#why am i so full of hate rn
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when he splash his pure shit water up ur nose during butt bath time and then acts like the victim
#he also decided he would fight me and roll around in that shit water#so full bath#he is getting a churi or whatever its cLled after but i am literally so annoyed at him rn#okay but also i did laugh very hard seeing his little rat ass bolt out of the bathroom#and trail water everywhere#god i hate him if i get a sinus infection his ass will be on the streets#not srs#churus lowkey make me give a side eye#bc its always something a cat can eat plus something a cat definitely cannot eat#and im just like i hope there arent actual green onions in this….#this is why u always have a neti pop on hand#kms
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hA HA HA. I AM SO STABLE AND OKAY AND I DO NOT HAVE TO WATCH BLUEY TO PREVENT MYSELF FROM EXPLODING LIKE A SHAKEN SODA BOTTLE AND I AM NOT CRYING ABOUT NOTHING EVER. EVERYTHING IS FINE.
#HA HA HA. HA. HA.#BAD.#I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY IM SO UPSET#ITS JUST MINOR BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN EVERY DAY WHY AM I STUPID#.(#IM NOT IN FULL MELTDOWN TERRITORY BUT THE POTENTIAL IS THERE AND I JUST CANT RIGHT NOW I CANT#I DONT HAVE TOWN#I CANNOT#NO#NO MELTDOWNS#NOT RN I CANNOT#NOT EVER IDEALLY ACTUALLY#I HATE IT HERE#GOD GOD GOD FUCK WHY IS LIVING SO LIKE THAT#HEHEHRBRGHRGHAHAHAHA PAIN
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I am not exaggerating when I say I live with one of the worst cishet men I've ever met in my life and its horrible
Pretty big vent incoming in tags, just a warning. Feel free to scroll past /gen
#sorry i. need to vent#he is genuinely one of the most ignorant; stubborn; and absolutely manchild of a man I've ever seen#I'm not fucking lying when I say he gets pissy and shouts and complains about EVERYTHING#and I don't mean just occasional shouting and getting loud#whenever he's upset. its /loud/. very loud#first time in my 5 years of knowing him I had enough and snapped back at him because he was yelling at me-#-bc I supposedly do absolutely nothing around the house and I take horrible care of myself and dont care about anything#at least in regards to the house#and complains about why I'm deciding not to go to college and that he got a job at 15 while he's literally#in his mid 40's#so.#like.#I told him I'm still 18 and I dont want him to boss around my entire fucking life but he brought up the excuse again of-#-him doing all the shit I SHOULD be doing by his words when he was 15#first of all. like. to get things straight; we are not related at all not even in the slightest#he's my mothers bf; I don't know why he gets so pissy at me about MY life of all things#like Jesus Christ shut up challenge impossible#yeah I had a fun (/s) moment earlier where I went to clean my dish and he started to snap at me about how I-#-walk past the dishes every day while they're piled up and I should do them. meanwhile. they're literally not mine. ever#I get it yeah but. whatever. he kept going onn and on and on and got even more upset with me literally not saying or doing anything to-#-provoke him more#Ig he just doesn't know that!! wow!! I do actually care about my life and future!!!!#and that getting a job is not that easy or the same as it was 30+ fucking years ago!! wow!! who would've guessed!!!!#Like genuinely i am literally trying to get a job rn and shit and have been stressing horribly about it for literal YEARS#but yeah ignore that I guess ok sure buddy#god sorry i.. really hate him. a lot#I dont like to hate on people really; esp if im accustomed to them. but him. he. no <3#I will say I hate him w my full chest#vent#negative post
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#i have chosen the worst week to have my period i fucking hate everything#it has been months since my last one#bc i’m on the pill bc of how painful my periods are#but you have to stop taking it for a week or so every few months to have your period and i decided to do it this month and i hate this#there’s a heatwave going on rn#the next week is full of these stupid fucking tests#i am in so much pain rn it’s not even funny#this is why i had to stop my period#personal#if yall are bothered by talk of periods then too fucking bad deal with it
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Me when a school assignment is giving me alotta anxiety:
Bro I fucking hate IXL, and you know what I gotta do? SEVERAL IXLS. IF I GET LESS THAN A 50 MY DAD WILL TAKE MY DEVICES AWAY, AND THIS IS GIVING ME SO MUCH FUCKIN ANXIETY ITS MAKING ME INCAPABLE OF SLEEPING OH MY GOD WHY CANT WE DELETE IXL?! ITS USELESS AND HORRIBLE FOR STUDENTS WITH MY KINDA ANXIETY FILLED BRAIN
#vent post#i hate school#Why are schools so shit#I am full of anxiety rn send help#Kill me now I hate this
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being neurodivergent is all fun and games until you remember those hourly quote bots on twitter and think well maybe I can't make a bot anymore but I could schedule a few quotes a day, that shouldn't be hard. it sounds fun to have a bunch of quotes of my favorite character Thirteen from hit mobile game Obey Me! and its sequel Obey Me! Nightbringer. and then you think about how arduous collecting the quotes is going to be but she's only been in the games for maybe a year and a half with little screentime and you love collecting things so you start but then you remember that you love collecting things so naturally you have ALL of her screentime in the game and suddenly you have 45k characters of quotes and are several lessons into season 4 (which is truly a trial in and of itself) but not nearly close enough to the end but you refuse to just stop collecting the quotes and make the account with the EXCESS of what you have already because you literally only have season 4 to get through and if you don't do it just seeing the bot (because now you've been informed you can make tumblr bots instead) will haunt you with that knowledge even if nobody else would ever know. this is a general anecdote of a situation that could easily happen to anyone though and not in any way related to my life
#obey me on side#ummm i don't have a personal tag yet because i hated looking at this blog before the revamp so i'll do that later#with the carrd. usually when i say i'll do something later it means sometime in the next 3 years but i actually mean this one#but rn there's no way to tell i'm a lesbian (except for the thirteen icon. + probably also the ruri-chan banner she's lesbian colors)#okay maybe you can tell but I want to be CLEAR#anyway i would also like to note that immediately before starting this project i spent a full week lamenting my lack of free time#because I wanted to write some fics. and then literally as soon as i got free time I went um. no. quote doc instead I think#????? girl why did you do that to yourself#fortunately i'm now bored of reading s4 so i can go back to writing#unrelated but all of these fics contain a significant amount of solomon and i like him that's not surprising but it was unintentional#which IS surprising. like okay one of them is about solodeus (specifically mc playing matchmaker so i don't clickbait) so that's obligatory#and another is based off of the new solomon card (IT'S CUTE) so that's also kind of obligatory#(the third one is based off of luke's card from the dnd nightmare a while back because i was entranced by its strange unbalanced party)#but usually i try to switch up the characters i write about to get comfy with all of them and not just the ones that make sense to me#that's not entirely accurate it's my one braincell bouncing around like a windows screensaver picking a new fave every time it hits a side#but also to get used to writing them all. anyway#i'll just write about satan to balance it he's always been a fav but i am obsessed with him in nightbringer he is so offputting and tragic#if you're still reading these tags please see above on th 'later is up to three years' in regards to the fics still haven't posted anything#hoping to change that soon though I WILL eventually.
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It's really funny looking back at my old concepts for this doll/character and seeing oh I was going for x vibe and now that I'm redoing it (and with better techniques/tools/practice kind of) it's going so much better than it did before
#twist rambles#like. why did i want to do full acrylic on the lips 😭 it does NOT look like real lip texture i promise#this is mostly thanks to a VERY helpful bjd forum member who was very patient with me but i feel that even tho I've taken over 6 months off#doing faceups this one is better than the one i tried to do last on her. weirdly parallel to the first faceup i did on cordy tbh bc that was#after YEARS of not practicing or doing it but doing more art related stuff. and it turned out very well for the time i was doing it#and thats how this is going. i think doing digital art has helped a lot weirdly like I'm working in more subtle layers and building it up#which works better for well. guy w insanely shaky hands disease (esp rn. ive been up nearly 24 hrs). so im glad its going well so far :)#hope that will continue bc i rly am happy w it thus far. rn just waiting for like 5 min until the sealant is dry and then... more eyebrow#work :/ <- hates doing the eyebrows. would love to never ever ever have to do eyebrows again okay.
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Where’s the space in society for girls who don’t want to do their degree and don’t want to work and feel so overwhelmed by everything all the time :(
#this sounds far too adjacent to terrible tiktok takes but SCREAM#I hate it ! I don’t think I’ve ever been as on top of uni work as I am rn#like I’m literally a week ahead on readings#and yet I still feel so full of anxiety and I feel so overwhelmed and as if everyone’s abt to collapse#like I exhaust myself with how much I worry abt things#why can’t I have a life that doesn’t fill me with so much stress and pressure#that I turn inwards and cut off all the things I enjoy to only focus on productivity#like I’m so much better than I was and I still don’t feel like enough !!
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had to pick up my sisters from somewhere and it was so crowded and im sick and in pain and worrying about the exam i should be at home studying for istg idk how we got home safe i was so pissed off i almost drove into the cars in front of me i fucking hate driving this country needs a proper public transport system so i don’t go insane
#i cannot feel my legs#i am so full of anger i feel like im about to explode#i was supposed to come home and study but really i can’t deal with anything rn im watching doona in hopes of being so invested in it that i#forget i exist for a second#idk why im this upset i feel like i want to break everything around me rn but im holding myself back so now i feel like crying#i think it’s my period speaking but really im losing my mind i hate driving i hate cars i hate this fucking society full of insane drivers#my visions is getting blurry and i don’t feel my body anymore i think im actually going insane#driving is worse than drugs for me apparently#im gonna call my friend and ask her to pick me up tomorrow im done driving khala9#gonna crush my car keys and throw them away
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last
for realsies
#HELLO IM VENTING AGAIN IM SO SORRY#i am sick of everything the usual but i just need some fucking therapy and my diagnosises are taking too long because the system is shit#over here and i feel like i am a literal walking disaster a hazard to myself are my meds even working anymore idk? someone needs to lock me#in a fucking wardrobe before i loose my shit and do something stupid as fuck at least im self aware ok were growing this is called growth#wow ok amazing spectacular#like tonight ive decided i hate everyone again i want to quit uni actually might do it this time i just applied for a random job for no#reason i have a job but if i have 2 then i can over work myself to the max so i dont have to go into uni#i have three weeks off so now im cutting everyone off who knows how long this episode is gonna last for#i am loosing my god damn mind i do not want to do anything everything is so hard why is everyone so pressuring#i stopped doing some of my stupid habbits but now im just going full circle again so im thriving rn live love laugh am i right guys or what#AND WHY CANT I JUST HAVE A THERPAIST WHO CONTACTS ME ITS BEEN SINCE OCTOBER U FUCKING BITCH GO FUCK URSELF#anyway im in huge amounts of pain too idk what i do in my sleep or something but my shoulders hurt so bad#i hate wet tags on clothes when they stick to you throws up actually#i had stale fucking garlic bread today and i want to move out but if i move out then things will get worse for me#why cant i maintain a normal friendship without loosing my mind and hating everyone i mean no one knows my friends are pretty good with me#they understand but i dont know#ive come to the conclusion that i am just a shit
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#wak#negative /#tag vent /#man.. why is everything so draining#like.. fr it seems like I can't do Anything for an extended amount of time without burning out and wanting to quit#like. when I was little it was my absolute dream to be able to do nothing but draw all day every day but#now as an adult the thought of it stresses me out and makes me sick to my stomach#I used to get so excited about getting commissions but#now every time I see that someone's commissioned me I just dread doing it as if it's something I'm getting graded for in two days#(note that this isn't a slight against people who've commed me by any means. if you've commed me you're a saint)#(but. that's just how I feel and I wish it wasn't)#which is why comms are closed rn and idk when I'm opening them back up#rn I'm doing commission-based editing/proofreading work for a small publishing comp#something that I Also once aspired to do full-time#but.. I'm already kinda getting tired of it? probably bc my current project is 140+ pages that I have to get done in two weeks#like.. it's not Bad and I'm not quitting (I don't have a choice anyway. this is the closest thing I have rn to a consistent-ish job)#but it.. just gets less fun w every manuscript and I hate that#and like... whenever I go out no matter where I am I just want to go back home#I have no 'dream job' anymore. I have no goals. I don't want to go places or do things I just want to be home sleeping#but. as we all know that's not an option in the capitalist hellscape we live in#hell... even if we Didn't live in the hellscape it probably still wouldn't be an option lol#and of course my mom will not hear any of it and just thinks I'm being spoiled and lazy and 'using my aut as an excuse'#and most people including supposed '''''leftists'''' would probably agree with her too#bc 95% of '''"radical communists''''' on here are Adults Aren't Allowed To Exist Outside Of Working And That's How Things Should Be truther#who vocally treat unemployment as a moral failing and as a Bad Person Trait™ inbetween making Capitalism Bad posts#but I'm getting offtopic. Maybe I Am Useless And Lazy And A Leech Or Etc#but what I'm trying to say is I feel like I'm going to be miserable and feel like just a machine no matter what I do#and like I'm never going to have a happy or fulfilling life#and that my only option is to go to sleep never wake up and hope I'm reborn with no mental illnesses or trauma and into a rich family#but.. fat chance.
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woaw
#truly i am making myself nauseous rn#getting stabbed in the chest would hurt less#i love being so unlovable and insignificant. i am so full of hate and toxic energy no wonder ppl avoid me#i made a mental list rn of every person in my life and why they hate me and would be better off without me <3#depression
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#idk what’s going on rn#just having a small tiny breakdown over my ex#(i fucking hate saying that word)#i just#i hate her i don’t know why i’m so affected by her#i think it’s just because like#she was my best friend#i think i’m more upset over losing my best friend#than anything else#and i also really fucking hate myself for asking her out#because i knew from the start that she’s a fucking player#and it feels so unfair to akeyla#and i just#i don’t know#and i feel really bad for being upset over her#because i don’t miss her as a girlfriend (if we were ever fucking together- sometimes i doubt that we even were)#i miss her as a friend#but i feel like just missing her full stop makes it seem like im not over her#and i just. feel like a bitch for still being upset when i am in the best relationship i could hope to ever be in and akeyla is so much mor-#-e than i deserve#and i just.#i dont fucking know anymore#and like i know akeyla says it doesn’t matter that i was with her before but it matters to me that i was with her before#and i hate thinking of her as my ex#or as my previous girlfriend or anything#i hate it#i jsut wish i never fucking asked her out#personal
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life kicks me in the ribs yet again: more than likely i won't be able to get all the money i need in time for the alatreon model, so. got excited for nothing :)
#mar.txt#vent? i guess?#again:girlhelp:#i need $120.25 still and of course i didnt get a job in time because why would things go my way and even if i do a bunch around the house#the money is due the day before my dad gets paid so that won't work#im panicking sort of to the point of being kind of nauseous from it haha#turning to art comms from my friends out of desperation but i don't think i'll get enough to cover the last bit of cost#not to mention the issue of my phone absolutely fucking sucks ass so i can't do digital art until i get a new one so any comms i DO have/get#will have to wait until i get a new phone for me to finish them and i know that's kind of A Problem which is why i'm only asking close#friends who i know won't be bothered by the idea of paying upfront then having to wait a little while for the finished product#though at least i can get the paper basic sketch done,since i draw the basic thing on paper then do more detail and whatnot digitally#idk if any of my moots wouldn't be bothered by that. i can promise i will get the full things done once i get a new phone. i'm just really#fucking desperate rn lmao god i fucking hate everything#i need to just. stop letting myself feel the emotion of excitement over Anything in the future. because when i do it always,ALWAYS goes#wrong. youd think id learn by now but no apparently im just too fucking stupid to#anyways. ill draw humanoids and i can try my absolute damndest at mh monsters even though i kind of struggle with anything but malzeno#practice makes perfect right? hahahahahaaa. fuck me.#not to be concerning on main but if this were me a few years ago i think at this point i'd be genuinely considering offing myself because i#am SO fucking tired of literally everything possible going wrong and even the things that are SUPPOSED to bring me some comfort or happiness#among the ocean of everything else ALSO going wrong#obviously the more money that could be tossed my way the better but hell i'll even do just paper sketch comms for a lower price i am#genuinely desperate because i really REALLY just want this ONE fucking thing to go right for me. god. just One thing.#alternatively if anyone wants to just. Give Me money. idk id feel bad about getting money without giving something in return but if anyone#WANTS to do that theyre free to as well. idk just dm me for my paypal if that or a shitty probably time-delayed comm sounds like smthn youd#be interested in??? even tho who am i kidding lmfao nobody will,that would be too good and i'm obviously just not fucking allowed to have#good things huh#ugh. sorry for the vent post Again. i swear we'll return to the usually scheduled funnyman stuff and ocposting. eventually. :/
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bit sick of containing multitudes tbh! contradicting myself getting a lil exhausting
#lol this week has been extremely full of a wide bredth of humab#human experience and it's been great!!! and awful!! i think i just wanna be a marble for a lil while. cool smooth rolling around lazily etc#the whiplash of 'WOW this lovely girl thinks I'm hilarious witty and cool love my big beautiful brain I'm crushing this date gonna get an A'#to 'oh fuck oh god i fucked up my moving process gonna have to pay this massive fee for no reason other than being the dumbest bitch alive'#and 'i hate my brain this thing is a prison i want a refund' then realizing 'wait actually i didnt mess it up everythings fine. okay.'#unfortunately in the needs to sleep so bad that i cant sleep mode rn why am i not in BED#anyway tho who let me convince myself for my whole life that i was bad at flirting. i thinki#i think im actually lowkey great at it lmao
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Wait, has reader and Gojo ever said I love you? Cause I swear Gojo be constantly asking her "Do you love me yet :D?" When they weren't even dating yet
oh yeah they’re saying shit all of the time, but if you recall (or don’t idk) it did indeed take them nine years to get together.
which is actually so ridiculous now that i’m thinking about it??? guys be so honest with me rn
still, gojo knows you love him. and he’s sure to use that to his full advantage.
“are you sure you have to leave?” he’s asking you, a year in, his smile different than when you were still in school—and yet so the same.
he hasn’t changed since your second year, but everything else has.
maybe that’s why you’re so attached to him, actually.
“are you sure you don’t want to stay?” he asks again, so sweetly, tugging on your hand from where he’s leaning across the couch.
“am i sure that i want to go to bed and escape you? yes.”
satoru doesn’t even flinch. “but are you sure?”
you roll your eyes and shake his hand from yours. you’ll be back tomorrow. he can deal with ten hours apart from you (and maybe you can too).
but as soon as you walk towards the door, he’s following.
“stay,” he says, already whining. “don’t you love me?”
“what a question, satoru.”
“but we’re perfect for each other,” he tells you, picking up your hand again. his voice is honey-thick, flirty. “you think i’m cute and i think that you’re right about that.”
“you should leave me a yelp review or something,” you tell him, pushing at his chest. “with all your high praise.”
“sure. all you have to do is tend to me and spend the night,” he grins. “simple. i’ve even got silk pajamas you can wear.”
you blink. “what a tempting offer.”
but you’re grabbing your bag, then your shoes, attached to satoru at one end and busy on the other.
“c’mon. you’ll miss me.”
“it sounds more like you’ll miss me, and you hate being alone.”
“because i do hate being alone. and i hate being apart from my one true love—“
you do end up leaving that night—but it might be a couple of hours later.
and when you don’t let gojo pick up another assortment of sweets at the store he’s hanging his head on your shoulder, pouting. “i thought you loved me,” he says, so sadly it almost makes you give in.
almost.
“hmm…” you’re walking down the isles, being sure not to pay any attention to him (he’s being punished for not holding your hand earlier). “i’ll think about it and get back to you.”
“what? we have matching bracelets though.”
you pause, eyebrow raised. “no we don’t?”
“well, we will when i buy them.”
“if you’re buying some for us you’re also going to have to get some for tsumiki. you know how she feels about being left out—“
“yeah yeah,” satoru is still on your shoulder, his throat vibrating just enough for you to feel it down your back. and then his eyes drift over and he’s gone. “look at this! i need it.”
(he doesn’t).
it’s not that he can’t say the words, or that you can’t, even.
it’s more that sincerity is toxic to the both of you, that being honest is a drug you’ve gotten used to. the dosage is too small, the affects are temporary.
and you’re busy. you use up your admiration for tsumiki and megumi—assuring them constantly that you love them, that they’re wonderful just as they are.
being a parent changes that perspective; it makes love something so different. loving them is as easy as giving up—giving in to that simple want to be there for them.
actually being in love is different.
and you knew that when you were sixteen, really. you’ve known that for years. but being in love with gojo satoru changes once you have the responsibility of the children.
there’s less time to do it, more time to dwell on it.
you’ve always been so scared of him. not like everyone else—not because he could hurt you in and instant, because he’s holds more power than you could possibly imagine.
but because you don’t want him to. you want him to be that boy that surprised you when you first met, the one who leans on your shoulder and grins until you’re defenseless.
love doesn’t always work the way you want it to, you suppose.
as soon as the two of you say the words—as soon as satoru finally lets his unbreakable guard down—it seems… ridiculous. juvenile.
of course you love him, and of course he loves you.
you never needed words to know that.
#gojo x reader#a typical family#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo x you#satoru gojo x reader#jjk gojo#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n#satoru x reader#jjk fanfic#gojo x y/n#satoru x you#jjk fluff#jjk x you
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