#why did bdubs say he would kill and die for etho

[peskyvinot]

it's still so funny to me that I came into hermitcraft with no shipping intentions, left the phase of shipping cubitos in the past I thought. will touch the fanficion only for my cartoons I thought. and then I became friends with an ethubs enjoyer and vibed with it (very much). and then I joined hermitblr.

and I STILL wasn't shipping anyone.

and then there's this whole thing happened where I do enjoy xbralis platonically but. I'm just watxhing them flirt and what am I supposed to do about it. they literally kissed with their cube little heads what I'm. huh.

and then secret life happened and the line is not thin anymore its non existant. I'm literally scrolling through the ethubs tag every day. I'm like this 👌 close to actually opening ao3, and not to reread my favorit ex&x family fics but to see what's cooking in the ethubs tag. (minecraft achievement font) how did we get here

[jellieland]

This is somewhat inspired by some of the fics @theminecraftbee has written.

---

Two figures watch, from a nebulous nowhere, as Scar stands, alone, in the remains of his destroyed shop.

"I'm sorry," he says, mournfully, to no one.

"You Know," says the first figure, "I Really Wasn't Convinced When You Pitched This One."

Scar does not react. He cannot hear them.

"Yes," says the second, with an air of long-suffering patience. "I Do Know. You Were Very Vocal About It."

"...I really wanted to try and make some friends, this time." Scar, simultaneously right in front of them and a great distance away, sighs and looks up at the sky. "Oh, well. Nothing to be done about it now!"

"I Have Come Around To It," says the first.

"Good," says the second. "I Knew You Would."

They watch Scar start to sort through the mess.

"They Forget They Have A Choice," says the first. "It Is Fascinating."

They move on.

The move on to ash.

Skizz and Tango and Bigb stand right in the thick of it, quiet.

"You try to do one nice thing," says Skizz.

His hands curl into fists. He glares at the smoldering remains of the heart in front of him.

"You try to do ONE nice thing!" he yells, and punches one of the last remaining bits of wood.

Brittle from the fire, it breaks.

"Yeah, well! I guess this is why we don't," says Tango, resigned.

"It was always gonna happen eventually," says Bigb, voice level.

"They Always Try," says the first. "They Always Keep Trying."

"Yes," says the second. "They Chase Each Other In Circles Until All Of Them Are Dead. They Give Themselves Their Own Tasks."

"That Is Not What I Meant," says the first. "But That Is Also True."

They watch the three members of the Heart Foundation stand, for a while, in silence.

And they move on.

They move over to the mesa.

Martyn is standing inside his house, that used to be Jimmy's house too, facing the three chests on the wall labelled "TIMMY", "MUMBO" and "MARTYN".

He is talking animatedly, and gesturing. "-and I kept trying to get them to follow me there, but nobody was taking the bait. Honestly, you guys would've laughed at me. But it-"

They let the rambling fade into the background.

"A Good Dog," says the first.

"Yes," says the second. "He Does As He Is Told."

"-and I've honestly been feeling a bit left out today, isn't that funny? But- Bdubs said, he said he would join me next week, so-"

They move on.

They move to the cobblestone castle, in the side of the hill.

Grian is cooing over a small magma cube named Etho's Dishwasher.

Cleo and Etho are leaning against the staircase watching him.

"Are you both alright?" asks Cleo.

"Sure, I'm fine," says Etho.

"Me?" says Grian, turning around. "Oh, I'm good, I was being a total coward. I just hung around at the top of that tower by the Secret Keeper for ages and none of them ever thought to look up."

"Really?" asks Cleo, amused. "Some of them I would expect that of, but I'd think Gem would be a bit more on the ball."

"Well, apparently not," says Grian.

He turns back to the magma cube, and they settle into quiet.

"I Would Have Expected More Of The Alliances To Have Fallen Apart, By Now," says the first.

"Loyalty Is At Its Most Interesting When It Is Stretched," says the second. "These Three Know It Will Never Last. They Know That All Of Them Are Aware Of This. That Is Why They Are Still Here. They Know How Much They Can Care Without It Being A Lie. And Then Privately, They Care More Than That Anyway."

Eventually, Etho sighs. He looks tired.

He glances from Cleo, to Grian, and back, and after a moment of hesitation, speaks. "I, uh. I'm glad you two survived." He shifts awkwardly, and continues before they can respond. "I thought they were going to try and make me kill you, at one point, and- Grian, I don't know if you know this, but Cleo is scary when she's getting revenge. I did not want to have to worry about that."

Cleo laughs, slightly, and gives Etho a look of the deepest affection. "Well, I did die, is the thing, so thanks for reminding me of that."

"No, no, you knew what I meant! See, Grian? See what it's like?"

"Uh huh," says Grian, raising an eyebrow. "Well, thanks for not killing us."

Cleo frowns at him, suddenly curious. "Grian?" they ask. "Are you the only one who didn't die today?"

Grian opens his mouth, then stops to consider it.

"Or- no, wait. Martyn." says Cleo. "Well. Well done either way."

They watch the trio for a little longer, and then they move on.

They move to Scott.

He is alone, in a forest somewhere.

He is leant up against a cliff face, staring down at the floor.

"None Of Them Even Died, This Time," says the first. "Not Permanently."

"No," says the second. "It Was Controlled. Directed. There To Even The Playing Field. We Can Just Ask Them To Do That, Now, And They Will."

Scott draws his knees up to his chest, and rests his head on his arms.

He doesn't move, or shout, or cry.

He just stays there, quiet.

Eventually, they move on.

They move to the Secret Keeper.

Gem is standing there.

She is looking at it.

"If She Had Decided To Fail At The Start," says the first, "She Most Likely Would Have Lived. She Lost So Much More, Taking Things From Other People, Than The Nothing She Would Have Lost In Failure."

"Yes," says the second. "That Is My Favourite Part."

They watch her.

"Anyway," says the second, "She Would Not Do That."

"She Wouldn't?" asks the first.

"No," says the second. "She Understands Why It Is My Favourite Part."

Gem smiles.

"Thank you!" she says to the Secret Keeper. "That was a lot of fun!"

"You Are Welcome," says the second.

Blood on her hands, Gem turns and leaves, grin as bright as the sun.

They watch her go.

[wisepuma23]

Knives and forks clink against the dinner plates, metal scraping and laughter, their base drips with water from above. Drip, drip, drip. Impulse watches. It seeps into the center of the table, a growing patch on the wooden grain. Right between the steaks and loaves of warm bread. Nobody pays it any mind. Drip, drip.

(…Nobody but him.)

Etho says something he doesn’t catch, a bark of laughter from Tango. Beads of water splash onto the surrounding food.

Impulse’s hold on his fork goes tight. 

He needs to fix that. 

“Impulse buddy, you with us?” Skizz shakes his arm, “You agree Scar’s acting weird right?”

“Yeah yeah,” Impulse answers on auto-pilot, “I heard rumors he’s been trying to get kills. Yellow Scar, man.”

Tango cackles and the conversation cycles on. Impulse steels his jaw, he can’t zone out again. Keep pretending, he reminds himself. It wouldn’t be good to stab his teammates at the dinner table. He’d have to clean the table out. Maybe pull out the entrails from the cracks in the grain of wood.

(Drip, drip.) 

No, focus. 

Focus.

(A faint, metallic scent permeates his senses– gone in a moment.) 

Impulse bites into a piece of steak. Buttery juice slides over his tongue and between his teeth. The taste of blood makes his grip on the fork creak. For what feels like the first time in millenia, his glamor itches at his skin. The careful control over his form twitches and squirms like a coiled snake poised to strike. 

Show them what you really are, hums in his mind. The dripping echoes like a wardrum. Show them your true face.

 Impulse licks at his lips, “You did a nice job, Tango. It’s delicious!” 

“Aww!” Tango coos, his flames crackling a soft orange-red, “Etho lent me some seasoning but he won’t tell me where he got the happy happy sauce.” 

Impulse takes another bite, canines digging into flesh and bone, and the rip is loud. Or is it loud for him? Again, infernal magic bubbles at the back of his throat. He swallows, appraising the flavor. It doesn’t drown out the sickly sulfur like he hoped. 

“Bdubs?” Impulse guesses with a tease.

“Oh come on,” Etho groans, “Ah I guess that was way too easy.”

“He married me too, remember?” Impulse laughs at Etho’s expression, “Can’t blame me for forgetting the best meals I’ve ever had! Bet he’s feeding his family around now.” 

Etho waves him off as they cackle at the blush rushing up past the mask. Impulse cuts another piece off the bone. Rip, snrk, clink. Idly, he wonders if human skin still made the same noise. 

The clink of metal against the plates, the dull pounding of water. The snap-crackle of Tango’s fire. Buttery-sweet blood coats his tongue.

He remembers the musky smell of Etho's burning hair and flesh, his screams turned into bloody gurgles as he flailed in lava in the first game. Just minutes before everything ended. 

Impulse tears off a chunk of meat.

(Snrrk, clink.)

People die in so many ways. It’s why he loves the variety poison provides— stomachs twisting and lungs seizing— and yet he wonders if anybody’s tried skinning someone, if the server would even allow it.

Impulse swallows a dark laugh, is vivisection on the table? His glamor shivers.

Metal catches the light, the smooth shimmer taking him back. To sharp arrowheads and snapping magma, to a castle reaching into the sky.

He remembers a golden clock.

(Rip, snrk, clink.) 

Impulse remembers the way Bdubs’ flesh bubbled and blistered from the Wither. The way his Red bloodlust sang at the way his corpse crumpled to the ground. Bdubs’ skin growing dark, mottled with blackened streaks and bruised from the Withering and regular battle. 

The worst of it healed over, scars stitched into flesh. But he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t revel in it, the stained canvas left on Bdubs’ face and arms. 

He kissed that face. Peppering them along wither-cracked ribs and arms, tracing every dark and poisoned line with a smile. I’m sorry, he had said. I’m sorry.

He meant it. (Yes, really.)

Impulse hadn’t meant to curse Bdubs with chronic pain and scars, especially since he had to feel the echoes of it through the soulmate bond. He loved Bdubs. Loved him since the beginning.

And he remembers the rip-schk! of the ax in his back. 

The way his blood pooled on the grass as everything went dark.

The phantom feeling of Pearl’s wolves tearing flesh from bone in long strips and bites. Riiiip-snrk-crunch.

Blood dripping from between their teeth.

(Drip, drip.)

Impulse stabs his fork a little harder into the next cut, picturing a handsome face with a cute and crooked grin. Damn him. He glares down at his plate. No, focus. Pretend, he tells himself, you’re good at that, aren’t you?

There’s a hand over his, warmer than it should be. He looks up.

Tango has cocked an eyebrow up with a cute little nose crinkle, “You in?”

Impulse blinks, the words registering in his head.

“Yeah, sure,” He grins, “A walk sounds great. I think I’m tired of Skizz’s stink overpowering the place. We really need to install some ventilation.”

“Hey!” 

And they laugh, bright and loud as Skizz pouts, checking his armpits. The glasses shake as Tango rattles the table with a smack, a cackle on his lips. Etho’s eyes twinkle with amusement.

Impulse’s focus drifts. Back to the present, away from the blood.

(Drip, drip.)

And yet.

(Rip, snrrk, clink.)

…The hunger prevails.  

[sulatni-flerida11]

spoilers for wild life session 3 (cleo, tango, and scar's povs) (edits as i remember more stuff)

SNAILS SNAILS SNAILS SNAILS SNAILS OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM DEARLY they're all designed after the CCs :') i know they're deadly as HECK but genuinely that was stressful and entertaining and wow i am still in shock

JIMMY WHY WOULD YOU TAUNT DEATH BY CREEPER JIMMY WHY WHY WHY -

(about jimmy's death) "what moron would die to a creeper?" tango,,, oh tango,,, *double life and prev. wild life session flashbacks*

alright who gave tango some gifts of prophecy -

scar & lizzie thinking they're safe underground followed by lizzie's snail just BREAKING INTO THE SPAWNER ???? please you can hear it in their voices they're panicking 😭😭

4Gs (was it impulse that said it first) saying they're like snowbirds as they try to base closer to the rest of the server,,, more avian headcanons -

bdubs and scar's snails :') they DO look similar but bdubs has the wide grin and scar has the smirk that's so good - (more clockers brainrot but what if they were twins (cleo & etho i think say scar's the older one on stream so i'll roll with that))

impulse and pearl's deaths 😭😭 please a part of me wishes they get back to dark green next session but another part REALLY wants them to go red because,,, y'know,,, they do the stabbing and scott & cleo do the sweet talking,,,

etho and cleo showing each other their snails was a nice moment :') (sorry i'm a cletho girlie love me some divorced besties)

5Gs just doing a snail race from the forest up to the bamboozlers mountain :') they're like "yeah they can kill us but we can have fun with it :>"

etho walking up to impulse going all "i'm a tough guy !! >:] you don't want to try me !! >:]" and then cleo cuts in to his face with a diamond sword then goes "don't mess with my team mate" to ETHO SQUEALING ???? THEN GOING "i'm a tough guy i swear !!" HAHSJSJSHA man he's actually afraid of cleo 😭😭 your honor you were literally teamed with her in secret life calm down i thought it was a bit he does but really didn't mean it but no - (i like to think he got flashbacks to when cleo accidentally stabbed him with a sword in one of their secret life intros but this time they're not allied anymore so etho's genuinely like "oh they CAN stab me")

CLEO SCOTT AND IMPULSE WITNESSING ETHO BLOWN UP BY A CREEPER AFTER THE PREV 😭😭 LMAOOOO

TANGO BURNING BAMBOOZLERS BASE THEN JIMMY'S "TANGO NO I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!" as he tried to stop him,,, farewell ranchers love loses

SKIZZ KILLING SCAR BECAUSE JIMMY KILLED SKIZZ NOOOOO

SCAR WANTING TO END IT ALL WITH SCOTT AND LIZZIE PUSHING HIM AWAY FROM HIS SNAIL PLEASE this is the first wild life ep. i've seen from scar and he already sounds so done and wanting to kill skizz

TANGO WHY DID YOU JUST JUMP OFF THE TREEBARK BASE TO 1 HEART TANGO WHY WHY WHY - (i know i just said ranchers love loses but god these two are the CEOs of self-sabotage hey yall meet mr. "don't wanna die first from canary curse" and mr. "dies accidentally and unceremoniously ft. a bit of tnt")

scar helping jimmy with kills throughout the session,,,, turns out SCAR needs the kills more because he's frickin red now -

"where's my snail -" *dies* *replays moment twice in video* tango i am cackling

"he's adorable and i hate his face" tango just summed up how all the lifers feel about their snails

joel's snail jumpscaring joel 😭😭

i know martyn told scar that he was thinking of brewing potions and etho told cleo, scott, and impulse about the trip to the nether but i didn't think they'd actually,,, brew potions and throw invis at a snail (see: eSCARgot)

grian frantically typing in chat "END OF SESSION" the moment he realizes scar just went to red because his snail is invisible while skizz & tango are also red,,, (ngl i thought jimmy would be one of the red names but y'know this is way worst)

love cleo posing with their snail at the end of the session <3

fave snail designs: cleo, bigb, lizzie, scar, bdubs

[thecoolerliauditore]

in episode 6, Cleo repeatedly says pearl is not good at PVP. she is then surprised by pearl 2v1ing bdubs and impulse and winning. she then says Scott will murder pearl after her and Martyn die, once again putting down her skills. and when Scott puts down the TNT, Cleo says that's what they want. encouraging his suicide. she's VERY enthusiastic about his suicide, even though he cant hear her.

see this links arms very well with something I've been pondering very, very hard recently which is Cleo being the worst the worst ever I hate them I hate them so much pours lava on her pours lava on her pours lava

sorry. which is Cleo acting as an enabler for Scott's abusive and, more dominantly, self-destructive tendencies. It's a tricky thing to dissect because at least for me it's very easy to go down the route of making her shoulder the responsibility of Scott's behaviour which is unfair to Cleo cus Scott was always insane and I've read too much feminist theory to fault a woman for a man's actions without feeling at least a little bit of self-consciousness.

But that being said it is like. Very dear to my heart how much of an enabler Cleo is and how she seems floating on the edge of self-awareness at times to how she treats Scott. Thinking about the conversation she had with Martyn once again (sorry this is like the nineteenth time I've brought up this conversation but it really is a Major Character Moment to me for both Cleo and Martyn) where she straight up admits she's taking advantage of Scott as well as her hesitancy when Etho referred to Scott as "(her) Bdubs".

And she Is taking advantage of Scott who is more than willing to let her do it because it feeds his own narrative about himself being kind and selfless or whatever. Like imagine running into someone who is so desperate to be Good they would literally let you kill them and you got like 20 dollars if you did and you not only kill them but encourage their behaviour to the point where if you need a 20 real quick you just shoot them in the head like clockwork.

And Scott's self-destructive tendencies have only worsened with her encouragement. Third Life Scott was a bitch but his crimes were more in how he saw others than the lengths he went to prove a narrative about himself. This is maybe one of my more wrong opinions but I have it filed in my back of my brain that Scott's refusal to boogey-kill was the start of his self-destruction. This in of itself isn't necessarily self-destructive or even Bad (constantly having to bring up that Scott not only did it because he felt it was logical considering the circumstances but literally told everyone that was why he was doing it) but it starts a very slippery slope. The rest I'm sure we're all aware.

I don't want to say definitively that Cleo doesn't actually love or care for Scott because I think she does in her own perverse fucked up way but I don't think you'd farm someone for time with little to no hesitation without even a thought of "no, no you or your alliance could do more with this" if you truly did care for them as a human person. Hell I don't know if I'd even say definitively that Cleo Likes Scott as much as she likes what he provides her with, the way she acts with Ren, Etho, Bdubs and even Martyn and Bigb is night and day compared to how she acts with Scott.

That "I have everything you want" line haunts me at night I hope you know. I hope everyone knows.

And I'll be honest I haven't given much thought to how she treats Pearl so my view of their relationship is much more simplistic but she is a bitchhhhh holy fuck. I think she more or less projects a lot of her insecurities onto Pearl who she sees as better than her in the measurements that exist in her head and puts her down because she feels like she has the right to.

I'm sorry this got away from me. We need to Kill Zombie Cleo.

[fluffypotatey]

ok so. i already told you about the task gimmick for secret life smp, and the lives gimmick for the whole series, right. the episodes from recording session 7 came out yesterday and im so normal about it

the session starts out pretty normal, pretty casual. everything seems fine. sure, some people are acting a little off, but this is the “people being secretive and acting weird” series, so most people just brush it off.

and then people start dying. and then they start hanging out with the people who killed them, and don’t seem that upset about it. and then those victims start hunting down other players as well.

about halfway through the session, the players start figuring out what’s going on: someone got a task telling them to essentially start a zombie apocalypse. the remaining survivors (about half of the server) band together and hole up at probably the most defensible base on the server, belonging to the Roomies faction

(the Roomies being the players ZombieCleo (yeah, ironic), Etho, and Grian) (i don’t think that’s their official faction name but i also don’t think they have one) (also, all three of them are at that point uninfected)

the zombies attack, and grian attempts to trick them into looking at an enderman. this backfires, and directly leads to etho’s death and subsequent conversion to a “zombie”. (they’re actually called “Boogeymen” after a mechanic from some of the previous seasons, but i like zombie better)

during his whole time on Team Zombie (not the official name), etho did not attack grian or cleo, his factionmates, once, several times risking his own life to cover for them and sabotage the zombies’ efforts to kill them (sometimes subtly, sometimes not so much)

after you die and join the apocalypse, your task changes to become “infect all non-infected.” etho chose to actively fail his own task rather than attack his team.

about a quarter into etho’s episode, he had a chat with bdubs (the first player to be “turned,” and who was infected at that time), where they talked about the game (note: bdubs and etho have been friends for over a decade, and within the life series have a really weird gay thing going on). bdubs confidently declares that he’d choose to fail a task if it involved killing etho, and etho said he probably wouldn’t go that far for bdubs.

but he did for cleo and grian. do you understand how insane i am abt this

in the end, both cleo and grian survived the apocalypse without becoming zombies, and while im not sure how much etho’s actions specifically had to do with it (there was one point at the end of the session where he Definitely saved their lives), it’s just. he tried. he failed in his task but he succeeded in his goal.

(also, right after etho got infected, he went back to the Roomies base/survivor hq (don’t remember why), and cleo warned etho that she Would kill him too. except in their episode, she has a little subtitle that pops up on the screen when they say that, and it says “I won’t.” like even if he turns on her, she wont follow through on that threat and do the same. these block people make me go crazy)

they had a zombie au episode 🥺🥺🥺

[bigb-enthusiast]

3L bigb is so aghhghfhfhh i do remember seeing someone say they wouldn’t recommend his pov to anyone cause it was just mining like yea. Yeah he did do that and yeah he was gone with the “important” session so hush and also consider you can DO stuff with him staying in the MINES. The isolation, the loneliness of the constant dark of being buried underground for your own materials to live that you’ll lose in the end. His interactions also are interesting, martyn Literally calls him a canary then through out the series he is in the mines. Yeah no one talks about it but i do!! His interactions are also so augh owie but augh awwg. Him being frightened by skizz but still telling skizz he’ll protect and shelter him in his home when skizz needs help. And skizz saying hed protect bigb with his life only for skizz to die next session, bigb unable to save him like he promised. Then the session bigb returns skizz is dead so hes also unable to save bigb like HE promised. Also him being forced into dogwarts?? And him being the LAST dogwarts?? HIM DYING BY ARROWS ALL 3 TIMES. HIM TRICKING BDUBS SCAR AND GRIAN INTO SAYING HIS FINAL WORDS BUT ITS REALLY HIM TRYING TO KILL GRIAN BEFORE HES SHOT AND KILLED BY BDUBS. HE KNEW HE WOULDNT WIN BUT HE DIDNT GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT. Then despite him screaming in his final moments he’s then silent. Quiet as ever as others cheer and boo and laugh and chuckle hes silent. Watching, watching the three stand then two stand then the one stand In LL bigb starts off isolated again but gets to talk to others, him and cleo later agreeing to team and then they live together, they gift eachother stuff and care. They team with lizzie then team with ren, bigb cares for cleo more than the other two by far. Even showing hed fight a redlife joel for them if joel tried to hurt them. But then he gets boogey, he doesnt want to hurt his allies he doesnt want them scared so he lies. But then by the end of the session he realizes he has to kill and he killed cleo but apologizing it all hes apologizing for it all and gets their stuff and puts it away and tries to defend himself from jimmy and martyn who are berating him for what he did unknowing of the full story. Later again cleo gets on red and blames and threatens bigb and bigb due to this refuses to sleep and also gets so scared he tries a new identity aka terry he discovers this doesnt work so he gives up that shtick and sees cleo burn fairy fort and he tries to be normal with this stuff, he fails and later its just him and ren after lizzie dies. Lizzie appears and tells bigb he was her downfall and kills him. Him noticing ren didnt even try to help. Bigb later dies again due to a tnt chest and is on red. He is with scar and apologizes and tries to kill ren but suddenly more greens appear and hes killed with an arrow by cleo, he dies and is silent once again watching as martyn and cleo celebrate his death and he ends off that episode there. DL he joins and says how he hopes cleo is his soulmate, he is happy despite what shes and hes done. He also says he hopes jimmys his soulmate. In the mountain he is mining in cleo appears and they try for soulbound and discover its not eachother. Bigb mines more before he decides to look for his soulmate, he asks the frogs to lead him to where they lead him to a cave with joel, scott, etho, and cleo. He tries to see if cleo is his soulmate again and is sad once again tries with scott then tries with ren and discovers it is after miscommunication happens. The two team and build box! Bigb also shows he cares for pearl deeply but is scared of her also with the deaths and all. He slowly becomes more sad seeing ren talk with martyn more and believes ren will abandon him for martyn, thats why he agrees to the secret soulmate thing. He just believes ren would leave him. This also fails as grian leaves him too and ren finds out and kicks him out of box. But bigb dies again and bigb wants revenge but before that he talks with ren but immediately ren goes to martyn as he tries to explain everything When ren returns he explains the revenge

[single-malt-scotch]

of course i have things to say about lim life and bdubs. you know its funny and great- of course i would love his pov. but i still feel satisfied by what i saw and i dont feel like i do. there is something very different about witnessing a player this way, something we really havent had at all. and of everyone its bdubs. the guy who is associated with time and the guy who acts out so well to the narrative in front of him. and we dont lose anything- bdubs is still bdubs.

after double life we see him team up with people he hadnt from LL-DL. something fresh. together they create a family themed around time and at the center of the map they make a clock tower. they watch every death that spawns for entertainment. regardless of his need to stay with the clockers he continuously shows attachment to TIES/etho (mostly etho). it may be in jest but the clockers point out numerous times that this behavior doesnt shock them, that of course hes like that with etho and of course its muddying his alliances. and lets not forget the grudges held by most members of TIES (eventually Skizz on the list for a bit due to killing him), a neat detail in this funny little situation.

and then for a good whole episode it does make a problem- in the sense it confuses him and everyone else as to where he lies. he later defends the hell out of etho even from the meta jokes of being washed up, later in game of putting himself in front of a group that wants to kill etho, again in offer his life that etho doesnt take. we dont get to hear his thought process, whatever commentary he may be giving about why he really wanted to be with etho again and why he struggled to make it happen. we see it through everyone else. cleo, who is amused at bdubs' very typical behavior but evermore trying to convince him to not go wot etho. etho, who gets glimpses at bdubs from afar and a few moments where they meet in private, having a connection only two close friends could have alone. the rest of TIES who takes him in in brief moments but never hearing more. overall in the end hes around and hes trying to do good, hes "trying his heart out", theres attempts being made but we can see them slip and falter from things outside of his control. the timing is never right.

but no im not done actually. his attempt to help isnt just tied to etho. bdubs has shown himself to be caring and kind, and putting himself out there in order to help others. i think thats where he fell apart- he wanted to keep it all good between clockers and TIES, despite the family dynamic putting in stone that it wasnt possible. as a whole he wanted to be in the middle and this extended to many other interactions. there wasnt a single person that bdubs was actively against this season (yes including skizz- their dynamic was on the same level after he first fight so it became mutual imo), no long building hate, and the clockers were welcoming to others too in their alliances but bdubs did still stand out as the clockers denied TIES and he held on to them. further in we get to the moments where bdubs then offers himself up. its like there was a realization on the game in episode 7, they were far enough in that he thought maybe he could help just before it got worse. he went up to jimmy who's known to die first (yet someone he hardly interacted with) and desperately and repeatedly asks to be killed and of course jimmy takes it, hes only a few minutes away. and then of course he tries again with etho, twice, including helping a fight and etho doesnt take it. you can hear bdubs in the background still laying out what etho could do.

as the season reaches its end let me wind back a bit to deaths in general. bdubs earliest death was certainly an interesting one, one fight he was so confident about and completely failed at, missing numerous hits. and this isnt a surprise to me. bdubs was actually pretty.... well he lacked a lot of kills this season. and not knowing his time for sure through the episodes made this all more interesting to watch, you know? he never seemed like he was really seeking it out. even in a stream before session 8 scar and grian both say they have no clue what bdubs' time is. im sure someone added this up but for everyone else and the average watcher, we see him fumbling or giving his time all while not thinking at all about what he had left just before the end. and then hes the first one to go out in episode 8. its not that it wasnt expected, but his time being in the dark for so much of the series leaves you not thinking about it. it didnt seem like he died that much, it didnt seem like his timer was that now- you wouldnt know for sure unless you saw his pov. most of all, we never really hear him asking for time? there arent any key moments with him saying he really needs to kill. hes fighting, hes helping, but theres barely a hint of desperation to hunt people down- he just stayed in the place he usually was, around the tower, hoping to lend a hand.

and death again. how does his series end? unexpected, completely unknowing to what would kill him. impulse had killed him once earlier and tried to a second time and the cute thing about it? they were laughing the whole time. this could be the moment where youd say impulse got the kill he wanted. and then we get to bdubs' perma death and its impulse again and he never saw it coming- out of the game first that session and left to spectate everyone until the next start to die. quietly until he gets in the chat.. not unlike LL, but not for nearly as long.

and of course, so much of his time is spent in around the clock tower. this led to all of the clocker's demise, with ow dangerous of a location it became, and its all the more in character for each of them to go out there. theres of course something poetic to take from that.

so what does bdubs give us this season? why does it still mean something despite his pov? well it can mean whatever you want it to mean, it can add up to whatever narrative you took from limited life. i dont know if we will know for sure why bdubs didnt upload outside of what he loosely stated on stream. but forever hes someone i look to for an act that has so much to take from it. intentional or not hes putting something in i never see from anyone else. there doesnt need to even be an artistic reason for his choice to not post but his choices always add up to something and i do think he goes out there knowing full well what he can do. he played a type only he can play, because its inherently just who he is and he will never stop being him and that is so great. ill never doubt his decision no matter if it was purposeful, or personal. bdubs is still bdubs and that is all that i wanted.

[ladyevol]

The Shadow of the Moon pt.1

[This takes place in my Witchtrials Au's version of season 8, and this part follows Scar with mentions of Boatem, Cleo, Bdubs, and Etho. TW: Angst, Horror elements]

Another accident and another death. Why did this keep happening to him?

Ever since he was a child, Scar had always been unlucky. The earliest memory that he could remember was of getting hit by lightning as a toddler, which led to the scar on his face and down his chest and arm. His mother was gone for the day and left Scar with Bdubs and Etho. Normally, Bdubs was an exquisite babysitter, until Etho came around. When the man was around, he became a complete yes man, following him around like the moth goes to the flame. Needless to say, things didn't end up well.

Years later, Scar was first hired as a builder and his luck only got worse. Almost as if the universe itself knew that if he were to perish while working he would just be brought back thanks to the angel's magic, his accidents went from dangerous to straight up deadly. It even became a running joke among the other builders, mister diesalot some would even call them. Worse yet, his friends had started killing as well to the point where he had become the biggest target on the island. Sure, at least the other builders kept his things safe, but it was still incredibly frustrating and painful. It hurt so much every time.

With an irritated groan, the man sat up and rubbed his face while laying facing the man. All of his equipment was gone along with the materials he had spent days gathering. All that he had were his clothes because he always kept spares in the chest next to the boatem respawn rune. Sure, Scar knew that he was a rather distracted man, but this was too much. He swore that he didn't die so much on purpose like Grian had assumed. Accidents just seemed to follow him.

After making sure that he was clothed and his prosthetic leg was in the right place, Scar stood up and walked to the bottomless hole in the heart of the town in the hopes that something had survived. The night made it harder to see into the darkness, making Scar's hopes even slimmer. "Man, not again. It is the sixth time this month! There is no way that Mumbo and Impulse will let me borrow their iron again." He sat down at the edge of the hole and stared into its depths, looking for answers rather than his resources. "Why am I like this, Boatem Hole? Maybe Grian is right. Maybe I do have a problem. Should I see a doctor? What type of doctor could even help me? My angels, I'm talking to a hole now. I have officially lost my mind." He snickered and shook his head before looking up at the moon. At least it shined beautifully tonight.

"Your problem is that you lack control."

Scar froze and slowly moved his face to look at the hole again. "W-what? I- I was joking, I- did I actually lose it?!"

"How can you lose something that you never found?"

"Hey! I like to think that I'm a pretty sane person!"

"I'm talking about control. Poor little witch, so powerful, and yet, you have no idea of the power you have."

"Mom always said that I am pretty strong," he hugged himself, "but I'm far from a full-fledged witch. I don't even know what my aspect is. All I can do is use some of my mother's powers."

The voice from the void laughed. "She fears you, Scar. All of them do. The angels, the watchers. All of them are scared of what I can do. What you can become."

"But- why? I don't want to hurt anyone!"

"Don't you?"

Scar noticed something brushing against his back and turned to see a bow on the dirt. His bow. He was certain that wasn't a moment prior. "I- those were pranks! It was just me messing around! I knew my friends would come back!"

"That doesn't mean that they didn't feel pain though, did it? You didn't care if they got hurt as long as you got your fun, as long as you caused chaos."

Scar scoffed, "I'm pretty sure that is more of Grian's thing." He began standing up, with his bow and came in hands. "I'm going home."

"You can do that, but if you do, that won't stop you from dying again and again. You will just keep getting hurt. They will keep hurting you."

Scar stopped, "what are you on about?"

"It is true that you are accident prone, but how many times have your so-called friends killed you? Pushed you into this very pit that you now refuse to listen to." Scar didn't respond, he just looked to the side. "They don't care about you, Scar. They see you as a joke. Poor little clumsy Scar, the biggest punching bag in all of Hermitcraftia."

Scar took a deep breath, "I- I suppose that if I became a full witch, I wouldn't die as much and I could use it to help everyone too, as long as the angels didn't find out. They wouldn't get it. They don't understand that not all witches are evil. I'm not evil and neither is my family." He paused, "can you help me become a witch? You don't seem afraid of me, despite knowing what I am.

"I can. I can even show you how to show the angels that not all witches are bad. We will turn their world upside down. "

"Ok, I'm listening. How do I learn to control my power?"

"You just have to come closer."

Warily, the man stepped towards the hole.

"Closer." Once again, he walked to the edge.

"Just a little closer now." Once more, he obeyed until he was standing at the very border.

"I can't walk any closer without falling now!" He argued. This time, there was no response. With a frown, he leaned a bit forward to try and look inside the hole, "hello? Are- are you still there?"

Scar continued staring, waiting. He was so focused at looking into the void, he failed to notice something coming from below until it was already hooked around his ankle. "What the?!" Before his eyes could even register what was going on, the man was pulled into the abyss. The light of the moon became further and further away until all that there was around him was cold darkness.

Scar fell into the void.

[kaidanalenko]

Bdubs Etho has no loyalty to you he's just immediately teamed up with the next guy that's come along Yeah hes a survivor man thats what he does ... He loves me If he loves you why didnt he give you a life He cares. He does

we put ourselves to the ultimate test. the first thing i wanted to do was, team up with me. that's right! we're the best. aha! the south lands, made some towers. we're here in the fairy fort collecting flowers! gatekeep, gaslight, and girlboss here. magical mountain's the BEST idea. please watch out, how shall i say, something called a boogie man can be here today. we have to be on full guard for this episode. careful of your valuables they may explode.

and boom! we're back. (oh dear) red names have to attack. I NEED BLOOD. another episode of chaos in a box. how bout this, i trade you magic blocks? and boom! It's time! burn it to the ground! (this is fine) (bleh) that's a wither. how did we survive? right that's it, i'm on my last life.

i'm so sorry... i knew i could never have trust you. aw. you could have trusted me! there's a way we can still be friends. yeah? you can join me.

absolute carnage in the shadow lands. so many red names. this is intense. i could get making some TNT. do me a favor, die for me. wha-ha-ha, it was an accident! get back here! no, my friend! i have loyalty and a taste for blood. we're outnumbered, this is the end! so i left this world just as i had entered it, confused. you could have gone for me and you chose not to. i would lose! dude everybody's dying, i need some good news! bubblevate initiate. i'm gonna die! they all betrayed me, and it made me cry. i killed big b! (that was pretty much my goal.) not like this! grian! joel! no... they got me...

and boom! we're back. (oh dear) red names have to attack. I NEED BLOOD. another episode of chaos in a box. how bout this, i trade you magic blocks? and boom! It's time! burn it to the ground! (this is fine) (bleh) that's a wither. how did we survive? right that's it, i'm on my last life.

well it was a good show.

what's gonna happen now? there's literally four people left on the server. i don't want to kill anybody. i have spent all season being honorable. that's not going to stop now. everybody ready?

3. 2. 1.

[fruitwanderer]

I do agree w you for the most part, character bdubs isn’t a cheater. I feel like it’s more like there are two levels of people in Bdubs’ mind: Etho and Everyone Else. During double life I honestly wondered if Bdubs was potentially angling for some kind of betrayal and then teamup with Etho again, but it never came to fruition. I mean, Bdubs did (I think) specifically say that he wanted Etho as an ally. I understand why ppl write Bdubs as a cheater, but looking at his in-character loyalty, I agree, it mostly doesn’t line up w how he acts.

I wanna argue a little and say there are three: Etho, the people he's team with (so Cleo in 3rd Life, Impulse in DL, ect), and everyone else. He sort of decides who he's loyal to, who he'll die for, each season and usually sticks to it. The only one who hasn't was Tango in LL who he sort of saw as a worthy death?

Also I both would and would not be surprised if Bdubs planned to eventually betray Impulse. Like okay you know Renchanting? Martyn's plan for that? If I remember, or maybe I'm making it up, Impulse had a similar-ish plan for Double Life?

They'd be the type to make it to the end together, but Impulse would be the slightest bit more likely to turn on Bdubs. Maybe Bdubs would, but Impulse absolutely would.

Also thinking about Bdubs and his loyalty, I don't think he's ever tried to kill his 'main partner'? He acted as Cleo's guard dog, only really wanted to kill Etho to have another red (but I think he refused to do it himself? Memory on LL is extremely blurry so this might all be wrong), and generally was a good partner to Impulse. Only one out of those three did he have motivations to kill within the same season they teamed.

Also I want to state: Team BEST doesn't count. Idk if I can explain this easily, but they weren't a solid, sturdy team. They were more like two teams tied together, and Tango wasn't His Guy for that season. Tango wasn't even close being His Guy in 3rs Life until he proclaimed his loyalty to Bdubs towards the end. Saying because I rotated BEST to hard for a second and had a realization pfff

[candiedblueberries]

If you and your soulmate were the last pair standing, and there could only be one, what would you do? 

---

Um, I don't know. I've always been the first out, so I've never really thought that far. Jimmy remarks. But, I'd probably let Tango win. He deserves it for being such a kind and caring soulmate. 

Awwe, Tango smiles, I'd let you win. You deserve it for everything you've gone through.

Awwe, Jimmy grins, Maybe we could both win. 

Yeah. Maybe we could both tower up and jump off at the same time. 

Yeah. 

---

We would die together. Ren declares. We would stay loyal to each other until the ends of the Earth. 

Big B nods. Yeah. Though I wouldn't mind letting you win. 

Awe Big B, Ren says. I wouldn't let you. We either die together or we don't die at all. 

Big B smiles softly. Thanks Ren. After slight hesitation, he adds, for everything. Ren takes Big B's hand and squeezes it. 

--- 

Um, Grian says, Cactus ring two, electric boogaloo? I honestly haven't thought that far. I know I seem like I know what I'm doing, but I don't. Anyway, I don't know. I'm not really interested in reliving the pain of the cactus ring again, but it kind of seems like our only option. Scar? 

Wha- Oh right! the question. Right. Scar chuckles nervously. Um, I also don't know, though I don't think it matters since G will always end up winning. But I don't really care if I win or not, as long as I die near the my true soulmates, the Jellie pandas. 

Grian sighs and rolls his eyes affectionately. Of course you would bring the Jellie pandas into this. 

---

Probably fight, Etho says, even though I'll lose. 

What makes you say that? Joel asks, surprise lacing his voice. 

Well, there's a reason why Cleo thinks that you're a bigger threat than I am. You also ended my series in  Last Life. Etho points out. He can already see Joel's ego start to swell. 

Oh yeah. I did do that. Joel replies, smug. 

Hey, don't get too confident now. I can still beat you  if I tried. Etho quips. 

Oh Yeah? You wanna try and test that now, Etho? Huh? Do you want to see who will win? C'mon, fight me! We'll see who wins. 

Etho sighs. Joel. We're in the afterlife. We can't kill each other if we're already dead.

Right. Forgot about that part. 

---

Impulse looks long and hard at the golden apple in his inventory, and then at the sleeping Bdubs leaning on his shoulder. I don't know. It depends on whether or not Bdubs would have betrayed me. Or maybe I would have done it anyway, as revenge for when he betrayed me in Third Life. 

---

I would've killed him. Cleo says instantly. 

Wow Cleo, do you hate me that much? You didn't even hesitate! Martyn complains. 

Yeah, I do. 

Then why did you team with me at the end? Martyn questions. Why didn't you go with Scott, your chosen soulmate? 

Well, Cleo replies, I didn't have much of a choice, did I?  I held onto Scott until I couldn't hold on anymore, and that's all I could do. The soul link doesn't exactly make this easy. Quite the opposite, actually.

Martyn sighs. Yeah, true. 

---

Well, Scott glances at Pearl. We already know how this ends.

Pearl laughs. Yeah, I guess we do. I still can't believe you did that, though. 

Me neither. Scott smiles. I don't regret it though. 

Thanks Scott, maybe you aren't so bad after all. 

Yeah. Tilly death do us part. 

Tilly death do us part. 

[sharklights]

The night after the ranch burns down is quiet. Jimmy curls up into his soulmate's warm arms, trying to stave off the cold from the draft in the still-smoldering house. Neither of them are asleep, and neither are bothering to pretend that they are.

"Are you alright?" is the question Jimmy asks, softly, but deafening in the silence.

"I will be," Tango replies, and there's no heat in his voice when he does. It's just defeat. There is none of the violent, desperate anger that seemed to take over him only hours before. Jimmy hadn't known what to do, frantically trying to thank the helpers and calm Tango down at the same time. Tango had shouted to Etho first, which didn't sting (didn’t sting like seeing Scott make cottages with Cleo, didn’t sting like Grian and Martyn forbidding the server to reply to his horn, didn’t sting like loneliness at all), and Etho had laughed. Egged him on, even, and Joel joined in immediately. Tango reveled in it, or he seemed to, but his red eyes looked panicked as Jimmy stared into them, his pupils shrunk down to pinpricks and darting around, looking for a way to escape.

Jimmy had recognized the look. He'd seen it on his own face enough, after he did something stupid and had to worm his way out of consequences, or when he watched someone he cared about die by his hand, directly or otherwise. He tried calming Tango down with words first, and he felt terror that wasn't his flatten into a simmer of panic. He held Tango's arm tightly, squeezing his wrist in an attempt to ground him, and he felt the panic die down to a delirious exhaustion. He blew his horn, unique to the ranch, right in Tango's face, and when Tango pulled his own horn out to reply, it was with enough intention that Jimmy almost went limp with relief.

Jimmy repositions himself so that he can look at Tango's eyes. They look tired. Jimmy knows he looks the same. "What happened back there?" he asks.

"I think it was... mob instincts, maybe. I don't know. It's only happened once before, back in last life, when Bdubs killed me. I sort of... lost control of myself, I guess. And it happened again when Scar burned down the ranch. Stupid, I know," Tango laughs. He sounds embarrassed to admit it.

"Is that why you called out to Etho?" Jimmy asks.

Tango nods, rustling the sheets near his flaming head. The flames never burn anything unless Tango wants them to. They'd been burning blue-hot that afternoon.

"Well, I don't blame you. I'm not an expert or anything, but I feel like you were basically having a panic attack, right?" Jimmy says. Tango nods again.

"I'll try to remember that. I know how to bring you back now, at least. If that had happened in combat, or if we'd been red at the time, I don't know what would have happened," Jimmy elaborates.

"Sorry," Tango mumbles, like he's ready to fall asleep. "It's sort of annoying to deal with."

"Let's call it even. I do have a death curse, after all," Jimmy quips, coaxing a rumbly laugh from his soulmate. If he didn't know better, he'd almost call it a purr.

"'Night, Canary," Tango murmurs.

"Goodnight, Coal Mine," Jimmy replies.

And once again, the night is quiet.

[desolationcleo]

ok i think i've got it

ok so picture. you're me. it's april. this is your first time ever watching a life series as it airs.

in the latest episode, jimmy lost large amounts of time and was left with the least out of anyone. he ends his video by saying "i'm afraid that the curse will continue and i will be the first one out."

you know there's barely any time left of speculation. the recording session for episode 7 already happened and you know damn well jimmy did not survive. you have been listening to canary in a coal mine (and also this) nonstop this whole week.

it's the night before the moment of truth. you are scared to go to sleep because going to sleep means tomorrow will start and you're terrified of that. you know there will be permadeaths. you're tired whether you want to be or not. you're afraid to sleep.

you wake up the next day with your heart racing. you almost immediately start feeling like you're going to explode into static. you can barely feel your hands.

you spend the entire day reloading jimmy's channel, avoiding tumblr like the plague so as to avoid spoilers. you wait hours for jimmy to upload. it's making you go insane, the waiting, the avoiding, the not knowing, the buildup to the moment of truth.

finally, he uploads, and the first thing you see is that the video is titled "the curse continues".

you have the answer, now.

i'm not gonna lie, i immediately screamed "YES" out loud.

You click so fast that you don't register the thumbnail. You see it, yes, you see jimmy on skynet with a tnt minecart, but you don't process it. you saw that thumbnail for maybe 2/3 of a second.

you only know one thing about this episode: jimmy dies at the end.

you don't know how.

you're so absorbed in watching that you don't look at how much time is left in the video, and why would you? it never even occurs to you. throughout the entire thing you don't know how close you are to the end.

etho, the boogeyman, kills jimmy. jimmy only loses half the time he should have. jimmy has barely any time left, he'll die before he makes it to scott- bdubs begs jimmy to kill him. jimmy gains time.

jimmy dies in this episode. you know this. he should already be dead. he's losing less time than he should and he's being given time by multiple other players. you know damn well that he does not survive. you know how this ends, but not how it happens. you know he will die again, and he will die first. you do not know where in the video you are, or how long is left until he dies, or how he dies. it could be any second now.

until earlier it was a matter of if. to the characters, it still is. but you've seen the title and you know it's a matter of when and how.

and that was just. such a fucking experience. watching them do everything in their power to stop the curse they all know he has, many of them believing he'll be able to break it. the characters don't know that this video is titled after the curse remaining unbroken. the things i experienced watching that. holy fuck.

tbh i think jimmy titling his video "the curse continues" thereby giving away the ending to anyone who knows anything about the series actually enhanced the experience a lot but maybe that's the went-out-of-my-way-to-watch-his-pov-first-that-day talking

[bellshazes]

Here is your excuse to ramble more about clethubs, I think this sort of analysis is really cool

the similarity of etho and cleo's approach to the life series is that they both will say either out loud or thru their actions, "I'm going to make sure you get what you deserve."

for cleo, this is her sense of justice leading her to the iconic "do me a favor and die for me" moment; she's loyal until she's betrayed, and then everything is on the table. she will treat you exactly as fairly as you treat her, which is why scott and her teaming up twice in a row makes sense, since Scott's win in LL is tied to his unwillingness to betray anyone and going red because of not killing as boogeyman. it also means that bdubs, who she didn't know especially closely before 3L, gets particular indulgences from her when he asks her to pretend she found the enchanter and tells him no one will believe her because she's also red but cuts instantly after that to her doing it. in DL she starts lying for fun with the lie meter bit after chastising bdubs for lying to her when she has never lied to him. she lies to him after! come season 4 (manifesting) I don't expect her to be sentimental about him much.

etho's whole bit in frightening exploit tactics is the same wording but emphasized differently. he fakes being boogey to extort people and fails at it miserably, but he is primarily interested in engineering situations in which people become deserving of retaliation, something cleo doesn't seek out but takes advantage of when it happens. His fishing rod kill on scar is the most brutally brilliant example of this - seeing an opportunity so good that even scar says he can't quite be mad about dying to it! But he doesn't really escape scar's single-minded insistence on the contracts bc scar has never been interested in fairness and etho is always interested in technicalities.

this contrast is compelling on its own. But bdubs brings them together when cleo tries to get recompense for etho looting her corpse while she's doing a favor for her buddy who said etho was kicking him out even though etho (correctly) insists he never was, and it's bdubs who brings them together when cleo consoles etho when bdubs dies and trusts him because bdubs did.

bdubs is not interested in people getting what they deserve. Bdubs is interested in people getting what he can give them, like a crastle to keep them safe, or interesting recklessness to play off of if he can't build a fortress, or a commitment to a bit whether it's advantageous or not (homewrecking). he is selfish and selfless, he will take lives from tango in LL and lie to cleo and everybody in DL and betray impulse of the day 1 crew in 3L when it suits him because he has one priority and that's his partner surviving him and I guess like being alive long enough to torment etho Jesus christ he's sick in the head for that one.

together the three of them when they align enable each other's most interesting and complex traits. you can see it in the way etho is like the only one who believes bdubs homewrecking and trusts cleo even while she says etho is the weakest link to attack alongside bdubs, because now unallied she has no qualms about using her knowledge of them to her advantage, all while bdubs quest to homewreck driven literally because quote unquote I want etho causes her to treat him no longer Iike home as he'd described her and she'd treated etho by transitive property in LL but some other player.

anti-sentimental sentimentalists of different flavors, who are in turn fiercely loyal and just and ruthless and indifferent. they would not I think win as a team of three. but a guy who wants to go out in a blaze of glory and a person who's always down for arson and just desserts and a guy who looks for reasons to fall on swords.... man. man. it gets to me

[single-malt-scotch]

"What did you witness?" Bdubs, Limlife

Episode 7-8 spoilers. Character study. 778 words.

Making assumptions is all you can do. But curiosity can't be avoided. The clocks, the timer, the tower, your fate. Why are you hidden out of all people?

It was hard to tell, living the norm among friends. Forming a team, doing as expected. But there was no way the connection hadn't been made. It had to mean something to Bdubs. No one asked him the feeling- impending doom? Excitement to fill an unsaid role? Dread for uncertain fate? Bdubs loved acting. He loved to be out there. Perhaps it wasn't clicking yet. Perhaps he felt he could stay in the background enough to ignore the game.

He'd made his team and it was fun. It was all about the fun, it was all about the mundane conflict, it was all about laughing at broken traps- until it wasn't. Fighting was one thing but the clock was another. A symbol that had been so relevant to him. A figure he attached to himself that suddenly meant death. That was the jab, that was the hit. Bdubs was fighting the conflict of what it meant for him and everyone else. Something he had understood for so long was out of his hands. The only way to avoid the count down was to kill. That was the only control anyone could take, and it was thrust upon all of them by force.

The desperation seeps in always. Bdubs thought he'd have a sense of control, but anxiety hit every time he glanced over. Green, yellow. One hour down, one hour more.

This wasn't it. Time had a grip on him in just the way he didn't want it to. His hand driven to the blade, ignore your history, put aside your thought. He was okay losing the fight of blood, but not the fight of time. He couldn't, he absolutely couldn't.

But what else was he to do other than die? Die again, again, and again. He made theatrics of his life before, and while he was the only one to know his true intentions, he couldn't not be himself. It was typical. He'd still try is heart out even when he died trying.

=

What he saw was scrambling. What he heard was fear among a sea of voices. It was too much to process until heard the words burst out. Seven minutes.

You need release. You need to let go on your own terms. You're doing it for you and no one else.

Kill me.

No one has anything to say.

Kill me.

This is just you.

Kill me.

There is no one behind the screen.

Kill me.

This is all you.

Kill me.

This is your time, this is your control.

Kill me.

Kill me.

Kill me.

Kill me.

=

But then no one wanted it. No one could take the generosity and live without the guilt. He could save them, if they would just take the time. He'd found the loophole to the game. This was the way- if he couldn't beat the clock, he could make sure someone else did. He'd be an angel handing over his life to save others. To a stranger, a friend. But out of all people Etho .

And Etho did not take it. The strain in his reply made it clear to Bdubs that he needed it, but he couldn't bare to do it to his friend. No matter how he begged.

“Take it from me- take it! ”

He's leaving.

“Etho, would you please-”

My ending is slipping away.

“You can fight me..!”

I don't have time to change this.

There was no way to cope, no time to. The walls were torn down and he had his back up against the clock tower. The skynet above looked like a web branching from its center peak, a reminder of the chaos no one could avoid. His position below an ironic twist but much expected. When there was no way, you'd gravitate to the familiar.

The dread had settled like a blanket on his shoulders. Not heavy nor debilitating. Barely acceptance however, with his silent message in his head. His missing commentary. His story never truly told.

Bdubs was himself was his only witness, yet unknowing to his fate. His death seen by others and not himself. Unplanned, unexpected- just the way the game works. No chance in beating it. It was not met with sadness, upset, anger. Never a grudge against the way it went.

A lonely moment of viewing. Then reunited. Then cheering. Now too distant to see him win, but ever eager to watch him from above just like before. Bdubs hadn't won his own conflict but he'd found his resolution.