#why are you doing this to me @mikel

[kiwiorcore]

guys i can’t do this

[garciapimienta]

I hate that arsenal plays so well these days

[papipedroo]

Traitor (Joel Miller x Reader)

Part Four of Whiskey Tears

Rated: Angst | Violence | Fluff | Suggestive | Age Gap | Assault | Drugging | Language

Summary: You, Joel, and Ellie have been a trio from the start. You were a family, but you find your relationship with Joel withering when he starts to pull away. Now a new comer makes her way into Jackson and into Joel’s heart…

You found yourself sitting at Maria and Tommy’s kitchen table the next morning. Your shirt pulled up as Maria looked at the bruise forming on your side. You were grateful to them letting you stay in their guest room last night and most certainly for the next couple of days.

“So explain to me again how you got a giant sized bruise on your side.��� Maria asked as she assessed the damage that had been done.

Your gaze fluttered to your hands as if I was being asked by my own mom, “I tried to kill Heather.” I mumbled.

Maria looked up from the wound, “You tried to kill Heather.” She repeated, “But why?”

“She threatened Ellie and so I tried to kill her.” You didn’t think it was that bad.

Maria sighed, “Sweetheart. That’s not how we deal with issues here.”

“I’m sorry…” You frowned apologetically, “Not for trying to kill her, but not being civilized about it.”

“Well that’s a start I guess.” Maria placed an ice pack on your bruise, “Thankfully nothing is broken. Did she do this to you?”

“No.” Your throat tightened as you answered, “Joel did.”

“He what?” Maria’s eyes widened, “He did this to you?”

“Joel did what?” Tommy stepped in the kitchen. He made his way to the fruit bowl, grabbing an apple.

“He… He pulled me off of her. I don’t think he meant to hurt me. I just…” Your sigh felt like a heaviness settling on your chest, “He didn’t realized his strength when he shoved me.” At least you hoped he didn’t…

“I’m going to kill him.” Maria seethed as he hand tightened into a fist.

You raised an eyebrow at her, “I’m sorry you can kill Joel, but I can’t kill Heather? Where is the democracy in that?”

“Oh hush.” Maria wanted to nudge you like she usually did, but held back given your current state, “I just don’t understand why he’s being this way.”

The two of you were both talking that you didn’t see Tommy leave, only when you heard the door slam did the both of you go silent.

“You don’t think he’s going over there do you?” Your voice trailed off as your mind ran through all of the possibilities that could happen between the two brothers.

Maria shook her head, “They’re Millers. A punch, a couple of words, and then they’re good. It’s what they do. Maybe Tommy can knock some sense into his brother.”

“She said something to him… Don’t abandon me.” You muttered as you mulled over the events of last night, “It looked like those words really got to him and I just have this unwarranted feeling that she’s manipulating him. Like she’s tightening her grip around what he cares about most which is saving the people he can save.”

“But why would she manipulate him?” Maria’s brows furrowed, “For what reason?”

“I don’t know.” You shook your head before looking at her, “But I refuse to let her tear apart my family. You should have seen her last night Maria. She knew what to say to get under my skin and it worked. Joel took her side.” You looked out the window to see the sun rising slowly, “Again…”

“I’m telling Mikel that you can’t go on patrol today.” Maria muttered as she cleaned up the table.

You gave her a stubborn look, “But it’s my turn to go on patrol, I’m not going to let this keep me from my job. I need to protect this place too.”

“What? You can’t go like this.” Maria countered with a look that only a mother could give.

You gave her a smile as you placed the wrapped ice on the table.

“I’ve traveled the road far worse than this. I can do it, trust me.” You stood up, ignoring the dull ache.

You were grateful that it didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. You were also grateful for the chance to be out of Joel’s sight today.

“See you! Oh and tell Ellie for me that we are having a snowball fight as soon as I get back.” I waved at her goodbye before greeting the chilled morning weather.

It was warmer than yesterday, that was for sure… You thought as you made your way to the stables to meet Mikel.

“I wonder if Ellie is going to wear her jacket today.” You muttered with a motherly tone, “She better be.”

The morning light greeted the home, but it felt anything but comforting. Not with one person of the family missing.

“Miller.” Ellie greeted her dad as she sipped on her orange juice.

It was the orange juice that her mom spent the other day making. It made all the more reason for Ellie to glare at the old man who looked like he hadn’t slept at all last night.

“You callin me Miller now?” Joel huffed as he grabbed himself a coffee mug.

“Yep. Because until my mom comes back, you Miller are nothing, but a stranger to me.” Ellie huffed.

Joel gave her his famous unimpressed look before pouring himself a cup of coffee.

He tried to think of the best way to explain what happened last night. How he reached the top of the stairs and found his firefly trying to kill someone in their home. How he just didn’t want anyone else to die. How he couldn’t understand why she hated Heather so much… Before he could say anything to Ellie, there was a banging at his door.

“Joel!” His brother’s voice carried through the wooden door, “You better get your ass out here right now before I kick this door in!”

“Jesus.” Joel shook and set his coffee down.

Of course he couldn’t have a quiet morning to think about how he would apologize to his firefly and talk about what happened.

His boots thudded against the floor as he made his way to the front door. Another bang from Tommy made his jaw clench.

“What is so important—” He didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence before Tommy was swinging at him. Joel’s eyes widened as he leaned out of the way and grabbed onto his brother’s wrist.

“Jesus Tommy, what the fuck?” Joel grumbled in disbelief.

“You’re an idiot Joel.” Tommy huffed as he yanked his arm to free his wrist, but to no avail.

“I conquer.” Ellie spoke from the kitchen entrance, her orange juice in hand. M

Joel rolled his eyes as he let go of Tommy’s wrist before he turned his attention towards Ellie. He nodded his head towards the direction of the stairs, “Go get ready.”

She groaned, but listened to him nonetheless as she clambered up the stairs.

“You hurt her.” Tommy stated, his tone was more even after his short burst of anger.

Joel gave him a look that soon turned into defeat as he ran a hand through his ruffled hair.

“I know I shouldn’t have kicked her out, but they were going to kill each other Tom. I wasn’t exactly thinkin clearly at that moment.” Joel explained.

“No.” Tommy shook his head as he shoved his brother’s shoulder, “You. Hurt. Her.”

“What do you mean?” Joel pressed.

Tommy continued as the weight of his words settled in to Joel’s heart, “I walked down the stairs this morning to find my wife tending to your girl with a massive bruise on her side.”

Now it was Joel’s turn to look guilty as he finally realized what he had done. Accident or not he hurt her… Joel looked at Tommy with worry, “A bruise?”

“She said you shoved her.” Tommy elaborated.

His words held a darker tone, one that Joel rarely saw in his brother except for the time back in the day when Tommy would call wasted from a jail cell. This was different though because it wasn’t Tommy bashing someone’s head against a bar… No… This was Joel’s fault and Joel would get eaten by a clicker before he would deny that.

The pieces came back together quickly. Joel vaguely remembered last night, but he knew that he pulled her off of Heather to try to break up their fight. He just didn’t realize how much strength he had used.

“Shit.” Joel seethed.

“Yeah.” Tommy agreed, “Just you wait until you see Maria. She’s pissed at you.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt her Tommy. I would never… I didn’t mean to.” Joel ran a hand through his hair again, this time with anxiety and guilt rushing through him, “Is she okay?”

“It’s a big bruise.” Tommy’s gaze softened at his brother’s distraught state, “But there’s nothing broken. She’ll be fine in a few days.”

Joel nodded before immediately reaching for his winter jacket and shrugged it on, “I need to talk to her.”

“Can’t.” Tommy stated simply.

Joel turned to his brother with furrowed brows, “What do ya mean I can’t?” He muttered.

“It’s her route today and knowing that girl she convinced Maria that she could go.” Tommy looked up at the where the sun was, “You can try, but I’m not sure they’ll be there.” Tommy explained, his arms crossed as he watched the way his brother’s shoulders slumped in defeat.

“I’ll take my chances.” Joel grabbed his coat and rushed out the door.

“If she ain’t there then can grovel to her when she gets back.” Tommy proposed, “Hopefully then she’ll be less likely to stab you.” Tommy joked as he turned and walked down the steps.

Joel carried on walking when he heard his brother call out to him.

“Word of advice brother. Get your shit together and kick Heather out before you loose your firefly for good. There’s no use in protecting someone else when you end up loosing someone you care more about.”

“Where is he going?” Heather made her way out of the door.

“To get his girl back.” Tommy looked to Heather, “Look I don’t know the full extent of what’s going on, but I heard enough to know that you should stay out of their business.”

“He is my business.” She said defiantly.

Tommy’s eyes narrowed, “No. He’s her business. They’ve been together a lot longer than you’ve been stayin here.”

“Tell me.” She looked Tommy in the eyes, her voice still as sweet as ever, but her gaze held something different, “Right now. If he were to choose between her and me. Who would it be?”

“I suggest taking that offer Tris gave you and move out…” Tommy said all that she needed to hear, “If you’re as nice as you seem then you can provide this act of kindness.”

“Today preferably.” Ellie muttered as she pushed passed Heather and walked towards Tommy.

“Yeah.” Heather muttered before she walked back inside and slammed the door shut.

“I am not spending the day with her.” Ellie began to walk, “Come on, I’m hungry and if you’re here then I know that Maria is the one making breakfast.”

Tommy chuckled before following after the girl.

You were trudging through the snow, seeing the barn on a few steps from you. Mikel stood by two saddled horses, his dirty blonde hair was covered by a tan cowboy hat, weathered by age and sun.

“Morning.” Mikel waved at you, his accent thick.

You remember asking him the first time you both went out on patrol together. He told you his parents were from Romania before they settled here in America.

“You look rough. You doing okay?” Mikel watched how my stride was slower than normal.

“Yeah. Everything’s good.” I nodded my head not wanting to get into your private business with Mikel. He was a friend of course, but you like sharing your problems with anyone outside of your family. Thankfully he didn’t push the topic.

“You found a new hat.” I commented as I reached for one of the horses’s reins, “Hope you didn’t wait too long.”

“John gave this to me. Pretty cool don’t you think?” He tipped his hat before getting on his horse, “And no. Not long. I just came out when you showed up.” Mikel handed you a rifle.

“Thanks.” You said and went to check the barrel to make sure it was loaded.

“You don’t have to. John said he loaded it.” Mikel said.

You smiled at him, “Sorry, it’s a force of habit from Joel. I can’t help it.” You looked back down again to check the gun until you heard his voice.

Speak his name and he shall appear.

“Firefly.” He called out to you.

It made you look up, forgetting about the gun as Joel engulfed you in his strong arms.

“Joel—”

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Jesus. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I promised I would never hurt you and I did last night.” Joel curled his fingers into your hair as he breathed in your scent, “Don’t go today sweetheart, I’ll go. Just please stay with Ellie.”

You pushed back the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes, “No.” You stated firmly as you carefully pushed him away even if you were ripping your heart out of your chest, “I need time away from you right now and waiting worriedly for you to come home safe won’t help that.”

“You’re the one who hurt her? I should’ve know it was you.” Mikel stepped up beside you, “Why don’t you leave her alone old man.”

Joel’s fist clench as he clocked in on the young man with a hard glare, “What did you just say?” The word barely got out, sounding more like a muffled growl.

“You heard me.” Mikel pushed Joel’s shoulder, “She deserves better than you. Someone who can protect her.”

Joel didn’t try to fight back, of course he didn’t. The last thing he wanted to do was frighten you by pummeling the young guys face in. No he stood like a force that couldn’t be moved and let Mikel shove him as if he were some tough guy when in reality, Mikel’s shove didn’t even make Joel stumble.

Joel’s glare hardened, “I know she does, but I don’t think you’re the one to decide what she wants.”

“Mikel stop.” You placed a hand on his arm and pulled him back, but he slipped from your grasp heading straight to Joel.

“Oh, but I think she’ll let me with the cute little obedient thing that she is. After all she lets you run all over her does she not?” Mikel whispered so lowly in Joel’s face that you couldn’t hear what he was saying, “It will be easy to get her to behave once she’s mine.”

He took back everything he just said. He could pummel this guys face in. Joel’s fist connected with Mikel’s jaw within the two seconds it took for Mikel to smirk. That smirk however was wiped clean off his face as he fell harshly into the snow.

“Fuck!” Mikel cried out as he clutched his jaw from the seething pain.

“Joel!” You gasped at the sight, unsure of whether to be angry or appalled. You decided that both reactions would do.

“I’m sorry.” Joel apologized to you and only you for having to see that. He didn’t apologize to Mikel who clutched his jaw in pain. He hoped that he would feel that punch for weeks, maybe even have a fracture in his jaw… But Joel could only hope.

“I can’t believe you right now!” You cried out absolutely frustrated over the entire morning. Joel’s eyes widened as you stepped towards him and shoved him back. He couldn’t be angry with you though. You didn’t know what Mikel said. He just let you try to push him, “You’re the one who did all of this. You have no right to be angry!” You yelled at him before turning around.

You reached down to help Mikel up, “Are you good to go on patrol?” You asked him as you looked at the bruise already forming on his jaw. Mikel muttered a yes, a glare directed towards Joel.

“Go get on your horse and we’ll head out.” You told Mikel who walked over to his horse without complaint, being sure to hide the smirk growing on his face.

“Don’t go.” Joel’s focus was solely on you, his hand reaching out as if he wanted to take your hand, but held back, “He—”

“I don’t care what he said or what you just did Joel. Go home.” You glared at him.

“I don’t like him around you.” He pressed, his glare zoning in on Mikel.

“Well tough luck Joel. You don’t get to go around being jealous over the fact that Mikel’s my friend after all the shit you’ve done to me with Heather.” I spat out her name like it was venom, “Go home Joel. I don’t want to see you for a while.”

His face fell, “You don’t mean that.”

“I don’t know what I mean right now.” Your gaze flickered to the ground, “Please.”

Joel sighed, his shoulders tense and angry at himself for being unable to convince you to stay, “Fine.” He agreed gruffly, “As long as I know you’re coming back tonight.”

“Why should I come back?” You muttered.

“For Ellie.” He knew it was a low blow, but he didn’t want you to leave them.

“You’ve pushed me away for months Joel. What do you want me to do?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest to hide the anxiousness that you felt.

“I know.” Joel nodded numbly, “I just… Fuck.” He sighed, “I don’t want anyone else dying on my hands.”

“People die Joel.” You explained as you stepped back, “It’s choosing who you love more. Her or me. And to be honest… I don’t think I’ll like the answer you give me.” You turned away from him and mounted your horse.

“You.” He said when the only thing left of you was your horses hoof prints in the snow, “Always.”

It was an awkward first thirty minute ride for you and Mikel. The two of you kept to yourselves and welcomed the timid silence.

“Is he always like that?” Mikel muttered.

“Not always… It’s been…” You sighed as you adjusted the gun on your shoulder, “Is your jaw okay? He’s got a pretty strong right hook. I’m surprised you’re still conscious.”

He shook his head with a breathy laugh, “I’m tougher than I look. What do you even see in someone as broken as him?” He wondered as he looked at you.

That question caught you off guard and it took you a moment to answer, but you knew the truth. It lied deeply in your bones, an echo of your heart.

“Everything.” You looked up to the sky, “The good, the bad, the broken, I see everything…”

“I could treat you better you know.” Mikel fixed his hat, “If you gave me a chance. I think we would be good together.”

You breathed out a laugh, “Oh really now?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

He dipped his head towards you and put on his best Texan accent, “You bet darlin.”

The two of you broke into laughter.

“We’ve gotten along well for months have we not? If you give me a chance I can show you how you should be loved.” He continued, a hopeful look in his blue eyes.

“Thanks.” Your tone was a lot more calm than from earlier, “But I have my Joel waiting for me back home even if we are fighting.” You gave him a soft smile, “I’m glad that we are beginning to become friends though. I hope we can keep this friendship.”

“Me too…” He replied and you felt that was enough.

Maybe if you paid closer attention you would see something was off. The shadows in the trees or the hand tightening around a rifle.

“Let’s head out a bit further today.” Mikel suggested and you nodded your head.

“Alright.” You answered.

You should have paid more attention.

Joel entered the house with a heavy sigh and a deep ache in his chest. That did not go as he planned… He fucked up. He really fucked up and now he wasn’t sure if you would come back. It was like you were slipping through his fingers and he could do nothing to hold onto you.

“What did you do?” Ellie spoke up.

Surprised at the voice, Joel turned around to face Ellie who sat on the staircase behind him. Her boots were still untied, but it looked like she had been sitting there for a while.

“How long have you been sitting there?” Joel asked.

“Since I heard you groveling up the steps.” Ellie crossed her arms, “What did you do?”

Joel cringed at her words, “I… I fucked up.” Joel took a few steps towards her.

“I can see that, but how bad?” She pressed, “She is coming home isn’t she? She is right Miller?”

He grabbed onto the staircase railing to help him sit on the step, but it didn’t make crouching down any easier, “I don’t know…”

Ellie snorted, “You really are old.”

“Shut up.” Joel spat as he finally sat down beside her.

“What did you do?” Ellie asked again, “Why are you so worried she isn’t coming home?”

It was quiet for a few moments before Joel finally answered Ellie’s question, “I punched Mikel.”

“No!” Ellie gasped, “You didn’t!”

Joel nodded, “I did.”

Ellie knew that Joel didn’t act without reason, “What did he do?” She asked this time.

“He isn’t good for her.” Joel answered, not wanting to relay the words Mikel had said to him to Ellie. She would go chasing after the two and pummel Mikel to the ground.

Ellie wanted to lighten the mood and so she smirked, “Bet you were jealous.”

Joel glared at her from the corner of his eyes, “Was not.”

She started to laugh. She couldn’t help it. It must have been hilarious, “Oh you definitely were!”

Joel only grunted at her in response not wanting to continue this conversation anymore. He wondered if maybe Tommy would have a job for him today… He could sure use the distraction.

Ellie wiped at her tears, “You know I really don’t know what she sees in you. I mean I do, but I don’t.” She explained in the nicest way she possibly could which for Ellie was being very blunt. Something that her and Joel had in common.

Ellie and her honest words have always made Joel irritated, but he knew deep down that she was right. At least about this.

It was a while before Ellie looked towards him again. She saw the sullen look on his face and watched the way his scowl seemed to deepen even more. Carefully, Ellie rested a hand on his shoulder, as delicately as she could as if she was about to startle a bear.

“You saved who you needed to save. Now it’s time to let Heather live her own life and bring mom home.” She said.

Joel sighed deeply, knowing the kid was right, “I don’t know what she sees in me either.” Joel answered her honestly. He couldn’t tell her that she would come home and why should she? He treated her horribly and now it’s hitting him in the chest. Making it tighten as if he couldn’t breathe. It was the same feeling he felt when they first arrived here. When he thought that he couldn’t protect his girls and now… Now he feels like he’s loosing the one woman he’s grown to love, “I’m going to go see Tommy about some work. I’ll be back later.”

He feels like he’s lost her for good and that truly terrifies him…

It’s been more than a couple of hours since you first es headed out on your patrol.

“How long have we been out here?” You asked as you looked up at the darkening sky.

“Not too long though we should probably head back soon…” Mikel’s voice trailed off, “Let’s just head down this bend and we’ll turn around.”

You agreed to his suggestion and the two of you continued down the snowy bend. It was a few more minutes of riding before you saw that Mikel was squinting at something.

“What is it?” You asked.

“I don’t know…” Mikel stated and the two of you rode a little closer to see what it was.

You both looked at the abandoned building that was down the hill.

“What is a cabin doing out here?” You asked.

“Don’t know. No one has ever been out this far…” He muttered, “Let’s go check it out.”

Mikel’s words only prompted you to move forward as you both traveled down the snowy hill and towards the small cabin.

It looked to be old, and most likely unused as there was no smoke billowing out the chimney from this chilled weather. The two of you cleared the area first before circling the home. Mikel went around back as you entered the cabin. The opened door provided some light, but not enough to see the inside of the cabin in its entirety. It wasn’t until you pulled back the tattered curtain to the windows that you realized the place fully furnished.

You thought there wouldn’t be much to it, scraped barren from the world that had been pushed upon it, but you were wrong… And you didn’t like that you were.

You looked around carefully, not finding anything else out of the ordinary until you ventured further towards the fireplace. Even though there was no flame or smoke to the coals, they were still hot. An unwelcome chill feel over you as you quickly stood up, much more alert than you were previously.

You remained silent as you crept to the front of the house, gun now raised as you went to find Mikel. You hoped that he was still walking about outside and that whoever was here previously was long gone. You slowly stepped outside, eyes immediately locking onto the figure in front of you. You expected to see raiders, a clicker, hell a bloater would have made more sense then Mikel standing there with his own rifle directed towards you.

You didn’t lower your weapon as you asked him, “What are you doing Mikel?”

“I need you to listen to me. Please.” His request was a near plee, something that you found irking.

“I’m listening.” Your eyes darkened at him.

“I fell for you the first time I saw you all those months ago. You were like a breath of fresh air and rain. I did everything to get near you, even fixing us to go on routes together when Joel left. She said I could have anything I liked if I did what she asked. She promised me this.”

“She? What you mean she?” I muttered as I wracked my brain for an answer that could explain all of this.

“She said I could keep you.” Mikel’s grip tightened around his gun as a crazed look fell over his eyes, “I followed orders. I did everything for this moment and now. Now it’s my turn to have what I want.”

“You led me here.” You realized, “This is your cabin.” You didn’t want to listen any more to his words. The only thing on your mind was getting back to your family. Your eyes narrowed as you squeezed the trigger without hesitation, but you didn’t get the recoil that you were expecting. You tried again… Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Your anxiety picked up when you began to realize this.

“You can shoot all you like. There’s no bullets.” He stated and that was all the answer you need. That’s why he handed you the gun earlier. That’s why he was assuring you it was loaded. You should have checked. You shouldn’t have forgotten about the damn gun. You should have checked. Joel would have…

Joel.

You wished for everything in your soul that he was here with you right now. Fuck. Quickly you threw the gun to the snow and ran as fast as your legs could carry you.

Mikel sighed as he aimed his gun at you, “I was really hoping that you would see it my way.” He fired without hesitation, shooting you in the leg, “I did this all for you. For us.”

You gave a blood curling scream as you fell, staining the cold white snow in the warmth of your blood. You heard more footsteps and the sound of horses from behind you and you knew then that your home was about to be destroyed.

“Everything is prepared for your arrival.” Mikel stated, “Don’t keep Heather waiting.”

“Another successful raid.” One of the guys chuckled out, “She’s too cunning. I knew that was why John kept her around. And that girl? You gonna share?”

“This one is mine.” Mikel answered and you could hear his footsteps head towards you.

“Joel!” You screamed his name even if he couldn’t hear you, “Joel!”

Mikel straddled your waist, digging the bit of his gun into your wounded leg, “You’re still screaming his name even after everything he’s done to you? I am better than him!” He yelled as you cried out in pain, “Why can’t you see that?!”

You turned and watched over half the town population of raiders heading towards Jackson. It left a horrid feeling inside your gut as you could do nothing lie in the snow.

Your only thoughts were of Ellie and Joel.

“I’ll make you see that I’m the one for you.” He whispered in your ear.

Please survive. You must survive.

Silence fell over Joel and Ellie as Heather served them dinner. They were both lost in their own thoughts as they waited for her to come home.

“It’s getting late… Do you think something happened to her?” Ellie asked as she peered out the window the darkening sky.

“I’m not sure dear. Maybe they had to find shelter from the weather picking up?” Heather placated as she served them.

“I’ll go check with Tommy, see if she’s there.” Joel began to stand.

“But your food.” Heather pointed to his untouched plate, “You should at least eat something before you go. Don’t you think?”

“I’ll be back.” Joel reassured, “You two can eat without me.”

“I’m coming with you.” Ellie stated as she pushed her plate aside, ready to join him on his search.

Joel immediately shook his head while he was putting on his coat, “I don’t want you catching a cold out there. I’ll go find her.”

“Promise?” Ellie’s eyes showed her worry as she looked up at Joel.

“Promise.”

“Stay safe then. I’ll look after Ellie until you get back.” Heather nodded towards Joel. He returned the gesture.

“And Heather?” Joel called out.

“Yes?” Her gaze looked hopeful.

“We’ll discuss more about your move with Tris. I think your well acquainted with the lifestyle here to start building your new life on your own.” He said before heading out.

“I hope you like meatloaf.” Heather ground her teeth as she tried to remain calm from Joel’s biting words.

But she would make him see…

Not at all… Ellie thought as she looked at her plate. She cut into the meatloaf as she watch Heather serve herself. It looked off, but she warily took a bite and swallowed the unknown substance.

“Why are aren’t you eating yours?” Ellie asked as she slowly chewed her food.

“Not that hungry I suppose, but that just means more for you.” It was the way Heather’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes that made Ellie feel uneasy.

Slowly she put down her fork, feeling nauseous, “I’m not that hungry either.” She said, but she had already eaten some of the dinner, “I think im going to go lie down.” She tried to stand, but the room spun and she ended up crashing to the ground.

“Sweet dreams dear.” Was the last thing Ellie heard before falling asleep.

She would make him see that they are meant to be together.

Joel checked the barn first before heading to his brother’s house. He quickly noted that two horses were still missing from there stables. That only let Joel’s worst fear come true at realizing she wasn’t over at Tommy and Maria’s house. It made his swift walk into almost a jog as he raced over to Tommy’s.

“What do you mean she hasn’t come back yet?” Tommy asked the moment Joel barged in, letting them know what has happened.

“I don’t know. I was hoping she would be here, but her horse is still missing. I think something has happened to her.” Joel ran a hand through his hair.

“Well round up some folks and head out there on a search.” Maria insisted as she stood up.

“That sounds like a plan. I’ll get—“ Before Tommy could finish his sentence multiple gunshots could be heard through the town.

“What’s that?” Maria’s eyes widened at the loud noise.

“Whatever it is. It doesn’t sound good.” Tommy murmured as he quickly put his boots on.

Joel’s heart was racing as he tried to keep a level head, “Tommy, Ellie—“

Tommy nodded his head, “Go get her and bring her here. Maria you stay and keep an eye out for them okay? I’ll go find out what’s going on.”

“It sounds like a raid.” Maria sounded worried as the gunshots continued, now paired with yells and screams.

“That’s why I need you to stay here, arm yourself, and hide. Wait for Joel to come back with Ellie and I’ll be right behind them okay?” Tommy pressed a tender kiss to Maria’s forehead before he and Joel were out the door, armed and ready for a fight.

“I’ll head with you for a couple blocks and then break off okay?” Tommy whispered to Joel.

Joel grunted with a nod as the two blended in with the night.

It wasn’t long before Joel was silently hurrying up the steps and threw his front door. The house was dark and it seemed oddly quiet as he searched the place for any sign of Ellie. He quietly made his way upstairs and to her room where he was pushing the door open. He expected her to be awake, packing her backpack, but instead she found her unconscious and tied with duck tape on her bed. His footsteps were quick as he rushed over to her, but froze when he heard the clock of a gun.

His piercing eyes flitted over to the corner of the room where the moon shined on Heather’s face. There she stood with a gun pointedly in Ellie’s direction. She knew what she was doing. His life meant nothing to him, but Ellie… Well she was his world.

“You know I really thought you were smarter than this Joel.” Heather tsked with a sigh, “I thought this would go a lot smoother too, but you just couldn’t choose me could you?”

“What did you do to her?” Joel’s gun was facing her with no hesitance to kill if he got the wrong answer.

“Don’t worry, I only drugged little Ellie that’s all.” She tilted her head, “She’ll be fine as long as you are cooperative so why don’t you be a good boy and put down the gun.”

Joel slowly lowered to the floor as he placed his rifle down, “Why are you doing this?” Joel’s voice dropped lower as he quickly assessed the situation.

“Didn’t you hear? This town is in need of a little remodeling and I know just the group to get that done.” She smirked.

“You don’t mean…” Joel’s fist clenched at the feeling of betrayal seeping through him.

“Oh yes. Surprise! You should be happy. All of this couldn’t have happened without you.” Heather smiled.

“I didn’t.” Joel huffed defiantly.

“But you did. You helped me dethrone John. Took him out so I could be on top and it’s quite nice up here, but I don’t want to be alone. You’ve shown me just what love could feel like and I know that we could rule this town together now that your precious firefly is out of the way.”

“What did you do to her?” He growled and Heather rolled her eyes.

“You’ll never see her again, I can promise you that.” She laughed, “And you dug yourself too deep to gain her forgiveness Joel. Something you’re never going to get from her again.” She stepped towards him, “Why don’t we just have a glass of whiskey and forget about her hm?”

“What. Did. You. Do.” His tone was as harsh as the gun fire outside.

“Why do the tiny details matter? She’s gone. You’ve made it perfectly clear when you casted her aside. I saw it in your eyes Joel. You feel something for me!” She urged, “All you need to do is just give us a chance.” Heather pleaded, “You, me, and Ellie would be good together. We will be the perfect family.”

“No.” Joel’s tone held no room for consideration, “You’re not her. You’ll never be her. I don’t know what kind of delusion you have where we end up together, but it will never happen.”

“Oh fuck you.” She glared at him, “Is this really because of her?” Her hands shook with rage as she held the gun.

“She means more to me than you will ever know and if she is dead. I promise you, the infected will be the least of your worries.” He threatened.

“Really now?” She scoffed as she tried to subdue her anger, “Why don’t you worry about the girl you still have left hm? You really want me to be the villain here then fine…”

Her gaze narrowed as her gun clocked, “Dawn is coming your way and it’s about to bleed red.”

[julianalvarez9]

acting on it / martin ødegaard

author's note: been avoiding writing smut for this man for ages. i started this back when arsenal played liverpool so it's been A WHILE. not proofread bc i just needed to get it out quick. needless to say this isn't real, don't know the real reason why they took him out so yeah, fiction :)

warnings: smut with plot. badly translated norwegian pet names (?, kinda hair pulling, kinda choking, kinda public sex (they could get walked in anytime) ¿?

wc: 2k words

summary: suggesting to take martin out of the game to avoid any serious injury backfires when he blames you for being subbed off.

"why did you tell him to take me out?".

you knew this talk would be coming, but still, the loud thud when the norwegian shut the door a bit too hard startled you. the draw was rough for everyone at arsenal, and at some point, felt almost like a loss. the players got into the dressing room with their heads hung low after clapping for the fans, and apart from some encouraging pats on the back, you didn’t really get to talk to anyone in particular.

you saw how angry martin had left the pitch when arteta decided to take him off, but he hadn’t said anything: of course he hadn’t. he was a good captain, and he wouldn’t ever question the gaffer’s decisions. at least, not publicly.

but under the anger, he knew it was a good decision: he wasn’t asking for the ball and leading his team like he used to do at every game. like he was supposed to. he knew his performance was below average, but he refused to attribute it to the minor discomfort he had during the week. he was fine during warm ups and the entire first half. he couldn’t afford to get injured now, at this point.

being seated during the last ten minutes of the match was the worst thing for him. seeing how the win slipped through their fingers felt like a knife being turned on his stomach. and even if martin knew they still had the top position secured, the lead they had against city was cut short, and they hoped it wouldn’t be something they turned to regret at the end of the line.

martin was observant, not only off the pitch, but during games, too. he frequently saw the bench, awaiting for instructions offered by the manager or movement in the sidelines, signaling some players being subbed in. when he saw you, the team’s physio, talking to arteta, he knew he would be the player to be taken off.

“you were only meant to play 60 minutes, martin. you played 80,” you reasoned. before the game, you had been consulted how many minutes was the norwegian able to play, without risking an injury. knowing martin, you were sure that he wouldn't appreciate being subbed off if there was still a match being played, but you were aware that mikel was considering the bigger picture -there were still games that needed to be won, and it would be immensely more difficult if they were without the norwegian on the pitch. you understood arteta's worries about his key player being sidelined for way too long if he were to make the matters worse.

he wasn't happy with your response, but he didn't say anything else: he stayed in the way of the door, impeding the way out, whether intentionally or not, trapping you in the room with him. the frown is still visible on his features, glooming his usual prince charming looks for something darker, almost malicious. you think that he's maybe transported back to the game, reliving again and again what went wrong, and you try to ease his worries. "not everything is your fault, you know? you have to take care of yourself first”.

he scoffed. "i'm the captain. everything is my fault".

at this point, you've grown tired. all you want to do is finish packing your things, and get home as fast as possible. but the presence of the norwegian is stopping you from completing the checklist you have in hand. "what do you want me to do, ødegaard? i’m doing my job, which is to keep you all healthy," you say, while finishing to check the last thing you had on the list, assuring that you aren't forgetting anything. you throw the little notepad to the desk, while sitting on the empty space, as martin watches your every movement like a hunter keeping track of his prey. "you can't play 90 minutes every three days: you need to rest, or you'll get a serious injury. if you have any problems with it, talk to arteta”.

you're mirroring the frown he had for the last five minutes, and martin can't stop thinking about how cute you look while trying to act mad at him. "quit the attitude. i'm supposed to be mad, not you".

now it's your turn to scoff. "you are making me mad by trying to take your frustrations on me, like i'm in the wrong for doing my fucking job".

"if you think this is me taking my frustrations on you-” his blue eyes turn almost dark gray, and martin takes big, rushed steps towards your figure, making his wider frame tower over yours. he lifts his hand, brushing a string of hair that had fallen from your makeshift ponytail behind your ear, and his hand rest softly on the side of your neck, with his palm surely covering half of your skin.

he looks for hesitation in your eyes, something that would tell him to back off, but he can't find any. instead, your breath is ragged, and you're trying really hard to keep eye contact with him while trying not to visibly shut your legs in a way that lets you ease some of the tension. "this would be me taking my frustrations on you," he corrects, now his thumb resting across your neck, restricting your airflow but just slightly.

you're not sure if you feel dizzy because this is what you wanted all along, ever since you've crossed paths with the norwegian, or due to how intoxicating you find his touch: either way, you gasp for air, and it has martin smiling wickedly, in a form you haven't really seen before. "oh, does my pretty girl like being choked?".

the whine you emit is, surely, pathetic, but it fires something inside of him. his grab on your neck is a bit rougher after hearing the sweetest sound he had only dreamed of hearing, but it’s not enough to worry you about the possible marks he could be leaving. still, you can feel it, just as you can feel the desk behind you that would not really leave you any space to escape, if you wanted to. but you don't want to, although you probably should remember where you're at, that you're working and he's a player.

the smallest glimpse of reality comes back to your senses when you hear a sort of commotion outside, and you're cut back from his spell, just barely. "martin, we-".

he hears the hesitation in your voice, and is quick to lure you back in, his kisses leaving a wet trail under his way. "i know we can't. and i know we don't have enough time. but i need this, i need you. will you let me?. the way he's whispering in your ear makes your skin flourish in goosebumps, joined by how he's nudging at your neck, while smelling your perfume, driving you mad. he realizes when the smallest whimper leaves your lips and is proud of his doing, showing by the way it oozes out of his mouth when he whispers "that's my good girl".

your hands are quick to find their way under his shirt, having the chance to feel the toned abs you've never dared to look at before while trying to keep up with the feverish kisses shared between you two. the second his mouth trails down to your collarbone, you slip a playful "eager, aren't we?" when you realize his hard on pressed against your leg. "could say the same about you," he bites back, after his leg graces your center and you're eager to rub yourself against it.

you two don’t even get to take your clothes fully before he slides into you. his right hand is covering your mouth, helping you in silencing the moans that seem impossible to contain, while he isn’t much better at keeping quiet. especially, when your hands are pulling on his blonde hair, driving him crazy. you’re coming undone under him, and martin can’t help but groan at the sight of you, a wreck for him, while taking him so well.

through his grunts, he can barely manage to warm "not gonna last long if you keep on squeezing me like that, kjaere," but it’s to no use, given that you’re still clenching on him tightly, your warm walls swallowing his length fully as he snaps his hips in and out of you in a relentless pace. the desk underneath you shakes with force, given that you’re perched against it while trying to stay on your feet.

it’s not long before your whole body is shaking under his frame, as his left hand lifts your leg up, now hugging him by his waist in an attempt to bring him impossibly closer. you let out another moan that gets muffled by the hand he still has over your mouth, and you’re grateful for it, because in your hazy mind filled with pleasure, you can’t mute your sounds as your orgasm approaches.

“where?” he asks, looking deep into your eyes to ensure you won’t be too loud, before freeing your lips to speak. your voice comes out hoarse when you reply where you want him to cum. “i-inside, please-”.

the norwegian has to crush his mouth to yours in a bruising, hard kiss, before his sounds are the ones that alert the outside world of what's happening in your little workspace. his bruising pace fails when he's on the edge, and a soft moan that slips out of you and directly onto his ear makes him lose it. he's deep into you, coating your insides which provoques your own frenzy to disinvolve.

everything gets too much for you, and you’re not sure you can wrap your mind around your surroundings, but martin keeps you afloat, holding your figure flush against him. "hey, you're okay, i'm here," he reassures, his soft touch grazing your cheek in a loving way when he sees your eyes glaze over. it's purely because of the mind shattering orgasm you just experienced, but he cares, wants to know you're okay. the gesture is intimate, certainly feels almost more intimate than the moment you've just shared, and once you reassure him that you're okay, he kisses the crown of your hair before proceeding to dress himself properly.

"you like the armband, right? i'm bringing it next time," martin shows his million dollar smile before picking his shirt from the floor, and puts it again in a quick motion, smothering the creases in hopes that no one that sees him leaving your office could figure out what went down between you two.

"already thinking about the next time, ødegaard?".

the door knock startles you both, and breaks the atmosphere previously held in the four walls. his hair is a bit messy after you pulled endlessly from the locks not even five minutes ago, but he makes a quick move to tame it, passing his long fingers through his gold strands and setting it in place, exactly how he likes it, before you open the door to find just the one person that you didn’t want to see.

"oh, i knew you'd still be here," arteta calls upon seeing you, still in the secluded area you work in. he doesn't find it weird that you remain here, knowing that you’re the first one to arrive and the last one to leave, just like he is. instead, his eyes furrow when he sees better into your eyes, still a bit glassy.

"martin, did you make her cry?".

his hands are in his pockets, trying to hide off the tent still present in his joggings. it doesn’t take him more than a few seconds to gather a believable enough excuse, and you’re kinda impressed about it, figuring that he might have thought about this more than you thought. "she was upset about the game" he explained, lips pursed without giving out much emotion, quite like how you saw him answer the interviews he did post-match. "told her to not worry too much. we'll win next time,” martin smiled, turning his stare to you now. “for you, right?".

[armands-cuck-chair]

"'Exceptional negro.' 'Thank you, sir.' It was the call and response of my entire life. I had let them talk to me like that so long I stopped hearing it. 'Yes sir', 'of course, sir', 'subject, verb, agreement, sir', smile, nod, 'yes, sir.' They all came from the same organ inside me, an organ unknown to science at the time, because what scientist would look for an organ found only in black men who use their weakness to rise? But I wasn't a man anymore. I was something else. I had powers now, and decades of rage to process, and it was both random and unfortunate the man picked that night to dabble in fuckery."

One of my favorite Louis quotes of all time. And it makes me so happy when I'm watching black reactors watch this scene because it's obviously so cathartic for them. I like watching black reaction content for this show in particular, because it helps me as a white person appreciate the show on a whole other level that I would be incapable of on my own. It was actually a black acter that made me interested in watching the show in the first place!

I had seen gifs on tumblr and I wanted to get a feel for the show before I bought it. I was a fan of the 1994 movie and had read some of the book, but it did always bother me that Louis in both of those versions of the story was a slave owner. And especially in the movie, which adds that whole gross slave master/enslaved black woman romance racist trope that always made me uncomfortable, even before I could articulate why. (At least the slaves get freed and then they burn down the plantation? Seriously, don't get me started on that aspect of the 1994 movie.) I was really intrigued by the fact that the show chose to make Louis a black creole man, instead of a white creole man, and also the switching of the time period. But because some aspects of the source material were...not great, I was worried that that change might not have been handled the best. Vampire media oftentimes don't treat their black characters very well. So when I decided to watch reaction content of it to get a feel for the show, I wanted to hear a black perspective on it.

So I watched ShalayaHomebody TV's reaction first (also her Sandman reactions are so good, she is so funny, you should absolutely subscribe), and I was pleasantly surprised because, you know, the bar is in Hell. I immediately bought the first season and I have been obsessed with the show and have had The Vampire Chronicles brainrot ever since.

A while ago, I watched Syntell's reactions with Mikel Claire on his channel and I was sort of blown away by him saying this about the scene when Sam takes Louis's tickets to the Theatre des Vampires show in the fake fangs and white vampire makeup: "I wonder if that's like blackface to them?" Like, as a white person, my mind just straight up didn't go there, but as soon as he said it I totally got it. It made me think of how Josephine Baker had performed in blackface as a black woman, because she could get more money performing to white audiences and that's the only way white audiences at the time would watch anything having to do with black people. It made me look at the whole Theatre des Vampires differently.

After Claudia proclaimed that the trial was a stoning, Alex of Jessa and Alex Watch said: "No, it's a lynching!" And...yeah! It basically was.

I could keep giving examples, but I'm stoned and rambling and this post is already going to be incredibly long as it is. I just have a lot to say!

The show might not handle every single thing exactly right 100% of the time in regards to race, nothing does, but I really appreciate the show taking pains to accurately cover the typical attitudes regarding race in the time periods it's set in, including the present. That's not to say that any scrutiny or criticism isn't warranted, there will always be blind spots. And like I said, the bar is in Hell, but I think it's really cool and good that they took the time to sit back and say, "okay, how does changing this character's race change their history and how they navigate the world?" Especially when there are white supremacists in the US government who think teaching about the history and the structural nature of racism not be taught because it will "make white kids grow up hating themselves". 🙄

I don't know, man. I just saw people criticizing some of the Devil's Minion fandom for their treatment of Louis when I was browsing the tag and like...I don't want to contribute to making black fans of the show feel shut out and like they don't have a space in the fandom. It's like that meme: "I got so caught up in the euphoria of shipping Devil's Minion that for a moment I forgot racism exists."

I don't say it enough, but I love this incarnation of Louis and Claudia. I love that there are so many black fans who feel seen and represented. I love that the show isn't just a sea of 99% white characters like the books are, but keeping everything that makes the books compelling and great and then elevating it by making it more inclusive.

Don't sideline the black fans in the IWTV community. Watch black reacters. Engage with them. Listen to them. You might not agree with every take they have, but I promise you that it will make you enjoy the show from a whole new perspective.

[pensat-i-fet]

The (only) one I love (Martin Ødegaard x Reader, ft Rúben Dias)

**After posting this Rúben imagine, I got a request to do something similar but with Ødegaard. And this is what I came up with. There is a little Rúben cameo and...he might not be that great in this story but oh well 😅 enjoy!! ❤️**

Word count: 2887

Masterlist

Wattpad

Jealousy was a very bad companion. It was an irrational feeling that made people say and do very stupid things. No one wanted to feel jealous. And yet…

“You’re going to Manchester?”

“Yes. Just for the weekend”, you said, not noticing the way Martin looked at you. “It’d be fun to see everyone”.

“Sure”.

“You ok? Worried you’ll miss me too much?”, you teased.

“Yeah, that’s it”.

Even if Martin’s smile didn’t convince you fully that it was only that, you let it slide. It was true that you hadn’t spent that much time together lately but you really needed some time away to catch up with your friends and that work trip was a great option to do just that.

Your year studying abroad in Lisbon turned into a job at Benfica, which then led you to your job at City. There, your good relationship with Mikel Arteta made you take his offer of working with him at Arsenal. You were extremely happy in London but you missed Manchester. And especially, the Portuguese boys. You had already worked with Rúben when he still played for Benfica. And once at City, you became friends with Bernardo almost as easily.

The season had been a strange one for you. Arsenal were doing so well but City was always behind, ready to take any opportunity to go back to the top of the table. It was sort of ideal in a way. If Arsenal won, your team won. But if they didn’t, your former team would win. Your friends would win.

Someone who didn’t see it that way was Martin. Even if you had an unspoken rule of not dating players, once you met Martin, that rule banished. You were charmed by his personality the second you talked to him and you already thought he was really cute before meeting him in person, so…

“Let’s go to the match!”

Once you got to the stadium, it was time to separate from Martin. He had been pretty quiet on the ride to the stadium but you didn’t worry much about it. It wasn’t that unusual for him to be like that.

“Good luck, my love”, you said, kissing him and hugging him tightly. You knew how nervous he got before matches and how much your good wishes meant to him.

Despite all the silly thoughts in his mind, your hug made him relax. You were there with him. And he trusted you. There was no reason to be jealous. And yet…

**

Another bad result for Arsenal, while City kept winning all of their matches, meant Martin was pretty upset after the match. He loved being a captain, even if he was still so young. But bad results were harder to digest because of that extra responsibility.

He was waiting for you to be done with work, sitting inside the car, lost in thoughts of what could have been done better.

"Hey!"

Hearing your voice made him turn his body completely to hug you. You barely had time to sit down but didn't mind. Martin needed you.

"Please don't go to Manchester", he muttered against your neck.

"Why?"

He looked up realising he had said that out loud. He couldn't tell you about his jealousy. You wouldn't understand. And it wouldn't be fair to you, because you had done nothing wrong.

"I just…I need you here with me".

"I can come back a day earlier but I need to go. There's work stuff that I need to do there".

"Of course. I'm just being stupid and needy. Stay there as long as you want to".

He shook his head and got ready to drive but you took his hand to stop him.

"Is there anything else you want to say?"

"No", he smiled. "Let's go home".

                                     **

"This is ridiculous", whispered Martin, putting his phone down and his hands on his face.

"What's wrong, bro?", asked Bukayo when he saw his captain's actions.

"I'm stupid. That's what's wrong".

"You're not. Did you see something on your phone that upset you? Is your family ok?"

"Yeah, they are good, don't worry. It's just…", he didn't know how to say it without sounding silly so he took the phone and showed Bukayo.

"I don't get…oh. Don't be jealous, mate. She'd never do that".

"I know", he sighed. "That's why I feel stupid. But look at the comments".

Bukayo did and understood his teammate a bit better. So many people talking about what a great couple you and Rúben Dias made. On a previous post with photos of you two, even one of Rúben's friends commented about it…and Rúben liked the post. Martin couldn't stand it anymore. But he couldn't ask you to stop being friends with him. It wasn't fair.

By the time you got back from Manchester, Martin had convinced himself that not looking at any of your posts was the best idea. He was the type of boyfriend who always liked your posts and left some sort of comment. Even if it was just a heart emoji. So people noticed the change but he didn't care.

"Honey, I'm home!"

You didn't even have time to fully close the door before Martin got there and lifted you to hug you.

"Missed me?"

"Barely", he joked before kissing you. "I thought we could go out for dinner. But if you're tired, I can cook or order something".

"Let's order. I'm shattered. I just want to shower, put on my pajamas and cuddle with my favourite boy".

"That's a good plan", he said, smiling and pecking your lips again.

Martin's smile didn't leave his face while he walked with you to your room. But then you took your hoodie off and he saw it wasn't one he had seen before.

"Did you go shopping while in Manchester?"

"No. Why? Did you expect a souvenir?"

He laughed at your joke, still looking at the hoodie. "Where did this come from then?"

"Rúben", you said, casually. "I was clumsy enough to get sauce on my jacket so he gave me his hoodie to wear".

"That's nice of him".

You smiled at your boyfriend before getting inside the shower, not seeing his face. Not guessing all the thoughts that were going through his mind at that moment.

                                     **

The weeks passed and it was time for Martin's most dreaded match. City at the Etihad.

"Hello traitor", he heard someone say when he was on his way to the dressing room. And he knew that voice.

When he turned to look at Rúben, he saw you hugging him and laughing. He would have stared for hours but a slap on his back woke him up from his daydreaming of how he could murder a Portuguese defender.

"Hey, good to see you", said Erling.

"Yeah, same".

But Martin kept looking in your direction and Erling noticed.

"Who's that?"

"My girlfriend".

"Right…I heard about her. She used to work here".

Martin nodded, hearing your laugh he loved so much but that he couldn't enjoy now because of who was the reason you were laughing.

"I better go. Good luck".

"Good luck to you too".

Martin started to walk faster and you noticed him leaving without getting his good luck hug.

"I need to go. See you later", you told Rúben before sprinting after your boyfriend.

The door to the dressing room closed behind him and you knew you couldn't get inside. The players knew you and probably wouldn't mind but you wanted to respect their privacy. So when you saw another player walking towards the door, you knew it was your best chance.

"Aaron, can you tell Martin to come out for a second?"

"It's time for the coach's talk but then we'll go out again to warm up".

"Yes, but I need to go to work myself and I have to tell him something important…".

"Ok".

Checking your phone you noticed you couldn't wait there longer than 5 minutes. But luckily, the door opened again and it was Martin who got out.

"Hey, I didn't get to wish you good luck".

"No, you were too busy".

"What does that even mean?"

"I have to go back inside. The captain can't miss the team talk".

"Are you mad at me?"

No, he was mad at himself.

"Martin…".

"We'll talk later".

None of you could concentrate well on your jobs after that. And every city goal only made the situation worse.

After the match, a lot of City players surrounded their former teammate Zinchenko. But you were surrounded only by two City players, Rúben and Bernardo.

"Who's going to win the league, then?", laughed Bernardo. You had been joking about it all season.

"I don't care", you said and they were surprised by the way you reacted.

"Don't be a sore loser", said Rúben, putting his arm around your shoulders. And when you looked up, you saw Martin looking at you two. And finally, finally, you understood why he behaved the way he did sometimes. Why he had behaved the way he did before the match.

Focusing on work was the best option for you and that's what you did. By the time you got to the plane, you hadn't talked to Martin and you planned on doing that when you got home. The last thing you needed was to make a scene in front of your bosses.

"Are you going to talk to me or just acting like a child is enough for you today?"

"You don't get it".

"I do, Martin. I do now. You're jealous of Rúben, which is the stupidest thing…".

"Is it stupid? Ask him if it’s stupid! I trust you but I don't trust him at all".

"So I can't be friends with men then?", he was being so ridiculous…you couldn't believe it. He wasn't like that normally.

"You're friends with my Arsenal teammates and it's fine. You're friends with Silva too and it's fine. But Dias…he likes you. Don't deny it".

"If you trusted me as much as you say you do, that wouldn't matter".

Martin noticed you didn't deny his claim. And he really hoped you would.

"I do, but it's hard. Put yourself in my shoes for a second".

Seeing his defeated look took some of your anger away. So you took his hand and walked with him to the sofa so you could sit and talk.

"Why is it hard? Explain it to me".

And so he started to name all the things that had made him jealous in the past, worried you'd laugh at him.

"And then they have to play against Madrid and you want them to win too, writing about it on social media".

"So? Why can't I support City in the Champions League? I won't next year when you play it".

"I played for Madrid. People talked about how my girlfriend was talking about wanting them to lose".

"They treated you like shit. People can't expect me to like them…".

"I guess", he sighed.

"What else?"

"Do you read the comments on your posts?"

That surprised you. Did he? You never did because being a woman in a male centric industry meant you got a lot of abuse on social media. So the best thing you could do was ignore all comments.

"No, why?"

"So you don't see how people ship you and Rúben every time you post about the other or when you interact in the comments"

"That's so stupid. I post a lot with Bernardo too. Why don't they ship me with him then?"

"He's in a relationship".

"So am I".

"Yeah…they don't care about that, apparently".

"Do you get comments about it?"

He nodded, picking up his phone and going to the last photo of you he posted. You read the comments and couldn't believe it. All the cheating accusations under your comment were bad enough. But all those comments about you and Rúben being a better couple…

"You should have told me earlier".

"And look like the idiot I am? I told you, I trust you. But it can be too much. He's taking my league title but he can't take you too".

"He won't".

You understood. And most importantly, you believed him when he said he trusted you.

After your talk, you two cuddled on the sofa. He needed you to be there for him and you needed to reassure him.

Between the match, the travelling and your argument, he was exhausted and fell asleep quickly. You moved him gently so his head could be on your lap and took your phone out and took a photo of him. He looked adorable.

Because of the argument, you hadn't had time to go through Instagram after the match. And you didn't know why, but you felt the need to go to your tagged photos.

One of the first you saw was of you and Rúben hugging. A City fan page had posted it and Rúben liked it. You were about to move to the next when the caption caught your attention.

"Please City, bring her back to the team so these two can be together. Dream couple! 😍"

Rúben like that? You definitely needed to talk to him but you couldn't tell Martin. He didn't need to see more comments like that. He was right when he said it was too much. You could only imagine how painful it would be to see those types of posts about him and another woman.

Looking down at him, you felt the need to do something. And so you opened the Instagram app again and posted the photo you took of Martin sleeping with his head on your lap on your stories.

"The (only) one I love 💕"

[odegoob]

do you honestly think wirtz is coming to Arsenal?? Why?

I know they're interested in him (along with. well. every top team. madrid BACK OFF) and there are a few things which I think would make arsenal in particular appealing to him. notably - xabi and mikel have a pre established relationship, to the point that these teams played each other in pre season (which has happened before but not frequently or recently). I think if wirtz were looking for a manager with a similar style to xabi, under whom he has had so much success, arteta would be a good choice, as well as a stable one. the bundesliga doesn't go through managers the way the prem does, and I don't think he would enjoy going somewhere with the kind of uncertainty that comes with a manager being sacked at least once a season (chelsea BACK OFF). flo has also spent the past seasons working with granit xhaka, who I hope has been playing a long game for mikel and talking up arsenal. also, in terms of the narrative - hes a young player for leverkusen the whole world is taking notice of. if he wanted to go to the prem I hope he'd listen to the advice of another player who was That Guy who pretty famously hates chelsea and loves arsenal, aka his german national teammate kai havertz.

reasons why I think he would leave leverkusen (despite them being so successful lately): I don't think tah or xabi will necessarily be there much longer, and without them there I don't think wirtz would necessarily want to stay. he's also one of the most exciting young talents in the world, he will want to prove himself on every possible stage.

I also think leverkusen and arsenal have similar playing styles, and ALSO the idea of martin and flo in the same team makes me froth at the mouth and black out. can you imagine?

all this to say: I have seen it in a vision and therefore it is true and will be happening

[hornithology]

Grayson (2014) live read

join me as I re-read Grayson for research for an essay on it's treatment of eroticism.

love the use of bold pink for issue #1's cover. very much referencing 60's 70's James Bond posters and pop art. I saw a picture of a second printing where the pink was red instead, which could have been an aim at making it more marketable (less queer-seeming, which... lol) or could have been about the print quality on the color? the red with black title is way less striking.

the left variant cover is horrendous. why did you make his face look like that. why are you trying to sell some gritty version of Dick who doesn't know how to properly handle a gun, for a comic in which Midnighter is going to flirt fight with him? deception in advertising!

the right is really great. I wish I could find a better quality image. matches the energy of Nightwing #30 which lead to all of this.

on to the story!

there's something about dead, tortured, martyred Dick...

Looks like we've got a hot one. YES YOU DO, M!!!

"I can read the electrical activity inside your pretty head." "you fight like jazz." stellar dialogue. you can't tell me this is not a little bit of flirting. and Midnighter is a known, canonically gay character, so we are meant to read into his lines. I think it's also pretty established at this point in Dick's character consensus that he's very attractive.

I think this room is referencing Modesty Blaise (1966), a spy parody featuring Dirk Bogarde. I haven't seen it yet. when I first read Grayson I was like... the colorful visuals and patterns in a spy context make me think of Austin Powers—a 90's parody of the 60's/70's parodies of spy films. inspiration multiply removed! I'm fairly confident that the artists looked at some spy movies/posters for their design choices.

although this room could also be inspired by the red room in Twin Peaks. either/and.

the bold colors and patterns in Grayson are fairly important decisions, because they're the artistic decision that is most successful. iirc, we'll see how I feel on this re-read.

I WILL SCREAM AND I WILL CRY. Tim Seely and Tom King... I have questions and demands!!!!

more colors! but it's not actually hypnos because it's not vibrant enough and doesn't contain the concentric circles... or is it???

this is also weird because I'm not sure if like. we're not supposed to think that Helena and Dick were together romantically in the past (Nightwing / Huntress (1998)). that's pre new-52 so... shrug. but do they even know each other here? are they pretending that they have met recently? is Helena's vigilante identity a secret from Spiral? these questions are not relevant to my essay so I shall not be doing that investigation myself :)

ok actually that's Huntress middle row third from left, yes??? edit: no, it's Batwoman. anyway.

that's Grayson #1!

it's a pretty good issue opener, with some unfortunate fatphobia that is completely expected. we get some titilation with Helena, the start of a nebulous power dance that is perfect for the spy genre.

I wish that I liked the art better, since we have these artists for the majority of the run. the combination of Mikel Janín's drawings (not enough gesture) and Jeromy Cox's soft coloring of the figures makes it look like everyone is drawn from a 3D model. there's nothing wrong with using models and references in comics and is pretty much necessary for all DC comic turn around time, but it's really not my preference because you lose the "hand" of the drawing. the drawings in this issue look stiff. I'm not actually positive that Janín is using models.

I like the color choices for the hypnos and action sequences, the panel composition is good, and I like some of the inking. I think they are making smart decisions with the visuals, it's really just the type of drawing that is not my favorite. to each their own!

[charlie-lec-stories]

Dirty Little Secret - Part 5.2: The whole truth // CL16

Pairing: Charles Leclerc / Original Female Character

Series Summary: Charles' wife went to The Other Side and came back, but her past did too.

Chapter Summary: Y/N finally finds what happened with Maud. Max has to risk everything for a friend and Charles does the one thing he never wanted to have to do again.

Series Warnings: Death, descriptions of CPR and a car crash, sexual comments and implied sexual acts, mentions of blood, mentions of suicide and depression.

Author’s Note: This is a special I decided to write inspired by Halloween and the Qatar GP, it's five parts long. It's the first time I write something for this page instead of editing thing I have written before, I hope you guys like it. Rate: +16 (descriptions of medical procedures).

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"En in dit laatste geval, zijn er de afgelopen twee jaar zes mensen vermist in het bosnd". Y/N heard Mikel Horton say on the news.

"Six people, that's crazy, Max". She told him and he just grunted.

"I don't understand why people think the woods are the problem". Maud added while applying her makeup. "I know it's a maze there, but if something happens that's literally the best place to hide, no one can find you there. If people are stupid enough to get lost, that's not on the woods".

"Well, I kind of agree with that". Y/N said, Max finally looked up from his phone. "I hid there the other day, to skip Math and that horrible test".

"You hid in the woods to skip that test?". Max asked incredulously. Maud just laughed out loud.

"Mate, my mom would literally kill me if I don't pass that test".

"She's gonna kill you for skipping anyways". And to that, Y/N had nothing to say. They heard a car park in front of the house.

"It must be him!". Maud said, excited. It was 7:55 PM. With Max and Y/N's help, Maud climbed out the window.

"Have fun". Y/N said and she smiled.

"I owe you guys!". She jumped down the remaining height and ran off to the car.

She felt chills with the anticipation of finally getting to go out with Connor. The warm Spring breeze moved her dress around and gave her hair a little messy touch that actually complimented her. She jumped a little when the car window rolled down and inside, she didn't find Connor. The guy in the car was a little older, maybe in his early twenties and he gave Maud the feeling that she should go back inside. His black hair covered his eyes a little, he kind of reminded her of the emo bands Max loved so much, but when he looked at her he didn't look that threatening. He told her that he was Connor’s cousin, Martin, and that Connor got out of practice late and asked him to pick her up and take her to Connor’s house. He smiled at her and she saw the happiness get to his eyes, blue like Connor's. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and when she pulled it out she saw her date had sent her a direct message on Facebook. "Did Martin pick you up yet? He's my cousin". She answered with a simple "yes" and got in the car with Martin. They talked for a few minutes, she told him about racing and he said that he knew nothing about that, but that he gladly hear all about it some other time they meet. She smiled at that, maybe Connor really liked her, he sent his cousin to pick her up and take her to his house after all, that must meant that he wanted her to meet his family at some point. Martin started telling her about his life in Amsterdam, but then Maud noticed that they were going in the wrong direction.

"This is not the way to Connor's house, you should have turned right, not left". He looked at her and, for a fraction of a second, Maud could see him frowning.

"I just need to do a 'quickie pit-stop'". Maud felt her heart skip a beat. 'Quickie pit-stop' was something that she told Connor, one of those times they talked about races. How did Martin know that term if he knew nothing about racing? She tried to unlock the door, but for some reason, the lock wouldn't lift.

"What are you doing?" Martin asked her in harsh tone.

"I want to get out". She started pulling at the lock, desperately, but it wouldn't budge.

"What? Why?". He grabbed one of her arms while still driving.

"Stop the car, I want to get out!". With as much force as she could, she loosened his grip on her arm and tried to pull out her phone. He tried to snatch it from her and the argument turned into a fight. She did what she could to keep her phone and he tried to drive while moving his arm around, looking for it. He stoped the car in front of the woods and she took the chance to try and break the window. Martin, not having to drive anymore, finally took her phone away and threw it to the backseat. Then, he tried to keep her still, but she was fighting him with everything she had.

"Just stop it!". He yelled at her and followed that with a smack to her left cheek. Understanding that things could only get worse, Maud did what she could to jump on top of him and scratched his face as much as she could. She just tried to move fast, not giving him time to respond to her attack. Martin, on the other hand, was surprised by her fighting back. On top of him, and still attacking him with one hand, she opened his door and threw herself out of the car, falling harshly to the dirt road. Instinctively, she ran to the woods, looking for a place to hide. She could hear Martin calling for her and running not too far behind, but that only made her run faster.

The woods were dark and the little moonlight that filtered through the trees made the flowers shine. She tried to remember the type of flowers she saw, to make sure that she'll remember her path back home. The warm breeze she loved earlier became a humid atmosphere that made her sweat even more and between that and the fear she felt, her whole body was shaking. She found something that looked like a small cave and hid there, waiting for Martin to go away. She waited for what felt like an eternity, thinking about why she had to say yes to this date and how she could be so stupid to fall for all of that. All she wanted was to get back home, to turn back time and never jump out of that window. But she couldn't, and now she felt the humid air of the woods hit her skin like a thousand knives.

The minutes passed by and she thought that she was safe to get out and run back to the town. She barely made it out of the cave when a pair of hands grabbed her and threw her to the ground. She looked up, finding Martin on top of her, a pocket knife on his right hand. He never said a word and she wanted to know why. Why do this to her? Why? But she never got to ask, a sharp pain paralyzing her instantly. Maud wanted to look down, to actually see what he did to her. Looking down made it real and she wanted to forget. So she went back home, back to Max and Y/N, to her parents, to school. She went back to that morning and her mom making breakfast, the smell of the butter hitting the pan and instantly melting filled her nose. She went back to school and how excited Y/N and her were that Max was coming back from his karting race in Spain. Then to that afternoon and all the planning they made for the fake sleepover, how her best friends promised to help her choose an outfit, without even thinking that it would be the last thing she ever wore. She remembered the last hug she gave her parents before getting out of the house. She was so deep into the memory that she never felt the second stab, or the third, she didn't feel anything, just her mother's arms tightly around her frame as she breathed in her perfume. Lastly, she went to one special memory, the day she met Max. She knew that he was the one the moment she saw him, but she was so scared to ruin their friendship. She looked at the flowers, shining in the dim moonlight, all orange, yellow and purple. Closing her eyes, she let Max's blue orbs be the last picture she brought up.

Martin felt like he couldn't stop, maybe he didn't want to, he didn't know, but he had already done it. He got up and looked at the kid one more time. The mess he made was terrible for the business, but the merchandising was useless dead, so he didn't care much about that. But it was a shame, she was prettier than most. Still, there were a lot of 14 years-olds naive enough to pick up. By the corner of his eye, he saw some movement, like a shadow, and before the predators could smell the blood he decided to leave. Those woods were a lot more terrifying that he expected and now he felt more like the pry. He saw the shadow again but this time, he didn't feel threatened by it, in fact, he felt like the shadow was glad of what he did. He looked back, discreetly, and saw the shadow cover the body of his victim. A sense of safety fueled his body and gave him the strength to run back to his car, he wasn't that deep into the woods anyways. He heard some rustling behind him and stopped in his tracks to watch the body be dragged into the small cave. Assured that the evidence of his crime was erased, he finished his run to the car. He never expected to encounter the supernatural, and for sure he never expected it to help him cover up a homicide, but he was glad that he did. Back at the car, he picked up the girl's phone from the backseat and texted her friends, letting them know that she was having the time of her life with Connor and hinting that she wanted it to never end. Around 10 PM he told them to go to sleep and they told him, or their friend actually, that they were going to bed and that she should call them when she was going back to the house so they could help her through the window. He sent a smiley face and after 5 minutes turned the phone off. He drove back to Amsterdam, broke the phone and threw it away. He expertly covered his tracks and started working on the next clueless girl he could find on Facebook.

The tears in her eyes made the adjustment to the darkness of the cave a lot harder and her shallow breaths weren't enough to let the oxygen into her lungs. There was this suffocating hurt inside her chest as she felt what Maud felt that spring night, over a decade ago. She hugged the jean jacket close to her chest wishing for it to be full of life, full of Maud. The silence around the cave was deafening, like she was unable to feel anything. But then, she felt the faint touch of hand on her shoulder. Not letting go of the jacket, Y/N turned around ready to face her destiny in the hands of the shadow, but instead, she found her little friend, still 14. She looked exactly as she remembered her, her bright blue eyes and shiny blond hair, the beautiful half smile that always adorned her face was still plastered on her features, like it never left. Y/N extended her hand, slowly, afraid that the smallest of touches could make her disappear. She noticed her hand was a lot smaller, her wedding ring baggy on her finger and it caught Maud's attention.

"Your wedding was so beautiful". Maud said in a whisper and Y/N felt herself shred more tears at the sound of her voice. She missed her voice so much. "I remember how we used to talk about getting married and our weddings when we were younger. I'm so happy that you got to live that. You deserved it".

"You deserved it too". Maud smiled at that. Y/N recognized her own voice a lot higher in pitch. She understood then, they were back to were they left off.

"Max looked great. I couldn't help but think about how good he would of looked at our own wedding". They shared a bittersweet giggle.

"He still loves you, so much". Y/N could see the pain in her friend's eyes.

"I know and I will always love him, but he needs to move on. He needs to be happy. You should have never came back here. You should've stopped looking for me long ago". That confused Y/N.

"What do you mean? You came to me after the crash, you asked us to come back". Maud shook her head quickly, frowning.

"I can see you, but I could never contact you out of the veil. It was her, the shadow, she was the one that lured you here". Maud looked around, making sure they were still alone. "She's... death. The Death, or, I guess, one of them. She feeds on us, the living, every time one of us dies. She lives in the woods and, at night, she gets people and eats them. Like she ate me".

"She's been trying to eat us, all this time". Maud nodded.

"I've heard her for years, complaining that you and Max never got out of the tent. She loves it when people give into her, she doesn't like to take you, she likes to break you. She likes to get healthy people and make them... I can't even say it. She says that it tastes better". Y/N shut her eyes tight, disgusted.

"But how did she make me see you like that? She was never able to do that before". Sha had never hallucinated before, not matter how hard the trip to the woods was.

"When you died, in Qatar, you crossed the veil. She saw that and you bonded, she bonds with everyone that crosses. That bond probably went back with you when Charles and the doctors brought you back". Y/N remembered her crash, and for the first time, she was able to remember the short time she was dead. She saw Charles, trying to bring her back, desperately doing CPR, begging her to stay with him. Then, in front of her, there was the shadow. It got closer and closer, until it touched her face. She felt like everything got colder and Charles' voice was further away. Looking down, she saw how she was flowing into the shadow. But when she thought she was gone for good, she barely heard someone yell "clear" and a burst of energy went though her. The next thing she remembered was waking up in the hospital, Charles by her side and Maud's rotten figure at the foot of her bed.

"She just wanted me to come back to the woods so she could take me. She knew I would bring Max too". Maud looked at her, sad.

"The only way for you to get rid of her is destroying her".

"We have to go to the camp, we need to tell Charles and Max to leave. She's gonna try and get them too". Y/N tried to get up, but Maud placed her hand on her shoulder again and stopped her movements.

"We can't". She saw the confusion that tinted her features and the realization hit her. "Oh no". Y/N just looked at her, impatient. "Y/N, love, you're almost dead. That's the only reason you can see me, you're at the veil again". Maud took Y/N to the entrance of the cave and showed her something outside. "That's you, holding onto the little life you have left. She hasn't took you yet, once she does, she'll bring your body here, to her collection. Like she did with me. For now, she can't take you. You haven't given up. Charles and Max have to find you and bring you back. But you have to destroy the shadow first, or she'll haunt you until she can take you".

Max and Charles ran to the cave as soon as they understood that Y/N was taken by the shadow. At the entrance of the cave, Charles faced a sight he saw before but he never wanted to see again: his wife dead. Max, who had took a bag from the camp before sprinting off, kneeled next to her and took her pulse. Sighing, he opened the bag and took out some needles. Charles looked at him puzzled.

"You have no idea how much illegal stuff you can buy on the internet if you have enough money". Max told him, sensing Charles' confusion. "Now I'm sure. The shadow, I know what it is".

"What is it?". Charles wasn't actually sure if he wanted to know the answer to his own question.

"It's a Reaper. A Death. I suspected it with the amount of people that went missing here in the last 15 years". The Dutchman moved Y/N's body to make her lay face up and with her arms and legs extended. He then turned around, towards Charles. "Listen. This needles have two cocktails. One to stop the heart, one to restart it. You are the best one doing CPR, Charles. You brought her back once. I need you to bring us back again".

"Us? Max, what the fuck do you thing you're doing?"

"Do you really think that the Reaper will let her go again so easily? Someone has to give her a hand, I'm not good at CPR, not as good as you. You can bring us back". Charles knew that arguing was pointless. "Start doing CPR to Y/N, I'll inject myself. Give me 90 seconds. She she'll be back by then, and you inject me the other other cocktail. There's a hand defibrillator on the bag. If I don't come back in two minutes, use it on me. I promise you, Charles, I'll bring her back to you". And with that, Max laid next to his best friend and stuck the needle in his arm, while Charles started CPR on his wife... again.

"She's back". Maud informed Y/N while they hid in a corner of the cave. They had spent a minute trying to think how to defeat the shadow.

"We have to attack it now. I've been dead for three and half minutes, I have to go back before seven or I'll have brain damage". Y/N told her. They had no plan and no weapons to attack this being that they didn't even know how to kill. But if Y/N had to go, she'd go swinging. They were about to jump on her when Max suddenly appeared next to them. He looked young again and for a second, everything felt fine, they were all together again.

"Maud". Max said, perplexed. She smiled at him, without thinking, they both jumped to each other, melting on the hug they waited so long for. "I love you. I have loved you my whole life".

"I know. I love you too and I always will". He squeezed her tight, but she knew they couldn't waste time. "Listen, the shadow is-"

"A Reaper". Max finished, proudly. "I figured it out".

"We have to destroy her or she'll never leave Y/N alone. But we don't know how". Max tried to explain everything quickly.

"I know. Before the trip I did a little research. You need to grab her so I can force my hand inside its chest and touch her heart, or something like that, it was an old book, it'd free the energy she ate and kill her.". Maud's eyes grew bigger at his explanation.

"Its core, you have to touch its core". She sad excitedly. "I know where it is, it's where my life went when I died".

"We don't have much time, Y/N's been dead for four and a half minutes".

The three of them ran to it, Y/N and Maud grabbed it by what seemed like its arms but when Max tried to make his hand go through the shadow, it hit her chest like it was a hard surface. The Reaper angrily pushed them away and jumped on top of Y/N, starting to eat her life. Maud and Max were desperate, he looked at the entrance of the cave and saw Charles doing CPR on Y/N's body, giving it his all. He couldn't fail Charles, he promised him to bring his wife back to him, he couldn't let him down. Maud understood immediately what she had to do.

"You're not fully dead, not yet. But I can go through her. I can destroy her". Maud turned Max's head around and quickly pecked his lips. "I love you. Please go back and live the life we both deserved, live it fully".

With that, Maud ran to the shadow and forced her hand through its back, getting to her core. The shadow pushed her off and Max ran to Y/N to keep her safe. He looked back at Maud, their eyes meeting for a brief moment, then she didn't simply forced her hand, she forced her whole being into the shadows core, both of the exploding in a bright white light. Max felt different, he felt like he wasn't caged anymore, he felt light. Picking Y/N up, he dragged them both to the outside. Charles was there, stopping CPR to inject Max. The blond felt the shot of adrenaline through his body and in what felt like a blink, his eyes opened and he was looking at the sky, back in his body and back his age. He saw Charles going back to CPR, Max sat up as fast as he could and went to grab the defibrillator, he knew that Y/N was weak after what the shadow did to her, she needed a hand coming back. Charles cut her shirt open. Max placed the pads of the machine on her chest and followed the instructions it said out loud. The machine said "clear" and they both moved away from Y/N. Her body went stiff and then relaxed, then the machine informed that there was pulse again.

They went back to the town and straight to the hospital to have both Y/N and Max checked out. When they were given the green light, they told the Chief of Police about the cave, that was a lot bigger when they went back. The power of illusion the of the shadow made people believe that it was a small cave when it was actually a bigger one. Thirty-six bodies were found, Maud included. Her family did a little service for her and Max and Y/N got to say good-bye again. Y/N went back to visit her parents and then the three of them went back to Monaco. On the plain, Charles and Y/N talked.

"I'm sorry I lied, the truth is I was so ashamed of what happened, felt so guilty that I thought you'll never love me if you knew". She sighed and looked at him, trying not to cry. "I understand if you want a divorce. I know that everything I did, the lying, the hiding, it was all wrong". Charles took her hand and brought it to his lips, giving it a soft kiss.

"Do you remember that night at the bar, where you told me a secret so I could tell you one of mine?". She smiled at the memory, of course she remembered. It was the first time he finally let go and kissed her like he meant it. He kissed her with the love she wanted him to give her.

"Yeah, I could never forget". Charles sent her one of his signature smiles.

"'Today I was rooting for you, and even though you DNFd, I still feel like a winner when you look at me'. That was the truest and more honest thing you've ever said to me, I know that. So believe me when I tell you this: I've been feeling like a winner since the first time I laid my eyes on you, 20 years ago, on that karting race". She finally let her tears fall and he kissed them all before they could reach her jaw.

They had a lot to work on, a lot to overcome, but just like they overcame this madness, they would fix this too. Because they shared a little secret:

They were winners together.

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Okay! This was not my plan at all, I wanted to publish this TWO WEEKS AGO but shit happened and I couldn't. I'm really sorry for the cliff hanger.

So... the end! I cried my eyes out writing this one. I hope you guys liked this, I really enjoyed writing it. I hope you felt scared and happy and sad and had fun, that's the whole point of this.

I'll be active again, now that I think I will have more free time.

See you all on the next story!

[crimsonicarus]

I don’t know how not to love you [And i'm fine being ignorant] (piarles, background galex) (some things just must happen pt.1)

“I love yo-”

“Do you?” She was crying but managed to smile through the tears, Kika was not even mad, sad would be a better word, maybe even disappointed “More than him?”

Pierre was 24 when his girlfriend broke up with him, that was the year he accepted he was in love with his best friend, the same year he decided to do something about it.

Alternative: As Pierre looks back at his shared childhood with Charles he realizes it wasn't always mere friendship

A certain something in the middle (Charles/Pierre/George)

It started with Charles, it was followed by Pierre, it ended with George waking up pressed between two warm bodies, the ache on his muscles being a reminder of what happened last night

once upon a dream (Mick/Fred/Jack) [loving a god is only a tragedy if the god does (not) love you back pt.1]

“You are someone else in your dream”

“Michalis”

“And we were somewhere else… It was long time ago”

“So it happened… I died?!”

“Long long time ago"

The holding of hands and the breaking of glass (sebchal, background britcedes)

It’s been two years since he held Charles in his arms, his once lover was 25 now, standing in front of the crowd as he married prince George, a man his age with the right family name to back him up.

In front of him was beautiful, haunted, martyr Charles. No longer a naive boy, no longer his.

Lando's George (George/Oscar)

There it was, Lando knows George, Logan knows George, apparently even Liam knows George... Why hasn't he met George yet?

in which everyone talks about a particular guy, enough for Oscar to think they are making him up, afterall who says "Blimey", "Crikey" and wears nothing but Tommy Hilfiger?

Whatever here that's left of me is yours [just as it was] (britcedes)

His eyes opened again, he was in front of a piano, and Roscoe was playing somewhere, he blinked and he was under water.

His name was Lewis Hamilton and he was writing his second album.

Stop the World I Wanna Get Off With You (piarles)

It was easy with Charles, talking, spending time, being silent. It felt natural, like breathing. Laughing at his awful jokes came from his mouth  effortlessly, like another mother tongue

A Fever You Learn To Live With (Jenson/Nico)

His name didn't matter. He was Helios once until he was forgotten and renamed, they changed his identity. But it was okay. He was adored, he was Apollo. His lover chose to call him Nico in this life, and he was no longer worshipped, it was better. He was loved.

But Jenson smiled at him, and he was so beautiful, like the day they met, like the day Nico fell in love with him, beautiful as the day he died, beautiful as the day Nico found him again.

It's called: free fall (George/Toto - George/Lewis)

George was eight years old when he called the devil, he was 12 when the devil did come.

Footy fics

Honey, please try to love me (martindale)

Martin has a crush that he shouldn't have, Mikel has a problem he shouldn't have. Aaron is waiting for a miracle. The others are waiting for thee day when they stop acting like idiots

Now he is mine (Julian Draxler/Mats Hummels)

It was wrong, he knew it was wrong. Dammit not even Marco would be on his side on this one, it was the kid. No, not a kid. But Benedikt’s favorite, the one he took under his wing. But what was he supposed to do?

A muse by any other name (Neuller)

Lukas had the idea of taking a class together, the four of them, Robert wanted to take a portrait class, and Bastian thought it would be hilarious to take Joachim’s class only because he heard a sophomore talk about the model of the class.

“It’s just your type Mülli” he said

Lost and found (Leon Goretzka/Julian Draxler/Joshua Kimmich)

They weren’t expecting any visit, and the list of people that would visit and even more being able to get to the door was quite short. Both laying on their sides and deep into each other arms,Leon groaned and Joshua laughed softly at him. “I’ll catch it, be right back. Must be Serge being already bored” and then he left, Leon heard his steps getting far from the room and then disappearing into the void as he reached the living room, and then silence, silence for a few minutes. And then a scream. “Leon, come here!” Okay, that was weird. He stood up fast, took a tshirt an put it on as he made his way to the door, in front of him was Joshua looking pissed, and at the door Julian fucking Draxler with a awkward look and a certain aura of distress around him

Scent like home (Julian Draxler/Erik Durm)

“How are they?” He asked

“Actually a he” Mats talked with a smirk on his face “One of Benni’s favorite cousins to be more accurate”

“Great, now Benedikt will be after my throat

Don't go where I cant reach you (Kroosmes)

Toni wasn’t stupid, yeah. His Spanish was still not the best, and yes, neither were his social skills. But regardless of his silence, he was good at observing, maybe even this was because of his silence.

All the stars in the sky (Julian Draxler/Erik Durm)

After a long day of showing Paris to his lovers, Julian was asleep upside down in the middle of his boyfriends, Matthias was hugging his side while Erik was kissing his shoulder.

“We could draw constellations with his freckles, you know? ” erik asked, his index finger connecting the dots on Julians shoulders and neck, Matthias giggled.

[robin374]

TF2 mercs as Basque songs (if they dedicated them to you)

I love them all

I expect this to flop.

Scout

"No es extraño

Que tú estés loca por mí

Por eso no es extraño

Que tú estés loca por mí"

"It's no wonder

you're crazy for me,

That's why it's no wonder

You're crazy for me"

Pyro

"Ametsetan, ametsetan zure mundutik gurera."

"Dreaming, dreaming from your world to ours"

Engie

"Emaidazu berriro

ongietorria,

zu zara nire poz

guztien iturria.

Emaidazu berriro

Ongietorria

Gelditzeko nator eta!"

"Welcome me again.

You are the source

of all my joy.

Welcome me again,

I've come to stay!"

Heavy

"Ta elkartuko gara berriro, gure betiko lekuetan.

Zabalduko ditugu besoak, besarkatuz gure arimak."

"And we will meet again, in our usual places.

We will open our arms, embracing our souls."

Medic

"Hegoak ebaki banizkio,

Nerea izango zen,

Ez zuen aldegingo.

Baina, honela

Ez zen gehiago txoria izango.

Eta nik...

Txoria nuen maite.

"If I had cut off its wings,

It would have been mine.

It wouldn't leave.

But so,

It wouldn't be a bird anymore

And I...

Loved the bird. "

Spy

"Ez gara izan onenak, beharbada, baina gure bizitza izan da."

...

"Ta ez galdetu inoiz zer galdu genuen, negar egin genuenean. Malko haiei esker orain itsasoa gara."

"Maybe we weren't the best, but it was our life."

...

"And don't you ever ask what we lost, when we cried. Thanks to those tears, we are now the sea."

Demo

"Izan gaitezen bihurri, izan gaitezen pirata

Partxe bat begian jarriz egunsentiari kanta"

"Let's be mischievous, let's be pirates

Patch put in the eye singing to the dawn"

Soldier

"Ta zure eskutik debekaturikoa egin,

tiroka dabiltzan haurrak jolasetan ikusi.

Preso direnen izenean, harresiak sutan ikusi."

"And do the forbidden by your hand,

Watch kids shoot at games.

In the name of the prisoners,

See the walls burning.

Sniper

"Errepidean geldikaitzak gara,

Leiho bat behera ta oihu bat kanpora

Errepidean gaur berriz,

Abesti berri bat idaztekotan"

"We're unstoppable on the road

Window down and a scream out.

Back on the road today,

About to write a new song."

[oh-saints]

bestie do we still get kt x singer reader?!🥲i need it after the anti-kt disappointment

for you, fellow KT bestie (does it rhyme???) who's been deprived of our lovely viking for far too long, i'd give it to youuu

change

being a female singer-songwriter in a very saturated industry, you work hard to get where you are now. but kieran works harder until he can call you his.

kieran tierney x singer!reader

word count: 2.0k

note: i gotta be honest... i tried so hard not to entertain this ask because my request's closed and i have so many left i haven't worked on yet, but an idea popped in my mind that i had to write it down. and in the light of us fellow KT girlies not being granted his appearance by mikel, which coincided with my bday week this time around, here it is! but as usual, i happen to write this at dawn so not beta-read yet.

the song included in this work is this.

“A record I must say,” Lauren, your agent, walked into your studio alongside your publicist with a cup of tea—dajeerling and brewing hot, no less, just the way you like it. “A birdie told me you haven’t pulled out all-nighter lately and chose to clock in early instead.”

“Morning to you, too, Lauren,” You pushed back your chair, straying away your eyes from the lined-up monitors on your work station. “Now, what’s wrong in being early?”

“As far as I can recall, you love your bed so much that you always try to spend your time there until it’s really time to go,” Lauren put your cup and your smoked-beef sandwich on the table standing in the middle of the room. “Am I right?”

You could only laugh at your agent’s long-standing experience of the countless times she had to drag you out of your bed so you could make it in time for radio promotions. She even went as far as preventing you from touching the bed when you were due for a red carpet, afraid you’d pass out and she had to extort physical means to get you wake up.

In your defence, you couldn’t help it. Inspirations come to you at unexpected times, and mostly they keep you up during the time when everybody’s asleep because you can’t not make something out of it while it lasts. They are what keep you afloat in this make-it-or-break-it industry, the root of your endless hits after hits, and precisely why your agent—although groaning while doing so—would still shake the sleep from your entire being relentlessly.

However, you couldn’t deny your agent’s astute observation that you had, indeed, been gracing your studio in normal time zone. Something that wasn’t exactly unheard of but definitely something that was missing from a gazillion years ago.

In fact, deep down, you actually surrendered yourself to the fact attack launched by Lauren because you were changing, for good. No longer were the days of grabbing instant meal kits, nights of recording and takeouts. And you have every reason to.

While the smoke of brewing hot tea was usually something you look forward to get your body and soul intact for the rest of the day, lately there had been another angelic sight freely occupying the other side of your bed—a sight you look forward to see the first thing in the morning, as soon as you open your eyes to the bright, blinding sun. Yet, you could swear the sight was even mesmerising than the sun itself.

The calm personified in Kieran Tierney when he was sleeping was something else. Eyes shut perfectly in a dome shape and eyelashes tickling his prominent cheekbones—it was a scenery you would definitely choose over the leather four walls of your studio.

Kieran when awake was already bedazzling as it is, but when you take away all the determination and worries, he simply looks like an innocent child sleeping, with those thin lips left agape and soft snores coming out in tune melodically with the chirping bird outside.

For that particular private viewing alone, if it meant you had to do patchworks to your usual unusual routine, you would gladly do it in a heartbeat. You’d enjoy the bonus of 5 extra minute to run the pads of your fingers along the lines of his facial structure, grazing inch and every bit of the strong features you’ve come to love the past months, tracing every crook and nook until nothing else left untouched.

You like to touch the end of his hairline and the beginning of his skin, creasing out the contracted muscle at your initial touch, down to his thick brows, the long eyelashes, protruding cheek bones and jaw lines, the apple chin… and your favourite of them all; the thin but healthily pink lips that always pouts in default but would turn into a megawatt smile whenever around you. It’d become your favourite ever since you noticed that particular perk only you had the privilege to own.

Your hands would draw back to the tip of his pointy nose, a feature he inherited from his patrilineal genetics, and he would scrunch the muzzle softly as if he was about to sniff before gaining consciousness slowly but surely. You’d come to realise it was marked by his 3-times blink before he groaned a sleepy, groggy good morning as he took in his surroundings.

And you’d laugh when he attempted to pull you into another tight cuddle, prolonging your lazing time on the bed by leaving pecks on the crown of your head, as if he didn’t have somewhere to go every morning without fail.

As much as you’d come to terms with the fact that you know now your way of dying—should you be able to choose—is to be engulfed in Kieran’s arms, basked in his signature mixture of natural odour and his favourite perfume, until you run out of breaths, Kieran’s athletic routine was the reason why you had to get up the same time as your boyfriend.

Because who could fall asleep again when you got to gawk on your shirtless boyfriend walking around your bedroom like he owned the place?

Certainly not you, not when the adrenaline was too high on certain times and all you had to focus was not to tackle your boyfriend in the bathroom so that you could have sex. He has a job to keep, and you have fans waiting for your next creation. So you channelled your overflowing energy into coming into the studio early—it wouldn’t be a surprise to anyone, really, if you exposed yourself that your next album would be solely inspired by your “burly yet soft like a teddy bear” lover.

If 5 years ago someone said to you that you’d undergo all these drastic changes, you’d laugh at their face. Your old self wouldn’t have approved of your decision on letting Kieran in to your life so fast in the first place.

Old you, who didn’t think of anything else but your budding career.

Old you, who was so afraid to lose whatever you had because of a stupid move, like your fellow musicians went wrong.

Old you, who thought you had too much at stake to think of something outside the music and your fans.

Old you, who learnt from your last ex-boyfriend that you had to fight your way up on your own.

“How’s the album going?” Lauren started off again, now her notes and iPad sprawled all over the table, and you took the hint to get serious. “Is there any samples we can hear of?”

“I do—”

And that was when you realise your phone—your other phone, to be exact; the one you bought for its music features so you could rest assured to keep your creative outlet as positive as possible—was nowhere to be found. Your morning commute only includes the likes of your house or Kieran’s house and work lately, so you’ve got no choice but to call your boyfriend.

“What’s up, babe?”

Kieran had made it a habit of his to rotate any pet name he could probably think of to call you. On any other circumstances, you would usually curl your fingers when someone called you by a sweet moniker of their choice—heck, your last ex fling even complained about your disdain to them. But rather than disgust this time, it was more at the weird sensation vibrating through your entire body that you found yourself rather liking them.

In fact, you had to give Kieran a big kudos for making the transition in their relationship relatively natural. While a lot of things escalated very quickly in your respective lives, it somehow felt like it just fell into their deserving place instead.

Kieran really meant it when he vowed he would prove her fears wrong, exactly the night when you decided to let him into your life.

“I left my other phone at home, can you bring them to my studio?”

“Sure thing, love,” And Lauren had to hold back her squeals when she noticed your blushing cheeks. “See you in a bit.”

Turned out, it wasn’t merely a bit to the Scotsman. How could he not be stunned when you pulled the rug from under his feet?

He was only supposed to call your other phone in order for him to bring the device to you, but as soon as he heard intently and closely to the caller ring you’ve put for him, he was rendered speechless.

The very reason why your relationship with Kieran took off on a very long slow burn into what they were now was because you were initially very averse at the idea of romantically involved with anyone. Not after what your ex had done to you, and Kieran went into diving fully realising and acknowledging the part. He’d come to embrace your flaws and your imperfections, no matter how much you hate them, because it’s what made you… you. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Including your lack of verbal affection.

The irony, Kieran would laugh at the revelation, but it didn’t matter in his opinion because it didn’t particularly equal to not meaning you love for him. You crumbling down the longstanding Berlin Wall between them was enough of a proof that you felt the same way as him.

He had before long accepted the idea that you were not fond of grandiose gestures from your significant other, nor did you like doing so to your partner. You belonged rather to the kind of people who liked spending time closely with their respective partner, be it candle-lit dinner in the iconic Aviary or be on the phone call with him for hours when he was on an away match–didn’t matter for you, really.

You preferred to express her affection into a set of discreet actions; you could be found constantly holding his hand whenever you had the chance, playing with his hair, juggling between touching the side of his face and feeling the growing stubbles on his jaw.

When he was on an away game, you would send an Uber Eats for him and whoever his roommate at that time, a little supportive note from you would be slipped in the packaging with a help of the deliveryman. Now, being Kieran’s roommate was a spot worth fighting for amongst his teammates. And recently, you let Kieran stay over in your flat every now and then.

The action spoke more than volume, per Kieran’s standard of your love for him. It might not be much, but for Kieran, it meant no more walls, no more hesitation.

So when his ears picked up the lyrics of the caller ring, Kieran was left breathless. It was a crude song, not yet mastered, so he knew it was something she only recently produced, but it was what made the effect booming throughout his body became 10 times shuddering.

I remember like it was yesterday

First kiss and I knew you changed the game

You have me, exactly, well you want it,

And I'm on it

And I ain't ever gonna let you get away

Holdin' hands never made me feel this way

So special, boy it's your, it's your smile

We so in love

You had never been fluent in articulating her feeling into words of either written or spoken form, at least to Kieran’s face, but this song–it pretty much contained every description of what you felt towards him, practically a song to profess your love to him in a very discreet way.

You are my baby love, my baby love

You make the sun come up (Oh boy, oh boy)

You're my every, everything that I could ever dream of

You are my baby love, my baby love

You make the sun come up (Oh boy, oh boy)

You're my every, every, every, everything

Been a minute and we still holding it down

Butterflies every time you come around

You make me, so crazy

It's crazy, oh baby

And I don't ever wanna be with no one else

You're the only one that ever made me melt

You're special, boy it's your, your style

We so in love

Kieran’s heart was galloping so fast it could outmatch any stallion in their prime. He could actually feel the depths of your unspoken love and affection towards him from the song, from your voice alone, despite the still-lacking quality of the product. But god damn…

If this was the aftereffect of being serenaded by you, in all of your glorious words about how you feel towards him, Kieran didn’t think he could survive another, should you make another song for him.

[papipedroo]

Rupture (Joel Miller x Reader)

Part Five of Whiskey Tears

Rated: Angst | Sexual Innuendos | Assault | Mentions of Rape | Violence | Torture

Summary: You, Joel, and Ellie have been a trio from the start. You were a family, but you find your relationship with Joel withering when he starts to pull away. Now a new comer makes her way into Jackson and into Joel’s heart…

Joel was drowning. Not in the metaphorical sense that he has experienced from time to time, feeling as if the weight of the world was pressing down on his lungs… No. Actual drowning.

“Again.” Heather had four men shove him backdown into the river.

There was barely any time to gasp for breath with each shove back under the icy frost. It was as if he grew numb to the freezing temperatures each time his head went under water. He was going to start getting hyperthermia soon.

“Bring him back up.” Heather ordered and once again he was brought up to the surface from the icy depth.

Joel coughed up water, finally able to catch his breathe. His clothes were soaked to his skin and the rim of his eyes were rimmed red.

Heather crouched in front of Joel. A long sigh left her lips as she spoke, “We’ve been at this for a while… Are we going to talk now or do I have to bring Ellie out here? Tell me Joel, have you taught her how to swim yet?”

It was a known fact by anyone that Joel’s looks could kill any threat in his path. There was a promise looming in his gaze, one that only told of impending murder. Two of the men had tightened their grip on his arm and shoulder from the way Joel tensed.

“What.” He stated as if he wasn’t trying to catch his breath moments ago.

She crouched in front of him. Three steps and his shotgun was the only thing between them.

“It took three days and now this town and everyone in it, is mine.” She stated.

“Good for you.” Joel gruffed out, the least bit interested.

“You know what I want, Joel.” Heather was becoming irritated now, “I want your allegiance. I want your loyalty. I want you.”

He didn’t dignify her with a response, his glare the only thing keeping her from feeling empowered.

She sighed, “You know that your brother and his wife refuse to cooperate… For days now, my friends have talked about shooting them… They make a good point that it would put your family out of their misery from living in the way that the world is now. Especially with a new life that will be coming soon.” Her gaze flickered to the gun as Joel began to struggle against the four men in an attempt to ring her neck.

“I decided against that though. I knew it wouldn’t make you happy so I locked your family away instead. I promise you that they are safe…” Her hazel eyes looked past his glare and into his broken soul, “If you cooperate that is.”

Joel didn’t like the way her mouth curled into a condescending smile. She knew that she got him.

The warmth of the fire did little to create a comforting warmth in your body as you cried out into a soiled cloth from the overwhelming pain. Mikel’s hands worked to clean out and stitch the wound he caused to your leg as you faded in and out of consciousness.

“Just a little more, love.” His tender words did nothing, they were nothing, and he would never be anything to you.

You wanted Joel… You wanted your little Ellie… You wanted to go home… You missed your family and you regret that the last words spoken to Joel were of anger. You regret that you couldn’t see Ellie’s face that morning. You regret not having tea with Maria. You regret not helping Tommy surprise Maria with a baby crib.

“Why won’t the bleeding stop?” Mikel’s voice held panic, “I need to cauterize your wound.”

I shook my head faintly at that, but it meant no difference as he left and returned with a blade scorching hot from the fire.

There were so many regrets that you couldn’t amend and now… Now you might die without seeing what could have been.

“This is going to hurt.” Mikel said as he gently place a cloth in your mouth.

You screamed as soon as the blade touched your skin. It hurt more than the pain of the gunshot as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Your body shook before slacking against the bed.

Your vision blurred as your mind went dark.

It took two days before you were able to gain your bearings. The pain in your leg was dull as long as you didn’t move it around too much. Your eyes tracked the motion of Mikel’s shadow pacing just outside of the cabin door. His words were set in a hush whisper as he spoke to someone else. Someone you didn’t recognize. You strained your ears to listen to what they were discussing.

“So… Jackson has been overtaken.” Mikel asked, “Are the townspeople alright?”

“Yes.” It was the voice of another man, “Heather did what she said she would and it…” You strained your ears to hear, but missed part of what he said. You did however hear him say the word, “Success.”

“That’s good.” You could hear Mikel’s sigh of relief, “I hope that with time my love and I can return. I want us to be able to live peacefully…”

“We are glad to have you apart of our group. I will see you and your girl soon brother. Let the red dawn rise.”

“Let the red dawn rise.” Mikel repeated and a pair of footsteps traveled away from the house.

You quickly lied back down and pretended that you weren’t eavesdropping on their conversation. Mikel stepped inside the hut, snow falling off his coat as he removed the cowboy hat from his head.

“I know that you’re awake little pisi.” He said. The sound of his boots traveled across the room as he walked closer.

You weren't sure if the last word was an endearment or not, but it made your stomach twist in knots. You felt nauseated at how quickly he tell into the role of a lover with the high expectation of you doing the same. You wondered if that could be your safest way out of here.

Maybe playing along with his delusion will help let his guard down before making your escape. It was the only option you had being as you were wounded and he had the antibiotics to help you and if you just shot him that would do you any good.

Yes, you would have control over yourself and medicine, but how long would you need antibiotics for your leg to heal and with Jackson being overrun… How were you supposed to get more? No... This was the safest option. You just had to play your cards right… For now at least.

"Who was that?" You spoke with a scratchiness to your voice from being in and out of consciousness these last few days.

Mikel's quick observations had him getting you a glass of water before you even had the chance to ask for some. It seemed he was a little too observant. Something that you had to be wary of.

"A new friend from town." His answer was vague, something that you had already expected. Of course he didn't trust you enough to divulge any information from the que that was staged.

"They've taken everything haven't they?" You asked another question or more of a statement.

He looked away from you and towards the fireplace, "It's better this way."

"For who? For you?" You scoffed before taking a sip of water. You didn't realize how thirsty you were until the cup was empty in less than a second. You continued, “Clearly you have gotten everything that you desired.”

"I did this for us." He snapped back, a glare held in his blue eyes as he got up from his stood as stormed to the fireplace to place some more logs in, “This is better for us. This place will be our home until you have settled in to our new life. Everything that we have and will receive soon is a happiness more than we can ever imagine.”

"How?" You muttered, "Everything was fine before. The townspeople were happy… I was happy. We were all comfortable and at peace in our own way. There was no reason for any of this. You took my choice away from me."

"But there was a reason." You could see the way his fingers gripped around one of the logs. You could tell that you were pushing his temper, “He was not good for you. Everyone could see that. He hurt you, discarded you, betrayed you. He did everything that I will never do to you…” Mikel gently traced his fingers over the bandage on your leg, “Again. I promise.”

You kept your mouth shut, afraid to set him off. He was clearly trapped in his own delusions of what could be and saying anything towards the two of us would clearly make him angry. Instead you focused on talking about the people who took him in. Who he once considered friends.

"How could you betray everyone?" You spoke quietly, "The people who took you in and gave you a home? You took their trust and ripped it to shreds Mikel."

"I didn't!" He threw the log across the room. The wood crashed against the wall before knocking over a crooked picture frame, the two crashing to the ground.

At least that was better than him crushing your leg.

"Tell that to the ones whose corpses litter the streets.” You replied, your voice still soft, but making its point across.

The room filled in a deafening silence.

Light flickered in through the cracks of the jail, creating enough light for Ellie, Tommy, and Maria to see. The raiders didn't care enough to turn any of the lights on for their prisoners, but at least they remembered to bring food and water.

"Bitch." Ellie exasperated as she pulled against the old bars of the jail.

"Language Ellie." Maria sighed as she rested against the back wall.

"I think this predicament calls for a little language sweetheart." Tommy murmured as he check the strength of the cell bars on the other side.

"Those bars were made to hold, you know this." Maria explained.

“I know sweets. I just want to make sure we’re not missing anything.” Tommy explained gently.

Maria nodded, "I know dear, it’s just… You both need to save your strength. We need a solid plan to get out of here."

Tommy thought for a long moment as he concocted a plan to safely get out of here.

"We'll wait till one of em lets their guard down." Tommy spoke quietly once a plan formulated in his mind

He stepped back from the bars, his military training kicking in as he spoke, "I've been watching their movements. They only care about how much damage they can inflict with the biggest weapon. They don't seem trained or vigilant. Their shift changes are every twelve hours. Group B is more docile, they’re tired from the day and are easily deceived. We can make our move towards midnight when they are exhausted.”

He looked at Maria, “This is where you come in dear. I need you to pretend that you are going into labor. Scream as loud as you can. Ellie, I need you by her side at this point and I need you to be loud and panicked. Once they opened the cell, I can get one of their guns. Then it'll be easy to get out of here. We have four hours left until shift change so we just have to be patient and don’t set off group A." He looked towards Ellie.

She raised her hands up in surrender, "What?"

"Ellie." He pressed.

"Okay okay." She sighed, "No setting them off. Got it."

And there it was. It was small and had barely a percentage of working, but it was a plan that could just as save their lives. As long as they played their cards right that is… Tommy sat next to his wife, wrapping her in his warmth to keep her from the cold. At least these raiders kept the blankets in here. He watched as Ellie curled into one to try and get as much rest as she possibly could. Tommy made a silent promise to himself that no matter what happens, he would keep his family safe.

He could only hope that his brother had everything under control on his end... If he was alive for that matter.

"My family." Joel huffed as he was shoved with the tip of a rifle.

"Follow me." Heather walked through the streets.

The snow was gently falling now making it easy to see, "You'll see them when I can trust you again."

“You’re the one who broke that trust.” He pointed out.

Heather of course didn’t like that as she huffed, “I did what I had too.”

No. You really didn’t.

Joel didn't reply as he quietly assessed the four men that were guarding him. He knew that Heather could handle a gun, but he can take her easily. The two to his left looked to be brothers with the way they mirrored each other, they were both to upbeat as if they enjoyed this kind of work. They would be easy to take down. The one on his left was skinny with a shaky hand and a frightened look in his eyes. Joel knew that if he took the two out on his left first then that one would go off runnin. Now the one behind him with the crooked nose and a nasty snarl... He was going to be a problem.

"You will be kept under guard here.” She said.

“My. Family.” Joel repeated. His was a man of few words, but he was persistent.

“They will be able to live here with you once I know that you can be trusted. Wouldn’t want you to get the band back together and ruin my entire plan, would we?” Heather gave him a look, “No more talk of this. Now get inside and change. I have plans for you and I don’t want you dying from hyperthermia.”

With that, Heather left and the four guards remained. One of the upbeat brothers shoved him inside the home. The three young men headed inside with Joel while the tough looking one kept guard just outside the door.

“I reckon don’t need to show ya where the shower is.” Link laughed as he took off his coat.

Joel didn’t give him an answer and began to make his way upstairs.

“Oh! And we found all yer weapons so don’t even think about looking old man.” Link’s brother Preston said as he pulled off his beanie, his short dirty blonde hair tussled.

Joel had an urge to punch that kid in the face. But he resisted as he reached the top of the steps and out of their sight.

“Don’t even think he’d be able to reload the damn gun even if we gave him one.” Preston laughed.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that Link.” The younger, scrawny looking one spoke.

“What?” Link wrapped his hand around the back of his neck that was covered by his shoulder length brown hair, “You scared of an old man Mathias?”

“All I’m saying is that I wouldn’t get too comfortable.” He said quickly moving himself away. Joel could hear the three of the shuffling to the living room.

“Yeah right.” Link rolled his eyes, “I could kill that old man with one hand tied around my back.”

The sunlight was beginning to drown in the dusk and Joel knew that if he wanted to get to his family alive then he would need to be smart in his next moves.

Joel carried himself up the steps, worn out and tired, but a plan formulating in his mind. He walked past each room, all of them open and ransacked. The bedroom to his door was wide open, the same chaotic mess dawning his floor.

A floor that hadn’t been tampered with. Maybe the heavens were on his side. He hoped that this same luck would stay on his side.

Joel only halfway shut his door. He didn’t want to make any noise for what he would do, but he also needed them to hear the creak of his door. He made his way to the bathroom, his boots hitting the floor rougher than usual to have them think that he was an old man, one that made noise wherever he went.

He turned on the water to his shower before silently walking back to his room. With the stealth of someone even a clicker wouldn’t hear, he retrieved a 9mm pistol and a tactical knife from under the floor board. It was the weapons that he got for his firefly and he silently thanked her for keeping them hidden here. He checked to make sure it was loaded before heading back to the bathroom to take a much needed shower.

He needed the cover of night to exact his plan.

“How did an old man like that even pull someone like her?” Preston wondered as he took a sip of the whiskey he swiped from Joel’s cupboard.

“I don’t know man, but I went by Mikel’s cabin the other day.” Link said.

“Mikel has a cabin?” Mathias wondered, “He’s a new member like me right? Does this mean we all have the choice to leave if we want to?”

“Mikel’s barely apart of this group and I ain’t tellin you where that cabin is.” Link shook his head, “You get any ideas of leaving, you know where your body is gonna be.”

“Dude, he has the life out there. I got a peak of her before he closed the door and let me tell ya, even half dead she’s a peach. I swear either he railed her so hard that she couldn’t move or that gunshot wound is really getting the best of her.” Link laughed with his brother chuckling along with him.

“Romanians man, they sure know what they’re doing.” Preston replied as he and his brother clinked their glasses.

Joel wondered if his favorite color was red with how much he has been seeing it lately. He silently creeped along the hallway and down the staircase, not one creek in the floorboards as he drew closer to the laughing hyenas in his living room. He wanted to kill them.

“You shouldn’t talk about women like that.” Mathias interjected, “That girl could be seriously hurt you know.”

“What would you know, you virgin?” Preston scoffed as he poured another glass of whiskey, “I bet you haven’t even seen a woman naked before.”

Mathias continued over stuttering words, “Just because I haven’t seen a woman naked before doesn’t mean I don’t know right from wrong. It’s not right to disrespect them.”

Joel briefly thought about sparing the kid. It seemed to him that he had no idea what he was doing with a group of blood thirsty raiders. If Mathias played his cards right then maybe he could survive.

“Sometimes… You really show your age kid.” Link shook his head.

“How about you come talk to us like real many when you’ve got your cherry popped alright?” Preston’s voice boomed in laughter, “I’m going to go take a leak.”

The other two though… There was no mercy left in Joel. He wanted to tear them apart until their guts painted his carpet his favorite color… But he thought against that because his firefly picked out that carpet and she would hate it if it got ruined.

Preston was easy as Joel waited in the hallway by the stairs. He was covered by the shadows that Preston didn’t even have a chance to scream as Joel dragged his into the darkness, a hand around his mouth and a knife imbedded deep into his neck.

And then he waited as patiently as he watched his next victim fall right into his trap.

“Yo Press! You get lost or somethin?” Joel heard Link yell.

When Link didn’t receive an answer from his brother, Joel knew he got him. He heard Link stand up as fear rippled down the raider’s spine. Link’s hands quickly grabbed his rifle as he called out again, “Preston!” And he listened intently for the response of his brother.

“You don’t think…” Mathias’s voice trailed off as he gulped.

“No. We would have heard that old man walk down the stairs if he were up.” Link shook his head, “He probably just can’t hear me, the drunk bastard. Go take a look.”

“What?” Mathias’s eyes widened in fear, “Why do I have too? He’s your brother. You should go see if he’s alright.”

“Because I’m the one with the gun and what I say goes.” Link pointed it towards the kid, “You want me to remind you of the last time you disobeyed me?”

Mathias shook his head in fear.

“Good. Now go take a look.” Link motioned to the hallway.

Joel listened as he heard Mathias trudge slowly to the hallway. Joel noted the kid didn’t have a gun, leaving him to believe that his was most likely by the front door.

“Preston?” Mathias stuttered out as he ventured further into the hallway. He was terrified, his hands shaking because he knew that something had happened and here he was being sentenced to death by a mad man.

“Please—” Mathias thought it would be best to try and plead for his life, but before he could finish, Joel’s hand was wrapped around his mouth.

“You don’t want to die right?” Joel spoke low, barely above a whisper.

Mathias struggled to shake his head no from the tight grip that Joel had, but he got his point across.

“Then go out there and distract him. Keep him from looking towards the hallway.” Joel commanded, “Do as I say and you live to see another day kid.”

Mathias gulped as he nodded. Joel let him go and watched as the kid tried to get his footing. Mathias straighted out as he tried his best to look normal.

“Anything?” Link asked as soon as Mathias appeared.

Mathias walked around him and waited till Link’s back was facing the hallway before he explained.

“I found your brother passed out in one of the guest rooms.” He lied. From the corner of his eyes he could see Joel creeping out from the shadows so he continued, “He probably thought that you and I could handle the rest of the night on look out.”

“Like hell I’m going to stay up. You and that big oaf out there is going to keep watch. I’m heading to—“ Before Link could finish speaking, Joel hit him across the head with the blunt end of his gun.

Mathias blubbered his words as he looked between Link and Joel.

“The man outside. He loyal to your cause?” Joel asked.

“Yes.” Mathias answered truthfully and he knew that he just condemned another one of his squad members to death.

“You gonna run?” Joel asked.

“No sir and…” Mathias spoke quickly, “I’m not loyal to them. I just want to survive, I swear. I barely know this group.”

“I know.” Joel took his knife out of his belt loop, “Tie him up in the kitchen. Ropes in the closet.”

With those orders, Joel left out the back door with one mission in mind. Embed his knife as deep as he can into the skull of the raider outside.

That left Mathias alone and he listened to Joel’s orders. He found the rope where Joel said it was and dragged Link to the kitchen where he heaved him up on one of the dining chairs and tied him to it.

“You know you deserve this.” Mathias muttered whether to convince Link or himself, he didn’t know, “I’ve sat by long enough as I watched you and your brother pillage, rape, and torture to get your way. You deserve this.” He made sure to tighten the ropes.

Joel rounded the corner of his house, his eyes focused on the man who stared straight ahead. He was alert as he sat in his chair, gun held securely in his hand. Joel prepared himself for an altercation as he veered closer.

With his knife raised, Joel took one more step just as the man clocked in on his position. The large man popped up from his seat as soon as Joel embedded the knife into his shoulder. With a grunt the man charged, trying to lift his rifle to aim, but the gun was too long and Joel was too close. Joel quickly grabbed the gun as they tussled on the front porch. Thankfully the tall muscular man didn’t try to yell or scream for help. I guess he figured he could take care of Joel himself.

Oh how wrong he was…

Mathias could vaguely hear the sounds of Joel and Kent fighting outside until suddenly it was quiet. He wondered with a racing heart who had won and if he should run? If Kent had won then maybe he could play victim? Say that Joel was the one who tied Link up. Should he hurt himself too? Try to make it seem more convincing? Before he could make a decision, the front door opened and in walked Joel who dragged Kent in behind him.

“He awake yet?” Joel asked calmly as if he didn’t just kill another man.

Mathias shook his head, “No.”

Joel set the lifeless body by the other one, both in sight of where Link was knocked out. Joel didn’t have time however, to wait for Mathias to wake up. He needed to find out just where this cabin was. He had enough, lying low now that he had all the information he needed about his family.

Joel stuffed a dish towel in Link’s mouth before shoving the knife deep into his leg. That was the quickest way to wake him up.

Link woke up with a scream as he felt pain rippling from his leg and throughout his body. His head was pounding and the world seemed fuzzy, but he could make out Joel leaning over him like a monster you would tell your children about.

“You’re going to tell me how to find my girl or you’re going to end up just like your brother over there.” He pointed towards the lifeless body, Preston’s shoes barely peaking of the hallway. He took the gag from Link’s mouth.

Link raged as he struggled against his ties, now he was fully awake, “You fucker! I’ll kill you!”

“Answer.” Joel twisted the knife.

“I ain’t tellin you nothin.” Link spat with venom.

Joel glanced over to Mathias, “Get me a bucket of water and another towel.”

Link’s gaze followed Joel to Mathias who was standing in the archway, “You’re with him? After I took you in? You dirty fucking little traitor. After all I’ve done for you, I should have skinned your ass when I had the chance!”

Mathias ignored him as he went on to collect the things that Joel asked for.

“Don’t look at him. Look at me.” Joel drew his attention back to him with the twist of this knife causing Link to groan out in pain. Joel spoke slow so that every word could sink in, “I am going to drown you. It’ll be slow and it’ll be painful. Or you can tell me where my girl is. The choice is yours.”

Link glared at him as anxiety and fear rippled through his body. He could see it in his eyes that Joel’s words rang true, “I don’t know.” He stated quickly as Mathias returned.

“Well now we both know that is a lie.” Joel placed a towel over his face, “Lean the chair back.” He ordered Mathias.

“You should tell him.” Mathias suggested.

“Fuck you.” Link spat back at him.

Mathias leaned down close to his ear, “You already did that, remember? Against my will.” Link shuttered from fear at Mathias’s next words, “You deserve this.”

Mathias leaned back up and nodded towards Joel, “Do it.”

The night was long with each pour of water, with each gasp for breath. Joel felt no remorse drowning a man with no morals and no regret.

“I don’t remember!” Link gasped as soon as he was allowed breathe.

“Try again.” Joel stated before dumping water on him as he struggled for breath against the soaked towel.

“Okay!” Link gasped, “Just please. Please stop! I’ll tell you! I’ll tell you!” Joel held out a map and a pen, “You’re going to point to where it is on the map.”

Mathias set the chair back on the ground. Link’s breath was ragged as he took the pen between his teeth and marked a spot a few hours away from Jackson. Once Joel was satisfied with that answer he glanced towards Mathias.

“He’s all yours.” Joel took a step back and motioned to the knife.

Link looked between them with wide eyes before settling on Mathias, “No. No. No. No. No. Wait. Please! Wait. I’m sorry! No! Please! Don’t!” The last words that fell from his mouth were blubbering pleas as Mathias shoved the blade deep into Link’s heart.

“Now you can’t hurt anyone anymore.” Mathias whispered as he watched the light fade from his eyes.

Mathias stood still for a moment as he tried to catch his breath and calm his racing heart. He felt numb, but he also felt free. He had a choice now as he turned to Joel.

“How old are you kid?” Joel asked as he grabbed the whiskey bottle from the table. He took a long sip as he waited for Mathias to answer.

“Nineteen.” Mathias answered as he looked away from his once abuser.

“I…” Joel’s words felt empty as he struggled to say them, “I’m sorry for what happened to you.”

Mathias didn’t give him an answer and Joel understood why, “Where are we going next?” Mathias asked instead.

Joel’s eyes widened slightly from Mathias’s question. He didn’t really understand why the kid wanted to tag along with him, but he didn’t refuse. Joel set the empty bottle down before handing over Kent’s rifle, “We’re going to get my family back.”

“Okay.” Mathias nodded as he took the gun. His green eyes shined bright with determination. It was as if he finally had a true purpose now and it felt exhilarating.

[duckprintspress]

Meet Aether Beyond the Binary Contributor Scarlett Gale

We are sloooowly creeping up on being 2/3rds funded on the crowdfunding campaign for Aether Beyond the Binary, an anthology of 17 stories by queer authors starring non-binary main characters in aetherpunk settings! It’ll definitely be a relief when we hit that wonderful 100%. Don’t forget to share Aether Beyond the Binary with friends who you think might be interested in the project!

Head on over to our Kickstarter Campaign page NOW to learn waaaay more about this project, and read on to get to know Scarlett Gale, read an interview with her, and check out an excerpt from her contribution!

About Scarlett Gale: Scarlett Gale is the author of His Secret Illuminations and His Sacred Incantations. Long ago, under another name, she was the co-author of Needles and Artifice (Cooperative Press; 2012), featuring a rollicking romantic steampunk adventure novella and associated knitting patterns, of which she also designed several. She writes and produces fringe theatre plays based on B-movies, such as Bodacious Barbarian Babes vs. The Indigo Empress and Showgirls of Beast Island. She is a co-producer of the Alison-Bechdel-approved Bechdel Test Burlesque, which in 2017 was included in the Women and Gender Studies curriculum at the University of Oregon. She lives in Seattle with her wife where she gardens, knits, reads, and drinks warm beverages. Unsurprisingly, she also has cats.

Links: Personal Website | Tumblr | Bluesky

This is Scarlett’s second time contributing to a Duck Prints Press anthology. A short story by her was also included in our debut anthology Add Magic to Taste. Learn more about Scarlett’s other published works.

An Interview with Scarlett Gale

What motivates you to create?

Spite and love in equal measure.

What are your goals as a creator?

To make the world a kinder, hornier place one story at a time.

Are you a pantser, a planner, or a planster? What’s your process look like?

I suppose Planster is the best description, though I think that makes me sound more like someone who has a lot of plants (she says, sitting next to a glass cabinet full of houseplants). For my longer works I usually start with a vibe and a general idea of the arc and write with no real outline until I’m about two-thirds through the story, at which point I will sit down and roughly bullet point the scenes I still want to write, arrange them into story order, and use that as a reference to finish the piece. Why when I’m two-thirds through? Because at that point I’ve had enough Shower Ideas that if I don’t document them somewhere, I risk forgetting to put them in, and my Shower Ideas are the most inspired parts of my writing!

What do you consider to be your strengths as a creator?

Wordcount. Good god, wordcount. I am the rare writer who can just sit down at a computer and bang out several hundred words in twenty minutes without second-guessing myself or worrying if the words are good enough. This makes me simultaneously the best and worst person to have in your writering group.

What do you consider to be your weaknesses as a creator?

Also wordcount. I think every story I’ve submitted to the Press has started out two thousand words above the limit, which means we have to do sooooo much editing. Goodbye, my beautiful words!

Do you like having background noise when you create? What do you listen to? Does it vary depending on the project, and if so, how?

Yes! It makes writing feel less lonely, since I do a lot of it only accompanied by my cats. I listen to music at a medium to low volume that either has no lyrics, or lyrics in a language I don’t speak so I don’t get distracted by the words. I actually bought the cheapest Pandora subscription specifically for writing music. My favorite stations are:

Lofi Chill

Bonobo*

Mikel & Gamechops 

Radio Asian Kung-Fu Generation (a recent addition)

*Fun story about the group Bonobo: The morning after our wedding, my whole family crowded into our tiny house to watch us open our wedding gifts. I had given my siblings control over distributing the drink tickets, which meant that after they handed them out to the guests, they used the remaining tickets to get SPECTACULARLY plastered, and were thus deeply hungover. My wife made loads of coffee while everyone grazed on the catering leftovers, and in the interest of creating a calming atmosphere, we put on a Bonobo album. Everyone liked the music, to the point that they repeatedly asked the name of the group, which meant my wife and I kept repeating, with increasing exasperation, “BONOBO!! LIKE THE MONKEY!!!!” It is my primary memory of that morning.

What are your favorite snacks and/or drinks to consume while creating?

Remember to eat? While I’m writing?? You think I’m sensible or something?! (I enjoy a cup of tea, either green, decaf black, or herbal, depending on the time of day.)

Tell us about your pet(s).

We currently have three cats: CeeCee, Matcha, and Gyoza. CeeCee (the Lady Catherine the Purr) is our most recent addition from March of 2023. She’s a fifteen year old scrungly tiny black goblin who knows exactly what she wants out of life: Food, sippies from the bathroom sink, belly rubs, and shoulder rides. If we are not providing any of these at the speed she would prefer, she screams at us. She’s PERFECT.

Matcha is an eight-pound calico brat with the sass of at least four cats crammed into her tiny body. Her favorite things in life are causing trouble and rubbing her face on my hands when I’m trying to write.

Gyoza is a sixteen pound gray tabby with the physical properties of a water balloon full of pudding. He loves to try to “play” with Matcha, which results in her screaming like she’s being murdered. His other favorite thing to do is play in the toilet and then come step on us with his wet toilet feet, because he’s the worst.

Please enjoy this festive photo of the three of them that I had to photoshop from three individual photos, since all of them hate each other.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

Always take the opportunity to use the restroom when it’s available to you. Solid life advice applicable to any situation, really!

What’s the worst advice you’ve ever received?

I had a Jimmy John’s delivery guy tell me I should lie to people and say my fire-engine-red hair was natural, does that count? (I stared him down blankly long enough that he spontaneously apologized.)

If you could give one piece of advice to a new creator who came to you for help, what would that advice be?

Just write it. You can fix the words once they’re on the page, but excessive planning and worrying and worldbuilding won’t help you if you don’t write the words. Just write it! Let it be bad! Fix it in post! Write the damn thing!!!

What’s one thing (style, genre, etc.) that you think you’ll never do, and why not?

Write the type of fantasy book that has a map in the front and a glossary of terms, only because I personally am not motivated to do that level of worldbuilding. I appreciate the people who want to do that, but I guarantee that as a reader I will skip the map and then probably the glossary in order to get to the STORY, which tells you where my priorities lie.

Scarlett’s Contribution to Aether Beyond The Binary

Title: N(ae)ghbours

Tags: attraction at first sight, bisexual, city mouse and country mouse, competence kink, didn’t know they were dating, f/nb, farmer, first kiss, genderfluid, getting together, humor, idiots to lovers, meet cute, misgendering (unintentional), omg they were neighbors, panic attacks (mentions of), present tense, self-esteem issues, third person limited pov

Excerpt:

“But you were going to tell me what you’re researching?”

Ah. Well. “This might be boring and hard to explain.”

Rin waves a fork at the breakfast spread between them. “You have at least five pancakes’ worth of time. Hit me.”

Dahlia takes a steadying sip of tea. She explains about greenhouses and other protected growing areas for delicate crops, and the advantages and disadvantages of using them on a large scale. She explains that her family has a small greenhouse for starts, but most of their land is open-air, which means they get the advantages that come with that, but also the issues—they’re at the mercy of the weather, insects, birds…

Or they would be if not for the aether tunnel.

“It’s like a hoop house,” Dahlia explains, pulling up a photo of a hoop house on her phone to show Rin. “Normally, you cover the frame with mesh, or clear bio-plastic if you’re trying to trap the heat and control the amount of water it gets, but…”

“That’d rip right off in a big storm, right? And how do you get in there when you need to do plant stuff?”

(don't forget to check out the campaign, now that you've read to the end!)

[desdemonafictional]

What Can I Do For You (part 3)

further ideas I had about the Kabru/Laios QPR situation

 Laios didn’t put a lot of effort into remembering people when he didn’t have to. Assigning politicians monstrous personas secretly in his head made things easier, but it did still require conscious effort. If he tried to do it for every single person he was introduced to as king, he’d probably go insane within a week. So, it wasn’t really a surprise that he had no idea who Kabru was over there talking to right now. Although he was starting to worry that he should know, because Kabru had been talking to that same woman basically the whole night. Was she someone important?

“Tch,” said a voice somewhere around Laios’s hip.

Laios looked down to find Kabru’s halfling teammate—Mikel? Mikebell?—looking in the same direction. He and Kuro had matching dumpling skewers from the booth down the street, where an enterprising cook had set up shop for the harvest festival.

“What?” said Laios. “Do you know her too?”

“Only in the sense that I’ve known dozens of girls get that same look around Kabru,” the halfling said. Mickbell. Definitely. Probably.

Laios squinted at the woman in question. She seemed like she was having a good time. She was standing very close to Kabru, close enough that Laios felt like he’d have been chastised for doing that to a stranger.

“He never learns,” Mickbell said, with a hint of a smile that felt unpleasant to Laios. “Next thing you know, she’ll invite him to bed, and then it’ll be another month of him running himself ragged trying to find some other guy to pawn her off on. I swear half the girls in this town only have husbands because Kabru needed to get rid of them in a hurry.”

The woman bounced on her toes, autumn flowers in her hair shedding petals like snow. Laios remembered the night Kabru had offered to become his lover. It had seemed incomprehensible to Laios, at the time. Why would you offer to have sex with someone if you didn’t want the sex? What was the point?

Kabru didn’t look uncomfortable. That was, none of the cues he’d been teaching Laios to recognize stood out. He was smiling. He wasn’t pulling or even looking away. But Kabru was the one who taught Laios to recognize those things. If he didn’t want to show them, Laios had a feeling he wouldn’t.

If he didn’t want to go home with her, would he say so?

Maybe a teammate would understand. “Does he… like doing that? The first night at least?” Laios asked.

“He likes the attention, that’s what I think,” Mickbell remarked. He tore the last dumpling off the stick chewed meditatively. “Honestly I can’t even tell if he likes girls or what, he never talks about them.”

Mickbell reached around and pinched half a dumpling off Kuro’s skewer without asking. The kobold let him.

It usually happens on accident, Kabru had remarked, when Laios asked him what all that had been about. So why not do it on purpose, for once?

“If he doesn’t want people getting the wrong idea, he should stop being so friendly with everyone,” Mickbell said. “It’ll get him in trouble one of these days.”

And you’re just going to let it happen, Laios thought.

Anger itched at the back of Laios’s neck. It was like poison ivy; not scratching it put him on edge, but he knew scratching would just make things worse. Rather than say something, Laios turned and walked away without another word, leaving Mickbell sputtering in his wake.

The dirt path, littered with leaves, crunched under his boots. The half moon waxing above the castle town painted roofs and treetops with silver, a world apart from the golden glow of festival lanterns.

Laios tapped Kabru on the shoulder. The younger man startled and turned, eyes widening.

“Excuse me,” Laios said, because that was what you were supposed to say, “I need to borrow my friend for a while, miss. Actually, for the whole night. Maybe longer.”

The woman stumbled back. “Oh, um,” she said, “yes, your highness. That’s—whatever you say.”

It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know. Laios did his best not to be rude, because it wouldn’t be fair. “Please enjoy the night,” he said. “There’s spiced apple tarts over at the wagon. You should try some.”

She bobbed a quick curtsy. “Yes sir. I mean, your highness.”

Laios hooked his elbow around Kabru’s arm and pulled him away, into the safe empty avenue behind the hedges. The edge of anger was cooling, and second thoughts were setting in.

“…I probably scared her,” he murmured. “Damn. I didn’t mean to.”

“What did you mean to do?” Kabru asked him. Despite the fact that his arm was linked with Kabru’s arm, Laios had almost forgotten he was there.

“—Oh,” said Laios. He stopped walking and turned to look at his friend without entirely letting go. “Kabru, did you like her?”

Kabru gave him one of those looks that mean he wasn’t following the conversation. “She was interesting,” he answered, as if picking his words with care. “She was telling me about her family.”

“But did you want to sleep with her?” Laios pressed.

Kabru’s eyebrows jumped towards his hairline. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous? You of all people?”

“What? No,” Laios said. “But she was going to ask you to spend the night, right? If she asked, would you have said yes?”

“I might have,” Kabru allowed. “I don’t have any reason not to.”

The frustration was starting to well back up. “But did you want to? If you were attracted to her, just say so, and I’ll let you go back.”

Kabru was staring at him.

“Laios,” he said, “what the fuck?”

“It’s messed up of you to lead someone on like that,” Laios said, feeling his fists start to clench. “If you don’t like her like that, you should just say so!”

Kabru jerked away from him. “You don’t know what I want,” he snapped.

“Why won’t you just say yes or no!” Laios demanded.

“I can make my own decisions; I don’t need your permission to take a lover or not!”

“So you were just going to let her think you liked her, and then pawn her off on someone else so she wouldn’t annoy you anymore?”

“What—where are you getting this from?”

“I talked to Mickbell,” Laios ground out. “He said it’s a thing you do.”

“I can’t believe you were gossiping about me,” Kabru said. “If I wasn’t so pissed off, I’d be impressed! I didn’t know you knew how to do that!”

Laios felt as if he’d been whipped across the nose with claws. He drew back, glaring, and pulled his cloak around himself.

In the blink of an eye, Kabru’s twisted expression dropped. He covered his mouth with a hand, brows pinched. “No,” he said, “no, I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.”

It was one thing to hear that kind of thing from asshole strangers, but with Kabru—his friend, the first friend who was just his alone—he hadn’t been ready for it.

“Forget it,” Laios said, and left before he could make things worse.

[arsenalgbt]

Hi Me again veryyy much agree with the follow up reblog that has those poetry excerpts - very much Declan indeed! Also I hope I didn't come off wrong in the beginning - I don't Think Declan is a bad/evil/failed [insert role here], I think he very much falls into that trap himself which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy (as in, he thinks himself as a bad husband/friend/whatever and this obsession leads him to actually hurt the people in question unintentionally (though at times it can be intentional) thus displaying bad/evil/failed [role] tendencies. nothing is inherent to him!!! nothing is tied to his nature!! at his core he's not good not bad He's Fundamentally Trying!!). Anyway fake dating sounds nice! if you want me to have fully fledged freedom good with that but a little more detail wouldn't hurt <3 sending love very excited for the next instalment

OH

I think he very much falls into that trap himself which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy (as in, he thinks himself as a bad husband/friend/whatever

honestly the only answer I can think of is really for not having the parental figure he needed. mum died too young. dad grieved so hard + got a protege in Mikel (just cuz Mikel already graduated from uni lol), not-stepmum Elizabeth wanted nothing to do with him.........

nothing is inherent to him!!! nothing is tied to his nature!! at his core he's not good not bad He's Fundamentally Trying!!

me crying

*claps hands* *we might see a new chapter this weekend*

now my fic request;

ngl I prolly only read <10 fake dating fics in my life? like srsly nothing ever stand out to me, I remember nothing LOL 's why I requested this trope :D

found this from a Tumblr prompts post: "You don't know how glad I am this is not real. I would lose my mind if you were my actual gf/bf/partner." PLEASE PLEASE write dec or kai spouting this bullshit!!!!

again if it's pr0n, I'm team bottom kai agenda only okay :D

"Heart twisting uncomfortably in Character A’s chest when they see Character B’s eyes lighting up when they’re talking to someone else, so much so Character A has to tear their eyes away to calm themselves down. The reminder of fake, fake, fake repeats in Character A’s head. "

"Seeking for Character B’s hand subconsciously, intertwining their fingers, palm pressed against palm; snug and warm, the feeling of never wanting to let go almost overwhelming. But this is fake be damned — for now, it’s all about the comfort. (It becomes a habit.)"

pls add those two aspects as well :D

the rest is up to you. the why, who they are, where, etc - go wild mate :D

hopefully it's not too detailed but it can paint a clearer better picture for your fic!!!!! pls have fun and take your time I will be there dot pep guardiola dot gif