't get bombarded with questions :

Affirmations I affirmed throughout the day ( I only choosed 2 )

1. I always wakes up in the void

2. I'm always aware when I'm in the void

The subliminals I used

1. https://youtu.be/J9bJQKr1mZU ( it's @lotusmi 's The mirage void sub, she's my favv sub maker 🪄💗 her subs are awsome )

2. https://youtu.be/oKU8YIicYQg ( elipson waves by slade, this sub is so relaxing It helped me calming down my mind while doing the lullaby method at night )

Can I be your anon 🍬 ? Please

#ilobeyoubarbie

Success story !

This is what I love to read , I'm so happy and proud of uh I couldn't be happier! Gooo bestiee enjoy your life to the fullest ♡

Tysm for sharing the stuff you used ( why this ask is so cute ? 😩 )

iLY TOO <3

Anonss, want me to manifest for you?

[margareth-lv]

🥸😎 Conspiracy theories, hidden messages and flath earth. Part 2 😎🥸

In an earlier post, I allowed myself what I thought was a fair conclusion, that without conspiracy theories, or at least without the One and Only Most Important Theory (that Sam and Caitríona are a couple), there would be no us and no fandom. I stand by that thesis. We are built on conspiracy theories. Now - with Sam's IG story of the Elf on the Shelf holding the little elf in her arms in mind - I want to talk about the problem of hidden messages sent by Sam and Caitríona.

Are hidden messages our invention? Is it a product of our sick, degenerate minds? Or is there something to it? Are hidden messages a fact, and not the delusion of a group of, excusez-moi, paranoid, stupid women?

❓

Some of the comments under my note about Mama Elf and her Baby Elf have asked not to associate any hidden message with it.

But why not look for that hidden content? After three years in fandom, I look for hidden content everywhere. Everywhere. Sadly, I have to admit that there is less and less of it as time goes on.

*** *** ***

Just one example. A Blast from the Past. You'd have to be a really delusional, stupid woman not to see the subliminal messages Caitríona sent us last year. Yes, us, literally us, the delusional female fandom on Tumblr, because what other fan would associate that unique, rare beauty graphic standing in the background during Caitriona's IG live with Sam in May 2022?

The same unframed graphic appeared in the background of another interview that Sam also participated in (I don't think that interview was ever released).

💁🏻‍♀️

I don't recall Caitríona putting this unframed graphic in the background of any of her other online interviews, although I could be wrong. (Incidentally, for someone who loves and collects art, Caitriona's tastes are quite ordinary, as this unframed, banal graphic is the most important and prominent item in her new broom cupboard.)

Yes, of course, the graphic shows St Mary's Church in Bruton. That church ⬇️⬇️⬇️

*** *** *** The church that the Tumblr fandom associates with the mysterious activities of blogger hurleyburly in April 2021.

*** *** *** Yes, really, let's not look for hidden meaning in what Sam and Caitríona are doing. There is no reason to.

🤦🏻‍♀️

And the words 'REDACTED FOR PRIVACY' have not been calligraphed in Sam Heughan's distinctive capital letters.

There is nothing to see here. Please disperse.

[December 18, 2023]

[gloriousburden]

Hey!! I just wanna say your takes on Loki are super refreshing to read, and they cleared up my mind a little! Maybe this sounds a little stupid but I got so confused after rewatching everything (+ watching the series and I feel like that was the breaking point xd) and since I didn't read anything nor any opinions I was. Just lost in these jambled thoughts because I couldn't figure out Loki's character well since he just feels so... so different after Avengers/TDW and I really couldn't tell wtf was going on with him for a while until I sat down and deconstructed everything since it was so bad?? Maybe it's just me and I'm slow but I seriously never had that experience with a character I fixated before and I can't tell if it was because how badly Loki was handled by his writers or it's just me being scatterbrained or both 😭

Anyway thanks again this isn't anything new just wanted to let you know,, your/others takes in your posts are the ones that resonate the most with me and I feel less alone lol when I read some of them on other platforms it's either too much shipping or just... things that don't really make sense to me xd

So yeah, there's no take here, but thanks if you read!! You don't have to answer 🫰

Hello! I am so glad to hear that I could help. I know that feeling all too well, and it’s exactly why I started posting on here. Watching each weekly episode of the series as it was coming out was torture. It was like a punch to the gut every single time that they belittled Loki, mischaracterized him, hinted to the romance with Sylvie, had him consistently forgive the characters who treated him like shit, and took it all in a direction that… had absolutely nothing to do with Loki.

I fell in love with Loki’s character around 5 months before the series came out, and everyday I mourn what the fandom used to be despite the short amount of time I experienced it the way it was. Of course there was mischaracterization, but never was it as widespread as this.

In all honesty, the series turned me off from liking Loki for a hot minute. It disgusted, angered, and saddened me so much. I lost the ability to enjoy watching or interacting with anything related to Loki because I was reminded of it all each time. I remember watching the finale feeling complete fucking shock and a sense of dread. On top of all that bullshit… there’s going to be a season 2?! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I took comfort in the shared reaction and negativity Loki TikTok (at the time) had to it lol. What annoyed the shit out of me also was people beginning to ship Lokius/Sylki. You saw what both of those characters did to him, why ship them? the shipping bullshit is the worst. What happened to people liking Loki for JUST BEING LOKI?

I had that same confusion. How could this be Loki at all, but especially Loki after the events of THE AVENGERS?! This couldn’t even be Ragnarok Loki, so how could it be Loki DIRECTLY after/during his most villainous? I just kept thinking to myself.. Loki is intelligent. He is strong. He is more than what they represented him as. And he never deserved any of that. He is playful, of course. But he is not a buffoon who lets others walk all over him. He doesn’t deserve to be the laughingstock in a series that was supposed to uplift him. No other character was “humbled” in their own series like this.

Like you said, you’ve never had this experience with characters you’ve been fixated on before. I felt the same way. I had many favorite characters who were killed off, yet their deaths weren’t as brutal to me as the character assassination Loki was put through. I think I posted something along the lines of that. That all of this has made mourning Loki’s actual death in Infinity War so… weird.

The next months or so, I tried getting back into loving Loki. Which as you can probably tell… it worked. But I was still so disgusted by the series. I would pace around my room thinking of Loki rants in my head, and I’d write them down in my notes app just thinking… ‘well that doesn’t fucking add up.’

What helped was knowing there were others that shared the same feelings that I did.

I began lurking on this side of Tumblr, reading everyone’s posts (and even masterlists) of reasons why the series was so fucking garbage, and how it did absolutely no justice to Loki’s character.

It helped me realize and identify the reasons why the series upset me so much. It also helped me learn more about Loki’s character in general, to which I fell more in love with him. It helped me feel less alone, and I wanted to voice my own opinions as well. I felt so lost, and I really wanted to connect with others who felt the same.

Eventually, I began posting my own rants as well as following a bunch of other OG Loki fans who primarily focused on Loki’s character before the series (as well as before Ragnarok.)

These were people who understood Loki, and loved him as much as I did. I found community, and everyday I am so grateful for everyone here. I was (and still am) heavily fixated on Loki, and the mischaracterization would irk me so fucking badly. The lack of love for Loki for who he is, outside of ships and fanon, hurt me. He means a lot to me even if he is just a fictional character. I see myself in him.

So… long story short, it really means a lot that I could play a part in helping you out with your own confusion and feelings of loneliness through all of this bullshit. It’s the same thing I went through a few years ago. Wanting to help as well as wanting to connect with others who felt lost and hurt like I did, was why I started posting on here. It’s a bit of a full circle moment for me lol.

Other platforms are DREADFUL. I think I’ve said this on here somewhere before, but Pinterest has a lot of OG Loki content, and I find it easier to avoid the series related stuff. I recommend checking it out if you haven’t. Also… I HIGHLY recommend using the google search Before:Year feature helps so much!! It’s pretty fun to see a lot of the first reactions to Loki’s character, as well as the outdated memes 😭😭😭 OG Loki fangirls paved the way!!

It really is a peculiar ass situation. My favorite character has been killed off, an alternate version of him was revived, and it’s all complete misery. What REALLY annoyed me though was people just accepting it.. Like what? Really? This is Loki to you?

Thank you for this, and I’m glad you feel less alone. I hope that you continue to find community within this side of Tumblr. It’s all I ever wanted for anyone who stumbled across my blog. So sorry for the long ass response LOL

[cowpokeomens]

You know who would be super cute learning southern or Appalachian terms? Jolly. Explaining what a holler is and Appalachian lore. I think he’d be so cute pointing out little things like your pronunciation of things when your accent comes through??? I just got made fun of for how I pronounce tin foil 🤦🏻‍♀️

YEAH BABYYYYYY I swear I didn’t send myself this y’all just get me; sorry this has taken me so long to answer my life is hectic anyways!

I don’t know much abt Appalachian terms but I am a southern girly, and I also suffer from “raised by southern Baptist grandparent” syndrome so! I know some things abt the lingo! And I think the first time you say some shit like “down yonder” and your accent dips a bit more than usual, jolly does a double take bc??? He?? Is not familiar with that phrase?? He notices your accents peeks out, rather than weaving itself into every word or sentence. So he takes to collecting the pockets of twang or drawl that make an appearance, holds them very close to his little heart 😔 he adores the vocabulary that sneaks into conversation, how you called the toilet a “commode” the other day, the way your eyebrows knit together in concern as you say “bless their heart” about some unfortunate soul. For me, food is synonymous with the south, and I think Jolly would be very open to trying the things you talk about so fondly. Like, it takes him a minute to realize you’re saying “biscuits and gravy” and not “biscuitsngravy” as a singular term, but he takes to the dish very quickly (especially mine I use bacon grease for the roux jolly!!! Come thru!!!) additionally, I think he’d be very receptive to fried okra, understands why you’re so hypercritical of everyone else’s Mac n cheese when he tries yours (it uses Gruyere, jolly, and you have to do fried onions instead of breadcrumbs or it’ll get dry) but yeah he likes poking fun at how you pronounce the “L” sound in “talk,” this one is very niche to my region of the word but I think he’d really try to teach you how to say “oil” the right way (when really he just wants to hear you say it over and over 😔) anyways I literally love him

[iamkokonut]

Gintama thoughts

Currently on EP141 (Yoshiwara arc)

Rewatching Gintama 13 years after, during these years, I really disconnected myself with anime :/ so I don’t really know what happen after around EP200. Enjoying my time with it without any spoilers is really precious. (Unlike one piece idk why I can get so many spoilers before I caught up 🤦🏻‍♀️, and jujutsu kaisen too but I already give up on that series.)

I was going to rewatch the whole thing after I knew it ended but my lazy ass drag it until now to rewatch it. I was quite shocked to learn that Gintama has 80% female audience because people around me are mostly guys who watch it. But now I understand why haha. Most of the female characters inside are really strong - kagura, Otae, tsukuyo… It hinted with lots of yaoi, well I like ginhiji too :p also it’s mostly comedy, heavy storytelling and less fighting? In my opinion, that’s why it attracts lots of female audiences.

I still like it after many years after. Kagura is still my favorite <3 I still adore Okikagu. I still cry a lot during some episodes. I still enjoy it a lot. I still laugh a lot. Still one of my favorite series. Especially after watching one piece and knowing more anime / games, it makes it even more funnier. I love the serious arcs, I remember there’s one arc that make me cry for the whole tissue box and I still haven’t reach it yet…maybe I’ll leave another post after. Seeing Kamui and Tsukuyo again make me more excited!!

I do like female characters in most of the series. Not to mention my favorite kpop group is girl group too lol kagura is just so adorable and cool (of course)

[redblackstripes]

For the first time ever, I told myself I’d wait till all the episodes are out before starting on the drama. And it’s Kim Soo Hyun, so it’s extra hard hahaha.

Then I thought, hey, there are 12 eps. I can watch them slowly and by then everything will be out…

But guess what. I’ve binged all 12 eps in 2 days and now I’m here, sad and having to wait for the next one.

Why do I do this to myself 🤦🏻‍♀️

[studentbyday]

{ 31.10.24 } · { 50 days of routine } · { day 2 }

omg i had the wrong date in the last one, it was the 30th, not the 29th! 🤦🏻‍♀️ it's fixed now... happy halloween to those who celebrate! 🎃🦇

woke up at 6:35 so i could finish my microbio assignment in time ☕ (first win: not feeling so awfully sleepy and all-around terrible upon waking up)

finished the microbio assignment 30 mins before the deadline 💪🏻 (god i hope that sort of cramming never happens again, like, yes do the best under the circumstances and i believe i did, but try to put yourself [read: myself] in better circumstances too if you can, yeah?? [i'm talking to myself])

walk (30 mins) and watch: a video my sister sent me, a video that was recommended in my feed but i didn't actually like that much bc it didn't give me much hope so i'm not gonna share it, a whimsical video 🍃

catching up on immunology from last week 🏃🏻‍♀️

got today's discussion post for global health outta the way 🏃🏻‍♀️

almost done this week's global health module

on another note, it feels like it's been a while since i've ~entered a flow state~ with my work... but i had that today and yesterday as i was searching for articles, reading said articles, and writing what i had learned from them for my assignments. that's probably another contributor to why i feel better now than earlier this week (asides from surprisingly better sleep today than yesterday and actually having finished some important stuff). but boy, am i (still) exhausted and in need of a looooonnngg night's sleep... 😪😴

[birdofmay]

Why do autistic people sometimes are nonverbal?

Great question anon, experts try to find an answer to that for decades now! ☝🏼

There are many reasons and sometimes the person themself doesn't know it either.

One example could be more or less severe intellectual disability, so that they don't know how speaking works in general.

Or maybe language is confusing. I didn't understand spoken language until I was 3 years old, I think. Until then, speech was only noise to me. And even now my brain struggles to process what people say/that they are speaking if they're talking too fast or too complex, I feel like I have to turn on language comprehension myself, it's like a separate channel. This goes for written language as well btw. But in my case written language is easier to understand.

I don't think in words, but in pictures, so I have to translate every thought into words before I can tell others what I think. I can type without AAC now, but that was a lot of work and practice. It's like I had to learn a difficult foreign language, even though it's my native language. Because language is a strange concept and not how my brain operates. And if I try to speak, my brain goes completely blank, this is comparable to fully verbal people who forgot what they were going to say and don't know how to respond to something.

Some autistics have aphasia. This often is due to traumatic brain injury, but not necessarily.

Another reason could be childhood apraxia of speech (CAS). Those people often have normal language comprehension and processing, but their mouth won't cooperate. They try to say something, but they're only mumbling or can't make a sound at all, depending on the severity. This can be improved by therapy to a degree, but some people have it in such a severe way that speech never can be reached, only sounds if at all. These are the kind of nonverbal/nonspeaking autistics where people sometimes say "They normally would have the ability to speak, but they decided not to speak" - which is terribly incorrect, but it's because CAS people often have normal language comprehension, so some people assume that this automatically makes you able to speak 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm sure there are many other reasons, like regression for example or fatigue or traumatic injuries, but these are the main reasons I can think of for people who never learned how to speak from the very beginning.

Edit: it would be nice if people who learned to speak as a child and now normally can speak (even though it's hard for them) could stop adding on why they struggle with speech.

This post is about those who never learned to speak from the very beginning, or those who now can't speak at all anymore due to regression, etc. It's not about selective/situational mutism either. It's about autistics who can't speak at all and often never learned it from the very beginning.

[kajilychnis]

Someone on Tumblr called me a b word and told me to k/ll myself because I am a woman of color. This world is crazy for real. And why do you send in anonymous ? I can still block and report you 🤦🏻‍♀️

And he called me a woke... maybe because in one post I said it was not normal that in the live action of ninjago EVERYONE was white, LIKE WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ? DOES SENSEI WU SOUND WHITE TO YOU ? NYA ? HARUMI ? HUH ?! Even if they have "white names", you can still be called "Emily" and be fk Japanese or Chinese. Ninjago is in a fictional Asian country inspired by Japanese and Chinese culture THEY'RE F*CKING NINJAS !!! Does that sound white to you ?!?

And they call you "woke" well I'm sure not a masochist, I can't hate myself because I'm a woman of color. "Omg woke !" everytime they see a non submissive woman or a person of color in a movie. Like bro ? ☠️☠️

[chosetherose]

Why is no one mentioning the hypocrisy of Billie in regards to Taylor lately and all the fandom drama caused by this? My twitter timeline is just full of it and I can’t see anyone here mentioning it. I get not wanting to pit women against each other, but the way B has been behaving is quite disrespectful (even though she never mentioned Taylor). She has shaded people with “long albums”, said she doesn’t care about charts, her manager has been liking shady tweets towards Taylor, she has criticized artist releasing different variants of albums to go nr 1 and boost sales, spoken about how vinyls are bad for the environment and so on.

Only to release 22 (!!) versions of her album, I believe it was 10-12 different types of vinyls. Idc about her having variants or several vinyls and so on. I do care that she seems to be shading people only to use the same tactic (at an even bigger scale) to try and reach the nr 1 she absolutely doesn’t care about. I like her music, but don’t like how this is looking for her at all. She also brought that dude on stage who said Taylor didn’t write her own songs or whatever a while back. Taylor has done nothing but support Billie. Idk it’s just the whole “I don’t care about charts”, “people should care about the environment and not make several types of vinyls” only to turn around and to those exact things yourself. Not to mention the Gaza pin she wore, then went to Starbucks a few days later. And her manager is a Zionist.

People also seemed to take it as a dig towards Billie when Taylor released the BLOND:ISH remix because that artist is apparently very cautions about the environment.

I don’t follow Billie closely so I’m not up on any of this. I’m not doubting you Anon (I just haven’t looked it up for myself), but if this is true it’s very surprising. Maybe I’m just used to supporting someone who goes out of their way to not trash talk others.

Side note: I am fatigued by all the variations though. A full hypocrite because I understand only so many songs can fit on vinyls and I enjoy listening to the bonus songs on the three variants I have for TTPD 🤦🏻‍♀️. But I had to pay three separate shipping costs because they made it seem like I could never buy them together. Then you could.

[jadedbirch]

The Three Musketeers (2023) - Part 1: d'Artagnan

Directed: Martin Bourboulon

Starring: Vincent Cassel, Eva Green, François Civil 

First of all, you do not know the struggle we had to go through to even get our eyeballs on this movie! Only die hard Dumas idiots like me would have even bothered 🤦🏻‍♀️. Finally, we had to buy it from AppleTV. Anywho, below is my live blog of the latest French nonsense! I make a point of tutoring myself watching as many 3 Musketeers adaptations as possible, regardless of the psychological damage, and I kind of have high hopes for this one despite the fact that I can already tell they cast more for 20 Years After than for The 3 Musketeers. But I'm willing to pretend there are no good, young actors in France (because there's no other way to explain these casting choices) for the sake of my own sanity. The rest of my babbling and movie spoilers will be below the cut!

I see we start the movie in 1627, which already makes me laugh 🤣. The book famously starts in 1625 and then they time skip a year and a half into the future because I guess Dumas remembered that the war starts in 1627. Alex was the king of inexplicable time skips and I see the movie has chosen to stick to history rather than literary canon 👌🏻.

Everything is cold, dark, and wet. I have no idea what's going on, or who this blond woman is, or why d'Artagnan is coming back from the dead. But I'm always in favor of immortal abominations 😈.

It does entertain me that Eric Ruf, who played Aramis in an earlier French adaptation, plays Richelieu in this one. Nice touch.

LOL d'Artagnan gate crashing the musketeer headquarters all "I'm not Soviet, the French do not stand in line!" Anyways, he's authentically obnoxious, which I like, although clearly also 20 years too old.

I feel like this is an AU that takes place before they invented soap and also dyes, which is hilarious because if they're going for historical accuracy, this is just what the plebs think looks "authentic". Why are these men all so dirty and old? At least they make fun of Athos being a thousand years old in the movie, but why is Jussac also so ancient? And still serving in the guards? Life expectancy back then was like 25, but surely no one would be serving in the army past the age of 50, which was like Ancient for the 1600s, even among nobility.

I must laugh at the fact that Athos straight up introduces himself to d'Artagnan as Athos de Sillegue, le comte de La Fère. So, I see we are just going to go there 🤭🤭🤭. This changes his story arc completely though, stay tuned for my whinging. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Absolutely incredible, legendary , A++, 11000/10: bisexual Porthos waking up in bed with a lady and a dude after a night of debauchery! Chef's fucking kiss! I forgive the fact that there are no young people in France.

Aramis, so far is very Murder Kitten. I do wish he'd wash his face more and do something about his guyliner (I feel like he should have just committed to MORE MAKEUP frankly because the guyliner alone is odd), but c'est la vie, I guess.

Plus one point for Athos getting wrongly arrested, minus twenty points for making Athos a Protestant WTF? And in what world would a nobleman of Athos' lineage get sentenced to death for stabbing an unknown woman? This is all so silly! (I do have to give Milady points for just like fucking with him so fantastically. Plus one revenge point to Milady.)

Aramis torturing a guy to save Athos is honestly 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 11/10 Murder Kitten, automatic plus one point.

This is all incredibly Dramatique, as much as it strains credulity. I love it when modern directors decide that they can write better "action" than Dumas himself. I'm just sitting here screaming "Why would you have that conversation where anyone can hear you!" Minus one point.

I must say Constance and d'Artagnan have a much more believable romance here than in the book. Plus 5 non-creeper points.

(Please I can't stop looking at how old all these Musketeers are 😅😅😅)

Okay so they've also given Athos a BROTHER. Who is part of a Protestant conspiracy. This is all so fucking crazy, I don't even know what to say. Am I watching the musketeers or La Reine Margot? 🤔

Incidentally, the King also gets a brother! Everyone gets a brother! J/K at least the King really did have a historical brother. Athos just gets fucked with in this movie a lot. Automatic minus one point for unnecessary siblings.

WHY must you all insist on having these super SECRET conversations in the middle of a public square where literally anyone can hear you? Minus one dumbass point.

And now d'Artagnan must go to England.... Alone? Because it's more heroic this way? Ambushed by ghost squirrels in the woods? Oh no, that's just Athos, lurking in the woods, as one does. "All misery comes from love." Thanks, Old Man Lush.

This revisionist tale of Milady's past is all very convenient but I FUCKING HATE IT every single time they try to do this in modern adaptations. Let Milady Be Evil 2023! But I see that you will not. Listen, it's not "feminist" to turn the villain into the victim. I'm so tired. 🤦🏻‍♀️ These misguided attempts at feminism really do not do her any favors, she has a lot more agency as simply the Really Bad Girl who just wanted money and power. Minus 5 points for not letting Milady have any fun and minus another 10 points for giving her an abusive ex-husband!

As for Athos, IMO it's always much more compelling to let him be the guy who tried to kill his beloved wife for betraying him, than to make him the spineless man who turns her over to the authorities for Handwavium. Yes, it's pretty fucked up. But it's much more humanizing and makes him a darker, more interesting character. And I will always maintain that.

(This movie is so fucking dark, all the scenes take place at night or in some cthonic tunnels or prisons ffs have mercy on my eyes!)

Oh dear, here we go again. Milady taking a Dramatique - and completely unnecessary - dive off a cliff. Only this time, we know she doesn't die because.... She can swim? And definitely will not have all her bones broken by that 1000 ft fall. Minus 20 points for lazy writing.

(My God, everyone is so dirty, you would think they never did their laundry in France 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Ironically, the only well lit scene takes place in what looks like the Notre Dame which is just very silly as that place is a sepulcher.

(Once again, we are advancing the plot by having super secret conversations conducted in the middle of the palace with an open door where anyone can see and hear you plotting 🤦🏻‍♀️ Minus one petty point.)

Okay, so poor Constance has been kidnapped, and our young hero (who is already a Lieutenant because he and his pals conveniently saved the King's life in a plot twist that was very necessary in other to return Athos to favor in this version) lies unconscious in the streets. They probably didn't even try to kill him this time because they know he's immortal. And speaking of people who just won't die, in a mid-credits scene, it is confirmed that Milady is indeed, very much Not Dead Yet. Surprise! The scene is now set for war in The Three Musketeers: Part 2: Milady.

In summary:

I tallied up my totally random points and ended up with a score of -51, which is Not Good, my friends.

Okay, so I've seen much worse? It's better than Atrocity in 3D, for example, which was just barely watchable as a film and as an adaptation. But they changed so much about the plot and some of the main characters, that it doesn't really feel true to the spirit of the book at this point, which is my main criteria for measuring whether an adaptation is successful. And the main reasons for that are because it's much darker and grittier and less fun than the novel. Which - Quelle domage!

I know that as an unrepentant Athos fangirl, I tend to be biased, so I was trying to be on guard (heheh get it?) for my own biases while watching this. But it's really difficult when Ya Boy is such an integral part of the novel as well as this particular adaptation. And so I must regrettably come back to what a shame it is that they've cast a 60 year old Athos (Vincent Cassel is 57 and he's a fabulous actor whom I've loved in many of his worlks), and I feel like they had to rewrite his character to be more age appropriate and less of the drunken asshole he is in Dumas' first d'Artagnan book. But that's the asshole I fell in love with, and will stan forever. Without him going around beating his servant, indulging his gambling addiction, and being a sarcastic pain in everyone's ass, it's just a completely different story.

Pros:

Hot Eva Green!

bisexual Porthos!

d'Artagnan is given a much less creepy love story with Constance (and I assume he will also not be nonconning Milady in this adaptation)

The King and Queen are much more humanized and sympathetic here.

Cons:

Visually really drab, everything is brown, everyone is dirty.

Very little humor unlike in the novel and some other adaptations.

EVERYONE IS WAY TOO OLD, which changes the feeling of the story significantly, and IMO for the worse, because these people are just not allowed to have fun, and subsequently, neither is the audience.

I will still absolutely be here for Part 2 because I am a masochist!

Grade: B- as a piece of art, but a C as an adaptation of the Dumas classic.

[christinesficrecs]

Hii I love your fic recs!! Can you recommend me some sterek fics with soft derek? Mostly canon or canon complient ? But alternate universe is fine too.

Hii can you please recommend me some soft derek/ maybe feminine derek fics. I just really want to read some soft derek fics.

Let me just say, I mostly had no idea where to go with this. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Also, I did restrain myself from making this nothing but Derek + kittens fics. It was really hard though. 🥰

Kintsugi by artemis69 | 7.8K

Derek is too big, and strong, and a werewolf. He knows perfectly well what men are and aren’t allowed to be.

Stiles would beg to differ.

In which there are pretty boys, flowers, panties, glitter, and Stiles gives a heartfelt fuck you to the concept of toxic masculinity.

Kittens Can Happen to Anyone by tsukinofaerii | 3.8K

When Stiles shows up at Derek's door with a box of orphaned kittens, Derek has no idea what he's getting into. With the cats, either.

I'm Setting the Standard for Living a Dream by skoosiepants | 2.9K

Derek is scowling at the camera, Henley unbuttoned. He looks sleep-mussed and unamused and there are two fuzzy balls of floof cradled in his arms. One is pawing at Derek’s mouth, the other is asleep in the curve of his elbow. Both are stripy orange and fluffy-furred with pink noses and pink beans, they are so super cute it makes Stiles’s eyes water a little.

five times Derek and Stiles weren't actually boyfriends (and one time they were) by HalfFizzbin | 2.8K

In which Derek and Stiles are essentially a married couple. Except they're not actually dating.

i wait for you like a lonely house by bleep0bleep | 4.5K

Derek isn’t sure why he buys the house. He doesn’t need the space, that much is certain. While it’s not as big as the one Derek grew up in, something about the cheerful yellow paint and the wide staircase (with banisters wide enough for children to slide down) draws him in.

Wait by cutloosemcgoose | 23.4K | Explicit

Sitting on his couch, staring at the wall, it feels like Derek is watching his whole, miserable, lonely life flash before his eyes. He’s twenty four and he’s alone. No family, no friends, no real pack. He’s six days away from spending one of the most family-oriented holidays of the year trying to avoid any human interaction. If anyone could see him right now, they would tell him he looks pathetic. If Laura could see him right now, she would probably beat the crap of him and then tell him he’s a loser.

Babcia Knows Best by thepsychicclam | 11.8K

Stiles takes his grandmother to bingo every Thursday. Now there's a new guy calling out the numbers, and his grandmother has decided to set them up.

Somebody That I Used to Know by PercyByssheShelley | 10.3K | Mature

Stiles and Derek have been together for months.

The trouble is, they weren't yesterday.

36 Questions by Leslie_Knope | 8K

“So I’m doing my senior psych thesis on friendships,” Erica says, not-so-accidentally elbowing Derek in the ribs as she turns to face Stiles. “How they develop, how intimacy is fostered, stuff like that.”

“That’s cool,” Stiles says agreeably. “What’s our part?”

“Well, I can’t really tell you the point because that would influence the results. But it’s a set of 36 questions that you have to ask each other.”

“Just the two of us?” Derek chimes in, finally, and Stiles sighs.

“Okay, dude,” he says, making a face, “could you try not to look quite so offended? Like, my ego’s pretty strong, but come on, man.”

Not Quite Lost (Not Quite Found) by alocalband | 25K | Explicit

A year after the nogitsune is defeated, Derek is living a quiet life in the mountains above a small town in Colorado.

Then Stiles shows up.

Maybe Someday (I'll Be Home For Next Year) by ofherlionheart | 16.3K

Derek Hale meets a Mabel Stilinski while living in New York. He learns that she has a grandson. There are miscommunications, scarves, stealth-matchmaking plans, and cookies. Many, many cookies.

[jelliouu]

I’ve been holding myself back. I just came to the realization that I’ve gone through dozens of guided meditations over the years and not had any of them work for me (well some did with symptoms but I haven’t shifted yet!) and just realized why that might be is because I purposely look for the ones that have people saying they shifted with it.

But here’s the thing… they aren’t me. And subliminals don’t make you shift, I DO. So I shouldn’t be limiting myself to subliminals that others have shifted with, 🤦🏻‍♀️ feeling so silly with this realization.

Maybe I’ll actually get somewhere now 😭