#why am i even explaining no one cares
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just to explain what i meant with "being actually different" in yesterday's post i'm gonna use Frankenstein and the Monster as an example:
the Monster is said to be Victor's foil, but in reality that's Victor's perspective. While he is "human, good-looking and intelligent", the Monster is "inhumane, grotesque and dumb". but these things don't really make them different.
this is not to say Mary is a bad writer, in fact i thought the book was so freaking great i reread it twice. what i mean is that the Monster is only a foil in Victor's view.
if you're a mbti nerd like me, listen to this: Frankenstein's an INTP and the Monster is often said to be an INFP. that just shows how NOT different they are.
they're both IxxP types, so their temperament is the same - they are both Ji doms. their inferior function is a Je function. They both make decisons on what they think is the best option ignoring what the world thinks about it.
Frankenstein wants to kill the Monster bc his whole existence does not make sense to him, it's not "correct" a monster keeps walking around like a human when they're not one in his logical perspective (Ti). He doesn't really care the Monster might actually have feelings and wants to be human (inf Fe).
the Monster wants to "feel right", to feel like an actual human being, to experience the most beautiful feeling humans can ever feel: love. Everything he does is to be able to feel "right" (Fi) and when he gets rejected by everyone for his appearance, he gets in a Te grip (ex. killing that boy) and forgets every single moral principle and value he had as most important to him bc he could feel more human bc of them. He does not actually think how can he efficiently show his value to society by proving it in practical ways to people around him (inf Te).
they both lead by making decisions that the believe is the best one (Victor: i kill the monster > everything will be alright again / Monster: i will be generous and give this family gifts > they will love me), the difference is that Victor prefers what makes logical sense to him while the Monster does what feels right to him. Just that.
At the same time they both show their inferior functions similarly when it comes to how they think they are going to be seen by society: Victor fears being seen as evil and being hated by everyone for creating the Monster (inf Fe) while the Monster fears not being able to fit in and have a "normal life" (having to work, gathering food, all the practical shit) like everyone else (inf Te).
they both use auxiliary Ne and tertiary Si. right now i don't remember any Ne things i could say about them bc it's been years i last read Frankenstein but i do remember both of them described the places they were with so much richness of detail i could not not mention their tertiary Si. That might be bc Mary may use Si but idk so meh just gonna keep quiet about that.
they are actually somewhat similar in a cognitive way. the "foil" thing is only in Frankenstein's mind and they actually have a lot in common.
when i said i wanted my characters to be "actually" different i meant that in a cognitive way as well. not their vibes, aesthetics, tastes, but the way they perceive information and make decisions. that's not to say all "foil" characters are not valid and shitty. just that i, Bat, want my foil characters to be more deeply different, in my case a in cognitive way.
well that's it 👍
#why am i even explaining no one cares#idk maybe i just wanted an excuse to write an analysis lol#read frankenstein it's amazing#well aNYWAY#tio morcego tá tagarela#tio morcego tá doidão
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Since you’re really getting into the world of Jewish music, have you heard of chilik frank ? He’s a chossid who does ashkenaz/Klezmer. My absolute fav song from him is a song called ‘Rabi meir omer’ !
Ughh one thing I love about kletzmer is the emphasis on clarinet so many songs have. It makes me want to pick mine back up and play this by ear...
As well, this is how it feels to play clarinet:
#ask#jumblr#jewish music#when i was first learning clarinet in school we all had a music book and i always gravitated toward playing the jewish or kletzmer-ish song#i didn't know it was kletzmer or jewish but i knew i absolutely LOVED playing that style of music#i have ALWAYS adored how that music style has sounded. deep in my heart i knew i belonged in a kletzmer band#anon thank you <3#i SERIOUSLY need to get my claronet out but i don't know how i'd explain to my family why i'd be playing obviously 'foreign' music#i haven't picked up my clarinet in years........#do reeds expire ....#i love learning songs by playing them by ear. i learned a lot of songs through this and even made claronet parts to songs that don't have i#i'd walk around during marching band practice with my earbud in playing parts over and over. i bet it was annoying to my peers LMAO#my toxic trait was listening to music while marching and playing music (not during comps obviously just during band camp)#it was so bad i listened to one song eight hours a day (more like ten) every day for two weeks#even AFTER band camp i would replay it on my walk to my ex's house. and it was a twenth minute walk or so. it was BAD.#UMMM. apparently reeds DO expire. funny. some of my reeds i used for half a year or more#and these websites are saying to replace them biweekly? no way. no fucking way#i don't care. i'll let my reeds grow a culture of their own if they play well (slight hyperbole)#vandorens are GREAT but they're pricy. i am NOT shelling out my life savings for three reeds
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I am also the youngest but I am the favorite (as the one who has never gone to prison it’s not hard lmao) and I feel Pietro vibes hard but I think it’s more of “being a little fucking gremlin” that gives youngest vibes to me.
Also say the word and I’ll fight your brother for you. You’re awesome and deserve good things.
yk in retrospect any time ive hung out with people and ive been A Little Shit and i tell them im the youngest in my family they always say 'i can tell' so i think youre onto something
#snap chats#like kayla had this friend and when the three of us would hang out id be. A Menace as per usual#and one day she was just like 'do you have older siblings' and when i was like Yeah Three she was like 'that explains a lot'#LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAAAAAN leave me alone ... im sorry im so funny and charming and witty ... i stole those traits from my sisters#ALSO DONT BEEF WITH MY BRO LMAO PLEASE he's the last person who deserves anything bad to happen to him i promise#theres no one in the world more deserving of good things than him i cannot stress this enough he was just being funny#i always joke about how our mom hates me so floor was open to the joke gejGELKJGELAK it was funny too. no harm done#if we should fight anyone its my mom .... why would i fight my brother when we have to deal with her together right ....#anyway congrats on not going to prison anon !!!!!! keep it up 👍#oh yeah hi i meant to be on more today but even with school over for now i still had some stuff to take care of today#and then i got tomorrow ....... busy bee i am ....#next week Officially i should be in I Can Kinda Breathe territory. i still have work but at least its just comm work and not school
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it's been one day and im still pissed when will this end. season 4 had some neat assassination scenes but none of them shined as bright as the writers assassinating the characters like go off monarchs
#like dude#all of these characters have SO MUCH potential#and it's wasted time & time again#LUTHER MY SON why do they keep portraying him as himbo material#like sure he can be goofy and fun whatever who cares but???? it's like they keep using him for JOKES#klaus idk dude they just wanna torture him ig?#in every single season they put him in yet another traumatizing situation and for what lol#they don't even use it for character growth it's just?? angst for the sake of angst atp#ALSO STOPP LUTHER DIDN'T EVEN GET TO GR I EVE SLOANE#five...............#marvellous five writers have already talked about his character assassination and no one knows better than them ok#im just soooo tired#also LOL BENNNNN#im a ben blog AND HERE I AM SAYING NOTHING#BC WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT JENNIFER INCIDENT HUH#sparrow ben was a mistake there i said it i don't care#sparrow ben has no connection to the hargreeves !! fight me if u disagree#viktor wanting to save him and their little bonding scene where ben says 'im scared' is cute & all and was probably meant to parallel +#ben comforting viktor in s1 i if i remember correctly??#BUT THAT'S NOT EARNED u know why#bc ben <3 doesn't get <3 bonding moments <3 with <3 them <3#bc he IS right#they're not his family. his family was KILLED#they fumbled so hard with the jennifer incident im so pissed#really went & made his death so... idk how to explain#a plot device#that's all ben is#he IS a plot device#literally gets no growth whatsover#avril's ramblings
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i cant explain it but daigo being subtitled to just be like 'you're making me look like i have no balls' feels so illegal and wrong. hilarious but something's off
#snap chats#WAIT I HAVE TO INTERRUPT THIS POST WITH THE FUNNIEST SHIT#SO I WAS GETTING FOOD FROM MY SCHOOL'S DINING HALL AND YOU CAN WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU WANT ON A SHEET YEAH#AND I SAID I WANTED A SAMMY AND FRIES OK BUT WHEN I GET MY PLATE ITS JUST FRIES#AND YK W/E OK I'LL JUST EAT THAT BUT THEN. WHILE IM LIKE. GETTING PIZZA TO SUB IT YEAH#I HEAR THE COOKS BE LIKE 'yoo why do we just have a sandwich here' AND THE BIN IT#AND I WAS LIKE 'was that a chicken sandwich cause uhhh <:)' AND THE WOMAN WAS JUST ':OOO IM SO SORRY'#LIKE DAWG /IM/ SRRY I FEEL BADLKAJLJ but yeah. they were nice enough to make me another one 😭#ok. back on topic with this fuckin post SORRY. i just have all these potatoes and a pizza to eat with this sadnwich now#i didnt eat breakfast or lunch so its ok. moving on#watch me explain it lol. i think its just cause its hard fr me to imagine daigo even saying balls like that. in jp or english#like he just doesnt have the Oomph to do it like the kansai bitches#see this how i know jo from kansai.... that easy as balls to imagine...#LIKEIM TELLING YOU THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CAN SAY BALLS AND MEAN IT ARE KANSAI/EAST COAST BITCHES#in regards to eng its the accent... you just put a heavy mphasis on the b yk... any east coast bitches know what im talkin bout#or am i insane.it could be both idk#its cause in context he looks so meek like no !!!!! you dont be shy about balls talk !!!!!!!#I JUST IMAGINE HIM SAYING IT SO POLITE LIKE NO !!!! YOU HAVE TO SAY IT WITH FEELING. WITH YOUR BALLS#anyway daigo bb ily and i care for you but youre not hard enough to say balls#which is the most insaane thing i could say considering Daigo And His History but yk... im right...
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Thinking about current continuity Vanessa and just getting pissed off again
Like one, LET HER REST oh my god dc you ruin her FUCKING life like an asshole only to bring her back as a villain after she finally got out oh my god-
But also like its just so bad. This is a whole other woman with her name like why are we doing this. Like first you kill her mom (JULIA NOOO) and erase her YEARS of history growing up around diana (the thing that actually made her villain turn [if you can call it that w the level of manipulation involved] interesting and fucking heartbreaking) for some shitty "oh I saved you we were friends" run of the mill whatever. Then to use that and say Nessie had a crush on her OWN SISTER (Diana, so like informally adopted, but still 😡) now????
And then they took away her curls and made her a redhead but not even the realistic kind. DC SHE DOESNT LOOK LIKE THAT
It just makes me so mad. Freaking guys. They could have used another name like oh my god. She's not even the first silver swan why the fuck would they do that if they're not going to explore her history w diana (which she no longer has!!!!) or how intensely fucked up everything got for her. What is even the fucking point of this then other to drag a main character of the ww supporting cast through the mud again for genuinely no reason. They could have easily had her be Valerie Beaudry (sorry Val) instead or just MADE UP ANOTHER NAME because it's obvious that no one actually cared about her as a character they just wanted the wondy villain back so like !!!!!!!!!! Why even bother
#her entire treatment just makes me so angry#like in general it makes me mad and sad and a million other emotions#but the fucking robinson version just makes me enraged. beyond pissed off. because theres no fucking reason for it its bullshit and its the#one in current continuity right now. so i get to see tom king ww panels put on my dash that have this stupid fake vanessa and its so#infuriating. like thats NOT her!!!!!!! oh my freaking god people#her hair is BROWN and CURLY and shes dianas BABY SISTER who she lived with for YEARS like she was a MAJOR supporting ww character for the#longest time. like shes got about 100 appearances (just checked) preboot this is not a minor character#so freaking frustrating#blah#ALSO. FUCKING ALSO. THE FACT THAT THE WHOLE CURRENT VANESSA TURNED EVIL BC SHE REALIZED SHE WASNT SPECIAL TO DIANA BS. FUCK YOU THERE LIKE#OH MY GODDDDD “isnt special to diana” im going to fucking kill you. what do you mean she doesnt care about her specially. thats her FUCKING#BABY SISTER. not to sound like vanessa herself a la silver swan but those clowns at dc would never say that shit about cassie oh my god#not special my FUCKING ass. nessie and her mom were literally the first people invited to themyscira in post coie continuity#like yes diana trevor and steve trevor and even baby julia kapetelis washing ashore but like the kapetelises (and you could even say just#nessie bc again her mom had been there before) were the FIRST ones invited there like you cannot say diana didnt care about them more than#the average joe dc i fucking despise you.#this girl has been through so much why is dc incapable of throwing her a bone ever. nessie i am so sorry they did that to you sweetie.#gonna tag it bc her tag deserves the traffic#vanessa kapatelis#just makes me so mad#doing all that to the normal teen girl character in a wonder woman comic is so fucked actually like dc comics i should not have to explain#that to you. what message do you think you are sending here be serious
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Instagram keeps showing me reels of someone with a handle named something like jamesmaythristtraps and like, they are truly doing gods work but I can't like or comment on these masterpieces because I know what kind of snitch of an app it is 😔
#well atleast now I have figured out how to keep myself warm in upcoming winter months#no but#how do people handle their relatives following them online#????????#pretty recently friend of a friend was like “oh what's your insta =)??”#and its like#I have four posts and one of those is mf rick astley should I be explaining myself ??#banging my head against the table like why couldn't I just get my fangirling on for bts or something#or maybe more like out of all the 80s acts why did I fall hard for the one who is memed to death#I mean okay rickrolling can be funny#and he looked goofy there#top tier Tintin cosplay#even with my attraction to James its like#I feel like I should be explaining myself because he's old#and most likely not what when people think about male celebrities people drool over ...#maybe shamed myself into thinking “I shouldn't be attracted to this” “this is abnormal so it must be wrong”#I mean tons of girlies like men like him#but then I see guys my age say things like “I should go to the gym so women would pay attention to me”#or putting weird flexing photos on their dating profiles (not even just flexing with their muscles but like cars or watches... or fish...)#like I don't care about your boring ass new volkswagen ????#and in that case it wasn't even just one photo... I don't care for new cars they all look the same :-/#it just makes me go ? am I supposed to be attracted to this ?#is this the norm??#why can't I be normal aaaa#so in conclusion#I'm deeply ashamed of my interests and attractions lol#hopefully I will someday grow out of this#all the peer support is welcomed on this post lmao
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sonic and snufkin actually kind of feel like very similar characters to me. holding hands over “my personal sense of freedom and dedication to making decisions based on what I think is right is what matters most, and if you’ve built some idealized version of me in your head then that’s none of my business and it’s not my responsibility if the reality of who i am lets you down in some way”. also the deep connection to nature and all.
#N posts stuff#this is also a little why i am extremely picky about fanfic for these two#bc fic where like. snufkin finally settles down in the valley or lets moonin come along on his winter journey or whatever#they grate because it feels like you’re getting rid of a core of snufkin’s character for convenience.#‘he would not fucking do that’ style. i don’t like it.#like you do you it’s not a big deal it’s just personal opinion#the same for sonic. for him it’s less about being tied down in a literal sense and more to do with. conceptually#like sonic is a character very Unavailable emotionally and i dont think that’s something about himself he’s willing to change#i think that sonic is a very Internal person and his personal sense of freedom is such that like#he doesn’t Care what other people think about him. in sa2 he doesn’t seem to care that he’s been mistakenly labeled a villain bc that’s#none of his business. and in tbk he’s blunt about how he’ll happily become the ‘villain’ in other people’s eyes if he’s making the choice He#thinks is right. i don’t think his aversion to emotional sincerity or openness comes from some Hero Persona#i think he just doesn’t ever want to be put in a position where he has to navigate his friends emotions about his emotions#meaning like. being open about your problems opens you up to people who think they know better than you and want to force you to listen#to them ‘for your own good’ which i think sonic would resent on a lot of levels. so he’s unwilling to make himself vulnerable to that#but also even if someone isn’t Forcing you to listen you can still hurt people by ‘refusing’ to take care of yourself the way They think#is best. so their emotions become a coercive force intentionally or otherwise which sonic would also resent#and sonic doesn’t want to resent his friends. so he’s like ‘okay i just won’t put us in that position then’#i also think he doesn’t feel a need to Justify himself to anyone. so explaining his emotions or the Whys of who he is#feels like an attempt at justification that sonic would dislike and avoid on Principle even if he’s the only one seeing it that way#anyway ‘he would not fucking say that’ but it’s sonic having a genuine moment of emotional honesty#i do think that snufkin is more. Open to his own emotions though. and the expression of them#Comet ‘weeping over the sea’ moment my beloved. sonic Wouldn’t do that i think#i do think he closes himself off to his own emotions he doesn’t want to be tied down by Those either#which is why i also think that sonic as a character is informed by repressed/dissociative amnesia#like i Am projecting a little but i also think it makes sense for him. ‘who i used to be is none of my business i only care about#who i am Right Now’ which is another reason why he doesn’t like talking about his honest emotions#bc if he talks about them then He can’t forget them properly bc that moment is now in someone else’s head for them to remember and remind#him of. and he doesn’t want to do that so it’s for the best if he never admits to anything so he’s free to ignore and forget what he wants#In My Opinion. these tags got long i wonder if tumblr is going to delete a bunch lol
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ocd rly sucks sometimes bc i swear my paranoia just shoots me in the foot with my personal life so bad
#its like this weird combo of anxiety and favorite personing#that makes me fixate on if one specific person whos opinion i care about#like hates me or not#i currently am struggling to shake a specific paranoid delusion that cropped up last night#even tho its....... SOOOOOO unlikely#but even still#its the kind of thing if id just like#get out of my own head. would probably be fine#like#so fucking often#i just wish i could act normal enough around people to not care#its like i feel like i hide my true self from the people i want to be real with the most#and im like man if i was just acting like. normal/chill we'd be best buddies and everything would be fine#but instead i have to be fucking insane#its just hard and weird and complicated bc im so used to keeping things secret and to myself and not being able to explain things#i dont even know how to fucking talk to people sometimes#i just want to make real ass friends man#why is this so hard
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#I get tired of people trying to explain what lens I should view the world through; what way I could think that would make everything better#forgive me but I don't care; I do what I do and I do what I can and you don't see the work I do under the hood#I don't want advice on self validation or whatever; I want... I want someone to hold a mirror up so I can actually see myself#by which I mean I want input on how I'm doing; if it's good enough; if it's worth anything; if anything I make is good#everyone things I'm nice; everyone has always thought I'm nice#but given nice leaves me profoundly isolated I don't think I care#not to mention in my opinion what nice in this instance means is that I'm capable of listening#it's mostly that I have manners rather than some quality about me#I'm well behaved and polite and can listen; and that's perceived as nice or even sweet#and it's not like I'm offended by people seeing me that way; but maybe you can get why... I can't do anything with that information#but if I'm doing enough... if I provide any value to the world... I might have heard that less times in my life than years I've lived#that's where I'm totally blind#people don't tend to offer any input; and also people don't tend to let me know what they're thinking#and I in fact am not a mind reader; I can often accurately infer things; but no of that means a thing till it's confirmed#and... well... hopefully no one reads the stupid shit I say and especially not the tags so this is safe and hidden#but truthfully people just like to hear that stuff they're doing is wanted and matters#and I do not#I don't know... gotta go do more cleaning cause I need to#and I have no idea if... I've got a reason for fighting so hard to clean; but I get very little input so... I expect... well...#and thankfully I don't think they read my tags so I can say this#but I really expect they won't take me up on my offer to come out here and get away from their parents; so there will be no pay off#not that I blame them in the slightest... it's just the only possible pay off for this cleaning would be helping someone I like out#and a scrap of company#but then again... in many ways anyone coming out to live with me is the worst thing they could probably do#sorry... I have a rather bleak outlook on many things surrounding myself purely cause of what I infer from the past#there is never pay off; only more shit I need to get done#I will never be loved; I will never be wanted; I will always just kinda be an afterthought that's occasionally worth venting to#no one will ever be particularly interested in anything I'm interested while I'll chase their interests or at least try to#certainly let them talk about them when they want#...though I take that over my normal total isolation... better to at least be permitted to follow in someone's shadow than have nothing
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#man i love comforting people when almost nothing in my life is comforting me ffs#i know a certain amount of bitching id part of friendship but like#when i dont even say how i am and a person asked#but they still keep telling me awful fucking things like#idk maybe im a bad friend so they dont care#it would explain why all my brickspace friends have abandoned me#i just wish i had fucking anything to feel better#guess ill take some of these worthless anxiety meds and pray i can focus enough to drop one fucking app
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I've been watching/reading Death Note every once in a while for the last couple of months and this is the funniest most unserious serious anime ever.
#mani.txt#death note#i'm gonna take a chip... and EAT IT !!!!#it's so funny. i hate this show. < is obsessed#i dont often watch anime so i forget how campy it can get but oh my god#i'm still recovering after ep 16 & 17. that spun me. shook me to my core. i went a bit insane. like how. why. HOW.#how did all the charas go back to normal after that. this is not plot armor this is trauma armor.#how is misa okay.#How is light's rship w his dad unaffected.#how was there only ONE fist fight over this. and a WHILE after the fact. what. am I just weird for thinking this. i feel crayzoi.#i genuinely can't explain how much i want to throttle each and every one of these characters.#save for ryuk n rem n sayu n naomi. they're amazing wonderful fantastic#and light. but i need to throttle him too.#when i tell you naomi should've lived......... when i tell you she should've been L's friend......... [takes damage takes damage takes da ]#also. i love how neither L nor Light know how to be normal. ever. insane4insane. (doesnt even ship them)#+ after reading thru the manga i'm a 'the only person Light truly cares for is Sayu' truther. this will never change.#in conclusion: this show says so little about criminal justice and so much about the adverse effect of being the son of a cop.#it's a product of it's time. whatever. (death gripping my chair)
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I need my brain to explain to me, why is it whenever I think and try to imagine Reiko's husband this picture of Aoi pop into my head and I imagine him having such a vibe as in this lovely picture !!
EXPLAIN YOURSELF O ME !!!
#natsume yuujinchou#natsuyuu#natsume reiko#I don't know why ... I need answers !!#I do love Aoi so much and his story left such an impact to me#but that doesn't explain why ...#it's not that I imagine her husband having same character rather than same vibe#and that's why this one pic just ALWAYS pop into my mind ....#I imagine him having this lazy attitud and not caring about anything#yet he's kind and gentle ...#also he might have some evilness to him so that's why he can stand up to Reiko when she's playing nasty#hmmmmm am I also imaging him appearnce-wise as Aoi ??#CAN WE SEE REIKO'S HUSBAND ALREADY CUZ AOI-OVERLAPING IS KILLING ME!!!#me and my wild imagination that even I don't understand it yet refuse to leave me#-sigh-
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i hate how a majority of animal sims aren't even animal simulators, they're shenanigans simulators. they aren't actually about the animal, they're just about wreaking havoc, getting points, getting trophies. you could replace it with any other animal & it'd be the same. i don't want "haha look how funny this scenario is" i want to simulate living as a wolf in Yellowstone National Park. where are all those games
#why are WolfQuest type games so difficult to find#even when i THINK i've found one it always ends up being about shenanigans rather than realism -_-#i don't fucking care about all that shit i literally just want a billion different versions of WolfQuest for every animal on the planet#& i DON'T want to have to download roblox to play it!!! stop trying to make me play roblox!!!!!#also i fucking HATE it when i ask around for animal sims & people give me farming sims instead#if i WANTED a FARMING SIM i'd PLAY a FARMING SIM#i HAVE farming sims. i do not want to play that. i want to play WolfQuest but with birds or something#''well this game lets you have pets--'' did i say i wanted pets? do you think the bar is so low i'd accept any game with an animal in it??#do you think when i say ''WolfQuest but with other animals'' i mean fucking neopets???#i want a game that simulates the life of an animal EXACTLY like WolfQuest. i am so tired of explaining this!!!!#''well what about this dinosaur game--'' those dinosaurs are so inaccurate i want to rip the game apart with my bare hands#also they focus so much on multiplayer they forgot to make the game actually playable so no i'm not playing that#my standards are not so low i'd stoop to playing. eugh. The Isle. or god forbid Day of Dragons#at that point i'd rather play Batman & pretend it's a bat simulator
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I really do deserve a fucking apology for all the times my friends and family valued strangers on the internet and their opinions more than me
How am I supposed to be just fine with being ignored for years and years or bullied for openly liking what I like, only for those same fucking people to then turn around YEARS LATER, AFTER THE DAMAGE WAS ALREADY DONE, and be like "actually this is cool, so glad I found it" while still ignoring me. Why am I not allowed to be fucking pissed about it? Why is it considered ""gatekeepy"" when I get upset someone who deliberately ignored me for years and insulted the shit I enjoy when I asked them to get into it cuz I thought they'd like it suddenly finds interest in it because it got popular online, not because I'd been begging them to give it a chance and to listen to me for years???? Why is that not allowed????? THAT'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE MOVE, WHY IS IT 'NOT OKAY' TO BE MAD? WHY DON'T THEY GROW A SPINE AND APOLOGIZE FOR DISMISSING ME FIRST? HOW ABOUT THAT?????
#I fucking hate this it keeps fucking happening#I have a fucking LIST of all the times it's happened this is not a one time thing it's fucking reoccurring#Nothing I say will ever fucking matter to anyone not even the people who are 'supposed' to care about me#Grumble grumble#Literally showed my dad a song and he was like 'well I preferred the one that came on autoplay after'#And I was like 'oh that song? Oh you mean THAT song? OH YOU MEAN THE SONG I SHOWED YOU MONTHS AGO THAT YOU DISMISSED AND CRITICIZED?'#THAT ONE? YEAH? YEAH???#Gee I wonder why you like it NOW and not when *I* showed it to you!#UGHHHHH#Begged my friend to get into OP and he would go 'no it's too long and the art style is kinda ugly'#GUESS WHO'S NOW ASKING ME TO GUIDE HIM THRU THE ANIME CUZ OP WAS TRENDING ON TWITTER OVER THE SUMMER#UGHHHHHHHHH#Begged friends to watch Trig/un for years it was always the first anime I'd recommend anyone when they asked and was always ignored#Guess what everyone did once stampede started *trending on Tumblr*?#They certainly didn't care when I asked or when I was hyping up the trailer for stampede or literally any point before then#Nobody would ever reply to me when I talked about it#But now that it's trending on Tumblr NOW they're interested. GJSGDHDJDJDK#Happened with Pe/rso/na and Ro/tm/nt too.#Begged my middle and high school friends to get into the per/sona series. Nooo never it's sooo lame#Get made fun of for being hyped for 5's release in Calc class#Man you'd never believe who I see on Twitter as the biggest fans nowadays!!#Same with ro/tm/nt begged my friends to watch it but was dismissed and the episode I showed them heavily criticized bc it wasn't 2012#Then learn the same friend who criticized it so heavily bc he *hated it* WAS WATCHING VIDEO ESSAYS EXPLAINING WHY THE FINALE WAS SO GOOD#And there's NEVER any acknowledgement like 'hey sorry I made fun of/hated on this thing I see why you like it now'#Am I actually mental?! Would that not be the polite thing to do???#I would do that if a friend begged me to watch something and I openly dismissed them or criticized it as my reason why#And then later on I saw something online and was like 'actually...'#I would GO TO THAT FRIEND AND BE LIKE 'hey sorry I dismissed you earlier man I get why you like it now' AND THEN WE COULD TALK ABOUT IT#This isn't even about like distant acquaintences some of these people are my best friends and my roommates and my own fucking parents#People I talk to daily or near-daily. You're just not going to acknowledge what happened before??? Just expecting me to be fine with it????
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hi everyone how we doing.
#Cade.Txts#I have been mostly focusing on stimblog stuff as well as discord rp stuff lately#been fun throwing myself into my interests n things.#my anxiety has been god awful and i've been trying to focus on making n writing stuff to push back against it.#been steadily getting worse hkgjfldksjkg keep telling myself i need to go to the therapist about#this shit but its impossible wen no therapists will take my insurance or even csll me back to sechedual shit.#been trying to get help but just kinda seems like no one cares or wants to help.#n i know i have to keep Trying but it is: tiring and hard having to explain things overr n over again.#Going to to attempt to make home made stuffing for thanksgiving w my mom.#was hoping i could try n make some puff pastry apple tarts but idk if we will have the money.#speaking of which. shit is: really tight.#maybe thts why some of my anxiety has been this shit lately but everything expensive n i am tired.#But Anyways. fun time rping w friends and also making stimboards n gifs for things and stuff.
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