#why can't I hold all these
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Based on the "Why can't I hold all these limes?" meme.
This has been floating around in my head for weeks and today I finally drew it to get it out of my system.
I'm so glad Viv took the 4-finger route with the character designs, the hands still took me a while, but not noticeably longer than the other part which is such a blessing. I think I would have spent at least 1/2 to 1 hour longer if that hadn't been the case.
Alternate, even more depressing duckless version:
#duckies#ducks#meme#hazbinhotel#hazbinhotelfanart#hazbin_hotel#luciferhazbinhotel#lucifer_hazbin_hotel#someone catch those duckies#hazbin lucifer#why can't I hold all these
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Tis but a flesh wound!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#jin guangyao#lan xichen#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#JGY's little shawl waits for him at the front entrance. It's for him to wear in the cloud recesses because he gets cold easy.#Lan Xichen personally hand knit it for him. This is canon within this universe now.#JGY is failing his little chess game so bad in this scene. He walks up and cutely pouts at LXC to pwease help him in his schemes#And when LXC rightly points out the holes in his reasoning he gets his back up!#But *dude* how the hell are you going to explain how WWX has been doing all these crazy things when the guy was Passed Out.#LXC can even attest to it. Back to JGY holding the idiot ball here; why make a point to press about WWX staying at CR#And not take into account the fact the lan brothers have an incredibly tight bond?#Why was he even *attempting* to drive a wedge between them?#Honestly I know we love to call JGY a schemer but he was so sloppy at so many points. Everything post secret room reveal-#has been a messy scramble to cover up his past transgressions. He is struggling to keep things under control!#He currently is staying in the public favour solely on the quality of his melancholic wet eyes.#You dare accuse jin guangyao of murder? When he's so sopping wet? When he whimpers and whines without a little treat?#To bad he's shown his teeth! Sorry you aren't old enough for dentures and can't put those teeth right back in your mouth.
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Vivienne's fear being 'becoming irrelevant' isn't something that's linked explicitly to her pride, no matter what Solas says about her (and the irony of Mr.Pride himself saying that should not be lost on you), it reveals what and who Vivienne truly is.
She's a survivalist.
Because we don't spend as much time in the Free Marches or Orlesian circles, we don't get to experience what being a mage is in these cultures. In Ferelden and Kirkwall, a mage is a lesser being without freedom no matter what they do--but in the Free Marches and Orlais specifically, mages are commodities that are given freedom so long as they play an entertaining enough role. They can explore the world if they have a noble patron, if they catch the right person's eye. They are, in a way, two sides of the same coin--refusing mages agency and forcing them to relay on higher powers. Vivienne lucked out, as sad as it is, when Bastion fell in love with her; she found someone who was contrarian enough to recognize her as a full person and also someone with power that could help her rise through the ranks. This is not to say that Vivienne on her own wasn't an exceedingly talented and intelligent individual--by nineteen she was already the youngest full fledged mage in Circle history and she was skilled enough to make herself an enchanter. But, I can not emphasize this enough, none of that matters if she didn't also play the Game and impress enough people.
Vivienne could have been the most brilliant mage in the history of Thedas and it means nothing if she was overlooked by nobility.
So when Bastion made her his mistress, she gained not just a lover but also a means to an end. Now she can use her magic to protect herself. Now she can roam where she wants and not be question for it because she's Madame Vivienne. Now, she can walk into the Orlasian court and belong there.
And what happens? Celene notices her and makes her the Court Enchanter, a position that has always been the equivalent of a jester. Vivienne took that title, ignored that it was essentially a glorified insult to who she is, and made it a position of power. She made the Court Enchanter into an advisor, a political rank. She had done the impossible and made mages an actual political entity in the Orlasian Court, something that wasn't seen outside of Tervinter (not counting what players can do under very specific conditions if they made mages in DAO and DA2).
All that, however, only continues as long as the court recognizes her as something worth their attention. Vivienne needs to maintain her act as Madame De Fer, The Lady of Iron, the Court Enchanter, The Jewel of the High Court, because the second she just becomes Vivienne, it's over for her. The assassins coming raining in, her name gets devoured by rumors and gossip, and she'll be found dead at bottom of the stair case with a dagger in her back if she's lucky.
So of course when the Circles fall apart during the Rebellion, she clings to that Loyalist Mages to maintain that structure--of course she moves her pieces to the Inquisition, knowing that if the Circle DOES fall, she at least as another place for herself and mages latch onto--of course when she hears that Celene replaced her with a new Court Enchanter that appeared out of no where, she grows to resent Morrigan.
Like, Morrigan literally pops up out of thin air, makes herself invaluable to Celene, and then plants herself in the place Vivienne had to claw her way up to and create so she could survive. Would you not be resentful when your life's work is usurped by some random witch of the wilds because she happened to charm the Empress? Everything Vivienne strived for all whisked away because the court find a gem who glimmers ever so slightly more than Vivienne.
So yes, Vivienne fears becoming irrelevant because the world has made it so that irrelevance for an Orlesian mage means death.
#vivienne making herself into the most beautiful shining gem of the court#making herself razor sharp and blindingly glittering and audacious so everyone HAS to look at her whether she likes it or not#and then when she thinks she can step away and focus on the Inquisition to help her fellow mages here comes Morrigan#who may be just as glittering just as sharp just as beautiful but she does it in a more wild way that the court snaps its head to look at h#and Vivienne fears that she's about to lost everything#and she white knuckles her alliance to the Inquisition like a life line and hope this gamble sees her through#because the alternative is far too horrifying for her to entertain#and do not confuse all of that with Vivienne being selfish because she's NOT Vivienne is not pulling the ladder from other mages#she wants them to have her power but she's aware that if Morrigan pulls HER ladder than it's all over#and really why the fuck are we holding all that against Vivienne when this is how the world made her (a world that is canonically colorist)#so she could live and breath and be seen as equal in some measurement?#I mean if you can sympathize with SOME OTHER MAGES for how they navigate an hostile world I wonder why you can't do the same for Vivienne#unless there's a glaring reason why you wouldn't dare get to know her#writing#vivienne de fer#dragon age#vivienne#dragon age inquisition
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The silly thing about associating Deadpool and Wolverine with Patroclus and Achilles is that if the Greek gays had regeneration and nigh-immortality, they wouldn't have reached peak tragedy
#i want deadclaws to have patrochilles' label#the same way i want patrochilles to have poolverine immortality#am i saying this because of the recent post i made about wade and logan's hearing training? yes#why? fuck off that's why#in a physical sense it's Logan who'd be Achilles. beefy warrior type secretly a musician#and it'd be Wade who's Patroclus. the sunshine of the army. the healer.#I'd even reach and say that if Wade could die the way Patroclus did then Logan would go as berserk as Achilles did#but#can't it be vice versa too? Logan in Patroclus' place#the source of comfort and peace for the household. the guy who knew everyone's names and everyone's injuries#because he'd been the one in the room holding their hands through it all#Wade in Achilles' place. the golden boy who enjoys the attention but at his core he'd rather not have it all.#just the affections of his chosen few.#he'd gladly be the chosen warrior if it only meant keeping his loved ones safe#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#logan howlett#deadpool 3#wade wilson#poolverine#deadclaws#deadpool 2024#adamantium gays#patrochilles#patroclus#achilles
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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There’s something so beautifully heartbreaking about the man who’s so anti fate/destiny being forced to believe in those things bc he has someone that loves him so deeply and unbelievably 🥺🥺🥺🥺
see, i don't think it's just that someone loves his whole, authentic self. i think it's that he loves them back. equally. it's that they're in this together and it feels like they always have been. it's how life never started for him before this. it's that love is nebulous and unfathomable and unreachable, and yet, he's gotten a taste. it's that, when the universe was created, every single neutron in existence was formed. and all the ones that eventually became you and me, were together. what explanation do you have for praying to a god that's not listening to fix you, to take this all away, to make you better--and someone offers you a hand. and a smile. and sure they help you up but you climbed out of there goddammit. you put this work in, side by side. you've fought every battle together. faced every crowd. sacrificed. and you're coming up on spending more life on earth with them than without. and without thinking or asking; you've already got the next twenty planned. how can you rationalize the fact that you were on the same planet, at the same time, in the same place, if it wasn't meant to be? there's billions of people here and there's been billions before. but your person knows you better than you know yourself. and you love them more than anything. how can you ignore that they're your perfect half--from interests to opinions to humour. how do you miss the way a room lights up with both of you there. how it feels like magic. and no one else will ever understand. how can you stop the feeling in your chest. of when you know in every universe, you'd end up here.
you can't.
#and that to me. is romance.#when you can't ignore it anymore.#when they throw out your rulebook and rewrite them together#when the universe doesn't make sense if you're not together#when it's so much that you can't ignore it anymore. and instead of asking why. you say thank you.#to a god who isn't listening. and may not even be there. but you're thanking the universe.#bc you hold the oldest light in the history of the universe in your hands.#from when the universe stopped being opaque. and all became visible#and everything starts to make sense#i wouldn't call it heartbreaking. but i *would* call it beautiful#dnp#c.text#dan and phil#phan#answered#godd i really. had a lot of thoughts about this that i needed to stew over
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why can't i hold all these cursors
#this isnt even all the different variations of the cursors#i think i counted like 20+ individual jpegs for the cursors b/w the two sfl games#peak cursor design#why can't i hold all these limes#meme#video game memes#video games#sucker for love#akabaka#sfl#sucker for love date to die for#indie games#peak game design#visual novel#indie game dev#gamedev#game development#game dev stuff
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What about Mugman and Smith as a ship? :)
They're friends, though :) in a "i'll beat your ass if you look at me wrong" sorta way.
Smitty is very comfortable and forward with his sexuality, but romance is hard for him to define and feel comfortable with.
This comes off as Smith being afraid of commitment, but Smith will devote himself to anything and everything if he believes in it enough (and I think deep down, under all that sour attitude, he'd like a big family one day!!), so the assumption that Smith does not want to be "tied down" is incorrect.
#Cuphead#Cuphead: Don't Deal With the Devil#Cuphead: DDWTD#CDDWTD#CDDWTD Mugman#CDDWTD oc#Cuphead oc#CDDWTD Smith#fizzles draws#anon#anonymous#i think smith struggles with romance partially because he is afraid of all the plates he's spinning#and not being open or available enough to hold a proper relationship#its sorta why hes so crude and abrasive. can't get close if he pushes you away first#and no i will not talk about mugman's shirt
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If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)
#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head#ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it#like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like#kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all#and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo#and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like#now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week?#yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay#kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello#why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine#but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him#they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her)#i just think it'd be fun cos like#it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met#kurama and hiei#kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back#they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀#it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan#yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc#and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺''#''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing#it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next#cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe#okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept#kuwameshi#yu yu hakusho#kuwabara kazuma#yusuke urameshi#koenma
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The Talk of the Town (1942) | dir. George Stevens
#the talk of the town#jean arthur#ronald colman#cary grant#the talk of the town 1942#oldhollywoodedit#classicfilmsource#filmgifs#my gifs#this energy!!!!!!!!!!!!!#nora shelley was ready to fight everyone!!!!!!!!!#you can't tell me lightcap wasn't a little bit amused at her reaction#he's basically saying 'no no not yet hold on'#god i love them#also the way leopold looks at her in that first gif when she's panicking....#i just love this movie with all my heart#was rewatching it just now and that's why i came to make this set
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hii!! I just read cold spots and it was AMAZING!!! Im not sure if you wanted to continue the fic, but if you don’t mind could you continue with Veres part? I don’t know what you would write about but I just feel like that fic has so much potential to be a little 3 part series or something 🙏
<- Cold Spots TYSM ANON!! I put the Vere End at the beginning for ease of reading. For the sake of folks who would like to read this as a stand-alone... I think u can? With the knowledge that the premise of Cold Spots is that Mhin and MC/Sparrow went ghost hunting. Vere is said to have been responsible for a handful of local ghost stories, so…of course he makes some mischief.🦊 Also MC needs some Winter wear, stat. A very light Possessive Vere warning in this btw, though perhaps in a roundabout way. Plausible deniability is so important to him.
You putter around in your room at the Wet Wick as you go about your nightly routine. The occasional cheer or thud from below only accentuates your nervous energy, punctuating your reluctance to settle down and get into bed. You smooth the covers with your bandaged hands and fluff the pillow before extinguishing the lamplight. You tug the bedding up above your shoulders, fighting to get comfortable. As your eyelids finally start to droop, the flicker of a shadow catches your attention. It dances and sways and bends and grows until suddenly it is right in front of you. On top of you. Silken, blood red drips down onto your face, a knife gleam smile too close for comfort. You breathe in a gasp, wondering if you should scream. “Vere, what–” “Shhh,” he coos, pressing a finger lightly to your lips. His breath is hot against your skin. “I only came to keep you warm, pet.”
Heat Signature
“Poor thing.” Vere purrs. “Your lips are so cold.” He leans ever closer, his mouth hot over yours–hovering. His other hand reaches for your face as well, nails trailing against your cheek in a teasing caress.
You feel even the thought of being cold leave your body, replaced instead by the unusual thrill he commands, that strange enthralling sway.
That heat you’ve come to associate with Vere; sweet tendrils of want that nestle in your bloodstream.
You squirm a little, though you can’t move much with him looming over you.
(You should probably do more to protest his intrusion into your room, you think to yourself, though, the majority of you is–curious, daresay even far too eager to–)
“Whatever trouble did you get up to that left you in such a state?”
At this you scoff, tilting your head back into the pillow and effectively knocking Vere’s finger from your lips.
“As if you don’t know,” you accuse.
Vere looks entirely unperturbed by you shaking him off, his lithe fingers traveling freely along the newly displayed skin of your throat, making your pulse jump.
Vere chuckles at that, dark and silky.
“Being tight lipped about your adventures, hm?” He angles your face just so, ensuring you meet his sharp eyes, his nose brushing up against yours. “Not that it matters. It so happens I do know what you’ve been up to. Trespassing in places that don’t belong to you.”
“...It was an abandoned building. I don’t think it really belonged to anyone.”
“And that’s where you’d be wrong,” Vere says, “everything in this city belongs to someone, darling. You just don’t know what belongs to who yet.” He peers down at you with laughter in his expression, though there's a distinct edge to it that you can't quite place.
“So, you're here because that building belongs to you...?”
“Hmm, amongst other things. However shall I make you apologize to me for this most egregious offense?” He asks airily, shifting until he’s beside you rather than perched over you, resting his cheek in his hand and letting his eyes slip closed. He's the absolute picture of unbothered leisure.
(You’re not fooled–he’s simply waiting for you to let your guard down before he pounces.)
You open your mouth to deny any debts on your part (though, if your ghost hunting spot was indeed Vere’s hideout, you really do feel guilty) but Vere cuts you off before you can speak.
“Alas, I suppose it’s not mine anymore. Within a week it will reek of wet dogs and cheap booze. It's a lost cause now that those drooling reprobates know it's inhabitable. A pity. By Eridia's standards it really was divine in its heyday. Good wine, music, dancing. There was this portrait artist who would paint the performances…”
His tone remains light as he reminisces. But the look he pins you with is dangerous: his eyes gleaming bright, his canines bared in an irreverent grin.
“I had such hopes and dreams of reviving the place myself. Some of the dances were very scandalous. You never did share with me your stance on dancing, did you?”
You stumble out an approximate answer. It’s…harmless information to give, isn’t it?
Though, judging by how pleased Vere looks, you wonder if you should have refused to say. He looks positively wicked as he ponders your answer aloud. “Oh, I’m sure you’ve got plenty of talents to share. In another life, perhaps I'd have put you on stage. Though, I admit. I find myself partial to a private show.”
And–as expected–the moment you let your guard down, he's in your space again, crowding you. Heat and proximity and the softest brush of his lips against yours, light enough to send a thrill down your spine, curiosity and a want so deep it surprises you.
“Well?” He purrs. “Care to audition?”
You can't hide behind the excuse of supernatural sway or charm or the thrall of hypnotic sunglo eyes. It's not Vere's power that controls you. It's your own gnawing desire; starvation and longing that draws you to him despite all sense.
Kissing Vere is heady. Dizzying.
Kissing Vere is like being in conversation with Vere–a constant of giving and taking, being chased after and running to keep up. It’s enticing and alluring and decadent and never quite enough, over too soon even as you feel yourself losing air, the rush of blood and sensation threatening to overwhelm you.
He gives a parting nip to your bottom lip as he pulls away.
Then another one, playful, to your jaw.
When he presses his face into the side of your neck, you expect him to bite again.
What you don’t expect is for him to nuzzle into you, inhaling deeply before heaving a great sigh, his tail flopping lazily to land across you with a thump.
He’s officious as he rearranges the covers, ensuring your arms are tucked carefully away from him before he’s willing to fully settle into the bedding, pulling the blankets up around the both of you like a den. He hums something low in his chest as he tucks himself up alongside you, long tail curled around your waist.
It’s rhythmic–
purring.
And it’s…soothing, actually.
The weight of him, the warmth. The incessant lamplight of the Amaryllis District, shining ever present through your window, is dim–tolerable, even, courtesy of Vere's magnificent shadow manipulations and the blankets sheltering you.
The constant noise seems to fade away as well, obscured by the sound of purring. “Falling asleep when you have me in your bed, pet? You really do try your luck…”
#Foxes purr btw!#i await more purring Vere fics I hold out my sickly little claws for them (a prompt from me for other fic writers)#You and I get to know that Vere was touching on Sparrow’s face sm bc he caught a peek at Mhin doing it in Cold Spots#and he got territorial#I decided that the narrative pointing it out was laying it on too heavy. but you and i know.#Hopefully this fits the bill ok of what u described anon! A liiittle spice but mostly wholesome??#i’m ngl I was going for more spice but ...Deicide!Flavored Vere... he took all of it#AAA SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG THO ANON AAAAuuughghhh#also ur so right anon u gotta have a sequel (since I was talking about horror tropes lol)#the thought of Vere & Mhin being down bad for the same person is sooo funny to me btw. i think of it often.#vere x reader#touchstarved x reader#toxintouch writing#touchstarved game fanfic#no pillow fight i'm osrry#this fic. fought me. this fic stole my wallet in the denny's parking lot#toxintouch: {pick} prompt {your poison}#wtf tumblr why did u do this to my image i thought i got my dimensions right the file can't be that big...#i have 2 ways of choosing titles btw on the nose and “you'll have to google this/have me explain”
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A very self indulgent tatted and pierced up Ichimatsu thas it
#mr. osomatsu#ichimatsu#ichimatsu matsuno#ososan#osomatsu san#matsuno ichimatsu#my art#suggestive#piercings#tattoos#todomatsu#he's there verbally and spiritually but not emotionally cuz he's tired of ichimatsu's bs#he spends all his money on cat treats -- tattoos--and peircings#the tatts on his body cost a lot more than totty's phone and it pisses totty off lol#ichi: ''yknow monetarily my body is worth more than everyone here.''#totty: ''and yet you look the cheapest why is that? hmm? 💅''#ichi: ''bitter because you desperately want a tattoo but don't have the balls to commit to one huh?''#totty: *holding back tears* "f-fuk you.''#totty caves and finally gets a small tattoo on his thigh#he cries while ichimatsu holds his hands through all of it#ichi's so proud of his baby bro can't even tease him cuz he knows totty is being so brave about it#but also ichimatsu is an even bigger bitch when getting his tatts and literally passes out#every single time because needles man. But totty don't need to know that lol#choro: ''you can get a needle inserted in you for hours at a time but can't sit through one 1 min vaccination??''#ichi: ''it's not the same fappy. I get a cool forever art piece with a tatt. What do i get with a vaccination??''#choro: ''the avoidance of death and illness.''#ichi: ''exactly why prolong my existence here?''#choro: ''we really need to get you a therapist.''#a e i o queue#made and tagged this months ago and forgot i never posted it
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THEY DON'T KNOW YOU LIKE I DO
#3hats au#me when i think about them as extremely doomed sifloop#they cared about each other so much to the point it turned to hatred. loop cares but is so so angry that stardust made the same mistak#loop hates this. hates him. how dare you steal my family. my identity. my feelings. my thoughts. AND now my own fate.#but weirdly enough it comes from caring so much. caring that this happened again. did they do something wrong? did they not do enough#for him? in their own loops?#and now there's nothing left for either of them. besides themselves. loop selfishly clings because thats all they have left in these loops.#but stardust is equally selfish. wants loop around because it doesn't want to make more life changing decisions. doesnt have energy to.#loop has lead for so long#why take it away? he can't do it any better anyway#this push and pull of wanting to stay with the other but not knowing if the other cares the same#holding onto the one thing you can keep. holding onto the one thing that's familiar.#but they're still mad at each other. still frustrated. and they fight more than necessary. they still hate each other. but care so much.#god#my art#isat#isat siffrin#isat loop#isat sifloop#sifloop#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#in stars and time siffrin#in stars and time loop
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hey guys. I don't mind people reposting my gifs on other sites to express their own love for sam, I love to see it actually, but please do not use mine for archive/gif accounts. thanks xx
#you might wonder what's the difference but it actually is different#especially when the archive account is for the show not just one character#the thing is. I don't like that I can't choose who can or can't access my gifs#I know it's inevitable when you share things online but at least I can block people or hide their tags here#which I rarely do but still I'm holding onto that illusion of control. please let me have it😭😭😭#the things I've seen in my notifs... and how some people talk about sam in general...#I just have serious trust issues with this fandom sorry 😭#also there are reasons why I decided to post gifs on tumblr even tho I'm more used to twitter#so pls don't give me more things to worry about. this website alone is already too stressful lol#slowly realizing I'm not made for this shit...... I sincerely admire all sam stans who's been around here longer than me#it's only been like a year and a half and I'm already falling apart... :)
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Aegon, Aemond, Helaena, and Daeron looking at Alicent after she washes her hands of a war, that she (and Otto) dragged them into, and the throne, that she (and Otto) forced them to grasp/fight over even though they obviously didn't want it, and goes off to live her best life while they are all still stuck in a cycle forced on to them without their input (obviously this is about the s2 final):
#anti hotd#like....what were they doing with alicent in s2? like-#in s1 they had great foundation for pushing her character and her belief as to why her children would be under threat from just existing#(even if u like rhae- understandable- it's not hard to take a step back & understand some of ali's pov#especially when daemon comes into the picture)#there's buildup for why she's forcing this on to her kids (murky but still) & still shows that she loves them in a complex way#heck there was even room to show her after all this also wanting to be close to the throne trailing into s2 whatever#but then s2 shits on that by making everything that happened in s1 hold no weight & ali (& otto) basically ruin their kids lives#like i like alicent but s2 makes no sense characterwise & makes her just...a bad character overall#like ive always felt bad for her kids bc ali was wrong a lot of times but u understand it bc toxic/complex family relationships where the#love is still there but it's complicated#but now post s2? i feel sorry bc their mother pushed them down a path and then left them to live her life?#HUH!?#fanfic writers save me!#aegon ii targaryen#aemond targaryen#heleana targaryen#daeron targaryen#alicent hightower#kind of...anti alicent hightower too?#hotd showrunners really ruined this family & it frustrates me so bad#dni if you can't have a collected conversation about this#like “sorry sweeties mommy wants to makes amends with her childhood crush so rip!”#(& this is from someone who ships rhaenicent)
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okay so you know how it goes: fourteen comes to life in thirteen's clothes. and they're both too short and too loose and entirely too bright for his frame of mind. they worked with a doctor who hid everything behind a too wide smile; not so much with a doctor whose pain and tiredness is written across his face
he needs to change. obviously
and then the star beast starts, and fourteen leaves the tardis, and he's still in thirteen's clothes
he just. he doesn't know. how does he choose new clothes? he feels wrong. how will wearing something else change that?
(donna tells him that it's christmas, mate; it's bloody freezing. maybe wear longer trousers, yeah? also he's both too young and too old to wear braces. just a friendly note)
he doesn't have to explain who he is to the unit scientist, not with those clothes. instead he talks about how he doesn't understand why he looks like this. why he is this. why this face? why isn't he someone new?
actually. maybe he is someone new. was he ever this open before? hm
why do you look like that, sylvia hisses, trying to hide him from the daughter he destroyed ruined left
it's a lottery, he replies, purposely ignorant
he still has his thirteenth self's screwdriver. it's too small in his hands
(the whole time they were her, her hands were too small. she didn't like touching anyway, but whenever someone took her hand, it felt wrong. they were too small. sometimes it felt like if she worked fast enough, tinkered about without stopping, she wouldn't have to look at them)
everything goes wrong. his fault, like always
(blimey. of all the things to carry over from the first time he had this face, it had to be the guilt, didn't it?)
you shouldn't look like that, the doctordonna says, and he runs a hand down his face with a tired laugh
no, the doctordonna says, not the face. a hand reaches out to grasp at the collar of his shirt, at the dangling earring chain. this isn't you. who are you, doctor?
like he knows. like they've ever-
she dies.
she lives. he doesn't deserve it. it isn't about him. he still doesn't deserve it
we're letting it go, donna says, and he looks down at himself, at another him's clothes, another him's screwdriver
well, she never was subtle, his donna
the tardis is gorgeous, though when isn't she. he tries to show off his new console to donna, and she rolls her eyes, and drags him off to the wardrobe
unlike normally, where all the clothes are scattered about, the new tardis wardrobe now also has a line of wardrobes stood against the wall. fifteen of them, to be exact
the last wardrobe is open. and empty
he goes to the second to last, and opens it to reveal a wide array of rainbow patterned shirts. she probably would've hated for her things to be organised like this. always creating mess so she wouldn't have to think about anything important. he laughs. and he takes off the sky coloured coat and the worn boots and the earrings and gently places them inside. tag, he thinks, as he closes the doors
and then he moves down to the eleventh wardrobe, full of brown coats and blue suits and neatly pressed shirts and pairs of converse. and he stands in front of it. and he wonders
after a moment, donna's like wait do you want me to leave?? you never cared about nudity before, did you? and he's like oh actually i do feel more self conscious. huh. weird.
he doesn't have to say, i think i'm a different person. not to donna. she just gives him a smile, and a shoulder nudge, and tells him she'll see him in the console room
the last wardrobe is empty
he takes a breath, and then goes to rummage about in the rest of the clothes
#13 🤝 14 (🤝 12) -> dysphoria 😔#doctor who#the doctor#fourteen#my fanfic#i mean ig#the tardis is including war. and so am i#the fugitive doctor's clothes are around somewhere also#then he leaves the wardrobe and donna's like literally all you've done is change your colour palette#and he's like oi i've only been me for a few hours! give me time to get a fashion sense!#and she's like well how long were you your last face#and he's like idk. bout a century?#and she's like i saw your clothes before this. that one had decades & never found a sense of fashion so i'm not holding my breath with you.#it's the new year i've decided to write about things only i still care abt probably dsakjlaskjl#why isn't this a proper fic. because i can't be bothered. hope that helps#bye im gonna go make brownies
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