#why am i gonna start crying
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HERMITCRAFT WIKI YOU DESERVE MY WHOOLE LIFE
#THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY FRICKING LIFE#hermitcraft#hermitblr#skizzleman#skizz#why am i gonna start crying#im so happy#text#mcyt#mcytumblr
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being a sanji fan is an intense experience because it takes you like 200 episodes to finally understand why sanji's eyes turned lifeless for a flickering moment at those words
#epi 793#me : im gonna sleep early tonight#me at 3 am : *thinks about sanji's past and starts crying*#man why couldn't i just do cocaine to pass my time why did i start watching one piece#one piece sanji#black leg sanji#sanji#vinsmoke sanji#kuroashi no sanji#whole cake island#whole cake arc#queued im so fuckin bummed goodbye#but yes i still maintain my stance on sanji and the punk hazard children.he was absolutely right#sanji my beloved#sanji meta
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The sky is so beutiful today, so why the long face?
#my art#kirby oc#kirby#oc#kirby's dream land 3#<- bg is kinddda inspired by it :]#me when im feeling down and as i look around the pretty landscape THAT child who also happens to be my brothers student#randomly sits down and starts talking about how he likes to play and draw and make friends and take naps.#and why the hell is cheering me up WHAT#<- falce#he was maybe just feeling a little lonely.#tear falling from my eye. AAGHHHH#im gonna cry over my own art YES I AM!!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!#maybe ill sketch down a continuation of this maybe. oh my lord
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this blog is 11 years old now 🎉
I drew the siblings ever to celebrate as usual
#loz#wind waker#legend of zelda#toon link#aryll#I wasn't gonna draw anything but then I sketched link real quick and I was like okay wait i can do this#and then my brother dragged me outside ☠ but i still got it done today!#the anniversary is today. tumblr sent me a notification like ravio is 11 years old now! ravio the character is actually 11 years old.#albw released in2013. i received two reminders this morning. ravio drawing soon maybe. coming this year definitely. maybe#arylls like big brother use a damn fork#<- that was the tag when I first started drawing them in 2018#also i noticed when I draw aryll i always draw her in her blue dress so i decided to change it up. i only play 2nd playthroughs of wind wak#r because fun fact: i hate link's green tunic and hat. i finished a first playthrough years ago with a finished nintendo gallery#and then when i want to start a new playthrough i fight ganondorf again go through the credits cry and then BAM new game no-plus#i miss link's green tunic now though. its been so long. im so sick of champions garb...............idk the green is iconic idk#im not a huge fan of it but i think his base form should be green again. with the hat. let him look doofy as a default again#he was green in echoes of wisdom but i need them to follow through after again.#i didnt finish echoes of wisdom yet (SOON IM TRYING IM STUCK I NTHE SONIC ADVENTURE 1 WEB HELP) but what I saw of Link there?#he was kinda terrifying lmao its always funny to see that link is so extremely competent because i am not. that boy efficient#im stuck in the sa1 web because everyone is always talking about how good it is. so i played the pc port and. its apparently awful idk it i#thats just what sa1 outside of emerald coast plays to me tbh. but the dreamcast is supposed to be better. and i own a dreamcast. free me#i played on gamecube too. 12 years ago. it made me sick. maybe one day i'll install some mods that make it play better#why does it feel like the month is over when its only january 6#i played sa1 as a kid btw. just emerald coast tho. ALSO I DIDNT BUY A DREAMCAST FOR THIS I ALREADY OWNED ONE
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Ok. I work on a floor with 2 bunsen burners and a flamible/combustible liquids cabnet. Last week, I realized I didn't know where the fire extinguisher was (despite frequently using an open flame). Turns out it is out the door and down the hall. About as far from the fire hazards as possible. And I can't stop thinking abt it. Like. That feels fucking crazy right? I ask bc I seem to be the only person who cares. I told my advisor that I think we should have more fire extinguishers and he looked at me blank faced (despite the fact that he had to actively wander around the whole floor bc he also didn't kno where it was). And like yeah, in 20 years they haven't had a fire and maybe they never will but this feels like a fucking common sense preventative measure? It's just tempting fate. The hubris of not putting a fire extinguisher next to a bunsen burner is driving me crazy?? It's not even in the same god damn room! You would have to run out the room, sprint down the hall, open the case, and sprint back to use it! Why am I the only one who cares???
#am i just a fucking rule following loser??? maybe. but like. it seems like not a single person gives a fuck abt safety in the god damn state#im in the fucking land of liberatarians and everyone just seems fine to pour live cultures down the sink and let ppl walk thru the outskirts#of a superfund site without protective equipment. fucking. god dammit. they dont even make u do lab safety training!!!!#at my last school i had to do online trianing. take a test and get it renewed every year. then get special training for hazardous waste#disposal bc we autoclaved our biological waste. which we dont fucking do here. here u take a common sense test that one of ur peers#basically assumes u passed and there u go. ur trained to work in the lab. and my last fucking school was not in some progressive utopia#i was in the southwest. i didn't kno we could get more yeehaw hands off than that. i just. its crazy#and i feel like im the only one who cares. and i feel like im being a cry bby for saying something but im not gonna fucking let it go#bc it is one of my greatest god damn fears to make a stupid fucking mistake and not be able to fix it in a way that was clearly fucking#preventable. so like fuck u. accidents fucking happen. my friend had to use a fire extinguisher last semester bc she started an ethanol fire#ugh. my advisor said he would talk to someone higher up at the University bc it feels like this should b their problem. Anyway. i told my#dad abt this and he was absolutely astounded bc he works for the government and they have a million safetly standards#ugh. i hate this. this is why ppl dont fucking speak up when they see something weird. now i gotta b a neurotic lil safety bitch#unrelated
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I am filled with HATE and SORROW y'all know how like Nurm is my favourite character my number 1 guy out of any piexe of media ever I love him dearly which sucks cause he's pretty unpopular but whatever whatever. N I'm like "man I really want to see some new Nurm content but everything I find I've either seen before or I created ☹️" and then I. I go on tiktok and I KEEP seeing edits that start with a clip with Nurm in them and then haha surprise it's actually a Petra edit!! Cause it's ALWAYS PETRA GOD DAMN IT and I love her. I love Petra so much. She is a fabulous character but ohm y god I am tweaking. I genuinely started crying y'all I am not sane nor normal. I'm so normal about him. Oh my good god I am going insane I am 💥💥💥💥
#I envy people who's favourite characters are like. Lukas or Petra or Jesse. Y'all don't know how good you have it#At least I can confidently say I'm one of Nurm's biggest fans. You guys can't say that without a fight breaking out aha ha#HRGAHSBSJSJSNNSN#Actually losing it#Scampering about#Ignore this I'm just#ARG 💥💥💥💥#No cause I saw a post that was super funny but the screenshot used had like. Nurm's left leg in the foregriund and I started tearing up#My period is coming I can sense it there's no other explanation for this madness#Is somebody gonna match my freak? (Going genuinely feral for a guy with like 2 fans)#I don't know the term for this attachment. Cause it's not a normal person thing I'm 90% sure it's the autism#But I don't know enough about villagers to consider this a special interest and it's too long to be a hyper fixation#(even though I am very fixated and it is tearing me up inside)#This is why I tweak so bad in the tags of Nurm art sometimes I genuinely start crying g and scratching my phone like a rabbit animal#Rabid not rabbit.#minecraft story mode#mcsm#mcsm nurm#nurm mcsm#There are no emojis nor words that accurately depict my current state#I'm normal I'm normal I swear please I'm normal
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tag me in the fix it fics when they start coming thank you
#tua#tua season 4#the umbrella academy#the umbrella academy season 4#i’m crying there HAVE to be fix it fics#i’m gonna start writing them myself#and a good writer I AM NOT#english is not my first language#and not in a poetic way#please someone has to fix this shitsow#i need a cleanse FOR MY SOUL#klaus hargreeves#allison hargreeves#diego hargreeves#five hargreeves#redeem my BOY#luther hargreeves#ben hargreeves#viktor hargreeves#claire hargreeves#RAY DESERVES MORE THAN ONE FUCKING LINE#WHY did he walk out#WHAT POSSIBLE EXPLANATION COULD YOU GIVE ME#that man didn’t bat an eye when the twink ass gay man that got him out of jail helped him get rid of the corpse of the man his wife killed#WHAT COULD MAKE HIM WALK OUT#redeem allison’s MAN#THATS A MAN#dave katz#baby they forgot about you but i sure ain’t gonna forgive#i will not know peace until klaus and dave fuck on my screen in 4k
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WHY!!!? INSTA POSTING TROUBLES! Heeelp!??? 😭
Guys! Help! I dunno why but Insta keeps doing this weird crop thing whenever I try to post more than one horizontal drawing! I don't know what to do and I'm worried for the future posts I'll make. Can anyone tell me what's going on and how to fix it? I've tried resizing, posting with my phone instead of tablet, trying it out on other pictures bedsides the ones you see here that are also horizontal, but of different sizes and still, NOTHING!!! Would appreciate any help!!! Pls!!! This happened before, but I can't remember how I resolved it, all I know is that I did. It's really stressful tho. Google and YouTube has been no help whatsoever either. They keep telling me to resize the photo and I did, but nothing changes! The empty black space besides the photos are the problem. Those spots are supposed to parts of the drawings themselves and when I try to post it as is, it fully crops my picture to the size of it you only see. I know how to make it so Insta will accept a different sized picture than the usual 1x1, but it's not letting me get pass the editing phase this time. How am I to share my art like this??? -Bubs.
(If you can't help, pls try reblogging until someone who does know sees it. TvT I just wanna get this over with.)
#help#art emergency#artists supporting artists#posting#issues#Instagram#is a bitch#cropping#is not it#at least I tried and don't think so#radioapple#fanart#will never see the light of day like this#any advice?#the other's I've found either have wildly different issues or are not working for me#technical issues#digital#failure#to post#AURGHHHHHH#i am seriously gonna start crying soon#I don't have time for more stress#when I just made this to have a break from Finals#WHYYYYY#artist in need#I'm so confused#this might affect my future works too#since I mostly draw for Insta#why is it crashing like this???#why did it start happening?
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personal growth is crazy because it seems like nothing has changed until you're crying because you don't want to die. you learn something about yourself that ten years ago would have actually killed you, and now you're thinking about what you can do to heal and make peace with it. nothing may have changed to you, but to the person you were however long ago, you are the "it gets better"
#guy who's very proud of how well he's handling things rn lol#anyways personal time:#but idk man i kinda remembered smthn from my past n#like. if it wasn't for how much effort i've put into my mental health n coping skills#n my support network now#idk id be in a much worse place.#so i'm gonna forgive myself for not really sleeping last night#n having a hard time with my bpd feelings n emotions#because fuck man! i'm doin really good actually!#growth doesn't have to be oh man i'm never ever sad anymore#it's just. idk i don't cry because i Wanna die anymore#sometimes i have an intrusive thought of suicide#and it makes me cry because i DONT wanna die. and i know those thoughts are not good or needed#but i'm not gonna beat myself up for having them. i'm just gonna be patient n gentle w myself#n give myself time#n everything will be okay(:#bc it is okay! it's in the past and i'm safe now. and i wanna make other people feel safe too#growth starts w baby steps. n that's why it's so hard to recognize in yourself a lot of the time#it goes slooooooowly. for me at least lol.#mine#despite everything i am happy because i know my life now is one i love (: and one im actively trying to better for myself
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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#i won't make it to 2025 i've been crying all day#i don't want anyone to see meeee#and after the party here we'll go to my cousin's house because it's my mom's birthday so they're throwing her a surprise party there#and it's so fucking stupid!!! because idk what they're gonna tell her to take her there#she's gonna feel like her new year's party -which she works hard on every year- is being underappreciated#and that same cousin was going to be here with us! like why 2 partiessss whyyyyyy who's gonna clean all that#meeee because i don't like being around people and i start washing dishes when everyone is gathered doing what people do at parties#but of i say any of this to my siblings they'll think it's just because i don't wanna leave the house which is also true !!!!#i feel so ill so desperate. this is not just not being in the mood. i can't calm down i can't even swallow properly#i haven't eaten anything because i feel my throat is closed and my heart beats so fast and i feel like i'm gonna throw up my own heart#and my stomach and neck and back hurt from how tense i'm am and my head hurts because i can't stop crying#my eyes are so red and so swollen. i'm gonna look disgusting when everyone gets here#📓
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:(
#i literally feel VIOLENTLY ill at the fact the hospital handled my mum’s passing so badly that her funeral is exactly ONE MONTH after it#i’ll forever be furious and angry and hurt and traumatised by the way they handled it#like A MONTH#it should not be happening this long after#and it’s her birthday on sunday so maybe i’m just feeling ten times worse because of that#but it’s not fair#it’s never gonna be fair#why the FUCK did she get taken from me like this#and then having to be the only one who knew about her funeral plans bc she only told me#and then everybody including my dad tells me how strong i am#IM NOT STRONG!!?!!?!??!?#i’m a girl who needs her mama. i’m just a girl who is so lost and confused and needs her mama#i literally want 2 die#tw death#i turned my tv off and immediately started crying bc i felt like the worst person in the world#did i not love her enough#should i have been better to get#*her#idk i just want her to know i adored her#and i need to hear her voice and get a hug#one of the last things she said to me was ‘i love you more’ well i love you most so how about that#tw grief#i am never getting over losing her#please . feel free to let me rant i just feel like i can’t talk to my dad or family bc like idk .#i always talked to my mum about my emotions and well! that can’t happen anymore lmfao 😭#i just need a place to vent the HELL out of my feelings bc i am not going back to therapy
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day 33 drawing len until my preorder arrives
imf sorry for not doing requests recently i am a little dead
u can send requests in my askbox (。・ω・。) (4 requests in askbox as of writing)
#my art#art#kagamine len#drawing len everyday until my preorder arrives#vocaloid fanart#CHAT I HAVE DIED . also guys i spent 1 hour downloading project diva for the psp and the file didnt even work im gonna cry#also i started playing project mirai 2 again (still bad at it )#also i am injured. so that explains why im being so lazy recently >_<#CHAT I HAVE TO MEMORIZE KANJI this is so not work i just draw len i am so not studying#anyway this has been ur daily qiekz talking about its life in the tags#byebye for now
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oops! all wips
#dndads#1st img is morgan . tried to solidify the type of person that would marry glenn & jodie and its like#manic pixie dream girl meets wife under bedsheets. fun loving carefree extremely irresponsible i imagine shes as much a bad mom as glenn is#a bad dad#close family dinner for each day of the week#i imagine its very depressing cool for kids sad for adult/college life meals#i had like a pmv/animatic of tmbg erase to nicks everything but ill never finish it sadge!#comic in the middle i was gonna do like a immediately after the final where willys defeated and schools out for summer norm and scary run#into eachother while theyre walking home#and scary would ask whats wrong and normal would be like#well knowing that the entire world ended because of me has been sort of weighing#on me yeah“ and then scary would go ”normal...do you wish that *was* the reason?“ which would lead normal getting dumbstuck cuz she hits#the nail on the hammer. and then hes incredibly defensive and hes like uh b buh NO !!! MAYBE !!! and scary would share her experience#but itd make normal more resentful cuz hed be like well it all worked out for you in the end with you and your dad and you mom who all love#you. and then scary would get irked and start to call him out but then now that the bottles been uncorked his resentment would start#spilling out.#“you burned my house down! i thought it was *my* family that had the connection with the doodler ! but why- when- ”#and normal would be so frustrated and he couldnt get his words out and hed refuse to look at scary while she looks at him w/ the hardest#look of conflicted sympathy and pain#and all she could say would be stop comparing yourself to me and shed mean that in the most compassionate way possible and norm would just#be like i know#and then the bus would come and scary would have to go but shed look back and then be like “am i still coming over saturday to play#and him busy crying would just give a thumbs up#god now that i write this out maybe i will draw it i have a little bit of time left why not#to me i think scarys someone normal would have the easiest time being mean to#one because of his latent misogyny and this like unconscious superciliousness he holds towards her yet shes the one receiving the#validation he sorely craves and knowing if theres anyone he could talk to and whos understand what hes going through its her so though he#isnt able to be emotionally vulnerable or engage in a deeper level but he does feel comfortable enough to lash out at her#last pic is if nick woke up post doodlerized and found himself on cassandras couch (where the teens placed him) and shes there to greet him
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#cw vent#maybe i stayed up too late but suddenly i feel like crying#like really badly#i tried very hard today#but im still so scared#of everything#im being watched. i am absolutely sure im being watched#i can feel somebodys presence over my shoulder now and they can probably read what im typing#its been like this for so long#and#as im typing this it has been the sixteenth of juky for about two hours#twenty two hours left until my birthday#i will be sixteen#that is scaring me so much#i haven't progressed since i was maybe eleven#i still can't take care of mysekf. i shouldn't ve admitting to this but i genuinely can't do basic actions#i constantly forget to keep my body in a safe state. my hair is so messy. i get tok focused on other stuff and most of the time i just#forget to shower#i am genuinely so disgusting and unhygienic. i know this and want to fix it#but also.. i just wish i was like just an internet person#if i didn't have to eat or maintain my body i think id be a much happier person#im scared#how can i possibly be turning 16. i haven't even learnt how to eat food yet#most meals i can't eat without gagging or feeling like vomiting#i don't know why im typing all this out#for a while i was okay with it being my birthday soon. because i thought i would finally get attention and love from others#but im starting to realise that probably will not be happening#:[#why am i typing this out. my head hurts#and im gonna die
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University ever pushes you so low you have to go buy a couple of beers? /srs/neg
I'm gonna vent in the tags for a moment humor me for once /gen
#No but I'm serious this place is a nightmare /neg#Venting in the tags#humor me for a second. you go to this uni and they promise you a place that will teach you how to become an artist#on both like. morality and skill level. they feed you with bullshit for MONTHS. “oh mistakes are fine! they make you grow!”#or “oh this is a community we work all together there are no discriminations this is a safe place to learn and improve”#and we like. work on this projects - THAT WE ARE NOT PAID TO WORK FOR SO *WE* GET TO PAY FOR ALL THE MATERIALS AND SHIT FOR THEM.#to like “help the community” or whatevrr because “artists are born to inspire others and bring joy” and blah blah blah. BUT. LIKE. THE THING#THE THING IS. NONE OF THESE PROJECTS WILL END UP ON OUR CURRICULUMS. WHAT WE WORK 6-7 YEARS FOR ARE NOT SEEN AS REAL EXPERIENCES.#AS IF WE'VE DONE LITERALLY NOTHING FOR 6-7 YEARS. AND LIKE. THE PROFESSORS ARE SO RACIST AND DISCRIMINATORY AS WELL.#If they don't like you they WON'T EVEN GIVE YOU THE EXAM. BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY TO DEMONSTRATE IF YOU WORKED OR NOT. IT'S UP TO THEM.#THEY DECIDE EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE AS IF WE ARE SOME SORT OF FUCKING COMMUNIST KINDA BULLSHIT WORKERS.#Someone fucks up? *WE* FUCK UP AND EVERYONE PAYS. Someone succeeds? *WE* SUCCEED AND EVERYONE GETS THE CREDITS.#THIS IS ALSO WHY NONE OF THE WORKS WE DO END UP IN OUT CURRICULUM BECAUSE ITS MADE SO THAT *THE UNIVERSITY COURSE* DID IT AND NOT *US*.#IT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT AND I CAN'T EVEN GET OUT OF THERE BECAUSE IF I DO MY PARENTS WILL KICK ME OUT CUZ THEY DON'T WANT ME TO BE AN ARTIST#So I'm trying to STUDY for the exams and the “professors” are getting mad at me that I'm not staying 10 HOURS IN THAT MOTHERFUCKING ART LAB.#WORKING AT THEIR NONSENSE PROJECTS THAT WILL NOT END UP IN MY CURRICULUM.#“Oh if you're not willing to put all your efforts for the course this is not the place for you” BITCH I *AM* PUTTING ALL MY EFFORTS!#THIS EXAM IS *LITERALLY* PART OF THE COURSE!! WHAT KIND OF FUCKING BULLSHIT ARGUMENT IS THAT!!!!!#Istg I'm gonna cry I want to kms /NOT SERIOUS#I'm gonna cook dinner. chug my lemon beer. and try to study like a normal person and beg this shit will end soon#Don't worry I'm not going to become an alcoholic I just need something. anything and I'm ABSOLUTELY not gonna start smoking I hate it /srs#tw alchohol mention#alcohol mention#tw smoking mention#smoking mention#vent#tw vent#// mike speaks
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