This shit came out WAY zestier than I had planned lmao
( not drawin in a shipping way, they are simply comfy )
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It’s always funny to me when I have the same reactions as Dante and I never feel closer to them than when I am just playing with my vision of this weird reunion of outcasts as a big and loveable found family, only to see that vision crumbled down and challenged every canto by a sinner or Vergilius who exclaims loud and clear and often vehemently that it will never be anything more than a employer / employee relationship.
At those moments I react exactly like Dante when they are like: « Maybe I am the only one who thought we were sharing something together ? Maybe all the sinners are only here for their own goals ? Maybe they would never want to make an effort to create a meaninful relationship between each others ? Was I a fool to believe that this was the start of a friendship … that we could have developpe a bond more or less deep, a feeling of belonging … that we could have been a family. »
First there is the pain of having your hopes shattered but then that doesn’t stop us to continue hoping for it to happen.
We are just two big delulu people
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So anyway I watched both the ‘iT’ films today
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Christ guys I’d love to be able to live my life without constantly considering what other people would think abt me, even when I’m entirely by myself.
I saw that post talking abt AUs where the characters live where you live and thought it was so cute, and I got a couple of adorable and very self indulgent ideas to draw. I started sketching them out but at one point I was like “wait this is so cringe, everyone’s gonna think you’re a fuckin loser dude.” but I was talking myself down like ok I don’t have to post it if I don’t want to, I should just keep drawing for me bc it’s gonna be cute and make me happy. but I couldn’t stop thinking about how fucking lame people would think it was & I started thinking it was fucking lame too, & the sketches kept getting worse and worse bc I kept getting more and more frustrated. And after almost 2 hours I looked at JUST THE SKETCHES and fucking hated it. Even though it was deffo salvageable, I was just so defeated and embarrassed and frustrated with myself that I completely abandoned it.
It’s just so fucked that I ruined this thing I was SO excited about for myself bc I thought people who would NEVER EVEN SEE IT would think it was cringe. I fuckin hate that I hold myself on such a short leash.
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hello all! I am awake now. just as an FYI, tomorrow’s pretty tough for me, as it’s Father’s Day in the US. I might around much more than usual, and I might decide not to talk to anyone at all. it’s just gonna be rough for me, so please have patience if you can.
also!! because of this, if we could tag for dad/Father’s Day stuff in the next couple days, I would appreciate it! I know it’s hard to remember, but it does mean a lot to me
(put some negativity/ranting in the tags— don’t read those if you’re bothered by this stuff too!)
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