#why did this take me like 4 hours to do
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how did saint-just get into the military/ what were his big accomplishments
MILITARY TWINK POSTING TIME
saint - just was actually involved in the military well before he was a représentant en mission ( representative on mission ) during the terror
early 1790 saw the start of his military career , with the revolution picking up the pace the traditional structure of blérancourt ( saint - just ' s home town ) , of which the notary gellé previously had unquestionable power , was reformed by saint - just ' s mates
to me , this is Crazy since saint - just wanted to marry thérèse Gellé . BUT shit happened and by 1786 thérèse had been married off to another notary . then The Silver thing happened . i ' m not gonna go into them any more , but you can read about thérèse + saint - just here
so . saint - just and the lads were like Man fuck the gellés ( which , mind you , saint - just had been trying to do ) except not really and blérancourt held its first open municipal elections ! shout out to the national constituent assembly :3
thanks to the new electoral structure , saint - just ' s friends were able to assume power instead of the gellés . examples of some of the positions they were in were mayor , secretary , head of local national guard , etc
his brother - in - law being the head of the guard is actually what started saint - just ' s military career ! he was only 23 when all of this happened , so he was unable to assume the same positions as his friends . However , since the head of the guard was who he was , he let saint - just join the guard ! yippee !
the discipline he ' s famous for was evident even in these early months , and due to this he quickly became commanding officer with the rank of lieutenant-colonel :3
throughout his time as commanding officer , there ' s this one thing i think is Crazy which is the story about the burning anti - revolutionary pamphlets at a local meeting . like . Girl . we get it you ' re into the revolution ??? you don ' t have to set pamphlets THAT YOU ARE HOLDING . IN YOUR HAND . ON FIRE ??? TO DISPLAY YOUR DEDICATION ??? LIKE ??? average teenage girl behaviour honestly . that would have hurt though like , as someone who has burnt the back of both their hands off , yowch
unrelated to military affairs , but , whilst commanding officer he also wrote L ’ Esprit de la Revolution et de la constitution de France ( which can be read here ( fr ) ) + wrote to robespierre ( which can be read here ) for the first time
due to his position in the guard being because of his want to participate in the revolution + his revolutionary texts , he was elected to join the national assembly as a deputy in 1792
BUT ! it does not end there
10 october 1793 as well as the whole " government would be revolutionary until peace " thing , saint - just ' s proposal that deputies from the convention should directly oversee all military efforts was approved
these deputies were called représentant en mission and sent to designated areas to maintain law and order , oversee conscription , monitor local military command , etc . one of the most critical areas was Alsace , who ' s army of the rhine was collapsing . womp womp . so saint - just and le
were sent to alsace to fix shit up
which they did do ! as i mentioned , saint - just was famous for his discipline . this discipline was again evident in this mission . thanks to the law of 14 frimaire , représentants en mission were granted the freedom to impose discipline how they chose . by the way , by discipline i MEAN DISCIPLINE . girl dismissed officers left and right . and executed via firing squad MORE officers + at least one general . Girl . GIRL
whilst enemies of the revolution were repressed by saint - just no matter if they were soldier or civilian , he did Not agree with the mass executions ordered by some of the other représentants en mission ( cough cough fouché in lyon . cough cough fréron in toulon )
he also , noticing the majority of the army being barefoot , ordered 10 000 pairs of shoes to be confiscated from aristocrats in Strasbourg , which was a nearby city , to be redistributed to soldiers . Strasbourg instead sent 17 000 pairs of shoes + 21 000 pairs of shirts to the army
speaking of Strasbourg , i do believe saint - just got Eulogius Schneider arrested + executed
~ december 1793 the army of the rhine was reformed so saint - just briefly returned to paris , where his success was celebrated . saint - just , of course , did not do all this by himself . it was a group effort between both him and le bas . i do not know much on le bas ' own military accomplishments though :[ BUT i do know that le bas wrote to robespierre on behalf of them both whilst they were in alsace . something something " Saint - Just doesn ' t have time to write to you . He gives you his compliments " saint - just please make time for your girlfriend he misses you
~ january 1794 saint - just was sent back to the front lines , this time to belgium with the army of the north --- who were experiencing the same issues as the army of the rhine
saint - just began to repeat what he had done in alsace , however less than a month in he was recalled to paris by robespierre
and now i interrupt this tumblr post to show you a clip from saint - just et la forces des choses that rots and rotates in my brain 25 / 8
anyways
~ april - june 1794 he was sent back to belgium to , again , do what he had done previously with the armies of the rhine + the north . he contributed to the victory of the battle of fleurus , ordering any retreating soldiers to be shot
saint - just also intimidated Reynac into surrendering charleroi . " I don ' t want this piece of paper ( i . e . Reynac ' s note with proposed terms of surrender ) , I want the place itself " girl calm down . the french weren ' t even ready to assault charleroi , it would have taken at least another eight days , so saint - just was bluffing . BUT . it worked lol ; reynac surrendered charleroi unconditionally
the victory of fleurus was saint - just ' s last military affair . once he returned to paris , his success was once again celebrated --- however , the political side of things was declining . something something the great terror something something thermidor . womp womp
which is Crazy because saint - just ' s victory of fleurus was a major trigger for thermidor . the committee of public safety was being held together because of the threats that saint - just had now dealt with . there was , obviously , a lot more to it than that but that Definitely was Something
girls when their success leads to their failure
#frev#resources#ask#saint - just#robespierre#briefly#le bas#why did this take me like 4 hours to do#keep asks like this coming though#i looove doing these sorts of posts
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the black lake🫶
#love thinking of them just spending sweet moments like this🥹#ok so these were super fast#but the second one especially…like two minute scribble bahahahahahaha#I just had a few more min before sun set after the first and I wanted a continuation😇#Im just pretty exhausted and have no mental energy left bc I did my first tattoo today#and in true myokk style…I was too ambitious and it ended up taking me almost 4 hours🫠🫠🫠#(like it worked out in the end and looked amazing but at the same time WHY DIDNT I DO SOMETHING SIMPLE😤)#tomorrow I’ll work on some more paintings tho bc the eloise one was really fun🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶#and like I said I have a BAJILLION IDEAS !!!!!!!!!!#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow fanart#hogwarts legacy sebastian#sebastian sallow x mc
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Song: Hourglass by Set it Off
*Ringing bell* ANGST HERE COME GET YOUR ANGST
So, um. I had the idea of the last audio but no other ideas. So this was 90% done on the fly ngl. I still like it. I wasn't totally happy with the song choice when I landed on it but it. It works.
Anyway someone tell my brain to take a goddamn break from editing oh my gosh (<- has more angst planned already)
#can't believe it took me this long to think to use DSMP audio for angst#how did it take me that long#also screwed with a few video/audio settings#mostly audio#I think it turned out alright#rottmnt edit#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rottmnt raph#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt angst#alright time to do literally anything else brain please#I also got this idea at 4 IN THE FUCKING MORNING#AFTER spending like 6 hours on a different edit#brain please why are you like this
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well, you can see it!
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#pink space#practicing... [melts away]#no i did not reference the shading in the actual ref. 'why not' dude i actually do not know lmaoo - it's pretty lazy but that's#practice babyyyy :33#//it's also 4 a.m. rn isn't that neat hghfsh#i fell asleep at like 7 or 8 and then got woken up around 10 or 11 so i guess i just don't sleep anymore lolll#ay but i finished this so that's :D !#i just need a full front ref for this thing and i KNOW i can do this i knowww itttt hbhhfsv#glammed her up because she deserves it. look at her :33#this Did take me like 2 hours i am not great at details hfhhfhsv#no i'm not going to use half of them (lord i hope not) but it was nice anyway :D#it's nice both turning off my brain but also having to use it to full capacity to be sure i'm not missing like an entire wheel before i#start colouring Lmaooo <3#this Was fun though and i like how it's turned out! maybe i'll do more vehicle studies at some point. did one for a 67 pontiac the other da#and that was fun :D those old boxy cars are sooo nice to draw hfsh#//anyway. [jiggles away into the fog]
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Overhead, the stars shone clear and bright, and though Mala had only once appeared to him at dawn, on the foothills across this very city, though she might be little more than a strange, mighty being from another world, he offered up a prayer anyway.
Then, he had begged Mala to protect Aelin from Maeve when they entered Doranelle, to give her strength and guidance, and to let her walk out alive. Then, he had begged Mala to let him remain with Aelin, the woman he loved. The goddess had been little more than a sunbeam in the rising dawn, and yet he had felt her smile at him.
Tonight, with only the cold fire of the stars for company, he begged her once more.
A curl of wind sent his prayer drifting to those stars, to the waxing moon silvering the camp, the river, the mountains.
He had killed his way across the world; he had gone to war and back more times than he cared to remember. And despite it all, despite the rage and despair and ice he'd wrapped around his heart, he'd still found Aelin. Every horizon he'd gazed toward, unable and unwilling to rest during those centuries, every mountain and ocean he'd seen and wondered what lay beyond... It had been her. It had been Aelin, the silent call of the mating bond driving him, even when he could not feel it.
They'd walked this dark path together back to the light. He would not let the road end here.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#Essar#Mala#more starry quotes#lord of the north#I will find you#no spoilers pls 1st read to read along with me pt 4 of 4 perspectives more notes/quotes/reacts in tags; spoilers in both post & tags#They would not all go in all go out. — he won’t leave without Aelin… and probably Cairn dead#Ready to unleash hell when he sent a flare of his magic diverting soldiers to their side while Rowan made his run for Aelin.#She'd protested but even Gavriel had told her that she was mortal. Untrained. And what she'd done today… Rowan didn’t have the words#thank you for Elide appreciation day#He trusted Essar. She'd never liked Maeve had outright said she did not serve her with any willingness or pride.#But these last few hours before dawn when so many things could go wrong...#the full circle of him praying to Mala in HoF and then mentioning it in QoS and EoS and now here in KoA😭#She had to be there. Aelin had to be there.#If they had come so close but wound up being the very thing that had caused Maeve to take Aelin away AGAIN#The bond within him lay dark and slumbering. No indication of her proximity. — Maeve doing that too AGH I HATE HER SO MUCH#Essar had no idea that Aelin was being kept here until Elide informed her. How many others hadn't known? How well had Maeve hidden her?#— maybe that means there’s some good face on their side who might help if they know or learn?#ah rowaelins love language of revenge and compartmentalizing#Overhead the stars shone clear and bright and though Mala had only once appeared to him at dawn on the foothills across this very city#though she might be little more than a strange mighty being from another world he offered up a prayer anyway.#his magic sending a prayer to the northern stars for dawn to stay with the woman he loves — even back then😭#Tonight with only the cold fire of the stars for company he begged her once more.#HE SAYS COLD FIRE BECAUSE ITS NOT HIS FIREHEART😭 and the the darkness back to the light — IT WILL NOT END HERE WE WONT LET IT HE WONT LET IT#and the fact he knew he loved her back then😭 and all those centuries before when he didn’t know why😭😭😭
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Posting this by itself because :) I just feel like he should have gotten to wear the mech pilot suit at least once..
(my AU black version and the og green)
#Legend of Korra#Baatar Jr.#LoK#WIP#[ since this is from something silly I wanted to post this bit because he is serving very cunty#even if you know he's talking about accidentally ingesting caustic chemicals lol#this was def self indulgent but also why couldn't he have worn the suit at least once sobs#we had one chance#I don't actually think he uses the mech suit hardly ever even though he has his own personal one#but on rare occasions he does and gets in this outfit and Kuvira are you okay? Are you good? Has anyone checked on her?#I feel like this outfit is what causes her to take a serious sanity hit LOL#she just drags him away by the hood and no one sees them again for like 4 hours#or she's just like “You know what I think he could use my help :)” and proceeds to be everything but helpful#idk how anything in this regime gets done I swear#the most Baatar ever used the mech suits was when they were first being built#idk dude I love a man in a working uniform sobs#I knew someone would recognize the mech pilot suit hehe that made me smile because yeah :)))#it felt good to draw Baatar again sobs I love him so much I've missed him#I do kinda wish this sketch was cleaner but I wanted to at least post it now in case I never did lol#I should to a proper illust of him in the pilot suit one day just for the pure self indulgence of it all#give myself a lill treat you know? ]#Neon Ocean Art
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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It's actually really funny how it is bc despite being an insane person with weird kinks whenever I see someone with kinks I DON'T share I'm instantly thrown off by it. Which is comedic to me bc you'd expect the freak to inherently Understand other freaks but no unfortunately that's not how it works necessarily.
#luly talks#i am way more open to shit when explained to me tho#like usually I'm outright Neutral about this like ok sure.#but there's things that outright are so confusing to me they turn me off#like i saw some mommy rp blog and she was just... acting like a mother#and it's like. super sweet of course! but... not turning me on? at all??#like i don't get why you'd want a 2 in 1 deal for a mother and a gf can't you just get the two things per separate?#and this is coming from a man with severe mommy issues too! I'm a man who lost 3 mother figures (maybe 4 even. prob more)#yet i just don't get it? like. i don't know.#like i dont get it when it's so Genuine ykwim? like sexy mommy daddy age gap shit i do get. i love older people carnally.#but when it is a real intention to have this person fulfill the gap your parents left (I'd have said hole goddamn it that'd have been funnie#r) it's like. do. do you know how hard this can backfire? like i feel it's only more harmful. like idk#like i am no one to say it i am as explicitly stated a certified freak but i really think some people should stop fucking and take an hour#off to go to therapy. just a thought.#like i have my psychological issues mirror into my kinks too I've thought of this deeply (not the cannibalism that's simply me being hungry#although i did make a huge post about hunger but i DIGRESS) but i feel it's different#maybe it's bc im autistic and aro Who Knows maybe this is about intricate social and romantic rituals i just dont get in general
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If decarabian was a gamer he would have the most decked out setup imaginable. 2000+ dollar custom keyboard where nearly everything but the internal components are made of solid gold. Top-of-the-line pc entirely encased in various ornately decorated gemstones. He would have at least five monitors (bonus points if they also double as surveillance monitors.) His gaming chair would in fact be a literal throne. At times he thinks that video game logic must surely apply to real life mortal human logic as well and vastly overestimates how durable most humans are.
Someone save her
#carmendeiact2whenplz#gamer decarabian theory#he's got wheatly po rtal 2 energy except he's not an idiot he's just overconfident in himself and his method of ruling and refuses criticim#ya know i figured i'd end up with a human decarabian design eventually but. I did not. expect it to be for Out of Touch Gamer Decarabian#anyway he's like okay humans need food and washrooms and sleep now if I set up five connecting houses into a common room#and according to the sims the human need decay at this rate and replenish at this rate#with ten people three beds will be enough they can take turns sleeping for eight hours exactly at these scheduled times#meanwhile the humans are going 'wtf why do I sleep at 12-8 my partner at 8-4 and my kid at 4-12 screw this'#decarabian watching it happen going 'No Thou Must this setup maximizes human abilities while minimizing human needs'#'cool consider my need to have a bit of fun and whimsy in my life care to schedule that into my life and my room'#'..........you don't need music fun songs are banned everything's working as planned there's no need for rebellion'#'of course my God there's no birds or freedom or even life outside your wind barrier we could want nothing more than our safe little cage'#'Exactly you get it see the people love me good job me now back to my sims'#genshin talk
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home from work
#if I speak…#one of the girls walked out yesterday#the best worker we have is on the verge of blowing up on this bitch’s leaders bc since he can do everything quick and efficiently already#they’re putting 3 to 4 ppl’s workloads on him to see how far they can extend his worth and then they’re over his shoulder the whole time#micromanaging him so today he almost lost it and was literally walking around mumbling about his disrespectful they all are (facts)#and how if they don’t think he’s doing it right then they can do it and I know for a fact one of the ladies heard him#bc he wasn’t even trying to hide it at this point and like this dude is cool he has a lot of patience and helps out any way he can#so if HE’S on the brink of snapping then the rest of us don’t stand a chance LMFAO#anyways today was a fucking mess those leaders know nothing about our store yet so they have us making less than what we need until we need#it so we get behind constantly and they made prep a disaster bc again they think they can just prep a bunch of stuff in the morning#and it’ll last the whole day and yes that works in theory but the reality of the situation is every day is different and today#we sold double what we did yesterday so they had to move me to prep to fix their mistakes bc we were running out of stuff 4 hours in lmfao#and I’m the only one left who knows how to do everything on prep bc the other girls had never done it before#we’re supposed to prep 20 mac n cheese trays in the morning for the whole day#we open lunch at 10:30 tell me why I go into the cooler at 12 put more in the oven and there’s only 5 left#it’s been less than 2 HOURS and you’re already running out of macs which means those idiots prepped barely anything just to try and save mo#*money to cut down waste but that gag if you’re losing money bc now you’re short on everything and customers are leaving bc they’re having#to wait a long time for their food#and macs take 40 minutes to cool LMFAO#I get over there they’re out of parfaits they’re out of fruit cups they’re out of kale salads the front is coming in and having to take#stuff as I make it bc they keep getting orders and it’s all just a fucking mess#I have to make a custom wrap and what happens?? those morons didn’t pull the flatbreads out of the freezer like they’re supposed to every#night so now we have no flatbread and I had to run back there and put them in the warming drawer to defrost and we lost an order bc I had#nothing to make the wraps with <3#I go back there to get more cold chicken SPOILER ALERT they didn’t have anyone make any this morning so now there’s no chicken for the wrap#and salad and it has to be grilled and then chilled for 2 FUCKING HOURS before it can be used#they’re a fucking disaster like 😭#was the store perfect before?? ofc not but it ran quickly and efficiently as it should and now it’s literally just a mess#this bitch hasn’t even owned it for a full week yet and has already fucked it all up#womp womp!!!!!!
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Do you think if I wish hard enough my mom will get electrocuted by a string of Christmas lights and just go up in a cloud of smoke. It’d be a Christmas miracle
#I’m not even DOWN THERE YET and I want to fucking KILL HER#I have to work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. I live four hours away from my family#I told her this MANY TIMES I said I’ll drive down after work on Christmas Eve be there Christmas morning but I need to leave by 3-4 to get#home at a reasonable hour so I can have time to unpack/catch up on a couple days of chores/get plenty of sleep#she called me last night and told me she didn’t schedule Christmas stuff until SIX PM#and when I said why tf did you do that I’m not staying that late#she got mad and upset and was like ‘it’s the only time everyone is free :(‘#BUT THEN proceeded to tell me we were having lunch with her HUSBAND’S family at noon#(ppl I am not close with never have been literally don’t talk to)#and everyone I know is like ‘just leave when you said you were going to anyways’#and like yeah I could but then my family is gonna be ENRAGED that I didn’t do Christmas stuff with them#and they’re like ‘well explain that your mom didnt listen to when you said you needed to leave’#but the thing is. no matter what. they’re going to take her side#I should sacrifice my time and comfort to spend time with them because they’re FAMILY#never mind that literally not a SINGLE ONE OF THEM has EVER come up to visit me#IM always expected to drive down there. but that sacrifice doesn’t count it’s not good enough#but if I stay that late I won’t be getting home until AT LEAST midnight or later#cuz my family has no fucking concept of time so if it starts at six that means it doesn’t ACTUALLY start until 7 so most of them might be#there by 8 so I’ll be expected to stay until at least 10 to sufficiently catch up with all of them#I’m going to scream I’m going to cry#if I leave early I’m the awful ungrateful terrible bitch who never comes to see any of them#but none of them could adjust their days by just a few hours to see me before I needed to leave#FOR MY FUCKING JOB !!!!!!!! SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY CONTROL#and like the thing is. my piece of shit manipulative bitch mother#I KNOW she did this on purpose#I know she didn’t plan this until six to FORCE me to stay longer because she was mad I wasn’t staying long#(again… because of work… something I can’t control)#so she’s orchestrated this to put me in this position#where I have to suck it up and stay and be exhausted and have tired migraines for a week cuz I get only a couple hours of sleep and then#or leave and make everyone pissed. I hate her so FUCKING much
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prompt: personify this fucking flower v
#TKO_art#she actually said draw a character design for this chrysantheMUM#oops#I didn't do that#I was going to do the whole 9 miles#with the whole T-posing bit and clothes#but this took me like#4 hours#which honestly is pretty good cuz most of the time when i take 4 hrs to do somethign I hate the end result#and she's pretty chill#i'm chilling wiht her#i'm gnawing on her collarbones#don't ask me how hair phsyics works i don't fucking know#still trying to figure that out#i make that shit up#really just like the stems on her neck#which took me 10 minutes to do#GOD WHY IS EVERYTHIGN SO DIFFICULT#anyway my bones started vibrating 2 hours into this piece so fuck you exhaustion#she did have ears but I said fuck it we ball#night night pookies#kiss kiss for all#NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT#kept saying I hate how this is rendered but if I keep leaving pieces unfinished i'll never get better so i'm pretty happy with how this#turned out#so yeah now im going to bed#RAAAAAA
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HI HI MAC. I JUST WATCHED THE NEW GEMINI VIDEO (was going 2 watch it this morning but i forgor 💀) HOLYYYY SHIT i am so creeped out EAUGH it was so good. creepy faces fuck me up AUGHHH. many thoughts head full. also i apparently love drawing characters as teru vash plush bc i started drawing teru vash and then realized oh iam just. drawing patton. so then i drew el woowoo 2 keep him company!! holds out my hands and places these guys in ur palm <3
OH FUCK LITTLE GUYS...... ohbtheyre so perfect. squeezing them like stress balls. <3333
UGH THE GEMINI HOME VIDEO. GOD. I KNOW. i rewatched it like 3 times this morning. that bit after it says the deal is broken with the body that gets progressively more shriveled up made me feel soooo fucking crawly. also the comeback of the jack dialogue. fuck yes. jack do you see me... i have become something else... im still in here dont leave me you bastards..... god that bit was so cool. the face jn the window at the end was what absolutely broke me last night tho like holy fuck thay shit gets me so bad
#patton doing the little.... dog peace sign pose. hell yes#i want to shove patton in vash in the same room for like 3 hours and see what happens . theyd fucking break down i think#BACK TO GHE THO LIKE. UGHRGGHH. THE MOUTH MOVING. THE SILENCE. IT FUCKS ME UP#reminded me of the bit a few episodes ago where they find the deep root disease victim in their house and its just like.#an exposed nervous system sitting in a chair. and they get closer and the eye moves.#like thays the kind of shit that freezes me to my BONES. makes all the blood drain out of my face. u know. its so freaky#ITS THE SAME REASON WHY AMIGARA FAULT GETS ME SO BAD. SMTH THAT USED TO BE HUMAN SHAPED GETTING ALL STRETCHED OUT AND CONTORTED AND WEIRD.#FUCKED UP#I LOVE IT#ghe is soooo fucking good dude#asks#friends!!!#anachronistic-falsehood#hows ur night whiskey i hope ur night is good. i love ur art so much its sooo cute#im like. dying for my vash plushie to come in the mail. i wanna caryy him around in my comfot backpack.#i wanna take him on vacation with me and show him the ocean.#theyre supposed 2 be like. either manufactured or shipped in june right????????#it would b a MIRACLE if vash plushie showed up before my birthday. epic present 4 me#we ordered from the same website ri ght???? did u get urs from meccha japan.#i dont remember what the shipping details said and i cannot find them without signing in or making an account smh#anyway. i am rabling. i want vash plushie#hi
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#I have thoughts about the new tour yet I am not sure if I should share (given why I do so in tags)#I am not surprised to see denmark is absent#I am a bit surprised to see no scandinavian country AT ALL#not surprised to see germany and the uk have most dates (that's sadly something I've seen a lot from bands/artists I like)#a little befundled with the route he has scheduled for both germany and the uk dates#glad to see other countries like switzerland france and the netherlands get their debut#not surprised it is in october since that seems to be around the same time for his europe antics last year as well#all this said I am a bit conflicted what to do myself#I'd like to go to gigs on this tour#yet I've already run out of the country four times these past upcoming five months (three times to finland)#since it is quite expensive and maybe not something I will have time for given I hopefully get an internship in august#with that in mind I feel like I should probably go for only a few dates#and yet last time I felt very much like I was missing out and overlooked because I didn't go to “more than two shows”#and here is where I feel like my thoughts are probably not great#i was thinking about maybe going for hamburg as first priority since it is the closest (4 hours in train)#then have frankfurt and munich as second priorities making it a little mini tour#I am not sure if I'd physically and mentally be able to do more than three gigs in a row#yet if I am I sort of want to go to zurich too because I've never been there#two days to decide is not very long#I feel very stressed tbh#and I hope noone will take this in any wrong way#please I really dont want to feel shit again#I know my last concert related take was on the fence#(even though as it turned out the venue did worse than me in that regard)#but this one is really just me thinking about what would be the smartest plan#other possible options would be to go for zurich since it is in a weekend (sunday) and then - depending on whether or not I have work#either go home or follow jere to amsterdam (then maybe paris and brussels)#another option is berlin then hamburg and then to home from there (so two shows)#or london and bristol since its the weekend (maybe manchester as well if it is not far - so up to three shows)#the latter I am a bit concerned about since being trans in the uk is not great atm
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HR PERSON ANSWER ME I WASTED A DAY WAITING FOR YOUE CALL
#anything else!!! I could’ve done anything else than hover anxiously around my computer#why was I asked to be available for upwards of 5 hours if I’m not even gonna get a courtesy note#saying the bare minimum ‘reschedule?’ god forbid I ask you to respect my time and have empathy for fellow humans#you’re holding my life in your hands and you can’t be bothered to remember it? cmon dude#I want to either be happy or be miserable and move on but I can’t do either bc of what I hope to be a lapse in time awareness#and what I worry is some sort of test that I’m managing to fail by wanting to know my fate at this company#I sent an email AND a phone message this time. god willing we cram in a call today. hellish to have it move to Monday.#why did I waste the precious hours of my singular life bc you didn’t feel like emailing me back#mad about it. Fuming about it. I will not be normal about this person in the future bc of this incident#I’m gonna go eat something at 4:30 bc that’s the latest I said I could take calls#and if I get a call after that I’m gonna [redacted]
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the eternal question: is scheduling w friends as an adult That Hard or am I just bad at it
#4 different people have left me on read today; 1 cancelled our plans 4 hours before we were due to meet#I've been sitting home alone for 2 days going insane. looking forward to One (1) coffee date & that fell through#idk why I'm taking it so hard this time I'm usually fine!! but I find myself wishing I didn't have the day off I wish I did have work :(#like it's tiring yeah but it beats sitting here not knowing what to do w myself#& I'm working all weekend & only leaving the house to see the doctor. oh joy#I've been productive ironing writing fixing the car. that's not the problem#I had 4 social plans this month. that's it#that's like seeing each friend once a month!! I can't keep this up!!#is this the norm for adulthood? :(#& on one level I don't want to bother people or be clingy#but on another level I'm baffled that they don't get lonely too#the news has not shut up abt the Loneliness Epidemic since 2021#but if it's true why do so many people take so long to reply when I reach out? if they reply at all#I'm not going anywhere w this. idk#just one of those days#everything so fuck everybody suck :(#boomers got it right w the whole showing up unannounced at people's houses for a social call with a pound cake#now I have to go through 5 layers of bureaucratic bullshit to see a friend#assuming they don't cancel the day of ofc (((((:#I just wanna be like hello knock knock I am here. tell me abt yr life today & listen to mine & eat this cake#& the worst is when people are like 'I'm cancelling bc I'm tired xx'#OK A) u knew we had these plans for two weeks#but B) I'm tired too! I still love u ur still my friend! let us be tired together!#'I won't be social today I'm tired' my love we could watch movies in silence we could knit we could ball yr socks. idc#'I have to do the big shop today sorry' so do I!!! let us do the groceries together!!!#every time I've pushed someone to come out when they felt depressed or to let me accompany them when they were doing chores#they were like u know what I'm so glad u did this. thank u. this is way better than how I had planned this night to go#& I'm like any time!! I love u!!#& then it just happens all over again next time oh sorry I'm cancelling I'm busy I'm tired#like did u forget what a nice time we had last time? what changed? :(
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