#why did I do this? don't ask me even I don't know what my brain wants
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alhaithams-malewife · 1 day ago
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I remember getting into a heated argument with him over this issue, actually. (Adding a cut because this went on longer than I intended)
I was struggling with a very condescending and belittling client for about five or so months and eventually what he (client) said got to me more than usual. I don't remember the exact comment, but it was something along the lines of "you force yourself to be perfect and yet you're never good enough." Needless to say, I was pretty devastated.
So anyway, I went to Lambad's, probably gave myself liver problems during the... four hours I was there, I think? Per usual, Lambad had to call Alhaitham to come pick me up because according to him I had drank so much I was talking to the chair across from me thinking it was Cyno. Why him, I don't know. Maybe because it was around that time that he was, contrary to popular belief, the first person in our friend group to figure out that I had a massive crush on him (I hate using such childish terms, though.)
I woke up the next afternoon with a searing hangover, and if anyone knows me, they know I get really, really cranky when I'm like that. I walked over to my desk and... this is embarrassing, but I threw everything off the desk in a fit of rage directed at the client, my inability to please clients, and myself. Haitham walked in thinking I had fallen out of bed and instead saw me breaking down. The conversation went something like this:
Him, standing in the doorway: "So, are you still drunk, or are you just unable to control your emotions even when sober?"
Me, sitting at the now-empty desk with head in hands: "Shut up. What does it matter to you, anyway?"
🌱: "Because one, you interrupted my downtime. Two, I heard your tantrum through my soundproof earpieces. And three, I had to see if I needed to have you pay for damages to the house."
🏛️: "Oh, boohoo. All you ever have to worry about is money this, annoyance that." (Why did I ever say that?)
🌱: "As if your career isn't drawing boxes and lines. You're the most famous architect in Sumeru yet you don't own your own home. How sad."
Then, for some stupid reason, I threw a pen at him and yelled, "You have no idea how hard I work every single day and every single night just trying to make the clients happy. But no, they go and tell me no matter how hard I work, I'll never be good enough! Then there's you, who makes a huge salary without ever hardly moving from your desk! So of course I'm angry. Of course I'm going to let it slip!"
🌱: "Well, do you believe them?"
🏛️: "What do you think?!"
I don't remember what he said after that, I just slammed the door and left. Then it started raining hard and he pretty much dragged me home. I asked why he even cared, and he said to use my brain. ("...or are you that dense?") Those were pretty much the conclusions I came to, except for the one about my father. @ags-haitham You did what?! /lh
He probably meant what he said in the best way, though. Either way, I'd rather have petty arguments like this than be without him at all.
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"but what does he REALLY want with me?" my brooo, kaveh, Alhaitham does care about you just trust me, i'm the bedside lamp 😭
inspired by daikyto9
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aurumixm · 2 days ago
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HOW VIKTOR EMBODIES THE HEXCORE
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HEAVY S2 SPOILERS DOWN THE LINE!
discussions and theories about whatever tf happened at S2
Okay so first of all please bear with me with this, I ain't a League player and my English is very wonky wobbly. This is just me and my two brain cells rambling about Arcane season two and hypothesizing and stuff. Please be kind!
So I actually posted a brief explanation on what I think may cause the cuckoo bananas shit that happened in Season 2, Episode 3 entitled "The Instability of Hexcore" here's the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/arcane/s/CZdS4fgI7i
I try to swim through the waters to try and explain everything that happened there. Please keep in mind that this is purely theoretical and it merely serves as a post where y'all can discuss and share your thoughts and stuff!
I. An analogy of the Hexcore
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Think of the Hexcore as a Rubik’s cube (I know, yes, because it already looks like one). The Rubik's cube has an even amount of miniature cubes that complement each other to build one singular cube. The same with the Hexcore which contains Runes that compliment each other, which helps it learn and adapt. Although, upon trying to fix it, Viktor suspects that there's something ‘missing’ in it, something that can sustain the Hexcore’s adaptability process and therefore help it learn and evolve. However, the moment that Viktor tries to merge himself with the Hexcore with his blood and inject himself with shimmer at the same time, this action alone would be akin to forcing another color to a Rubik's cube, breaking the laws of space. Viktor's blood may have the ability to help the Hexcore evolve biologically, but shimmer, as it always does, makes it unstable. And if the instability of the shimmer is unable to affect the Hexcore itself, it will find a way for it to do so, and therefore explains the reason why it's spreading and affecting others.
II. Jesus Viktor HOW??
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How the hell did Viktor manage to heal himself and other people? My theory surrounds the three main components of the new and improved Hexcore: the Hexcore itself, blood, and shimmer. Once again, the Hexcore is the object of evolution and adaptability, and blood enhances its abilities by letting it adapt biologically. However, in terms of shimmer, in the entirety of the series, we are shown that there are good and bad effects of shimmer. The good effect: its ability to heal and regenerate. In my opinion, this fact also has something to do with Viktor's ability to heal himself and other people, but with a cost.
III. Why does Viktor himself and the people he healed are half metal now?
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The moment Jayce “combined” the Hexcore and Viktor's body together, they became one, which was also why the Hexcore was no longer to be found. However, back to the possible reason why Viktor became some sort of a cyborg, I think it happened to be because of his spinal brace? Considering how it was entirely attached to his skin too. Maybe the Hexcore in him realized from his spinal brace, metal can be an object to help people just like how it helped Viktor. Therefore, it also explains why when Viktor heals Huck, scraps of metal were magnetically embedded onto their bodies as well. The Hexcore knew how these metals helped Viktor, and therefore gave it an idea to make use of it in healing other people.
Additional idea from my friend's sister, credits to her!! When Viktor healed Huck he actually took or erased his impurities by spiritual means, a void was left which should have resulted in his death due to its inability to be physiologically viable. However, because both worlds (the spirit and the body) have to complete, connect, and complement each other, the physical voil must be replaced by the materials from the physical world which is metal.
Once again, these are just theories!! You can ask me in the comments for questions, clarifications and stuff yada yada. I personally love Jesus Viktor but I miss the goofy side of him in this Season ☹️. Much love! xoxo
Don't forget to drop your ideas, thoughts, and other theories!
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skeletboi · 1 day ago
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Intridimensional AU part 20! (So many parts 🤔)
First /// Previous /// Next
Also part 19.5 (silly extra sketch) here!
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Ford took off his sweater vest and laid it carefully over Stan's sleeping form before returning to Fiddleford's side. They had spent the last hour speaking with the other creatures hiding out in the cave and had come up with somewhat of a plan of action, but had decided to stay here for a few hours and rest. 
Stan had easily fallen asleep, turns out being used to napping wherever and whenever you could came in handy when you accidently fall through a portal. Ford and Fiddleford on the other hand, could not so easily shut their brains off. 
“Do you need help?” Ford asked as he watched Fiddleford attempt to organize the pile of gadgets the other refugees had given them with only one hand. 
“Definitely. But not with this.” Fiddleford replied. 
“Right.” Ford said, looking away. 
Fiddleford stayed silent as he continued to mess with the gadgets, and Ford accepted the silence for all of 30 seconds before speaking up again. 
“Fiddleford, I'm so sorry.” He said quietly. 
Fiddleford put down the gadget he was holding and looked up at the rocky wall across from him. 
“I know. Ya said that already, Stanford.” He said.
“I know I did. I just need you to know that. I never meant for any of this to happen. I had no idea what Bill was really like. I still haven't wrapped my head around it.” 
“Well maybe ya shoulda told me ‘bout him sooner.” Fiddleford sighed. “But then again, ya wouldn't a listened ta me then, either.”
“Or maybe you would have erased that memory.” Ford replied, immediately regretting it as Fiddleford finally turned towards him. 
Ford expected to see anger on his face, and wouldn't have blamed him if he did, but all that he saw was sadness. 
“That's prolly true.” Fiddleford said quietly. “I don't know how to deal with any a this, and honestly I'd like to erase it all right now and never turn back, but I have a son, Stanford. A son that will die with the rest of our dimension if we don’ do somethin’.” 
“Your son…” Ford replied quietly. “I was so caught up in all of this I forgot all about him.” 
“Yeah, well I didn't. I never did. Even when I left him behind to help you.” Fiddleford said with a humorless huff of laughter. “I ain't innocent in all this, Ford.”
“Maybe not innocent, but I'm the one who believed Bill and caused this.” Ford noted
“And I coulda said no from the beginning, but I couldn't bring myself ta do it… I left my son behind second ya called me.”
“You planned on going back in barely a month, Fidds. You can't blame yourself for that.”
Fiddleford looked back at the wall across from him before replying. “I didn't come to Gravity Falls to be part a history or whatever yer always sayin’. I came to Gravity Falls because ya asked me to, Stanford.”
Ford frowned at him in question and Fiddleford glanced back over at him.
“Fer bein’ so smart, ya sure are dumb.” Fiddleford said, huffing out a laugh. “I came when ya called ‘cuz I love you, Ford. I've loved you since ya burst into our dorm room talkin’ bout math. I tried to move on and started a family ‘cus I thought I'd never hear from you again.”
Ford floundered for a second before answering. “Fidds, I'm so sorry. You must know how I lov-”
“No.” Fiddleford said, cutting him off. “Don't go sayin’ that ta me jus’ ta make me feel better. Even in college I knew yer work would always be more important to ya than me. Maybe if I had focused on my own work instead a you we wouldn't be here.” 
“You know how much I care about you, Fiddleford. Can't I love you and my research? You love me and you love your wife! Why can't a man love two things?” 
“That ain't the same. I love my wife, but not in the way I love you. The way I love you is destructive, Stanford.” 
“It doesn't have to be!” Ford practically yelled, then caught himself and lowered his voice. “Maybe destructive is what we need. I know we wouldn't be here if I had listened to you in the first place. Maybe you don't want to hear it right now, but I do love you, Fiddleford, and I'm finally ready to listen. I need you. You keep me grounded.”
Fiddleford looked at him in silence for a moment before responding. “Maybe destructive is what we need. Jus’ promise me ya ain't gonna keep more secrets from me, and I'll do the same.”
“I promise.” Ford said, then leaned in and kissed him.
“Fucking finally!” Stan said, making Ford and Fiddleford tore away from each other and look over at him. 
“I was about to knock your heads together if you didn't get over yourselves.” Stan continued, ignoring their obvious embarrassment. “Watching you two pine over each other was more painful than getting my leg cut off.”
“Stanley! I thought you were asleep!” Ford said.
“And miss all that drama? Fuck no. I'm a light sleeper. Nerd arguments wake me up.”
“I don’ know if I'd call that a ‘nerd argument’.” Fiddleford noted. 
“Well it was!” Stanley responded. “We get it. We all fucked up. We're two amputees and the stupidest genius in the galaxy hiding from god-like geometric shape in a rock floating in space! But believe me, as someone who is close personal friends with rock bottom, it could definitely be worse. At least we all fell into the portal! Imagine if it was just you two! I wouldn't have a damn clue how to bring you back. The only way to beat a three-sided triangle is by being a functioning trio. That's math!”
“That was surprisingly inspiring.” Ford responded. 
“I'm inspiring as fuck!” Stanley said defensively. “The point is I'm happy you two nerd-idiots finally got your shit together. Now I can focus on interdimensional babes instead of trying to steal Fiddleford from under you, Ford!”
Ford pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in response.
“Prolly for the best, it was startin’ to work on me.” Fiddleford said thoughtfully. 
“It what?!” Ford asked, nonplussed. 
“I told ya he was charmin’, didn't I? Yer lucky I've loved you so much longer, Stanford.” Fiddleford said with a laugh as Ford glared at Stan. “Speakin’ of you bein’ charmin’, take this.” Fiddleford continued, handing Stan a watch-like gadget. “It's a translator. I'm thinkin’ you'll be the best at talkin’ to different people until I can get the supplies, and an arm, ta make two more.”
“Well it ain't a Rolex, but it'll have to do.” Stan said, putting it on his wrist. “But you two should actually get some sleep. We don't know when we'll be able to next. Just no fucking where I can hear it.” 
“Goddammit, Stanley. Maybe you shouldn't be the one with the translator.” Ford said as Stan laughed. 
“I think that's ‘xactly why he needs it. Quick thinkin’ to come up with those terrible jokes.” Fiddleford laughed. “But he's also right, we should be gettin' some sleep. We got a long journey ahead.”
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I try to make Fiddleford's accent more dramatic when he's stressed, but I'm not sure if that translates well? Whatever.
Next will be a comic, which may take me a bit of time to finish because I started my new job and it's like an hour and a half commute one way. So I spend 3 hours of my day driving, and 8.5 hours at work. Which means I am home not often. 🤷🏻
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half-dead-ham · 3 days ago
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Tim Drake's I.E.F Chap 3
[Previous chap][Ao3 chap][Masterlist][next chap]
I wanna say this real quick before this gets any deeper. This fic was my first, so I didn't know a whole lot about Batman and the Batfam? I'm not gonna change anything about it cuz growth and progress and shit like that (also I cringe looking at these first few chapters...) but I know a lot more about the DC verse now and I know some of this to be wildly inaccurate or OOC. I'm not apologizing. I just thought you should know ;)
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Galaxies on the brain, Dick wallows in the pain
Sore.
That's all Tim could feel. Sore and tired and heavy and cold. He could feel warm hands (weren't they supposed to be cold?) Holding him by the shoulders and knees. Something soft meets his back and he falls deeper into unconsciousness.
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Tim wakes up with a groan. His arm ached like he'd hung by Dick's trapeze for too long, his face felt itchy, and every time he took a breath his chest burned. His eyelids felt like lead and his head filled with cotton, he absently wondered what day he was on of no sleep when he'd finally collapsed.
As his thoughts swam the contents of the previous night (nights? How long was he asleep for?) Started to bubble to the surface of his consciousness. The stakeout, the full-bodied chill and his missing bug leading to the warehouse, sounds of gunshots and a closeup with a steel grey roof. After that, things get fuzzier. He remembered… Green, and white hair? Then an image of a galaxy came to him and he wondered if maybe he really had died.
Something to his right rustled and he struggled to pry open an eye enough to see. Dick was slumped in a chair next to his bed (when did he get to a bed?) reading over what seemed to be police reports. Tim tried to speak but when he went for air he came up in a coughing fit.
Dick's head snapped to attention as his little brother, now awake, tried to hack up what was left of his lung.
"Hey! Hey, Tim, you're okay. You're in the medbay in the Batcave. Calm down and try not to breathe too deeply okay?" Dick soothed as he reached for the glass of water with a straw Alfred had left for when Tim woke up.
As he watched his little brother get his breathing under control and take a small sip from the cup offered Dick felt his nerves settle for the first time that night. His brother was awake. Awake meant alive. Hurt, but alive. He settled back into his chair and shook out a relieved sigh.
"What are you doing here?" Even with the water Tim's voice sounded like he hadn't spoken in weeks.
"I said I'd be in Gotham for the weekend, didn't I? I got the call from your comm and picked you up from the warehouse district."
"Call?" Tim's voice cracked with confusion. "I don't remember sending a distress signal…" He trailed off as another hacking cough wracked through his frame. Dick held out the glass again and Tim gratefully took a longer drink.
"… What do you remember from last night?" Dick asked tentatively.
"I remember… the stakeout, my tracker going missing and following the signal to a warehouse by the docks…" Tim gasped, then cringed as the motion sent a jolt of pain down his front.
"I remember the thieves," he ground out. "I'd found their base of operations… but I was sloppy, I didn't notice one of the goons come up behind me until I'd already knocked him over. Then shit hit the fan… I remember making it out, and running, then I guess I got shot? It gets fuzzy from there…" He huffs, shaking the flashing images of white hair and swirling nebulas clear from his sleep addled mind.
He looks over to see Dick with a serious yet contemplative expression, looking down at the bedrest between them and nothing at all.
Curious and weary, Tim mutters a raspy "Why? Something happen?"
Dick seems to mull something over before shaking his head and looking up with a tired smile.
"Nothing serious enough to discuss right now. Why don't you get some more sleep Timmy? God knows you could use it."
Tim wanted to protest, he really did! But the sound of the heart monitor and that strangely familiar buzzing was already restuffing his head with cotton and his eyelids were getting heavier. That feeling of calm and safe washed over him again, sleep quickly following it. He nodded sluggishly and dove back into dreamland with his last thought ringing in his head; 'huh, the buzz sounds more like a purr now.'
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Danny was not freaking out. He wasn't! He was completely fine with being in the freaking Batcave because he was a hero too. Totally normal.
The sound that wanted to escape his throat was not a squeal. Anyone that told you it was is a liar. 
As he floated through the stalactites (stalagmites? He slept through that particular science class.) He had to physically stop himself from dropping his invisibility and glowing with the force of a neutron star. He was in the Batcave! Tucker and Sam would totally freak over this when he told them. Tucker would have an aneurysm over half the tech he'd seen since getting here (not that he wouldn't already have an aneurysm over him not checking in over the last three days) and Sam would have a field day with the aesthetic of the place. He didn't dare stray too far from his—(not his, no, that's not right) the vigilante he's protecting, which was, in fact, Timothy Drake-Wayne??
He has so many questions.
Like, why was Tim Drake, CEO of Wayne Enterprise, going around at night as Red Robin?? Not that he thinks it's wrong, or anything. Danny just feels like that's a lot of stress to have on a teenager's shoulders.
He knows from experience.
The fact that he's also seen Nightwing out of costume, as well as Robin, Orphan, and spoiler with their masks off has Danny feeling like he's seen them practically naked. Because, come on, Damian Wayne was Robin, Orphan was Cassandra Wayne, and Dick Grayson was Nightwing? He'd basically just learned Gotham's richest socialite family all lived double lives as superheroes! If he wasn't already fangirling about being in the Batcave ('the freaking Batcave, ancients end him!') he'd be rolling in his grave laughing and crying from the irony.
Kicking off the nearest stalagmite (stalactite? Still no clue) he floats back down to hover just above the main floor housing the Bat Computer (!!!) with Dick Grayson talking to someone on the other end.
"-have listened to him when he first brought it up a week ago, now he's in a hospital bed! Barbara what am I going to do, I feel like this is all my fault." He watched as Dick (Nightwing? Mr. Grayson?) slumped down in his seat and put his face in his hands. That faraway stare listlessly gazing at the keyboard through slits in his fingers.
Before he could startle the man out of his train of thought the woman from the other end of the call—Barbara, he remembered—spoke up.
"You know you can't blame yourself too badly for that, Dick. While the ribbing may have gone a bit further than you'd have liked, you couldn't have been able to save Tim from getting shot. You were still at least an hour outside the city limits when Tim went to follow the lead his… friend gave him." The way she said 'friend' told Danny she still didn't quite believe in his existence yet, and he was okay with that. As long as Red Robin—Tim?—knew he was there to help, he could let the other members of the batclan think he wasn't real.
A loud groan escapes the older man as he leans back to look at the ceiling of the cave.
"I know Babs," he bemoans, "But I still can't get those thoughts out of my head!" He reached up to message his temples with one hand as silence fills the cave. This time Danny is able to help his friends(?) brothers' turmoil by blowing a bit of frost out and directing it to the back of Dick's hand.
Startled, Dick's head whips around to either side of him, spinning the chair around to face away from the bat computer with a wary gaze before slowly rotating back. He stared at his hand, the one that had previously been nursing his headache and the one that had been covered in frost.
At least, he thought it was.
Dick recalls when Alfred had first pulled off Tim's first aid bandages. He hadn't even changed out of his gear, needing to see the extent of the damage to his little brother, only to watch as green tinged blue ice was revealed to be keeping him together. The ice kept the hole from tearing and bacteria from entering his punctured lung. Alfred shared a look with Dick, confirming that he wasn't the only one seeing the strange ice. As they tried to touch the ice though -get a sample for analysis- it, along with the glove being used as a tourniquet, sublimated away to mist. Leaving the now gaping wound in his brother's side and arm to weep blood, slow and thick.
He left for the showers after that. Better to let a professional patch his brother up than someone with shaking hands and blurry vision.
"Do you think Tim's imaginary friend is a meta?" The words escaped Dick's lips before he'd realized he'd thought them. Refocusing as he heard Babs hum pensively.
"With what you've told me about the magic ice that sealed Tim's wounds, it's possible," she mused. The soft tapping if a keyboard registered on the mic as she pulled something up
"The thing is though, there aren't any registered or rumoured metas with an ice-like powerset in or around Gotham. If there were, we'd be seeing more of them somewhere, ice power sets tend to be flashier." More tapping, then a pained huff came through the speakers.
"It doesn't help that I can't seem to restore Tim's footage from after he fell off the roof," she grumbles.
"What do you mean 'can't restore it'? Even with his mask torn the way it was, the cameras in the lenses should've been working fine."
"That's the thing though! His mask only cut after he fell, it was working perfectly up till that point, then this static whine comes on over the audio and the video glitches out before cutting to static until you find him. It wasn't a signal jammer or EMP, both would do damage to more than just his camera, and a jammer would leave a trace of interference." Her groan echoes through the cave, bringing a small smile to Dick's face as she continues.
"The comm too, if something had tampered with it I'd be able to tell! And yet there's no evidence of tampering and I have a recording of some almost unintelligible mess of a voice talking to us over the main line. Right beside ours that come over with perfect clarity. It just doesn't make sense!"
A chuckle couldn't help but escape Dick's lips as Babs let out a defeated huff on her end. Glancing back towards the medbay he recalled the few times Tim tried to tell him about his patrol companion.
"A snowflake in September," he mumbled pensively, gaze sinking down to his hand again. Then with sudden clarity, he whipped his head up and scanned the Batcave more closely than before, squinting up into the dark corners of the high ceiling.
At one point Danny thought Dick had caught him somehow, the odd cold spot in the area. His shoulders sagged in quiet relief when the vigilantes' eyes swept over where he was floating.
A cold spot in a cold cave isn't odd, after all, and the sensors weren't displaying anything unusual.
Dick glanced back to his hand one more time before turning back to the bat computer and telling Barbara he'd give her an update on Tim's situation in the morning. Saying their 'sleep well's' Danny watched as Dick shut off the giant computer, checked in on Tim one more time then headed to the elevator.
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Tim woke up quicker than he had previously. The smell of breakfast wafted to the medbay even from all the way upstairs and his stomach rolled in hunger. Something cold was sitting over Tim's wound, pressing into it but strangely not hurting him in any way. The cold felt familiar, comfortably cool but not chilling, and he could faintly make out a low hum -purr?- coming from somewhere to his left. He cracked one eye open to see both what was in him and the origin of the purr, when the pressure on his wounds released. The lightness around his shoulder probably meant there was another cold comforting thing there he hadn't noticed before. Prying both eyes open fully he looked around the small patient room and realized the purring had stopped and that he was alone. He wasn't awake enough yet to wonder why that was strange, just happy when he heard the ding of the elevator open.
Someone in the Batcave meant he could get some food, after all.
Dick poked his head into Tim's room a few seconds later, a bowl of what appeared to be Cream of Wheat in his hand. He gave a smile, seeing his little brother awake, and let his body follow his head into the room. Setting the bowl down on a pull out table for Tim, Dick chipperly asked "how are you feeling, Timbo?"
"Like I decided taking Bane one-on-one was a good idea," he groaned. Sitting up enough so he could eat, he watched Dick give a half-hearted chuckle while staring into the mid-distance. Half remembering the conversation he had with his older brother last night while spooning the warm cereal into his mouth, he looked around and sarcastically commented between bites, "sooo, you gonna tell me what was on your mind when I woke up before? Or do I have to figure it out myself?"
The comment startled Dick more than it should have, and as Tim frowned at the reaction Dick turned his head, his gaze sweeping the room before he spoke.
"That imaginary friend of yours," Tim cut his brother off with another groan.
"If you're still going to make fun of me for that-" Dick raised his hand, trying to pacify the conversation before he could finish.
"Don't worry Timmers, I believe you now. I should have believed you when you brought it up the first time and I'm sorry for that."
Tim almost groaned again when he felt the tension drop from his shoulders, jostling his arm. He wiggled in his bed to readjust himself before allowing Dick to continue.
"I was going to ask if you knew anything more about them. They've been following you around for a month, right? Do you know if they pose any risk to you or the family?"
Tim shoved another spoonful of the gruel into his mouth, it was bland, but it gave him something to distract him from the fact that Dick had steamrolled over an actual apology and went straight to business.
Shaking his head as he swallowed his mouth full down, he began.
"While I don't know much other than they can apparently make ice from nothing and make things glow, I can say they don't have any ill intent. They saved me Dick, after I fell from the roof they caught me and… I think they got the guys chasing me off my back."
He ignored the images of a black-clad white-haired figure flitting through his mind with another mouth full of cereal.
Dick sighed, none of the bats liked not knowing things about what's happening to them, but the fact that the entity following Tim saved him from a bad fall released some tension from the older birds shoulders.
"So you don't think it would do anything to hurt you? I need to make sure, Tim."
They both shivered as a sudden chill filled the room. Pretending not to notice Tim answered, "no, I don't think the thing that's been following me on patrols, helping me with cases, protecting me for a month would hurt me now after all this time."
Was it weird Tim thought that so surely? A little bit. But with the way the room warmed up just as quickly as it cooled had him realising that maybe he and his brother weren't the only ones in the room. Now that he focused, he could feel the quiet cold sitting behind him.
It had never followed him to the cave before.
'Shit.'
The implications of something potentially dangerous being able to make its way into the Batcave, a heavily protected and monitored fortress of a hideout had Tim shivering for a different reason. If B ever found out, he'd have Tim's neck.
He also realized he could hear the thing purring again. 'Like a big cat,' the thought made him huff a laugh, it certainly did seem like he'd taken in a stray, an invisible, cold, possibly monstrous stray, but a stray nonetheless. The purr grew louder to Tim following his laugh and that same feeling of safety washed over him again, like a blanket.
Tim turned around—really just craned his neck, he couldn't really move otherwise—to try to pinpoint where the purr was coming from exactly, but when he faced away from Dick the comfortable noise stopped dead. The feeling of safety stopped with it, making Tim wonder darkly if the creature was intentionally making Tim think it was safe to gain his trust. He pushed that thought away as soon as it came, if it did intend to hurt him, it would be Tim's fault for trusting it.
Turning back around he found Dick watching him. Mumbling a weak and slightly annoyed "what?" He shovelled another spoonful of the now room temperature cereal.
Dick shook his head. 'So the thing following Tim really did come back to the cave with us,' it didn't bode well for them to have a potentially dangerous sentient creature of unknown origin in the cave, but if his brother thought so highly of the thing, he supposed he could let it stay his secret for now. Dodging the question he drawled, "you know, there isn't any footage on your feed from after you slid off that roof."
The "what?" That came from his brother this time sounded less annoyed and more confused, so he counted that as a win.
"That doesn't make sense, my mask wasn't that badly damaged in my escape, or the display would have told me." He watched his brother's brow furrow in thought.
"Yeah, Babs is pulling her hair out because of it. Apparently after you go over this whine comes over the audio and both cut to static until I find you."
The faces his brother was making would be funny if he weren't so curious about it. Seeing his expression finally land on clarity Dick urged "you know what happened?"
"I think I do," Tim admitted. "I heard a buzzing… it didn't have any source that I can remember, so maybe that's what caused it?"
"A buzzing? That could be it, I didn't hear anything when I found you, so it lines up for when the feed comes back."
Noticing the bowl in front of Tim is now, in fact, empty, Dick figures that maybe now should be where he cuts the conversation. The voice over the comms can be addressed once his brother's gotten some more rest. He stands, takes the bowl from the table and turns to leave when he hears Tim mutter a quiet "wait."
Dick stops paces from the door and turns to face his brother. Tim seems to fight with himself for a moment before he ground out "thanks for believing me, finally."
He doesn't look up to see his older brother's reaction, but the smile could be heard in his voice.
"Of course, Tim, I'm sorry I didn't believe you sooner." With that said, he walks out feeling lighter, and yet with more questions than when he walked in.
Danny watches as Tim sinks into his bed, mindful of his injuries. The bats know about him, with that fact alone he should be leaving, yet even now his core urged him to stay and protect. 
He knows staying is only going to lead to trouble.
He doesn't want to leave.
Leaving means going back to that rundown dump of a townhouse he's been squatting in for the last three months, doing odd jobs around town during the day just to get a bit to eat (not that he needed to eat much with all the ambient ectoplasm in the air) and going back to looking over his shoulder for the GIW or, ancients forbid, his parents.
A soft "hey" breaks him out of his anxious thoughts, and looking over he sees Tim looking in his general direction. The goosebumps on his unbandaged arm tell Danny that he may have made the temperature dip again, unintentionally this time, and he makes a conscious effort to raise it back up to a more comfortable level.
"I know you're there." The sudden admittance made him jump, but Tim continued on, "I know what I saw last night was you. You saved me and I wanted to thank you. Not just for the save, but also the lead on the ghost thieves. For whatever reason you're reluctant to show yourself, and knowing some of my family you have every right to be, but maybe some sign you aren't just some hallucination or actual imaginary thing would be nice? I kinda feel like I'm talking to an actual ghost here." The last bit came out with a chuckle on both ends, Tim for how crazy he feels talking to an empty room and Danny for just how close Tim got with that quip.
Another internal struggle for Danny, oh joy. Revealing himself would be bad, but maybe something small? Tim already knows he makes ice to some capacity, and he's asking so nicely, Danny thought it wouldn't hurt, right?
On the table in front of Tim, where his bland breakfast previously rested a small statuette slowly materialized from condensing mist. Tim watched as the small mound of green tinged ice formed a base, then on nearly invisible supports a nebulous disk spread out. An icy galaxy sat before Tim, about as big as his hand, and it moved. Even after finishing its creation, the edges twisted and swirled in a continuous dance. He could see glittering stars and fluctuating nebulas as tiny clouds of glittering snow.
It was mesmerizing.
Reaching out to touch it, Tim was surprised at how solid it was. It was like touching compacted sand, if they had stuck the sand in an ice box overnight. Ever so gingerly he took the galaxy off its supports and cupped it in his hand. Despite it being made of ice entirely it gave off a strange warmth. It reminded Tim of holding a warm cup of coffee and relaxing with his family. He had to remind himself to breathe as he put the statuette back on its pedestal. The warmth lingered on his palm as he again searched for the cold spot.
It was right in front of him, and he could tell it was watching his reaction. Carefully, he reached out, like he'd done before on that night he'd decided to befriend the strange creature. Unlike before though, his fingers brushed against something. Fabric, he could feel it but there was still nothing to see. His hand slid down what must have been an arm before feeling a fisted hand just over the bed near his thigh. It was tense, and as the cold familiarity of the hand he was holding set in he realized the being sitting on the bed in front of him was afraid. He could feel the quiet anxiety coming off in cold waves, and he had to wonder what it was afraid of.
Tim shifted for better balance and the hand underneath his flinched. Was it… was it afraid of Tim? Afraid of what Tim would do if he knew it was real? That both did and didn't make sense. The being in front of Tim was powerful, he had no doubt it could level all of Gotham if it wanted to, and none of the bats would be able to stop it (not for lack of trying, of course) and yet it was afraid of Tim. Tim, the guys that practically lived off coffee and 5-hour energies, Tim the one that accidentally falls asleep at the batcomputer so regularly Alfred had a specific blanket tucked away just for him. That Tim.
The hand below his flexed again and he realized it must be waiting on an answer. With what he hoped was a reassuring pat to the back of the gloved hand before him, he smiled and snickered, "now, was that so hard?"
The fact that while the hand hadn't moved, the waves of anxious cold he felt warmed up had Tim cheer a silent victory. Trying to look in the direction of where the beings head could be, he continued.
"I get it if you don't wanna show yourself, I really do, but maybe you could keep me company? I probably got six to eight weeks laying in this bed, and I don't know about you, but I'll probably die of boredom before that's up." He chuckles, and going off of the way he feels the hand underneath him bounce, he guessed the thing in front of him does too.
"So yeah, you're welcome to stay, if you want. Maybe help me pull a prank or two, and I know that no matter what you are, you're going to love Alfred's cooking."
Well shit, Danny basically just got the go ahead to haunt the Wayne family, by one of the Waynes. He feels like he should be honoured? Sure the fact he doesn't want to go back to living in that stupid townhouse is another driving factor, but having a friend that doesn't mind his ghosty bits outside of Sam and Tucker sounds really appealing. It doesn't help that he's been really lonely.
Tim feels the hand slide out from under his. Before he can marvel at the fact they did it without making any sound, or mourn the loss of the comforting cold he watches as the galaxy statuette lifts off its base. The statuette hovers above the table for a few moments, then raises and dips repeatedly, straight up and down. Tim laughs at what could only be described as the floating statue nodding at him, before being set down on its base.
"Well I guess that settles it then," he laughs, "if you're going to be around more often, I'll need something to call you though." The room temperature takes a dive, not as cold as before, but still noticeable.
"Okay, I'm going to guess you either don't have a name, "the room temp doesn't change " or have a name but can't or don't want to say it." The room slowly warms up at that. So it has a name but can't use it. Tim can work with that.
"Well, how about I give you a name until you can tell me your real one? I'm not as good as Damian in naming things but I'm sure I can think of something." A hum heard and Tim begins to think of what he could call his new friend. Remembering the white hair he saw the night before and what was probably the same figure as a nebula had his eyes wandering to the statuette sitting prettily before him. So the being either likes space or space themed things (did it come from space? An actual alien? Just another thing to think about.) Trying to recall the knowledge he gained from the few times he's gone stargazing, a name pops into Tim's head that makes him want to laugh.
"How do you like the name Arcturus? If I remember right it's one of the brightest stars and it looks white when you see it in the sky."
The reaction he gets is instantaneous, a loud purr reverberates throughout the small room and this time Tim does laugh.
"I suppose that's as good of a 'yes' as I'll get. Good to finally meet you Arcturus." He holds out a hand before realizing that a handshake probably wasn't going to happen. Before he could take his hand back he felt the hand he was holding previously snake into his and grip it gently. He smiled and shook it, absently noting the claws he could feel poking at the back of his hand.
"I feel like this will be the start of a beautiful friendship," he grins.
A puff of frost in his face has him snort and grin in the direction of his new friend.
Yeah, this'll be interesting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Ao3][Prev][Next]
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belladonnadawn · 15 hours ago
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Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
"Too impaired by my youth to know what to do." You learned the hard truth that love is never enough to make someone stay. Andrew Marston x Reader (Thank you for oomfie @soscarlett1twas for helping me choose the title!) Masterlist!
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Settling in a new life with him is one of the biggest decisions in your life. You would be lying if you said that there's no anxiety and guilt looming over you during that processs. But you knew that those were nothing compared to a life with him.
Over time, the words from other people became a distant past– muffled by what you felt with him and what you have with him. It felt like he truly knew you from your skin to your bones. He saw your flaws, knew the skeletons in your closet and he still loved you.
The days with him were brighter, the skies were clearer, and you were the happiest that you have ever been.
But seasons are not unchanging.
There was a sudden shift in the air, you knew it when his smiles does not meet his eyes. When his kisses weren't as deep as before. When the warmth in his touches suddenly grew colder and colder.
You knew when and what changed– but you don't know why.
You convinced yourself that it's a phase– when honeymoon phase ended, you'll enter another phase in your relationship. Maybe it was his job, especially on how tedious it can get. It happens all the time and couples survive. You and Andrew will survive.
Until you got a whiff of the perfume.
It filled your lungs in a suffocating manner— the scent leading to a new territory you did not want to traverse. For now, you turned away, holding your breath as you hugged him home.
As you pulled away you gave him the sweetest smile you could muster, carrying the thought that eases your fears– even for a while.
It's not uncommon for him to interact with other people. It's not uncommon.
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The dim glow of the lamp filled the room as midnight crept in. Your body ached after a busy day of work and running errands. Despite that, you were happy that you had something to take your mind off of your relationship with him.
Staring at the empty space, you closed your eyes and traced his side of the bed. His absence made you miss him more and you wonder if he misses you too. With a deep sigh, you calmed yourself down. You began to plan tomorrow, wanting to surprise him to lessen his load. Especially now that Andrew has been working hard after picking up late night shifts.
Your ears perked up at the silent sound of the door opening. Sitting up, you smiled as Andrew walked in your shared bedroom, but that smile quickly faded as his eyes didn't meet yours. What caught you is his expression, it was filled with exhaustion– almost somber.
"How's work?" You broke the silence, hoping to break the ice.
"It's the same," Andrew answered with a sigh, giving you a tight lipped smile.
For a while, silence filled the room; the one pulling you down in your thoughts and leaving you unsure. The sounds of his clothes ruffling as he got ready for bed was the only noise heard in the room, otherwise it was silent.
Gathering the strength that you have, you asked him the question you've been itching to get an answer from, "Are you okay?"
Andrew nodded, sitting beside you. He sighed, eyes downcast as he seems to be lost in his thoughts.
"I need to tell you something that has been weighing in my mind."
As those words leave his mouth, you can feel yourself tense up, bracing yourself for the news that he might bear.
Andrew spoke, his voice quiet and vulnerable, "These past few weeks I've been feeling some things… I– This feeling lingered more than I thought it would. And I don't think I can hide it from you anymore…"
You swallowed, trying to rationalize his statement, racking your brain if you did something to hurt him intentionally or unintentionally.
His eyes looked at you once more– you wished he never did. Those eyes that looked with you with adoration and love is now devoid of it. Something inside you died the moment your eyes met and you wish he knew that.
"I am… I deeply apologize for the hurt that I caused or I may cause you. I don't feel the same way anymore. I'm sorry."
You felt your heart drop as tears well up in your eyes. It was the last thing that you expected. The pain squeezed your heart tightly, draining every hope and possibility that this can still be mended. It was the end and you were there to witness it.
"Is there someone else?" Your mouth ran faster than your brain.
"I…"
Your eyes widened at his hesitance. The thought that it couldn't hurt more couldn't be more wrong at that moment. Now, you were beyond shattered. "Andrew?"
"I don't want you to think that—"
"Is there someone else?" Your voice firm and unwavering. If he can't give you happiness, you want him to give you honesty at least.
Andrew looked at you once more as he slowly nodded, confirming your deepest fears. He spoke once more, his voice small almost quiet, "Yes, I'm sorry."
Time went still as your world crumbled. You were rendered speechless as his words continues to ring in your head. There's someone else. He's in love with someone else.
Andrew held your hand, "I don't want to hurt you, because deep down in my heart I still love you. But I can't lead you on. You deserve someone who won't hurt you like this. You deserve better." He squeezes his hold gently, but somehow it never stopped you from breaking.
"But what if you're the one that I want?" Words struggled to leave your mouth as you spoke through your sobs.
"I'm sorry."
Closing your eyes, you cried harder. You were conflicted between wanting to curse him out or beg him to stay. But what would those do if you're don't have a hold on his heart anymore?
So you stood up, packed your belongings, and left. The once muffled sounds that you've drowned out came back to haunt you again. This time, you agreed. You really were naive.
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Divider: Cafekitsune
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m00nkissedlover · 1 day ago
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・。sick day 🌡️
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"inside this place is warm, outside it starts to pour"
regulus black x sick! reader | word count: 902 words
summary: in which regulus takes care of you while you're sick 🌡️
warnings: none!
note: since i'm sick rn, i decided to write this little self indulgent fic :D
you had thought that dancing around in the rain would be fun and romantic, right? wrong. a few days ago, your rather plain date with regulus in the hogwarts courtyard was interrupted by a sudden shower of rain. despite it not being a downpour, it was still quite a bit of rain. and as regulus ran for cover, holding his bag over his head, you stayed put. you even stood up, twirling and skipping around on the rain.
"y/n, get over here!" regulus had yelled, trying to fight the smile forming on his lips.
"no, you get over here! let's dance in the rain!" you suggested, not having a care in the world.
regulus just rolled his eyes before quickly running out to pull you back inside.
"look at you, you're soaked." he muttered, taking off his jacket and putting it around your shoulders as he shook his head.
"don't come crying to me when you get sick..." you just smiled at him, finding his curly wet hair and slightly flushed cheeks rather adorable.
"don't worry. i'll be fine, reggie." you'd come to eat those words.
fast forward to present day, you're tucked under your duvet cover, sneezing and sniffling, coughing and grumbling due to the slight pain in your throat. and who was sat in a chair right by your bedside wringing out a rag to put on your forehead? none other than the same slytherin who'd yelled for you to take cover with him inside.
"and this is why we don't dance around in the rain." he quipped, earning himself an annoyed groan from you.
"but it was fun..." "and look where your 'fun' got you." you frowned at his remark, sneezing and letting out a miserable grumble.
"bless you." regulus said, feeling your forehead with the back of his hand.
"you're still pretty warm..." he muttered to himself, placing the cool rag on your forehead.
"how are you so good at this?" you mumbled quietly, sniffling a few times.
"sirus used to take care of me all the time when i'd get sick as a child. i picked up a thing or two." you found it incredibly sweet that regulus had decided to spend his day caring for you instead of doing...anything else really.
your eyes followed him as he stood up and went to get a small, brown glass bottle from his bag. he sat back down, shaking the bottle before uncapping it and pouring some of its contents into the cap.
"what's that?" you asked, your eyes going from the green-ish liquid to regulus's face.
"medicine. you have to take 3 capfuls." he explained, bringing the cap to your lips. some of the liquid slipped past and you immediately frowned, your face scrunching up and a weird noise leaving your lips. it tasted awful.
"are you trying to kill me right now, regulus black? what in merlin's name is that?" you asked, the bitter taste still on your tongue.
regulus scoffed, rolling his eyes as he poured another capful. "y/n, you won't get any better if you don't take medicine. i got this specially from ms. pomfrey. she says it'll make you better in no time. now come on, open up."
as regulus brought the cap to your lips again, you stopped it by putting a hand over your mouth. "nuh uh!" you exclaimed, shaking your head, getting a frustrated huff from regulus.
"if you take it i'll....give you a kiss or whatever." he mumbled.
""or whatever?" now i definitely don't want to take it." regulus raked his brain, thinking of a way to get you to take the disgusting excuse for medicine.
"if you don't take it, i'll tell pandora you broke her hand mirror."
a slight look of surprise spread across your features as regulus mentioned the broken mirror. "how did you even know about that? i mean, i'm planning on buying her a new one, but still." "i have my ways. now take the medicine."
you stared at the capful of medicine, finally caving. you took the cap from regulus, downing the bitter tasting liquid before pouring another and drinking that too. you sputtered and spit in the air, your features scrunching as you frowned.
"there you go. want me to make you some tea to mask the taste?" regulus ask, gently tracing over your cheek with his finger. you nodded, muttering a quick "please."
as regulus fluffed some pillows for you to sit up against, you held a mug of steaming tea, the warmth emanating from it spreading through your whole body. you let out a content sigh, your eyelids a little droopy as you glanced at your boyfriend.
"thanks for taking care of me regulus." you hummed, scooting over and patting the empty space next to you.
"if not me, who else would care for you?" regulus debated for a few seconds before sitting next to you, intertwining his fingers with yours as you rested your head on his shoulder.
your heart warmed, not just from the tea, but from regulus's actions and words. you could tell that you were the apple of his eye. after a few moments of talking, you started to feel sleepy, your eyes fluttering shut.
regulus reached over and turned off the bedside lamp, gently kissing the back of your hand as he watched you drift off. maybe sick days really weren't all that bad.🌡️
© m00nkissedlover, 2024
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liliox-ciel · 4 months ago
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✨ Limbukubu Company ✨
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 month ago
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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shirogane-oushirou · 14 days ago
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
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[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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izzy-b-hands · 1 year ago
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today should be a t break day
bc I'll need it to be more effective in the coming days if we see family, and then I'll have the survey shifts
but since late last night i keep randomly nearly breaking into tears and thinking abt the stupidest shit that needs to stay in the box in my brain
so idk. maybe it will be. it is thus far. but I'm not leaving my room without a container of some edible or another in my pocket either
#text post#no idea where the fuck this came from and it kept me up until fucking four in the fucking morning#but only NEARLY crying my body/brain still won't let me FULLY cry#and i did email my prior doc with a 'can i ask u just abt this one current symptom and if it is abt what i think & ill send u 20 bucks even'#she said no to the twenty bucks but said yeah it does sound like my ptsd has been triggered by multiple things over the last year#and the not being able to cry is a part of it. my body's trying to protect me from feeling anything abt it and breaking down#and part of that means not letting the tears fall so there's no physical acknowledgement of any feelings#which is what i was thinking was going on but it's nice to confirm it with someone who knows their shit#doesn't fix it but at least i know.#the thing is that the triggers are like. good? bc im in a healthier safer environment now with ppl that don't do what my mum & fam do to me#but it means my brain is learning just how much of a lot of it Wasn't Normal and was actually Pretty Harmful and that's.#i want my brain to just accept and get over that already tbh. okay so that's the case it doesn't change anything????#why are we still thinking abt it and having feelings over it at this point bc that feels like a waste of time#there are no apologies I'll get for things that happened from when i was younger and there's no closure it just Is What It Is#I'm tired of even wanting to cry over it when I'd rather be throwing myself into making money & being productive art-wise#it manages to interrupt so many fucking facets of my life like#whatever. anyway considering a music au new draft where ed and izzy meet seth. and immediately offer to kill him for Pickles aksnsjfnfgj
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zackmartin · 7 months ago
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Z THE CONCEPT OF YOU REBOOTING VALIANT KNIGHT LITERALLY HAS ME FROTHING AT THE MOUTH. it literally never left my head i am always thinking about it at least a little bit. literally recently i came up with a concept for how some of my original characters for my spinoff would fit into valiant knight fnsnskdj and so i technically have like a rewrite/sequel concept that includes zenry and jasper/[redacted] fnsmdnkxnsn which included me rereading the chapters i beta'd for you to remember some details and i was like UGH THIS WAS SO GOOD I MISS IT
LASKDJOSKJVMODKMVLDSKJFSOKJFSLDKFJ HELLO?????????? ARE YOU AWARE THAT I'D LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU???? CAUSE I SERIOUSLY WOULD LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU!!!!! BUT AHHHHHHHHHHH
SERIOUSLY THOUGH, THIS IS ONE OF THE HIGHEST COMPLIMENTS I'VE EVER RECEIVED, I'M LEGIT GONNA CRY (affectionate), I'VE BEEN STARING AT THIS ASK FOR LIKE SIX HOURS, LIKE THERE AREN'T ENOUGH WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TO ARTICULATE HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME
but seriously, like I'm not trying to rag on my writing or anything, but I also know like. I'm not writing anything that's gonna be winning awards anytime soon or anything ground-breaking or anything, but that's never been my goal; and I just say all of that to say that the fact that you're still thinking about something of mine years later and it stuck with you so much that you want to put your own characters into it??????? That's literally so wild to me in the best way, I can't get over it. I'm so serious when I say again that this legit one of the best compliments I've ever received. (Also, if you're willing, I'd very much like to hear about this rewrite/sequel of sorts)
You have me legit thinking about it now. Like I told Pearl in the replies, I feel like my writing is leagues better (i reread stuff from that time period and just cringe now; but to be fair to my past self, she was a novice who was coming back to writing after a 10+ year break so it stands to reason) so I feel like I could do a lot more with it. There's soooo much of that world I want to flesh out that I wasn't skilled enough to do when I first started it. lsakdjf idk man, I might actually do it
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monster-noises · 8 months ago
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I am experiencing... frustration.
#monster noises#why must the ideas you can see the clearest in your head be the hardest to capture?#I'm trying to make a new phone lock screen#(currently I'm using the drawing of laz and heis on the motorcycle and while I looove that image it's been there for a few years now)#and I have a very Precise Idea of what I want it to be#in the same style as I did my FaHI playlist cover#but I can't seem to get the thumbnail looking in anyway Correct#and it's really..... frustrating........... and disheartening#then when I try and like actually figure out what I need to Fix it's like my brain blanks out and I"m stumbling around completely clueless#and then I just start uselessly spiraling and just AUGH#why can't I have the kind of brain that hits a barrier and proceeds to problem-solve?#why do I have to have a brain that hits a barrier and just.. rolls over in defeat#not even a tantrum or a breakdown#just#0 resistance laying down and giving up#it's stupid and I'm mad about it but I still don't know what to do about it at all#I wish I could explain it in a way that would allow someone to maybe be able to help me actually#cause it seems every time I try there's always some fundamental misunderstanding about Which Step In The Process Is Challenging#like that one time I tried asking about it on twitter#asking if anyone had resources for How to be better at learning from and interpreting references/doing studies#or just learning for art purposes in general (in a way that won't cause me to Break Down)#and people linked a bunch of how-to's on how to Draw from Reference#and I know those /Sound/ like the same thing but they arrrrren't#and I know those people's heart's were in a good place but I know How to use a reference#I know How to do a life drawing or a study#I get it on a practical level#but there is something fundamental to the process of interpreting and understanding what exactly I'm doing that I just...#Don't Have#and That's really really Really hard to explain#it's like how I'm actually good at math I just can't do word problems because I can't glean what is required of me from a word problem.
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galmiahthepigeon · 1 year ago
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Oh I'm so embarrassed about the reaction I'm having to The News
#my friends Robin and Leo started dating recently. which would be wonderful if not for the fact that i like Leo. a lot#and it's stupid for me to be upset about this bc i was not going to get into anything with Leo anyways#I don't think they like me like that and i was content with things being platonic between us#but thinking that they like another person over me is making me feel bad. WHICH AGAIN IS SO DUMB#LIKE. I GET IT. I'M NOT LEO'S TYPE AND ROBIN IS. SIMPLE AS THAT. THAT DOESN'T REFLECT ON OUR VALUE IN LEO'S LIFE OR OUR VALUE IN GENERAL#I KNOW#BUT IT'S STILL UPSETTING ME LIKE CRAZY#I'M SO EMBARRASSED I CAN'T BE THINKING ''what does he have that i don't'' THAT'S SO LAMEEE AND IT'S A FLAWED WAY TO LOOK AT IT.#but wait the story is even funnier#bc one time we went out clubbing and Leo was doing this thing where he tries to make out with as many ppl as possible#he had gotten to 7 so i sad wanna make it 8? and they said yea and we kissed for a bit#AND APPARENTLY. I NOW FIND OUT. THAT ROBIN STOLE MY PICKUP LINE THAT LITTLE GREMLIN#AND THAT'S THE WAY HE ASKED LEO OUT#I'M GOING TO EXPLODE#even more embarassing#is the fact that my first immediate reaction to finding this all out was to think ''oh now i REALLY need to get into something with Draxx''#Draxx is a friend that I'm kinda into. Leo introduced me to him at a party recently.#Leo does not have any sort of attraction towards him. so why did my brain plot it as some sort of poetic revenge? no fucking clue honestly#I'm upset and none of my thoughts are rational rn#don't even know why my brain wanted any revenge in the first plane it's all so absurd#big stupid feelings that I'm obviously not sharing with anyone involved#jealous and for what
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mrfoox · 9 months ago
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Me: haha, I'm over that thing that happened over a year ago, lol, I don't think about it and-
Also me: -suddenly talks about it and gets hit with the same feelings as back then- aa, shit /:
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boyapologist · 10 months ago
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shit shit shit what if we have a pilot incapacitation. I feel SICK
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nightingale-prompts · 3 months ago
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Danny adopts himself
It's a common joke in Gotham that Bruce Wayne will adopt any black-haired and blue-eyed traumatized boy he finds. So much so that even he leans into it. But he was completely shocked when Damian confronts him about having a new brother that he did not want.
Bruce could barely get a word in when the rest of the family arrived upset that they weren't told about getting another sibling after Damian texted the family group chat (for once).
Damian had encountered a boy around Drake's age moving stuff into what was an empty room. The room was now furnished top to bottom with glowing green lights, tapestries of stars, random artifacts, several telescopes, and model rockets.
He knew the moment he saw the black hair and blue eyes that his father had taken in another ward.
Apparently Bruce was the last the know about his new "son" who was currently rearranging furniture and asking to help Alfred with dinner.
Said dinner was an uncomfortable as Bruce was grilled by his kids on his addiction to adoption. Simultaneously they tried to get to know the new addition to the family.
It was easy to see that Damian didn't like Danny but it was equally easy to see that Danny could cow the boy like a border collie on a lamb. When Damian thew a dagger the teen caught it with one hand as it passed his face and then slid it across the table back to Damian.
"Try again. " Danny said "And this time don't aim to miss on purpose. If you want me dead you need to do better."
Damian put the knife away and huffed.
Tim and Danny hit it off almost instantly. The way they were able to bounce their thoughts back and forth made Tim believe that he found an equal.
Danny was able to understand Cassie immediately with just look in eachothers eyes like he was reading her mind but not in a creepy way.
Jason of course noticed the strange energy in the air around the kid. It was soothing. Like lavender wafting in the air. Well lavender for everyone else for him it was like opium. His eyes felt heavy like he had eaten a handful of poppy seeds. At the same time he felt full, like he had eating a full meal after starving for a week.
Whatever it is Damian was feeling it too. The demon looked even more his age as he rubbed his eyes and yawned. The crease in his brow gone.
Duke on the other hand was more on edge as his eyes flickered towards Danny before looking away. He had something he wanted to ask about the glowing boy but since no one can see it or just isn't saying anything he will keep quiet for now.
Next was Barbara who teased the new kid.
"So how do you like your new family? Ready to be the new robin?" She asked.
"Im robin." Damian mumbled groggily.
The others were waiting for Damian to finally fall asleep and glared at one another in a challenge to be the one to pick up Damian and put him to bed. Dick was winning.
Speaking of Dick, as expected he was off the wall excited to learn more about his new little brother. He wanted the full story as to why Bruce took him in. He could almost certainly guess it was because of a tragic situation and Dick was already ready to handle it as the greatest big brother ever and he wasn't sharing the title no matter what Barbara said. Even if she was Stephanie's favorite.
Bruce cleared his throat and the table went silent. "So, Danny. Where exactly did you come from? Why are you here? And how did you know who I am?"
Everyone went white. Did they all just risk their identities believing that Danny was a new Robin? Why didn't Bruce say something? Not even a signal for the protocol they would use.
Danny frowned looking a bit hurt.
"What do you mean, Bruce? You said you owed me. You said you'd give me anything I wanted if saved your son. I even helped you get back home when you got lost in time." Danny huffed feeling betrayed.
The table went silent.
Bruce made a few calculations in his brain before something must have come to mind. "I lost my memory for a bit so I need a bit of proof."
Danny placed a batarang on the table. The batarang had an engraving on it in a code that only Bruce knew.
"You told me to show this to Alfred when I came. We had a deal, Bruce. You promised me whatever I wanted." Danny huffed clearly insulted.
Just like Danny had said the code was the one Bruce had made. However this code wasn't a promise to grant a favor but to welcome someone new to the family. Past Bruce must have had plans to take the boy in but told Danny something else to lure him here.
Bruce recognized that everyone was right and he has a problem now that he's looking at it like this.
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