#why are you talking to the cats they do not understand you
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meeludrawz · 3 days ago
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New Rehab Program - Pt 4
A/N: Hey if you wanna get tagged, just tell me! Cuz life makes me update slow, rip
Warnings: Mention of blood, mention of you being badly injured, mention of death, also you hate the Twilight saga
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During the next couple of days, Shigaraki was oddly 'clingy'. Not physically, but he was always following you around like a dog or cat.
You were watching tv? He was there, sitting on the lazyboy, playing on his phone while sometimes, looking at what you're watching too.
In the kitchen? He was there, sitting on the kitchen island, still doing his own thing though.
The only times he wouldn't follow was when you were in the bathroom, or your bedroom. During those moments, he'd stay in his room. WITH HIS DOOR OPENED. He never closed it now!!
You didn't really understand that sudden switch in him until you decided to examine his behaviour.
From what you had observed, he was clearly grateful to be freed from this collar. That was an easy guess though because the day when you removed it, you put it on the counter. Guess what? Next day there was only a pile of dust left there.
It made you smile, because in all honesty, you would never put it back around his neck. He wasn't a wild animal or caveman with rabies.
You quickly realized that, him following you around, was his own way of saying that he appreciated your presence. Though, knowing his personality, you knew he'd tell you the opposite.
He was still quite silent but at least he didn't ignore you when you asked or talked to him.
You were more than glad to see all this progress when all you did was being kind and patient to him. Even if there was still lots of work to do.
"She should dust them both" Shigaraki hissed at the tv.
You had been bored and had decided to rewatch Twilight. Tomura was still on his phone but he was clearly more focused on the movie. You didn't like this saga but you watched it to see his reaction, to see if he disliked the franchise like you. Was it some kind of therapy? Not really, it was more like bonding time. So far, his reactions were hilarious but you kept your laughs inside.
"Why does Jacob has screen time? He should be a background character only" The white haired man hissed again.
At this point, your show wasn't Twilight anymore but Tomura.
"Why does Jasper keeps staring like a fucking moron? I want to kill him." He went silent for a few seconds. "Is Bella a fucking zombie? She has no emotions" He growled before adding. "If she's a zombie, that would fucking explain why she smells weird to them"
Your laughs escaped your mouth without your consent but you couldn't stop them.
Shigaraki snapped his head in your direction and raised a brow. "Why are you laughing?"
"Sorry it's you- You're just funny, 'cause I agree with you" You wiped your eyes, sighing with a smile.
"Was this a therapy?" He growled in a very low and menacing voice.
"No, I was bored and thought it could be fun" You chuckled and shrugged. "I like judging that saga with my friends"
"I'm not your friend" Tomura frowned.
"Maybe, but it's still fun, right?" You smiled.
Tomura narrowed his eyes as he stared at you, probably trying to decipher how the gears in your brain worked.
After that, he stayed silent for the rest of the movie. Even if his mouth was shut, you could read his body language. He hated that movie and that was an amusing sight.
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During the week, All Might, Eraser Head, Tsukauchi and some of your bosses showed up.
You were all sitting at the dining table. Shigaraki and All Might sitting at both ends, right in front of each other. As if they were kings of some kind. Well, Tomura was trying to look intimidating but All Might? He probably just took the first chair he spotted.
As a normal civil, you'd think that everyone was pissed at each other but as a therapist or as someone very observing, you knew how to decipher people. All Might was nervous, Eraser Head was on his guard, even if he hid it quite well, your superiors were angry, Tsukauchi was calm but intrigued while Shigaraki was fuming. He hated those people.
What about you? You were nervous, sitting there in the middle of this silent war. And also because you removed Tomura's collar without anyone's permission, oops. Oh and with the help of All Might on top of that….
Tsukauchi spoke first. "I will ask some questions to begin"
You nodded and dared a look in Shigaraki's direction, he was glaring at Tsukauchi. He knew he couldn't lie, because he knew the cop's quirk and that must be pissing him off.
"Have you two been manipulated to remove his collar?" The officer clicked his pen, turning to you and All Might.
"No" You and All Might shook your heads and Tsukauchi wrote something down before turning to the 'ex-criminal'.
"Have you manipulated them?"
It took a few seconds before Tomura only shook his head, clearly pouting at the officer's quirk. Tsukauchi could detect lies.
"Were you trying to hurt your therapist before your collar reacted?"
"Yes" The white haired man narrowed his crimson eyes.
Tsukauchi didn't seem surprised. "Why?"
"Because they were pissing me off"
Ha, yes, Tomura's famous excuse over anything really.
The inspector noted something before turning back to you. "Has he tried again?"
You shook your head.
Tsukauchi nodded before looking at your superiors, telling them that his part was done.
One of your employers sat down in front of you with a menacing frown. "Now, why did you remove his collar? Do you know the risks?"
Ah, there it was. The one million dollar question. You gulped as you felt everyone's eyes on you but not Tomura's. He was glaring at your superior. But why? Wasn't he interested into what you were about to say?
"Because it's inhuman, because he is NOT a wild animal with rabies. He is NOT a do who has to be put on a leash. He is HUMAN. No one should treat a human like this, it's unfair and cruel. Sure he probably did-"
"Nah, I never put a fucking collar on anyone. I just used handcuffs on that young brat and even removed it from him before he fucking decided to attack me."
"We're not talking to you, Shigaraki" Eraser Head frowned at the man.
Shigaraki only raised both his hands in a 'defensive' way and scoffed.
You decided to continue.
"Yes I know the risks. He can be dangerous, he has free will, like any of us. But I strongly believe that for example, forcing someone to eat when they don't want to is a very bad idea. Just like how you guys forced him into this therapy and forced him to wear the collar."
Everyone stayed silent as they registered what you said.
Oh fuck-
Maybe you spoke too much?
But before you could worry, a huge hand was softly put on your shoulder, All Might was smiling at you with pride and comfort in his eyes.
He was probably thinking that you were the perfect therapist for Tomura. That choosing you was the right choice.
You had only under 5 years of experience and yet, people liked you because you made the therapies different. And for some reason that you ignored, people had started talking about you and it had eventually landed in All Might's ears.
So when he showed up at your workplace, you were speechless. He had asked you, THE symbol of peace, had asked you to help him.
That day, you led him to your office, thinking that he needed therapy. He wasn't there for himself, but for Tomura Shigaraki.
At first, you honestly couldn't understand why he wanted to save the 'apprentice' of his now deceased, arch nemesis. Well no, All Might was known to help countless of people no matter who they were. But then he had revealed you something intriguing. Nana Shimura. Tomura's biological grandmother. Who was no other than All Might's mentor.
Again, you were speechless so you had let him continue. The way he spoke about her, she was a mother figure to him. It clicked in your mind. He wanted to save Tomura because he was family to him, because he felt a mountain of guilt on his shoulders for not being able to be there for the ex-villain.
Frankly, you weren't supposed to let your feelings decide as a therapist but this case touched your heart. You wanted to help. But also, if a criminal as bad as Shigaraki was open to get into therapy, wouldn't that mean he wasn't as bad as we think? Plus, that meant you could help fixing society, right?
You sighed with a smile and glanced at the white haired man.
The villain was staring at you as if you had just confessed that you were an alien sent on Earth.
You chuckled. How great would that be? No more crimes. Just peace and happiness. Sure it probably sounded like an impossible dream but hey, if you could save THE Tomura Shigaraki, you would be saving thousands of people, right?
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Your superiors and the Pro Heroes discussed together about this whole 'collar removed' situation.
They weren't really happy with this but the heroes (mostly All Might), had taken your side. You were quite surprised that Eraser Head and Tsukauchi seemed to believe in you too. Again, hella surprising, but much appreciated.
You watched them leave with their cars as you stood in the doorway. Once they were away, you walked back inside and closed the door.
Tomura was still sitting at the table, staring at nothing.
"Are-" You remembered that he disliked being asked if he was okay. "Tomura? You're staring into the void"
He didn't react.
Hm, what could you do?
Ah right! He was obsessed with video games, from what you observed. Hell, you didn't even need to be a therapist to find that out. You decided to speak his 'language'.
"If you keep doing this, you'll start glitching and crash the game"
Tomura finally glanced at you with a scoff. You smiled, happy to see that it worked.
"Never been this close to Eraser Head.." He mumbled.
"Are you a fan?" You genuinely asked.
Shigaraki's face scrunched up as he frowned. "No"
You nodded, you weren't going to ask more so you only headed to the living room.
And just like the past few days, he followed a few seconds later. He plopped on the couch and grabbed his phone while you turned your favorite console on. You picked a new game.
After an hour, you weren't far into it but it had piqued Tomura's curiosity as he often looked up at the TV screen. You were struggling with a boss.
"Don't"
You didn't listen, you were stubborn when you had an idea.
"Dodge! Just- Damn it! What the hell are you doing??"
"I AM dodging!" You replied back.
"No you're not, hand me that!" He leaned towards you and reached for the controller. But you stubbornly refused and stretched both arms away from him, while still holding it.
Did you forget that he was also stubborn? Yes, yes you did. He almost climbed on top of you to snatch the god damn controller.
"Tomura! I can do it on my own! Go away!" You tried pushing him back to his place with your foot but as you both stretched further to keep, (or grab) the controller, you dropped it on the floor.
"HA! Dibs!" The white haired man jumped off the couch to snatch it.
"No!" You quickly grabbed his shirt and he fell on you.
It hurt, you both groaned then immediately froze when you realized, with wide eyes, how close your faces were from each other. You both stared at the other for what seemed like an eternity. He leaned his face closer and closer until your lips were just an inch away. You were short circuiting and shut your eyes hard, panicking a little.
Suddenly his weight was gone.
You opened your eyes, letting out a breath that you'd been holding. Your heart was also pounding, ready to break your ribcage while Tomura was sitting on the floor, in front of the tv, like nothing happened. He didn't seem to give a shit either because he had snatched the controller when you closed your eyes.
But- What happened?
Your cheeks were red and you felt like the room had suddenly become warmer.
Seriously- What the fuck just happened??
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Blood
Everywhere
All around you
Shigaraki was holding you tightly against him, screaming in rage and agony. But why?
It was your blood
Your stomach had been shot and you were unconscious… Or dead? In his arms.
He was in pain too, but not physically. He only had small scratches. But his heart? It felt like someone had stabbed it
The young man closed his eyes as he cried. But why was he crying?
And when he reopened his eyes to look at you, the first thing he saw was his pillow that he was clutching against him. It quickly vanished into dust so the villain sat up, confusedly looking around. He was in his bed, right next to his gaming desk. He was back home, but how? Oh right, a dream. The white haired man glanced at the dust on his bed. He didn't care about his pillow right now.
He stood up, Tomura couldn't understand that weird dream. Why was his heart pounding in his chest? Why was his eyes felt itchy? He didn't like you. Did he? No, no he didn't. It was just a stupid dream. Maybe it was that weird werewolf vampire saga that messed up his brain, nothing else.
And yet, even if it was 2 am, he instinctively walked to your doorway. It was never closed for some reason, so he looked at your silhouette sleeping softly.
The bloodied scene came back to his mind and his heart restarted to ache. He couldn't understand, you were there, safe and sound. Sleeping peacefully. Nothing bad happened to you.
He decided to go back to sleep, but first, he needed to clean his bed.
Why did he needed to check up on you? It was only a dream so of course you were fine. His feelings were dumb, he frowned.
What the fuck did you do to him?
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A/N: OOOOOOOH THE FEELINGS HAVE STARTED TO SHOW HEHEHE >:3
Pt 3
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revscarecrow · 2 days ago
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hi rev i just wanted to come here and rant for a second because i feel like you'll understand. i hope you dont mind.
i'm really, REALLY frustrated that a lot of the current culture around artists complaining about ai is people being like "ugh artists are so sensitive, this use case isnt even that bad, its just funny, its just a meme, etc etc"
as an artist myself i feel like i cant even complain about it in my current online social circles because i will be met with people being like "its not that serious when its used to make memes"
i fucking hate seeing ai. period. it doesnt matter if its google gemini, or chat gpt, or some rancid ai meme, or an ai voice. i hate ALL of it because it reminds me that the ONE THING i thought couldn't be taken from me by robots (my ability to make art/video) is being taken from me in front of my eyes.
even my other artist friends partake in this culture. i seriously dont understand it. it is DEEPLY upsetting and makes me feel so hopeless and powerless.
maybe it's an "if i dont laugh, i'll cry" situation. i dont know. i want to hear your thoughts on it. much love
I talk about AI "art" on my art youtube channel. Suffice to say that generative AI and neural nets can be used for good things like mapping the human brain to help better understand the systems at work and how to help with dementia (this is a real thing that's being done and it's rad btw). While this tech does a lot of energy I think it's worth it to learn how to cure horrible diseases. The tasks that this can do helps solve problems that are either too complex or time intensive for humans to do. Art is about expression to some degree. Some people are just about the aesthics but for me personally I think that the process of coming to and finishing the idea is the art and the canvas is the record of the process happening. As such the spirit behind the creation of an object is core to the aesthic of the piece. If I make a painting out of shit or blood it's going to have a very different vibe than one done with paint. Why was that choice made? Artists make these choices at every step. Some just pick things as a default but that is in itself a choice. I use acrylic when I paint canvases because of the drying time and because I fear my cats will attempt to eat the sugary smelling liquin medium used with oil. The nature of my work area I have means the canvases I paint are smaller. These are choices that change how my work looks but also speak to who I am as a person. AI art does not consider this because how could it? It does not think. It's a disgusting similacrum of the human experience. Memes still gross me out I'll be honest.
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emmaspersonaldiary · 1 day ago
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Going into detail about how I feel about all of my friends:
School friends
Gym:
-S: she's nice, but sometimes she says or does something that kinda makes me feel like that wasn't nice or that wasn't necessary and some things about her tick me off but I love her
Socials:
-m: I fucking hate you. I'm only still talking to you cuz I don't want to be alone in that class. You're such a bitch. Every class you call me stupid, and I started acting like I didn't understand your jokes but I do. That one time you called me an ogre? I think about that every time I look in the mirror. Die.
-g: you're so nice. I don't really talk to you but you're chill
Engineering:
-a: you're so funny ily
-m: sometimes you do or say things that annoy me, but you're cool
-a: you're funny and nice.
-j: you're funny and cool
-h: I love talking shit with you and you're so fun to play mobile games with at lunch
Science:
-S: you're such a dick. I'm only friends with you because if I leave you I won't be able to eat lunch with j, and I'll have nobody. But you make mean comments about people and have made me and my friend cry before.
English:
-m: ily you're so nice. I wish I sat beside you so I could talk to you more
-n: you're nice, but your humor hurts me sometimes. You tell me to kms a lot as a joke and sometimes I lowkey debate it
French:
-j: ily. You let me yap about Jeremy and Evan and literally anything I want and you don't really judge
Art and Jewlery:
-t: you're so pretty and kind. Literally trust you sm and I became friends with you in September
-h: sometimes you do things that make me feel like you're not nice, but other than that you're okay
-k: you're nice 👍
-o: you were literally my friend crush for the longest time I love your style and your art
People I eat lunch with:
-a: You're so nice
-a: sometimes you say things I don't agree with, but you're pretty okay
-b: I feel so bad for you when we're talking shit about arianna cuz you're the only one friends with her and none of us really like her
-d: I literally love you so much. You're my best friend. I love your cat and your dog and I love your parents and I feel like I'm a part of your family. I hope we move out together after high school and we blast theater kid music all day and I love calling you and being around you.
Online friends:
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@alchemicalwerewolf
You're so cool and I love talking to you and I love seeing your posts and spamming your ask box
@steph-schuyler
I'm so excited for our art collab. You're so cool
@afireformyheart
I love telling you about all my crushes and I love bugging you about random shit while you're busy
@ilov3b00kss0much
Ik I met you today but I loved talking to you
@th3p0rtalmaker
I love talking to you. Idk what it is it's just so satisfying.
@tatelangdonsgirl
I know we don't really talk anymore but I love seeing your tiktoks. You're so pretty and I really love when we spend all night texting.
All my other tumblr mutuals:
I love seeing your posts. Idc if we don't talk. I love you guys too
Tiktok/snapchat friends:
-E: ily. You're so funny and I love calling you
-N: I don't really know you but I'm glad I met you
-A: you were my best friend for a year straight. I would eat sleep and breathe you. I would wake up thinking about you and go to bed thinking about you. Then you spaced away and wouldn't tell me why. Then you replaced me. And it really hurt. And no matter how much I try, it'll never be the same.
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lususnatura · 10 hours ago
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blamore's mouth formed into an 'o' shape and let out a soft noise of realization upon hearing the other confirm it was henry the VIII in the show, ❝ ahh, okay. see... that makes more sense now. yeah, that and he might have been a modern-day sociopath. ❞
what sounded like small feet padding on the ground suddenly started to head blamore's way just as he'd began to reflect upon faith; though its experience with it was surprisingly limited, even though its father had carried on traditions like christmas in their family. they had stopped going to church altogether when blamore turned seven, partially due to thérèse (its mother), and - marmalade was now rubbing against blamore's ankles like the sweetheart she was.
while he'd been about to frown only a few moments earlier due to thinking about his father, the creature was now smiling down at the orange tabby cat. the purring coming from marmalade was quite loud as she weaved between his ankles to cross over to harley. marmalade then bunted her head against one of her own ankles, a soft 'aww' slipping through blamore's lips, ❝ oh... look at that. you know, cats do that headbutting thing when they're trying to bond with someone. ❞ a warm look encompassed its eyes as they darted to meet harley's.
it was a good sign whenever marmalade liked someone, especially when she got as close to them as she was to harley right now. his gaze briefly followed the other when she moved away before he bent down to pet the tabby. blamore opened a cabinet near him as soon as he remembered marmalade needed more food, filling her bowl with wet cat food before long. it was washing its hands when harley began talking to it again.
❝ alright, i just wanted to let you know i am listening - but oh. okay, yeah, i could understand why that would be discouraging. especially for a kid. i mean, of course not every family is the same, but its hard not to compare things you have to others sometimes. that doesn't mean that you were wrong for feeling those emotions, however, as all of your feelings are valid. life is honestly weird in the way that you never know what kind of situation you're going to be in and it also sucks because of that. but hey, look at where you are now. ❞
blamore dried off his hands before turning up the gas to the stove to begin cooking. it backtracked a bit before gnawing on its bottom lip, ❝ ahh, i mean, i was laughing because i wish that that is something i had to escape from. one of the friends i'd made in undergrad invited me to go out golfing once and oh my god... i hated it. but at first, i thought 'well, maybe its because you're not good at it yet.' so i went with him a few more times but no. it turns out i just hate golf. ❞
Harley heard Balmore explain his confusion, and smirked. "Ughhh this was Henry tha' eighth. Tha' man killed his wives... perhaps this is what happens before they commercialized ice-cream?"
Humming to the notation of religion, Harley could only agree. She wasn't the type to enjoy masses or actually prescribe church to those seeking social connections, but part of her did like the kindness that could be found. Despite not being the kind of person to rarely step into the church, she did donate from time to time as if to say thank you for all the pancake breakfasts or bake sales that they had allowed her and her brother to attend.
Her mind refocused on the task at hand, finding it rewarding that she could afford to take herself out to eat, or was lucky enough to have Balmore. She breathed him in notating the floral scent which was an afternote to the fresh scent. Softly she ran her fingers over his robe making sure he was comfortable before moving on. As she chopped she had a habit of going back to what her childhood was like, it was only after Balmore had distance himself some that she turned to see him playing about with his ear. She knew his hearing suffered at times, and questioned if she was on his bad side.
"Nahh it's okay.. Jus' ... yeah I was like tha' only kid in my area that didn't have a christmas tree, decorations, or well actual gifts. Like you get small things one afta' tha' other durin' Hannukah... BUT.. When someone rocks up afta' Christmas with new toys 'en you got stuff from tha' seven-eleven... ya' know it's been a dim holiday. But yeah I always wanted ta' light all the candles and play Christmas music... not read a passage and light just one at a time. It was hard."
When he laughed at her for the yoga retreats she let him. "COme now ya' had to have somethin' you hated and had to get out of?"
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emry-stars-art · 2 years ago
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@neilimfinejosten requested cats/cuddles and. I got one of those things
shout out to getting me to decide on my Sir and King designs!!
(Requests have since been closed - I’m here to post the ones I got over the holidays 😊)
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daily-grian · 4 days ago
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Mod Owl lore: I used to be an artist for an original closed adoptables species called Wuffies on a niche rp forum board and I've been thinking about them again recently, so I thought i'd doodle Grian as a wuffy. Bonus fun fact - wuffies do not usually have wings, but I was the only person to ever get a wuffy with wings cause it was a birthday present from the species owner and I still have it :3 It would feel criminal to not give Grian wings though
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originalcontent · 11 months ago
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I can't find art of my ship anywhere so I GUESS that means I have to make it myself, here are some doodles.
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angelnumber27 · 5 months ago
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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nonokoko13 · 9 months ago
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Call me Mahoro because I also think her brother is hot af Btw the plot twist in this series is that Arajin is going take his crush last name but not because of her. Sorry for the spoilers peace and love in the planet Earth
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And could somebody make this Marito teddy bear real? It's a basic and essential need atp
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since-times-long-forgotten · 3 months ago
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does anyone get unreasonably aggravated when they see someone calling a normal split-faced tortie as a chimera? like it literally couldn’t matter less, but it matters to ME, so I feel an overwhelming need to explain how no, that is NOT a chimera, that is a normal tortie, cat genetics just do that sometimes during x-inactivation because of bilateral symmetry. yippee!
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archduke-enver-gortash · 7 months ago
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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW
#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does#like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful#while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child#like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child#only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you#his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you#agree deep down#and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept#but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide#and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke#and you discarded it and got a new one#and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow#and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it#until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly#and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different#and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child#and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da#and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand#but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee#his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing#and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love#or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do#with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like
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camellcat · 8 months ago
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it's irritatingly funny that I can find books for almost any other series like it's nothing and yet somehow doctor who continues to evade me. I just. can't??? none of my usual sites have them, and looking online brings me nothing, and I ??? where are they ?????
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itsseriouslyridiculous · 9 days ago
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I really hate how my physical body looks so so so much. unfortunately there isn't much I can do about it.
#ive got fat genetics from both parents families going back generations and ive been trying to lose weight forever#my stupod body likes being fat i can excercise like crazy and eat barely anything and i wont lose anything#i was excercising 2+ hours a day before i got sick and it made me stronger but i.stayed fat. now that im sick im weak and still fat.#and im not the kind of fat anybody can find pretty. if i could somehow not be fat id be decent to look at my face isnt bad#my skin is bad though my skin sucks#in my eyes im disgusting#and its so messed up because i dont think other fat people are gross#but i hate how i look so much that i cant imagine anyone being okay with it#like no matter how kind and understanding and sweet i am to people its never gonna make up for the fact that my body is grossly ugly#and i cant blame anyone for not liking me i get it.#sorry#this is a problem i have#bacause i just usually pretend my body doesnt exist and i wear pretty loose fitting dresses that cover me completely so but#even though i am what i am#sometimes you happen to meet a nice person and they are polite and dont seem disgusted by your existance so then your traitorous brain t#thinks hey maybe this person would be willing to marry us someday if they got to know us. which is so silly becuz theres no way thatd ever#so it makes me sad when i should be happy that a nice person talked to me. yay good job successful friendlyness. but it has to remind me#that i had this expectation from when i was a kid that id marry somone and have at least 3 kids and love my kids and take care of them and#give them everything i needed when i was a kid. and of course that never happened. because i never dated anyone. because people dont just#magically get married out of nowhere. its stupid. so i keep trying to be okay with whatever. but i guess i never stopped wanting a family.#which we know im aroace now so. i need to stop. but my brain is always bothering me about this.#why can't i just accept that no one will ever love me. why cant i be happy that they dont?#ive got cats#someday i will have irl friends again#sorry i think everything would be so much easier if i was just#this isnt a problem with an easy solutiom#i guess im gonna try to do the useless excercises again because at least it will look like im trying even though nothing will change
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what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque · 5 months ago
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My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭
they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃
#i cant even tell him cause hes gonna play again more “normally”#its so tragic he would like skip dialogue and just fight to get the jump on boss battles instead of waiting for the cutscenes to start#and he didn't exhaust dialogue trees!! like... how... why...#and also he staked Astarion 😭 and p much never reloaded#and didn't clear the shadow curse so no Halsin#also everyone at Last Light Inn died so Dammon was gone and Karlach only got 2 upgrades#and he didnt know moonrise towers was basically a second town#and his game was buggy a lot maybe? cause he kept trying to be hella creative with things and do things out of order#like killing gortash before doing steel watch 🙃#it's fine it's fine everyone plays differently#he tends to care more about gameplay than anything else but still!!#i just want him to know all the character backstories and see everything that made me emotional#i mean he did say he was sad when Lae'zel broke up with him in act 3 and when Karlach died and when he had Gale use the orb in act 2#which he considered his canon ending :/ sigh#i dont think he got Jaheira's lines about death#and he didnt understand why Karlach wouldn't go back to the hells#and he thought Wyll was happy being the duke (and has NO idea you could save his dad cause the mission didn't happen!! 😭)#the iron throne was like my fave mission outside of killing Cazador and I can't discuss either one cause he didn't do them properly yet 😭😭#he also avoided talking to children so he missed those quests and yenna glitched so no cat appeared in camp 🙃#sighhhhh cannot believe he plays so differently than i do lollll#he didn't even do unlimited kisses with Lae'zel!! meanwhile im over here kissing Astarion every night hahahah#hoping my partner doesn't see IRL if I have the office door open as if it matters lmfaooooo#i need him to play again and see why im in love with a video game character lol#maybe we could both um... benefit from knowing more about all of Astarion's scenes lmao#but like he has NOT SEEN Astarion's silly or sweet side yet just him being a bit of a chaotic vampire#and thinks i like him cause of vampires WRONG!! play the game again and see that i love his silly & sweet real self!#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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mysticalcats · 7 months ago
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hi !!! im considering watching/listening to cats but im not sure, would you recommend? the only thing ive really seen of it before was when i was taken to see the film in 2019
oh, i would definitely recommend it, if you think its your thing!! i would say the musical is mostly just silly and fun, so if you like that sort of thing, you should absolutely watch it. personally, the first version i watched of it was the 1998 film, so if you want, you could start there! if not, there are a bunch of playlists of full shows on youtube you can find! thank you for asking :-)
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keeps-ache · 8 months ago
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today! on the agenda we have [tears paper away to reveal the single word 'do'] ...
#just me hi#today on the agenda i've added the words 'draw' and 'make valiant efforts' so >:3👍#//vv has sent me an ask and the sketching. oo it's sketching alright hfhs#am i going to make full character designs for these? probably i have no control in that aspect Hbfhvsfjs#if there is ONE thing i can consistently go all the way with it's character design. i literally could not tell you why that is lmao :3#there are nights where i design whole casts of characters and then Forget About Them ?????? like dude. why did we do all that hbfvh#really i made a cast of like 10 characters one night they all had their signature colours clothes jobs hobbies dislikes and personal#relationships and then i......... never thought about them again hhhfhsh#[holds them up like a wet cat] does anybody want a strange half-baked story with a cast of about 12 people who are all clones of one guy#who's trying to kill them. cuz man hfhsh#//anyway all the sidings from that i think i'm coming out of the Saute Mode#what's Saute Mode? well you see it's when i've already taken out the ready-made good stuff in my brain and now i need to put in new#ingredients and let them get hot and ready again. Saute Mode :3#sure it might just be artblock but i think i need an artbreak sometimes so loll#plus Saute Mode means i get to play viddy games without feeling guilty so YAY :33#but Saute Mode does Also mean i sort of don't. talk to anybody out of my own volition HH#it's the side of the coinage. you understand hfbvhs#//annnnnnywhoodle back to my sketching :>>#posing my wretched beloved.. you are strange and impossible to understand hbvhfs#/:3 toodles !
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