#i jsut wish i never fucking asked her out

[quitealotofsodapop]

The Egg Aus where Wukong spends a significant amount of time in Heaven, Peaches, and TMKATI Wu have glasses. Basically his eyes are so fucked up from the Furnace that he actually has terrible eyes sight and that's why he 'can't read.' It's not that he never learned how, he jsut can't see shit unless he's using Gold Vision due to the injuries he sustained during the Havoc in Heaven

YUP

we be talking in dms about this - Wukong needs glasses/eye care. I have an older TMKATI post about it here + here + Goddess of Eyesight.

Although our dear monkey boy is a medical nerd, he's terrified of actually seeing someone for his own ailments (getting nearly executed a bunch by celestials does that to you).

But in the cases where his adoptive family (mortal or celestial) get a hold of him, they demand he seek medical help for his obvious scars and eye problems.

Man can't read not because he can't but because he can't see. He ain't got his prescription!

Princess Yanguang - Goddess of Eyesight, is so hilarious to remember, since she's almost achingly normal compared to the rest of her family.

Yanguang: "Mother, Father, there's something I truly desire and I wish for your blessing." Jade Emperor & Xiwangmu, sharing panicked thoughts: "Oh crap, she's in love, isn't she?" "She's always been so independent, she's never shy to ask something she wants." Yanguang: "i want to study Optometry." Jade Emperor & Xiwangmu: (*MASSIVE sighs of relief!*) Jade Emperor: "Oh thank the Pure Ones, I thought it was something terrible. Yeah, you can go study eye medicine or what have you." Yanguang: "Sweet." (*goes to Earth and stays as an immortal Optometrist*)

this of course leads to hilarious interactions with Wukong/Peaches, whom she manages to convince to let her look at his damaged eyes.

Wukong: "Yeah they've been red and gold since the Furnace. Ever since then I've been able to activate Gold Vision." Yanguang: "You burned your corneas, dumbass." Wukong: "Huh?" Yanguang: "Glamours don't work on people with already damaged eyesight. Your species likely has Gold Vision-built in and it activates with sight decay." Wukong: "Sooooo... about glasses-" Yanguang: "You need them. And you desperately need eye drops. Same thing happened with Tieshan's boy when he kept setting fire to everything." Wukong: "Dang it."

Peaches/Wukong chooses to wear contacts most of the time for appearance’s sake, and he dislikes the feeling of "stuff" on his head (circlet and celestial trauma). He does bust out the glasses if he just needs to read something real quick.

We also pointed out in the DMs that with Wukong having Gold Vision, Macaque having his Six Ears, and MK being the Worst Liar Ever, the monkeys accidentally form;

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil;

Divine monkeys be anti-scamming measurements.

[fanofthelamb]

lovely art you make please never stop!!!

WAAA TOO SWEET. thats it. MOREEEEEEE ART DUMP!!!!!!!! im not sure how many of these i posted but!! i think mostly it's all new!!!!!!!

I wonder if this'll become a thing for me. BAHAHAH

scrapped ref page i've made before ^^^^^ it was similar to nari's except it turns out the red's color jitter was too extreme.... the grren was AMAZING tho. Comments with the pieces btw!! and 30+ pics I think?! So expect a long ass post. :) this isn't even all the unposted art, just the stuff I thought was good enough to post!

First thing's first! How about a comic I never posted? I was kinda embarrassed by the writing of it, but this WAS just something to help Rue. (You might notice a lot of the art in this thread was sent to Rue and never posted. Sorry Rue. little of this is new for you. sone is tho. orzzzzz)

Woah? The lamb has feelings? The lamb has bad feelings about their past?? Who knew. Shocker. (also LMFAO AT NARI IN THIS HE REALLY SAID "oh ur crying? I'll give you a reason to cry")

something to kind of help storyboard out the animation i'm tryna work on. its not going well. turns out that shit is hard.

and some beyond the grove narinder. yall eat BTG nari UPPPPPP.

speaking of BTG? how about some panels of a future page? Chapter 1 still. feel free to laugh at how strangely i draw the draft. ti works for me!

back to normal nari. IN PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS isnt actually a drawing it's a real image taken of me and rue

i dont know if i posted this or not, actually. i am not a big fan of it, though.

i need to draw leshy and val more </3

idk if i posted kalladad either BAHAHAHAHA

also, i dont know if i posted THIS either. i dont SEE it but i could be wrong ?

now how about a couple of kissing booth scraps?

long with the scrapped comic where narinder kills and eats the face of the goat. </3 rip that thing (the goat LOVES fighting and LOVES someome who can beat thier ass almost as much)

and some heket bullying her brother (she wuvs him tho)

i dont know which acc i posted this to, actually. i drew this bc rick kept reposting halflife shit BAHAHAHH

oh and here's a vent piece or two i made with annona. they seem harmless enough to post i guess? i wish i made more content with them.

i jsut wanna chew them between my molars like a marshmallow.

this si also sometihng i made for rue BAHAHAHAHAH HAVE I POSTED IT? IDK.

and of course, the least toxic totally-not-abusive-as-fuck pairing of lamb and the red crown. this isnt exclusively BTG related but I dont know how much interest people would have with him being a character on FOTL? he is 1000% having his own role as his own charavter in BTG though.

oh, and this guy i wanted to post forever ago, but i needed time to adjust to his design. this is the best i have made of him and it might be what sticks. he's leshy's uncle. (took worm baby in after both his siblings went missing)

more nari, because he's my most popular scrumplie. probably bc i draw him the most and a lot of my stuff is nari centric. nude nari because i literally couldn't think up what i wanted to draw on him. i was gonna edit clothes on later and forgor BAHAHAHA

i actually dont know if i posted this too? this is tyar and baal <3 baal was pretty shocked to have learned vitas was tyar's spouse. he's still not ready to talk about it, but he does want to ask the lamb about it one day.

and some childhood memories i never finished.

i MIGHT have posted this one ?

i posted pieces of this page but here's the full:

[thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls]

does a spin

hi lark i warned you

i love josh so much,, so have yet anohter poem about him,,,,,,,,,,,, symbolism 👍👍

yeah im just making stuff up now (WHEN ADELE COMES HOME AFTER MEETING JANETTE FOR THE FIRST TIME, SHE BRINGS HIM FLOWERS. I DONT KNOW WHY, BUT IT JSUT FITS EVEN THO SHE WOULDNT APOLOGISE, EVER, EVEN IN A ROUNDABOUT WAY LIKE THIS SO?? IMAGINE A UNIVERSE WHERE ADELE FEELS SLIGHTLY BAD ABOUT IT??? BUT KEEPS CHEATING??? or like, she doesnt want him to find out so its like,, lovebombing??? dont fucking know, whatever, SHE JUST GIVES HIM FLOWERS ONE TIME. OKAY? THANK YOU.). like, flatout making stuff up lmao. barely any of this poem is canon but its okay, its character-accurate (in my mind)

im so fucking normal about josh i swear, i SWEARRRRRR

---

You came home early today. The smile on your face is stretched thin, but you press a bouquet of yellow flowers into my hands. “What for?” I ask you. You don’t reply.

I put the flowers into a vase, place them on the dining table. ‘They’re beautiful,’ I think. I try to ignore the feeling that they wilt every single time I look at them.

You tell me, “Take them down, It's been weeks.” I feel bad for them. for their wilting and falling petals.

I take them and press them in between the pages of a book, leave it up on a shelf. The vase goes in the sink. You don’t notice its absence.

You find the petals inside the book by their yellow. “Why did you keep them?” I explain, “I felt bad for them, they didn’t deserve to be thrown out.” You laugh and toss them in the trash.

I rescue as many of the petals as I can, when you’re not looking. They’re dry and falling apart by now, but I hold them together as best I can. I put them in the back of my phone case.

You never really see me in the first place, so you never learn about my small act of defiance. They’re still pretty to me, even in their brokenness. My mind never lingers on why you brought them in the first place; an apology for something that I never knew about.

(I’m pouring them out into your (her) grave before long, wishing that it were enough to cover the crisp blue flowers.)

LIME WHEN. LIMEEEEE I’M. I CAN’T OUGHHHH

NO BUT YOU’RE RIGHT SHE WOULD BUY HIM FLOWERS. Since she stayed over at Janette’s- she would return home early OH MY GOD!!! LIME YOU GET THEM LIKE NOBODY ELSE FRFR ALSO THE LAST PART. SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS AUDGDJFHKS

like. the timeline. her getting the flowers-and then him pressing them in a book and putting them in his phone casesrjehdjsgdofhfhd LIMEEEE

[hes1an1asshole]

One time there was this fucking bitch, I was telling her about this guy I liked and how he was coming to the library today she was like "I'm so excited to meet him" and I was like "me too", I was kinda worried they wouldn't get along but then they got alo g to well they started talking and I was so worries he would like her more, even if it was in a platonic way, at one point I left because I dunno that's usually my response when possible to anything, leave. He dragged me back by the wrist I think, I love him. After that she begged me for his number I refused, she went up to him in school and was asking him and he was like "oh Taylor has my number, you can jsut ask her" and she was slike "no I can't be-" and was gonna tell hum I refused to give it to him. Then later I joked that she's not allowed to talk to him anymore and I even out "/joking" so she knew, amd then she was like " you can't do that, we really bonded you know" like...yeah...thanks for reminding me, I litterally said I wa smoking no need to get that upset girly

Later we're hanging out at the library and litterally every time he comes she runs and hugs him, which to be fair she does to everyone but he rarely hugged me so thst fucking...nvm...but yeah we were playing dnd together and he had was sitting on her side a lot while they were trying to make her character and he kept getting really stressed out because she kept leaving all the time, and we were like an hour in haven't made her character yet, and then she fuckung hugged him and he was like "" thank you" and im like " fucking asshoke" were at the library another time amd I kept leaving because I wa upset for some reason probably because of Charlie doing stuff with my bf and I knew I couldn't stop from crying so I felt really bad but I had to keep leaving, because I couldn't let him see me break down and cry but I and to keep leaving to ball my eyes out Erica*librarian* said they were looking for me but then i come back and she's touching him on the face, probably wiping his tears cuz he got frustrated like the little bish she is, one time she was upset for some reason and attitude wanted to hug her and she was like "no, I don't want to, hug your gf" and he was like " I don't want to". He also says stuff like "go" or " leave"

I'm pretty sure he's joking but it hurts, I wish I could tell him it hurts, but I don't want him to know it hurts, I'm pretty sure he's never seen me cry, he's seen me panic, but not cry, because everytime I'm about to I'd run away

I was gonna write a song on chat got in how much I love him, and then u started brainstorming ideas, and then I wrote all this lol

Also no hate to my bf please, he doesn't mean it, I think-hope, it's my fault, I need to be more communicative about my needs rather than just letting this sit because I'm so scared of my fear turning into hate, and I think I've let it a few times, maybe, I can't rember, I was crying the whole time I wrote this,, it's way to late rn but maybe tmmrw if we call or maybe I could text him say " remember how you'd tell me to leave during school a lot lol" and then he'd probably say smthin like "....yeah what about it?" And I'd say ".. could you maybe not do that next year" and u know it's way to late for me to be making any promises because I know once I wrote birthday cards for him at like 3 am and expected my non- 3 am sled to give it to him

[deadgrantaires]

can i please catch a break can i PLEASE catch a break

called dentist again after they rescheduled me and the person i spoke to "simply couldnt answer my questions" since it was her FIRST DAY I GUESS ( AND NOBODY WAS HELPING HER???) regaurding some weird surcharges they said i deifntely had to pay. so called back a while later so idk. she can get trained i guess. was told yep defintielly have to pay for PPE myself. WHAT??? tell her um thats odd ive never had a dentist charge me that before and she gets a tone and is like "WELL have u gone to the dentists since covid?" and im like yes.... the as frequently as my insur4nce allows and this IS weird to me. try asking if its necessary and shes running around not answering "idk whay i have to pay for the dentists medical supplies" "its for YOUR safety not the doctors" -> endless dodging the questions. ask her how much its supposed to cost. she says 'WELL IDK i dont work the office its dependant on yr insu.rance' 'okay.... can u run my insu.rance then' 'NO I CANT thats not my j0b i cant access that' 'okay can u transfer me to soemone who can' 'nobody else is in the office u have to call back ether ____day or ____day between X hours' 'okay well i wish someone had given me this information last time i called instead of jsut saying i can call back anytime' 'I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHAT HAPPENED it just happened' 'okay ye im telling u about..... a problem... that is happening in Your offi.ce.... so idk... maybe u can fix it.... anyway i guess ill jsut... take this info moving forward and call back [first day she mentioned]' 'YOU CANT CALL THAT DAY were closed then' 'you literally jsut told me to call then. but fine. ill call [other day she mentioned] i guess. thanks bye')

this was after they apparently scheduled me for when the doctor was KNOWN to be out of town and i had to then reschedule. got condescendedly spoken down about it by this cunt today too about how the doctor HAD to go and she already had this time booked out so they CANT JSUT reschedule for ONE patient and i go yeah cool. so if u knew about it why the fuck did i get scheduled then IN THE FIRST PLACE

insane world. anyway god knows when/if ill get answers about all this bullshit surcharges theyre trying to give me and i migth jsut have to go with a different dentist whos off.ice staff isnt full of incompetent condescending morons. yknow. again

[thedogsleg]

IM GOI G INSANEEEE i love wearing toshirts but i also like fucking "love" scratching the same spot on my arm when stressed out and mann mannn it leaves a mark and every one askes "whya did you do to your arm?" "what happend to you arm?" i do not wanna be asked about it i wish i could just fucking go about my day without. okay jsut in henrel people not asking about my body. I get i dress poorly but i try to keep clean then everyone arou d me worrys about their aplearance and i know i look bad then i worry because it makes them look bad, i try not to care about me but they lie they say "its okay you dress like that" but even if you or i wanted i could never wear outfits (as apose to clothing, outfits specifically is an ensamble of clothes, typically planned imo) on a consistent basis. I tried once I wasnt in all days of the wek and hey guess what i just made it 5 months and never fucking ever did that again

snowball but like this is my own private domicile bitch. im clean and i dont smell stop fucking looking at my ugly coat and my fucked up arm skin the coat is WARM and COMFY and a man blessed my friend in public while i was stood behind her and ive felt sick since to i have to oull my skin off of my ARM.

[peachyproserpina]

its literally a rant that i need to post somewhere so im not blowing up peoples DMs with this bullshit please scroll past.

I wish I could just exist and have it not be exhausting or exist in a way that I don't have to cope in such an unhealthy way. fuckin tiktok has been nothing but like AuDHD and like slf help shit and its making me realize im older then i ever thought id get to. a whole fuckin 12 years after the fact and my healing is up to me and just UGH. its alot. im also having a whole thing about being stuck working and never able to fully enjoy myself due to the crush weight of being in the US and im gonna try to put myself out there this weekend at the bars / parties im going to have to deal with the constant self rejection and the recjection from others and im not like SUPER ready for that again. I jsut think about the dude who told me I was coming on too strong for asking him out, then as my friend is cursing him out he fucking asked her out infront of me. That sounds so dumb and middle school but i just havent been able to stop thinking about it. He saw me too.

I don't register as a person to so many people here. I hate it. no its obviously a me thing. if i wasnt so fucked up and fat people would like me. I know I have been talking about this and myself all day and im sick of thinking about myself but i cant stop. and legit ive just been crying all day because like im responible for my own healing even though i wasn't responsible for getting hurt in the first place and i just hate it. I also know I need to take steps to really take care of myself and better myself so I can be a good partner and a good parent but shits hard. and the worst part is i know im so exhausting and all i do is complain about my situation like im not the one responsible for gettting myself into it. and all i do is bitch and whine but take not action and i hate it so i cant imagine how yall feel. I just I don't know. It's this constant battle of "I have to change the way I think about myself because this isn't healthy" and "this is litterally who you are" and im so exhausted all the time. ive burnt out my FAWN response and I just don't feel like I've been giving those around the love and attentiveness they deserve from me and I hate that most of all I think. It's so hard to actively listen and i used to be able to be so engaged and attentive and I don't know what happened other then getting exhausted. Everyone deserves so much more from me but I can't give it. And I really just feel like all I do is talk about myself and my issues and i hate it. I also just became socially aware earlier this year and my whole childhood has changed. I was so used to people abusing/beating/yelling at me or directly telling me that they don't like me as I was growing up that all those little like bullying behaviors and like things never clicked in my mind that they were malicious until this year. I know it doesn't matter and it shouldn't impact me as much as it does specially considering this shit was like 20 years ago but I dont know. I grew up believing people liked me and now I'm finding out that people didn't actually like me. It's just jarring and it;s so dumb. Plus its been feeding back into my life now. I am so painfully socially aware of myself that I don't want to leave the house.

I dont want to meet new people because they are just going be mean and cruel to me and I wont know it. And again ignorance is bliss and like i wish i still was unaware. and i know this has just got to be some kind of mental health issue. Its anxeity or something making me feel like this and like I know i shouldn't care what others think of me. But I also want to just like... date and go out and have fun and whatnot. I feel like in order to do that you have to care about what people think of you in some capacity. I don't know. life is hard. this is too hard. I'm not gonna find someone to have a family with and im pretty sure im infertile so i cant have kids anyway. so like whats the point. Might as well waste my life away on the internet and just..... be that old office lady who never had kids or got married. and shes great at work, so kind and nice, and it just makes you sit there and think 'what is wrong with her.' like there has to be something so broken and fucked up with her that she can keep a job for 30 years but no one wants to live with her. thats who I am. I'm not ready to accept that fate because I dont WANT to be that person but I am. I might as well try to fuck around and get some dating in before it's too late for me. this was stupid. I shouldn't post it but im going to. in some fucked up hope that this will fix me. When the only thing that would fix me is losing 200 pounds and getting some normal fuckin hobbies.

[hirokiyuu]

actually i changed my mind i'm doing liner notes while fic is stlil fresh in my brain

i wanted so so badly to title this "how could i ever be so dumb to believe i'd be the one you would adore" but it was too long. heartbreaking. this would still have been such a baller title. i did consider "the one you would adore" but i think the title i settled on was better lol

i also wanted to use smth from no love in february which is also pretty dyssol for this exact scenario u kno. wnating sol to have reached out to him and hten not getting it <3 "where were you when i needed to hear you say / turn around i'm right behind you!" all that shit its soooo good for htem tbh

originally sym emerged "from the shadows of the forest" and my beta was like "there's no forest this is the ridges, the whole point is there's no forest" and i had to pull up the literal in-game text that has him emerging, quote, "from the shadows of the forest." they were so angry it was immesnely funny. i did cut it tho bc it's technically inconsistent w/worldbuilding LMFAO

i kind of wish it'd come up more but part of this sol is characterized by being unaugmented. real fucked up that people just give u extra kudos for not being augmented lmfao i do think abt that as the perk a lot

this sol's also super poly. i wanna go into this in another ficlet maybe but she was genuinely really vibing with dys's crush on sym from the start (which is part of the reason he was confused abt whether or not she liked him, lol)

originally this run was gonna be ot3 but i fucked up the timing of sym's last event but honestly? ive mentioned this before but hinge poly sol/dys/sym? does vibe. tfw ur boyfriend is clearly in love w/ur girlfriend who shes not dating also and u jsut ahve to deal w/that

a lot of the convo ended up rearranged from canon to better flow, and some stuff got cut. im still SO sad i couldnt work in dys droppign his entire dinner in the fire thats like one of my favorite parts. dyssol is best when they are both STupid <3

also sad in retrospect i had to cut the whole "where were you" but again it did not fit. i just wanted them yelling stupidly at each other tbh LAKHSGLKAHSLDKG

so i wrote this entire fic out of order starting with "you absolute spacehead, i am in love with you" which means when i wrote the part where sym cuts in my beta, who never got this scene, went SYM WAS JUST THERE? and i was like. yeah. thats canon btw thats part of the canon scene. and they lost it

"i am so stupid into you, i love you more than anything or anyone in this whole dumb universe" as a dramatic love confession is fun i think. simultaneously very like...... desperate and aching and also kind of stupid u kno. very nineteen of her. one of my fave lines from this in general tbh

the funniest possible note from my beta on the middle of the kiss

"i want all those kids tammy and i picked out dumb names for when we were nine" is another personal fave lmfao. again. dumb teens trying to talk abt the future and what they want

it was really important to me that sol didn't look pretty while she was crying. snotty + wet-faced and kind of ugly about it u kno. dyssol are a little gross and they love each other about it! it's aprt of the love

ive always thought abt dys not having anyone to find him on the spaceship (if hes not sols childhood friend) and connecting that to him disappearing on the ridges. the vibes. impeccable. of course he goes home with sol then if they ask, it's the first time anyones come looking. god. (thinking abt dyssol) GOD

dys: hey does anyone think its weird youer both just dating me now. no? just me? okay

i mean obviously the polyam negotiations DO come but again. this sol+sym in general are both just like. sweet more people to love dys

i didnt tag this as marz+dys or utopia+dys but it is immensely importnat to me that he has multiple people who love and worry and care for him. marz fucks up a lot as kids but i like how if u try to bully dys in her 10 shes like :/ no you moron im trying to KEEP him from dying :////

"clinging like he's five years old" This One Was On Purpose

originally at the end there was a joke sol made abt jumping him but it didn't fit tonally. i do think its immensely funny conceptually still tho

WOW THESE GOT LONG LMFAO anyways i lvoe ridgefic the whole ridge confession really did smth to my brain. enjoy the fruits of my disease

[hmspogue]

Outer Banks season 2 Official Trailer shot-by-shot rundown

A comprehensive post where I scream about analyze the entire trailer frame by frame for clues, theories, and plot. Just my own opinions and general tin foil-hatting

These are screenshots from Netflix’s trailer for Outer Banks season 2. I do not claim or own any of these.

note: this post is tagged as a long post if you wish to avoid having to scroll until your thumbs break.

“My old man used to tell me, ‘it’s best to never say you’ve hit rock bottom’.”

(Putting all of these shots together since they’re scenes we already know but-) Holy shit, okay let’s just....start off like this I guess, damn.

“'Trust me’, he said...”

Kiara looking back and forth between the boys like this really just feeds the headcanon I have that her form of grief this season is going to be her trying to hold it together for their sakes (and eventually just snapping).

JJ just looks fucking furious someone give these kids a hug? I already know this scene is going to ruin me.

“You can always go...”

JJ back working at the hotel. He looks literally so angry again in this scene I could see him self destructing at work and losing his job? (Please do not be isolating yourself you beautiful son of a bitch even though I know you’re going to).

Pope in the Twinkie (costuming wise they all are in warmer looking clothes for some of the shots, so just confirming it’s a little bit into the school year when this all takes place).

“Lower”

Big John was real big into pep talks, I see. (seriously can you imagine Big John having this conversation with like 8 year old John B after he fucking dropped his ice cream cone or some shit I shouldn’t be laughing).

I’m just-

These poor kids, I wanna know how the police all the way down in the Bahama’s knew about them?

Their calves....

“RUN!”

Are going to be so fucking jacked by the end of this season I stg.

Fuck you.

“The gold from the Royal Merchant....it’s here.”

For a while, I had thought that maybe they didn’t even make it to the Bahama’s at the front of the season and ended there (because everyone had been filming in there). But I guess they’re going to be making two trips.

If I were a bird from this POV I’d shit right on that house no questions asked.

oooooh ho hokay. Just so we’re clear. Ward Cameron not only get away with murder and about two dozen other felonies, but-

“Half a billion.”

HE STILL FINDS THE GOLD IN THE CRAIN HOUSE AND GETS TO KEEP IT?

Not the polo with the snap back, I just know this man has a playlist called Sad Boi Hours that is just Juice WRLD’s top 5 songs on Spotify and he tells his friends they wouldn’t know the underground artists he listens to.

Sh, you have lost screaming privileges. Go inside and take a nap maybe.

“John B, we are fugitives in a foreign country.”

So, previously, I was talking about how I was confused how they would still be trying to find him is everyone thought he was dead, but here the wanted poster clearly says “presumed lost at sea”. I think that will be interesting to see how the Pogues all interpret that. 

Especially because they already had a memorial for John B and everything, I wonder if there will be any part of the Pogues holding out hope that they both could still be out there OUCH.

I’m going to circle back to this, but it looks like John B and Sarah are going to get separated for a little while in this man hunt, I could see my idiot himbo son trying to sacrifice himself so Sarah can get away but in reality just....stranding her.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid?”

Oh, sweetie....

“Well, Sarah Cameron, I do stupid things all the time without realizing it.”

The volume of his self awareness is astronomical. sir, that is your whole character summed up in your own words.

GOD, IT’S ME AGAIN. PLEASE LET THEM LEAN INTO COMPLETE HIMBO JOHN B THIS SEASON I’LL DO ANYTHING-

nyyooooOOOOOOOOOOOOM-

“Hold on!”

The complete abject terror I would feel having John Booker Routledge driving get-away and then saying the words “Hold on” while reaching fro the gear shift? The english language fails me. 

Sarah, bestie, I’m so sorry.

I just wanna know-

what the plan or objective was in this situation. What was the reason for being this dramatic.

Rest in piss, bozo <3

“Ward’s still out there...”

Okay, same conversation they were having as before. I wonder what makes them decide they need to get back to the OBX for this tho.

“I can clear my name. This can all be over in one shot.”

It looks like Topper watching this but way more concerningly, correct me if I’m wrong but this 100% looks like....John B gets caught. And the DEATH PENALTY?! He did have a mug shot for the fliers in s1 and the one above but he was never brought in? Plus he just looks super dirty and dishevled in this one so I-

Jail break anyone?

I also still want to know if they’re going to go with a Topper redemption arc this season. like, does he know more than he should just from being around Rafe and his big fat mouth? Is he going to help out the Pogues even if it’s just for Sarah?

This shot just suddenly made me really sad. The thought of this all started because Big John left one last thing for his son to find, his literal life’s work. And when it all started, it was just a fun adventure John B and his best friends were going on together and having fun with. Then it all got dragged to absolute shit and turned into what it did, including the remaining 3 Pogues thinking that this treasure hunt took their two best friends away from them. And it’s nothing like Big John intended it to be.

Why my eyes wet?

Now we’re edging into what I was talking about earlier with John B and Sarah getting separated.

“If you think there is anything I wouldn’t do...”

Once again, John B is no where to be found. Also, just in case y’all didn’t already know or forgot Ward is an actual psychopath.

I believe this one of the new character, played by Jontavious Johnson (Stubbs). Based on the voice over it lowkey sounds like they’re implying Ward maybe hired Stubbs and Cleo to find and bring Sarah back. My theory would be I bet they do go to retrieve her, but she somehow convinces them that it would be more beneficial for them in the end to be on the Pogue’s side instead.

Miss Girl you gotta be keeping your head on a SWIVEL. Especially when you’re a FUGITIVE of the LAW-

“...you haven’t been paying attention.”

My guy, who are you clarifying this for?

It’s what you deserve for monologuing.

in all seriousness, the idea of them coming to face to face with Ward in Nassau after thinking they finally escaped him is genuinely terrifying.

“SARAH!”

It kind of looks like they’re either hiding their faces or covering their noses? I don’t know maybe it was from some tactic to get away from Ward.

What did I literally jsut say about yelling privileges, you unhinged mother fucker?

“I’m calling the shots now. I’m driving.”

The following progression of scenes made me actually snort-

“I can’t drive stick.”

PLEASE THE FINGER GUNS LAUNCHED ME INTO ORBIT I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.

Alright, so now it looks like we’re in Charleston. This is the same scene with Heyward’s truck that got leaked from BTS (read: JJ and Kie shoulder touch).

One of the main things that stuck out to me in the following scenes which, you will see, is it lowkey looks like Pope is kind of heading up this part of the operation, or even going in alone? The following clips are just very Pope focused. 

I don’t know what it means, it’s just an observation.

“John B was not the only one that Ward double-crossed.”

LIMBRY-

Bro, we have been hearing about this woman for literal months and I just have....so many questions? 

Who the hell is she? How is she connected to Ward? Why is she in South Carolina instead of the OBX? How do the Pogues even learn about her and how to track her down? How is she meant to “help” them? GAH I JUST WANNA KNOOOW. I already know I don’t trust her though and no I will not be offering up supporting evidence.

Sir, that is my son please unhand him.

“I think you know what I want.”

.......no? But feel....free to explain yourself?

The print on the paper is the same one that’s on the ceiling tiles in the following scene. Obviously, with a key on it that most likely goes to the place a few shots from now.

Hell yeah, son, let’s get SLEUTHING.

“The treasure belongs to the Pogues.”

DAMN STRAIGHT.

Bestie’s I’m not going to lie, I stared at this frame for a solid 10 minuets and I have no idea what it says on there I’m sorry. Someone in the comments is welcome to enlighten us.

“We gotta find it first.”

I can’t tell if that’s just dirt or if he hurt his head? But he look GOOD right now for one thing. For another, same outfit as the one in the Twinkie from the beginning of the trailer.

Look at her. LooK AT HER! LOOK! AT! HER! I MISSED HER SO MUCH even in that damn smiley face top that continues to haunt my waking hours she is in it so much and it stresses me out for literally no good reason I’m sorry-

I could literally cry right now and I think that speaks volumes to how little we actually see him genuinely happy. Have I mentioned how much I love that red hat?

Also, probably not that important, but this is not from the same scene as the shots of Pope and Kiara were. This is from the next one-

“Woogity-woogity?”

“Give me some woogity, baby!”

Yeah, this pushed me over the fucking edge, the way that they’re actually happy and laughing? The fact that they kept woogity-woogity and made it A Thing? Yes.

I am, however, going to be intentionally ignoring what appears to be the very intentional stagingof having such an obvious space between where Kiara and Pope are sitting adn where JJ sits, even including the level they’re sitting on because I don’t have the emotional capacity to face those implications right now. Thank you for your time.

Yes yeeeeEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

GIVE ME ALL OF THE SCENES OF THEM ACTUALLY GETTING TO BE TEENAGERS AND JUST BREATHE AND LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME AND NOT BE RUNNING FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

before Rafe comes in and literally starts shooting because they can’t breathe for more than 7 seconds but we’ll....get to that.

They refer to Sarah as a Pogue this season or I burn Netflix to the ground. Your move, Jonas.

50 bucks says John B is driving the Twinkie again for the first time since being back.

I deadass think the Pogues JUST got Sarah and John B back and they’re just having the time of their life. Kie was in her smiley face outfit when Pope was in this one a few clips ago, and I still hold to the belief that that one still they released of JJ and Kie hopping over a fence is the Pogue reunion so-

Ward? I have no idea what he’s looking at behind the wall paper and I’ll be so honest I don’t care my eyes are only seeing Pogue content right now.

“This is a map of the whole island.”

This fit, when will John B learn how to operate buttons, stay tuned for season 5. Also my previous theory of this being their reunion outfits and stuff because Pope is in the back in the same jacket as before.

The plot thickens and so has JJ’s hair, Rudy drop the shampoo brand.

Please, dear God, tell me they’re back in the sex church. For @jiaaraa sake.

Kiara, your Madison is showing.

Okay, I really did try but all I can make out is Something to the tomb begin something something.

You’re welcome.

I am no expert but I do not believe boats operate on land.

John B looks like he is in the same outfit here that is in his mug shot we saw on the TV screen so I have a sneaking suspicion this is where he gets caught. 

“John B is back-”

Once again with the damn sexual tension that’s always between Barry and Rafe in every scene they do are we about to kiss right now?

“-it’s him or me.”

First of all, no.

Second of all, I’m just....so very confused about this time line this season. It kind of looks like Ward and Rafe follow and find Sarah and John B in Nassau (unless those scenes by the truck were actually back in the OBX). So did they....go to Nassau, then just come right back when they did? I’m just confused.

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.

Literally when will you stop at this point I am begging you. 

This looks like the same scene the Pogues were, ya know, literally just having a good time at so fuck me, I guess.

Yeah, no, it’s going to be a no from me, I’m just going to pretend like I’m not seeing this and moving on.

I have simply no idea what is going on here or who that is on the bike but maybe JJ? Maybe Luke even? I think that’s JJ’s bike. 

The sewer scene. The SEWER SCENE-

For months sicne that tiktok leaked this damn scene has been genuinely all I could think about. So (obviously) it seems like they’re sending Kie down into the sewer to go do seomthing and things go horribly, horribly wrong. 

If you haven’t seen the tiktok, essentially all it was was JJ and Pope screaming and trying to lift up the man hole cover while Kie is begging for them to hurry from inside. I’m cheating a little bit as this isn’t a shot from the trailer but this picture was posted and it’s from the same scene.

I’ll just....leave this here. Back to the trailer shots.

Nice. Also, same shirt as mugshot.

Hey, um, what? 

Kiara’s car, she’s driving, I can’t tell who’s in the back seat or the front.

Holy God what is going on and how can I as an audience member put a stop to it?

So, same scene as we will see and was in the teaser but, for some reason, they’re all jumping off of a giant ass boat into the little life raft where it looks like JJ gets hurt later but don’t you worry we’re getting to that.

JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE THEY BOTH LOOK SO DAMN GOOD AND THEIR LITTLE SMILES SPARE ME-

Cleo 🥵

I’m so excited to see her arc and what it brings this season you guys have no idea.

Please for the love of God be about to get Ward Cameron’s ass like he deserves literally punt him into jail right from Tanny Hill.

Sarah at My Druther’s with what looks like a bloody bandage on her side? Same outfit she’s wearing when they’re running from the police on the beach and she has the bandage there too so. Interesting. 

Topper hugging who I’m pretty sure is Sarah, being a general douche because he’s clearly looking at John B like 😏 

Clips like these serve to remind me just how many of my worldly posessions I would gladly give up to be able to punch Topper Thorton in the throat one time. 

I think this is Cleo jumping off the boat with Pope after John B and Sarah. 

Absolutely busting a lung at Pope’s form in this one.

John B and Sarah waiting in the life raft, still Cleo and Pope coming after them. The obvious next question is where are JJ and Kiara. The scene I’m sure you all have been waiting for is coming up and clearly takes place in the life raft as well.

So, I really think JJ and Kie get left for last, something horrible happens as they’re trying to jump (my head instantly goes to JJ maybe like pushing Kie out of the way and getting hit on the head instead or even just some accident). 

And, oh my GOD a scene of him falling off the boat after it happens and Kiara diving in after him immediately, having to desperatly try to stop him from sinkingand get to the life raft holy shit-

Girl CATCH HIM?????

Because why wouldn’t this be Rafe’s fault. Part of me wonders if this isn’t related to JJ being hurt.

I am going to try and unpack this as calmly as possible because behind my computer screen I am vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass but respectfully.

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS TIAUEWFHLAILA

Okay, so scene wise, JJ’s hit his head somehow (probably while he was jumping with Kiara) it looks like and now they’re back on the raft. 

In my opinion, this is either:

A) JJ is in really, really bad condition after getting hurt in the jump and they’re not sure he’s going to make it. So this is a “Please stay with me, stay awake, please don’t die” hug OR

B) They very narrowly just avoided a deadly situation (my first thought is JJ hits his head while jumping, passes out in the water, maybe almost drowns but Kie and the others get him onto the life raft in time) and this is more of a “Oh my God, you’re okay, you’re safe now, we’re okay” hug. 

I honestly lean more to the second one based on the little bit of Sarah’s face we saw in the background. To me, it almost looked like she was smiling thru tears, which, fits way more with the second option than the first. 

Anyways. Moving on before I burst a lung again.

(also, before anyone comes at me, no, I’m not happy JJ is hurt, obviously.  

(Once again, arrest outfits). You can still see the bandage but it looks like Sarah’s limping now too so...good Lord give the girl a break maybe?

Everything in this trailer just went to shit so fast I think I have whip lash, can we go back to the Pogues hanging out and being happy now pkease I liked those scenes.

“I get it. You guys are scared.”

“No.”

She’s cute but, uh, hello sewer scene outfits. Seems like them planning to do whatever the hell they were going to do in the sewers but the boys are starting to get cold feet as maybe they should but hind sight is 20/20 I suppose.

“It’s kind of cute.”

“I’m not scared.”

“You should’ve just led with that.”

I will never be able to express how much I adore Pogue banter and general dumbassery and I have a feeling this season will not be lacking in either department

I high key don’t think these two are actually going to be there for this scene to go down but I’ll let it slide this time because-

They do be kinda cute.

It both feels like I’ve been waiting for this damn show for 3 years and also like I just watched season 1 last month explain that to me. 

Either way holy shit. I missed this dumb show and these dumb kids so much it physcially hurts and WE GET THEM BACK IN T-MINUS 16 DAYS.

Also. Where The Hell Is Wheezie Cameron And When Will She Have The Rights She Deserves.

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Tour without You

Summary: fans saw the video of cal singing ghost of you and people think you two broke up.

a/n: SO YALL KNOW WHICH VIDEO I'M TALKING ABOUT RIGHT? Idk if he was actually crying, but a part of me tells me he was, but idk who knows, but i hope he was okay and is doing okay now.

You were currently home watching duke at yours and cal’s place. You couldn't go on tour with cal because of work, so being alone was a norm you had grown into. Whenever you didn't go on tour you and cal would spend time calling one another whenever a show was over, so he could see you and if you needed to comfort him for anything. He hated when he had to leave you alone, but you would reassure him you had someone that was a part of him. Duke would usually stay with the dog sitter, but when you stayed back home you watched duke. You two would have some quality time together as usual so the small pup can use his energy throughout the day.

For Cal though today, just wasn't his day. Their bus tour had taken a re-route, they got to the venue late, he couldn't focus during rehearsal since it was cut short, from them arriving late. Usually when stress came he was able to handle it well, but you usually were there to comfort him right there and then, which also added to his stress as well, not being able to be with you in moments like these. Fans in the audience and online had seen his expression and worried for him, especially when singing Ghost of you. He hated that his stress would reflect how he acts during shows, but today was really bad for him. Cal doesn't really notice when fans are recording, but a video had gone viral during the concert within minutes and fans skepulating about you and cal. You had no idea of this hence you not being near your phone all day and having a nice day out with duke. Your phone had been blasting all night and once you got home with duke you checked it once seeing all the notifications on all of your socials.You were slightly confused as to why there were so many so you checked it out.

@5SOSUPDATES: is it possible cal and y/n broke up? Could be because they haven been posting with one another. Also today’s performance he seemed sad, especially during Ghost of you.

“What the hell?” you said as the puppy barked at you as you continued to look for something that gave you some sort of idea that was going on. Then MTV also made a topic off of it.

SPECULATING BREAK UP RUMOURS: POPSTAR CALUM HOOD AND GIRLFRIEND Y/N L/N POSSIBLY BROKE UP BEFORE A SHOW DURING TOUR

You were quick to find the resources they were using to claim these speculations and there was a video of cal singing ghost of you, at first it was all good, he was singing good, you saw no sad emotions, but when it got to him harmonizing, with the ghost of you, that's when his expression changed. At first you thought that it was just the way he was singing. But you looked over and yeah you were convinced he was crying.

You tried to first go over anything you might have said to make him upset, but there was nothing, you texted when you could and he seemed fine the night before, so you didn't know what was wrong. Unless he lied to you, which he would do when he was away from you. He didn't want to bother you, but you always told him to talk to you when he was feeling down and not himself. You were always going to be there to talk to him always. Just then you got a call from mali, you were quick to answer as she probably has seen these as well.

“Mali, hey.” you said as she spoke, “hey super weried, but have you been on your socials and possibly MTV?” she asked as you sighed, “yes i have.” you said as she contuned, “okay, is it ture?? Did you two break up? Omg did cal do something because i swear-” she said as you giggled and cut her off, “no we didn't, well at least i think so, but uh, no i called him before this show and he seemed fine, but you know how he is, he doesn't tell the full truth until you get it out of him.” you said as she hummed, “thats true, well are you talking to him tonight?” she asked as you hummed back, “yeah i should be getting a call in about an hour, i dont think he has checked his phone yet, so i'll call you first thing alright?” you said as she hummed and you two said your goodbyes. As your phone was still blowing up, more and more rumours were being made, but you didn't expect to be getting attacked.

5SOSWILDFLOWER: Yall, there are some photos of y/n with another guy before cal had gone to tour, guess cal has a reason.

|

Caly/n_stan: i don't think she would cheat though, they've been together for years.

|

Lukehemmingsstan: i mean yeah but people change especially when dating a celeb, and it wouldn't be the first time a 5sos member would be cheated on.

|

@mikeycliff5sos: i mean you can tell she was just in it for the money and the fame, she never spoke about her job.

You were at first confused as to what pictures you were talking about, but then you clearly remember you were with the dog sitter, who happens to be a guy. He was one of Cal's best friends and he always took care of duke when you were away. You were there before cal had gone to tour, to tell him personally that you were staying with duke, since you knew him and it would be nice to catch up on duke’s behavior. Of course the fans didn't know that, but that didn't mean they should attack you. You were kinda stressed about this situation, especially with the things being said, fans even started to question your real intentions with cal and wondered if you were just after cal for his money and fame questioning your line of work as well, which wasnt public because you line of work was importnatn, you were a visual editor at entertainment company and well you kept it private and you didn't want any problems.

On cal’s side of things, he hadnt checked his phone at all wanting to handle one side of stress at a time. After teh show he realxed before calling you, making sure he looked good and fine. But once he lifted his phone he had seen so many notifications, at first he thought it was about the show from tonight but when he clicked he saw everything that was being said about you and him that you two had broken up and the means things being said about you. He was quick to call you as you answered quickly hoping he was okay.

“Hey” you both said quite rapidly, “sorry you go first.” cal said as you sighed and spoke, “are you okay? But i want to know the full truth cal, you know you can talk to me.” you said as he rubebd his head and wished he had spoken to you before anything, he knew if he talked to you hten these rumours wouldnt be made. “Fuck love, im sorry, we had to reroute the show for tonight we got there late, and rehearsal was rushed and, today i didn't do my best to hide my stressed emotions, i tried, but i couldnt, all i wnated to do was talk to you before the show, but i wasnt able to,” he said as his voice was cracking and you felt bad for him, you knew he handled stress well, but you knew today was one of those days, “bub its okay, just talk to me about this kind of stress to help you when you can, no matter what time it may be. I know im not htere, but remeber im a phone call away, always. No matter waht okay, you call me when youre feeling like this.” you said as he smiled a little missing you so much more than he should be able to.

“Youre too good for me you know that? Im sorry for waht the fans are saying, i'll straighten it out babe, they shouldnt be saying this stuff about you,” he said as you giggled, “its fine, it hurt at first, but i mean this all happend beucase i was out with dukes dogsitter,” you said as he laughed a little, “gosh the fans are really out of hand, i love you so much, youre there for me more than many times i could even count, you know youre it for me,” he said as you blushed hearing his words, he would tell you this all the time. It was true, you were it for him and he was it for you. “And youre it for me too, and i'll happily be there for you, always you know that.” you said as he smiled and jsut couldnt wait to get home to you. After talking for about 2 hours, you said your goodbyes and you had gone with the rest of your day as cal had straighten out with the fans about his citation.

He posted a picture on his story of you and captioned it:

To clear out the rumours from today, me and y/n are happily together. y/n has not and has never cheated on me, for those who know she is everything to me and i will do anything to not lose her. There is no anger towards this situation jsut please, be careful with what you say on the interent, even if y/n and i dont post about us everyday its not htat wer are not together, we like to live in the present with one another since i go away for tour. Usually shes here with me, but sadly she isnt. So again please just be aware with what you are posting, we are human and things that were said towards her will hurt anyone.

[fanofthelamb]

So I went dumpster diving in my tablet for the first lamb I ever drew and WOW... I found a lot of sketches I really don't plan on revisiting. I am jsut gonna dump them below the cut for people to see!! Some of it is lore related, some of it is shit I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE, but IDC!!! I will post it anyway for the tumblr users who I keep an eye on my notifs for. (yes, i see you guys. even if i dont always interact I see you and love you guys)

Anyway, here is the earliest drawin I have of me drawing the lamb!! I am going to write a comment under a lot of these to add context to them.

A cute little baby <3333 but I struggled a LOT of figuring out what the lamb was wearing, I eventually figured it out though. (I hope)

if you know, you know. (RIP VAL)

for my BTG AU. I decided I no longer wanted chemach to make the [spoiler] for the lamb, though, so I scrapped this

vaaaal,,,,,, i was still learning how to draw him, i wish i put pants on him but do those even exist in COTL? (yes)

I haven't been able to do much with them because I'm putting other stuff first, but Brear has two kids, Notre and Brejul who Narinder absolutely ADORES. he is the one who babysits.

fun fact but the lamb being touch repulsed is a projection LOL. i hate it when people touch me it feels so tickly and makes me want to bite their faces off. (but i am touch starved and i LOVE to show affection to other ppl, esp thru back rubs)

yes, they have a hoop for personal space. no, ill never use it.

drum corcl,,,, i love the little dancing guy that comes from the drums

more narinder and brear. they're not romantically interested in each other, but he is absolutely head over heels for brear, their brother, and the kids. they even call him dad sometimes.

[no context]

kallamar and leshy before their crowns. the scene i have related to this isn't happening anymore, but it was leshy begging to be taught to swim.

another "the one who baby sits" doodle. the bishops all came into the cult with a very good repuation thanks to narinder. he likes to tell the kids of the cult stories about how amazing his siblings were. at first, it was just to nobre and brejul with stories about leshy(he missed leshy a lot even though he was still mad at him, and the two reminded narinder of his time with leshy), but then it escalated into him hosting storytimes with larger groups after they started repeating some of the stories he'd tell them.

unfinsihed stuff about with the lamb and thier mom. their mom wasn't afraid of the bishops at all, but knew that they were a still a threat to her and her child's life. the lamb did NOT care for anyone thier mom didn't approve of/enthusiastically liked. they were much more afraid of the bishops than their mother.

i do not actually know if i posted this.i dont think so, but i giggle every time i scroll past it

brear and nobre <333

im still workong on BTG shit, and i post a little bit of the characters on here even tho the comics are going to be posted elsewhere. they have a "crownlike" beak, but a body part. there's different creatures who became gods through different ways; crowns are one way but their power is stuck with the crown and they are considered extremely weak compared to other gods. i wont blabber on about it tho.

so many sketches has random lines through em because i work with a tablet,,, i hate it. anyway, narinder and kallamar everybody!

sketches i made but didn't bother to finish of me and merbre,,,,,,,,, my husband #1 <3 them w/ narinder + merbre arent gonna be considered "canon" but damn it ill self-ship with them until i get a follower i can WORK with

i come back to this every few weeks and im never happy with it, i dont know if ill finish this but i think about them........ before the divorce </3

unused from an ask

heartstealer. menace. you can rip my heart out anytime, leshy <3

dreshy. he LOVES dresses and being pretty and cute and pretty. he sucks narinder into a lot and heket will sometimes join in if he demands asks her to <3

another unused drawing from an ask i'll eventually answer. (mildly offended at being called a mutton cube.)

.... aaand WOW! I think that's everything guys!! things are still kinda wild but they're calming down a little bit. idk how much longer it's gonna last like this but I have some energy so I made a way-too-long post showing off art I wasn't supposed to post! Awesome. :D

[lolita-lollipop]

Hey hey!! I saw your ask is open... I don't really have anything to ask but I've had this in my notes for a while so i hope you can make something out of it. You seem to enjoy writing yandere so... Write it to your liking i guess? Anyways thankies ;)

"You cry and cry and cry, begging to be let go and then you just stop. Your stop crying for help. No more hopeful hopes to be saved or to be rescued by your beloved hero. By your trusted lover.

You just... Accept your fate to die at the hand of your lovers' enemy but it never came. The enemy... he never kill you, heck he doesn't even let you have a scratch on your delicate skin.

As if he was in love but with who? You? Yeah maybe with you."

SOFT YANDERE BAKUGO X READER X POSSIBLY YANDERE (?) MIDORIA

*brief cursing from bakugo

Your fiancé, Izuku midoria, was always worried about your safety, as he was the number one hero, and he had, many, many enemies who would just love to crush the quirkless lover dating the number one hero. You’d known him since preschool, you and him were best friends, along with a Certain blonde boy, eventually, in high school, as third years, you’d started dating, and here we are now, ready to be newlyweds. He was especially protective when… he was involved.

Bakugo, well bakugo had a big falling out with the two of you after graduation, you’d been in the business course, always checking up on the two of them and the class, bakugo had to watch as you and the quirkless deku became closer and closer, whippee! They’re dating now! It made him sick to his stomach to see HIS girl get sucked up by some manipulative bitch claiming to be a hero.playing fair wasn’t an option anymore, he’d only gone to that stupid hero school for you, and you only, once you left, he had no obligation to stay good, he wanted you, he wanted to hold you, to cuddle you, to love you, if he had to break the rules of society, so be it.

You hadn’t seen bakugo in over two years now, only heard of all the bad things he’d done on the news, your fiancé didn’t speak of him, jsut told you to be extra careful everytime a new occurrence happened. You missed the best friend you had, you missed the man who would hold you close when you got scared of thunderstorms, you missed the man who bought you food that your mother never allowed you to eat, you missed the sweet, loving, bakugo. You wished you could see him one more time, just speak to him once more.

God how you wished you could take it back

You’d done nothing but walked home ten minutes late, Izuku had called you, and you had explained that the lind was long at the store, and a few teenagers had held you up for a little bit, calling you a multitude of names, you were just the quirkless loser lucky enough to score the number one hero, you wouldn’t tell izuku that of course, he would worry to much. Then you were snatched up, you didn’t know by who, or why, but you did know that your wrists were tied with a gentle silk, you were on some concrete ground, harsh against your backside, and peopel were talking above you.

“Really! Fucking concrete? I though it’s you would be able to get it through your muddy little brain tgat I wanted her comfortable! In my bed! What. In. Fucks. Name. Did. You. Do” a gravelly voice spoke above you, sounding fairly familiar. But still muffled, due to the things covering your ears and eyes, you waited for someone to come and hit you, or for some quirk to make you feel pain, yelling was never a good sight… ever.

“S-sir, this is what we do with all captives. It’s against our protocol to bring them into your personal chambers-“

“Damn the protocol, I started this whole thing, you listen to me either way. You put her down there with all those bodies, and weapons! Go in against my direct orders dwarves punishment, I’ll deal with you later. Get out” the voice continued to speak, uoj flinched at the footsteps gradually coming closer and close to you. Hoping that they already got whatever they wanted with you, probably just to scare your husband.

“Darling? Are you alright? I’m sorry they scared you, I’ll have her felt with soon enough, Cmon, let’s get you out of here” the voice once again spoke, much closer so you could hear it clearly, it sound so familiar, why is it so familiar? Then your facial covering was untied, just to reveal, the one and only katsuki bakugo. And you panicked. You thought you could handle being face to face with a villain, one wearing the face of your best friend, but oh no, oh god no you couldn’t.

A scream left your lips, piercing his ears like a dagger, you squirmed away, tugging at the fabric tied around your wrists, a full gallon of panic washed over you, making your breaths shallow, your movements desperate, and your screams curdling. You started sobbing, tears left your eyes in involuntary streams, he jus looked so… different, the spiky blonde hair now has black freaks in it, highlighting his Red eyes, he was wearing a dark black suit, and everything about him just screamed “villain”. It terrified you.

“Get back-DONT TOUCH ME! GET OFF OF ME” you screamed, kicking at his face when he tried to grab your arms to calm you down, he just wanted to help you? Almost immediately your face was shoved into the ground, he steadied you, untiring your wrists, you hoped for Izuku, for someone, anyone to come help you. You always had someone to come save you, sometimes it was even bakugo before he turned, now… now no one was going to come, there wasn’t any hope to give anymore, you are utterly helpless and at the hands of the man you were once close with.

You waited for anything. He released pressure on your face, and he released your wrists, which you’d flung into his face, but still, you were waiting for this “villain katsuki” to make an appearance, this was his revenge right? Taking you away from midoria, killing you, just to make a statement, you waited for that lasting to come out, the one who raided Tokyo for money, the one who killed thousands. Not your katsuki, but a villain. You’ve accepted it, he’s gonna kill you for no reason, you’re death will be meaningless, you just wished you didn’t have to go so suddenly. You waited to see him, to feel any pain, to die. Yet, it never came.

Your cries silenced, as you squeezed your eyes shut, waiting for th simp act of a billet in your Brain, or in your chest, or the slam of a baseball bat, or anything. If you stop crying, it’ll just be over quicker

“I’m not going to hurt you, I swear on it. Cmon? You knew me for 14 years! I would never, ever, hurt you, you’re way too precious to me for that” he grumbled, picking you up into his arms, which you could do nothing but cry into. This reminded you so much of those nights you would spend crying into his chest when you and Izuku hit a road bump j your relationship, when the two of you fought, bakugo was always there to soothe you, to snuggle with you, to rub your tummy and make you feel all the much better.

Maybe this was your katsuki, maybe he hadn’t changed at all, maybe this is just a dream! And you’re asleep in bed with izuku right now. No, Of course you aren’t, what idiot would think that?

“K-katsuki? Why? Why would you do all this? What do y-you even want with me?” You questioned, looking back up at him, meeting the eyes of your best friend, your katsuki. He smiled, a rare occurrence, stroking your hair out of your face, his touch was gentle, and warm as ever, he hadn’t seemed to cHange all that much, you know, from going firm a hero student to a supervillain. You missed this version of him, the soft bakugo that you only get to see when he’s with you, not the murderer, not the villain.

“I’m keeping you here because I’m in love, and I want to protect that love at all costs.” He lulled, giving you one of those excruciatingly sweet bakugo smiles, his mom had the same one, and his mom was the best. Wait… he’s in love? That’s why he bright you here? He wnTs his girlfriend to have a friend? Wow, so you’re gonna be a third wheel the whiel time, well that’s just wonderful. You wouldn’t take bakugo as the “in love” type, you really hoped his lover was nice, and you know, not a murderer.

“You did? With who? Can I meet them?” You questioned, suspiciously, if THE katsuki bakugo fell in love, it would have to be some amazing person. He has the highest of high standards, so any person to day him would have to be perfect, or he would be harsh, you’d witnessed it in person at multiple double dates where the girls would always run out crying.

“Oh y/n, too naive and innocent for her own good. I don’t fall in love with nobodies

I fell in love with you”

———————————————————————————————————

Tell me if you liked it! It was fun to write but I’m not sure how quality it is, as it’s 1:00 and my eyes are half dead.

Thank you for requesting! Have a wonderful day today! @wans-shit

[turtle-go-brrrr]

General bayverse headcanons part 2

Splinter

A very light sleeper

Anytime something happens in the lair, he knows

He knows so many of his son’s secrets but act as if he didn’t to protect their feelings

Like that one time he saw Leo flex in front of his mirror (he never did it again because ‘what if it was Raph or Mikey’)

Or that one time he went to ask Donnie a question and realized too late he was having some... alone time... and Donnie tried to play it off to save what was left of his dignity: “haha no I’m not doing anything, I’m fine, how can I help you?” but left a tab open

Let’s just say Splinter knows way more about his sons than he wish he did

He feels honored every time one of them, or hell, April or Casey, come to him for advice or just to vent

He’s jsut so happy to know they trust him

He loves watching movies with them

Doesn’t really understand pop culture but is thrilled when they take the time to explain it to him anyway

He keeps every single drawing Mikey ever made him, he has multiple boxes of them and he keeps his favorite in his room

It takes so much space, but they’re really important to him

Raph made him a really soft scarf that he wears every time they go to the surface (it reassures him)

He also has a sweater and a blanket, and he loves bragging about them: “Oh, this? Yes, my son made it for me :) Isn’t he talented :)”

He finds Donnie’s smarts both impressive and intimidating

Sometimes he’s scared he will never truly understand him or that he won’t have anything else to teach him

But then Donnie comes to him when he can’t sleep or had a nightmare, and he feels warm inside

He’s really scared for Leo

He has so much pressure on his shoulder and so many responsabilities, he’s terrified he will break someday

But Leo knows he can count on his family to support him if anything turns sour and is learning to open up (thanks to Splinter)

All in all, he’s the proudest dad there could be and definitely bragged and showed embarassing memories to April and Casey when they joined the mutants

His favorite animal is the canary

April

Mom Friend ™ 

She’s the one to bring them snacks or useless trinkets they might like

Leo thinks it’s stupid and they should hoard that kind of things

(he does anyway)

She’s also the one to bring medical supplies to the lair when they’re getting short on them

She knows many people because of her job, and comes so often to the pharmacy that the people who work her eknow her and know to not ask too many questions

She doesn’t care about the sight of blood but the smell makes her sick

She still follows Splinter’s instruction when doing stitches and she took a few first aid courses with Casey

She’s the one who takes care of the biggest bugs of the lair

She’s also the one they all go to when they have an embarrassing question to ask (the kind of stuff you’re too embarrassed to ask one of your parents, no matter how close you are)

Doesn’t really listen to anyone, really

Except maybe Splinter from time to time

But like, if she wants to investigate something messy or dangerous, she won’t let anyone stop her

She won’t run straight into danger, she’s not stupid, but she’s not gonna back off just because it might be dangerous

“Okay, April, I’m sorry but you’ll have to sit this one out, it’s way too dangerous for a hum-” “She’s already inside”

 She’s brave like that <3

The best at Just Dance

Even beat Raph from time to time

She has a terrible singing voice tho and loves to scream-sing just because she knows it drives Leo crazy

Sometimes will get picked up by one of the boys and just acts as if nothing hapened and keep talking about whatever the conversation was while being carried around everywhere

Speaks 3 other languages to varying degrees of fluentness: Spanish (fluent), French (still learning but she’s getting there), Arabic (beginner)

She knows insults in a lot of other languages tho (you know, just in case ;) )

The only one who doesn’t pull pranks on Casey (she takes pity on him and he gives her kisses when she takes his side so win-win)

Her favorite animal is the fox

Casey

Pray for him

He’s so fed up with their sibling nonsense

He’s always in the middle of their fights and he’s tired of this

But he’s even more tired of being the victim of their endless pranks (especially Raph and Mikey)

The payback is worth it tho

Surprisingly good with kids

Especially troubled kids (he used to be one, so he knows what to say to help them)

Also really found of small animals

Unlike Mikey who talks to them as equals, Casey baby talks and it’s both adorable and kind of silly

He’s well known in most of the rescue centers of the city because he always brings in stray animals here

Also volunteer in some of them from time to time

He’s really conflicted because of all of the horrible things othe cops do  and he often wants to quit because of that

But if he leaves, he knows no one will try to make a change

He believes he can make things right and tries his best to callout his collegues when they say or do fucked up things

Also completely understand all the hate against cops, and don’t hesitate to let everyone know it’s justified when his colleagues try to play the victim

Despite his anger issues he tries to keep a level head when on the job

He wants to be a good cop, but being a good person is even more important (and almost got him fired multiple times, the only thing keeping him from that being his connection to Chief Vincent)

This is why he’s also doing his vigilante stuff at night

He knows that sometimes, the law won’t protect the most vulnerable people

But that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t

Once accidentally cut himself on the left with a piece of glass

He broke a glass jar, cleaned it up but forgot one little piece, and later stepped on it

It didn’t cut his foot, but he felt something under it and tried to get it off by rubbing his foot against his leg

Hence the stupid cut

Most of his scars aren’t really from his numerous fights, they’re just stupid injuries like that

His favorite animal is the cheetah

[pinkseas]

hi aly!!!! 45, 47 &51 for the ask game? (fun fact 51 is my go to getting to know someone question to break the ice etc so imagine my joy when i saw it on the ask game dajkslsfda)

HI SOAP :DD <33

45. Is there a song you love but you wish it was sung by someone else?

um. um. um. um. this is so fucking bad but Most Taylor Swift Songs. ITS NOT HER FAULT i look at the lyrics and im like god this is incredible but i can NEVER listen bc i have really bad connotations with her crying emoji. ive been trying to get rid of it bc its annoying and her music slaps but so far i have Failed

47. Do you like Amusement Park rides?

i think if i was less anxious id fucking LOVE them but as is not really? like i used to LOVE the teacups, rollercoasters, this one fucking casino themed ride where you spun a lot, the swings....... and then the Mental Illness kicked in and now im not really a fan of anything they just tend to freak me out a little bit

51. Have you ever stolen anything?

okay first of all this is SUCH a funny getting to know someone question. second of all once when i was 2 years old my parents handed me a tiny dustpan and broom in a store and i was in a stroller so come checkout they forgot about it and we walked out with it for free. and that is the only time i have ever stolen Anything im a HUGE pussy im way too nervous to actually commit thievery. NO I JSUT REMEMBERED AS I WAS TYPING IN THE TAGS OKAY. SO.

theres a reason i forgot that this happened. i was at a comicon with a friend. this friend was very good however i was ALSO in an extremely toxic friend group and one of them was a huge fan of stealing and highly encouraged it. i am in peak overwatch phase. dva is my EVERYTHING wildly hyperfixated on her. there are little blind bags with cute keychains in them for overwatch characters including a dva and a zenyatta hung up for display. theyre blind bags WHAT are the chances i could ever get dva. and hey its this huge stand they have plenty of money. as my friend is buying blind bags i Swipe The Dva. i dont even remember how but i managed. they definitely KNEW someone had stolen it and maybe even that it was me but they didnt say anything just made a vague comment. we walk away. my friend opens the blind bags. One Of Them Is Dva. i regret this moment for the rest of my life and never steal anything again.

[seostudios]

零 don’t cha

synopsis: who would’ve thought that dating you; the perfect it girl. would be this much trouble? definitely not nakamoto yuta as he decided to become someone more significant to you. was this your average fairy tale or was this a tragedy?

genre: fluff, angst pairings: yuta x fem!reader info: ceo!au, non-idol!au, ceo!yuta, ceo!model!music-producer!nct, rich!au, mentions of proclaimed death, cheating, brother!johnny, assistant!haechan!jungwoo wc: 6.8k

a/n: lol this is NOTHING LIKE WHAT U REQUESTED I’M SO SORRY..... i mean in the beginning it is but it just took a turn and i was writing whatever came to mind... like 2/3 of the story isn’t even a yuta x reader fic it’s jsut about everything else! i hate myself for doing u dirty but i hope u read this! it’s actually good (imo) since i worked awhile on it and it’s one of my longer fics. 

She was fierce, elegant, beautiful. An unmatched package for any walking figure. Her person, running a multi-millionaire business by herself. Doing it for who? Her and Suki; the fiery red betta fish, placed on her nightstand. Yuta was just like you. Although Yuta is fierce, charming and quick on his feet, he still manages to be just the opposite around you. Yuta is on the right path, growing his empire little by little. You started as an insufficient secretary for an Electric Power Corporation but, those late nights and overtime paid off as you are now the CEO of your own retail company. Yuta waltzed into your business while he was an errand boy for Moon Taeil, a good friend and business partner of yours. Taeil had been worried about his future and decided he would've let Yuta go under your wing for a couple of weeks.

That brings you here, September 2019. The vibrant hues of autumn settling into the busy streets of Seoul. "Good morning Ms. Seo." The receptionist, Chaewon, greeted with a bubbly smile like any other day. "Yuta is waiting for you in your office," She informed, watching your small strides turn into a jog towards the elevator. When you reached the top floor where your office and meeting rooms were located, "Did you receive John's fax? He told me your father wanted an opinion!" Haechan, your assistant, asked swiftly, sticking to your hip as you stepped out of the conveyor, pushing his glasses up. "Oh, can you tell him to print whatever he sent and meet me for lunch? I heard he's back in the city." He nodded before running back towards his cubicle to make the requested phone call. That's when you were finally able to enter the office. "So... The rumours are true, you did decide to visit." You grin like a Cheshire cat plastered onto your face, you made long strides beside Yuta, who was staring into the traffic abyss below you two. He hummed before turning over to you; "How is my favourite person doing today?" He asked cheerfully before inviting himself to sit on your chair. Dragging yourself yet again, towards Yuta. You stood in front of him before seating yourself on top of the desk. He watched as your posture slumped and brows knit with a childish frown displayed. "Not well," He decided to sit up in his seat, hands combing through his dirty blond locks. "John's back in town, I'm pretty sure he brought Gyunghui." You roll your eyes unknowingly at the mention of your elder brother's proclaimed girlfriend. "I mean, who gets married after dating for 6 months?!" You groan, disappointed in your brother's decisions. Yuta's eyes crinkled at the corners before he threw his head back in laughter. Was this the reason you were so upset? "Y/N they've been friends for 10 years, I think it's safe to say they'll be okay." He responded with a smile. Straightening up, you huff and look the other way, crossing your legs. "Ugh, Whatever..." You look back down at him, "How is Jin Nyun?" Yuta's face fell, 'Can't we go one conversation without mentioning her?' He pondered momentarily before looking up at you with a soft smile, "She's amazing. She went out of town for work," He sighed, "Again." Your brows furrowed for an instant. He seemed upset. Why wouldn't he be? You'd be furious if your lover set off on multiple business trips every week. That's when it hit you, "What is she again? Job?" You question. "She's a photographer." Now that's bullshit. You knew for a fact, she wasn't big enough in the industry to leave on trips on multiple occasions for a photoshoot. "Why?" He asked, and you couldn’t explain the sense of innocence you felt from him, so oblivious to the situation he's in. "N-Nothing just wondered." You stutter out. He observed you quietly but decided to leave it like that. Raising your wrist, you glance towards your watch, "It's nearing noon." You whisper, Yuta looks up, "Plans?" he questioned with a brow raised. You nod "Lunch with Johnny," Smiling you reminisce back to when you and Johnny ruled overtop Seoul, with two successful companies in powerful industries. "I'll walk you out then," Yuta chimed, jumping from his seat, bringing his hand out for you to hold. "Oh! What a gentleman." You giggle, watching his cheeks tint in a shade of red.

⋆

"You sure there isn't going on between you and Yuta?" Your brother asked playfully, watching as Yuta walked you towards the small cafe at the end of the street. "He has a girlfriend, John," Can't a man and woman simply be friends? What's with him? "So?" He shrugs laughing before whining from the sharp pain in his calf where you managed to land a hand kick at. "What? From what I've heard from Taeil and Mark," Mark is Yuta's closest friend. "She's not all she says to be," He brushed it off his shoulder, "Maybe she's just a workaholic?" You suggest, "We both know an amateur photographer like her isn't that busy." The two of you erupt in a fit of knowing laughter. "You're too dangerous, Johnny," You kiss your teeth before being served the lunch you had Johnny order earlier. "But on a serious note, you should find a boyfriend." He makes a disgusted face, looking you up and down. "Before you age, aren't you almost 24?" He questioned, "Yea, but-" "Mom was pregnant with you at 24." He finishes, before receiving a well-deserved step on his big-toe. "What?! I just want what's best for you!" He barked, "You think that's Yuta! He's my friend and not to mention a business partner!" He lifted his hands, trying not to engage in an argument that might have you ignoring him (again) for months. "Alright, I know!" He sucks in his breath, "Lunch is almost over, kiddo. Try getting in that office and doing something extravagant as always." Johnny grabbed your empty plate and stacked them on top of one another, cleaning up as much possible. "You should have dinner with Gyunghui and me tonight? I'm sure you don't have plans." His eyes lit up at the mention of Gyunghui. It almost warmed your heart. "I wish! I gotta help Yuta clean his apartment tonight," Way to go Y/N! You just made the worst excuse possible. Yuta was probably going to be spending his evening kicking back and relaxing without Jin Nyun. Now that you've told Johnny this, you'd have to go through with it. "Oh?" Johnny's face turns into something more sinister. But you laugh it off knowing he's probably thinking of something perverted. "Okay! Gotta go!" "Not so fast," He grabbed the back of your arm, seating you back down, "You pay today." He smiled before grabbing his briefcase and jacket, exiting happily.

You slump into the cushion before grabbing your purse from the inside of your jacket pocket. After you pay, you pull out your phone, dialling Yuta's number. The call didn't even reach the first ring before he picked up, "Hello?" He was first to speak too. Weird. "Hi, It's Y/N-" "I know, we've had each other's numbers for three years now." You chuckle, "Okay... We have plans tonight, my friend." You can hear the evident groan on the other end. "When and where?" He asked. "After I get off around four and your place!" You cheer before silencing, waiting for a response. "Okay, good." He paused for a moment before continuing, "I need to clean this place up anyways, you can help out." He stated. "Perfect." You replied.

⋆

Who would've guessed that your evening is being spent by scrubbing a sink with floral gloves? "You know," You started. "We could've gone out for dinner and hired someone for this," Yuta, who was behind you wiping the kitchen counter. "Yes, but it's unnecessary." He says. You groan, "Can't we watch something on Netflix? This place was already clean when I came in!" You whine, stomping your feet like a child. "No," He simply replied.

"Okay! Let's see what's on Netflix..." You mumble, before looking over to Yuta beside you on the couch. He seemed tense, uninterested. It was odd to see him like this, "Are you okay?" You tediously asked. He murmured something under his breath before sucking it in. "This is weird," He said, "Why are you trying to hang out with me while my girlfriend is out of town? Are you into me or something? I just find it weird!" He finally let out. So this is what has been bothering Yuta. Did he feel uncomfortable with you? He's acting like a completely different person from who he was earlier today at the office. "I'm sorry? I don't know what to say..." You exhale, "We're friends, and friends hang out. Plus, I needed an excuse to get out of dinner with Johnny and Gyunghui." His face fell, a pang of guilt waving over him. Did he seriously think you were trying to get into his pants (He's not wrong)? God, who did he think he was, making such assumptions. "Oh- Fuck. Sorry Y/N. I don't know what got over me." He throws the blanket to the side before leaving the living room towards the bathroom. It wasn't supposed to hurt. I mean, you've always had these hidden feelings for Yuta, but you still treated him like you would to a friend. "Hey, I think I'm just really stressed with Jin Nyun. She's never home." He bellowed, pumping his fists into the air before letting out a stressed groan. "She's really getting under your skin, huh?" You say, "Deeper than I thought." He made his way back beside you. "Let's- Let's just play this movie." He massaged the back of his neck, now focused on the movie displayed on the flat-screen TV.

⋆

"Y/N!" You pull the phone from your ear for a moment. Johnny was exceptionally loud at ten in the morning. He sounded like he had something urgent to tell you. But, you out of everyone had no time to listen to his girl talk, especially when you're in a meeting room with ELLE magazine staff, discussing your new line of clothing and having your collection featured in this month's issue. "You won't believe-" "Johnny! I have a job to do!!" You screech, hearing his apologies moments after. Ending the phone call, you enter the meeting room, "Sorry, where were we?" Assistant editor, Myeong-Ko set this meeting up with you to discuss your fall collection. "Since you've gained an audience over the past five years, we'd like to include you're best fashion pieces on our models and October issue."

Finally, you thought you'd be stuck in that meeting for ages! It's a little past noon, you are positive that Johnny's at home relaxing on his day off, you decide to call him back on your way to your late lunch with Yuta and Taeil. "Hello?" You are greeted by Johnny's panting voice with Gyunghui's giggles heard; not wanting to know what was going on the other end of the phone, you cut to the chase. "Johnny, what'd you want to tell me earlier?" You hear the 'Ou' loud and clear as he remembers and laughs aloud, "Guess who asked Doyoung out at a club in Ilsan?" You wrinkle your forehead, looking up at the sky, thinking. "No clue," "Jin Nyun!" Johnny said. Now, this was a disaster. You thought Jin Nyun had been smart enough to not cheat on her boyfriend with his old drinking mate. Did the news reach Yuta? "Did he tell him?" You asked hesitantly, "No, he told me to tell you to tell him." And with that, big brother Seo ended the call to return to doing god knows what with his wife. That's when you reached the front door of this eatery. Yuta gave you directions to this new Tteokbokki place, a ten-minute walk from the main street. You walked in, recognizing the blond from a mile away, eyes glued to his phone in the corner booth. "Y/N..." He said, standing up and brushing off the crumbs of what seemed like a cookie off his lap. He looked awful, the ache in your heart wondering who caused him such discomfort flamed the anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach. "Hey, hey. What's wrong?" You watch him slumped back into the seat, not bothering to sit in front of him, you went into the seat beside him. No matter how weird it looked, to be seated in a booth beside each other, it looked like he needed someone right now. He wore a Nike sweater with basketball shorts and sneakers. You bring your hand to his cheek to lift it and get a good look at him. A sharp pain filled your body, seeing his tear-stained cheeks. He wasn't okay. Looking all worn out and out of place wasn't Yuta. He was always looking ethereal to everyone else. Why did he look so helpless? "Let's go to my apartment, I live a few minutes away." You whisper, watching him nod softly.

⋆

It's nearing seven in the early hours of the evening. Yuta hasn't left your living room couch since he just had his heartbroken. It seemed to be that Jin Nyun broke up over text with Yuta telling him he wasn't enough to satisfy her needs. He also mentioned her telling him she met someone a couple of months ago and has been seeing him, but didn't she try sleeping with Doyoung? "Yuta, stop sulking over a girl who doesn't even have her priorities straight." You said, closing the freezer door with another tub of green-tea ice cream. "One year." He mumbled, almost incoherent, "I gave up a year of my life to be cheated on for god knows how long!" He barks. You hand Yuta the ice cream, before standing there, thinking. What could cheer him up? "Oh! I know!" You run into your bedroom, walking out with a bowl. "Suki, say hi to Yuta. He's feeling down... Make him happy, please?" You ask the Betta fish in the bowl before placing her on the coffee table in front of Yuta. "Wha-What?" He expressed his amusement from your odd liking towards this redfish. "Say hi to Suki, Yuta!" You cheer before pointing at Suki. "You're kidding me?" You turn to look up at you, with your hands placed on either side of your hips, 'She wasn't kidding' he turns back and hunched over to look into the bowl "Hi Suki." 

"Are you still thinking about her?" You ask, nudging Yuta. "Surprisingly, no," He said, staring into the black screen. You raise a brow, curious. "I've been thinking about you." He sighs before looking at Suki, who was moved to the table beside the couch so she could 'get a better look at the movie.' "Oh?" This was interesting. Why would he think of you? Were you that significant to him now? "It's just that, you just took the day off... To take care of me." He mumbles. "It's not that big of a deal, I- you was hurt. Of course, I have to be there for you!" You fiddle with the blanket, "You're really important to me." The now tongue-tied boy's head shot up, turning to look at you. His bewildered face softened in moments before he gathered the courage to reply. "You're really important to me too." You rip the blanket off you, throwing it in Yuta's direction. "It's almost midnight. I think we need to eat dinner before bed." You tell him, making your way into the kitchen. "Before bed?" He asked. "You are spending the night, right?" You asked, stopping in your tracks. "Oh, Are you okay with that?" He asked, getting up and trailing behind you. You throw a quick 'Duh?' towards the boy earning a couple chuckles your way. He sat on the island stool, watching you pull together something some-what edible for you two tonight. "I want to apologize for the other night again, I shouldn't have assumed or acted like that," 'He said that out of the blue.' You though before scrunching up your face before cracking an egg, "I hope you like French toast." You say, dodging the unneeded apology.

⋆

Nakamoto Enterprises. Never thought you'd walk into Yuta's building with a pair of jeans and a sweater. Most of your trips here were business-related, and you often showed up in a suit. "H-Hi Ms.S-Seo!" Yuta's assistant, Jungwoo, said, greeting you. "Hey Jungwoo, is Yuta out of his meeting yet? He promised me tacos," You said, rubbing your belly enthusiastically, earning a couple of giggles from the tall-boy. "Ah! I heard him mumble something about tacos earlier while fixing his dress-shirt." He said, remembering. Just then, you see Yuta walkout, Jungwoo covers his mouth, tilting towards you. "I heard he dyed his hair and got all dolled up for you Y/N, don't mess up." He said before waving goodbye and wandering off towards his associates. "New do?" You said, combing your fingers through Yuta's rosewood locks. "Just for you." He smiles before walking out with you. After his breakup with Jin Nyun, oddly, he's been on top of his game. You'd think you would have to take a week off to help the pain go away. You knew how much he loved her. Now? Now it was like the two of you had this new sort of bond.

What you weren't aware of was that Yuta has a new spot for you in his heart. Somewhere he held dear. Yuta never expected to move on that fast, but he knew you were always there, just waiting to break out and roam freely in his mind. You made his insides twist in a way Jin Nyun couldn't, but something in him knew it was too soon. "Something wrong?" You asked the boy zoning out at the red light, "No, I'm good." He replied, hand gripping the wheel. Although his mind was flooded with innocent, pure thoughts of you. Tonight, something in him wanted to tear you apart in his penthouse. Always chasing after something that didn't want to be chased after, or so he thought. "Can we get ice-cream... I finished the one at home." He contemplates what to do for a minute before answering proudly, "Nope!" He said. He looks so confident but, he almost melted when you called his place home. "Why not?!" "I'm cooking dinner." He replied, now focusing on the road. You huff and sit back in the seat, staring out the window. The beating in your heart, drumming loud in your ears. Is it possible he feels the same? Or is this way of coping without Jin Nyun... If you thought this evening couldn't get any better- you were wrong! Mark and Taeil decided to drop by while you hung around Yuta's suite. The four of you were feasting on the take-out the two boys brought over. Guess Yuta doesn't have to cook. "So, Mark, you're a producer?" You asked before taking a bite, "Yea, Johnny helps out sometimes." Oh? Johnny helping make music? I guess you could see that in a way, he does have a few specialties in the Arts. "Y/N! Congrats on ELLE, by the way!" Taeil interrupted loud and cheerfully. Your eyes crinkle at the sides while you show him a toothy grin. "I'm proud," Yuta said, bringing his hand up to ruffle your hair. 

⋆

The winter chill settles in, as the streets were now covered in a thick blanket of white, footsteps and paw prints being crisscross along the sidewalks. You sported a simple city chic black coat pairing it with a white turtleneck long-sleeve sweater dress. You admit, though the layered clothing appeared to keep you all warm to the naked eye, your exposed legs seemed to be coated in goosebumps as you speeded towards the tall building. "No pants?" Haechan asked, handing you a coffee. "My mom's coming in today," You confess, Haechan's facial expression remained still as if he was already aware of your guest. "She's in your office, let me take your coat." You thank the younger boy before skipping into the elevator beside the main lobby. Before you reached the top floor, the lift stopped on the tenth floor. "Taeyong?" You ask, the man wearing a black mask with his suit. "Y/N? Oh my god, hey." Taeyong was a good friend of yours. He even works under you. Though you'd think having a comrade by your side while you are at your job, it had driven you two apart, both of you only meeting during promotional seasons. He was hired as one of your models and editors. Being successful, he often modelled for Taeil and Kun, another business associate of yours. Though losing a friend hurt horribly, you were still happy for Taeyong and his newfound profession. "Oh my god, I forget you're my boss sometimes," He said, removing his mask. "Haven't seen you in weeks." You chuckle softly before speaking, "We need to catch up, I heard you were the model for our ELLE issue, and you are going to star in an advertisement for Kun?" He nodded. "Kun wanted me and someone, named, Ten to star in the advertisement for his new diamond sets." Your mouth goes slightly agape at the mention of the name, immediately squealing to yourself. "Ten?! Ten Lee?!!! I've been begging his agency to have him model for us! How come Kun gets him that quick?!" Taeyong threw his head back slightly before erupting into a fit of laughter. You seriously were jealous, and it entertained the boy. The elevator stops on the 20th floor. "My stop. Good luck getting Ten. I'll tell him your hot. Maybe then he'll consider..." Taeyong joked before waving goodbye. The rest of the ride up was quiet. You made sure to fix the end of your dress before meeting with your mother. Exiting the chute, you made your way to make your mother a quick cup of coffee from the instant coffee machine. It was no macchiato but it'll make do. 

"Why are you late?" Your mother questioned once you walked into the room. "I was just getting you coffee," You voiced before walking and taking a seat in front of your desk. Taking files and shoving it out of the way. Handing her the coffee, you finally take a sip on your drink, which was now as cold as the snowfall this season. "So, Mom. What brings you here?" You asked. "Can't I visit my daughter?" She replies, offended. "No, you can't." You scoff, "What do you want?" You interrogate, and that's when you see her shoulders drop as she grips the coffee cup. You knew it. "Listen, sweetheart..." You hum, she continues. "It's ... It's just that you're almost 25! An unmarried chairwoman is humiliating. I don't want Johnny or your father to be ashamed of you, so get your shit together is I give your hand in marriage to another man." Your mother scoffs, the innocent facade fading. Though she had no right to talk to you like that, it felt like a slap in the face. You thought that was the end of it, but no. She had more to get off her chest. "You're friends with Mr.Nakamoto, Mr. Kim, Moon, and that model kid Taeyong. All single. Yet you're still single. Get your shit together, Y/N. I can't always run after you-" "Leave." You were now standing up from the little office chair, pointing towards the door. This was wrong. You shouldn't be disrespectful to someone attempting to fix your own mistakes right? "Farewell then, Goodluck." Unfazed, she exits while you stood in the empty room, the silent room. The only detectable noises were the sound of hurried footsteps, the squeak of doors and the printers from co-workers. 

⋆ 

Saturday nights were known for the shenanigans Yuta, and you pulled. Though tonight, the two of you decided on dressing like sophisticated businesswomen and men, like you weren't already! Come on, you two are multimillionaires. Now, heading to Ryunique, a Fusion restaurant along Gangnam-gu. Today, you squeezed into the most elegant dress in your wardrobe. A black short tulle-skirt lace dress, the double-layered stand-up collar. Especially with your partner in crime who decided on wearing a black satin button-up dress shirt with black pants and his long hair slicked back. You two were the main attraction of the night for sure. "What if we pretended to have American accents?" You joked, exiting the car. "We don't even know English Y/N." The two of you broke into small fits of laughter. "All right, enough jokes. Let's head in." Patting the ends of your dress, you fix the watch on your wrist and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "Good evening," The tall man at the front desk immediately greeted, standing up and walking towards you two. "Hello, we've got reservations." He clicks his tongue before grabbing the laptop on the desk and placing it on the counter. "Name?" "Mr. and Mrs.Nakamoto." Okay, maybe you two took it too far, to look like a dirty rich couple coming to shower money on these restaurant folks, but it was all in good fun! 

Did wealthy people seriously come here to spend hundreds on Pork Belly, Jowl and Shrimps? Damn right! It was delicious, "Yuta. Give me a bite, please...!!" You beg him. He ordered Beef and Salmon. In other words, tonight's special. "Finish what's on your plate first, Mrs.Nakamoto." He tells you, smiling, before cutting a piece of his Beef and placing it onto your plate. Since when were you so spoilt. By Yuta out of everyone. "I can't believe you made it seem like we were married," You said snickering. "I wasn't going to do that at first, but something about 'Mr. and Mrs. Nakamoto' sounded nice." He plays with the leftover salad on the plate, "It has a nice tone to it, right?" If you weren't in a five-star restaurant, you would've choked, but in attempts to keep your cool at Yuta's shameless behaviour in public, you look up and give a smile. "Mhm! Perfect, we should use it more often!" There you were, fighting fire with fire. "Y/N- You can't just-!?" He stops in the middle of his sentence to fill his mouth with the salad. "Check!" He calls out, as you sit there playing with an olive. You sure do have him wrapped around your finger. Sadly, even Saturdays come to an end. "Shouldn't the guy be walking the girl home?" Yuta asked. "Right? I was thinking that. I guess I'm the man here." Playfully Yuta nudged you. Before pulling you close, his arm envelopes around you. "I'm a man." He assures more to himself than you, "Sure..." Dragging your feet towards Yuta's doorstep, you let out a yawn. "Oh god, I gotta play the man role now." He mumbles before unlocking his front door. "You're sleeping over. Can't have my damsel walk out alone in the dark." He whispers to your half-asleep figure leaning on the doorframe, dozing away. 

⋆

Your nose scrunches as your eyes take in every ray of light, and without a doubt, you know you've slept in today. What day was it? Was it still morning or past noon? Where is your phone? Wait, where were you? It took a little adjusting for your tired eyes to realize you were in Yuta's bedroom. Oh, you must have slept over. Looking to your right, you see shirtless Yuta, sprawled across the bed. Hold on. Catching a double-take on what you are looking at... shirtless Yuta... God is on your side today. He turns his head over, an evident smirk displayed. “Like what you see?” He asked, “As if!” You reply, taking the pillow from underneath your head and throwing it at him. “I’m gonna shower, make breakfast will ya?” You request, before marching into his bathroom. ‘What's that smell’ you wonder, skipping into the open kitchen. You’ve always admired the interior of Yuta’s place. Modern yet cozy. “I hope you’re craving egg fried rice.” Yuta said which you happily replied with a hungry growl. “Hungry as a hippo today!” You make your way behind him. You have this urge to back hug him, to wrap your slender arms around his waist, indulging in his scent. “Wh-What are you doing?” Yuta asked. He felt a shock when you wrapped around him, nuzzling yourself into his neck. “I don’t know..” You confess, before it hit you. “Oh my god..! I didn’t even know if you were okay with that! I am such a perv, why’d you go hug him Y/N! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid...” You didn’t realize it there but Yuta turned off the stove when he turned around to grab your wrist from leaving, pulling you back into his embrace. This time he wraps his arms around you, pushing your head into his warm chest. His hand made it’s way to pet your head for a moment before he broke the embrace, the two of you got a glimpse at one another, safe to say he feels the same right? Yuta turns to reach up at the cabinet to serve the two of you. Walking over to his dining table he places the plates while you get some water. “Eat up Mrs.Nakamoto” He chirps, before sitting. 

“Yuta I’m gonna wear your sweater!” You shout from his closet, “Mkay!” He replies. Yuta and you decided on skipping work, and spending your Sunday relaxing in his suite. Grabbing his basketball shorts and sweater you tie an extra tight knot on the waist so you didn’t have to hold it whenever you needed to move settings. “Wow, so cute.” He flirts watching you being swallowed by his clothing. “C’mere,” He pats a spot beside him, which you gladly accepted sitting cuddled up beside him. The two of you have still not confronted one another with the fact your feelings were now out in the open. He knew how deeply in-love you were with him, it was getting so hard to hide.. It kind of just, spilt. Yuta only confirmed his by hugging you back. It was more so a silent confession between the two of you. The promise to be with one another till the end of time being hidden somewhere in that heartwarming moment in the kitchen. “So, are we like?” You start, looking up at him to see him nodding with an eye crinkling smile. “Good.” You state, punching the air in victory. He places a kiss on the top of your head. A thank you. 

⋆

A year ago, today. You and Nakamoto Yuta came clean about your growing feelings for one another. Now you were happily in love. Work was the same as always. Only a few changes this year had occurred. Johnny, finally becoming a father. Taeyong had been promoted and was now working more flexibly, letting the two of you hang out. Lastly, but not least, you and Yuta. Not a peep from your mother since that day at the office and no word from Jin Nyun either. You've noticed her attempting to rekindle a spark on multiple occurrences, but as foretold, Yuta steered clear. Now you were living happily, right? Wrong.

It’s not everyday that your best friend comes back from the dead. On April 23rd, 2011, 15-year-old, Jaehyun, had been announced dead in a fatal car accident. The car drove off the Banpo Bridge in the middle of the night, which led the authorities to believe he was drunk driving. There was hope he was still out there, but as the years progressed, you lost hope. Jaehyun’s dream was to become a designer. Though you’ve always wanted to become an interior designer, in a way to pay your respects, you’ve followed his desired path. But, to say the least, you learnt to love this path. It’s where you met Yuta and the people you can call your closest. Now, almost ten years later. You receive a call. "Hello?" On the other end of the line, you could hear soft breaths. Feeling a little uneasy, you call Yuta. Who was idling on the couch, silently over to listen to whatever was going on? "Hello? Who is this?" You ask once more. The breathing halts and, you hear a flimsy cough, "Is this Y/N?" You look over to Yuta, who seemed concerned. "Y-Yes." You answer. The man laughs wholeheartedly for a minute too long before a pause. "Who is this?" You asked, "Jung Jae-" "Don't even finish. Is this some sort of cruel joke?! Who are you!?" You were furious. Yuta backs away to watch from a distance, but ready to comfort you if anything. "Who said I was joking? 66-2 Gongpyeong-dong, Jung-gu, Daegu. Thursday night." He finished with a smooching noise at the end of the line. He ends the call, and you adjust your seat on the island stool. "Jaehyun's dead, right?" You mumble to yourself, still audible to an oblivious Yuta. "Baby? Tell me what's on your mind. You know I'm here," He doesn't know Jaehyun. In fact, he has no clue about how you were in the past. The heartbreaks you've had. "Jaehyun." Yuta furrows his brows. Who is Jaehyun? A past lover, perhaps? Hopping off the stool, you make your way towards the master bedroom. Pulling out a duffle bag from underneath the bed. Although this phone call seemed like some sort of sick set-up, you couldn't help it. A small portion of you knew there could be a chance Jaehyun was still alive. 'Johnny and Jaehyun were friends too,' You thought. He must've been informed about his whereabouts if he was alive. Ding. Perfect timing, such an emotional time, being interrupted. Yuta calls you from the door.

"It's Johnny!" 

The timing couldn’t be any better. Just in, that your elder brother had gotten a text, similar to the call you received. He ran into the bedroom, seeing you packing. Turning around, you noticed his suitcase in hand. “Did he?” Johnny questioned. How could he believe a mere text from an unknown number? You scoff, “Yea, I got a call, I don’t buy it though. He’s dead.” You fumed. “Then why are you packing?” He interrogated. He’s right, why were you? “I-I-I don’t know! Just- Just get in the car.” You throw the keys of your minivan off the bed towards Johnny, who catches it, happily. “Apparently I don’t exist. What the hell is going on!?” Yuta roared. Stopping your actions, you walk over to the boy standing behind Johnny. “Jung Jaehyun died in a fatal car accident in 2011. Someone is claiming that he’s alive.” You answered, watching his expression change from dumbfounded to intrigued. “Why does his death concern you guys?” He asked. “He is-was, my best friend.” Yuta brings his hand down towards your hand, grabbing to caress it with his finger. He could only imagine how dreadful this might be, “When he died... Did they find his body?” He asked. Cautiously. You suck in your breath in realization. No, they didn’t. Looking up to Johnny with a glint of hope glistening in your eyes. Was he really alive? “Go, I’ll take care of work.” He says after wrapping his arms around you. “Thank you." You whisper before grabbing Johnny and walking out. Yuta sighs, "She forgot her bag." He said to himself.

"We have to catch the next train Daegu." You say to Johnny, driving. "I booked our tickets as soon as I got the text. We board in two hours." Prepared as always. Johnny drives over the highway, lights on full beam. You watched how the bright lights played in the pouring rain. This was going to be the only time. You'd be close to relaxing before the next chain of events. But all your mind wandered to was Yuta. How Yuta was doing was your main concern as of now. You're nowhere near understanding how he must feel right now. "He's fine," Johnny interjected, knowing that face you made. "I hope so. We went from watching Netflix to this." You whisper. "It's Yuta, Y/N. He understands." He assured.

Now, here you were in a small but nicely decorated cafe on the outskirts of Daegu. It was Thursday morning, you weren't meeting potential Jaehyun until later this evening. But to take extra measures, you came by earlier to rent the cafe for the evening. Paying was generous. Johnny mentioned he'd be visiting his friend, and for you to fill him in on what went on tonight. He wasn't being selfish, leaving the work to you. It was more selfless than selfish. Johnny knows how much of a role Jaehyun paid to your life before and after.  So leaving your first meeting after ten years to just the two of you was all you could've asked for. "Excuse me! Ms.Seo?" The cafe owner calls for you. "Since your guest won't arrive until later tonight, why don't I make you some brunch?" She offers, "Please? Haven't eaten since last night," You two share a small laugh before she heads off into the kitchen.'You're early.' A shiver ran down your spine as you read the notification.  Jheez, couldn't Jaehyun just enter like a human and not some creepy pedophile. Came all the way from Seoul to see you, can't you be normal? 'Come in?' You hit send. Good thing you were meeting on a full stomach, or else you’d be a little over emotional. What’d he look like? Did he still had the shy boy persona? Or has he grown out of it? The questions that flooded your mind were interrupted by the chime of a bell, indicating someone has entered. “Y/N I missed you” 

Meanwhile, at Nakamoto Enterprises. "Jaehyun. Jaehyun. Jaehyun. Jaehyun." The name lingered Yuta's mind. Did he know him from somewhere? "Jungwoo!" He shouts for his assistant, who dashes in. "Yes?!" Yuta looks out the bay windows, contemplating his own move. "Jung Jaehyun. Who is he?" He asked, still gazing at the rainy window. "He is one of the three founders of JYX Co. He requested a meeting with you last month, something about investing." Jungwoo said, reading off the tablet in hand. Impossible. If he died, then why? He must've been trying to score a meeting with Yuta after hearing about his relationship with you. But that’s not where he knows Jaehyun from, is it? 

Sitting in an empty coffee shop with your proclaimed dead best friend was horrifying but still patched up a hole in that broken heart of yours. “Can’t believe it's you...” You said happily, towards Jaehyun. He grew. Going from the lanky fifteen-year-old to a well built and sophisticated man. After rekindling the friendship, he mentioned what happened that night. "Everything you heard is correct, I drove off the Banpo bridge." He started. "But I was pulled out by this older man by the shore. He took me in and brought me to his place in Daegu." He stops to look up at you. "So, you just decided to start new?" You ask. He nods. "I'm sorry I couldn't bring myself to come home. I'm sorry for what I put you through." He apologized. Though a regular person would've been fuming at the fact he just up and left. You were just relieved. "It's okay, Jae. You're here now." You smile, continuing. "I became a designer for you, and frankly, I'm loving it." He laughs, grasping your hand resting on the table. "I know, I've been keeping tabs on you." He confesses. "So, Nakamoto Yuta." He says, watching your cheeks redden. "What about him?" You huff, in a childish manner. "One year? When is he gonna put a damn ring on it?!" He joked, watching you cover your face. "I don't know..." You mumble, "Anyways, Johnny's at Minhyuk's place. Wanna go?" 

⋆

"I knew you sounded familiar," Yuta spoke, seeing Jaehyun walk-in with you this afternoon. "Huh?" What was he going on about? "That's the first thing you say when you see me? No 'I miss you'?" Jaehyun mused but laughed aloud when Yuta hands him a strawberry shake. "No, but is that enough?" He threw a wink, "Still remembering my favourite drink too, huh?" Jaehyun said. You stood behind, dumbfounded. "Hold on... You two know each other?" You question amazed. "Oh yea, Yuta was my roommate in uni." Yuta made his was beside you, making sure to give you a tight hug before a kiss, which made Jaehyun and Johnny gag. You sit on the large living room couch, Yuta's arm wrapped around you. Jaehyun on your other side, sharing a bag of chips with you. A film you were definitely not paying attention to playing on the screen, too distracted in your thoughts. Jaehyun was home. You were home in Yuta's arms. The two most important men back in your life. If you heard this was how you'd end up, you wouldn't believe it. The chances of getting together with Nakamoto Yuta. A name with millions of dollars tied to it, and finding your best friend again, Jaehyun, whom you thought was gone forever. Whatever you did in your past life, seriously paid off. 

This is my happily ever after.

[fiftyshadesof-h]

The Second Choice

Warning: Unhappy Ending

Summary: Reader is heartbroken because Spencer can’t move on from his past love.

Masterlist

“Spencer, I love you.” You whispered out quiet enough so you wouldn’t wake him. It was the first time those words left your mouth, the first time you regretted saying those words.

You were laying next to Spencer in the bed, your leg hooked over his hip, his arm wrapped around your back, holding you tight against his body as though something would pull you away from him at any minute.

You laid atop him, the feeling of his chest moving up and down against your body leaving you calm, but distraught. Distraught because you fell in love too hard, you fell in love with the way he laughed, the way his curls fell infront of his face when he leaned down, the way his laugh gave you an unexplainable amount of joy, but the thing that left you awake at night was that you knew he didn’t love you, maybe he couldn’t love you.

Before Spencer and you first started dating a couple of years ago he explicitly told you that his last girlfriend passed away, he never went in to much detail about the events that led up to her death, only the fact that he had never been the same since then.

So as the months passed you fell more for Spencer, and maybe he did too, just not in the same way.

You knew he cared about you, he had to. You couldn’t handle it if he didn’t.

When you stopped thinking about him, finally ready to sleep you felt the tear fall down your face. You rolled your lips into you mouth trying your best not to cry.

You looked down to Spencer again seeing him content in bed, the low lighting in the bedroom gave attention to the delicate features of his face, you couldn’t help but admire him.

Slowly, you lifted yourself off of his body, a groan leaving him before he just turned to the side, his back facing you.

Did he ever even want me?

You constantly wondered to yourself. The most painful feeling was feeling unwanted by the one person you wanted the most. You would give the world to him if you could.

Before you walked to the bathroom the light on your phone went off, an alert that you ignored instead looking to the time.

12:37 AM

Finally closed away in the bathroom only a nightlight illuminating the room, you could barely see your hand infront of you.

But this, this darkness was how you felt constantly, surrounded by nothingness. You deserved more right?

You leaned against the back of the closed door, sliding down till your butt hit the ground, you put one arm around your bent knees, the other going up to your face to wipe it.

Just once you wanted to be someone’s first choice, to be the person they wanted to share a life with.

You were never that person.

“Always the bridesmaid never the bride.”

The tears were now falling down your face more steadily in a silent sob, your hand infront of your face covering the wavering breaths leaving your mouth.

“baby?” You heard come from the other side of the door. You sucked in a heavy breath at the sound of Spencer’s voice.

That damn voice that made you fall in love.

“Yeah, Spence?” You stayed behind the closed door, quickly wiping your face off, trying not to sound like you were crying.

He was a genius though and he knew what was happening. “Please open the door. What’s wrong?”

You couldn’t stand the worry in his voice so you finally turned the doorknob slowly, hesitantly before you opened it to a very sleepy looking Spencer, his hair messy from the bed, dressed in a t-shirt from a tv show and some plaid pajama pants.

He turned his head to the side, a frown adorning his face. You almost ran into his arms but instead you walked slowly towards him, standing just a few inches away from him until he reached out and pulled you into his arms.

The tears you had previously wiped off your face now placed over the fabric of Spencer’s shirt.

“I’m sorry Spencer, I’m so sorry.” He pulled away form your words, keeping his grasp on your upper arms holding you in place.

“For what, what’s the matter?” He said as he used the back of his hand to wipe the tears away from your face. Once they were gone he left his palm cupping you cheek, his thumb stroking along the pink, swollen skin of your cheek.

“I tried so hard not to Spencer, I really did.”

He still looked confused, his eyebrows scrunched up in an unreadable expression. Part of him knew exactly what you were referring to he just hoped it wasn’t true.

“I love you Spence, so much it kills me.” You breathed out, stepping away from him, removing his hands from your body.

You turned and walked toward the living room, your arms crossed over eachother as you folded into yourself.

“You- you can’t. Please don’t say that.” He begged as he followed closely behind you.

You turned around, your abrupt moment taking Spencer by suprise as he halts his movements.

“God Spencer, I know I can’t say it! I know I can’t because I know you can’t love me back.” You said back to him raising your voice as you got out all the feelings you’ve been hiding.

“and I- I don’t know why you can’t love me, or why no one can love me.” Your voice shook as the words left your mouth.

Spencer’s eyes were now glossed over, liquid burning the corners of them. “Please I don’t want to do this to you, please just- don’t make me do this.”

He keeps speaking as a tear falls down his face, the first tear you’ve seen leave him you realize. “I care about you so much, but I just can’t love anyone else after her.”

“I don’t want to lose you y/n. If I- if I say that then you’ll be taken from me, I can’t- I just can’t lose anyone else, I can’t lose you.” He says, stuttering over the words as he takes in heavy breaths.

“You have to understand.” He says moving closer to you, but instead you take a step further back, distancing yourself from him before you run back.

“I’m trying so hard Spencer, I really am but I can’t just pretend this doesn’t hurt.” You said motioning between the two of you.

“I’m heartbroken, I am always, always! the second choice, I can’t be that Spencer, not to you, not when I care about you so much, not when I love you so much.” He winced as the word love leaves your mouth again.

“Sometimes I just feel- people make me feel like no matter how hard I try, how hard I love, how hard I give I will never be good enough for anyone.”

“I’m not even good enough for you Spencer!” you continued not letting go off a single breath until your sentence finished and you let out a choked sob, your hand moving up to wipe away the stray tears as your lips roll into your mouth.

“I didn’t want to love you, I didn’t plan on it but you had my heart in your hands before I could even say no.” Spencer kept quiet until you finished, when you did you looked up to meet his gaze, the lamp that had been turned on now showing the harsh features adorning his beautiful face, the flushed cheeks, the red, puffy eyes. The lively, beautiful eyes, now turned dark and empty.

“The girl,” Spencer started, tears filling his eyes faster now then they were before. He reached up and used the back of his hand to wipe away a tear,

“I loved her, very much.” He said, causing your heart to be shattered once again.

“I never got the chance to love her though, the chance to hold her in my arms, to fall asleep with her, to live and grow with her. Someone took it away from us, and it- it was my fault because I loved her.”

“She was taken because I loved her and I- I just can’t lose you too, not like that, not like this.”

You let out a breathy laugh, sniffling and wiping your eyes once again before continuing.

“Spence, I wish so badly I never fell in love with you, in fact I wish I never met you,” He gasped softly at your hostile words, good.

“Because,” You had to stop every so often to quiet the sobs trying to leave your mouth, taking deep breaths trying to keep yourself calm. “because if I never met you, I would have no need to want you, no need to for loving you, or crying over you. I would never ask you to pretend to love me.”

“But I can’t stay here and be the second choice, the one you can never love. I deserve love Spencer, I deserve to be wanted by someone, to be adored by someone, and that someone is- they just aren’t you.”

You sucked in a sharp breath of air as you looked at the broken expression on Spencer’s face.

“I’m so sorry Spencer.” You repeated the words from earlier tonight. He let out a sob before turning back to the bedroom and shutting the door.

You knew you loved him the day you stopped being mad he was breaking your heart.

Now with the door closed, and Spencer being on the other side you realized how utterly alone you were.

You were so, so tired of fighting for once you just wanted to be fought for.

Minutes later Spencer stepped out of the bedroom, his face hung low. You were happy to see him step out of the room only to realize what was in his hand.

The noise of your bad hitting the floor was like a slap to the face. “Leave.” He said, now looking you directly in the eyes, a wild look on his face.

“Spencer pleas-.” You were cut off by him again.

“I can’t have you here, no I won’t- I won’t do it. If you’re gonna leave me like everyone else then jsut fucking do it!” His voice now raised, tears pooling in his eyes once again.

You looked at him, eyes wide, unable to speaks.

“Get out! Leave please, if I have to lose someone else fine, I don’t need you, I don’t- I don’t need anyone! I can trust myself, I can’t trust you, I can’t trust anyone because you all just leave in the end!”

He was so angry, but not jsut at you at everyone in his life.

“I’m so sorry.” You said not able to hold back the sob that leaves your mouth.

Next thing you know you’re standing in the living room alone again.

This is the loneliest you’ve felt in your whole life, your whole life just fell apart infront of you and all you can do is stare blankly at the shut door, the room just beyond holding the man who picked you as second.

All you wanted to do was bust through that door and hug Spencer, to tell him that it’s okay and you would never leave him, but instead you walked through the front door, letting it slam behind you, the gust of wind not enough to wake you up from this nightmare.

the end.

A/N: hi thanks for reading! This is extremely short but i just had the idea during sad hours :))I just wanted to say that I love you and you are worthy of love and all the kindness that the world can give you <3